#She's kind and good. But even those who are kind and good yearn for freedom.

[imminent-danger-came]

[justporo]

So, I do have another idea in my head - sighs.

What if Astarion goes to the same taverns to scout for victims. At one of those is this barkeep who's a pretty tough, quick witted woman. She notices the pale elf coming around often, notices too how attractive he is. And Astarion notices her too, how she handles the place and the people. Especially the latter since nightlife is a tough business, specifically for a woman.

Occasionally the two interact. She makes sharp comments about how he always disappears with someone else on his arm and Astarion about unapproachable she sometimes seems. They tease each other, but they don't pry - that's the unspoken agreement between them. But they do like each other, maybe more than either of them would like to admit at the beginning.

Astarion yearns for her. He can't even remember the last time he'd genuinely felt drawn to someone like this. And she's drawn to him because he's kind of a prick but a delightful one, witty and not as blunt as other people trying to get on her good side. They tease each other a lot but don't stick their noses into each other’s business too much, that's why it works out so well for quite some time.

Mutual pining ensues. She would be down for quite anything but stands by her maxime to not pry. And Astarion... He wants her, desperately. But he can't. Because he knows it would doom her. And he just can't do that to her... But still he feels himself drawn back there, time and again, feeling himself dragged down deeper.

But after something traumatic happens he finds his way there to the usual spot, not explicitly knowing what he wants, but subconsciously knowing what he seeks: the comfort he imagines to find in her embrace.

They spend a night, that makes Astarion believe in something that cannot be, even if only for that one night. But he knows that will have to be it.

After he leaves, he never returns again.

She knew that that was what might happen. She doesn't regret it but she can't quite forget him either. Somehow the strange pale elf with the beautiful white curls, glinting eyes and promising smirk stays on her mind.

That is until Astarion reappears a long time later - after he's defeated his master and everything else and he found himself walking to this place again where he hoped he wound find her again.

Because she's never quite left his mind either.

And then what if he does become an adventuring hero. They're not fully mutually exclusive but she becomes his homebase. Letting him roam and explore his newly found freedom but giving him the anchor and supportive love that he deserves.

And you just know that whenever he crosses the threshold to her tavern everything's gonna get dropped to spend a week in bed together.

[labeteenmoi]

Kings of the Subura

Part 2

Fandom : Those About To Die

Pairing : Tenax x OC

Warnings : Mentions of violence, rape and slavery

Summary : Wavering feelings and power teachings

Note : if you want to be tagged for the next chapter, just raise your finger

The bell rang.

“The race is on! Bets are over!” the man behind the counter shouted as he closed the jar filled with betting odds amid protests from the latecomers.

Another chariots race Tenax already knew the results of. He didn't even have to fix it anymore; he had the greatest power in the Subura: information. Tenax knew all there was to know about anything race related: who runs for money, who runs for glory, who runs for life. He also knew about all the power struggles involved: who owed who, who owned who, who fucked who. Incidentally, what the horses ate for breakfast and how much quality shit they had had mattered too, and he knew that too.

However, all that power, his pride and joy, mattered a little less lately. As he was distractively watching the chariots enter their second lap in a cloud of dust as they passed in front of the stable’s door, his mind shifted to the creature that roamed his house like a caged tiger, yearning for freedom, or at least for a hint of it in the streets of Rome, something he had always denied her.

Almost a month had passed since he had brought her home and the least he could say was that this woman’s pride was beyond imagination. No matter how good the care and security he provided to her, she resisted fiercely and that was probably the very reason she was growing on him. He liked it, her irrepressible spirit of rebellion—not in deed, she did what she was told, but her attitude was untamed, her eyes insolent, her repartee sharp on the rare occasions she bothered to answer him. Briga was far from purring while rubbing against his leg — she still seemed constantly tense, on alert, watching his every move whenever he got too close to her, but Tenax could see a change in the way she looked at him, a formal coldness had slowly replaced the ostentatious hatred she used to address him, and sometimes, he could swear, there was even a hint of curiosity.

It was only in the quiet, soothing moment of Claudia's bath that she seemed to find real comfort. The occasional glances he threw at her at that moment, a moment far too tempting for him to constantly be able to hold back, gave him the opportunity to witness a few rare moments when she let her animal sensuality express itself. In the incandescent darkness of that room, she looked something like a snake, undulating and glistening. Then she would see him and stare as if she had spotted a prey; fascinatingly deadly.

What never ceased to amaze him was how oblivious she seemed to all of this, oblivious to this aura of danger that emanated from her, unconscious to the attraction she exerted on him. Either she had no clue, or he was extremely good at hiding it. Anyway, it could be of use for his business. Not that it was his plan all along, he wasn't the kind of man to do things on a whim usually, except when it came to her apparently. Tenax could recognize an opportunity when he saw one.

The last silver fish tipped over to a cheer from the crowd announcing the final lap. Tenax's eyes widened in the ray of sunlight that streamed through the door's skylights as if suddenly coming to. The rider of the blue faction, Scorpus, had taken the lead, as usual. He didn't seem very happy about it though, whipping his horses with rage.

Tenax didn't linger after the race ended that day, each time a little less than the last. His home had gained in appeal lately, in a way, he wanted to return there more and more as the days went by.

At this twilight hour, it was bath time, so it was not surprising to find the first rooms empty. However, the quiet of the place struck him as soon as he passed through the door. No light came from the kitchen which was unusual, and the slight whispers of Claudia and Briga's conversations in the bathroom were muted.

Tenax stiffened, moving cautiously towards his room. He pushed the door open wide with a slight creak. The air that reached his face was thick, loaded with humidity and floral scents. Someone had indeed used the bathroom but as he moved a little further into his bedroom he saw the bathroom was empty.

When he turned again, peering into the darkness at the back of his room, a movement of air made the hair on the back of his head stand on end, immediately followed by the cold contact of a blade on the side of his neck. He froze for a couple of decisive seconds. Gritting his teeth angrily, he suddenly stepped back, hitting hardly the body of his assailant that he carried in his momentum against the wall behind him. The knife bearer let out a slight hoarse gasp under the heavy shock. Tenax immediately realized that this body was much lighter than he had anticipated. It was her, of course. He turned around quickly, pushing aside the hand that held the blade with one arm and grabbed the slave's neck, who didn't seem surprised.

"What are you doing?" he growled sharply.

Briga grabbed the hand on her neck.

"...You should have knocked." she muttered sarcastically under her breath.

Tenax took a breath, trying to calm down a little. He loosened his grip on her throat just enough to let her gulp.

"Drop the knife now." he snapped with a hint of worry in his wide opened blue eyes.

Her eyes narrowed as she formed a slight smirk before letting go, the kitchen knife fell heavily to the floor with a loud clatter.

Tenax sighted lightly, she could have pressed a little harder on that knife if she had really wanted to, cut just a bit at this exact point of his neck and he would have bled to death at her feet no matter how quickly he had reacted. She knew how to kill, now he knew, and it could be useful in the future, well, since she had chosen not to end his life on the spot of course. He should have felt dread but instead, he felt somehow aroused. The aftermath of gambling with his life when the odds seemed quite off. Suddenly, his thoughts interrupted: something on his peripheral vision seemed strange, there was way too much skin.

Lowering his face, his eyes fell on a damp chest to which were stuck soaked strands of her black hair that heaved with each deep breath she made. He moved away a little, realizing that he was still pressing his all body against her, and then saw her stomach and further down, her legs; she was naked and still wet. Tenax's hard gaze faded little by little, as it travelled the firm contours of her body.

The fine grain of her skin, tanned no doubt by the sun of her native province, appeared clearly to him now that he saw it so close. Claudia's care had borne fruit; she was immaculate, as if she had never been bruised. Despite the dizziness of such a magnetic vision, he began to feel observed and suddenly raised his head and met her piercing gaze. Briga was indeed watching him in silence, without any sign of embarrassment at being thus exposed to Tenax's eyes, without any sign of aggression despite his proximity and the contact of his hand on her neck, the elbow of which grazed the tip of her breast. She was too busy scrutinizing his reactions to her nudity to care much.

Briga still didn't know if she could trust him and somehow, she needed to prove to herself that he was just like these others perverted men who caused all her troubles. She needed to confront and kill this increasing attachment feeling he had awakened in her over the weeks she had spent with him. She had seen his haunted eyes when he thought he was alone in the room, the inner struggles he sometimes seemed to have when coming home. She had heard the screams at night, his wanders in the darkness of the apartment trying to catch his breath. He had secrets and dark thoughts that usually seemed to disappear as soon as he laid eyes on her. Do vile men ever feel remorse?

Maybe he was different after all, and that mere thought was enough to make her mad. More than once, she had trusted a Roman only to be painfully played in the end, how could she still be so naive? So, she often looked on his face for the same scornful looks that she had seen on the faces of her Roman delinquents. His occasional, not-so-accidental glances while she was taking her bath couldn't be that innocent.

Tenax suddenly had the feeling he was somehow being put to the test. That was some vicious way but certainly the most effective one, clever girl. He did want to feel more than just her neck under his hands, he wanted to smell these scents of rose oil all over her body which turned out to be all the more intoxicating once applied to her skin, to kiss her lips, but above all, he wanted her to want it too. He was closer than ever. So close, and yet, that enticing creature was expecting to see him losing control. He would hate not to disappoint.

He raised his head in a controlled inhale, hardening his expression.

"Where is Claudia?" he curtly asked, closing a little harder his hand on her neck.

She startled slightly, blinking at the pressure.

"She’s resting," she let out looking him straight in the eyes, "she felt ill.”

Tenax sustained her look, he wasn’t sure she was telling the truth. After all, she had just reminded him that she wasn’t as harmless to him as she had let him believe lately. He searched her face for any signs of a shifty glance but saw none, she seemed sincere enough to reassure him. He asked more calmly:

"Where is she?"

"In the guests room."

As she had answered in a soft voice, veiled by the pressure on her trachea, his eyes had landed on her lips. She talked so rarely that he had barely ever seen them moving. Fleshy velvety dark-rosed lips that never smiled, only sometimes grinned disdainfully at him when not firmly shut. But now they were parting slightly under his sudden hypnotized glance. Briefly looking up, he saw a glimpse of confusion in her eyes as she witnessed his softening mood, felt her breathing becoming barely perceptible under his hand but her pulse quickening.

Strangely, his own pulse caught the same rhythm as hers. A warm sensation invaded his own chest, a shiver ran up on his skin and before he knew it his hand was no longer holding her neck but simply laying on her collarbones, still held by hers.

It was as if time had frozen, the surroundings had disappeared, and they were all alone in the middle of an undefined mist. Their gazes travelling over their faces, he slowly leaned in, uncontrollably attracted towards her mouth that trembled a little at his approach when, suddenly, the walls of the apartment began to shake from violent blows.

Tenax and Briga opened their eyes wide in surprise, abruptly emerging from whatever spell they were under. The knocking started again, someone was banging on the apartment door with their fists and shouting "Tenax!! I know you're here!"

Tenax suddenly turned his head towards the door behind him:

"Scorpus!" he breathed shortly. "Get dressed," he addressed Briga eagerly.

She took a few seconds to react, her mind still foggy from what had just happened, then hurriedly grabbed the dress lying on the bed. Tenax opened the door without waiting and at the same time Scorpus burst into the apartment in front of a dazed Claudia who had rushed from the corridor.

With a quick glance, the man caught a glimpse of bare legs in the half-open bedroom door as Tenax was closing it.

"Scorpus! What's going on, my friend?" Tenax said hurriedly, opening his arms wide to the newcomer with a faked smile, pretending to ignore his rudeness.

The man had stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the closed door behind Tenax with a disconcerted look, before looking back at his host who was advancing. He seemed to regain his senses and pointed an accusing finger under the latter's nose:

"Where's my money?" he barked.

"Scorpus, I warned you not to bet on the lap," Tenax sighed, "the white faction has been running new horses that are younger than yours..."

"What?!" Scorpus shouted indignantly, "You didn't tell me anything!" he bellowed.

"Of course I did, you were probably still drunk…" Tenax retorted, shaking his head in disapproval.

The man sighed heavily, ostentatiously rubbing his eyes in disappointment. He looked up at the closed bedroom door, holding his hips, and seemed to ruminate for a few moments before fuming loudly:

"I lost big on that, Tenax!"

Tenax approached him, opening his arms again in a gesture of comfort as the man cast furtive glances at the door. Ignoring his friend’s approach, he kept on:

“And who’s in your room there?” he asked suspiciously, pointing toward the bedroom.

"Nobody." Tenax hastened to answer as innocently as possible.

Scorpus wasn’t listening, he walked around Tenax who didn't have time to hold him back, and pushed the door open, revealing Briga inside who suddenly sat up. Seeing that she had had time to get dressed, Tenax let out a discreet sigh of relief.

The newcomer stared at her for a few moments, stunned, while Briga, motionless, gave him a stone-hard look.

"Who are you?" he finally asked, visibly intrigued.

Briga remained unmoved, eyeing the visitor up and down.

Scorpus tilted his head, seemingly offended by the girl's silence.

"Who is she?" he insisted to Tenax behind him.

"No one," he sighed as he stamped his feet on the ground, "just… a slave..."

"A slave!" Scorpus exclaimed, a smile growing on his lips. He looked back at the girl, ogling her without shame. "What's your name?"

Silence still as the only answer, the man was starting to look seriously upset.

"Briga is her name, and she won't answer you..." Tenax intervened.

"Why? She can't talk?" he asked curiously before returning his interested gaze to the girl. "I bet this pretty mouth can do other things though..." he mumbled to Briga, whose eyes narrowed in return in a murderous glare.

Tenax heard it too and rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Because she hates you, Scorpus. She hates all of us, don't take it personally." he sighed heavily, shooting a complicit grin at Briga whose fierce eyes oscillated between him and the visitor. It had been a while since Tenax hadn’t seen such a fierce look on her face, he could tell a cold anger was slowly rising in her, her knuckles were turning white.

Scorpus stamped his feet, hesitantly waving his body towards Briga but held back in the face of the hostility emanating from her.

"No one hates Scorpus, I'm not a fucking Roman." He retorted in a mock-outraged tone, ostensibly giving her a smile of the kind he usually gave to his future conquests. Nothing seemed to stop this rake in front of a beautiful woman.

The thought of the knife left on his bedroom floor crossed his mind; Tenax started to fear for his friend’s life if Briga ever remembered it as well.

“What else can I do for you, my friend?” he cut in impatiently, loud enough to catch both their attention.

“Oh, well…” Scorpus mumbled, trying to stall for time before being openly dismissed from the place, “you’re not going to help me, then?”

"There's nothing more I can do Scorpus…"

"You should take her to the races one of these days," Scorpus unexpectedly eluded, "I'm sure she'd appreciate seeing the great Scorpus at work!"

He puffed out his chest, a display that still didn't seem to impress Briga whose gaze had not softened one bit.

"Or else you introduce her to your debtors, Tenax, if she looks at them long enough like that, they'll quickly settle their debts!" Scorpus noisily laughed.

Tenax chuckled. Of course he had thought of it, he had realized her silent hard looking presence could indeed have a certain power of persuasion. Surely others besides him could perceive this feeling of danger that her attitude gave off, Scorpus did seem to feel it as well or he would have been closer to her already, Tenax believed.

“I’ll consider it Scorpus,” he answered, “now I have things to do.” He concluded firmly, tilting his head towards the door.

Scorpus bit his lip in frustration, nodding at Briga with a salacious look.

“Of course, my friend!" he eventually gasped, "I’ll see you at the Circus in three days!”

Slowly stepping back without taking his eyes off her, he added with a wink:

“See you soon, Briga…”

Tenax accompanied him through the entrance door, holding his breath for any new try at poking at his slave. Scorpus passed the door but suddenly turned back and whispered in his face with a dubious look:

“What were you doing in there with her?”

"Goodbye, Scorpus" he replied with a contented smile, closing the door in his face.

Tenax held the door for a little longer, taking some time to recollect his thoughts. Finally turning around, he caught eyes with Claudia, holding her hands together in a confused expression.

"I’m sorry, Master, I…"

"I know." Tenax interrupted gently, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Hum… yes, thank you, Master."

He glimpsed at Briga, just long enough to see her staring into the void, when Claudia kept on:

"I’ll prepare supper right away, Master. Briga, please come, child." She called in a still sleepy hoarse voice.

Her name came to her as a distant sound in the air, only after some instants she seemed to have heard it and raised a confounded face to see Claudia and Tenax looking at her in puzzlement.

The way this man had looked at her had shaken her core. All these weeks locked in the security of Tenax’s apartment almost made her forget what it was like to be preyed upon like this, submitted to the depraved eyes of men willing to abuse her.

Regaining her senses, she saw concern in Tenax’s eyes, and it reminded her that she could breathe, he was there. Swiftly seized by the soft and warm sensation of being so close to him only instants before, for a mere instant she wished he was holding her again, leaving her all the more stunned.

"Briga?" Claudia called gently.

She shook her head and walked across the room quickly at the renewed call, unconsciously avoiding all the eyes on her; a confusion that first left Tenax speechless. It seemed so unlike her to appear overwhelmed like that and something told him it wasn't just about him and the unexpected letting go they had experienced a few minutes before. In some way it was bothering him and that was so unlike him.

Briga had eaten with Claudia in the kitchen as usual, mostly in silence from what Tenax had perceived from his sit at the table, only to reappear in front of him for the sole purpose of clearing the table. He tried to cross her eyes that she seemed to avoid.

"That will be all Claudia, you go rest home, the cleaning can wait." He announced suddenly, staring at Briga who finally met his eyes with a hint of suspicion; it was unusual for him to send her home so soon.

Briga immediately stopped and waited by the table in silence, staring at Tenax, both wary and curious about what would happen once Claudia left. When she did, the heavy silence between them lasted for a moment until Tenax calmly ordered:

"Sit. Please."

Please? That was new and rather intriguing to her. She was more used to him showing who the master was than that. Further arousing her curiosity, she complied and took a place at the table in front of him, keeping her hands on her lap and her eyes firmly locked on his.

He took a slow sip of wine, pondering how to address the elephant in the room.

"You didn't like the way Scorpus looked at you." Tenax finally let out.

Briga took a breath.

"I've seen this filthfy look on Roman's faces before." she bitterly said, thinking back to what these men had done to her.

Tenax nodded slightly, showing he knew well what she was referring to.

"Hmm… You see, I’ve learned in the streets that rage arises from fear, it’s like a defence mechanism. As impressive as your rage mays appear at first sight, it mostly reveals weakness."

She slowly tilted her head and intensely glared at him, unsure to appreciate the direction Tenax was taking there.

He softly smiled at her expected reaction; calling her weak and getting away with it was probably a privilege all his own and he certainly appreciated the sensation it provided. But beyond that, he mostly wanted her to understand his point, it was key to the purpose he aimed for. So, he resumed, calmly but more firmly than before, imposing her to listen through.

"When men look at you like Scorpus did, it means they covet you and that, Briga, gives you power; the power to either refuse… or accept, at your own terms. In my world, that is called an opportunity. You could use that to get what you want. You could use them..."

"Refuse or accept?" she interrupted sharply with an ironic frown, his voice almost hissing, "As when you have the choice? What power do you have when you are held by both arms… or chained?"

For a split second Tenax felt his mind on the verge of wandering; finally, there was a chink in her impenetrable armour, willingly giving away an ounce of what might have happened to her. He felt the urge to know more, but now was not the time, so in a controlled inhale he simply nodded thoughtfully, holding her stare with a surprising intensity:

"We are all bound to something."

Briga narrowed her eyes, wondering in what way could a man like him ever feel restrained. It just then occurred to her that outside these walls she did not know anything about him. She didn’t know much about him even inside these walls for that matter.

She observed him silently for some time. Being used by people, using other people… This would have never occurred to her before, not in the simple life she used to have back in Lusitania. But now she was in Rome, very far from her home, her way and her life. Adapting may well be her only way out of there someday.

"So, does that mean… I could use you?" she finally addressed him, biting her lip in an equivocal way.

She was getting it. Tenax rejoiced inwardly. He grinned back and playfully answered:

"You are free to try."

"Am I? You do want something from me… but you’ve never looked at me like that." Briga dared, eyeing him up and down ostentatiously. There was indeed a shift in the balance of power between her and Tenax, she could feel it now; something about domination that felt quite pleasant.

Tenax straightened up imperceptibly, a contented pout on his face. He knew the feeling that Briga was displaying, maybe a little too much. She still had a lot to learn though, he had to put her back in her place. He stared deeply in his slave’s eyes and softly said :

"Hmm…Well, that must be because I don’t covet what I already own."

[icebrooding]

I adore Cerus, he's a fun villain and was such a powerful threat to even Isgarren. But I think there is an underlying layer of tragedy that comes with his character.

Cerus admired Febe ("Oh, he was the best of us.") long, long after the man's death, and in spite of the fact that anyone aligned with Eparch and his beliefs would view Febe as a traitor. He believed in their autonomy; was an idol to it. Why would Cerus idolise someone so divorced from what his beliefs should be?

Eparch raised Cerus and Deimos both, instilling this violent and cruel nature that is not an inherent trait of kryptis. And Eparch favoured Deimos enough that Cerus developed feelings of inferiority; desperation to match up to Deimos in Eparch's eyes. He is the one stuck between his prized brother and his spoiled sister. While Peitha describes him as having no reservation, it's entirely possible that he was trying to assert himself, being the seemingly overlooked one of his siblings.

Maybe Febe was kind to him. Febe, who was gentle and careful and believed in autonomy. Freedom. He went against what Eparch wanted from the kryptis, and maybe, just maybe, that spoke to a young Cerus who was resentful that Eparch would look any which way but at him.

Cerus would look up to Febe and find he didn't have to compete with Deimos or Peitha to be noticed for once.

And why do I think this is what Febe's relationship was to Cerus? Because of the way Febe died.

Cerus was there with Eparch when Deimos killed Febe in the temple that would be named after him. But why? We know Eparch has a sadistic streak for watching people suffer, but why take Cerus there too?

Unless Eparch was afraid that Cerus had started to drift from his control and towards Febe, and he had to stamp out that possibility in a way he knew would stick. By having Cerus watch his idol be slain in front of him while he could do nothing to intervene, all at the hands of the brother he could, would, never be able to live up to.

"That's what happens when you fight back."

Maybe that's why he did the same to Isgarren all those years later; letting him go for the briefest moments to have to witness Mabon's death with full clarity, but with no way to prevent it. Breaking Isgarren the same way Eparch broke him.

And after that, there is nowhere to go. He pushed those thoughts away of what Febe inspired in him, and Eparch helped. Succumbing to Eparch's grip on him because there is no other choice now. And as hundreds of years pass, he grows to like it. He thrives in the brutality and does what he is ordered to.

But he never forgets his admiration, despite it all. And he still never matches up to Deimos, no matter how hard he tries.

It is even faintly implied that his own mate, Heitor, yearned for Deimos before him. Deimos was once the 'young glaive of House Nephus', implying that 'glaive' may have been a title that Cerus only gained upon his brother's disappearance or death. And through Kanaxai's own words, long before either of them left for Tyria: 'Earlier, the Glaive's hands clasp my shoulders. Prideful. Assuring. Heitor's envy, sumptuous.'

Even up until his dying breath, Cerus never compares to his brother.

And he could have. He could have had it all, presenting Isgarren to Eparch and finally receiving the validation that he was as good as his brother. If not for Peitha.

He would have achieved his dream, if only she hadn't stepped in.

But instead he lost his life, body broken with the aid of his sister like his mind had been broken with the aid of his brother all that time ago in the very same temple devoted to the man he'd idolised.

(This is not a Peitha hate post, I love she)

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

How the Companions Love

Greetings. I have returned, and I am inaugurating opening up asks to BG3 with a post about how the romance options love. Spoilers ahead. - Mod Alistair

Gale: Gale's love is bittersweet. He's loved before, and that love twisted in with his pride and desire for his lover's approval has ended with him here. With a bomb inside him, and getting a message from his once-lover that the only thing that will redeem him is sacrificing himself. He flirts and romances, but part of it is borne of him trying to recapture what he lost with his recklessness. Once he experienced magic with another, beheld the beauty of the world not alone, but side by side with the person who held his heart. Yet in a strange way, he's growing into a far greater love, whether Tav reciprocates his offer of romance, because he gains friendship where he once had none.

Astarion: Astarion loves cautiously. He shows lust easily enough, he's used to being seductive, making himself seem approachable and desirable. But love, emotional intimacy. He struggles, because it's a weakness, and he wants nothing more than to burn all weakness out so that he can never be enslaved again. Yet at the same time, the comfort of love calls to him, and carefully, fearfully, he reaches for it.

Wyll: Wyll loves hopefully. He flirts and acts like a suave hero, but at core, he hopes to find someone he can love who cares as deeply as he does. Who wants to help as much as he does. He tries to take charge and protect when he's unused to being among equals, and being cared for and protected in turn startles him. He hopes for love, but he doesn't expect to be loved back the way he loves.

Lae'zel: Lae'zel's love is uncertain. It's new ground to her, and she's already dealing with uncertainty as her world, both figuratively and literally, has been wrenched out from under her. Love is foreign to her, and she falls back on lust because it's what she knows. But slowly, she takes that step, revealing her emotional desires as she revealed her physical ones. And though she expresses it poorly, she grows to care for those around her, and to find love and kindness as she opens up, and learns more about the world she's in now.

Shadowheart: Shadowheart loves desperately. She yearns for it, and clings to it all the time, even when she feels she shouldn't. Her joy when she believes she's beloved by Shar burns bright. When she steps away from Shar, she falls back on the love and compassion she's experienced through her journey, building her foundation on it, where she once relied on Shar's teachings.

Karlach: Karlach loves passionately. She reaches for the first chance she's had to experience love, and she takes it. She fights to regain the ability to feel physical intimacy that was stolen from her, and drinks in the emotional intimacy she'd been missing for far too long. She relishes in compassion and love when she'd been unable to indulge in either for most of her life. Even when she makes peace with dying soon, because she never wishes to return to where she was enslaved, she devours as much love as she can, wishing to make up for the time she'd lost.

Halsin: Halsin loves freely. Both romantically and in general. He holds kindness, love, and joy close to his heart, and spreads them where he can. He seeks and offers freedom, and loves it for all it is. He's looked into the abyss, and chosen to turn around and embrace the world and people in it.

(I've got nothing for Minthara bc I play good characters. Add on if y'all want.)

Time and time again, the importance of love is repeated throughout Baldur's Gate 3. From the healthy to the toxic, we see love in numerous forms. And especially in our primary companions, we see this lesson over and over: when the world is beating you down, love will help you get back up. And though it's messy, and filled with arguments and disagreement, the group of people trying to find their freedom from a dark fate, and finding love and common ground together, is a deeply beautiful thing.

[calalillysstuff]

"I mold myself to become a performer in a role I wasn't originally thrust into."

As a child, I was not granted the freedom to make decisions for myself. I was more silenced than heard—the so-called "good kid," the "obedient one," the child your mom would constantly compare you to, the one every parent held up as a paragon of virtue and intelligence. My mother took silent pride in this; though she would never explicitly admit it, I knew she was proud. I was that kind of child. Yet, deep within me, there was a sense of yearning to shatter that facade. I often wondered how long I could endure such charade, teetering between the urge to break free and the necessity of donning a mask to earn the love of those whose affection was conditional.

As I grew, I morphed into a teenager devoid of opinions, ever agreeable, perpetually going with the flow—exactly as they had molded me to be. A walking mirror, reflecting those around me merely to fit in. It took years, marked by heartbreak, grief, and disappointments to recognize the sheer exhaustion of performing a role that was never truly mine.

I despise being loud, I despise going out, I despise speaking excessively, yet I forced myself into these roles, craving acceptance, conversation, and friendship. But that wasn't who I truly was. Even as a kid, I never aspired to be the good kid, the obedient one, or the exemplar of propriety. I am not proper. I relish solitude, I find joy in lying lazily on the floor on summer days, I cherish my silence, and I revel in my solitude.

In the relentless pursuit of others' approval, I lost myself in a role I never chose, suffocating beneath the weight of expectations. It took heartbreak and grieving of what I could have been, to realize that living a lie was the most devastating betrayal of all.

[quillkiller]

hey hi it’s pandalily anon I think I’ve contemplated them to the point of not being able to articulate it but for you…I try

Canonically, a lot of what we get about Lily is in terms of how she’s viewed by others - a good, kind, loving student, friend, wife, mother. and I think she can absolutely embody those things!! but I also think a part of her is clawing at the cage of those expectations that’s been built around her. She managed to disappoint and ostracize her sister and her childhood best friend by being herself so why the fuck would she have any confidence in exploring who she is and experimenting with her own identity?

Pandora is the inverse but also complementary? If that makes sense? she’s intrinsically motivated so other people’s expectations don’t hold the same weight and she’s endlessly curious, following interests on a whim. I think she’d be fascinated by Lily and respectfully I do see her having the kind of superiority complex where she looks at Lily and goes I can fix her (make her more like Pandora). Lily would find a certain comfort and freedom in Pandora giving her space to explore while also introducing Pandora to the idea that nice is not necessarily equivalent to being boring or a pushover (even if Lily does have pushover tendencies)

Im running out of words and this already feels like a gross oversimplification of their dynamic but do you see it?? do you get it??

HELLO 🤍

i do see it !!! and i go get it !!! i haven’t dabbled too much in pandalily, but i do like them. i think i just usually prefer them with other people. anyway, when i have dabbled, this is genuinely exactly how i consider them. like why are you in my head….

they’re a bg ship in my emmaryjames fic, and the lore for them is literally pandora with her god complex and how she just sees right through lily, making her the first one ever (as far as lily knows) to actually see her. lily has been yearning for exactly that since forever but when it actually happens it makes her soooooo uncomfortable at first. she’s used to being a blank canvas that people project onto and here comes this socially awkward weirdo with a god-complex and calls her right out from the start. lily is equally uncomfortable by it as she is intrigued and drawn to pandora. in my fic i explore a little bit how their eventual relationship sort or shocks people, because people think they know lily but they don’t. <- this is why i love!!! exploring lilys awful self hating lesbian awakening as an adult and how people will tell her that she’s so boring now, what happened to you, you used to be so fun. but like…. was she really ever any of those things ??? or was she just this blank canvas for men to project onto……. like, the girl next door never existed, she was always entirely made up by lilys desire to be as normal as she can possibly be…..

i think there’s a lot talk about when it comes to pandalily… maybe i should explore them more… it’s very interesting to imagine them coming together, lily keeping them earth bound and pandora making them hover just slightly over ground .. chefs kiss

[killingdoll]

Kombatober 2024

Day 12: Crossover

Wind God Fujin x Wind Youkai Kagura

They both wield wind powers, have an older sibling who is more stoic (Raiden & Kana), are free-spirited but can be brutal in combat, are pretty popular with the fans… so, I think they’d make a badass crossover pairing if they met.

Their story goes like this:

So, Fujin defeated Kronika and became Keeper of Time. In order to be a good Keeper of Time, Fujin lived as many lives, in as many eras as he could. In one of those lives, he was a Shinto priest, who happened to meet Kagura when she was mortally wounded by Naraku (right before her death). Fujin saved her and after Kagura recovered, she left to experience the freedom she always yearned for, but occasionally she paid the kind priest a visit. Gradually and unbeknownst to her, she developed feelings for Fujin and was heartbroken when he ‘died’ of old age. However, he soon revealed his true identity to her and offered her to experience life like he did. Kagura agreed and she spent several lives as human, youkai, animal, sometimes even as a plant. In nearly every life she always met and fell for Fujin, as a man and a woman, as two men or two women, as two trees growing side by side… In the end, she returned with Fujin and the two shared the responsibility of Keeper of Time.

[volcre]

How did Rhaenyra feel after learning of Daemon’s marriage to Laena?

& SEND ME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS // ACCEPTING

let's do it. one 'fuck me up fam' to go.

Rhaenyra absolutely hates having her life dictated for her. she hates the rules and obligations and responsibilities, even more so when the DUTIES her parents have in mind for her is laying on her back and pushing for a couple of hours straight. that's not the kind of a future the Princess sees for herself. well, not just that. she yearns for more. she aches for freedom to be more. to become more than just a mother. more than just a womb for some power-hungry man who falls in love with the iron throne and not the woman he marries.

so what is the solution to avoiding such future? well, one might say that the solution could be to choose her own husband. the lesser of all evils in the candidates offered on a silver platter before her. but Rhaenyra unconsciously might be trying to take it a step further. she needs a man who does not ache for the throne, for the novelty of such a power within his reach. she needs someone who is well used to it, who will focus on her and not the crown. not wholeheartedly. and her gaze settles upon the Rogue Prince.

at first it might have been a way to get out of many ridiculous marriage proposals. she flirts, she teases, she taunts. she goes with him to the whorehouse and isn't afraid of following through with whatever he has planned for them. it is only his refusal that puts a stop to their evening and she feels betrayed. she feels cold. alone.

the Princess is nothing if not stubborn and spiteful. she yearns for revenge and she thinks that it just might be hers. they're at her supposed wedding. she's to marry another man and she taunts Daemon with it. makes him contemplate stabbing someone with a dinner knife. and then she offers him a solution - take her with him, make her his, marry her instead of letting this farce continue. she's right there, so easy to grab and leave with --- and once again her plan backfires.

( exhibit a , how daemon didn't get burnt to a crisp with her glare through this whole dance is beyond me )

Rhaenyra feels powerless as she watches Daemon and Laena dance. it feels like a slap to the face, a rude awakening. of course the handsome, powerful Prince would not want her. not when he's surrounding himself with beautiful women left and right. not when he has ladies such as Laena offering themselves to him. she's so full of womanly grace, something acquired through years of proper etiquette lessons and good genetics - something that Rhaenyra does not think she has. she's younger, she's barely grown up, of course she is not on the Prince's list of possible love interests. to watch them dance together, to see Daemon's attention pinned to Laena instead? it makes something inside of her shatter in ugly realisation that it could never be her.

from then on, as the drama continues, as her ridiculous wedding comes to fulfillment the Princess still wonders for a moment where Daemon had disappeared to. she wonders if maybe he will break down the door to the throne room and take her away. maybe there is still time. maybe he still could come.

and then that's it. she's a married woman. to a man, nonetheless, who does not want her any more than she wants him. a man who will become a dear friend and a wonderful companion but never more than that - tragically, a man who never even thirsted for the throne in the first place.

and then a raven comes from Pentos addressed to the King. such great news - "Prince Daemon and Lady Laena married under the customs of Driftmark"... such great, great news. and while her smile might be perfect enough to fool those around her, to let them think she joins their celebrations of the new union --- it is only Laenor that notices the cracks of her carefully crafted facade. only Laenor that holds her at night as she weeps her sorrow, tears staining yet another letter that brought news.

"Prince Daemon and Lady Laena are expecting their firstborn."

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

For the DVD commentary, from My Brother's Girlfriend:

You see, Tenzin admitted that he was quite the romantic. He had a talk with his parents about it very early on in life. He told them that he didn't want to be the father of the air nation even though that would inadvertently be his responsibility. He wanted to give his children the same childhood he had: one where his parents loved him and his siblings the same: bending, warts and all. He wanted to marry for love: not to repopulate the world of it's airbenders. Aang had hugged his son tightly that night. At the ripe age of eleven, the boy understood what most of his older acolytes couldn't seem to follow. Yes, the world needed more airbenders. Yes, what happened to the airbenders was an atrocity. But it happened in the past. Neither can one dwell in the past, nor must they yearn for a future. What mattered was the present and what one can do with the gift of today. Aang always told his kids to do their best every day and if they did that, the universe had it's ways of rewarding them. That night, Aang promised his son that he'd be free to do as his heart desired. That the universe will settle the unbalance.

And then there were airbenders. His own brother amongst them. 

Tenzin's conundrum between choosing a man, woman, or bender he loved and his legacy was finally resolved. Even though his father and the Avatar had already given him the freedom, this was the universe's way of telling him he was indeed free to make his own choices. He liked to think that everything changed after harmonic convergence, but really nothing had. He still traveled the world and taught the principles of air nation alongside airbending wherever needed. He spent a total of two years at every temple, summoning more and more airbenders and introducing them to their element. Even though he was constantly surrounded by benders and acolytes alike, the experience was rather isolating. Aang and Katara would visit him from time to time, but his only loyal companion was his trusty sky bison, Oogie, who grew up with the young bender. 

No, but this was not about legacies or bending. 

Tenzin was displeased- furious even, at whom, however, he didn't know. But why? Clear as day. Because while he was searching far and wide for the love of his life, his unknowing brother slid right past and won her over with his unequivocal charm. He couldn't even blame her- not that he knew her or her type- to fall in love with someone like Bumi. For the longest time, Tenzin would wonder how he was actually related to this cacophony of a man and to think that now his whole purpose- his soulmate- was the very point of commonality between them. 

Coming to Chapter 2 of My Brother's Girlfriend, where the plot actually begins plotting: I like to think of the first chapter as kind of a prologue, with the second chapter being where to story actually starts.

This whole excerpt here serves as the "We are throwing all of canon into the trash and this is what's up" memo to catch the audience up with what setting this fic/ship is going to take place in.

As you all know better than anyone by now, I love a good "more than one person is in love with Lin and she's oblivious" trope. But, because of canon, I also LOVE a good jealous Tenzin fic. My guilty pleasure is those fics where Lin and Bumi are together and Tenzin is losing his mind from the moment he finds out.

So, it was only fitting to sorta re-do canon from the point where it became a problem for my first ship: Linzin. What if Aang led the Harmonic Convergence instead of it being a random consequence of the actions of Korra and Jinora? What if Tenzin stayed true to being an air nomad? What if the oldest two kids of the legends of the 100 year war got together?

Despite poking holes in the "plot" of canon, I wanted to keep the characters true to as they were written. And enter, Tenzin: a hopeless romantic. Inspired by his own parents' iconic love story, he feels almost entitled, if not blessed to the opportunity of true love. He plays by the book. He does his due diligence. And he knew the universe would reward him. He didn't need to marry and "breed" for the sake of is legacy anymore. In fact, it wasn't just him, he was sharing the weight with Bumi who had gained airbending through Harmonic Convergence (on that note: I also wanted to explore what Bumi would be like had he not had the whole "I am a disappointment because I'm not an airbender" thing going on. Would he still join the United Forces? If so, would he return home once he got airbending?).

In that regard, Bumi and Tenzin surely have a better relationship here than in canon- in the sense that they don't resent each other and their parents for their biases. But there's still some tension due to their polar opposite personalities, and furthermore, there's one-sided tension on Tenzin's side because he falls hopelessly in love with Lin, at first sight. One minute he's thinking of ways to ask Lin out without wasting any time, and the next, he is introduced to her as his brother's girlfriend.

Like canon, Tenzin can be pretty entitled. He strongly believes that Lin's with the wrong man. He doesn't seem care to think about Lin's feelings on the matter. He has this mindset that's like "if she could fall for Bumi, she could definitely fall for me with so much more ease." And because of that mindset, he is convinced at a very shallow level, that Bumi stole his girl.

I hope you enjoyed this commentary!

[runawaymun]

Elwing and Eärendil? I have Thoughts about them and now I wonder what yours are

Oh boy you got me 😔

I know this is a really uh…controversial take, but I don’t ship them. Everything about them smacks of imprisonment. Like get a divorce already.

I think they got married way too young way too fast and that actually neither of them enjoyed being married, and Eärendil didn’t enjoy being a father and Elwing didn’t enjoy being a mother. Eärendil is constantly gone (????) and wanted to make the choice of Men, but Elwing talked him into making the choice to be counted amount the Eldar (entrapment) which then leads to him having his heroic big moment against the dragon only to be essentially imprisoned for the rest of his life as a star (entrapment). Like not to discount how cool they were for sailing to Valinor & petitioning for aid, and Elwing’s sacrifice to jump into the ocean with the Silmaril — but they both read as sort of an antithesis to Beren and Lúthien for me. Beren and Lúthien chose their destinies and went to them gladly. Eärendil seems to rage against his for his entire life only to be trapped by it in the end, and Elwing is a tragic victim of her birthright as heir to Doriath, a child monarch who is crowned before she’s old enough to understand what that kind of responsibility even means who “dies” well before her time, just as Dior did. These two are drenched in tragedy.

But like, not in a fun way IMO? I think Eärendil really resented Elwing for the Choice they both made and it really feels like he never wanted to be around at all, for the amount that he’s just not present in the narrative of Sirion — in theory he ought to be father and king consort — and also ought to be a ruler in his own right over the refugees from Gondolin. He’s heir to Gondolin after all. And he has two heirs of his own to raise. Instead he’s Eärendil the mariner and it feels to me like he just shirks all that responsibility because he craves freedom. He’s the classic runaway price archetype who does the Big Hero Things…but at what cost? Tolkien makes it clear in characters like Eowyn that the Big Damn Hero Thing is not really the ideal which he lauds. Better to live a quiet life than to yearn for a vainglorious death (again…Earendil’s fight against the dragon feels almost…suicidal to me? On the one hand it’s cool. On the other hand it resulted in the drowning of beleriand. It’s like Eärendil wanted to be the subject of songs and tales, always wanted to burn out fast and bright. Etc etc. and then he’s left in stasis with the Silmaril in the sky…)

I’m rambling oh my god, in any case I dislike both of them and I especially dislike them together. They feel to me like those couples who were really cute in high school but then got married before their brains were done developing, had kids too early, and now Dad is Always Working and Mom has postpartum depression and a wine problem and you just wish they’d get a divorce already but they won’t because they’re both too unpleasant and stubborn to do so. I don’t think either of them were ready or equipped to be parents and while I am grateful that they got married & had kids so then we get Elrond and Elros, I don’t think it was good for them and they would have been way better off apart.

[iamacolor]

People complaining that naksu is too innocent but she thought he wanted to have sex on a public walkway next to a lake and was like “kinda freaky but okay” she’s not innocent, she’s kind and lacks power, but still makes the decision to fight back regardless. We haven’t seen her with a blade yet but there’s a hundred percent chance she opens naksus sword while living with jang uk and freaks everyone out (I hope her opening her sword is a big moment bc that was what she was working towards in the first season and also bc the last time she had it she impaled the man she loved on it and I love that)

she really was down for it lmao and yeah I agree, based on how she's been living for the past 3 years (locked up with only her family and some guards for company) and what she's been told about herself, I'm not surprised by her attitude and personality - she thinks she's the daughter of an overprotective family not a soul shifting assassin who found love but she's yearning for freedom and will do all that she can to gain it and she's not above flaunting or begging and making a deal with the least expected person (which is a direct parallel to the beginning of part1) but also she's excited and open when she's with jang uk because he's a huge novelty for her and he's obviously unlike anyone she's met and she doesn't know yet how dark the world has been to her and what she's done so of course she's not scowling at everything or talking about poison because she can't tell him she loves him upfront.

and yesss the sword better play a big part this time around. it's already very symbolic with jang uk carrying it with him at all times and using it to kill shape shifters when he was killed with it by his shape shifter lover. but now we know that she has access to her powers if only a little and that they're connected to her memories (and even if she doesn't have those back yet, it's clear her powers are tuned in to her connection with jang uk which is a good sign). I'm thinking she either gets to open the sword at his house or by picking it up without thinking during a fight (it would make for a very cool scene) to protect him. I did love the angst brought by her killing him with it in part 1 and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who was loving the drama of it all but I think it'd be super cool if this time around she gets to fight alongside him or to protect him with this sword and truly take it back as hers, a symbol of all her history. she's a fascinating character and I'm so curious what her reaction to gaining her memories/powers back will be (and also wether it'll happen all at once or more gradually)

[marshmallowprotection]

Hang ‘Em High

Pairing: Saeyoung Choi/Judas [Male CMC] Description: Saeyoung's mind wanders as Judas' hands wander. The fire he feels is something he never wants to be extinguished. It's a damn good thing his boyfriend wants to burn alongside him.  Word Count: 2306 [Read on AO3]

“I’m starting to think you might be more enraptured with me than you want to admit,” those haughty words came as a taunt from Judas’ lips like a discordant melody. “It wouldn’t be a first for me. You just wouldn’t believe how many men I’ve seduced over the years after they decided to hold me captive. Of course, I got rid of them in the end… but you, oh, Saeyoung. You’re the lucky one.” 

The trickle of his boyfriend’s chuckle made his spine quiver. Saeyoung wasn’t the type to let go of control or inhibitions, but if there was one person in this world who’d proven himself more than capable of getting under his skin—it was Judas. It was his target-turned-ally-turned-lover who knew the ins and outs of his body like it was a piano he played for years.

Judas knew what it was like to be tortured, maimed, and left for dead just as well as he did.

That was why it was so easy to look him in the eye and blow off some steam. After all, that was how it started in the first place. Gnashing teeth, wandering hands, and wild eyes in the middle of the makeshift interrogation room Saeyoung set up in his bunker. 

It all melted in nothingness… nothing but a burning desire that brought him conflict, unlike anything he’d ever encountered. He never felt anything like that before and he wasn't sure he would ever feel anything like that again. Judas was the only person who ever made him feel it. That desire… that yearning… that fire… the kind of selfish dream that a Priest would make him sit in confession for until he admitted everything he wanted to do… and have done to him. 

Judas was the only person to ever make him want to bite something just as much as he wanted to be bitten in return. It was different with their girlfriend, Minji. When Saeyoung was by her side, it was like he was blanketed with a buff of flour and cinnamon. She was a gentle fire right when he needed one in the dead of winter. She made him want to survive another night even if the world outside of her warmth was cruel and unforgiving. What she gave him was… the hope he never had. 

But, Judas?

What he felt when he was with him wasn’t like the cinnamon and honey he tasted when he was in the kitchen with Minji. Oh, no. It was a different desire altogether, and if he were to put it in mere words, no word could ever come close to what he needed to say. It wasn’t the sensation of wanting to hold someone all night long with a tender look burning in your eyes. It… was much more akin to an insatiable hunger for more. If he was a glutton for anything, it was what he felt whenever he kissed Judas in the heat of the moment. 

Saeyoung wasn’t supposed to want anything like that. Hell, he wasn’t supposed to be loved or love another person because of the sacrifices he made as a child to do what he thought was the best thing at the time. Even now, to this day, there was a part of him that couldn’t believe he’d not only been given the freedom he wanted for his brother, much less that he was in love with two people who loved him just as much as he loved them. It almost didn't seem… fair in some ways. 

How could the world give him desire and yearning when he never wanted to let himself taste the apple in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Was he even worthy of such a thing, anyway? Sure, he made sacrifices, but he did so knowing he would forever taint his soul with damnation. Was it okay for him to receive and give the very thing… he took away from others? That was the kind of thinking no amount of therapy could make better for him. 

Even as he was trying to get better, that thought always lingered. 

It would be a part of him for the rest of his life no matter how far he got away from the living hell he experienced. Saeyoung knew that like the back of his hand. 

But, when Judas looked at him, with that cocky smile and those come hither eyes—

Saeyoung cracked under pressure and he couldn’t say he regretted it now. Back then, though, Vanderwood would’ve killed the two of them and moved on to his next assignment without a second thought. It was the thrill of something dangerous that spurned him to act. Saeyoung… had never been a selfish person in his life. He always acted with the thought that his twin had to have everything first. If there were scraps left, he would take them. 

He never took anything because he wasn’t allowed anything. He wouldn’t ever allow himself to want anything. Judas tested that mentality, though. His tongue dipping out between his lips as he spoke tempted him in ways he never had to fight before. His desire for Judas had been there from the start. The urge to act on it, however, had been what he had to fight. 

For somebody who never let himself have anything, it was harder to hold himself back than it should have been. That was the influence Judas possessed over him. That was the power of his sharp blue eyes and wavy black curls. It wasn’t just a game. They called it a game for a while to avoid putting a label on what they were doing, but they both knew better than that. Even with the experience Judas had over him by the chance of being born just three years before him—the reality was undeniable—they had become intertwined before they knew how to stop.  Judas would pull his hand, let his hand linger against Saeyoung’s shoulders, whisper in his ears so close that his lips would brush against the shell of his ear, and spurn Saeyoung to corner him when their interrogation process got them nowhere. If Vanderwood had been in the room, the process would’ve been more streamlined. But, Vanderwood hadn’t been there most of the time and Saeyoung had to delegate the process by himself. 

But… it wasn’t like Saeyoung didn’t push back when they were stuck in that small room. There were no lies he could tell about what he did to avoid Judas’ advances. He never avoided them to begin with. He reciprocated every single one. He played into Judas’ hands just as much as Judas played into his. 

He would pin Judas against the wall with vicious words that only seemed to be just enough to entice him to play, let his eyes linger in all the perfect places, and his guiltiest action—how he never stopped himself from letting his hand rest against Judas’ hip the second the man took a seat on his lap to watch the CCTV footage as they unraveled the mystery of who lured Minji into Rika’s apartment. 

If anything, they were both guilty of playing a dangerous game that wasn’t at all a game. They knew better than to play with fire, but they danced right into it. Judas knew they were going to kill him when they got everything the agency wanted, and Saeyoung knew it was his job to get rid of him when that day came. In reality, they should have been at odds with each other until the bitter end. 

But, as fate would have it, they leap into the flames they knew like the back of their hands like it was something they were destined to do. Saeyoung let Judas in at his most vulnerable moment and Judas didn’t take advantage of him. He drew him in and gave him a reason to survive and see the next day in a way that Minji just— couldn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t good enough for that. She was perfect. 

Her gentle reassurance gave him back the wings he lost when he accepted the agency’s deal, and Judas’ hands grounded him from getting swept away into the stars. 

The fact of the matter was—Saeyoung realized he needed them both to become himself again. He was just so damn lucky that they loved each other just as much as they loved him. To think that never would’ve been possible had he not given into temptation… to the desire in his loins that beckoned him to take more, more, more, more, and more.  

Saeyoung’s orders had been clear about how to handle the informant his agency had taken in for intel. 

He and Vanderwood were supposed to let him think he was safe until he spilled the beans on what he had on the human trafficking ring that was run by his former lover. It was the deal of the century. The agency got what they wanted and they didn’t have to go underground to get it. They only had to use one man to get years of work. 

Once they had everything he had, Judas was supposed to be disposed of. He wasn’t supposed to live beyond that. He was supposed to have been killed years ago. Yet, here he was, as alive as he could be with his chest pressed against Saeyoung’s back and his hands around his waist as if they were always meant to be there. Nobody would ever have Saeyoung the way he did… if only because Judas was the person who Saeyoung would allow to stand behind him. 

The agency could’ve never expected what happened between the two of them, though. None of them would have ever accounted for how easily the two of them worked together. It was almost like they were meant to be a dynamic duo. If they’d been the ones partnered by the agency at the start… Well, Saeyoung knew the underground wouldn’t have lasted for very long. Everything in their way would have been eviscerated. 

The agency had created its undoing by putting the two of them together in the end. They were the ones who destroyed everything. He and Judas were meant to be nothing more than a couple of pawns… spare pieces that could be traded away for a King… but, they proved to them that pawns were more than what they seemed. 

It was funny in a way, to think he would allow somebody who could easily kill him in a matter of seconds behind his back. He was always paranoid that someone or something would get the slip on him… to the point where he would never let anyone get behind him. He wouldn’t even let Minji stand behind him unless someone had a gun pointed at her and he needed to become a human shield. It was nothing against his trust in her care. 

Saeyoung just couldn’t leave his back exposed. 

Not just to anybody, anyway. 

Judas was the only one who could stand behind him without a single complaint. He knew his boyfriend would guard his back. If anybody so much as tried to do anything, Judas would end it for him. That was the dynamic of their bond. It was something he could only give to another person who knew what he was like in his visceral state of fear and anger. It was a brand of trust he could only give someone who would be willing to kill him or be killed by him if something ever went wrong. 

He could only entrust that position to Judas. 

“I’m the lucky one?” Saeyoung leaned against him, lifting his hand to grasp at Judas’ hair so he could pull at the strands and catch a glimpse of his knowing gaze. “I seem to recall otherwise… I think you’re sorely mistaken, again. You seem to forget just how small you are… and how easy it was for my hands to wrap around your throat back when you threatened me.” 

“Oh, you just hate to admit you want someone like me to dominate you,” the response flowed off of Judas’ tongue like it was nothing. He leaned into the pressure from Saeyoung’s digits on his scalp. His hands were hovering dangerously close to the space between his hips. “You know, I wanted you to pin me down, sweetheart. That’s why you did. You know as well as I do that I could give you exactly what you want… as long as your pride will let you admit how much you want to be coddled.” 

“Try me,” he hissed. 

“Oh, I’d love to try you… again and again.” Judas brushed his lips against the side of Saeyoung’s throat. He seemed proud of himself. He was always proud of himself when he got his way. The same way he inspired Saeyoung to be. “Isn’t that what we always do, darling? You push me and I push you? Until we fall together into the fiery pits of the Hell that you believe in… until Minji comes down to whisk us away to Heaven where neither of us truly belongs but… goddamn, if it doesn’t feel good to be in the sun.” 

Saeyoung inhaled, sharply. It was the same thing over and over again but he would never have enough of this. There would never be enough of this. He was always going to want more and more and more. One taste was never enough. Saeyoung would never be satisfied and Judas was more than willing to feed into his gluttony by opening the palm of his hand and letting him eat his fill forever and ever. 

Here they were again, playing a dangerous game, but they both knew what the outcome would be in the end. 

“Kiss me.” 

“I thought you’d never beg.”

[Art Reference: @/Half_A_Genius_]

[mysticstarlightduck]

Happy STS! If you were to design a deck of playing cards based on characters in your WIP, who would you assign to be the King? The Queen? The Jack? The Ace? And the Joker?

Happy Storyteller Saturday to you too!

This is an interesting question, one that I had to put quite some thought into in order to properly answer, honestly. Now that I think of it, I think I have some characters that would fit those roles quite nicely! (By the way, I did some - albeit rather superficial - research on the symbolic meanings of some of these cards and the opinions I found were varied, so I chose the meanings that best suited my characters of choice)

THE KING:

For the King card, I decided to take a more subversive approach rather than just outright choosing an actual ruler from my story. There are many kinds of King cards in a playing deck (king of hearts, king of spades, king of diamonds, and king of clubs) and each has its own "meanings" if you will. For this in particular, I choose King of Diamonds for my character Lord Nethen Fahris, a young man from the small nobility who is the rival and soon-to-be love interest of Princess Ellinnor Dallantes. It's a card usually associated with cunningness, secret knowledge, and shrewdness, as in someone who is good at finding advantages and navigating the situations they are in - but it is also considered an omen of protection by some, and I find that this is the perfect description for Nethen in The Last Wrath. Another character that I believe fits this card very well is surprisingly, a character with little to no noble blood, Julyan Ashiren - even though he is not actually a noble, he comes from a very ancient and powerful family of Mageborn, and is now their firstborn heir. There is also another reason for this choice, a secret about him that I cannot disclose as it is one of the main plot twists of the book, but one that makes him more than qualified for this card choice.

THE QUEEN:

For this card, the choice seemed kind of obvious, as one of my characters from the main cast is the rightful queen of a kingdom but had her birthright stolen from her (I am referring here to Princess Ellinor Dallantes). So here, I would say I choose Queen of Clubs for my young lost princess, Ellinor. Of course, I think the name of the card speaks for itself, as she is a queen in her own right and is determined to take back what was stolen from her, bringing justice to those who have wronged her family and her people. As a Queen card, it is usually associated with authority, intelligence, and being a fair but powerful leader. Ellinor is not afraid to face a war if it means setting herself and her family's subjects free from her uncle's corrupted rule, and is just as cunning as her rival-turned-lover can be. One other character that could fit the Queen card is Nadinne Ahmirah, a Lady whose family has ascended from anonymity to considerable wealth and have risen to courtiers in the local noble court of Vellamere as their exploits as seafaring merchants have more than granted them prestige and influence. She yearns to be like her ancestors, a tamer of the waves living freely as the tides dictate, but she has now duties and expectations to fulfill that keep her - at first - from achieving her dream goal. And last but still not least, the elusive and endlessly charming mercenary with a heart of steel Morwan Destrin, more than fits this role - not only she is, in all but name, almost a mercenary queen, but she is also a scorned noble (though I cannot yet disclose her true heritage).

THE JACK:

Also known as the Knave (rogue/scoundrel), the Jack card was a tricky one for sure. It's usually associated, as the monicker Knave might suggest, with a tricky or deceitful person. This is a perfect card for a few of my characters, to be precise. Raelen Ashiren is one of them, as she is quite the little rogue when it comes to standing up against unjust authorities and finding freedom in doing what is right, even if she has to be a little bit roguish or tricky to do so, and is currently wanted in several kingdoms after being wrongfully framed. Another interesting character I chose for this card was Emryc Thorne - one of Ellinor's best friends and a skilled thief who uses "street magician" tricks to confuse his opponents and make his heists successful), as he is a witty, highly intelligent, and extremely sarcastic young thief who is not afraid to use deceit to his advantage - in fact, he rather embraces it, as it is a key part of his entire "career" of choice. Emryc has earned quite a reputation as a scoundrel, for several different reasons. Luciya Anynth also fits quite well the role of the Jack card, as she is not only an outlaw to whom the value of life is freedom with no holds barred, but she is the lowborn daughter of a young man with a reputation for being quite the rogue. Last but not least, I chose Cassander Fynn as this card as well - a rebel spy, his entire occupation, as well as his life and that of hundreds of others, depends on his ability to deceive, lie and cheat his way into enemy ranks, though he maintains a strict code of honor even then.

THE ACE:

A card that is associated with the number one, it can be simultaneously the card with the highest or lowest value on a deck depending on the game. Some people associate this position with success, power, and quality, as well as good luck, though it can also be considered quite unstable. Due to certain historical events, it has also come to be considered a "Death Card" or bad luck. So, considering all of this, my characters of choice for the Ace would be Vallerius Zyndrosar, Zephyr Tellian, Bryn Seperi, and Tanwin Lyrandeth. All of said characters are complex but good-intentioned people, and are incredibly loyal to their friends, though often waves of bad luck keep them from achieving their full potential. Vallerius is an incredibly kind and smart young man who despises his magical affinity due to events in his past that made him the most wanted man by the Morosyn Empire, while he is really just a sweet kid trying to make it through the chaos of his life with only blind luck and improvisation to help. Zephyr is a smart and talented sorcerer, as well as a doting older brother, but has fallen prey to a terrible hatred curse that makes using his recently acquired magical talents very taxing and painful. Bryn is a young mercenary turned bitter by past injustices, someone who despises the continent and would rather watch it burn like it did to him in the past, but who, despite all of this, makes the decision to fight for a better future - not out of a sense of altruism or for the continent he hates, but for the people in his life that make it worth fighting for. Tanwin, once a sweet and naive young boy, was captured and turned into a soldier by an enemy warlord, and now is one of the deadliest people on the continent, often struggling between who he was turned into and the person he wishes he could be, being at the same time one of the best friends anyone could have - on a good day, that is.

THE JOKER:

A card that is often used as a wild card in games, it is one that can be extremely beneficial and harmful at the same time. Because of this, it is also often associated with chaos, intelligence, unpredictability, and wit. It is also often depicted in cards as the court Jester, a Halerquin, or a Clown. Characters that fit this card's archetype would be: Azra Moorsworth, Fabian Anynth, Ansell Kallik, and Yuna Thyren. Azra, Raelen and Julyan's adoptive brother and the (adoptive) son of their godmother, is more than meets the eye in many ways - especially when it comes to the real truth about his past and origins, something that not even he knows about. He has a joyfully playful personality and tends to use humor to lighten the mood while underneath it all there is a storm of emotions raging inside his head. Fabian "Anynth" used to be Luciya's closest friend and secretly her half-sibling (though she is not aware of it), but a shocking betrayal on his part broke their bond forever - even though, the truth about this act of treason is far from what she or their friends could have imagined. Ansell Kallik is the best archer on the continent, as well as Princess Ellinor's closest friend and confidant, but he is also a very dangerous person towards anyone who might stand to harm his friends. Also, his unpredictability shines through in combat, as his enemies can never see him coming before they already have an arrow to the chest. Yuna Thyren, another friend of Ellinor, though not nearly as close, and the second to newest member of the Princess' elite group of assassins, is one to keep her secrets under lock and key, along with her mysterious past - no one knows the truth about her or her personal mission but herself.

@writernopal

[memorydragon]

Have you calmed down Mem? You haven't posted in a few days? - No, I have not. I just started my rants and realized I needed more time to rotate those particular details, so I'm sure you'll be getting more of it later. Also, I needed to pause my reread of Tun Hai because I'm not altogether sure I won't go right back to Poyun once I've finished, and I needed January to be over before I read it a third time this year.

See? I'm consuming media that makes me unhinged in an entirely normal way.

One of the reasons that these novels make me so feral though is the underlying premise of Knowing someone. Because we're all queer here and that totally makes us feral, I know.

But just, I saw someone comment about how Yan Xie accepts Jiang Ting despite the lies, and that's kind of not what's going on. Yes, Jiang Ting is a lying liar who lies. He's not even very good at saying what he wants in the relationship, Yan Xie specifically calls him on this repeatedly.

Because he's not very good at saying it, but he shows up in Yan Xie's apartment after the key was tossed at him, he drinks the 'wife tea' once the tea cake has already been rendered valueless (And I adore that Yan Xie has to break up the second one before he'd touch something so expensive. Yan Xie sees through him), he takes Yan Xie out to lunch and hangs out with him, not just for the case (though he's definitely doing that too. He's a trauma kitten that needs enclosure simulation because he will overthink everything if left alone), but because he sees that freedom and yearns for it, and that yearning turns to affection that he can't stop himself from getting near, no matter how bad an idea it is.

So yes, he's lying, but three separate people in the novel have watched him long enough to know Jiang Ting isn't who everyone says he is and who he himself thinks he is. Yan Xie watched as Jiang Ting raised the gun to his own forehead when Jin Jie triggered him and he knew that Jiang Ting couldn't have pulled the trigger against rivet. Han Xiaomei knew there was something wrong because she might be just an intern but she's not stupid, but she saw that Jiang Ting would kill without blinking an eye and she also knew he kept her hidden intentionally to protect her. Ma Xiang listens to Jiang Ting say yes, he is the most suspicious of everyone, but chooses to ignore all that and trust him anyway because he sees how broken Jiang Ting is while Yan Xie is in the operating room. Jiang Ting is essentially the open secret of the whole sub-bureau and this is not because Yan Xie is besotted with him, but because they've all judged his actions and decided against all reason that he's not the mole.

Of course they know he's lying about his past. They saw the him of now and decided what was known wasn't nearly as relevant as the evidence of who Jiang Ting is before them.

When Yan Xie says 'Why are you always so dishonest about your feelings?" When he says "Why do you always choose the wrong people to protect you?" When he says "Why don't you trust me to still love you?" He knows. He knows Jiang Ting. He knows the past is important and that it matters, but none of the past will ever change the fact that he's in love with Jiang Ting now - in the person who Jiang Ting is to him. Because that person who Jiang Ting is, who he sees, isn't wrong.

When Jiang Ting asks "Do you still trust me?" after Yan Xie has finally uncovered everything, and Yan Xie responds with a shrug and "What do you think?" Jiang Ting has to hastily cut him off, saying "It's better that you don't." Because he's half-afraid of the answer Yan Xie will give when he has to betray him and point a gun at his head and it has to be believable or they'd both be dead.

Yan Xie has already deleted the one picture from his phone album that he couldn't get rid of. He's already had his heart broken. He doesn't even realize when he's started crying when Jiang Ting kisses him and points the gun at him. But he still never denies it. Even when he can't fully believe in the hope that's being dangled before him, because Yang Mei is the one who saved him and that had to be planned, he still goes to Chief Lu and asks. He still says 'it was too fast and I didn't see clearly' despite Jiang Ting shooting ten people in front of him.

He still goes home and sees Jiang Ting everywhere in their apartment. And when he finally, finally finds evidence that Chief Lu was the one lying this time, he bluffs his way to finding out the truth about Jiang Ting being undercover without a second thought. Because despite everything, he loves the person Jiang Ting is.

Tun Hai goes a step further, and there's a reason I go ride or die so fast in that novel. Because Bu Chonghua is wrong about so many things. Like, I genuinely love how off he is on the mark of his analysis of Wu Yu, while still being 100% right about seeing through him. When he falls in love with Wu Yu, he falls hard, and all of his assumptions get turned on their head in the end, but that doesn't matter to him. What matters is Wu Yu in front of him that he's fallen in love with. That this is the person he's been chasing after for twenty years, without even knowing who he was. When he raced back to the martyr's cemetery because he bet that he knew Wu Yu, despite everything and that he couldn't be wrong because he knew the person he had fallen in love with. And Wu Yu isn't there, he nearly turns back, but then he sees Wu Yu is just a little later than him and he won his bet despite everything.

Wu Yu is terrified of Bu Chonghua's ability to see through him. He knows it's only a matter of time and he's set to disappear entirely, he's already known. Jiang Ting pulls him back, helping him hide and letting him stay a little longer (and I am So Normal about this, fuck, Jiang Ting this isn't even your novel and I'm feral), but it's already too late. When Bu Chonghua asks who a'Gui is, when he flat up tells Wu Yu that's it's a nice story, but that doesn't make the story less of a lie, and he says "But none of that matters because I still love you."

It's not that Wu Yu and Jiang Ting lie. It's not that Yan Xie and Bu Chonghua accept them despite knowing it's a lie. Because it's not a lie, not really, not where it matters most. There is evidence and there is the truth that is before them, and these dumb ass cousins choose to love the truth in front of them instead. When everyone, including Wu Yu and Jiang Ting themselves told them of the Monster that they are, Yan Xie and Bu Chonghua said that maybe you are a monster, but you're not a Monster to me. I'll look head on, because I've already seen the Truth.

And listen, I'm aware this is a gay coproganda novel, but it didn't have to go so hard at being Queer. That's just rude.

[merryfortune]

The Princess’ Garden Floristry

Written for Femslash February 2023

Prompt: Garden

Title: The Princess’ Garden Floristry

Ship: Haruka/Nodoka

Fandom: Go! Princess Pretty Cure & Healin’ Good Pretty Cure

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.066

Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Meet-Cute, Childhood Friends, Reunions, Aged-Up Characters, Crushes, Developing Relationship

   There was a girl that Nodoka knew once that wanted to be a princess.

   They had only met when they were seven or eight and it wasn’t very often but occasionally, she would come to the hospital that Nodoka was staying at so she could try doing good deeds in the image of how she wanted to be. 

   As far as Nodoka was concerned, she was a princess. She denied it though. She didn’t think she was pretty enough or graceful enough but she had a very big heart. Not many children, Nodoka thought as she collected vague musings on her previous classmates, from before she got sick, would worry for those who were ill. She did, however.

   And she always brought flowers with her.

   That was Nodoka’s favourite part of the visits that this girl gave her… and the others of the ward that she belonged to. She was just so sweet and knowledgeable and passionate. As far as Nodoka’s child self was concerned, this girl knew everything and anything about flowers. What they meant in the language of flowers, how to best grow them, where they were native to. All those sorts of things.

   She always saved her favourite, roses, for last and for Nodoka, Nodoka recalled. Her heart fluttered whenever that girl gave her a smile and her spirits soared. Even if she was prone to a coughing fit or stomach pain afterwards. Not quite so romantic but that’s just the life of being chronically ill.

   “Did you know there are over thirty-thousand varieties of roses?” she told Nodoka one day.

   “Nope,” Nodoka replied, shaking her head, “that’s so many.”

   “It is.” she smiled. “There are pink ones, red ones, orange ones, ones which are more than one colour. Some are big, some are small and I love them all.”

   “I do too.” Nodoka replied, entranced by the girl and her love for all things flowers. Then she blinked. “Are there blue roses?” Nodoka asked innocently.

   Now, blue was not her favourite colour. Nor was it even this girl’s favourite colour, if Nodoka recalled correctly from how she always wore a pink dress. In fact, pink was Nodoka’s favourite colour, too but blue, she thought, had a special place in her heart.

   Feeling blue: blue was a feeling of sadness, of hopelessness and worse but it was also a colour of freedom. Whenever Nodoka recalled her last day as a well and healthy child, she thought of the green grass, the multi-coloured flowers in the park, and the huge, blue sky overhead. So blue, as deathly as it was, was still a colour she liked and having already seen parades and cavalcades of pink roses, orange roses, and other types of roses, Nodoka wanted to know. Were there blue roses as well?

   She thought, surely, if there were more than thirty-thousand kinds of roses, then it was possible that there were blue ones. Not to mention, this girl had brought pansies along before as a gift and they came in blue. Bluebells, too, and some violets were more blue than purple, too. Nodoka liked them all but with the sky in the corner of her eye, yearning to be outside in the gardens with this girl rather than bedridden, Nodoka was curious.

   “There aren’t actually.” the girl replied to Nodoka’s question.

   “Oh.” Nodoka murmured, disappointed and visibility deflating in her shoulders. She turned her head slightly, more towards the windowsill and what view that she had of the hospital’s courtyard. Sitting on her windowsill was a trio of flowers - blue, pink, and yellow - and all gifted from this girl.

   “Hey, look at me,” the girl said, gentle, excited, and Nodoka obeyed, sheepish, coughing, “I know a trick that turns roses blue. They may be artificial but I think they’re still pretty and special.”

   “Can I see this trick?” Nodoka asked.

   “A-yup,” the girl nodded her head vigorously, “let me go get a white rose and I’ll need a texta.”

   “There should be some in the kid’s playroom just down the hall.” Nodoka said, trying to be helpful.

   “I’ll only be a minute then.” the girl said.

   She was, obviously, a little longer than a minute but Nodoka held her breath in bated and it felt just as swift all the same. What the girl showed her, was a moment that Nodoka came to cherish forever and always as it was, to her child mind, sheltered and sickly, completely and utterly magical.

   The girl returned but seemingly empty-handed. She showed off the rose but not the texta that she had procured.

   “Watch closely.” She invited Nodoka to pay attention.

   Which she did, most rapt.

   The girl thrust out her hand, the stem of the rose embedded inside of her fist. The rose was white. At first. But the stronger the girl held her hand in a fist, the more that white changed to blue. It was very slow and very pale but Nodoka watched as blue threaded through the veins of the rose’s petals and it no longer remained white.

   “Tada. A blue rose, just for you.” the girl cheered.

   “Thank you, I love it.” Nodoka replied and honestly, she could have cried.

   She had never had someone go to such lengths before. Now there was another variety of rose in the world for her, just for her and the proof of it was dyed in the ink of the stains on that girl’s palms as she handed over the rose to Nodoka. She kept the rose in a glass container filled with water, on the windowsill with the previous flowers, and she would have loved to have kept it forever and ever but flowers withered away.

   So did names and faces, unfortunately. 

   But Nodoka believed that the girl had the sort of name that, once she got a hint or prompt of it, she would immediately remember it in full. It was that sort of name, she thought. Same for if she saw all the finer details of her face beyond vague recollections of greeny-blue eyes and maybe gingery-brown hair. 

   Still, it hurt Nodoka so much that she no longer recalled the name of that girl who had been such a bright spot in amongst all the invasive procedures and the slogs of days going by in pain and boredom. It felt like a desecration to all the joy that girl had sparked in Nodoka but again. That was just the phase of the world, of life. Flowers withered and people forgot. 

   After all, the girl eventually stopped visiting. Nodoka never found out why. Maybe she moved away? Maybe she stopped wanting to become a princess and thus, her good deeds fell to the wayside. Maybe her interest in flowers withered away, too.

   Nodoka hoped that it was the first option. The others… To think of them and the blur of that girl’s face which she always recalled as being sweet and smiling, it would break Nodoka’s heart. She wanted nothing but the best for that girl because she had always wished nothing but the best for Nodoka: with that big, princessly heart of hers adorned with a smile and a presence like a ray of sunshine.

   Because, in the end, years later after spending all her youth in and out of the hospital, doing school by distance education, Nodoka did get better. Her illness became more manageable. She still lived with her parents, however, and they had recently moved to downsize to somewhere with fresh air… and fresh flowers almost everywhere.

   “You should go visit this florist, I like the sound of the shop and a bouquet would liven up the house as we move in.” Her Mother suggested.

   Nodoka was handed a newspaper clipping. It read - The Princess’ Garden Floristry, grand opening - and was dated for today. The logo that was printed on it was pink and looping, festooned with roses and something about that name. It was so obvious that no wonder her Mother thought she’d like it.

   In tiny text, it had a street address and with a smile, Nodoka replied, “I’d like to go but are you sure you don’t want me to help with the move in?”

   “You're so young, you should go out and explore, catch the bus there or home, but don’t push yourself.” Her Mother diplomatically replied.

   That was her Mother’s way of being nice saying she was worried Nodoka would get hurt or tire herself out too much. Not that the exact same thing couldn’t happen if she wasn’t wandering out and about in the town that they had moved into but Nodoka smiled.

   “I’d like that, I’ll see you when I get home then.” Nodoka replied.

   Nodoka nodded her head and collected her purse. She held onto the clipping tight and kept the address in mind. It actually wasn’t that far away, it wasn’t exactly a hop, skip, and a step away but Nodoka found it easy enough. That big logo of theirs especially helpful as it was plastered over the storefront’s facade.

   Seeing it up close, it looked both gauche and amazing. Nodoka’s inner child squealed in delight at the white bricks and the ribbons and the bunches of flowers on display in the window. The decor of the building most certainly lived up to the royal decree of having such a name.

   Nodoka came inside and the bell attached to the door tinkled over head. It had such a pretty timbre. She began looking at the pre-made bouquets and there was a focus on roses. Pink ones, orange ones, red ones, and ones which were multi-coloured but a Nodoka wandered closer to the cash register, she saw a most amazing bouquet at that closest point.

   This bouquet was of white and blue roses. Artificially blue, Nodoka was willing to bet but blue nonetheless and a sky blue. Not an overwhelming blue like the ocean nor a sad blue, either, just a pretty blue.

   Nodoka’s ears pricked on the sound of footsteps as the storeperson came in from the backrooms. Nodoka turned her head and her jaw dropped. She knew that lady, about her own age though much more filled out and womanly-looking.

   And, more amazingly, the storeperson knew her.

   “Nodoka.” she gasped.

   “Haruka.” Nodoka finally, blessedly remembered.

   Haruno Haruka. A very springy and very quirky name which was exactly the sort of name that Nodoka knew she would recall instantly if she had some sort of hint and there was no hint better than the blue of Haruka’s eyes and how she smiled so sweetly.

   “It's been ages.” Haruka sheepishly said. “I-I’ve missed you, I always wondered about you.”

   “Me too.” Nodoka said and she shuffled closer to the cash register Haruka stood behind. She fidgeted and she felt rather silly for asking but she had to, “So, um, did you ever become a princess?” she asked.

   “I think so.” Haruka smiled warmly. “I made it through my ugly duckling phase and I’ve learned to dance and play violin but being a princess does not pay the rent,” she laughed, “so florist it is. What about you?”

   “I, um, am unemployed, and new in town, my parents and I moved in literally today but I would like to become a full-time student. I don’t even have to say if my health allows anymore, I’m much stronger than I was compared to back then. I still have bad days but what can you do?”

   “I’m really glad to hear that.” Haruka said. “So, let me guess, a bouquet as a housewarming gift, yes?”

   “Yes.” Nodoka replied and she could feel the stars in her eyes as she found herself falling head over heels for her long-lost childhood friend, “And I already know which bouquet I want.”

   “That’s good. Which one?” Haruka asked.

   “I would like this one, please.” Nodoka said and she pointed at the nearest bouquet of blue and white flowers.

   “I thought so.” Haruka said and she allowed Nodoka to take it off the display.

   Nodoka embraced all the flowers, the softness of the petals peeking through the plastic wrap they were in. She smiled all giddy as Haruka rang her up through the cash register.

   “Please visit any time, Nodoka.” Haruka bade her. “I would really like to see you again sometime.”

   “I will.” Nodoka replied, eagerly taking the invitation. “I want to see you more as well.”