#So of course that's my focus here and ofc i process a lot here specifically thru a fandom lens

[milfbrainrot]

.

I feel like in the past the mix of this site being used for both activism and fandom helped contribute to a lot of unhinged politicized fandom discourse where yeah ofc there's a political tie to media but ppl used it as... a form of activism where it was given disproportionate importance compared to other activism discussions? Whereas now we're swinging to the opposite site of How Dare You Care About Meaningless TV Shows When Politics.

Like... we can have a mix of realizing there's more important stuff to focus on than shipping discourse in the world at large without also minimizing the insane doxxing and death threats behavior going on in fandom that people in fandom have to take into consideration to be able to do their hobby, esp given how those attitudes stem from irl political climates at times in ways that are telling to study. Hobbies are kinda how we prevent activism burnout also. Crazey how that works.

[gamerbearmira]

heya again <3

so...i got some more giftless grandkids thoughts here, written in bullet points because my brain just kept going AHAHHAHA

I’m currently listening to the vocal mashup of the grandkids of waiting on a miracle while im going through the giftless grandkids tag as im taking a break from other aus, it’s very fun and sets the mood somehow AHHAHHA

I’m really glad they have each other and are thriving even without their gifts, and they likely already got used to not having gifts and wouldn’t care, and that’s so real of them

The mashup is making me think of some things tho, ngl AHHAHAH

But anyway, yes, I currently have many thoughts

Was thinking about the reasons for why Casita would crack and fall, considering the kids are close with each other here and the adults (minus Alma oof) are all there supporting them, Bruno included since he never went to the walls

And as I read some of your posts and think about it more, it makes sense

There are several main things that would make Casita crack here—aka the family themselves cracking—would be:

Ofc, there’s still Alma’s pressure on the triplets and her confusion and unintentional hurt towards the grandkids

Most likely how Julieta is hiding the big secret on why they didn’t get their gifts and also their doorknobs

Another is how Pepa and Bruno are also hiding the vision tablet from everyone but specifically Julieta

Still trying to think of other reasons, but those are the main ones, I think

In canon, Bruno had been patching up the cracks, which definitely helped Casita stay up longer, but he never went to the walls here, so how would Casita and the family last until a little after Antonio’s ceremony (assuming we’re still going with something similar to canon timeline)?

Here is where the kids’ good relationships come in, their love and care are helping hold things together, even without Bruno repairing the cracks

The process of Casita cracking would be slower here compared to canon

So what happens when the kids—the main reasons for Casita still being able stand—are faced with the revelation that they could have gotten their gifts back then? Could have possibly avoided a lot of heartache and ridicule and disappointment from the people around them? And the reason they didn’t are because of the adults? Because of Julieta?

They hyperfocus on the bad parts, overshadowing the good parts because its an intense and shocking moment and revelation for them, I think

In the moment of the revelation, that’s likely going to upset them, maybe even break them a little, because why? Why did they—? 

Of course, they’ll later have the full realization that they grew up happier without the gifts, but again, that’s later

Also, pretty sure they focus more on the fact that it seemed like the adults they trusted lied and deceived them in a sense, almost like a betrayal (except ofc its not)

This, too, would connect to how Julieta says in that one giftless grandkids art of yours, “I didn’t want to hurt them—to hurt anyone.”

And then, with the love faltering for a moment, that’s how Casita falls apart

Also, why am I imagining the kids finding the vision tablet that Pepa and Bruno are likely hiding, making them realize what Julieta is hiding, which then starts the realizations, arguments, and full-on cracking of Casita?

This would then parallel canon with Bruno’s vision too

This means we get to see all the kids trying to figure things out together too

After everything, I can really see Julieta and the rest of the adults gifting the kids their doorknobs again as a surprise—which they will later use to get their gifts too AHAHHAHA YEAHHH

Anywho, ye, just some thoughts I have hehe <33

Literally listened to that bop today so real 😭😭

ANYWAY. Y'all might not now, but Mic here as been helping me in world building for this au 🤭🤭 its gonna be one of the next fics I do, since Mamabel and Werewolf are finished (will be updating today after I finish Mama Isa. And if my wifi will let me <\\\3)

ANYWAY THESE IDEAS?? ARE SO RAD...Triplets being in the spotlight because the grandkids have no gifts, its so sad. But honestly, Alma is just pushing them because she needs to prove that the miracle is ok. Implying that the kids did something. Subtle, but whatever.

Also, the kids are like Mirabel in canon, constantly trying to prove themselves and helping out around town. Meanwhile there's a certain group of villagera who don't even like them. Not all the villagers, but definitely a good chunk. There may or may not be a rather crude mural somewhere in town out of the way. But there :(

But anyway. The kids do have hobbies relating to their gifts! The husbands, feeling guilty, gave the kids presents, gifts to give them something to do since Alma couldn't "assign" them anything (which they were grateful for).

Isabela got some gardening gloves and tools, and is really into gardening and farming, and is always tending to her garden or helping out with the farmers in town. She also tends to all the plants in Casita. Dolores loves to play music, and after Félix gave her first guitar, she was hooked. She has tons of instruments, and actually taught Mirabel to play the accordion; she helps with entertainment, like Camilo. Agustín got Luisa some dumb bells, she actually asked for them. She wanted to strong and still help out, and regulating exercises and mostly helps out with packing and loading or at the quarry.

Camilo was give some costumes and puppies, and he's been into performances and theater since. He also performs for the kids, and plays alongside Dolores often. Mirabel was given new sewing stuff. Instead of Alma teaching her most of what she knew, Agustín helped her, since he knew some, and she kept the fashion and crafts hobby up. She helps repair things around town, and does the occasional clothing repair. Antonio still is finding his hobby, but the grandkids know he really loves animals. They actually suggested Félix get him a pet. So what does he get him? A parrot. Antonio loves that parrot like no other, and he's always around him, trailing behind Luisa.

DESIGNS 🌚🙏🙏 I'll post the family tree later, and maybe draw the triplets because their designs changed but me and Mic are still working in them. But the kids❗❗ Their clothes are very plain and dull, because the seamstress refused to make their clothes any fun. Even Mirabel can only embroider so much, and she rarely has time to do so cause she's so busy helping. But there's some subtle designs <33

Julieta really did and does mean well in this au, but drastic actions really do cause drastic results in some cases. Her pull those doorknobs was definitely drastic. While the kids are happier and aren't nearly as pressured, they feel inadequate, and like something is missing :(( And then there's vision tablet (that's like over 40 years old 💀), but that's a whole other can of worms.

ANYWAY. AO3 HOPEFULLY LATER MY WIFI IS :((( Also I'll be posting the finished storyboards for the WOOM animatic I'm working on, and then I'll also post the rough video put together with it. SHOUTOUT TO @thefourchimes FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS SHE'S SO COOL <333 should tote check out her aus, they're so cool. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[liquidstar]

speaking of greece and also oc side projects, i was trying to do worldbuilding on the "godless" ocverse. still in the concept stage but heres what i got

what i've already established is that this is a fantasy world where all of greek mythology is real, but the gods have abandoned the earth for a long time. after almost 2000 years, we're in the equivalent of the 1800s/early 1900s. the general conditions (as well as designs) are based on real life greece during that era. the main difference is that its much more peaceful- part of the reason im setting this in an alternate world is because im not doing this to tackle ottoman occupation, the pontic genocide, or world wars 1 and 2. a lot of that stuff is heavier than what i wanna do.

but i am still trying to tackle one thing about greek culture, specifically in relation to the gods. the history of hellenism is still something very deeply ingrained into the country's culture, and yet... idk if you guys have noticed, but the country has been christianized (the fact that the gods absence lines up w the anno domini era is on purpose). my goal isnt to romanticize ancient greece by any means, there was a lot wrong with it and im not one of those "roman empire" guys lol. but what i wanna do is get into that weird "gap" in greece's modern identity vs its ancient one, via the feelings of the characters and being abandoned by the gods and the bygone age of heroes. (and im aware ofc that a big part of that IS the heavier side of the country's history, even if i wont directly be tacking the aforementioned real world events)

MOSTLY i want it to be a fun romp though, i wanna pay homage to the adventures of heroes like odysseus, jason and the argonauts, perseus, heracles, etc., who would all be REAL historical figures in-universe! (well, heracles is a demigod) most likely ones the protagonists would idolize in their own adventures. im referencing the cambelion monomyth/hero's journey as a format for that, but i don't intend to lean too heavily on it either.

all that being said, i made a map :)

i chose the name "ilia" from the ancient greek name for troy- "ilion," which is also the namesake of homer's iliad.

the region is split up into different territories. all the territories still worship the gods equally, but they each have one main major sanctuary to focus on the olympians+hades (and i included both hestia and dyonisis, i think it would be funny if both region didnt consider the other one a true part of the lineup). the position of the symbols shows you where the major sanctuary is located.

again, all regions worship all the gods and have different temples throughout (smaller towns and villages may have their own temples dedicated to more specific deities) however, the major sanctuary in each area is what defines it because the hiereus or hiereia of these temples acts as a head of state (of course, a world where gods are real is a theocracy). the requirements for a hiereus/hiereia are to be gifted by the god of the temple, and be a dedicated scholar of their domain. theyre selected from a large group, through a democratic processes, usually leading for life.

i have names for each reason but theyre not set in stone so ill keep those on the back burner

i dont have a lot of specifics plot-wise figured out anyway, but wanted something to visualize the idea. itll put me on the path to figuring out exactly what that could entail! after all, even with the gods gone, plenty of supernatural things remain. enchanted/cursed relics, hallowed ruins, ancient monsters, the underworld, olympus, oracles, and, of course, the gifts!

[nixierain]

Alright poll time I will hopefully remember and find

Woah I havent showed you much of these, but a recap anyway about the and just an intro ig under the cut if you wanna learn more, feel free to ask questions too!!

DoveTech/LividMetals: Rival companies taking place in California, both majoring in robotics and experimentation. Lots of lore. Makn inspirations: Qualia Automata (Team 6x111) and FNAF. Yall should know about the Fritz family by now, I also got an rp blog for this at @dovetechandlividmetals

Bromind Deities: Bromind is one of my main worlds (2nd newest world as well), the deities were created by the Goddess light and split into two sections; The Astral deities and the Terestrial Deities. The Astrals being; Neptune, Void and Nebula and the Terestrials being; Myca and Fawn (theyre gay). They control over different things. And theres a hierarchy ofc!

Bromind False deities: This plot focuses on Siri (the False deity of the stars) and when she was rejected by Light for Nebula. Then Siri gets vengeful and with Voids help she makes a new hierarchy

Fumbling: Follows Liam and Mason's journey through Harkton Boarding highschool, and being gay they find friends with; Dereck (Drake), Dixie, River, Reef, Kayla and Addicus. Though since middle school our two mc's have been bullied by Mark and his friends. Though some things happen and everything goes askew, throwing thier whole life off balance. This is my gay story, and L and M were my first Gay characters (shocking aint it) I made them in 7th grade

Deadbeat Outlaws (DBO): This story follows two trouble makers, Zach and Craz. The lore has changed a LOT since when I first made it, though I kept the name. Its not fully completed and I don't know how much I want to change so I dont have much to put here

Hellena stuff: this has a LOT of lore and came even before Dragonopolis, like I grew up with this world cause its my lego world that got shaped into this. So the story would be one of many that are with the three heros, Nate, Flower and Nightshade. Nate and Flower have also been tied to DoveTech. But this would focus on their hecktic life of being hero's and going insane to the point where one goes evil and takes over, forcing the other two to have to save the lives, and a lot more!

11:11: Follows the story of a 14 year old girl with ADHD who wishes to not be bored one morning while she eats breakfast, this wish comes true and she gets transported to Trifullium and meets Fenn, the two have to work together to get Mayabelle (the girl) home, eventually falling in love in the process.

Everdollskin: my ragdoll world thing! And my most recent world I've built. Unsure of what part you want me to focus on, but itd probably be either Fargo and Evendor's story and Evan and Bens! Full lf twists and turns and of course Ragdolls and horrors, tears and all!

Apollo: Sooooo, Apollo is one of my newest Oc's, hes got a bunch of lore already though. So he's one of my Yandere's. I know he looks gay (people are arguing with me when I say hes "straight" sl we made a compramise and said he only likes one oerson and that happens to be a girl, and also ig hes bi) But he meets Mae and falls totally head over heels for her, but she... HATES him. Now join him in stalking his new found obsession and killing off anyone she dates!

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

Rated: Teen and Up

Pairing: General, hint of Dean/OFC

Tags: Witchcraft, Animal Transformations, Angst, Fluff (and Fur)

Word Count: 5500

Hello, and welcome to my very first foray into a big bang! Of course, if I’m going to give one a try, Dean Winchester will be the focus. This particular one was also much less intimidating as it was the 2023 Dean Winchester Big Bang: Mini Edition. So, the word count wasn’t high, and we had a couple of months to work on the project with our artists. My artist is TwinOne. I had such a fun time sending over suggestions and watching their artwork come to life through the process.

I hope you enjoy and please let TwinOne know how sweet and lovely the artwork is. I’m over the moon with the results, and it was so satisfying to see someone’s interpretation of my story! It scratched that itch (wink, wink).

Thank you to the mods @deanwbigbang for hosting and running such a fun challenge! Your time and effort is appreciated!

Summary - Set pre-series, Stanford Era: Dean has been sent on a solo hunt in New Orleans. He meets up with an ingenue witch, Selina, who needs his help to save her mentor from a voodoo priestess. The plan doesn’t go as expected; when does it ever? Dean, though, gets a little breather in the aftermath, and it turns out to be just the thing to scratch that itch.

Prequel to "Oh, I'll Be Anything You Want"

Tendrils of smoke. It swirls, radiating bright white, pulsing with life in an empty void. Growls. Incessant barks. Distant at first. With every passing second, the panic rises as the sound pounds closer. Suddenly, hot and foul breath chases out the smoke.

Dean’s lids popped open from the nightmare. His head tilted from side to side, inspecting the area.

He’d hoped the entire thing had been a self-constructed comedy of errors in his mind. A bad dream from which he’d blessedly awakened.

Unfortunately, the current situation he found himself in was very, very real.

There was no way Dean Winchester would ever tell his dad about this.

If he somehow managed to escape this debacle, he might die of humiliation if someone found out.

New Orleans had been a disappointment in so many ways. No booze. No beads. No boobs.

He whined at the unexpected stab of pain emanating from his shoulder. He’d been lucky to win the fight in one piece. The sparring partner’s fangs had sunk into Dean’s flesh like malleable clay.

But before the ambush, he’d at least accomplished what he’d set out to do. The hex bag had been buried in the priestess’s backyard. Selina had provided specific instructions. Dean’s sense of direction easily found the northernmost corner of the parcel lot. The muslin-wrapped ingredients he’d been charged with rested beneath a half foot of dirt. All his tasks were completed well before midnight under the brightest full moon he’d seen in ages. He hoped Selina had gone ahead with the spellwork even if he hadn’t gotten back to her in time.

He stared out between the steel bars into the pitch-black. The absence of light left him bereft of shadows to discern as friend or foe.

An itch tap-danced over his neck. Skin rippled at the sensation while he fought the temptation to scratch. Discomfort from the wounded limb took priority for a short spell. 

He hadn’t thought things could get worse but turned out jail time was the worst thing that could have happened on top of everything else. Getting caught, literally, in this condition left him vulnerable.

Dean’s nostrils flared and twitched at the overpowering stench of pungent piss and stale shit. He got a whiff of cat dander and sneezed.

The cell block buddy to his right barked to keep it down. It was lights out, after all. Just because he’d been brought in late last night, he was told with a fierce growl, didn’t mean he couldn’t acclimate himself to the way things ran around here right quick. Dean rose only to circle the middle of the floor again. He eventually flopped back down, forced by the pulsing throb of his barely treated and badly bandaged wound. He curled like a ball atop the hard surface. The bone-cold of the place sent a shiver through his body. He closed his eyes again and prayed for sleep.

A fluorescent electric buzz hummed into his ear canal. The flicker of light flashed over closed lids. Tapping into all his senses, something alien swept left to right along the surface of his eyeballs, lazy and slow, as his sight focused.

A languid yawn escaped. The clink-clack of a door unlocking bolted him upright. He scampered to the front of the cell closest to the hallway floor. Nose stuck between bars, Dean tilted his head in vain to glimpse who entered.

Whines. Barks. They echoed off the walls. The instinctual urge to join in added his voice to the chorus.

“I found one that fits the bill a few hours ago.” A raspy elderly voice mixed in with all the noise. Dean recognized it. It belonged to the dog catcher that had entangled him in what looked like a big ass butterfly net. He was the reason Dean was here. He’d done the bare minimum caring for the Pitbull bite. Dean transferred most of the front weight to his left paw. The ache of his right shoulder thrummed in sync with the beating of his little heart. Dean had to be the one to fit the bill.

All Dean could view in his line of sight were soiled, grass-stained tan pants from the knees down and dirty brown combat boots. Pride filled his lungs. The tug of war he’d put up in the net brought the dog catcher to the ground. Their scrap amidst dirt and weeds and a flounce in a mud puddle had left his mark on the human.

Human. Christ, it has to be her coming to claim me. Please.

Hope soared in Dean’s chest when his gaze clamped on the blue (which would be violet if he was looking through his human eyes) leather of a familiar pair of high-heeled ankle boots. A crepe skirt rivaling Joseph’s technicolor dreamcoat covered the boot tops and swished in time with the steps.

“I hope it’s him.” A barely audible female voice floated above, drowned out by the pound puppies’ cacophony.

Selina! Thank Christ! A tinny, high-pitched bark erupted from his throat. Down here! Down here!

Both pairs of boots stopped in front of him. “That’s him there,” the catcher added. A wrinkled finger pointed in his direction.

Selina’s figure descended. Hands gathered the skirt up as she settled into a squat.

Her big almond-shaped eyes, a tad oversized for the heart-shaped face, blinked in relief. Dean halted his bark in mid-yip. Instead of her usual deep purple irises - a breathtaking sight in and of themselves on any given day - he was met with equally captivating dark blue saucers, swirled with golden flecks. The sight of her large frame stirred up amazement.

She grinned. “Yep, that’s him!” 

The dog catcher huffed and fumbled with the key into the padlock. “You should take better care of the mutt. No collar or chip. He’s lucky I found him.”

Lucky, my ass!

“He’s not a mutt,” Selina responded in her typical curt fashion. “Purebred beagle.”

“Aint never seen a beagle with green eyes ‘fore,” the dog catcher mumbled. He fished the padlock from out of the loop. “Or one with paws that damn big.” The cage door squeaked with Dean’s nose nudging it open. Dean bounced off his hind legs into Selina’s lap. 

Selina slammed a hand on the concrete to remain upright. “Oh, thank God! Scooby!” She wrapped her free arm around Dean. 

“Scooby, huh?” The old man removed his cap to smooth down the ten wiry hairs on his head.

Dean’s pulse began to slow, nestled tight and secure in Selina’s embrace. The scent he’d connected with her, spicy incense and pink bubblegum, enveloped his now small and furrier frame.

One back paw reared up and swatted repeatedly at one of his floppy ears.

“What happened to him?” Selina’s tender touch caressed the gauze bandage.

“Got ‘imself in some trouble. Looked to be an animal bite.”

Dean’s lids clamped tight. He cocked his head and continued to flick and dig his paw into the spot behind his ears. Maybe if he used his claws.

“Does he… have fleas?” Selina asked in a tone that regrettably already knew the answer.

Fleas? Dean whined, still scratching. Why the fuck not? On top of everything else.

“We’re gonna take care of this, Dean. Promise.” Selina white-knuckled the steering wheel, hands at ten and two. Her lithe, petite frame perched on the edge of the bench. It was the only way she could reach the Impala’s gas pedal.

Dean languished on the passenger side and sunk into the center of the seat. It was still dark out. Street lamps popped overhead in a rhythmic pattern and spilled light through the windshield. Cobblestone-paved streets jostled the chassis. His baby usually drove like a tank with barely a hiccup; all smooth sailing. He wondered how much the bumpy ride had to do with the road condition under the tires or the person driving his car. 

He sighed, closed his eyes, and shivered at the pinprick, itchy tingle of his skin. 

Apparently, the spell Selina had cast didn’t include telepathy. No matter how much he wished for her to reach under the seat, feel for the damn bar to pull the bench forward to close the distance between her and the wheel, she wasn’t tuned into his mental signals.

Dean straightened his front legs and stiffened his elbows at the sudden screech of tires. His paws dug into the leather. He lurched forward with the momentum, watching Selina do the same from the driver’s seat. Once they settled to a stop, she stared over at him with a regretful frown. “Sorry. I haven’t driven in a while.”

Dean slitted his lids and yipped.

“It’s not much farther to the shop.” The pointy toe of her boot met the gas pedal and the car sputtered along again. “Once I got a lock on your location and saw how far away you were, I didn’t have a choice but to take your car. But don’t worry, we’re gonna take care of this, Dean.”

You already said that. Dean’s little barks echoed in the Impala’s interior.

“I know you’re trying to tell me something. But I can’t read your mind.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“Man, you’ve got a powerful set of puppy lungs. Want some good news? I was able to lift the hoodoo trance off Esme. All thanks to you.”

Well, at least something good came out of this mess.

It was very good news. He was in New Orleans because his father sent him on a case to help out an old friend. The old friend happened to be a witch doctor named Esmerelda. Esme for short. 

Dean’s boots had hit Danneel Street and crossed the threshold of “Step on a Crack” Magical Notions Shop, which Esme owned, one day too late to prevent the inevitable escalation. Esme had been cursed and was unsure when the fallout would take full effect. She hadn’t stepped on a crack but the toes of a powerful voodoo priestess in the French Quarter. That’s why he and Selina had partnered up. To save her teacher, who’d been rendered catatonic. Esme was currently being watched and cared for by the coven, whose members were taking shifts at her bedside.  

Glad your mentor is on the mend. That’s even better for me. She can probably zap me back quicker than you. Why aren’t we heading there?

“She’s still pretty weak, though, from what Harold told me over the phone.”

Dean huffed.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I know you wanted to turn into a German Shepherd. But I did say I couldn’t guarantee what kind of dog breed the spell would transform you into. That’s not in my control.” Selina tangled her hands one over the other along the steering wheel column in a clumsy fashion. Dean swayed to the right with Selina’s left turn. “I’m pretty sure, though, the shop’s got some things that will take care of your fleas while we wait out the magic.”

It was true. Selina hadn’t guaranteed much about the spell. And it had been his idea to try it when they rifled through the pages of an ancient grimoire. The voodoo priestess had stitched some warding around her property, only permitting certain humans to cross. An animal transformation made perfect sense. 

Dean groaned and rubbed the side of his head into the backrest to ease the itch. Fleas better not have been part of Selina’s witchcraft.

Dean scrabbled paws along the slippery marble floor, trying in vain to sit upright. Every time he thought he’d achieved a precarious balance, his body toppled. He’d starfished, even done a few Bambi-on-ice skating maneuvers waiting for Selina in the tiny bathroom. Claustrophobia settled in, though it’d only been a few minutes since she promised to return and closed the door behind her.

How old was this puppy skin he inhabited? All of Dean - his mind, sensibilities, and humanity - wrapped up tight in this fur burrito felt like him, except when it didn’t. Curious instinct made its presence known. Once he relented on the sitting still attempt, his nose glued to the floor and led the inspecting. He tried to zone in on something interesting to escape the fear. And the endless itching he’d been ordered not to scratch. When Dean thought about it, it wasn’t that different from any given human day. 

Overhead, water poured out of the claw foot tub’s red copper faucet. Steam plumed over the deep basin. The impending bath temperature also drew concern. Being a beagle was terrible enough. A boiled beagle? Hell no!

Flared nostrils filled with the overwhelming scent of Selina. A sense of calm broke through the nagging flight response. He’d been in the small apartment only once since arriving in Louisiana. Perched over the magic shop, his first step into her home had flooded his sight. It was a treasure trove of textiles and trinkets blazing with gemstone brilliance. Shelves stuffed with books. Glass jars of unidentifiable powders. Vials of transparent or opaque liquids. Everything a young witch needed to learn the craft.

She smelled nice before. He’d caught whiffs of her here and there when he passed her frame on his human feet. But his canine senses were picking up every atomized particle now. He spotted a forgotten hairbrush hiding in the corner and catapulted forward to claim it. His speed and the slick marble took away any ability to stop in a semblance of elegance. He face-palmed into the rubber tines of the brush. Tangled hair in the brush tickled his nose, and rapid inhales took more of her into his lungs. Yeah. This was nice. It felt good. Safe. He debated chewing.  

The door creaked. Dean spun in a flash and let out a pathetic growl of defense, having painted himself into a corner with no way out. Selina stepped inside, paying him no attention. The giantess silenced him with only her presence. 

“Apple cider vinegar.” She held up a bottle in victory, clutching a few small droppers in the other hand. They clattered from her grip into the pedestal sink. Sitting on the tub edge, she uncapped the vinegar and emptied the contents with a rhythmic glug into the water. 

Drops splattered up and out of the tub, landing near Dean. He flinched. Doggie brain told him this was not going to be pleasant. 

“Okay.” Fingers twisted first one faucet knob, then the other, shutting off the flow. Her arm dipped into the water. Dean’s ear perked up at the sloshes. “Not too bad.”

Says you.

“Come on, Dean.” Her wet hand gestured with a come hither.

You know, I might be able to hang on until the spell wears off. I’m good.

Selina sighed. “You’re gonna make me come over there, aren’t you?” She slinked on the floor, knees stretching the fabric of her skirt as she crawled towards him on all fours.

Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve dealt with worse.

His insistence fell on deaf ears. She snatched him up in a second. The next, he dangled above the water. Her hands cupped him under whatever a dog’s version of armpits were. He kicked and wriggled. Whined and whimpered.

“It’s okay.” She submerged his hind quarters like a tea bag in and out three times until he gave in and went limp in her arms to steep. “Not gonna hurt you, no matter what you think of witches.” She leaned him forward with care. “Good boy.” When she let him go, he stood in warm water that rose up to just meet his back.  

He shivered, puppy heartbeat racing. His nose twitched at the acidity of the vinegar additive. The sound of skin rubbing together crept up behind him. “Next ingredient we need is peppermint.” A soap bar popped into his peripheral vision. It smelled of candy mints left atop a restaurant check, then absentmindedly stuffed in a jacket pocket. “Okay?” she asked.

You gonna stop if I say no? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Okay, so Dean had to admit to himself - even if he’d never cop to Selina - the bath hadn’t been that bad. Selina had a gentle but firm touch. She’d sudsed all of his coat, lifting him first from the front and then the back end. She apologized for getting a little more intimate than Dean had expected with his little puppy prick and ass. The fleas could be anywhere, she reminded him. As the tub drained, she sprayed water from the shower wand and rinsed him clean. 

Once he was taken out of the tub and laid atop one towel, another enveloped and rubbed until his fur was damp and not dripping. She communicated all of her actions beforehand. The dropper bottles contained various oils to help rid Dean of the dreaded fleas. With fabric under his paws, he sat tall and tilted his head to study Selina while she worked. She smiled at him, patiently naming each essential or botanical oil she squeezed into a water bottle: Almond, Cedar, Eucalyptus, Lavender. 

The concoction soothed immediately on contact. The mix of smells dispelled the last remnants of his anxiety. Delicate, soft fingers caressed his coat and threaded through the fur to find the skin. The blissful massage helped chase away the panic. Yet another thing he’d never admit to Selina. If he ever got the chance to admit anything to her with his human voice again. Weirdly, he seemed perfectly willing to accept such a fate. Maybe things could be much, much worse after all. 

After tidying some of the bathroom mess, Selina opened the door and ushered him forth. Dean’s legs scampered toward the makeshift doggie water bowl beside the bank of kitchen cabinets. One would have thought he’d never want to dip his snout in water again. But he gobbled and slurped with his tongue like he hadn’t drank a drop in days. He didn’t know how much time had passed before a plate of cut-up deli ham had been deposited alongside the bowl. He was greedy for that as well. Fangs hooked into the meat. He hitched his head upwards to encourage the food down his throat.

“I know human food isn’t the best for you… like this. But let’s hope we don’t have to experience the results and the spell wears off before then.” Selina commented, leaning against the countertop. “Do you need to go outside and do some business?”

Again, without any say in the matter, Dean’s head sprung upright to lock his gaze on the sweet human caretaker at the words “go outside.” He mulled it over. He’d pissed in the nearest grass as soon as they’d left the pound. An impressively long and satisfying leak. He wanted to shake his head “No” but couldn’t do it. Instead, his eyes tracked a small rug by a chair. His claws clicked along the hardwood - thank god the entire floor wasn’t marble - to what he decided would make a perfect resting spot. He corkscrewed his frame into a compact fur ball atop the cushy velvet and let out a deep, well-earned sigh.

“Good idea. I’m beat, too.” She pointed somewhere behind Dean. “Can get a few hours of sleep before sunrise. I’ll be able to find out how long the spell will last with a clearer head in the morning.” She shrugged. The motion appeared to loosen a yawn from her throat. “But, maybe you’ll wake up all back to normal.”

Dean yawned in return, finishing it with a high-pitched squeak.

Selina giggled. “You are adorable, Dean Winchester. Night.”

Too exhausted to be any more humiliated, Dean’s tail thumped softly in response. He closed his eyes. Clean. Warm. Cozy. Well fed. Watched over.

He drifted off, hard-pressed to recall the last time he’d ever been all those things.   

Dean’s running. His puppy paws gallop atop the soft, giving earth of a field. He’s darting through the wheat. His snout cuts through the crops, scraped by wispy stalks. 

He can hear how heavy he’s panting. The exertion and speed has his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

But he’s not running from something.

Dean’s just running. Because he can.

He breaks through and into a clearing. The sun’s rays warm his furry coat. He spots a quintessential farmhouse in the distance. He can see the large wrap-around porch. A pair of rocking chairs. Off to one side is a laundry line studded with freshly washed clothes, flapping in the breeze. An oak tree, taller than the two-story home, stands guard along the other side. A tire swing dangles from one of its sturdy branches. A few white cotton candy clouds rest above it all in the bluest of skies. 

He feels the farmhouse calling to him. He just knows. It’s home.

All the colors of the rainbow that his human eyes normally detect fill his vision. He zig zags between a row of apple trees, closing the distance. A fallen apple halts him. He sniffs; the sweetness is too good to pass up. He gnashes into the mealy flesh, attacking it from all angles. He tongues the juices into his welcoming throat.

“Deeaaan!”

His head snaps up. That voice beckons him home. He resumes his sprint. That voice. He hasn’t heard it in ages.

He cuts through a tall patch of sunflowers to find the voice's owner waiting for him, seated on the porch steps.

“There you are!” Sam calls out. He tosses a tennis ball a few feet in the air above his head, catching it without having to glance at his palm. This Sam is young. Thirteen or so. He’s spindly, a toothpick with knobby joints, and a smile that takes up half his face.

Just like he remembers.

“Mom said we’ve got time before dinner.” Sam juggles the ball from one hand to the other.

Mom. Mom’s here.

“Ready?” Sam asks, winding his arm back for a killer pitch.

Dean yips.

Dean yipped himself awake. 

It’s morning. 

He’s still a beagle.

Selina watched as Dean did his business in the backyard of the Magic Shop. Unlucky, she had to experience the results of feeding puppy Dean human food. But she didn’t complain, picking up after him. “All done? How about some breakfast? Eggs and bacon sound good?”

That sounds amazing to Dean. But he’s beginning to think Selina is a glutton for punishment.

The bacon sizzled in the cast iron pan. Selina explained why Dean was still walking on four legs instead of two. “So, even though the magic worked and Esme’s on the mend, I should probably have bound your reversal spell in with that enchantment to speed things along. You would have been human by the time the full moon set this morning.” She fished a couple pieces of bacon out of the pan with a fork and laid them atop some paper towels. “I’m pretty sure it’ll wear off by tomorrow. If it doesn’t, Harold said he’ll come by and see what he can do. He doesn’t want to leave Esme yet. I’ll ask one of the other witches if you can’t wait, though.”

Dean knew that Selina trusted Harold almost as much as Esme. The other witches in the group were fickle and not the kindest to Selina, from what Dean saw firsthand. Witches, man. Dean trotted over and sat by one of Selina’s legs. He rubbed his face along her smooth calf. She looked even younger in her sleep shorts and t-shirt. Still massive, though.

“I will, Dean. I’ll eat crow for my mistake. You’ve done more than anyone would’ve for someone they don’t even know.”

A friend of Dad’s doesn’t get left behind. It’s cool, Selina. How about some bacon to smooth things over?

“What does that whine mean?”

He raised up onto his haunches and leaned front paws on the oven door.

“Oh, bacon. Right.”

The rest of the day is easy, lazy. A day he hasn’t felt in a while. Not since Sammy left him.

The days without his brother have brought out more of the hard lines and jagged points in John’s countenance. Deep down, Dean wants to hope it’s not him bringing that out in their father. That it’s the void, the empty spot that used to contain Sam that no longer filters out the hate and hurt; that used to misdirect all that drill sergeant behavior. His little shit of a sibling was all of John’s fervent focus of protection for so long. Dean sees it plain as day. John doesn’t know what to do with all his feelings. So he bottles them up. Drinks them away. Or spats them out at Dean, chipping away at him.

Dean has been coping with his feelings as best as John. Realizing he’s handling the broken compass in his core the same way. Nose down. Find a job. Work the case. Kill the monster. Fill the despair with a win. Fill the despair with booze. Inflict rage on any other to empty out the despair. Stoke passion in any other to empty out the despair.

Anything and everything to kick the can down the line. Because he’s realized - Sam was his hope and lifeline as much as he was dad’s. And, without him, well, he doesn’t really know what’s left.

He’s been tossed a lifeline here and there when he’s built up the nerve to call Sam at Stanford—only a handful of times over the past couple of years. The knots and twists in his stomach unfurled when Sam picked up the phone. Accepted and acknowledged his presence. That he’s still here, he remembers he has a brother. Even when that brother had to risk the wrath of John if he ever found out a connection was made.

But this day, wrapped in fur, small, and defenseless, he’s reminded of what could be left for him. Selina softened around him in his puppy form. Her smiles widened. She shined sweet and gentle. 

They holed up in the apartment for safety. Scampered out to the backyard for potty breaks and played fetched with a tennis ball. It’s the sunniest day he’s felt in years. Warm. Light. Clear. Fresh.

It’s the snuggles at the end of that day that he loved the best. Allowed entry into Selina’s bedroom. Allowed to hop onto the mattress and curl atop the crushed velvet comforter. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, Dean. No one gets to spend the night in my bed.”

He pushed in close, nuzzled into the layers that separated their bodies. Her energy - different, charged, holding what he thinks is potential magic - gives him comfort.

He slept like a baby.

“Oh! Dean!” Selina screamed. 

Dean eyes popped open. 

He’s chilly. 

Bigger.

He’s back.

He’s naked.

“Shit!” Dean barked out in his human voice. He glanced at Selina's side of the bed. An upheld hand shielded her view. A racing heart matched the speed of his legs swinging off the bed, standing up.

But he doesn’t have a fucking clue where his clothes are.

Selina pointed to the bedroom door, still not daring to look at him. “Living room. Side table, by the chair.” She squeaked.

He fled the scene, spotted his folded clothes. Faster than a cowboy caught fooling around with a farmer’s daughter, he donned his underwear, t-shirt, and jeans. He called out, “All clear. Nothing more to see here!” His cheeks blazed with humiliation under his attempt at nonchalance.

Selina crept through the doorway. Cheeks red and flamed. Excited, amused, and happy. Remnants of the smiles bestowed upon him yesterday in his canine form. “You’re back,” she sighed.

Dean outstretched his arms for display purposes. “I’m back.”

“How do you feel? Any different? Weird?”

He stopped to actually think, taking a moment to process. “Um, kind of hungover.”

Selina nodded, exhaled. “Okay. That’s normal, from what I’ve been told.”

Dean chuckled. “Nothing normal about this.”

“For us, it is.” Selina corrected.

Selina doesn’t skimp on the bacon for breakfast.

The celebratory feast tasted sublime, well-earned. He was starving.

Sat around the small bistro table, they talked as they ate. Their conversations before the spell had been curt, filled with sass. Selina had snapped at him with every one of her responses. He’d understood, of course. Even if he hadn’t given her an inch of understanding in his smart-ass attitude. She’d been under immense pressure. The stakes were high, and the outcome relied heavily on her ability not to screw up.

Man, did he understand.

Now, they’d both mellowed with the shared experience. Relief. Success. Dean cataloged every inch of her. Human eyes took in all the vibrant colors hidden from his doggie view. Her purple eyes and porcelain skin held an ethereal quality. A tad punk with violet highlights and a nose ring. She was beautiful.

“What was it like?” Selina dolloped more scrambled eggs on his plate. She leaned in, hanging on his every morsel of information.

“Man,” Dean snorted. “Trapped in a funhouse mirror, with none of the fun.”

“But, you still felt like you?”

“Yep.” He chomped away on a strip of bacon.

“You understood me,” she stated. “I could tell.”

He tilted his head in question.

Selina giggled. “Yeah, you’d give me one of those expressions like you were thinking things over. Wanting to communicate.”

“Hmmm,” Dean nodded. Lips smacked. He wanted to ask in a way that didn’t make it seem like he was overly concerned about the answer. “I know you said there wasn’t any telepathic stuff going on… you couldn’t read any of my thoughts?”

Her head shook, matter of fact. “Not a one. Which would have been super helpful if I could’ve. You typically can’t get that kind of bond or connection at my level. And, more often than not, that’s pretty rare. A familiar type situation.”

He chewed his thoughts down.

“I wouldn’t have pulled off the reversal spell that cured Esme if it hadn’t been for your plan.” Selina sipped her coffee.

Dean cocked his head, emphasizing the ridiculousness of that statement. “You would’ve figured something out.”

“Not as quick as I needed to.” Selina shook her head. “Not without your help. Making it so that the reversal spell had to be performed by the greenest of Esme’s students and without any coven assistance… the priestess wanted it to be next to impossible.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help.”

Selina grinned. “Even with fleas?”

Dean shivered. “Yeah, that I could’ve done without.”

“I’m glad you came back all in one piece. I was really worried there would be some pet residue. Like a tail or floppy ears.”

“I don’t know,” Dean contemplated. “A tail might come in handy.”

The thought had them both laughing.

“So,” Selina began, “any chance that brother you mentioned, Sam, is gonna find out about any of this?”

“No way. Not ever.” Dean shook his head.

“Well, I hope you get to see him soon. The way you talk about him. He seems like a pretty great guy. I don’t think he’d tease you too much about being a beagle.”

“You don’t know, Sam.” Dean almost added he probably didn’t know him anymore, either, but pursed his lips shut. 

“I owe you, big time.” Selina offered.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, you do.”

“Well, I should get dressed and we should go out. Let me take you on a proper tour of New-or-lins.” Selina drawled, “Laissez les bons temps rouler.”

Dean swallowed hard and locked eyes with her. “I don’t know. We could probably just stay in and find some ways to let the good times roll.”

Selina side-eyed him, but Dean sensed the interest brewing underneath the show. “Didn’t you say you’d rather roll around in the mud with a pig than ingratiate yourself with a witch when we first met?”

He shrugged. “I think I can make an exception for you.”

Selina held a hand to her chest. “I’m honored.”

He grinned. “You should be.”

The moment was perfect for Dean to lean over and kiss her.

Of course, that’s when John called.

John needed him. There was no time for a tour of the French Quarter or even a half hour of good times in Selina’s apartment.

Dean stood at the door and waited as Selina packed him a breakfast sandwich for the road. “Don’t you think you’ve fed me enough?”

She waved a hand in the air, walking towards him. “Hard to tell. You never stop eating.”

He grabbed the bag she presented. “Thanks.”

“It’s the very least I could do. Thank you again, Dean.”

Instinctively, he wrapped her up in a hug. “Anytime.”

She whispered in his ear. “Next time you swing by, look me up.”

He breathed in the scent of her - wanting something else to remember her by - and placed a kiss atop her forehead. Anything more and he knew he’d never leave. “Absolutely.”

It wasn’t until he descended the stairs and was out the back door, away from Selina’s view, that he gave into the urge to paw at his ear like a dog.

Yeah, the next time he called Sam - which he felt would be soon - there was no way he was telling him about any of this.

Well, he might mention the beautiful witch he met in New Orleans with the purple eyes. And how she had been just the thing he needed to scratch that itch.

[felassan]

Jon Renish (Foundation Technical Director @ BioWare, working on DA4) recently did a Twitch stream where he played through some DAO. Although he works on DA, this is his first time playing through DAO. He’s playing through it looking at random details from a dev perspective as he’s currently working on DA4 and therefore wants to know more about the previous games.

On the stream he mentioned some tidbits on the development of DA4. There were also some insights and anecdotes about the development of DAO and similar. It’s a 3 hour stream so I collected them here in case that’s of use to anyone (for example not everyone can watch streams which don’t have subtitles/captions). The stream is a fun/interesting watch though, so if you’re curious or able to watch I recc doing so. 😊 The rest of this post is under a cut for length.

Please note that there’s some paraphrasing on my part, this is not a transcript.  There are also some additions from another dev who featured on the stream to give some commentary. The stream also contains more snippets that at times I couldn’t make out (I tried my best!).

(There is a mention of Cullen’s VA in the text below.)

DA4

Jon said he can talk about things about DA4 that aren’t “consumer-facing”, but he can’t say anything about the game that would be consumer-facing but which isn’t already publicly available. There are several reasons for this. One, that’s not his job, there are people whose job this is and they let each other do their respective roles. Two, BW are a publicly-traded company, so if he said something that could affect that that would be insider trading. Three, they’re not done making DA4 yet, so if he said that they have added [x] to the game and people got all excited about that or pre-ordered on that basis, but [x] ended up being cut, people would be like ‘BioWare lied to us’, when it’s just that things changed during the course of development, as is often the case

He’s glad that fans are excited for the game but notes that fan expectations are always double-edged. It can be really tough as some people started ‘playing’ the game in their heads as soon as they heard of it. That’s fine, he loves that, but he hopes that peoples’ expectations don’t turn into requirements. Clearly BW have alluded to certain characters, like Solas, being in the game, but some fans say things like “If [say] Morrigan isn’t in the game, then, rahhh!” Y’know, there’s a lot of talk about how certain characters have to be in the game, and yeah.

On characters which are quantum (i.e. characters which can die or which can have similar end-states as death in previous games): their being quantum makes it really hard for the devs to work with those characters in subsequent games. The devs naturally aren’t going to put as much effort into characters which could have died previously. A character can have had an amazing appearance throughout/role in a previous game, but if there is a risk of something happening to them and of them being removed [effectively] from the plot, it just doesn’t make sense to have them as a major character in a subsequent game. If a character can, say, sacrifice themselves in some glorious ending, the devs have to make sure that if they use them again, in worldstates where the character didn’t do that, the character is kind of ‘muted’, as the devs don’t want to disrespect the players who made a different choice

A comment in chat expressed a wish for Shale in DA4. Jon’s response is that he has no idea on that front

Bugs don’t come out of crunch, they come out of development in general. Crunch does impact on the quality of a game though. In recent years BW are always really trying to reduce crunch, they’re currently working really hard to bring it down. The best way of doing that is by controlling scope. As creatives it’s tough to balance wanting to make great stuff and be industry-leading with the desire to constantly do extra passes over things they’ve created like the audio, art etc. Their biggest enemy is time, other ways of reducing crunch or time spent in general include iterating tools to make often-repeated processes as time-efficient as possible

I think the following was an observation on the industry in general as opposed to a BW-specific/-exclusive comment: he thinks that as a result of this sort of thing [working to reduce crunch], a lot of games are going to have to be smaller and a lot more focused in scope i.e. the devs will have to focus on hitting the key selling points of that particular game/series as hard as they can, and cut down on branching out sideways/wide on a bunch of random other stuff

Jon doesn’t personally engage in character creators in games, but he knows that for some players that expression is worth a lot of time and focus. BW want to be industry-leading in this kind of stuff as it’s something which is interesting/key/integral to their games

In a way BW have made their own nest of problems what with every DA game being so different to the previous one. Still, he notes that each game has a staunch fanbase that says that their particular favorite game is the best one in the series

He doesn’t want people who think that DA4 isn’t what they want to buy it and be upset - there are so many other great games out there! BW are going to make the game they’re going to make - if some people like it, that’s great, and if some people don’t, that’s cool. Sometimes waiting until reviews are out and/or really seeing beforehand if a game is something that you want [has things/features in it that you want] prior to getting it - as opposed to jumping right in or pre-ordering - is a good idea. Fans don’t always know what they want, but they do know what they like - these are 2 different things

He hopes that whatever they ship for DA4, people go “I enjoyed this experience”, and that then, if there’s additional content for it down the road, people can decide, “do I want this further content?”

On hair: BW are using the new hair technology in the latest version of the Frostbite engine, so they’ll see what they can do! This was said in response to a comment about the hair in the latest FIFA games (as EA make FIFA)

A comment in chat asked about a flying mechanic (griffons). Jon’s response is that flying is such a heavy gameplay mechanic that you can’t put it in a game without everything in the game being built about it (see Anthem)

Relating to the above comment, in DA4 mounted combat would be cool but then they’d have to make the game ‘around’ mounted combat and make the mounted combat feature meaningful

On the underwater concept art: it should not be interpreted as a promise of gameplay. BW have amazing artists who sit down for a couple weeks while they’re in early production and just draw loads and loads of all kinds of stuff. Concept art is like a moodboard or Pinterest board. Elsewhere in the stream he advised, take all the concept art together like a mosaic and ask, ‘what is the overall theme[s] here?’, and to zoom out from individual details. [This stuff echoes PW’s word on concept art]

BW don’t generally write things or the choices as bleak as the choices in DAO were anymore. This is a conscious choice on their part, they want their game to be fun [note: this was said when the side quest in Orzammar where the Warden has the option of convincing a dwarven mother to abandon her young baby to die was being played through. It seems to refer to intensively grimdark choices/beats of this kind]

I think this was more of a general comment on games: SSDs (solid state drives) mean that players will see shorter elevator rides (Mass Effect - was this a reference to the remaster?) and fewer switchback corridors (those are actually loading zones). Generally, these are going to change mechanically the time it takes to do stuff in games

The devs have lots of features on their backlog that they’d like to offer players but each will ofc involve implementation and subsequent maintenance, and each one that is chosen to add is being chosen over something else. And sometimes, it’s hard for them to tell if [x] feature or [y] feature would be better to add to the game

They’re about to work on a giant feature (a pure tooling feature, something that isn’t consumer-facing) that is probably going to take ~2 staff years of effort [I think “staff effort” includes multiple staff working concurrently, so 2 years of staff effort doesn’t = 2 years of time chronologically] to get done in the next few months. They’re investing all this effort across the people working on it because they don’t want their artists and designers etc to have to deal with the problem that it’s going to solve anymore. I’m not sure what this feature is but elsewhere in the stream they referred to tooling and automation and gave the example of, the better your tooling is, the fewer times you have to manually set the camera for a human vs elf vs dwarf position, for dynamically-generated [cinematic?] content and for the first pass to be automated (if this is the case, less time is spent/wasted on redoing it and manually touching it up) [see last bullet point in this section]

He doesn’t know how big DA4 is going to be but said “let’s ballpark and say like most games it’ll be somewhere between 70 and 100 GB”

If we kept our Wardens as the PC throughout all 3 games, at the end they would be so powerful that it’d be a bit like “Let’s just do [thing], I’ve killed gods before, whatever”. He thinks it’s good that they have fresh characters each time in DA in order to reset that power level. Some people want more Commander Shepard in the next Mass Effect and he feels like, ‘what else could you possibly want / what else could that character possibly do after 3 games?’

When asked how much freedom he/they have now to focus on next gen, he said that there’s actually almost no difference on that front. The problems never change. They now have better renderers, better ray-tracing, better graphics cards etc, but they have always made DA games for high- and low-spec PCs, so it’s actually about gameplay systems. The freedom isn’t power-based and them getting access to more cores and more RAM generally isn’t going to change how the games are played. The games still have to be made for hard drives on PC. Dev creativity matters more than power here. The challenge of building a BW game is more about/from managing loads of different plotstates, loads of different art pieces, etc

On the title situation (two): names are the last thing they worry about because names have to go through legal before being approved. Every name, including character names, has to be checked in case it’s a famous person, or associated with something bad, or offensive in a different language due to localization etc

They don’t do face scans of people with big beards

There was also a bit about changes/developments to/in the cinematic design process and associated tooling [?] but I found it too hard to follow sorry >< This bit of commentary begins at timestamp ~ 1:52:45 and continues til ~ 2:00:05 [keep listening through the bit where they pause for a cutscene]

General BW

There’s currently ~350 staff in Edmonton, ~200 in Austin and more elsewhere

He notes that DA games sell pretty well, but relative to EA games in general, they’re a drop in the bucket compared to FIFA

DAI

5% of players of DAI never created a character [Q: does this refer to people who just used the default appearances/presets with no editing, or people who only played multiplayer?]

The mounts don’t actually go faster than running, this is an illusion

I think they said it has 55,000 lines of dialogue. [I’m pretty sure I remember devs elsewhere saying it has 80,000 lines of dialogue]

One of the companions had to have their name changed during development because of legal/translation reasons. It sounds like the original name sounded too close to something offensive

DA2

Back when DA2 was internally code-named “Nug Storm”: this was at the beginning when it was pitched to the team on a set of slides. The image on the slide for that pitch had devil horns, a metal hand and no flesh, it was just made out of fire and flames

DAO

The engine DAO is made on is the third engine that they tried for it during development. [David Gaider has gone into the DAO engine stuff some on Summerfall’s series of DAO playthrough streams]

The cracks on the cracked eluvian asset are modelled after the crack on the Tardis in Doctor Who from around that time, as at the time some devs had been talking about Doctor Who a lot. A dev actually added this factoid to DAO’s entry on TV Tropes but someone else (evidently not a DA dev) came by and deleted it saying that it was too much of a stretch x)

Before the game had its name there was an HTML script that randomly generated possible titles for consideration, it adds verbs and nouns together e.g. “Grim Dark”. One of the craziest possibilities that it once generated that the devs always remember is "Bone Wind”

One of the portraits that’s used for decoration around the world in-game (it’s of a bearded human man) is actually of a specific BW staff member

He played through Stone Prisoner, where Wilhelm’s son Matthias gives exposition in the cellar. Matthias is voiced by GE and this had been pointed out to Jon earlier on. Jon: “I don’t think that character’s voice acting was super strong there”

On the in-game area towards the end of Stone Prisoner: Outdoor areas in games are large and one of the things needed for them is streaming, so different chunks can be ‘streamed in’. There’s a tower [?], and technically the top of the tower was made an outdoor level so that sky stuff could be there, though it didn’t really need to be. The person that made it an outdoor level chose the very smallest chunk size for the terrain mesh, which determines how fine of a streaming they do. So when playing, every time you moved like 4 meters, the game would stream out 50-100 chunks behind you and the same in front of you (this is the bubble around the player of what actually exists). Because it was so small, it was constantly thrashing the CPU and disc to do all the loading. The devs were like “this isn’t going to work”, but they barely had any time. The solution: they made a new level that was outdoor and copied all the sunlight and other settings, but with the largest chunk size. They copy-pasted the entire level from one to the other. The problem with that many chunks then is that there was a giant expanse of flat terrain sticking out of the middle of the tower. They didn’t know if the story was going to involve shots of the outside of the tower for this sequence or not, so they took the terrain deformation tool and bundled all the terrain vertices at the bottom of the tower in a giant clump. So to this day there’s a mess of vertices and twisted terrain at the bottom of the final level that probably no-one has ever seen [not sure though if this anecdote is in reference to a place in that DLC or somewhere elsewhere in the game?]

There were also some tidbits on Anthem, however I didn’t note them down (sorry).

If you think I misheard or misunderstood anything from this stream please let me know and I will edit/fix it. :) 

(Thankyou to some of my friends who explained a tech detail from this to me.)

[source]  <-- current rewatch link

[foryourownbosom]

You’re amazing, can you teach me how you’re so good with art? Also hi I guess

hi dear !! sorry for replying to this just now, how are you? <3

first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH??? HDHDKF its so sweet of you to say that ����💕 i am still on the process of learning things and there are sooo many aspects of drawing that i still have to improve on and don't master quite well (& i tend to have periods of time when im honestly very unhappy with the things i do) so i really appreciate the compliment :"))💖 having said that i am by no means a professional so ofc this is all gonna be 100% limited advice from what i personally learned from drawing and not actually a serious teaching, its up to you if it helps you ofc !

so from my personal experience, the thing that helped improve efficiently over time and get where i am now is to primarily have fun experimenting with my art and not stress out a lot about getting the whole Serious Technical Aspects™️ right from the beginning (e.g color theory, values, anatomy, perspective, etc). now; while you do have to practice these things in order to improve of course, focusing *only* on those aspects head first without actually enjoying the art you are making will eventually end on frustration, feeling stuck, and a burnt out phase. these things will naturally flow and eventually get better with time as you keep drawing consistetly and practicing, so make sure to enjoy it in the meantime!

i like thinking of drawing as smth similar to learning an instrument. if you only and primarily focus on practicing scales and pure technique and never play any songs for fun, you are going to improve yeah, but it will feel tedious over time. mixing learning songs with a bit of technique here and there, or maybe a particular scale in order to learn a song's riff will not only make it fun and enjoyable but the process is gonna feel lighter, quicker and much more effective. with drawing and art in general, i think it's pretty much the same.

pick something specific from art you want to improve on and apply it to something you like. do you wanna learn how to draw clothes folds? you can look up references pictures of the particular piece of clothing you want to study and apply that practice with an oc of yours or fanart of someone you love. color theory maybe? pick a scene from a movie or painting you like and study the way they picked those colors, what do they represent, and maybe even use that color palette as a way of practicing for your own drawings. never be afraid of using lots of references and art (they are your friends and highly important!) as a way of inspiration and as tools for improving, that's going to help millions too . watching many youtube videos of lessons and advice of professional artists of various art topics also helped me a lot! just do anything that you feel is gonna help you make the process enjoyable- you are learning things as you go while you are also having fun in the meantime !

and finally, with all of this in mind, give it time and patience! do it at your own pace, little by little, not diving into everything, all at once. any little practice you do counts in the big scheme of your art journey, it will get better with time and you will get good at it, i promise . it seems easy to put all of these things down, but it took me years of doodling and doodling to get where i am and i still don't consider myself an expert because there are more things i don't know or dont have experience with, than what i do have.

in conclusion, and to sum everything up, i think the key to "get good" and improving is to pick little specific things to practice over time (whither that be anatomy, color, etc) and mix it with something you love so the learning process is more efficient and fun. and give it time and patience. one day you are gonna look back at it and realize that compared to lets say a year ago, your art actually got so much better !

i hope this helps you !!! (and sorry if this was a bit of a long and chaotic answer JSJJD im just. putting all of my train of thoughts out here) this advice is something that im still struggling to incorporate for myself and i'm trying to follow it more often, as i've found that during the times that im not pressuring myself that much and allow myself to have fun, its like the process speeds up a lot .

again, thank you so much for the compliment and im very happy to know you like what i do!! i hope this advice helps you somehow <3💕💕💕

[everyonesfavoritelesbowrites]

RATLD Headcanons pt. 4

Fears and insecurities

Raya and Namaari both have nightmares of the betrayal in Heart.

During those six years, Namaari can't remember a night where she didn't have a nightmare. Almost all of them of the betrayal.

Having to be careful, Raya learned to sleep very lightly. The smallest amount of noise will make her spring into action. So she didn't get into deep sleep often, but whenever she did she would get nightmares as well.

While Namaari's dreams were mostly focused on her betraying Raya and it going a bit too far. Raya's dream were of her Ba or Namaari going too far.

With more interactions with each other throughout the years came more dreams

Namaari would have dreams where in a fight one would kill the other. Raya would dream similarly, but a lot of them would focus around the Druun.

Raya has many dreams of the Druun getting her, (sometimes getting Namaari but she didn't understand why it got her all worked up).

Namaari would sometimes dream of Fang's famine 100% worse and watching everyone die while she lives in Luxury. (Although she also grew up with not enough food, leaving her a malnourished child)

After the event in Spine, Namaari consistently dreams that she kills Raya instead of Sisu intervening.

She also had dreams of killing Sisu and Sisu not coming back or she would come back and blame her\revenge.

Raya dreams of the fight in Fang's throne room where instead she didn't hesitate and kills Namaari.

Raya also has a hard time sleeping in an actual bed once everything is back to "normal". She's so use to sleeping in trees or caves or against TukTuk that it's accutally too soft.

Raya also wakes up constantly, worried she'll be Druun food or just hearing the smallest noise.

One day she just can't take it anymore and goes for a walk, where she runs into Namaari who looks like she's having a panic attack.

"What are you doing out here, princess Undercut- woah, are you okay?"

They end up telling the other about their dreams and how the beds are too soft for Raya and somehow they end up in the same bed having the best sleep they have ever had.

If they are together it just becomes an unspoken routine where they will sleep together to have a peaceful nights sleep.

They almost always end up in each other's arms but they don't talk about that

Chief Virana and Chief Benja thinking they are sleeping together, like sleeping sleeping together and are surprised when they find out they aren't even dating yet

They wake up when the other has a nightmare and comfort them.

"You're okay."

"Just breath."

"I'm still alive, see? You didn't have the guts to actually kill me."

"Look at me."

"Do you need to go for a walk?"

"We can talk to Sisu if you want."

Raya wonders why Namaari's room is so... empty so she tries to ask her in a way where she can just play it off as a joke if Namaari gets uncomfortable

But Namaari tells her

Namaari tries to not get sentimental to any objects because she's afraid she'll lose them and the events that happened after giving her Sisu necklace to Raya haunt her.

She keeps any sentimental items she gets stored safely away so she won't lose them. It's mostly drawings kids make her or things Raya leaves behind

She also feels guilty to have such an extravagant room, to live in such luxury, when her people have a major homelessness problem. This goes side by side with her food insecurities, although she was pretty malnourished as a child.

She also thinks she deserves to be lonely, not that she already does did feel lonely, but making her room bare helps give her that feeling that she doesn't deserve anything. She thinks this is fair considering her past.

Raya is understanding but also is loosing her mind over Namaari being so hard on herself.

Raya tries to sneak some things into Namaari's room. It first disappears quickly, Namaari tucking them away for safe keeping but after a while, she tries to just let them stay.

She worries constantly, ending up just staring at whatever Raya brought in this time. Perhaps if she engraves it into her memory, she won't worry if she loses it.

It takes a while, but Namaari eventually gets to the point where she won't feel sick not putting things away. She can just let it be with only a few thoughts of worry.

Raya becoming comfortable enough to sleep through the smallest of sounds, but she's never going to not wake up to sounds, it's just too engraved into her.

Namaari smiling when Raya doesn't wake up from a small bird outside the window.

A storm comes around one night in Heart when Namaari is visiting. Raya wakes up from a loud boom of thunder and finds Namaari literally shaking.

Namaari is scared of Thunderstorms, or more specifically loud noises send her into panic.

She has trained herself to not panic when there's a single or just a few loud noise/s, but if it's consistent she just can't handle it.

Raya, unable to sleep anyway, comforts Namaari and tries to distract her.

"We could spar."

"I can ask Sisu if her brother can make it stop."

"Tell me about the things you learned about Dragons as a kid."

"Remember when [moment]?"

"When I was 15, I [tells crazy story]."

"Let's go get [Serlot name], I bet she'd love to cuddle!"

"What do you think makes the noise of thunder?"

"Hey, I thought you weren't scared of anything, dep la. How can I make you flinch like that?"

"I wish I was the one making you shake like that." "What?" "Nothing! Tell me about your cat!"

"Under the blankets, Undercut."

"Shut up thunder!"

Namaari not seeing Raya eat any food when she comes to Fang and asking who made a dish when she's in Heart.

Sisu mentions something about poison and it just clicks.

Namaari hands Raya a dish in Fang, taking her own bite right in front of her first. "Just checking for poison."

After a few times of doing this, Raya ends up confessing to being posioned when she was 13. Namaari understands and keeps tasting food for her and even starts cooking for them right in front of her.*

"Don't forget to check for poison." "Of course, dep la."

"I didn't take you for a cook, let alone a good one." "It's better than your Jackfruit jerky, that's for sure."

Namaari admits to refusing to eat meals given to her unless she pays, otherwise she has to make it herself.*

Raya telling her that she paid for foods in Heart for Namaari, even if it's a slight lie. She's the princess, she kinda gets whatever she wants.*

Namaari paying Boun after they watch him cook for them

Raya gets separation anxiety, worrying that her Ba turned to stone again although it's not posible. She even worries for Namaari but she won't admit to that

Namaari reminds her that her Ba is fine and it helps

Her Ba also comforting her about it ofc

"If anyone will turn to stone, it'll probably be me not your Ba." this doesn't help but she won't tell Namaari she has dreamt of her being stone as well

Namaari accidentally hurting Raya during a Spar and she like breaks. She refuses to talk to her and avoids her because she feels horrible and it reminds her of Spine and Fang's Throne room.

Raya ends up cornering her and is afraid she did something wrong but Namaari admits that she's beating herself up for hurting her and Raya's heart swells and breaks at the same time.

"I've done worse to myself."

"It's literally nothing."

"It won't even scar."

Raya also hates to hurt Namaari.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry! Here, get me so it's fair!"

"I didn't mean to, I swear."

"If it does scar, it'll look sexy..." "What?" "I mean awesome, it'll look awesome. You're not sexy at all."

Raya notices Namaari acting strange around Sisu and asks about it. Namaari explains how whenever she looks at Sisu or even hears her or someone mentions her, the memory of shooting her replays in her head. She explains how she has nightmares about it and hates herself for it.

Raya comforts her by explaining how it wasn't her fault, or at least not entirely. Raya admits how she should have trusted Sisu.

"It's all in the past, we can't do anything about it, Namaari."

"I feel like I have to make it up to her... to everyone." "You literally saved the world but go all out I guess."

Raya stages an "intervention" for Namaari, bringing Sisu to talk to her so they both can make it better for Namaari.

"Don't you hate me?" "No! Why would I!?"

"I don't hold it against you, Namaari."

"What can I do to make it up to you?" "You don't have to do anything! You already saved the world!"

"Well... You could hang out with me more often."

Afterwords, the tension is much better but it takes a bit longer for Namaari to really open up with Sisu.

Namaari also ends up taking with Chief Benja about trying to take the gem. He's too understanding.

"I understand if you despise me, Chief Benja." "I don't."

"If I was in your position, I would have probably done the same to be honest..."

"If I had known your nation was in famine..."

"I don't blame you, it would have happened either way. It was just simply a matter of who and when."

Namaari only feeling intimidated by three people. Her mother, Chief Benja, and Sisu. Maybe Raya when they were fighting but not anymore.

Raya having issues letting people in. Mostly on instinct.

She gets defensive immediately.

"Why do you [add something here]?" "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy Benturi." *Silence* "I'm sorry, [explains]."

"Dewdrop, what have you been up to?" "None of your business- fuck, i'm sorry, Ba. I was sparring with Namaari."

"Are you okay?" "Who cares?" "...... I do?" "Right, sorry, I'm good."

"Where did you get that scar?" "Minding my own fucking business- I mean, I tripped on a rock accutally." *Namaari still processing*

Raya eventually gives in but it takes a while and a lot of comfort from Namaari and sisu but whatever

*I elaborated on this before

[oksana-moods]

Ghost of you - Part 1

Summary: This story begins before CAWS and will develop following the movies. Our OFC was being held by Hydra, who is trying to create a new super soldier. She has a past, which will haunt her untill it comes to bite her. Slow burn. Plus, the title is a song from My Chemical Romance and brings a lot of ofc’s point of view; I was inspired by a lot of songs and I’m sure you’ll recognize a few. Trigger warnings: Violence, bad language, angst. If you find any other, I’ll be glad to add.

“And I remember now, at the top of my lungs in my arms she dies At the end of the world, or the last thing I see.”

Pain.

It’s all void, but pain.

Pain.

It’s like a faint light in the back of my mind telling me to move, but it hurts.

It’s too much.

I feel lightheaded while I slowly drift into consciousness, and it hurts.

Pain.

I become aware that I am laying in the cold ground, I just don’t know where, I can’t remember. I try to turn to the right, but the sharp pain on my left says to me that I broke one rib or two, maybe more. But how?

What am I doing here? Where is here?

I can feel a split on my lip, my cheek has a gash and when I rise my left hand, I see something like a metal glove. Wait. I try to move to have a better look at it…

Pain.

I curse under my breath; my chest is heavy.

I try to look at my hand again. With shaky breath, I realize that I’m not looking at a glove. My whole forearm, from right below my elbow to the tip of my fingers, it’s all made of cold metal. What. The. Fuck??

I gasp. When did this happen? I had two perfect flesh arms, didn’t I?! Why can I remember what happened to me? I lay my head back on the ground and close my eyes. I try to search, but that is nothing to grasp on my mind, I can’t remember a thing. It’s all gone. I take a deep breath and I try harder, try to think of something, anything at all…

And then, like seeing a movie scene from a foggy screen, it’s hard, confusing even, I see a woman. Of course, I don’t know who she is, but it’s something, at least. I’m outside a… bar? A Club? I’m not sure. I am looking at a blond woman, she gives me a wide grin, takes the key from my left hand (oh my, I knew it, is a flesh hand), climbs the motorcycle in front of us. After she turns the engine on, she motions for me to climb as well. Without missing a beat, I am hugging her waist and then we go. Who is this woman? What happened to my arm? To me? I need more answers, I need to dig further, I need more memories. I feel tired, but I push it away. I search, dig throughout the emptiness of my brain…

And here it comes, another flash of foggy memory, will it be the same wo…? Before I could finish, I see myself standing on some sort of park. I’m looking at such pretty little girl wearing a red shirt, her hair is everywhere trying to ride a bike. I feel myself smiling at her. ‘Look at me, I am doing it!’ She laughs and I feel my heart so light at that moment. ‘Yes, you are, sweetie’. I smile back at her as she comes to hug me. ‘Thanks for teaching me, aunt L..’

No. No, no, no, come back. Arg! I needed that information. She was about to say a name. With a grunt I turn to my side, this time it hurts a bit less. Guess I’m getting used to feel like shit. I blink twice, for a moment I think I passed out and started to dream, but no. I’m wide awake. I’m about to grasp a piece of memory in the back of head once again. I close my eyes and there it is… I blink twice. The shades failing in keeping the sun rays out of the room, but I can’t bring myself to care. Just when I turn to my side, a smile creeps itself into my mouth as my eyes land in the goddess laying centimeters away from me. Perfect silk skin, the most beautiful curves my eyes have ever seen. Having her this way, so bare, immaculate even and there’s nothing I wanna do but to stare in awe. Her eyes stir open. They focus on me. Holy, she’s perfect.   ‘Morning...’ She flashes a smile and my heart flutters. She brings her incredible warm hands to touch the military tag resting in my chest. I move my head to kiss her hand that are now touching my cheek. ‘I didn’t know you were wearing my former tag among yours’ She says. I kiss her hands once more before replying ‘That way I can feel you close to me. Close to my heart whenever you’re not around’. The look in her eyes could light up a hole city, priceless, so full of passion and warm and… ‘I lov…’

All I can see is darkness. I’m back to the same place I was before. Instantly missing the warm those memories brought to my chest. I try to go back to that sunny room, but to no avail. I can’t access that memory again as I realize my mind starting to drift off, to go blank. I feel nothing but pain, as darkness embrace me.

 ______________________________________________

I’m jolted awake as the door is burst open by a man wearing black tactical suit. I try to move away, but he takes three steps way too fast. He picks me up by my collar and arm with a deadly grip. Ouch, this is going to leave a bruise. He punches me in the face. Hey, what the hell. Before I can even muster some words, he says: “ready for the next session?” “wha.. what?” “what do you remember, bitch?!” “I…hm. I…  nothing. Who are you?” Another punch, and I feel a crack in my nose. Did this idiot just broke my nose? “Don’t lie to me, woman. What do you remember? Answer me. NOW!” He violently pushes me, so I hit the wall behind me… Suddenly, just like a dream, or a snap, that foggy screen is back. I’m in a doorway, looking at that blond woman again. And God, is she beautiful. She’s wearing a leather jacket that I recognize as my own. I walk towards her, within her personal space. I brush our noses when I see the corner of her lips twitch, ever so slightly, then she pushes me causing my back to hit the wall. She takes two steps. She’s so, so close that I can breathe her breath. My eyes are closed since I’m about to taste…

I’m brought back to reality by being hit square in the face again.

“Stop.” I mutter, now lying on the ground. “Ok. Ok. I remember a... a woman. A blond woman, we are…” I trail off trying to find the correct words. What are we? Who is she? “We are friends. And… And a little girl. That’s all!” I stutter out because that big Glock in his waistband is not friendly at all.

“Aaarg.” He grunts and pick me up again, pushes me to the wall once more, punches me twice and drags me out of the room, or should I say cell? After a few turns through corridors, we arrive in a room, or a lab, with very strange devices and a chair, in which he drops me and ties me, all the while smirking at me. He saw the very confused look in my face, he squats a bit so he can look me dead in the eye. “You are going to break, eventually, woman. I am going to break you. And, in the end, all you will remember is despair. Nothing, but despair.”

I probably lost my mind, or I don’t know, something in his voice made me mad. Made me burn with angry. I totally lost my mind, because I was tied in a crazy chair, in a creepy room, having my ass being beat out of me, but what did I had to lose? All I could feel was this flame in my chest, and boy, it burned. This man could have the upper hand, but I refuse to go down that easy. Next thing I knew, I was spiting blood is his face giving a very blooded grin. I was mad. “I wanna see you try, barf bag. I’m not breakable!”

Of course, his answer was another punch, and my nose did break this time. However, before he could do anything else, the man with a white coat spoke: “Sir, she’s very strong, her memories are very strong. She’s too attached to them. Is hard to erase everything without killing the subject”. Wow, now I became a subject, was this a research facility? Did I volunteer for something? No, not likely. If I had, why would they kick me, punch me and walk around with guns? I’m brought back from my reverie when the ‘doctor/scientist’ speaks again “We could use a different approach, though.” “Which is…” My ‘friend’ in black was losing his patience. I was getting under his skin; I just didn’t know if it was from today or previous encounters. “I think that, since erasing is not working just as it did with the Soldier, we could try to manipulate her memories. Put her through erasing process one more time, and then replay some specific memory, a very painful one a few rounds. It will take time, but I am sure it will be affective. The only memory she’ll have will be one that she’ll beg to forget.” My eyes went wide. I just don’t know what to think. What are these guys doing? And why are they doing it? “Well well, Doctor List, now I know why you are in the payment check.” He turns to face me. “Still think is funny, bitch? You’ll break as it seems.” I spat again, on his feet this time “I will come for you” Oh, I swear I’ll wipe his smug face with my bare hands. He smirked at me “You won’t remember who I am”. He looks at the doctor. “Go on, doc!”

Apparently, this was what the doctor was waiting for. He turned on a few devices and pressed some buttons in the computer whilst I saw and felt some sort of slab, better yet, a helmet closing around in my head. The doctor pressed my cheeks so I’d open my mouth and he could shove a plastic mouthguard inside it. I was about to spat it when he calmly said, “I think is better for you to keep it.”

Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could prepare me for the excruciating pain that I instantly felt when the machine sent electric shock waves to and through my brain, through me.

I must’ve screamed, because I saw the man in black smiling.

Pain. Why are they doing this? I can’t hurt anymore.

Pain.

___________________________________________

I was leaning on the kitchen counter facing the blond woman once again. However, this time I’m feeling a pang in my chest when I look at her eyes. ‘I need to go. This time I think will be longer’. She says and I sigh looking away ‘Then, what are you still doing here?’ It’s her turn to sigh ‘Please, you can’t make me choose between my heart and my responsibilities’. Oh, that line lights a flame inside my heart. ‘I am not. There is nothing to choose. Not now, anyway.’ She throws her hands in the air ‘Why… dammit. Why are you being this cold, this heartless?’ Pain and rage are doing this crazy mix inside me. She has the nerve… Why is she mad? She doesn’t have the right to. She is the one leaving. I grit my teeth ‘Me, I’m being heartless? How long do you think we could keep playing house, pretending… dreaming that I am important, that I’m good enough? You said yourself, you have your responsibilities and there’s nothing I can do. So, forgive me if I am being a bit too cold right now. I’m just trying to protect what’s left from my heart.’ Now, that was a deep cut. But I can’t withdraw my words, if she’s hurting so am I. Right now, she’s standing right next to the door. Hands on the doorknob, but it feels like she’s squeezing my heart. Maybe, because she is. We lock eyes, and all I can see is sadness in those brown pools. ‘It’s not easy for me either, you know’.  She gives me a humorless smile. I had to close my eyes to brace myself for what’s coming next. The final strike, the final hit to shatter the remaining pieces. ‘Guess we are too good at goodbyes, by now’. All I can hear is the door closing and I refuse to open my eyes and face the empty house, the truth. Because opening my eyes is realizing, is to accept the reality. She’s gone. For good this time. She’s right. I am used to goodbyes, way too much for my liking. Pain. I feel some shock waves again in the back of my mind.

Pain.

I have a helmet in my hand and I’m walking towards a chopper. ‘Hey.’ I look up to see the beautiful blond waving and smiling at me. She’s wearing a green flight suit, climbing into some sort of fighter, but this one is different. I smile back ‘Have a nice flight, Cap’, before climbing on my chopper and taking-off. After a few minutes, the radio goes off with the blond’s voice ‘mayday, mayday’. All I can hear is some distress sound. I try to respond but there’s no reply. I look down to the TCAS’s screen and I see her fighter descending way too fast to be good. Tracing a path to where the fighter is headed, I turn the chopper and go as fast as possible. Not long till I see the fighter’s right wing on fire. ‘C’mon C’mon’ I said to myself. I contact the base and tell them to send a medical support to our coordinates, but I can barely hear the response as I watch the aircraft hit the ground in a clearing. My heart drops. When I spot two forms outside the plane, I release a breath that I didn’t know I was holding ‘Son of a bitch, if she isn’t the best pilot’ I laugh to myself. I was flying over the woods, almost reaching their location, relief was washing over me, but was short lived ‘cause I see some sparks near the crash and… ‘NOOOO!’ I shout when an explosion comes from the crash. My heart stops. Truly, stops. It can’t be. No, no, no, no. ‘She can’t be gone’. Then, all I see is white.

Pain.

A helmet in my hand and I’m walking towards a chopper (What? It can’t be). ‘Hey.’ I look up to see the beautiful blond waving and smiling at me. (oh, no. Not again) She’s wearing a green flight suit, climbing into some sort of fighter. ‘Have a nice flight, Cap’ (No, stop. I cannot see it again) I hear ‘mayday, mayday’ And some distress sound. I try to respond but there’s no reply. Not long till I see the fighter’s right wing on fire. I watch the aircraft hit the ground in a clearing. (What is going on?) I see two forms outside the plane. I was almost reaching their location when I spot some sparks near the crash and… (NO. NO, PLEASE. I CAN’T WATCH HER DIE AGAIN) ‘NOOOO!’ (NOO!) I shout when an explosion comes from the crash. ‘She can’t be gone’. And then, white.

This scene, this memory, is being looped in my brain over, and over, and over. I wasn’t counting how many times. I was hurting. My heart was being ripped from my chest over, and over, and over. I was being broken from the inside out.

Pain. And I see her die again, and again, and again.

Pain. And I do nothing, but to scream again, and again, and again.

Pain. And all was left is void.

Pain. And darkness, and despair.

[erazonpo3]

Hey Erazon, I wanted to know if you've ever thought of giving Cassandra a original female love interest. Nothing against Rapunzel, but I feel like Cassandra ending up with someone else would be a little better, considering past events. Also, I thought it would be funny if there was a running gag where Cassandra finds herself simping for a particular girl in any of the locations she travels to, or vice versa, much to the jealousy of the love interest.

I know you didn’t ask for a deep dive into my character creation process but sorry that’s what you’re getting

I’ll preface my thoughts about all this by saying that first of all, I think CanonxOC ships are great fun and I’ve seen plenty of love-interest OCs for Cass who I think are really cool and my thoughts about not really wanting to go in that direction doesn’t exclude my enjoyment of other people’s OCs and the stories they want to tell. Second of all is that nobody needs to write a whole story to justify their OC’s existence and that your OC doesn’t need to appeal to anyone but yourself, but a lot of my personal enjoyment in working with original characters is integrating them into the story in a seamless way, which does mean much of my process is about creating appeal for an audience. 

So with that said, I primarily find myself wanting to meet the challenge of seeing how Rapunzel and Cassandra do come together again after the finale, and especially as their time apart would have given them a good chance to grow without being dependent on each other for that growth. It’s largely what Unions & Reunions is about, because although the plot for that story is more about the issues created by miscommunication surrounding who exactly Lio is, it’s also just the first part in the “Corona Arc” which is about examining how Cass and Raps find their feet again now that some time has passed, and how they go about overcoming obstacles now compared to before. 

Now, as for making an OC- that presents some challenges when it comes to writing one into a larger narrative! One of the difficulties I find with a Love Interest character is that, right from the get go you have to convince people that this character has good chemistry with their counterpart, they’ll need an engaging dynamic where the progression of their relationship doesn’t feel boring, and they’ll probably need an arc where them getting together feels like a satisfying resolution (all within the context of telling a story, ofc. see the preface). 

That’s not the difficult part though; the difficult part is making sure your Love Interest stands on their own two feet so that they’re not just a backdrop to the protagonist’s story. Of course, you don’t have to do that, but a solid romance always feels stronger when it’s about two individuals coming together rather than just the hero winning their Object of Affection. This is the other main reason why Cass doesn’t have a love interest in my CTA story, other than perhaps a few flings that don’t go anywhere because Cass’ only love is the road. Cass is the primary protagonist of the story of Cassandra’s Tangled Adventure, but if Cass had a Love Interest I’d probably want them to be the deuteragonist of the story. 

Now a little about Ilione and Alphecca’s concepts + development: 

Ilione fills the role of Cass’ supporting character, and was specifically created to be this foil to Cass where what she lacks in life experience and behavioural maturity she makes up for in spades with emotional maturity & insightfulness. Her being Cass’ cousin also has the dual benefit of giving them an imperative to keep a good relationship while also keeping that deep friendship in a strictly platonic place. As Cass’ more extraverted and airy foil she naturally shares a lot of similarities with Rapunzel, which I don’t think is an issue because of their contrasting strengths and weaknesses, but this would be something of an issue if Lio were instead conceptualised as a LI with no relationship to Cass, because then it’d just come across a lot like Cassunzel 2.0. 

Another thing to add here is that I definitely try to give Lio her own development and arcs throughout the story and some of it is naturally tied to Cass but because I’m not trying to sell a romance there, most of it gets to be independent of Cassandra which helps make Lio feel like her own character. She actually gets a fair bit of time developing a bond with Alphecca which ties in very nicely with the main conflict between Cass & Al, but for a Love Interest character I think you do have to justify why they’re getting more emotional development with a different character than the person they’re supposed to get with. (I'm not so conceited as to think I could launch ship wars just with my little AU, but I think this is the root of most “triangles” where there’s a clear Love Interest for the Protagonist but one of them just has more development with a different character, so different opinions arise over which would have a better romantic payoff.) 

And of course we have Alphecca, Cass’ antagonist for the first part of the CTA AU, who also exists for a foil for Cassandra but in the opposite way to Lio. Alphecca is someone who has a lot of similarities to Cass when she had the Moonstone, so she serves as a reflection for what Cass could have become if not for their few key differences. Post that arc though, Alphecca and Cass’ dynamic becomes one of rebuilding a relationship in a healthier way but I don’t think there’s enough substance there for a particularly solid romantic relationship. (Alphecca does flirt a lot but it’s part of her canon that that’s just. learned behaviour that she thinks makes people feel intimidated). 

The reason why I’ve brought all these notes about Lio and Alphecca into this is that I hope it’s clear that for at least the first arc of the story, I like to think there’s a really nice balance between Cass, Lio and Al all feeling like independent characters, but you can’t remove any of them from the story without the narrative falling apart. Then of course Cassandra comes back to Corona and the story shifts focus to her and Rapunzel’s relationship, which needs to be re-established regardless, and I find myself wondering if there’s even anywhere I could squeeze in a love interest. So that’s the main reason why it is the way it is!

anyway if you’ve read this far though I want to hear where you stand on the Lio Ship Wars 2021

[toastedbuckwheat]

Hello! May I ask how you draw? I'm currently learning how to myself and would be highly interested into a step to step process by you! Like from sketch to the done thing (no color necessary)

Hello there!

I dunno how I feel about showing how I work/giving advice to someone who’s learning (and I say it as a pro artist who went through years of traditional art education) because when I do the illustrations you see here on my tumblr I BREAK THE RULES you’d learn though life drawing routine, and give in to bad habits, and my methods are rather unplanned and chaotic which makes it difficult to pinpoint significant stages. But I used my portable potato to take some photos during working on my last piece, so I’ll throw it here with a bit of an explanation of what’s going on.

Before I begin - and because you’re about to look at a mess of a WIP - I’d like to give you some general advice that generally makes life easier when you draw (again, things that I learned in traditional arts education - another artist might advise you the complete opposite, dunno!)

Work holistically. Forget them satisfying-to-look-at clips on instagram showing someone produce a hyperrealistic portrait starting from an eye, with each and every element emerging being finished before they proceed to another part. It takes a lot of talent, yes, but these are ppl redrawing a photo in a kind of a mechanical manner. Most artists don’t work this way. Especially if you’re working without a reference, or if you’re doing a life drawing - your process will be layering and changing and finding what works best to give an impression of what you’re drawing rather than reproduce the exact image, and your artwork is likely to look messy most of the time.That said: don’t start with the details. Don’t spend too much time on a particular part while neglecting others. Your goal is to keep the whole piece at the same level of ‘finished’ (even though it’s unfinished - do I make sense?) before you’re confident that everything is where it should be and proceed to the details. So sketch out the composition first. See how things fit, what’s the dynamics. You’ll save yourself from limbs sticking out from the frame, odd proportions etc etc.

Because it’s a game of relationships between different parts of the picture/scene. I ask you not to worry about finishing a single element before laying out the rest because you’ll find that said element will look different once the other part appears! For instance - you might think that the colour you picked for a character’s hair is already very dark. But once you’re done with the night sky background, you’ll find that it’s in fact too light, and doesn’t work well with the cold palette. You’ll have to revisit different parts of the image as you go to balance these relationships and make the picture work as a whole.

Give an impression of something being there without actually drawing it ‘properly’- because details are hard, mate. You’ll see that my lineart usually has hardly any, and my colouring is large unrefined stains, but the finished thing looks convincing. Like, fuck, I can never focus on how Crowley’s eyes are really shaped. So I just turn them into large glowing yellow ellipses crossed by a line, and heard no protests so far.

Don’t panic if you messed up (you probably didn’t anyway). It might turn out to be a completely unnoticeable mistake - because, remember, things work together to balance each other, so another finished off prominent element will probably drown that badly placed line that looked so visible and out of place a second ago. 

It might not look good before it’s finished. I’m mostly immune to it after years of drawing, and my recent illustrations all follow a specific method (ykno, my sunset glow effects and all that) so I can kinda predict the next stage. But I do my linearts on a specially picked crap paper, I don’t bother erasing the smudged graphite, and it looks messy af until I make the background white in Photoshop. Conclusion: you might have a moment of doubt as you work through a piece, but try to break through it - I often suddenly start to like what I cursed a minute before! - and try to finish it even if it’s meant to be bad. This way, looking through your past pieces, you’ll see the progress. And trust me, I can’t even look at my art from literally three months ago. It’s normal.

Now, pics! The sketches are paler in real life, but I increased the contrast a little so you can see something.

1. Laying out the composition! 

I wanted to just show them kissing, but I got carried away due to some Art Nouveau inspiration. As you might have noticed, most of my illustrations are quite self-contained (ykno - they look like a sticker on a plain background). So I wanted a tight swirl bordered by Aziraphale’s wings creating a sort of rounded, yin-yang like bubble around them. Consequently I made the whole composition revolve around their heads. 

2. Adding more details to the sketch. It’s messy af. It will be messy until I’m done. It’s fine.

3. These are the fineliners I use for the linearts! They are made by Uni-ball and come in light and dark grey. I also sometimes use the guy on the left - ‘Touch’ sign pen by Pentel, when I want more brush-like, wider strokes. I work in grey because when I scan it and do my usual boring trick with sunlight highlights - which is an Overlay mode layer in Photoshop - the highlights ‘burn out’ the lines too and make them vanish a little, and the lighting effect gets more striking. I also like to use the light grey ones to make something look pencil-y without actually using pencil, because pencil fucking smudges.

4. It smudges! So because I am right handed, I start inking from the right hand side, no matter how tempted I am to do their faces first.

5. You can see the composition directions here. I made it intuitively, but ofc some ppl actually use grids etc to lay out their drawings.

6. See how pale ans thin the lineart was at first? I kept adjusting it as new inked parts were appearing. It starts to look nice and consistent now! 

7. Finished lineart? There are some mistakes which I later corrected in PS. Notice that Aziraphale’s face has hardly any details on it - I tried to make the drawing suggest his expression rather than risk overdoing it. 

8. Photoshop time!! You can totally do what I did here even if you don’t have a graphic tablet. I used Curves tool to enhance the lineart, then Quick Selection Tool to select the background around around my sticker-like piece and filled it white (on a new layer ofc). I keep this white layer on top of the layer order so it works as a mask as I colour. I decided I did not like the hatching shading underneath Aziraphale’s halo, so I erased it with a Stamp tool (because I wanna keep the textured grey fill my crap paper naturally gives me!). It’s done roughly but won’t be visible once the thing is coloured. 

9. And the reason why I keep the grey shade instead of easily getting rid of it by using Curves/Levels is because when I set this layer to Multiply mode and colour underneath, it gives me this nice desaturated look like from an old cheap paper comic page. It works as a natural filter! But of course I can’t do bright colours this way, so all my glowing highlights happen ABOVE the lineart layer - on a separate layer in Overlay mode! 

Finished thing here!

_____

Commission infoBuy Me a Coffee - help me with my transitioning expenses!Prints and stickers and things on my Redbubble!

[captain-s-rogers]

Have A Little Faith In Me

(gif credit to the creator)

Part One

Master List Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC // Clint Barton x OFC Word Count: 1,900 Warnings: none? A/N: Debuting for OC Day 2020! Here’s the first part of the rewrite of my first ever Marvel series! If you want to be added to my tag list please let me know! Feedback is cool :)

Rockefeller PR firm. Though not connected to the famed family by any means, legend had it the J.D. Rockefeller himself had hired the founding members to handle his public relations in the very early success of the family. As a show of gratitude, in addition to a substantial cash and client flow, Mr. Rockefeller had allowed the firm to use the family’s prosperous name.

Anyone who was anyone in New York City knew of and often employed Rockefeller PR. The firm put on benefit events like they were going out of style, constantly hosting galas and banquets for one charity or another. Of course, with the guest lists for the events most often restricted to Manhattan’s elite, the donations poured in left and right. The firm had reached their renowned status as the most profitable and most charitable over the years. 

In more recent years, Sophia Hawkins and Lucy Cleveland had made names for themselves as the firm’s most successful representatives. That success had given the clout they needed to swing an event entirely different from anything the firm had done in a long time -- possibly ever. 

For starters, this event wasn’t being held to raise funds for an art gallery or secure investors for a corporation. This event was being held to raise funds to donate to several different organizations that supported the US troops and veterans. Not to mention, the event was made open to the public -- another component which had never been a part of a Rockefeller PR event. The thing was 1940s USO; everyone who showed up to attend the event was required to dress accordingly and make a donation at the door, in addition to their purchased ticket, of course

Both Sophia’s and Lucy’s grandfathers had fought in World War II, which had been Sophia’s inspiration for the idea. The firm’s executives hadn’t been keen on the idea when the two women first presented it, but between the excellent publicity that would come from supporting the troops and veterans, and the girls’ track record of successful events, convincing them to endorse the event hadn’t taken but a few minutes.  

The night of the benefit arrived, with a line forming out the door a couple of hours before the designated start time. Sophia and Lucy were dressed to the nines, double checking that everything -- from the menu to the music -- was in order. The servers were dressing in period-appropriate waiter and waitress uniforms, and the trio of women singing were emulating a 1940s singing group to a T. While the musical act ran through their era-specific setlist, Sophia and Lucy shined up the finishing touches on the decor. 

“Soph!” Lucy called out across the banquet hall, “do we need to alter the table settings? Caitlyn still has place cards for high-profile clients set out.” 

“We can just toss the cards, since there’s no guest list and we’re closing the doors as max capacity,” Sophia replied, already plucking name cards from a nearby table. 

“Do we have enough food?” Lucy continued. 

“We’ve got the chefs cooking for one-hundred-fifty and there’s one-hundred seats. I think we’re okay,” Sophia smiled. “Calm down, Luce. Everything is going according to plan. Nobody can plan like we can.”

Finally, Lucy was able to calm down. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” 

The women smiled at each other; everything was going to be perfect. Despite Lucy’s worries, they were well aware that this had been one of the smoothest events they had ever planned. Not having to please a bunch of snobby clients made the process a breeze. 

With only a few minutes to go, Sophia and Lucy decided they were happy with the state of things. After a short breather, they told the doorman to begin letting guests in the hall. 

Manhattan’s elite mingled with some lesser known citizens, filling the room and milling about the dance floor with freshly served drinks. The two event planners flitted about, adjusting table placements as necessary, making sure the food and drinks stayed well-stocked. The turnout was set to be huge, and within ten minutes of the doors opening, the hall was filled to capacity. 

Once everyone had found their seat, Sophia made a brief yet spectacular speech welcoming everyone and thanking them for their donations -- with the total amount to be named later in the evening -- the musical act took to the stage. Drinks continued to flow, the appetizers were served, and the nostalgia of the songs pulled a few couples to the dance floor. Sophia and Lucy stood at the back of the room, admiring their handiwork. 

“Ya know, Soph, I think we did a good job with this one,” Lucy mused, accepting a martini from the bartender.

“I think you’re right,” Sophia agreed. She sipped wine from the glass in her hand and took another cursory glance over the room, ever vigilant for any little thing that might go wrong. 

“Everyone seems to be having a good time,” Lucy added. “And, speaking of a good time, I do believe that gentleman in the corner is eyeing you. He has been all night.”

Sophia choked her drink. “You’re kidding, right? Lucy, tonight is not the night for your games, friend.”

“I’m not playing games,” Lucy laughed. “See, over by the band? Tall, blond. Might have to call the doctor, since he’s been nursing that beer for over an hour. But, yes, friend, he keeps glancing over at you.”

“I think you’re full of shit,” Sophia mumbled, though she looked somewhat hopeful as she threw a casual glance in the direction Lucy had indicated. She locked eyes with the man Lucy had nodded toward. 

“Still think I’m full of shit?”  

Sophia scoffed, shaking her head before she downed the rest of her wine and set the glass on the bar. Yes, she had been hopeful seconds ago, but this man was beyond handsome -- and she was on the clock, to boot. 

“Go, talk to him!” Lucy urged.

“Not a chance, Luce. We’re working, remember?” 

Before Lucy could come up with a suitable response to change her friend’s mind, the man in question started towards the two women. When he was close enough for them to see he was, for certain, headed in their direction, Lucy whispered a quick ‘good luck’ in Sophia’s ear, then made herself busy checking on the status of supper.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the man began, “but are you Sophia Hawkins?”

Sophia nodded. “I am. Can I help you with something?

“I’m Steve Rogers,” he introduced, extending a hand. When Sophia slipped her hand into his for a confident but cautious handshake, he continued.  “I wanted to thank you for coordinating this event. It’s a great cause, and I’m very impressed with the level of authenticity.”

Sophia faltered for a moment, running through her mental files so could explain the familiarity of his name. She recovered quickly, pasting a polite, professional smile on her face. 

“We did our best to make it as authentic as possible. My grandfather and great uncle were in World War II, and my co-planner, Lucy’s grandfather was in the war, as well. We were able to find a lot of photographic evidence to go off of.”

Steve hesitated, casting an uneasy glance at the ground before meeting her eyes again. “Yeah, my grandfather was in the war, too. I think he would appreciate how well you pulled it all off.”

“Why, thank you,” she smiled. They stood in silence for a moment, and Sophia noticed the authentic detail of the Army uniform Steve was wearing -- even with the best costume designers, nothing they had provided for the waitstaff or singers was this authentic. The longer she looked, the more familiar the uniform seemed. 

Steve met her eyes. “Everything all right?”

Sophia nodded and quickly dismissed the strange familiarity as something she had seen in her own family’s photos. “Is the uniform your grandfather’s?”

Again, Steve hesitated, almost as though he was looking for the right words to answer an otherwise easy question. “It was. Found it in my mother’s attic before the event. Since time-period attire was required, seemed like the uniform was the way to go.”

“It suits you,” Sophia smiled. She turned away for a moment to ask the bartender for another glass of wine. 

Steve quickly took a sip of his beer while he waited for her to return to their conversation. He looked around the room, catching sight of the dance floor; a warm blush creeped over his cheeks and down his neck. The tempo had changed from upbeat and quick to slow and steady. A surge of confidence swelled in his chest, pushing him to act on impulse. Steve finished off his beer and set the bottle on the counter, then extended his hand to Sophia again. 

“Forgive me if I’m out of line, but would you like to dance, Ms. Hawkins?” Steve asked.

Sophia’s blush matched his as she turned to set the wine glass on the bar. She accepted Steve’s hand. “Call me Sophia, and I’d love to dance.”

The couple eased into a simple waltz as the music began to build from the first verse into the bridge of the song. They danced in silence through the chorus, concentrating on the steps before changing focus to each other. 

“You told me about your family, but what made you decide to do an event open to the public? I’ve been told your firm generally caters Manhattan’s high-status citizens.”

“We do, you’re right,” Sophia confirmed. “Lucy and I have done so many of those, we wanted to do something different. We were looking through old family photos together one night, just for fun, and the idea to do a benefit for the military came to us. The USO theme followed.”

“I don’t want to sound like a broken record,” Steve smiled, “but you did a really fantastic job.”

Sophia showed her appreciation for his compliment with a modest smile. When the song ended, though she was reluctant to do so, she thanked Steve for the dance and turned to return to the bar.

“Sophia?” he called, gently grabbing her wrist to keep her from getting too far..

She turned to face him, brows raised in question. “Mm?”

“Would you want to get dinner some time? Maybe get to know each other better. Sometime when you’re not working.” 

Sophia didn’t bother to stop the ear-to-ear grin that spread over her face. “I would love that.” 

A pen was handy in the pocket of her dress, since she was, in fact, working. She took Steve’s hand again and jotted her number across his palm. She clicked the pen before putting it back in her pocket. 

“I’ll call you in a few days,” Steve promised. “We’ll work out the details.”

“Sounds good.” Sophia nodded and winked at him. She turned to walk away, this time looking over her shoulder to add, “Thanks for the dance, Captain.”

He froze for a moment, fearing that Sophia was aware of his full identity. Her eyes glanced to the patches on his jacket before she turned away from him; that had been what tipped her off to the rank. When she was back at the bar and conversing with her friend, Steve looked down at the phone number written across his palm. With a suppressed but victorious smile, he worked his way back into the crowd.

@arrowsandmixtapes​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​ @growningupgeek​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @kitkatd7​ @patzammit​ @sagechanoafterdark​ @what-is-your-plan-today​

[alphaofdarkness]

not me here for the oc ask ! can't wait to answer the ones you asked me, tomorrow i have my exam and then i shall live again haha ! but now i'll ask you 1, 2, 17, 18, 19, 20 and 31 ��� i know, it is a lot ( you don't have to do them all 💕) , but i really want to know something more about your wonderful babies and Dany ofc ! I missed her sm during this semi-hiatus 🤧💕💕💕 hope you're doing fine, sending you lots of love 💞💕💘

@carmenio Edgy!! 🥺 so happy to hear from you! ✨ I love these kinds of asks, especially on my many, many OC babies! I hope these answers are good and interesting to thee! I’ll present more info on Dany to some way, some how cause I love her 😭💖

I have gone and included the other questions you asked as well! 🤗 Let’s dive in! 😳

1. Gone and Answered Here ! UwU

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Personal favorite is often shown in the one I draw the most lol, which for a long time was Danielle LWW, but just because she was also my wolfsona at the time. After I made my own personal one I think I went onto Sam for a good while, also eventually going to Dany from Bsd!

So a tie between two beautiful girls, Sam is definitely my favorite LWW Oc, she is just precious and the one I hold the most and most always feel terrible and bad when I put her through it TM. 

Also Dany is my self insert, U//w//U, she has definitely allowed me to slowly self love and allow me to appreciate myself, especially the parts of me I didn’t think to much about or consider so appealing, I think? She has definitely been changing gradually into more of myself since I first came up with her almost 2 years ago! Watch me slowly knock her down to my height of 4′9″, let her have her 3 inches for another year maybe lol.

My dearest Atsushi agrees lol ✨🐯

17. Any OC OTPs? 

👀 lol yesss~ so many and so many crack ships too, which I'll answer next 😂

I’ll just go on and list them off, plenty more of them but~:

DanyJay

SoraYama

LidiaTom

AlikLucy

IsabelleKayla

AlexanderIsabelle

DarkwolfmonJatomon

JatamonRaiwolfmon

EarthamonHounmon

HumaamonWolverimon

And lastly TakaSam is the one I have definitely drawn and thought of the most! They are the top OTP and just best trope of Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, also filling in that trope of Oblivious to both of them but everyone else 🙄. While SoraYama may have been the OG Couple in my story, my love and warmth for TakaSam is unmatched TwT.

It is wild cause I always draw anguish between them as could-have-been-lovers-had-it-not-been-for-death, but recently been drawing them purely happy and content. Total sweethearts, the love everyone wants, excluding possibility of being old friends or not!

18. Any OC crackships?

L o l, I never seem to focus on the main couples because of this specific thing.

I’ll again just go off in list an maybe add a trope or something to get an idea of them:

DanyYama: Rivals, Constantly arguing, and can be petty as heck, but oh the potential and just possibility of opening up after the traumaTM 👀 also the couple that is always in your face about being in a relationship.

DanySora: Sparing partners, the sass and stubbornness, BiPan solidarity 👀

DanyLidia: Pure, wholesome, best friends and so much hugging and lifting from the tol to smol, the nature love vibes

SamJay: Wholesome, soft, healing together from traumaTM, protectiveness, also their Digimon were lovers and married in their previous life, what does that make us? 😳

SamDany: Mostly sibling-like relationship, but damn they have that Sun and Moon tropes?! How can you not possibly ship them!

SamLula: Shy and Confident, Bisexual/Lesbian solidarity 💕✨

JaySora: Opposite of the DanyYama tropes, why are our partners constantly arguing, can they please stop, pure and soft together.

DanyTaka: Digimon Au specifically, Oh you and I are the voice of the revolution? We are rallying up the troops together? Oh boi my Digimon feels love for yours, am I falling for you or are we falling together? Depression buddies but also each others hope and spirit boost ;;w;;

Any of the Warriors with the Sins: A whole lo t of mess, and just not healthy ... but I can already seen fandom people sayin g otherwise~

LustWrath: Spicy, no strings attached kind of deal.

WrathEnvy: ...Oof um, not healthy, kind of manipulative, we are devils there is nothing but toxic vibes.

PrideWrath: Rulers, King and Queen vibes, Yeah we are toxic for each other, f*** off.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Definitely Darkwolfmon! I am sure I explained in the first question why, but again I consider her to be that other half of me, the part of me I never discovered or the parts that essentially fill in the gaps within me. She is my precious partner Digimon and has honestly come a long, long way since I first created her. I believe sometime in 2009-2010, so almost 11-12 years since. She was the first ever OC of mine and is one I hold closest too in my heart.

For the longest time, even too now, I have always wanted her to just manifest at my side. Go on this journey of life together. While she might not be physically here like my child-self would want, she is still in my stories, my imagination, my inspirational drive. I think that is definitely more than enough, I don't know where or who I would be without having created her. I probably wouldn’t have a whole tale of OC’s and stories to tell if it wasn't for her. 

I am more than grateful and thankful that I am who I am because of this lovely Oc of mine. I can only hope to have her at my side for the rest of my days!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Most, if not all, my OC’s can sing! Their voices and tones vary, to which I cannot give a straight answer on how I headcanon most of their voices right now ^^; I will say that Danielle has a British accent to her voice as well as Spanish speak, and Sora has a Russian accent to her voice, so may be just lightly deep, but not to much.

I will definitely go with my Bsd Oc/Self Insert Danielle Mika Mason, however! Because I have gone and done a thing on how she would speak in her Japanese and English Dub! Other than me also being her voice, her Japanese VA would be Yui Ishikawa, same VA of the queen herself, Mikasa 💕 English VA would be Barrett Wilbert Weed, with an English accent, good Veronica from the Heathers! You can have a listen to her here in this post! 

Dany is meek when it comes to her singing, she will often be caught humming and softly singing something, but quickly tends to stop around others. She is often back and forth with how she sounds and often shuts down when she hears someone she considers better than her. She just needs some encouragement and a gentle push from someone she really cares about. When she does feel the push and genuineness from someone she will sing her heart out. But of course prefers to sing for only that one special person~ can ya guess~ 🐯

31.  Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really).

Oh boi! I literally have moodboards to add to this! I pick Samantha, or Sam! 

She would totes have a Tumblr blog, and Instagram! You always look forward to see what she post and just feel an instant calmness and warmth when you see it! She is always tagging her things appropriately, a soft and warm spring like layout that is shades of yellows, golds, orange, white; an occasional blue and teal as well! She would reblog anything of her aesthetic, golds, yellows, dance and ballet related things (may even post videos or poses of herself in practice and dance related things), cafe shops, sweets and desserts, warm night lights, cats, lots and lots of cats and felines of all shapes and sizes! Her best friend/boyfriend, Takaru always cameos in her stories and posts 💖

She would also reblog or spread awareness of any issues happening in the world, marking them and making her own voice heard as well. In spur moments, you may see her not tag things, but will likely go back to name things accordingly. She would also reblog anything of Bi Pride too!

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Hmmm,,, my most dangerous Oc, I am taking the notion that they are just plain dangerous and likely of evil intent in their actions. Because plenty of my Oc’s on their own are dangerous in their own right, such as the Legendary Wolf Warriors, who have a great power at their paws. They can be destructive in their actions if they lose control or use it for the wrong intentions, which they wouldn't do of their free will. 

I will say Danielle and Sam are the strongest of the seven, because of their powers of Darkness and Light, respectively. Their souls created the others, so the other Warrior’s power does not match theirs. They can definitely be lethal together if used for the wrong reasons or if they are under the control of a Human or Deadly Sin.

Which leads me to say that the most dangerous of my OC’s with the worst intentions and evil thought processes that makes them dangerous is likely the Deadly Soul Sin Pride, or Mikka Penelope King/Pride as her solid name goes. 

She is definitely the most sinister of the seven sins, even worse than Wrath, who you may figure would be the worst. She has a calculating mind and is very precise in her actions and ways of manipulation. She has a poison within her veins that is just as deadly, capable of blinding others or even killing without remorse or care. While she may be a ghost like entity in my stories, a person/digimon holder in my Digimon College Au, she has enough power to influence people to fall under pride and vanity in the most dangerous level possible, heck even possess them if she wishes. That makes her stronger, as well as the other sins. Does not matter if she is dead or fades away for a while, her influence remains and if it does, than she can exist for a long as she desires.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Lol I saw cinnamon roll and instantly had a list of ocs ready, honestly any child OC I have is instantly a cinnamon roll and to good and put for this world, please treat them all kindly!

Current top Oc’s that come to mind are Haruko Mason-Nakajima, along with their nameless sister/pup! They are the sweetest babies ever and love them so much. Too good and pure, especially nameless pup with her love for tigers; she wants to grow up and be like her sibling and papa 🥺🥰  You can see the post on them here!

Next up is my precious flamey boi named Alik Azure Mizuhara! A next gen. LWW, son of Sora and Yamato! A little sightless boi with the softest heart and warmest empathy for others. Very much like his mother in likeness and pure curiosity of the world’s secrets and tales. His father worries for him a lot, but gradually learns to trust in his ability to guide himself. Don’t worry too much about him, he is very smart and knows how to care and guide himself!

Thank you so much for the time and questions you asked me Edgy! I had so much fun with these and gave me a chance to gush about my dearest OC’s! I do hope you find them of interest! 🤗🥺🥰

May your day be beautiful and amazing!! 🥰✨💖

[iiasha-archived]

genshin anon! oops turns out i totally forgot to respond lol. yeah the sacrificial is nice. ive got the bow, claymore, and catalyst. almost have 2 r5 catalyts as well.... oo that's nice! yeah xiao has kind of turned into my not used character as well which is kind of sad. i love him so much. but hu tao doing 30k+ crit up to 50k is uh... going well for me one might say. and yeah i also think the rate theyre doing things is okay. people constantly are at the game for not having end game content

lmaoo don’t worry about responding!! feel free to absolutely ghost me i’ll totally understand hehe <3

(2/5) but like.. the game isnt a year old yet. like half the game isnt even out yet. i get theres not a whole lot to do ar 45+ but :/ its a gacha game so its not really supposed to be a play for 8 hours a day thing. although i am torn on that. it is a gacha game but plays and acts like a 'proper' game so i get where everyone is coming from in that aspect. i am so in love with venti. mostly wanted him to collect everyone and for spiral abyss but damn i use him CONSTANTLY and i dont think i could

(3/5) ever not use him now. sucrose is great though! def try to get here she is such a great support! zhongli is so useful though haha. he kind of just fits in wherever. i cant wait for childe i so hope i get him. im saving up all these windblume primos for him haha. and hoping to get rosaria in the process (my pole arm team will almost be complete). yeah the windblume has been great! the STORY THOUGH. it made me so happy? haha. loved seeing all the characters again. and it was just a sweet

(4/5) story :'( the games are pretty cool too! im not a big fan off the freefall one though. the other two are great. and peculiar wonderland! that one is a lot of fun in coop! i kind of really want them to keep the dandelions floating around in mondstadt? they look so nice. oh nice! yeah polearms are fun haha. i used to use a lot of claymores but idk, im just not overly fond of how slow they are? plus none of them really -vibe- with me. xinyan is my fave out of them though. i just walk around

(5/5) with my faves and hope for the best :') chongyun and xingqiu bestest friends <3 that sounds funny ill have to be xingqui when i do chongyuns story quest lol. still havent done any of those but yeah its nice that they do let you skip what youve already done lol. yeah rosaria did show up in the windblume festival which i figured she would. got to remind everyone about her before she is released. did make me like her a bit more honestly. cant wait to (hopefully) get her! she seems like fun!

R5 DAMN.... i think my highest is like R2 lmao again weapons are like the last thing i invest in ajdfklaj i have like. two good swords and 2 good claymores and that’s it. my poor catalysts and bows.......

30-50k crit omg..... i only JUST got the achievement for like i think 20k+ damage with xiao the other day and it was during peculiar wonderland with the plunging/crit buffs LMAOOOO i am not a numbers type of gal </3 

yeah i’ve honestly seen a lot of gacha games that like fucked around before discontinuing and not making a dent in the story... not saying that i want that to happen to genshin of course (knock on wood) but just the rate they’re doing things is definitely fine lmao. and yeah sometimes i don’t even bother playing every day if i just don’t feel like it adfjklajd sure i’m losing primogems but also like. i’m tired bro lmao idk how people can spend hours every single day without just spending a copious amount of money on it. 

but it does definitely feel like more than a gacha game for sure. botw was popular for a reason and i must say genshin ripped it off well LMAO. ughhhh despite what i said i keep pulling for venti and I’VE GOTTEN NOELLE IN EVERY SINGLE 10 WISH THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS FJADKLFJSA i did get keqing for my pity though who i did also really want though so!!!! i guess i can be happy with that lmao although i wish at least 1 of my noelles was a sucrose or something...

and yes! even if it was just brief cameos i’m glad they brought a lot of characters in; really helps build the world especially seeing the friendships between certain characters! i know we got a spoiler in the trailer but i was so excited to just see like. diluc/kayea/rosaria together hahaha. and razor and bennet are so cute!! i think people already knew they were friends from their voicelines? but actually seeing them hang out together/interact really solidifies it. 

oh nice i’m not the only one who isn’t a fan of the freefalling one LMAO the others were a lot of fun tho <3 and yeah the dandelions are definitely really pretty!!!

ahh yeah i think with claymore users i tend to really focus more on their elemental skills/burst than them actually fighting lmao. like with chongyun at least he has a pretty fast cooldown compared to how long his skill lasts and just switch out with another character meanwhile. polearms are fun as well and xiao has been GREAT but i think i was also off put by how little damage my xiangling was doing when i first tried out polearms lmaooo

chongyun and xingqiu are really the best i love them so much... people keep comparing them to buzzfeed unsolved which i honestly haven’t really seen much of but it makes SO much sense especially since their whole thing is like. chongyun looking for evil spirits and xingqiu giving him shitty leads jasdkflsa. 

also idk if you’ve seen this but apparently the tassels they wear on their visions are friendship tassels they gifted each other and JDAFKLAJSKLFDSJ THAT’S SO CUTE GODDD

and yeah!!! again with the diluc/kayea/rosaria group i really want a storyline surrounding those 3 specifically lmao they seem so fun. i actually didn’t realize the similarities between kaeya and rosaria are until they were put together but aside from kaeya being more. idk flirty/extroverted lmao they actually have sort of similar like. idk. vibes? roles? jobs? way about doing things? and cryo users ofc

[softlass27]

Okay okay you don't have to do this now, but i was also wondering about your Eve fic: I've always been a daughter, because MY GOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH. Like your entire thought process behind Eve's character, how her relationship with Paddy and Chas came to be, just kdlsf everything. Sorry okay xx luv you!

So this is probably the most random, spontaneous thing I’ve ever written. It was borne out of two Chaddy-related irritations.

The first was them having another baby barely one year after the traumatic loss of the first one. It was so strange to me that everyone reacted so happily when they announced Chas was pregnant again, literally months after being devastated by Grace. It seemed way too soon, like Eve was essentially just there to replace what they’d lost and help them move on from it. And their obsessive paranoia over making sure Eve was okay all the time drove me mad, and just made me think it was bound to mess her up. To quote my mother, “The kid doesn’t stand a chance with those two.”

The second irritation was the way Chas kept trying to push Aaron to engage and spend time with Eve just after he’d lost Robert and Seb – and the chance of having another child of his own. It was so insensitive and cruel of her to use Eve to guilt Aaron into moving on by saying that she “needs her big brother”. She (plus Paddy and Liv) didn’t give a shit that Aaron had lost Robert, didn’t let him mourn everything he’d lost, they just wanted him to bounce back and forget all about him.

Somewhere along the line I started thinking, wouldn’t it be great if Chaddy’s constant pushing backfired and Eve became the biggest Robert stan of them all?

So that’s basically where it came from – anti-Chaddy spite.

Eve’s character

Oh God, I was SO nervous about writing her. I had a really clear picture of her in my head – that she’d be pretty well-behaved kid, very girly, quietly confident, and generally quite a chilled-out kid. But getting all that across in a way that made her likeable stressed me out so much, I was terrified that people either wouldn’t like her or just wouldn’t care about her.

It’s also the only fic I’ve written where the focus isn’t on Robron (although ofc there’s LOTS of them in there), so I was concerned people would be annoyed by that.

Relationship with Chaddy

Ahaha where to begin?

So obviously Eve’s relationship with her parents was a big part of the story. I wanted to make it clear that their trauma from losing Grace was never dealt with because they had Eve so quickly, and unfortunately that means Eve is the one to suffer because of it. Their grief becomes unhealthy, and it causes flaws that they already had – control issues, overbearing natures, a belief that they’re always in the right – to spiral out of control into something more extreme and sinister.

In the first half of the story, when Eve’s still a kid, their controlling and overprotective behaviour is something that she’s aware of but accepts easily enough, because she doesn’t know any different. Then when she becomes a teenager, there’s a shift in how it manifests. Once she starts to understand that something’s wrong and pull away, this is when the real breakdown of their relationship happens. They basically go between two extremes – either smothering her completely by inventing illnesses/stop her from becoming independent, or pushing her away and giving her the cold shoulder whenever she tries to resist said smothering.

There’s a form of mental illness/abuse that I find absolutely fascinating, which is called Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy (NHS link here). Not that much is known about it, but it basically involves an abuser (usually a parent or caregiver) faking illnesses in their child. It can be for a variety of reasons – power, attention, control, financial gain. I wasn’t comfortable actually labelling Chaddy’s treatment of Eve as this specific form of abuse, since I’m not a mental health professional (not yet anyway, I’m training to become one!), but it’s definitely something I had in the back of my mind when I was writing this. I doubt it’s a story the show would ever do, since it would mean turning Chaddy into actual villains, but I think the potential is definitely there with Eve!

I suppose the other thing to mention is Grace. Oh, Eve’s feelings about her sister are so complicated, probably more complicated than I was able to convey, though I loved giving it a good go. When she’s still a child, Eve’s main feeling in regards to Grace is confusion. Confusion over what happened to her, why she makes her parents so sad, why her not being here means Eve doesn’t get to do normal things like other kids.

Then when she gets older and understands, her feelings get a lot more messy. There’s anger, sadness, resentment... and a strange sort of disconnect between what her parents tell her to feel and what she actually feels. Not to mention the cold reality she tries not to dwell on too much – the only reason she was born is because Grace had died. 

Relationship with Aaron

Obviously I wanted Eve to be close to Aaron, and for him to sort of be her lifeline, her only real shot at growing up “normally”. Chaddy foisting her on him so much as a child means he sort of naturally becomes a third parent as well as a big brother. He’s the one who provides the things that a good parent is supposed to – support, encouragement, pushing her to be the best/as happy as she can be.

So yeah, Chaddy’s plan to use Eve to make Aaron act in the way they wanted backfires MASSIVELY. She becomes the only one who helps him get through losing Robert, and who (admittedly unknowingly) helps them get back together. And in turn, Eve spending so much time with Aaron makes her grow up strong and resilient – just like he is – and Chaddy can’t stand that. Ah, sweet irony.

Another thing I like about Eve and Aaron is that – on the surface – they have nothing in common. Unlike Liv, who was basically brought in as a “mini female Aaron”, Eve is very much her own person and very different to her big brother. But there are a few subtle similarities in their personalities that I did try to show – they’re both quite blunt when they want to be, they’re both quite easily-pleased and find simple pleasure in things, and neither of them suffer fools for long. And they both adore Robert. Speaking of whom…

Relationship with Robert

Literally one of the first thoughts I had about this story was: Eve will fall in love with Robert instantly. What little girl wouldn’t? The sweet relationship between them was one of my favourite things to write, their conversations always seemed to flow so naturally. It was also a soothing balm to my irritation over Liv hating Robert for literally no reason (other than she wanted Aaron all to herself). It never made any sense to me, so I wanted Eve to be the exact opposite. Writing Chaddy’s reaction to this was also very fun lol.

One thing that’s really lovely about them is how Robert becomes the only person who really understands what it’s like to not get along with your parents (and to be constantly compared to another sibling). To feel suffocated/desperate to get away, yet also upset when they reject you and guilty because you aren’t falling into line with their plans for you. Of course Aaron understands to an extent, because he obviously knows what Chas and Paddy can be like, but it wasn’t something he personally grew up with.

Ballet 

So Eve’s dance career wasn’t planned, not at all. It was initially just a hobby I used to show that she’s a proper girly girl. It wasn’t until I reached her teenage years that I realised I needed some sort of big conflict to cause the final showdown. I knew whatever it was had to lead to her moving into the Mill, before leaving the village and getting away from Chaddy for good.

I know from personal experience that if you grow up in the north and decide you want to pursue a career in the arts, you’re probably going to have to leave home and move to where the opportunities are. So the idea came to me that turning Eve’s passion for ballet into a career choice would mean she HAD to leave home, and it would serve as the ideal catalyst for this final fight.

I do have a head canon in my head about how Eve’s twenties and her early dance career will go. Who knows if I’ll ever write it, though!

[thebeautyofdisorder]

The Undone & The Divine (BBC Dracula) - Chapter 7

A/N: Okay, here is the next chapter finally. Nothing quite so... explicit as last chapter, but fun none the less. A lot of conversation/exposition, and Zoe may or may not be inadvertently sciencing her way into a crossover opportunity that I won’t take, but she does have a mind of her own, that one. Drac does a bit of grumpy pining.

Pairing: Dracula & Agatha/Zoe, Dracula/OFC

Rating: M, for blood, language, mercenaries with guns, and direct references to sexual acts performed in the last chapter.

Chapters 1-2 Here - Chapter 3 Here - Chapter 4 Here - Chapter 5 Here - Chapter 6 Here

Can be found on AO3 - Right HERE - or enjoy below the cut

“I don’t think she’s coming, sire.”

Dracula looked up from where he’d been absently staring off into the abyss - granted the abyss did look an awful lot like his front door, to meet the infuriatingly attentive gaze of Frank Renfield, as he stirred his tea, and pretended to peruse the morning paper.

“I’m sorry?” It was less of a question of clarification, and more a second chance to remedy his daring presumption, though apparently this did not occur to the lawyer at all.

“Dr. Helsing. I think she’s far more stubborn than even you give her credit for.”

“What exactly gives you the idea that I’m waiting for anyone, much less her?” he challenged, quirking a brow at his rather unwelcome company. He had asked for daily updates on his current investments, true, but it wasn’t necessarily his intention to have the man pop up at random hours of the morning to do so. Just because he could be a morning person now certainly didn’t mean that he actually wanted to be.

“I’ve never seen you so disinterested in sustenance when it’s right in front of you, unless she’s involved, of course.”

The vampire was very tempted to rip the knowing smile right from his skull, but barely managed to restrain himself out of sheer disinterest at working to find another malleable Londoner to do his business. Picking up his sadly cooled breakfast, he drained the glass simply out of spite and sat it back down with a force just shy from shattering it.

“I don’t pay you to psychoanalyze me, Frank,” he warned, barely concealed with a charming edge of fondness that came off even more menacing than any blatant threat, as he stood to his full height and paced over to the window.

The lawyer paled. “Yes, master.”

“What’s my schedule for this evening?”

“I believe you indicated you were finishing off your first experiment tonight, Count. The painter.”

“Ah. Yes,” he confirmed, even as he proceeded to juggle his mobile phone between his hands distractedly, mind somewhere else entirely. “I might...hold off on that for another week. Can’t be too hasty...I really don’t want anymore failures on my hands. And perhaps we should really begin to encourage the writing of wills in this process… When is that ‘natural burial’ movement going to be ‘en vogue’ over here, you think?”

“In a city this size? Hard to say…” Frank winced, seeming to fall silent far longer than necessary to think about it, and Dracula was really beginning to regret meddling with his mental faculties so much. It did, however, shut him up long enough for him to send a text to the woman he'd just been accused of thinking about.

HAVE YOU RECONSIDERED JOINING ME FOR DINNER?

After three minutes of silence, Dracula scowled and refocused on Renfield's babbling, which had taken back up after his initial, blissful silence. Something about 'death positivity' which brought a brief smirk to his lips. Just when he thought humanity had lost its sense of reality entirely.

You text like my grandfather.

The Count grinned in partial triumph. Partial because while she'd certainly replied, she didn't seem nearly as outraged as he'd dearly hoped. Would have to remedy that. Very soon.

BUSY?

Very busy. How did you get my number?

HUNGRY? 🍷

No.

LIAR.

Show off.

Renfield had the audacity to clear his throat.

-----

Peaking into the disheveled mass of books, vials, and files that had become the current state of Zoe Van Helsing’s office, Bloxham at first mistook it for empty. The lights were dimmed, and the chair behind the desk was not only lacking in an occupant, but instead was serving as an unsteady shelf for what looked to be a hundred-year-old phonograph.

“The sign specifically said ‘do not disturb’, didn’t it?”

Dr. Bloxham spun around suddenly, placing a hand to her chest in shock as her eyes adjusted to the far corner of the room, where a small pseudo lab seemed to be occupying the back corner. Zoe was standing still as a statue, frozen in the midst of studying a vial of a thick red substance by shining a black light through it. She stayed frozen.

“Jesus, Zoe you scared the shit out of me,” she remarked at first. “And actually it says ‘danger: enter at your own risk’ but it was so bloody dark in here I thought you’d gone home.”

“All the same, get out. I’m busy,” Zoe murmured tightly, and her colleague frowned, making no motion to leave as of yet.

“Zoe...you haven’t been coming to meetings, nor have you really spoken to anyone in a week. Is everything...alright?”

“Fine. Just dandy. Now get out, please.”

“Sarcasm, much? I’m just...worried.”

Zoe still hadn’t moved. In fact, she was forcing herself to stay rooted to the spot, or she wasn’t entirely certain what she would do. A sudden shuffling outside the door, however, pulled her away from her steely focus and her eyes shot up with inhuman speed to the door where a crack of light cut through the carpet.

“Who else is with you?” Zoe asked, eyes shooting towards the other woman directly for the first time since she’d entered.

Bloxham swallowed audibly, eyes darting quickly away to avoid eye contact.

“Look, our sponsor has been sending inquiries about this...situation, and we need to provide him with answers. I thought if I could get a glimpse of your research, we could figure out what it is you’re doing and give a proper update…"

“Dr. Bloxham… Kate I really need you to go. My research is mine and until it’s complete, I have no interest in sharing it,” Zoe stated firmly.

Dr. Bloxham advanced forward a step. “But Zoe-”

Zoe’s grip on the vial in her hand tightened and the glass gave a warning crackle that froze the shorter woman in her place.

“Leave!” The words came out in nothing short of a growl, and had the exact opposite effect on the situation that she’d intended or hoped.

The door swung the rest of the way open with a deafening bang and two large men with guns came in behind Dr. Bloxham, only halting their approach at the raise of her hand.

“That won’t be necessary boys, thank you,” she stated with carefully practiced calm, even though Zoe could hear the thrumming of her pulse hitting an anxious high speed. She forced her fingers, which had flexed into something resembling claws, to relax, though her spine stiffened further. Would guns hurt her? Maybe, maybe not but it would certainly lead to a load of inconvenience even if they didn’t - more so if they didn’t, she decided.

Ignoring the intrusion completely, even as they seemed to stand down, Zoe addressed Bloxham directly. “Is this really where you’re going with this? I’m not an animal, Dr. Bloxham. In fact, I’m doing everything in my power to avoid that outcome, and would like to continue to do it in peace.”

She slammed the glass beaker down and against better judgement beckoned her reluctant colleague forward.

“Come. Look.”

She hesitated, but gesturing a casual hand back at the men at her back, she approached Zoe, who distinctly moved out of the way entirely.

“What am I looking at?”

“Just a basic five-senses test, Doctor, what do they tell you?”

Kate leant down at eye level with the beaker, perusing it, picking it up and shifting the substance around, taking a whiff of it.

“It smells, looks, and behaves like blood. De-fibrillated, if I had to guess - from who or what I don’t know.”

Zoe looked minutely pleased, though was still almost robot stiff as she handed a folder over to her.

“It’s a protein and nutrient compound. I'm running a few...tests to see if I can find a supplemental vampiric food source. The information is all there."

Bloxham took the folder with a glance of astonished intrigue, and greedily began to look over the contents, forgetting about her intimidation tactics. Momentarily, at least.

"Could this actually work?"

"To keep them alive...yes, potentially. Or to ward off the cravings and reduce the need to result in homicide, at the least. As for the grander implications… I don't know."

"You need a subject."

"I am the subject."

The other doctor nodded briefly, biting her lip and pacing back towards the desk, folder still in her hands.

"You think he's infecting others?'

"I know he is," Zoe scoffed, the distance between them making it somewhat easier to function. To breathe, however much she still could.

"And have you run any trials yet?"

"With a couple more tweaks, I was planning to start this evening."

Bloxham gestured with her eyes toward the phonograph, and the exceedingly out of place stack of various religious texts and mythos.

"These?"

"Doing some updates on my great grandfather's research.  None of which is replaceable, ergo my want for privacy."

She nodded, understanding but not commenting. It was one of the things Zoe always appreciated about her - she never spoke without thinking first.

"I would like you to run this as an official experiment in the lab, if only for the sake of an external eye. First hand trials are never 100% accurate - we both know that. You can't afford to miss something. If you feel...unsafe with the others, we can isolate you where you can still be observed - at your discretion, of course. And all of your private research will remain that way, you have my word."

Zoe pursed her lips into a thin line, weighing her options. Who was she kidding, she didn't have options. She had partial control or none at all; a glass box or an autopsy table. This was a negotiation of surrender.

"All right. Fine."

-----

“...The second son of Vlad II became ruler of Wallachia in 1436, leading to one of the bloodiest but most successful reigns in Romanian history simply by fearful reputation alone. Drakula as he was often called, in his day simply in honor of his father meaning 'Son of the Dragon'. Now it just adds to his legend, since 'Dracul' in modern Romanian more accurately translates to Devil. A very literal interpretation of dying a hero or living long enough to see yourself becoming The Villain ™ …"

Kat skimmed the notes for at least the fifth time, mindlessly chewing her nail polish off her thumb in a manic, nervous habit she thought she'd squashed at 16. She hadn't made it to class that morning - hell, she didn't even hear her alarm. It had blared for three hours before her mind swam its way back to consciousness.

He'd been gone when she awoke finally, the mid-morning sun streaming harshly through her curtains. He left her a note, written in comically perfect cursive on the back of a concert flyer, with his mobile number scrawled across the top, laid on her bedside table atop the book he'd brought her.

I had to run for a meeting early. Enjoy the book. - D

P.S. I did try to fix your shelf, though I do believe I owe you a new lamp.

Her cheeks were still burning hotter than her coffee as she later sat down to email her professor, claiming sudden illness and begging a forward of his notes. Luckily he was a pretty laid back type or it would have been twice as humiliating to think she was effectively calling in due to being fucked into oblivion.

She'd barely recalled being conscious after, though she knew she had been. Though the memory of laughing off the wall-pounding complaints of her next door neighbor was swimming interchangeably with the images of her very bizarre dream. At least she'd assumed it was a dream - men sprouting fangs was clearly her orgasm-delirious brain reacting to last week's ill-timed Buffy marathon and too many re-readings of Legends of the Carpathians. It had to be.

That was her logic anyway, up until she looked at herself in the floor length mirror after jumping in the shower, and found herself marveling there far too long. She wasn't one to complain about a hickey or two, but her fingers trailed the jagged white indentation of teeth at the juncture of her neck and shoulder -  a pale slash interrupting the bruised flesh - and shivered. Red, stripe-like lines trailed the length of her legs and hips, unfaded and tangible. There was even still a red gash-like mark on her shoulder where the strap of her camisole had dug into her flesh as he ripped it like it was made of crepe paper.

Her mind returned to those notes, lingering on the name 'Drakula' far too long without coming up with a real reason to be so concerned. It could be an ancestor or a weird inside joke of an alias she had missed. For all she knew of Romanian customs it could be a fairly common name there now.

"Impaled by Vlad the Impaler...ridiculous," she joked, half audibly to herself

"I quite like the sound of that."

A bonafide squeak of surprise rose out of her throat, though she didn't have the time to be humiliated as the tall shadow of the man himself showed up in the mirror behind her, taking up the whole of her bedroom door frame.

"Apologies, it was unlocked. I did knock to be fair, but I can see why you didn't hear." His eyes were locked on her body still dripping from the shower, a towel barely clasped around to cover the important bits.

Kat quickly caught her breath, forcing a chuckle. "No, it's...alright. I was just trying to...go over my notes," she excused, gesturing to where her laptop sat open on the desk in the corner.

"Didn't make it out of bed this morning," She shot him a look of playful accusation, before turning back to the mirror, already dismissing her earlier fears now that she was seeing him in broad daylight for the first time. He was definitely not a big pile of dust, or if he was he was the most attractive one she'd ever seen.

He made a show of wincing. "I suppose that was my fault." He paced forward, meeting her eyes through their reflections as he approached, tracing a finger down the side of her neck and over her shoulder, skimming the harsh redness. "This definitely was."

Her breath stuttered audibly and she felt her lower muscles clench almost painfully just at the barest reminder of his presence.

"Yeah...you… go a bit feral, don't you?" She breathed, fingers tracing her legs as well.

"You do make a lovely canvas." He smirked lightly, but other than meeting her reflection's gaze, he looked away from the mirror entirely, and brushed his lips over the bite mark as he turned away.

Well, he certainly has a reflection, she couldn't help but muse as she remembered to breathe, watching his backside as he paced over to the laptop casually.

"I see you're onto the 15th century."

"Yes… family of yours?" She prodded with mild curiosity, as she adjusted the towel.

He was silent for a moment , as though debating just how directly to answer.

"Something like that," he seemed to settle with, and despite lifting a curious brow she didn't pry. Something in his eyes brooked no reproach, as funny as that felt to think.

"I unfortunately need to be going again," he added before she could think of any further inquiry, or pounce on him again as she was half wont to do.

"I mainly just came to replace your lamp," he said, stepping back to the hall and pulling up a bag he had left on the floor, offering it to her.

She couldn't help but laugh as she took it from him.. "Why thank you."

Not that she could ever look at the bloody thing again without remembering knocking it onto the floor to smash into pieces as he pounded her into next week. Though judging from the demonic glint in his eyes as he pressed an otherwise chaste kiss to her knuckles in farewell, that was exactly what he'd intended.

----

She felt him before she saw him. It was both refreshing and annoying that he couldn't sneak up on her anymore, even if it just meant a few more minutes of blissful ignorance before he intruded on her evening.

"You shouldn't be here."

He was even more annoyed by it if the disgruntled sigh was anything to go by. He remained at a distance in the shadows nonetheless.

"Neither should you, Zoe," Dracula warned in a tone that was so low, it was almost genuine in its concern. "I know what you're doing, at least in part, and while the effort is admirable it's not going to work."

"And how would you know?" She snapped, frustration lacing her words as she tried desperately to keep her eyes on the screen in front of her. "Have you ever even tried not killing anyone? Of course not, because you enjoy it too much. You're a monster and that's how you like it." She slammed a few keys with audible force.

Dracula scoffed, approaching from the shadows with an affronted air. "What do you call what I've been doing?! I would think you'd appreciate the gesture."

Her eyes narrowed, incredulous confusion colored by exasperation. "I'm sorry, are saying you attempting not to murder half of London is supposed to impress me?"

"Yes, of course."

At that she couldn't help but laugh, for probably the first time in months, though it contained plenty of Agatha's sardonic mirth as well.

"You really are a 500 year old infant, aren't you?"

His lips formed into an exaggerated pout, barely masking his amusement. "Is that what she's said about me?"

"Among many other things, yes," Zoe confirmed dryly, standing to her feet. They both knew he was speaking of Agatha, though whether he knew about the letters she wasn't sure, nor did she want to bring it up. Not yet.

"And what about the girl who's throat you almost ripped out last night? Or did you? Was that out of spite or just the chance to show off?"

"She's perfectly fine.  Actually I would say I improved her night immensely ." The lascivious tone was blatant and twice as irritating as he leaned over the desk towards her.

Her nostrils flared as the breath expelled through his words lingered between them, smelling of blood.

"You're revolting." She despised that the words came out in a gasp.

"And deep down, you enjoy it."

"Like I enjoyed cancer."

He smirked, though there was a bitter edge of impatience to it.

"They're going to try to kill you, you know. And you don't have the strength to fight it."

"Then I suppose I'll die," she dismissed, just to irritate him. In truth it was something she was concerned with as well, but the last thing she wanted was for him to know it

He scowled briefly though it manifested as more of a snarl, pulling a hip flask from his pocket and placing it on the desk between them. An offering, given in silence.

Zoe barely looked at it. "And which one of your conquests did that come from?"

"Leading hematologist in London - willingly donated in a sterile, medical setting - very much alive and happily at home with his idiotic family as we speak. If and when you could use the boost - or the expertise."

"Not necessary," she ground out, doing her best to ignore its presence entirely. Not to mention the implication he was even offering assistance in his selfish, convoluted way, despite his opposition to her plan.

Dracula could have opened it and left her with no choice, but he didn't. Instead, he straightened to his full height and met her eyes again with a sigh as he made his way back towards the door. Where he’d actually gotten in without notice, she had no idea, and she’d rather not think about it..

"Good luck, Dr. Helsing," he bade her farewell, unable to resist adding sardonically: "You'll need it."

----

Sooo... Zoe’s kind of trying to invent True Blood, and I’m a whore for Drac being a suck up (no pun intended). This is going to get...interesting.

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