#Side Effects Include: Empathy

[rhettlevin]

Holy crap, look at all these books! I think this promotion only works in the US but wow, so many books! Books you should go read because you're getting an incredible deal! With no few side effects!*

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please look at the most important book series i have ever read

EDIT: I am told the bundle doesn't work in Canada (and maybe other regions? Only Canada’s been namedropped), which I think is cruel and unusual punishment. Sorry for the dashed hopes.

[elysiansparadise]

hello! I hope things are well with you 💕 if it’s possible, I would love to hear your thoughts on Neptune in the 3rd house :)

Hello love! I have been slightly busy these days, but everything is fine. I would love to give you my takes on this placement. 💕

Neptune in the 3rd house

Talking to them is a unique thing, they have very deep perspectives on life, wonderful ideas capable of surprising many and the ability to see beyond the things, people and circumstances that occur around them. Naturally poetic, they dislike things that are too simple and for them a soul-touching pinch is necessary in everything that enters their minds [books, movies, music, videos, etc]. Their words can easily move the audience, there is an ethereal and touching beauty in their way of speaking. Captivating speakers even without intending to. They are an interesting and valuable mystery to discover, and I define them as a mystery because they do not usually share their ideas or thoughts with anyone, since they border on the introverted and reserved side, or in some cases even shy. They may have a great interest and knack for some branch of art, especially that which includes communicating ideas or feelings, being very effective in doing so. Many of them may doubt their abilities and also their intelligence or ability. They may be very interested in obtaining all kinds of knowledge, especially about topics that people do not dare to investigate, spiritual topics or topics that make them know themselves better on a deeper level.

In these people lies the wound of not feeling heard by their close circle, of feeling that for others what they had to say was not important, which made them close down. Within them there is a mind full of amazing ideas, an outstanding creativity that allows them to find many solutions and see things from different perspectives. They tend to be frequently distracted by the tendency to want to do several things at the same time. Daydream tendency regarding doing things they want to do or what their ideal life would be like. They may prefer deep conversations over small talk. However, these people stand out for being amazing counselors, this is due to their empathy, which makes them not advise from the point of view of what they would do, but rather what they would do if they were and lived in the context of the person. who comes to them. They have the quality of making others feel heard and understood, making conversations with them feel comfortable and natural, even if it is the first time you speak to them.

They may have difficulty following very demanding schedules or routines, preferring to do things at their own pace. They are more likely to be easily distracted and change the subject quickly. Their mind is intuitive, their sixth sense is rarely wrong, as they are excellent when it comes to reading and understanding everything around them, having the ability to read between the lines and detect all kinds of discrepancies. They adapt very easily to their environment and it is extremely difficult to lie to them. If you're not part of their inner circle or if they don't trust you yet, you'll suddenly have that epiphany: they know so much about you while you seem to know little about what lies within them. They are people with multiple interests, a curious and creative mind that leads them to dream big. Great minds that can doubt their own potential, the value of their thoughts and words even when beauty and uniqueness can be found in them. People with compassion and an ability to understand things that perhaps others are not ready to understand. They have the feeling of not finding the right words to explain what is happening inside them. Their heart can often guide their minds. The human quality in them is something that makes them beautiful beings with whom to cross paths, always leaving teachings and words that remain marked in the core of those who know them.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Thoughts on Echo as amputee/disability representation

First and foremost, I am not disabled or an amputee and I don’t claim to speak for those communities (and if I was I couldn't speak for everyone). What little I do know mostly comes from this youtube channel (@oakwyrm), this post, and other research I’ve done for my writing (and like one amputee I kinda knew in passing). By all means correct me and add to the conversation, I just have some thoughts I want to share because I haven’t really seen this discussed anywhere

Overview

So Echo is interesting. He is a triple amputee which is pretty rare in media. His disabilities come from extremely traumatic circumstances: injured in a near-death experience, imprisoned and dehumanized as an experiment with no autonomy over what happened to his body.

There are a few moments in the shows where Echo is treated… questionably. Like this bit where Rex uses him as an example of the Separatists' evils to convince the locals to fight back:

To be fair, yeah Echo’s treatment does prove that the Techno Union is not neutral like they claim. The modifications that everyone is gasping in horror at here obviously weren’t made with comfort and accessibility in mind, nor with Echo’s consent. But you still just want to be sure that “They took away his freedom, his humanity, they tried to turn him into a machine” is about using him as a living computer, not the fact that he is missing limbs. 

The Batch is also pretty insensitive toward him and his trauma imo, which is weird considering they've supposedly also faced discrimination for their mutations

Disabled people do have to deal with stuff like this in this day and age so I guess it can speak to those experiences. I think especially him being mistaken as a droid (and Hunter going along with it (bruh)) might resonate with some people. 

Aside from that stuff, Echo isn't really treated any differently as a character/person which is really good (as low of a bar as that is).

We get this moment in CW where Echo contemplates that yeah things are gonna be different now

While also (imo at least) showing that he is still the same person regardless, evidenced by the fact that he just echoed Rex :,) I also think it's significant that he joins the Bad Batch on his own terms and we're given a really emotional scene to specifically show that he's not just like 'lumped in with the other misfits' but that it is his choice to go where he feels his place is.

A lot of people, myself included, are disappointed that TBB didn't have more time to explore Echo's PTSD, but I think the one panic attack scene we did get is really good. Even thought it's minor it at least is an appropriate reaction from a guy who was medically tortured (which is more than I've come to expect from Star Wars shows lol)

And it's really sweet to see Omega showing Echo some empathy and consideration.

It would have been nice to see more of his adjustment period, and other side effects like chronic pain and maintenance, but there’s a lot of daily life stuff the show never had time for (i.e. we don’t know if he removed his prosthetics to sleep, but we also never saw him sleep anyway). His disabilities might take on a background role (much like the character himself sadly) but for the most part they aren’t invisible or erased, nor do they define his character and arc.

Physical Appearance

Okay this one is bit dicey, bc on the one hand, yes complaints that Echo’s paleness (most likely caused by burns from the explosion or chemical burns from the cryo-chamber) is whitewashing are totally valid. But I also think you can draw comparisons to real life conditions that affect pigmentation/complexion (like you know burns). So while I understand why a lot of fanart will depict him with his original skin tone and with hair, consider that there are real people who have to live with temporary or permanent changes to their appearance, and the idea of “fixing" him by making him look more like his old self can be problematic.

It's also interesting to note that Echo could act as a reversal of the 'disabled/disfigured = evil' trope. He's pale and bald and wears black and red, which is so often visually associated with villains, but we all know Echo is the bestest boy™

The Headpiece

Echo’s headpiece is interesting because within the show we don’t actually ever learn much about it (idk if there is more info in books or whatever bc i don’t have them so?). He didn’t have it in CW so we know it didn’t come from the Techno Union and therefore Echo probably had more choice with it. We don’t know its exact purpose but it’s most likely related to his scomping abilities. When he is hacking with his scomp in CW, before he has his headpiece, it’s clearly very mentally straining:

We don’t see him struggling like this in TBB once he does have it (though that could be bc he got more used to it over time). There doesn't seem to be much of an impact when he removes his headpiece in s3 ep14-15, except that he gets stuck in the ports every time he uses his scomp which is not something we’ve seen before: 

There might not be an exact real-world equivalent, but the headpiece is some kind of accessibility aid. It means that someone specifically designed a device to help him adapt to the changes the Techno Union made, as well as a helmet that integrates it. It’s removable and visually very present, much like a cochlear implant would be. (A lot of people actually headcanon it to act partially as a hearing aid, since it makes sense that Echo’s hearing would have been damaged in the explosion, but there isn't really any indication of this in canon.) The headpiece is never really acknowledged in the show, but I think that's a good thing. It's something he needs/wants and it just exists, completely normalized, and that's pretty cool 👍

Legs

Sigh... So from the very first episode of TBB I was really disappointed that the animation team or whoever completely visually erased Echo’s prosthetic legs (I think we all were, honestly, if fanart is anything to go by). It’s one thing when he’s in armor because he would probably want to protect his prosthetics, but we literally see him in his blacks and there is no indication whatsoever that he lost his legs even though it was not left up for debate at all in CW:

Like ??????!?

This is just really strange to me! Idk what went on behind the scenes with this decision but I don’t really see why it would be that much harder to animate or anything since it’s 3D and they've done it before. We do see some pretty sophisticated cybernetic technology in Star Wars canon that mimics real limbs:

But Luke’s fancy hand is technically 20ish years from now, so Anakin and Maul are more of a representation of what level we could expect here

So yeah, for no apparent reason, his leg amputation is effectively, visually and narratively nonexistent. Which is not great 👎

Arm!

The scomp on the other hand (uh lol!) is the complete opposite and I kinda love it!

At first I, like many others, thought it was a bit odd that they didn’t give Echo a prosthetic arm. Losing hands is basically a Star Wars tradition at this point, so robotic arms/hands are well established within the worldbuilding: 

We aren’t necessarily given a canon reason for why Echo doesn't get a cybernetic arm (again unless it's in some lore book I haven’t read, sorry). General fanon explanations I’ve seen are that he either couldn’t because the Techno Union wired the scomp too far into his nervous system, and/or the resources to give him one were deemed too expensive for a clone (what about his legs tho?), or that he chose not to, usually because he thought the scomping was useful. 

Regardless, I actually really love this choice (and it's the whole reason I made this post), because here's the thing: There’s a lot of problematic tropes out there that either erase/cure disabilities or compensate them with perks (like how pretty much any blind character is actually not blind by some sort of magic power). With amputees that is done with robotic arms. The character is still an amputee or course, and there is still value in that representation, if this story from Mark Hamill that makes me tear up is anything to go by:

but for the most part these characters function like anyone else, just with a limb that looks a little different. It’s no more than a video game skin, an able-bodied actor with a green screen glove. It “cures” the disability, or it actually makes the character even stronger than usual: 

It usually makes sense within the world of the story, but the reason it’s not so great in my opinion is that in the real world we just do not have technology anywhere close to that yet. Prosthetics can more or less replace any mobility from lost legs, but not for all the complexities of a hand (and even if they could the average person wouldn’t be able to afford it).

So

I think it's actually really super cool that Echo’s scomp bypasses the canonically-established amputee erasure and functions much like a stump would irl. He integrates it into his movements and everyday life and it’s (as far as I know) a lot closer to an everyday amputee’s experience. 

It doesn’t define his character, it doesn’t hold him back, he lives a full life, the other’s don’t treat him any differently, and he’s still a total karking badass 

The only additional thing is that he sometimes uses it as a weapon (which given his story, I think it’s cool to see him taking back autonomy in a way, and we only see that like twice)

And also the scomping, which could be seen as the 'added/compensating superpower' trope. But narratively it's no different than if he was plugging in with a hacking gadget of some kind (he didn't necessarily "need" to lose his arm for it) and it’s not like Echo is completely defined by this skill. Personally, I think it's well worth the positives of him actually having a visible and realistically impactful amputation. 

I see a lot of posts or comments out there that say stuff like “how come Echo doesn’t get a hand?” or fanworks that do give him one and I just think it’s a bit of a shame. If he did get a robotic hand, it just would have disappeared the same way his legs and Anakin’s arm did (aside from that one time he got yoinked by a magnet). When Echo did “get a hand” in the last two episodes there were comments like “yay he finally got a hand! but it doesn’t even work” but I was actually so relieved that it didn’t! Bc for one thing that wouldn’t make any sense, he grabbed it off a droid, it wasn’t designed to implement with his scomp, that would be really complicated. But more importantly because it again refused to erase/cure his disability! It functioned like a real-world cosmetic prosthetic (useless beyond appearance) which is exactly what he needed it for, so that he could blend in better with his disguise.

And he continually took it off throughout the episode and ditched it at the end. He only used it for the necessity of a stealth mission, he doesn’t feel the need to visually “fit in” in his daily life. 

And, last but very much not least, he made a dad joke and from my intel that is very accurate representation!

TLDR: Echo’s scomp is actually really cool from an amputee representation perspective, especially within Star Wars, and I think that deserves some appreciation 

[literaryvein-reblogs]

I'm going to write a yandere x oc fanfic. So it's a bit of a slowburn where they start off as friends. What i'm focusing on rn is the fact that while they're friends, my oc never 'felt' like she cared for him, or at least formed an emotional connection. She lacks empathy and feels guilty for it, but she does her best to fulfill her role as a proper friend out of obligation. She only starts truly caring for him 2 years into the relationship after he communicated that he did care for her.

Sooo I think that she has an avoidant attachment style? So that's basically what I'm asking about, please. Or any idea what other labels you think might apply to her? (They're gonna be co-defendant asf)

Writing Notes: Avoidant Attachment Style

Some signs of an avoidant attachment style can include:

Avoidance of emotional/physical intimacy

Strong sense of independence

Uncomfortable when expressing feelings

Dismissive of others

Sending mixed signals

Hard time trusting

Commitment issues

Often spends more time alone than with others

An unrealistically positive picture of their attachment figures

A failure to build long-term relationships due to the inability to engage physically and emotionally on a deeper level

In a romantic relationship, avoidant individuals may:

Appear distant or emotionally detached

Often avoid deep emotional connections and intimacy

Emphasize boundaries

Use distancing strategies (emotional or physical)

Prioritize independence and self-reliance above emotional intimacy

Need to get away or "explodes" during a disagreement

Not make his/her intentions clear

Devalue their partner

Struggle to express their feelings or offer support to their significant other during times of distress

Suppress emotions and maintain distance in their relationship to avoid vulnerability and potential harm

This can lead to feelings of neglect or emotional abandonment on either side of the relationship.

While they might do well in maintaining boundaries and independence, their hesitance to engage emotionally can undermine the development of deeper relationships.

If your character finds themselves struggling to express their feelings or show physical affection, they may identify with an avoidant attachment style.

On Deciphering Attachment Style:

Determine whether s/he seeks intimacy and closeness.

Assess how preoccupied s/he is with the relationship and how sensitive s/he is to rejection.

Don’t rely on one “symptom,” look for various signs.

Assess his/her reaction to effective communication.

Listen and look for what he or she is not saying or doing.

Common Avoidant Thoughts, Emotions, and Reactions

THOUGHTS

All-or-nothing thinking: I knew s/he wasn’t right for me, this proves it!

Overgeneralizing: I knew I wasn’t made to be in a close relationship.

Malicious intent: S/he’s really out to annoy me, it’s so obvious…

Fantasizing about having sex with other people.

"S/he’s taking over my life, I can’t take it!"

"Now I have to do everything his/her way; the price is too high."

"I need to get out of here, I feel suffocated."

"If s/he was “the one” this kind of thing wouldn’t happen."

"When I was with (phantom X) this wouldn’t have happened."

"S/he just wants to tie me down, this isn’t true love."

"I’ll be better off on my own."

"Ugh, s/he’s so needy! It’s pathetic."

EMOTIONS

Withdrawn ⚜ Frustrated ⚜ Angry ⚜ Pressured ⚜ Distrustful

Unappreciated ⚜ Misunderstood ⚜ Resentful ⚜ Hostile

Aloof ⚜ Empty ⚜ Deceived ⚜ Tense ⚜ Hate-filled ⚜ Restless

Self-righteous ⚜ Contemptuous ⚜ Despairing ⚜ Scornful

ACTIONS

Act out ⚜ Get up and leave ⚜ Belittle their partner

Act hostile, look disdainful ⚜ Make critical remarks

Withdraw mentally or physically ⚜ Minimize physical contact

Keep emotional sharing to a minimum

Stop listening to partner. Ignoring him/her.

POSSIBLE CAUSES

Primary caregivers were emotionally distant or dismissive of the person's needs in childhood. An avoidant individual often then learns to cope by suppressing their emotions and developing self-sufficiency.

Initially it was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of our upbringing. Thus, it was hypothesized that our current attachment style is determined by the way in which we were cared for as a baby (e.g., if parents/caregivers were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, the child should develop an avoidant attachment style).

Today, however, we know that attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our genes and life experiences.

Here are a few tips you can incorporate in your character's storyline to potentially change this style of attachment:

They start with communication (open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship)

Establish boundaries with their partner

Write down their own emotions and feelings throughout the day

Approach their relationship as a team and work together

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: On Attachment ⚜ Writing References

From what you described, avoidant attachment sounds about right. But as the writer, you know more about the character, like their backstory. Do you think they fit this attachment style? A good reminder when we use these psychological models: Attachment theorists assume that the relationship between early experiences and subsequent outcomes is probabilistic, NOT deterministic. Use these notes as one reference/guide as you develop your characters. Hope this helps with your writing!

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I know this is asking people to like, have basic empathy and therefore asking way too much, but I'd just really love if before you [general] comment anything on the current Israel/Palestine situation, you considered how you would react if the roles were reversed.

If, for example, Israeli extremists raped and butchered their way through Gaza (or the West Bank) killing 1200 Palestinian men, women, and children who had been peacefully hanging out observing a religious holiday or sleeping, and especially if they had caught the whole damn thing on film and broadcasted it and celebrated it as if this was some huge win for Jews instead of the biggest chillul Hashem possible - just think about how people would have reacted. And what if they hadn't? What if the entire Western left, up to and including the United fucking Nations had denied the sexual violence and torture? Y'all would be pretty rightfully livid, no?

And let's be honest about how the global Jewish community would react if 23,000 Jews were killed for literally any reason whatsoever. Even if they were all adult male soldiers in active combat, never mind if they were non-combatants or children? We'd shit bricks. It would not feel neutral or not targeted, no matter how objectively true that might be. As it is, every Jew I know is one degree or less of separation from someone directly affected by the October 7th attacks and that's a with a maximum of 1500 casualties and hostages involved. Can you imagine if it were 23,000? We would all be sitting shiva, with no one to answer amen during Kaddish. The reality is that killing a large amount of people from a small minority that has been persecuted throughout its history cannot be a neutral act.

Anyway please I'm begging people to reverse the roles for four seconds to re-humanize the people on the "other" side. Because the truth is that there is no "other side" - there's just the everyday people who want to live in safety, dignity, freedom and justice with their families and friends. And then there's the small minority of very powerful groups and individuals who actively benefit from the conflict continuing. And the faster that those of us who aren't Israeli or Palestinian realize this, the sooner we will be able to effectively support the people on the ground seeking lasting solutions that benefit the majority of the population.

[lurkingshan]

Helloooo, Shan! This is a bit out of left field but it’s something I’ve been wondering for a while. BL has developed more as a genre and shown itself to be increasingly sociopolitically aware (whether or not it effectively engages with that awareness beyond marketing is another thing), do you have thoughts on any sort of progression of how women and girls have been portrayed? Or observations on the general state of women and girls in BL? It seems to me their roles have become meatier, not just one-dimensional femme fatales or fujoshi. Or am I projecting a false narrative of genre evolution? 🤔

Hey Megan, thanks for sending! I love an out of left field ask. And I agree with you, I do think there has been a clear evolution in the way women characters are portrayed in BL, and I have been making note of it where I see it.

It used to be that female characters in BL were mostly just there to be antagonists, either as villainous femme fatales trying to break up the couple (like Plern Pleng in TWM) or fujoshis inserting themselves into the main couple's relationship in really inappropriate and fetishizing ways (like Pang in Love Sick). Even the precious few decent women characters from early BL (like Manow from UWMA) are still really only there as side characters who provide support to the boys and/or a bit of comic relief. Women in early BL were either problematic or kind of an afterthought in the narrative.

But more recently there have been BL dramas featuring women who are more fully fleshed out and actually a crucial part of the story. This is not linear and consistent, of course--there are BLs airing as we speak, like Knock Knock Boys and Blue Boys, that are still relying on women as primary antagonists--but there has been some growth. Here are some of the characters I find particularly notable in regards to the role they play in the narrative:

Ae Ri, The Eighth Sense

Ae Ri was a notable character because the narrative set us up to think she was going to be a typical femme fatale. She seemed to like Ji Hyun and we were naturally inclined to assume she would be an obstacle to him pursuing Jae Won, until the show completely turned that on its head and made her a knowing ally instead. It was a delightful surprise and she remained an important support and get a grip friend for Ji Hyun throughout the story.

Nara, La Pluie

Nara is another in the category of the subverted femme fatale trope, but this show took that much further by writing her with so much empathy and making her a fully fleshed out character with her own arc and even the start of a new romance by the end. It is still the best treatment of an ex-girlfriend character I have ever seen in a BL.

Fujisaki/Pai, Cherry Magic

Speaking of trope subversion, let's give a shoutout to these two corrective takes on the fujoshi archetype. Each version of this story did it a bit differently, but the common thread was that Fujisaki and Pai only wanted the best for their friends, and kept a firm line on how much to interfere in their relationship. Fujisaki is gentle and kind, offering small encouragements and nice gestures. Pai is much more of an enthusiastic fangirl so I was a bit weary at the start of her story, but the show used her fannish interests as an opportunity to model respectful fan behavior and I was quite pleased in the end.

Yiwa, Wedding Plan

And of course, I have to mention the current title holder for best female character in a BL, Wedding Plan's Yiwa. She is not only a great character in terms of having a fully formed personality, clear motivations, and a great set of relationships, she is also the engine that drives the entire narrative. I am still kinda amazed she exists.

This is separate but related to the recent increase in GL content and GL side couples in BLs, which is also getting steadily better. And I want both! I want solid GL dramas where the girls own the narrative, and I want BLs to write women better when they choose to include them in the story. I'm encouraged by the progress we've already seen.

[tayasui-mono]

Two things. It is absolutely monumental that Will killed Hobbs because of how Will's mind works. Will is able to put himself in other people's shoes; he imagines their thoughts processes—and I figure—through juxtapositioning his own life experiences over other people's. That is how empathy works. I take the thing A that happened to me and apply it to thing B happening to you, and understand where you're coming from. Will differs from other folks in that he's extremely intelligent (a genius, really), knowledgeable, and sentimental. He goes into a crime scene and imagines the screams still echoing around the walls. That's crazy (including medically). He puts himself in another man's perspective, and extrapolates. AND he's usually right, because he doesn't pull shit out of thin air. He's ALWAYS following the breadcrumbs of evidence.

Yet Will has been able to remain on the other side of the yellow tape so far because he has never killed. Because if he kills, and knew what that would FEEL like, understood how it CHANGES the killer before and after killing, then he gets TOO close to the perpetrator. He will relieve his trauma over and over and over again everytime he does his job. He will feel how it felt to kill all his life until he is dead. It will bleed into his daily life (no effective barriers), and it will ruin him. Every thought he has will be coloured by trauma.

So the fact that Hannibal makes him kill by proxy is monumental. In episode 1, Will, our main character, is already reborn. The second thing: Abigail Hobbs. Will clings to her survival because if she is able to survive Hobbs, then Will can survive Hobbs. They can overcome him together. It is desperate and shows how helpless this entire thing has made him. And then! Hannibal kills Abigail, knowing what her life means to Will. It's morbidly poetic. Hannibal has changed Will and Will has changed Hannibal, and Hannibal is letting Will know that there is no going back anymore for either of them. All they can do is look forward, and live as the people they've changed into. This also connects to the Uffizi gallery scene later on and that's just chefs kiss.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

I think there’s a bit of a tendency to portray Saileach as almost an ingenue? Playing up the contrast to the more physical Bagpipe and more troubled Reed, and leaning in to her characterisation early in Chapter 9. But I think this is a pretty major misreading of her post-Chapter 9 characterisation, as seen in her oprec and profile.

Yes, she’s noted to be kind and beautiful. Yes, she was a rear-echelon soldier with primarily ceremonial responsibilities as a garrison’s standard-bearer. Yes, she has no combat experience prior to leaving the Army. But that’s all stuff that happens before everything goes to hell in Chapter 9. In quick succession, she:

discovers a pending terrorist attack

tries her hardest to negotiate a peaceful resolution to the pending terrorist attack

finds out her own side is planning war crimes and genocide against their own citizens using the pending terrorist attack as an excuse

quits the army on the spot and runs around trying to save as many people as she can, including other soldiers and members of the aforementioned terrorist group

while also picking fights with her former superiors and the terrorist group

joins RI as pretty much the only organisation not doing crazy war crimes

ran around in the aftermath of a dirty bomb but didn’t suffer many ill effects on account of being Built Different

does a bunch of research on and adopts a codename from the language of the people her former superiors were trying to genocide in memory of her friend who introduced her to their culture

shows up and immediately starts a one punch man training regimen intense enough that people who work with noted hardass anime drill sergeant Dobermann take one look at her and say “hey maybe you should chill”

in response, went and got a doctor’s note that basically boils down to “i don’t need to chill. i’m Built Different. you should chill”

in her oprec she basically founds a town and negotiates a peace between surviving victims of the aformentioned war crimes

after getting the rundown from Reed - acting leader of the aformentioned terrorist group and the one directly responsible for the death of her friend - about Reed’s own guilt and relationships that led to it (per RTFS’s file), makes some understanding with her and starts working with her to help her people

some choice bits from her file:

“Where she differs from Bagpipe is that she doesn't, in any way, consider this a duty. From the moment she decided to leave the army, she never again held herself to be a Victorian soldier. In truth, she took to her new identity as a Rhodes Island Operator exceptionally well, and very quickly was proactive in throwing herself into all manner of combat/non-combat missions. She more than once mentioned the deceased elite operator Outcast's influence on her. Returning to Victoria, to her, is more of a calling. She holds a sense of justice deep in her heart, firmly resolved to spare no effort, looking to stand off against the evils that brought her such bitter memories. “

“ As an emigrant of Sargon living in Victoria, coupled with her sensitive nature, Saileach never forgets the challenges of minority communities struggling in the world. Whether she realizes it or not, this is where her longstanding empathy with the oppressed originates; and with her clearer grasp on the differences between herself and said people, it's only more commendable that on missions, without any qualms, she sees Infected children bleeding and offers a hand. “

She starts as a bit of a sheltered idealist, but drops the “sheltered” like Rock Lee’s training weights the instant shit gets real and has been doing 80 hit fighting game aerial combos against Terra being a cynical shithole ever since

[sol-consort]

Any hc about Mordins nephew? Some people do, curious what you think about him

You know I actually never thought about him much, huh... So let's look at all the available information we have so far!

The scene transcript itself:

[Start scene]

M: Yes. personal matters on mind, actually. Got call from nephew.

M: Promising geneticist himself. Just turned 16. Got tenure at university. Following in my footsteps.

M: had to lie about what I was doing. Think he was suspicious. Doesn't matter. still good to hear his voice.

S: Your nephew got tenure at 16? Is he a genius or a scientific prodigy?

M: No. Wait, don't want to insult him. Yes, but not in manner you meant.

M: Remember, salarian lives short. Mature rapidly by your standards. Don't live much past 40.

S: Does anyone in your family know about what you really did for the government?

M: No. Know I'm lying, but won't pry. Salarians curious as a people, but also have social cues. Keep two types of secrets from family.

M: First type personal or guilt-based, invites suspicion, exploration. Puzzle to be solved. Reward for curiosity, intelligence. Drama! M: Other secrets more serious. Dangerous if discovered. Signals discourage curiosity for protection of family.

S: Why wouldn't everyone give clues that their secrets were too dangerous to be uncovered? M: Not conscious. Social. Reflexive body language. Can't fake it. Example: yawning perceived as contagious among humans. M: Subject observes yawn, sensory input deactivates left periamygdalar region, subject yawns in response. Social empathy. Also works with dogs. M: Salarian faking signals to discourage curiosity similar to human faking a yawn. Can try, but effectiveness limited.

S: does anyone in your family know about what you're calling him because you're worried we won't make it back

M: No. Aware survival unlikely, but actually contacted him for family connection.

M: Hard to imagine galaxy. Too many people. Faceless Statistics. Easy to depersonalize. Goo when doing unpleasant work.

M: For this fight, want personal connection. Can't anthropomorphize galaxy. But can think of favourite nephew fighting for him.

S: I'm glad you got to talk to family before we finished this. And I'm glad we talked, too, Mordin.

M: Honoured to be part of this, Shepard. Helped preserve galaxy before with genophage. Dirty work, ethically ambiguous. Problematic.

M: Collectors mission simpler, cleaner. Will be proud to see it in Mordin Solus biography Vid. Unless we all die. Proud posthumously in that case.

M: Regardless... thank you.

[End Scene]

And the video here for frame of reference

Then there is the wiki brief description of the interaction

Known members of Mordin's family include a nephew who earned a university tenure at 16, a promising geneticist following his uncle's footsteps. Mordin fondly remembers this nephew and maintains contact with him during Shepard's mission, finding the familial connection a better motivation for saving the galaxy as opposed to the bigger picture and depersonalized statistics. Mordin is not above concealing his work from his family, however.

And those are all the available buildings blocks to make our Nephew Solus base out of it. Let's refer to him as Neph for the sake of simplifying things.

The well-established facts about Neph so far are:

He is a salarian male

He is 16 (48 in human years)

He is a geneticist

He has a close relationship with Mordin

He is his favourite nephew

-

And on the more subjective side, we have these conclusions:

He is naturally curious and suspicious

He looks up to Mordin and respects him immensely

Mordin might have been a mentor figure

He shares one or more similar physical traits with Mordin

He is a civilian leading a domestic life, possibly on a salarian owned planet (being a prof at uni and all)

He often calls Mordin to update him on his life and milestones

He is Mordin's only family connection that reaches out outside of obligations and despite Mordin's detached nature

He probably doesn't know Commander Shepard since Mordin couldn't mention his work with you

-

Now I want you to focus on this scene from the video, specifically the cinematography of it.

In most of Mordin's usual dialogue scenes, the camera faces him upfront. Yet, in here, it was a deliberate choice to show the side of his face.

And what stands out most? The scar. This particular position puts heavy emphasis on the X shaped scar under his eye, the bullet holes above his eye, and even the long scar on his forehead.

Even the dialogue emphasises the word "fight" it appears twice in the same sentence. This fight, against the collectors, he's fighting for him.

If you take in the context clues, the faded scars, the rushly healed wounds, then Mordin might have been fighting for the sake of his nephew for much longer than this. That Neph has been his motivation in so many fights, even during the lowest times of his life.

Maybe he often thinks of his nephew's happy and excited face looking up at him—back when he was still a small hatchling with stars in his eyes as he listens diligently to Mordin's retelling of his stories. As he proclaims in a moment of sincerity how much he wants to be like him when he grows up, how Uncle Mordin is so cool and amazing.

Maybe that memory and so many like it, are what keeps Mordin's sanity intact. What keeps him on the ethical morally just path. What makes him listen to you when it comes to sparing his student at the end of his personal mission, he saw his nephew in him.

Even when life is shit and pain is debilitating, I still smile when I see my niece. I still kneel on the floor next to her as she shows me her toys and tries including me in what she's playing. I still act happy and excited, and unlike the bitter mask of happiness society makes you wear just to appear polite even while you're miserable, this pretend happiness with her doesn't feel fake at all.

It feels the most beautiful of white lies. Sometimes, I start to believe that I'm truly happy, forget all my burdens.

It's fullfilling, to lie to them in these situations and smile. You never have to force it, either; it comes so naturally. I could be on the brink of a breakdown, yet seeing her and getting to play the role of the fun happy grown-up becomes the purpose of my life for those few hours before I have to leave.

What an honour it is to be part of her life.

I'd imagine Mordin to feel something similar about his nephew. It seems impossible to imagine anything else.

-

One last thing to consider is that Neph might not have the last name Solus. It's not explained how Salarian culture functions when it comes to titles and if surnames are even a thing or hereditary to begin with.

Like not all human names work the same either. I know western names go [First name -> Last name]

But middle Eastern names use [First name -> Father's name -> Grandfather's name -> Great Grandfather's name -> surname]

And eastern names often use [Last name -> first name]

Salarians are matriarchal, women making up only 10% of the population and yet holding the most important positions as the heads of the family and in society aristocracy.

It makes sense for their full names to include the female headfigure of the clan they originate from. To not mix genetics + to keep track of the family's prestige and standings amongst the rest.

The surname Solus most likely originated from a great grandmother. That or it's Mordin's mother's name. Or maybe the current matriarch's name?

Either way, if it was a surname, the mother is the most likely candidate to pass down her surname to the children when it comes to Salarian culture.

And we don't know if it's Mordin's sister or brother which this nephew came from. So Neph being a Solus isn't set in stone.

[3hks]

I write fanfics but I was wondering if you could give some tips for writing angst? Or like just how to write angst in general

Thanks in advance if you do

-anon

Yes, of course! I LOVE angst so much, so thank you for asking! There's a lot of different types of angst, so I'll briefly go over several and give you some advice on how to make it hurt!

First of all, let's talk about the two different types of angst briefly (I'm sure there are more, but I think these two categories cover most of them!). In the first half, I'll roughly cover the internal/emotional one, which is pretty much a one-man-show for angst!

Let's start with the emotions involved with this group. There are a few key feelings--besides depression--that you'll want to be able to utilize because they are the foundation of good angst!

Emptiness: Not necessarily sad, but it's emotion where there's nothing except for a hint of melancholy and perhaps loneliness or a lack of fulfillment.

Numbness: In all honesty, numbness is essentially the same as emptiness but it's usually the result of another emotion. (Grief, shock, stress, etc.)

Regret/Guilt: This hurts A LOT. The feeling of regret for something you did/didn't do is incomparable. Painful reflections, agonizing over a sorrowful mistake, and being forced to accept it knowing there's no going back is absolutely HEARTBREAKING--which is why it makes good angst!

Loneliness: Being isolated and/or feeling alone makes one feel disconnected from everyone else. This is a common factor in depression.

Self-Hate: A traditional one; nothing hurts more than seeing a character beat themselves up when they shouldn't.

Despair: The feeling of excessive hopelessness leaves your character feeling powerless and in a metaphorical sense, drowning.

Internal angst can create highly pensive situations while involving one person! Thus, first person point of view or third person limited (to the character) is the best option because focuses and highlights the character. Not to mention, thoughts are crucial to angst for it offers insight to their person and obviously, first person is the best at accomplishing that goal, but third person limited can also achieve a similar effect!

Next, there's the romantic/platonic type of angst. This not only relies on the emotions and thoughts of the characters, but is also subjective to the situation they're in, which means there's more freedom to explore around! Again, let's look at some emotions that are commonly used!

Hate: Hate is frequently found in problematic and/or toxic romance tropes. Sometimes it could be one-sided hate, where one resents the other, but the other holds absolutely no hate, and sometimes it's mutual animosity.

Fear: This fear is typically along the lines of being afraid of rejection, so much so that it feels difficult to make a decision and progress forward. Fear can easily delve into anxiety.

Longing: Unrequited love hurts a lot, but it doesn't always have to be one-sided. Both sides pining for each other unbeknownst to them also makes a good story.

Grief: The loss of a loved one is hard to cope with yet relatable, generating a lot of empathy and empathy from your readers

Hesitation: In particular, when the ship or close friends are hesitant to get close. This could be due to outside factors, fear of opening up, or self-doubt.

Additionally, the emotions I listed in the previous division still applies here! Contrary to the internal angst, this type works better when both perspectives are written to fully demonstrate their current circumstances and dynamic. Third person is recommended!

But on top of emotions, the situation matters a lot too, so I'll quickly go over some examples of situations that can induce angst!

Anxiety/Panic attacks: This includes a lot of intrusive, scattered, and overwhelming thoughts. Description-wise, make sure to focus on their senses! (Ex: Breathing: heaving, struggling to breath, etc.) Chest/heart: tightening up, pounding loudly, etc.) Eyesight: Blurring, unfocused, etc. Hearing: Too loud, drowned out, etc.)

Final Messages: Did your character die or leave? Their final messages matter a LOT. After all, that's they last thing they're remember by. Sometimes these messages are kind, but they can also reveal confessions (love, regret, mistakes) that hurt, and they can even completely change how your character views themselves and the world.

Misunderstandings: Misunderstandings can go from innocent mistakes to detrimental oversights. Many romantic slow-burns incorporate this tool, as a matter of fact!

Coping: For the most part, it's good if someone's able to cope with a devastating situation, but sometimes these can be quite painful. For example, maybe a character's coping mechanism is to avoid all topics of their previous love, preventing them from facing the issue head-on.

In conclusion, writing angst involves a lot of aspects! From start to end, there will be a huge mix of emotions and thoughts. It may be hard to figure everything out, but try your best to apply your past experiences and do what you think fits the best!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[heian-era-housewife]

Hello all!

Recovery, diagnosis, and continued health journey below the break.

TLDR: Stage 4 endometriosis, still waiting on results for the heart condition, tired, sore, overall am going to be okay 👍 I do, however, hate being the owner of a uterus.

Most importantly, thanks everyone for the love, support, and well wishes! Glad to be back! It will be slow. Don't expect too much, but I do still plan to play catch up on Kinktober, even if it goes into November a little bit.

Trigger warnings: blood, mental health, mention of sex, gender identity, generally just Yuri whining 😅

I'm not sure where to begin. When I imagined writing this comeback post, pre-surgery I thought it would be all smiles and sunshine. I knew there would be pain, but I thought the worst of it would be behind me. Currently, I feel like I'm sitting toward the bottom of what may be a very long uphill struggle.

While my surgery went smoothly, the care I received around the surgery was eye opening. We waited for hours on end both before and after the surgery to get answers, to get help, to use the bathroom or be offered water.

Sometime before I woke up I had apparently been given some disposable underwear and a pad because I was bleeding pretty heavily. When I was finally able to use the restroom, I discovered that the pad had been placed cotton-side down with the adhesive side facing my body. The sticky part was still covered with the backing (thankfully), but this had caused blood to run everywhere including down my legs where I could not reach, as I was unable to bend. The only person available to help me at the time was a man whose bedside manner was less than desirable, so I just lived with the blood stains.

This was just one of many instances where it felt like I was almost being punished for having the reproductive organs that I do. And frankly, that has been my experience my entire life as someone who menstruates, who has had difficulty with menstruation, and who has had near constant pain and problems in that area.

Ultimately, I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis. I know very little about this condition and by the time I had woken up from surgery, the surgical staff had gone home. There was no one willing to answer questions and I have since been told I will need to wait two weeks until my follow up appointment to speak with the doctor and get details. Until then, I am left with my own research. From what it seems, there is no cure and very minimal that can be done for treatment of symptoms. My discharge notes make mention of heavy scarring on my ovaries from recurring cysts, which are sure to continue. The endometrial tissue can also appear on or effect other parts of the body as they had in this past instance where tissue was present around my intestines. It can grow on lungs and even the brain, though these cases are extremely rare.

It's hard not to feel discouraged right now. I thought this surgery would be a huge step forward toward feeling better, but it feels more like a tiny drop in a bucket of larger issues and possibly more surgeries and complications to come. Not only this, but I am enraged both by the absolutely abysmal healthcare system here in the U.S. but by the treatment of and complete lack of empathy for those who have vaginas, uteruses, who experience menstruation or pregnancy and any number of complications from these things. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "women's" healthcare is a JOKE, but this goes beyond women. If I, a cisgender female, am experiencing such a lack of care and empathy, I can only imagine how any person with these organs who doesn't fit the stereotypical image or definition gets treated. I hate it.

Anyhoo...

Recovery is expected to take about two weeks. No sex for six weeks (for real this time)

Still waiting on results from my heart monitor.

Wanting to tackle mental health after squaring away what I can of physical health.

Depression and anxiety is now worse than ever. Doing my best not to slither into my little hermit hole and hide from it all.

Writing helps. Drawing helps. The love and care from amazing people on this silly little site helps.

And of course, there is Hubs, who deserves a standing ovation for the incredible job he has done caring for me, advocating for me, and reminding me every day that truly good people do still exist 🩷

If you've read this far, please go get yourself a cookie or something 🍪 and thank you, truly, for being part of this little journey with me 💕

[hermithomebase]

i wouldn't be suprised if a lot of ccs (wrongfully) think he's exaggerating or that the threats aren't that serious because they've never had to deal with these types of situations first hand. they see dream say "I've been in contact with the FBI" and then turn around and make jokes about swatting or laugh as if it isn't serious. also it comes down to a basic lack of empathy, even if I hated someone, I still would be concerned if they were going through the things the dteam are facing. you literally learn in school that if you are a bystander to bullying you are also in the wrong so I don't understand why these ccs are being silent when serious situations like these come to light.

i think this is the reason why a lot of bigger creators and normal celebrities seem a lot more chill and understanding to dream than people that are supposed to be his peers—he is simply on another level of not only fame but hate than them.

for example, ludwig—he was possibly the only person who took the q v usmp “drama” in a way that wasn’t fucking stupid and treated it with a bit more sensitivity than a lot of others because well, if you know anything about ludwig he’s been swatted. a lot. in very scary and traumatic ways not only for him but for his girlfriend and housemates. he’s close friends with guys like hasan and xqc and mr beast and yes, even at one point, mizkif. he knows what it’s like not only to be at the top but to observe what Happens to people at the top like that.

speaking of mr beast—he also falls into this category! he isn’t as hated like dream is, but he Has hate like his. it’s why he treats dream like a human and a friend rather than an enemy. he understands it because he’s lived it. he’s spent his entire career surrounded by mass amounts of security just like he has.

so many creators in this space don’t understand that yes while dream is famous and rich he should be fine yadayadayada he’s also a fucking Person. a person who is horrifically controversial and that comes with side effects OUTSIDE of twitter qrts because people are fucking nutjobs

there are creators and people online i find annoying to downright bad for society but if i saw them receiving an online hate campaign similar to dreams (for, mind, JACK SHIT IF WERE BEING REAL!) i would be scared for them and i would not contribute in any way INCLUDING by being silent about it because it’s “bad optics”

[vindicated-truth]

The mirroring of Lee Dongsik and Han Joowon as partners show the two sides of the same coin when it comes to justice.

This is where the beauty of the writing and characterization of Beyond Evil comes in when it comes to serving justice: that it's important to be objective about the action, but empathetic about the people involved.

This is actually the most beautiful aspect of the partnership of Lee Dongsik and Han Joowon: they are drawn to each other because of how strongly they represent each side.

Lee Dongsik is drawn to Han Joowon's sense of justice because he exemplifies its needed objectivity: that there is no person who is above the law. And that includes both the personal (your loved ones such as your family) and the societal (people in power such as the wealthy and the influential, both of which is representative of Joowon's own father). Han Joowon has this remarkable ability to not let his emotions blind him from assessing any situation objectively.

Han Joowon's strength comes in to fill in Lee Dongsik's weakness—Dongsik is prone to be blinded by his trust in people that he either tries his best to cover up for them (such as the way he made Jihoon vow never to tell the truth to the police) or just refuse to dig out the truth that he knows would shake his worldview of that person (such as never once questioning Jeongje's actions or motives both from the present and from 21 years ago).

Han Joowon, on the other hand, is drawn to Lee Dongsik's seemingly bottomless well of empathy and kindness for people, regardless of who they are to him: may they be family, stranger (like Shin Seokgu, the boy in the rain), or even enemy (he had never once lashed out or succumbed to violence with Kang Jinmook, Do Haewon, or even Han Kihwan; the only exception was Lee Changjin, which he knowingly did as part of a ruse to make him confess and had knowingly never crossed over to brutality).

Lee Dongsik's strength comes in to fill in Han Joowon's weakness—Joowon is always used to treating cases objectively, but coldly; he had never been bothered with the human aspect of it, despite the fact that the cases involve actual human people. Upon meeting Dongsik, he is faced with the reality of each of these victims' lives, from the old man who traverses the muddy reed fields looking for a daughter who would never come home, to the man whose whole family is upended and whose entire life is left in tatters because Joowon’s own father could not be arsed to face his DUI.

Han Joowon has a remarkable ability to evaluate actions equally, regardless of who did them; and Lee Dongsik has a remarkable ability to treat people equally, regardless of who they are.

Han Joowon is a reminder that no person is above the law; and Lee Dongsik is a reminder that every case should be evaluated from a humane standpoint.

Lee Dongsik is drawn to how unrelenting and uncompromising Han Joowon is; and Han Joowon is drawn to how deeply compassionate Lee Dongsik is.

And true justice can only be served with both.

Because each and every case should have that equal balance of objectivity and empathy: objectively assess the far-reaching effects and consequences of the action involved, while deeply consider how to deal with the people involved humanely and with empathy.

[flightfoot]

do you know of lila take down fics that don't bash the children?

Hm, I'm assuming you mean ones that are still focused around Lila being a schoolyard bully? I generally stay away from those nowadays, instead opting to just read the fics where everyone's aged up and she's presented as more of a supervillain (those tend to not bash anyone else), but I do still have some recs for you!

Not Quite Right by @ladynoirfanao3

When Marinette wakes up one morning, she can’t help but feel that something is just a little bit… off. No one else around her seems to feel the same, however, and she is forced to shake off the strange feelings. It proves to be more difficult than she imagined, especially when an akuma attack leaves her feeling helpless as she watches Chat Noir and Ladybug arrive on scene.

---

In Pursuit Of The Uneatable by @nemaliwrites

Who do you trust when your own reflection becomes a stranger? In a Paris where Lila weaves tales that blind the city, Marinette stands accused, isolated. Her parents' trust is shattered, her friends distant, and in battle, illusions blur the line between ally and enemy. As the shadows and uncertainty threaten to close in, Marinette finds herself turning to the last person who claims to be on her side: a boy in a white mask who calls himself a fox hunter.

---

Hold Me By Both Hands by @angelofthequeers

“I know he said never to take you back,” Plagg mutters. “But he’d change his tune if he knew.” He looks Adrien straight in the eye and, more serious than Adrien’s ever seen him before, says, “There’s someone you gotta meet. He’s been looking for that book for ages.” How differently might the events of season 2 have gone if Adrien had also known of Master Fu from the start?

---

Accidents Are Also Miracles by @liiinerle

After some turbulent days that end with five people knowing her secret identity as Ladybug, Marinette loses faith in her ability to keep herself hidden. Wracked with doubts and insecurities, she pleads with Alya to take over as Scarabella, and tries to disconnect from heroing altogether. Along the way, she starts to date Kagami. Hard as she tries, though, she can't stop worrying - especially not once Monarch takes a particular, and personal, interest in her. At the same time, Alya tries to adjust to her new role while she works to uncover who Monarch really is, and makes some realisations about her own wishes. Kagami struggles against a controlling and abusive parent, and a girlfriend who seems bent on destroying herself - with or without Monarch's involvement. And in the meantime, Alix keeps popping her head back in with offers to help (because cool though time travel is, she misses hanging out in her own time).

---

Side Effects Include: Empathy by Word_Devourer

Adrien develops touch-based empathy from using a Miraculous as long as he has. This can only go well.

---

The Investigation by @11jj11

Adrien and Marinette are finally dating-- which is what Alya has always wanted... but yet this sudden transformation in their relationship overnight? Things aren't adding up. They are suddenly so much closer than they ever have been before, Adrien is apparently a flirt, Marinette is no longer a stuttering mess, and not to mention the nicknames that came out of no where. Alya is happy for her friends, but she knows there's something more going on, and the reporter in her is going to get to the bottom of it.

---

best (fake) smile by Reiaji

After Gabriel arranges for Lila to be his date at Paris Fashion Week, Adrien rights a wrong as best he knows how: with a little bit of sweetness, a little bit of subtlety, and a lot of social media magic.

[ludinusdaleth]

i'm not interested in finishing watching c2 (first 10 episodes bored me to death) and i only know c3, so what's the deal with essek? did he have a bad redemption arc? did he have a good one? do people just not like him for some reason? because i keep seeing his fans say the only reason c3 fans are saying his redemption arc sucked is to defend imogen and her mom and that seems too shallow to be the real reason.

first of all thank you for trusting in me to give a nuanced answer. ill do my best. essek is one of my favorite characters, but also so historically loved by fandom it has led to altercations and the drowning out of pretty much any other character in fandom spaces. ill try to explain. im sorry for how long this will be.

he was already deeply beloved as an npc for a long while before campaign 2 episode 97 dropped the fact that he was working with ludinus. he had taken luxon beacons (the object ludinus used to power the malleus key, what made opal & ted, what's in ashtons head) from his people in the dynasty - these objects were considered completely sacred to them, and the realization the empire had them, and the dynasty retaliating to get them, led to the war of ash and light which permeates much of c2's plot. so, functionally, essek's action led to war. essek was also at times in charge of or allowed to run interrogations on dynasty prisoners including nott/veth's husband yeza. to keep suspicion off of him, essek shifted blame onto a man in the dynasty who he had a petty grudge against, changed his memory, and set the dynasty onto him - this man was later given to the empire in a peace negotiation, so ludinus then had all control over knowledge on essek's involvement (bar the m9).

his remorse began with the m9, and how their lives had been effected by war and what the empire had done, and there is some implication that essek realized he was perhaps groomed by ludinus (and to a lesser degree made uncomfortable by his cohort trent) - though i should note essek was a (young) adult in government when he gave his people's artifacts away. essek hated the fact that his people were religious in regards to the luxon and did not wish to research it, and thought the cerberus assembly would be able to learn more about it.

essek's arc has been long praised as a very good one, and i think it mostly is. while i cant say we really see his kindness & newly brimming empathy fully extended, he does learn to see others as more than tools. he is still smug over his peoples religion vs his knowledge of the luxon, but learns to respect his culture enough that ludinus probably would not be able to sway him from it by insulting it now. he fights at the m9's side during the last arc, defends caleb from trent & the vollstreckers, helps fix caduceus's home. he is loyal to them forever and not just a traitor any longer. i definitely see some holes in it as he doesnt show much care to anyone but the m9, it is relatively quick how he descends into self hate about his actions that hes generally comforted for, and i worry at times he sinks too much into the soft hot boy flanderization due to everyone even the cast pushing it onto him (yes, softness & being too harsh exist in his characterization and are disliked at once, i know they are opposite traits). but i think it's good when a character is still an ass after redemption and matt clearly wants to avoid him being a soft boi in c3 whilst also maintaining that he has learned humanity & love.

you can see how that would be compelling, along with his general personality and good looks. this made him so compelling that his fans got, uh.... interesting. and that is probably the base problem that sets this discourse. (be aware my experience of his fans is primarily on twitter and in chats.)

folk would get mad and call the show unwatchable without his presence as if every other character was disgusting & boring to them (as if calebs character arc is not. literally. a parralel to esseks). they only cared about shadowgast (but only cared about essek within it, not caleb) and would be furious these two deeply aloof traumatized men didnt fuck on screen after 6 episodes knowing each other, called caleb abusive for not messaging him after a few episodes, called liam (who is iirc bi) homo/biphobic and abusive to matt for not kissing essek at one point or another. when caleb & essek did bond at the end of c2 and it was said they got together for a time that was not enough for fans, who claimed it homophobic (this magically mostly disappeared when folk saw other mlm stories did and do continue to play out in cr, which they only realized when orym existed and was a gold star gay - i, as a gay man, do not care on the scale they do lol). astrid was completely slammed into the mud by essek fans for being his mirror but a woman (they magically did not hate wulf, the last mirror in this scenario, a man, as much). people were furious essek did not have merch at the point where not even many pcs did yet and said it was homophobic (this magically stopped when he eventually got a portrait and chibi). a few learned he was ace/demi and called it a cop out, or otherwise ignored any nuance of it because they were horny about wizard yaoi (im aware ace/demi folks do have sex, but sometimes folk use that as a justification for ignoring the ace spectrum part of an identity). from personal experience, essek fans can be..... very disturbing, predatory individuals with no regard for who they are deeply sexual around, but that is just who i met and i do not want to go into that experience. in short, a lot of c2 era fandom has BEEF with them. i cannot say it is unjustified.

so with all that context, where does that leave the character and why do people compare him to liliana & imogen?

it is my genuine opinion from observation a lot of fandom on here & twitter that essek/shadowgast/caleb fans can be.... sexist. it does not go unnoticed to me that imogen has an extremely similar moral arc to caleb and yet is called evil when caleb is called traumatized & struggling with demons but a good man. caleb was part of the vollstrecker (assassins for the empire) as a youth but broke, and ran, after killing his parents, and had to learn he was more than dirt, and learn to love again. imogen began easily jealous & in turmoil about herself and her mother, but has grown to be one of the most empathetic people who is constantly struggling between sacrifice and her simple wish to live with laudna, that it seems the universe wants to fight. both are aware they could be or are seen as living shit for their youth or conception and accept it. both dont really know how to find a way out of that. i think both are incredible characters. i notice when fans only acknowledge the hero's journey of one.

as for liliana & essek..... look, essek has a very defined character arc that we have seen come to fruition and end in redemption. liliana (and by extension bor'dor and other ruby vanguard folk) have not yet. essek was framed as neutral at first and liliana was framed as ludinus's ally. i get it. but it is impossible to me to not see liliana in the steps of essek at the beginning of his own arc. if anything i think her intentions (if not actions) are infinitely less selfish than esseks, as she wished to do this to save her daughter. ludinus has caught so many in his web, and essek got out, and liliana just realized she's in the webbing. whats interesting is how we see clear as day every conversation they have that liliana has been brainwashed into cult mentality & justification, and yet only had one or two conversations vaguely indicating this about essek, and yet essek is always praised as a survivor where liliana is not. bor'dor is very clearly like essek in being an oppressed young man who sees a calling made by a powerful older man, but entire breakdowns of how men of color are recruited into the far right have been written about essek where bor'dor (actual man of color) is despised by the same people. the tldr on this is i do think some folk can be so drunk on Hating Essek juice they swing too far in their assumptions, but the pattern of his fans misinterpreting everyone else to elevate him is based on precendent thats happened for years, and i think it is deeply.... disappointing? to watch such a nuanced story play out in c3 and refuse to engage with it whilst claiming anyone who wishes to analyze the way a cult breaks your brain is misandrist.

im so sorry this is so long, but i really do not know how else to describe all this without its nuance. i hope i wrote something that made sense.

[foxglovetawny]

My BSD kins and why I kin them:

I don't actually have a lot but I wanted to make this list regardless

Dazai

I kin Dazai mostly because I'm a compulsive, pathological liar. When faced with a conflict, my first instinct is to lie. Regardless of who I'm lying to(myself, my family, my friends, etc). This habit has made me very good at lying. So much so that I have a tendency to manipulate and be dishonest to my friends and family in order to avoid them posessing negative views towards me. I don't like lying and I try not to, but I simply do not understand why it's bad.

On a deeper level, I kin Dazai because I'm constantly seeking for a reason to live. Everyday I wake up without motivation to do anything, and I go to sleep with dread that I will wake up the next day. Life is just an ongoing loop of meaningless events. I feel as though I have a gaping hole in my chest, and I constantly try to fill that hole with my lies. I make jokes about wanting to die and act childish around my friends as a coping mechanism. I constantly tell myself, "My friends and family really do care about me," but it simply does not work. I feel only capable of feeling empathy(not sympathy), because I can't understand other people's pain until I go through it myself. This results in my lack of understanding of why most morals are the way they are.

Chuuya

I kin Chuuya mostly because I'm short. I constantly get made fun of for my height and weight. I am forced to turn to violence on a weekly basis, simply because no one takes me seriously. I fear the appearance of weakness, so I either compress my emotions or express them in a form of anger. I have not cried in a year due to this. I talk about the people I care about a lot, but in a way that doesn't express my regard for them. Sometimes I'll call them when I'm not in my right mind, just to call them slurs(dont worry I can say them). They find this entertaining. I would sacrifice my reputation and risk everything to avenge my friends, even if it may not be possible at the moment.

Ranpo

Ranpo lower on the list because I don't kin him that much. Though I am not that intelligent, my intelligence is like Ranpo's. Instead of creating plans to reach my goals like Dazai and Fyodor does, I'm more able to notice patterns in behavior. This allows me to deduce certain things about people, including their insecurities, occupation, and type of intelligence. I used to be able to figure out people's class schedules back in high school using small clues I picked up in their dialogue.

Unfortunately, I still don't understand people. I constantly struggle to fit in and I don't know why. It feels like everyone gets each other while I'm just the outlier. I ache to be like everyone else, but I have accepted that such a thing is unachievable.

Nikolai

I kin Nikolai because I feel trapped. I feel like my emotions are limiting me. Being an HSP, I am more empathetic than normal. Actions that remind me of my own past experiences deeply effect me, and I want to be free from them. I don't want to feel emotional attachment, but I can't help it. Like Dazai, I constantly mask my emotions and appear to be childish and immature. I am a sadist, but I can't tell whether I actually feel pleasure in seeing other people's pain, or if it is just another lie I have convinced myself of to make myself feel more free.

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Side note: I've only read and watched bsd once so some of these might be wrong, please cut me some slack lmao.