#Sharing would be appreciated so I get the most input possible

[flamingteddyproductions]

Am I over thinking tilesets?

I've been working on a new set of tiles over the last year, with a lot of work placed mostly in hospital and home themed sets, and a school set next. There's more I'm going to make, but they still don't feel finished yet. I don't know if I'm overthinking it, or if they would still be needed, so here's a pole to maybe help me get a gauge on whether they are done or not.

The home and hospital sets have door sprites, A2, A4, A5, and B-D. Currently working on the sprites as well, which are also going to have a lot of sheets since I'm trying to account for skin tones and different hairs. Hairs being particularly hard since I'm working at 16x32 scale, and the sprites are slightly shorter than that, so I'll have room for larger hair and hats.

Maybe it's just because I'm particularly picky and love having options myself that I want to put so much in them, but they're also sets I want to sell (save for the home set, as that's gonna be a free base set). I worry about recolors being seen as lazy, about there not being enough items, etc. I want them to be worth the price I want to set for them (like 5 bucks per set). Already have plans for some outside tiles that'll be part of the base set, soon as I figure out how to make plants to my satisfaction.

Also, please ignore the weirdly spaced table and chairs, that's for an event I'm still trying to figure out the looks of in MZ. . x . ;

[wings-of-ink]

Looking for your Input for IF Patreon

Hello my friends and neighbors! I hope you are all safe and well. I had some things to share with you and I am once again fishing for thoughts and opinions.

Like many of us who create these IFs, I am strongly considering a Patreon. I have no plans to go exclusively to Patreon, so don't fret. I want to make extra content to go along with any IF I work on, and I'd like to be able to put more things into these projects such as real art (including character portraits), and not just the stuff I flounder through on Canva. I'd like to pay my artist a fair wage and devote more of my time to this. Getting some support would help me allocate even more to these projects and extras. I'm testing the waters here to see if it's sustainable for both myself and subscribers as well. I do not know what timeframe I'm looking at to start this either.

I only want to do this if it's worth the while for everybody, so I'm putting out feelers and asking for your input.

Most of all - I want to know what you want in a Patreon sub. I also want to know what you feel to be a fair sub price for different tiers. Over the years, when I have been able, I have subbed to help support my favorite creators at all different levels. So, I have some ideas on what I am looking for in a subscription, what keeps me coming back, and what prices are both fair for the effort of the creator as well as for my pocket. But, what suits me may not be what you want, so that's why I need some feedback.

Below, I have compiled my ideas, so far, for possible tiers. None of these are set in stone, just a framework to build on to see if I'm on the right track. At the bottom is a poll (of course, it's like my favorite thing), and is probably the first of a few about this topic I will use. I welcome comments and suggestions on this topic. Tell me what you are looking for in a Patreon. What do you want from one each month? What keeps you subscribed? Please feel free to comment below or to send comments and suggestions via the Ask inbox, especially if you prefer to be anon (do let me know if you do not want your response posted - I may post some that either have questions or that I find relevant to the conversation).

I still do not know for certain what the ultimate future of God-Cursed will look like (meaning when it is all finished). I've played with the idea of eventually refining it to sell on itch and/or Steam. I have to admit that being able to do so would really feel like a huge accomplishment to me. I've always had dreams of being published and such, and it feels like a part of that dream. I, personally, prefer to buy IFs through either platform whenever I can. It supports my favorite authors, shows my appreciation, it compiles my favorite stories into an easy-to-find library, and I can relive my favorite stories over and over easily. So, needless to say, this is calling to me more and more.

Anyway, what I have come up with so far for possible offerings are these. Please let me know if something like this would work for you or if you have any suggestions for improvement:

An appreciation/tip jar - if the other tiers aren't for you or you just want to give a little love. Subscribers could get updates and public posts, and participation in polls.

A "Supporter" level - all the other stuff plus GC demo releases 1 month (30 days) in advance. I debated about the time, but I want to really make the early access feel worth it. This level would also be privy to some "insider" info (things cut, character development, the egregious typos, etc…). Of course there would be some sort of dev-log to go with this as well.

A "Plus" tier - all the above plus early release of demos for other IFs, more "behind the scenes" type things, and I'm thinking some POVs and other extra content (some interactive) such as short stories. These extras need not be exclusive to IFs either if anyone is interested in other things I write.

"SMUT" or "Spicy" tier - (being very honest, I'd be the most excited for this tier, lol) all the above including all things smut for each IF. This will include interactive extras, short stories, and any other horny content we want. Likely will run some polls and take suggestions for the spice you desire each month.

"Smut plus" (lol) - all the above, PLUS a patreon-only IF that I will have in the works (so, access to 3 projects in total). I have an idea for an IF that will focus on 1 RO at a time (each with their own complete and unique story within the same world), and I am itching to write it even if updates for it will be a bit slow. It will be more like a traditional dating sim type thing and may comprise all sorts of genres. This may be one that would be good for just subscribing on months that will have updates, and that's something I would probably post about publicly so if you're just interested in getting access, you don't have to worry about staying subbed.

And finally a sort of "Power Supporter" tier - this may be like a limited number sort of thing and be a bit pricey (not sure yet how much). You'd get a custom interactive story set in whatever world of mine you want that can be spicey or not. You'd give me all your MC's details (mostly cannon things but some liberties could be taken), physical traits and personality, and pick your RO and/or other desired characters. I'd take prompts or ideas from you as well concerning what you'd like in the story. You want a sexcapade - you can have that. You want to have tea with Oswin and his weird twin sisters - you got it. The main limitations are spoilers, of course, especially for any mystery ROs depending on when and if this all comes to pass. There may be some subject-matter that I will not write about, but I'd let you know what is out of bounds for me.

Naturally, I would also pop your name in the credits, I just don't know which tier that should go on.

So, there you have it. This has been on my mind for a while and I've gotten some questions and messages asking about if I will do something like this, so I'd like to give it a go at least.

Looking forward to hearing your ideas and desires! ^_^

~Lunan

[damagedcoda6669]

okay so i am. so confused! are you a system/plural after all?

you made a post on your twitter about being the "original host" which is. a plural term of course but ALSO i'd like to say that the idea of there being an "original" is veeery misleading and not actually possible in DID/OSDD

the reason DID/OSDD exists at all is because a child's identity was unable to fully form in their developmental years, so the identity splits off and fractures into several parts necessary to keep the child safe. because of this, there can be no "original host" because there was never an identity formed that could be considered the "core," in a way, at all. it gives off the idea that there was one set identity that split off others later on in life, which isnt how DID/OSDD works in terms of alter formation

also, the disorder can only be developed in your early formative years, so its mostly unheard of for a system to go through life with a single part only to split off later on. your brain splits off alters in response to stressors or traumatic experiences, and so when the disorder is formed there would have to have been a fracture from the beginning where your identity wasnt able to come together to form a single one. multiple alters can be "original," in a sense, but there is not one sole original

i suppose that other alters could have simply been integrated and so they arent a part of your system anymore (leaving you as the "original host"), but thats probably not my place to explore and its all a bit too complicated for a tumblr ask

there are parts that have been around longer than all the other parts and there are parts that identify with/as the body or the head of the system, buuuut i just wanted to share that tidbit of information because misinformation can be very harmful when it comes to healthy plurality!!

in any case, dont let this cause you to spiral into more self-doubt because — surprise! DID/OSDD is supposed to be hard to understand or identify within yourself. its a trauma disorder formed to make you as functional as possible, so generally the disorder tries very hard to hide your other parts from you as to protect you from those traumas. being confused is a major part of plurality, and most long-term hosts do have the misconception of being "original" because there was no reason to think otherwise.

its also fully possible that you have been the host for the majority (or entirety) of your life, so dont get me wrong! im just trying to share that the idea of an "original" alter isnt possible.

regardless of whether or not you're plural, i wish you the best in exploring yourself and the way that your brain functions. you're doing great, truly!

and if i misinterpreted anything, im deeply sorry for that too. i'm just a stranger on the internet trying to provide input using the information i was given, and i genuinely dont mean any offense by this ask. DID/OSDD is also something i'm very interested in and passionate about as an autistic individual, so... im very sorry for the essay

THIS IS SO HELPFUL U HAVE NO IDEA. I KNOW NEXT 2 NOTHING ABT PLURALITY AND SYSTEMS. dont apologize 4 the rambling, its much appreciated!!! i get the same way abt bpd and autism so i get it!!! psychology and mental disorders r one of my special interests so im the same way!!! ^_^

i guess my post moreso came from the concern that i only have vry vry spotty, fuzzy, sometimes FAKE memories of my childhood, if any at all (id say i remember less than 1% of it, and most of what i "remember" is only becuz of photo evidence or testimony from other ppl) and my identity only rlly formed when i joined the internet at maybe 12 yrs old. so i sometimes have doubts that i formed when the body was born, but rather that i was created and that im a product of the internet inparticular, but that might also be a delusion??? its confusing, whenever i get ideas abt my identity they turn out 2 be fake sometimes. its hard 2 pinpoint what i am. so i was trying 2 say that i dont think ive been here since the birth of the body and that i spawned later on. idk if im explaining myself correctly, its hard 4 me 2 understand. but i appreciate u correcting me and explaining it 2 me in a way thats easy 4 me 2 digest!!! i dont want 2 spread misinfo evr.

i think im plural??? ive had liek 8 headmates (and a headspace at one point) that ive been able 2 identify, but nobodys rlly taken me srsly abt it until vry vry recently. ive always been told that im making it up 4 attention, or that im faking DID, and i was even told by a dumbass doctor that it was just my autism and that they were all imaginary. i nvr rlly claimed 2 be plural either, i always just got shot down whenevr i introduced the possibility of there being other sentient ppl in my brain. but i think that i am, probably. im not sticking 2 any labels atm becuz im confused and uneducated abt my headmates and im not diagnosed w anything, but i feel comfy with plural as a label becuz its a vague umbrella term. i nevr claimed 2 have DID becuz ive always known that my headmates cant front and take over my body (ive even asked one and she told me she couldnt LOL) ALTHOUGH. they MIGHT be able 2 front simultaneously as me, ive had edgy (whos currently dormant) finish art 4 me if i got tired, back in 2020 when he was still active. and i know alters fronting is a diagnostic requirement for DID (i think???) but i dunno. theres SOMETHING up w my brain.

i tried 2 post abt it on twitter actually, that i thought i was plural (a handful of ppl asked me so i wanted 2 confirm) but i deleted the post like an hour later becuz i wasnt getting any comments or likes and i was scared that i did something wrong and didnt know, or that im not actually plural and other plural ppl were mad at me 4 using their label. it made me so anxious >n<

i am such a yapper.. 4give me

[theflyindutchwoman]

No sense in arguing about it. But we're so good at arguing. I know. But I'm hoping that we're good at certain other things, as well. Oh? Want to find out right now? Yeah.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.12 - Death Notice

Sometimes I wonder whether this scene is real or not… I just love it so much. It's serious, it's tender, it's playful… it's sizzling. It has some of the same intimate vibes as their very first kiss, with all the dim lights and candles everywhere, while still having its own flavor. Its own identity. Like the fact that they're in the kitchen this time, with Lucy preparing dinner for them. And the domestic feels in this… Cooking is one of her love languages, her way of showing how much she cares. There was already a hint of that when she sent food to Tim during his recovery after the events at the quarantine house. And we saw her cooking for Tamara, for Angela… or for her parents to celebrate her graduation (and I'm still salty about that one). This is something that she clearly has in common with Tim, judging by the way he looks so happy while making pancakes for her or how they apparently enjoy watching cooking shows together. It's their thing and it's so nice that they finally have someone with whom they can share this… Someone who can fully appreciate it.

All this romantic ambiance doesn't prevent Lucy from still talking about the job though, and more specifically her hypothetical transfer. She wants to get that out of the way before taking that next step and she's right. She is prodding a bit, asking Tim for his input since he has yet to explicitly endorse her plan. And she has to sense that he has been deflecting a bit, delaying the decision. For good reason, of course. The way he looks so at peace with his choice when he admits that he has already asked for his transfer so she wouldn't have to leave versus how upset and distressed she is by this… The softness in his voice when he says 'that doesn't matter' when she worries about him not liking his new job… There's this thing Eric does with his voice here that is amazing. I don't know if he was sick when they filmed that scene, his voice sounds slightly different somehow, huskier… And it fits the mood so well.

But that aside, it's not like her worries are entirely baseless either. Lucy understands exactly the sacrifice he's making because she knows how much he loves patrol and the action. And this is the kind of decision that could eventually lead to resentment. At the same time, this is Tim : he knows what he is doing. It's not the first time he had to consider doing a similar thing. Only, now, he has found someone who is worth the effort. Who is worth more than his job. So it's a trade off he is willing to make without hesitation. He raises another good point : a transfer for her would most likely mean that she would have to prove herself again. It might not be a demotion per se, but she would have to pay her dues again. Besides, he has to know that this is merely temporary : he just needs to wait for a better position to open up. Whereas changing stations would be a more permanent option and would prevent them from working or spending time together at work. There's such a romantic quality in the fact that he wants to spend as much time as possible with her, even if it's just for a few minutes here and there… Honestly, the way these two always light up when they see the other at the station is so incredibly soft.

'No sense in arguing about it' - 'But we're so good at arguing' This exchange is simply perfect… It's inherently them. What started as real arguments slowly evolved into this form of flirting for them. It lost its edge and blossomed into this playfulness and teasing they have mastered a long time ago… It was their way of showing how much they cared. So it's nice to see them acknowledge it and recognise that they enjoy doing it. Even more so considering how much Lucy used to avoid arguing with Chris, because deep down, it wasn't worth it. This really underlines the difference. And her tone, her smile when she admits enjoying arguing with him… That kiss… Tim standing up… Her hand lingering… And his flirting… He's come so far from 'naked times', he's getting smoother. The little tilt of her head, teasing him… And his grin! With all the laughing lines so visible… Their little swaying… His little 'yeah', barely audible, just for them… Her big smile… How she doesn't waste any more time and takes off his shirt, one with snap buttons because he came prepared… The man understood the assignment! The way she slightly leans away from him so she can check him out (shamelessly) while he's trying to lean forward, not wanting to stop that kiss or to be so far from her… Their forehead touching… The way he gets rid of his shirt… Her freaking smile… Their hands! The way he cradles her head… Her hands roaming all over his body… Her little giggles… His hand behind her head when they hit the wall, to ensure she doesn't hurt herself… The detail of her hair against the closed door… Speaking of. 'I opened the door for you'… The imagery of opened doors since their feelings have been out, has been so strong… Well, this time, Tim gets to close it. It's really just a detail, but so symbolic.

This is the beginning of a new era for them… And what makes me so happy is how Lucy and Tim are staying true to themselves. It's really about adding another element to their relationship, not changing it.

[anna-hawk]

Title: Us, Character: Shane pls I am in desperate need of more Shane content

Send me a character or ship + a title

“You gonna come with me?”

It had been one week since Shane had asked you that question. One week since you'd said yes. And yet, the two of you were still here, at the farm.

With every additional day going by, Shane felt more and more antsy. He and Rick had come to a sort of truce, but both men knew that the rift between them had grown too large to be mended. Shane couldn't help the pang of sadness at losing his best friend after decades of them going through thick and thin. Times had changed… Everything had changed. Them included.

While Shane was cleaning his rifle on the porch steps, he watched you talking animatedly with Maggie, Dale sitting on his beloved RV and adding a comment here and there as he was wont to do. Shane couldn't hear what you were saying, but he still smiled as you burst out into laughter at something Maggie said. The smile fell from his face a second later, replaced by a contemplative frown, his eyes lowering to the weapon instead. Contrary to him, you got along with almost everyone. You'd clashed with Dale a time or two, and the way you rolled your eyes at some of the older man's comments had Shane snorting in amusement each time. The person you got along with the least, though, was Lori. It wasn't so much that you fought a lot, although you'd had a few heated arguments in the months since you'd joined the group, but more that you and Rick got along really well. She obviously didn't appreciate the fact that he kept looking for your input on things, no matter if he didn't like what he heard. Lori's jealous side would have made Shane laugh if he hadn't been feeling the same way. Because while Lori was the person you liked the least, Shane was the one you spent the most time around. You might agree with some of the things that Rick said, but you still shared Shane's opinions. You had from the day you'd joined the group back in the woods.

The thing was that while the attraction was clearly mutual from the get go, neither of you had tried moving things along. Shane didn't really know why, but the timing just seemed off every time. Which was ridiculous, to be honest, considering what the world had become. It wasn't like he could ask you on a date. Your lives were hanging on by a thread if you weren't careful even for a second, so he should have just gone for it the couple of times you had come close to kissing.

It had been with this in mind that he'd decided to pull you aside after announcing to everyone that he would be leaving the group soon. He had expected you to think about it for a while before giving your answer, but you'd surprised him by agreeing on the spot. Just like that. As if it should have been obvious to him.

As he reloaded the rifle, Shane sighed to himself as he thought about how well you fit into the group. He looked up again to see you flip Dale off behind his back, which had Shane smiling. It felt bittersweet. Because he realized that he couldn't offer you anything by asking you to leave with him. Granted, nothing was certain anymore, but at least here you had some sort of stability. People to count on. The possibility to survive. Going with him into the unknown suddenly felt like too much to ask of you.

Putting the rifle next to him, Shane lifted his hand in a small wave as you turned around to see him watching you and waved at him with an impish grin and a roll of your eyes in Dale's direction. Shane chuckled despite the leaden feeling in his gut at the decision he'd just taken as you followed Maggie to the other side of the field.

He spent the rest of the day preparing his departure. He chose to leave without telling anyone, since he'd already said that he'd leave. The only one he went to was Rick. If only to ask him to say goodbye to Carl for him. The boy would be his only regret. Shane purposely didn't think about you as he thought about regrets.

Car loaded and ready to go, Shane waited until close to sunrise before leaving. As he neared the car, he came up short at the sight of the figure leaning against the driver's side, their arms crossed loosely.

“So you were really just going to leave without me.”

It was a statement, not a question. Shane opened the back door and slung the backpack into the car before closing it again.

“Listen-”

“Don't you dare,” you cut across angrily. “Don't you dare serve me the bullshit you came up with that made you think that you had to leave on your own.”

“I have nothing to offer you,” Shane yelled in frustration and definitely a note of despair. “They do.” He pointed at the farm.

“Then why ask me? Why ask me to come with you if you were just gonna leave without me in the end?”

“'Cause I was a fuckin' idiot, and I thought…”

“What?” you asked as Shane didn't continue.

Shane rubbed over his shaved head and heaved a long sigh.

“I thought I could be enough,” he paused for a second. “Here? You have a chance, sweetheart. You're safe. You fit in with them… I don't. Not anymore. But I can't ask you to leave all of this behind for me.”

You didn't say anything for the longest time as you just watched him. You finally pushed off the car and came to stand just a few inches away from him.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I only stayed with the group because of you? Yeah, maybe I fit in, as you said, but…” You looked away for a brief moment before looking at Shane again. “I trust that Rick will do his best to keep them safe. But if we leave together, I know that we will keep each other safe. Us safe.”

Shane's breath got stuck in his throat for a moment at your words. How could that tiny word change everything?

“Us,” he croaked, and saw you smile as the first rays of sunlight hit your face from the side.

“Us,” you breathed, lifting your hands to cup his face and finally pull him in for a long kiss.

[antimony-medusa]

Hi! To preface: I don't think there's any one right or wrong answer to my question necessarily, but I value your opinion as a level-headed adult in this fandom who can probably provide sensible input on the issue I'm having, so I thought I'd ask.

If a CC asks for their character not to be drawn (specifically referring to fanart, which they likely saw on Twitter) in a sexualised way, what does that mean for written fanwork content? Is it "wrong" (putting this in quotation marks since that's a loaded word, to say the least) to write nsfw content about said character and post it on Ao3, considering the differences in visibility/CC knowledge of those platforms, as well as the general consensus/expectation that CCs don't generally read fanfic anyway? Where is the line between "you should respect the CC's wishes" (avoiding the word "boundaries" since that's also very loaded in mcyt spaces) and "you can do whatever you want forever; fanworks are created by and for fans, not for the creators" drawn? Does "just don't put it where they can see unless they go looking" (i.e. correctly tagged on Ao3, not on a CC-frequented site like Twitter) apply? Would it be better not to do it at all, or only create and share said content in private spaces like Discord? Or is this all a "there is no single 'morally correct' answer, make your own personal judgement" thing?

(Sorry for the long-winded question but this is genuinely something I'm struggling with right now, lol. As I said I value and respect your opinion and views about these kinds of things in fandom, so if you have anything to say on the matter I'd appreciate your input!)

Alright so, obligatory warning for discourse on this one right at the top, and possibly also long post. These tend to be me rambling.

This is a situation that I think it's fair that a lot of people disagree. Your personal comfort level with making NSFW content in general is not where my comfort level is, we can come to totally different equilibriums. And then you add in creators expressing that they don't like seeing NSFW content of their characters, and people end up in a whole lot of different places, whether that's a complete no on shipping or NSFW, or people feeling fine to consume it but not create it, or only if it's archive locked, or only specific ships or smps, or whatever. I think it's fine that we don't all agree on this, creation is a fickle beast and we are in a weird place as a fandom of being not rpf but kinda cousins, and we can get *really* close to the creators with twitch and twitter, so people's comfort level in meshing all the parasociality and roleplay and real life of it all can end up in a lot of different places.

I just think that the most important thing for the fandom being a healthy place to spend time on the internet is that we don't go aroud sending hate/abuse to those we disagree with. a) i don't agree with internet mobs or suicide baiting or anon hate in general, b) the number of times I have seen internet games of telephone happen when it comes to this subject is unreal. To use an example from literally today, I saw someone saying that Pac of qsmp pacmike was uncomfortable with shipping art and fic and we all should stop shipping immediately, and once I tracked it back to its source, it turns out that what had happened was the creator said that he wasn't a fan that all the art was of him in the jumpsuit that used to be his skin, he has a new skin now, which turned into sexy jumpsuit art was the problem, which turned into pac hates all sexy fan art, which turned into "pac is being bombarded with nsfw art and shipping and he hates it". Now he might actually also not like NSFW art, but that's not actually what he was adressing, but it was certainly what was being circulated! So like, people warning me off of certain subjects— how do I know that they're actually accurate or if twitter just went twitter on a passing mention of something someone said on a twitch stream?

So I think it's way way way healthier for us as a fandom to sometimes disagree on the subject of "what we're drawing/writing about" and when that happens we implement Don't Like; Don't Read, and we just ignore that, or block if necessary. Don't Want To See it? Simply Don't See It. It's a bad idea to start hate campaigns for sinners, and half the time it's based on bad information anyways.

But in cases that you do know that the creator doesn't want to see that, you found an accurate clip? So this is a case where I think that there's no single moral answer to this that everyone is gonna agree on. We're all coming at it from too many different cultural backgrounds and different streamers in mind and comfort levels with NSFW in general. I don't think there is a firm answer that is gonna make you morally safe. But my personal feelings is that in cases where we know the creators doesn't want to see that, I think the important part there is that the creator never sees that, not that we stamp it off the internet entirely.

I do think, personally, ymmv, that you are not necessarily doing anything morally wrong with drawing or writing NSFW of someone's character, even if they think it's weird. There's a long history of creators saying "you can't do [this] with my characters," and it happens to be you can't [make them gay] enough to make me uncomfortable in general principle with saying creator of the character gets to call the shots in all settings forever. This happened with Anne Rice and with the supernatural fandom and like— it's the internet, we get to make the characters be gay together. This is the making sex jokes about fictional characters website, and Ao3 is the making porn about fictional characters website. I think it's fine if it exists on the internet, the question comes down to one of what we're forcing the creator to see, or what we're putting where they'll stumble upon it. Like, examples from real life— if you have a friend who's vegan, it's polite to not spend time rhapsodizing about how good meat is around them, and if you know that meat makes them sick, it's polite to do a meatless meal around them. That's a human person you want to be okay around you. But that's their boundary for their life, not yours, so even when you're being polite you have no obligation to go vegan when they're not around. And they have a politeness obligation to not walk into a steakhouse and freak out because there's meat there. They have a boundary for their life, and I'm going to respect it, but my life is a different story, and they need to take reasonable steps to protect their boundaries and not just expect everyone else to conform to them.

Or walking by someone on the street and waiting till they're out of earshot and then going "jesus christ that guy was hot" to your friends— that's fine. That's normal human behaviour. What becomes rude is when you make it hot guy's problem and yell at him. Being attracted to someone in your own space is not a problem. I'm aroace, I am not going to be in a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to ban having crushes on me, as long as you don't make it my business. Talking about an attractive person in your own space is not a problem. Being sexual in your own space— and again we are talking about fictional characters, the way I see it, these are lies we're telling about folks that are not real, who live in little minecraft worlds— that's fine. The problem is if we start catcalling people about it.

When you walk into fandom spaces you are walking into a space where we all like taking fictional guys and telling stories about them and a good portion of those stories are going to include kissing. That is not necessarily baseline normal for like, all of humanity, but people talk about tv shows they watch as one of the classic work small talk techniques. Fandom takes the "I hope ted gets together with jessica" "no he needs to work on himself first" discussion and writes stories, is all, to share with each other. Privately. On our special private website where there's a button you can click to hide your work from search engines and another one to hide it from logged-out users. If you log into the website and search things up, no tags blocked, what you find is on you for saying "I will see literally anything that exists on this subject in a space meant for literally anything". You will find gore. You will find kissing. You literally just opted in to seeing it. That's on you.

So like, there's my little defense of nsfw work existing in general, I think it existing is not a problem. I do think that we should keep it FAR AWAY from streamers. They get to set the rules for their spaces, and if someone doesn't want to see sexualized fan art, I do think we should make sure that in a reasonable way, they never have to see sexualized fan art/fic.

So like me personally, I'm going to hit that Ao3 button to hide my work from search engines, and anything NSFW (or shippy, depending on the person) is not going to go into the main tags on tumblr or twitter or anywhere I'm aware that the creators ever check that tag, and I'd probably archive lock it if the creator had publically mentioned being uncomfortable with it, and if I was regularly posting NSFW I'd block the creators on social media with any account I discuss NSFW with. I want to make sure that I am talking to my friends about the cubitos, not catcalling someone.

And I would probably err on the side of caution when it comes to social media sites that creators are on? Okay so the fandom has a habit of saying that NSFW and Shipping is BAD and can't exist, on the one hand, but on the other hand it says that anything that isn't Bad Wrong Shipping/Explicit NSFW is fine, which leads to like— extremely sexy thirst trap art being drawn and then the creators are tagged. People putting family dynamic fics that really pushes that envelope in the main tag. Gahhhhhh????? No? Don't do that?

I think it would be healthier in the fandom if we did a lot more going "this is for the fandom, not the creator" and we don't tag creators on twitter, and we took our little kissing fics, or gore, or kidfic, or neurodiverse headcanons, or anything else it might be not for the creator to see, and we kept it in fandom spaces and away from creators. But Ao3 is that fandom space that you have to opt into, it's literally archive of our Own, for fans, in that space as long as you tag it you're good.

So the TL;DR of this all is that my opinion is that if you tag it correctly on Ao3 you're fine. Maybe archive lock it. Keep it off twitter. Don't make it the streamer's problem, and you're good.

[roo-bastmoon]

After having a long think...

Even though I keep saying I'm going to go rest and stop obsessing about this, I guess I can't. I just suck at sitting still and being chill. My thoughts are under the cut out of respect for folks in the tags who don't want to engage in any drama around Seven.

Here is a list of all the push for Seven that has been noticed in the first two days (the thread is currently 30-posts deep but please do take a look):

Note: I haven't vetted any of those comments. I just scrolled through them and felt so overwhelmed. It just doesn't look good, but I bow to any industry experts who have real data and experience.

Update: Artie has a good post here about Jimin's debut numbers and playlists. Also here about how Seven being promoted to radio isn't necessarily proof that it was payola and they have the numbers from credible sources to back that possibility up:

I'm just going to come right out and say it: I find payola dishonorable. It's not just advertising; it's basically bribes. And ads should never replace real people's streams.

I deeply respected that BTS and ARMY found such success without that stuff. It used to be about passionate artists, making their own music, which resonated with real people, who worked hard to promote it. It was about mutual respect.

JK's numbers don't look completely organic to me, but I don't think he had a hand in that.

I have such serious misgivings if this the direction Hybe is going in for JJK1, and have no clue how the group survives if the company picks and chooses their favorites for that kind of push. If this is the strategy for all BTS projects now, I have no idea how they can afford it. I'd really appreciate if they could come to us and try to explain how it could ever be on the up-and-up because I don't think it can.

I confess I will not be working hard at all for anything that seems inorganic. This project just looks like Scooter weaponizing Jungkook to win a dick-measuring contest with Taylor and others. I hate it.

That said, I've always been very clear that Jimin is my guide.

Jimin adores Jungkook. Jimin is working with and hanging out with Jungkook even as I type this. Jimin is choosing for now to stay with Hybe. Jimin is flying all over the world on Hybe's time and dime to work on even more projects. Jimin has more music to share with us, that Hybe is investing in. Jimin seems happy for the most part.

I will support Jimin and never move against the people Jimin loves.

I trust Jimin and give the benefit of the doubt to the people Jimin trusts.

When planning his first album, I do not believe that Jimin was told about decisions to split tracks, or skip play-listings, or what would get restocked, or if they'd buy ads for smoother streams on YouTube and Spotify or not, or what kind of articles would be written about him.

I believe Jimin had plenty of input on the design, look, feel, sound, tracks, cast, choreo, performances--all the creative aspects of his album. I think he was able to say what he needed to say and get Letter hidden on his album for Jungkook. But I don't think he was roped into strategic plans and profit and loss statements and marketing roll-outs in any great detail. I arrive at this idea based on my own experience in the entertainment industry--I could be wrong.

And so I think the same for Jungkook. I think Jungkook had input on some of the creative aspects of this single (and likely had suspicions of what working under Hybe America and Scooter might entail). I have no idea the conversations and pressures he faced around this topic, or if he simply trusted Bang PD to handle it. I don't know what all he talked about with Jimin and the hyungs.

I do know there was a time this year when he came to us on lives deeply depressed and almost lost, despondent. I know there was a group dinner where many things were discussed. And then there were many times he came to us on lives, inspired by and enamored with Jimin, memorizing and hyping up his work with such pure adoration, even as their own company refused to even mention Jimin's successes.

So I ask myself: does Jeon Jungkook really have it in him to steal Jimin's ideas or push himself out ahead of his hyungs, embracing unequal treatment and unfair advantages, just so he can be the one to make it big in the West?

And in looking for that answer, I'm reminded of this clip:

No. I don't think that's who Jeon Jungkook is. At least, it isn't the Jeon Jungkook I knew.

I am sad to say I think that is exactly who Scooter Braun is and who Bang PD has become. That is what the company would do. But not our Jungkook. Not unless everyone in the group was on board with it, somehow.

Jimin is standing by Jungkook. So I am standing by Jungkook--as a person.

But I've bought Seven once and I've added it to my night playlist and that's all the moves I'm making on that project. I will not be setting alarms to vote or using extra accounts to buy or hash-tagging anything, nor getting any merch, nor requesting local spins, none of that. It's a catchy song but as the thread I linked to above shows, it is a guaranteed "success" even without me. So I'm using my energy to support Jimin and other BTS projects that resonate with me and need me.

My stance on this might offend you, and I respect your feelings. I do not identify as a solo or anti. I still think of myself as aJimin-biased Jikooker who loves the members. I am probably toeing the line of being a manti, as I feel this company has broken faith with me. Not the creative or administrative staff, but the executives. I feel like they've ended our ten-year legacy in shame.

If it gets much worse, I may just dip out of the fandom after Jimin goes into service. I don't know. Probably I will have to see how things work out for the other solo works and plans for the group for 2025. At the moment, I have far bigger things to worry about, like colitis.

I can't lie, what I've seen so far with this rollout really shocked me, gave me a bit of an identity crisis, as ARMY. I don't want to assume the worst; neither do I want to bury my head in the sand for the sake of my ship or my favorite songs.

I will always act in accordance with my own conscience, based on the limited information I have. If I get better information, I will of course update my viewpoints. If at any point that causes anyone who is friended with me distress, I will understand completely if we need to part ways. I never, EVER wish to cause anyone harm.

But I'm too sick to argue and debate too much, too long. Boraland was supposed to be a place to unwind and feel inspired, not get more stressed. These past few 1.5 years months as ARMY has been exhausting in every sense of the word. So I'm choosing to put my energy into the things that bring some joy in my life.

I'm choosing to trust and follow Jimin's lead, for now.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

Inspired by a conversation @thefreak0fhawkinshigh had about Eddie & Uncle Waune yesterday; I hope it was okay to expand on it and write this!!! If not, let me know & I'll delete it!💗

Also thank you to @sparks363 for helping me with some D&D terminology and helping me to figure out a D&D related reason for Eddie to climb a tree (it HAD to be campaign related for the plot!) so I don't ruin the immersion and whatnot within Eddie's narrative and rereading paragraphs over for me so my mistakes didn't become seen by the public eye😂💀 Thank youuuu ~ honey🥺🙏

ALSO also thank you to @niceboyeds for checking that this fic was Munson-y enough; I've been really worried recently that I've lost my touch so I truly appreciate your input!!🫂💗

Summary: Eddie climbs a tree and scares the shit out of Uncle Wayne when he falls due to a breaking branch. Angry shouting hides fearful tears and the Munson men spend the rest of the afternoon exchanging well-known truths. THIS IS NOT X READER - this is a Munson Family Moment.

TW; Uncle Wayne yells at Eddie because he's so far up the tree that if he speaks normally, Eddie won't hear him and THEN he yells angrily but he's just scared - there's no actual anger or anything!, Eddie is a bit of a shit and pushes his luck until he realises gravity isn't his friend, both Munsons cry, there's fluffyness and affection.

Word count: 1, 918.

At any time of day or night, many a sound could be heard coming from the Munson trailer; the nauseatingly loud 'music' that troubled Munson boy liked to blast ("educating the masses on good music", he had commented once), chord progressions first patiently learned and then hashed out in frustration before the music settled into softer practice, the sound of that mini-van racing around sharp corners (and cutting them if there weren't any), quiet hushed whispers, the banging of cupboards, but above all else; laughter.

Laughter was the most common sound to come out of the Munson home in Forest Hills Trailer Park; even the neighbours deadset against hating the Munson men would readily admit that.

The Munson men were many things, but happy together was most definitely one of them.

Shouting was never a sound which came from those cracked open windows, however. Wayne Munson was quiet, understated, he spoke only when spoken to or if he felt that the effort it took to speak was worthy of being spent on the people he was around. When he spoke, people listened. He raised his voice at his boy only when he absolutely had to, and every other time he spoke quietly, with a gruffness at total odds with his demeanour. He never shouted at Eddie.

Not unless he really, really had to.

Those times were extremely unusual, but they did occur.

And one day in the summer of 1985 (just before our beloved Eddie was due to start his third senior year), the Munsons had one of their rare blowouts.

Eddie had been having what Uncle Wayne liked to call "main character moments" all day, in which he got curious over whether or not the things his character did in his most recent campaign were actually possible. In this campaign, his character had climbed up a big tree, wanting to get a better look at his surroundings. It was a thick forest, almost impossible to see even your hand in front of your face without some kind of lantern, but the trees were thinner at the top, and so climbing was the only option available to the party if they wanted to be able to leave the forest and continue on with their journey. As the bravest, Eddie's character was elected to go first, and so he did. Grumbling the whole way, but he still did it.

That was a trait Eddie shared with his character.

In the real world, Eddie wanted to find out if it was possible to climb such a high tree all on his own, with no safety nets or any kind of equipment. It was dumb as shit and he knew it, but was it going to stop him? No. His character did it, so why couldn't he? So, in his infinite wisdom, Eddie had found a tree within the trailer park (which happened to be within eye sight, hearing range and easy running distance for Uncle Wayne from his home for, you know, safety reasons), and started climbing it. He knew from all his years of climbing trees as a child that if the branches were thick enough and they were close together, it was doable to climb. Not safe, per se, but doable.

Eddie got about half way up the tree before he began to feel like something was wrong. There wasn't much of a wind, but there was a creaking sound coming from somewhere. It wasn't from the movement of his leather clad arms, his jacket was too worn in, too loved, for that, and it wasn't from his white high tops, either. Just as alarm bells began to ring out in his head to stop, Eddie, stop, his Uncle's voice rang out from below him, loud and imposing and angry.

It was a good thing that Eddie knew his Uncle much, much better than that. No one else would have heard the slight tremble in his Uncle's voice, but Eddie heard it. Even so, he began to look around for the next branch to climb up on.

"Edward Wayne Munson, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Ah, shit," Eddie cursed, wincing. "The full name means I'm in for it, man," he turned and looked over his shoulder, down, down at his Uncle. He grinned to see that he was so far up off the ground that he felt like he was living in the world that he had built up within his head. "M'climbing!"

"No," Uncle Wayne shook his head fiercely, his eyes fixed on the bowing branch his boy was stood on. "Son, I know you know what you're doin', you've been climbin' trees since you were a kid, but ya' gotta come down from there."

"What?" Eddie scoffed, turned back to the tree, and grabbed the branch above him to begin to pull himself up, "It's fine!"

"No, it ain't," Uncle Wayne's voice rang out loud enough even from high up where Eddie was that the younger Munson winced, "get down, Eddie, now! Don't make me come up there after you, boy!"

Eddie's previously raised red flag now doubled in intensity because Uncle Wayne never spoke to him like that. Jokingly, yes, with a raised tone, yes, but full-on shouting and threats? That was not in the Munson Doctrine, it never had been and it never would be.

Which meant that this was serious.

And Eddie was literally way up in the air where his Uncle couldn't help him. Heat began to flood the inside of his forehead just as Eddie began to realise that gravity was not, in fact, his friend, and that perhaps that creaking had been the warning sign preceding his Uncle's own verbal one.

"Shit, shit, shit," Eddie's hair flew about his face like dark lightning as he looked around towards the ground, looking for somewhere to go, panic and tensions rising in the tree and down on the ground, both Munsons with baited breath, and Uncle Wayne barely keeping himself together. "Uhh, dad - ?" He called down over his shoulder, "can I cash in on that help, please? Come and get me, man." He lowered his voice and then said, "I'm scared", fingers patting at the tree bark as he continued to look for somewhere to go, as the creaking grew louder and the ground beneath his feet, the branch, which was thick but far less stable than he had initially assumed, began to sway and dip with every shift of his lithe body.

The odds were not in Eddie's favour, for as soon as Eddie saw a branch a little out to his left, one which he could probably reach, the branch snapped.

Luckily, Eddie had had a hold of the branch above him, and so as the branch below him gave way, Eddie was suspended in the air, his upper body strength the only thing keeping him from falling. His lanky legs kicked blindly as he sought for support, and finally he found that branch which had been to the left of where he had been stood, and with far less grace than Eddie would ever admit to, he managed to get himself stable again.

"Jesus Christ, boy!" Uncle Wayne's voice had a more noticeable tremble to it now, but Eddie didn't look back over his shoulder at his Uncle as he began his descent. He wanted out of the tree now. This wasn't fun anymore. "I told ya' to get down 'n now you've gone and almost got yourself killed!"

"Yeah, well," Eddie exhaled heavily as he finally touched down on the cold, hard ground, "wasn't exactly planning for the branches to give out on me, man." His voice was quiet, tone low, embarrassment blazing across his cheeks and the upper shells of his ears. He stumbled as he righted himself properly, legs shaky from the scare. Eddie wasn't sure what was more scary - the way he could have seriously hurt himself, the sound of the branch snapping ringing in his ears, or the way he had scared his dad so badly that as soon as he was on stable ground, Uncle Wayne had Eddie wrapped up in his arms.

"Don't you ever fuckin' do that again, Eddie! These trees ain't right for climbing, they're too damn old."

Eddie had a protest right on the tip of his tongue but he didn't voice it; Uncle Wayne had pulled him into his chest so damn tight that Eddie could only feel his Uncle, he could only smell him, he could only be in his Uncle's embrace as the elder Munson rained kisses down upon the crown of Eddie's head, his nose lingering in those dark curls he had spent years brushing and braiding for his son, helping him to take care of himself when he wanted to but especially when he couldn't.

"Can't scare me like that, boy, ya' gotta be more careful."

"In my defense," Eddie laughed wetly, his eyes begin to tear up as the weight of the situation began to sink into him. He leaned into Uncle Wayne, welcoming his embrace, "you left me unsupervised. What did you think was gonna happen?" A pause and then, "plus, I'm like, grown n' shit, m' not a baby anymore! Don't gotta' keep watchin' me when I go play or whatever."

Uncle Wayne huffed air through his nose in amusement, "don't, Eddie, you could've - you could've been hurt up there and I couldn't have done anything to protect you, like I always have and I always will." A similar pause to the one Eddie took pronounced his next words, "an' unfortunately for you, son, you'll always be my baby boy." Uncle Wayne pressed a kiss to the top of Eddie's head with intention; when he pulled away, Eddie could still feel the pressure of his father's affection, "Whether you like it or not."

"I'm sorry, man," Eddie pressed into Uncle Wayne, who only wrapped his arms even tighter around his son as the two cried together and got the stress of the situation out of their systems. "Guess my character can handle trees better than I can."

He pulled away from the embrace and Uncle Wayne smiled fondly at Eddie as he used the calloused pads of his thumbs to swipe tears away. "All right, that's enough cryin'. Thought you said you weren't a baby anymore." The teasing lilt in his dad's voice was back, and it made the noticeable tension in Eddie's shoulders melt away.

"Yeah, well, crying is metal as shit, dad, so... there's no shame in crying, man." Eddie reached up and used his pointer fingers to dash away his dad's tears, pulling him back in for another hug afterwards. "M'okay, dad, I promise."

"Better be, Eddie. I don't know how I'd survive in a world without you."

"No more trees or we'll be finding out." It was a weak joke, but it made them both smile as humour dispelled the remainder of the tension.

Nerves jangled but tears slowed and the tree forgotten, the Munsons found their ways back to the trailer, but they didn't go their separate ways. They stayed together, shoulder to shoulder on the sofa as they watched whatever shit was on, and if Eddie happened to slouch into his dad's side and if Uncle Wayne happened to tuck his son tighter under his arm to keep him there where he was safe and if Eddie fell asleep against his dad's shoulder, then that was just for the two of them.

eddie & wayne @hellfirebabe @eddiemunsonshoney @potatos-library @bakerstreethound @gemstone-roses @sweetpeapod @authorlovers @jslittlebirdie @heydreamchild @comfortcharactercraze @mywinterivy @corrodedcoffeen @ourstaturestouchtheskies @m00nlight101 @3ddi3-daydreamer @pleasantlycrazyworld @samlealea @manyfandomsfanvergent @indouloureux  @niceboyeds @becca-alexa @singularattitudeofasafetypin @knifeskiss @loving-and-dreaming @hiscrimsonangel @worlds-turned-upsidedown

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot-Part 42 The Date edition

Cillian Murphy

Series Master list 2014, 2015

A/N: I want to start this chapter by celebrating @peakyscillian for 1.5 k followers ! Congratulations dear Lau! I hope you get a lot more! ✨🎉💐 so I was inspired by your amazing dating series but I made my couple go on a date. ♥️

Especial notes: 1) You don’t have to follow the series to read this part, the only things you need to know is Cillian’s wife, Yael is a photographer, the story is set in September 2015, they met at a Photoshoot Cillian did at the end of filming S2 of Peaky Blinders and they are struggling with infertility at the moment, Cillian decides to take her on a special date as he needs to get in the skin of Tommy Shelby.

2) For this part I got the amazing help of two people who actually know about horses, my dear Cia (holacia2) & @notyour-valentine I can’t thank you both enough for all the input you shared with me -the one who knows nothing about horses- you made me imagine everything while writing, thank you for making this possible (you will find your names through the chapter as my way to thank you for your support) 🥰

Her whole body ached, specially her legs after that barre class. Cillian had convinced her it would be a good thing to go back to do the things she loved the most. It wasn’t easy for her, but at least she wanted to try, for him.

Taking her bottle of water, she took a big gulp, just as a voice called for her.

“Hello!”

Turning around, she found another woman smiling at her.

“Hey.”

“It’s good to see you back,” but looking at Yael’s puzzled look, she touched her arm, “oh! I’m sorry we never talked but we’re in the same class, I’m Liv.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Yael.”

“That’s such an unique name, never heard it before…”

Yael chuckled, the amount of times she had to write it down because people couldn’t understand it…

“I missed coming over, now I’ll feel so sore tomorrow.”

“No pain, no gain… or so they say.” Liv laughed. “I’m heading for a coffee, do you want to come?”

To her own surprise, Yael found herself nodding. There was something so charismatic about that woman, she had a light blood and nice energy around her.

“Sorry if I made a face before, I don’t have friends here, all the people I know is friend’s with my husband…” Yael apologized as they were waiting in the queue.

“No worries, we never talked before.” She mumbled while checking the menu. “Where are you from?”

“The UK.” Yael answered ordering the same coffee she always got. “Are you Irish?”

“Nope, I was born in the UK as well, but we moved over here since I was a toddler, so I’m basically another local.”

“That’s really nice.” She waited until Liv ordered to walk to a table. “Thanks for reaching out, all my close friends aren’t here… and I could use one right now.” Her eyes watered in a snap, her pain right there in the surface.

Liv reacted the only way she knew. “Oh darling, what’s the matter? We can sit outside the terrace is empty.”

“Sorry, I’m just all over the place.” Taking her sunglasses from her bag, she decided to hide beneath them. “God, what you must be thinking of me right now, how embarrassing.”

“Nothing bad, just that you need someone to listen.”

Liv moved back in her chair as their coffees arrived, and offered Yael a napkin.

“You know, I could use a friend too, but I’m too shy at the class because all of those ladies look me upside down.” She made a face and rolled her eyes. That made Yael chuckle.

“Most of them look like frustrated ballerinas.”

“But I mean it.” Liv looked at her, feeling like she was a good person. “Whatever is bothering you…”

The day was beautiful, Yael noticed, the sun up and bright, the terrace had big trees in front of it, surrounding the locals.

“I really appreciate your kindness, but it’s a little bit recent and the last thing I want to be thinking of is that. Maybe I’ll tell you another day.” She gave her new friend a try of a smile, it was just too personal to share. “Did I interrupt your reading?” Yael asked taking a look at the book poking out from Liv’s bag.

“Not at all, I always have a book with me, as I’ve to wait in the boring queue at school to pick up my kids.” She then went on to take a bite of the muffin, “Oh! This is so good, you should try it!”

Yale accepted one small bite and offered some of her own to Liv, but with that small detail she realized how Liv really was a good person, without knowing her, she was willing to share her food. She liked her already.

“I love reading as well, maybe we can exchange books or something.” Yael proposed.

“I’d love to do that! Let’s make this a regular, class, coffee and books.” Liv suggested with a huge smile.

And Yael couldn’t agree more, they spent some good time chatting about their lives, another things they enjoyed to do, their families… As they waved goodbye to go on their respective days she hugged Liv and thanked her one more time for her kindness, feeling like a nice friendship was starting, she felt so grateful for meeting someone like Liv.

***

“So I was thinking, maybe I could invite her somewhere? A little dinner to celebrate Liv’s belated birthday?” Yael asked Cillian from the en-suite, running her eyes over the bottles of shampoo, body lotion and other toiletries they would need. “Love?”

Cillian’s eyes were lost in thoughts, sitting by the end of the bed.

“What? Yeah.” He shook his head a little.

“You’re not paying attention.”

Cillian scoffed. Busted. “You’re there talking in your underwear… how am I supposed to focus?”

Yael blushed, suddenly aware, feeling self conscious, she took the leggings she just bought from the shelf and then threw the fluffy sweater over her head, it was longer than a usual jumper, so it covered her bum perfectly, her dark curly hair was now dry, so she did a quick messy bun at the top of her head.

He loved to listen her talk about her activities, especially now about the new friend she just made, until now he didn’t think of how lonely Yael was, of course his family was close and that was such a relief for him, but it wasn’t the same, soon he would be gone for months to film the upcoming season of Peaky Blinders and having a friend close could make things easier for his wife.

“Are you sure these are fine? You said comfortable clothes…”

“That’s perfect.” He smiled, glad that she had been taking her barre classes constantly, listening to her little stories of her new friend, and the excitement over the secret date he had been planning.

Walking towards the bed, Yael left the things she was holding next to her weekend bag, then quietly made her way to sit on his lap, passing her arms around Cillian’s neck.

“Hi.”

His hands linked automatically around her waist. “Hey you.”

“I want to thank you for all the things you’ve done over the last days… I haven’t been on my best and-”

“You have nothing to thank me for.” He fixed his blue eyes on her features.

“I know, but really,” she tried to distract herself with the top button of his denim shirt, his lotion filling her senses. “You’ve been cooking most of the time, listened to my stupid fears over the treatment and I know I didn’t make it easy.”

She brought her lips to met his in a small peck.

“Without you and your support I wouldn’t be able to hold it together, I just want you to know I really appreciate the extra effort you’ve put to make things easier.”

Cillian’s fingers moved in slow circles over her jumper, he wanted to do more, do anything to take her pain away.

“I’d like to do a bit of thinking of our options, investigate more to make a decision of what’s the best road for us, both IVF and adoption are long and tired process and I don’t want to feel pressured.”

Cillian smiled pleased, she always dedicated a huge amount of time before making an important decision, she helped him be less impulsive, think of all the possible scenarios and outcomes.

“We’ll do this on your pace, take all the time you need.” He kissed her, feeling her worries melting away. Her lips telling him a lot more than words could.

“You’re seriously the best husband ever.”

He chuckled. “Ah, that’s because I’ve the best wife.”

“Does it means I’m your favorite?”

Cillian arched his eyebrows, “of course you’re my favorite wife!”

And they embraced each other in a tight hug, feeling some kind of weight was lifted from their shoulders, their journey wasn’t easy, but they got to face it together and that was exactly what they needed. Support, teamwork, union…

“Will you tell me of this secret plans you have?”

“Not yet.”

Yael looked at him with a pout.

“Just a little hint?”

Cillian groaned and made her stand up. “Fine, Tommy needs to come out from the wardrobe for the new season, I need to remove the dust from him.”

Yael squealed as she felt his hand sneak down her back, then to her bum to give her a squeeze and a wink.

“Are you going to tell me what will happen to him?”

But he was already shaking his head before she could finish. “No, you asked for a hint of the plans not the script.”

“Ah, I won’t tell nobody.”

Cillian stopped at the top of the stairs, holding the bag in one hand, bringing her close by the waist with the other. “You’ll have to ask Thomas Shelby.”

She was surprised by the sudden brummie accent, his deep voice making her purr internally, a tingle running up and down her body. But she still tried to get him to speak as they drove to his sister’s house, Yael was extremely excited for the small change, for getting out of the house since some days were harder than the others.

Scout didn’t pay them any attention as they walked out the door, he was busy chasing after Sienna, bumping the stuffed animals with his nose.

“Do you know why is he so mysterious?” Yael squinted her eyes at Orla, keeping her voice down.

“No, he never tells… once he took Evan to Aspen for snowboard lessons and didn’t say anything, until he saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt and freaked out.”

“I swear if he takes me to a shooting camp, I’ll come back walking.” She joked wondering if she could switch places with Orla’s husband.

Orla suppressed a laugh as her brother walked out of the bathroom.

“Enjoy the weekend.”

Over an hour later, Yael saw they were entering a huge ranch, it seemed like a private property full of big trees, a huge structure in the back.

“Where are we?” Her mouth was hanging open by the sight before her eyes.

“This is a horses sanctuary.” He smiled proudly, offering his hand to help her out of the car.

Before Yael had time to react, two women approached the car and as they got closer he greeted them.

“This is Val and this is Cia, let me introduce you to my wife, Yael.”

“It’s so nice to meet you!” Cia welcomed her in a short hug, followed by Val.

“I’m so glad you made the reservation.” She stated.

“When I started to prepare for my role in Peaky Blinders, I came here to take riding lessons, they showed me how to mount a horse, to caress them, well everything.”

“It’s nice to meet you, this is such an amazing surprise.”

Cillian took her hand while they walked around the property, they explained it was a business ran by a family and they were both in charge on the riding sessions.

“This is where we train the young horses we get.” Cia pointed to an big area protected by a tall fence.

“This is beautiful.” Yael breathed out, taking a look around she felt so much peace.

“Wait until you see the horses, that’s the real beauty of this place.” Val offered guiding them to the large stable.

Yael squeezed Cillian’s hand when they entered it, feeling so small in such a huge place, she kept looking everywhere like a child in a candy store.

“This is Thunder,” Cia pointed caressing the first horse. “That one is Sonny, he was born here on a sunny day that’s why his name, and that beauty over there is Star, Penny, is living here temporarily,” she touched every single horse on her way with such a love oozing, and the most impressive thing was they equally gave it back. “Oh, bless you Moose.” She chuckled as one of them sneezed.

“Badger, usually kicks in excitement don’t get scared” Val started to explain just as they hear a loud kick, the hit on the wood echoed and Yael jumped in surprise. “There it is, he’s like a kid with hyperactivity.”

“Where’s Toni?” Asked Cillian remembering the one he used to learn to get used to horses while preparing for his role.

“Oh he’s at another fascility right now, working with children with special needs.”

“I came here to learn how to ride for the series.” He explained to his wife. “They take such a good care of them here, help them heal if they’re sick and show them how to be gentle with people, I met a boy with Down Syndrome while riding and his father told me it helped him so much with his skills and self esteem.”

“Would you like to give them a snack?” Cia asked, barely holding her excitement.

Yael doubted and took a step back, she had never been around horses before.

“It’s alright baby, here, let me show you.” Cillian took the apple slices from Cia’s hand and showed her how to do it. “It’s just like a big dog.”

“Yeah like ten times bigger!” Yael replied with a nervous chuckle still unsure, would the horse bite her hand?

“I’ve been told they can feel our emotions, our fears…” He understood her reluctance, at the beginning he was scared of riding a horse too. Cillian started caressing the muzzle of the horse to show her nothing bad would happen.

“If you don’t want to touch him in the face, you can caress his neck, they are very gentle.” Val offered from the opposite side.

As Yael nodded, she moved automatically to walk around to the other side, to stand next to Val, but her husband caught her right on time.

“It’s the other way around love, you never should walk behind the horse, he could kick you.” He explained so tenderly guiding her by the shoulders.

Yael chuckled nervously, it made sense. After touching the horse with just her fingertips, she realized he was so soft, but firm, moments later, she had completely warmed up to Harrison, smiling up whenever he made a little sound or move his ears, an indication that he was enjoying the petting and attention.

Cillian stepped back, watching his wife taking in the horse, the sparkle in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed to him, he was relieved to see her happy, enjoying the moment, Yael even asked to give Harrison another snack and laughed loudly when his nose touched her hand, it had a funny texture. They showed her how to brush the horse’s hair, it was surprising they had so many tools and it was a way to show some love and respect for the animal, the most beautiful thing about that sanctuary was that, they didn’t do it for the money, they wanted people to understand and value the animals.

But when the horse looked into her eyes, something changed inside of her. It felt as if the horse knew her battle. It was an indescribable moment, she was lost for words.

“Shall we go for a little ride?” Cia proposed and then Cillian winked at his wife.

Yael looked at every single person around with panic written all over her face.

“I tell all the couples that this is the test of fire, if they can ride together, they can live together.” Val encouraged them.

“The look on her face is screaming she’s scared he will throw her.” Cia joked.

“I’ve never been on a horse, and he’s usually making jokes and pranks…” Yael tried to explain.

Cillian faked indignation. “I’d never do such a thing.”

Val and Cia laughed, every single man who said that, did exactly the opposite to his wife.

“Don’t worry, you can ride with us, Cillian can ride by himself.” That seemed to calm Yael, because she accepted the boots Cia offered.

But it wasn’t just like that, let’s go and ride, boom, you’re on the horse, no… they spent a good amount of time showing Yael how to get on the horse, she had a good pliability by her years practicing ballet, but taking the impulse and swing your leg to then land carefully on top of the horse was a completely different task. And she failed several times on the saddle they set up to practice, but she got the chance to learn to control her body as well.

“Alright, keep your back straight,” Cia instructed Yael once she was on the horse, she could tell Cillian’s wife was so tense by her posture, “relax, it can feel a bit weird at first, let the horse guide you.” Cia was sitting behind Yael, holding the reins while she was holding onto the hom tightly.

“Ready?” Asked Val, she would guide Harrison by foot, to help Yael feel more comfortable with the ride.

“Are you sure he’s not going to run?”

“Harrison is very good, he’s such a gentleman and you’ve got Cia to control the pace and moves, don’t worry I’ll guide him slowly too.”

“Baby, you’ll feel a little pull at first.” Cillian warned Yael from his own horse, he was past that initial scary moment now, but he knew it was all new to her.

“Oh my freaking God!” She expressed in a panicked tone as the horse started to move. “Why didn’t you invite Evan to do this?” Yael closed her eyes tightly.

Everyone laughed, both Cia and Val were used to reactions like this when it was someone’s first time riding, it depended on the trust and bond the person could build with the horse.

“Try to not press your legs so much.” Val pointed out.

And finally after a few seconds, Yael opened her eyes, it felt a bit strange, the position she was sitting on, the movement, the way everything looked with the back of the head of the horse so close… but when she looked to her right and found Cillian smiling at her riding close, there were no words. She knew she would do it all over again.

“Eyes on the road please, you’re making me nervous.” She admitted loud enough for him to listen.

But this time, Yael laughed with them, she had started to feel comfortable enough to caress the horse’s hair and neck -trying not to lean too far-, but she was past the shock now, Cia even showed her how to take the reins, giving Yael instructions on how to make the horse take a left and then a right, showing that she was in total control.

“Oh wow, the stable looks so tiny from here.” Yael stated, looking how far they had moved.

“Do you wanna go back now?” Cillian asked, stopping his horse right in front of the other.

She nodded and they started to ride back, Val had to go back earlier to attend other customers. The view was absolutely breathtaking… as they got down from the horses, Cia suggested them go to the picnic table a few meters away from them. She gave the couple a look as they walked away, hoping the details Cillian requested would work, perhaps she should propose the romantic idea to the owners.

Reaching the picnic table under the tree, Yael gasped surprised as she saw everything; the table set for two, lemonade, tea, a pie, a basket with fresh fruits… she was touched by his gesture, her heart could explode from all the love she felt for him.

“This is beautiful, thank you.” She brushed her lips against his.

Cillian sighed relieved that she liked his plans.

“Had to compensate for the scary moment of riding a horse.” He chuckled.

She offered him a bite of one of the sandwiches and Cillian took it, looking right into her eyes, a soft smile decorating his lips. Taking a sip of his lemonade, Yael brushed a small leave from his hair, a lot of things were on her mind, but right there, looking at Cillian with the sun kissing his skin, the wind moving his hair, he was all she could focus on.

They enjoyed the food, it had been a long day and they would be staying close for the rest of the weekend, more riding lessons waiting for them. He needed to get into the mindset of his character and riding a horse was a fundamental part of Tommy Shelby.

“I’ve been thinking on what Val said earlier… about riding together.”

That caught Cillian’s attention, he fixed his eyes on her.

Taking a deep breath, Yael took his hand, looking for comfort, trying to ease her nerves by his touch. “I’d like to go for a ride… with you.”

Cillian was taken by surprise, the last bite of his sandwich stuffed into his mouth, but he was on his feet in seconds, taking a couple of cookies in his hand he offered his free one to his wife.

“Let’s go before you change your mind.” He celebrated pulling her excitedly, she laughed because of his eagerness.

Moments later, they were riding a beautiful dark chocolate horse named Brownie, but Cillian took her on another route, enjoying the calmness, riding together, he sitting behind Yael, his arms around her waist taking the reins, her body pressed gently against his chest, now knowing what to expect from the movement of the horse, trusting Cillian totally to take her wherever he wanted to.

She didn’t know how long they have been riding, but it surely helped her to clear her mind and heart, without realizing soon they reached the beach and the atmosphere changed completely as the sun was starting to go down,reflecting beautifully against the sea gifting them a breathtaking sunset.

One of his hands sneaked around, to wrap around her stomach, his thumb running small circles over her sweater, Yael bit her lower lip lightly thinking of this beautiful moment with her husband, of how much she had learned of herself in the last hours about horses, about riding, about trust.

“I want to try, Cill either way… IVF or adoption, whatever it is, as long as I have you by my side.” She didn’t have anymore doubts left, everything he did for her that day had been cathartic.

Slowly, she turned her head around to look at him, finding so much love in his eyes, she saw him nodding, now that she said it out loud it felt easier, lighter.

“Thank you for today, thank you for this beautiful date.”

Cillian brought up the hand that was holding her to cup her cheek, leaning his head forward, he captured her lips in a tender kiss. The sun lighting her features, making her glow.

He would take her on a hundred more dates.

****

Next part

A/N: Thank you for reading ☺️✨💐 I loved writing this part so much, I wanted them to have a moment of peace, romance, you already know it, your thoughts help me keep going and it’s the best payment I could get ✨

I read somewhere Cillian took a friend to do snowboarding while preparing for his role in Inception, I took inspiration from there too

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @gypsy-girl-08 @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @winchestergirl22 @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @strayrockette @forbidden-forest-witch @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @peakyscillian @moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @queenshelby @heidimoreton @ange-thoughts @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cilliansangel @rangerelik @already-broken144 @alessioayla @paprikabadger @dolllol2405 @conversationpits @itsilvermorny @lafell @imichelle-l-rigby @yrli8 @cutecurly-hair @mrkdvidal1989 @hyperfixationsonshuffle

[xjumbled-up-brainx]

Saw you needed octonauts world headcanons so here’s some I’ve got

1. I think there are probably parallel cities and countries to our world since I’m pretty sure Tweak’s dad lives in Florida? So they have at least a US? Anyway the locations of their major cities and counties are all the same. Most animals live in places close to or in their natural habitat, but cities like London or New York probably have animals from all over the place mingling (but to a certain level of logic like you’re less likely to see a polar bear or reindeer living in South America or something). Cities probably also have slightly different designs to accommodate for the variety of species living in them

2. The world population is split between anthro and non-anthro animals, because the octonauts are clearly anthro but the animals they rescue aren’t. There used to be a lot of conflict between the two groups but now most places don’t care and are designed to accommodate both kinds of animals (Like Tweak and Sandy are friends)

3. Whether or not predation of other animals (especially the non-anthro) is okay is a heated debate in their society

4. It is possible for some non-anthro animals (most likely mammals) to learn to walk and use their paws (hands?) like anthro’s, but it’s very difficult (and vice versa if an anthro wants to learn to be more like a non-anthro)

5. There is a United Nations equivalent who are tasked with keeping peace between species. They have a representative for each major species of each biome, with groups such as rainforest or polar regions working as groups or having one collective vote on large scale issues (they are also the ones who fund the octonauts)

6. Like all things, the octonauts probably have a few haters and enemies (because even in this world there are bad people) and they sometimes have to watch their backs when at ports to resupply (I can see them getting into conflict with people who overfish like in that one fic or people who pollute the ocean or oil rig people)

7. Their world is just as, if not more technologically advanced in some areas than ours (I mean, they manage to hide whole helmets in small collars!)

8. Their world likely isn’t post apocalyptic. Instead, humans never existed and many animals evolved in almost identical ways to fill that niche

9. Most of, if not all, the world share a collective language (Called the universal wild language or something) that makes cross-species communication easier. Each genus likely shares a language (with species having slightly different versions (for example: wolves and dogs will slightly different pronunciations or slang, but sound very similar when compared to a fox)), but all animals are taught the universal language.

10. Most animals have extended lifespans that are closer in length to humans

11. Some objects we use that usually have simple handles will have grips or whole shaped loops for paws to make holding them easier

12. Coat colour possibility and variations are far greater than in our world (I mean, Tweak’s GREEN)

OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Ur ideas are pretty similar to mine so far and I will take all input into my little files ^^

All y’all else👁️👁️ follow suit (if u would like but I appreciate everything!)

[nickeverdeen]

Heeyy sweetie <3

I saw you were doing matchups, and i thought that was so fking nice and wanted to try too. I wanted to try with Arcane and Umbrella Academy.

My name's Meli, and I'm pansexual without any preference. I'm an introvert, and most of the time quiet unless I really trust someone. I had some trust issues, so, it does take me a lot to trust someone. I'm creative (or at least that I a been told), the mother like friend, and an overthinker. Most of the times I wear headphones because I have social anxiety and tend to get overwhelmed with loud noises very easily. I am very sarcastic and have a dark sense of humour and I curse a lot in Spanish (that's my first language,) and English. I'm also a people pleaser, and I just put everyone above me not matter what. I'm an observer and a very empathetic person. Most of the times, i match the other person's emotions without noticing, or if I not e they aren't feeling okay, I do try to make them feel better with subtle things (or at least I try to)

I love to write and read. I have many hobbies, like playing guitar, drawing, painting, sewing and cooking, among other stuffs. I mostly read thriller but I end up reading about everything tbh. I LOVE true crime, and that's why I ended up watching everytime I end up in YouTube.

I hate conflict (mostly angry yelling) loud noises (I said that before, but well), and people who just don't care about other people's emotions.

Feel free to not do this and take your time <3 I'm so sorry if any of this doesn't make sense, my English kinda sucks tbh.

PS: I’m absolutely loving the petname for me

——————————

Your Arcane match is…

Viktor

Viktor would appreciate your quiet nature and find comfort in your presence

You’d both enjoy sitting in comfortable silence while working on your respective projects

He’d be fascinated by your creativity, often asking for your input on his inventions or sharing ideas with you, knowing that your perspective would add depth to his work

Viktor would understand your trust issues and never rush you

He’d be patient, allowing you to open up at your own pace, and when you finally do, he’d cherish that trust deeply

He’d find your dark sense of humor refreshing, often joining in with his own dry wit

Your shared sarcasm would create an unspoken bond between you two

Viktor would be very mindful of your social anxiety and sensitivity to loud noises, ensuring that your environment is as calm and quiet as possible when you’re together

Your ability to empathize with others would resonate with Viktor, who often carries the weight of the world on his shoulders

He’d find solace in your understanding and support

As an observer, you’d notice the subtle ways Viktor cares for others, even when he doesn’t say much

You both would enjoy late-night discussions about science, philosophy, and the intricacies of the human mind, often losing track of time in your conversations

Viktor would appreciate the subtle ways you try to make him feel better, like bringing him a cup of tea when he’s stressed or offering a gentle touch when words aren’t enough

Your love for reading and writing would match well with Viktor’s intellectual nature

Viktor isn’t one for grand displays of affection, but he’d show his care for you in small, meaningful ways—like fixing your headphones when they break or leaving you notes in your native language

Viktor would be intrigued by your love for true crime, occasionally joining you in watching documentaries or discussing interesting cases

Viktor would gently encourage you to prioritize your own needs, reminding you that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes, even if it’s hard for you to do so

He’d be a steady, supportive presence in your life, always there to listen or offer advice when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

Viktor would surprise you with small, handmade gifts that show how much he values your creativity and the unique bond you share

Your The Umbrella Academy match is…

Five Hargreeves

Five would absolutely love your sarcasm and dark humor

The two of you would engage in quick-witted banter that would leave everyone else around you struggling to keep up

Despite his tough exterior, Five would be incredibly protective of you, especially when he realizes how much you put others above yourself

He’d be the first to step in if someone tries to take advantage of your people-pleasing nature

Five would be drawn to your intelligence and creativity, often seeking your opinion on complex matters

Five understands what it’s like to have trust issues, and he’d be patient with you, giving you the time and space you need to feel comfortable around him

Five would appreciate your quiet nature, often just sitting in silence with you, finding peace in the moments where neither of you feels the need to fill the space with words

Your shared dark humor would lead to inside jokes that only the two of you understand, often leaving others puzzled or slightly alarmed by your conversations

Though Five doesn’t always show it, he’s deeply empathetic

He’d notice when you’re matching his emotions and would appreciate your efforts to make him feel better, even if he doesn’t always say it outright

Five would respect your need for personal space and quiet, never pushing you to engage more than you’re comfortable with

He’d also ensure that your time together is never too overwhelming

Five would be intrigued by your love for true crime and thrillers, often joining you in binge-watching documentaries or discussing the psychology behind criminal behavior

Five isn’t big on traditional romance, but he’d show his affection in subtle ways, like making sure you have your favorite snack or fixing something in your house without asking

You both would bond over your love for books, often exchanging recommendations and discussing your favorite plots or character developments

When you’re feeling down, Five would use his sarcasm to lift your spirits, knowing exactly how to make you smile with a well-timed, snarky comment

Five would deeply respect your ability to observe and understand others, recognizing how valuable that skill is, especially in tense situations

Five would be there for you during moments of social anxiety, quietly offering his presence as a grounding force, never making you feel pressured to interact more than you want to

The two of you would have dark comedy nights where you watch the most twisted movies and shows, laughing at the absurdity while enjoying each other’s company

———————

Tag List: @callsignwidow

[amadeusgame]

This month I've... accomplished a lot. It's difficult to communicate just how much, because a lot of the work is the kind that isn't exciting to talk about and doesn't look like much... but it is a lot, and it needed to get done. The narrative work I did this month in particular has helped me prepare to finish the full 5-episode saga, not just a new demo or the first episode.

Speaking of the new demo. I originally planned to release it by the end of this year, but it's looking like that was optimistic, considering how much I'm adding from the original demo. New goal is to have it ready for private playtesting by the end of this year, and released publicly early in 2024. Next month I'll confirm if we're still on track for that!

If you'd like sooner updates, or are interested in playtesting, you are welcome to join the Discord server.

Other resources here, including the new website. Now to the devlog!

Highlights for this month:

Updated Mechanics Implemented: I have built a test scene to triage the new mechanics I've built, and functionality is now at the point where I can start rebuilding the demo with them. I am working with playtesters to identify and iron out bugs as I do so.

Finalized Narrative + Art Direction: I have determined which art assets will be inked, and which will remain in pencil. Part of this decision involved making a lot of overarching narrative and thematic details concrete, so while I don't have much to show for it at the moment, it will really pay off when the later episodes release.

Project Management: I now have a part-time job (unrelated to games), and have spent this past month re-learning how to manage my time and keep on track while also getting enough rest. Brief discussion of navigating this adjustment as a solo dev.

Marketing: This month, I really started thinking more about the kind of marketing *I* appreciate as an audience. I've shared social media posts from other indie dev projects - what is it about those posts that communicated to me I would like the games?

Recreation: media I engaged with this month!

Details below.

Updated Mechanics Implemented

I've made improvements, changes, and additions to several core mechanics so that they are flexible enough for me to build a complete game. This has been very complicated because most of the code I wrote for the old demo was very, very limited, and was held together with duct tape that could just barely handle what I built for the demo, and nothing beyond that. So my mission has been to purge the spaghetti and make my scripts able to actually do what I need them to for a more complete game.

It's very easy to get lost on where to start when approaching something like that, so I want to share an approach that really helped me: writing out the intended functionality in just English as comments first, and THEN figuring out how to script it. It's a way of "sketching" code to break down how it will work before getting into the weeds of proper syntax and functionality.

Some specifics on overhauled mechanics:

Movement - movement scripts can now handle things like an obstacle in the middle of the "walkable" area of the screen. There is polish to do but the core functionality is there and easier to iterate on. I've also added some tweaks that make it "smarter" about handling whether you're currently using point-and-click or WASD inputs.

Screen Transitions - this mechanic is MUCH more generalized now. It can handle as many entry/exit points from a screen as needed, so scene layouts can be much more varied. A downtown screen with multiple alleys each leading to different screens is possible now.

Point-and-Click - I made a lot of changes to the point-and-click movement scheme, many of which involved learning how coroutines work; unfortunately, it's still pretty buggy and rough-feeling. I think I made a mistake by trying to make my control scheme support two completely different types of inputs, because it has resulted in two half-polished movement schemes instead of one relatively polished one. However... I cannot bring myself to axe the point-and-click movement scheme, despite WASD currently being more reliable. So I'm going to move forward with the hybrid, and workshop it as I rebuild the demo. The good news is it is at the point where I can safely implement it without breaking anything (hopefully) while I continue to iterate on it. The better news is, even if it's unpolished, I think it makes the game feel very unique.

Menus - I figured out how to track "layering" the two menus (backlog, and settings screen) so it properly handles freezing/unfreezing movement if you open one on top of the other, and I made the placeholder menus/UI nicer looking. Also added audio volume controls.

Virtually everything in this image is just a placeholder, but it's a placeholder that feels much better than what I had before. Sketching this out on paper gave me a template to start building on.

I will be utilizing the "notebook" as a shortcut to view the text backlog, as well:

I have more work to do formatting the backlog, but it works, and a scroll-bar is automatically added once it exceeds the height of the backlog window.

Thanks to building this test scene, I've got all of my test scripts to a place where I feel confident rebuilding the demo with the new mechanics. There's a lot that needs to be tweaked and changed, but it's finally at the point where it feels like replacing the existing demo with the new mechanics is pretty much a clear upgrade. So I'm excited to get started on that!

Finalized Narrative + Art Direction

In October's devlog, I wrote that determining precisely which assets will be inked and which will remain in pencil was probably this month's most important project. I debated going with a practical approach (such as "ink all assets of this type: talk sprite, interactible, etc") - but I quickly realized that I would have more fun doing something cool with it instead. This turned it from an art direction problem to a narrative problem, which forced me to answer a LOT of questions for myself that I had been putting off until later, because most of these questions will not be unveiled within the scope of Episode 1. They weren't strictly needed to finish just Episode 1 originally; but they would be if Episode 1 were to include an art direction decision that is related to very late-game concepts.

The drawback to this is it took up a lot of time and energy that could have been spent focusing on Episode 1 and finishing the new demo faster and getting a release faster.

The (huge, in my opinion) benefit to this is that Episode 1 is going to be much more effective now, as there are so many things I can set up early on because I already know precisely where I'm going with them. I also just feel more prepared to continue this momentum over the next several years and write the entire narrative, not just the first segment of it. I think the overall experience will be better and more convincing, and that this was an effective use of my time.

I fully expect some things to evolve as I make the other episodes - my experience just in creating the demo has been that some parts of the game truly do write themselves - but I still think this was a very good use of my time this month. It's going to drive me nuts keeping everything I'm planning under wraps for the years until the reveals come, though.

(Which leads me to another very important thing I did this month: called a friend and spoiled literally everything I've been planning to them. I was drawing spoilery fanart of very late-game reveals and needed SOMEONE to spill all of the beans to. The friend in question is an author so they also acted as a very useful brainstorming/sounding board for certain themes I still wasn't sure where to go with... anyway, I cannot recommend this enough. Having just One Dedicated Spoiler Friend has been invaluable.)

Since I spent so much time on the brainstorming part of this, I don't have much to show for it at the moment. I've started inking some more assets, though. Here's Solea (not yet scanned/colored):

Project Management

If you don't read anything else in this section, take away the following: I now have part-time work to offer financial stability and life experience. My real job is developing Amadeus.

Adjusting to being outside of school was difficult, and adjusting to now having a part-time job has also been difficult. However, I am really lucky in that this job is pretty much perfect - it's completely unrelated to games (so ALL of my games and artistic energy can go to Amadeus, not to work), it's part time (so I have much more time to dedicate to Amadeus than I would if I was working full-time), and I like the people there. Thanks to this, I don't have to stress about my financials or a fruitless job hunt, and can focus all of my remaining time and energy to my own projects.

However, having limited free time - even if it's more than I would have if I worked full-time - means project management is even more essential than it was before. It's not just a matter of giving myself deadlines so I get things done, it's a matter of understanding what tasks I can actually accomplish on a given day/week without burning myself out. I find that inking assets is something I am willing to do a little at a time, in bed, before I sleep. Coding is something I'm more than happy to do on lunchbreaks and on my commute. Music composition, however, requires a solid 2-hour block of sitting at my desk with no distractions, and a completely free day afterwards just in case I hit a groove and happen to bang out an entire piece in one afternoon. Learning to work with my own tendencies and not against them is essential to actually getting things done.

One more benefit of my new job is I've learned how to use project management software in a way that works for me to remind myself of what needs doing (especially regular upkeep tasks), in addition to special projects. I've started using it outside of work (on an unrelated, personal account! For the record! Asana is free for small teams!!) to manage Amadeus tasks, and I have to say it has been a game changer. It's really getting me to stay on top of everything that needs doing. I got the advice from several indie devs at SIX to use project management software, and wouldn't you know it, they were right. The folks who actually get enough stuff done to have a demo at SIX know what it takes to get your game made! Who knew??

Marketing

I've been paying more attention to what other indie devs do to advertise their own work. Many aspects of "successful" posts are beyond my control - whether something reaches a wide audience or not depends on too many factors to stress over. So I have decided to focus on what I can control: if the post reaches someone who might like this game, how do I show them that they might like this game?

For the past couple weeks, I've picked a game whose marketing posts I willingly shared on social media because I was excited about the game. I retweeted Small Saga's trailer advertising its upcoming release last week - why? Well, because I watched their trailer video and found it appealing. Why did I watch the video? I don't watch every video on my twitter feed! But something about the trailer footage reminded me of Final Fantasy IX, one of my favorite video games ever made. What, specifically? The character designs and town designs evoked that feeling for me. Then I unmuted the video and really liked the track that was playing, and I decided I wanted to share this.

As a musician, it pains me to say that the music was not remotely close to my first priority when determining whether to share this post. It was a deciding factor, but one that did not come into play until after the visuals had captivated me. The visuals showed me "this game feels like Final Fantasy IX," and that is the hook that got me to stick around for the rest. The trailer succeeded in convincing me, as someone who might like the game, that I might like it. And it did so by letting the game speak for itself. The fact that the font in the trailer matched the aesthetic of the game footage was also a nice bonus.

So last week, I put together a post with a video that was supposed to communicate: "if you like Umineko When They Cry, you might like Amadeus." The same way Small Saga communicated "if you like Final Fantasy IX, you might like Small Saga." I included more of the pure text-based visual novel scenes in this trailer than usual, because Amadeus is turning into more and more of a visual novel the more I flesh out the narrative. I don't know if this accomplished what I hoped it would, but the process of making it taught me a lot.

A couple weeks before this, I based my post off of Cavern of Dreams marketing on Tumblr. Cavern of Dreams appealed to me because its posts told me exactly who it was for: it was for people with a nostalgic love for N64-era platformers. Who is Amadeus for? Well, since I was deep in revamping the point-and-click controls to also allow point-and-spacebar for wrist ease, I made a trailer advertising this accessible input scheme.

I don't pretend to be very good at marketing still, but I've learned a lot just from seeing what other people have done that clicked with me. Marketing, as an indie dev, is really about communication. It's about showing people the heart of what you're making, in a way that lets people who share the same interests find it and enjoy it.

Recreation

3 games to shout out that I played this month:

Burly Men At Sea - an excellent reference for a game with a simple style and focused concept that is really appealing and polished. It's fun, silly, cute, and does what it wants to do extremely well. It's... effectively the opposite of what I am making, which is a game that is scrappy, overly ambitious, and all over the place. But that's okay! It's very grounding to play a game that features strengths completely the opposite of my own.

Once by Moonlight - a short werewolf visual novel here on itch. I don't pretend to think I am the first person to write a visual novel about a werewolf, so I wanted to look at someone else's take on it. I recommend it if you have a couple hours to spare. I took about a page of notes while playing it for my own reference, as both a dev and a storyteller, so you know it's solid!

Tsukihime - I only just started this, but it was a recommendation from a friend after I asked for a VN recommendation that was long enough to binge and go insane over, and preferably had vampires or werewolves. I am certain this will show up under "Recreation" for next month as well, because I can already tell this is going to give me a lot of ideas and influence Amadeus in ways that are yet to be determined. While I myself am not writing a horny visual novel, I also feel it's important to acknowledge that horny visual novels are the backbone and history of the whole genre, so why not play the super iconic one about vampires?

That's a wrap for this month! Next month, my goal is to be able to sum up my entire devlog with "the demo is remade and in private playtesting." Fingers crossed I can hold myself to it. Stay tuned!

[palmviolet]

5 and 12 for the fic writer ask game?

5. do you like constructive criticism?

absolutely not lmao. issues with my fanfiction are between me and god and i guess my reader and their groupchat! i write original work as well and in that it's going to be a much more collaborative process with agent, editor, publisher etc so fanfiction is my refuge from having to worry about if it's objectively 'good' or not. i appreciate people often come with the best of intentions but it would get draining if my hobby came with the possibility of criticism.

12. how does receiving/not receiving feedback/support impact you?

and now on the flipside, i absolutely live for reactions/commentary/feedback that aren't coming from a critical 'trying to improve my writing' angle. i live and die by my comment emails like most writers on ao3 and my absolute favourite thing right now is waking up after posting a new chapter of better by you (since i post them around midnight my time) and scrolling through my inbox to see the responses. it's so rewarding to have people engage with my work, often on a very richly detailed level, picking out themes and recurring ideas i'm only subconsciously aware of inputting. i love having a dialogue with my readers and i'm really committed to responding to comments before posting the next chapter, if only to say thank you, since i appreciate them so much!

it was quite difficult writing in smaller fandoms, since just in terms of sheer numbers i wouldn't get the same response, but it did make me learn to appreciate every single little bit of support i receive. and then writing for steddie and suddenly having this huge audience, all of whom are so lovely, has really reaffirmed my love for writing fic and engaging in fandom in this way.

and in general i am just a very positive feedback-driven person lmao it's what drove me into the academic path i took and continues to be a major motivator in my original work - i'm sharing bits of what i'm working on with friends, not for critical feedback but just for a bit of cheerleading. all of this to say, if you like my work please tell me about it! and if you hate it don't tell me ahaha

thank you for the ask!

fic writer asks

[sludgefriend]

i could definitely see you as someone pleasant to go to a lake with, to spend time with & talk to & whatnot. the way you write is fascinating as always, and i do think if i was ever able to get that genuine chance i would most certainly take it.

actually, as of typing this thats all i really can imagine— you & i, whatever i may be, sitting under the moon as stars glimmer in the sky. our physical differences & contrasts would probably be so jarring it’d be humorous, actually. to state simply, you’re older than me— more wise, so to speak? i don’t know, i don’t know how to fully define someone as wise. i presume just someone who has had a life lived.

anyway, i do think having a conversation with you under that visual or even sitting quietly in silence would be neat. for the sake of discussion, i’ll simply ask right now something i would likely ask you then, if i was able to meet you face-to-face:

do you believe having the capacity of romantic love is vital for living? to have it reciprocated, or even to feel it in passing; is that necessary in order to function? if it is, then is it abnormal to have an absence of it?

i’m.. not sure. i ask you because (like i stated before) you’re older than me and subsequently know more than i do. also because i appreciate your input greatly. romantic love has never been something i personally understood very much of, so i was curious whether or not you see it as a pure necessity when it comes to living.. just fascinated, is all.

regardless of what your answer may be, i do know that in this very moment if i were able to sit beside you i would pat you on the shoulder & follow the action with the simple sentiment of hoping you find the adventure and spark you may be looking for.

in my eyes, you’re very worthy of all things related to subsequently everything; whether thats the feeling of the sun hitting your face & simultaneously rain falling in a rare shared action, or its the feeling of a butterfly on your arm— whatever it may be, you’re worthy of all the hypothetical and possible new experiences.

of course, i’m sure you already know your worth— i just like restating it.

Hahaha, well, I very much appreciate that. I’m always happy to hand on what I’ve learned to others.

That being said, you’ve picked somewhat of an interesting target for this question. Ten years ago, I might’ve given you a different answer. Romantic love has always been very important to me. At times in life, it felt like I couldn’t imagine a life without it, or without actively pursuing it. Though, what I can tell you is this. No. It is not necessary to live a full, or fulfilling life. It can be such a beautiful, special thing. You truly learn another person, come to understand them, grow with them. It’s incredible, it’s exciting, it’s comforting, it’s beautiful. However, there are other experiences in life that can be just as beautiful and awe-inspiring. What those happen to be, though, comes down to who you are. It can come from family, from friends, from a hobby, a career, an event, a place, a time.

Think about it like, ehhh, food. I could probably go the rest of my life not eating another fish, but there are some people out there that couldn’t even imagine it.

My advice to you, I suppose, is to just follow your heart. A bit wishy-washy, I know. But at the end of the day, I think it’s true. Love and fulfillment are things you don’t need to force. They enter your life in strange and unexpected ways, most of the time. If someone your age happens into your life, and you find yourself wanting them around, wanting to know them in an intimate way, then follow that feeling and see where it goes. But if romance isn’t something that truly speaks to your heart, there’s nothing wrong with that, either. There are many ways to feed your soul.

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Hey! Hi! Hello! I’m the MaladaptiveWriter12 and welcome to my Dreamscape! I’m Sleepy and this is my new and improved blog! You can also find me in another dream, my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12! ( ´ ω ` )ノﾞ

For starters, this dreamscape is 18+! Please be respectful of this! If you are under the age, and or uncomfortable with this, do not interact. On the same note, a lot of this blog’s happenings will be SFW, but I will be posting quite a bit of NSFW works and such. I will add tags and warnings on those posts to make viewing easier, just in case there are some topics anyone would like to avoid.

Now to go over some rules! Some of these rules are subject to change, but I’ll go over that later. As for now, here are some of my blog rules.

I allow constructive criticism, but I will not accept hate!

I’m all ears if you have any input on my works, weather it be my writing style, something you’d like to see, etc. And you don’t have to like my work, and you don’t have to tell me if and or that you don't like it, that's okay. But if I’ve gotten something wrong, or if you’ve found something I’ve written to be offending, please tell me. Of course, I’m not purposely trying to offend anyone, and I’ll try to avoid that, but we all are human, and we make mistakes. That being said, I will not tolerate deliberate hate towards me, my work, other commenters, fans, followers, etc. You get the picture. If I find it, you will be removed.  ＼＼٩(๑`^´๑)۶／／

And another rule, do not take my work and claim it as your own, and or repost it on a different platform!

I know I shouldn’t have to say this, but I think we all know how people are nowadays when it comes to art. Do not repost my work! As a writer, I’ve spent too long and too hard on my works for someone to take claim and all credit for something they didn’t do. As I wrote above, I’m cross posting my works on Ao3, under the same username, TheMaladaptiveWriter12, so if you see my works being reposted on any platform other than these two, and or under a different name, please notify me as soon as possible.     (*_ _)人

On the topic of reposting, reblogs are allowed!

Tumblr reblogging is much appreciated unless said otherwise! It helps me out, but all I ask is if you would use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12 when you do so.  (´꒳`)♡

Welcome to Rem, the phase of sleep where most dreams occur!

Twisted Wonderland Dreamscapes 

Twisted Wonderland OC (Mirai Yuhara) Dreamscapes

TBA

Twisted Wonderland AU Dreamscapes

TBA

You figured out you were dreaming, didn’t you? Well that’s the point of Lucid Dreaming, and the best part is, you can do whatever you want!

Requests

Open

So depending how far I get with this, especially since my following right now isn’t much, I may or may not open requests. 

If it ever happens, my requests will only be works between my Twist OC and a select few of Twist characters.

And if that goes to plan, and depending how confident I am with my writing, then and only then will I open up requests outside of my OC. (With rules, of course!)

Asks

Open

So the same is happening here. I don’t know how far I will get with this, and I don’t think there’s a point in opening asks if my blog isn’t even being seen.

But if that ever happens, my asks will have rules and mostly will be an “ask me anything” type ask box. Ask me or my Twist OC about anything, how we are doing, thoughts about the game, Twisted Wonderland if anyone needs specifics, stuff like that. 

And if you have something that could be a “request,” but just want a short answer, feel free to drop it as an ask!

 See rules here  __φ(◎◎ヘ)

Did you think you were awake? Felt so real, didn’t it? False awakening will do that to you. But that’s okay, you’re almost awake, just a little further.

Behind the Scenes

This will be where I ramble about the makings of my works. Thought processes, references, stuff like that. This way I can give more insight on my works, to share my thoughts on a more intellectual level, if that makes sense. σ(￣、￣〃)

Updated on 10/8/2023

[stinkrascal]

If it's not spoilers could you please talk about vlad? Like what does he like, hobbies and how he feels about his family, the small stuff, thank you! And I can't wait for your Breanna and Vlad spinoff

hello anon thanks for the cool question!! and thanks so much, i really hope u guys enjoy the backstory reprisal!! im getting so close to finishing it, i can't wait to post it for everyone to read!! <3

i'm putting this under a cut because ohhhhhhhh boy did i ramble so hard lol.

vlad loves reading and writing a lot! he reads almost constantly, and he's a bit of a braggart when it comes to his vast knowledge of many different things, which he's learned about from books alone. he has no formal education, so reading was his only avenue for learning for a long, long time. after becoming a vampire, and before meeting breanna, he spent many centuries alone, with his only company being the books he surrounded himself with, so reading very quickly became a huge pastime for him. before becoming a vampire, vladislaus was actually illiterate and couldn't read or write; he was taught to read and write in english and in russian by yakov petrova, a natural-born vampire whose native language is russian. so, vlad honestly has a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to his own intelligence. because of this, he tries to make up for that insecurity by being as well-read as he possibly can. even after all these years, he still has that lingering fear in the back of his head, so he's almost always reading in an attempt to learn more and more! as far as writing goes, he enjoys using his writing as a way to vent about his frustrations, and often he uses his writing to delve into the deeply personal history of his past, as well as some of his crueler intrusive thoughts he doesn't wish to admit to anyone aloud. he isn't a professional by any means, and his writing is something he doesn't share to most people, not even to breanna at times, but it does help him significantly. if he were to pursue any career, he would be an author!

he also really loves music! one of his greatest hobbies is collecting new vinyl and listening to it with breanna, so they can discuss how they feel about the music. he's listened to literally everything, and since vampires integrated with humans and were granted access to internet usage, now he can listen to all the underground artists he never would have been exposed to when vampires only lived among themselves! not only does he love music, but he's musically gifted himself; he can play the piano and the organ, and he's a good singer. he's shy about his talents, though, so he won't often play for people. occasionally, he'll play for his family, though :-)

vlad is EXTREMELY family oriented, and he cares very very deeply about his family. this has been true of him his entire life, even before becoming a vampire. in his human life, he lived on a farm with nine younger siblings. as the oldest child, he took on much of the childcare for his younger siblings, and as such became something of a surrogate father to them, as their real father was often gone, and their mother was bedridden from various illnesses. so, even at a young age, he's been rather paternal and nurturing in nature, always wanting to provide for others. vlad has this deeply-rooted insecurity, where he needs to feel needed, he needs to feel as though his help contributes to something greater, and to him, fatherhood satiates that desire. so, as you can imagine, he puts ALL his effort into his family, honestly, to the point where he's extremely distrusting and dismissive of people outside of his family, and he can be extremely overbearing at times. he's the type of person who always thinks he's right, so when he sees his children in need, he's not shy to give his input on what he thinks they ought to do to better themselves. sometimes this is appreciated, but other times it can come across as condescending and patronizing. which, rest assured, he is condescending and patronizing, but he doesn't mean to be--he's just seen a lot of suffering in his lifetime, and he can't imagine that suffering being inflicted onto his wife and children. he feels very responsible for the wellbeing of those he cares about, so he'll do practically anything he feels will keep them safe. at the end of the day, though, he's just happy to have his children around. honestly, if vlad had it his way, none of his children would ever move out of the house! they'd all just live together in one big, happy family forever and ever. he's the person who's always organizing family dinners, outings, and vacations, the one who always texts and facetimes his children without so much as a warning, just to ask them about their day, and if anything cool has happened. and if nothing cool happened, that's fine! he just loves the sound of their voices. after going so long without a genuine connection with anyone, he relishes in the fact that he has such a large family with such a close bond!

i've mentioned this a lot before, but vlad is VERY overprotective of breanna especially. obviously he feels this way about his children too, but he has such a close bond with breanna, being away from her feels unthinkable. he always wants to be around her, he's constantly checking up on her and making sure she's okay, she's happy, she's cared for, etc. they met during a time where they both felt completely alone, isolated from the world around them, with no friends, no ambition, and no care for their own wellbeing. he honestly sees a lot of himself (and a lot of his younger brother, who will be talked about one day far in the future lmao) in breanna. in a lot of ways, even though he didn't know breanna when she was a human, he feels personally responsible for her troubled upbringing, and he feels this even more now that they're together. whenever she faces any problem, he feels like he personally needs to fix it, as to alleviate the hardships she's endured.

so, it's no surprise that he's EXTREMELY clingy and needy, and honestly very codependent. if you asked vlad about himself, i think he'd have a hard time coming up with an answer which doesn't revolve around him being a father and a husband, him caring for his wife and children, because he's honestly just so enmeshed into that lifestyle and especially w/ breanna that it's hard to see anything else. i amount that to him being a deeply insecure person, someone who constantly feels anxiety and someone who constantly needs reassurance that he's needed in this world. it's definitely one of the reasons why he's so attached to breanna, because she makes him feel needed. obviously there's other reasons too!! like, they genuinely just get along and treat each other well. but there's no denying she itches this particular scratch for vlad (and it's the same for breanna too, i would say their relationship is very symbiotic in this sense).

what i'm trying to say, is that while i think this man seriously needs some therapy to work on the centuries worth of insecurities he's woven into his very being... he does genuinely love and care for his family very much, and he wants nothing more than to see his family happy. it's just that sometimes he expresses this feeling in very questionable and unhealthy ways.

he's just a very paternal and pathetic and pretentious man and i love him so very much for that <3