#same with Bu Chonghua and his definition of home

[memorydragon]

Have you calmed down Mem? You haven't posted in a few days? - No, I have not. I just started my rants and realized I needed more time to rotate those particular details, so I'm sure you'll be getting more of it later. Also, I needed to pause my reread of Tun Hai because I'm not altogether sure I won't go right back to Poyun once I've finished, and I needed January to be over before I read it a third time this year.

See? I'm consuming media that makes me unhinged in an entirely normal way.

One of the reasons that these novels make me so feral though is the underlying premise of Knowing someone. Because we're all queer here and that totally makes us feral, I know.

But just, I saw someone comment about how Yan Xie accepts Jiang Ting despite the lies, and that's kind of not what's going on. Yes, Jiang Ting is a lying liar who lies. He's not even very good at saying what he wants in the relationship, Yan Xie specifically calls him on this repeatedly.

Because he's not very good at saying it, but he shows up in Yan Xie's apartment after the key was tossed at him, he drinks the 'wife tea' once the tea cake has already been rendered valueless (And I adore that Yan Xie has to break up the second one before he'd touch something so expensive. Yan Xie sees through him), he takes Yan Xie out to lunch and hangs out with him, not just for the case (though he's definitely doing that too. He's a trauma kitten that needs enclosure simulation because he will overthink everything if left alone), but because he sees that freedom and yearns for it, and that yearning turns to affection that he can't stop himself from getting near, no matter how bad an idea it is.

So yes, he's lying, but three separate people in the novel have watched him long enough to know Jiang Ting isn't who everyone says he is and who he himself thinks he is. Yan Xie watched as Jiang Ting raised the gun to his own forehead when Jin Jie triggered him and he knew that Jiang Ting couldn't have pulled the trigger against rivet. Han Xiaomei knew there was something wrong because she might be just an intern but she's not stupid, but she saw that Jiang Ting would kill without blinking an eye and she also knew he kept her hidden intentionally to protect her. Ma Xiang listens to Jiang Ting say yes, he is the most suspicious of everyone, but chooses to ignore all that and trust him anyway because he sees how broken Jiang Ting is while Yan Xie is in the operating room. Jiang Ting is essentially the open secret of the whole sub-bureau and this is not because Yan Xie is besotted with him, but because they've all judged his actions and decided against all reason that he's not the mole.

Of course they know he's lying about his past. They saw the him of now and decided what was known wasn't nearly as relevant as the evidence of who Jiang Ting is before them.

When Yan Xie says 'Why are you always so dishonest about your feelings?" When he says "Why do you always choose the wrong people to protect you?" When he says "Why don't you trust me to still love you?" He knows. He knows Jiang Ting. He knows the past is important and that it matters, but none of the past will ever change the fact that he's in love with Jiang Ting now - in the person who Jiang Ting is to him. Because that person who Jiang Ting is, who he sees, isn't wrong.

When Jiang Ting asks "Do you still trust me?" after Yan Xie has finally uncovered everything, and Yan Xie responds with a shrug and "What do you think?" Jiang Ting has to hastily cut him off, saying "It's better that you don't." Because he's half-afraid of the answer Yan Xie will give when he has to betray him and point a gun at his head and it has to be believable or they'd both be dead.

Yan Xie has already deleted the one picture from his phone album that he couldn't get rid of. He's already had his heart broken. He doesn't even realize when he's started crying when Jiang Ting kisses him and points the gun at him. But he still never denies it. Even when he can't fully believe in the hope that's being dangled before him, because Yang Mei is the one who saved him and that had to be planned, he still goes to Chief Lu and asks. He still says 'it was too fast and I didn't see clearly' despite Jiang Ting shooting ten people in front of him.

He still goes home and sees Jiang Ting everywhere in their apartment. And when he finally, finally finds evidence that Chief Lu was the one lying this time, he bluffs his way to finding out the truth about Jiang Ting being undercover without a second thought. Because despite everything, he loves the person Jiang Ting is.

Tun Hai goes a step further, and there's a reason I go ride or die so fast in that novel. Because Bu Chonghua is wrong about so many things. Like, I genuinely love how off he is on the mark of his analysis of Wu Yu, while still being 100% right about seeing through him. When he falls in love with Wu Yu, he falls hard, and all of his assumptions get turned on their head in the end, but that doesn't matter to him. What matters is Wu Yu in front of him that he's fallen in love with. That this is the person he's been chasing after for twenty years, without even knowing who he was. When he raced back to the martyr's cemetery because he bet that he knew Wu Yu, despite everything and that he couldn't be wrong because he knew the person he had fallen in love with. And Wu Yu isn't there, he nearly turns back, but then he sees Wu Yu is just a little later than him and he won his bet despite everything.

Wu Yu is terrified of Bu Chonghua's ability to see through him. He knows it's only a matter of time and he's set to disappear entirely, he's already known. Jiang Ting pulls him back, helping him hide and letting him stay a little longer (and I am So Normal about this, fuck, Jiang Ting this isn't even your novel and I'm feral), but it's already too late. When Bu Chonghua asks who a'Gui is, when he flat up tells Wu Yu that's it's a nice story, but that doesn't make the story less of a lie, and he says "But none of that matters because I still love you."

It's not that Wu Yu and Jiang Ting lie. It's not that Yan Xie and Bu Chonghua accept them despite knowing it's a lie. Because it's not a lie, not really, not where it matters most. There is evidence and there is the truth that is before them, and these dumb ass cousins choose to love the truth in front of them instead. When everyone, including Wu Yu and Jiang Ting themselves told them of the Monster that they are, Yan Xie and Bu Chonghua said that maybe you are a monster, but you're not a Monster to me. I'll look head on, because I've already seen the Truth.

And listen, I'm aware this is a gay coproganda novel, but it didn't have to go so hard at being Queer. That's just rude.

[foxghost]

This/last week’s read: Po Yun, Breaking Through the Clouds 1 & 2

All 1.6 million words. Po Yun (Breaking Through the Clouds) and Po Yun 2 (Swallowing the sea), by Huai Shang (817k) On jjwxc. I started reading them because I missed SCI, but Po Yun is a much more serious book with serious plot twists and no hypnosis/split personalities/genetic modification magic. Oh, and more whump. I mean these characters are basically hurt all the time. Constantly. A bonus: all your main characters are in their 30’s.

There’s a summary on novelupdates, but I’m going to give you an alternative summary:

International drug-trafficker King of Spades and the Gongzhou Police Organised Crime/drug trafficking division chief Jiang Ting were once childhood friends and are now caught in a game of cops and robbers cat and mouse and their love story ends in inevitable BE …

Okay, it’s not that, go get the actual summary from NU that ends in a nobody (bad) dies HE ending between Jiang Ting and Yan Xie.

(Rambling that is as spoiler-free as possible after cut, but to summarise, I’d give Po Yun 1 a 7/10 and Po Yun 2 a 10/10 recommended with some caveats for plot holes and warning for graphic descriptions of violence and gore)

Po Yun1: If this book was actually about the first story, 10/10, a very well-told tragedy that ends in a near perfect circle. As is, I’m not sure how to feel because it just felt so much like it should end in 雙愛雙殺 / “mutual love, mutual killing”, that even though it has told me it’s HE since the beginning it doesn’t feel right. Despite Jiang Ting’s insistence that he never loved SpadesK, he did … in the before times, and considering how much he hated him afterwards, he loved him a lot. I think most what made this book less enjoyable for me though is Yan Xie, who is basically your definition of male chauvinist (his nickname in the book is literally “straight man cancer”), and he touched the one squick I have … terrible personal hygiene.

Point form entirely unorganised thoughts (吐槽) :V below, mostly of my very twisted opinion, you’ve been warned

Every time I heard about Yan Xie’s “male hormones” smell I gagged a little because I’m pretty sure he stinks

No, wait, I don’t have to be pretty sure. The first time he lent his jacket to Jiang Ting he had to cover his nose and ask “when was the last time you did the laundry”

also, “wash your feet first thing when you get home or I really will avoid you” omg

Yan Xie: do I look like i have time to change my clothes <- in 3 days

why do you even like him the only thing good about him is that he loves you a lot

most of the words that come out of his mouth (especially towards women) are toxic and just THE WORST

Literally no woman in the novel is surprised that he’s tall, handsome, rich, and is single in his 30’s

his mother: now that he’s this age all I ask is that he chooses someone younger than me

anyway that’s enough about Yan Xie I just had to tell someone after Jiang Ting (whom I love) chose to end up with makes face and points THAT

Meanwhile, the King of Spades is basically a more twisted Asami Ryuichi and how can I not love that fictionally

the king of spades gets a theme song (Young and Beautiful) and childhood episode with MC

Excuse me I have feels about the villain and the MC/villain ship way more than the canon ship orz

Half the plot is about antag trying to turn back time emotionally to see if things between Jiang Ting and himself could have turned out in any way differently

“all i wanted in his life was for you to kill me and then we die together” trope

He is well-dressed, cultured, polite, and utterly off his rocker, kills without blinking, but you know something

He leaves the torturing to Jiang Ting because he’s �� probably better at it

Jiang Ting will pull off your fingernails and give you the death of 3000 cuts without batting an eyelash

I love Jiang Ting a regular amount

as mentions of Yan Xie’s lack of hygiene grew less frequent I admit he grew on me (and I guess I want a happy ending for Jiang Ting since he’s suffered enough) but only right up until Yan Xie SPEAKS AGAIN

on the mystery/drama/cases front, it’s good …

too much of the plotting of how convoluted the crimes are hinged on “antag is crazy you can’t explain the motivation of the crazy”

There are plenty of surprises, lots of side characters to get attached to, and come to think of it it’s the kind of happy ending that’s really 地道, nobody (on the good guy side) dies.

Onto Po Yun 2:

MC (Wu Yu) is a contradiction of a killer cinnamon bun (do we still say that? why don’t we still say that?) anyway he can go from polite and sweet and courteous and shy about speaking in public to killer hawk jumping out of the 8th floor window using obstacles to slow his descent to stab target in the throat in 5 seconds flat

Code name “The Painter”, as in “Painted Skin”, cross-border master undercover cop, but he’s pretty to the point of standing out (this is used as a plot point later)

ML (Bu Chonghua, everytime I see his name 蔥花 “chopped green onions” floats across my brain) seems pretty normal at first glance, but he’s “living for vengeance”

MC and ML have childhood background story while MC and villain does not (thank you)

the cases are all related, and they make sense for the most part

MC’s backstory and the final reveal is a bit of a stretch and the writer knows it (and apologises)

But overall, very well plotted cases that takes its time unwinding and doesn’t get explained all at once.

however, some tropes recycled wholesale from book 1 meant that they did not fool me for a single second.

WHUMP and lots of hurt, not so much comfort. These people are wounded so often they really shouldn’t be walking around

I literally can’t tell you anything without giving half the story away, so I won’t — I’m just going to say “read it you won’t regret it”

2 is a better book than 1. Both use the same kind of ship dynamic — MC is evasive and hiding something, ML is full of love but know not to trust entirely because MC is evasive, eventually MC come to realise that “even if I’m evil this man will love me anyway” and then happily ever after. Whether the resulting relationship is healthy is … up for debate, but I’m here for all the car chases / explosions / jumping off buildings / dealing with life and death situations / nearly dying every chapter or two. Come for excitement, nobody dies, and happy wedding endings … ignore the plot holes and inconsistencies.

If Huai Shnag writes a third installment — likely, some ppl are left alive for reasons — I will drop all the points on them. This was totally worth my time. If you buy the jjwxc version, go hunt down the uncensored chapters, there is one smut scene each that got cut.