#Single Review: Big Smoke

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: Matt Corby Shares Lush and Cinematic "Big Smoke"

New Audio: Matt Corby Shares Lush and Cinematic "Big Smoke" @MattCorby @CommunionMusic @MissingPieceGrp

Matt Corby is a multi-award winning Australian singer/songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer. Since the release of 2018’s J Award-winning album, Rainbow Valley, the acclaimed Aussie artist and producer has been busy: He launched his own independent label and loaned his production expertise to material by fellow JOVM mainstay Genesis Owusu, Jack River, Great Gable, Bud Rokesky and most…

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] Joker Out: Playing on the main stage of Sziget means the success with capital letters for us

An interview with Joker Out published in the August 2024 issue of Rockstar magazine. Original article written by Viki Erdős, photo by Viki Erdős. Translation and review by X ddrflctns and X brnbergeron, proofread by @flowerlotus8.

In the former Yugoslavia they have won the 'Artist of the Year' and the 'Song of the Year' awards several times. With two albums under their belt, they entered the Eurovision Song Contest with their song 'Carpe Diem' last year, which put them on the Spotify Viral Top 10 list and then on the Main Stage of Sziget. We met the Slovenian five-piece Joker Out before their first concert in Budapest, where they told us: their biggest dream came true by playing for us at the Island of Freedom on 8 August. Read more of our interview on rockstar.hu!

What's your first impression of the Sziget Festival, now that you've spent a few hours here?

Jan: Actually I already came here yesterday to see L'Impératice. It's definitely the biggest festival I've been to, yet it doesn't seem too crowded. I really like the atmosphere, somehow despite the noise it's calming, and the line-up is incredible!

Jure: It's going to be the biggest stage we've ever played on.

Bojan: I didn't even see you on the stage during the soundcheck, because there was so much smoke! I turned around and just blinked 'where is everyone'?

You posted concert photos from 2016 on Instagram just yesterday. Did you ever think you would play on the main stage of Sziget?

Bojan: Performing at Sziget was always our biggest dream, we somehow thought that playing here, on the main stage would mean success with capital letters. I think we always believed that it will happen one day.

Last year your Eurovision performance brought you international success. How to imagine this? Are you getting recognised on the street, for example?

Bojan: We're constantly being recognised in Slovenia, but there are other countries, for example the Balkans, or Finland and The Netherlands, where we have a big fanbase. So the bottom line is that it's all unbearable and we're huge rock stars. (they all laugh)

Kris: And to top it all off, we are doing an interview with Rockstar Magazine.

How do you handle fame?

Bojan: Oh, it's all terrible! I can't even have a cup of coffee without being surrounded by people! (laughs)

But seriously!

Bojan: No, it's super good, in my opinion, our fame at the moment is perfectly manageable. We’re not recognised by a crazy amount of people yet, and the people who do recognise us are usually very nice. Sometimes a few fans wait for us at the airport, weirdly specifically it always happens in Finland. They tell us about how our music helped them getting through tough times or how they found new friends thanks to us. Only at times like this, we realise that we're getting closer to our goals, that music is no longer just for our entertainment, but also for the pleasure of others.

You recently came out with an animated music video for your song 'Šta bih ja'. How did you come up with this idea and how did you find the right artist for the job?

Kris: It was quite liberating to make a music video without having to be in it. Jokes aside, I thought it was a great time for an animated video, which we've never done before. We had a lot of gigs and time was tight, so it was a perfect move. We've been working with a lot of our fans over the last six months, who are great artists, by the way. We keep an eye on what they post, and we're always completely blown away by it and try to collaborate with them whenever possible. For example, they've made merch and a cover for our single for streaming platforms. The new music video was also made by one of our fans.

How much do they freak out when you contact them?

Kris: A lot, I feel like. But they try to be chill about it.

What is the story behind 'Šta bih ja'?

Bojan: We moved to London for two months to write new material, this was the first song that was written there. It was the first time we really felt what it was like to be away from home and miss our loved ones. In additional to how it feels to be a stranger in a new city, the song is also about what it's like being in love when you can only keep in touch with your partner over the phone.

I've noticed on your Instagram that you like lame photoshopped pictures. Is there an expert in the band responsible for these, or is it a team effort?

Jan: That would be me... (laughs) I don't even know how it started. I always use the same picture, it was taken for our Eurovision campaign, we all look hilarious on it. I noticed that our faces fit perfectly on any picture depicting people. It started as a joke, but now it's become our general marketing strategy.

Bojan: You've already extended the scope to foods, animals...

Jan: Yes, last time I photoshopped Nace onto a sausage.

Earlier this year, your concert film and it's accompanying live album was released. Was this a big dream come true?

Jan: The concert film and live album itself was not a dream, but playing in the arena where it was recorded was. It's nice to relive that experience.

Bojan: I haven't watched it at all. It's really about the fact that we had the opportunity to record and release it, and we took it. That's how the market works. We had to have something to spend our money on, so that we would have as little left as possible. (laughs)

Your festival season will be over soon. What's in store for the rest of the year?

Bojan: Before the tour we had already recorded most of our third album in Hamburg, but we knew that we would need to come back [to the studio] for a few more session. So we spend all of our day-offs in the studio, but now in Ljubljana.

How would you describe the new sound in three words?

Bojan: Makes. No. Sense. (laughs)

[ghostchems]

Raphael teasing a naughty little mouse 🐭 (if you feel up to it!)

a/n: here we aaaare. a lil suggestive but nothing too spicy i think :) raphael is just... a stinker. but ya know what maybe mouse also is kinda stinky. so uhhhhh... about 700 words of stinky.

There’s not much stopping you from lunging across his desk and grabbing him by the chin to force him to look you in the eye — to finally give you the attention you’ve been so desperately craving. He hasn’t looked up at you once or acknowledged your presence in any way since you strolled into The Archive. Which is cruel in itself because of the big todo that was made to announce he was coming Home. The organs rang out through the House of Hope, the lights dimming in every single room and the debtors working themselves into a tizzy over it. And then he appeared without fanfare, sequestered in a nook to review paperwork from the looks of it.

Raphael has been gone for sometime and as one of his pets you haven’t been played with in a while. Most of his toys wait for him to come to them, but not you. You’re special to him. Or at least, you think you are. The two of you have a past that spans several world-ending threats, battles with a deranged cult and other side quests, some of which Raphael came to you himself to deliver. He always enjoyed the fire in your blood, the way you spoke your mind and didn’t give in so easily to him. Now, you’re enjoying your retirement with him in a twisted turn of events.

But you don’t mind. Your past lets you get away with things most of his pets don’t.

You find yourself sitting at one of his many organs, perfectly in view from his desk. Fingers tap on the fine, smooth wood, eyes fixed on him. Lips twitch into a sly smile before putting both forearms onto the keys.

BWWWAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!

Rage filled eyes fixate on you and you’re practically able to see the smoke coming from his ears. Makes you smile even wider.

“Here. Now.” His voice booms through the Archive, echoing from every corner. You obediently get up from the organ but take your time striding over to him. Raphael’s glares at you, eyes never leaving you and while you should be worried by his anger you can’t help but feel exhilarated. Finally — you have his attention.

“Took you long enough to — ah!” A strong hand grabs you by your waist and pulls you into his lap while his other hand snatches the back of your neck. You will never not be rendered speechless by his mere strength. Thumb presses just beneath your ear, his golden gaze staring into where you soul should be.

“Missed me, did you, pet?” Nimble fingers stroke your upper thigh, leaning in so his nose brushes along yours. “Business comes first. You should know this better than anyone.” Warm breath on your lips, Raphael’s voice no more than a deep rumble. You’re on fire for him and lean in to get a taste. He tilts his head back, just out of reach, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Come on, Raphael.” You whine and try to press in closer. He grumbles, fingers inching ever so close to your inner thigh but he stops short.

“Whine all you want, mouse. I have work to do.” One last smoldering glance before his attention turns back to the papers in front of him, removing his hands from you. No, no, this won’t do. The ache between your legs is unbearable now, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded. You need him badly, so much that your immediate action is to snatch him by the collar of his doublet and wrench those caramel eyes back to you.

An animalistic growl rips from his throat, his nose scrunching in annoyance. You blink and he has your hands pinned behind you back and his forehead pressed into yours, so hard that it makes your ears ring.

“Behave.” Sharp and angry against your ear, his fangs scratching the sensitive skin. “Perhaps I’ll be generous enough to offer you some relief.” Another nip and he leans back, expression back to cool and calm but you see the slight blush in his cheeks. You squirm in his grasp but it’s futile to try to break free… so you give a deep, defeated sigh as Raphael’s attention turns back to his work.

Still, you find yourself smiling. You are most certainly still special to him.

[jiminsass-istant]

TW: jicooking (fanfic)

Context: The jikook show is going to ruin me for any other show ever. I just know it. Imagine AYS is over and you go over to netflix and it's all meh, no jimin, no jk, no giggles. Then you go over to appletv, same. Then you go to hulu, same shxt. Nothing will ever come close. I'm already sick and wrecked and ruined.

____________________________________________________________

It's the year 2045. I'm on my 118th watch of AYS. I have already watched it at 0.25x, 0.5x, 0.75x , rewinded, with zero volume, on Dolby speakers, streamed it in my present car and old car, in my tablet, office PC and smart TV.

I count the hairs on JK's arm, I can still count all 5813 of them. I have taken 648934984 screenshots of Jimin's bare legs. I take 1 more, just in case. I pause every time they "i am you, you are me". I wipe the single tear off my eye and continue. But this time, I notice something I have never noticed before. The whole tumblr community has churned and squeezed the 8 episodes and 3 behind the scenes every day, annually, monthly and biweekly, every tkker has been trolled, every anti has either moved on or is in an institution. But this.. this is new. I see it in the 7th episode. Did I tell you I'm on my 118th watch? I see the toothbrushes have been exchanged. What? They have exchanged toothbrushes. They don't care. They are gross. They are in love. Their dentist hates them. Wait. I gotta tell somebody...Does the jikook tag still exist on tumblr? Does tumblr still exist? Nevermind. I go to Xpro (twitter pro). I finally bought the premium. So now, it allows me to like stuff while keeping them private. Even I can't see my likes. But I do get a personal message from Elon's AI persona every month which is a review of my liked posts and how I can upgrade my Xpro xperience. The real Elon is de@d. He was ki!!ed by an Xpro bluetick bot account.

I need to let somebody know. I need to share my discovery with old buddies. Suddenly, I see a "JIKOOK LIVE TOGETHER" trending with 1566 posts. Pretty low, but it's there. A single person has hijacked the tag to mention S.Korea's govt. I come across a blurry video. A face with half moon eyes, biggest smile, waving from a big goth mansion's balcony. He is looking at the camera, he doesn't care. They are gross. A taller man appears behind him. He starts feeding him what looks like a large pancake. They are gross. Suddenly, I don't care anymore.

I don't care about the toothbrushes they shared 23 years ago.

I log off the internet to get a smoke. They are gross. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm sure of that. I'm sure now.

[tryingtimi]

Books of 2024 (2023 or close to it)

Thank you for the tag @barbex it sounds like a fun one hehe. 9 books should be listed that were read in the last 12 months (or alternatively liked when you read it) if I'm right. And when I read the rules I had the same reaction: mind went blank on if I ever read a single book lol. Luckily I keep track of my reading because I like watching them back.

No pressure tagging: @aninkwellofnectar, @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @the-void-writes, @circa-specturgia, @aalinaaaaaa, @dyrewrites, @italiangothicwriteblr, @cherrybombfangirlwrites, @blind-the-winds and anyone who wants to join.

All of the listed were read last year and which I liked especially.

When The Stars Alight by Camilla Andrew (@aninkwellofnectar). Bi MC, gaslamp fantasy, gothic, court intrigue, delicious spice

You've already seen this many times on my page, because I really enjoyed this book and it was a window to many things I didn't know I'd enjoy in a story. So many beautiful description, beautifully emotional and sexy sex, rarely seen complex character dynamics and so much mouth watering food.

Éjféli Iskolák (Midnight Schools) by Attila Veres. lovecraftian horror set in Budapest

It's a horror short story collection by a hungarian author who I got recommended by a collegue. Attila Veres has a talent to capture that melancholic, sometimes surrelistic feeling living in Budapest which makes his work so authentic. But also very Big Ew for all the horroristic shit he created (in the best way.) My favourite one was the 'Porn After Midnight'.

Yumi and The Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanders. M/F romance focus, sci-fi/fantasy, anime-esque

You all know I'm a Sanderson trash. And the fact I, the slowest reader on the earth, read this book in two days, proved that very much lol. It felt like watching an anime, I swear to god. There's magic, time travel kinda thing, pretty innocent humour, loads of painting in it.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickenes. christmas nostalgia, historical fiction?

We all know this, but I'm very behind on classics book-wise so I began to catch up last year. Espceially because I love the animated movie so much. It was a lovely and educative read.

Y/N by Esther Yi. litfic, kpop fandom and industry satire basically, comteporary

It was one of my favourites from last year tbh, because I couldn't put down the damn e-reader. A very strange little read, 100% unhinged, but made me realise I might enjoy litfic, so I'll read more this year. Also, the story is not "summarizable" but the fact that this is the first two review on GoodReads tells a lot I think: reading this feels like that one night when i accidentally smoked weed for the first time I sort of feel like I just hallucinated this entire thing Yeah.

Even Though I Knew The End by C. L. Polk. F/F romance, fantasy, novella

Lesbian magical detective. Done, sold. I wanted to read this a while now, and it did not disappoint. It gave exactly what it promised. Fast paced little adventure with some humour and a lovely couple. Not a life-chaning read but as I mentioned, it gave what it promised. I enjoyed it anyway.

Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice. M/M romance kinda, supernatural, philosophical

Finally started to read the books my all time favourite movies are made of. Loved every bits of this, though sometimes it got way too wordy or I don't even know what. Overall though, it got me. Full of contemplation about human nature, God (though I could do a bit less without that) and death, plus the iconic vampire husbands and their arguments. It's just a real long broody monologue of Louis tbh. I'm fine with that it seems, though.

Legend & Lattes by Travis Baldree. F/F romance (not focus), cosy fantasy

Read pretty fast too. It's very much what it promises also. Cosy, and relaxing, and endearing. Love the concept of how a stoic warrior woman can settle finally and do something other than fighting. It was cute.

Tress of The Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson. M/F romance (not that important i think), cosy fantasy, Princess Bride-vibes

Yes, I got all the secret project, because of course I would. This one was also something like Legends & Lattes imo. In Sanderson style tho. I'm also loving when the narrator is a third person telling the story. Those are always fun. Oh and the story had many cuteness, humour and Our Flag Means Death kinda pirates.

[tzifron]

One-third of American kitchens have gas stoves—and evidence is piling up that they’re polluting homes with toxic chemicals. A study this summer found that using a single gas stove burner on high can raise levels of cancer-causing benzene above what’s been observed from secondhand smoke. 

It turns out gas stoves have much more in common with cigarettes. A new investigation by NPR and the Climate Investigations Center found that the gas industry tried to downplay the health risks of gas stoves for decades, turning to many of the same public-relations tactics the tobacco industry used to cover up the risks of smoking. Gas utilities even hired some of the same PR firms and scientists that Big Tobacco did. Utilities were advised to “mount the massive, consistent, long-range public relations programs.”

Earlier this year, an investigation from DeSmog showed that the industry understood the hazards of gas appliances as far back as the 1970s and concealed what they knew from the public. The new documents fill in the details of how gas utilities and trade groups obscured the science around those health risks in an attempt to sell more gas stoves and avoid regulations—tactics still in use today. 

The investigation comes amid a culture war over gas stoves. Towns across the country have passed bans on natural gas hookups in new buildings, and the federal Consumer Product Safety Commission is looking into their health hazards. The commission has said it doesn’t plan on banning gas stoves entirely after the mention of the idea sparked a backlash last December. That same month, a peer-reviewed study found that nearly 13 percent of childhood asthma cases in the United States were linked to using gas stoves. But the American Gas Association, the industry’s main lobbying group, argued that those findings were “not substantiated by sound science” and that even discussing a link to asthma was “reckless.”

It’s a strategy that goes back as far back as 1972, according to the most recent investigation. That year, the gas industry got advice from Richard Darrow, who helped manufacture controversy around the health effects of smoking as the lead for tobacco accounts at the public relations firm Hill + Knowlton. At an American Gas Association conference, Darrow told utilities they needed to respond to claims that gas appliances were polluting homes and shape the narrative around the issue before critics got the chance. Scientists were starting to discover that exposure to nitrogen dioxide—a pollutant emitted by gas stoves—was linked to respiratory illnesses. So Darrow advised utilities to “mount the massive, consistent, long-range public relations programs necessary to cope with the problems.”

The American Gas Association also hired researchers to conduct studies that appeared to be independent. They included Ralph Mitchell of Battelle Laboratories, who had also been funded by Philip Morris and the Cigar Research Council. In 1974, Mitchell’s team, using a controversial analysis technique, examined the literature on gas stoves and said they found no significant evidence that the stoves caused respiratory illness. In 1981, a paper funded by the Gas Research Institute and conducted by the consulting firm Arthur D. Little—also affiliated with Big Tobacco—surveyed the research and concluded that the evidence was “incomplete and conflicting.”

[itcamefromthetoybox]

Past His Prime

Hey there, hi there, ho there! I’m back. Ended up taking a break from the blog to finish moving and just never got around to it for a while. One of those, “oh yeah, I’ll work on that tomorrow” things where I kept meaning to but kept forgetting. But yes! I am back! And on my update schedule of “when I get to it.” But what exactly dragged me back? New toys from the upcoming “Transformers: One” movie! Today, we’re going to be looking at “Transformers: One Prime Changers Optimus Prime.” How does the latest version of the Autobot leader hold up? Is he a hit or miss? And is he worth the big price tag? Let’s dive in and answer those questions!

Now, as of this article, the movie isn’t out yet, so I can’t spoil anything or say too much about the plot or characters, other than that the movie is about Orion Pax and D-16, the best friends who will become the heroic Optimus Prime and the evil Megatron. If you don’t know who those characters are, then I am very confused as to why you’re reading a review of Transformers toys. Are you that bored at work?

Now, what is a Prime Changer? Prime Changers, basically, are the main figures of the “Transformers: One” toyline. They’re simpler than the collector-aimed “Studio Series” line, and are the off the shelf figures for kids you’d think of when you think of Transformers. No fancy gimmicks, no overly complicated transformations, just a robot that turns into something and back again.

At first look, Prime Changer Optimus Prime looks great. He’s very colorful, blocky-looking, and seems to be exactly what you think of when you think of a young, pre-war Optimus. He has all the expected Optimus details, like the smoke stacks on his shoulders, the chest window, and the wheels on his legs. He’s supposed to capture the essence of Optimus Prime, and he does. Of course, these days, that means he also takes a massive amount of inspiration from the original, G1 Optimus Prime that’s been around since the 80’s and who gets a new figure every single year with no exception, so do keep that in mind. Now, when you get a closer look, flaws become apparent. The wheels in Prime’s shoulders are a different grey than the pant on him, so they stand out like a sore thumb, which takes away from the look. Hollow areas become more noticeable, and there’s nothing particularly new or interesting to compensate for those cosmetic letdowns.

Articulation-wise, Optimus is pretty decent. Very posable, lots of joints, just as you would expect. There’s nothing really shocking or dynamic here. Saying that a mainline Transformer is very posable is like saying ice is cold. Like, yeah, I would certainly hope so. If it wasn’t, I’d have some concerns. It’s important to note, though, that there are some limits on his poses. Optimus comes with a removable Matrix of Leadership that he can theoretically hold in his hands to recreate the classic “lighting our darkest hour” pose everyone does with the Matrix. The thing is, his big chest gets in the way of that, so he needs to hold the Matrix at about gut level. It looks a lot less impressive than you’d hope and a lot more like Optimus is rubbing it on his stomach for luck.

Speaking of his waist area, while he does have a waist joint, his crotch design actually limits how much the waist can rotate. And by “limits,” I mean he can barely rotate. It’s kinda a letdown, because the parts are there, but the toy itself stops you from using them.

So, this is a Transformer, so let’s talk about transforming. I hated this part. It wasn’t complicated, true. It was very straightforward, with a few extra steps like rotating the arms and opening the legs, and the process integrates Prime’s ax accessory into it, so that has a place to store, which is nice. The problem is that you gotta line up some tabs just so to make sure the whole thing pegs together right, and that was a living hell. I spent more time trying to get those tabs on his legs and the holes on his back lined up than I did on any other step of the transformation. It was frustrating as hell, and I really don’t wanna do that again. Also, part of the transformation is unfolding the truck grill from behind Prime’s chest. It’s a simple process with no extra steps, but if you have short nails, it’s gonna be more of a pain than it should be. Getting the axe into position for vehicle mode takes way too much fiddling and adjusting to be worthwhile. Transforming this guy was really annoying and not all that fun. As for getting him back to robot mode, that’s a damn chore. Prime’s back piece doesn’t like doing a lot of what it’s supposed to, and parts pop off constantly. Unless you’re very careful, expect Prime’s arms, chest, and back to pop off at least once during transforming, which especially sucks because reattaching the back is a pain. It took a while before I was able to transform him even once without any issues, and I remain convinced I just got lucky.

Of course, Optimus Prime turns into a truck. It’s basically an alien version of the truck he always turns into. If you’ve seen one G1 Optimus Prime truck mode, you have a solid idea of what this dude looks like. The truck mode doesn’t roll well at all. The back wheels just barely clear the legs to roll unencumbered, to the point that if you get a figure with the molding off by even a smidge, you’re outta luck.

Let’s talk accessories. Optimus comes with his axe, two smokestacks, and the Matrix of Leadership. The axe looks pretty good. Between the sculpting and color, it looks like a mechanical weapon charged with energy, and the sculpting and paint at the base make it look like the axe emerged from Prime’s palm.

It fits over Prime’s hand, with a peg inside the base that Prime holds onto, The problem here is that once Prime has it, he doesn’t wanna drop it. It’s a snug fit. Too snug. The way Prime’s hands are attached to his wrists means that you need to be careful taking the axe out of his hand, or else the hand will pop off. I find that pressing against where his hand connects to his wrist helps hold the hand in place while I pull the axe off.

Prime’s smokestacks are meh. They can be removed from his shoulders to be held as a pair of pistols that are blatantly just smokestacks in his hands. When you transform Prime, they will want to come right out of there, so keep an eye on them.

The Matrix, though, is awful. Just, really awful. It looks and feels cheap, which is a shame considering it’s the damn Matrix of Leadership. It’s also inconsistent about staying in Prime’s chest. Sometimes, it fits pretty well. Sometimes, it feels a bit loose. But the thing I really hate about it is that its plastic and design are definitely cheap. This became clear to me the first time I transformed Prime. When transforming Prime, the instructions say you can leave the Matrix in his chest, because its storage spot is a peg on the back of his truck grill.

The instructions are a sheet of lies. The Matrix takes up just enough space where it will get knocked out when transforming Prime, or , worse, it’ll break. The first time I transformed this figure, before I even took pictures, one of the handles on the Matrix snapped off.

This actually revealed how cheap it was to me. See, the break was a clean break. TOO clean. It seems like the handles of the Matrix are actually separate parts that were glued onto the Matrix, and that glue’s not exactly the stuff of legends. When I looked at the break, I also noticed that it looks like the Matrix itself is actually painted over blue plastic, the same kind Prime’s axe is made of. The Matrix is very small, and the plastic is very thin, so any amount of force on it’s going to break it. Hell, the plastic is so weak and cheap that when the handle broke off, I didn’t even notice. I didn’t feel any resistance or indicator it was in the way of the transformation. It was there, and then it broke. As easy as I breathe with as little notice. If you wanna keep it safe, just take it out and set it aside, only to be used for poses.

And now, of course, the main issues I have with this figure. I know plastic’s gotten more expensive, so toy companies are cutting costs. I get that. But by God, this figure feels cheap. The plastic feels so cheap to the touch that it’s the first thing my wife commented on when she touched Prime. When you start looking him over in your hands, you notice how hollow the toy is. He LOOKS very solid and bulky, like Optimus should. This makes how light he is feel surprising, and how hollow he is feel like a letdown. Some parts, like his chest plate are thin enough that I can see the shadow of my hand on the other side. Also, he’s just so damn small, He’s frustratingly short. I’m gonna sound like an old man here, but I remember when a $20 Transformer had some size and heft to him. This Prime’s smaller than the $10 ones I had as a kid and still do have. Between the cheap plastic, the parts popping off, how hollow and short Prime is, and how easily the Matrix broke, the whole toy just feels super cheap. 

“Transformers: One Prime Changer Optimus Prime” is available at mass retail for a starting price of $20 and is aimed at ages 6 and up. Would I recommend him? Absolutely not. This is really not a good toy. The plastic feels cheap to the touch, the transformation’s a pain, parts pop off way too easily, his guns are literally just his smokestacks held at a different angle, the Matrix is small, thin, and breaks easily, his waist is impeded by his own body, and he’s just so damn short. I can’t in good consciousness tell people to spend $20 on something so damn small that doesn’t even bring anything new to the table and, if anything, is a significant downgrade from what’s come before. Like, I compared this to older figures I have. It’s literally more money for less toy. This figure was such a letdown that it made me not want to get the other Prime Changer figures. I was actually turned off from an entire series of figures because of how annoying and disappointing this one toy was. He looks good from a distance, but then you get him in your hands and all the flaws, big and small, come shining through. Definitely pass on this one. I know, I sound like an old man. “Things were so much better when I was a kid.” Well, I handed this figure and some of my older ones to my wife, someone with very little interest in Transformers, who didn’t grow up with the figures or shows and has no problem telling me when she thinks I’m completely wrong or being that old guy. She actually agreed with me completely. Compared to the older toys, this one’s really not good. It’s more money for a toy that is significantly smaller and of lower quality. I know this is what’s out there, and this is all kids and collectors have on the market, but that doesn’t mean you should throw money at something that’s clearly not good. You want a great Optimus toy? Go on eBay. There’s plenty of fantastic old Primes from past movies and shows there for decent prices that WON’T break in two seconds and actually have some size to them. Next time, who knows what we’ll be looking at! Hopefully something I don’t feel an immense case of Buyer’s Remorse over. This is JS signing off and wishing you Happy Toy Hunting!

[profoundbondfanfic]

Because we all need some sweetness in our lives and who is Dean without some delicious pie? Especially when said pie comes with a side of Castiel. Here’s some Destiel bakery aus🥧

–All fic links go to our tagged reviews–

Cupcakes and Kittens by MandalaRose [Explicit, 73k words]

Dean Winchester is not a cat guy. But one softhearted Sasquatch brother and a mad dash to the pet store later, Dean somehow finds himself the sole caregiver for an abandoned baby kitten. It’s a good thing that quirky pet store girl gave him the Twitter handle for her cat rescue buddy, CJ. Dean doesn’t know about the kitten, but he sure as hell could use some rescuing right about now. Castiel Novak is not a baker. But one interfering best friend and some dismal Yelp reviews for his brother’s coffee shop later, Castiel somehow finds himself standing in front of a cook top in his very first baking class, his non-existent baking aspirations literally going up in smoke around him. It’s a good thing his gorgeous, green-eyed classmate is there to rescue him…

Just a Little Sweeter by Malmuses [Teen, 8k words]

Sam is usually on farmer’s market duty for Two Brothers’ Bakery, leaving Dean to run the store. When Sam gets the flu, Dean steps in and takes over their stall for the day, finally getting a good look at the town’s flourishing artisan market. He expected a lot of vegetables and snotty-looking juice. What he didn’t expect was a blue-eyed honey seller and his barefoot, slightly-too-honest kid.

Kiss the Baker by Ltleflrt [Explicit, 113k words]

Jo is pregnant and craving something a little bit unusual. When she sends Dean on a mission to find her some chocolate cake donuts with bacon sprinkles, he’s sure that he’ll fail. Luckily his partner Benny comes to his rescue and introduces him to a quirky little bakery that sells all kinds of weird (and delicious!) baked goods. And they do special orders! Dean finds excuses to keep going back, and Castiel finds excuses to keep giving him special treats.

Morning Glory by edgarallanrose [Explicit, 26k words]

Dean can no longer hunt, Cas has gone from Warrior of God to beekeeper, and Sam has left home. Taking place two years after the Season 12 finale, Dean and Cas have to learn what it means to be themselves, and who they are meant to be to each other, without the threat of an impending apocalypse hanging over their heads.

Paradise Found by Whiskyboys [Explicit, 40k words]

Milton’s Paradise Found: a secluded resort for single alphas and omegas searching for that special someone. A tranquil romantic setting where connections can be made and true love can blossom. Dean isn’t looking for that special anyone. He’s sworn off relationships since he found his girlfriend riding an alpha in their bed. But he can hardly say no when Sam ambushes him and sends him off on an all-inclusive, fully-paid vacation. At least there’s a pretty waiter he can ogle while he tries to find an alpha he doesn’t want to punch in the face. Cas is helping out at his family’s resort while he tries to find inspiration for his next trashy romantic novel. Between attempting to kickstart his muse, covering for the mono-plagued waitstaff, and ensuring his brother doesn’t kill their increasingly dithering father, he has his hands full. Then he meets the green-eyed, foul-mouthed, plaid-wearing omega of his dreams. It’s love at first sight. Unfortunately, Dean doesn’t seem to realize it.

Pies and Prejudice by linoresearch [Explicit, 97k words]

Dean didn’t even want to enter this damn competition. He was happy with his life, more or less. It might not look like much from the outside, or to a younger brother headed towards a big time law career, but it wasn’t so bad that Dean needed to scrabble around for any opportunity to make a change – particularly not one as stupid as this. He’s going to throttle Sam the next time he sees him, for getting him involved in this ridiculous Bake-Off TV show. It’s bad enough that Dean has to cook in front of people he doesn’t know; he now has to go through the humiliation of being judged on it too. Its humiliation piled on humiliation, and to make matters worse Dean has to play nice with all the other suckers involved, like that rich dick-bag Castiel Novak. God, he hates that guy, and he hates that someone so awful has such a frustratingly fine ass.

Sparks by vipjuly [Explicit, 21k words]

The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It’s ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it. So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn’t exist. They definitely don’t go anywhere near it, either. Dean, though. Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity. Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain’t so bad, either. Y'know. For a monster.

The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through Chlamydia by violue [Explicit, 89k words]

Dean doesn’t expect to see his one night stand again, but then again he also doesn’t expect to find out he has an STD. Sometimes life is hilarious like that.

[minatalks]

my brain is on graphic design mode ihave not a single thought in my brain i havbe no questions ummmmmm..give me ur review of all the big cats :)

welcome to the most uninformed review ever

cheetah

adorable face, kind of reminds me of ollie, but their bodies look like a drawing that got the proportions slightly wrong and they're too skinny. i feel like a slavic grandma telling them to eat more, they're all skin and bone! the emo eyeliner is a bold choice, but they rock it

leopard

adorable and acted their ass off in tarzan, talk about versatility! look at those teeth!! shaped like a plushie with some of the best big cat paws. a true star

cougar

idk who decided to name smoking hot older women after these guys, but they were right. stunning, models of the group. have u seen that walk?? it would be an honor to be killed by one

jaguar

i'm going to be honest the two minute google image search didn't help much with telling what the differences between a jaguar and leopard are, so i'll just say whatever i said for leopards goes for them too. their spots are rly pretty though

lion

hot take that isn't backed up by anything, a little overrated. like the mane is cool, but lion king did a lot of heavy lifting for their brand

tiger

now these guys are the real deal. the bears of the big cats, huge plushies, adorable paws and try telling me you don't want to pet that coat. impossible. this list and google images made me realise these guys are my favourite. i don't need more research there's just something about an animal that looks well fed, healthy and a soft coat that clicks in my head. if i saw one in the wild as a small child i would absolutely try to pet it and die without regrets

[topgunreacts]

Here's a hilariously self-centered comment for everyone to enjoy

I got this at the end of a chapter where I remind people that launching their amateur Kirkus Reviews career in the comments of a fanfiction without being asked is rude as fuck. (Not Top Gun. I made the author's note after a person reacted with utter scandal and dismay to ONE sentence referencing a protag sleeping with someone outside the pairing before they even met)

Highlights

"Hmm"

"Ffn encourages criticism so writers can improve" Girl WHAT. ~*~fanfiction dot com has a culture of criticism~*~ WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. ITS CULTURE IS YAOI, BAD SEX, AND WORSE FORMATTING

The assumption that everyone is writing fanfiction "to improve" [in a way this person approves of, naturally]. Sorry, some people post things that are full of mistakes because they don't give a shit, and neither should you! Click that back button, babe!

"Maybe the people over at ffn are more the university grad type?" LASKDJFLASK girl PLEASE for the love of god give me some of what you're smoking. This is my favorite line. It is shirt-worthy

Big Cringe[tm] all around

"Your talk of hurt feelings strikes me as kinda immature" is this flirting

"HMM"

"It could be a difference in educational background and/or age" oh my goooood the Cringe. The condescension. The possibility that this wasn't even MEANT to be mean, but EARNEST, which is even more Cringe.

I'M the one being immature. The 20+ year fandom veteran informing people that critiquing fanworks without solicitation is and always has been rude as fuck. Not you, the oblivious, self-important grad student condescending to me because you think I ought to expect and desire [yours, naturally] criticism.

The implication that I am less educated than they are. I'm willing to bet the possibility I could be more educated did not even cross their mind.

The absolutely unsubtle classism dripping from every word

And while we're critiquing without asking, (and treating judgment of people's writing as the Default Reading Experience) I will point out the spelling of "caveat" as "creveate" despite the fact that this comment was edited at least once. Come onnnnnnn.

They didn't even criticize anything! Their single comment on this story before I replied, froze the thread as a monument to their sins, blocked them, and nailed their corpse to the wall, was THIS. They spent time saying THIS instead of literally anything else. An undesired opinion, responding to my post about not wanting undesired opinions.

Pitiful.

Literary critique is a skill. It is not a selection of negative observations written using big words. It is not a list of likes or dislikes. It is not suggestion itself. It is a skill, and a difficult one to develop at that. The fact that your English teachers always made you "peer edit" other students' essays does not make you a real critic. Go to the bars and calm the fuck down. Talk to a single human being who isn't also in your ENG 680 class.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28/09/2024 (Alex Warren)

For a fifth week, Sabrina Carpenter remains at #1 with “Taste” - it’s been there since release, and shows no real sign of decline. I suppose time will tell, but for now, welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, G-Eazy

Rundown

This is a pretty slow week, and if Alex Warren having the biggest debut doesn’t tell you that, everything else should, but that doesn’t mean nothing happened and of course, we start as always with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after a peak in the top 40 or five weeks within the covered region. This week, we bid a fair adieu to, firstly, a couple songs that really did not kick off and are gone really early like “ALL RED” by Playboi Carti after just a week in the top 40, “Moi” by Central Cee and RAYE, “Nobody’s Soldier” by Hozier and “Pretty Slowly” by Benson Boone, alongside two more seasoned hits in the form of “Fortnight” by Taylor Swift featuring Post Malone and, thank the heavens, “I Don’t Wanna Wait” by David Guetta and the hacks over at OneRepublic. I have never once said my coverage is unbiased.

Apart from Ariana Grande’s “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” back at #74 and “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas at #71, just creeping back up in a slow week, alongside Coldplay’s “Yellow” at #62, we don’t have many returns of note, so we can look towards the interesting and relatively significant gains for “KEEP UP” by Odetari at #51, kind of surprised that’s making it higher, “Close to You” by Gracie Abrams at #47, “Who” by Jimin at #40, “Diet Pepsi” by Addison Rae at #37, “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren at #32 thanks in part to the new song which we’ll talk about later and the album next week. Then we have “feelslikeimfallinginlove” by Coldplay at #32, “WILDFLOWER” by Billie Eilish at #23, “Embrace It” by Ndotz taking virality up to #20, and finally, “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan at #15.

And as for our top five, well, it’s mostly stagnant. Sure, at #5 and #4, “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter swapped places with “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, but our top three stays still: “Espresso” by Sabrina at #3, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #2 and of course, “Taste” at #1. Now to run through our batch of new songs, a small but really mixed bag here, starting with:

New Entries

#73 - “I Only Smoke When I Drink” - nimino

Produced by nimino

Alright, I’ll bite: who the Hell is nimino? And perhaps more importantly, does it matter? This is a woozy, bordering on fuzzy and lo-fi, spin on a house tune from a producer based in London who has been active since at leasst 2018 in EDM but hadn’t broken out with a big single until now. Firstly, here’s a way of telling if someone is more of a real deal bedroom producer finally getting a deserved break instead of an opportunist TikTok viral moment: this is a bit of a deep cut of a sample, isn’t it? R&B singer Rayana Jay released her song “Hangover” in 2019, it’s a smooth jam with just barely over a million streams on Spotify and a post-success feature from G-Eazy alongside the much more unknown and definitely much more talented Beni Moun. It’s not something that stands out to me, but is a cute enough song that closes her album - it’s rough to finish your record with a G-Eazy feature, though. It stood out to nimino though! He takes not the chorus but the opening line I wouldn’t think twice about to make the titular hook, turning it into a mantra unrecognisable from its original context.

This new song has flittering percussion and synths similar to a Fred again.. track alongside the filtered, more typical house drums which all eventually collide into a louder, almost overwhelming melodic blend against the original cooed hook. The main synth may be too loud, actually, but it phases in very well into a chirpy rhythm that really reminds me of the late 2010s with the cute vocal sound effects and one-offs like the kid laughing, the shuttered future bass-esque synth and nice little percussive percs that show a level of detail to the production here. The sound design is top-notch, the drop is not one-note as the second time around, we get a much more filtered rendition that renders everything into pitch-shifted fragments and even new elements from the original sample coming in, before a final lead-up to what seems like a crescendo amongst 2-step drums… and it just doesn’t arrive, which in this case is genuinely disappointing, because the potential is there for a longer song and really impactful third drop. For what it is, though, it still exceeds my expectations greatly and is a neat, fun little jam I wouldn’t be against seeing chart for a few weeks longer. I believe this is what the kids are calling “stutter house” but I may also need to check out more of nimino’s other work to see what he’s been up to outside of this viral hit, and also to see if he ultimately fits into that genre or, like many EDM DJs nowadays, is a jack of all trades. I feel like his late-summer, wavy sound will fit into many different styles. For now, I recommend this… and not really the song it came from.

#72 - “TEFLON DON” - Future

Produced by Southside, Topp, Peeb, MoXart Beatz, London on da Track and Desro

So, Future dropped an album. Or mixtape. Or album called mixtape. Either way you shake it, it does not seem like this drop will make as strong a wave of his duo of collaborative projects with producer Metro Boomin, primarily because of how there are no features, and it’s an overall rawer project that spends most of its time in and out of short, hard beats with a lot of decadence and deviance from the main affair and no-one else. Given its shorter length, the lack of other voices does not really lead to it dragging as you’d expect, and outside of other long-time collaborators Wheezy and Southside, there aren’t many recurring producers, and a lot of beats have varied contributions from several. There’s a snappier and more diverse palette of instrumentals than you could have expected as a result. However, that doesn’t translate to sales, and this album debuted at #11 on the UK Albums Chart, with only one song charting - I didn’t expect to discuss MIXTAPE PLUTO at all but I’m sure the last-minute music video helped matters, though it’s also the opener - I assume many tapped out after realising there wouldn’t be any guest stars, but Pluto does hold the tape well on his own. This has a hard trap beat, some operatic textures, and splintering production amongst the other alien loops that find themselves in his mix serving one verse from Future, comparing himself to John Gotti like many a rapper before him and not saying much of interest. Why do I prefer this to many other trap bangers? It’s simple: firstly, the beat has a genuine dark menace with the vocals and strings, but mostly because of Future, whose relentless flow locks him into falsetto vocal cracks and nonsensical ad-libs that add so much more character to this track than needs be. It’s far from my ultimate favourites on the album - “SURFING A TSUNAMI” and “LOST MY DOG” are what I recommend - but it’s a fair opener that primes you into exactly what you’d expect from a decent trap solo tape from the king of the genre.

#70 - “S P E Y S I D E” - Bon Iver

Produced by Justin Vernon and Jim-E Stack

Sure, Bon Iver. We’re just doing whatever the fuck this week anyway, it appears, so why not Bon Iver? Ostensibly an indie folk band around since the 2000s, the catalogue of which I’m admittedly not familiar, Bon Iver is synonymous with its lead songwriter and vocalist, Justin Vernon, who will often use the name when in collaboration with bigger acts like Ye, Taylor Swift and Travis Scott, with the Bon Iver albums themselves also increasingly using outside collaborators, making the name feel closer to, say, Tame Impala, even if they’re yet to be that level of one-man band, though they started out as such initially. It doesn’t appear that any of the band actually play on this one, though, with pop producers Jim-E Stack and BJ Burton helping out for a lead single I also did not expect to chart at all this week.

He has - or they have - got an EP coming out and interestingly, this has less of the folktronica, art pop and R&B influences Vernon has been messing around with for the past decade now, instead going for a stripped-back, conventional singer-songwriter track with some great acoustic guitar playing from Mr. Iver, alongside a falsetto vocal that I have always struggled to distinguish from James Blake if I’m honest, especially since I usually hear him in a poppier context. There’s not even a chorus here, but there is a delightful swell of strings jumpstarted by a floaty, almost flippant falsetto chirp from Vernon, though that same swell has a certain melancholy to it, fittingly when there’s a great deal of despair in the content. Vernon begs at the end of the song for him to be made a man from what’s left of his life, one that he acknowledges as full of mistakes, nothing like how he’d have hoped. He starts to enter the stage of sobering up, realising what’s been wrong by the tail-end, but that’s only after moping about self-sabotage for so long that actually articulating what the problem is seems unnecessary. The last verse’s last glint of hope is not a plea for fixing, but more a rearrangement: he barely even resembles the man he’s supposed, so with whatever remains, make a new one. It’s a sombre ballad, it won’t last on the charts, and there isn’t a particular moment that really resonates with me like a specifically poetic turn of phrase or vocal inflection: there’s little to the song over than vocal, guitar and strings, so it’s not very layered in that front. There’s something missing that prevents me from gravitating to it in a specific sense, outside of the context of the tracks it will be sandwiched between, but it’s a powerful vocal, pleaant listen and downright earnest song that deserves well enough to be here.

#66 - “Heavy is the Crown” - Linkin Park

Produced by Mike Shinoda

Well, I suppose with all the controversy floating around, you’d want to move quickly and release some good songs to shut everyone complaining up, right? Well, potentially, that method will work - given the YouTube comments and the tour on the way, with pretty much guaranteed sales, I don’t doubt it will. It won’t work on me, though, primarily because this song sucks. I liked “The Emptiness Machine”, but this feels pretty transparent in its approach: let’s recreate “Faint”. From their 2003 album Meteora, the single starts with an eerie strings sample before dropping into the distorted guitars and a jungle-adjacent drum sound, as co-lead Mike Shinoda raps slightly awkwardly with his characteristic digital stutter, before Chester Bennington crashes in for not just the anthemic chorus but a guttural screech for the bridge. It peaked at #15, but this isn’t a direct sample, instead just a very similarly-structured song which could be a decent thematic song, but it feels a tad lazy when Shinoda is referencing his own rhyme schemes and newly-hired Emily Armstrong also does a long scream in reference to Chester’s iconic one from “Given Up” that really just does not hit the same: technically impressive, but it doesn’t feel as “real”, especially with all the electronic, reverb-heavy production that has flattened this song in terms of having the impact it wants to, including that gross Auto-Tune pre-chorus and the unnecessary echoing. More than actually creating new and interesting music with their new members, this song feels more like a corporate-requested Linkin Park compilation of revisited ideas in a song that’s not even three minutes, squashed into some promo link with League of Legends. Yes, really. I appreciate that since they’re in a genre where sounding like you care is kind of required, they can’t go fully into autopilot, but this has erased some of my hopes for that new album, given this is completely a retread, very transparently, and nothing else.

#35 - “Burning Down” - Alex Warren

Produced by Adam Yaron

You know the stomp-rock revival is really coming to a head when we’re giving Alex Warren, who barely really has the one hit with “Carry You Home”, a serviceable folk-pop tune but nothing special or distinct, a second hit… and an album this week! Maybe we’ll see how that does to see if he can join Noah Kahan in being the figureheads for a really unexpected turn in pop - rock? - music, but for now, he’s got a new single to promote it, it’s debuting over trap legend Future on one of his many peak runs, a Bon Iver lead single, and megastar band Linkin Park’s video game crossover marketing launch, so there must be something to it. There must be. There’s not. Okay, I suppose, the gospel organs are a tad unique, even if it’s moreso just bringing the Christian imagery that’s often subtext in folk songs to a more explicit angle, reflected in the choral vocals and a tone from Warren that resembles David Kushner - yikes - over a dark atmosphere leading into the song that completely flails into a swinging tune by the time the chorus hits. It’s a nasty post-breakup piss-off, but it’s not fully unlikeable given the smug tone has some more genuine drama, with the backing vocals doing a lot of heavy work there, and the chorus being genuinely catchy helping a great deal too. I do find Warren’s vocals here actually pretty shit, generally, he sounds dull on the verses and I have no idea what emotion he’s trying to convey the rest of the time, not sure he does either. In fact, given the mediocre writing that doesn’t really give much detail, he’s the weakest link in a song that sounds more professional than the breakout track, but also in a variation of this genre I don’t have much patience for. It’s once again serviceable, and I appreciate that there is much more character to this than “Carry You Home”. The problem is that I don’t really like that character, and whilst it’s not as immature as a Benson Boone, at least he sells that unlikeability factor in a really uniquely stressful way. This is just unremarkable.

Conclusion

That word does tend to summarise the week, both chart-wise and with the quality of these songs, though most of them remain on a pretty positive edge of the spectrum. nimino, whoever that is, grabs Best of the Week for “I Only Smoke When I Drink”, with Bon Iver just cutting Future off for the Honourable Mention with “S P E Y S I D E” - if it were another track, he could have ran away with it. I can only give one bad title here, Worst of the Week to Linkin Park’s “Heavy is the Crown”, but it’s not as offensively bad as much as it just being utterly see-through. As for what’s on the horizon, expect Kylie Minogue and JADE to land their new bops onto the chart, then maybe something from Alex Warren and Lady Gaga’s soundtrack companion album… and then The Weeknd and Playboi Carti following up their faltering singles with an immediate collab that will probably debut pretty high. I can’t say I’m excited for all of that, but we’re entering the end of the year, with just two months of non-Christmas chart-reviewing, so I suppose we’ll have to see. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy and I’ll see you next week!

[agentnico]

The Bikeriders (2024) review

Norman Reedus shows up for only 5 minutes and yet still has more dialogue here than in the entire 11 season run of The Walking Dead.

Plot: Over the course of a decade, a Midwestern motorcycle club evolves from a gathering place for local outsiders to a sinister gang, threatening the original group's way of life.

My screening was not full on this one, but of the people that were there it was primarily older women. I was wondering why this was the case until an arms naked Austin Butler popped up on screening and began flexing over a pool table, and I could literally feel the audience around drooling and then some. But in reality the target audience for this film are men, and more so men who love/ride motorbikes. As The Bikeriders is a deconstruction of coolness and biker culture as a macho posturing that is really an incredibly fragile ecosystem of male relationships and values. But there are so many cool bikes in this, and a lot of scenes involve guys just sitting around a bar endlessly chain smoking and chatting crap. For one I absolutely dug the sound design. Of course it could have been the good sound system of the cinema I was in (the Everyman) but I felt every rev of the engine. The sound is so forceful, it’s like being caught in a carburettor of a Harley Davidson. This partnered with a fantastic music soundtrack as it freewheels you through the many hits of the 60s and 70s, from The Stooges to The Shangri-Las, the sound is this movie’s secret weapon.

This movie is very much a guys hang-out sesh, and yes there is a loose narrative reminiscent of Goodfellas and even Tom Hardy’s Legend, but overall this is Jeff Nichols’ generalised outlook of the motorbike culture from a individual who seems absolutely infatuated with this community. As much as I loved the feel of this film and I was never actually bored at any moment, due to the structure of it all there wasn’t a single character I cared about. They’re all macho guys trying to showcase how badass they are, but essentially that’s all they have to them. The performances across the board are all engaging, but the reason we connect with them is purely cause we’re fans of the actors themselves. Austin Butler is a modern day movie star through and through, and since Elvis he’s been effortlessly cool non stop. Tom Hardy puts on a strikingly thick Chicago accent and again, is great to watch. Michael Shannon and Norman Reedus show up with crazy hair-dos and messy almost-barbaric physicalities, and Jodie Comer is a stuck in a narration bit and her character essentially only works as a romantic foil to provide the movie with some limited emotion, which is what it lacks.

The Bikeriders is a perfectly enjoyable crime drama that is an entertaining time, but also boils down to kind of nothing. There’s not much meaning to be found here besides the classic “let’s be cool”, however as a jacket wearer myself I got a big dig at seeing the various outfits and leather jackets characters were wearing. Essentially you won’t be disappointed when seeing this on a Saturday night, but chances are you will forget quite quickly.

Overall score: 6/10

[idkwhatimdoing-help]

~Raine's Reviews: Looking For Alaska~

Rating: 8/10 Author: John Green Year: 2005

First of all there was a sticker on the book, i tried to remove it, messed up, and put the sunflower sticker to cover it. I think it looks pretty <3

Overall, i liked it very much, but since it's a thriller, i wouldn't read it again, im planning on putting it back in the charity shop, bc i got from there. But i do believe that John Green doesn't know how to write anything that isn't white, straight teenagers. And i don't like his works much. However, this was his debut so im cutting him some slack here.

Horny teenagers. It was basically horny teenagers in a boarding school in Alabama. And my asexual, unAmerican ass was sooo amused at how their brain works

I loved that we slowly learn about Alaska's past, and how everything slowly starts to make sense. Bc her home life was all a mystery until she confessed about the day her mom had an aneurism and she didn't call 911. We had snippets, but it didn't make sense why she hated home.

The pranks were AMAZING. The Barn Night, The Flooding, Alaska's Memorial Prank. There was a freaking stripper in the Creek!!! Like man, what the hell!!

I have to say, the amount of drinking and smoking felt fake. Like, i don't really think that was how much they smoked and drank. And the fact that it was all over in school and everyone was doing it. Wrong, fake.

But the sex was very realistic. The fumbling and not knowing of teenagers. Lara and Pudge's confusion over a blowjob made me so happy.

The fact that we never actually found out if it was suicide or accident was also realistic. I feel like there is always the pressure on an author to make everything crystal clear by the end of the book/series. An that's just not the case a lot of times irl. And there are so many cases that we will never know if it was a suicide or accident

Alaska's ptsd/cptsd was portrayed really well. I don't think that would be the case if the book was from Alaska's POV, but it was from Pudge's POV and for someone witnessing it from outside, it was well written

Takumi was a sweetheart, i love him so much <3

Him feeling left how was soo real and the letter at the end of the book broke my heart. He wa sthe loser of the friend group, and as the loser of the friend group, i relate to him so much

Speaking as an immigrant, Lara saying that the best day of her life and the worst day of her life were the same day (her family moving to the US from Romania) hit a bit too close to home. Im constantly thrown apart between trying to decide if i completely hate my family moving or completely loving it. And i learned that it's neither. And there's a bit of both in it. And Lara knew that as well.

Also, Lara deserved so much better!! They did my girl dirty. Period.

The Old Man/religion teacher was an icon and i loved the scenes of his classes. And what he did to remember Alaska and her Big QuestionTM

The teachers aren't just cruel robots, they are also human and that was potrayed nicely. I feel like we tend to forget that, esp while writing books. The Eagle getting emotional over Alaska's death and trying to help Pudge and the Colonel

I do have to say, John Green could have done better with writing emotions. Esp teenager emotions which are all over the place. Pudge's mind seemed so single minded and that didn't felt like how it is for teens

[thelensofyashunews]

CASH COBAIN SHARES HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED SOPHOMORE LP PLAY CASH COBAIN + "ACT LIKE" VID

Fresh off being named a coveted Apple Up Next artist, a 2024 XXL Freshman, and Billboard Rookie of the Month, Cash Cobain has shared his highly-anticipated sophomore album Play Cash Cobain (via Giant Music) — with an accompanying music video for his long-awaited Pop Smoke tribute, "Act Like", which made its broadcast premiere on MTV Live, MTVU, MTV Biggest Pop, BET Jams and on the Paramount Times Square billboards. The release follows this week's profile of Cash on The New York Times Print Arts Section Cover, who hailed him as an artist that's "changing the sound of drill." 

The momentum around this LP is at an all-time high following the release of his last single "Problem", a 15-person Slizzy mix bolstered by a prominent sample of Brooklyn newcomer Laila!'s viral hit "Not My Problem". The near-8 minute track boasted an insanely stacked lineup of features from the likes of Fabolous, Big Sean, Kenzo B, Lay Bankz, Luh Tyler, Anycia, Chow Lee, Kaliii, 6lack, Flo Milli, YN Jay, FLEE, Don Q and Rob49 –– calling back to a lost era of heavyweight-posse cuts of the 00's.

The all-star guest list doesn't stop there on Play Cash Cobain –– with him grabbing marquee features like Quavo, Don Toliver, Laila!, & 4Batz & long-time collaborators Vontee The Singer and Payroll. The 19-track album is a direct result of the lightning-hot run he's been on this year –– with a majority of the LP being made only in the past 8 months following a flurry of late-nights at the club, romantic rondeaux, and the makings of his "Slizzy Summer."

The artwork is a nod to one of Cash's biggest influencers and collaborators -– Drake, who added his inscription and signature on a fan's phone case, completing the 'PlayCashCobain' theme he's maintained around this release. Topping it all off –– Cash also announced his debut headlining solo NYC show, at the historic, newly-reopened Brooklyn Paramount next month (tickets available HERE). This is the follow-up to his iconic 'Slizzy Fest' birthday show at Irving Plaza, a night that boasted a stacked lineup of NYC finest which led to it being unfortunately shut down, only for Cash to lead his fans to Union Square for an impromptu performance in the park (read Rolling Stone review). In the words of Cash:

“I’m feeling sexy, slizzy — I’m just happy to give y’all this music finally. Thank you to all my fans and supporters, I really appreciate you. Been working non-stop on this album and I’m just so excited to share 'Play Cash Cobain.' It’s a Slizzy Summer!”Last week, Cash had an electric pair of performances on Ice Spice's sold-out NYC dates, with Rolling Stone noting -– "Cash is one of the coolest artists in the game, boasting a signature sound replete with a dance that simulates a flowing ocean current. The young crowd ate it up...". 

The hype has continued to explode, with Future & Metro Boomin bringing Cash out during their sold-out Brooklyn date and later that night, him linking up with Travis Scott in an impromptu DJ set. Play Cash Cobain serves as the exclamation point on a 2024 winning streak that includes the Ice Spice-assisted "Fisherrr" (feat. BaySwag) (40M Streams) remix, as well as a collab with J. Cole on “Grippy” (15M Streams), a new version of his 2023 track “Dunk Contest” (13M Streams), and a fan-favorite, "Rump Punch" (20M Streams).

With the success of Cobain’s smash singles, the Bronx superstar has skyrocketed to over 4M Monthly Listeners on Spotify and in the past year his streams have gone up 3,400% on Apple Music alone. Cobain has since hinted at collaborations with Frank Ocean, Travis Scott, Lil Yachty and more –– a sure sign that superstardom is soon to come. The rapper and producer also recently made his triumphant Billboard Hot 100 debut alongside Charlie Wilson on Don Toliver's single "Attitude"(100M Streams) [ read hisBillboard: 'Chartbreakers' feature], –– showcasing exactly why the outlet proclaimed, "The Summer of Slizzy is upon us".

[therecordchanger62279]

The 10 Most Influential Debut Records of the Rock Era

It's been, oh, at least three days since I posted a list, so I thought it was time for another one. (I have a list-making gene - which, unfortunately, takes up far too much of my time. But if I don't make the list and post it, I begin showing signs of emotional stress because my brain becomes overloaded with pointless minutiae, and I need to empty it - much like the trash on a computer. Otherwise, my brain begins to operate more slowly, and I'm unable to download my thoughts into words and deeds. The little wheel in my eyeball just goes round and round. My head begins to smoke, and my wife has to unplug me, and call tech support.)

In any case, this is a list I don't actually recall ever seeing anywhere else. I was thinking about how important it is for any musical act to make a great debut record, and if you manage to accomplish that, how incredible that record must be to actually influence or change the direction of popular music your first time out. It would be far more difficult than, say, hitting a grand slam walk-off home run in your first major league at-bat.

When I began compiling the list, I was thinking first about the most influential records ever made, but not many of them were debut records. There are countless lists of influential albums out there, and many more lists of best debut records. But both at once? So, I compiled a list that I think is pretty impressive dating back 60 years - although this list ends with 1980. By then, I think most, if not all popular music's worthwhile changes and growth had happened or had been set in motion, and from that point forward, regression set in. We've reached a point now where there's nothing new under the sun, and we are devolving our way to some landfill in New Jersey keeping company with six-pack plastic rings, and styrofoam cups.

The list is in roughly chronological order, and I'll add a few comments after each in an effort to defend my choices.

Meet The Beatles - The Beatles (1964) Not technically their debut, you scream? Well, I don't live in the UK. This was the US debut record, and I would argue that if The Beatles had never made it in America, they would've come and gone like last week's latest Rap sensation. This is ground zero, and I'll accept no substitutes.

Freak Out - The Mothers of Invention (1966) Even today, it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that a record like this existed in 1966. It opened up the whole world of record making to the avant-garde, and a whole new audience. No restrictions. No rules. From that day forward - bring it!

The Velvet Underground and Nico (1967) Do I really need to argue The Velvets influence at this point to anyone?

Music From Big Pink - The Band (1968) Eric Clapton left Cream because of a Rolling Stone review, and this album. Back to basics. You could argue it was the first "Americana" album long before they had a name for it.

Santana (1969) America and most of the world had not heard anything before like this marriage of Rock, Jazz, and Latin music, and it was there as if it was the most natural thing in the world - and maybe it was.

In The Court of the Crimson King - King Crimson (1969) The invention of Progressive Rock, and the influence of Folk, and Classical on the sound of Rock thereafter.

Black Sabbath (1970) The invention of Heavy Metal, and the importance of riffing, and a noise like laying down on a railroad track with a train bearing down on your exploding head.

Horses - Patti Smith (1975) Poetry fused with Rock 'N' Roll wrapped in a feminist sensibility, and an attitude that if you aren't saying something important, why speak at all?

Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols (1977) Some would argue The Ramones debut mattered more, but their debut was largely ignored except by critics, and the NY club crowd. It was The Pistols that fired the Punk shot heard 'round the world. Rock's last gasp, and then there was.....

The Sugarhill Gang (1980) The single, Rapper's Delight was released in the late summer of '79. If they had not followed up with a full-length album, it might've been viewed as a novelty hit. Instead it was the birth of Rap which would eventually overwhelm Rock as the most popular music of the day.

[1001albumsrated]

#14: Little Richard - Here's Little Richard (1957)

Genre(s): Rock n Roll

This is another one of those albums, like Elvis Presley's self-titled LP, that is an absolute high water mark for effective-but-simple graphic design. The variance in the background color subtly pulls your eye to the main elements. The font choice and layout is excellent. And the focal point is probably the best picture ever taken of Little Richard, sweat-drenched and belting out one of his iconic yelping screams. You couldn't pick a better cover to represent what is effectively Little Richard's greatest hits collection, and monolithic slab of red-hot rock n roll.

The tracklist here is interesting. Despite this being his first full length album, most of these songs were previously released as singles, and were big hits across the board (with the biggest being, of course, Tutti Frutti, which put him on the scene in a big way in 1955 and would go on to even bigger chart heights with Elvis's later cover of the tune. More hot takes on the Elvis version can be found in my earlier review of his self-titled LP). This really does make it play more like a greatest hits album than a traditional LP. And, just to be clear, I mean that in the best way. They've done a good job of making the tracklist feel coherent, but every damn song here is an obvious hit, again, meant in the best way possible.

There has been an enormous amount of ink spilled over this album over the years, so I don't feel the need to say too much here. It's Little Richard. If you haven't heard him: first of all, yes you have, I promise; second of all, go listen to this album. That being said, one thing that struck me while listening was the timelessness of these performances. There's a raw intensity to these cuts that is impossible to ignore and makes them feel just as vibrant today as they must have felt in the mid 50s. Here's Little Richard completely smokes most rock albums of the time, and frankly most rock albums that have come since.

I've already shown my hand here, so let's not beat around the bush: you MUST hear Here's Little Richard before you die, no questions asked. It's one of the most vital and influential albums in the entirety of the 1001 Albums book, and is always a pleasure to listen to.

Next time: we return to the world of Cuban music with Tito Puente's mambo classic, Dance Mania!