#Sharing would be appreciated so I get the most input possible

[flamingteddyproductions]

Am I over thinking tilesets?

I've been working on a new set of tiles over the last year, with a lot of work placed mostly in hospital and home themed sets, and a school set next. There's more I'm going to make, but they still don't feel finished yet. I don't know if I'm overthinking it, or if they would still be needed, so here's a pole to maybe help me get a gauge on whether they are done or not.

The home and hospital sets have door sprites, A2, A4, A5, and B-D. Currently working on the sprites as well, which are also going to have a lot of sheets since I'm trying to account for skin tones and different hairs. Hairs being particularly hard since I'm working at 16x32 scale, and the sprites are slightly shorter than that, so I'll have room for larger hair and hats.

Maybe it's just because I'm particularly picky and love having options myself that I want to put so much in them, but they're also sets I want to sell (save for the home set, as that's gonna be a free base set). I worry about recolors being seen as lazy, about there not being enough items, etc. I want them to be worth the price I want to set for them (like 5 bucks per set). Already have plans for some outside tiles that'll be part of the base set, soon as I figure out how to make plants to my satisfaction.

Also, please ignore the weirdly spaced table and chairs, that's for an event I'm still trying to figure out the looks of in MZ. . x . ;

[newkatzkafe2023]

Ya know

Iva always wondered what the Sun Wukong's would be into

Like what traits do they find attractive (I can already tell with BMW because he "loves serial killer woman" lol)

What would they want in a partner huh???🤔 I never thought about it but let me see🙃

(Lmk Wukong) He would look for someone who is cheerful, kind and know how to have fun. Someone who silly but still way more responsible then he'll ever be, Wukong loves how you always make sure he has everything he needs along with Mk. He also likes how much you get emotional when he's injured, and even though he's immortal you still worry over him like you were hurt as well. Wukong loves how you care so much despite him being strong, it tells him that you will always be there and will always support him forever. 🥰

(MKR Wukong) Somebody It is the same as a rose beautiful with thorns meaning, a woman with a sweet face but sharp claws. You would also would have only some expectations for him but you would also know that he tries his hardest every day for you. Therefore you would reward him with kisses and the affection he deserves from you, you also can get a tad bit violent especially to anyone who's a threat to your husband and Fruity And it puts a blush on his face everytime.😩

(NR Wukong) Somebody who can always keep him grounded, but can keep up with the wild side of Sun Wukong gets into every day. You keep him from making a mess of things, but you still laugh along his antics and mishaps. You're a good sport, about it too. He also loves how you have some wisdom yourself as you would give Li and Su your input and advice to him them in the long run. Wukong also loves how you would tease him lovingly and be mischievous too, over all its always a trip with you😉

(HIB Wukong) Supportive and kind, along with motherly and protective of your love ones. That's what he looks for in a wife although you can tease him about his grumpy face and surprise it with kisses and snuggles. Wukong appreciates how scary you can get when he and the kids were to ever be put in danger and gets protective. You also someone who understands his frustrations and be a good listening ear, and would hug him for support. Wukong is just glad to have you here, along with The kids and pigsy.👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

(Netflix Wukong) He absolutely needs the motherly type of wife. You are firm but also loving. You would scold him whenever he does something he's not supposed to, but unlike most people, you would at least explain to him why he did what he did was wrong. You never judge him on anything he does, but you make sure to get how you feel across, especially with your disappointment on him. Though you always tell him that he's a good man and to never listen to the nasty people who insult and belittle him. Your love for him, is what he should focus on.🤱

(BMW Wukong) You Hit the nail on the head😂, he would love to marry a woman who could possibly kill him immortality be damned🤣🤣🤣. You were at first cheerful and charismatic to him and even a tad bit mischievous, teasing him ever so slightly. But the your true colors came to be as wild, ferocious, not afraid to get your claws dirty and never let anyone especially the heavens tell you what to do. Wukong wanted to put a ring on your figure the second you ripped that one celestial's eyes out with your thumbs. Wukong still purrs whenever you Threaten his life to this day🤤

(Destined one) He would love someone adventurous and a sweet travel buddy to explore with. You also understand his body language and pay close attention to his likes and dislikes, he also like someone who can cause a little mischief to him as well and it would be both cute and funny. You share every discovery you make together strengthening your bond, your quite the whisperer as well trying not to disturb him. The Destined one's greatest treasure though is the marriage he gets to have with you.🥹

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🫶

[mistmessenger]

Seen | Papa V Perpetua x Reader

Perpetua believes he has finally found the connection he has been craving for so long.

Pairing - Papa V x gender neutral reader

MDNI

Content warnings: mention of masturbation and sex, not majorly explicit. Pepetua is insecure. Unrequited love. Angst.

AO3 Link

I had originally planned this to be with Copia but honestly I feel bad about the levels of angst I’ve been putting pookie through lately.

After a lifetime hidden away in the shadows, touring life was a shock to Perpetua’s system. Listening to the cheers of the crowd, their jubilation as they sang in unison with him.

To feel truly seen for once in his life.

Of course, something was still missing. He wore a mask, keeping a part of himself tucked away. They sang songs that were not truly his. They celebrated success only made possible by the years of hard work by relatives he hardly knew. The ghouls loyal to a brother who detests him, interacting with him long enough to do their jobs, but little else.

After so much time spent longing for connection, he realised the connection he had found through fronting the Ghost project was not quite what he was looking for.

He loitered aimlessly around the tour bus he shared with no one other than the driver. The hour was late, the night’s chill creeping into the air. Watching the bustling around him, the ghouls celebrating another show well done, roadies in a flurry to pack up gear and get moving to the next spot. In the beginning he had tried to get involved, offering assistance, trying to engage in small talk. But it seemed so difficult - his offers of help declined because of his position, the ghouls regarding him with awkwardness when he tried to join them. Eventually he stopped trying so hard, letting the flurry pass him by, watching this world he had been so suddenly thrust into pass him by.

Perhaps, he thought, the connection with the crowds will have to do. Beggars cannot be choosers, after all.

“Another great show, Papa!” A voice chirped, startling him from his thoughts.

Turning slowly, he faced you, instinctively reaching out as he saw you precariously balancing numerous cups of coffee, snacks, and a clipboard.

“Thank you. Please, may I?”

You didn’t have time to decline his offer as he caught the cup that had been slipping from your fingertips. Flustered, you chuckled.

“Thanks. Um. Thanks Papa.”

He walked with you in silence as you made your way around with coffees for the roadies, diligently checking that they all had their correct orders. He found himself appreciative of the way you spoke everyone’s name as you tracked them down. He’d been having trouble learning people’s names, and the reminder was most welcome.

That became his routine after the adrenaline of the stage wore off. Hunting you down and assisting you in the late night coffee run. For the briefest of time he felt human again, your cheerfulness infectious as you chattered with him. Inane small talk, funny stories about previous visits to certain locations. His input was limited, fearful he would say the wrong thing, something strange that would shut down the conversation, but you seemed to understand his apprehension.

He savoured it, those little chats each night, lamenting when there was a few days gap between shows, missing out on the opportunity to feel seen by you.

When the time felt right, and he had spent enough nights wide awake tossing and turning in his cramped bunk as he scripted the scene, he asked you to join him on his private bus for the night.

Of course, like all idealised scenarios, it didn’t quite happen the way he had planned it, becoming awkward and fumbling over his words.

“Um. Not ‘joining me’ in that way.”

Oh Satan, why did I say it in that tone?

“I mean. Not that that would be a bad thing, by any means-“

Too much! Too enthusiastic! Tone it down!

“I- I just-“

“Papa!” You chuckled, shaking your head at him. The face paints were in that moment, a saving grace. At least he would not embarrass himself by letting you see how his skin burned underneath the paint. “Relax, I know what you meant.”

You were hesitant, seeking out approval first from your superiors, who of course in turn got the wrong idea.

Of course. Everyone assumes ‘the creature’ is some kind of pervert.

You’d managed to convince them otherwise, at least - you were just there to keep him company.

Turns out you weren’t much of a sleeper either. It was the beginning of frequent long nights spent chatting, with Perpetua becoming comfortable talking to you about his past, even letting you reassure him about his insecurities about his performance as a Papa, even telling him that his brother would warm to him in time.

As much as he hated proving others right, deep down he knew what he felt for you. The nights you didn’t spend on his bus spent writhing in his bunk, his mind scripting more scenes, stroking himself at the idea of giving himself over to you fully. Letting you see him entirely as he is. Proclivities, desperation, scars and all.

To open himself to the possibility that things might progress with you into something deeper than friendship. That your kindness would metamorphose into something else, into the connection he’d been craving for so long. That your quick reassuring hugs each time he lamented about flubbing his lyrics would turn into more passionate embraces, your body warm beside him, beneath him, above him, heating him in spite of the cool night air much better than any flimsy blanket ever could.

But how could he ever tell you of these desires? After he had been so careful to ensure his desire for company was not misconstrued in the beginning. Perhaps he would ruin everything, the closest thing he’d had to a best friend on this tour, perhaps even in his life.

Perhaps you would think he purposely misled you, playing a long game to get in your pants. He questioned himself even, wondering if deep down in his starved subconscious, that had been his intention all along.

Instead he settled for friendship. Lamenting how, while not truly ever letting you see him, he never got to see you either. The lights of the tour bus always too dim to notice the finer details of your expressions, as much as he tried to study you. Longing to see you in the daylight for once, to see how your eyes might glint in the sunlight, your schedules never quite allowing it.

The collection of screenplays in his mind grew, eventually settling on perfecting one. The one where, back at the ministry, after the first leg of the tour was finished, he would spend more time with you, he would, at the very least, ask you on a date. He picked each word painstakingly. He played the scene over and over until it was perfected. The moment would be perfect, provided he didn’t fumble his lines, and you stayed on the script you had no knowledge of. You would blush, accepting readily, coyly telling him how you had felt the same way all this time. And in his new Papal suite he’d heard so much about, should they ever open the forsaken doors to him, he would take you, again and again. He would let you see him unmasked, to be seen to each other in ways no one else would ever have the privilege of.

The dim lights he only ever seen you in were a curse. For if the light had hit your features in the right time, he might have noticed the heat that spread across you skin, how your pupils would widen at the mention of his predecessor, his twin brother, stimming and twisting your fingers as you told Perpetua all about him.

It was something he remained ignorant of, until the tour crew’s return to the ministry.

His nerves rattled at the prospect of finally meeting Copia, he purposely remained behind the rest of the crew, delaying the inevitable as much as he could.

His brother was there to see them back, a few of his old ghouls hugging him warmly, speaking to a few of the roadies.

And then it was your turn.

“Hello you!” He heard Copia speak in a voice so similar to his own, he saw the way you grinned upon hearing it, leaving your bags at your feet and awkwardly extending your hand and going in for a hug at the same time. How your eyes fluttered shut in contentedness as he embraced you, the deep inhale you took.

He was close enough to hear your stammered words.

“Hi! I missed you- uh. I mean the ministry. I. I mean it’s good to be back-“

Pulling away from the hug, Copia waved his hand at your words.

“Heh. Relax, I know. It is good to have you back, friend.”

He turned away from you then, to greet someone else.

It was in that moment Perpetua seen you. And it was like looking in a mirror, something he tried not to do too often.

The flush of your skin, embarrassed at saying what you thought was the wrong thing. The slight tightening of your smile when Copia referred to you as his ‘friend’. The wistful gaze in your wide eyes watching him go.

Oh. I see.

You felt it too. That longing.

Just not for him.

[begrudging-fudanshi]

I'm not sure where I saw it but there are a few references to classes and teachers (like in the character book where they have subjects they're best and worst at, in a few chapters where they reference "class/es", and in an interview with satoru nii, I think, though I can't find it) – the Reddit pinned post for the manga is ood for the interview where they talked about it. In the interview, it sounded like they said it was just a pragmatic thing; the story follows the action, so there's not really any need to flesh out the school side of Furin, but that could have just been a deliberate obfuscation. I hadn't really thought about it (generally, I don't care to, because that side of fandom can get really condescending and form echo chambers of "no one else is thinking about this right or as much as us") but I found your thoughts interesting to read and thought you might have wanted to know about the teacher thing, because even if teachers are there, they haven't been included in the main story at all, and don't seem to be trying to teach them anything beyond the academic curriculum.

Thanks! I had seen that, but I try to mainly base my analysis on what's in the text itself ("the author is dead" and all that). However, I appreciate the input and I actually do have some related thoughts on this.

By the way, if you or anyone else seeing this post can tell me any specific chapters where the Furin kids talk about school stuff, please share! I totally missed any mentions of that, so my views below are all based on the assumption that the kids never mention anything school related.

A few messy thoughts:

I accept that the Furin kids do go to class, but to your point, their teachers seem ineffectual at best (and, as I'll get to later, extremely trusting). I figure that anyone who'd teach at a delinquent school notorious for year-round fighting is probably not great at their job. Before Bofurin, I imagine the teachers had all given up any hope of teaching anything and just tried to survive. Ever since Umemiya took over, they've probably been so happy to finally have some peace that they just let him and the other kids do whatever they want.

While I try not to speculate too much about authorial intent, it often feels to me like Nii has challenged himself to take as many stock tropes as he can and to use them as effectively as possible (or maybe he's just a really good writer using a lot of stock tropes lol). For example, Sakura is a classic tsundere, but it's actually rationalized in a really compelling way by his characterization. Likewise, WBK also takes the trope of invisible teachers and actually fits it into the broader themes of the story (as previously discussed in the post you're referencing).

I kinda wonder if Nii was forced to show the protagonists going to high school in order to be published, and thus chose to do it in the most cursory way possible. It kinda feels like the story was meant to be told with a cast of young adults, but maybe Nii or the publisher felt like it'd sell better with teenage protagonists in a school setting. I also suspect it would be controversial (and understandably so) to publish a series aimed at teenagers where the teenage protagonists choose not to attend high school, so I've thought the whole invisible teachers approach could be a workaround for that.

That said, the absence of teachers (and any other responsible adults) just feels so conspicuous that it's hard to write it off as purely pragmatic. Plenty of series have seemingly nonexistent teachers, but they usually avoid showing kids in settings where teachers would appear. WBK could have easily done that (e.g. by giving Bofurin an HQ near the school where they spend all their time), but instead it practically goes out of its way to rub the school setting in your face. For that matter, Nii also could have chosen a different setting where kids wouldn't have to attend school at all, but he explicitly chose to set WBK in what is very clearly present-day Japan. I don't think it's worthwhile to speculate about what Nii "really meant" by this (or if he really meant anything at all), but from an analysis point of view, this is just too conspicuous for me to ignore.

A theme in WBK that I'd like to explore in-depth at some point is trust—namely, how WBK challenges us to imagine trusting these so-called delinquents who are rejected everywhere else and to imagine that they might make their world a better place of their own accord. The absence of visible teachers really highlights this trust. The kids have been given free reign of the school to do whatever they please but, despite adult authority figures being functionally nonexistent, they've still managed to turn it into a better place.

Lastly, while I have to admit I probably fall closer to that "no one else is thinking about this right or as much as us" side of fandom than not, let me just say: fuck anyone who's condescending about it. I personally enjoy deeper media analysis and am trying to cultivate more of it around WBK in my own way, but everyone is allowed to engage with media how they want. The angle I'm trying to take is more "Hey, here's this neat thing I noticed!" as opposed to "You're enjoying this wrong." and I hope that others will do the same.

[wings-of-ink]

Looking for your Input for IF Patreon

Hello my friends and neighbors! I hope you are all safe and well. I had some things to share with you and I am once again fishing for thoughts and opinions.

Like many of us who create these IFs, I am strongly considering a Patreon. I have no plans to go exclusively to Patreon, so don't fret. I want to make extra content to go along with any IF I work on, and I'd like to be able to put more things into these projects such as real art (including character portraits), and not just the stuff I flounder through on Canva. I'd like to pay my artist a fair wage and devote more of my time to this. Getting some support would help me allocate even more to these projects and extras. I'm testing the waters here to see if it's sustainable for both myself and subscribers as well. I do not know what timeframe I'm looking at to start this either.

I only want to do this if it's worth the while for everybody, so I'm putting out feelers and asking for your input.

Most of all - I want to know what you want in a Patreon sub. I also want to know what you feel to be a fair sub price for different tiers. Over the years, when I have been able, I have subbed to help support my favorite creators at all different levels. So, I have some ideas on what I am looking for in a subscription, what keeps me coming back, and what prices are both fair for the effort of the creator as well as for my pocket. But, what suits me may not be what you want, so that's why I need some feedback.

Below, I have compiled my ideas, so far, for possible tiers. None of these are set in stone, just a framework to build on to see if I'm on the right track. At the bottom is a poll (of course, it's like my favorite thing), and is probably the first of a few about this topic I will use. I welcome comments and suggestions on this topic. Tell me what you are looking for in a Patreon. What do you want from one each month? What keeps you subscribed? Please feel free to comment below or to send comments and suggestions via the Ask inbox, especially if you prefer to be anon (do let me know if you do not want your response posted - I may post some that either have questions or that I find relevant to the conversation).

I still do not know for certain what the ultimate future of God-Cursed will look like (meaning when it is all finished). I've played with the idea of eventually refining it to sell on itch and/or Steam. I have to admit that being able to do so would really feel like a huge accomplishment to me. I've always had dreams of being published and such, and it feels like a part of that dream. I, personally, prefer to buy IFs through either platform whenever I can. It supports my favorite authors, shows my appreciation, it compiles my favorite stories into an easy-to-find library, and I can relive my favorite stories over and over easily. So, needless to say, this is calling to me more and more.

Anyway, what I have come up with so far for possible offerings are these. Please let me know if something like this would work for you or if you have any suggestions for improvement:

An appreciation/tip jar - if the other tiers aren't for you or you just want to give a little love. Subscribers could get updates and public posts, and participation in polls.

A "Supporter" level - all the other stuff plus GC demo releases 1 month (30 days) in advance. I debated about the time, but I want to really make the early access feel worth it. This level would also be privy to some "insider" info (things cut, character development, the egregious typos, etc…). Of course there would be some sort of dev-log to go with this as well.

A "Plus" tier - all the above plus early release of demos for other IFs, more "behind the scenes" type things, and I'm thinking some POVs and other extra content (some interactive) such as short stories. These extras need not be exclusive to IFs either if anyone is interested in other things I write.

"SMUT" or "Spicy" tier - (being very honest, I'd be the most excited for this tier, lol) all the above including all things smut for each IF. This will include interactive extras, short stories, and any other horny content we want. Likely will run some polls and take suggestions for the spice you desire each month.

"Smut plus" (lol) - all the above, PLUS a patreon-only IF that I will have in the works (so, access to 3 projects in total). I have an idea for an IF that will focus on 1 RO at a time (each with their own complete and unique story within the same world), and I am itching to write it even if updates for it will be a bit slow. It will be more like a traditional dating sim type thing and may comprise all sorts of genres. This may be one that would be good for just subscribing on months that will have updates, and that's something I would probably post about publicly so if you're just interested in getting access, you don't have to worry about staying subbed.

And finally a sort of "Power Supporter" tier - this may be like a limited number sort of thing and be a bit pricey (not sure yet how much). You'd get a custom interactive story set in whatever world of mine you want that can be spicey or not. You'd give me all your MC's details (mostly cannon things but some liberties could be taken), physical traits and personality, and pick your RO and/or other desired characters. I'd take prompts or ideas from you as well concerning what you'd like in the story. You want a sexcapade - you can have that. You want to have tea with Oswin and his weird twin sisters - you got it. The main limitations are spoilers, of course, especially for any mystery ROs depending on when and if this all comes to pass. There may be some subject-matter that I will not write about, but I'd let you know what is out of bounds for me.

Naturally, I would also pop your name in the credits, I just don't know which tier that should go on.

So, there you have it. This has been on my mind for a while and I've gotten some questions and messages asking about if I will do something like this, so I'd like to give it a go at least.

Looking forward to hearing your ideas and desires! ^_^

~Lunan

[damagedcoda6669]

okay so i am. so confused! are you a system/plural after all?

you made a post on your twitter about being the "original host" which is. a plural term of course but ALSO i'd like to say that the idea of there being an "original" is veeery misleading and not actually possible in DID/OSDD

the reason DID/OSDD exists at all is because a child's identity was unable to fully form in their developmental years, so the identity splits off and fractures into several parts necessary to keep the child safe. because of this, there can be no "original host" because there was never an identity formed that could be considered the "core," in a way, at all. it gives off the idea that there was one set identity that split off others later on in life, which isnt how DID/OSDD works in terms of alter formation

also, the disorder can only be developed in your early formative years, so its mostly unheard of for a system to go through life with a single part only to split off later on. your brain splits off alters in response to stressors or traumatic experiences, and so when the disorder is formed there would have to have been a fracture from the beginning where your identity wasnt able to come together to form a single one. multiple alters can be "original," in a sense, but there is not one sole original

i suppose that other alters could have simply been integrated and so they arent a part of your system anymore (leaving you as the "original host"), but thats probably not my place to explore and its all a bit too complicated for a tumblr ask

there are parts that have been around longer than all the other parts and there are parts that identify with/as the body or the head of the system, buuuut i just wanted to share that tidbit of information because misinformation can be very harmful when it comes to healthy plurality!!

in any case, dont let this cause you to spiral into more self-doubt because — surprise! DID/OSDD is supposed to be hard to understand or identify within yourself. its a trauma disorder formed to make you as functional as possible, so generally the disorder tries very hard to hide your other parts from you as to protect you from those traumas. being confused is a major part of plurality, and most long-term hosts do have the misconception of being "original" because there was no reason to think otherwise.

its also fully possible that you have been the host for the majority (or entirety) of your life, so dont get me wrong! im just trying to share that the idea of an "original" alter isnt possible.

regardless of whether or not you're plural, i wish you the best in exploring yourself and the way that your brain functions. you're doing great, truly!

and if i misinterpreted anything, im deeply sorry for that too. i'm just a stranger on the internet trying to provide input using the information i was given, and i genuinely dont mean any offense by this ask. DID/OSDD is also something i'm very interested in and passionate about as an autistic individual, so... im very sorry for the essay

THIS IS SO HELPFUL U HAVE NO IDEA. I KNOW NEXT 2 NOTHING ABT PLURALITY AND SYSTEMS. dont apologize 4 the rambling, its much appreciated!!! i get the same way abt bpd and autism so i get it!!! psychology and mental disorders r one of my special interests so im the same way!!! ^_^

i guess my post moreso came from the concern that i only have vry vry spotty, fuzzy, sometimes FAKE memories of my childhood, if any at all (id say i remember less than 1% of it, and most of what i "remember" is only becuz of photo evidence or testimony from other ppl) and my identity only rlly formed when i joined the internet at maybe 12 yrs old. so i sometimes have doubts that i formed when the body was born, but rather that i was created and that im a product of the internet inparticular, but that might also be a delusion??? its confusing, whenever i get ideas abt my identity they turn out 2 be fake sometimes. its hard 2 pinpoint what i am. so i was trying 2 say that i dont think ive been here since the birth of the body and that i spawned later on. idk if im explaining myself correctly, its hard 4 me 2 understand. but i appreciate u correcting me and explaining it 2 me in a way thats easy 4 me 2 digest!!! i dont want 2 spread misinfo evr.

i think im plural??? ive had liek 8 headmates (and a headspace at one point) that ive been able 2 identify, but nobodys rlly taken me srsly abt it until vry vry recently. ive always been told that im making it up 4 attention, or that im faking DID, and i was even told by a dumbass doctor that it was just my autism and that they were all imaginary. i nvr rlly claimed 2 be plural either, i always just got shot down whenevr i introduced the possibility of there being other sentient ppl in my brain. but i think that i am, probably. im not sticking 2 any labels atm becuz im confused and uneducated abt my headmates and im not diagnosed w anything, but i feel comfy with plural as a label becuz its a vague umbrella term. i nevr claimed 2 have DID becuz ive always known that my headmates cant front and take over my body (ive even asked one and she told me she couldnt LOL) ALTHOUGH. they MIGHT be able 2 front simultaneously as me, ive had edgy (whos currently dormant) finish art 4 me if i got tired, back in 2020 when he was still active. and i know alters fronting is a diagnostic requirement for DID (i think???) but i dunno. theres SOMETHING up w my brain.

i tried 2 post abt it on twitter actually, that i thought i was plural (a handful of ppl asked me so i wanted 2 confirm) but i deleted the post like an hour later becuz i wasnt getting any comments or likes and i was scared that i did something wrong and didnt know, or that im not actually plural and other plural ppl were mad at me 4 using their label. it made me so anxious >n<

i am such a yapper.. 4give me

[4dkellysworld]

hi! Im not sure if you've answered any questions similar to this but something really traumatic happened to me , it literally feels unreal but at the same time causing me so much pain bc its real. I have been "trying" to revise this whole event for almost two months now. I have tried everything from not reacting to the 3d to dropping the vanessa but it probably doesnt work because a part of me is still hoping to get some justice or closure. My parents didnt support me at all and have only added to my pain by shaming and blaming me for whatever happened, calling me names, and defending the predator. Im literally at my lowest rn and need a change asap otherwise idk how i am going to survive this hell hole. Would really appreciate your input on this,tysm!

Hey love, I'm sorry that happened to you. I get where you're coming from, I (Vanessa) had to deal with something similar (although you haven't explicitly mentioned what it is, I get the gist) and simply ignoring it didn't help at all. I'll share what helped me let it go for good. The end goal is to not identify with it, but the ways there are many. If you're struggling and seeing it as real, ignoring it is just going to keep it alive through resistance and this path isn't about spiritual bypass at all.

When you do these steps, I want you to keep in mind that everything else is irrelevant except your own perspective (thoughts, feelings, viewpoint etc) within your mind about everything and that's what we're working to change through these steps. So don't bring anything into consideration like your parents or the predator, this is all about giving yourself freedom from what's been haunting you.

First, rest and give some TLC to your body & nervous system, you can do it any way that you like, yin yoga, yoga nidra, breathing exercises, calming rituals etc. After trauma, the nervous system can get stuck in fight or flight which is just a manifestation of feeling threatened and unsafe. If you can sense this at all, then in addition to these exercises, consider doing this as well: "you can do a practice where you allow yourself to feel safe and know that you are safe (you can think of it as giving yourself safety and security if it helps). You can do it however it feels good to you: imagination, thoughts, affirmations, meditation - whatever feels good. See yourself having safety and security. Do it for as long as you want until you feel okay." //This is from an old answer I gave previously

Second, I want you to release all the emotions (including fear) you have about the event. I'm not asking you to relive the memory, but the first piece of freedom comes from just releasing all the pent up emotions you have about it. Take your time with this and be gentle and patient. I have a guide here of how I normally do it but it's just one example of how this can be done, you can do it any way that helps you although I find releasing to be the most direct way.

Third, start to gently detach from all association with the trauma without any pressure or force (this should be easier after you release the initial emotions). As much as it was traumatic and painful, now it only exists in the mind, it's not a present threat you have to deal with (I found this thought comforting when I was releasing it). You don't have to go straight to not owning it at all but start to slowly detach and distance yourself from it - not by pushing it away but by loosening your grip on it and remind yourself you are not defined by this if you choose not to let it define you. You're still here now.

Warning: I need to put a disclaimer here of sorts, what I did below was accessible to me and it didn't cause any retraumatization and I think it was possible because by that point I had understood on a deep level that it was all in my mind and that's the level I was working to change, I wasn't dealing with something objectively real in front of me. You know yourself best, if it's a possibility that you'll be triggered by the next step and you think it will set you back then I highly recommend you see a professional (a good hypnotherapist would be perfect for this) for this part.

Fourth, this is where it gets to the heart of the situation, we're going into the mind to do a memory rewrite. The gist of this technique (I like to call it mental alchemy lol) is the same as what I wrote here. Essentially what I did was I meditated for a bit to clear and calm the mind as well as relax the body, then I went back to the memory where it happened as though I was actually travelling back in time to an old dream, but basically to the moment before it happened and saw it play out where things went normally and nothing in particular happened and I viewed it all neutrally as a separate uninvolved observer outside Vanessa. Sometimes I'd switch viewpoints into being Vanessa and feel what she felt during this normal event, so basically just feeling neutral. I did this multiple times until I could go back to this memory and view it without feeling anything and I viewed this memory as objectively "canon", as what actually happened - everything else was irrelevant. If you can't do this, then instead of that I want you to imagine you have a magical eraser that erases anything you want and then use it to visually (and actually) scrub and erase the predator (and anything else that's triggering) from your mind. While you're doing this step, if any negative emotions come up, do the release exercise from step 2 as they come up then keep going (or take breaks, that's fine too). Just do the step over and over until you genuinely don't feel anything towards the event or predator, until you see them as unreal and irrelevant, not worth bothering with, until you feel free from it.

The point is to transmute and neutralize all negative emotions and traumatic energy & thoughts surrounding the event then rewrite the narrative however you want. Remember you're not trying to change anything that's objectively real (so don't see it as having to change some event), but what's within your mind so let this be the focus and make everything else irrelevant. When you do these practices, truly see it as what you're imagining is actually happening, you really ARE erasing and rewriting it, don't care about externals at all - it's irrelevant. This is essentially what hypnotherapy can do as well, it's easier to revisit traumatic memories when you're under hypnosis. I recommend meditating a bit for this and relaxing, maybe even let the mind become a little hazy like it does when you're drowsy as this will make it feel more dreamlike and less triggering.

Fifth, recognise that every dream character is only acting out according to their own conditioning and programming and it's not actually personal even though it appears so to the ego/Vanessa. Dismantle any importance you've placed on their actions or opinions over what happened any way you can by changing your perspective on them, basically get to a point where you see them as uninvolved and irrelevant. The point is to mentally detach from all the other involved characters and no longer put any weight or meaning in them over you, to no longer care about their opinions or allow yourself to be kept bondage by their thoughts and actions about you. Like so what, they don't get to decide who or what you are, only you do. If you find yourself caring and getting emotional again over them or what happened, just release again and repeat whichever steps are relevant to detach. Get to a point where you feel neutral and indifferent about it all and can ignore anything contradictory while being unaffected if it pops up (either externally or mentally).

Just keep doing it until you no longer need to. Take your time with each step, don't rush and do it genuinely. Feel free to keep it fluid too, you don't have to follow the order strictly.

Edit: bonus step but after all that (and only after you've done all the above steps fully first), if it feels right or you want to do this, then erase the predator's entire existence from your mind and see it as objectively real. See that they were never part of your world. Even if externals don't follow, doesn't matter because you've decided this and that's what's true and anything that appears otherwise is just an illusion and therefore irrelevant.

In all of this, the attitude is not to try to get rid of or fix something that is "wrong". Apply lots of love, kindness, compassion, understanding and patience. Don't fight the dream - the more you resist, the more it persists but what you look at and accept is given the opportunity to be released and dissolved. Accept everything and see them as neutral, even the parts that you don't prefer. Allow everything to be as it is. Then allow yourself to change your mind and think differently in ways that you prefer, without trying to make anything happen in the world. As Neville said "Indifference is the knife that severs. Feeling is the tie that binds." Patience is key. Drop all expectations. Just focus on your state of consciousness, instead of getting things in the world. Don't look to the world for what is within.

[theflyindutchwoman]

No sense in arguing about it. But we're so good at arguing. I know. But I'm hoping that we're good at certain other things, as well. Oh? Want to find out right now? Yeah.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.12 - Death Notice

Sometimes I wonder whether this scene is real or not… I just love it so much. It's serious, it's tender, it's playful… it's sizzling. It has some of the same intimate vibes as their very first kiss, with all the dim lights and candles everywhere, while still having its own flavor. Its own identity. Like the fact that they're in the kitchen this time, with Lucy preparing dinner for them. And the domestic feels in this… Cooking is one of her love languages, her way of showing how much she cares. There was already a hint of that when she sent food to Tim during his recovery after the events at the quarantine house. And we saw her cooking for Tamara, for Angela… or for her parents to celebrate her graduation (and I'm still salty about that one). This is something that she clearly has in common with Tim, judging by the way he looks so happy while making pancakes for her or how they apparently enjoy watching cooking shows together. It's their thing and it's so nice that they finally have someone with whom they can share this… Someone who can fully appreciate it.

All this romantic ambiance doesn't prevent Lucy from still talking about the job though, and more specifically her hypothetical transfer. She wants to get that out of the way before taking that next step and she's right. She is prodding a bit, asking Tim for his input since he has yet to explicitly endorse her plan. And she has to sense that he has been deflecting a bit, delaying the decision. For good reason, of course. The way he looks so at peace with his choice when he admits that he has already asked for his transfer so she wouldn't have to leave versus how upset and distressed she is by this… The softness in his voice when he says 'that doesn't matter' when she worries about him not liking his new job… There's this thing Eric does with his voice here that is amazing. I don't know if he was sick when they filmed that scene, his voice sounds slightly different somehow, huskier… And it fits the mood so well.

But that aside, it's not like her worries are entirely baseless either. Lucy understands exactly the sacrifice he's making because she knows how much he loves patrol and the action. And this is the kind of decision that could eventually lead to resentment. At the same time, this is Tim : he knows what he is doing. It's not the first time he had to consider doing a similar thing. Only, now, he has found someone who is worth the effort. Who is worth more than his job. So it's a trade off he is willing to make without hesitation. He raises another good point : a transfer for her would most likely mean that she would have to prove herself again. It might not be a demotion per se, but she would have to pay her dues again. Besides, he has to know that this is merely temporary : he just needs to wait for a better position to open up. Whereas changing stations would be a more permanent option and would prevent them from working or spending time together at work. There's such a romantic quality in the fact that he wants to spend as much time as possible with her, even if it's just for a few minutes here and there… Honestly, the way these two always light up when they see the other at the station is so incredibly soft.

'No sense in arguing about it' - 'But we're so good at arguing' This exchange is simply perfect… It's inherently them. What started as real arguments slowly evolved into this form of flirting for them. It lost its edge and blossomed into this playfulness and teasing they have mastered a long time ago… It was their way of showing how much they cared. So it's nice to see them acknowledge it and recognise that they enjoy doing it. Even more so considering how much Lucy used to avoid arguing with Chris, because deep down, it wasn't worth it. This really underlines the difference. And her tone, her smile when she admits enjoying arguing with him… That kiss… Tim standing up… Her hand lingering… And his flirting… He's come so far from 'naked times', he's getting smoother. The little tilt of her head, teasing him… And his grin! With all the laughing lines so visible… Their little swaying… His little 'yeah', barely audible, just for them… Her big smile… How she doesn't waste any more time and takes off his shirt, one with snap buttons because he came prepared… The man understood the assignment! The way she slightly leans away from him so she can check him out (shamelessly) while he's trying to lean forward, not wanting to stop that kiss or to be so far from her… Their forehead touching… The way he gets rid of his shirt… Her freaking smile… Their hands! The way he cradles her head… Her hands roaming all over his body… Her little giggles… His hand behind her head when they hit the wall, to ensure she doesn't hurt herself… The detail of her hair against the closed door… Speaking of. 'I opened the door for you'… The imagery of opened doors since their feelings have been out, has been so strong… Well, this time, Tim gets to close it. It's really just a detail, but so symbolic.

This is the beginning of a new era for them… And what makes me so happy is how Lucy and Tim are staying true to themselves. It's really about adding another element to their relationship, not changing it.

[nickeverdeen]

Heeyy sweetie <3

I saw you were doing matchups, and i thought that was so fking nice and wanted to try too. I wanted to try with Arcane and Umbrella Academy.

My name's Meli, and I'm pansexual without any preference. I'm an introvert, and most of the time quiet unless I really trust someone. I had some trust issues, so, it does take me a lot to trust someone. I'm creative (or at least that I a been told), the mother like friend, and an overthinker. Most of the times I wear headphones because I have social anxiety and tend to get overwhelmed with loud noises very easily. I am very sarcastic and have a dark sense of humour and I curse a lot in Spanish (that's my first language,) and English. I'm also a people pleaser, and I just put everyone above me not matter what. I'm an observer and a very empathetic person. Most of the times, i match the other person's emotions without noticing, or if I not e they aren't feeling okay, I do try to make them feel better with subtle things (or at least I try to)

I love to write and read. I have many hobbies, like playing guitar, drawing, painting, sewing and cooking, among other stuffs. I mostly read thriller but I end up reading about everything tbh. I LOVE true crime, and that's why I ended up watching everytime I end up in YouTube.

I hate conflict (mostly angry yelling) loud noises (I said that before, but well), and people who just don't care about other people's emotions.

Feel free to not do this and take your time <3 I'm so sorry if any of this doesn't make sense, my English kinda sucks tbh.

PS: I’m absolutely loving the petname for me

——————————

Your Arcane match is…

Viktor

Viktor would appreciate your quiet nature and find comfort in your presence

You’d both enjoy sitting in comfortable silence while working on your respective projects

He’d be fascinated by your creativity, often asking for your input on his inventions or sharing ideas with you, knowing that your perspective would add depth to his work

Viktor would understand your trust issues and never rush you

He’d be patient, allowing you to open up at your own pace, and when you finally do, he’d cherish that trust deeply

He’d find your dark sense of humor refreshing, often joining in with his own dry wit

Your shared sarcasm would create an unspoken bond between you two

Viktor would be very mindful of your social anxiety and sensitivity to loud noises, ensuring that your environment is as calm and quiet as possible when you’re together

Your ability to empathize with others would resonate with Viktor, who often carries the weight of the world on his shoulders

He’d find solace in your understanding and support

As an observer, you’d notice the subtle ways Viktor cares for others, even when he doesn’t say much

You both would enjoy late-night discussions about science, philosophy, and the intricacies of the human mind, often losing track of time in your conversations

Viktor would appreciate the subtle ways you try to make him feel better, like bringing him a cup of tea when he’s stressed or offering a gentle touch when words aren’t enough

Your love for reading and writing would match well with Viktor’s intellectual nature

Viktor isn’t one for grand displays of affection, but he’d show his care for you in small, meaningful ways—like fixing your headphones when they break or leaving you notes in your native language

Viktor would be intrigued by your love for true crime, occasionally joining you in watching documentaries or discussing interesting cases

Viktor would gently encourage you to prioritize your own needs, reminding you that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes, even if it’s hard for you to do so

He’d be a steady, supportive presence in your life, always there to listen or offer advice when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

Viktor would surprise you with small, handmade gifts that show how much he values your creativity and the unique bond you share

Your The Umbrella Academy match is…

Five Hargreeves

Five would absolutely love your sarcasm and dark humor

The two of you would engage in quick-witted banter that would leave everyone else around you struggling to keep up

Despite his tough exterior, Five would be incredibly protective of you, especially when he realizes how much you put others above yourself

He’d be the first to step in if someone tries to take advantage of your people-pleasing nature

Five would be drawn to your intelligence and creativity, often seeking your opinion on complex matters

Five understands what it’s like to have trust issues, and he’d be patient with you, giving you the time and space you need to feel comfortable around him

Five would appreciate your quiet nature, often just sitting in silence with you, finding peace in the moments where neither of you feels the need to fill the space with words

Your shared dark humor would lead to inside jokes that only the two of you understand, often leaving others puzzled or slightly alarmed by your conversations

Though Five doesn’t always show it, he’s deeply empathetic

He’d notice when you’re matching his emotions and would appreciate your efforts to make him feel better, even if he doesn’t always say it outright

Five would respect your need for personal space and quiet, never pushing you to engage more than you’re comfortable with

He’d also ensure that your time together is never too overwhelming

Five would be intrigued by your love for true crime and thrillers, often joining you in binge-watching documentaries or discussing the psychology behind criminal behavior

Five isn’t big on traditional romance, but he’d show his affection in subtle ways, like making sure you have your favorite snack or fixing something in your house without asking

You both would bond over your love for books, often exchanging recommendations and discussing your favorite plots or character developments

When you’re feeling down, Five would use his sarcasm to lift your spirits, knowing exactly how to make you smile with a well-timed, snarky comment

Five would deeply respect your ability to observe and understand others, recognizing how valuable that skill is, especially in tense situations

Five would be there for you during moments of social anxiety, quietly offering his presence as a grounding force, never making you feel pressured to interact more than you want to

The two of you would have dark comedy nights where you watch the most twisted movies and shows, laughing at the absurdity while enjoying each other’s company

———————

Tag List: @callsignwidow

[antimony-medusa]

Hi! To preface: I don't think there's any one right or wrong answer to my question necessarily, but I value your opinion as a level-headed adult in this fandom who can probably provide sensible input on the issue I'm having, so I thought I'd ask.

If a CC asks for their character not to be drawn (specifically referring to fanart, which they likely saw on Twitter) in a sexualised way, what does that mean for written fanwork content? Is it "wrong" (putting this in quotation marks since that's a loaded word, to say the least) to write nsfw content about said character and post it on Ao3, considering the differences in visibility/CC knowledge of those platforms, as well as the general consensus/expectation that CCs don't generally read fanfic anyway? Where is the line between "you should respect the CC's wishes" (avoiding the word "boundaries" since that's also very loaded in mcyt spaces) and "you can do whatever you want forever; fanworks are created by and for fans, not for the creators" drawn? Does "just don't put it where they can see unless they go looking" (i.e. correctly tagged on Ao3, not on a CC-frequented site like Twitter) apply? Would it be better not to do it at all, or only create and share said content in private spaces like Discord? Or is this all a "there is no single 'morally correct' answer, make your own personal judgement" thing?

(Sorry for the long-winded question but this is genuinely something I'm struggling with right now, lol. As I said I value and respect your opinion and views about these kinds of things in fandom, so if you have anything to say on the matter I'd appreciate your input!)

Alright so, obligatory warning for discourse on this one right at the top, and possibly also long post. These tend to be me rambling.

This is a situation that I think it's fair that a lot of people disagree. Your personal comfort level with making NSFW content in general is not where my comfort level is, we can come to totally different equilibriums. And then you add in creators expressing that they don't like seeing NSFW content of their characters, and people end up in a whole lot of different places, whether that's a complete no on shipping or NSFW, or people feeling fine to consume it but not create it, or only if it's archive locked, or only specific ships or smps, or whatever. I think it's fine that we don't all agree on this, creation is a fickle beast and we are in a weird place as a fandom of being not rpf but kinda cousins, and we can get *really* close to the creators with twitch and twitter, so people's comfort level in meshing all the parasociality and roleplay and real life of it all can end up in a lot of different places.

I just think that the most important thing for the fandom being a healthy place to spend time on the internet is that we don't go aroud sending hate/abuse to those we disagree with. a) i don't agree with internet mobs or suicide baiting or anon hate in general, b) the number of times I have seen internet games of telephone happen when it comes to this subject is unreal. To use an example from literally today, I saw someone saying that Pac of qsmp pacmike was uncomfortable with shipping art and fic and we all should stop shipping immediately, and once I tracked it back to its source, it turns out that what had happened was the creator said that he wasn't a fan that all the art was of him in the jumpsuit that used to be his skin, he has a new skin now, which turned into sexy jumpsuit art was the problem, which turned into pac hates all sexy fan art, which turned into "pac is being bombarded with nsfw art and shipping and he hates it". Now he might actually also not like NSFW art, but that's not actually what he was adressing, but it was certainly what was being circulated! So like, people warning me off of certain subjects— how do I know that they're actually accurate or if twitter just went twitter on a passing mention of something someone said on a twitch stream?

So I think it's way way way healthier for us as a fandom to sometimes disagree on the subject of "what we're drawing/writing about" and when that happens we implement Don't Like; Don't Read, and we just ignore that, or block if necessary. Don't Want To See it? Simply Don't See It. It's a bad idea to start hate campaigns for sinners, and half the time it's based on bad information anyways.

But in cases that you do know that the creator doesn't want to see that, you found an accurate clip? So this is a case where I think that there's no single moral answer to this that everyone is gonna agree on. We're all coming at it from too many different cultural backgrounds and different streamers in mind and comfort levels with NSFW in general. I don't think there is a firm answer that is gonna make you morally safe. But my personal feelings is that in cases where we know the creators doesn't want to see that, I think the important part there is that the creator never sees that, not that we stamp it off the internet entirely.

I do think, personally, ymmv, that you are not necessarily doing anything morally wrong with drawing or writing NSFW of someone's character, even if they think it's weird. There's a long history of creators saying "you can't do [this] with my characters," and it happens to be you can't [make them gay] enough to make me uncomfortable in general principle with saying creator of the character gets to call the shots in all settings forever. This happened with Anne Rice and with the supernatural fandom and like— it's the internet, we get to make the characters be gay together. This is the making sex jokes about fictional characters website, and Ao3 is the making porn about fictional characters website. I think it's fine if it exists on the internet, the question comes down to one of what we're forcing the creator to see, or what we're putting where they'll stumble upon it. Like, examples from real life— if you have a friend who's vegan, it's polite to not spend time rhapsodizing about how good meat is around them, and if you know that meat makes them sick, it's polite to do a meatless meal around them. That's a human person you want to be okay around you. But that's their boundary for their life, not yours, so even when you're being polite you have no obligation to go vegan when they're not around. And they have a politeness obligation to not walk into a steakhouse and freak out because there's meat there. They have a boundary for their life, and I'm going to respect it, but my life is a different story, and they need to take reasonable steps to protect their boundaries and not just expect everyone else to conform to them.

Or walking by someone on the street and waiting till they're out of earshot and then going "jesus christ that guy was hot" to your friends— that's fine. That's normal human behaviour. What becomes rude is when you make it hot guy's problem and yell at him. Being attracted to someone in your own space is not a problem. I'm aroace, I am not going to be in a relationship with anyone. I'm not going to ban having crushes on me, as long as you don't make it my business. Talking about an attractive person in your own space is not a problem. Being sexual in your own space— and again we are talking about fictional characters, the way I see it, these are lies we're telling about folks that are not real, who live in little minecraft worlds— that's fine. The problem is if we start catcalling people about it.

When you walk into fandom spaces you are walking into a space where we all like taking fictional guys and telling stories about them and a good portion of those stories are going to include kissing. That is not necessarily baseline normal for like, all of humanity, but people talk about tv shows they watch as one of the classic work small talk techniques. Fandom takes the "I hope ted gets together with jessica" "no he needs to work on himself first" discussion and writes stories, is all, to share with each other. Privately. On our special private website where there's a button you can click to hide your work from search engines and another one to hide it from logged-out users. If you log into the website and search things up, no tags blocked, what you find is on you for saying "I will see literally anything that exists on this subject in a space meant for literally anything". You will find gore. You will find kissing. You literally just opted in to seeing it. That's on you.

So like, there's my little defense of nsfw work existing in general, I think it existing is not a problem. I do think that we should keep it FAR AWAY from streamers. They get to set the rules for their spaces, and if someone doesn't want to see sexualized fan art, I do think we should make sure that in a reasonable way, they never have to see sexualized fan art/fic.

So like me personally, I'm going to hit that Ao3 button to hide my work from search engines, and anything NSFW (or shippy, depending on the person) is not going to go into the main tags on tumblr or twitter or anywhere I'm aware that the creators ever check that tag, and I'd probably archive lock it if the creator had publically mentioned being uncomfortable with it, and if I was regularly posting NSFW I'd block the creators on social media with any account I discuss NSFW with. I want to make sure that I am talking to my friends about the cubitos, not catcalling someone.

And I would probably err on the side of caution when it comes to social media sites that creators are on? Okay so the fandom has a habit of saying that NSFW and Shipping is BAD and can't exist, on the one hand, but on the other hand it says that anything that isn't Bad Wrong Shipping/Explicit NSFW is fine, which leads to like— extremely sexy thirst trap art being drawn and then the creators are tagged. People putting family dynamic fics that really pushes that envelope in the main tag. Gahhhhhh????? No? Don't do that?

I think it would be healthier in the fandom if we did a lot more going "this is for the fandom, not the creator" and we don't tag creators on twitter, and we took our little kissing fics, or gore, or kidfic, or neurodiverse headcanons, or anything else it might be not for the creator to see, and we kept it in fandom spaces and away from creators. But Ao3 is that fandom space that you have to opt into, it's literally archive of our Own, for fans, in that space as long as you tag it you're good.

So the TL;DR of this all is that my opinion is that if you tag it correctly on Ao3 you're fine. Maybe archive lock it. Keep it off twitter. Don't make it the streamer's problem, and you're good.

[roo-bastmoon]

After having a long think...

Even though I keep saying I'm going to go rest and stop obsessing about this, I guess I can't. I just suck at sitting still and being chill. My thoughts are under the cut out of respect for folks in the tags who don't want to engage in any drama around Seven.

Here is a list of all the push for Seven that has been noticed in the first two days (the thread is currently 30-posts deep but please do take a look):

Note: I haven't vetted any of those comments. I just scrolled through them and felt so overwhelmed. It just doesn't look good, but I bow to any industry experts who have real data and experience.

Update: Artie has a good post here about Jimin's debut numbers and playlists. Also here about how Seven being promoted to radio isn't necessarily proof that it was payola and they have the numbers from credible sources to back that possibility up:

I'm just going to come right out and say it: I find payola dishonorable. It's not just advertising; it's basically bribes. And ads should never replace real people's streams.

I deeply respected that BTS and ARMY found such success without that stuff. It used to be about passionate artists, making their own music, which resonated with real people, who worked hard to promote it. It was about mutual respect.

JK's numbers don't look completely organic to me, but I don't think he had a hand in that.

I have such serious misgivings if this the direction Hybe is going in for JJK1, and have no clue how the group survives if the company picks and chooses their favorites for that kind of push. If this is the strategy for all BTS projects now, I have no idea how they can afford it. I'd really appreciate if they could come to us and try to explain how it could ever be on the up-and-up because I don't think it can.

I confess I will not be working hard at all for anything that seems inorganic. This project just looks like Scooter weaponizing Jungkook to win a dick-measuring contest with Taylor and others. I hate it.

That said, I've always been very clear that Jimin is my guide.

Jimin adores Jungkook. Jimin is working with and hanging out with Jungkook even as I type this. Jimin is choosing for now to stay with Hybe. Jimin is flying all over the world on Hybe's time and dime to work on even more projects. Jimin has more music to share with us, that Hybe is investing in. Jimin seems happy for the most part.

I will support Jimin and never move against the people Jimin loves.

I trust Jimin and give the benefit of the doubt to the people Jimin trusts.

When planning his first album, I do not believe that Jimin was told about decisions to split tracks, or skip play-listings, or what would get restocked, or if they'd buy ads for smoother streams on YouTube and Spotify or not, or what kind of articles would be written about him.

I believe Jimin had plenty of input on the design, look, feel, sound, tracks, cast, choreo, performances--all the creative aspects of his album. I think he was able to say what he needed to say and get Letter hidden on his album for Jungkook. But I don't think he was roped into strategic plans and profit and loss statements and marketing roll-outs in any great detail. I arrive at this idea based on my own experience in the entertainment industry--I could be wrong.

And so I think the same for Jungkook. I think Jungkook had input on some of the creative aspects of this single (and likely had suspicions of what working under Hybe America and Scooter might entail). I have no idea the conversations and pressures he faced around this topic, or if he simply trusted Bang PD to handle it. I don't know what all he talked about with Jimin and the hyungs.

I do know there was a time this year when he came to us on lives deeply depressed and almost lost, despondent. I know there was a group dinner where many things were discussed. And then there were many times he came to us on lives, inspired by and enamored with Jimin, memorizing and hyping up his work with such pure adoration, even as their own company refused to even mention Jimin's successes.

So I ask myself: does Jeon Jungkook really have it in him to steal Jimin's ideas or push himself out ahead of his hyungs, embracing unequal treatment and unfair advantages, just so he can be the one to make it big in the West?

And in looking for that answer, I'm reminded of this clip:

No. I don't think that's who Jeon Jungkook is. At least, it isn't the Jeon Jungkook I knew.

I am sad to say I think that is exactly who Scooter Braun is and who Bang PD has become. That is what the company would do. But not our Jungkook. Not unless everyone in the group was on board with it, somehow.

Jimin is standing by Jungkook. So I am standing by Jungkook--as a person.

But I've bought Seven once and I've added it to my night playlist and that's all the moves I'm making on that project. I will not be setting alarms to vote or using extra accounts to buy or hash-tagging anything, nor getting any merch, nor requesting local spins, none of that. It's a catchy song but as the thread I linked to above shows, it is a guaranteed "success" even without me. So I'm using my energy to support Jimin and other BTS projects that resonate with me and need me.

My stance on this might offend you, and I respect your feelings. I do not identify as a solo or anti. I still think of myself as aJimin-biased Jikooker who loves the members. I am probably toeing the line of being a manti, as I feel this company has broken faith with me. Not the creative or administrative staff, but the executives. I feel like they've ended our ten-year legacy in shame.

If it gets much worse, I may just dip out of the fandom after Jimin goes into service. I don't know. Probably I will have to see how things work out for the other solo works and plans for the group for 2025. At the moment, I have far bigger things to worry about, like colitis.

I can't lie, what I've seen so far with this rollout really shocked me, gave me a bit of an identity crisis, as ARMY. I don't want to assume the worst; neither do I want to bury my head in the sand for the sake of my ship or my favorite songs.

I will always act in accordance with my own conscience, based on the limited information I have. If I get better information, I will of course update my viewpoints. If at any point that causes anyone who is friended with me distress, I will understand completely if we need to part ways. I never, EVER wish to cause anyone harm.

But I'm too sick to argue and debate too much, too long. Boraland was supposed to be a place to unwind and feel inspired, not get more stressed. These past few 1.5 years months as ARMY has been exhausting in every sense of the word. So I'm choosing to put my energy into the things that bring some joy in my life.

I'm choosing to trust and follow Jimin's lead, for now.

[mahounomanga]

Plans for Mahou no Manga in 2025

Hi everyone! Happy belated New Year. I wanted to share a peek under the hood at my plans for this blog going forward.

2024 was, let's say, a difficult year for me, and as such, manga reviews have slowed to a crawl. This doesn't necessarily mean they've stopped for good though. As I confirmed in a recent ask, Nico in Fairyland is still planned as the next magical girl manga to get its' own post. I'm already eyeballing a tentative 2020s manga to post about after that, and then I'm potentially wanting to return to some of the oldest entries in the genre that slipped through my fingers the first time around, as well as ones from the 1990s and 2000s that got official English releases (which may or may not involve buying physical copies).

The caveat of course is that all of this will take time, and much of it may not even happen by the end of this calendar year. I would ideally like to keep this blog predominantly magical girl focused however, and am mulling over less research-intensive ways to do that. One of the reasons I selected manga as the primary medium for this blog to examine is it seems an underrepresented facet of the magical girl genre (not counting source material for popular anime works). One other side of magical girl media I think doesn't get enough attention is live action productions. The most well-known ones tend to be the Toei Fushigi Comedy heroines, the Girls x Heroine series, and live action adaptations of popular magical girls like Cutie Honey and Sailor Moon. To that end, I was considering making posts spotlighting other entries in the genre by essentially liveblogging and reviewing just the first installment of a given series.

This method could even work with other magical girl media; it doesn't necessarily have to be obscure. I could watch/read and react to animated magical girls, magical girl indie comics, and even magical girl manga that don't otherwise meet the criteria for the blog, all of this as determined by recommendations from readers such as yourself.

I would also like to point out that more of Super Rose has been fanslated into English since my original post about the series, and as such, I was considering the possibility of making a part 2. She is my icon after all, and as the oldest magical girl series of any kind that I know of, I think she deserves the attention.

One other particularly ambitious project I was considering undertaking this year is compiling a list of magical girl manga I know of that initially met my criteria for inclusion in the blog, which I would ideally post in the latter half of this year to help indicate what is and isn't on my radar.

The upshot is, I have a lot of ideas for what I want to post here, but I'm hoping to get some input to help determine what I should prioritize. Please reach out in the notes of this post, or by sending me an ask to indicate what you would like to see on Mahou no Manga.

Thank you so much for your continued support these past few years. The likes, reblogs, asks, and more are always really encouraging. I genuinely appreciate all of my followers, and I hope that 2025 exceeds all of our expectations in the best possible way. ♡

[vacate-et-scire]

So, this is for your match-up event. Personality: I’m an Istp 8w7. Most people I know describe me as pretty funny and a cool person to be around. I’m pretty talkative and energetic with people I know well. Also I asked someone and they said they think I put people above myself and I’m pretty kind. I guess I’m also kind of awkward and such. For more negative traits I’d say I’m pretty aggressive, self-centred, impatient, judgmental, and kind of quick to blame others when it might be my fault. Also I’d say I’m not easily intimidated by eye contact. Interests: Reading, Shopping, Going to the Movies, WICKED, Music, Media Arts (like making films), and Photography. Type of partner I like: Honestly I think more or less anyone from blue lock is cool. Except Isagi. He’s super annoying. No explanation needed. Okay I think that’s all. Thanks.

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Reo Mikage

Given your bold, energetic personality and mix of kindness and aggression, Reo would be a perfect match for you. He’s got the charm, drive, and self-assuredness to keep up with your energy while also handling the more challenging aspects of your character, like impatience and occasional self-centredness.

Reo’s dynamic personality aligns well with yours. He’s charismatic and confidence. He knows what he wants, and he goes after it—whether that’s winning on the field or impressing someone like you. His ambitious nature would pair nicely with your assertiveness and self-reliance, which means there wouldn’t be much of a power struggle between you two. Instead, it would be a relationship of mutual respect, where both of you stand firm in your own beliefs and push each other to be better.

Your kindness and ability to put others first would resonate deeply with Reo. Despite his polished, almost arrogant exterior, Reo has a deep appreciation for loyalty and care. He’s not the type to take that for granted. He’d admire the way you put people above yourself—especially since, on some level, he struggles with trusting others and tends to rely heavily on his own strength. Reo would likely find comfort in your loyalty.

Your more challenging traits would also need a bit of work, but Reo is up for it. Your aggression and tendency to blame others when it might be your fault could spark tension between you two, but Reo’s cleverness and ability to read situations would help him navigate these moments. He wouldn’t shy away from calling you out when you’re in the wrong, but he’d do it in a way that challenges you to reflect without making you feel attacked. His calm but confident demeanour would serve as a counterbalance to your impatience, helping you both grow.

He might not share your exact interests, but he would love seeing you passionate about your creativity. He’d be the type to take you out to see a movie, support your photography projects, and maybe even suggest creative ideas for films or photo shoots. Reo has an eye for detail and elegance, so he’d probably try to give his own input, though it might come off as a little bossy. Expect him to spoil you with the best camera equipment or movie tickets for an exclusive event.

However, his overconfidence could sometimes rub you the wrong way. He’s used to getting what he wants, and his sometimes entitled attitude might clash with your more grounded, no-nonsense side. If he gets too pushy or self-centred, it’s possible that your quick temper could flare up. But if anyone can handle those moments, it’s Reo—he's used to navigating tense situations with ease, and he'd be more than capable of addressing your frustrations without escalating things.

He would appreciate your strength and loyalty, and you’d respect his ambitious nature. There might be some tension here and there due to your more impulsive traits, but it would never overshadow the intense bond you share. Reo would be the type to spoil you in ways you’d never expect, while supporting your passions and you.

[amadeusgame]

This month I've... accomplished a lot. It's difficult to communicate just how much, because a lot of the work is the kind that isn't exciting to talk about and doesn't look like much... but it is a lot, and it needed to get done. The narrative work I did this month in particular has helped me prepare to finish the full 5-episode saga, not just a new demo or the first episode.

Speaking of the new demo. I originally planned to release it by the end of this year, but it's looking like that was optimistic, considering how much I'm adding from the original demo. New goal is to have it ready for private playtesting by the end of this year, and released publicly early in 2024. Next month I'll confirm if we're still on track for that!

If you'd like sooner updates, or are interested in playtesting, you are welcome to join the Discord server.

Other resources here, including the new website. Now to the devlog!

Highlights for this month:

Updated Mechanics Implemented: I have built a test scene to triage the new mechanics I've built, and functionality is now at the point where I can start rebuilding the demo with them. I am working with playtesters to identify and iron out bugs as I do so.

Finalized Narrative + Art Direction: I have determined which art assets will be inked, and which will remain in pencil. Part of this decision involved making a lot of overarching narrative and thematic details concrete, so while I don't have much to show for it at the moment, it will really pay off when the later episodes release.

Project Management: I now have a part-time job (unrelated to games), and have spent this past month re-learning how to manage my time and keep on track while also getting enough rest. Brief discussion of navigating this adjustment as a solo dev.

Marketing: This month, I really started thinking more about the kind of marketing *I* appreciate as an audience. I've shared social media posts from other indie dev projects - what is it about those posts that communicated to me I would like the games?

Recreation: media I engaged with this month!

Details below.

Updated Mechanics Implemented

I've made improvements, changes, and additions to several core mechanics so that they are flexible enough for me to build a complete game. This has been very complicated because most of the code I wrote for the old demo was very, very limited, and was held together with duct tape that could just barely handle what I built for the demo, and nothing beyond that. So my mission has been to purge the spaghetti and make my scripts able to actually do what I need them to for a more complete game.

It's very easy to get lost on where to start when approaching something like that, so I want to share an approach that really helped me: writing out the intended functionality in just English as comments first, and THEN figuring out how to script it. It's a way of "sketching" code to break down how it will work before getting into the weeds of proper syntax and functionality.

Some specifics on overhauled mechanics:

Movement - movement scripts can now handle things like an obstacle in the middle of the "walkable" area of the screen. There is polish to do but the core functionality is there and easier to iterate on. I've also added some tweaks that make it "smarter" about handling whether you're currently using point-and-click or WASD inputs.

Screen Transitions - this mechanic is MUCH more generalized now. It can handle as many entry/exit points from a screen as needed, so scene layouts can be much more varied. A downtown screen with multiple alleys each leading to different screens is possible now.

Point-and-Click - I made a lot of changes to the point-and-click movement scheme, many of which involved learning how coroutines work; unfortunately, it's still pretty buggy and rough-feeling. I think I made a mistake by trying to make my control scheme support two completely different types of inputs, because it has resulted in two half-polished movement schemes instead of one relatively polished one. However... I cannot bring myself to axe the point-and-click movement scheme, despite WASD currently being more reliable. So I'm going to move forward with the hybrid, and workshop it as I rebuild the demo. The good news is it is at the point where I can safely implement it without breaking anything (hopefully) while I continue to iterate on it. The better news is, even if it's unpolished, I think it makes the game feel very unique.

Menus - I figured out how to track "layering" the two menus (backlog, and settings screen) so it properly handles freezing/unfreezing movement if you open one on top of the other, and I made the placeholder menus/UI nicer looking. Also added audio volume controls.

Virtually everything in this image is just a placeholder, but it's a placeholder that feels much better than what I had before. Sketching this out on paper gave me a template to start building on.

I will be utilizing the "notebook" as a shortcut to view the text backlog, as well:

I have more work to do formatting the backlog, but it works, and a scroll-bar is automatically added once it exceeds the height of the backlog window.

Thanks to building this test scene, I've got all of my test scripts to a place where I feel confident rebuilding the demo with the new mechanics. There's a lot that needs to be tweaked and changed, but it's finally at the point where it feels like replacing the existing demo with the new mechanics is pretty much a clear upgrade. So I'm excited to get started on that!

Finalized Narrative + Art Direction

In October's devlog, I wrote that determining precisely which assets will be inked and which will remain in pencil was probably this month's most important project. I debated going with a practical approach (such as "ink all assets of this type: talk sprite, interactible, etc") - but I quickly realized that I would have more fun doing something cool with it instead. This turned it from an art direction problem to a narrative problem, which forced me to answer a LOT of questions for myself that I had been putting off until later, because most of these questions will not be unveiled within the scope of Episode 1. They weren't strictly needed to finish just Episode 1 originally; but they would be if Episode 1 were to include an art direction decision that is related to very late-game concepts.

The drawback to this is it took up a lot of time and energy that could have been spent focusing on Episode 1 and finishing the new demo faster and getting a release faster.

The (huge, in my opinion) benefit to this is that Episode 1 is going to be much more effective now, as there are so many things I can set up early on because I already know precisely where I'm going with them. I also just feel more prepared to continue this momentum over the next several years and write the entire narrative, not just the first segment of it. I think the overall experience will be better and more convincing, and that this was an effective use of my time.

I fully expect some things to evolve as I make the other episodes - my experience just in creating the demo has been that some parts of the game truly do write themselves - but I still think this was a very good use of my time this month. It's going to drive me nuts keeping everything I'm planning under wraps for the years until the reveals come, though.

(Which leads me to another very important thing I did this month: called a friend and spoiled literally everything I've been planning to them. I was drawing spoilery fanart of very late-game reveals and needed SOMEONE to spill all of the beans to. The friend in question is an author so they also acted as a very useful brainstorming/sounding board for certain themes I still wasn't sure where to go with... anyway, I cannot recommend this enough. Having just One Dedicated Spoiler Friend has been invaluable.)

Since I spent so much time on the brainstorming part of this, I don't have much to show for it at the moment. I've started inking some more assets, though. Here's Solea (not yet scanned/colored):

Project Management

If you don't read anything else in this section, take away the following: I now have part-time work to offer financial stability and life experience. My real job is developing Amadeus.

Adjusting to being outside of school was difficult, and adjusting to now having a part-time job has also been difficult. However, I am really lucky in that this job is pretty much perfect - it's completely unrelated to games (so ALL of my games and artistic energy can go to Amadeus, not to work), it's part time (so I have much more time to dedicate to Amadeus than I would if I was working full-time), and I like the people there. Thanks to this, I don't have to stress about my financials or a fruitless job hunt, and can focus all of my remaining time and energy to my own projects.

However, having limited free time - even if it's more than I would have if I worked full-time - means project management is even more essential than it was before. It's not just a matter of giving myself deadlines so I get things done, it's a matter of understanding what tasks I can actually accomplish on a given day/week without burning myself out. I find that inking assets is something I am willing to do a little at a time, in bed, before I sleep. Coding is something I'm more than happy to do on lunchbreaks and on my commute. Music composition, however, requires a solid 2-hour block of sitting at my desk with no distractions, and a completely free day afterwards just in case I hit a groove and happen to bang out an entire piece in one afternoon. Learning to work with my own tendencies and not against them is essential to actually getting things done.

One more benefit of my new job is I've learned how to use project management software in a way that works for me to remind myself of what needs doing (especially regular upkeep tasks), in addition to special projects. I've started using it outside of work (on an unrelated, personal account! For the record! Asana is free for small teams!!) to manage Amadeus tasks, and I have to say it has been a game changer. It's really getting me to stay on top of everything that needs doing. I got the advice from several indie devs at SIX to use project management software, and wouldn't you know it, they were right. The folks who actually get enough stuff done to have a demo at SIX know what it takes to get your game made! Who knew??

Marketing

I've been paying more attention to what other indie devs do to advertise their own work. Many aspects of "successful" posts are beyond my control - whether something reaches a wide audience or not depends on too many factors to stress over. So I have decided to focus on what I can control: if the post reaches someone who might like this game, how do I show them that they might like this game?

For the past couple weeks, I've picked a game whose marketing posts I willingly shared on social media because I was excited about the game. I retweeted Small Saga's trailer advertising its upcoming release last week - why? Well, because I watched their trailer video and found it appealing. Why did I watch the video? I don't watch every video on my twitter feed! But something about the trailer footage reminded me of Final Fantasy IX, one of my favorite video games ever made. What, specifically? The character designs and town designs evoked that feeling for me. Then I unmuted the video and really liked the track that was playing, and I decided I wanted to share this.

As a musician, it pains me to say that the music was not remotely close to my first priority when determining whether to share this post. It was a deciding factor, but one that did not come into play until after the visuals had captivated me. The visuals showed me "this game feels like Final Fantasy IX," and that is the hook that got me to stick around for the rest. The trailer succeeded in convincing me, as someone who might like the game, that I might like it. And it did so by letting the game speak for itself. The fact that the font in the trailer matched the aesthetic of the game footage was also a nice bonus.

So last week, I put together a post with a video that was supposed to communicate: "if you like Umineko When They Cry, you might like Amadeus." The same way Small Saga communicated "if you like Final Fantasy IX, you might like Small Saga." I included more of the pure text-based visual novel scenes in this trailer than usual, because Amadeus is turning into more and more of a visual novel the more I flesh out the narrative. I don't know if this accomplished what I hoped it would, but the process of making it taught me a lot.

A couple weeks before this, I based my post off of Cavern of Dreams marketing on Tumblr. Cavern of Dreams appealed to me because its posts told me exactly who it was for: it was for people with a nostalgic love for N64-era platformers. Who is Amadeus for? Well, since I was deep in revamping the point-and-click controls to also allow point-and-spacebar for wrist ease, I made a trailer advertising this accessible input scheme.

I don't pretend to be very good at marketing still, but I've learned a lot just from seeing what other people have done that clicked with me. Marketing, as an indie dev, is really about communication. It's about showing people the heart of what you're making, in a way that lets people who share the same interests find it and enjoy it.

Recreation

3 games to shout out that I played this month:

Burly Men At Sea - an excellent reference for a game with a simple style and focused concept that is really appealing and polished. It's fun, silly, cute, and does what it wants to do extremely well. It's... effectively the opposite of what I am making, which is a game that is scrappy, overly ambitious, and all over the place. But that's okay! It's very grounding to play a game that features strengths completely the opposite of my own.

Once by Moonlight - a short werewolf visual novel here on itch. I don't pretend to think I am the first person to write a visual novel about a werewolf, so I wanted to look at someone else's take on it. I recommend it if you have a couple hours to spare. I took about a page of notes while playing it for my own reference, as both a dev and a storyteller, so you know it's solid!

Tsukihime - I only just started this, but it was a recommendation from a friend after I asked for a VN recommendation that was long enough to binge and go insane over, and preferably had vampires or werewolves. I am certain this will show up under "Recreation" for next month as well, because I can already tell this is going to give me a lot of ideas and influence Amadeus in ways that are yet to be determined. While I myself am not writing a horny visual novel, I also feel it's important to acknowledge that horny visual novels are the backbone and history of the whole genre, so why not play the super iconic one about vampires?

That's a wrap for this month! Next month, my goal is to be able to sum up my entire devlog with "the demo is remade and in private playtesting." Fingers crossed I can hold myself to it. Stay tuned!

[lousycapy]

I'm already late to the party, but for the other anon, my observation is that many Max fans like Maxiel. Also, it was one of the top ships, iirc, before Lestappen happened.

As for liking or shipping Lestappen, even though they don't have much interaction: I guess it's their karting days lore and not liking each other before. Also when they do interact esp on podiums, drivers parade and conferences: it's cute. And for me, when I get into RPF for each space/fandom, I ship people mainly for the vibes/lore/compatibility. Like the other anon said, there are many popular ships out there that never interacted canonically but just make sense with their personalities and backgrounds (Superwholock, the crossover of Disney/Dreamworks/Pixar ships like Jelsa, a lot of popular HP ships comes to mind as well).

And I think for me (and I've seen multiple Lestappen accounts saying the same over time), most of those that get into shipping/RPF Lestappen don't actually wish for them to get together. We just take the real Max and Charles and use them as a basis/template for our Max and Charles story characters. It's like playing Barbie or house but with F1 drivers. Lol (idk if i'm explaining this well) but this is also I think the reason why there are a lot of AUs for Lestappen that for other people don't make sense. After all the F in RPF is fiction. Mostly just wish for them to interact so we can use those in our silly little stories.

Sorry for this long mesage and I hope you're having a nice day!

yes if I remember correctly before lestappen were the most written for f1 rpf ship on ao3 maxiel held that spot, and since Charles wasn’t on the grid when these 2 were teammates that could explain why older Max fans would prefer the ship with Daniel.

as for the lack of interactions but potential for stories through archetypes compatibility I’ll just link to the post you referenced on how people can enjoy ships differently here because it was such an interesting perspective! Charles and Max have had some cute (fruity🤨) moments but there’s also some drama and tension in their past so I definitely see why people like to ship it.

shipping to me is absolutely not about wishing the people or characters to get together in canon, it’s more of a view on what if they could develop into a romance organically. I couldn’t tell you why lestappen specifically got so popular in f1 rpf despite their relatively limited lore (backstory goes HARD though but the evolution has been pretty limited, hopefully as you said we get more interactions because the potential is there) or any other ship that relies more on compatibility of the personalities. the Barbie comparison is pretty great actually, using the template as a basis to build up new natural events.

my vision is that what makes a fanfic a specific ship’s story is the relation to canon events, because without those moments that differentiate their ship from any other possible combination of their archetypes personality I feel like I could replace the characters in the story by any of those iterations of archetypes, which kind of takes me out of the “what ifs” of how a relationship could develop between the people in the ship. sort of like “yeah, this story is about lestappen but since you’re not referring to the inchident or their on track battles or the terrible winks or the respectful appreciation of each other’s talent or anything else about them I feel like this story isn’t really theirs, and I could replace the characters with any other ship that is blunt guy/guy-next-door and it wouldn’t be shocking.” obviously people enjoy shipping differently, but that’s probably where my original confusion for why lestappen were so popular stemmed from, since with such a wealth of complex developed driver relationships in f1 I thought it’d be more logical for one of those to be more popular…

thank you for the input it’s always fascinating to see how other people view a shared pastime, and have a nice day as well 🫶

[machinesandman]

"?!"

The way this alternate got creative in how to dodge so effectively, using the thruster of the mounted arm missile as a way of increasing the dash to a dodge, it impressed the Ex Maverick. Enough that he had to pause and appreciate such a move, it was something he himself would have tried many, many, years ago when younger. But older versions of himself wouldn't, far too wrapped up in ego, power, and urges to use every new tool to be higher and in advantage over someone else.

"Good."

Vile was pleased. That means this one had an edge over that other alternate, not blinded like himself used to be. Vi will need that. Adaptability it what we were always good at once... Stay that way, be better than the rest of us.'

The older version of the two stood now in the indented ground, small crater of a sort, and he brought himself to his full height once more. The dust slowly settling down around him like an ominous haze in the air, leaving Vile silhouetted. That energy shield dissipating with but a thought as he began to turn, arm bending backwards, palm open. Preparing a new counter or attack- but Vile held his hand up. Making him stop in his tracks and wait. Honorable even now, with the raw honesty out in the air. That lifted hand lowering as all the energy he was gathering was depleted, put back into reserves.

Brows furrowed under the helmet as he listened intently then. Attacked...? From the sounds of things, it couldn't have been Mavericks. Extremists as he said have been deploying the virus on their own, so maybe it was those Emerald Spears bastards? If they even existed in this alternates world, or at least something similar to them. Vile was left wondering the specifics of how trying to cure it was even going, if the other worlds X was involved... Was he even still immune? Like the X of his own world? Had to be, otherwise he wouldn't be there.

"Well shit." The war machine strode out of the impact zone he had created, to stand closer to his alternate once more, enough for polite conversation, but not enough to indicate he would be standing down. "Sounds like a few are trying to find some sort of gain from causing that sort of destruction." A part was curious, almost enough so, to see if Shaska could have any input on this other worlds issue. But he sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up to her, not their circus. He had faith in Vi and the other side of reality. Or maybe faith was the wrong word... Maybe he was starting to feel that damnable Hope so many spoke about...

Wait-- that was a good question actually! Why would that other variant want involved? Vile felt his instincts suddenly flare, various possible outcomes flitting across his mind. "That is a big concern I share. I can think of two possibilities off the top of my head, and neither one are good." Even more so if a different Sigma, or some other figure head, is pulling that other Vile's strings. "For one, he could be there to try and get it to use as a weapon for himself. I can tell you for certain that most of the others of us have one hell of a grudge against X, Zero, and the Hunters as a whole. If he got hole of your version, maybe he would want to use it was a way to wipe MHHQ off the map. Strategy speaking? It would cripple any resistance."

He hummed then, shifting his weight sideways with the slight tilt of the helmet. "The grudge leads me to the second one. It could be thrill of the kill, just to try and take down you as a way to prove his superiority, or worse infect you to be like him. And then go after your worlds X and Zero. Not sure whatever ya want me callin' em'."

"Either way, he can not be suffered to remain a threat... It could be much worse than even I might be thinking." He motioned with one hand then, in a sort of offer. Something meant to let him choose to continue their fight, or keep it on a pause.

Miserable, that's how it sounds. Vi can only hazard a guess at the timeline, at how rapidly the virus advanced. How swiftly everything in his alternate's world decayed. His own experiences in a broken mirror. The spread had been slowed here, if only because of how deadly infection was. Killing the subjects so quickly was a mercy of a sort, although no one could really call it painless.

You enjoyed it? That glitch must have gone a long ways back. Although Vi couldn't deny the thrill of combat, the pride in his work, he suspected that this... reveling in the chaos, was not that.

Vile moves backwards, dodging as effectively as expected. Really, it would have been disappointing if the uppercut actually connected. What is a surprise however, is the thrusters mounted in the soles of his companions boots. It makes for a quick retreat and regrouping effort.

Shit, I can't do that. The raising of eyebrows under his visor. Getting airborne is a new trick, and one the Maverick Hunter would definitely be considering modifications for in the future. "I'm impressed." A quick scan of the other's armor is tucked away for later.

For the first time in a while, he's grateful to have teammates with flight capabilities, this at least, isn't out of the ordinary. A missile pops out of his gauntlet armor, rather than firing at Vile though... he breaks into a sprint towards his incoming opponent. The rocket's booster flares while still attached to his arm, helping him pick up speed. His dash turns into a slide just barely under the alternates path.

What he can't make up for in natural speed, he can make up with resourcefulness. He's had to use plenty of tricks when sparring with the other S-ranks. Nonlethal momentum is one thing he can handle. The weapon clicks as it disappears back into his arm, one of them is pulling punches after all. Vi gets back to his feet with a sigh, inspecting the impact zone he'd missed with a hidden grimace. Close call.

It's funny how casual this feels. It's easier to talk like this in a way. Functions split, less time to overthink the answers. More honest. Still, he isn't quick to retaliate, if only because his alternate asked a pointed question. He holds up a hand, to signal a proper pause in their skirmish.

"Xan-- X, and several other research teams have been studying it. Working on a vaccine." Slow, grim work. Comprised of mostly human scientists to avoid accidental infection. "...the primary research outpost was attacked a while back." A real dent in any progress.

"Since then, it's been deployed like a bio weapon by extremists. Completely clean areas become ground zero out of the blue." It'd only happened a few times, but even once is too many. "That's why it's still out there." Why it hadn't been fully contained. "We still don't know where it came from in the first place, or how they're getting their hands on more of it." A pause, and he's crossing his arms, thoughtful.

"...actually... now that you've got me thinking... what the hell would that other Vile gain from getting in the middle this? Our virus is lethal, and there's been no sign he's spreading anything else." So what then, is he just in it for the thrill of the kill?