#Seriously why do I do this to myself lol
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carriedreamerx · 30 days ago
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One of my main heroes is a software engineer: I barely understand a03 code
Another of my mains is a biochemist- I barely passed chemistry in high school.
#Writers problems
ppl talk about the difficulty of writing characters smarter than yourself, but the real challenge is writing a character who is funnier than you are
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oatmealcrisp-freak · 2 months ago
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
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akindredskillet · 6 months ago
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who’s the most underrated faraway npc and why is it curtsey 💝
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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odakota-rose · 10 months ago
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leaving this on my tumblr where i can actually find it bc i posted it on twitter last week and it's already evaporated into the void lmao
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silly-lil-scribbles · 25 days ago
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me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself
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titsthedamnseason · 9 months ago
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since i haven’t pissed off enough people today i’ll say something else. i’m actually not a fan of surprise song mashups and i’m glad this wasn’t a thing when it was my show
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sluttyten · 11 months ago
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My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes
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semitransparent-glob · 1 year ago
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oh btw i have finished(?) writing my fangan's prologue and might share it if ppl would be inch rested in that. its a 35 page google doc that's formatted to be just dialogue and inner thoughts from Emiko (plus a few pictures). I can link my toyhouse with it for character ref because not all of my full body ref images are finished and on there. it's just the prologue so its just introductions and exposition, but..
if anybody would like to read it lmk by liking/replying to this post :^)
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hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents#negativity#negative#death wish#lmao#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every#day etc but like#what else am i supposed to do#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever#idk how to tag lmai#using stuff like#tw suicidality#tw suicidal#tw suicidal ideation#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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bombusbombus · 1 year ago
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recoloured this old warmup to repost cause I had it on my mind.
If Clark is going to be in earth 19 (gotham by gaslight universe) (they're publishing more gbg and clark is going to be there), then listen to me listen to me, he needs to be a cowboy. Superman needs to be a cowboy in the big city. I am SOO serious about this. I am on my knees, DC, let me write for you, I would add so many themes about modern technology versus traditional knowledge and sprinkle in some anticolonialism PLEASE.
You could have a cute little Daily Planet that has to struggle against yellow journalism in a smoky little backroom & setting their own type, a la The Truth. You could have gentlemen's clubs. You could have a brutal war against unions in the streets and one lone titan of industry giving into their demands. You could have the exact same 3 batkids from the movie, there's literally nothing to improve on there. You could have Clark tear down a barbed wire fence with his bare hands, in a futile attempt to unravel colonialist ideas of private land ownership. Imagine the alien knows more about the earth, the real earth, than the knight in his city does. Imagine the American dream failing Clark, who has to go back east to the big city, failing Bruce, who lost his parents, failing everyone over and over until they decide to build something without it. In an era of rampant exploitation, what do real heroes look like?
Or you can make the justice league fight big steampunk robots ig I'm excited either way.
#all that to say ask me about the gotham by gaslight superbat friendship I've been thinking about for a LITERAL YEAR...#the original colouring on this was only the sort of ass you can achieve with a blue light filter at 2am#also I can hear you saying “why do your warmups usually look better than your final drawings Moose?”#(shh let me imagine I have a huge rapt audience)#well. I have aphantasia which makes it much harder to make things up than to draw from life#however my passion is cartooning. so I'm a little fucked#I also have a disability that sometimes makes me run a temperature when I overexert myself mentally#so drawing cartoons can make me run a literal fever#whereas drawing from life is more abt hand skill than brain skill so it doesn't fuck me up#but that's why I don't draw much anymore lol. Arranging people and items and background on a canvas is excruciating trial and error#but when you already have a pic the photographer has done some of that for you and you just need to collage preexisting images together#and once you have the elements of the picture then it's easy to retroactively construct a balanced tableau#tl:dr creativity is hard and makes CPU explode but editing is easy#that being said if a mutual wants me to draw an animal or something for them & gives me a reference I will drop everything to do it. dm me.#seriously I'm good w anything organic like plants or animals or horrible growths#hell if u do thumbnails I'll draw the full thing. I'll write w you. I fuckin love collaboration.#might be a bad writing partner though cause I'm neurotic as hell#.#I just remembered that Dan Garret was in earth 19 last time it was shown in a comic#no offense to all you dan-heads out there. but I think he should die.#cause I would be. obsessed. With 1890s Chicago cryptid Ted Kord#I think he should be 23 and terrible#the most steampunk guy around. Probably takes cocaine. Still a college student (gettin his fourth degree). Hasn't left his house in a month#not to mention futureboy Booster in his kevlar vest with his iphone named skeets
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solradguy · 1 year ago
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Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.
it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages
While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.
The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.
#asks#Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole)#I know exactly how these people function because I was there once...#When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do#Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care#All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did)#I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing?#I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else#People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified#It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic#I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally#I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol#Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized#'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man'#It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.#There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now#Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently#Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context#So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care
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5-htagonist · 3 months ago
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i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise
#like. im crazy about the.m#unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake#and also so me nand my husband <3#its kind of freaky actually#my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait#and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL#he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your#Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play#im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in#and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion#how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul#anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this#alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years#like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass#and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions#and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol#it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our#adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for#anyways#i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants#DM
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sacrilegiousoul · 11 months ago
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real personal but hey chat am i an abuser & manipulator for trying to get someone to understand how their actions hurt me, how their behavior sometimes is somewhat inconsiderate and emotional support one-sided, but that’s me calling myself a victim even though I’ve always been able to admit my wrongdoings and where it’s been my fault and correct my behavior try to be better etc. also me trying to talk about very real personal issues that is vulnerable to me, my mental health issues is “too much” and i should just “get over it, grow up” but whenever its about their mental problems i suddenly have to understand everything and why and how i have to be so they don’t react differently & always there to talk about whatever they’re going through. also my hobbies and interests could never be talked about, only theirs mainly or whatever few interests we shared. trying to get them to acknowledge this without berating me and trying to paint me as the worst person ever is draining. yeah i’ve been struggling horribly this past year, so fucking bad. the past five years it’s been great together bc i usually keep everything to myself and I don’t push my issues onto anyone else, hate being a burden but i thought i could go them since this year has been absolute hell for me bc we are “best friends” yk for some understanding, support, love, just someone to talk to me. I bear my soul to them but all I get is nah I just need to get over myself i guess and they know ive been neglected horribly during childhood that’s the worst part. i wish i could just get over it all lmaoooo wish it was that easy fr
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therealandian · 5 months ago
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ITS YOU! YOU HAVE RANDOMLY APPEARED IN ME FEED, HII!
I am fully caught up on Redeath and Search Through The Stars, and im sad because not only is this fic almost over, but another unrelated long-shot fic I’ve been reading for a while is ALSO almost over. Send help I don’t know what im going to do with my life. Find more fics I guess.
aww this is such a sweet message to wake up to. and hey don't cry cos it's over smile cos it happened or whatever the quote is lmao <3
if it's any consolation, after 4 years spent in this au, i'm also at a bit of a loss on what to do now XD (probably i should catch up on rrr, which i'm guessing is the other fic you're talking about lol)
i'm gonna try to do some more original stuff, though, so feel free to stick around for more silly gay people fucking around and finding out XD
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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 17 days ago
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So anyway it's not showing up because it's a fairy child.
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