#will there be comfort? who knows
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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If you tell a trans man that you don't trust him because he is a man and you think men are untrustworthy, you are directly saying you would be more comfortable around him if he stayed in the closet.
#trans#transgender#transphobia#anti-transmasculinity#transandrophobia#trans man#transmasc#trans boy#tboy#trans guy#transgender man#transgender boy#transgender guy#ftm#transmasculine#fuck terfs#cause you know who say they'd be more comfortable around trans people if they stayed in the closet?
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Let's offer flowers, pour a cup of libation, split open the skies and start anew on creation.
first draft of a pattern for this sweet little libation vessel i saw in a museum the other weekend
#amigurumi#ceramics#crochetblr#crochet#fiber arts#llama#if you squint#his name is maa and he likes to whistle hymns to comfort the dearly departed#and a big thank you to the Phillistine pottery worker who made the original piece 2500+ years ago#i'll never know your name but i hope you know that you are remembered#xen makes frens
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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Ya know what shout out to butches who wrestle with our butchness because we don’t fit the mold in some way. Butches who aren’t physically strong or naturally caretaking because of physical disability, who need to be cared for, who can’t hold open the door for a femme. Butches with long hair, butches with big hair, butches who express their culture via their hair. Butches who’s masculinity is shaped by their culture, who’s masculinity doesn’t fit the white eurocentric mold. Fat butches, butches with curves viewed as feminine, butches who don’t have skinny, boyish builds. Butches who don’t want to be sexualized, butches on the ace spectrum. Butches who don’t have traditionally masculine interests or mannerisms or whatever. Effeminate butches. Butches who take inspo from gay men. Butches who like the occasional dress or skirt. TRANSFEM BUTCHES!!!!! And any other butches who don’t fit a certain mold!! All butches are good butches and we are all valid.
#I’ve wrestled with butch identity for a long time#Because I’m physically disabled and I am also Jewish and I love my hair and masculinity is Different in the Jewish community#I relate to how gay men do gender and am not traditionally masculine#I am fat and have a “mom bod” type of build#Etc etc#I have put so many standards on myself but why? I know who I am better than anyone. And I know I’m a butch!#It feels right and comfortable on every level#And that is what matters!!! Send post!#Kitty meows#Butch#Butchness#Butch lesbian#Butch identity#butch positivity
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St. Hilarion's ghost story
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#pre canon angst brought to you by the weirdo who's always drawing post canon fluff#something about oral tradition and old timey slang#i took quite a lot of decisions with this one so buckle up#first of all the female ghost keeps edwin's eyes color because there's still some truth to the legend#the background is the same shade of green to reference hell#just like it is when he's having his flashback#alive charles is dressed all in black because he's not a happy boy#i also made it so that he grips his clothes when his mate punches him even as it's intended to be friendly#because well#these people will end up killing him so it's less friendly when you remember THAT#charles obviously doesn't mean anything by the mary ann comment#he doesn't know the slang meaning and just blurted out what he remembered from the legend#he will find out reach some conclussions and go punch a wall about it probably#about edwin tho his escape is still very recent and he didn't expect this#but even so early on he knows charles means no harm and allows himself to be comforted#it wasn't intentional but hey edwin shruggin off charles' touch is a good parallel to that one scene after charles “kills” the night nurse
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Poor Sunny is at his thin line of patience! How about we add a new rule buddy, shall we!?
*scribble scribble*
There! Now they should stop with that "I was crazy once and yada yada yada"
The new rule said "At the daycare is not allowed says I was crazy once or jokes that are close to it"
If they keep going well, I guess you have to ban lots of people Sun *shrugs*
finally, Sun gets the break he deserves 🙏
non-anon askers tagged under the cut :)
@jfjustjackie
@star-bean-shine
@thefallenhumanlivingnightmares
@ender-eyes
@dimension-hopper-anon
@chaotic-beehive
@jack-o-moon-askblog
@youracebuddy
@tired-robo-mask
@raccoons-in-a-dumpster
@justfangirlstuffs
@newstar11
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#no copypastas in the daycare#doodle dump#dialogue dump#the sheer amount of asks i got comforting sun is honestly impressive. good to know there are people who do not delight in his torture 👍#the number of headphones is especially funny. he will cherish each and every one of them dw :)#and he definitely won’t run out anytime soon that’s for sure!#and thank you all for the lovely compliments!! you’re too nice :]
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The heart of the universe 💫
A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on december 1st!
#doctor who#dr who#DW#tenth doctor#david tennant#my art#okay maybe on december 2nd at this rate because I just came back home from a trip a few hours ago and I have a ton of work to get done stil#I also went straight to the doctor (the actual one) because of the swollen face and turns out they don't know what it is and I need a MRI#great wonderful fantastic I'm not scared at all I'm so brave about it.. anyway here is my comfort little man
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Someone I am not
#silver the hedgehog#satbk galahad#satbk#silver#galahad#sonic and the black knight#satbk sir galahad#sth#sth fanart#sonic fanart#my art#doodles#hi. been working on this off an on for the past couple. months? anyways#<3#something about being haunted about who you are or could have been#are they you? would they have done things differently if they were in your position? would things have ended up exactly the same#are you jealous. sad. horrified by someone who is you but transformed and mirrored so many times they are someone else entirely#would you be kind to them. give them comfort that you either know you need or wish you had#what would you around someone you think you know. do you even know yourself? maybe not entirely. not anymore#anyways enjoy the painting <3
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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people being shocked and frustrated by Alicent not comforting Aegon is funny because they clearly haven't been following the same "child bride, married by 14, two kids by 18, routinely martially raped, emotionally repressed, guilt-ridden" character that I've been following for the past two years.
#“She didn't comfort him!”#have we...considered that she literally doesn't know how to??#“She could've just hugged him!”#are we talking about the same woman who is approached by physical touch as a sexual/abusive transaction??#“She's a bad parent!”#yes?? we know??#sometimes the cycle wins guys. sometimes. the fucking cycle wins.#Alicent Hightower couldn't get out. and now she's stuck looking at the mirror every time she looks at Aegon.#and so. she won't look at Aegon.#hotd#house of the dragon#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#text#team green
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Hi I have big feelings about these two.
#isat spoilers#in stars and time#it's been a rough week so time to draw comfort characters having big feelings. I love them so much aaa#I want to draw the rest of the cast more but.. it's hard when Siffrin and Loop exist#isat Siffrin#isat Loop#media#also I'm so sorry for anyone who has to bear witness to my image descriptions. Describing things is so hard for me kkjghkg#I do my best on days I have the brain but I don't know if it's actually comprehensible#two hats spoilers
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bad day need hug
#zukka#zuko x sokka#zukka fanart#atla#atla fanart#yes clingy Sokka this clingy Sokka that#what about Zuko who has never once seen peace finally feeling comfortable seeking affection?#what about Zuko having the worst possible day but he’s okay because#he knows he has a loving bf to go to who won’t deny him care?#sorry I’ll shut up now but this is too important to me
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apparently it was zane day on the 13th and i MISSED IT. NOOOOOO anyway have some oppo
#oppositeshipping#ninjago kai#ninjago zane#ninjago#ninjago shipping#teshfarts#as you can see i cannot draw a ninjago character without them being accompanied by a kai#oppo is my comfort ship rn i love them so much (and a made up ship called hoverpad too. you know who you are <3)#Nobody; Nothing At All; Empty Page by the TCW all make me think about oppo. ouughh..theres prolly more that i just dont remember
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werewolf hangover
#OC#josie#ark#ark ate a deer. or two. who knows what the hell josie got up to#it's easier to be a werewolf out in the woods but arks kind of a prude so he prefers wolfing out in the comfort of his own home#but josie needs the enrichment of running around for 10 hours straight or she'll go insane#this is the dichotomy of man
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