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opbackgrounds · 3 days ago

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The Romanticism of One Piece III: Emotionality and the Absurd

AO3 Part I Part II Part IV

“Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings?” —Charlotte Brontë

After opening with Roger��s death in chapter one, the perspective of the manga immediately switches to focus on our main protagonist, whose first action we see is of him stabbing himself in the face in order to look cool. The introductory panel of Luffy is one of childish, absurd determination. His mouth alone takes up over half his face. It looks a bit silly, and after patching him up, Shanks just…laughs.

The Romantics, on the whole, were not silly people, but they were bursting at the seams with emotion. If you read a Romantic novel expect the characters to spend a great deal of time soliloquizing about their feelings. If you look at a Romantic painting expect bold colors and dynamism composition. If you listen to a Romantic musician expect songs that are passionate and full of energy, unrestrained from traditional forms. In a word, these people were extra. Specifically, the Romantics embraced the full spectrum of human emotion, from the depths of despair in a work like the Sorrows of Young Werther to the heights depicted within the essays of the American transcendentalism movement.

This heightened emotionalism of the Romantics always trumped over what was realistic or scientific. For example, look at a work like Jane Eyre. While melodramatic, it’s a work that ostensibly takes place in the real world. Yet the most emotionally-charged moments introduce supernatural elements, including reuniting the main couple at the end when Jane randomly hears Mr. Rochester speak her name on the wind from halfway across the country.

And by random, I truly do mean random. It’s difficult to put into words how out of left field this is for the reader. There are only a few pages left in the book, and by this time the main couple has spent more time apart than together and had no reason to believe they’d ever be reunited. But their love becomes a literal supernatural force strong enough for Jane to rush after him without hesitation, and they live happily ever after.

(Please, I beg of you to watch the last 10 minutes of this movie. It was one of the most unintentionally hilarious experiences of my life).

It’s an extreme and slightly goofy example, but what is One Piece if not extreme and slightly goofy? It’s a story that, at its most fundamental level, makes you feel. We all know the pain of crying over a boat, and what makes the death of the Merry, along with any other number of things that should be stupid but aren’t, is Oda’s commitment to sincerity. Emotional truth trumps logic, always. It’s why we celebrate characters like Bellmere who can’t not call herself a mother, even if it costs her her life. The bond of found family is more powerful than the logical choice of denouncing Nami and Nojiko. Oda had other characters try to inject logic into Bellmere’s decision after the fact, but there’s no evidence from Bellemere herself that she was behaving logically, and we love her for it.

The artstyle itself emphasizes emotional truth over realism. Oda is more than capable of drawing in a more realistic or traditionally “cool” style if he wanted to, but it would be to the detriment of the story he’s trying to tell. Every smile takes up half a character’s face. People who are crying are portrayed as sniveling wrecks. Their fury becomes palpable, their hopelessness gut-wrenching, their joy contagious. Oda chose very early on not to give Luffy thought bubbles, and in the absence of knowing what he’s thinking, it was absolutely imperative that the audience knew what he’s feeling. The few times his expression becomes ambiguous immediately stand out and lend a scene a sense of weight that borders on unease.

This expressiveness doesn’t stop with the character designs. Oda will tweak perspective to make important people or places seem even larger than they really are. Buildings will follow Loony Toons logic if a gag calls for it. Locations and ships, particularly once the crew reaches the Grand Line, become absurd and impossible.

(Remember, Hancock and Mihawk are both only a little over six foot tall)

But for One Piece, it’s in this absurdity that the impossible becomes possible, through sheer force of will. Luffy is on every level ridiculous, but it’s because he’s ridiculous that he choses at every turn to keep fighting against forces that by all rights should be impossible to defeat. Many of Luffy’s most despicable enemies are the ones who in some way or another have taken away other people’s ability to feel as they wish. Arlong took away Nami’s happiness and made her cry. Crocodile stole Vivi’s ability to smile. The zombies of Thriller Bark are reduced to mindless slaves while the toys under Doflamingo’s rule are physically unable to emote. And perhaps most powerfully of all, the people of Wano and the slaves of the Celestial Dragons are both forced to smile despite their horrific circumstances, a bastardization of the joy Luffy brings no matter where he goes.

In his prelude to the Lyrical Ballads, William Wordsworth wrote that, “All good poetry is the overflow of powerful emotion”. He linked emotion to motion, or action, with the catalist between the two being the creative power of imagination. While many of Luffy’s fights are ultimately won because he’s able to punch another person real good, the seemingly limited ability of the gum-gum fruit forces him to come up with increasingly-creative ways in which one can stretch, until he’s able to stretch the fabric of reality itself to bend to his whims. It is said, in all the world, that there is no power more ridiculous.

At the end of chapter 218 a galleon falls from the sky, and Oda quotes fictional physicist Willy Karen as stating, “Anything man can imagine is a possibility in reality.” It is through the power of imagination and absurdity that Luffy fights against the forces of oppression. There is nothing more dangerous to an institution than losing its credibility, and nothing so dangerous to one’s credibility than the power of mockery. If one can face the darkest, most difficult times and still laugh then, well, they become a little less dark and difficult. By laughing, and helping others to do the same, it becomes easier to make it through another day. It’s important, I think, that Oda has emphasized the act of laughing so much, drawing attention to it by virtue of giving out unique laughs all throughout the series.

One Piece has the reputation of being the silly pirate manga. This isn’t untrue, but it does a disservice to the breadth of feeling the series inspires. As I said, we’ve all cried over a boat. Slavery, oppression, and every sort of hardship exist within the One Piece world just as much as it does our own.

Oda’s answer is to combat these things with the silly and the absurd, by being creative and imaginative while pursuing one’s passions with one’s whole heart, no matter where those passions may lead. He tells the reader you have the right to feel as you wish and pursue joy wherever you may. And when you run up against resistance, you fight like hell for what you believe in.

And as it turns out, that’s a Romantic virtue, too.

#opbackgrounds #one piece #the romanticism of one piece #romanticism

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golvio · 11 hours ago

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Finally got around to seeing all of Apotheosis’ new endings, and I’m still sitting with it days later.

OG Apotheosis was among the bottom of my Princess ranking list since I guess I’m not into the whole Domination bit as some other prople, though I figured there was more to her based on what was already there. However, I wasn’t ready to have my suspicions confirmed in such a viscerally upsetting way in the Paranoid version of the “make her feel what you felt” ending. Like…as initially satisfying as finally forcing her to stop hurting you felt, it stopped feeling like a victory when you actually saw what you’d done to her. You stop feeling like a helpless victim when you understand just how hollow she’d felt inside despite her boasts and your perception of her as untouchable and unstoppable helped reinforce this armor she’d built around herself.

She may have cruelly lorded over you to compensate for her own feelings of helplessness back when she was at your mercy, but you were the one who gave up and ceded all control to her in the first place. Your relationship is a conversation, not a one-sided Pygmalian molding of an empty blank slate, and the two of you built that abusive relationship and unbalanced power dynamic together. On one hand, the prison of your own mind within the role you assigned yourself is far harder to escape than any physical jail and can operate even in her absence, to the point where acting against its oppressive rules seems so impossible that it feels like “madness.” On the other hand, no one is actually keeping you there but you.

This ending and Fury’s “pacifist” ending feel like funhouse mirror reflections of each other—each hurts the other to try to force them to understand the harm they’ve caused and get an apology, but by hurting each other they diminish each other, by hurting each other they hurt themselves. Becoming the warden of the jail where you’re also held prisoner can only give you the illusion of control and freedom, at best. Any “victory” in such a power struggle, no matter how initially triumphant, is ultimately a Pyrrhic one.

And then there’s the “Grace” ending. As much as she’d hurt you, in her last moments, instead of selfishly clutching you to herself tighter for comfort, she hurls you towards the exit, giving you a single chance for a mad, impossible dash towards freedom. She didn’t have to do that, and ultimately there was no point in doing that because the hole she opened sealed itself back up before you could reach it, but she still did it. Despite her embracing her role as unstoppable, untouchable goddess to flee from the memory of her original weak, vulnerable self, deep down she didn’t actually want to hurt you. She missed you and wanted to be with you again, but since all she knew was domination and subjugation, she only knew how to express that through trying to paternalistically control you. When the chips were down and she was being reassimilated into the Cosmic Spaghetti of Shifty’s incomplete form, she finally relinquished control and was able to express her true feelings selflessly.

That…gave me some very conflicting feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I love when finding out more about characters I initially disliked makes me feel all conflicted. It’s just…a lot. Woof.

There’s also this theme of being “trapped inside yourself,” in this case literally when it comes to two fragments of gods living out an allegory for their own imprisonment. It may be true that the Vessels are only incomplete pieces of The Shifting Mound who weren’t meant to function on their own, but Shifty herself is so vast and all-encompassing that each of her pieces is complex enough to be a functioning individual in her own right, which is especially true of the Chapter 3+ Princesses, who’ve developed so much from their experiences that they feel much more like “real,” multifaceted people. If you find Tower/Apotheosis first, then reach Shifty’s heart, the Princess you find there is the version of the Heart that feels most like she’s her own person separate from Shifty, and rejects Shifty’s idea of godhood. Her rejection of “labels” after her being constrained by Shifty’s parameters feels a lot more meaningful as a result.

On top of that…now you understand what it feels to be trapped inside of a “bigger, more Important” version of yourself. If The Long Quiet is you, then your godly meta-body is also the prison that’s keeping both the conscious, individual, mortal You trapped along with the Princess. It’s not like you can just get up and leave because you have no conscious control over this part of yourself. And when you do wake up, you risk losing yourself as you are now to integrate into that greater whole. Is that really worth it, or is there another way that doesn’t require giving up your individual existence? It’s like the flipside of The Empty Cup, too, in terms of foreshadowing the possible “Third Way” you can escape without embracing godhood and staying trapped within yourself, within the role you built up for yourself.

#long post #slay the princess #slay the princess spoilers #stp spoilers #the apotheosis #the long quiet #the shifting mound

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biblioflyer · 2 days ago

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I agree with the take on Von Franz but the implication that its the failure of the characters to come together I kinda disagree with. Nosferatu (2024) is not Dracula. It casts doubt on our assumptions about whether the traditional tricks for dealing with a vampire will actually work or not. They're on the clock and grasping at straws with Orlok having very credibly demonstrated he's going to kill all of them that night and there's probably not a lot the fellas can do to stop him, but Ellen does have the one thing that can maybe interrupt him: herself.

The power dynamics are different. Dracula is on the backfoot and having to flee because he dragged out his mindgames too much for the drama of it all. Orlok is on mission. He's willing to give Ellen time to agree but the suffering he inflicts is coercive rather than because he's a messy supervillain who loves the drama, so he just doesn't give the Nosferatu Scoobies time to put together a better plan.

The structure of the problem is arranged so that the boys simply can't do better because they don't have the time. They're mostly just running around playing monster hunter with a thimble full of knowledge and a fair amount of the sort of masculine confidence that makes a fella think he could fight a bear.

Ellen's the final girl who has to take the monster out at the cost of her own life. In keeping with the occultism of it all, I think its meant to be a bit Christlike in that she chooses the hard path of self sacrifice to save everyone else (although unlike other vampire media, just one look at Orlok and you can tell the "gift" of eternal life is almost exclusively curse and very little of it elegantly brooding in compound interest funded mansions.) But I think perhaps there's also a bit of an effort at reclaiming human sacrifice narratives to provide an alternative to the framing in which women without agency are used to appease a monster and instead suggest in some instances they may be people who are venerated, understand the gravity of the situation, and make a choice for the greater good.

I like that Nosferatu is trying to do its own thing. Its not a pretty ending and that grit doesn't make it better than Dracula, just different. The power of friendship ideal is good, potent, and praiseworthy. So is that of a woman choosing to use her various aspects: her agency, sexuality, and clairvoyance; aspects that society tries to police and malign, to save the world, or at least that town.

I think a fundamental difference between book Dracula and Nosferatu is how the protagonists work as a collective. In Dracula, they are the Scooby Gang (trusting, collaborative, polyamorous). In Nosferatu, they are the teens from an 80s slasher (suspicious, deceitful, jealous). The count can be defeated, but only the power of friendship can save Mina.

#nosferatu 2024 #nosferatu spoilers

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mandydontknow · 2 days ago

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Thinking about how it makes no narrative sense to have Will confess romantic feelings and then Mike flat out say “I’m not gay, man.”

Yes, this happens in real life, but what would this accomplish for the show? When would it happen?

All it would do is change (and likely ruin) the dynamic of their relationship for the remainder of the show. You could argue they could have a “RobinXSteve” confession —but Steve’s tender moment with Robin is different because he thought he liked Robin and didn’t know she was gay. Will would be risking more than Steve or Robin. And nobody wants Mike and Will’s friendship walking on eggshells for the wrong reasons.

There are a few other possibilities:

1. Will’s romantic feelings for Mike magically resolve themself, despite spending all of his time with Mike. Therefore never feeling the need for a confession. Alt. A non-existent new love interest appears

2. He never comes out to Mike particularly, or if he does, does not express his feelings. In this scenario Mike might end up with Eleven. However, Mike ending up with Eleven is contradictory to a focal point of the show where Eleven grows into herself and her identity as a human, rather than an experiment. Mike still sees her as the “superhero” that landed on his doorstep that needs him to protect her from the bad. While the show has kind of played itself off as almost anti-will the past two seasons, it really has been rooting for him. The first two seasons were about saving him. So an ending where he is “trapped” in his childhood with his trauma behind the closet would not be satisfying to the audience for a core character. This is a coming of age show at the heart. Not The Tragedy of Will Byers.

3. Um, Mike dies. I’ve seen this one. It’s possible ig but it’s highly unlikely.

4. Slow-burn MikeXWill romance throughout the season in the different ways people have been predicting. Which at this point it would take a lot to convince me is not going to happen.

5. Will realizes his feelings for Mike are him romanticizing his memories of a time before he went missing.

#byler #byler is canon #stranger things #byler brainrot #byler s5 #mike x will #mike wheeler #byler nation #byler endgame

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thunderandsage · 7 hours ago

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pre-arcane caitvi: or fuck, why i am voluntarily reading league of legends lore

so there’s been a lot of effort to preserve a lot of viktor and jayce’s old stories, bios and dynamics, but not so much for the other characters??? i don’t play league, but i still feel it’s cool to look at older versions of these characters as an “alternate universe” kind of thing

so, here they are for Caitlyn and Vi (all info from the official league of legends website):

Caitlyn Kiramman

top: LoL Caitlyn, bottom: Arcane Caitlyn

“To be the best hunter, you have to be able to think like your prey.”

Renowned as its finest peacekeeper, Caitlyn Kiramman is also Piltover’s best shot at ridding the city of its elusive criminal elements. She is often paired with Vi, acting as a cool counterpoint to her partner’s more impetuous nature. Even though she carries a one-of-a-kind hextech rifle, Caitlyn’s most powerful weapon is her superior intellect, allowing her to lay elaborate traps for any lawbreakers foolish enough to operate in the City of Progress.

Bio

Short story “The Thrill of the Chase”

my notes:

very different from arcane caitlyn, what with supportive (and both alive) parents, and especially this line:

“Her mother […] would always warn Caitlyn of Piltover’s seductions, and its gilded promises that could harden the kindest heart”

so it’s a caitlyn who is also focused on keeping piltover in line—could be an interesting avenue to explore with post-canon arcane fics?

definitely a happier timeline for her

top: LoL Vi, bottom: Arcane Vi

“We can either do this the hard way or… Oh wait, no. There's just the hard way.”

Raised on the mean streets of Zaun, Vi is a hotheaded, impulsive, and fearsome woman with very little respect for authority. She has always been a shrewd survivor, both from her youthful troublemaking topside and an unfairly long stint in Stillwater Hold. Now working with the Piltover Enforcers to keep the peace instead of breaking it, she wields mighty hextech gauntlets that can punch through walls—and criminals—with equal ease.

Bio

Short story “Interrogation 101”

my notes:

so this backstory seems to line up more with arcane vi, but then comes the line in the short story:

“as if he was talking to the old Vi, the Vi from the Lanes. He wasn’t bright enough to know that Vi wasn’t the one standing in front of him”

so what i’m getting is this idea of a vi who’s divorced herself from the undercity, in a way arcane vi’s hasn’t?

and i have… conflicted feelings about this, since arcane vi is shown to be very caring and protective in contrast to this iteration—like the closest she is to the original also coincides with her being depressed, while lol vi just overall… doesn’t seem to care

(but at least being hella gay for cait is a constant across universes)

(also who isn’t to say we can’t dig into the tragedy of a vi who’s lost her connection to home?)

Bonus - screenshots of the bios if you want to stay on tumbr

Caitlyn

Also the art that inspired this whole thread of thought:

#arcane #league of legends #vi arcane #vi league of legends #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn league of legends #caitvi #piltover's finest

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fazedlight · 23 hours ago

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Gender doesn't matter. Love is love. Sex is sex. I don't think you can put Agatha in a box. Of course she is [queer]. Of course she loves everyone. She’s attracted to who she’s attracted to. And of course, she would never define herself as one or the other - Kathryn Hahn on Agatha Harkness

I think she's a person who loves so much, and I do think that it goes beyond gender, and I think that's a common theme in Oz - Ariana Grande on Glinda Upland

I grew up without any explicitly bi representation. "Bisexual" as a word wasn't even in mainstream usage when I was watching Xena, and even as it entered mainstream it was discouraged on TV as something people weren't "ready" for (as with Willow on Buffy, though I didn't watch that until later).

It wasn't until I was in college that I started seeing bisexuality on TV. It felt like the floodgates were opening - Thirteen (from House), Callie Torres (from Grey's Anatomy), and Angela Montenegro (from Bones) all came out as bi around that time.

The characters still weren't me - I wouldn't call any of them butch, for one. But to see bisexuals, including a queer latina who had some family dynamics similar to my own, it was astonishing!

It... feels like we haven't progressed enough in the years since, honestly. There was a hopefulness then, and yet Xena is still groundbreaking sapphic representation, unsurpassed by the present.

But it does feel really fucking good to see actresses like the ones above talking openly about the bisexuality of their characters - characters who are leads in mainstream media franchises!

That means something to me.

#I have other thoughts on biphobia in fandom spaces but maybe that'll be for some other time #for now I am celebrating #(I ID as bi/pan and use both interchangeably. Albeit I prefer the bi flag colors. Just FYI 😂)#bisexuality #pansexuality #queer #sapphic #biphobia #glinda upland #wicked #agatha harkness #agatha all along #callie torres #grey's anatomy #thirteen #house md #angela montenegro #bones tv #mel stuff

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glassgulls · 1 day ago

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OK! So now I've read and digested the chapter I just wanted to point out some things that made me cry and scream.

Amy was shaking in the bathroom, unable to control the emotions that were flooding her. She couldn’t face the mirror and turned away, feeling the tears begin to fall. They had been relentless the last six weeks. And after she had been faced with three positive pregnancy tests and then been pushed away again by Lucas, that huge, gaping hole in her gut had grown exponentially. It was overpowering her now, rendering her broken.

I love how visceral you are able to convey characters feelings, the sheer panic and despair that Amy must feel mixed with the joy I can't even imagine what that would do to you mental and physically. Especially with the heightened emotion of hormones in the mix. I can feel the empty feeling in her gut, that feeling of rejection from the one person you had that finally saw you as you and accepted everything the good and bad. Then to have that ripped away from you, to have the one person walk away seemingly not wanting to fight for you? And when you are at your most vulnerable? I would just fall apart then and there.

Even her dreams reflected her deep longing for him, and the emptiness that was dragging her down, pulling her into a black sea of nothingness. Upon waking she would remember shards of her dreams in which she was calling for him, crying out, begging. And when she woke, she would feel tears clinging to her cheeks.

Even in dreams the torment Amy feels is so heartbreaking. You always feel like when you sleep you're finally able to retreat from the world and your pain. I feel I'm there with her, lying there feeling like my world is being swept away. The description of the black sea of emptiness dragging her down hit me so much and her remembering that she was calling out to Lucas, crying and begging him but there's only that void. I honestly just want to hug her, Amy seems to think that she's not strong but to go through that, to feel that complete heartache but keep going she's so resilient. The sense of building pressure of despair you craft with Amy's thoughts and feelings both emotional and physical are so perfect. Ugh my heart just bleeds for her so much I want to just hold her hand and comfort her. I hope one day I can create such a real and relatable character like with Amy.

A tightness was growing in Amy’s chest now, that sensation which had been a friend of hers since Lucas left her life. She woke up with it every morning now, sometimes accompanied with a tension headache and a sense of dread at facing a new day.

The way you describe that feeling of dread at facing a new day was such a gut punch to me. I think we all can admit to ourselves that we have felt like that. I love the description of that tightness in her chest, again you build the sense of anxiousness, that stress and pressure that's simmering in her. Uuuuugh it's so beautifully angsty!

“I know, and I’ve told him that. By your parents and Lucas protecting you, they’re suffocating you. We’ve all got to make our own way in life sooner or later. I’ve made enough of my own choices in life, some good and some bad. I know full well that this job comes with risk to those you love. I lost someone I loved through it.”

This, this right here is why we all need a Ros. I absolutely LOVE her dynamic with Amy. She's the only one who actually makes Amy decide what AMY wants to do. To encourage Amy to make her own decisions, to give her advice but not pressure Amy one way or another. Sharing that wisdom Ros has learned about the job and life that comes with it but be realistic, not sugar coat or doom say it. I think with Ros gentle guidance Amy can finally see herself as the world does a powerful and capable woman.

Then Amy heard it: the first actual sound of her baby’s heartbeat. Amy smiled, staring at the screen, looking at the moving mass. Sharon held Amy’s hand, watching her daughter’s face as it lit up for the first time in six weeks since being home in Coventry.

I love the perspective of Sharon here, holding her daughters hand and seeing her come back to life again hearing the baby's heartbeat. I can see the way Amy is looking in my head with the way you describe it there's always such cinematic quality to it. I can see it on the screen so clearly. I can see Amy's first smile in weeks as she looks at the screen, that little bit of hope in Amy with that smile.

Would Lucas want to know the sex of their child? He should have been here, but Amy couldn’t stand the idea of him being half in and half out, having to see him at scans but not being able to go home with him. Everything at the moment was a mixture of emotion, and it was confusing. One minute she was sad, the next angry. The grief of an ended relationship, and the anger of Lucas making the decision he had, alternated frequently, like a whirlwind.

In the car and Amy sat in the passenger seat, her thumb trailing the curve of the baby’s head. “Should I send a copy to Lucas?” she asked absently.

“I still think it’s best he has no part in this,” Sharon hissed. “We’ll all pull together as a family, we always do.”

Ok I think this is such a brilliant mix of emotion! The way you convey such realness at the confusion at excitement and mourning. The frustration that the decision had been made for Amy yet again without her say so. Sharon's lack of understanding of what Amy actually wants. And I do love that Sharon's attitude, even though it could be perceived as meanness, it's purely done out of love and wanting to protect her child and grandchild. It's done out of what Sharon thinks will keep Amy and the baby safe. But it's at this point we can see that Amy isn't a child anymore. Yes Amy might want advice but Amy needs to spread her own wings and at some point just like Amy is now you start to create your own little family outside of the parental unit. I think Sharon is brilliant complex character, she's not this villain trying to intentionally hurt Amy by keeping her apart from Lucas but this desperate mother fighting off any potential threat of harm.

Over a hundred miles away, in London, Lucas sat at the dining room table. He stared at the wall, the lifeless atmosphere of the place seeping into every fibre of his being. Three and a half months now he had lived by himself, haunted by Amy. Every inch of the place reminded him of her. After all, it was her flat originally. Living with her had been bliss; he would kiss her on his way out of the door, or at the main door to their office as they travelled in, pining for the end of the day when he would see her again.

I know I keep saying this but I love the way you can describe a scene so clearly without overselling it. I can see Lucas sitting there bleakly in that flat the colour of life drained out of him with the contrast to him reliving his life filled in memory with light. You've created this atmosphere of him sitting here alone feels so cold and devoid of any warmth.

He thought of Amy, imagining her sitting in the garden, holding a baby on her lap, reading her old battered copy of The Hobbit, with a warm sun high in the sky. He had given her the ultimate gift, the one thing she had wanted for a while now, but he couldn’t enjoy it with her. Lucas knew she would be an amazing mother; doting, kind, eager to play and re-live her own childhood through their little one.

I see the little nod with the book madam! It's so heartbreaking to see the process of him totally breaking down and giving up. To see him torment himself with the life that he's always wanted but feels he's not allowed.

Work seemed to be the only thing that got Lucas through each day, making him soldier on in this empty existence. It felt like being back in prison. Rather than being locked in a cell, he was locked in loneliness within his own mind. Memories of Amy were all around him. Would he ever be able to let go? The more he pondered on that fact, the more he knew the answer. The years Lucas had spent with Elizabeta had revolved around their work as operatives, and upon his return to the UK from Russia, their temporary ties were still work-based, her being his handler. The months with Sarah were, again, work-based. Everything revolved around MI5. Amy was so different. Their relationship had been built away from work, despite work being the thing that was constantly pushing them toward breaking point. Their love for each other was almost innocent, pure. It didn’t revolve around necessity.

Again this was so wonderfully descriptive of Lucas's life being so cold and grey without Amy. Going through the motions of routine to get through the day. It's so heartrending to see him turn in on himself, it's interesting to see how the way his past relationships contrast so sharply with his and Amy's. I love the way you let us see underneath Lucas's MI5 mask. For us to see him compare and coming to realise what it was that he actually wanted in a relationship. That with Amy she saw him as the man outside of MI5. That all she wanted was him the man, not what she could get out of him with MI5 and had no ulterior motives.

Lucas even made himself feel the pain of showers, turning on the fast jet of water so he could be taken back to his days of torture in Lushanka. Re-live the waterboarding, where ice cold water was thrown over him as he begged for mercy and tried desperately to hold onto the information the Russians so badly wanted. He deserved the pain and the anguish. Beneath the water he shivered and wept, waiting and wishing for everything to end. Then maybe upon his deathbed, he could at least see her one last time in his moments of euphoria.

That night and he sat on the edge of the bed, downing whiskey from the bottle. He rubbed his stubbled chin and stared aimlessly through the gloom.

Tears trickled down Lucas’ cheek as he picked up his phone, and for the first time in months, he sent a single message to Amy. The alcohol had worn his inhibitions right down.

I love you.

Ok this section was so utterly bleak and my heart was bleeding for Lucas. Him showering to essentially self harm was so gut wrenching. You delivered his complete falling apart with such a brilliant punch. There's no heavy handedness and brash it's a deliberate careful trickle to this crescendo of how far he has fallen into despair to the image of him sitting on the bed drunk and at the end of his tether. The ultimate broken man, with the only thing in his head to just reach out to Amy. Those three words are so simple but they packed such a kick it was brilliantly written.

A short time later and Amy was staring at a letter she had left on her parents’ dining table. She had explained that she needed to go back to London and was taking the next available train out to London Euston. Amy knew her parents would go absolutely ballistic, especially her mum. But there was no way she could let Lucas remain alone and suffer.

He deserved peace; after all, he put his life on the line daily to protect the UK public. Of course he deserved some peace. She wanted to embrace him, comfort him, just be there and hold him during his dark hours.

This was such a huge turning point for me seeing Amy's character development. Amy taking that stand to do what she thought was the right thing to do by her family. That fear of what her Mum would say but still taking that brave plunge to be there for Lucas. And the way you are able to show Amy's pure love for Lucas. To reinforce the fact that Amy just wants to see him safe, to see him happy. Before we have seen Lucas taking charge or the relationship and being the protector but Amy does it with quiet grace and strength it's beautiful.

It was her original flat keys; two of them held together on a ring. One got her through the front door into the lobby area, and the other got her into the flat itself. Why had she kept them all this time? Was it because she always knew she would one day be going back?

HELLO FATE! Showing up and giving a little nudge!

For a second, she placed her hand on her bump and smiled.

We’re going to see your daddy.

I was smiling ear to ear at this bit, head in hands grinning like a big idiot cheering Amy on.

The last time she had been in London and it had been cold, but now it was mild, a sure sign of spring. It was just after six in the evening when she made it to her old building and looked at the familiar sight. Sadness rose in her chest and she thought back on the day she had moved in, nervous at the prospect of a new beginning. Now she had another new beginning on the horizon, one that involved a new person, a new life.

I thought this was such a beautiful sense of the passing of time, again it's so cinematic. That sense of the seasons changing around them as they go through the ups and downs (and shooting and kidnapping!) I loved the contrast of the new beginnings for Amy, it was so bittersweet but that hope you build into it. It's a new start in a phase of her life I thought it was so poignant that Amy returning with this new sense of discovery about herself in that she is out to take that new horizon and shape it for herself and her new family.

Amy let herself into the main front entrance of the building, and then walked down the corridor to flat number three. With a deep breath, she knocked, waiting for a response.

THE. CLIFFHANGER. MADAM! I BLOODY took a deep breath at this as she knocked on the door! Damn, I fucking love the pace you've created in this and the journey your showed Amy and Lucas going through. Both with the utter heartbreak and despair at losing each other. Amy with the rejection and confusion that Lucas is not seeming to fight for her and the utter terror that she is alone. But bloody Hell she keeps going, and pushing herself forward despite not knowing what direction to go in. But with Ros's little nudge Amy's is standing up and fighting for what SHE wants. AMY is making that decision! Taking that chance which must be terrifying. And MAN it's so satisfying and exciting to see her on that journey.

And Lucas we see him completely falling apart and it was so interesting to see him (through Amy's eyes) as the strong confident person of MI5 actually just as vulnerable and desperate. And I know Amy wants someone to fight for her and maybe that person is also herself that need to do that fighting for herself if that makes sense? The character development and to see her grow as a person has been such a wonderful rollercoaster. It's felt so natural with the pacing. And we see that Lucas is now in desperate need for someone to fight for him and Amy is that strength and has always been with her selfless love and dedication to him and his happiness. With Lucas you can see that with his past relationships did they really see him as the Lucas North the man not Lucas North MI5? Amy did. I love the contrast between them from the beginning and now. Amy standing on her own two feet scared but not backing down and facing her life head while Lucas from the confident MI5 agent to Lucas the man lost in wanting the one thing he feels he shouldn't be allowed to have, a family and life.

I hope what I've written makes sense I just wanted to share my thoughts and how much joy and heartache it's been watching their journey together. I'm so hyped and nervous about where you are going to take them next @fizzyxcustard!

Covert Eyes (25)

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery, abduction, hostage situation, PTSD, torture mention.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy is now working for MI-5, after being recruited by Ros. But will her involvement with Lucas cause even more problems and heartbreak?

When Amy's parents get involved, how will things pan out for Amy and Lucas?

Official soundtrack list: here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in. People who don't engage are gradually being removed from my tag list.

This fic does have an ending in sight...finally. :)

Feedback, comments and suggestions are always very valuable. My messages and ask box (including anons!) are open.

Thank you so much to those of you who have remained with me through this journey writing this story, and while we are very close to the end of this story, it's not the end of Lucas and Amy! ;)

Morning sickness began, or at least got stronger; Amy couldn’t quite tell. Most mornings that Amy had got up in the last month and she had felt nauseous, probably due to her anxiety spikes, and not just the hormones beginning to surge.

On the day that Amy was due to meet with Ros and she could barely keep any food in her stomach. Two rounds of toast had been immediately thrown back up. Three days later would be Amy’s booking appointment, where she would speak to a doctor or midwife face to face and begin the process of booking her first scan.

Nights were the worst. Amy was left alone with nothing but her thoughts, and she would always think of Lucas. She replayed the memories of when he tickled her under the bedclothes, when he would come behind her in the kitchen and wind his arms around her, the feel of his hand in hers, the smell of his cologne, the sound of his voice. Every night and she prayed he would contact her, but he didn’t. Her texts and WhatsApp remained empty of any new messages from Lucas North.

Ros waited for Amy in a Costa, which was in the city centre of Coventry. She slipped away towards the back of the shop and waited. It wasn’t long before she saw Amy’s familiar figure step into the building.

Amy stopped, scanned the sea of heads and then nodded as she caught Ros’ gaze.

“What would you like? I’ll get it,” Ros offered with a faint smile.

“Just a cup of tea, please. I need to keep it a little more bland. I’ve been really sick the last day or two,” Amy said.

Ros didn’t answer, but instead walked to the counter and placed her order.

Amy sat down, being temporarily taken back to the café she frequented with Lucas. The place where it all began just over a year ago. It would be their one year anniversary the following week if they had still remained together. The night when Amy had fully let him in, the beginning of their rocky relationship.

Amy watched Ros order their drinks. Why did these people sacrifice everything in their lives just for the sake of a job? What was it about MI5 that was so special? They had given up their normal lives, friends, family, for this job. Lucas thought he could have a normal life, but that had all turned out to be false. No one had a normal life. The long list of casualties on the job proved that. Amy had heard about many of them. Surveillance operatives who had found themselves in deeper shit than they could have ever imagined.

“What should I do?” Amy asked simply, as Ros placed the drinks down on the table. “Lucas is adamant that my parents are right, and has told me he’ll come to the scans and birth but won’t be with me. How can I get through to him?”

Ros sighed and began opening a sachet of sugar. “Lucas is stubborn at the best of times. But if you want to be together enough then you’ll do it. Lucas wants you safe, and neither of us can argue with that.”

“I’m not worth the fight for him.”

“No, it’s not that at all,” Ros said, shaking her head for emphasis. “I’ve known him about three years now, and never saw him as content as when he was with you. He finally seemed at peace with himself. You really bring out the best in him, and he adores you. Never think anything less than that. Lucas never does anything by half measure, especially when it comes to you.”

Amy looked down into her lap and felt the tears come again. “I wish he would let me make up my own mind. He’s always making decisions for me.”

“I’m so sorry, Ros. I had no idea,” Amy replied.

Ros smiled at Amy. “You didn’t know him, but you’ve probably heard his name mentioned. Adam Carter. Things wouldn’t have worked out between us. I always knew that. The job kept us apart, but he died on the job, same as his wife, Fiona. MI5 will either make or break you, Amy. But either way, once you’re in, you don’t leave. You and Lucas are truly devoted to each other, and you deserve happiness.”

***

“You’re approximately twelve weeks,” the midwife told Amy. “Baby is growing well. Seems quite active.”

“I estimate your due date approximately the last week of August.” The midwife wiped the gel from Amy’s stomach and paused the image on the screen, printing the scan. “I’ll book you for your next scan, and hopefully then we can determine the sex of the baby, if you want to know.”

Amy smiled. “I’d love to know. I always had it planned out in my head that if I had children, I’d want to know. It helps me get to know them better.”

The midwife, a middle-aged lady with short greying hair and glasses, smiled. “That’s nice,” she said simply.

Amy looked away and sighed. Of course the midwife wouldn’t be as interested; she saw dozens of pregnant women every day, and no doubt they all sounded like a broken record to her.

In the car and Amy sat in the passenger seat, her thumb trailing the curve of the baby’s head. “Should I send a copy to Lucas?” she asked absently.

“I still think it’s best he has no part in this,” Sharon hissed. “We’ll all pull together as a family, we always do.”

***

Time passed, weeks turning into months.

Amy felt the tension and anxiety lessen, as the nausea got worse by her fifth month, and then eased again. The fluttering sensations began, something she knew was inevitable as the baby grew. Her stomach was becoming harder and more prominent, resting a little heavier on the waist of her trousers.

Ros still remained in touch, having formally put Amy on early maternity leave after two months of sick leave. She had done all she could to keep the position open for Amy and also enable money to continue coming in, so she at least had something to live off.

Lucas was silent. Sometimes his deafening silence brought her to tears in the middle of the night as she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, praying he would be back beside her one day. She tried to imagine what the baby would look like, giving it Lucas’ grey blue eyes. But thinking on the baby’s appearance, always caused her to break down again.

***

Lucas walked slowly into the kitchen and looked out of the window, into the communal garden. It was growing dusk, with longer days moving in as the weeks passed quickly through spring. He thought of Amy, imagining her sitting in the garden, holding a baby on her lap, reading her old battered copy of The Hobbit, with a warm sun high in the sky. He had given her the ultimate gift, the one thing she had wanted for a while now, but he couldn’t enjoy it with her. Lucas knew she would be an amazing mother; doting, kind, eager to play and re-live her own childhood through their little one.

One way to numb the pain was alcohol. In the last few weeks and Lucas had welcomed whiskey and vodka into his life on a more permanent basis. The bedside table housed half empty bottles.

That night and he sat on the edge of the bed, downing whiskey from the bottle. He rubbed his stubbled chin and stared aimlessly through the gloom.

Amy was so ready to fight for you and you just let her go.

But she needs to be protected. Her and the baby.

You want her and she wants you. Fuck what her parents think.

The arguments raged. Back and forth the voices went, turning into whispers the more that Lucas drank from the bottle.

Tears trickled down Lucas’ cheek as he picked up his phone, and for the first time in months, he sent a single message to Amy. The alcohol had worn his inhibitions right down.

I love you.

***

Amy stared at the message, unable to comprehend that Lucas had actually sent her something. He’d been silent now for months, so she had taken this as her sign to leave him be and go through her pregnancy alone. The timestamp on the message was 2:04am. Messages in the dead of night were always a cry for help in some way. She whispered his name, still feeling stunned and not sure what to do.

A few hours passed and Amy still wondered what on earth to do with the message from Lucas. She’d looked back at the message multiple times, making sure that she wasn’t imagining it all. But it was still there. Three simple, desperate words.

An incoming call came from Ros.

“Hi, Ros. Is everything okay?” Amy asked, trying to force a cheerful tone.

“I wish I could say it was,” she replied. “Lucas didn’t turn up for work this morning, and has been coming in smelling of drink. Amy, he’s not doing well. He needs you.”

Amy sighed and swallowed hard. “He’s stubborn, Ros. No matter what I say and do, he won’t let me come back. You know he won’t.”

“Something tells me not this time.”

Lucas had suffered enough in his life and all Amy wanted was to see him find peace, wherever and whoever he found that with. He deserved peace; after all, he put his life on the line daily to protect the UK public. Of course he deserved some peace. She wanted to embrace him, comfort him, just be there and hold him during his dark hours.

On the train an hour later and Amy flicked through her purse, checking that she had enough cash to get her across London to her old flat. But as she rummaged in the coin compartment, she felt something long against her fingers. It was her original flat keys; two of them held together on a ring. One got her through the front door into the lobby area, and the other got her into the flat itself. Why had she kept them all this time? Was it because she always knew she would one day be going back?

The flashing of buildings and landscape somehow soothed her, while a teenage girl of around sixteen years of age sat next to Amy, flicking through Instagram, and occasionally posing in her front facing camera.

The closer she got to London and the more she could feel the fluttering in her belly, which was now showing.

For a second, she placed her hand on her bump and smiled.

We’re going to see your daddy.

Apprehension and excitement both rose inside Amy. She had missed Lucas more than she could ever express, and while on the underground and then walking the street, getting closer to the flat, she could feel her anxiety taking hold.

Amy let herself into the main front entrance of the building, and then walked down the corridor to flat number three. With a deep breath, she knocked, waiting for a response.

***

Follow Forever tag list: @lathalea @xxbyimm @meganlpie @linasofia @asgardianhobbit98

@luna-redamancy @mrsdurin @quiall321 @missihart23 @lemond57

@evenstaredits @catthefearless @glassgulls @sazzlep @court-jobi

@absentmindeduniverse @albionscastle @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @bookworm-with-coffee @danzalladaggers

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@richardarmitageshands @enchantingkryptoniteheart-blog @mismaeve

#Richard Armitage #Spooks #MI5 #Lucas North #Lucas North x OFC #Lucas North x Original Female Character #Writing #Lucas North x OC #Fanfiction #fizzyxcustard

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into-the-very-fires-of-mordor · 10 months ago

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Why Isn’t Thetis Remembered As Medusa Is?

A woman so devoted to her god/goddess (Zeus and Athena respectively) that they’ve given selflessly and wholly to them, only to be repaid in rape and despair. Both pursued by Poseidon. Both intimately involved in the stories of two of the most prominent and powerful heroes in all Greek mythology (Achilles and Perseus respectively), both ultimately coming to an unhappy ending because of said heroes (Achilles’ death and Medusa’s death at the hands of Perseus). Both seem to exist peacefully and with devoted reverence to the gods only to be persecuted by the very gods who they’d demonstrated their allegiance to.

It just fills me with a pang of deep sorrow that Thetis is remembered simply as “Achilles’ mother,” and not for the many incredible myths she’s had a hand in.

#She is the foster daughter of Hera and was raised by her #Many sources list Thetis as “the greatest of the Nereids”#Meaning that she most likely was greatly revered back in the day #She saved Hephestaus after his great fall and raised him #She also raised Dionysus and protected him #She summoned the Hundred Hander Briareus to break the chains Hera had placed on Zeus when she overthrew him #This is all besides her Homeric arc #But that is also badass #Anyways y’all we gotta remember this lady as more than the unearthly mom of Achilles #She’s a dynamic character all by herself #Thetis #ancient greece #ancient greek mythology #ancient history

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alicentsaegon · 4 months ago

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The Marriage of Aegon III and Jaehaera Targaryen.

They are so Henry VII Elizabeth of York coded...

#imagine you lose your entire family you're forced to marry the daughter of the man who killed your mother #(but she's still family)#your mother was eaten by a dragon and your new wife has a dragon herself #you marry a boy. you don't know him. he has your father's name. his mother put a bounty on your baby brothers head #(but he's still family there is no one else)#Aegon/Jaehaera dynamic would have ate and DEVOURED #literally one of the most tragic Targaryen failmarriages of all time!!!#'you don't want Aegon to be happy!!!' no he's a fictional character I want to be entertained !!!#tell me honestly there's not more meat to this story if Jaehaera lived. aren't things more complex.#jaehaera would be so isolated Aegon at least has Viserys and his sisters who does she have. Gaemon Palehair? maybe #asoiaf #hotd #aegon iii x jaehaera #aegon iii targaryen #jaehaera targaryen #house targaryen #dance of dragons #jaehaegon

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dreamerdrop · 14 days ago

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An AU to consider: Nurse Ogawa transferring to Deep Space Nine alongside Miles and Keiko.

Ogawa has a really magnetic charm to her, it’s impossible not to like her. She is also very intelligent, a studious professional, and deeply dedicated to her work.

She also has several years experience in the field over her Chief Medical Officer, who is fresh out of the academy and a little too enthusiastic about everything.

She thinks Bashir is adorable. He reminds her a bit of Wesley, so she ends up mothering him without meaning too. Julian would stop her, but it makes him feel kinda fuzzy and warm when she’s like that. (He mistakes this for romantic interest in her, but she actually bursts out laughing when he tries to ask her out, and then spends a week apologising for it. Julian decides it’s probably not worth a second attempt, and they settle into a nice doting friendship instead.)

She, Keiko, and Garak have a wine & whine club on weekends.

#star trek #star trek ds9 #star trek tng #alyssa ogawa #julian bashir #.i was thinking about how much i loved ogawa in tng recently and like.#.she was such an easy to like character as well like she smiles and you fall in love.#.and thinking about that lower decks episode in tng too.#.i would have loved to see ogawa become a spotlight character like miles did tbh.#.and if they dragged in another transplant from tng and it was a woman i think the writers would have felt compelled to give her and keiko.#.a friendship of sorts by default.#.and wouldn’t it have been nice if keiko was given more focus episodes as well. ):#.anyway mostly i just think ogawa would be a good counterpart to bashir.#.they’re both very cute and optimistic and then dead serious when it comes to their work.#.but they’re like. very different beyond that. alyssa is more humble and content with a lower rank and daily work.#.julian wants to aim bigger to help more people on a larger scale.#.ogawa rolls with her failures and punches and brushes herself off and keeps going.#.julian stews in his failures and takes them all as a personal issue no matter what.#.i just think they’d be an interesting dynamic.

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nualaofthefaerie · 1 day ago

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Everyone chill. Op just asked a question. It was cheeky. It wasn't meant like that. It's not like everyone gets everything. Defensiveness gets us nowhere, on both sides. Whenever someone asks one or the other side about their ship, they jump as if Viktor's a cookie that can't be shared.

I'll be glad to explain. Skyvik is not my "THE" ship. They either come in pack of four or I'm not interested:

But I spend enough time in all the tags to the point where I can explain each of their individual dynamics quite easily.

Is Skyvik based on guilt? Kinda actually.

On one hand, the acquintances to lovers pipeline is appealing to people, it's a tale as old as time. But I do think the guilt/grief angle is much more romantic. Now granted, I am a freak 😔 i do like them doomed from the get go.

Super important I subscribe to 'death of an author'. What Christian Linke or Amanda Overton tell me about any of these four is like air to me, it wasn't in the show it doesn't count. "Jayvik are friends"...like hell they are. "Sky was a stand in for Jayce" I'm afraid visuals do not subscribe to that notion.

Now, to go quickly through the usual Skyvik denial arguments:

1. "He calls her Miss Young"

Viktor's character is based on Slavic men. In most slavic cultures nicknames, first names and last names are used interchangeably without indication of how close someone is to another person.

He calls her Sky more times than he calls her Miss Young ever. At some point it became this Mandela Effect where people act like he didn't know her name.

2. He shows no interest in her before she died

By the time we are shows any sort of interest on Sky's part about Viktor, he's already too obsessed with the Hexcore and saving himself.

Relationships are kind of obsolete to a man who knows he has no time left to spare and the "cure" is a puzzle that's dangling over his head

That scene where he "rejects her" is also the scene he ignores Jayce more or less because he is too focused on the idea that the core can learn.

So all in all we do not know if he cared. And then it's Schrödinger's cat since their backstory was stripped from the final versions of the script

3. She tells him "No, you won't" when he says he'll miss their conversations

He needed reassurance he can let her go. He wasn't ready to do that. That's the shot on their hands where she's letting him go. His hands are shaking, he's teary eyed, he doesn't really want to let whatever she is, go.

Now! Is Sky his humanity? Yes. Does that mean she wasn't herself in there? No. I don't think so. We see she has free will. She is not pleased with the violent turn of events and if she can be displeased, she can argue, if she can argue she can be herself.

She let's him go so he can finish what he started. I believe she told him he won't miss her because that was the last of his emotions and then he is just numb, therefore incapable of missing anything or anyone. Missing someone is deeply intertwined with having any sort of positive opinion or feelings for someone. And he let's these things go.

Now, onto the real juicy stuff.

Was it guilt? YES. Yes it was. BUT, in many literary pieces grief and guilt are the strongest soldiers of romance. They are inherently romantic.

Viktor felt SOMETHING for her. Be it that he's in love with the idea of her or her, it doesn't really matter. Not really. But the acts he engages in post her death are quite in line with those of a classic gothic romance novel.

He scattered her ashes where he met her and was ready to just follow her to death. Jayce stopped him. Which (the implications of that...we can talk about the Hexteam some other time) but Jayce prevents that. When he's resurrected, it's against his will and his body is now the thing that killed the person who loved him.

So he takes the one object left from her (the notebook) and leaves his "creator" (who at that point betrayed him twice - made weapons and didn't destroy the core) behind with a body he detests. The only way to attone for him being alive at that point is to try to do what she wanted - make their home better.

At that point everything saviour Viktor does is FOR Sky as much as it is for him. The commune? Highly implied that was the project she wanted his help on. That's her commune he built for her. Healing people? For her. To attone for her being gone. He needs her approval constantly or at least the illusion of her approval. As seen ⬇️ down here and when he looks up to her in Arc 1 s2. He wanted to make sure telling Singed to go was the right choice. Which is NOT the hexcore manipulating him into doing anything as in the end all he did, he did himself.

The symbol that holds the blanket is her broach, which is a favorite symbol of mine about how Viktor is an amalgamation of the two people who loved him unconditionally. REGARDLESS.

Her spirit is also allowed to touch him. Something others are not. The followers were touched BY him, she and Jayce are allowed close enough to touch HIM. Also in a "single consciousness" she is not shared with the others. Its only for him to see because he is the only one who knew her.

But in doing everything to make it up to her, Viktor triggers the end of the world. And world ending grief and guilt is just something different all together. If Sky doesn't die...Viktor will never end the world. There is only an end to pursuit if Sky Young dies. There is only reversal to that if Jayce Talis saves Viktor's soul. Their fates are intertwined for eternity to chase after one another and take the entire world down with them.

I hope that's not too long, i tried to be as detailed as possible but I'm also tired and my tummy aches 😥 I'm sorry.

I hope that makes a bit of sense to OP. 🪷

full offense to skyvik shippers but literally what basis do yall even ship them on? guilt?

#skyvik #sky arcane #viktor arcane #arcane

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shaylogic · 7 months ago

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You know how Charles reacted to the daughters in the Devlin House? Rewatching the scene when Crystal is yelling at Edwin "HE'S OUR FUCKING DEMON NOW"

trying to explain she's scared and feeling alone, Charles' face journey in that scene. . .

I feel like it's a similar connection around the after-effects of abusive interactions he's remembering along with her then. Realizing the kind of relationship Crystal had with David, knowing what it's like to have someone fuck with your head and leave you scared and alone after. . .

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piko-rose · 5 months ago

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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

#piko rambles #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol #I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS #Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im #I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao #But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons #-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic #-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO

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