#She Watch Channel Zero-! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ckret2 · 8 months ago

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Chapter 50 of by this point human Bill Cipher is almost relieved to be imprisoned in the Mystery Shack again: Bill tells Mabel about his adventures, and Ford and Dipper tell Fiddleford about theirs.

But first Bill's gonna die for a bit.

"Guys! You're okay!" Mabel flung her arms around Dipper and squeezed him. "We were worried you were floating around and broke your legs when the gravity came back."

"N—no, we were fine," Dipper said.

Mabel let go of Dipper to hug Ford next—and then drew back, looked him up and down, and looked at Bill. "What happened to your clothes?"

Bill said, "We fell in the lake."

"Ha!"

"Tate was kind enough to loan us dry clothes," Ford said.

"You look like big dorks." She turned to Bill last, took in his dirty haggard appearance, and said, "And you look awful. Where have you guys been the last two days?"

"Thanks for asking! I've been in..." Bill glanced at Stan. "Am I allowed to say the name of the place I've been?"

Stan shook his head. "Not in front of the kids, you don't."

Bill sighed. "Agony. I've been in agony."

"Aww!" She hugged Bill last. "I like your stupid Fishmas sweater."

"Consider it yours as soon as I can change." He wriggled out of her embrace to point at his feet. "Check out the shoes, though!"

Mabel cracked up. "Omigosh, fish slippers! Fi— Fishlers? Fishppers?"

"Fishoes?"

"Fishoes!"

Soos said, "What did happen out there?" He was in the kitchen, cleaning and reorganizing after zero gravity had tossed everything out of order. "Did you heroically save Gravity Falls from imminent multidimensional devastation?"

Ford said, "No. Aside from the effects on gravity, it... turned out to be a benign phenomenon."

"Oh," Soos said. "Like... what Bill said?"

Ford grimaced. He managed to just nod instead of saying afraid so.

Again, he expected Bill to gloat; again, Bill said nothing. He didn't even look at Ford.

"It wasn't an eclipse, though," Dipper muttered, shooting a dark look at Bill. "It would've been an eclipse if it had gotten between us and gravity. It was basically the opposite."

"What do you want from me." The question was more sighed than spoken. "It was called an eclipse when I was growing up, I dunno what to tell you."

Ford, Dipper, and Mabel all looked straight at Bill at the mention of his childhood; but he didn't say anything more. He just trudged to the kitchen and leaned tiredly on the doorframe, watching Soos work. "Grab me something from the fridge."

"Sure thing, dawg." Soos opened the door. "What do you want?"

Bill was silent for a moment. Slowly, like a spirit medium channeling a faint message from the other side, he said, "I think... the body wants a vegetable. Gimme some guacamole."

"Sorry, dude, we had the last of it with dinner."

"Fine. Just give me an avocado and salsa, I'll make do."

"You got it."

"Two avocados."

Soos started rummaging through the jumbled mess in the fridge. "So if everything was okay, what took you guys so long to get back?"

"Yeah, I've been wanting to ask," Stan said. (He hadn't been able to in the car; when everyone realized Bill had passed out as soon as he'd sat down, they'd fallen into an awkward silence.) "Was the demon making trouble or what?"

Dipper and Ford exchanged a glance; who wanted to share the embarrassing news? Ford said, "Actually, under the circumstances, he was... well behaved." Ford resisted the urge to add the modifier "tolerably." It seemed mean-spirited. Bill had constantly complained, sure, but in retrospect could Ford say the complaints were unjustified?

"Then what took you so long?"

Now Ford felt Bill's gaze on him, watching him sharply. Ford understood now. This was why Bill hadn't mentioned saving them. He was holding it in reserve—offering a deal. If Ford and Dipper didn't embarrass him, he wouldn't embarrass them. If they mentioned his breakdown, he could cut in, claim it was natural for him to be in shock after performing such a difficult, heroic deed.

It wasn't blackmail, per se. Revealing the truth wouldn't cost anybody anything but a bit of momentary self-consciousness. But wasn't that just like Bill—only passing up an opportunity to boast so he could use it to shield his ego.

"It was Bill's fault," Dipper said quickly. Ford's heart leaped into his throat. "Because—we had to climb up and down the tunnel to Gravity Peak, and he only brought dress shoes and dumb fish slippers. We kept having to slow down."

Ford felt the pressure of Bill's gaze slide off of his face as he turned away, staring back into the kitchen. Bill said, "Yep. Guess I should have brought my hiking shoes—oh, wait."

Stan said, "You could've got some better shoes when we were at the mall! You're the one who wanted those dumb dress shoes."

"In my defense, I didn't think you paranoiacs would ever let me wander around in the great outdoors—much less force me to." He leaned more heavily against the doorway with a groan, muttering, "My legs are still jelly. Worthless human body."

Dipper glanced at Ford, as if checking with him to see if he'd made the right decision. Ford gave him a tiny nod of approval. After the day they'd had, humiliating Bill just for the sake of humiliation wouldn't have served any justice; it would have just been mean.

For the past three decades, Ford had always felt that Bill deserved the strongest possible punishment, both for his prior atrocities and to prevent future ones; but, he wanted to deal with Bill swiftly and efficiently. No gloating, no torture—just one quick shot. Sure, he got some grim satisfaction from knowing Bill was unhappy—knowing that Bill's vile intentions were being thwarted—and if anyone decided to treat Bill cruelly for cruelty's sake, he couldn't say they were wrong for it... but the thought of committing it himself made him uneasy.

He tried to remember if he'd felt that way when Bill had first arrived.

"I found the salsa!" Soos called from the fridge. "Somehow it all floated onto the highest shelf? Which kind do you want?"

"That one with a picture of a sobbing baby on it."

"Extra spicy it is!"

When Soos handed over the salsa and avocados, Bill said, "Hey, Hick Junior said his father was making announcements about staying inside and low to the ground? You didn't happen to have anything to do with that, did you?"

"Oh—yeah, I called Old Man McGucket and said I had a hot anonymous tip about what was going on," Soos said. "You said it was this whole public safety thing, so I figured the whole town should probably know? He's the local respected science guy now, I thought he'd know what to do with that kind of important information."

Bill grunted. "Terrific, he gets credit for my help. But you'd all be giving me heck if I'd said nothing and half the town broke their necks, so... whatever, net zero. Here." Bill took off the Monster-Mon backpack and swung it over to Soos. "Your reward. Good job."

"Whoa, haha, this is heavy. What's in here, a bag of rocks?"

"No, just one." Bill pushed off the doorway, wheeled unsteadily around, and trudged toward the stairs.

Soos unzipped the bag. A drugged geodite blinked sleepily up at him. He gasped. "Dude! A real Monster-Mon! Is this my call to epic adventure with a lovable animal sidekick?"

Ford grimaced, remembering watching Bill feed a geodite cold medicine. "Ah."

"I think I'll name you... Rocky," Soos said.

"That—really shouldn't be here. Its natural environment is caves, I don't know if it's safe for it to be out here—for it or us." They had been known to bite.

"Aww." Soos cradled the backpack like a swaddled baby. "Do you think it would be okay if I made it a fake cave to live in?" He gasped. "I could make an exhibit for him! I'll say he's a living meteorite! People love aliens."

"I'm not sure that..." Ford sighed. Well, none of them were going back to the cave today. "Maybe you should put it in the cellar where it's darker."

"Great idea!" Soos carried the geodite through the living room. "Hey, I've already got a mattress down there. You're gonna love it, lil dude..."

Ford hoped Soos didn't get attached to that thing. He shot a glower at Bill.

Bill was already on the stairs. "Now everybody leave me alone. Except you." He pointed at Mabel. "I don't want to do anything but lay on the floor and talk about whatever Mabel wants to talk about for the next three hours."

"Cartoons and boy bands."

"Yes," Bill sighed in relief, already preparing to turn 95% of his brain off. "Wow, yes, that's exactly what I want to talk about. I can't wait." He grabbed the handrail as he climbed heavily, leaning against it for balance as he dragged himself upstairs.

Before Mabel could follow him, Ford put a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, before you go—there's something I wanted to tell you and Dipper." Voice low, he said, "You remember when you told me that Bill had mentioned Edward Bishop Bishop?"

"Yeah? When we were drawing our houses."

"Something Bill said while we were out shook a memory loose. It reminded me of a book I read as an undergraduate—Flatworld, written by Edward Bishop Bishop."

"Aww," Mabel said. "Not an artist?"

"No, although he did illustrate the book," Ford said. "It's a novella that combines Victorian social commentary with a primer on higher-dimensional mathematics by using an allegory about sentient shapes living in a two-dimensional world."

"That's what you were talking about in the boat, right?" Dipper asked. "When Bill said something about..." He scrunched his face, trying to remember, "'Up in the sky'...?"

"Upward-but-not-skyward," Ford said, "to describe something that isn't higher than us in the third dimension, but rather, in a higher dimension relative to us."

"How do you know about it?" Dipper asked. "The first time it came up, you said the name Edward Bishop Bishop was familiar, but..."

Ford sighed in irritation, "I read it as an undergraduate—in a haze of sleep-deprived exhaustion just before finals week—to get extra credit in a course on the history of mathematics. I immediately forgot ninety percent of it—which I'm sure is why I never thought of it in relation to Bill. If only I'd remembered the book thirty years ago, when it might have done me some good..."

"It's okay," Mabel said. "I forget almost everything I've read for class basically as soon as I've taken the test. I think it's pretty good that you remember anything about Flatworld at all!"

Ford smiled awkwardly. He was afraid that might say more about Mabel's study habits than about his. "Thank you, Mabel."

"And you did have a lot on your mind thirty years ago," Dipper said. "Like, Bill. Literally. On your mind."

Mabel added, "Doing creepy possession things!"

"I suppose that's true, too." What would he have done if he had remembered the book during that frenetic, delirious period when Bill and Ford had wrestled for control over his body? He'd been in no fit shape to go to the library. "I did think about it a couple of times in the multiverse—when I was visiting Exwhylia, for instance—but at the time I'd brushed it off as a lucky coincidence that I'd read a book that invented a society of shapes. It wouldn't be the first time science fiction predicted science fact. But now that Bill's mentioned it twice, I'd say it's less likely a coincidence and more likely that Edward Bishop Bishop was another of his 'students.'"

"Is there a way for us to find out?" Dipper asked. "If he was Bill's student, would he have left behind any... hints? Coded messages?"

"Like secret society conspiracy things?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah!"

"I suppose it's possible," Ford said. "If Flatworld happens to feature a one-eyed yellow triangle sharing the secrets of the universe, we'll know for sure. But, there's only one way to find out: now that I do remember the book, we can pick up a copy for research."

"That's great," Dipper said. "If Bill told the author about his home dimension... there's no telling how much we can learn about him by reading it."

"So it's basically a math textbook disguised as a story?" Mabel groaned. "That's just like doing word problems! The most confusing kind of math problems. Why does Bill keep making me have homework this summer?"

"You know what he's like," Dipper said, elbowing her with a grin. "Dastardly villain."

"Pure evil."

Ford huffed. "If it helps, as I recall the book teaches you about math concepts, but it doesn't make you do any math."

She let out a longer, more theatrical groan. "Fine. But if there's a cousin Throckmorton I'm throwing the book away."

"I dunno, sounds kinda neat," Dipper said. "It might give me a leg up when we start geometry."

"I don't remember the details of what it covers, but I bet it could," Ford agreed. "I have to visit Fiddleford this evening to return the equipment he loaned us, and... discuss the events of the last couple of days. If the library's still open when we're done I can go by and see if they have a copy of Flatworld."

"Can I come along?" Dipper asked.

"Of course. Just give me a moment to..." He looked down at himself, "change into something a little less ridiculous."

Dipper tried not to laugh. "Okay. I'll wait here. Mabel, do you want to...?"

"No thanks!" She pointed upstairs. "I've got a captive audience to teach about boy bands. I'm going to make him listen to Sev'ral Timez's entire discography."

"He's already had a pretty bad day. Don't torture him even more."

Mabel blew a raspberry. "He'll love it." She bounded up the stairs.

Ford headed to his and Stan's guest room. Dipper took off his backpack, dropped it in the living room, and stuck his hands in his pockets—then pulled one out in surprise.

The enchanted friendship bracelets. They were still in his pocket. Bill hadn't had them on since Dipper's out-of-body experience that morning.

Dipper stared at them uneasily; then hung them in their usual place on the entryway coat rack and resumed waiting for Ford.

####

It was a rare opportunity that Bill was allowed in the kids' room; but with Ford and Dipper out of the house, the one person most likely to complain wasn't around. So after having extracted a strict promise for him to behave himself, Mabel had let him in, for ease of gossip and CD-switching.

But even if Dipper had been in the room, he wouldn't have found much worth complaining about. Once Bill had finished his snack (he'd eaten the avocados like pears, skin and all, and drank down the salsa like a chunky smoothie), he'd laid down on the floor, and since then had remained a dead lump. Face buried in his crossed arms, curled up in the oversized Fishmas sweater and a set of loose stolen-from-Soos sweats to replace the towel skirt, he might as well have been a pile of laundry that had sprouted curly golden hair. Mabel had put Sev'ral Timez's first album on the boombox, sat herself on Bill's back, and started brushing out his damp, knotted curls without asking as she talked about each track.

To her delight, Bill started insisting they skip past the slow, emotional love ballads, saying he preferred the bouncier dancier tracks; she thought the fact that he was displaying a preference rather than begging to turn the band off was a good sign. He was actually listening to the music. Possibly even liking it! Maybe she'd manage to convert him into a fan. She recounted her experiences with the band's cloned members and Bill threw in the polite "Mhm" and "Uh-huh?" where appropriate without lifting his head from the floor or opening his eyes. She'd thought he might have had something to throw in about the cloning thing, that seemed like the kind of conspiracy nonsense he might have a hand in; but if he knew anything, he wasn't up to sharing it.

When she'd wrangled his hair into some semblance of order, she got to work on his fingernails. His arm was like a dead weight in her hands, loose and unresisting but not helping, either. He shifted his head over to rest on his other arm and otherwise didn't move.

"Your fingernail polish is destroyed," Mabel said. On three fingers the paint had been all but completely scraped off. When he'd left a couple of days ago, it had just been lightly chipped. She started stripping the remainder with nail polish remover.

"Is it?" Bill mumbled. "Mmh. Yeah, probably from clawing in the dirt."

"Pfff. What did you do the last couple of days?"

Bill slowly sucked in a breath so deep that Mabel felt his back lift her a little higher off the ground; and then he just as slowly let it back out. "Do not," he said, "get me started."

He got started.

He began with a tirade about the contempt that both Ford and Dipper had shown him and his far superior subject matter expertise for the last two days; and then about being hauled out and exposed during totality after repeating over and over how dangerous it was and how much he would prefer to not do that—Ford had even admitted he'd dragged Bill out into open air just because he knew how much he didn't want that!—and from there Bill looped back to listing a whole litany of gripes against what he perceived as egregious and undeserved disrespect from Ford over the last couple of weeks—"Youmight have lied to me about that glass pyramid, but at least you didn't laugh in my face about it!"

(Mabel thought Ford pretty much had the right to be as disrespectful to Bill as he wanted, after everything Bill had put him through. Lying about a silly imaginary cult was less mean than lying about taking over the universe. But part of being a good friend, she knew well, was lending a sympathetic ear to your friend's venting without suggesting that said friend might be in the wrong. She had a Color Critters episode about being honest with your friends she could show him later.)

Bill seemed to gain strength as he aired his grievances, bolstered by Mabel's encouraging "mhm" "uh-huh" noises. By the time she'd finished repainting his first hand (she'd picked a glittery purple polish she thought would complement all the yellow he wore), he was sitting upright and Mabel had to sit in front of him to start on his other hand.

"—and my stupid feet hurt," Bill griped. "Since Stanford made me traipse halfway through the mountain barefoot because he wouldn't let us go back down before the gravity returned and I don't even own shoes for spelunking. And my knees hurt, and my back hurts, and I could have killed for a walking stick but do think they'd have allowed me one if I asked? Because I don't think so! I tripped over—I don't know, a hundred roots."

"Worst hiking trip ever." Mabel finished painting his second hand, and started looking through her miniature sticker sheets for some fun stickers to put on Bill's first hand now that it was dry.

"Worst in the history of your planet! Even the Donner party had a better hike! At least some of them got something to eat," Bill said. "All I got for two days was a handful of cereal and Stanford's liquid meat in a toothpaste tube."

Mabel stuck out her tongue.

"And Stanford walks too fast. And your brother kept trying to squeeze through gaps between trees I couldn't get through. And Stanford kept fiddling with his—stupid—useless antique Civil War lantern he's so proud of, and he's just lucky that I thought to bring a way to find a light source even though I didn't even need one, because I knew he would bring that stupid Civil War lantern..." Bill's complaints petered out.

And then, voice oddly quiet, he said, "And I saw my corpse."

Mabel looked up from carefully placing a yellow butterfly on Bill's middle fingernail. There was a dark look in his eyes. "Oh," she said. "Oh, Bill. I'm so sorry."

This wasn't just a bad camping trip. This was serious. She had to treat it seriously.

She ejected the current CD from the boombox, put in another Sev'ral Timez album, and skipped to track 4: "This goes out to anyone having a bad day. Ladies, this one's for you. 'Girl, today has been—straight whack. You don't know how you're gonna—bounce back. But any time you're down, I'll always be around; I'll drive your heart back to Happy Town'..." Oh yeah. That was the exact energy Mabel was trying to channel.

"And I didn't feel anything when I touched it." Bill was staring down at his hands like he barely recognized them. "No energy, no connection—nothing. What if there isn't a connection anymore? What if I'm just a human now?"

Did that weigh on Bill? Clearly, enough that he'd decided to endure imprisonment in the Mystery Shack rather than kill his body to see if there was still a triangle inside.

But he'd never talked about it before now; she'd thought maybe he just didn't worry about it.

But that was dumb. Of course he worried about it. He was just like her. When something scared him, he just pushed it down and hoped that if he ignored it enough, everything would be okay! Until he couldn't pretend anymore.

And she'd never heard him sound this scared before.

She took his hands and hoped that would help.

He squeezed her hands so hard it hurt. His still-wet nail polish smeared on her hand. "What if I'm really gonna grow old and die in this rotting meat doll, what if I never go home again—? There's so much I haven't done, I was going to throw an eternal party, it would have been beautiful, everyone would have loved me, but now— and now—" He let out a choked noise, head bowing over their joined hands, posture broken. Hot tears landed on the backs of Mabel's hands. "And I didn't even get to, just, die and be done with it, I have to know I'm dead, I have to know everything I was going to do..."

"Hey—come here." Mabel tentatively wrapped her arms around Bill's neck and shoulders, compressing his bouncy curls. She half expected him to pull away.

Instead, he buried his face against her shoulder and hugged her back like she was the only thing keeping him from drowning.

After spending the last two days suppressing his grief and fear so hard his body couldn't function through it—after spending over a month suppressing his grief and fear—finally, finally, he peeled the tape off his cracked shell to let it leak out. He couldn't hold it together anymore. He'd barely put himself back together long enough to get on his feet and make it to the shack. This was the only place it was safe to fall apart. He muffled his sobs in Mabel's sweater.

And Mabel—who was used to being comforted by adults but who had never been called upon herself to comfort anybody but her brother and the occasional friend—had no idea how she was supposed to comfort a zillion-year-old almost-definitely-adult alien through an existential crisis.

Not for the first time, she wondered whether she might have gotten in over her head.

She pushed the worry down. Everything would be okay. Bill needed her—she could feel him trembling—and he didn't have anybody else in the world he could trust. And if she didn't know what else to do, at the least she could keep hugging him.

Voice so tight it almost squeezed out as a whisper, Bill said, "I was going to make a utopia here, but now I'm just gonna die here."

"I'm so sorry." How do you comfort someone processing the fear of mortality? She'd never processed it herself, she was thirteen, it was just another scary future thing she'd deal with when she had to. The best she knew how to do was be nice. "But... I'm here, okay? For—for anything you need." (Anything that wasn't evil, anyway—but now was not the appropriate time to make Bill feel like her support was conditional.)

"Tell me I won't die."

"You won't die! You're never, ever gonna die." Mabel hugged him tighter. "I'll fistfight Death. I'll—break his bony kneecaps."

"Thanks."

"I'll swing at the reaper with a baseball bat."

Bill laughed feebly. "With nails in it?"

"Yeah! And barbed wire! Connected to a battery!"

"Oh, we're taking Death down. Nobody's dying ever again."

"Everybody lives forever!" Mabel laughed; but it quickly petered out. "But... I'm not gonna let you die. You're my friend, and I won't let anything happen to you."

Bill's trembling had stopped, and his embrace was less death-grippy. "I owe you one, Shooting Star." From Bill, "thanks" sounded hollow, but "I owe you one" really sounded like a thank you.

"Hey. If I tell you a secret, do you promise not to do anything evil with it?"

"Sure. Promise."

Mabel doubted it, but that was as good as she was gonna get. "I've always thought you're still a triangle on the inside. You've got those creepy cat eyes that see the future and stuff! If you were just a normal human, wouldn't you have normal human eyes?"

Bill made a noncommittal noise.

"Plus, if you'd really been turned into a human on the inside, then being in a human body wouldn't feel so bad—right? It'd just feel normal."

Bill was silent for a moment. Voice hoarse, he whispered, "I hope you're right."

####

Fiddleford answered the door himself. "Stanford, Dipper, come in! I was just cleaning up." He had a broom, and the great hall's floor behind him was sparkling with broken glass. Ford was relieved to see Fiddleford had put on shoes. Unfortunately, they were fuzzy slippers. "Pardon the mess!"

"Think nothing of it. The shack's been turned upside-down, too." Ford stepped around a broken chair. "Don't you have anyone to help you clean, though?"

"Oh, I do, I do! I built me a Janitorial Executive Drone to tidy up," Fiddleford said. "I'm just cleaning up the mess JED left."

Ford and Dipper looked around at the shattered glass, broken furniture, scorch marks around the fireplace, and torn curtains. Dipper asked, "Did... JED make this place any cleaner?"

"Not at all!"

Ford and Dipper caught Fiddleford up on their scientific findings of the last couple days. Ford was almost embarrassed to admit they hadn't found any noteworthy quantities of micro-rips, as if he were confessing to a personal academic embarrassment—even after Fiddleford pointed out that it had been his own theory, not Ford's. (All the same, Ford hated to be so wrong, even by association. Being wrong felt like a moral failing.)

In return, Fiddleford told them what he'd been up to. He'd confirmed with them NASA fellas that the odd gravity effects weren't detected anywhere but Gravity Falls. At their behest, he'd set up some sensors around town, and when gravity suddenly reversed, the measurements they'd taken had allowed him to make a very loose model of the shape of the force that caused it. He showed Ford and Dipper the model on a computer in his lab, black screen with sharp glowing green lines forming an armature in the shape of a force. It looked like an enormous flying sausage that tapered down at one end. Too little detail to tell exactly what it was; but it certainly could have been an axolotl.

It was turning to look at the cliff where they'd stood.

Fiddleford wasn't pleased to find out the information he'd passed on from Soos had originally come from Bill; but he'd suspected it and already done all his soul-searching before reluctantly sharing his advice with the masses and hoping it wouldn't come back to bite him. "He didn't bother to warn us that gravity would actually disappear today, though," Fiddleford said indignantly. "So he could crow about being right and still get to see some folks get hurt, I reckon."

"Actually, this time I don't think he was hiding it. I kinda think he just made a mistake?" Dipper said.

Ford nodded. "Dipper's right. Bill was incredibly alarmed this morning when it became clear our estimates were wrong. It only made more trouble for him."

"I suppose," Fiddleford said grudgingly; then gave them a sharp look. "This mornin'? You took him camping?"

Ford and Dipper winced. Ford mumbled, "Not for fun."

"Stanford Pines—!"

It took a minute of hooting and hollering before Ford could calm Fiddleford down enough to explain the circumstances: that they'd only brought Bill because of just how much he explicitly did not want to be brought; that it had been a thoroughly unpleasant experience for everyone and Ford had never expected it to be otherwise; and that Bill had proven useful—Ford decided not to share the details—but he hadn't forgotten that Bill always made himself useful before he betrayed someone. If a man helped a little old lady cross a street, opened her door for her, put up her groceries, and then knocked her out and burgled her house, only one of those actions mattered.

(Dipper fell silent rather than help reassure Fiddleford. Ford supposed that was because he'd objected to bringing Bill, too.)

Fiddleford grudgingly admitted that under the circumstances, bringing Bill had been logical. "But that's just the thing—sometimes your logic don't account for the fact that you've got human emotions, too."

"Ah, yes, those human emotions. One of my worst flaws," Ford joked.

Fiddleford didn't laugh. "I mean it, Stanford. The most logical plan in the world don't mean nothing if he talks you into throwing it aside."

Ford thought of all the times he'd let his temper get the best of him over the last couple of days. Could he really say he'd made the logical decision when he'd made it out of anger? "Yes. I... see what you mean."

"Just be careful," Fiddleford said. "I saw you under that demon's oppression for months and never thought it was anything worse than how you always got around finals week—heck, for all I saw, I reckon he coulda started possessing you without me noticing—and I don't want that to happen again!"

Dipper winced. Ford found somewhere other than Fiddleford's face to look.

"What?"

"He... did. Possess me." (Dipper didn't pipe up with his experience. Ford didn't blame him.)

"He what? When?!"

"Remember toward the end of the project? When I started pulling all-nighters to finish the calculations...?"

Fiddleford smacked his forehead and sank down into the nearest chair.

Ford winced again. "I should have told you." During their talks over the past year, he'd been very reluctant to mention Bill or the fallout at the end of the portal project. They both had. "But—I assumed you'd guessed by now. What did you think was happening?"

"Frankly? I thought you'd started taking something illicit."

Ford snorted. "I—all right." He'd done stupider things during finals week.

"If he was possessin' you, why didn't you ask for help? I could've found somebody who knows how to do exorcisms. Did he not let you? Or—or did I miss you trying to tell me...?"

Ford shook his head. "No, I didn't want an exorcism." He wasn't sure Bill was the kind of "demon" that responded to exorcisms anyway. "At the time, I thought... that he was helping me."

Dipper reluctantly piped up, "He... possessed me once too. I didn't know that's what he was doing until too late, but... Even after you know he's a bad guy, he's really good at making you think he's just helping."

Fiddleford didn't immediately say anything to that. Ford couldn't meet his gaze.

Finally, Fiddleford said, voice low and worried, "Just tell me you won't let him get into your head again. Either one'a you."

Dipper shook his head. "Definitely not."

Ford said, "As he is now with all his powers gone, I don't think he can enter my head. Anyway, I had a metal plate surgically installed—"

"I didn't mean that way."

Right. "I won't. I promise."

Fiddleford nodded. "Didja really get a metal plate installed?"

Ford knocked on it demonstratively.

"Hmm." Fiddleford stroked his beard thoughtfully. He pointed at a contraption in the corner that looked like a ten foot tall tuning fork with electricity arcing between its tips. "Try not to get within five feet of that thing."

Ford eyed it nervously.

####

Fiddleford insisted Ford and Dipper stay for dinner. It was the first proper meal they'd had after two days of tubes mushy meat and mushy vegetables; so they tried not to show their disappointment when they received mushy meat and mushy vegetables. Fiddleford's automatic meatloaf-and-mashed-potatoes maker did its job more competently than JED did its, but Ford suspected that was partially because it didn't have legs to let it go get in trouble.

As they drove back into town, a stoplight turned red at the intersection with Main Street. Ford glanced down Main toward the library and asked, "Do you still want to stop by the library?"

Dipper, who'd nearly nodded off, blinked sleepily. "Huh?"

"To pick up Flatworld?"

Dipper yawned. "Honestly, I kinda just wanna go home and sleep."

"I hear that." He'd almost drowned today. He was exhausted. "Perhaps this weekend."

"Aren't you going to that concert with Mabel?"

"Was that this Saturday?" He'd lost track. Mabel had won four tickets from some radio contest to see Phrancisco in Portland and had asked Ford if he'd like to come. "I'm undecided. I'd like to go—I've been a fan of Invisible Plastic Yellow since they formed." He was the one who'd told Mabel about the band after their Portland trip and gotten her their albums. He'd had a phase when he'd really gotten into cutting-edge underground new wave music. It had made him feel conventionally cool, which not many things did. Now, all his musical tastes were three decades behind. He hadn't even known Phrancisco had a solo career until Mabel came home with tickets.

"But she's bringing her friends, and whoever has the fourth ticket needs to chaperone; and I'm afraid an old man escorting around three young girls would look... odd. It may be more appropriate for one of the other girls' parents to go." But he did want to see Phrancisco. "Perhaps I'll wait and see whether Mabel talks me into it."

"Better pack your bag now, then."

Ford laughed. He had a point. "If I do go to Portland, maybe I can stop by a bookstore to pick up Flatworld. If it tells us anything useful about Bill, I suspect we'll want a household copy for reference."

He was eager to reread it. He'd forgotten so much of it since college. He only recalled the vague, overarching plot: something about a third-dimensional sphere teaching a second-dimensional square about realities with higher and lower dimensions—from zero dimensions up to four—and a stuffy society based on what geometric shape you were... but that was it. He probably never even would have remembered the phrase "up but not north" if Bill hadn't referenced it. He wondered how much it could have helped him if he'd reread it sooner.

Dipper yawned again. "Sounds good."

The light turned green; and Ford drove past the library and headed on home.

####

(After going full tilt for two months, we finally get a breather lol. I hope y'all enjoyed, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #mabel pines #fiddleford mcgucket #grunkle ford #dipper pines #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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ivorycello · 6 months ago

Text

An Introduction to the Lifesteal SMP - Season 6 Starts on July 6th

The Premise

Lifesteal is a competitive, PVP based soft-anarchy server, with one core gimmick: In the server, if you kill somebody, you can steal one of their permanent hotbar hearts, with a maximum of twenty hearts. If you drop down to zero hearts, you are banned off of the server, unless another player revives you with an expensive item called a revive beacon.

One of the biggest draws in the fandom is the incredibly organic improv storytelling that arises from the server, with the competition extending past simple combat. Players clash as they all attempt to enact their own plans, creating moral and emotional conflicts that draw in stream viewers and make the server incredible to follow as events unfold.

Watching Lifesteal Streams and attempting to have a complete picture of what is going on is very time intensive. Luckily, starting in season five, they do weekly sessions where the most important events usually happen.

How seasons work

Each season runs independently of each other, and the entire world resets when they move to a new season.

There is no in-universe lore explanation for what happens during a season reset. Some streamers may choose to treat it like they’re playing a different character, but most choose to leave things that happened in previous seasons in the past while still acknowledging it. Knowing what happens in previous seasons may help you understand things more, but is not necessary in the slightest.

Is Lifesteal a roleplay server? Kinda, kinda not.

Please respect that creators have different levels of interest in rp and are primarily on the server to make youtube videos of a particular niche.

Lifesteal is unscripted, though different players will create and enact elaborate plans with insane amounts of effort, but all of this is with the goal of a genuine, entertaining reaction.

Most members enter every situation with the primary goal of creating a good video, and their actions often reflect this. Videos are designed to be standalone content. Each video tells a complete story, and doesn't often tie into other videos or arcs. Lifestealers will also twist the narrative in order to create a linear storyline, including changing the order of events, or even just straight up lying. (We’re looking at you, Mapicc.) Due to this, with few exceptions, it is near impossible to gain full context of an arc or event via video alone, as so much context and information will be glanced over or covered up. Streams are a much more reliable way of understanding the full story.

New and leaving members

The eight new members announced so far for season six are:

Derapchu

Ecorridor

Chiefxd

Kaboodle

Flamefrags

SB737

Hannahxxrose

Manepear

Members who have left over the past season are:

ItzSubz_

Vitalasy

Parrotx2

Rekrap2

Poafa

Midmysticx

Branzycraft

Where to watch Lifesteal

There are a few active streamers and uploaders, who we will introduce below, and there is also a fan-run archive of all Lifestealer vods that you can access here.

The archive runs as far back as 2020, though only becomes mostly reliable around July 2022, when the project started. The archive also has links to every members’ youtube and twitch account, as well as any vod channel they may run themselves!

POV Recommendations Frequent Streamers: If you want a consistent pov to watch, and be able to follow a consistent storyline here are your best choices. PrinceZam: Zam was lifesteal’s most consistent streamer in previous seasons and puts a very large amount of effort into his rp and storytelling. Goes live at random times for long hours. Kaboodle: Kab is a new addition this season, but she consistently puts an incredible amount of effort into rp and storytelling. She streams most days at 7pm EST! ChiefXD: New Member who streams daily at 11am EST. HannahxxRose: New member, frequent streamer, but we don't know how her streaming style will adapt to lifesteal yet. Derapchu: He’s a little bit of a freak. Australian but has a bad sleep schedule so he streams at US friendly times or earlier. Does pretty long streams. Pangi: Has been on hiatus, but usually streams regularly around 2-4 PM EST at an EU friendly time for shorter hours. He typically does sillier, shorter projects. 4CVIT: Frequent streamer when he does stream, but may go inactive for long periods of time. Kinda roleplays, one of the better builders on the server and likes to keep projects secret from chat.

Honorable Mention: Follow these people anyway, they’ll probably go live for big events or random streams. Minutetech: Typically streams large events and sessions Mapicc: Occasionally streams, mostly important events Ashswag: Occasionally streams, mostly important events Jumper: Occasionally streams Bacon: Occasionally streams Woogie: Frequent streamer at the start of the season, but will become less active when college starts again for him Roshambogames: Occasionally Streams, mostly important Events

Youtube: Current Season: Frequent Uploads: Mapicc: Uploads frequently on main and 2nd channel, however he is known for lying a lot in his videos. It’s a little bit funny. Minutetech: Long videos about huge arcs, mostly truthful but may simplify some stuff. Wemmbu: Long videos about huge projects. FlameFrags: Medium length SMP videos. ChiefXD: Has an episodic style, we are not sure how that will change for lifesteal as he is a new member. Jumper: Mix of long form videos and short videos about a variety of topics. Squiddo: Fun, High Effort and Energy videos about a variety of topics. Lots of custom art. SB737: Uploads often but unsure if he will upload Lifesteal.

Do Not Upload as Frequently But Its Good When They Do Planetlord, Roshambogames, Ashswag, Spokeishere, Princezam, Baconnwaffles, ECorridor, Pentar, Clownpierce

Past Seasons, we linked povs that cover full seasons or large amounts of a season, but other non listed members still have fantastic one off videos about single events or arcs. Link All Videos Playlist (updated infrequently)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiRXq4v6FXPn8D15UEAY6oZuPF23-NTG8 Mer S4 Summary Document

Lifesteal Season 4 Directory (public access version) Cog S4 Summary Doc

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E0Mi2s64to6BzoAJuWHw16lnJpdEdYBXfd62tC7O0jY/edit?usp=sharing Minute S5 Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6xtt50MzkHWil_vQbgkll9rZTDyfI5k1 Spoke S4: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYmAm1lW6hlgK3WHPORSYeC80PVNUuUcZ All Parrot Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu0onnEWPanttCW1zIfh25bQ_b5sBo8_p Clownzy S3 Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCUTLKqDTev0e1y9Paex97_KP-TpF6QIs

Squiddo S5: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWJegiCG6X_iKkO-CEd6J9GMAhkzYjVn&si=Kx6lLPLZQeexGdio Baconnwaffles1: https://www.youtube.com/@baconnwaffles1/videos

Princezam S3: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmPnYnLs0WLoJTEdRpFBMTS21X631LKtu&si=37bk0Gs1haPYOSEd Mapicc, warning. Unreliable Narrator. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsiSq_WYMOAV7HPEqn8QY_981n19u2qO0 Roshambo: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaa_QQN2V8hZ78ACgXFOGt4tGcfDPTp_B

Stream Etiquette

Do not stream snipe / metagame, which includes sharing or hinting at any info whatsoever, even silly things, about another creators playthrough that the streamer wouldn’t know otherwise, you will get banned in all lifestealers chats. Information revealed via videos is considered fair game.

Do not backseat game or backseat lore Lifesteal Members on Tumblr

Several Lifesteal members have public tumblr accounts they use to varying degrees. Because of this, we use the #Lifesteal Spoilers tag to mark posts they shouldn't see because of metagaming reasons or when we just don’t want them to see it. They’re mostly chill, please just block them if you don’t want to deal with them. hdusa - Princezam lowkeywaffling - Baconnwaffles0 Neverpoor - Ashswag TheRealSquiddo- Squiddo BigPangolinMan - Pangi

Fancontent:

Lifesteal has a big fanartist community and we encourage you to join in!

Duo Name List

Lifesteal Animatics and Edits Wormhole Zine

Minecraft Roleplay Analysis - Barrier Blocks

#lifesteal smp #mcyt #mcytblr #hannahxxrose #lssmp

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killerlookz · 8 months ago

Note

Hello my fellow Criminal Minds fan! 😊

May I please request headcanons for Spencer falling for a female agent who’s cynical about love and relationships due to being hurt in the past?

a/n: thank you sm for the request! i'd be happy to write this for you! :-)

Falling in Love Again | Spencer Reid Headcannons

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

content: mentions of reader having been cheated on in the past, uhhhh that's really it haha

word count: 1,478 (sorry she's so long)

Spencer Reid had always been excited about falling in love, the thought of being so close to another person- to share so much with someone was such a wonderful thing to him.

Especially after watching his mom and dad growing up, and the way his father treated her-Spencer was dead set on never becoming anything like him, he looked forward to treating a woman right and spending the rest of his life with her.

But, for as excited as he was he was probably 20 times more nervous about the whole falling in love thing.

So when you came around, and he started to experience that warm, creeping feeling in his chest- he felt a little bit like his world was going to end.

Spencer had never made a move on anyone before, sure he did make out with Lila Archer that one time but he didn't exactly initiate it.

Spencer decided just to channel all of his romantic interest in becoming friends with you, at least he got to spend time with you, that's what really mattered to him. Maybe one day it would turn into something more.

Well.. he hoped until he couldn't help but overhear...

"I went on my first date in months last night, and all this guy did was talk about himself the entire time- didn't let me get a word out, I mean, can you believe it?" Emily says, exasperated

You look up at her as she stands in front of your desk, "Oh, trust me Emily, I can believe it." You shake your head

"I mean," She throws her hands up, "What is it with men? What's wrong with them."

"Everything," You smirk, "They're men. I can't remember I had a good experience with one of them- never maybe?" You laugh. "I've given up on dating."

Your words sunk into Spencer's brain, leaving him with a heavy feeling all around he felt awful- not just about the fact that his chances with you seemed to reduce to zero right there in that moment, but because of how upset you seemed under your sarcastic exterior, he could tell you'd really been hurt before.

A few weeks later you're out for drinks with Emily, Penelope, Morgan, Spencer, and JJ. Amidst the loud, drunken conversations and music at the bar- you can hear the faint chiming sounds of your ring tone, Who would be calling this late?

As you take your phone from your pocket, your stomach drops when you see the number flashing on the screen. The mere sight of those 10 digits making you want to throw your phone to the ground and stomp on it until nothing remains.

"Ooooh, who's that calling." Morgan smirks

You look him dead in the eyes and respond flatly, "My ex."

Morgan's smile doesn't fade instead his smirk seems to deepen, "You two got a little thang goin on?"

"No," You shove your phone back in your pocket, "More like he's trying to get back in my pants after cheating on me- twice."

"Ooh!" Morgan responds, wincing, "So he's a dog."

"A pig is more like it." You scoff, "Who does he think he is. I can't even imagine giving my time to another man again, and even if I could- what makes him so confident I'd give him the time of day."

That familiar heavy pain hits Spencer again.

He's staring at you, and it's like the rest of the bar doesn't even exist. Only you, as you bite your lip, trying to hide any emotion in your face.

Spencer has become good at reading your emotions, maybe it's because he spends so much time with you- maybe it's because of how often he finds himself staring at your face. As much as you try to seem nonchalant, he could tell how upset you are.

Spencer would spend more time than he wanted to admit fantasizing about treating you well, about giving you the love you never seemed to have.

Every time you made a snarky comment about love, or how men had treated you in the past Spencer would want so desperately bad to just tell you about how well he would treat you, how he would never ever hurt you, how he would spend his entire life taking care of you.

The words were practically scratching up his throat, begging to be let out. But still, he would just swallow them down, and give you a sympathetic look, he couldn't muster up being able to do anything more.

At the very least, Spencer's plan of becoming friends with you was working.

The two of you would become very good friends.

Spencer would learn everything he could about you, he would want to know as much as possible.

Not in a weird creepy way- but in a he just thinks you're so amazing he can't get enough of you sort of way.

Every time you and Spencer hung out he wouldn't be able to ignore that nagging feeling, the thought of putting an arm around you and pulling you close, of holding your hand in his, or placing a delicate kiss on your cheek.

The thoughts would eat away at Spencer, and he would only fall more, and more in love with you.

Still, he would lose more hope every time you divulged information about your prior encounters with love. He couldn't blame you for feeling so cynical it, not after what you'd been through.

Spencer would think about his mom, about all the wives Rossi had been through, about Hotch and Hailey, about you- he would wonder why love had to be so painful for some people. He was sure he would never hurt somebody he loved.

One day you're over Spencer's apartment, watching a rom-com, and you make a snide remark, "Oh, real love isn't like that." You scoff and roll your eyes.

Spencer doesn't know what it is, but something in him makes him respond, "It could be." He says meekly

You look up at him, caught off guard at his disagreement, "Hm?" you hum

Spencer wasn't able to take it any more, he hated hearing your cynical nature. He would need you to know how you deserved the entire world.

"Love- It can be like the movies." He affirms his stance.

"Not in my experience."

"I would give you love like that." Spencer would tremble as he makes his confession, so unsure of what would happen next.

He would be terrified of your reaction, scared he was about to mess everything up, ruin any future the two of you had together, and even worse, lose your friendship.

"W-what do you mean, Spence."

"I mean, you always talk about how you've been hurt before, and it just-" He takes a deep breath in, contemplating what he's going to say next, "I love you, y/n," He looks down at his lap, then back up at you, "I would never hurt you."

Despite the obvious passion in Spencer's voice, you were still hesitant about it, but everything inside of you told you to give Spencer a chance.

Spencer would insist on taking things slow, you were his first real relationship and he wouldn't want to rush things, for both his and yours sake. He wouldn't pressure you to put a label on things, or even say you're "dating"- those would come on your own time.

Spencer was determined to make you believe in love again, and he would do everything in his power to make sure you knew without a doubt how he felt about you.

Spencer would often get to work before you to surprise you with coffee and a breakfast sandwich, or a donut on your desk in the mornings.

He would insist on having a date night at least once a week, even if the two of you were on a case, ordering room service or finding a local pizza restaurant way late at night was sufficient, as long as the two of you got to spend time together.

Spencer would be hesitant about PDA or really moving too quickly into being too affectionate, still, he would frequently hold your hand, squeezing it tight when he could tell you were stressed or upset- either by a case or by life in general, he just wanted to give you that extra reassurance that he was there for you.

Spencer would really put the work in, he'd exert more effort than you had ever seen from any past relationship into even the tiniest things.

Spencer wouldn't mind though, anything he could do to reassure you that he loves and cares about you, he would do it.

Every little act of love and gratitude would be worth it to him.

He would savor and cherish every hug, every shared glance, every peck on the forehead, on the cheek, on the lips.

It was all worth it to him, every second of it- all he wanted to do was make you smile, to make you fall in love again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid headcannons #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n

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rastronomicals · 5 months ago

Photo

6:40 PM EDT July 16, 2024:

Public Enemy - "She Watch Channel Zero!" From the album It Takes A Nation Of Millions (June 28, 1988)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

OK, there seems to be a dialectic contrary to expectation here between Flavor Flav and Chuck D. Chuck is mostly impugning the character and intelligence of a common female acquaintance, while Flavor is the one mourning the suppression of true culture television can represent.

Although maybe I give Flavor too much credit. He seems on closer look to be actually saying in part, 'turn off the soap opera, girl, so I can watch the sporting event featuring the black athlete.'

The obvious song to compare this one to, Black Flag's "TV Party," understands fully well there's no difference between Dallas and Monday Night Football.

Jello Biafra understood that, as well. In fact, Jello might have *preferred* the soap opera.

File under: All this and fuckin' Slayer too

#Public Enemy #It Takes A Nation Of Millions #She Watch Channel Zero!

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honeytonedhottie · 11 months ago

Text

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

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webslingingslasher · 9 months ago

Note

https://x.com/astralbaes/status/1771601120026079297?s=20

this is cherry when she unlocks makeouts and isn’t scared of peter anymore fnnfnfnd

peter wobbles when you wrap your arms around his neck, appearing from nowhere and hanging off him. he's in the middle of talking to a brother, but still holds an arm around your back to steady the both of you.

'right, right, uh huh. it's like- wait, did he fucking tell you about,' peter's brain lags slightly when a wet kiss is placed at the base of his neck. '- the car? not only did he dent the fucking bumper but then he tried to tell...' his voice cracks at the end, peter was unprepared for the light nibble you'd give him.

peter clears his throat and continues, he tightens his grip around your waist. he's telling you to calm down without words. '-tell ryan it was there when he took the car that morning.'

conversations over. you waste no time and bounce up on your toes to meet his mouth, peter's caught off guard but he shouldn't have been, kissing him has been your new favorite thing. especially because he gets so pliant when you're the one initiating.

'hey, c'mon, you had him all week. let me get ten minutes with parker.' peter thinks that's fair, you've been all over him recently and he’s had zero complaints. his brothers on the other hand... are starting to notice his absence from the group.

peter pushes at your hips, he's pushing you away, he's revoking his kisses. it won't do, you turn to glare at his brother, you keep peter tight against you.

'he's mine.' you hiss out the words and peter almost drops to the ground because he's never had a girl so possessive over him and having it be you was the hottest thing he's ever witnessed.

'there's enough of me to go arou-'

'no.' it's just as cold as your earlier statement, no one is going to take your favorite thing away from you. peter flashes his brother a weak smile and holds his finger up, then he brings his head down to whisper in your ear.

'give me a few minutes with my friend. i'll come find you in a second.' you tug at his shirt, 'no.' peter kisses your temple and gently brings his hand around his back to try and gently pry you off.

'c'mon, cherry. your friends are here, go say hi for a minute.' you latch down when peter tries to grab your wrist, you've got a vice grip. 'no! i wanna kiss you.'

peter's brother is watching him fall right into your hands, he channels some of that frat boy edge from last year and breaks your hold. it's like he just committed a cardinal sin. 'we're in public. no more kisses, go find your friends.'

you turn into a grumpy mess and cross your arms over your chest. 'you never wanna do things when i want! it's always you and what you want and your rules and your game and... and... you suck! find someone else to kiss tonight!'

you stomp off, then turn right back around and point at him. 'that's me being upset. if you kiss someone else tonight i will fucking kill you. but- go kiss someone else cause it won't be me!'

peter watches you leave his eyesight and closes his eyes when his friend snorts at him. 'well, you know what? i've never seen a girl so desperate to makeout with you.' he punches peter’s shoulder as he jokes around. 'i thought you were better than a 'put something in her drink' type of guy.'

peter rolls his eyes. 'yeah, yeah, yeah. like you wouldn't be first in the lineup if you woke up with tits.' his brother raises his hands up, 'i dunno, man. that 'he's mine' comment has me second guessing it.'

'fuck, i know. where the fuck did that come from?'

'no idea. it was kind of hot though.'

'okay.' peter's done with this part of the conversation and what his brother finds hot about you. peter moved right back in on the semi- car thief and was filled in on what he missed out on while he was mia. peter doesn't think he missed much, you were much more entertaining than an arm wrestling competition.

ten minutes later and his brother nods towards the party behind them. 'go find your girl, i'm gonna go try to find my own possessive princess.'

you're still upset when peter approaches, he aims for a kiss on the cheek, it's a bad move and you're swatting at him to back up. 'oh no, not happening, no sir. you told me no more kisses and i said it's always up to you when it's convenient and you let me walk away.'

peter frowns, 'did you want me to run after you?'

'yes! i wanted you to tell me that wasn't true and you respect what i want too.' peter cups your cheeks to force you to keep your eyes on his.

'i respect what you want. and i'm sorry, cherry, but i'm not going to run after you. part of a relationship is communication, when you walk away from me i assume you want space, not that you want to be followed. if you have an issue you need to hash it out with me, not expect me to fill in the blanks.'

'so you don't care?'

'i do care. i care a lot, cherry. but i also have other friends and obligations and i can't always drop them for you. but that doesn't mean you have to stomp off and expect to get your way.'

you look to the side, you're bad at this relationship stuff and you're glad you have peter here to guide you. it doesn't mean you always like it. 'but you're mine.'

you have no idea how that makes him feel. 'i am?' he's craving more of your possession, he wants to know just how much you need him. 'of course you are! you're mine and i'm yours and when i want a kiss i want you to kiss me, it's very simple.'

peter perks up, 'is it?' you huff up at him, your hands wrap around his wrists. 'yes.' peter would be very, very dumb to disagree. but he also has some boundaries.

'alright, i hear you and i'm glad you're communicating with me. personally, i'm not a huge fan of pda, but you are. if you want a kiss, i'll give you a kiss. but no makeouts or groping, can we agree on that?'

you almost blind peter with your smile, you nod quick and fast. 'yes, yes, yes! look at me go, petey! communicating and compromising! i'm gonna freaking rock this girlfriend stuff.' you brush a hand over his shirt, smoothing out a small wrinkle.

'all thanks to my practice boyfriend.'

peter feels numb. 'practice boyfriend?' you grin, 'yeah. you're the pop quiz before the test, so, thank you.' peter drops his hold, you frown and reach for his hands but peter crosses them over his chest so you can't.

'i'm not doing this to pass you off to another guy, cherry.'

you raise an eyebrow, 'then who are you passing me off to?' peter's not the best at communication either because he still can't get the 'i'm in love with you' off his tongue.

'i don't know. what was all of that about i'm yours and you're mine?' you 'ooh' at him and do a little spin, peter feels his heart thump three times as hard.

'not ready to give me up yet, parker?'

you don't have to ask for a kiss, peter's already doing it for you. you're breathless when he pulls away.

'never.'

#the virgin files #frat!peterxvirgin!reader #cherry being oblivious to how down bad peter is kills me #i'm still not used to frat!peter being so nice and open 😭😭😭

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yanderestarangel · 1 year ago

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Do you write pregnant sex?👀 If so, gentle Dom Grandmaster Bi-han x self conscious pregnant reader?

If not, do not feel pressured to write. Sending love💖, your blog is great!🙂

꒰ ♡ ꒱ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧 ꒰ ♡ ꒱

꒰ ♡ ꒱ TW: afab anatomy, lactation!kink, v!sex, soft sex, fingered, not revised, pregnant sex, mother/father used to refer to the reader, praise, soft dom!bi han, bi han!husband.

Bi Han was never a gentle man, your sex was always aggressive and practically animalistic, with Lin Kuei grandmaster growling and fucking you anywhere he could - however, upon discovering your pregnancy, he forced himself to be the more gentle.

He loved watching your belly grow slowly over a few weeks, knowing that it was his seed in there, you noticed his change, especially in bed... Your husband helped you relieve the pressure of pregnancy - in addition to generating a strong desire in helping to alleviate the milk heaviness of your breasts.

That night, he admired you in the dim orange light, watching you with your dress loose from your growing pregnancy.

"-I wouldn't want anyone to carry my child but you." Bi Han spoke cutting through the silence, standing up from the armchair while putting away the book she was reading-and reaching between your legs to caress and squeeze your growing belly.

"-Besides, you look even more beautiful with that belly, you know?" He continued with a playful growl, it was the few times in years or months that you saw him smile sincerely, he was anxious... But mainly, with such strong desires for you like that, round, pretty and so... Delicate.

Your partner noticed the milk leaking from the cleavage of your thin fabric, hurting them while you complained about the weight and pressure applied to your body by the natural process, so, he soon had an idea that could satisfy your needs and his as well.

"-Just lie down and I'll take care of it for you."

His voice was steady despite the growing lust emanating from him. Bi han reached out, gently grabbing one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, applying pressure to help release more milk. As he did so, he couldn't resist moving closer, his lips brushing your shoulder blade before moving down towards your neck.

"-You smell so good my bunny... And that little one inside you is already very strong... I promise to be the best father I can be." He whispered, practically moaning, his hands moved down, caressing your belly, feeling its softness and warmth.

"-I can't wait to see that belly grow even bigger and bigger, you just make me proud (Y/N), I'm the happiest fucking man in the world to have you." Bi Han spoke with his eyes focused on yours, his cold fingers traced a pattern on your nipples, until he completely removed your dress, his eyes widened in admiration when he saw your naked form, admiring how incredible you looked pregnant with his child.

"-You... will be the most beautiful father/mother anyone has ever seen" He then moved his mouth to your skin, sucking and teasing your breasts vigorously, he moved on to the other breast while his hand continued its obscene exploration of your regions bottom, finding the sweet channel of your swollen pussy, massaging the aching folds. With each thrust of his tongue against your sensitive bud, he slowly pushed two fingers inside your tight cunt, slowly stretching it. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever experienced; more intimate, but equally forbidden and beautiful.

"-You taste... so delicious..." Sub zero moaned, sucking harder on your nipple, extracting all the possible milk he could - it hurt slightly, but the sensation was extremely comforting compared to the pain you felt all day. His hands held your waist tightly as he looked into your eyes, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"-You are the most beautiful little thing I have ever seen, no lin kuei treasure, silver, gold or diamond compares to you my sweet little thing." Bi han whispered in your ear, lightly pinching your earlobe, he leaned forward, kissing you passionately, your tongue tangling with his, while his free hand went down between your legs, massaging your clit harder.

"-Let me know if I'm hurting you or if you want more." The combination of pleasure and intimacy was driving him crazy. His shaft contracted violently in his pants, stretching the fabric, with every angelic and chaste sound that came from your lips because of him, he knew how to relieve you-and most of all excite you.

"-Fuck, you really look like an angel now..." He murmured, unable to resist any longer; Standing right above you, he grabbed your hips and lifted you up until both your legs wrapped around his waist comfortably, he rested both muscular arms under you, as he lightly and slowly thrust his cock into your wetness, he was never so gentle with you... But the cyromancer had changed, with a slow and careful thrust, he closed his eyes, opening his mouth as he thrust himself inside your warm body, your walls swallowing every inch he had to offer.

You could look directly at every furl, every expression of his above you, how his length was only half inside you, how he didn't want to hurt you and just loved and adored you, every hot yet cold kiss placed on your face, every whisper of approval calling you "good boy/good girl" that he said between moans between cuts, was like a damn dream that you never wanted to end.

"-Ah- Fuck! So tight baby- Mmm-" Bi Han panted between each thrust, you could hear the wet sound and rhythm of his balls hitting your ass, how he was sighing beautifully as he controlled himself from slamming you into the mattress.

His hands gripped your ass tightly, lifting it a little before slamming back onto his dick, claiming ownership over you, he sped up but at a point where you felt pleasure, moaning his name loudly and cum - he loved you seeing it like that, pouring out compliments about how beautiful you were, how perfect you were, how you were his and his alone, his hips rocked back and forth rhythmically, creating a mesmerizing soundtrack for their intimate dance, however, even if he wanted it to last forever, he really needed to cum and especially to make you cum.

Sub zero grunted a few things, bending over again and sucking the sweet, thin milk from your breasts, pushing the head of his dick right into your G-spot, while you screamed that you were going to cum, he just sped up, being careful with your body and belly, encouraging you to let go of everything on him. He was there with you, teetering on the edge of release.

"-J-Just Tell me when... tell me when... Baby... Oh Yes- Fucking hell-" was all you could hear before milking his cock hard as you held on to one of his arms, your side in bed. Bi Han couldn't hold back any longer, the load erupted from him, filling his belly and breasts with hot seed.

His thrusts gradually slowed down, finally stopping inside you, he remained buried inside you, feeling every contraction of your pussy around his member. "-Ahh... That was... fucking incredible my love..." The grandmaster managed to say between panting breaths. With a groan of satisfaction, he pulled out of you slowly, his cock leaving trails of cum behind it. Wiping away some of the excess on your belly with the tips of his fingers, he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead and remained sitting on your side, breathing heavily, Absorbing the consequences of the lustful and loving encounter between the two of you, Bi Han's mouth was dripping with your milk, as he sighed heavily, brushing away some stray strands of your hair, as he returned to massaging your stomach and pussy, you could see the love and careful with his brown irises.

Bi Han looked at you, marveling at how beautiful you looked, even covered in sweat and cum - He reached out, running his thumb along your cheek, catching some of the remaining beads of sweat. "-We did something special together, didn't we?"

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ktlurksforsomereason · 1 month ago

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Obxanon is not reliable, they're just directing hate away from the Pates and onto Rudy+Elaine.

I'm gonna say this one time and then I gotta jump this ship. And before I get called a Rudy stan or wtfever, I'm trying to be as objective as possible. No one here is in the right. I just want people to think about the bigger picture.

Obxanon is not reliable, and the way they present the information is bias.

I'm not saying that there isn't truth to their story. I'm not saying that nothing happened behind the scenes. I don't believe the producers when they say they planned JJ's death from the beginning. I don't believe the fake PR that says there is no beef between Rudy and Madison. We know there is. We can see the tension between them in the show, and we can see it behind the scenes. There's proof that something is wrong. But we don't know WHAT and WHY.

What I am saying is that just because obxanon has some truth and some insight, it does not mean that everything they say is true. And the way they are presenting us this information paints everyone in a positive light except Rudy and Elaine. That's bias.

Obxanon excuses the Pate's decision to kill JJ, saying they were "rightfully upset." That was their decision, not Rudy's. That death and the horrible way it was written is on them.

Obxanon also says Elaine was jealous, but doesn't tell us WHY. They say there was conflict between Elaine and the Pates, Elaine and Lilah, Elaine and Madison, but they don't tell us WHY. That leaves it open to speculation, it leaves people to fill in the blanks. Obxanon offers us zero insight into how Elaine felt, why she was upset, why there was conflict. It just paints Elaine as the problem and forces us to guess WHY.

Obxanon says Rudy decided to leave the show and suggests it had something to do with Elaine, but they don't actually tell us WHY. Again, leaves it open to speculation.

Everything obxanon is saying is BIAS. They do nothing to explain Rudy and Elaine's reasons for anything. I'm not saying they're good people and they made healthy choices, but obxanon is trying to imply that they are BAD people and they made HORRIBLE choices. That is bias.

They are HUMANS. They make choices for a reason. If there was actually conflict between Elaine and Madison for YEARS behind the scenes, there are REASONS for this conflict. And we don't know these reasons. Obxanon isn't tell us. Rudy and Elaine aren't telling us. Madison and Mariah aren't telling us. WE DON'T KNOW.

I just need people to really think about the information we're getting from obxanon and why they might be painting it like this. I think it's PR. I think it is distracting us from how angry we feel about the show, and is channeling that anger onto Rudy and Elaine. Who have never, NEVER spoken about this conflict and have never tried to justify anything. They're private people. They're easy targets for a PR campaign like this.

There is something seriously wrong with obxanon and the way they are giving us information. Netflix and the Pates know this fandom. They know how hateful they can be. Will people watch S5 if they’re mad at the Pates for their garbage writing? No. But will people watch S5 if they’re mad at Rudy and he’s the problem and he’s gone? Maybe. Obxanon is just tapping into that anger and hate and fuelling it away from the show and onto Rudy.

You need to remember where we started. Fans love Jiara because they love JJ. So many people love this show because they love JJ. That's obviously clear, look at the uproar over his death. You know why they love JJ? Because Rudy created him and made us love him. Rudy did that. Rudy gave us that.

We would not care about JJ or Jiara if Rudy didn't do the work that he did. And here everyone is, hating on him. Hoping his career fails. Hoping he breaks up with his partner.

That's gross.

I understand why people are mad. Season 4 was a shitshow. Terrible writing, ridiculous plot holes, character assassination, a loss of chemistry between the fan favourite couple. Finished off with a completely traumatizing and unsatisfying death of the favourite character. The show is irreparably damaged.

THAT IS NOT RUDY'S FAULT.

I'm not saying he didn't play a part in it, but it is not JUST on him. And alllllll of that anger is being directed at him in the form of bullying and hatred.

He's a person. People make mistakes. But they also make choices for themselves, and clearly he felt he needed to make this choice. We can't begin to criticize that unless we know the reason and WE DON'T.

I will not watch season 5 and that is the Pate's fault for completely losing the plot. For not understanding why so many fans loved this show.

I also need to leave this fandom because people are so hateful and NO ONE is thinking critically about the situation.

Please try to look at the bigger picture. Please try to understand that these people are human beings. We don't know them. We don't know what happened on that set. We don't know why anyone made the choices we did. So chill out?

Be upset about the show but don't be upset with the actors. They did their job and it's done. Leave them alone.

#outer banks #obx #obx season 4 #rudy pankow #madison bailey #jj maybank #obxanon #jiara #pates #yall need to chill out on twitter #full on mental health spiral going on there

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bladefuck · 19 days ago

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INFO POST ONNN;

andrew blaze!; also known az pioneers productions, waz the perpetrator of the eaton township weis supermarket shooting, which she worked at at the time of her death. the shooting took place on june eighth, 2017 in eaton township pennsylvania.

the attack on weis supermarket was a murder-suicide az well az a workplace shooting. four people in total died including andrew. zero were injured physically.

the weaponz she used were two pistol-gripped 12 gauge mossberg 500 pump action shotgunz. at the time of ze shooting she had been working there for seven whole yearz.

andrewz life

andrew blaze waz born in september of 1992, in the american state of pennsylvania

az a child she waz described az being rather shy, not many friendz and not fitting in with her peerz.

ever since she waz young, andrew said she contemplated death, likely much more than the average child. because of all of these thingz, andrew frequently spent her time alone, thiz continued into her later life. thiz iz also when she began drawing and watching youtube, which would become a huge part of her life later on.

in highschool she developed a love 4 filming, and still loved watching youtuberz who were popular at the time.

thiz inspired her 2 start her own channel, so on june of 2008 she made her first youtube channel at the age of sixteen, which waz known az pioneers productions.

at the start she primarily did letsplay content w/ no face attached, but eventually she began including her face in content and branching out into more varietyz of content, primarily skitz. eventually she went viral with a fred parody, garnering over 10,000 viewz which waz a lot at the time.

thiz led to her gaining much more subscriberz and around thiz time iz when the name andrew blaze formed.

however, around the timez of 2008-2010, you can begin to see a decline in her mental health visible through her postz, even if nothing seemed off at the time.

two frequent characterz who showed up in these videoz were known az froggie and whale, two toyz that appeared often in skitz, though eventually she filmed a video that showed the death of these two characterz, with her stabbing them under the watch of ember.

the videoz began getting more violent, and involved death and shooting people much more frequently. though with the youtube landscape at the time, thiz cannot be used az definitive evidence that thiz iz solely because of her mental health.

she statez that she frequently thinkz about death, to the point it often consumez her thoughtz. along these linez, andrew also said she doesn’t understand how people could live past thirty, and seemed to gain the view that she wasnt supposed to be on thiz earth, and that she waz only able to go back to where she came from through death.

nobody commented on these viewz.

at age eighteen andrew began going to college, specifically to get a bachelorz degree in mazz communication. though she wanted to focuz on her youtube channel full time more. it waz around thiz time she began working on a project known az the ‘westborough high massacre’ which waz meant to be an animated film. thiz film waz in her wordz dedicated to the animated character ember mclain from the tv seriez danny phantom, a show about a boy with powerz fighting ghostz. though ember waz not a main character, she quickly became andrewz favorite, and eventual obsession that only rampz up throughout the yearz.

in the show ember waz a human girl who died and came back az a ghost.

around 2013 iz when her obsession with ember turned more intense, and much more negative.

around thiz time iz when she began saying online that she waz meant to be a ghost girl, not a human. she began making skitz of what she thinkz the afterlife iz, where she reincarnatez az a ghost girl and reunitez with ember.

she frequently struggled with her gender around thiz time, and also went through many traumatic eventz involving death.

the first of which was her grandfather in 2006, and she statez that hiz death iz the first time she saw a dead body and began contemplating what death meant.

her brotherz friend tom/tim (i couldnt find which one was the right name ack!) also passed away in a car accident, and though she wasnt too close with him it still hit her.

shortly after, her close friend matt passed in a car accident.

she stated ‘to(i)mz death sucked the life out of me, mattz death killed me.’

at twenty three yearz old andrew graduated college, and now didnt know what to do with her life. she wanted to do youtube but it wasnt going well.

the income she had waz from a grocery store she worked at, since her father waz the manager.

her mental health only continued to drop, and she continued rambling about wanting to be a ghost girl and how nobody around her carez.

around thiz age she began creating her suicide tapez.

on these tapez she statez she planz to die first may seventh of 2019

she callz these collectionz of tapez EGS, and spoke about everything in her life and the mental health spiralz she went through.

she revealed she went through gender identity issuez and because of thiz would frequently wear feminine clothing in the house when her family waz away.

it waz around thiz time she also began to gain a fascination with the perpetratorz of the columbine shooting, particularly eric harriz.

in these tapez she said she just wanted someone to notice her, and that throughout her life people have continuously failed at that.

around thiz time she created a character known az mckenzie, and that in her past life thiz waz her name and she waz dating ember from danny phantom

thiz obsession quickly became unhealthy, and eventually she depicted an entire world full of characterz similar to mckenzie and ember which would eventually be known az emberz ghost squad

she ran multiple different social media accountz depicting these characterz, and eventually used them to spread her online journal and tapez before the massacre

she began talking about her fascination with the columbine highschool massacre, a mazz shooting that took place in the year 1999 in the state of colorado perpetrated by two highschool boyz who promptly commited after the eventz.

she said she wanted to ‘make them proud’ one day.

the previouz mentioned ‘westborough high massacre’ animation began to fall through around the age of 23/24 (2017)

she hired va’z who were being slow, and hired an animator who eventually declined because of the nature of the film, which only further angered andrew.

in one of her videoz she said the day she uploadz her animated seriez iz the day she diez, and that she couldnt wait any longer.

around thiz time andrew went out and bought two shotgunz, and there are still videoz out there of her practicing shooting them. they would later be used in the massacre.

she never had a concrete answer az to why she waz planning what she waz doing, just that 2017 waz the time for her to go back to her real home, which she claimed held other ghostz.

andrew believed she waz from a different dimension, and hated waking up everyday in thiz world knowing her purpose waz somewhere else.

at thiz time, she decided she couldnt wait longer and moved her death date to june seventh, 2017.

she wanted to take otherz with her, and it would either be her family or her coworkerz.

she frequently said she would kill people publically, but nobody said anything or tried stopping her.

andrew often left thingz out in the open, but nobody ever questioned it.

she often posted to the twitter accountz she ran with hintz that she waz going to kill people soon, but once again, thiz waz never brought up and no effortz were made to stop her.

az june seventh approached, she posted a video discussing who waz going to die. through a coin flip, she determined she would shoot up her supermarket.

thiz iz when she went onto make her final video, in her car discussing what could happen after her death, reflecting on her life and motivez, and how surreal it all felt to her.

on june sixth 2017 she posted a video of her silently walking through the supermarket she worked at, zooming in on the exitz

on june seventh, 2017, her animated seriez ‘the westborough high massacre’ finally released, and it featured a prologue of her sharing her hate for the people who dropped the project. the general plot waz of her and another ghost squad character going on a massacre in a highschool setting.

thiz waz posted mere hourz before the massacre.

the massacre

on june seventh andrew waz working the overnight shift, making her final post to any of the egs twitter accountz saying goodbye, az well az sharing her journalz and media filez of all her tapez.

andrew waz working with four other employeez, and nobody else waz in the store.

because they were all on the night shift and tired, when they saw andrew walking around they didnt bother investigating. in actuality she waz blocking all the exitz of the store so nobody could escape.

she finished blocking the doorz a little after one am, and grabz her two shotgunz.

andrew first killed a female co-worker after shooting her multiple timez. at the same time another co-worker looked up and saw her, looking down at the body.

she looked up at her coworker, before for unknown reasonz sparing her and walking onto the next aisle.

andrew next killed a male coworker while the woman she spared called the police and tried hiding. she begun firing more and more at unknown locationz. at thiz time the coworker escaped the store and hid in a bush while on the phone with the police.

andrew finally killed another male coworker, and at thiz point begun open fire at anything in the store seemingly at random. she attempted firing at propabe tankz, but they wouldnt go off.

andrew walked to the deli section of the store, and thiz iz where the massacre ended az she took her own life.

shortly before her death, she tweeted out on her own twitter account ‘goodbye humanz, ill mizz you.’

at thiz point the police had arrived and begun examinationz of the crime scene.

police got a warrant to search her home, where they found plenty more supplies such az ammunition, and grabbed hold of thingz like journalz and her tapez, which iz where they finally gained motivez and backstoriez for andrew and why she did what she did.

it waz found that shortly before the massacre andrew emailed the voice actor of ember mcclain, saying thingz such as how when she readz thiz email andrew will be dead and she haz found her true purpose and will be back with her ghost squad.

it waz found andrew waz wearing female garmentz at the time of her death and found with an extremely high amount of benadryl in her system, which could cause thingz like hallucinationz and agitation.

only one person survived the massacre, the girl andrew let flee.

— tagz for reach! @antimony-121 @columtard @rh1nest0neluvvsu @jafarfeet2 @gothiclanza @dorksarelazy @grungecal @babypinkdecember @vodka-cal @expocorpse @youhaveacatinyourlap @v0dkasrighthand

#tccblr #tc community #tcc fandom #tcc tumblr #tcctwt #tcc columbine #dylan columbine #eric columbine #andrew blaze #embers ghost squad #true cringe community

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