#Sherman pines

[constellio-seven]

SHERMIE MENTIONED!!!

Shermie!

[tinfoil-jones]

Has Stan ever questioned Jerk Ford the reason why he is the only person he isn't a jerk to, since he's an a-hole even to the other members in their family?

"You don't know him like I do."

- Both Stans at the same time.

On Jerk Ford:

Throughout their lives, Stan insisted that just because Ford’s a jerk, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about anyone. He does care! Really! He just has a hard time showing it. No one ever believed him. You could just say that it’s a twin thing when Stan says something along the lines of “You don’t know him like I do” and they’re like well no shit he’s not a jerk to you. But, give Stanley some credit here, he’s more observant than you think he is.

---

Retired tech billionaire "Old Man" Fiddleford Hadron McGucket starts his mornings as he often does; going into his garage/workshop with a cup of coffee so he could re-tune his banjo for a few songs, quietly so as not to wake his wife.

He almost drops his cup of coffee when he see's theres something on his workbench that wasn't there last night.

A multitool.

One he hasn't seen in thirty years, but recognized instantly.

Carefully, he picks it and and inspects it, maybe it's just a replica.

FHM

Engraved in his late fathers handwriting, a loose scrawl that almost looked cursive if it weren't for the letters not being attached.

It's the same multitool. It's in pristine condition.

---

When they were just little boys, they were hiding behind the counter as their Pa was arguing with a customer, who ended up calling Filbrick a word they never heard before. Filbrick kicked the customer out, but it was clear he was more upset than he let off, in fact, he seemed almost sad, something neither twin had ever seen from their Pa. Filbrick then gave them a lecture that they can never repeat the word they just heard the man call him, because it was a very bad word that people used to insult and put down people 'of their faith'. 

A few minutes later, that same customer slipped on a banana peel that ‘came out of nowhere’, and sprained his ankle.

When they were a little older, Caryn was taking the twins out for a walk, when they passed a construction site and the construction workers started whistling at her, and giving her ‘compliments’ that she didn’t seem to like. She ignored it, but her little sons noticed her pace sped up and she almost rushed them away. 

That night, as those workers were double checking the work they’d done for the day, they were baffled to find that the concrete hadn’t set; the concrete had been tampered with, as if someone had poured a bunch of sugar in it while it was mixing. They’d have to redo it all over again, and it’d cost the company extra for the wasted concrete.

When the twins were in high school, Shermie, who had long since moved out but was visiting, was in tears telling their parents that his boss refused to give him the day off on the day his wife was due to give birth to their baby.

A week before the baby was born, his workplace was suddenly so badly infested with termites and roaches, that it would need two weeks to be properly fumigated, so the workers didn’t have to work while the fumigation was going on, and they’d still get paid because they were salary workers. Shermie was there with his wife when she gave birth to their son, and he got to dedicate a few days to just being with his wife and baby.

Their Ma would help out with Shermie's son sometimes, because both parents worked, but she also worked and would have her two younger sons help out with babysitting as well. And although Ford would gripe and complain about 'dealing with a brat all day', Stan had seen more than once that Ford would put the baby to sleep more than once by simply holding him in his arms and lying down with him, and also falling asleep.

In Backupsmore, Fiddleford was being bullied by a professor who looked down on him for being ‘a hick from an inbred, uneducated family’, and he was told to suck it up when he tried reporting her because she was tenured. In the middle of the year, she was unexpectedly replaced by a new, and much nicer, professor, and they were told their original professor was taking ‘an extended leave of absence’. 

She never came back, and it later came to light later on that the dean found a box full of documents and VHS tapes under his desk that hadn’t been there when he left his office the night before. All of which were extensive proof that the professor had been secretly embezzling the schools budget. 

When Ford comes back to their dimension after thirty years in the multiverse, no one who knew him from before is surprised that he’s still a huge indiscriminate jerk, and people who hadn’t personally known him but knew about him because of their yearly holiday that celebrated his disappearance were unpleasantly surprised to find out he was as bad as everyone said he was. And Stan didn’t necessarily disagree, but even after decades apart he could still see right through his twin as if he were made of rude glass.

Dipper's pens are suddenly indestructible to his chewing habit so no more mouthfuls of ink, and Mabel mysteriously never runs out of glitter; lately, it's also been more shimmery and almost... magical?

It doesn't matter where either of them fall asleep, they always end up waking up tucked into their beds, even though they told Grunkle Stan in the beginning of summer that they were too old to be carried and to just leave them wherever they’d crashed. 

Soos had been complaining all summer about his van making weird noises and having really poor mileage. Out of nowhere, Soos’s vehicle starts running like a dream and he’s getting ninety miles to a gallon, when it’s been twenty to the gallon at most as long as he’s had it.

Also, he didn't remember when he'd upgraded the graphics card of his home computer, but he sure is loving the higher FPS when he's playing video games.

Wendy is beside herself distressed and crying to Stan, Soos, and the Mystery Twins that her house had roof leak when a surprise summer rainstorm hit, and her favourite framed photograph of herself with her late mother was water damaged beyond repair, and is nearly unrecognizable.

The next day she asks her father when he’d made a copy of her photograph, and he replies that he has no idea what she’s talking about. She then takes a closer look at the newly framed picture she'd found on her desk that had been placed right next to her damaged one- did someone paint this…?

People assume that Ford only cares about his twin brother and no one else, because he's the only person he's never been a jerk to. But Stanley knows that isn't true; Ford loves just as strongly as he does, he just has a hard time letting people know.

As for Ford not being a jerk to him? Why would Ford bother, when Stan can see right through him? His twin is the only person who can see him, really see him.

---

Hours after Fiddleford had stormed out of the cabin with his bags in tow, Stanley looks over disheartened when he see's Stanford calmly place the multitool onto his own workbench.

"There were other ways to make him leave, Ford."

"I needed to make sure he wouldn't come back. That was too close of a call."

Ford had intended to give it back when the project was over, too bad it was on his belt when he was pushed into the multiverse.

[gruvu]

They are siblings. And Sherm needs to be caught up on all the shenanigans.

[paintedcrows]

Had a silly thought about hypothetical cat curse shenanigans with @dark-lord-of-awesomeness's How to Cat Burglar a Family ;)

Bonus doodle!!

[csodaturmix]

So basically, Ford's back, and I've been pretending to be him for the past 30 years, also I faked my death -

[ID under cut]

[Image description: digital art of Ford and Stan from Gravity Falls. They're smiling as Ford waves to Dipper and Mabel in an offscreen bus, and Stan wears his goodbye sweater. Stan's smile dissipates as he suddenly says: "Wait..."

Ford turns to look at him, and Stan exclaims: "Shit! We forgot to tell Shermie!" The last panel cuts to Shermie, who has gray hair and a mustache, sitting up in his bed in a dark room. He's holding the phone up to his ear with a weary expression, and his dialogue bubble just has a "..." (ellipsis). End ID.]

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Family Photos

[whateverthought]

I know there's a lot of debate about the Stans' age, and personally I've calculated it as 62, so Shermie would have had to have His Son(Dip+Mab Dad) at 16 and then the twins were born when their parents were 18 or vice versa. To me, I like the thought that Shermie didn't escape Filbrick's bad parenting and got a girl pregnant as a teenager and his son only managed to be slightly better and married the mother of his children only for their marriage to not work out. Bill Cipher referencing Dipper hearing his parents fighting.

It's the consequences of Bad Parenting and Abuse afflicted by this man that's haunting the narrative.

[gampix]

The Pines (1972)

[the-shy-lonely-weirdo]

Shermie Pines

This man will talk at length about the history and varieties of paper.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

Thinking about Stan faking his death again. He canonically was there for the birth of the twins and that leaves me with so many questions. Did he hide his hands the whole time? Did he just pretend to be Ford and hoped no one would notice the lack of extra fingers? Did he even bother pretending at all? Did he just hope that his entire family mixed up which Stan Twin died? Was anyone fooled by this? If Sherman was the baby in A Tale Of Two Stans then he would've been super young by the time the both of them left, it's at least an 18 year age difference, so it's not like he would notice a personality change. But he must've seen pictures. Did he notice and choose to not say anything? I honestly could totally believe that Stan just bullshitted his way through the whole event, both of the twins were so thoroughly isolated since they left home, and neither of them ever went back for visits or anything. None of their family would've actually known who they were as adults. God the Pines family makes me so sad

[a1m3v------two]

I know the implications of Sherman Pines and his son, Mr. Pines, being teen dads were unintended by the writers of gravity falls, but i think it is an interesting idea

it could be a factor as to why Dipper and Mabel’s parents have been fighting a lot recently, as implied by the Book of Bill. maybe Mr and Mrs. Pines got married as soon as possible after the twins were born, which is a rocky way to start a marriage, and could lead to it falling apart

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: Silliness II

Jerk Ford: Are you looking for a new dad?

Pacifica: Didn't you orchestrate my parents divorce??

Jerk Ford:

[Jerk Ford: Pff, no]

---

"You should always face gnomes in big groups. The larger the group of gnomes is, the more likely it is that they will become skittish and disperse at the first sign of danger."

"If you read this incantation out loud, it will consecrate the local area with good luck and holy radiance."

---

(1) It's interesting you should ask about Stanley having a partner or not. He's tried dating in the past. BUT.

He and Jerk Ford are identical twins. And by identical, I mean identical:

No, Jerk Ford did not get involved or step in when Stan was attempting to date. Jerk Ford knew basically from the beginning what he was about, but Stan was willing to explore his options before settling on any labels.

Dating/romance was like cooties for teenaged Jerk Ford.

(2)

"Haha! Look at 'em Stanley, they hate me so much they gave me a fanclub."

"..."

"Stanley?"

"But I don't want people to hate you. I wanted 'em to see what I see, when I see you."

"-Bah! I don't need 'em. I already got the best brother ever."

(3)

Stanford was allowed to return to family functions because Stanley (and eventually the Mystery Twins) vouched for him. But let's just say that Shermie and Jerk Ford's first interaction after thirtysomething years went exactly the way you think it would.

---

Mabel: Dipper, listen to yourself. This is crazy! I'm sorry you saw our parents fight, and I'm sorry I've been hanging out with Grunkle Stan's twin so much, but that doesn't mean you can just stay in here forever!

Dipville Mabel: Perhaps you need a quiet thinking corner to contemplate your spirituality and mentation? That is every enclosed corner here.

Mabel: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, MAY-THEREAL!

[Art by @tearosepedall]

[gruvu]

Sherman "Shermie" Pines, it took me far too long to make you a proper full body pic. I first had doodled him up in late.. 2016? I believe and he's been a favorite of mine for awhile. Who would have thought I would like a character that's never been seen mentioned like.. Five? Times. And take me nearly a decade to give him a mustache.

Anyway this is my Sherman, the eldest of the Pines boys. War Vet, divorced, and loving Grandpa regardless.

[holycrimin]

Making Sense Of Shermie's Age

Ok so you know how the whole fandom is like boggling their minds over Shermie's age?

well atleast from what I've seen lol

Let's say that when Stan gets kicked out, he's arund 17-19 (we're going with 17 for this one), and with Shermie being just a wee baby in A Tale Of Two Stans, it's a little problematic when realising his age when he had a kid

but since both the twins (Stan and Ford) are "pushing 70" that would mean they're around their mid-to-late 60's

And if we were to assume that Stan was 17 when he got kicked out, and once again assuming that the twins are 65 at their youngest, then that would make Shermie 48.

If both generations had their kids at 18, then that'd make sense with the timeline, but that's assuming that's the twins at their youngest

If it were 19 and 69, Shermie would be 50

Making either one generation have kids at 20 while one has one at 18, or both generations having kids at 19

At worst,

19 and 65, Shermie would be 46.

Which would make both generations 17 when they had kid/s

anyway thats it, thanks for reading my hopefully comprehensible ramblings about Shermie's age LMAOO

[csodaturmix]

get Shermed idiot

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Dipper and Mabel’s parents should count themselves lucky it took 40 years for these two losers to reconcile