#Slay Me (Rock Gods Book Two)

[astonmartinii]

Hi, love your work. Could you please write a Lando Norris x engineer!reader thank you 🥰

team bonding | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x engineer!reader

people start to notice the chemistry between lando and his race engineer

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 11,067 others

tagged: yourbff

yourusername: life between races ✨

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lilaclando part time race enginner full time mother

landonorris so where was my karaoke invite?

yourusername you'd really come all the way from monaco to do karaoke with my uni friends ???

landonorris duh

mclarenlover he's so in love you can't tell me otherwise

oscarpiastri the real question is what song did you sing?

yourusername man i feel like a women obviously

oscarpiastri taste as always

landonorris

liked by yourusername, estebanocon and 601,843 others

landonorris: what happens at the monaco after party stays at the monaco after party

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babynorris i did not know lando was friends with mick and este but i am living for this

estebanocon the best nights are the ones you don't remember

mickschumacher where is dj lando?

lando4ever are we all just collectively ignoring the girl in the last slide?

leclerc16x call me delusional but that looks like his race engineer

landonorizzzzz ur delusional (i hope you're right)

f1wagsupdates

liked by lando4ever, lilacleclerc and 1,304 others

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f1wagsupdates: in his most recent post lando norris included a picture of a girl many believe to be his race engineer y/n y/ln. she's worked with lando for just over a year and are a beloved duo in f1, with their radio conversations being a huge source of entertainment. what do you think of this potential couple: cute or unprofessional?

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babygirllando i think it would be cute... i mean we've all heard the radios... the one when lando crashed... she was so stressed

maxyverstappen i mean that's kinda her job?

kittyrussell as much as i would love this couple, they work together like HR violation ???

norrisszn maybe the issue here is y'all assuming everything all the time ? they're clearly friends? i didn't know you couldn't party with your friends

LN4 literally people assume shit every time and cause the issues

f1

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f1: lando norris is back on the podium in austria after some quick thinking from his race engineer y/n y/ln helped the brit undercut the alpines to take third!

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landonorris your fave duo tearing it up

yourusername we slayed 💅

glitterlando I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT RAT STEINER SAYS THEY’RE CUTE AND PROFESSIONAL

planetdannyric this is what you get steiner - double haas dnf and y/n being a big component of lando's podium KARMA

danielricciardo team work makes the dream work !! happy for you two 🏆

hugsforlando danny being a landoy/n shipper so true of him

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 531,778 others

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landonorris: after the last couple weeks, y/n has been subject to the most ridiculous and disgusting ridicule from people from within our own sport. y/n y/ln is one of the most talented individuals in f1 and i am forever grateful that she is on my team! i think we all saw how important she is to my success, so appreciation post for my rock! x

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howdyricciardo god they are so cute whether they're a couple or just friends

yourusername awwww thank you lando i don't care what they say we continue to slay

landonorris lets fucking go

flowersforlando i need this couple to happen fuck steiner

smoooooothoperator no cause power couple for real

yourusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 49,671 others

yourusername: don't let any man tell you that you can't do it

p.s. slagging off your drivers in your book and on national television is more unprofessional than anything i could ever do

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mickschumacher ❤️

danielricciardo as the children say - mother

landonorris forever proud of you y/n

yourusername thank you landinho

maxverstappen1 let's gooooooooo

carlossainz55 tell them !!

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, alexalbon and 772,109 others

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landonorris: what if i told you i don't care, our team chemistry is unmatched

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yourusername not exactly how i thought we were going to do this but i love you silly ❤️

landonorris i love you more

danielricciardo so it is true !!! was about to ask you if you finally grew some balls and asked

landonorris dude don't out me on main

lewishamilton so so happy for you guys !!

yoursricciardo omg parents

lovelylando they make me believe in love for real

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 71,209 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: i'd take all the shit in the world to stay with you ❤️

p.s. let's get that win baby

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violetleclerc i will be seated for lando's maiden win and y/n excellence

landonorris i love you so much (and the win is coming, i can feel it)

yourusername you'll get what you deserve in due time

maxverstappen1 does the camera man not get a shout out?

yourusername thank you for being our personal photographer, not my fault you tackle my phone out of my hands whenever i try to take a pic of you :/

note: hope you enjoyed, i'm finally getting through the requests !! xx

[blradley]

A powerpoint introduction to Liesmyth!

(I swear the next one will actually be in Comic Sans... shout out to @incandescent-creativity for popularizing this medium!)

Anyway...

Do you wanna read a dark, Norse-inspired Adult Fantasy?

Do you wanna read about queer gods causing mayhem?

(literally every single character is queer lmaooooo)

Do you wanna support a queer, multiply disabled author?

Look no further than Liesmyth! We're out on subs at the moment - so, pretty-please reblog this powerpoint if you like the concept! Let's prove to all those prospective publishers that there's an audience for my book!

Image IDs:

All eleven images are power point slides.

Image 1: Title card reading 'Liesmyth: or, how Sigyn ruined everything, by B. L. Radley'. The words are displayed over a person in (...vaguely) Viking-era garb, against a green background. Only a slice of their torso is visible.

Image 2: A picture of an ash tree against a green, cool, mountainous scene. In a yellow text box, words read: Welcome to a world inspired by Norse mythology, where witches can climb through the cosmos using the boughs of an ancient ash tree, and any magic is possible, so long as it is cast with a suitable sacrifice. Yes, it’s basically a Viking Isekai. Shoot me. Then, a quote in italics: I know an ash tree named Yggdrasil, Nine realms cradled in its loamy arms… Prophecy of the Voluspa, verse 19

Image 3: Meet the characters! An image shows a white woman in Viking-era dress, leaning against a fence, looking pensieve. She is introduced as Sigyn Narisdottir. Her quote is: “It’s a God-eat-God world out there…” Below this, there is a description of Sigyn, reading: Just a nice, normal Christian woman from a nice, normal Christian village. (Totally not a gay witch, haha no, why would you suggest such a thing.) After her father is killed by his own God, Þórr, Sigyn has only one chance to free his trapped ghost from eternal torment. She must confront Þórr and slay him in combat. But how can a mortal defeat a God? Traits are bullet pointed at the bottom of the page. Hers are: Ruthless, ambitious, cunning, and desperate.

Image 4: The next character description is of Loki. His quote is “Monsters lost their menace when they huddled crying in the corner. And when you might use them for your own ends.” His image shows a clean-shaven half-naked man sat against a scandinavian-esque backdrop of rugged rocks and dried grass. He is white, with curly red hair, and is looking curiously off to one side. His description reads: The savior of the Gods, or their bane? A framed innocent, or a prophesized murderer? A victim, or a monster? Loki is a man of juxtaposed polarities, not least of which being that he isn’t a man at all. At least, not when it doesn’t suit him. Sigyn knows he’s dangerous. But in the viper nest of Ásgarð’s royal court, he might be her only ally… or her downfall. His traits are: Sly, wily, and 'not to be trusted'.

Image 5: The two characters introduced on this slide are Freyja and Thor. Freyja's image is of an Arab woman staring directly at the camera, expression serene, curly hair falling around her face. Her quote is: “Goddess of beauty. Goddess of desire. All who saw Freyja fell a little in love—but though silken longing stirred in my belly, I wrung it dead, reminding myself that Freyja was a goddess of bloodshed, too.” Her description reads: Queen of the Vanir, Freyja is an ancient and powerful goddess who takes Sigyn as her indentured servant. Her traits are: Proud, cold, and vicious. On the opposite side of the page, Thor's image shows a white, bearded man in an iron helmet glaring into the camera, viking sigils scrawled across his face in charcoal. He is shadowy and menacing. His quote is: “I saw a rainbow flash over a church. I saw a broken sky. I saw the end of everything.” His description is: Eldest prince of the Æsir. Murderer of Sigyn’s father, and countless more beside. The living embodiment of berserker rage, he is the strongest god around – and next to inherit Ásgarð’s throne. Unless Sigyn can stop him. His traits are: Violent, mighty, and 'a storm made flesh'

Image 6: introduces Angrboda and Baldr. Angrboda's image shows a white woman with blonde braids, wearing chain mail and warpaint (black streaks over her face), with a huge axe over one shoulder. Her quote is: “ ‘Sigyn, meet Angrboða: witch of the Ironwoods, god of a lost nation, relic of an elder age, master of magics that not even my darling brother dares dabble in, cosmopolitan worldwalker, mother and father of my children, and—if I might say so—a practitioner of truly superlative strap-game.’ ” Baldr's image is of Assad Zaman, looking wistfully, beautifully, into the camera. His quote is: “Out strode the most beautiful man in all the Nine Worlds. His gentle smile, his topaz eyes, his black curls, the fawn velvet of his cheeks… Oh, warmth radiated from him. I looked at him and felt, for the first time in oh-so-very-long, safe.”

Image 7: introduces Saga and Menglod. Saga's image shows a Black woman in darkness, with facial tattoos and a nose ring. She raises her eyes to the camera, pulling back a dark hood, her expression difficult to read. Her quote is: “In another version of this tale, I stayed with Sága. We travelled to Ljósálfheim every winter—one for every six of Vanaheim’s years—and raised foundlings as our own (for ever were the elvish freer with their loves than those of my world). But in this tale, we reached Freyja’s palace, and I had a dream.” Her description is: Prophet, witch, worldwalker. The woman Sigyn left behind. Menglod's image shows a Black woman smiling slightly, slyly, as she looks back over her shoulder, her natural hair framing her face. Her quote is: “If I tended the hearth in Freyja’s chamber, I left ash on her floors. If I swept the ash, I left streaks invisible to any eyes but Menglǫð’s. If I breathed, I did so far too loudly and regularly, and if I were a considerate soul, I would stop.” Her description is: Freyja’s attendant, and Sigyn’s main rival for her favor.

Image 8: So, like, wtf happens? Set against a background of dramatic red-on-black fire is a description of the book's plot, as follows: Crumbling kingdoms. Hungering Gods. One woman who will end the worlds. Loki, Norse god of fire and mischief, will be tortured until the end of time. And he shall deserve every minute. At least, that’s how the story goes. Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every genderfluid trickster-god is a spouse who darns his socks, plots his victories and keeps his secrets, as well as her own. After a thousand years of agony, Loki looks to the woman who kneels by his side – his jailer, his torturer, his wife – and asks for a different story. Hers.

Image 9: a continuation of the plot from the previous slide, this time with a cool blue lake as the background, with a viking-style ship floating atop its surface. The image feels less calming, more unnerving in its stillness and the lack of human life. The description reads as follows: Down with the gods. So swore Sigyn, a young mortal woman, after watching her father die at godly hands. One millennium later, she has joined the same pantheon she once despised. Now, as Ragnarǫk approaches – the end of all Nine Worlds – Sigyn narrates the tale of the Norse Gods’ fall, and her own.

Image 10: Themes. A picture of two crossed axes accompanies a list of themes, which are: 1) Revenge. What is a life worth? And what would you give up, to avenge the life of someone you love? 2) Corruption. Can you ever fix a broken system from the inside? Or will it, inevitably, consume you? and 3) Divinity. What does it mean, to become a god? What might you lose along the way?

Image 11: A picture of Loki as a woman, with red hair, dressed in a Viking-style dress and sat on the edge of a Scandinavian dock, accompanies text that reads: This book is for you if you like... Queer-led, queer-written fantasy, with main wlw and nonbinary characters! Court drama and political intrigue, mixed with a sizzling dash of mythology! A prophecy that cannot be averted; a tragedy that cannot be outrun…

[flowersforfrancis]

Who's your favourite TSH character and why?? Thank you!

Francis. Why: (A question I believe you’ll regret asking as I’m simply incapable of shutting up. (Skip to the end if you don’t want to read a myriad quotes from a book you’ve obviously already read))

— “Cubitum Eamus” “what?” “Nothing”

— “Does it ever strike you, in a horrible sort of way, how funny this is?”

— “Kind of a Jean Cocteau touch, isn’t it?”

— In reference to Francis: ‘I thought (erroneously) that he dressed like Alfred Douglas, or the Comte de Montesquiou..’

— ‘Francis, stooping to talk to a cat on a doorstep’

— ‘..Francis, in a swish of black cashmere and cigarette smoke’

— ‘I saw Francis Abernathy stalking across the meadow like a black bird, his coat flapping dark and crowlike in the wind’

— ‘he said mockingly’

— “Demigods,” said Francis, laughing. “We could sit on thrones in the town square”

— ‘Though Francis may or may not have been homosexual - and could just as easily have been a really dangerous type of ladies man - he was certainly of that vulpine, well dressed, unflappable sort..’

— ‘The pebbled drive was silver in the moonlight. Francis was standing in the shadows under some trees. When he saw us coming he stepped suddenly onto the lighted path. “Boo,” he said.’

— The country house. Just the country House.

— Francis and Richard’s relationship. I just adore it.

—*Francis cooking*

— “For my bath”

— ‘Francis sat curled in the window seat with a plate of little sandwiches in his lap, reading, in French, the Memoires of the Duc De Saint-Simon…He had gone to several schools in Europe and spoke excellent French, though he pronounced it with the same lazy, snob accent as his English; sometimes I got him to help me with my own own lessons in first-year French, tedious little stories about Marie and Jean-Claude going to tabac, which he read aloud in a languishing, hilarious drawl that sent everyone into hysterics.’

— ‘he was singing, and his high, clear voice, slightly out of key, floated out the kitchen window’

— ‘ “Really,” said Francis, I think I just need an Alka-Seltzer.’

— ‘Francis, Barefoot and still in his bathrobe, stepped over rocks and branches, balancing his glass of ginger ale. Once we got to the lake he waded in, up to his knees, and beckoned dramatically like Saint John the Baptist.’

— “Mother of god”

— ‘To my surprise Francis laughed, a humorless little snort’ 

— ‘Francis, lightning a new cigarette of the end of old one.’

— ‘He held up an imaginary newspaper. “Crazed Hippies Indicted for Rural Thrill-Killing”. “Cult slaying of Old Abe So-and-So” ’

— ‘ “After a minute or two-“ “it was only a few seconds,’ Henry said. “- after a minute..” ’

— “Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not”

— ‘ “you idiot,” he said chuckling. “Did you know your shirt’s on inside out?” ’

— ‘ “Well I know what I’m going to do”, said Francis. He stood up unsteadily and pulled with his forefinger at his collar. Startled I looked up at him and he laughed at my suprise. “I want to sleep,” he said, with a melodramatic roll of his eye, “dormir plutot que vivre!” ’

Anyway, sorry, sorry. I’ll stop before I just write out the entirety of Francis’s lines.

In the end he’s just simply relatable; I too am a queer, anxious, dramatic, admittedly contemptuous, smoker, who makes out with boys (and others) solely because they’re ‘there’ (let’s say this as if it isn’t because I have a habit of destroying/avoiding relationships), who traipses around in elegant black coats, and drinks far too much whisky and red wine. Oh and… I’m also a hypochondriac who despises doctors appointments… And no, this isn’t me saying I’m drawn to Francis because oh, he’s like me. It’s more of a strange idolization of sorts. Of someone who feels like an idyllic version of myself. And so, being the self hating - yet narcissistic - boy that I am, in summary favor Francis.

[tiktaalic]

im moving to dfw from seattle this summer. impart your wisdom, if you would

It ROCKS to live in a real city. The factory in deep ellum in Dallas is a lovely little music venue. Denton’s a college town so it has a killer music scene. Bishop arts district was lovely when I was a kid idk how it looks in the last decade tho. Whataburger is Fine but the important thing is it’s open at 2 am when you’re drunk. The Fort Worth zoo is better than the Dallas zoo and it’s one of the best in the country. Carshon’s is an awesome Jewish cash only deli over by the zoo. Dallas has the biggest and first half price books store and across the street is a little family owned German restaurant where they play accordion on Friday/sat nights. I never kicked around in Dallas too much but Fort Worth has a pretty robust museum district. The Amon carter ROCKS it’s a free art museum with a bunch of classical exhibits and you only have to pay if you want to see some specific temporary installation. I saw Judith slaying holofernes there (not there anymore) it fucking rocks. Honestly I don’t find the stockyards that impressive I would just spend the $12 bucks on the cowgirl museum or some other western museum there are plenty. The perot is awesome and in Dallas. The stock show is fine it’s like any other little fair/carnival. Good way to kill a weekend if you need to kill a weekend. The state fair is crazy go see that thing. Oh there’s a beautiful on the water sculpture let me find it hold on. The fair park lagoon.

It of course goes without saying that you can’t throw a rock without hitting a restaurant that’ll blow your dick off. Ummmm. If you’re driving in Dallas. Stay safe out there. Anecdotally I’ve seen more drivers weave like assholes in the pnw but Dallas is sometimes a 90 mph minimum in the right lane kind of situation. BUGS ARE REAL ! You will hear cicadas for the first time in your life it’s a beautiful summer experience. Skeeter spray a must if you’re outside after like 5pm. There’ll be like PSAs on billboards or mailing adverts about How To Prevent Mosquitoes. Basically don’t have any standing water in your yard and you’re good. House geckos :-). If you’re in the city you don’t have to worry about ticks or snakes but they do exist and are something to be wary of if you’re ever called to tromp through the woods. You are going to find summers unbearable. Everybody’s gonna have AC you’ll be fine inside but you are going to complain about triple degree summers and how you can’t go outside. Nothing to do about that one except carry around 64 oz ice water to drink and pour on your head. Liquor laws are stricter which means no hard alcohol in gas stations / convenience stores / grocery stores you have to go to a liquor store. Also you can’t buy alcohol before noon on Sunday. Oh my god. The sun. You’re going to see the sun soooooo much. And there’ll be thunderstorms! Also Dallas Fort Worth Are two different cities 45 minutes apart that you have to drive through Other real cities to get to each other through. Seattle on the left DFW on the right. For comparison.

Also like. You know how the i5 corridor is like. Okay I’m driving through the woods for 3 hours and seeing a town every hour I can get gas 10 exits from now. Highways in texas between Dallas and Fort Worth are like ok I’m driving past flat yellow field and there’s a gas station at every exit for the next 30 exits. Different if you leave DFW! You can get empty field stretches coming in and out of houston and on your way to west texas and pretty much any drive longer than an hour that’s not. Straight from Dallas to Fort Worth. I loveeee the local public radio station. KXT I still listen to it in my car daily. Um. That’s my list of #cultural differences. And places to go 👍

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

ROUND TWO

Text form and links under read more

Just a reminder, these are one day polls!

SET 1

MATCH ONE: Lament for Icarus vs Untitled (the angel came to me in a fever hallucination, perched upon my bed as I returned from the bathroom)

MATCH TWO: Figures vs Hubble Deep Field

MATCH THREE: Bath Curtain vs Une Martyre

MATCH FOUR: Can't Help Myself vs Rape

SET 2

MATCH ONE: A Walk at Dusk vs Diary Page

MATCH TWO: Dead of Night vs Christina's World

MATCH THREE: Untitled (I’m Turning Into A Specter Before Your Very Eyes And I’m Going To Haunt You) vs Lustmord

MATCH FOUR: Untitiled (Zdzisław Beksiński) vs The Fallen Angel

SET 3

MATCH ONE: Device to Root Out Evil vs Fifty Days at Iliam: The Fire That Consumes All Before It

MATCH TWO: Exotic Bodies vs Doubting Thomas

MATCH THREE: Somebody Fell From Aloft vs Anguish

MATCH FOUR: Cat in Obsolete Bath vs Salvator Mundi (Saviour of the World)

SET 4

MATCH ONE: Symphony of the Sixth Blast Furnace vs Tarpaulin

MATCH TWO: Khajuraho Group of Monuments vs ปราสาทสัจธรรม (The Sanctuary of Truth)

MATCH THREE: The Weather vs The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit

MATCH FOUR: Statue of Vincent and Theo van Gogh vs Judith Slaying Holofernes

SET 5

MATCH ONE: Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands) vs Chauvet Cave Bear

MATCH TWO: Winged Victory of Samothrace vs Crouching Aphrodite

MATCH THREE: Kūya-Shonin vs Arena #7 (Bears)

MATCH FOUR: Enbu (炎舞) (Dancing in the Flames) vs Belfast to Byzantium

SET 6

MATCH ONE: The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayan vs Nighthawks

MATCH TWO: Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate vs Forgotten Dreams

MATCH THREE: Pixeles (a group of 9 works) vs War Pieta

MATCH FOUR: Ajax and Cassandra vs Nāve (Death)

SET 7

MATCH ONE: Meeting on the Turret Stair vs Stańczyk

MATCH TWO: Closeness Lines Over Time vs The Maple Trees at Mama, the Tekona Shrine and Tsugihashi Bridge

MATCH THREE: Survival Series: In a Dream You Saw a Way vs The Kitchen Table Series

MATCH FOUR: In the Grip of Winter vs NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt

SET 8

MATCH ONE: Blue Plate Special vs Mosque-Cathedral of Córdoba

MATCH TWO: Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray vs Moby Dick

MATCH THREE: how to look at art vs St. Sebastian

MATCH FOUR: Carroña vs The Dog

SET 9

MATCH ONE: David vs The Other Side

MATCH TWO: Starry Night vs Headress - Shadae

MATCH THREE: Woman with Dead Child (Frau mit totem Kind) vs Siroče na majčinom grobu (Orphan on Mother's Grave)

MATCH FOUR: Fighting Against SARS Memorial Architectural Scene (弘揚抗疫精神建築景觀) vs The Hull

SET 10

MATCH ONE: Worship vs Wheatfield with Crows

MATCH TWO: Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X vs The Tragedy

MATCH THREE: Judith and the Head of Holofernes vs oh god i had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but i’m too drunk for words

MATCH FOUR: I am happy because everyone loves me vs Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan

SET 11

MATCH ONE: Water-Lilies, Reflection of a Weeping Willow vs The Grief of the Pasha

MATCH TWO: Passion vs Two Earthlings

MATCH THREE: Seer Bonnets vs Clytemnestra after the Murder

MATCH FOUR: “Untitled” (Perfect Lovers)/The Lovers (TIE) vs Kedai Ubat Jenun

SET 12

MATCH ONE: The Apotheosis of War vs Mouth

MATCH TWO: The Icebergs vs Maman

MATCH THREE: The Book of Kells Folio 188r: Luke carpet page vs Dome of the Rock mosaics

MATCH FOUR: Rowan Leaves and Hole vs Le Désespéré (The Desperate Man)

SET 13

MATCH ONE: Deimos vs Prudence

MATCH TWO: Siberian Ice Maiden shoulder tattoo vs Transi de René de Chalon (Cadaver Tomb of René of Chalon)

MATCH THREE: The Day vs Jatiya Sangsad Bhaban জাতীয় সংসদ ভবন (National Parliament House)

MATCH FOUR: Juventud de Baco (Bacchus Youth) vs Oath of the Horattii closeup

SET 14

MATCH ONE: St. Francis vs Thunder Raining Poison

MATCH TWO: Among the Waves vs Sagrada Família stained-glass windows

MATCH THREE: Noonday Heat vs Gielda Plakatu

MATCH FOUR: The Garden of Earthly Delights vs Kuoleman puutarha (The Garden of Death)

SET 15

MATCH ONE: da oracle vs Panel from Fun Home

MATCH TWO: La Mort de Marat (The Death of Marat) vs Düsseldorf 4 (Museum Kunst Palast)

MATCH THREE: Capriccio vs José y Maria

MATCH FOUR: Lágrimas De Sangre (Tears of Blood) vs Boy Staring at an Apparition

SET 16

MATCH ONE: The Gran Hotel Ciudad de México Art Nouveau interior vs Unfinished Painting

MATCH TWO: Memorial to a Marriage vs A Few Small Nips

MATCH THREE: Saturn Devouring His Son vs Lamentation over the Dead Christ

MATCH FOUR: Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party vs Agnus

ROUND 3

SET 1

MATCH ONE: Lament for Icarus vs Hubble Deep Field

MATCH TWO: Bath Curtain vs Can't Help Myself

SET 2

MATCH ONE: Diary Page vs Dead of Night

MATCH TWO: Untitled (I’m Turning Into A Specter Before Your Very Eyes And I’m Going To Haunt You) vs Untitled (Zdzisław Beksiński)

SET 3

MATCH ONE: Fifty Days at Iliam: The Fire That Consumes All Before It vs Doubting Thomas

MATCH TWO: Anguish vs Salvator Mundi (Saviour of the World)

SET 4

MATCH ONE: Symphony of the Sixth Blast Furnace vs Khajuraho Group of Monuments

MATCH TWO: The Weather vs Judith Slaying Holofernes

SET 5

MATCH ONE: Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands) vs Winged Victory of Samothrace

MATCH TWO: Arena #7 (Bears) vs Belfast to Byzantium

SET 6

MATCH ONE: Nighthawks vs Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate

MATCH TWO: Pixeles (a group of 9 works) vs Nāve (Death)

SET 7

MATCH ONE: Stańczyk vs Closeness Lines Over Time

MATCH TWO: The Kitchen Table Series vs NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt

SET 8

MATCH ONE: Mosque-Cathedral of Córdoba vs Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray

MATCH TWO: how to look at art vs Carroña

SET 9

MATCH ONE: The Other Side vs Starry Night

MATCH TWO: Woman with Dead Child (Frau mit totem Kind) vs The Hull

SET 10

MATCH ONE: Wheatfield with Crows vs Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X

MATCH TWO: oh god i had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but i’m too drunk for words vs Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan

SET 11

MATCH ONE: The Grief of the Pasha vs Two Earthlings

MATCH TWO: Clytemnestra after the Murder vs "Untitled" (Perfect Lovers) and The Lovers

SET 12

MATCH ONE: Mouth vs Maman

MATCH TWO: Dome of the Rock mosaics vs Le Désespéré (The Desperate Man)

SET 13

MATCH ONE: Deimos vs Siberian Ice Maiden shoulder tattoo

MATCH TWO: The Day vs Juventud de Baco (Bacchus Youth)

SET 14

MATCH ONE: Thunder Raining Poison vs Sagrada Família stained-glass windows

MATCH TWO: Noonday Heat vs Kuoleman puutarha (The Garden of Death)

SET 15

MATCH ONE: Panel from Fun Home vs Düsseldorf 4 (Museum Kunst Palast)

MATCH TWO: José y Maria vs Lágrimas De Sangre (Tears of Blood)

SET 16

MATCH ONE: Unfinished Painting vs Memorial to a Marriage

MATCH TWO: Saturn Devouring His Son vs Agnus

[uravitypng]

OMG. LANA. valentine’s day event !!?!?! pls for me? 💌

💌 cute little desc: enfj libra! annoying but in a very cute slay way maybe? loud, extroverted, loves loves loves yapping. the funniest person around probably. very flirty. enjoys being loved. LOVES being crushed on. little bit of a god complex rocking? eldest daughter stereotype to a t. super work driven, love love love to work. always busy, cannot function when i’m not busy. i enjoy video games and reading and napping and lazy days, which i know sounds like it contradicts the aforementioned always busy, but it doesn’t. and all while being just like… around people, not necessarily a lot of people or like doing anything w said people but just being in the presence of people.

💌 love of my life: nanami !!?!? (or, if u have better ideas for the following, you go for it too, but i’m on a real big nanami kick rn: ♡ bokuto ♡ atsumu ♡ toji)

UGH ANYWAYS. ily!!!! thanks in advance if u do mine??? ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ xoxoxox tori

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈…

are a married couple!

- you first met while you were working at the same company. - slight opposites attracts but not really ?? - gojo is a nuisance to him and has been since they first were introduced, when he found out about you and people said you were introverted and talkative like gojo he thought he wouldn't like you at first. he was obviously very wrong. at the beginning he tried to tell himself that he didn't have feelings for you and if he did they are purely physical but he knew he was lying to himself. - talking about gojo, nanami doesn't like gojo hanging around with you too much. he's not a jealous person and he doesn't have any doubts about your relationships but you're his wife and he feels like gojo tries to steal your attention. - he says your flirting doesn't affect him BUT it totally does. as soon as you're alone he's all over you. this man is about restraint but you definitely test it with your flirting. his face is completely stoic like normal until it's just the two of you and he's got his hands all over you. - as you like keeping busy and working hard kento makes sure that you don't overwork. he appreciates you're work driven, it's one of the things he really admires about you. he makes sure you look after yourself by not exhausting yourself by working too hard. nanami doesn't work overtime and he doesn't want you to come home after work feeling super tired and drained. - at first glance he doesn't look to be very sociable but you know he can be. - your humour together mixes really well often making each other laugh. nanami's quips and one liners told often with a straight face always makes you smile. - you're both readers! meaning that you'll both read a book in bed before going to sleep and you'll suggest each other books that you think the other will like and discuss them. even if nanami has no interest in the book you're currently reading he'll still listen to you talk about it and encourage you to tell him all about because he just loves hearing you talk about something you're passionate about. - kento loves a good lazy day together, especially after he's found work to be rather stressful in the week. nothing is better to him than staying at home with his wife having a lay in and then watching some tv or watch you play video games while he reads in the background. - he'll constantly call you his wife to people, 'my wife made it,' 'me and my wife went out to dinner last night' etc.

i really hope you like this tori!! i've never written for nanami before so i hope i did alright with your nanami kick atm!! ily2!! (don't tell anyone but even if my event was closed and i wasn't doing any more i'd still do one for you)♡♡♡♡♡

valentine's day event

[gyorogyoro]

Tomodachi Life Mii Dump

A bit different than my usual posting but feel free to take these Miis for yourself. I just evicted half of the residents from my island, who had almost filled up the entire building. It's why I don't make OCs. They can be edited in case you want to change some features. May add more codes to this post some other time.

Concert Hall Song Collection

Might as well turn this into another masterpost. Note that some songs are character-specific.

Metal

Ass on Fire

Somebody come help・My ass is on fire・It’s burning like hell・I drop to my knees・Don’t know how to roll・So I stop and・Let the flames eat my ass・Until all’s left is ash

It’s Not Great To Be King

It’s not great to be king・When your knights are complete dumb asses・Like what the fuck?・Can this get any worse?・This is why I’m going to・Execute them・I am too proud for this・Worthless boy band shit

Threat Level Egg

Oh my god what just happened?!・The almighty Beast King got martyred!・It's that bald dude・What the hell is he?!!・I'll just dig myself・out of this horror.・I hope he won't find me・and martyr me too.

Pop

Beaky Chibi (Djehuty)

I judge people・That's what I do・I'm pretty good at it・The book says we need to play nice・But bawkak!・Who listens to・the book, am I right?・I make things go BOOM!・Boom boom boom! Pew pew pew!・Nun deez fools know how to have a gud time・Do you want some buk?

Mr. Saddlebags

Di de di da・Di de doe doe・Di ba di de doe・Di de de di de doe day・That's it!・Yeehaw! Ha!・Ha! Here we go!・Di ba di de doe・Di de di da di de doe・Di de de di de de doe day・That's all there is to it!

Salad Bar (Sutekh)

I love eating・tossed salads・with their leafy goodness.・Yeah yeah you know that it's true!・Yummy!・Oh my I love eating greens・especially lettuce・although this dressing tastes weird.・WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT SALAD DRESSING!・HERU, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Young Beauty

How do I look?・Yes, I'm rich!・Watch and learn!・Aren't you an adorable thing・Darling・You're not ready・For what you are about to face・I give the orders!・Keep young and beautiful・Forbidden fruit's the most tempting...・Victory looks good on me!

Rock & Roll

Freedom Retriever (Anpu)

You lookin' for・some freedom kid?・Let's light 'em up!・It's so glorious!・Rockets red glare.・Bombs burstin' in air!・The bigger they are・The harder they fall・Freedom never dies・Stars and stripes forever!

Return The Slab

The Man in Gauze・The Man in Gauze・King Ramses・He’s no Santa Claus・Return The Slab・Or I send the curses・First comes the flood・Then plays my song・No stoppin’ these locusts・Until you return my damn slab!

Trash

Taking the trash・Out to the dumps・It stinks like ass・Out in the dumps・Debris starts driftin'・Scraps start scatterin'・Rubbish starts rollin'・Garbage starts gatherin'・Get out the way・Lest the trash thrashes you down

Rap

Heavy Hitter (Anpu)

Everyday's a hustle!・My life's a bustle!・Only one man leaves this ring!・Get knocked out.・I ain't done yet・You started this fool.・This hood ain't safe!・Yo momma so ugly・She turn Medusa to stone・Them streets are dangerous・Gotta keep up these gains・Keep on keepin' on・Nothing two fists can't take!

Sandstorm (Sutekh)

Run them thru, run them thru・My wrath is unleashed・Face the crushing sands・Do you feel that?・The sands stirring・To stand against me・is to stand against the sands・Through chaos and strife・The strong survive・I see the path ahead!・The age of Set's begun!・My power’s unbounded・All hail Lord Set!

Ballad

Love, Sacrificed

If everyone saw you how I did・Maybe they too will shed tears for you・An innocent punished・for sins not of his own・If only l'd been there to halt・Your greatly undeserved demise・You'd still be here with us・Alas...・The witch has hunted you・So I'll seek her・And I'll slay her・To avenge・My love

Opera

Jackal Knight (Anpu)

I aim to serve・the royal king・I playeth well wit sword・None shall pass・I shall giveth thee a warrior’s death・Thou shalt suffer!・To hell with thee!・I shall guard my king・and realm at any cost・Charge, my brethren・Die by mine own sword!

Judgement Day (Djehuty)

I have been charged・With judging their fates・& have found them guilty・Now you die・Your day of judgement is nigh・So many names・In the dead book・Give me the bird’s-eye view・Let us do this by the book・Fight the judge of・the dead and fall

Mad Alice

You fear the truth・You live in shadows・retreat into the sterile・safety of your・own self-delusions・or risk inevitable・annihilation・If you destroy me・you destroy yourself・You'll lose yourself・forever

Techno

Death Sentence (Anpu)

With this I bring death・Come look into my eyes and・Gaze upon death itself・I must hurry・My enemies await judgement・You've been judged・Your heart weighs・heavy with greed・Now join me in the・realm of the dead・let the eternal darkness embrace you

Musical

Beauty of the Beast

Look around you there are creatures・of all sizes and shapes.・Isn't that wonderful・to behold the beauty・in even the strangest of beasts?・The beauty that ends up・becoming too much.・Nooo, take it all back!・Can't feel this way oh no・I'm hot for monsters!

K9 (Anpu)

I need everyone to stay calm・Let's bust some crooks!・All gods are equal in・the eyes of the law!・Anything you say can and will・be used against you.・Don't do the crime・if you can't do the time.・I'm too old for this.・Anyone got a donut?

The Great Circus Roast

Are you ready for the best roast・of the Cirque des Cartes?・As the circus ringleader・I am quite excited・So get ready viewers・The roast will start now・Cerebella's a whore・Feng's a flatbread・Beatrix is a bitch・Taliesin's a fuckboy

Use a Line (Confessions)

Dump the Chad and get yourself a Vlad.

[bishops-severed-torso]

You wanted the list so here it is, all the various horror related songs they've released thus far!

First, from their The Silver Scream album we have:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (The American Nightmare)

Friday the 13th (Thank God It's Friday)

Halloween (Stabbing in the Dark)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (SAVAGES)

Saw (The Jig is Up)

The Crow (A Grave Mistake)

Jaws (Rocking the Boat)

The Shining (Enjoy Your Slay)

The Devil's Rejects (Freak Flag)

Edward Scissorhands (The World in My Hands)

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Merry Axe-mas)

An American Werewolf in London (Love Bites)

IT (IT is the End)

Scream (Your Number's Up)

Next from their The Silver Scream 2: Welcome to Horrorwood album:

Cabin Fever (A Rash Decision)

Child's Play (Assault and Batteries)

Psycho (The Shower Scene)

Pet Semetary (Funeral Derangements)

Resident Evil (Rainy Day)

American Psycho (Hip to be Scared)

My Bloody Valentine (Take Your Pick)

Hellraiser (The Box)

The Fly (F.L.Y.)

Hostel (Wurst Vacation)

The Evil Dead (Ex-Mørtis)

Candyman (Farewell II Flesh)

The Silence of the Lambs (Meat and Greet)

And while you're probably only interested in two or four of the songs from their first album where they started doing what they're known for now, Every Trick in the Book (inspired by various tragedy and horror literature), I'm gonna list them all anyways cause they're all complete bops and works of art (pun intended dhdjdkdhd):

Animal Farm (Nature of the Beast)

The Exorcist (Communion of the Cursed)

Dracula (Bloodbath & Beyond)

Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors (The Plot Sickens)

Romeo and Juliet (Star-Crossed Enemies)

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Me, Myself & Hyde)

Go Ask Alice (Alice)

The Diary of a Young Girl (The People in the Attic)

Tess of the d'Ubervilles (Tess-Timoney)

Carrie (Hell in the Hallways)

And as a bonus song, this one is just a Stacey's Mom parody but I do think you would get a kick out of Jason's Mom which is in my view an absolutely hilarious parody cover that makes me giggle every time I hear it fhdjdkdkshd

I need to set up a movie marathon or something based on this

[llycaons]

Ep1: wuji still fucking slays

I've watched some parts of this show more often than other parts, but I would estimate this is my...fourth or fifth rewatch, it has been a solid two years

god I forgot how long the op is. unlike netflix, viki doesn't have a 'skip intro' option

SECT LEADERS YAO AND OUYANG APPEAR BEFORE ANY OTHER NAMED CHARACTER BESIDES WWX. SCREAM

read in a joke yaoyang fic once that they did attack each other during that fight but I assumed the fic author made it up

editing is really overwrought, especially in this first ep. far too many fast zooms imo. seems clumsy and juvenile, tho I know a lot of editing on this show is really good. sets and music and (eventual) character work more than make up for it

don't really like this first ep tbh.

subtitles are WAY different than netflix's. I can hardly follow what the characters are saying sometimes

wwx's voice is way deeper than I remember, too

this confused me so bad but it's nice to have a reminder that wwx IS in his og body, but mxy always concealed his face so the mos don't actually know what he looks like and so wwx showing up to replace him doesn't seem weird to them. they must have been very similar in height, build, skin tone, etc. lucky coincidence

wwx looks so handsome in those beige robes gotta say

he mentions that peanuts and wine both don't taste as good as they used to, which is a curious addition that I assume is temporary because he doesn't mention it again. and because he's chugging that emperor's smile later like it's the only solace in this cold harsh world

WUJI!!!! the emotions I felt when it started during the first flashback to lwj....GOD what a fucking good song. all the music in this show is good but wuji is just hitting it out of the park. ACHING yearning. HIGH romance. POWERFUL pathos.

oh shit ding and tong were sweethearts in the book but I forgot they were also in the show, tho only briefly

this was also in the book. they have protective sigils sewn into their robes, which is implied here but I guess I missed it when I watched it the first few times. honestly a lot of this is still quite confusing to me

you know I give lsz a lot of crap for being so boring but it was genuinely very nice to see him be like 'please respect disabled people and be kind to them and believe them when they make accusations against people more powerful than them' bc wwx does a similar thing in the next episode and I feel like it's one of those things that gets swept under the rug amidst the louder themes of the story but besides just being a 'good' and polite boy he genuinely does care about and advocate for people who are denigrated and mistreated by the more powerful figures in their society

is it just me or is this shot kind of horny

wwx's reaction to lwj actually does make sense to me because he's still clearly mooning over him but he also can't trust that lwj will be on his side considering that in the past he kind of wasn't and wwx is probably still a bit paranoid and mistrustful so it makes sense? he's very sad about like. being reminded of him + knowing what he can't have and also is kind of freaked out at the idea of seeing him again

I FORGOT THEIR MONEY IS CHUNKS OF SPRAYPAINTED ROCK AND STARTED LAUGHING OUT LOUD. I LOVE THIS SHOW

EYYYY LITTLE APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love little apple bro

THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!! RED AND BLACK LEGEND IS BACK!!!!

Personal highlights: ep1

wwx going 'lan zhan' all heartfelt and gutted when playing wuji on the piece of grass

sexy lwj hand shot

the way that money looks

[totaldramamovies]

Total Drama Movies- Episode 1- “Lights, Camera, Chaos!”

Chris: Hello and welcome to the largest Total Drama season ever! We have 28 brand new contestants that will stir up more drama that any cast has before! These contestants will get into teams, and by the end of the episode, whichever team has lost the challenge, will be up for elimination! The team will vote someone out every episode, and this process will repeat till everyone but one is left, and they will win ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS! This competition will take place in a crummy old movie studio north of Toronto, and all of the challenges will be themed with their own genre! Well, we should probably move on and meet these 28 contestants! This is.. TOTAL! DRAMA! MOVIES!

*Cuts to ferry sailing to the movie studio*

Eliza: *Sewing dress* Hey, do you know when we will arrive? I need about 15 more minutes to finish my broadway dress!

Maxim: *Looks up from book he’s reading* Uh… I don’t think you’re gonna need a broadway dress… It’s a film lot, not a theatre.

Eliza: Eh, whatever…

Bailey: Did you know I made the first ever dress?!! I also went to Mars and met aliens, and I hold world record for eating the most cellphones-

Eliza & Maxim: We don’t care!

*Pauline notices Wyatt with Nintendo Switch*

Pauline: Oh, you play video games too?

Wyatt: Yea😎😎😎😎 im kinda epic lolz😎😤😂💪💪 im soooo MLG 😂😂👌🔥

Pauline: Oh..!

*Camera pans to more contestants*

William: Hey! What’s happening?

*Awkward Silence*

Cece: I don’t want, nor care enough to talk to you.. Lemme just get this straight, if you haven’t been on atleast 10 Disney Cruises and ridden in a Lamborghini, I do NOT want to talk to you, kay? 

Ines: *Amused* Heh, classic rich girl.. 

Jamil: Yep. Hey, if we’re on same teams, you wanna become an alliance?

Ines:  Yeah sure! We’re both pretty strong! Were you in the military?

Jamil: Not yet, still in training, but I’m almost ready!

*Camera pans again*

Dwaeji: Ohayo..!! ^o^ Im so sugoiii! Nya >w<!!

Andres: No way 💀💀

Dwaeji: Konnichiwa!! Onionhaseyo 🥺🥺!! U support RCTA??

Andres: No.. get out of here!

Eddy: Erm.. ya.. according to my calculations, “Dwaeji” means pig in Korean.. It’s clear you didn’t do you’re research.. ☝️🤓

Rajiv: Hahah, you’re name is “pig”? Nice. *High fives Eddy*

Dwaeji: Ok fine Eddy-san and Rajiv-kun.. my real name is Emily.. but don’t tell anyone, you bakas.. 😔😔 UnU

Dennis: *sighs* This trip is taking forever..

Tamia: I know, right? It’s nice to have someone like you on the ride.

Dennis: Yeah, I guess you’re right. 2 pessimists are better than one.

Dominique: *Excitedly* Oh come on, it’s not that bad! *shouts* Hey everyone! How are you guys!

Francesca: *Happily* Good, I guess.

Boris: Meh, I’m bored.

Kenny: *Staring at Dominique*

Dominique: What?

Kenny: Hey.. you wanna maybe.. uh.. go out some time? 😏

Dominique: *Concerned* Uh… *awkward laugh* How are YOU guys!

Fredrick: Um.. I have to address YOU first. 🍷🗿 NOBODY talks up to the sigma. 🍷🍷🗿🗿🗿🗿 Where’s the buffet?

Dominique: um.. Why is everyone here so wierd..

Leopold: *Picking nose* I know, right?

*Camera moves on once again*

Francesca: Okay! I think I’m ready for this! I got this!

Fangxiu: Girl yes 🥰 Get ready to slay this competition away 😍

Francesca: Um, okay?

Charlotte: Don’t worry, darling, half these contestants look like they can’t count past 5. 

Taniyah: Girl, they don’t look that dumb..

Pietro: HEY! That’s not true! One! Two! Three! Four! uh.. Five! uh… um.. ah, crap..

Roman: Hah! Bro, you’re stupid, I could count to six!

Pierro: Oh yeah? Prove it.

Roman: You’re on bro!

Taniyah: *Looks at Charlotte* Alright, guess I was too nice.

Sigita: Hey, you guys ready to lose for me? 

*Everyone stops*

Dominique: Oh my god, you’re so pretty!! How do you get your hair that silky?!

Sigita: I don’t know, I might just be effortlessly beautiful.

Grace: Hey! I’m better though! Look at how preppy I am!

*Everyone ignores*

Grace: HEY! LOOK AT MY PREPPYNESS!! 😡

*The boat starts rocking a lot*

Boris: Hey, uh.. Is it just me or did this boat get faster?

*Cuts to captain’s headquarters, an intern is driving the ferry*

Intern: Heh, time to give them a small surprise!

*Ferry crashes into rocks, and the boat shakes*

Dominique: What was that?!

Fredrick: Crap, that was me. But I won’t say sorry since I’m sigma and saying sorry is such a beta move 🍷🗿

Eliza: *Sniffs* Oh god!

*Water enters the room the contestants are in*

Rajiv: Aww man!

Pietro: THE SHIPS SINKING!!

*Everyone jumps off the ferry before its goes underwater*

Dennis: *Quietly* Oh no.. We’re soaked..

Chris: *through megaphone* HEY CONTESTANTS! SWIM TO THE STUDIO NOW! THEN WE WILL HAVE THE FIRST CHALLENGE!

Roman: *Annoyed* Dude.. Really? Right Now!

*Up on dock where Chris is*

Jamil & Ines: We’re first!

Chris: Jamil! Ines! How’s it going?

Ines: This was lightwork!

Jamil! Yeah, swimming was basic training!

Chris: Haha, I wonder if you’ll call the CHALLENGES “lightwork”.

*Boris swims up next*

Chris: Next up is our strongman, Boris!

Boris: Hey, Chris. Is this the place.? Hoping it would be nicer..

Chris: Up next.. The track star, Leopold!

Leopold: Hey chris.

Chris: Model, Sigita!

Sigita: Hey!

Chris: Bad Boy, Andres!

Andres: Yo.

Chris: Pietro & Roman!

Pietro & Roman: Heyy!

Chris: Popular Girl, Cece!

Cece: Ugh..

Chris: Calm Stoic Sweetheart, Charlotte!

Charlotte: Hello.

Chris: Taniyah!

Taniyah: Wasgood, yall?

Chris: Gamer girl, Pauline!

Pauline: Hey Chris!

Chris: Epic Gamer, Wyatt!

Wyatt: Yooo!

Chris: Dominique, Dennis, Tamia, and Kenny!

Dominique: Hello World! :D

Dennis: *Sigh*

Tamia: Hey..

Kenny: I love yall!

Chris: Rajiv & Francesca!

Rajiv: Whats up, dudes!

Francesca: Hey everyone!!

Chris: William & Fangxiu!

William: Hey..?

Fangxiu: IM USING MY ROSE T- 😍

Chris: Maxim, Eliza, and Grace!

Maxim: Hey chris!

Eliza: Same as Maxim!

Grace: It’s so preppy in here!! >o<

Chris: Dwaeji..?

Dwaeji: Ohayo 🥺🥺

Chris: Bailey!

Bailey: I already have a million dollars!

Chris: and.. Eddy!

Eddy: Salutations!

Chris: And that makes… 27? We still have one more person..

*3 Hours Later*

Fredrick: *Slowly doggy paddles to the dock and gets up onto dock finally, breathing heavily* 

Chris: Dude.. you took 3 hours..? To swim 40 feet?

Fredrick: Uh.. I d-did that on p-purpose?? Heheh..?🍷🗿

Jamil: That was sad..

Chris: Anyway, it’s time for you’re first challenge!

Leopold: Don’t we need teams?

Chris: I was getting to that.. The first team WILL be to get into teams! Whichever team takes the longest to create will be up for elimination. Anyway, Get into 4 teams of 7!

Dennis: Tamia, you wanna join become teams?

Tamia: Yeah, Pauline, you wanna join too?

Pauline: Ok!

Ines: Jamil! Since we are creating our own teams, lets be a team!

Jamil: *Flexing Muscles* Yes! We’ll be the strongest team ever!

Dominique: *Looking at Eddy* Eddy, what’s wrong?

Eddy: Erm.. I think I have a bit of a crush on Sigita..

Dominique: Well, why not join teams with her? I can come along with you if you want!

Eddy: Um, ok! Hey Sigita, you wanna be teammates with me and Dominique?

Sigita: Alright, sure I guess..

Dominique: *to Eddy* You did it! Now that she’s on your team, you might have a chance!

Francesca: Hey, Charlotte, you wanna be teammates?

Charlotte: Yes, my darling! How about Taniyah?

Taniyah: Alright!

Fangxiu: CAN I CVME TOO 😍💅

Charlotte: Alright..

Maxim: Hey Eliza, you wanna become teammates?

Eliza: Sure!

Bailey: I’m classified the best teammate ever by 37 of the top 50 universities in the country so I’m joining you two!

Ines: Anyone else wanna join me and Jamil?

Grace: I’ll make this team 200% more preppy!

William: Uh.. I’ll join I guess?

Jamil: Ah, I think we just made the team worse. Eh, Wanna join up with Bailey, Eliza, and Maxim so we have a full team of 7? Eliza and Maxim seem smart, we might need some smarts to balance out Grace and William.

Ines: Keh, sure.

Chris: And the first of four teams are created!

Boris: Hey, Pietro & Roman, you 2 guys seem pretty strong, wanna join me?

Pietro: Sure Dude!!

Roman: Alright Nicee!!

Andres: Yo can I join?

Boris: Sure, you seem competitive! Let’s join Pauline, Dennis and Tamia so we have a full team.

Charlotte: Hmm.. the last ten people look rather horrible.

Taniyah: Now hold on, Leopold is a track runner so hes fast, and Cece is a snobby white girl but she finna be an even bigger pain if she’s on another team, so we can take in those two!

Leopold: Alright!

Cece: Fine, whatever.

Kenny: Hey, Rajiv dude, you wanna join Dominique?

Rajiv: Sure!!

Dominique: Alright, the last 3, Wyatt, Sigma, and Koreaboo. Let’s get Wyatt since he is good with strategy since he’s gamer and.. uh..

Wyatt: Lesgo!!

Leopold: We gotta get one last person for full team!

Taniyah: He’s Right, we gotta get one of the worst two..

Leopold: Uh.. Fredrick!

Cece: *extremely mad* UGH.. WHY?!

Leopold: At least he isn’t as bad as koreaboo Dwaeji!!

Cece: You know what, he just might be..

Chris: Alright! That means Dwaeji will join the losing team! Here are the four teams…

Ines & Jamil’s Team: Bailey, Eliza, Grace, Ines, Jamil, Maxim and William.

Boris’s Team: Andres, Boris, Dennis, Pauline, Pietro, Roman and Tamia.

Charlotte’s Team: Cece, Charlotte, Fangxiu, Francesca, Fredrick, Leopold and Taniyah.

Eddy’s Team: Dominique, Dwaeji, Eddy, Kenny, Rajiv, Sigita, and Wyatt.

Chris: Now, what will these four teams be named?

Andres: the Dead Bodies!!

Grace: Preppy Squad!!! >o<

Fangxiu: the Haunted Poosay-😍😍

Chris: THAT IS ENOUGH! I’ll give you team names!

Andres, Boris, Dennis, Pauline, Pietro, Roman and Tamia, you will be the Mighty Wizards!

*Cheering and Yelling from Team*

Bailey, Eliza, Grace, Ines, Jamil, Maxim and William, you will be the Ferocious Monsters!

*Cheering and Yelling from Team*

Cece, Charlotte, Fangxiu, Francesca, Fredrick, Leopold and Taniyah, you will be the Fearless Warriors!

*Cheering and Yelling from Team*

and since Dominique, Dwaeji, Eddy, Kenny, Rajiv, Sigita, and Wyatt are losing, they’ll be uh.. 4th Thing!!

*Annoyance and confusion*

Chris: Alright, I’ll see you tonight at the arena of losers! In the mean time, I’ll tell you where you guys will sleep!

*The group walks over to 4 run-down campers*

Andres: Eugh.. is this where we are sleeping?!

Grace: Soooo not preppy.. >:(

Chris: Hahah, yep. Don’t worry, the guys and girls get their own rooms, however the campers weren’t originally meant to be split into 2 rooms, so It will be REALLY cramped! 

Eddy: Erm.. actually if they were split in half but still stay the same size-

Chris: I DON’T CARE. Anyway, Get some rest before the elimination ceremony tonight, 4th Thing!

Sigita: God, I can’t believe we’re named that..

(It’s night time now, elimination ceremony takes place up on stage, the 7 are sitting in chairs next to chris, while the 3 other teams watch from the audience. The seven up for elimination are:

Dominique, the Social Butterfly,

Dwaeji, the Asiaboo,

Eddy, the Nerdy Band Kid,

Kenny, the Trashy Simp,

Rajiv, the Chill Guy,

Sigita, the Model, and

Wyatt, the Epic Gamer)

Chris: 4th Thing, you’re off to a bad start! Half the team is joke characters!

Wyatt: OH COME ON!

Dwaeji: So not sugoi.. 🥺

Chris: Okay, the votes from you seven have been submitted! If you’re safe, I’ll call your name and give you will get a famous “Golden Chris Award”! The first one safe is..

SIGITA!

*Sigita grabs her award*

DOMINIQUE!

*Dominique sighs of relief*

RAJIV!

Rajiv: Nicee.!

EDDY!

*Eddy does that stupid take the L dance from fortnite to impress Sigita*

KENNY!

Kenny: Aww yeah!!

Chris: the last two without an award. Wyatt and Dwaeji. Wh-

Wyatt: Wait.. we are both safe? Awesomesauce 🤑🤑

Chris: What are you talking about?

Dwaeji: You said both of our names.

Chris: PRETEND I DIDN’T SAY THAT! The one going home tonight is…

*Wyatt sweats mountain dew*

*Dwaeji sweats Jungkook’s tears*

Chris: Dwaeji. Wyatt, you’re here for another night. Seeya Dwaeji! Or should I say, Emily..

Dwaeji: WAIT.. you KNOW?! NOOOO.. nya.. 😖😖 Heh.. I guess I deserve it..:)

Dominique: Sorry Dwaeji, you’re just so.. uh.. enthusiastic.!!

Dwaeji: Whatever! I don’t need you! I don’t need a million dollars! I have my Bakugo body pillow 🥺🥺..

Chris: Well, you might be wondering how you’ll get home, I have..

*A giant robot with a giant hand slides up on a track*

Chris: We have a giant mechanical Will Smith that will slap you home! Have fun!

Dwaeji: Wait.. what?

*The robot starts charging towards Dwaeji, the arm stretching back before rocketing forward*

Eddy: Oh god.. This looks a bit hardcore, doesn’t it?

Chris: Nah.. I don’t think so..

Will Smith Robot: KEEEEEP. MY WIIIIFE’S. NAAAME. OUUUTCHA. FREEEAKING. MOUUTH!!!

*The hand slaps Dwaeji and she goes flying*

Dwaeji: AHHHHH!!

Chris: Haha, good riddance. Welp, there’s 27 left! Who will leave next? I guess we’ll see next time on.. TOTAL! DRAMA! MOVIES!

——————————————————————————————————

Hey everyone! This was the first part to my Total Drama fanseason. It’s definitely interesting.? I’m thinking that if this project get enough support, I’ll let the viewers vote in comments instead of the contestants. If you want that to happen, you could follow, comment, or even just like! I’m not asking for much either, just a few supporting and consistent commenters, I’ll start viewer voting! Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow for the next episode!

[patt-writes-stuff]

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

[janiedean]

Prompt. Book canon setting. Jaime can hear Brienne's thoughts.

*spins wheel* LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH THIS ONE and sorry for the lateness anon!!

warnings: set during asos/the road trip so expect what canon offered including the attempted rape scene

--

buy me a coffee | commissions open

--

He doesn't hear her until -

Until sometime after they hack the hand off.

He doesn't know when he realizes for sure because he's too fucking out of it, but when Shagwell says that stupid fucking line about the two of them being lovers while they were chained to each other on the horse and wondering who out of the two of them is the knight and the maiden, he clearly hears her saying you wouldn't know a true knight if Arthur Dayne himself vouched for them and for a moment he wonders if she's gone mad, but -

But no one does or says anything about it.

Which - they hit them more than once if they tried to speak out of turn, or at least they hit her, he was entirely beyond it, so it's fucking weird, because that kind of thing shouldn't - it's too bloody forward, and then whatever I thought of him sure as the Seven Hells he's a better one than the whole bloody lot of them, and -

He wonders, deliriously, if she swears that much all the time, and then he realizes no one actually came up to them to do anything about it.

But he heard it.

Loud and clear.

Is he going mad?

He doesn't know.

He passes out a short while later, smelling the stench of his own rotting hand, and thanking his blessing that at least the wench is fucking warm, isn't she?

--

He had thought that was the worst he could smell in his entire life.

After vomiting the damned horse piss they gave him to drink, he decides that maybe he'll reconsider it, and - for a moment he can just taste the damned vomit on his tongue and he knows it's all over him and in between that and the remains of what he drank on his tongue he feels like retching all over again, and then he realizes in utter humiliation that it's not the only thing that smells foul on him as they laugh and laugh and laugh, and then someone tells the wench that they're not going farther if he smells like his own shit, too, and he's sure he hears her saying if only I could steal a sword, but - but he has to be making that up. She can't have said it. She can't have said it -

And they do nothing as she says she'll need her hands free and she comes close to him, and he can barely look at her but then she opens her mouth as she gently brings him close to the river and tells him to drink some water from her cupped hand before she starts cleaning the vomit off his beard, and he's halfway delirious with how much he wants to retch again -

No one deserves that, he hears the wench say, and he turns to her to ask her if she's gone mad -

No one deserves that and I can't even imagine how he's -, he hears, and she has her mouth closed.

He saw that. There is no way she actually spoke. And then she motions for him to lay down on the ground and oh fuck she has to change his smallclothes doesn't she and he just wants to fucking bury himself in the ground - he knows she's done that before, he sort of felt it even if he was passed-out half of the time, but now he's awake for it and he just wants to shrink away from her as she gently undoes his trousers and lowers him into the water -

I failed my vow, he hears, but if that's how I can keep what's left of it, fine. Fine.

She -

She thinks she did what?

And that's when it hits him.

If she's not speaking but he's hearing her and he hasn't gone mad -

Is he hearing her thoughts?

And -

And he was sure she loathed him. What is she even on about when it comes to failing her fucking vow?

He wishes he could figure that out.

It hurts too much, though, and he lets himself pass out, but the fact that she's holding him up as he does somehow -

Somehow makes it less worse than the other times.

--

No, no, stop, he hears when he tries to steal that sword and what a lot of good it did to him, and - is she talking to him or them, he doesn't know, but he can't waste time with it, not when he has to try and fight his way out - except that he doesn't, and then he trips over the damned rock while the others laugh, but Brienne doesn't, and Shagwell comes close and kisses him on the damned head and he wants to retch just at the feeling and -

Can't they leave him alone, just leave him alone, he doesn't deserve it, no one deserves it, he has more guts in him than you all and how dare you even do this Lady Catelyn trusted me with his safety and I can barely do anything what are they thinking what are they thinking he doesn't he doesn't oh but I'm watching them, let them think I'm harmless but the moment I can act I will I will I will I can't fail my vows like this not for the second time not now -

Rorge kicks the sword away from him.

He lets them throw him back on the horse.

There is no way he has hallucinated her thinking about fucking Catelyn Stark.

He closes his eyes and lets himself pass out - he can't deal with this.

He can't he can't he can't -

--

"Jaime."

He's halfway sure she did speak, now. Because she's not being loud and clear. She's whispering and he's looking up at the night sky wondering why would such pretty stars look down on such as him, and then -

"Jaime, what are you doing?"

Oh.

Yes.

She is talking to him. And - calling him by his damned name? What the -

Well, no point in lying now.

"Dying," he blurts, and then -

No no no he shouldn't not for this not because of them oh no no no I can't fail him like this I can't fail my lady like this I swore I'd bring him to King's Landing and it wouldn't - no no it's not fair it's not fair I can't I can't I can't -

She sounds pretty damn panicked, he thinks, and then -

“No,” Brienne on, “no, you must live.”

“Stop telling me what do, wench. I’ll die if it pleases me," he blurts, and -

No, no, that's not - he can't, he can't die like this, and no one - he might have slayed his king but not even he deserves this, that's beyond - I can't let him give up I just can't he shouldn't he shouldn't gods what will piss him off enough to do it what would -

What is she even -

"Are you so craven?" She blurts, and -

"What else can I do, but die?" He blurts back, and he's - he's not even - he would have been angered if he hadn't known but just the fact that she knew calling him a coward would have at least made him angry is making his head spin, and -

Oh yes yes good that's better -

"Live. Live, fight and take revenge," she says, and then Rorge hears them before he can answer -

“You will hold your bloody tongue if you want to keep it, bitch,” he shouts in her face, “or do you want it around your neck like his hand?”

He starts kicking her in the stomach and she moans in pain, but -

But -

I don't care I don't care I don't care I can take it I took worse I took a lot bloody worse than this as long as he lives I don't care and at least he's kicking me and not him I can take it I can I can I can -

He -

He swallows, closing his eyes while her pained moans fill his ears.

He doesn't go to sleep that night. Not really.

--

It's just -

He tries to think about it while she goddamned changes his soiled smallclothes so he doesn't have to look at her in shame and he can hear her thinking that it's the least she could do and she'll see him through it if it kills her.

She -

She was -

She loathed him. He knew she did. It was obvious. Maybe this is just... compassion or something like that, but - but she certainly isn't letting that stop her from making this entire fucking ordeal less bad than it could be, for what it's worth, and he can't help thinking, now for all she fancies herself a knight she's keeping her word isn't she, and he feels a lump in his throat as she ties back his breeches around his waist and helps him to the horse, again.

She's gentle, when she pulls him up on it.

Gentler than anyone else has been while handling him in - he doesn't know how long.

Please live until we reach safety, she thinks, and he almost falls off the horse at how sad she sounded. Please please please. I have to bring you to King's Landing. I swore I'd keep you safe. I can't do more than this. Please just live.

Fucking Seven Hells.

She meant it, when she swore her lady that dumb vows, didn't she.

Fuck.

Fuck, he is her damned vow, and -

His head spins just at the thought.

He's just - he's not going to go further down that road. He's not. But he can't lie to himself about how sincere she sounds, and anyway if he's hearing her thoughts because of some stupid weird strange magic then she couldn't be lying, could she?

Fuck.

Fuck, she really does believe in oaths, doesn't she?

--

He probably asked for it, ranting about Aerys the closer to Harrenhal they got.

He hears her wondering is there something he's not telling people, because this makes no sense, not with how he sounds, not with what everyone knows, why does he sound so sad, why oh I hope he's not going mad what if he does but could I blame him if he did, and then Rorge is back kicking him in the stump and making him scream and -

I want to kill him with my bare hands, she thinks, I want to kill him with my bare damned hands god stop it can't you see he's harmless and just because of you bastards stop stop stop this is just too cruel this is too cruel why why why -

Well, he thinks before he passes out again, the pain in his wrist too blinding, at least she didn't loathe him so much she'd be glad of this.

Oh, he knew, but -

But the idea that someone wants to kill this man just because he's hurting him just -

It doesn't -

People don't want to take revenge on anyone for him, he's the one who usually -

It just doesn't -

Everything goes black.

--

When he hears the whole lot of them talking about who's taking the front and the back, he knows what they're planning.

Thing is -

I knew it was going to happen. Very well then. They'll get a fight. I'm not letting them have me easily. Fuck all, maybe I should have just let that bastard Hyle Hunt have it when they did that bet, at least it wouldn't be with any of them -

He's -

He's not going to even think about what she meant with the bet, he's too out of it, but -

She wants to fight all of them? From what he's seen she would, but -

He thinks of Queen Rhaella screaming and screaming behind that door and he couldn't do anything and she didn't fight and survived enough to birth a daughter, but - but these pieces of shit will hack her into pieces if she does and for some reason he just can't -

Not when she cares enough to -

“Wench,” he tries, “Let them have their meat, and you go far away,” he keeps on. “It will be over quicker, and they’ll get less pleasure from it.”

What the hell is he up to? What does he even care? She shakes her head. Oh, fucking stubborn wench -

“They’ll get no pleasure from what I’ll give them,” she replies. If this is how I lose my maidenhead then I'm not just letting them take it. And what does he even mean? I can't go anywhere. Far away? What does he even mean?

Oh, damn it. She doesn't get it. She won't handle it. She might be good but it will break her and if she fights it it'll just break her more, he saw it happen, he fucking saw it happen, he can't let them do it again, he can't -

“Let them do it, and go away inside." What might convince her anyway? "Think of Renly, if you loved him. Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think…" He keeps on talking, but then she shakes her head again, and -

As if Renly ever wanted me like that. I know he didn't. And I don't know what does he care but I can't. I handled - I handled this all my fucking life, I'll live. I knew it could happen. I'll break a few noses before they even try.

He was about to press, but then Rorge shows up and tells her that she's the ugliest woman he's ever seen -

As if I haven't heard that all my life, she scoffs in her head, and Jaime's stomach is curling on itself and he realizes he's going to have to watch them do it -

“But don’t think I can’t make you uglier. You want a nose like mine? Fight me, and you’ll get one. And two eyes, that’s too many. One scream out o’ you, and I’ll pop one out and make you eat it, and then I’ll pull your fucking teeth out one by one.”

And then he hears the thought, so clear, so fucking loud that he almost screams at hearing it -

not my eyes, they’re the only part of me other people seem to not think ugly

- and then she shakes her head and glares back at him, and when Shagwell talks about fucking her up the arse she thinks well, at least I won't have to see him while he does, and -

Oh no no no no he can't watch it happen, he can't watch it happen by sitting here and do nothing not like this not when she sounded like she was about to cry thinking about losing those pretty eyes of hers -

Maybe -

Maybe he can -

“There’s a funny fool,” he says, his own voice sounding so calm it almost freaks him out. “I have a riddle for you, Shagwell. Why do you care if she screams? Oh, wait, I know.”

No, no, no, you are a fool, what are you doing, he’s going to kill you — he hears Brienne think, but he can't care less, not now -

“Sapphires," he shouts, and -

Well.

The pain in his wrist when Rorge kicks it is entirely worth knowing he won't have to watch her being raped in front of him without even a door in the middle.

--

She's quiet for the rest of the day, but not to him.

No one else ever did what he just has, she thinks.

No other man ever -

Those bastards at Renly's camp wanted to - and he was the one -

How could I have misjudged him so badly -

What is he even hiding it makes no sense he can't be as horrible as he likes everyone to presume -

He saved me he saved me he saved me -

How could - I was supposed to keep him safe and he saved me oh gods he did -

When she finally talks, and asks him in a thin voice, calling him by his name, why did he do it, he lies. Makes up something about wanting Vargo Hoat to say thappireth, about it being a repayment for her helping him escape Riverrun at the end of it, and he can only hear what she's not saying.

I could have handled it, I always have, he was a true knight oh gods he was one, and -

I have a debt to you, too, she thinks, and his stomach lurches, but not in the bad way.

Gods.

She really is... everything she looks like, isn't she?

--

He does try to goad her in the tub.

If only to not think about how she's thinking something about having completely failed all over while she scrubs herself, but it's so angry and garbled he can barely make sense of it, and then she shrinks back from him, and -

"Does the sight of my stump distress you so?" He asks, attempting to goad her more, and then she flinches and -

I can't look at it because it's - the proof I failed you, I said I'd bring you back whole from King's Landing and here's what happened and I could barely - I mean, I did what I could but I said I'd keep you safe I swore I did I swore Lady Catelyn I would and is he trying to make me feel bad about it, is it how he's taking revenge on me, not that I can blame him but I tried oh I tried please -

He was abut to tell her something about Renly to goad her further.

He -

He can't.

"I'm sorry," he says, and when she looks at him like she can't believe him, he shrugs again. “I’m a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most.”

What is he apologizing now why would he it makes no sense gods I don't know what to make of him anyone else wouldn't be meaning this does he mean it I don't know I don't know -

"Do you mock me?" She replies, feebly, and -

He can't even be angry at her after that. She really.... is that guarded, is't she? And if - if people bet on her maidenhead, presumably, from what he gathered, can he even blame her?

"No," he says, "I want a truce. And I meant it."

"Truces are built on trust. Should I trust -"

"The kingslayer?" He finishes for her.

I meant different - she starts thinking, but then -

Then he can't shut his mouth and before he knows it he's told her everything when he never told anyone else and he can hear her thinking oh oh oh it makes sense oh it adds up oh but why hasn't he told why hasn't he said oh gods oh gods I knew he was hiding something, and -

And when he almost faints and she catches him, gently, gentler than Cersei ever was -

I couldn't on the road but there is no way I'm leaving him to suffer now, she thinks, and then no one will answer if I call for help, but if - I won't - I don't want to say it -

She asks help for the kingslayer.

But that's not his name, she thinks, and he thinks he's crying as he passes out.

--

He hadn't wanted to leave her behind.

The moment he did, he felt like - he should have been happy, he was going back to Cersei, why wouldn't he be, except that he thinks about how she said goodbye and told him that she hoped he'd keep their vow and he could hear I completely failed but if he's - if he's the way I think he can be maybe he will do it even if I couldn't and just - he thought Arthur Dayne was the best knight he ever knew but the wench fucking buys it, believes it deep down, she fucking means it and everyone else - everyone else was more of a hoax than he has been, he knows, he has seen it, but her -

He doesn't think he's ever met anyone who was - who wanted it quite as much, not even himself, and her thoughts were what they were but they made him feel - less alone somehow and now he's surrounded by Bolton men and that fucking Qyburn and he can't hear them but from the way they look at him he can guess what they think, and then -

Then he dreams of her putting herself in between him and his older Kingsguard and looking almost beautiful and all knightly as she held that flaming sword and was as naked as she was in the baths and -

He can't.

He just fucking can't.

He goes back to Harrenhal.

--

He doesn't hear her thoughts until he jumps into the bear pit.

What is he doing here she thinks and oh he had missed her voice in his head fuck didn't he, and he smiles as she calls him Kingslayer but not meaning it at all, he knows she doesn't -

He tells her to get behind him and she protests that he's unarmed, of course she would but then -

why would he come back why why why he was going back to his sister wasn't he he was he said he was he loves her doesn't he he said so why is he here did he come back for me because he thought I was in danger oh god he did it's the second time he does it no one else has ever no one else has ever I always had to do it on my own how how how he is here

He swallows and hopes like mad that Steelshanks does what he's supposed to.

He does.

By the time they're out of the damned pit and Vargo Hoat is seething and she replies with a faint whisper that she's still a maiden when he asks he's ready to just - brush it off, why wouldn't he -

why why why why oh he looks so handsome like this he's everything I thought true knights would be once

Jaime is about to trip on his damned feet, and then -

"Ser Jaime?" She asks, thinly. "I am grateful, but you were well-away. Why come back?"

He could have just - brushed her off. Told a quip. Joked about it as he usually does. Something cruel, so she'd go back to thinking horribly of him, but she's staring at him with those pretty, wide blue eyes as she can't believe he's there and he did come back, and -

maybe he thought it was the honorable thing and oh he does have honor I see it now, but why for me, why for me, who else ever has, I never was that kind of girl, I can't believe he did that for me

Fucking hells. How old is she anyway? Eight and ten? He remembers being almost her age and - having lost all of that goodness she has, all that self-righteousness that everyone needs should they be knights, and she's looking at him like he just walked out of a song -

"I dreamed of you," he says instead, and it's the truth, isn't it -

Oh, she says, men don't dream of me, do they, and -

Fuck.

Fuck.

--

He should avoid her.

He should, because if - if she's falling in love with him and it all points to that then - then it wouldn't - it can't - Cersei would - he can't even begin to quantify it -

But then the Red Wedding happens and he hears her weeping in her tent on the way to King's Landing and he hears it, he hears it -

would ser jaime let me weep on his shoulder or would he think it beneath a true knight now

He's -

He's in her tent before he can think about it and he lets her and she grasps at his shoulders like she can't believe he's real, and then she thanks him in a thin voice and he could leave it at that but then he hears it, he hears it -

I've never known a better man

So loud and clear it's deafening, and he can't even lie to himself anymore, he can't -

He doesn't know who moves first.

What he knows is that they're kissing after a moment of staring at each other and she's whimpering into his mouth while her hands touch his face and the back of his head so gently he wants to weep at it, and is he kissing me is he kissing me oh gods I'm dreaming am I she's thinking and -

He shakes his head and brings his left hand to her cheek, fingers shaking, and he can't - he can't put up the front anymore.

"It's real," he says, and her eyes widen. "Don't worry, wench, you're easy to read. But it's - it's a good thing, I think."

"I - I didn't - I've wanted it since the bath, I think," she admits, and he could have said, I could have known or I suspected or I knew you had wanted it at the bear pit, at least.

"I kissed you first, didn't I?" He replies, and - "And for what it's worth, I want to keep that vow to fucking Catelyn Stark. And you didn't fail your side of it. I mean, I'm alive, am I not?"

"How did you know that - I thought I had?"

"You talk in your sleep," he lies, because he can't tell her that he can still hear her damned thoughts though he might have to later, but -

She tells him that she knows she doesn't expect him to keep on doing this when they reach King's Landing, and kisses him again.

He doesn't stop her.

--

When she walks into his room dressed in blue, the thought hits him so hard he almost staggers.

he looks so handsome like this, oh, I don't know how long it has been but he - he looks like a god, doesn't he, but - he can't want it again, can he -

He tells her to close the door and come closer. He - he didn't think he'd ever do what he's about to, but after the conversation he just had with Cersei -

He didn't need to read her mind to realize a few things he should have realized a long time ago, he thinks.

And then Brienne tells him that white becomes him, and -

It suits him, he looks like he was born for it and honestly he was, maybe now he can -

"I have a proposition for you," he says, and puts the Valyrian sword on the table in between the two of them.

He tells her where that sword comes from. He tells her he wants her to have it so she can look for Sansa Stark because she's his last chance at honor, but then -

"And if you wait for tomorrow to leave, until I free my brother before Cersei has him killed for a crime he didn't commit, I would come with you."

She almost drops the sword.

"You - come with me? But - you're -"

"The new Lord Commander? I am," he says, "but - I think - I thought about a few things. I - I think I'd rather be out there with you and my sister - she's not - she's not the person I remembered." Understatement. "I'll need to make sure a few things are under control here, and I have to make sure Tyrion does his escape, and - a few other matters. But - I'll send Varys to you with the name of one specific inn. Wait for me there. Three days at most and I'll join you. Will you?"

of course I would of course I will oh gods he gave me a valyrian sword he thinks I'm - he thinks I can - he'd come with me - oh gods yes yes yes

"Ser," she bows, "I would. I will wait for your missive."

Then she bows and leaves.

Well then.

Well then.

--

Three days later, he knocks on her door feeling drained inside - that conversation with Tyrion was not... what he had thought it would be and he hopes he has it in himself to forgive him with time, and his uncle hasn't quite realized what he meant to do, but - he made him understand that he should take very good care of the king and to make sure Cersei doesn't become regent, because she - she just isn't a good choice, he can see it now, and now he's tired and -

he came back, Brienne thinks in delight as he opens the door.

Fuck it all.

He kicks it closed and kisses her again, and as she moans into his mouth anew, he decides that he doesn't care what happens from now on.

He always wanted to be Arthur Dayne.

Maybe with her he can be.

End.

[the-force-of-imagines]

Loki and The Star

Loki x gn!reader

@thatfanficstuff

@thatdarkfanficstuff

Warning: Small Death in a character.

Word count:2,717

Summary: this is a Fairytale au. If you know where this sounds familiar you are 100% right.

I'm sorry in advance if it sucks. It sounded better in my head. And also references from the movie "Stardust."

Soft humming of a lullaby can be heard through the bedroom corridor of the castle, and every now and then a guard could hear and smile knowing that the King's spouse was in the room putting there grandchildren to sleep. In the middle of the room sitting in a rocking chair was the King's spouse looking out the window at the moon and the stars. In their arms was the youngest, Ragnar, was in their arms wide awake. That is when they heard the oldest, Astrid, call out to them.

"Yes, Astrid," they say while looking at the young girl who was sitting up in her bed. 

"Can you tell us a story?" She asks with a small smile graceing her lips.

"Yeah! I want to hear a story!" Bjorn yells in excitement while jumping up in joy on his bed.

As the adult chuckles at how enthusiastic these children were. As they waited patiently for the grandparent to speak up. They noticed a smile softly gracing their lips, and them speaking up. 

"Have you ever heard of the story of the youngest prince , and the fallen star?" They question the children. 

When they shook their head no and a small gurgle from the child in his arms. Their smile grew on their face, and sighs while adjusting Ragnar in their arms. When they looked back to the two children in there beds, and cleared their throat.

"Alright, children," they say getting the children's attention, " lay back in bed, and relax. Before we start the story." 

As they waited for them to get comfortable in their bed, they adjusted themselves with the youngest in their arms. When all four of them were settled in there respected places, and they all looked at each other and waited for the adult to start the story.

"About 150 years ago, a young god by the name of… Loki who was the god of" 

"Mischief!?"yelled the two children in there beds.

"Yes, mischief. Loki had to go threw many obstacles, but never mind how the god of mischief became a boy. This is the story of how Loki becomes a king, a much greater challenge altogether. For him to achieve it,  he must win the heart of his one true love."

"Loki!" Sigyn shouted getting his attention from across the room.

As Loki looked up from where he sat with book in hand,and smiled at the women in front him. He swiftly stood putting the marker in the page he left on and set it down, stood straight, and bowed. 

"Are you ready for the picnic on midgard?" Loki asked.

Sigyn nodded enthusiasticly wrapped her arm around Loki's. As they made there way to the bifrost, they spoke about what its going to be like on midgard. When they entered and saw Hemdal, who slowly nodded towards them, and opened the bifrost to the destination. As they entered the bifrost, and landed in Wales, England.

"My gods! This wine is always delicious! How did…Well how does a young prince like yourself get your hands on one of these bottles?" Sigyn asks.

"Well, living in the palace, and being the second son of Odin, and being the god of mischief,” loki says but never got to finish because of Sigyn laughter was heard.

"Alright, I get it." She took another sip and looked around the field.

"You know, I never intended to accept the marriage with Theoric." She says sadly. 

"You know, i would cross oceans, and slay any beast to take your hand in marriage. I would go beyond the nine realms and bring back your weight in gold. I would,"  loki says with his whole heart. 

She chuckles, "your funny, loki. People Iike you and me,we're just not...We should be going. Its really late."

"Well then," Loki starts, "shall we finish this wine before we head back to asgard."

"Okay," she smiles softly. 

But if Loki had known then that Heimdall and the stars watched earth, he'd shudder at the thought of having and audience to his humiliation. But, fortunately for him, nearly every star in the sky was at that moment looking in earnest at the land on the other side of the land where an evil witch and her son were looking for two things in particular. Adrastus, the son of the witch, and also the bastard son of the king's seventh son. Wisteria, the mother of Adrastus, and also known as the eldest witch of her two sisters.

Adrastus was on the search of his fathers ruby. 'He of royal blood shall be king' the king had said on his death bed, and for his mother a star. But what both of them didn't know was that the ruby was actually found lying next to the star. And with Loki and Sigyn, Loki had promised Sigyn to bring back the shooting star for her hand in marriage. And that's what the youngest prince had done, he had sent Sigyn back to asgard and hadset off to a journey. 

It had taken less than a couple of hours to find where the star had land. Loki smiled brightly at the thought of marrying Sigyn. As he had gotten closer he had noticed that that it was no star at all, but a young (man\women\person)  no older then approximately 20 years of age. As Loki got closer the (man\women\person) that was in the crater backed away from him. When Loki lifted up his hands in a saying that he wasn't going to hurt them at all. 

"What is your name little one?" He asked them politely. 

"My name is (y\n). May i ask what your name is kind sir?" You questioned back. 

"Loki Odinson god of mischief. Soon to be ruler of asgard," He spoke thinking they would probably know who he is. 

"Asgard? Wha- what are you doing all the way out here on earth?" You questioned him with a bit of concern.

"That is none of your concern, but may I ask you. Where is the star?" Loki questions. 

"What do you mean where?" You through the question back.

"Clearly we both know where it landed as we both are in the crater that it landed in. Now please tell me. Where is it?" Loki questions again a bit annoyed.

"Please don't laugh, but I'm the star that fell. If you want me to be specific up there is where, this bloody necklace knocked me out of the sky when I was practically minding my own business." You said with a bit of sarcasm. 

"So your telling me your the star. You?" Loki says a little bit in not believing you one bit.

Until he noticed that when you looked him in the eyes he noticed that you were shinning. He couldn't really believe in what he was seeing, but he can because he had encountered much worse then a shinning star in front of him. As they both talked some more, and explained everything to each other on what's going to happen. Loki had heard something move to the right of him, so he decided that they both should move out of the crater and find some shelter. 

Not far from where they were they had stopped by a building, more importantly an Inn to be precise.

It had been a couple of days since they both had been trying to find a clearing, and hiding so no one can see who they are, or where they are going. They only traveled at night,and stayed in the morning in Inn's. As they were together in getting to certain destination they had gotten closer in knowing each other. 

Loki has never felt like this before, he never felt more like he could be free. He never understood how an adventure with someone like (y\n). They danced, and they met a captaim and crew who taught them how to protect themselves. (Y\n) was slowly falling for the asgardian prince, and Loki was falling for the star. But as they were close to getting out of there, and returning back to asgard. The witch and her son were waiting for them to get a hold of the star. 

When they saw them enter the clearing, she had casted a spell on the flowers to make them fall into a dreamless sleep. When they noticed the two on the ground asleep, Adrastus went over and crouched next to the young (man\women\person), and smiled sadisticly. He looked back to his mother and spoke enthusiasticly. 

"We got them mother. We finally got what we wanted."

"Exactly, my son," Westeria spoke happily, " Let's take her home, and get you that thrown."

As they disappeared with the star, and leaving Loki behind. But he was never alone, a group of asgardians came and took him back home. When Loki came too he had noticed he wasn't on midgard anymore. More importantly (y\n) was no longer by his side. He quickly got up and made his way out of the medical wing and into the thrown room where Odin was. 

"Where are they?!" He shouted.

When Odin looked at him with not one ounce of a reaction. As Loki waited for an answer he looked straight up in his eyes amd knew the answer. He ran straight out of the castle and straight to Heimdall, and demanded to be taken to where (y\n) was. But before he could enter and leave to midguard. He was stopped by his brother Sigyn and Thor. Sigyn had asked where her star was and why he was leaving her behind. But he just looked at her, and told her the truth that he wasn't in love with her anymore. So he turned away, and Thor had accompanyed him back to midguard in getting (y\n) back. 

As they both scoped the mansion they noticed you laying on your back tied down on a table. As Loki walked in through the door he heard it slam behind him, and the banging coming from the other side of the door from Thor. 

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Loki Odinson," Wisteria spoke enthusiasticly with a bit of sarcasm, "Adrastus, get him."

As Adrastus got his sword out, and did some twirls with it. He didn't notice Thor making his way through a hidden passage way behind him. And struck him before he could strike Loki down. Both brothers looked to each other and nodded in gratitude. When they looked up to where the witch was, she was staring back with wide misty eyes in her son laying motionless on the floor. She knew she couldn't defeat them by herself. As she looked at the star she finally came to a decision and let them go. As (y\n) ran to Loki's side, and was ready to leave this place behind. 

"Just leave! Everything I cared about is gone." Wisteria cries out, "Go! Go!"

As they made there way to the door, Thor had made it out of the door before it closed on him once more, and so was the hidden entrance. 

"No!" Thor yells out, " Loki!"

"I owe you my thanks, Loki," Wisteria starts out, "What use was there heart to me when it was broken? Also your moronic brother getting ride of my son, and now I can finally have the star all to myself."

As Loki tries to push you behind him, but you move to his front and hug him sound his middle. 

"Hold me tight, and close your eyes tightly." You say with a calming voice. 

"What?" Loki questions, "Why?"

"What do stars do?" You breathlessly say.

As you both hold on to each other, and Loki shutting his eyes tight. Not before noticing Wisteria at the bottom of the steps. But he heard (y\n) whisper.

"Shine." 

Even with his eyes closed he can still see the brightness. But Wisteria had no chance in trying to hide, and she was instantly incinerated. As the glow dyed down Loki and (Y\n) slowly opened their eyes and looked around. When they looked back at each other, and smiled knowing they made it. As they stared into each others eyes and slowly inced closer, and closer. Inches away from the kiss Thor entered with hammer in hand. Ready for the rest of the fight, but there was no one left for him.  He looked back to Loki and (Y\n) and gave them the goofiest smile at how close they were. But slowly turned around, and went back out the door without uttering a word. 

"I thought I lost you," Loki breathes out while leaning his forehead with yours.

"But you came back," you spoke. 

"Of course I did. I love you." Loki says with the biggest smile. 

But before they can say anything else they heard Thor calling out for them to come out. As they were making there way to the door, Loki noticed the necklace you were wearing was broken on the floor. Except for the ruby that was on the floor. As he bent over and grabbed it he headed out not noticing that the ruby turned blood red from when it was clear moments before. When he caught up and stood next to you he noticed Odin and Frigga standing in front of them both. As Loki looked back down at his hand he noticed the color of the stone. But so did his mother who gasped in delight. Odin let a small smile gracing his lips, and Thor, Loki and (y\n) were confused. As they looked at their elders in front of them waiting for them to understand what's going on.

"My son," Odin began, "You are the one true king. The one who will take my place as the protector of the 9 realms."

As (y\n) and Thor stared at Loki in awe, as Loki stared into the eyes of (y\n), and knew who he wanted by his side for the rest of his life. And he knew he was ready to be king, but he also thought of Sigyn. Yet he didn't fell true love with her; it was more like a puppy love then anything else. He smiled, and looked at his father and spoke up while spreading his arms wide. 

"Where do we begin."

"They ruled for decades, but no god can live forever, except he who possess the heart of a star, and (Y\N) had given theirs to Loki completely. When their children were grown, and they looked over their grandchildren. It was time for them to actually become the brightest stars of Asgard. And they live happily ever after," the king finished the story.

"Do you think it was really true?," Bjorn question while looking at his grandparents.

"What do you think my sweet boy?," (Y\N) questions him while letting off a little shimmer of light.

As the two older children gasped in shock; while you got up and put Ragnar in his bed and tucking him in. They both looked at each other and smiled knowing that the whole story was true. About the witch and her son, the ruby, and the star. 

"Alright children," you say getting their attention.

"It is time for you to sleep," Loki finishes off. 

"Aww, but-" Astrid tries to say, but got quiet when she noticed the look on your face. 

When you made your rounds and placing snowdrops under their pillows for protection. They left with a small goodnight, and went to their own bedroom. As (Y\N) looked to Loki they noticed a smile gracing his lips, and quirked his brow in questioning him on what the problem was.

"You always love telling that story don't you," he questions.

"Why, yes," you start, " many may tell the story of how you stole the heart of a star."

"Well, they probably don't know that you also stole the heart of the one true king of asgard," Loki says teasingly.

As you both chuckled, and walked out to the balcony and looked up to the stars reminiscing in the many adventures you both had. Remembering it as if it was just yesterday. 

The end.

Or is it.

[brynwrites]

Plot progression: points, twists, and hinges.

(And why hinges rock.)

Please excuse me while I assign already well-loved terms new meanings for my own benefit. (This is to say, writing terminology means something slightly different or goes by slightly different terms depending on who you ask. Two of the definitions I use here are based ones that stuck with me, while the third is something I pulled right out of my backside because it didn’t quite fit with my acquired definitions of the other two. Other terms and definitions are equally valid; I’m just using these ones until I figure out how to telepathically funnel wordless concepts.)

First let’s get basic: What’s a plot anyway? Tis a bunch of things that happen to move your character toward something. Usually this something is a goal. Win the war. Find the killer. Survive the winter. Get through the wedding. Kill the dragon.

Plots (should) have important scenes within them which propel them along. A full book that’s just a knight walking on a path for twenty-five chapters thinking about killing a dragon and then finally reaching the dragon to do so it boring. A book about a knight facing random trials that have nothing to do with the dragon she’s set out to kill is more interesting then walking. But the most engaging version of this plot would be if each trial she faced was connected to the dragon killing in some way.

We could, if we wanted to, label each of these trials with terms like plot point, a plot twist, or a plot hinge, depending on how they interact with the story as a whole. (Now I have to define what each of these terms mean to me. I set myself up here, didn’t I?)

We probably all know what a plot twist is. A big reveal. A shocking conclusion. A revelation that puts the whole story into a new light. (Luke, I am your father!)

Most writers will describe a plot point as some version of ‘an event which progresses the plot.’ This is all fine and dandy until you have to decide what counts as progress and how much of it you need for something to genuinely be a plot point. For the sake of this article, I’m going to call it anything that has a noticeable effect on either the ultimate or immediate goal of the story.

A plot hinge is a type of plot point. It can also include a plot twist. But not all plot twists or plot points are plot hinges, because a hinge actively swings the plot in a new direction. It takes the goal the story is set upon, and it rattles that mother-fork until its eyes pop out.

Let’s have some examples, shall we?

A knight is crossing a mountain on her way to slay a dragon.

While at the mountain, she fights a random dwarf. It’s a nice action bit where she’s in peril a few times and at the end, she kills the dwarf and continues down the other side of the mountain. A real page turner. (Spoilers: it’s probably, actually, not.) It’s also not a plot point (or, a plot anything), because the entire segment could have been cut without anything else changing. This whole scenario has no effect on what the plot’s current goal is, how it’s being accomplished, or how we perceive it.

If instead, while at the mountain, our valiant knight fights a dwarf with ancient knowledge on forging dragon-killing weaponry and convinces him to forge her a dragon-killing sword that ends up being the only reason she can kill the dragon at all, then you have what’s purely a plot point. The goal of the plot hasn’t been altered, nor our perception of it, but we’ve taken an irremovable step towards accomplishing it.

If instead, while at the mountain, our valiant knight uncovers ancient knowledge that reveals the villainous dragon is actually part of a much larger system of dragons with magical human form, and her own mother was secretly a dragon, giving her dragon blood of her own, this is purely a plot twist. The goal of the plot hasn’t changed, and we’re not closer to having killed the dragon, but our perception of the plot, how our main character fits within it, and what it should mean to us as readers, has been altered.

Pretty basic, yes?

Now imagine that those two things both happen while our knight is at the mountain, but as she’s leaving, the dragon she’s been riding out to face finds her. They battle. Barely prepared, our knight is losing terribly. She tries to flee, making it to the nearest town before the dragon finds her. In order to lay him low, his must use both her dwarfish weapon and her secret dragon powers. The town sees this, and decides she, too, is the enemy. A town guard steals her dragon-killing sword and tries to slay her with it. In a moment of compassion, the dragon she nearly killed helps her escape the town, but every knight our valiant half-dragon once fought alongside now sees her as a monster. And they’re coming for her.

This is a plot hinge. We just flipped out perception of the plot, tackled and crashed right through our main goal, and opened the doors for a new goal that’s still adjacent to our original one (and might still lead back to it by the end of the book—who knows, the villainous dragon might still need to be killed after all).

The trick with plot hinges, is the throw the reader for just enough of a loop to make the story fresh and interesting, without letting them question why the story before and after the plot hinge aren’t separate books. For a plot hinge to work, the plot must be pushed without being torn off the hinges. The old goal can’t be left dangling, limp with unfulfilled promise, and the new goal must build off everything the book has already established.

When done well, though, a plot hinge can turn a “this is enjoyable!” story into one that makes readers go “oh god, please read this, I NEED someone to scream at, I’m literally dying.”

I’m not going to tell you how many of these you should have in any given story. I’m not even going to tell you that you need to have any of them. (That would be hypocritical, as not all of my own stories do. Some are pulled along by simply plot points and twists, and they’re still perfectly enjoyable, if I do say so myself.)

You can also slip plot hinges into side plots, and make cases for what constitutes a hinge in character development. And at the end of the day, there’s a hundred different ways to build tension into a story and engage the reader. This is just the one I’m having fun identifying and analyzing at the moment.

And I hope you can set out and have fun with it to.

(Also, call it by my personal terminology. Pretend I, and I alone, invented a brand-new kind of plot point. Buy my book. Ascend me to godhood. Rebel and kill god-me to take back the world for humanity. Something like that.)

[writtenwyrm]

The Ascension

A Slay the Spire story, Part 21

All Parts

A few hours later, after I’d finished reading dull theories on offense versus defence and proper conservation of energy and hesitantly feeding a piece of paper from the ruined book to the White Beast—it had promptly bled a grey liquid from its eyes and belched smoke, which I hurriedly collected into a jar—I found myself climbing endless stairs once again.

I was close.

With the majority of the city-bearing pillars below me, I could direct my senses upward and detect the roof. It was jagged and rough, with no clear exit. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t one.

Somehow, once I reached it, I would have to ascend.

But first I had to get there. With the more plentiful stairs and ladders far below me, I was left with few choices on how to climb. A few sparse staircases ringed the distant walls of the spire, and some thick ropes hung from enormous iron hooks, but they were often either crumbling or rotten, not something I wanted to trust my weight on. Especially not with so far to fall.

I’d already tried three sets of stairs, only to be turned back by stretches of impassable chasms. It was on my way back from another dead end when I encountered them.

They were walking up, and I was walking down. We rounded a corner at nearly the same moment, and I ran face-first into a very large man. He was nearly as round as he was tall, and his face was covered by a round red mask. All I could see was his small eyes, peering at me with mild curiosity.

“…Hello.” I said warily, backing up. He said nothing in return.

“Why’dya stop, Bear?” A voice from behind him asked, shrill with annoyance. “Come on then, we’ve got places to be! You can’t stop to look at every pretty rock you see!”

“Maybe he’d listen if you actually did anything about it, Romeo.” Another voice muttered.

Bear stepped to the side, allowing his companions to see me. Two more men, one of them short and scrawny, with two long blades on his back and an overlarge mask hiding his face, and a tall one with a slouch and a bright, sleek mask of his own. They froze, and I took another step back, holding my staff at the ready

“Well!” The taller one spoke—Romeo—and pulled a small dagger from one pocket, spinning it over his fingers. “Look who we have here! An honest-to-gods Venture! Watcher, eh? That’s what the Champ called you in the Arena.”

“That’s me.” I confirmed. “And I don’t wish to fight.”

“Neither do we! I mean, Pointy does, but he’s always on edge.” He nodded at the scrawny man, chuckling. Bear joined in with a quiet laugh while Pointy scowled.

“But we also have a bone to pick with you.” Romeo continued, pointing with his knife. He left his other hand in his pocket, casual. Still, I could feel nervousness underneath the otherwise flawless facade. “You’ve caused a lot of chaos around here lately. Taking out the Gremlin Gang and the Taskmaster like that? The city is in shambles, and who’s gonna be left to take over and figure things out? Me, that’s who. Now, that’s a lotta work, and since this is all your fault, I figure you’ve got to put some coin towards fixing it.”

“Romeo, ain’t you been trying to find a way to get rid of Taskmaster for…” Pointy half-whispered, and then trailed off at the sharp look Romeo threw him.

“Anyway, I’d say a reasonable fee of all your gold should do.” He turned back to me and pointed his dagger, grinning lopsidedly under his mask. His teeth were about as uneven as his smile. “How’s about it, Watcher?”

A flicker of anger thrummed through me, and I looked all three of them over. I was still plenty injured, even if the fresh wound on my head had stopped bleeding. But these three didn’t look too tough, either. “…I’m sorry, but I need my coin more than you do.”

“You sure about that?” He wheedled. Behind him, Pointy took his blades off his back with eagerness. “No one has to get hurt here. We’ve seen your tricks, and you haven’t seen ours. Isn’t it safer just to hand over the coin? It’s just gold, after all.“

“I could say the same to you. Just gold, no reason for you to take it.” I was feeling particularly stubborn, and I let it seep into my voice. At the same time, I eyed Pointy, considering how best to take him down quickly. In the back of my throat, I began quietly humming my battle hymn, and focusing my mind into efficiency.

Romeo sighed, and then waved his dagger. “All right, then. Grab ‘em, Bear!”

The hulking man had remained so silent and unobtrusive that he had vanished from my attention. So when he flung himself forward with both arms out, I was caught completely by surprise. I managed to leap backwards, avoiding the first swing, and then—

“CLEAVE!” Pointy screeched, throwing himself forward with both swords high overhead. I started in surprise, and then fear, backpedaling as quickly as possible to get away from the word of power—

Except nothing happened, and he leered at me triumphantly. I stared at him in confusion.

A pair of enormous arms wrapped around me from behind, and I was crushed in an enormous bear hug, my staff and arms all pinned painfully against my sides.

Pointy dived in to swipe at my legs, and I managed to kick out, using my feet to knock his wrists away and jam my heel into his face. But it was nearly impossible to defend myself properly like this. The scrawny thief picked himself up quickly, and I swore he seemed all the more eager to jab me with his swords.

I had to get out of Bear’s grip, or else I was a sitting duck. But with my arms pinned, I felt helpless.

There was one tool I’d discovered for ending a fight quickly, though, and my mouth wasn’t pinned. My battle hymn was weak, but it would have to do.

CLEAVE

to split in half

I knew the most efficient way to finish this, now, and it was easy. Easy now, for my to worm my hands out of the grip of my assailant, and to reach up to grab him by the back of the head. Simple, to leverage his own grip against him and yank him down, slamming his masked face into the top of my head.

I knew he would let me go, then, and I slid out of his grasp like an oiled fish. Scooping up my staff in one clean movement, I rammed the back end up into his chin, sending him staggering.

Then I spun on my heel and kicked him in the belly, sending him hurtling over the edge and into the bottomless void beyond. He made no sound as he fell.

I dropped his mask, and turned toward the others. Divinity pulsed in my limbs, pushing me forward, to finish it quickly. I raised my staff to meet their weapons—

But they weren’t looking at me at all. Both of them were crouched next to the edge of the stairs, looking down into the void. For a moment I thought they were staring silently, and then Romeo turned to me, mouth wide in a shout, and I realized the blood thrumming in my ears was drowning out all the noise. As soon as I realized this, words started filtering through.

“You’ll pay for this!” Romeo was screaming, voice cracking and breaking, dagger clutched in a white-knuckled grip. Behind him, Pointy was screaming Bear’s name into the void, as if the larger man could still hear him somehow.

I stepped to meet him, waiting patiently for the foreign influence to drop something new on me, and struck his arm before he could react, ready to follow up with another strike to the temple.

Instead, he ripped his mask off and dragged his sleeve across his eyes, flailing wildly with his injured arm as he did so. And in doing, I caught a glimpse of his face.

He was just a child. Or not long from being one, either way. His cheeks were still round with baby fat, and the beard on his chin was barely more than mist. His red eyes were furious, but he couldn’t stop the tears from running down his face. I stopped, pulling back, stepping away.

Or at least, I tried.

My limbs fought back. They were filled with the Divine, the clarity of perfect foresight and knowledge of what was ideal.

And right now, all that power was focused on killing.

No. I thought. Wait. I don’t want to kill them anymore. I can win without slaughtering teenagers. I can run, or I can disarm them, or—

The staff in my hands trembled, as I remained perfectly still, caught between two opposite motions. The only movements I could make, the only movements I could even imagine making, were toward finishing the task, destroying the target, killing them both.

But I was feeling particularly stubborn today. So instead I did nothing, pain shooting through my limbs as my muscles screamed.

Pointy had come to join in attacking me, but as he approached with weapons in hand, he stopped. Their voices were indistinct again, void against the creaking of my own bones in my ears, but I could see him grab Romeo by the arm and drag him backwards, away from me. For a moment, part of me—the part that wasn’t focusing on fighting the Divine—was confused. Why abandon a motionless target?

And then I saw the light, springing from cracks in my body. It grew quickly, streaming from under my fingernails, from the veins on my arms.

The power needed something to kill.

Without the promised target, it was turning back on me.

I screamed, then, and even that was inaudible to my own ears, as the Divinity in my body tore itself violently apart.

—

I woke up.

This was not a surprise, though perhaps it should have been. As it was, I’d been too focused on opposing the power to think about what it would be like to die.

I wasn’t sure how long it had been. It could have been days, for all I knew. But something told me it was only a few moments. I was enveloped in a cloud of thick smoke, enough that even my Perception struggled to sense far. But voices still reached me, angry, distraught.

“We’ll find her, Pointy. We’ll find her and finish her, for Bear.”

“I know, Romeo. I just wish this wouldn’t… wouldn’t keep happening.”

“What?”

“I… don’t you feel like… like this has happened before? I feel so… I feel so empty, Ro. Like I’ve had to watch him die over and… over and over.”

“It’s going to be okay, Pointy. I know it hurts. It’s real confusing. Just don’t go crazy on me now.”

“I won’t. I guess… it’s just everyone else. There’s been so many people. I remember when the city was full. Don’t you?”

“…stop it, Pointy. Let’s just find the Watcher.”

I got to my feet, feeling… alive, very alive, but in an everything-hurts sort of way. The smoke lingered, and I retrieved my staff before trudging away, back down the stairs, away from the voices.

It wasn’t until later that I found the shards of glass in my satchel and deduced that I must have fallen on the smoke bomb the White Beast gave me.

And when I discovered, upon emptying my satchel to clean out the sharp glass, a severed lizard tail, still wrapped in bandages from when Neow first traded it to me. But now it was dry and desiccated, nothing but fragile bones and flakey skin.

Whatever it had used to be, it saved me from my own power. And now it was used up. A backup plan I hadn’t even known I had.

And now, as I continued to climb and search fruitlessly for the way up, I had a chance to consider what had happened. How I’d died, or come very close, when the blasphemous power had backfired.

I was sure now, deep inside, that if I died I would be brought back, albeit with my memories gone.

But I was still afraid.

And I couldn’t stop thinking of his face. Had it been right for me to go for the jugular as soon as I’d been threatened? Would they have killed me? To be honest with myself, I didn’t know, but I also was having a hard time blaming them if they tried.

It was hard to think about. For now, I just kept walking, trying to find a way to leave the City, to get away.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 74 Rundown

Code Geass: So we’ve got another one of those “wacky bullshit student activities” episodes, though this one seems to ride the hardest on “shit is going down, the world is ending but haha Shirley romance drama” though admittedly it does have a nice character arc for Milly so that’s cool. Lelouch is worried that the Knights of the Round are here to investigate him until he realizes both of them only have one braincell between them so it’s fine. Cornelia’s also murdering her way through religious fanatics so that’s cool. And last but not least we have Shirley and Lelouch finally getting together right before Jeremiah Geass Cancels her amnesia so she knows Lelouch is Zero and killed her dad and presumably the other stuff that Charles put in the whole school’s brain somehow. I’m sure this will end well and their romance will survive in a way that isn’t insanely tragic.

Inuyasha: We’re still in fillertown and it’s another SangoxMiroku episode. Man we get a lot of these in filler huh? I kinda don’t remember which Sango/Miroku moments are canon at this point. I’d kinda laugh if it was just all filler and some manga-only fans were bewildered when they ended up together in the end. Anyway, Feudal Lord has a thing for Sango because he has great taste and Kagome ships Sango/Miroku so she doesn’t want her to go, Miroku’s like “Hey it’s her choice, she’s been through enough, she can choose her own life, I’m not gonna get involved” which is pretty mature but the girls still hate on him for it. Sango’s just like “Dude even if I wanted to stay I still have this Naraku-slaying quest to go on and I’m not about to sit around all day and be royalty while my friends go kick Naraku’s ass for me.” Which is how most love confessions in this series go. Also Sango suplexes a demon bear the size of a building with her bare hands and it’s pretty great. In the end the lord doesn’t give up going after Sango but they finish the bear stuff and are on their way. I like how they don’t go out of their way to demonize this guy in the end to prop Miroku up, he’s still a good guy, Sango’s just got shit to do and is more the type to like a warrior who’s got her back. There’s some really cute shipping shenanigans here and all in all it’s fun filler.

Yu Yu Hakusho: We’ve got a three for one deal here as Yusuke and Kuwabara assblast their way through the Dark Triad in one episode, continuing their power play of beating villains with little effort while the boss man bets that they’ll completely wreck his guards which is still a pretty interesting dynamic. We’ve got cringey 90s trans commentary, an invisible dude that gets blindsided easily and a hostage ogre that gets beaten by Botan taking off her coat. Honestly for these guys being supposedly minibosses they kind of went down easier than some of the grunts. But now Kuwabara’s in contact with Yukina because his bullshit power of love connection actually works for some reason and they’re in on the final fight with the Toguro brothers. With this many people betting the GDP of countries on the fight there’s no way this isn’t rigged. I really like how YYH basically makes shonen fights just part of stupid black market deals for a large part of it, just like in real life everything’s decided by some old rich guy.

Fate Zero: Kayneth’s still fucked up and has Rock Lee syndrome and can’t use jutsu anymore so his wife’s like “Yo buddy you can’t give Lancer the magic cummies anymore anyway, lemme take control of your hunky knight manslave or I swear to god I’ll rip your arm off and jerk him off with it” which since she asked so nicely he just kind of does. With Lancer still kinda being uppity about Kayneth having dibs on his soul and Sola-Ui being weirdly horny and increasingly yandere for him I’m sure this’ll end well. Saber and Kiritsugu are still pissy with each other because Saber wants to go after Caster to stop the child murders which is fair but she’s also injured and shit and she’s mad at Kiritsugu for not teaming up with Kayneth to just take down Caster right there and I mean I don’t think he really had time to suggest a truce while getting attacked with Terminator 2 goo, he’s not really the asshole here. Meanwhile and more importantly, ISKANDAR HAS PANTS! Nothing can stop him now and they crash Caster’s child murder party and are jumped by Assassin’s Forty Thieves (they aren’t named yet but I’mma just assume) and Iskander’s just like “Yeah no I’m not fighting five ninjas knee deep in child guts.” And they just burn the whole place down.

Konosuba: So in a bizarre Interspecies Reviewers/Food Wars crossover, Kazuma goes to a succubus house and instead of just getting sex they do dreams and shit which seems more complicated but I guess it’s less morally gray. Anyway, naked Darkness and contrived hentai plots ensue. They sprinkle in some good character stuff for Kazuma which is nice, it’s always kind of hard to pin down where his principles lie. Like he’s generally a scumbag and will take the easy way out of anything but he’s not evil and will give Darkness an out on their encounter if she wants and will get his ass kicked to protect his local sex worker. The Principled Scumbag approach is kind of neat for him, I wish a few more of these moments didn’t feel the need to immediately undercut themselves with a joke but that’s the nature of the series. I feel like one or two more genuinely sincere moments throughout a couple episodes would do wonders but either way it’s still amusing.

Sailor Moon Crystal: We pick up right where we left off with Tuxedo Mask throwing himself in front of the Kamehameha for Usagi and then she goes Super Saiyan and cries pokemon tears to bring him back to life. But the bad guys are somehow like ‘yoink’ and steal him from her lap through a barrier somehow (that still kinda pisses me off) and for some reason the crystal that booped its way into his chest isn’t there anymore and Usagi still has and and Usagi’s going through a lot of shit right now between processing the trauma of a millennia-old kingdom falling that’s partially her fault, working through her romantic feelings and having a Steven Universe identity crisis about how to process her identity as a reincarnation of someone a lot cooler than she is, so most of this episode is Usagi crying, as most episodes are, but at least she has a good reason.  Then we get a Girl Squad Roll Out montage because fuck it we’re going to the moon somehow.

Durarara!!:  Apparently everyone knows about where Celty’s head is but her because she visits Izaya’s office where the head is just kinda behind some books on his bookshelf and she doesn’t know but Shinra’s dad has enough time to mug Namie after telling Shinra and Celty off for their weird interspecies relationship and tell Izaya to have fun fucking around with the head. Also people have shifted from being worried about the Dollars to being worried about Saika and ALSO being worried about the Dollars maybe being at war with the Yellow Scarves. Celty’s looking into it and Shinra shows some character development in just coming out with it that Saika was the sword that severed her connection with her head… I don’t know how you cut the soul of a head that’s already cut off but okay, at least Shinra’s not hiding shit from here anymore. Also Saika’s about to seriously chop up Anri and Masaomi comes to visit his girl in the hospital finally.