#She almost got involved lol
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TRR Squad crossover High School Series
Even though Hana would prefer to be in the band rather than a cheerleader, her parents signed her up for cheerleading. To be a cheerleader at Oliver M. Berry High School is to be in the elite squad. Cheerleaders date athletes not the nerds in the band. And yet Hana and Raelyn find themselves drawn to each other. Can they face all the cattiness and high school cliques? Or will the cheerleading squad and the band get in between the two star-crossed lovers?
Riley is busy trying to pass her classes and going head to head with her rival and Hearst's softball star Olivia Nevrakis. She doesn't have time for a love triangle between Liam, Berry's basketball star, and his best friend Drake, the star linebacker for Berry's football team. But this is high school and with young love, hearts are bound to be broken.
#I know they look too old to be in hs#But we can just pretend they're actors#In a tv show#You don't know how disappointed I couldn't find#A full sprite of a rival#In softball uniform for Olivia#She almost got involved lol#choices#pixelberry#playchoices#hana lee#trr#the royal romance#hss#high school story#drake walker#liam rys#maxwell beaumont#Hana x Raelyn
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HAPPY MOGTOBER?!?!
#nevermoor#morrigan crow#mogtober#mogtober 2024#I love october for a thousand reasons but all the art from art challenges is most of what gets me through this month lol#also happy ‘we fell in love in october’ month#anyway. it was literally my dream as a kid to ride an umbrella like this; if you ignore how umbrellas work it’s possible!!#also I had a lot of fun imagining how she got in this position in the first place. it involves a lot of flailing and almost falling+dying#or crouching and holding it against her back like a turtle shell and jumping on like that
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I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like
I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?
Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.
So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???
It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.
I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically
#squiggposting#paused work to muse about this which i prolly shouldn't have lol#oh well i'll still get stuff done#like idk an example of this is how pyra criticized OP for using religion to manipulate people#(lets just ignore how she said she would teach OP but never actually did)#but in the story there's never any sort of confrontation where pyra learns about history or talks with OP#and OP gets to be like. yeah on my planet primes fucking sucked and i'm the only one trying to redeem their image#also ive been fighting an endless war that lasted 4 mil years in which me being a shining figurehead was basically#the sole motivating force keeping my army from just collectively succumbing to endless despair#and i also had to use this shining figurehead image i had to keep the opposing army from genociding a bunch of organics#like not once does OP get to express his side of things he's basically just shit upon endlessly by other characters as he keeps doing plot#i feel like i had another example but i can't recall who/what was involved lmao#like idk it's not just that barber's writing is depressing and dark and edgy. i LIKE stories that do that kind of thing#it's just that it feels a bit as if the story is ENDLESSLY depressing and dark and edgy with almost no reprieve#as if it's mostly presenting the flaws of the characters with no chance for them to justify or redeem themselves#idk i feel like there was another better point/example i was gonna make but i can't remember it#like idk i guess a dark depressing story would've been better if the characters at least got to defend themselves#bc as is it basically feels like they (esp OP) get shit on endlessly and never once get to express anything about it#so like. they get shit on in universe. but also as the reader since there's never a contradicting viewpoint or the character defending them#it's as if you're supposed to take this one-sided criticism of them at face value and it just doesn't seem fair AS THE READER#if i read about OP getting shit on by some people and defended by others and also him expressing his opinion on himself#then that just feels like a normal fair narrative where i get to take sides#but if it's just OP being shit on and he hardly expresses much about it#then it feels like i as the reader am expected to agree with the portrayal being shown?#but in reality the portrayal just feels negative and unfair and one sided to me#and why the fuck do i want to read a story that's just the characters i know and like on an endless shame parade#also shout out to 'literally who' aka slide calling OP 'literally fascist' lmao#one of the most cringe moments of the entire comic. wait no. i can think of a more cringe Slide Moment#when unicron is about to destroy the planet and trypticon is getting shot and dying(?) in the background#and the story decides to pause and focus on Slide so she can monologue about how evil and tyrannical OP is
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Okay I rambled about this in a rb just now but my friend framed my arts i gifted for xmas!!! Anyway this picture brings me more joy than I can possibly express in words
#i almost wanna.. go over there with some posterboard and a ruler and frame them better tho#okay okay i am detracting from my point jfc#even the cat got involved in this photo (she likes radiator cuz it warm lol) anyway i love it sm😭💕
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My Dad is once again in emerge due to kidney stones and this interaction in the fam chat between him and my mom is absolutely SENDING ME
#i am going to melt away. followed by my mom's FUCKIN SALUTE EMOJI???? WHEEZING#dani speaks#he's fine btw. he is prone to kidney stones#usually when it involves a big life event for me lol#he got one at my uni grad. at my engagement party. bridal shower was an almost. and then. we were all in FEAR for the wedding#needless to say. my sister called to tell me#and i was on the desk so i was like GIRL WHAT#and how she told me was by asking if I had a big announcement to make 🫠🫠🫠#can't believe MY parents just had a blinter coded interaction#THEY ARE THE ANTITHESIS OF BLINTER. FOILS BERHAPS. VERY NOT BLINTER CODED SO I AM SHOOKETH#famnanigans
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Profit: I can make her worse. Gail, glaring at him: Fine, but I’m gonna complain the whole time.
#jim profit#gail koner#profit#profit tv#profit 1996#jiminy business#like i dont even ship it i was just like this maniac made a friend?? friend??#we stan some besties#sure he's getting her involved in his Various Schemes but. he's proud of her! lol#whoops he made a Human Connection accidentally. she'll do the morally dubious thing but she's gonna roll her eyes at him first#and he almost got vulnerable with her there when they dicuss their parents lol#'i almost had it easier' jim your dad RAISED YOU IN A BOX.#here's to having the incorrect takeaway from this show about a scheming gremlin man#Profit: subtitle: Profit Made A Friend! :D#bestiessss momentssss#profitblogging#anni edits
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headcanon maybe?? when louise was younger she was probably violent and started fights and got sent to the principals office a lot and none of the teachers knew how to handle her but gene and tina always seemed to know what to do to get her to calm down and figure out what was going on so they would just get pulled from class bcuz 6 year old louise was trying to kill another kid or something LOL gene probably liked it bcuz it meant he could leave class and tina wanted to help louise, their relationship is sweet :)
#some ppl seem to think that their school is specifically grades 4 to 8#bcuz those are the grades we see most students from and those are the kids ages but i dont think thats true??#like we almost never see characters from 5th or 7th grade bcuz the kids just aren't in those grades LOL#and a teacher said something abt grade 3 students in one episode so clearly they do have younger grades but they aren't involved#with all the things that older kids do like field trips and everything (just for writing simplicity)#BUT ANYWAY i do think that wagstaff is grades kindergarten to 8th grade they just dont show the younger kids a lot#so they've probably always been in the same school :)#my brother was a lot like louise when he was a kid and he got into trouble A LOT although i cant say the teachers asked me and my sister#for help controlling him or at least not me idk what was going on with my sister#she was always better at controlling him#WHATEVER my headcanon is that louise was a lot harder to control when she was younger and the teachers were scared of her#they would just ask gene and tina for help all the time#txt#bob's burgers
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(via oflights)
I love this modern version of Zelda bc she's just a girl in STEM who everyone knows and loves but then she's also an urban myth, a four dimensional entity, a chupacabra
#THESE!!! i love her! when i learned that she helped build a school in hateno i almost cried#and i ran across the girl who was waiting for her and i was the old man clutching at chest meme#also i just got the master sword back and it's funny how the first MAGICAL moments that took my breath away#in both games involves dragons lol#in fact i started CRYING hard the moment i had to grab and hold onto the sword#it was zelda's hands that gently placed this broken sword on a dragon (how tho) so that it could heal#entrusted it to be kept safe and nurtured it with her own power as well as the dragon's light#so that 1000 years later link's hands could grab it and hold on tight and oh so softly pull it out of the dragon's hair#(the one shining and constant light amidst my inventory of decayed weapons that will break after certain amount of blinks)#i LOVE LOVE LOVE zelda and the lil quest to get the sword back so much im still kinda crying#totk#legend of zelda#totk spoilers
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– i don't want to be your roommate, i want to kiss your neck || (m)
heeseung x reader | smut, fluff, angst, PWP lol | roommate + best friend's brother!heeseung
➤ summary : at first, you cursed lee hana for ditching your roomies-forever contract, but now you want to thank her for having such a great idea for her hot brother to move in as her replacement... just as long as she doesn't find out you think he's hot.
➤ includes : warning!cuddling!!!, also masturbating, unprotected sex, fingering, praise, breeding kink ;)
➤ word count : 15.7k (jesus)
minors DNI!!!!
taglist : @iamliacamila @m3chigo @jaylaxies @stellarpsh @noonareads @xrvrqs @enmayz @enhastolemyheart @notevenheretbh1 @jjhmk @heyitsbush @ipoststuffandyeah @seokseokjinkim @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @hoyeonheeseung @erehkinnie30 @niniissus @janehrt @jenojammin @heerated @luvjongseong @wonniewonwon @loveyrovey @page-odette @slay-you-slay-all-day
lee hana was the best friend you could ever ask for.
when you met during freshman year of college you knew that you would be best friends forever. she was the missing piece that you were missing in a lot of ways. so, when she asked if you wanted to find a place to rent together you couldn’t possibly turn her down.
you decorated the apartment you found so that it could be deemed as ‘your shared home’. parts of you both were mangled around the apartment, wherever you looked there were pieces of each other somewhere. hana’s favourite photography works she’s taken, your ugly wool throw blankets that you insisted on having and both of your dirty dishes piling up in the sink because you both hated doing dishes.
though, you both lived wonderfully together. you managed to cook almost everyday regular meals that were somewhat healthy and made sure the other one was getting to class on time. you figured that you would continue to live with her for the rest of your early-mid twenties.
until she got a boyfriend.
don’t get it wrong, you loved jay; but you despised him for taking away your perfect roommate.
you were worried at first when hana sat you down and told you she’d be moving out by the end of the month. her and jay had decided to take their relationship further and she agreed to move into his apartment with him. you knew that your lease wouldn’t end until the rest of the year, meaning that you would have to pay the rent for two people even though it’d be only you living here. which, you did not have the money for as a broke college student.
“but don’t worry!” hana smiled at you from her spot on the couch when she broke the news, “i’ve found you another roommate who is just like me! so there won’t be any problems.”
you sigh, because there are usually always problems if hana isn’t involved. meaning, you will most definitely hate your new roommate, hana’s replacement.
“don’t sigh like that y/n!” hana smacks your shoulder, “he’s seriously a perfect mix of you and i, you’ll like him.”
“him?!” you exclaim, shaking your head no to the fact that you will have to live with a boy.
“y/n, just give him a chance! you haven’t even met him yet!”
you glare at your best friend and soon-to-be-ex-roommate with displeasure at the new information she was laying on you. “but he’s a boy, hana! he’s gonna ruin our woman sanctuary here!”
“y/n, i don’t think this has been a woman sanctuary since we’ve moved in,”
“but it could be, if you stay living here,”
“y/n, i already told him he could have my room, I care about him a lot.” hana juts out her lips into a pout, her pretty features contorting into begging ones as she desires your approval.
“fine, but i want him to at least try to contain his man testosterone to one room,” you sigh, giving in to your best friend. her squeals reach your ears quickly as she leans over to pull you into a hug.
“you’re gonna love him! you won’t even want me back as a roommate,”
“who even is he?”
“his name’s heeseung,”
“heeseung?”
“yeah,” hana shrugs casually, “my brother.”
“what?!” you exclaim at her again. you had never met her family before, both of you growing up in different states made it hard to meet each others. hana was usually private about her family, not talking much about them either way. you were aware that she had an older brother, but you would have never thought that you would come to live with him. “hana, what.”
hana lets out her familiar roistering laugh at your shocked expression, “i told you he was just like me- and if he’s just like me then he’s just like you!”
you pout, “we’ll see about that.”
you didn’t meet lee heeseung until lee hana had officially moved out. he came unexpected, a knock on your door that you couldn’t guess would be him.
it was the day after you sat on the kitchen stool, a pout on your face as you watched hana and jay take her boxes to the moving truck.
“can’t i just move in with you guys?” you whine out to them.
“aw, y/n,” hana comes over to you, cupping your cheeks harshly together. “no.” you let out a hmph at her response, making her let out her obnoxious laugh. “i’m still going to see you!”
“yeah, i know, but it won’t be the same,” you shake your head at her.
though you were happy for hana, it was still hard to believe that you would never be roommates again with her. jay and her made the perfect match, so part of you knew this day would come. the day that you would no longer be able to refer to lee hana as your roommate. so the final goodbye as roommates was bittersweet when hana and her cinnamon scent left the apartment that she no longer called her home. the apartment had an echo to it that night, when you were cooking dinner by yourself- for yourself.
hana had texted you that she had forgotten a few boxes in her closet, therefore when there was knocking on the door at 8am the next day you figured it was her. you swung open the door, dressed in your loose sweatpants and tank top, ready to tease her for coming back so soon.
you were not expecting to open the door to see an ethereal man.
his warm brown, deer-like eyes were relaxed as they met your surprised ones. his said eyes wandered down your body, stopping to stare at your exposed lower stomach from your sweatpants sitting low on your hips. you felt your neck gush with heat as you attempted to pull down your tanktop when you realized where his eyes had been stranded.
“hi, you must be y/n,” he spoke first, his voice as warm as his eyes.
“uh, yes?” you respond curiously, your mind still flowing with sleep from waking up seconds before.
the boy raised a singular key on a chain in front of your face, “i’m heeseung- hana gave me the key but i figured i would knock first anyways.”
“hee- heeseung, right, um,”
“so, can i come in?” heeseung smiled at your shocked demeanor.
“yes! um, of course, sorry- i just woke up.” you mentally cursed yourself for being so bewildered.
your new roommate stepped in and stopped in the middle of the living room. looking over the place from top to bottom. his eyes were going over every nook and cranny that he could possibly see. when he figured he had seen enough, he turned back to you at the open door and said, “it’s nice in here- really nice.”
“thanks,” you stated, curious about where he was taking this.
“i’ll try to keep my man testosterone to my room so it doesn’t ruin what you’ve got going on here.” your jaw dropped at his words, not believing that hana could’ve told him that you said that.
“look, i didn’t-” you started, trying to explain yourself so your new roommate doesn’t hate you completely.
his laugh that is a lot quieter than hana’s, considering that they’re related, rings out in the apartment. you paused for a second to think that maybe you could get used to hearing his laugh instead. “it’s alright, don’t worry about it.”
“no, really, sometimes i just-,”
“it’s alright, hana gave me some pre-move in roommate tips, i got you.”
your demeanor changes as you cross your arms over your chest at the news, “oh did she?” heeseung gives a faint noise of confirmation as he scans the old couch you and hana picked up on the side of the street two years ago, “and what was one of those tips.”
“hm, that you must have green tea every morning before you can do anything else.” he smiles cheesily at you, “which i think we should get on doing so you’re down to help bring in all my shit.”
sure enough, you got your cup of green tea, showing heeseung around the kitchen as you did so. he sat at the kitchen stool where you sat yesterday, watching the other lee sibling move all her belongings out. you tried to tell yourself to calm down as he sat behind you, out of your view. you were not used to having a good looking boy in your apartment. you were glad that you slipped into your room to get a hoodie on before reaching the kitchen for that cup of tea.
“sorry it’s a mess in here, i didn’t know you were moving in today,” you spoke with your back still to him.
“really? hana told me that she told you i was coming,”
you scoff, “of course she did. she always forgets to do as she says.”
a knowing smile crawls onto heeseung’s pretty face, a smile that seems to be the only thing that gives away he’s related to hana, “i know; i shouldn’t have trusted her this morning.”
“she also didn’t tell me that it was her older brother moving in,” you joke, turning around now with a hot cup of tea in your hand. when he lets out a shocked expression you continue, “i knew she had an older brother, but she never told me your name.”
heeseung shrugs, “yeah, we’re private like that- i don’t think many of my friends have met hana either.”
“why not?”
“i don’t know, we’re just like that.”
you set down your now empty cup, feeling refreshed as the hot tea settles in your stomach. “right, let’s go get your man testosterone shit.”
heeseung follows you out of your now shared apartment, smiling to himself as you complain about becoming his personal mover.
with lee heeseung’s belongings finally all brought into your now shared apartment, you couldn’t help but compare his scent to his sisters. it was similar in a way, the cinnamon wisp of hana’s you became familiar with circled around heeseung, but there was a mix of something sweet along with it.
the boy didn’t have too many things. a big computer set, a few boxes of clothes and a ton of cd’s. hana’s old bookshelf seemed to suit heeseung’s cd collection easily as there was just enough room for them all to be lined up by genre. you could tell that the remnants of hana will no longer be in your apartment by the end of the day.
“i think i forgot another box of cd’s in my car,” heeseung said as you watched him unpack from the bedroom’s door frame you were leaning on. “i’ll be right back.” he walks past you, a noise of acknowledgement coming from your throat.
with the front door closing and heeseung’s brown hair leaving sight behind it, your head turns to hana’s now old room. heeseung’s clothes boxes are stacked up on his new bed. you wonder for a moment what other clothes he wears besides the gray sweats and black hoodie he has on today. then, drooping out of the farthest box on the bed, a white and black flannel catches your eye. before you know it your legs and feet have moved so you’re able to pick up the flannel. the fabric is soft and you instantly smell that sweet scent of heeseung surrounding you.
“i can put away my clothes myself, it’s okay.” heeseung’s voice speaks from behind you, making you jump and instantly drop the flannel from your hands, back into the box.
you turn to see him putting the last box of his cd’s onto his desk, his hoodie sleeves rolled up so you can see his smooth forearms now. “right, i know. sorry.”
heeseung chuckles under his breath as he flips his bangs up out of his face and runs a hand through his hair, “no it’s okay, i just figured you wouldn’t want to touch more of my man testosterone than you already have.”
your lips purse at him, “yeah you’re right. i can already feel it growing on me.” you make so that your hands are trying to brush something off of you in disgust.
“well how about you go wash it off in the shower while I make breakfast?” heeseung suggests with a playful smile on his pink lips.
“breakfast?” you exclaim, your eyes wide.
“well i would say it is around breakfast time, no?”
“hana never made breakfast.”
“what can i say? i’m the better roommate.”
you crossed your arms over your chest, “don’t push it, heeseung.” you glare at him as you push past him to go to the bathroom. “and I like my eggs over-easy.”
you hear heeseung’s soft laugh as you close the bathroom door.
not only did lee heeseung offer to cook breakfast, he is actually good at cooking. as soon as you walked out of the bathroom in clean clothes and the man testosterone on your skin properly washed off, you started drooling at the smell of food.
heeseung was standing over the stove, finishing up the last of the scrambled eggs he was making. the small kitchen table you and hana bought years ago was set up with plates and cutlery, some fruit, bacon and toast.
“heeseung, oh my god,.” you say in shock. you would have never imagined that your new roommate would have done something like this. .
heeseung turns with a pretty smile on his face, “sit down, the eggs are done now.”
in your shocked state you managed to sit down in the chair heeseung motioned to as he filled up your plate with eggs. “why did you make all this?”
heeseung shrugs as he set the empty frying pan in the sink and sits down across from you, “i mean you let me move in here without ever properly meeting me and then you helped me move in all my stuff, so i figured this was the least i could.” you stare at him in shock and heeseung lets out a quick, dry laugh, “well are you gonna eat it or what?”
“right! sorry!” you pick up your fork and start to dig in, “it’s just, i haven’t had a breakfast like this in years.”
“what do you usually have for breakfast then? besides green tea.”
now you shrug, eyes practically closing from how good his food tastes, “nothing, pretty much.”
heeseung rolls his eyes, “well that’s not good, we’ll have to change that.”
“if you make breakfast like this often then you and your man testosterone can stay here for as long as you like.” you point your fork at him with a knowing smile.
“or until the lease is up in december.”
“right, or until then.”
the mention that heeseung nor you wouldn’t be living here together for more than four months suddenly leaves a pit in your stomach that his eggs couldn’t manage to fill as you continue eating. heeseung has already been in your apartment for no more than four hours and you already could not imagine living with someone else.
besides their smiles, heeseung and hana seem to only have one other thing in common. which is their ability to get comfortable anywhere.
you had made sure to tell heeseung to make himself feel at home, since it is home now. at least it is for four months. you didn’t want to be those awkward roommates that feel like they have to sneak around the apartment to not piss off the other roommate.
but, for a moment, you forgot who he was related to.
so, heeseung made himself comfortable really quickly. by the third week of living together he was already settled in and acting like he had owned the place for years.
you learnt quickly that heeseung really likes music. his cd collection taking over his room was the first sign of his passion. when he mentioned he is a dance major at your university, it was not that big of a shock to you. you also quickly caught on to him seemingly always having his earphones in, the white cord trailing from his ear to his phone he always carries with him.
you didn’t mind heeseung’s obsession with music, in fact you found it interesting he could listen to music for so long without a stop. you didn’t think it would ever be a bother to you.
except for now.
you are in your room trying to finish writing your qualification letter to the university’s library so you could become a student librarian this year, which you procrastinated so much that you only have two days before the school year starts to hand it. it is like you are having a severe writer's block and could not think of why you should be the one with the librarian position. you love going to the library to study and to read, you spent your entire first year in the library so much that hana said you should just move in there. having this student librarian position would be good for your career as you wanted to become a teacher abroad.
you were getting frustrated at your lack of writing for this letter when you started to hear music coming from heeseung’s bedroom across the hall. it was loud and it was some aggressive heavy metal music. you take a breath and decide that it’s a sign that you need to take a break from this letter. you push your laptop to the side and lay down, covering your eyes with your arm draped over your face.
even with your eyes closed you can still see words going across your eyes, not being able to stop thinking about what you could possibly write in your letter. you lay there trying to think of something, anything, but everytime you think you get somewhere it seems to be stupid and then heeseung’s music fades into your ears again.
when you’ve finally had enough of laying there, getting nowhere with your letter and heeseung’s music having no sign of stopping, you toss your sapphire sheet off of your legs and stand up, beelining it right to heeseung’s door. without a hesitation you knock on his door, and a second later the music stops and it opens.
heeseung stands in the doorway now, his brown bangs practically stuck to his forehead with sweat and his bambi eyes immediately looking down at your figure. his cheeks are flushed a red hue that almost matches the colour of his lips that are parted as he breathes. but you can’t properly match the colour of his cheeks to his lips because you realize he is shirtless standing in front of you.
sweat droplets are trailing down his tanned skin like they’re racing each other. his broad shoulders that you couldn’t have stopped yourself from noticing weeks ago are now plain in sight for your eyes to drink in. his abdomen is full of muscles that move with his chest as he practically pants, trying to catch his breath in front of you.
“what’s up?” his voice successfully breaks you out of the trance you were somehow put in.
“uh,” you shake your head trying to grab onto all of the thoughts that were filling your head, “i’m trying to write my student librarian application letter and i can’t focus because your music is too loud.” you try to sound as angry and frustrated as you were one minute ago, but your words only come out mediocre when you speak.
“oh shit, i’m sorry,” heeseung’s hand brushes his damp bangs out of his eyes, his face forming into a sorry expression as he looks down at you. “i was working out because the university gym isn’t open yet– i’ll put my headphones in.”
“right, okay.” you speak, trying to not focus on the way his muscles flexed in his arm when he pushed his bangs back.
“good luck on your letter,” heeseung smiles at you and it triggers reality for you as you quickly back up and enter your own room.
“thanks.” you say to him, closing your bedroom door so you’re out of view of each other.
you hold onto the doorknob until you hear heeseung’s door click shut and you let out a breath of relief as your body laxes. you climb back into your sapphire sheets, thankful for the coolness of them that will bring down your flushed hot state.
when you realize your panties are damp against your skin, you make a pact to yourself– and to hana– that there is no possible way you will find your best friend’s brother hot.
you thought that when school started you would see less of heeseung than you did in the final days of summer, but it seemed that you only saw more of him. you would see him walk past you on campus, never failing to wave at you or call your name. you also learnt that heeseung has a bad habit of skipping classes. so he was home more than you were. the only classes he never skipped were his dance ones, that would go on for hours and leave him to be tired and sweaty when he comes home.
like tonight, you were sitting on the couch in the living room, your laptop warm on your lap as you typed away at your essay, telling yourself to write just a few more sentences. since you ended up getting the job as the student librarian, you’ve had less time to do school work since you’ve had to run around helping other students in the library. when the front door opens, a very tired looking heeseung walked in, his clothes practically falling off him from exhaustion.
“long practice?” you ask him absentmindedly, still focusing on your essay.
“very, long practice.” you hear him respond as the fridge door opens. you hear him shuffle around in the fridge before it closes and he tells you he’s gonna get in the shower.
the faint sound of the shower running starts and you forget that heeseung is even home as you continue to write your essay. when the bathroom door opens minutes later, you glance up at the time on your computer, seeing it approaching 9pm.
“wanna watch a movie?” heeseung asks from behind you.
you sigh, “i really wanna finish my essay, though.”
heesung comes around the couch and sits on the other side, putting his feet up on the coffee table in front of it, “that’s okay, right? you can do both. plus knowing you, you’ve probably been working on it all day right?”
“maybe.”
“well then you need a break.”
“but i’m almost done, just a few more paragraphs.” you jut out your bottom lip as you look at him for the first time. his hair is wet and it’s falling into his eyes. the sight instantly makes you remember the working-out incident from a few weeks ago and you tighten your thighs together at the mere thought of it.
“c’mon, watch a movie with me, y/n.” he begs you, “please.” before you can say no he’s reaching over and taking your laptop out of your hands.
“heeseung!” you whine out, “i’m almost done!”
the position he was in to grab the laptop meant that he was a lot closer to you than before, his face only centimeters away from yours as he leaned on his elbow on the couch cushion. “please, watch a movie with me.” he mimics your earlier expression of your jutted out lip.
you sigh, giving into the boy, “fine.” he lets out a hissed ‘yes’ as he sets the laptop on the coffee table and passes you the remote.
you still for a moment when he drops his head into your lap. you’re unsure what to do or say so you try to focus on finding a movie in front of you on the tv.
“it’s okay if i put my head in your lap right? i’m just so tired.” heeseung asks, probably noticing how stiff your body went.
“uh, yeah sure.” you say, watching where you place your hands and arms now. you hear him let out a quiet ‘yay’ before he’s telling you to put on a studio ghibli movie.
It was hard to concentrate on Spirited Away at first, with heeseung’s head weight in your lap. you could feel his warm breath on your thigh everytime he exhaled. one of his hands was hooked onto your thigh in front of his face and you could feel him mindlessly tapping his fingers against your leg, probably to some song that is stuck in his head today. you told yourself to focus on the movie and it worked until you stopped feeling his fingers tapping on your thigh. you glance down at your roommate and see that he’s fallen fast asleep on your lap. his damp hair now dry and falling into his closed eyes. his lips are parted slightly as he exhales deep, slow breaths. you allow yourself to take him in for a moment, never seeing him so calm before.
through his bangs you see that his eyebrows are not scrunched up in their usual frown since school started. you almost instinctively brush his bangs off of his forehead, but stop when you're a mere inch away. roommates should not be affectionate with each other, especially when said roommate is your best friend’s brother.
haku distracts you again.
when heeseung moves once more, it’s an hour later when Spirited Away has finally ended, the ending music causing him to stir.
“damn, i basically missed the entire thing.” he mumbles, sleep laced in his voice.
“you did miss the entire thing.” you respond, quirking an eyebrow up at him as he lifts himself from your lap.
“sorry,” he shrugs, “but that was the best sleep i’ve had in a while.”
“really?”
“yeah, i’ve been stressed about the dance concert that’s coming up- they put me in charge of a major part of the choreography so, my minds just been on that.”
“heeseung, what? that’s amazing!”
heeseung smiles at you, brushing his bangs back like you almost did an hour ago. “thanks- and thanks for letting me sleep.”
“it’s no problem, it gave me more time to think about how to end my essay.”
“yeah? think you can end it perfectly after taking a break?” heeseung asks with a sly tone.
“just perfectly.”
since the night heeseung had slept in your lap, neither of you had shied away from little touches of each other. like hands casually sliding over each other’s when he passes you the milk for your cereal, laughing into each other’s bodies, and more naps with heeseung’s head in your lap.
you told yourself that it’s no different than hanging out with your other friends. that you guys are just friendly with each other. there was no romantic feelings between you and your best friend’s older brother.
you knew you and heeseung were getting more comfortable with each other, but when he barges into the bathroom while your mid-shower, you had to re-think just how close you two were.
“sorry!” heeseung immediately calls out as soon as he enters the bathroom, “but i gotta pee so bad and i need to leave!”
your mouth drops open as your eyes widen. you instinctively cover your body even though the shower curtain is covering you completely. “it- it’s fine.” you hear him shuffling around through the sound of the shower’s water hitting the tub. tyring to ignore that there is only a thin layer of fabric covering your naked body from heeseung’s gaze you ask him “where are you going?”.
“uh, jaehyuck’s having a party tonight and jeongin’s been outside waiting for me for almost ten minutes now and he’s pissed.”
“oh, ok. have fun.”
“i will, thanks!” are heeseung’s last words in the bathroom before he’s shutting the door and leaving.
once you’re alone in the shower again, you wonder what you should do tonight since heeseung’s gone and it’s friday night. you wonder if hana would want to hang out at the old cafe you two used to frequent before she moved out. but the odd’s are low since she’d probably rather go to a bar and “start her weekend off right”. you laugh to yourself as you perfectly hear hana’s words in your head. but still, you figure you would try.
your efforts immediately fail as an hour later you open the door to hana dressed in her ‘ready for the bar’ outfit glaring at your ‘ready for the cafe’ outfit.
“no.” hana states as she glances up and down at you, shaking her head. “it’s friday y/n! let’s go drinking! you can study for the other two days of the weekend!”
“ugh,” you move aside and plop down on your couch, hearing hana close the door behind her wander around her old apartment. “i hate going to bars!”
“yeah well you need to get away from “studying” places every once and a while!” hana’s voice rings from your bedroom. you sit up on the couch, realizing your head was placed right where heeseung’s face was pressed against your thighs a few weeks ago.
“we don’t have to study at the cafe!” you call back to her.
“but you’ll be thinking about studying!”
“i’d probably be thinking about studying at a bar, too!”
“not if you’ll be drinking and,“ hana’s voice gets clearer as she continues, “wearing this.”
you turn to look at her as she emphasizes her last word. in her hands is a tight black dress that you have never worn before. it has thin noodle straps and is made of silk. “no.”
“yes!” hana answers, “and since when did you have such a cute dress?”
“ugh,” you plop down onto the couch again, “i don’t know, a while ago. it was stupid of me.”
“c’mon y/n, it’s gonna look nice on you!” hana pushes your legs so she can sit beside you. “plus, i already ordered a taxi and it’ll be here in five minutes.”
“what?” you sit up with wide eyes.
“you better hurry and get this dress on!” hana grins at you, allowing for you to grab the dress and run off to your bedroom to change.
hana’s grin doesn’t leave her face, even when you’re sitting across from her at the table in some bar she’s chosen to take you to. since it’s friday night and you live in a popular school town- this bar is practically packed. you glance around nervously, always hating big crowds of people.
“so, what’s it like living with my brother so far?” hana asks you, sipping her drink through her straw.
“it’s fine.” you shrug, mimicking her actions with your own drink. maybe getting more alcohol in your system will take away your anxious thoughts.
“oh come on!” hana exclaims, “this is like the one hundredth time i’ve asked you and it’s always the same reply. and i’ve noticed you never even mention him to me either.”
“well what do you want me to say? living with him is fine, it’s normal.” you defend yourself, flashbacks of every not-so-normal roommate encounter you’ve had with her brother the past month and a half.
“well i mean do you talk to him?”
“hana, i kind of have to, because you know, we live together.” you roll your eyes at your best friend.
“well what do you talk about?”
“i- i don’t know! normal things! what’s this all about?”
hana shrugs and sits back into her seat, “nothing- it’s just ever since he moved in i don’t hear anything about him, like does he even still live there?”
“yes, he lives there.” you shove her legs with your foot playfully under the table, “and it’s just there’s nothing to say. we’re roommates- that’s it.”
“so you guys aren’t like, friends?” you think about it for a moment, are you and heeseung? friends? you suppose you see each other at some of your worsts, like right after waking up, or all sweaty from dancing. you share things about your day and food. but those are things that just come with being roommates. so, you shrug. “what do you mean? you’ve lived together for two months and aren’t friends?”
“well i don’t know! i haven’t asked him if we’re friends or anything- nothing like that has come up!”
“do you guys know things about each other? like share things like that?”
“yeah, some things.”
“like do you know who his stupid friends are?”
you think about it for a second. every time you’ve seen heeseung on campus he’s been by himself. and he’s only briefly mentioned jeongin a few times. so you’ve assumed to yourself that jeongin must be his best friend. “only jeongin. but i’ve never met him or anything.”
“ah jeongin!” hana nods, “yeah he’s one of the nice ones.”
you tilt your head, “what do you mean?”
“heeseung hangs around with the Sigma Fidi guys- the ones that are all born in 2001.”
“the ones that completely ruined the library last year?” your mouth drops open in memory of how the beloved library- the only place you could find peace- was entirely flipped upside down last year.
“yep, those guys.”
“oh my god!” you sat back in your chair in despair, “that took weeks to fix!”
“i know, i clearly remember how much you complained about it when it happened.” you ignore hana’s playful smile as you try to take in how someone as nice as heeseung could be friends with people who are capable of tearing apart such a beautiful place. “anyways, there’s the yang jeongin guy you’ve heard of. i guess him and heeseung have been friends for maybe ten years now?” so you’ve correctly assumed that they’re probably best friends. “and jaehyuk, beomgyu and theo. there’s more but those are the ones that heeseung usually hangs around with.”
“and all four of them ruined the library?” you ask hana, still not comprehending it all.
“mm, i think so.” hana nods, “i never really asked heeseung about it so.”
“oh.”
the music in the bar is suddenly louder, playing some song you’ve never heard of and are far too busy mentally to even decide if you like the song or not. you would’ve never thought that heeseung would be the one behind ruining your sanctuary last year. even after speaking to him about the library so many times! you remember how distraught your favourite librarian was when you walked in after opening hours. the books were pushed onto the floor and ripped. the tables, walls and ceiling had spray paint all over it. all the flowers that even you watered sometimes were ripped from their roots and dirt was mucked throughout the entire room. not even one bookshelf was together after being stepped on and smashed. you remember how much you struggled to find a calming place to sit at school for months afterwards.
“what’re you thinking about?” hana asks you, nudging her foot against your leg.
“nothing.”
“then let’s go dance!” before you can refuse, hana is pulling you up, leaving your drinks and table behind to enter the very crowded dance floor, pushing your new revelations of heeseung out of your mind, at least for awhile.
it was hours later, further into the night when you got back to yours and heeseung’s shared apartment. it was quiet and dark, as you expected since it was reaching 3am. your familiarity with the apartment was your only guidance to your bedroom.
within inches from your bedroom, you heard it.
a muted moan through the walls.
your entire body tensed and retracted your hand that was about to touch your bedroom’s door knob. a thump followed by a woman’s giggle from the other side of the hallway made you stand up straight. and then it was clear what was happening in your roommate’s bedroom.
you never expected heeseung to bring home someone. it was never even mentioned between you two. he’s never even brought home a friend before as they always just wait outside for him.
a deep, nauseous feeling overcomes you and you curse yourself for drinking tonight. without thinking much- only the vibrant thought of ‘i can’t be here anymore’ flashing in your mind, you turn back the way you came, catching a glimpse of high heels at the front door. you only stop when you’re in the lobby of your apartment.
the moonlight is filling up the entire room, bringing some comfort to you as tears start to well up in your eyes. you know the reason why you’re crying, but you refuse to accept it and blame it on the alcohol. you sit down on the small couches that the lobby holds for visitors, and accept your fate of sitting here for the rest of the night.
you didn’t know what to do. you couldn’t go to hana’s because then she’d obviously ask why you're upset. and what’re you gonna say? that you’re upset because you’ve developed a crush on your roommate that happens to be her brother and that the thought of him fucking another girl in your apartment makes you feel like you’re rotting from the inside out? that wouldn’t go well.
because you know how hana would feel to have trusted you to live with her brother just for you to ruin it all. she was never close with heeseung in the first place, so to have her best friend have feelings for him? it just seems out of the question. why would she want her best friend to date her basically estranged older brother? even after tonight, when she asked question after question about your relationship with heeseung, she seemed off. she seemed like she wanted to know that you and heeseung are just friends. you wouldn’t even put it past her to be secretly happy that you told her everything is just normal roommates between you two.
if only she knew how not normal it was. roommates don’t sleep with their heads on each other’s laps. they don’t drool over the other when they’re working out. their hearts don’t flip when they see each other in the hallways at school. and they most definitely don’t get upset when the other is fucking someone else.
you sigh frustratedly, swearing to wipe the last tear off of your cheek and rest your head on the arm rest of the small couch. it’s small enough for your legs to curl up on, but it does nothing from the small gushes of air that circulate your dress-clad body. you fight the urge to go to sleep, but soon give in, the last thought being of heeseung and the unknown betrayal he just carried out.
when you woke up, the pale moonlight had turned into a warm yellow glow.
which was being blocked by your apartment’s front desk worker, jongho. you sit right up when your sleepy mind clears and you realize he’s glaring right at you.
“good morning, y/n.” his monotone voice speaks to you.
“uh, hi, jongho.” you try to speak cheerfully to distract him from the fact you probably smell like alcohol and are passed out in the public lobby.
“have a good sleep?”
“uh, yeah! just wanted to see how comfy these couches are, you know?”
“no, i don’t know as i would think my own bed would be far more comfortable.”
you cringe at his words, standing up and avoiding eye contact as he scolds you. “yeah, i should go see just how comfortable my bed is- sorry.” you wave smally at him as you head to the elevator, wanting it to come faster as you could still feel jongho’s eyes on you as he makes his way back to his desk.
“have a good day, y/n.” he calls out to you when the elevator door closes with you inside. you only then let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding when his cold eyes leave your body.
out with that breath and in with the thoughts of what the hell you’re about to walk into as the elevator quickly takes you to your floor. you mumble a curse as you see the mess you look like in the elevator’s mirror. scrambling to fix your hair and wipe the fallen eyeliner as walk to your door.
your quick plan to quietly sneak into your bedroom and act as if you didn’t just freak out that heeseung was having sex with a girl and sleep on a basically public couch all night failed just as quickly as you thought of it.
as soon as you entered your apartment, lee heeseung was standing at the kitchen island, glaring at you with eyes almost as cold as jongho’s. “where the hell have you been?” your eyes catch the floor where you saw the high heels hours ago and take a mental sigh of relief when you see that they’re gone. she probably walked right past you when you were passed out on the couch. “hello?”
your body tenses again when heeseung’s tone matches his eyes. his hands stop mixing whatever’s in the bowl as he takes in your figure.
“i went out, to the bar with hana last night.” you reply, easing off your own high heels at the front door.
“and so you couldn’t answer a text? i was worried.”
it’s then that you realized you left your phone in your purse on the couch last night when you came home. mentally slapping yourself. “i forgot it, so i slept at hana’s.”
“i thought you said you never wanted to sleep in an apartment with jay and hana again?”
you shrug, not finding any humour this morning. “i was drunk.”
“ok, well i’m making eggs if you want some.”
you shake your head no as you whisk up your forgotten purse, “no thanks. i’m just going to go to sleep.”
“oh, ok.” heeseung’s tone drops, “see ya later then.”
you’re too upset to respond as you smell a woman’s perfume come from heeseung’s bedroom when you walk past. your bedroom is like a safeway for you as you close the door, your back sliding against it as your knees give up from under you. the events from last night seem too much for your body to take. first with hana interrogating you about heeseung, finding out heeseung’s friends are assholes and then hearing heeseung, your best friend’s brother that you have a crush on, have sex with someone else in your shared apartment. it felt like the world was against you.
you tiredly crawl around to slip on some sweatpants, throwing heeseung’s black and white flannel that you borrowed to the other side of your room that you stumbled on. when you crawl into your covers, ready for some sleep in your own bed you decide two things :
you need to make some distance between heeseung and you and
you’re never going to a bar again.
the last few weeks of fall in your once sanctuary of a home, turned into an awkward hell. it was easy to distance yourself from heeseung at first from your hours at the library and his hours spent choreographing for the dance concert. the apartment was usually empty until late hours of the night, which were spent solely for sleep until you woke up and left quietly again in the morning.
heeseung tried to speak to you at first, always asking if you wanted to watch a movie on the couch with him, or if you wanted another bowl of cereal. both things that you used to look forward to with heeseung, but had to turn down for the sake of your relationship with hana and heeseung. everytime you denied, you could see a deeper frown on heeseung’s face when he turned away.
his efforts to speak quickly faded just as quickly as he was denied. your only conversation was swift hi’s and byes as you passed each other at the front door. when both of you were home, which was rare, both of you stayed in your rooms.
you distracted yourself in your room with your studying, but hearing his laughter while he played video games with his friends echoing in the walls, only made you distracted with the thoughts of how much you missed his laugh and smile. but those thoughts were quickly fought with the fact that you should not miss your best friend’s brother’s laugh.
after a tiring day of classes and a shift at the library, you didn’t expect to come home to a bunch of boys lounging around your apartment. you hang your coat at the front door as all of their eyes land on you.
“hey, y/n!” heeseung’s cheery voice calls from the kitchen.
“uh, hey.” you respond, a shy smile spreading on your face as you greet everyone.
“these are my friends- jeongin, beomgyu and theo.” you smile as heeseung introduces them, all of them greeting in response politely. you try to pretend like hana didn’t show you pics of the Sigma Fidi members a few days ago so you know who exactly is sitting in your living room.
“heeseung you didn’t tell us your roommate was so pretty!” the one with long black hair who you recognize as yang jeongin speaks, his eyes almost sparkling as he speaks.
“yeah, you really are so pretty!” theo smiles at you. “isn’t she, hee?”
with the dim kitchen light, you can still see a hint of pink hit heeseung’s face as he continues to pour juice in a cup. “um, yeah- of course.” you felt exposed standing in your own living room and you quickly wanted to get to your peaceful bedroom and away from this group forming.
jeongin tsks at his best friend’s response, “c’mon heeseung, make it seem more meaningful than that!”
heeseung stops pouring and looks up at you, taking in your pink cheeks of embarrassment and the cold, fall wind before quickly glancing back to his friends, “she’s really pretty.”
“that’s it!” theo laughs tossing his head back to laugh at how embarrassed his friend looks. “if you’re gonna compliment someone, you gotta mean it.”
the apartment goes silent as you try to decipher what you should do next.
just as you’re about to beeline it to your bedroom after offering a quick goodnight, beomgyu speaks from his side of the couch, “oh and y/n!”
you turn, forcing an awkward smile on your face, “yeah?”
“thanks for letting me sleep over a few weeks ago.” his smile beams up at you.
“you slept over?” you ask him, confusing covering your face at the news.
“uh, yeah… the night jaehyuk had a party i came back here with chaeryeong and passed out.”
“the night of jaehyuk’s party…” you speak out loud, trying to comprehend what you were hearing.
“yeah, the night you went out with hana… i slept in your bed that night, that's why i was worried you didn’t come home.” heeseung speaks up from the kitchen. “i never got a chance to tell you i slept there… sorry.”
“oh…” you place your hand on your head… so it wasn’t heeseung having sex in his bedroom that night- it was beomgyu, “no, it’s fine, yeah.”
“are you okay?” jeongin asks you, a worried expression on his face.
“yeah, i just- yeah i’m good- just a long day so i’m gonna go to bed.”
“alright, it was nice meeting you!” theo waves to you, which is followed by the other three saying goodnight, too.
in your bedroom you had to fight the urge to laugh. the amount of relief you had now that you learnt heeseung hasn’t fucked someone. it was laughable how worried you got for something that could’ve been easily avoided. if you had just gone into your bedroom that night you would’ve found heeseung awake in your bed, waiting for your return. the thought of heeseung laying in your bed makes you wonder what he thought of your room. if he liked the smell of your sheets or perfume. if he even paid attention to those details about you.
the group of boys laughing in the living room makes you move from your bedroom door, suddenly extra ready for bed now that something that has been eating at you for weeks is finally cleared up. you crawl into bed, wondering if heeseung had put his head where yours is, and you wonder if it’s okay to think of your roommate this way.
soon after, you decided that you can’t avoid heeseung forever, and honestly it was getting tiring trying to stay away from him. so, instead of heading to the library to study for hours after your last class of the day– you headed home. you could feel your cozy blanket on your body the more you got closer to your apartment. you imagined eating a bowl of ramen in bed before taking an afternoon nap as soon as you got home.
the thought of heeseung being home not in your plan for the day as you assumed he would be at one of his many dance classes, or teaching his new choreography to the other dancers for the concert that was quickly approaching. you wonder what heeseung will say when he sees you home before him for once. you giggle to yourself when you try to imagine the look on his face.
when you open your apartment door, you quickly realize that the afternoon you had planned was in fact, not happening. the tv was turned off as heeseung sat on the couch. the sunlight from the large window panning onto him as he sat with his back completely against the cushion. his head was tilted back, his brown hair shaggy on his head, desperately needing a haircut that you didn’t want. his brown, bambi eyes were closed and his mouth hung open.
it only took a second for you to notice the rest of him, his body shaking and panting. your eyes glance down to where his hand was wrapped around his cock. the red tip oozing precum as heeseung continued to jerk himself off. your mouth opened, wanting to say something– anything, but you couldn’t. you knew this image of heeseung would forever be ingrained into your brain, but you can’t look away at how beautiful he looks, with each droplet of sweat catching on the sunlight.
your body rests on the right side of your body, moving the door an inch– the perfect inch that makes the door squeak, causing heeseung’s eyes to fly open. when they meet you, they widen, curses flying out of his mouth. “oh y/n! fuck!”
you turn your head, your hand covering your eyes, “sorry! sorry! i didn’t see anything!” you hear heeseung scrambling around, probably pulling his pants up and knocking things over in his surprised state. you felt your heart rate speed up, a feeling of anxiety taking over and you decide that you can’t take this right now and slam the front door after you. you’re practically running down the hallway of your apartment building, taking the stairs down instead of waiting for the slow elevator, needing to get away from this situation fast. because there’s just no way you just watched heeseung masturbate.
this is definitely not normal for roommates.
you head to the library and stay there until closing, trying to study and distract yourself from the image you saw earlier. but it seemed like every ten seconds, the thought of heeseung masturbating would pop into your head.
it was the way that heeseung seemed to be so close to his climax, his low grunts frequent as soon as you stepped in the door. the light sheen of sweat covering his face as he focused on the pleasure he was giving himself. his chest moving erratically as he struggled to catch his breath. he looked gorgeous and overwhelmed at the same time, triggering something inside of you that you’ve never thought of before.
the more you thought about heeseung masturbating, the more you could feel your panties getting wet. when it was closing time you could only sigh, thinking how now you have to walk home uncomfortably and how this wasn’t the first time heeseung had made your panties uncomfortably soaked.
you didn’t know what would await you this time you came in the front door, but you were glad that it was dark and silent. no group of boys, no heeseung attempting to cook and no hana who had forgotten something at the apartment again.
you lied in bed, wanting to go to sleep to forget this long day. but the uncomfortableness in your panties couldn’t go away. there was something swirling in the bottom of your stomach and you knew it was all because of heeseung.
your hand naturally finds its way in your panties, gasping quietly when you feel just how wet you are. your fingers basically slip through and catch all of your juices. within a second your fingers are circulating your clit in small circles, imagining heeseung was in your bed again, but this time with you. you imagine that he’s whispering for you to cum for him, that he wants to see you cum. you try to imagine what he’d look like laying beside you, watching you pleasure yourself to the thought of him.
but then it only takes a second for you to give up. the pleasure you’re seeking can only be satisfied with heeseung yourself. your eyes open and you groan out into your dark bedroom, frustrated with yourself and heeseung. you turn onto your side, eyes closing again, but this time for sleep, just wanting to forget this whole day happened.
you don’t think you were asleep for long when you woke up to a bump. you lay there, trying to listen for another and then you hear your bedroom door open and a whisper of your name. “are you awake?”
your roll over, eyes squinting as you look up to find heeseung standing at your bedroom door, “yeah. you woke me up.”
“oh i’m so sorry,” heeseung pouts at you, you hear the slur in his voice when he speaks louder and you catch the way he’s holding onto the door knob tightly.
“it’s fine– are you alright?” you ask him, sitting up on your elbows now as you take in his composure.
“mm-yeah. i was just- i’m really sorry- about what happened, uh earlier. and i just-.”
“it’s fine heeseung, if it's bothering you then we can talk about it in the morning.” you tell him, putting a smile on your face.
“well, okay, but i, i was wondering if i could sleep with you, in here. i just, yeah.”
“you want to sleep in my bed with me?” you ask him confused.
“yeah, i went out with beomgyu and jeongin and i told them and they laughed at me so i drank a lot and now, now i just want to lay with you.”
you take a deep breath before pulling the corner of your blanket over, “come on.”
“really?” heeseung asks excitedly.
you smile at his reaction, “yes, come on, i’m tired.”
within a second heeseung was lying beside you. there was only an inch of space between your warm bodies. it only took another second for heeseung to roll over and lay his arm over your stomach. he exhales into your neck before he speaks, “i’m so, so sorry for earlier, and for now since im so wasted.”
you laugh silently, causing his body to bounce from your movements “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
another beat of silence passes between you and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep until he speaks again, “will you play with my hair this time?”
“this time?”
“yeah, when i was laying on your lap i saw that you were about to, but then you stopped.”
“i thought you were asleep for that.”
you feel heeseung smile against your ribcage, “well i was, but i was awake for that part. why’d you stop?”
you shift under him, not knowing how to feel about his observation, “well, because we’re roommates, and i don’t know if roommates play with each other’s hair when they’re supposed to be sleeping.” you flick his forehead playfully.
“we’re more than just roommates.” heeseung replies, a slight slur onto his words as his lips are meshed against your body.
“are we?”
“yeah.”
you sigh, knowing that you really won’t be able to sleep now, but you need to know, “then what are we?”
your bedroom goes silent again, but you know heeseung isn’t asleep. his fingers are tracing tapping onto your side and you want to ask him what song is stuck in his head this time, you wonder if it's the song he’s choreographing for the dance concert.
“i don’t know, but it’s more than roommates.” he finally answers, gulping loudly after he speaks.
you decide you’ve heard enough for the night then and turn around in his arms so your back is turned to him. he only takes a second for you to get comfortable before he’s tightening his grip on your waist and pulling you into his chest. you can feel his heartbeat slowing on your back and you know the alcohol has finally taken over and he’s passed out.
the final thought your mind gives before your own slumber takes over is that you hope heeseung sleeps in your bed again.
when you wake up again, the sun is pouring onto your face and your bed is cold and empty. you sigh and sit up, glancing around your room. when your eyes land on your clock you jolt out of bed, realizing that you’re going to be late to class.
you scurry around your room, picking up heeseung’s flannel that you threw across the room a few weeks ago and throwing it over your tank top. in a flash, you’re out of your shared apartment and running to your class, hoping to not miss something important.
like usual, you’re headed to the library to study after your long class. thankfully, your professor only gave you a stern look when you walked into class late. you managed to not think about heeseung until your phone started vibrating on the table underneath your textbook.
“hello?’ you speak into the phone.
“hey, where are you right now?” heeseung asks you, his voice no longer slurring like the night before.
“at the library.”
“right, i could’ve guessed that.”
“hey!” you whine playfully with a pout that he couldn’t see.
his sweet laughter echoes through the line, “well, i think you should pack up now anyways.”
“what, why?”
suddenly your textbook is being slammed shut and lifted up. you drop your phone to your lap, ready to reprimand the person who’s stealing your textbook. but stop when you see heeseung’s cheesy grin looking down at you, “because we’re going home, c’mon.” heeseung turns with your textbook, leaving you to scramble once again and shove the rest of your things into your bag, catching up to him quickly.
before you leave, you catch the librarian giving heeseung a detached expression as she watches him walk out of the library and you gulp, remembering that he and his friends were the ones to disturb it only a year ago.
when you entered your shared apartment, heeseung finally handed you your textbook back after threatening to throw it if you didn’t hurry up the entire jog home. you’re about to give him a snarky thank you, but stop when you realize the living room is filled with the scent of your favourite food.
“chinese food?” you question, your eyes landing on the food on the coffee table, plates and chopsticks laid out as well. the couch has pillows and blankets, and the candles that were covered in dust are now lit. “what’s all this?” your eyes are filled with amusement as heeseung takes off your coat for you and hangs it up.
heeseung shrugs, “i just thought we could have dinner and a movie together, like we used to.” there’s a shy smile on his face as he avoids your eye contact.
“that actually sounds great.”
heeseung grabs your wrist, “then c’mon, let’s eat.”
heeseung sits in his usual place on the couch, lifting the blanket for you to sit down beside him and you start to dig in. he puts on Howl’s Moving Castle quietly and leans back into the couch cushion. it would feel like a normal night between you and your roommate, one that you used to look forward to after a long day of classes, but now, both of you can tell that there’s a heavy burden in the silence between you.
thankfully, heeseung is the one to break it, “look y/n, i’m going to be honest–,” you finish your last bite food and look over at him, his face curled up with anxiety before he continues, “i did all this as some sort of apology for how things have been these past couple of weeks. and for what happened yesterday.”
you sigh, “don’t worry about yesterday, i know you didn’t think i would be home because well, i haven’t been properly home in weeks, and that’s my fault.” you shift uncomfortably in your usual comfortable place on the couch and decide to let out what has been weighing you down for weeks. “it’s just- can i ask you something, heeseung?”
“of course,” heeseung bites the inside of his cheek out of nervousness, “anything.”
“was it you and your friends that destroyed the library last year?”
“what?” heeseung’s face contorts in confusion.
“well you know, the Sigma Fidi guys, did they really destroy the library?”
heeseung laughs suddenly and it makes you whip your head to look at him. anger washes over you as your roommate laughs at you, and you cover your body with your arms, huffing as you let him laugh. “what’re you talking about, y/n? you really think i, or jeongin or even theo! could destroy a library? why would we even do that?”
“w-well, it was just, hana-.” you stammer out, feeling awful now that you’ve literally accused heeseung and his friends of a crime.
heeseung laughs again at the mention of his sister, “hana told you that it was the Sigma Fidi guys who destroyed it?” he rolls his eyes at your confirmation nod, “hana always gets the frat’s names mixed up! it wasn’t us who destroyed the library, it was the Sigma Drakos who did it! all the guys born in 2000!”
“oh my god!” you slap your hand on your forehead as you sit back on the couch cushion. all these weeks of worrying that the guy you had a crush on destroyed your favourite place– just because your best friend can’t remember the name of a frat! you laugh with heeseung now, both of you now realizing how appalling the accusation was. “i’m so sorry!”
heeseung waves it off, “it’s fine– is that why you’ve been avoiding me? because you thought I destroyed the library? because i really would never do that. especially since i know how precious the library is to you.”
“well, that’s part of it.” the smile falls from your face as you find twirling your fingers together more interesting.
“what’s the other part?”
you gulp at heeseung’s question, not even mentally preparing yourself for your next words before you speak, “i thought- at first– that you had sex with some girl and i heard it, but then it turns out that it was beomgyu! but that set me off because i didn’t think i should be so worried about my best friend’s brother having sex with another girl…”
your apartment goes silent as joe hisaishi plays in the background. both of you stare off at Howl jumps off with Sophie. you wonder if heeseung will say anything, or if it’s his turn to avoid you for months now. with each burning second of silence, your calm facade begins to fade and your true interior of anxiety starts to shine through. your leg starts bouncing quickly, trying to relieve some of the anxious tension filling your body. could you deal with heeseung avoiding you for months? could you still live in this apartment if he moved out tomorrow? could you manage to see his pretty smile on campus?
“is that i’ll ever be to you? your best friend’s brother and your roommate?” heeseung finally asks quietly, interrupting Howl’s current dialogue. your leg stops bouncing as he speaks, wanting to hear every word of his perfectly.
“what do you mean?” you ask warily, not understanding what he wanted to hear. the truth of your real feelings for him? or the safety net of that there’s nothing between you two, just normal roommates?
“i mean,” heeseung sighs and brushes his bangs out of his face, “i mean, i want more than just catching a glimpse of you out the door everyday. i want more than whatever’s been going on recently. i don’t care if you’re friends with hana or not, i just want more of you.”
the silence between you two continues as you process his words. your relationship with his sister means nothing to him. and you wonder if it should mean nothing to you too when you thought of your relationship with heeseung. maybe it would be okay to be more than just normal roommates with him after all.
“alright.” you give finally.
“alright?” heeseung questions you.
“alright we can go back to the way we were, we can see more of each other.”
“really?” heeseung sits up from the couch. with your nod, he’s suddenly jumping from one side of the couch to the other, throwing his arms around you. you laugh as you wrap your own arms around him, allowing yourself to be surrounded with his warmth with no worries for the first time. he only held on tighter when he realized you hugged him back. “i’m so glad! i missed you so much! and– oh,” heeseung retracts his body from your own, his hands gripping your shoulders as he looks at you, “one more thing.”
“what is it?’ you grumble out.
“we’re having a party this friday.”
“what?” you jerk back from him, making his hands go limp in his lap. “why?”
“because exams will be over then! so we should celebrate!” heeseung speaks with an obvious tone.
you cross your hands over your chest, “is this why you got me chinese food? so i’d be more agreeable to having a party this week?”
heeseung’s hand scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “well, no, but kinda.” you give him an unimpressed look. “so… yeah? we’ll have a party? please?”
you give in when he pouts at you, “fine.” and then you’re pulled into a bone crushing hug as he thanks you for ‘being the best roommate ever’.
“is this my flannel?” heeseung asks in your ear.
“um, yeah?”
heeseung only laughs melodically, not letting you go.
both of you go to bed when Howl’s Moving Castle is over. properly saying goodnight to each other for the first time in months. while you lay down, you wonder how the party will go this weekend. you wonder how hana will react to seeing how close you and heeseung really are. you wonder if she’ll notice that you have feelings for her older brother.
you try to push those thoughts away as you try to fall asleep for the night, and replace them with the memories you made tonight with heeseung.
friday night came fast.
you spent all week studying and then taking your exams, which you think went well. heeseung spent his afternoons practicing for the dance concert, but always made it home early enough to eat dinner and watch a movie with you. it was nice to see him so much again. the bond between you felt closer and tighter than ever before. and the fire in your heart only grew stronger for him.
little touches of each other grew into subtle hand holding during movies under blankets. his head always seemed to fall into your lap after he was done eating. soft compliments of each other were more frequently exchanged than not, always causing a pink dash to spread across your cheeks. it would’ve felt perfect if there wasn’t that nagging feeling in the back of your head that hana wouldn’t like this.
hana was in fact invited to the party that you and heeseung were holding. alongside the rest of the Sigma Fidi boys and their friends, and their friends and their friends. you were worried that your small apartment wouldn’t be able to hold everyone. but, even though winter was finally here, and outside was beginning to look like a sheet of white cloth, people went out on your balcony, chatting like everyone else.
by the time the party was in full swing, you were already feeling drunk. before everyone showed up, you and heeseung took a few shots together. you had to, because when heeseung stepped out of his bedroom, dressed in a nice silk button up, you knew you would be dead meat for the rest of the night. you also couldn’t ignore the way heeseung’s eyes wouldn’t shy away from trailing up your bare legs from the dress you borrowed from hana tonight.
theo, beomgyu and jeongin didn’t shy away from complimenting you tonight either, like they ever do. but they were definitely more sober than you, and having fun watching you drunkenly talk about the library, living with heeseung and how you miss living with hana.
“you talking about me?” hana suddenly asks as she appears and sits beside you, jay following her.
“no, never.” you playfully grin at her, laughing when she gently nudges you. the rest of the boys start greeting jay, who they apparently haven’t seen much of since he’s moved in with hana. “i’m going to get another drink.” you tell hana beside you.
“i’ll come with you,” jeongin says from across the coffee, you smile and give your hand out, letting him hold onto it to follow you into the kitchen. jeongin and you speak about nothing but everything while you pour each other drinks. he’s funny, and he’s good looking, and you’ve never noticed it before. the dim lights you and heeseung put up around the apartment make jeongin’s eye’s sparkle every time he drunkenly laughs. “do you want to go dance?” you don’t say no when he asks.
you’re in the middle of your living room, dancing with people who you assume are friends with either heeseung or hana, and jeongin’s grip is tight on your waist. you’re both laughing as you continue to jump around close to each other. you think his cologne smells a lot like heeseung’s. you felt jeongin’s hands slide from your waist to your ass, pulling you closer to his chest and you both continued to dance.
the music starts to fade out once you realize how close you are to jeongin, and focus on his movement and his laughter that doesn’t seem to stop. you’re both unaware of the envious eyes watching both of you.
suddenly, jeongin is being pulled away from you, and you stumble a bit to catch yourself since you were leaning so much of your weight onto him.
“what the hell?” jeongin turns angrily, but stops when he sees that it’s heeseung, “oh, hey. what’s up?”
heeseung shrugs, “i think y/n’s drank too much tonight.”
“what? no i haven’t!” you speak up with a whine.
“you only ever dance when you’re wasted.” heeseung points out, and it makes you mentally drunk-check yourself. heeseung pats jeongin on the back, “plus it’s almost 3 so i think it’s time everyone heads out.” you don’t hear what jeongin’s reply is as you turn and look for hana. she’s sitting where you left her not too long ago, but on top of jay now.
your eyes squint when the apartment’s lights are flicked on and the music shuts off. everyone groans before heeseung’s voice cuts through, saying that it’s been fun, but they gotta go. you wave bye to the people that you recognize. hugging jeongin when he walks past, laughing when he twirls you around, oblivious to heeseung’s eye roll.
“at least you seemed to have fun.” heeseung’s voice rings out behind you as you shut the door.
you turn and see your roommate leaned up against the kitchen island, arms crossed over his chest with a displeased look on his face.
“yeah, i did. and so what?” you huff at him, starting to head straight for your bedroom, “sorry you hate seeing me have fun.”
heeseung’s hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, stopping you from moving forward, “y/n.” your name sounds so desperate coming from him. “sorry, i didn’t mean it like that- i’m, i’m just–.”
“just what, heeseung?” you rip your wrist out of his grip. “why can’t i dance with jeongin? and why’d you have to tell everyone i drank too much, why do you even care how much i drink?”
heeseung’s face drops and it makes you scoff, turning around again to head to your room, “y/n!” heeseung reaches forward, so both of his hands are on each of your shoulder, forcing you to look at him, “please, just let me talk for a second.”
you sigh, but give into his bambi coloured eyes, “fine.”
heeseung lets out a breath, “i- i care, because i like you. i like you a lot.” a small gasp leaves your mouth at his confession, “i like that you’re shy when it comes to physical touch, i like that you’d make yourself blind just to finish an assignment– i like how passionate you are about libraries and books and writings! i like, everything about you.”
your heart started beating at heeseung’s words, a rush of emotions washes over you as you stand before him. his confession has taken you completely by surprise. you had never thought lee heeseung would have actual feelings for you– his little sister’s best friend, and his roommate.
you felt your cheeks turn pink as you looked into his serious, genuine eyes. you force yourself to respond to him, “heeseung, i didn’t know you felt this way. i wasn’t expecting this at all.” you hear heeseung gulp as his hands start to loosen on your arms. “but, i care about you, heeseung. more than i can put into words. i like you, heeseung. more than you’ll ever truly know.”
heeseung’s face instantly lit up with your words, his beautiful smile taking up his entire face. “y/n, you seriously mean so much to me, and i, i want to be more than just your stupid roommate.”
“hee, i want that, too.”
heeseung removes his hands from your arms and carefully place them on your cheeks, cradling your face, bringing your faces closer to each other. you swallow harshly as your lips brush together for the first time. you instantly feel the connection you thought you had just been imaging soar through your veins.
time seemed slow in that exact moment. it was just you and heeseung, kissing each other. kissing the only other person who truly understands you and never judges you. the kiss symbolized just the beginning of your relationship with heeseung.
when you pull away, you watch the adoration fade from heeseung’s eyes, and is replaced by deep lust. the alcohol had finally hit him, and now you could tell he was feeling the same emotions you were. you were needy, desperate and wanted to feel him inside of you so bad.
with no hesitation, heeseung picks you up, making you squeal out his name as he takes you to your bedroom. he plops you down into your sapphire sheets, making your body bounce slightly on the mattress.
“god, you have no idea how bad i’ve wanted- needed this,” heeseung says, ripping his silk shirt over his head and tossing it on the ground.
“oh, i bet i do.” you tell him honestly, knowing that you’ve wanted him since the first day he stepped foot into your apartment.
heeseung chuckles and smashed his lips onto yours, slipping his tongue so easily into your mouth to explore. your tongues mesh together, heeseung’s hips grinding into yours.
“why did you never do anything about it if you needed it so bad?” you ask him curiously, his lips trailing down your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. heeseung groans into it, his hands rushing up to cup your cheeks again as he looks into your eyes.
“i didn’t know you wanted it, too. thought you’d always just see me as your roommate or something,” heeseung admits, leaning down to kiss you again. your lips feel swollen from all the kissing, but you could care less, as long as it was because of heeseung.
“i do want it- i have wanted it.”
heeseung shakes his head at in you in disbelief, “i’m gonna fuck you so good, y/n.”
“please, hee, i want it so bad.” you don’t care if you sound desperate, because you are– and so is heeseung. he smashes his lips against yours once more, this time the kiss is just as despeate and needy as you are. his fingers start to pull down the top of your dress, revealing your breasts.
you can’t stop your head from falling back as heeseung sucks your nipple into his mouth. his tongue starts circling and prodding your nipples. you let a small whine fall past your lips as you glance down at the man. you let your hands trace down his bare back, finally able to touch his skin after months of being teased by it.
“hee,” his nickname is so soft coming from your lips. he’s always loved hearing you say his nickname, but hearing it as he pleasures you was something he thought he could have only ever dreamed of.
“such pretty tits,” he mumbles as he presses one last kiss to your nipple before he’s grabbing a handful of your thighs and flipping you over onto your stomach. you squeal out his name at the sudden, forced movement. heeseung pushes up your dress so it bunches at your hips, and pulls your soaked panties to the side. “you sure you want to do this, y/n?”
you gasp out, “yes, heeseung, please.”
with your confirmation, heeseung pushes his finger into your wet folds. you both groan at the feeling. you’re so soft and warm and he can’t believe how fucking wet you are. you helplessly whine into your bedroom, your grip on your sheets tightens as he slowly starts to move his middle finger in and out of you.
“fuck, baby, you’re so tight.” heeseung graosnas his vision is completely taken over by the sight of his finger disappearing into your squishy walls. he wonders when was the last time you’ve been fucked, he’s never seen you with any other guy– or girl. but your pussy is so tight, he conjectured if his cock would fit or not.
heeseung’s fingers are much more long and slender than your own, letting him reach places you’ve never been able to when you think about him late at night. he slips in a second finger alongside his middle finger, and they both start to massage the pad of your gspot. you slowly feel yourself start to reach your peak so you slip your own hand down to your clit.
heeseung groans at your actions, watching both of your hands work to make yourself feel so good. he feels himself get harder as your cries increase in volume. both of your hands are moving in sync, your hips are bucking up for more. heeseung wants to see you cum all over his fingers so bad.
“hee, fuck– so close.”
when heeseung slips in a third finger you know you’re about to cum any second, and so does heeseung. he feels your walls get even tighter some how and start to pulsate around his fingers. he can’t take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. your fingers wet from rubbing such fast, small circles over your clit. and your juices slipping down his hand from his three fingers fucking inside of you.
“c’mon baby, cum for me– i wanna see my good girl cum for me.” heeseung coaxes you to an orgasm. your eyes lock together as you hit your high. your body stills as your pussy starts to uncontrollably flutter around his fingers. your cries are mixed with his name, and soft grunts of praise from heeseung.
heeseung slows his pace to let you breathe from your climax. he carefully slips his fingers out of you, and you wince as your pussy tries to flail against nothing now, so spread open from his fingers.
you watch as heeseung insert his fingers into his mouth, watching to catch all your juices. his eyes close at your taste, his tongue pressing all over his fingers.
“heeseung,” you whine from you position on the bed.
he pops out his fingers as he looks at you, “what, baby?’
“please, fuck me. want your cock inside me.”
heeseung bites his lip as he leans over top of you, “you sure you can handle that when you’re already so fucked out?”
“yes, heeseung, i can, please.”
heeseung laughs at you, his hand coming down to brush his thumb over your swollen lips, “you’re so polite, baby. how could i say no to you?”
you relax back onto the bed as you let heeseung pull down your dress and panties and toss them onto the floor. your bare body makes heeseung shiver at your beauty and he can’t take his eyes off of you as he starts to take off his own pants.
heeseung’s hard, swollen cock springs up and hits his stomach. you can’t help but marvel at it as you take it in. it’s definitely the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen. the small veins that traces up his length to his red tip. drops of precum were already falling down his shaft, and it only made you want him inside of you more.
“uh,” heeseung suddenly sounds nervous as he looks at you, “do you have a condom?” you shake your head no, “shit, beomgyu took my last ones.”
you sit up, “that’s ok, i mean. we’re both clean right?”
“yeah, i am.”
“and you can pull out?” you tease him gently.
heeseung rolls his eyes but smiles, “yes, y/n, i can pull out.”
you try to contain your excitement as heeseung crawls on top of you. you position your legs so they’re encircling his waist. he slowly rolls his hips forward, so the tip of his cock slides in between your pussy lips.
“fuck,” you let out quietly as his cocks slides so easily between your walls, filling you right up. your breathing is already staggered from the intrusion. you’re fighting for your eyes to stay on heeseung’s as the pleasure already feels too much.
you manage to watch as heeseung’s teeth are gritting against themselves and his eyebrows are knitted together. he tries to steady himself to ease you into the stretch his cock is giving you. but its hard when you’re so warm and soft, your walls feel like velvet to him.
when your whines start to pick up, so does heeseung’s pace. your perked nipples are rubbing against his chest with the motion of his hips and the bed.
“you feel so big, hee, i love it so much.” you tell him genuinely. heeseung leans his head down to press his lips into yours. you try to kiss him back as best as you could.
your lips are wet and swollen when he pulls away, “your pussy’s gripping me so tight, baby, never wanna pull out.” his cock is hitting your g spot everytime, and you can only loosely smile at him in response.
heeseung seems to understand you anyways, and starts thrusting into you faster. a loud moan escapes your lips and it mixes with the wet, squelching noises.
“fuck, listen to how wet you are.” heeseung tells you, his own eyes rolling to the back of his head. “f-feels, so good, baby.”
your head is thrown deep into your mattress, feeling no control over the rest of your body as you let heeseung pleasure you. “i-i know.” you tell him honestly and breathlessly.
“wanted this for so long, and now this pussy’s mine, right baby?” his voice comes out in grunts as he matches his thrusts to his words.
you nod loosely, “all yours, hee. just yours.” your voice sounds nothing like it usually does, and it makes heeseung’s cock grow bigger inside of her. the thought that only him and his cock can make you so drunk turns him on so fucking much.
both of you can feel how sticky and wet it is where your bodies meet, and it only makes you lust after each other and your highs more. you’re both sweating and can see it drip down his line of abs that you want to lick so badly. they’re strong and prominent from dancing and you can’t help but reach out and drag your fingers down them lightly– so different from how hard and fast he is pounding into you.
heeseung’s grunts ring in your ear, and you mewl out to him to keep going.
“yeah? you like how i fuck you, baby? like how my cock streches you out?”
you nod eagerly, knowing he understands just how you’re feeling. you moan with every thrust he gives you, whines that only edge heeseung to fuck you faster. he wants to hear every moan you’re able to give.
“s-so big,” is all you can tell him.
“yeah, think you can feel me in your stomach?” heeseung asks you, moving his hand from your thigh to press down on your lower abdomen. “feel me right there, baby?”
you cry out his name at the pressure. your hand moves to grip his wrist, “fuck me harder like that, please. i s- so close. please.” you beg him, tasting the climax on your tongue at this point.
heeseung’s hand lands on her throat, choking her as he starts to use all his force to fuck into you. your body is jolting the bed back and forth as heeseung pounds into you. your whines turn into sobs as you feel your orgasm hit you. your body stills and your lack of oxygen makes your head feel fuzzy as heeseung continues to fuck yu through your orgasm.
“that’s it, cum on my cock like a good girl.” his voice is in your ear, praising you for squeezing your wet walls around him so good.
when your orgasm starts to fade and you enter a fuzzy state with your pupils blown out, all you can think of is how badly you want heeseung’s cum. so, with hooded eyes you wrap your arm around his neck so he can look right into your eyes.
“please cum inside of me, hee. wanna feel your cum so bad.” you whine out to him, lips pouted just begging for him to kiss them. heeseung grunts before he does just that. smashing your lips together as he continues his thrusts of pounding into you.
“a-are you sure you want me to cum inside?” his voice is breathless when he speaks. he’s too focused on how your pussy is even wetter from your orgasm, and how he could just slip out any second.
“yes, hee, please. want you to make me pregant.” you speak before you could even think properly, “want you to fuck a baby inside of me.”
“h-holy shit.” heesung sputters out, surprised by how turned on your words got him. he never knew he had a breeding kink– and well, neither did you until now. “you drive me so fucking crazy, baby.” your whimpers and moans encourage heeseung to continue. he swears he’s never been so turned on in his life. “g-gonna get your tummy so full, and swollen.”
heeseung’s pace doesn’t let up until he reaches his peak. his hips still as he releases his cum inside of you, his body practically laying ontop of you as you make out. you feel his warm cum fill you up. you continue to makeout until you feel heeseung’s cock completely soften.
heeseung’s careful to pull out of you, not wanting to overstimulate you. even though he’s gentle, you still squirm as your pussy readjusts to not having his cock inside of you. both of you watch with eager, hooded eyes as his white, cum drains out of you and onto your thighs, making them more of a mess.
“jesus christ that’s so hot,” heeseung mumbles to himself, choosing to ignore the twitch of his dick at the sight. you giggle at him as you relax back into your sapphire sheets. “i’ll buy you plan b in the morning, i swear.”
you shrug against your mattress, “i mean it wouldn’t be the worse thing to have your baby.” heeseung stops pulling on his boxers as he looks at you with eyes. “sorry,” you cringe, “i think that was the orgasm bliss talking.”
heeseung chuckles and leans back over your body from where he stands, “i wanna have a baby with you y/n, but maybe lets wait until we’ve dated for more than an hour.”
“oh, so we’re dating now?” you tease him, wiggling your eyebrows.
“uh, i mean, if you, if you want to. you can say no, but i uh,”
“heeseung,” you place your hand over his mouth, “shut up. yes i’ll date you.”
heeseung rips your hand off of his mouth and jumps onto you, pressing his lips to yours quickly out of excitement. he starts to press random kisses all over your face and neck, listening to your laughs to tell him to stop, but he doesn’t of course.
“i’m so happy.” he tells your seriously.
“me, too.” you smile, but then wince when you try to move your leg.
“shit, stay here, i’m gonna get something to clean your legs.” heeseung presses a kiss into your temple as he flies out your bedroom door and to your shared bathroom to wet a cloth.
without the boy in your bed, you easily fall asleep on your mattress. no worries on your shoulders for once as your breathing calms down. you drift off before heeseung can even come back. but, you know he will be.
the morning sun filtered through the curtains and onto your sleeping bodies wrapped in your sapphire sheets. you realize that your once naked body was no buttoned up in the black and white flannel you stole from heeseung all those months ago when he first moved in.
heeseung’s arm was wrapped around your core, pulling you into his chest as he continued to sleep. you watch him for a while, not believing that he was finally more than a roommate to you, more than, uh oh, your best friend’s older brother. suddenly, you’re filled with anxiety as you watch the peaceful boy sleep.
as if he could somehow sense your shift in mood, heeseung’s bambi eyes open and look at you. a soft smile on his lips once he realizes that you’re also awake and still wrapped in his arms. but, his smile drops when he catches the worry that is covering your face.
“what did we do last night?” you ask him, your eyes search his for help.
heeseung sighs, his morning voice comes out deep in your ear as he speaks, “nothing wrong, y/n.” his hand comes up and brushes your disshelved hair out of your face, “i like you, and you like me. you don’t regret it do you?”
you shake your head against your pillow, “no, i don’t regret anything about it or you.” you admit to him, trying to hide the shy smile that plays on your lips for a second, “but what are we going to tell hana, she’s going to be so mad at me.”
suddenly, just as the sleep was finally leaving your body, your bedroom door bursts open, and lee hana stood there, her arms crossed over her chest.
“shit,” heeseung grumbled as he looked at his sister.
“well, well, well, look who’s all cozy in y/n’s bed.” hana’s voice is loud like usual as she speaks.
“hana!” you sit up on your elbows, “this isn’t what it looks like, i mean-.”
hana’s laugh cuts you off, “relax y/n. jay and i totally fell asleep in heeseung’s bed last night and i think i heard your little… adventure.” she winks at you, “i knew you two would hit it off eventually.”
“what were you guys doing in my bed?” heeseung asks, but his question goes unanswered.
“hana, i, i can’t believe this.”
hana chuckles and leaned against the doorframe, “well i did warn you that heeseung would be a catch since he’s exactly like me.” she says with a mischievous gleam in her eye. “now, i think you guys are gonna have to resign the lease together before it’s up.”
you and heeseung exchange amused glances, the thought obviously appealing to you. your worries that have been on your mind since the day you met heeseung have now finally, finally faded as hana accepts your relationship. the relationship hana somehow knew would happen before you did. it seemed like your life was taking an unexpected but perfect turn as you laughed and teased hana to go back to her own apartment for once.
you smile at heeseung, happy that he’s no longer just your roommate, or your best friend’s hot older brother, but he’s your boyfriend. you’re soulmate. your connection, grown through late movie nights, chinese takeout and stupid misunderstandings is strong, and wonderful.
and you’re so glad that lee hana moved out.
@ taeghi, 2023. do not repost or reuse in anyway.
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)
stay safe everyone :)
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Babysitter - Part 2
Pairing: dad!Toji x babysitter!reader
Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Word Count: ~3.8k
cw: age gap (reader is 21, Toji is in his 30s), explicit language, cheating, pregnancy, smut – PIV sex (doggy style)
Summary: You deal with the aftermath of your summer babysitting job turned adulterous summer scandal.
Author’s Notes: Thanks for all the kind words and support on Part 1 of this! I hope you enjoy part 2, and who knows, maybe I'll write a part 3 one day lol. Thanks for reading! Divider credit to @/fic-dumpster.
Taglist: @scorpiosugar @diegojeanne @f4irygard3n @cvixmei @soniiyi - more tags in the comments
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You blink away the tears in your eyes, holding the pregnancy test, hoping that somehow, you’ll blink away the second line indicating that you are indeed pregnant.
“No way.” Chiyo waits for you outside the stall, the apprehension in her voice apparent.
“Yes. I’m…” There’s a lump in your throat you have to swallow before you finish your sentence. “Pregnant.”
Your best friend’s silence on the other side only makes you panic more, but you don’t blame her. What can she really say to make any of this better? To stop your world from turning upside down?
She whispers your name quietly, at a complete loss for words. Then, she clears her throat, sounding as if she’s fighting tears herself. “I’m going to buy you a melon pan. Just…wait for me here, okay?” It’s the only consolation she can offer you in this moment, huddled in a public restroom of a convenience store; you appreciate the effort, nonetheless. You wait for her to leave, completely alone now. As soon as she’s gone, you sob into your hands.
It's not that you oppose being a mother. You’ve always imagined handing a positive pregnancy test to the love of your life with the biggest smile on your face, excited to raise a family together. Ideally, this would have happened sometime in the future, once you’ve established yourself as a full-fledged adult. Not like this: twenty-one years-old, less than a year until graduation without the slightest clue what you’re doing with your life. Worst of all, the father isn’t your husband, a boyfriend, even a friend. It’s Toji Fushiguro, the dad of the little boy you babysat over the summer, the husband of the kind woman who hired you. You still haven’t forgiven yourself for your adultery, the guilt eating away at you since the start of that lecherous summer fling. And now, you have this pee-on-a-stick to remind you how incredibly reckless you were to get involved with him in the first place. How undeniably irresponsible you were to have unprotected sex with a married man. Sure, it was the best sex you’ll probably ever have in your life. But was it worth it?
You wrap the pregnancy test in toilet paper, tossing it in the trash bin. Knowing that no good will come out of sulking in the 7-11 bathroom any longer, you finally exit the stall, washing your hands clean at the sink. Your phone vibrates in your back pocket as you stare at your reflection in the mirror, fixated on your belly, wondering what it will look like round and full of life. It buzzes again, snapping you out of your trance. When you check to see who’s messaging, you almost drop your phone out of shock.
Somehow, someway, the universe has it out for you. Because in the most perfectly disastrous timing ever, Mrs. Fushiguro decides to contact you.
~~~
A week later, you’re sitting on the train, heading to the Fushiguro household. Your stomach is in knots, both from anxiety and from the morning sickness. Sweat beads on your forehead, skin sticky against your clothing in this hot weather. The closer you approach your destined stop, the more and more nervous you get, almost convinced to call the whole thing off.
Believe it or not, Mrs. Fushiguro did not contact you to confront you about the dirty deeds you did with her husband. Instead, she messaged you in dire need of a babysitter once again. She spares you the details, asking if you could meet her in person to better explain herself. And for whatever reason, you agree.
You haven’t come up with a solid plan yet on what you want to do about your little predicament. So far, the only people that know are Chiyo and your parents, who, after the initial shock of it all, have been surprisingly supportive. They advised you to take the rest of the term off, which you were able to get arranged quickly through your school. This gives you several weeks to decide what you need to do. With one issue resolved, it leaves you with the next, and the most pressing: whether or not you should tell the father. The last thing you want is to break apart the Fushiguro family. You’re fully prepared to raise this baby as a single mother, which, with the help of your parents and best friend, seems doable. Besides, you’re not even sure if you want Toji to be involved considering his complete lack of interest in his other child, Megumi. Despite that, you believe that as the father, he has the right to know. Can you gather the courage to actually tell him?
Still lost in your train of thought, you hop off to walk to the house. When you arrive, you spot Mrs. Fushiguro already outside, leaning against her car in the driveway with little Megumi in her arms. They both smile upon seeing you, warming your heart. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for whatever is to come.
“Hello Mrs. Fushiguro,” you greet her, bowing politely, too shy to meet her gaze. “How are you?”
“Doing really well. Thank you for coming on such short notice.” She lets her son down, who steps towards you until he’s hugging your knee, cooing. “I wanted to talk to you in person about my complicated situation.”
“Is everything alright?” you ask, unable to resist kneeling down to meet Megumi at eye level, making funny faces at him.
She giggles. “Oh, everything is great! The divorce finally went through and I’m living with my new boyfriend now, who’s been the absolute best, especially with Megumi.”
You make a shocked expression, mouth agape, exaggerated for the kid’s entertainment, though you’re pretty much stunned yourself. “Divorce…?”
“Yeah! Toji and I have been separated for a long time now. I’m sorry I didn’t mention that over the summer. You’re still so young after all, no need to rope you into adult things.”
You almost bust out laughing at the irony, but you hold your tongue, continuing to listen to her.
She sighs, flipping her long, beautiful hair behind her shoulders. “That being said, I still care about the guy. I mean, he is the father of my child. Without me or Megumi there on a regular basis, the whole house has gone to shit. It seems like he’s actually taking this divorce pretty hard. So, I want to hire you as a babysitter for my ex-husband. Just for a little while until he can get back up on his feet.”
Another shocked face, which makes Megumi laugh while dread sinks into your chest. “Babysitter…?”
“Babysitter, housekeeper, whatever you want to call it. You did such a wonderful job with him over the summer, even while you were taking care of Megumi! I don’t know what you were feeding him. Whatever it was, he was definitely a little bit nicer when you were around.”
Lewd flashbacks replay in your mind of Toji eating you out sloppily, slurping up all your pussy juices in every room of the house. You focus on the ground, too ashamed to look at her. “Mrs. Fushiguro, I don’t know if I can do this.”
She squats to your level, reaching for your hand, holding it gently in hers. “I know this is a lot of ask. You’re the only one I can rely on for this. Please.”
A sense of déjà vu hits you. There’s desperation in her tone and it tugs at your heartstrings the same way it did when you first met her a few months ago. It doesn’t help that Megumi is now squeezing the index finger of your other hand, eyes full of curious wonder, grip surprisingly strong for such a young child. Would she be pleading with you like this if she knew the truth about you, Toji, and the baby? Even though they were separated during this whole ordeal, it doesn’t make what you did any better; you still decided to do it regardless of their marital status.
Maybe you can use this opportunity as a way to atone.
You finally look at her, giving the most convincing smile you can muster, trying your best to ignore the wave of nausea washing over you. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
~~~
Mrs. Fushiguro asks you to start at noon the following day, giving her enough time to notify her ex about your temporary employment. When you use the set of keys she gave you to open the front door, you step inside cautiously, not sure what to expect. You’ve been dreading this impromptu reunion all night, wondering if you could even face him.
It’s a mess inside, heaps of dirty laundry scattered all over the furniture, fast food wrappers and empty ramen bowls littered on the kitchen counter. There’s a stench lingering in the stale air in here and you almost think the worse, but Mrs. Fushiguro had warned you about this. Seeing it in person is more heartbreaking than disgusting. Toji really is taking this divorce hard. It wouldn’t be right to burden him with more life-changing news, right?
You begin by gathering all the trash into garbage bags, flattening any cardboard to recycle. By the looks of it, he’s been living off junk food and protein bars for the past month. The refrigerator is near empty, aside from a questionable take-out container in the very back, which you end up dumping along with everything else. You make it your next task to get groceries after you load the washing machine.
When you return from the store, Toji remains absent. Nerves prevent you from leaning against the bedroom door to listen for any signs of him in there. His ex-wife mentioned that he goes out to gamble at the horse races whenever he’s short on cash, so it’s likely he’s there. Still, you’re anticipating his return, mentally preparing yourself for how you’ll behave around him. Given your current circumstances, you are serious about turning over a new leaf. No more funny business with him. Absolutely not.
It’s near dinnertime now and you’ve miraculously accomplished tidying the house and doing his laundry all within a few hours. You even managed to cook soup for dinner, full of hearty beef and fresh vegetables, something to provide nutrients compared to the processed food he’s been consuming lately. You’re stirring the pot when you hear keys jingle from outside the front door. He comes in, clad in a tight-fitting black shirt that accentuates his muscles and grey sweatpants that don't leave much to the imagination. A plastic bag is slung behind his shoulder, clearly from a convenience store. Despite his concerning diet, his physique is still impressive as ever. Just one glance at him has you fluttering below your belly, replaying the erotic memories you share together. You turn to face him, standing up straight, feigning confidence while you fret internally. He looks at you, brow raised slightly, a small smirk forming on his lips.
“Hello sir,” you greet him, bowing politely. Acting as if he’s a total stranger and not the man who rocked your entire world over the summer, now with evidence to prove it.
He sets the bag on the counter, revealing a couple of ramen packets inside. “What’s with the formalities?” he asks, grinning. “If I remember correctly, you were screaming my name nonstop the last time you were here.”
Heat rushes into your cheeks instantly, not surprised by his vulgarity, though still embarrassed. You clear your throat, trying to stay strong. “I’m here to work. Nothing else.”
He walks towards you, his stature casting a daunting shadow as he steps closer and closer, towering over you. His voice is low, borderline threatening to a point that has you trembling. “So you don’t want me to fuck you anymore?”
You swallow hard, composure wavering. “That’s right.” Even you don’t fully believe it when it comes out of your own mouth, how can you expect him to?
There’s a strange look in his eyes, almost like he’s disappointed by your response. He turns his back to you, mumbling something about taking a shower. You watch him enter his bedroom, hearing him clear as day before he shuts the door with a dull thud. “I guess you don’t want me either.”
~~~
A week into being Toji’s live-in housekeeper, the two of you figure out a routine together that involves minimal interaction. You wake up in the morning to cook breakfast, eating it quickly and leaving the rest for him while you go out. You use this time to go for a walk, meet with Chiyo or your parents, do some grocery shopping, or just sit at the nearby park, enjoying the sun with your baby, who grows little-by-little each day.
Toji is usually gone the whole afternoon, either working out or gambling, so you’re able to do chores back at the house, like cleaning his room. He doesn’t return until dinnertime when tension seems to be at its highest. A big reason for that is because he’s made it a habit to eat right after his shower, shirtless and with his legs crossed on the floor, displaying a perfectly visible outline of his manhood. It’s distracting, to say the least. Chiyo mentioned the other day how you can have an increased libido during the first trimester. That’s definitely proving itself now.
Aside from the half-nakedness, something else surprises you about him. The two of you mostly avoid conversation with each other, eating in silence at the dining table while sneaking furtive glances whenever you get a chance. But he never fails to mutter, “Thank you for the meal,” before washing the dishes at the sink, retreating back into his room when he’s done. It’s the tiniest act of consideration that makes you wonder what’s going on in his head.
Tonight you sit across from each other as usual. You just finished eating the chicken katsu you made for dinner, along with a couple of side dishes you prepped earlier in the week. His abs look especially spectacular today and you find it harder than usual to stop peeking at them.
“You’re gonna burn a hole through me with the way you’re staring,” he says, chewing his last bite.
Shit, caught red-handed. You quickly look down at your empty bowl, mumbling an apology. “Sorry. I just…I can tell your hard work is paying off.”
“Yours too. The house has never been cleaner. And the food has never been better.” He’s looking directly at you, a genuine smile on his face. “Thank you.”
It’s no good. Your hormones are raging, sexual desire courses through you, all from that stupidly handsome grin and a silly little compliment. How did you ever think you could resist him?
You stand up, grabbing everything from the table. “I’ll do the dishes,” you offer, walking them to the sink, trying to calm down.
It’s no use, though. He sees right through you.
He gives you only a minute alone before he follows you, caging you between his big arms, your back to him, his mouth hot on your ear. “Let me help you.”
You let out a frustrated huff, already unraveling from his proximity. The smallest jut of your hips and there it is, his erection pressed to your ass, throbbing and even more massive than you remember it. “Toji, we can’t,” you whine, not making any attempt to separate yourself from him.
He slides his hands around your hips, pulling you in closer, rubbing his rock-hard cock against you. “I know you want it. I know you want me.”
And he’s right. You do. You want him with you, around you, inside of you. In all the ways he’s had you before, in new ways he’s never had but you’ve fantasized about. There’s no denying it anymore. You want him. You want him so fucking bad.
He takes you right there at the kitchen sink, bent over with your grip tight on the edge of the counter, pounding away at your wet, needy cunt. Neither of you bother to remove your clothes completely, Toji’s sweatpants shrugged down his thighs just enough, yours pooled around your ankles, soaked panties at your knees. “Fuck, Toji!” you moan, sticking your ass out to meet his thrusts.
His fingers find your clit, rubbing slippery circles around it. “Say it,” he grunts, increasing the pace.
Drools leaks out from the sides of your lips, too fucked out to process what’s he’s asking you. “What?”
“Say you want me,” he demands, massaging your swollen bud so deep, you feel it all the way down to your fucking toes.
“I want you. I want you, Toji!” you respond breathlessly, squeezing him tight with your orgasm.
“Fuck, I missed you. Missed my good girl.” He continues to fuck you, slowly now, relishing every second of being inside you. “Always so fucking creamy for me, fuck.” He pulls you up to embrace you from behind, fingers still pleasuring you, his other hand at your chin to face you towards him. The two of you kiss passionately, lips smacking, tongues swirling. So sloppy and wanton that it puts you on the verge of another orgasm, completely succumbed to pleasure.
You sleep with him in his bedroom after several more orgasms and a big one of his own, wrapped comfortably in his arms, with his cock and creampie inside you the rest of the night. For the first time in a while, you’re oddly at peace.
~~~
Your reckless decision making has led you into another troublesome scenario. Fortunately, you haven’t had any morning sickness the entire first week of your employment at the Fushiguro household. Unfortunately, it decides to come back today. There’s no way you’ll be able to make it to the bathroom near your room, so you have no choice but to hop out of Toji’s bed and run into his, clutching onto the porcelain bowl until it’s all out. You rinse your mouth off at the sink, hoping Toji didn’t hear any of it. But you know all too well by now that luck is never on your side.
He’s sitting up against the headboard, watching you come out of the bathroom. “Did you just puke in there?” There’s a hint of concern in his normally blunt tone.
You nod, bending down to retrieve your underwear and pants off the floor, avoiding his gaze.
“Are you sick?” he asks, the worry even more obvious now.
Shaking your head, you respond, “No, I just…I’m feeling a little nauseous, that’s all.” You walk towards the door, still not willing to look at him. “There should be leftovers in the fridge, so help yourself to breakfast. I’m going to lay down.”
He calls out your name. “Wait – ”
You ignore him, closing the door shut behind you, letting the tears fall down your cheeks as you retreat into your own bedroom, muffling your sobs into a pillow. After your wild romp last night, this bout of morning sickness has swiftly brought you back to reality. You’re still harboring the secret growing in your womb from the man who gave it to you to begin with.
There’s a firm knock on your door, startling you. “Hey, it’s me.”
In this split-second, you decide to stop with the lies and finally tell the truth. You open the door, Toji standing in front of you fully clothed in his usual attire, a serious expression on his face. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
Eyes still puffy from crying, you take a deep breath. “I’m pregnant. And you’re the father.”
His mouth parts the slightest bit, no words coming out of it. The silence seems to linger on forever. You fill it by rambling all the thoughts that have been swimming in your head the last couple of weeks. “Before you start freaking out or anything, I’m telling you so that you know. I don’t expect you to be involved. I’m perfectly willing to raise this child on my own. And besides, I won’t be completely alone. I have my family to help me, my friends too. I’ll be totally fine. This baby is going to be well taken care of, I’ll make sure of it. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn’t know how. But I feel better already because this has been stressing me out. It’s all going to work out okay? I think. I hope.”
After the long spiel, he stares down at the floor, jaw tight, mouth opening and closing, unsure how to respond. Eventually, he says, “I have to go.”
When he leaves the house, you crawl into your bed, bawling until there are no tears left for you to cry.
~~~
You wake up in the late afternoon to an enticing aroma wafting from the kitchen. It’s been hours since you’ve been in bed, moping about how poorly everything went with Toji. His reaction left you devastated. While you always expected to do this alone, hearing his negative response to it hurts more than you anticipated it to.
Curious, you make your way into the kitchen, shocked to find Toji standing over the stove, stirring a pot, the soothing scent of soup surrounding you. “What’s going on?” you ask, noticing a plethora of fresh vegetables laid out on the counter, along with a big bottle of prenatal vitamins and various snacks.
He turns the heat off, covering the pot with a lid. “I’m cooking,” he answers, facing you with a grin on his face. “Bone broth is a good source of calcium. And you need to keep eating lots of veggies so our baby is strong, like me. No more of this instant ramen shit.”
“I thought you were upset,” you say, stepping closer to him.
“I know. I’m sorry I left like that. I was shocked at first, I’ll admit it. But I started to get excited." He takes your hands in his. "I have a lot of regrets in my life, but being a father isn’t one of them. Being a bad father is. I want to change. I need to change. For Megumi. For our new little one. For you.”
Strangely enough, you believe in his heartfelt declaration. You smile at him, letting him go to stand in front of the stove, taking a whiff of the comforting aroma of the hot soup he made for you, happy tears welling in your eyes. He hugs you gently from behind, nuzzling his nose to you. “I’m going to do it right this time, okay? I know I can do it with you.”
As Toji caresses your belly, kissing you softly along the neck, you feel the weight that’s been heavy on your shoulders ease up. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji x you#jjk smut#cw pregnancy
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as someone who's internet name has been gamma for years now, i would like to hear about who gamma is
OKAY, DOUBLE THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK!! first thank you is for sending my first ever ask!! hell yeah!!! second thank you is because this got me to realize that pages don't show up on mobile, which means the summary page I spent a couple DAYS writing was completely inaccessible to most people using the site (thanks for being a functional website, Tumblr! lol). (and I guess I could give you a third thank you for asking about Gamma specifically because I love to ramble about this guy lmao)
Gamma's a Creation (basically a biological robot) who acts as bodyguard and personal assistant to Alice, the creator of the world in Universe 1. He's the one who collects souls for Alice's army as well as accidentally becomes one of the main character's (Lydia's) mentors, and has become a sort of secondary protagonist for Universe 1 as a whole. Gamma's pretty reserved and takes his responsibilities very seriously, even if they're self-imposed, doing his best to keep Alice safe as that is what he was literally made to do. Honestly, considering the circumstances, he's done a damn good job. He's fascinated by Earth, which, thanks to him spending his entire life in Alice's Realm, is functionally an alien planet to him, and he spends most of his free time researching aspects of it (usually human history and sociology) from books he and Alice have stolen from Earth. He tends to creep out the humans a bit, both with the whole soul-collecting thing (which most of the humans still hold a grudge against him for, which Gamma fully understands) and with him being an unknowing resident of the uncanny valley who's oftentimes secretive to a fault, but he genuinely cares about their well-being and does what he can to help improve their situation, usually working himself to the bone to do so. There's... a lot more going on with this guy, but honestly I could ramble about him for another three hours, and that's what the prompt fills are for! lmao
I've got a little more info about him right HERE! (along with info about all of the other characters in Universe 1)
#Local Spider Gets Mail#<- I think that's a decent ask-answering tag! might change it later if I feel like it tho lol#Gamma's great honestly. I think he's one of my faves because He Has The Range#he's an omen of death! he reads a telepathic dog bedtime stories!#he knows the inner workings of eldritch abominations and their pocket dimensions! he has no idea what taxes are!#he had to be told that humans aren't telepathic by default and had a breakdown when he found out!#he shrugs off gashes and monster bites like they're no big deal!#he's accidentally broken into buildings before because he was worried calling attention to his presence would be bothering people!#his best friend is a human-adjacent eldritch abomination with no concept of the value of life!#this eldritch abomination is the only person he's comfortable enough around to be snarky with!#the eldritch abomination looks like a kid compared to him! she's actually almost twice his age because he's only been alive for EIGHT YEARS#he's got so much tragic shit going on and yet I can still write more light-hearted stuff involving him!#he's even mentally ill!!!#HE HAS THE RANGE!!!#my favourite thing about Gamma is that from Lydia's perspective he seems like he's got his shit together at first#but really Gamma is a bundle of frayed nerves in a ragged suit keeping shit together via metaphorical duct tape and a prayer lmao#if you've got any other questions feel free to send 'em!! I love talking about my funny little guys!!!
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Hi! I love your writing, I'm constantly rereading it, it's so good!! I would like to request a scenario where reader is a very sweet and nice person, always helping others and willing to listen to their problems, but they reach their limit and snap one day at a group of nrc boys who have been harassing them for a long time (up to you if it was malicious teasing or a 'pulling on pigtails' reason for the teasing!). Full on calling them out for their shitty behavior and verbally tearing them down, and drawing a crowd who didn't think this would happen because of reader's usual personality. They have to get pulled away by (separate scenarios) Vil, Leona, and Crewel who helps them calm down and comforts them when they start angry crying. Pre-relationship for Vil and Leona please, maybe they have to deal with the fact they thought reader was super attractive when they were all angry and going off on the NPCs lol. Thanks if you write this one! 🫶
Sweet reader who goes off with Leona, Vil, Crewel
i loved this ask, it was fun to write <3
Leona Kingscholar
Leona had been watching the whole thing from the sidelines, lounging under the shade of a tree. He knew the moment those idiots opened their mouths, things were about to go sideways. What he didn’t expect was for you to completely lose it.
You, the sweet and patient person who always helped others with a smile, were now ripping into the Savanaclaw students like a lion who’d just had its tail stepped on.
“Wow, real original, ‘stealing magicless human’s lunch,’” you sneered, hands on your hips. “What’s next? Pulling my hair? Tripping me in the hallway? You all got your moves straight from a kindergarten bully manual, didn’t you?”
The group of Savanaclaw students blinked in confusion, clearly not expecting the sudden barrage. “W-Well, we’re just... teasing!” one of them stammered.
“Teasing? Is that what you call it?” You leaned in, your voice dropping to a deadly calm. “How about you explain to me why ‘teasing’ always involves targeting the same person over and over again, huh? Or do I have to spell it out for you? You’ve been after me for weeks. If you’ve got a problem, say it.”
Leona stifled a yawn, his ear twitching as he overheard one of the idiots mutter, “Sheesh, we’re just messin’ around ‘cause she’s cute...”
You blinked, clearly having heard that, and turned on your heel. “Excuse me?”
The guy looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh, nothing?”
“Oh no, no, no. You said I’m cute, didn’t you?” Your voice was sweet, but the look in your eyes could melt steel. “You mean to tell me you’ve been pulling my pigtails like some lovesick middle schooler?”
Leona almost choked on his laughter. The guys shifted on their feet, visibly uncomfortable. One of them scratched the back of his neck and muttered, “Well, uh, kinda...”
Your jaw dropped. “Oh my god. You’re literally harassing me because you like me?”
The poor guy looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. “I mean, I wouldn’t say harass—”
“SHUT UP!” you snapped, throwing your hands in the air. “Are you guys twelve?! Did I get transported into some kind of second-grade drama fest? This isn’t how you flirt! You could’ve just asked me to lunch like a normal person!”
Leona was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud. This was too good. His underlings were idiots, but this was a new low.
“And by the way, just so we’re clear,” you continued, “I wouldn’t have said yes! Why? Because I actually have standards. Like, oh I don’t know, not going after people who torment me for weeks on end!”
That finally shut them up. The group shuffled awkwardly, clearly regretting all their life decisions, when Leona finally decided to make his move. He casually strolled over, tail swaying lazily behind him.
“Oi,” he drawled, hands in his pockets. “You done terrorizing my pack yet?”
You turned, eyes still blazing with fury, and Leona had to admit—he’d never seen you look hotter. All riled up, standing there like you were about to take on the entire world. He leaned against a nearby tree, smirking. “You’ve got more bark than most of them combined.”
You pointed at the group with a glare. “Your pack? These idiots have been making my life miserable because they don’t know how to talk to someone they like!”
Leona’s smirk widened, clearly amused. “Is that so?” He cast a glance at the culprits, who were now looking anywhere but at you or him. “Sounds like they could use a lesson in charm.”
One of the guys mumbled, “But we didn’t mean—”
Leona’s eyes narrowed, silencing him immediately. “Run along, or I’ll make you regret it.” His tone was lazy, but the underlying threat was enough to send them scrambling.
As they bolted, you crossed your arms, still fuming. “Unbelievable. They were harassing me because they like me. That’s like pulling pigtails on the playground!”
Leona chuckled, pushing off the tree. “Can’t blame ‘em for trying. You’ve got some fire in you.”
You shot him a look, annoyed. “Are you seriously taking their side?”
“Nah.” Leona tilted his head, studying you. “I’m just sayin’... maybe they’ve got a point.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
He stepped closer, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “They’re idiots, sure. But they’re right about one thing—you’re worth the trouble.”
Your face flushed, and before you could fire back, you felt your anger quickly unraveling into something much messier. You tried to blink it away, but your eyes were already starting to sting, and before you knew it, hot tears were spilling over.
“Great,” you muttered, voice shaking. “Now I’m crying. Just perfect.”
Leona’s smirk dropped when he saw your shoulders tremble. He sighed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Oi, don’t—”
“Don’t tell me not to cry!” you snapped, angry sobs spilling out now. “I’m allowed to cry! I’ve been dealing with this crap for weeks, and it’s not fair! I didn’t do anything to them! I’m just trying to live my life!”
Leona’s eyes softened, clearly caught off guard by your outburst. He hesitated for a second, then stepped closer, carefully placing a hand on your shoulder. “...Alright, alright. I get it.”
You sniffled, wiping furiously at your tears. “They’re so stupid. And mean. And I—I’m so tired of it.”
Leona grunted, his tone a little softer than usual. “They’re idiots, but they won’t bother you again. Trust me.”
You hiccuped, nodding weakly. “I just… I don’t get why they—why would anyone do that?”
Leona scratched the back of his head, suddenly feeling awkward. He wasn’t good at comforting people, but damn it, seeing you cry because of those morons made his chest tighten.
With a resigned sigh, he pulled you close, resting his chin on top of your head. “It’s alright, herbivore. You were overdue for that. And anyway, you can use those sharp words on me whenever you want.” His voice dropped, teasing. “I don’t mind.”
You sniffled, half-laughing, half-crying into his chest. “You’re impossible.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Leona smirked. “But you like me anyway.”
Vil Schoenheit
It was common knowledge that Vil paid special attention to you. Whether it was because of your potential or because you had a natural grace, the others were never sure, but it was obvious that the attention he gave you drove some students crazy. Specifically, a group of Pomefiore boys who had made it their life’s mission to be jealous, petty, and downright irritating. And today, you were done pretending you didn’t hear their snide remarks.
“Can’t believe Vil wastes his time with them,” one sneered. “It’s not fair. We actually try, and they just get it handed to them?”
You stopped in your tracks, eyes twitching as their words piled on.
“They’re probably not even trying to look good. Vil’s just playing favorites—”
That’s when you lost it. You whirled around, glaring at them with a ferocity they clearly hadn’t anticipated. “Favorites? Favorites?! Oh, PLEASE. First of all, the only thing Vil is handing out is a reality check, which all of you clearly missed! You think it’s easy working with him? That he just showers me with praise while you’re left to fend for yourselves? NEWSFLASH—Vil’s standards are through the roof, and I’m busting my ass just like everyone else!”
They stammered, taken aback by your outburst, but you weren’t done.
“You all spend so much time being bitter that Vil doesn’t notice you, but guess what? Maybe—just maybe—it’s because you’re too busy whining and not busy enough doing the damn work! You think complaining is gonna magically make you the fairest one of all? Spoiler alert: You’ve got about as much chance as a muddy potato in a beauty pageant!”
The entire courtyard was staring now. You? The sweet, helpful student who always wore a kind smile? Absolutely demolishing a group of boys who deserved every single word you were hurling at them.
“And another thing! The next time you want to insinuate that I’m getting ‘special treatment,’ take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are the one who’s too lazy to earn it!”
Vil, who had been silently watching from a distance, felt something stir inside him as he listened to you tear into them. That fire. That passion. That confidence. You were utterly captivating when you were angry. How had he not noticed how striking you were in this moment?
He stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder, his calm presence easing the tension just a little. “Enough, darling. You’ve made your point.”
You blinked, realizing who it was, and the adrenaline started to wear off as your shoulders slumped. “Vil, I…”
“You did well.” His voice was smooth, soothing. “But let’s not waste more energy on them, hm?”
Tears prickled at your eyes as your emotions bubbled over. “It’s just… it’s not fair. I’m trying so hard.”
Vil turned you to face him fully, his eyes soft despite the usual sharpness. “I know you are. And I see it, every day. That’s why I pay attention to you.”
Your breath hitched, caught off guard by the tenderness in his voice. His hand reached up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek, and for a moment, you forgot how angry you had been. All you could focus on was how close he was, how his presence seemed to anchor you.
“You’re more beautiful when you’re not holding back,” Vil murmured, almost too quiet for you to hear. But oh, you heard it. Loud and clear.
Divus Crewel
It was the same old song and dance with these students. They couldn’t handle the fact that you were getting along so well with the dorm leaders and staff, so naturally, they decided to take it out on you. You didn’t have magic, you didn’t belong at NRC, blah blah blah—it was all the same garbage, and today, you’d had enough.
“Oh look, the magicless pet is here,” one sneered. “What’d you do to get on their good side? Bribe ‘em? Kiss up to Crewel so he gives you extra points in class?”
You slammed your hands on the nearest table, the sound echoing through the classroom. “Oh, for the love of everything, can you SHUT UP for once in your miserable lives?!”
They blinked at you, shocked. You? Sweet, friendly, always-helpful you? Snapping?
“Bribe the staff?! Really? You’re dumber than I thought, and that’s saying something considering you’ve spent more time scraping by in Crewel’s class than actually passing it! You think I’m getting special treatment? I WORK TWICE AS HARD AS ANY OF YOU, BECAUSE I HAVE TO!”
You were on a roll now, and the more they stared, the angrier you got.
“Newsflash, genius! Being nice to people isn’t ‘kissing up,’ it’s called not being an insufferable little gremlin! Maybe if you spent less time whining and more time actually trying, you wouldn’t be such a failure in every sense of the word! And don’t even get me started on the fact that I—without magic—am somehow doing better than all of you!”
The group was completely stunned into silence, but before you could land another blow, a familiar voice cut through the air.
“Puppy.” Professor Crewel’s tone was firm but gentle. “That’s enough.”
You froze, spinning around to see him standing there, arms crossed, but there was something soft in his eyes. Before you could protest, the adrenaline started to wear off, and all the frustration you had bottled up came spilling out in the form of tears.
Your hands shook as the adrenaline crash hit you hard, and suddenly, the tears started to fall. “I—I’m sorry, I just… I couldn’t take it anymore…”
Crewel stepped forward, his usual sternness softening into something almost paternal. He placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “No need to apologize, pup. Those troublemakers had it coming.”
You sniffled, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “But I—I’m supposed to be better than that. I shouldn’t have yelled…”
“Sometimes,” Crewel said, tilting your chin up so you’d look him in the eye, “people need to be put in their place. And you did that perfectly.”
His calm assurance made you break down even more, and before you knew it, you were full-on ugly crying in front of him. He sighed, but not out of exasperation—more like a father who knew his kid had finally reached their limit.
With surprising gentleness, Crewel pulled you into a loose hug. “Let it out. You’ve been holding this in for too long.”
You sobbed into his shoulder, not caring that you were crying all over the crisp white fur of his coat. “I just—They’ve been—”
“I know.” He patted your back, his voice steady. “And they’ll be dealt with. But you need to take care of yourself first.”
You hiccupped, nodding into his coat. “Thanks, Professor.”
Crewel gave you one last reassuring pat before pulling back, his sharp eyes focusing on the group of students still frozen in place, unsure if they should stay or flee. “Now, as for you lot… if I hear even a whisper of disrespect toward my pup again, you’ll wish you were expelled. Do I make myself clear?”
The group scrambled to nod and mutter apologies before scurrying off, tails between their legs.
Once they were gone, Crewel sighed and gently turned you toward the door. “Let’s go get you some tea, pup. You’ll feel better after.”
You sniffled, managing a small smile. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#leona#leona kingscholar#vil x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#vil#vil schoenheit#divus crewel#crewel x reader
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Hi again! 👋
I'm throwing another request at ya since you did such an awesome job with the last fic idea I requested. (Thank you again for that)
This time with the OG Logan and all his kitty cat hair glory lol.
The reader has similar powers to scarlet witch. Like telekinetic powers, levitation, etc. Can it be a scenario where she loses connection (like how wanda feels connected to vision) with Logan and thinks that he's dead and she just snaps. The villians who claims they killed him mock her and she pulls the move like wanda did in Endgame where she's like you took everything from me, and the villians don't know who she is and she's like you will and just goes full beast mode on the villians involved.
Bonus, Logans alive, he just was knocked out real bad and sees the whole fight happen and was like wow I love her and they reunite and it ends all fluffy with a kiss, maybe a proposal? Lol 😘
Heartbeat || Logan Howlett x Reader
a/n: This was such a great request and I have to say I really loved writing this. I did. go a little angstier than I thought I would and its darker than I expected it to turn out but I really hope you like it. Your mutant name is firefly. Also. I still haven't seen the movies so I apologize if its not accurate to how the X-Men work or anything im sorry sdakfjl;
warnings: fake out death, violence, blood, killing, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, the reader goes on a rampage, he calls you honey, reader almost dies, creepy ass villian guy.
wc: 2.3k
"You alright there honey?" Logan's hand gently rests on your shoulder.
You're staring blankly out the jet window, watching the clouds pass by as you ready yourself for what is pretty much a suicide mission. A whole organization that had been hiding underground, dedicated to eradicating mutants.
They've studied you. Planned. They know things, your strengths, your weaknesses. A few people had infiltrated their base and what they found...It made you shiver. Photos and articles and deeply personal information.
They had photos of you and Logan.
It made you paranoid sometimes. Like they were always watching. So you had to put a stop to it as soon as possible. You didn't go on missions often. Your powers were, quite destructive. Powerful yes but not always needed but the X-Men needed everyone they could. You take a deep breath and try to smile convincingly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Logan snorts and cocks an eyebrow.
"You're lying right through those pretty teeth." There's an air of fear in the jet. You all know what might happen if you don't succeed.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Promise."
"Yeah they're no match for the Wolverine and Firefly." Scott teases making Logan roll his eyes. Scott just loved messing with Logan, taking any jab he can to lighten the mood.
"Can it bub." He turns his attention back to you, happy to see a small smile on your face. Logan takes your hand and places it on his chest. Your hands glow as you reach deep and feel his heartbeat.
"See?" You take a deep breath as you listen.
Sometimes you got too much into your own head. Your powers were tricky and when you got overwhelmed Logan always knew how to calm you down. The world around you fades as you focus on the beat of his heart. The rise and fall of his chest. He was your rock. The jet jolts and Logan holds onto you as you stumble.
"Think I got time for a quick smoke before we head out?"
"No you do not." Storm walks up to the two of you, she shoos Logan away who reluctantly leaves.
"We're landing in 10 minutes, are you ready Firefly?" You take a deep breath and nod.
You stare at your hands as you little particles of orange start to sprout from your fingers. You had control of your powers most of the time but they were still a work in progress but you knew that this mission was important so you couldn't afford to lose control.
Once the jet lands Scott and Storm tell everyone the plan again. This was for the future of mutant kind and there was a lot at stake. Each of you had a small usb drive that would corrupt and destroy any files still left in their system. Infiltrate and destroy all of their plans.
"Do you feel like pancakes?" Logan asks as you step out of the jet.
"What?" He shrugs and stands a little taller.
"There's this diner, open all night. Thought that after you'd want to get something to eat." You know what he's doing. Trying to make you feel better, to believe that you'll make it out alive. You can't die if you have a plans.
"Sure Logan, pancakes sounds great."
"Then it's a date." Logan heads in the opposite direction of you.
He's part of the brute force while you slip into the shadows. Still it pains you to be away from him. A storm rumbles in the distance and you hurry off to your position, afraid of what was to come. Still you keep going.
This was going to end tonight.
"Shit!" You hiss as a bullet wizzes past you.
Things had went to shit pretty quickly and it's an all out brawl now. With a wave of your hands soldiers go flying to who knows where. You sneak behind one and infiltrate his mind. Using his fears to show you exactly where the main computer was being held. He falls to the ground and you step over him as you sneak inside.
It was getting bad, you could feel it. Feel the tiredness and pain your friends were feeling. The guards fall one by one as you make it to the center console room. Exhaustion was creeping up on you. Your powers exerting every bit of strength you had. Still you knew what had to be done.
You plugged in the usb drive and watched as the system crashes, deleting every single bit of information they could have on the X-Men. Then you slowly envelop the console with your powers, crushing it until there's nothing left. You press your finger to your ear, alerting the team you had wiped their main computer in the comms. There's nothing but static on the other end.
"Guys?" You feel your heart start to race as you run out of the building.
"Hello? Anyone? Storm, Jean, Logan?" Still nothing.
Suddenly you feel this horrible, horrible pit in your chest. You stop in your tracks. Blood running cold as terrible feeling washes over you. Logan. You can't explain it, but somethings wrong.
"Logan!" You plead into your comms for him to respond.
You burst through the doors and back onto the field. Your breath hitching as you see the destruction in front of you. For any normal villain's they would have been nothing in the way of you guys, but these people knew exactly who you were. Exactly how to stop each and every one of you.
It was a losing battle.
Your eyes dart around as you send blast after blast, trying to help but with every move of your hands you feel weaker. Suddenly you hear a loud yell, you turn around to see Logan driving his claws deep into the chest of someone. You feel relieved seeing him still standing.
"Logan!" You call out to him and he looks your way. There's blood splattered all over his face and he looks worried. He runs towards you as fast as he could go.
"Get down!" He roars.
BANG
It all happens so slowly.
You look to your side to see a man with a gun aimed right at you. The exhaustion plagues your brain as you react too late. You see Logan running at you. A desperate look in his face as he jumps at you. You hit the ground and so does Logan. He rolls away and lays still. To your horror there's a bullet right in his forehead.
"Logan!" You screech.
You scramble to his side. He's not getting up. Why is he not getting up? He heals. He should be fine. His healing factor should have kicked in so why isn't he getting up. You reach out to him but someone grabs your leg before you can. Your hands dig into the ground as you're yanked back. Dragged to the center of the field.
"Get the fuck off me!" You kick your feet and scream loudly.
Your hands glow but you're face is shoved to the ground, a foot on your neck slowly stopping the air from entering your lungs. You can feel your strength draining. You try and use your powers but you can't.
"He's dead sweetheart. Think we don't know about that neat little regeneration of his?" The man above you laughs and you start to feel sick.
"We're not fucking stupid." He takes his foot off your neck and you gasp for air. He reaches down and grabs you by the neck, forcing you to turn and look at Logan.
"Where's that healing of his now?" Logan remains unmoving, you try and reach out to him. Using any bit of your power to search for him but nothing. You can't feel anything. Tears start to fall as you let out an anguished cry.
"I thought you were supposed to be strong? We heard so much about you and now look at you." He lets go of your neck and you crawl to your knees. Clutching your chest as sobs wrack your body.
"Don't worry though," You hear a gun cock behind you.
"It'll be over soon. Go ahead and say hi to your little boyfriend for us."
You look up at him and feel nothing but an overwhelming amount of pure rage. How fucking dare they. They threatened your life, your friends, your world. They took your peace. They took Logan. The love of your life, he died saving you. Your hands glow bright orange, your chest heaving as you glare at the man standing in front of you.
"Oh look at that, looks like you can do something." He sneers. You chuckle darkly. Tilting your head to the side you smile. Your eyes start to glow as you become strangely calm.
"You took everything from me...So I'm going to take it all from you." You scream as a large wave of energy bursts from your body.
A wave knocking back everyone in your radius including your team. The line of friend and foe blur as you go on a rampage. Disposing of anyone who came after you with ease.
"Firefly!" Storm calls out to you, you were becoming uncontrollable. No one can even get near you. Jean tries to get into your head but you block her out.
No one can get to you now.
They took him from you and you were going to make him pay. You stalk to the ones that were foolish enough to stay. Though they were crawling away now, pleading for mercy. It almost makes you laugh. They were showing no mercy when they planned to eradicate you and your friends. Why would you show them any now?
"That's enough!" Scott fires a beam to stop you in your tracks.
"They're surrendering." He reaches out to you but you push him away.
"I don't care." You snarl. You raise your hand and lift the stragglers up in the air. You're about to slam them to the ground but someone grabs onto your wrist.
"Stop!" The grip is tight as they spin you around. The glow in your eyes fade as you take in who stands in front of you.
"Logan?" You whisper. You try and shake your hand free but he doesn't budge.
"Let them go, honey." He says gently.
"They tried to kill you." You feel the fire come back but Logan does everything he can to calm it.
"But they didn't. They can't hurt us anymore." Still you don't move. He loosens the grip on your hand, taking your other hand and placing it on his chest.
"I'm alive, just feel." Slowly you lower your hand, softly letting the men fall as the rest of the team deal with them as you collapse into Logan's arms.
"I thought you were dead!” You cried. You rest your head against his chest, hand still gripping his suit.
“You weren’t moving and I, I couldn’t feel you.” He cradles the back of your head and holds you tight.
“I’m so sorry I scared you honey, I’m alive. Just knocked out for a little bit.” Logan feels horrible.
Maybe if he had been a little quicker you both would be okay and you wouldn’t have had to deal with any of that. He grabs your face and kisses you with an intensity you've never felt. It's sloppy and desperate but full of life. He's alive. He's telling you that he's alive.
When you pull apart there's still tears streaming down your face. Still so overwhelmed from everything. He lets you cry into his chest as he soothes you. Wiping away the tears as they come.
"I love you so much." He whispers so only you can hear.
The rest of the team watch but don’t say a word. Letting the two of you sit there as long as you need. Soon your tears dry up but you don’t let go of Logan.
It’s a quiet walk to the jet. Everyone is absolutely drained. You lean on Logan's shoulder as he draws shapes on your thigh with his thumb. Your hand rests on his wrist, pressing into his pulse just to make sure he's still breathing.
"Pancakes." You say quietly. Logan looks over in slight confusion.
"Huh?"
"You promised me pancakes," You crack a tired smile.
Logan stares at you for a moment before laughing in disbelief. The weight of what happened finally catching up to him. How close he was to losing it all, how close you were to complete destruction. The toll it's taken on everyone in the jet. The last thing on anyone's mind mind should be doing anything other than sleeping for a week yet pancakes feel like the best fucking idea ever.
"Yeah we can get pancakes honey, as many as you want." He kisses your forehead and places his chin on your head.
"With chocolate chips?" You ask playfully.
"I'll make 'em put in extra. Just for you." You hum happily as you lean in closer to him.
It's still a long flight back and one by one everyone starts to fall asleep. Soon it's just the rumbling of the plane. You look up to see Logan has fallen asleep, you watch his chest rise and fall. Just for a little bit.
He grumbles in his sleep, twitching slightly. There's a scowl on his face as he starts to shift more. Quietly you tap your fingers against his head, taking away his nightmares. He stops moving, relaxing under your touch. You smile softly as you slide your hand down to his chest.
Closing your eyes you feel his heart again. In the back of your mind swirls the horrible memories of today but you choose to ignore them for now. You close your eyes and allow yourself to rest. The steady beat of his heart acting as the perfect lullaby.
Just a steady reminder that everythings okay, there's nothing to fear anymore.
Thump
Thump
Thump
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it would be sososo wonderful if you wrote a cute little blurb abt Spencer and fem!BAU!reader both coming into work with little doodles all over their arms and the team notices or something <3 (yes this is the same anon that sent the headcanon lol)
hii! i loved your headcanon and am so glad you requested this 💌
𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔, spencer reid
spencer reid x fem!reader
you relationship with spencer is revealed when you both show up to work with doodles on your arms <3
warnings: none <3
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Spencer reaches for the mug full of hot coffee, taking a generous sip. His button up feels almost immediately too hot, body warming up due to the hot beverage. He rolls up his sleeves without a second thought, arms covered in little doodles on full display to anyone in the bullpen who decides to look at them.
"Hey, pretty boy. Did you see- are those hearts?" Derek approaches his desk with a teasing smile already making it's way to his lips. Spencer scrambles to cover his arms up, clumsy pulling his sleeves down.
"Did i see what?" He feigns innocence, crossing his arms over his chest as he's way too nervous to actually button up the sleeves. There's no way he's going to out the relationship he's been hiding for a good few months because of some doodles.
"Oh no, you're not running away from this. Why have you got cute drawings all over your arms, uh?" He teases even further, trying to take a peek at the skin under Spencer's button up.
Your gaze immediately shoots up to them once you realize what Derek is referring to, quickly faking a normal expression once you realize your eyes have widened. You pretend to be looking at the files in your table, waiting for the answer. Your table is not far from his so you really have to keep it cool.
"I uh- i was bored and drew them." Spencer says the first excuse that comes to mind and realizes rather quickly how bad it sounds. His neck turns red and it soon spreads to his cheeks and ears too.
"You want me to believe you were bored and decided to draw hearts and butterflies on your arms? Sure, Reid." He chuckles, making sure to give him a hard time.
"Aw, does my sweet boy genius have a girlfriend?" Penelope snoops in, a less teasing and more bright smile on her lips.
"It sounds like he does. Unless he's suddenly ambidextrous and is able to draw perfect hearts on both of his arms." Emily comments, just as interested to make Spencer flustered as Derek.
"I- What if i am?!" Spencer's voice comes out a tad bit squeakier than intended, facade crumbling very easily. He looks at you almost desperately, trying to find a way out of this interrogation without having to reveal your relationship.
"Come on guys, leave the poor boy alone." Rossi saves him before you can, but he seems just as curious as the rest of them. Raised eyebrows and looking directly at him.
"Do you know anything about this, gorgeous?" Derek turns his gaze to you. Spencer gulps nervously, trying to act as normal as possible now that you're also about to be involved.
"Me? Why would i know?" You question a bit too defensively. Lying isn't exactly your forte and now that everyone is looking at you, it feels even harder.
"Wait- do i sense jealously?" It now feels like you're the next chosen victim to their interrogation. You might have aimed for careless but it definitely came off as defensive and bothered.
"You really don't." You roll your eyes as you answer, noticing the way Spencer gives you an apologetical look. You smile for long enough so that he notices but quick enough so no on else sees it.
"I think we do." Rossi agrees with Derek.
You sigh exasperatedly, hand coming to rub your forehead. What you don't notice is the way your shirt rids down, exposing your also covered arm.
"Oh my god- she has them too!" Penelope gasps, not holding back the surprise.
You wonder how they hadn't figured out you and Spencer are dating before. You both aren't exactly great liars and it was just a matter of time until someone caught one of your stollen kisses on the workplace.
"Oops?" You mutter out, cheeks painfully hot as you give up on trying to hide it. There's no way they would believe any kind of excuse now.
"Can't say i'm surprised." Emily is the first to say anything, leaving to go back to her desk as if nothing had happened.
"I'm so happy for you guys." Penelope ruffles Spencer's hair with a smile that's definitely making her cheeks hurt, while Derek resumes to shaking his head with a chuckle.
Spencer gives you a lopsided smile and you quickly realize he's trying to know if you're okay with all of it. You nod with a smile of your own, fingers tracing the doodles on your arm.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
love you,
cat 🤍
#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#fluff#spencer reid x you
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Let me take care of you
Newt x f!reader (clint x jeff mentioned- if you don't ship it just ignore it lol)
2,8k
Summery: newt accidentally overhears you talking about liking him but he thinks you were talking about minho
Request: Hello can you do a newt x fem!reader when the reader is a medjack and talk about (I forget if it’s Clint or Jeff) how she is love with him but she didn’t realize he was behind her ? Please
Misunderstandings; hurt/comfort, angst
A/N: okay this escalated pretty quick into angst whoops
Can be read as a part 2 of 'let me help you'
It was a usual morning in the glade. The runners were getting ready to start their rounds. Alby started to wake everyone up and frypan made breakfest ready.
You and jeff on the other hand were already in the med-hut to check up on a slicer who almost got his arm chopped off yesterday. Jeff held his fingers to the boys neck.
"He's still alive."
You hummed in relief.
"Lost much blood?"
You collected the things to change the bandage on the young boys arm.
"Nah seems pretty good."
You handed jeff a container of warmed up water and a cloth. "Thanks" jeff muttered as he began removing the blood soaked bandage from the arm. You sat down next to the bed and gave jeff a helping hand whenever he needed.
"How are things with clint?" You gave Jeff a teasing grin. Jeff sighed.
"There are no 'things' between me and clint." But he gave up long ago to deny it convincingly in front of you.
"You looked shucking cute cuddled up yesterday evening." You grinned as you took the dirty cloth and water bowl from him.
Jeff scoffed. "Oh yeah what about you lovebirds then? I'm pretty sure you two were the ones cuddled up. Half the glade was probably jealous." He took the new bandage from your hand. A blush coated your cheeks but you smiled softly at the memory. "Yeah we were quite close yesterday."
You realised that the boy jeff was currently treating was still fast asleep. "Nothing wakes him up does it?" You pointed to him.
Jeff chuckled. "He sleeps like a rock. But don't try to distract me. I'm telling you, you need to ask him out."
"Because you're the expert in that?" You raised your brow.
Jeff rolled his eyes and sat down too after finishing the bandage. "No. Because it is so clearly obvious to everyone. Do you know why the boys don't try anything anymore with you?"
You blinked confused. "No...?" "Newt threatens them. They're afraid they'll be banished or beaten to a pulp if they try something with you."
You were speachless for a moment. "What...? No newt doesn't do that... I know he's protective. That's why they set up the rules but he never uses violence."
"Well he does when you are involved. You remember how gally was brought in with a bashed in face? That was newt. Gally, as gally is, apperently said a lot of disrespectful stuff about you which he could not tolerate."
Your heart beat a bit faster. Newt did this for you? You knew newt avoided violence and stuck to order as much as he was capable off. And that he completely neglected these believes as soon as you were involved was weirdly...sweet.
"So I'm telling you- he cares about you very deeply. Almost concerningly so. And everyone of the boys is aware how you two look at eachother."
You couldn't contain your bright smile. "I never knew that. That is very sweet." You sighed dreamily. "He's just so adorable."
Jeff laughed quietly. "I tell you he's beaten someone up and you call him adorable?"
You glare at him with a pout. "You know that's not what I mean. He's just- so handsome. Even when his hair is touseled of sweat at the end of the day. I don't know how he does it. I could listen to his voice all day too. Every time I see him I just want to squeeze him out of excitment."
"I'm sure he is." Jeff muttered with a grin.
"He always looks out for everyone and rather neglects his own needs than others. I'd rather he wouldn't but I like that about him. He also has everything in control. I mean alby is the leader but he's the leader in the background. He always notices when something is wrong and asks about it. When he laughs he has these really cute crinkles on his nose. Sorry I'm rambling."
Jeff leaned forward. "Then do something about it. Honestly in the eyes of everyone you're already-"
Newt cleared his throat as he stood awkwardly in the doorway of the med-hut. He had walked in a minute ago and heard you talking about someone. At first he thought you might actually be talking about him but his self-consciousness told him you were probably talking about minho. You two always were so close. Minho was a phisical guy. He was muscular. Had great humor. Of course newt understood why you'd fall for minho. After all it was his best friend. But it still stung. A lot.
Newt didn't mean to eavesdrop but he couldn't really find a good moment to interrupt until he couldn't stand hearing more.
His face showed a friendly expression but his eyes wouldn't meet your face.
You on the other hand were turning around to look at newt with wide eyes. You didn't know how long he stood there. How much he heard. If he even heard anything so you tried to slow your heartbeat and act normally.
Jeff glanced between you two as if he was watching a very interesting story unfold before his eyes.
"I uh. I need to get some supplies for the runners. They're about to start. But maybe you'd like to bring it yourself to minho?"His eyes were lowered to the ground.
"Yes of course. No problem." You hastily stood up and collected the small supplies for the runners. As soon as you finished speaking newt was already gone again.
You stilled as you realised this and turned to jeff with wide eyes. "Do you think he heard?"
"He heard something."
"Why did he storm off then?"
Jeff raised his shoulders. "You should probably go talk to him."
***
You did try and talk to him but after the encounter Newts behavior changed. He clearly tried to avoid you. He was a lot more in his room. Even locked up so alby couldn't get in to sleep. He almost worked aggressively hard as a track-hoe. Not stopping to work at dinner time and starting to work before the others were even up.
The others noticed too of course. Newt was the glue after all. Without Newts full help the glade got into a more chaotic state. Alby needed to scream around a lot more. He even seemed to be angry at newt for acting this way.
He didn't come to the med-hut anymore. Neither for his limp nor to pick you up for sleep.
For you and frankly everybody else it was a unreasonable change of behavior. You knew the things he overheard in the med-hut were the trigger for this but you could not fathom why he'd be so distraught because of it.
But to Newt it was perfectly reasonable. You were in love with minho and the latter obviously in love with you. The whole glade seemed to be. You were the only girl. What chance did he have.Newt saw it clearly. You always were with minho. Sometimes even disapearing with him into the woods. He didn't even want to think about what you did. You always kissed minhos cheek. Hugged him a lot. Minho always flirted with you.
And it was even worse that minho was his best friend. He loved minho dearly. They've been through everything together. And he couldn't bare the thought of losing you both when you two were so close.
This reaction to the pain he felt in his chest may have seemed overdramatic to a outsider but to newt it wasn't only about 'not getting a chance with you'. It made him realise that the love he felt for you, the hope you gave him, was all in his head. He needed your love. Desperately. And he didn't know how to cope without it again.
This worried you. A lot.The behavior reminded you of the time after his incident. How you first got to know him after waking up in the glade. He seemed broken then and he did now.It made you realise that nothing really changed about newt. He was still that small kid that you first met.
What worried you even more was his self-harming behavior. Not taking any consideration about the state of his body.
He didn't stop working even when alby told him to. Sometimes he didn't show up for dinner because of it. You always took a extra ration from frypan and brought it up to his room.
You knocked softly on the locked wooden door. "Newt?" There was no answer. "Newt I brought you dinner. You need to eat something."
Silence.
You almost layed the plate down in front of the door again when the door opened a bit.
Newt couldn't help but take that glimpse of your care.
You gave him a smile. "Hey." You held the plate out in front of you. "Here. You missed dinner."
Newt took the plate from your hands hesitantely and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Thanks."
Before he could close the door again you held the door open with your foot. "Newt what's wrong? I know I've been asking this constantly the last few days but I worry about you. The whole glade does. You're not acting like yourself." Your voice was soft.
He shrugged carelessly. "Maybe I just have my period." He tried to joke. You were glad he attempted a joke again. But you also knew it was his way of distracting of the matter at hand.
You gave him a look. "We both know that is not the reason."
Newt sighed. "There is nothing wrong. I'd like to sleep."
You scanned his face desperate for a answer. "Is all this about what you heard me talking about?"
Newt froze up. "I never heard anythin'. Good night." He closed the door and locked it. He leaned his back against the door and took deep breaths. Blinking away tears.The situation didn't stop him from defending you though. On the contrary. He got more angry. More irretable. The usual calm and collected newt was overcome with a more emotional one.
Minho and alby gave you a explicit instruction to get throught to him at breakfast table that morning.
And you were determined to do so today. This has been going on for a few days too long for your liking. When you made your way over to the gardens in search of him the sign you were met with made a stabbing pain in your heart. Newt was working in the garden as usual. Pulling vegatables out, getting new fertilizer, sowing new ones. You normally loved watching him work. But today the pain was evident on his face. His limp finally catching up with the pressure he was constantly putting on it. You saw him stumble a few times but he pushed through obviously.
Until he just...collapsed. His leg gave out under him. You could see him staying layed on the ground. His face on the earth. Exhausted. Suddenly his lanky frame you oh so loved looked a bit too skinny for your liking.
You hurriedly made your way over to him. When he noticed you he tried to scramble up fastly which only made his limp buckle under his weight again. He cursed under his breath.You kneeled down beside him and gripped his arm and a hand around his waist. "Shuck newt. What are you doing..."
"I'm fine. I'm fi-" he struggled to get up again with the few strength he had left.
You pulled him down against you by the waist again. "Stop it." There was a plea in your voice. "Stop it newt. You're hurting yourself."
He still struggled against your hold. "Let go. There is nothing...wrong" his voice cracked.
You didn't let him go. He turned his head away from you as a tear rolled down his cheek and he started to shake slightly.
Everything hurt him. His body. His mind. Only your soft touch gave him comfort.
"Shh." You turned his head to you gently. He didn't meet your eye but you could see in them the pain he was in. You wiped the tear away with your thumb.
"Come on. I'll take care of you." You stroked a dirty strand of hair out of his face and helped him stand up. A lot of his weight leaned on you as you led him into the med-hut. Clint looked up startled when he saw you carry a half limp newt in.
"Out." You ordered him but added a thankful smile.
Clint nodded with a glance at newt and scrambled out of the hut. Newt let himself fall down onto a bed. You took a blanket and tucked him into it, started to boil water on the fire and pushed another pillow under his head.
"I will be right back. Don't go anywhere." Newt watched how you gave him a sweet smile and made your way outside again.You came back with a bowl of food and a bottle of water, shut the door to the med-hut to build as much privacy as possible.
You sat yourself down on the side of his bed and showed him your loot. "What do you want?" A loving smile thrown his way.
"Carrot" he cracked out.
You put the rest of the food aside and handed him the carrot. He moved up to rest his back against the wall and hesitantely began to eat the carrot under your careful watch. The silence engulfed the room for a while only the cracks of the carrot being heard.
You made a heating pad with the boiling water meanwhile and pulled the leg of newts trousers up to gently lay the warm pad onto his throbbing knee.
You did what you always did. Care for him. Take care of him. He had missed this terribly. But he hadn't forgotten what had happened.
He looked at you a long moment. Watched your every move. He felt like he hadn't been able to look at you proberly for way too long. "Do you-" he swallowed. "Do you like my voice too?" His voice was timid. He wasn't sure why he chose that detail to ask.
"What?" You ask perplexed and looked up at his face.
"Nevermind" his voice was still raw.
"Of course I like your voice. How do you come to that question?"
Newt didn't know how to answer that question so he stayed silent.
You sighed and slid nearer to him on the bed. "Newt what's wrong? Please tell me. You are in a horrible condition. I'm worried. Everyone is worried."
"I- heard you. The other day. Talking about minho. You should give him a go if you feel that way about him."
You blinked. To you his talk was making none sense at all.
"but uh-" he swallowed. "Can I still come to you if you...?"
You frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about newt. Of course you can come to me. Always. You know that. But what has this to do with minho-?" The words now registered completely in your brain. "You think I was talking about Minho?"
Newt looked away painfully. "Yes I suppose it was obvious for a while..."
You shook your head in realisation. "Newt."
His eyes snapped up to yours. "I wasn't talking about minho. I was talking about you."
Newt thought he hadn't heard right. "W-what?"
"Yes. I mean minho is great. I love him too. But he's not you."
"You like all that about...me ?"
"Of course. You are...amazing." You laughed quietly.
Newt was speechless.
Your heart was beating a lot more faster than normally but you tried to ignore it. Taking a deep breath. "May I...lay with you?" You whispered.
He never wanted- needed anything more. But his brain was in freeze and he could only nod his head.
You cautiously layed down next to him and crawled your body under the blanket too. You were very clode to eachother. You could feel the presence of his body next to you. He felt himself relax in the presense of your body next to him. Your small breath tickling his cheek.
You decided to let your instincts take over and slid your hand around his waist gingerly. Newts body tensed up and he sucked in a small breath at the sudden contact.
"Thank you." He breathed out. His body relaxing again.
"For what?" You whispered.
"Loving me. Pulling me out. Caring for me. Without you I'd probably would have taken another go at that jump long ago." His self humor shone through.
You smiled but lightly squeezed him. "Don't joke about that. I'm glad you feel that way. Thank you too."
"For what?" He retorted my own question back.
"Being you. Looking out for me. I heard the boys were threatened by you?"
A blush formed on his cheeks. "Yeah they were saying disrespectful stuff and I can't let them wander around thinking they can try whatever they want with you."
You smiled. "Always holding the order up."
"It's my job." You looked at his big brown eyes.
"Please don't punish yourself like this again. Don't shut yourself off like this. I'm not sure why you're punishing yourself. You don't have to tell me. But I don't want you to do it. Please? At least talk to me."
"I'll try."
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streamer!ellie hcs
been thinking about gamer!ellie williams x fem!reader a little too much lately so here are some random ass hcs
part two | part three
she's a pretty big streamer on twitch, plays a lot of different games but she particularly likes rpgs bc she thinks they're the most fun kinds of streams to watch
she plays gta online (on nopixel ofc) A LOT
her rp character is definitely like a druglord or something lol
speaking of, total stoner
she usually smokes right before her streams to help her settle down (she gets kinda nervous before her streams)
she's up front about her drug use (just weed don't worry) w her fans, but definitely doesn't wanna smoke on stream bc she knows there are younger viewers watching
she streams at night, probably around 8:30-9pm AT THE EARLIEST
has a boss set up. she has an extra room in her apartment for streaming, has lots of fun little figurines and posters of her fav games/movies/artists, led lights (always set to either blue or red), and custom display, keyboard, and headset
off-topic, but she'd also an astrophysics major and is on the DEANS LIST??? our girl is so casually smart and doesn't even try that hard like
she's such a nerd, always been a big star wars, harry potter, and lotr fan since she was a kid
she casually drops the gf bomb on stream one day and the internet just about blows up
lesbian twitter died a little that day
she's kinda secretive about it tho, didn't even really mean to mention her gf (she hadn't even asked her to be her gf yet and she already publicly announced that she was off the market)
for plot purposes, i've always really liked the idea that y/n is also a public figure? maybe she's a small actor/singer or an influencer or something
y/n texted her during the stream saying "u got something u wanna ask me???"
ellie was trying so hard to not turn red and end the stream
a few days later, everyone's fav lowkey singer/actor/influencer happens to soft launch her new gf (everyone was a little sus but no one really assumed that it was ellie bc why would it be??? they've literally never interacted on the internet before?)
except what they don't know is that ellie had been really high one night and decided to shoot her shot, sending a risky dm on insta and almost pissing herself when she saw that she had actually responded
begins talking about the relationship more on stream
doesn't reveal who her gf is for a while tho, but when she gets a text from y/n asking for her help for a sec she'll just tell her chat that she'll be back bc she needs to "go help the missus"
such a loser fr
finally hard launches on y/n's bday, posting a photodump from the past few months that they've been together
lesbian twitter died again
two of the hottest internet gays off the market? oh no
but everyone really loves it
ellie likes when she brings her snacks or a drink during the stream, inviting her to sit on her lap and chat for a bit while they're waiting to join a server or something
she bought an additional gaming laptop so y/n could stream with her sometimes
ellie does random super loser stuff when this happens, like if they're playing gta she's taking her on a long car ride around the city bc she's roleplaying as y/n's sugar daddy
loves using her platform to hype up her gf's work
always reposting new songs or casting announcements that her gf is involved in, and loves being her date to big press events
omg i might have to make a little modern!ellie fic bc i love this smmmm
#reader insert#x reader#imagines#lesbian#ellie williams x reader#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie smut
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