#Seriously this took me several hours and I started around 2 AM. The only reason this is legible is autocorrect

[boilingrain]

I'd ask if you guys wanted to hear about my dumb self-indulgent warrior cats rewrite (mainly focused on TNP, Po3 & OotS but I might add future arcs to the rewrite eventually. TPB stays basically the same, though) but I've decided I don't care if anyone wants to hear about it, I'm going to talk about it anyways

(But I'm putting it under a read more because trust me, this is basically just me rambling a lot. You have been warned. Also I'm starting to write this at almost 2 AM and I will probably not proofread this, so my apologies for any typos and grammar or punctuation errors)

Okay so I honestly originally wrote this for myself and didn't intend to share it with anyone, so I never gave this a cool name or anything. I've always just kind of referred to it as "CrowSquirrel AU"

Why CrowSquirrel? It's because I honestly felt like Leafpool x Crowfeather felt a little out of nowhere, so this whole thing started from me trying to imagine what would happen if instead of that, the forbidden romance plotline was Squirrelpaw/flight and Crowpaw/feather, who could've gotten closer during all that traveling that the prophecy cats (+ Squirrelpaw and Stormfur) were doing. And then the whole thing just kind of spiraled out of control, just like every other Warrior Cats related thing I've ever tried to write

Also this isn't going to cover every single plot point because I'm covering three arcs and don't feel like covering every little thing. So this will mostly be major plot points with some other stuff occasionally thrown in. (Also I haven't read TNP in a while & have a harder time trying to remember more minor plot points)

And not all of the new plot points that I put in are entirely concrete. Honestly I keep messing around with random concepts, doing the creative equivalent of tossing some spaghetti at a wall to see if it'll stick

So uh, let's start off with covering The New Prophecy (since Arc 1/The Prophecies Begin isn't really changed at all)

First off, there's no Bramble x Squirrel in this rewrite. Brambleclaw starts out the arc in canon thinking Squirrelpaw is annoying and while relationships can grow and change over time, this is my AU/rewrite and I can do whatever I want with it. Brambleclaw still starts out the arc thinking she's annoying, but by the end they're close friends (he still thinks she's annoying but in an affectionate way)

Also I don't really bring it up much, but Leafpool and Squirrelflight keep that telepathy thing they had because I thought it was interesting and also just because the Erin's forgot about it doesn't mean I will. So yeah, I don't really talk about it a ton but it's there

Squirrelpaw still follows Brambleclaw to the meeting with the other prophecy cats (who all stay the same. Stormfur is also still there) and it's there that she meets Crowpaw. Considering his whole... personality, she and Crowpaw don't exactly get along at the start.... at all.

They all still set off for the Sun-drown Place, and during all of that traveling (Also they still meet Purdy because I love him. He's not important but he still exists) all of the cats on the journey slowly grow closer together. Crowpaw still has a thing for Feathertail (it's more of a small crush though, but they do eventually become good friends) but he and Squirrelpaw eventually start to get along more, as they can bond over both being apprentices and also that they don't really have prior connections to most of the other cats on the journey (other than Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw being clanmates). It's not anywhere near a romance yet, but the two of them are definitely start getting along

Feathertail actually doesn't die killing Sharptooth because, and I will say this many times, this is my AU/rewrite and I get to choose what's canon. She is, however, badly injured and has to stay behind with the tribe so that she can heal from her injuries because even if the forest wasn't being destroyed by twolegs (which the traveling cats don't know yet, but Squirrelpaw has at least been getting some bad vibes about home sent her way from Leafpaw), Feathertail really shouldn't be traveling with the injuries she has, especially since none of the prophecy cats (+ Squirrel and Storm) know shit about medicine.

Back with Leafpaw's POV while her sister is off doing stuff, things are more or less the same. The forest is being destroyed, threatening all of the clans. Cats are starving (Hollykit and Larchkit still die, I'm sorry. I can't remember exactly when that happens but it still does). Things really suck for the clans. Also Leafpaw is still Like That about Mothwing.

Anyways the traveling cats (minus Feathertail) finally return to the forest territories, see the bad state they're in and return to their clans (they're still like "hey. we need to fucking leave". I can't remember how soon after returning that the prophecy cats were having to convince their leaders/clans to leave the forest territories but that still happens)

Graystripe is still told about what happened with Feathertail, but this time he's told that she's not dead and that she's recovering from her injuries while she stays with the Tribe for the time being. Also Graystripe still eventually gets taken by twolegs

But the clans do eventually decide to leave and find a new home (some elders still stay behind like in canon). Before they leave, Firestar and Cloudtail take a moment to go visit Princess and tell her goodbye (Firestar also visits Smudge for the same reason) because I'm very upset that as far as I'm aware, neither of them told Princess about them leaving the forest and that makes me very sad.

The time they were doing that wasn't enough time for Feathertail's injuries to completely heal (she's definitely got at least a few broken bones), so Stormfur decides to stay with her & the tribe. Also Feathertail gets told about her dad getting yoinked by twolegs (she is understandably upset and distressed about this information)

Crowpaw still chooses the name Crowfeather, but it's less about being in love with Feathertail and more about how he's genuinely become friends with the other prophecy cats (and Squirrelpaw + Stormfur) and he decided name himself after one of the friends he might never see again, all things considered (Feathertail is making good progress with her healing, but after her injuries heal she decides to stay with the Tribe. Also with her bad injuries and how she hadn't completely healed by the time the clans left the forest, there's at least an implication that they're not 100% certain that she'll actually survive)

Anyways the clans get to the lake territories and Squirrelpaw is given the name Squirrelflight.

Leafpaw still finds the Moonpool and proceeds to be named Leafpool

While the clans are still trying to settle down in their new home (and the Windclan civil war thing is happening), Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Tawnypelt and Crowfeather still regularly interact with each other because they're friends (+ Bramble and Tawny are siblings). Squirrelflight and Crowfeather meet up alone at least a few times, but it takes a while before either of them is ready to admit that they maybe kind of having developed romantic feelings for each other.

(Don't get on me for being bad at writing romance, I'm aromantic, I've never even experienced a small crush. I don't know shit about romance)

Leafpool, however, does know about her sister's feelings for Crowfeather (because I kept the telepathy thing). She obviously doesn't tell anyone about it, though she probably does tell Squirrelflight that it's a bad idea.

Mudclaw still gets smushed by the tree that creates a bridge to the Gathering island (I have to assume that Windclan got his corpse out from under the tree but like... wouldn't it be fucked up if they couldn't. He's removed from under there & buried in this, but like. What if, you know?)

When it comes to Squirrelflight's whole relationship with Ashfur, she has no romantic feelings for him in this. This cannot be said on Ashfur's end though, and he very openly has a thing for her. They never get together, but at least part of Thunderclan thinks they might.

If Squirrelflight were to get into a relationship with Ashfur, it would be extremely short and probably just the result of her trying to avoid/deny her feelings. She'd probably quickly realize that she doesn't actually want a relationship with Ashfur and break up with him.

Either way, he might overhear (or perhaps be outright told) that Squirrelflight has feelings for someone else, but not who that someone else is (he assumes it's Brambleclaw. It is not)

Also Daisy & her kits still join Thunderclan and Brambleclaw still becomes deputy

I don't know if Squirrelflight would run away with Crowfeather, but if they did then they'd just be gone for a few days. Midnight probably still shows up to tell them to go home because badgers. Squirrelflight returns right in time to learn that Thunderclan now has one less medicine cat (Cinderpelt still reincarnates as Cinderheart btw). Squirrelflight and Crowfeather break up around this time

Ashfur, finally getting the hint that Squirrelflight isn't into him, deals with it in what's clearly the most logical and sane way. By starting to attempt to kill her family members

Firestar still gets caught in the fox trap and Brambleclaw still kills Hawkfrost, the lake runs red with blood, you get the point.

Anyways a little while later in leafbare, Squirrelflight realizes she may or may not be gregnant. Perhaps even pregant. Leafpool is probably the one to inform her, and both of them are aware of who the father is.

After considering her options, Squirrelflight decides to hunt down Crowfeather to tell him he has kids. He decides to stay in Windclan and not be involved in their lives, but at least he's not learning this information for the first time at a Gathering from the adult daughter he didn't know he had.

After that Squirrelflight talks to Brambleclaw and, despite neither of them having anything more than platonic feeling for the other, asks him to at least say he's the father if anyone asks about her kits and he agrees.

Eventually kits are had and are named Lionkit, Hollykit and Jaykit. Leafpool is a good aunt and Brambleclaw is helping Squirrelflight raise them.

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight, as previously established, don't have any romantic feelings for each other and honestly don't even try to act like they've actually been mates this whole time or anything like that. They just happily co-parent the kits

At this point, we go into the Power of Three

I don't imagine Lion and Jay would change in appearance too much (they also still have the same powers as canon), but in my mind Holly is a tortoiseshell and she has one white paw because I love tortie Holly and the white paw is both a tie to her mom and (especially combined with her being primarily black) a visual similarity to her great (half) uncle Scourge

Hollyleaf is part of the Three in this because I love her (Dovewing is the fourth cat). I still haven't figured out what her power would be but. She has one.

Also Jaykit is a very unnerving baby because I think it's funny to imagine the Three (& Dove in this AU/rewrite I guess because she's the fourth) having their powers their whole lives, even as kits. He doesn't exactly realize for a while that being able to feel other people's emotions isn't a normal thing (he also thinks at first that his dreamwalking is just him having weird dreams). Since it isn't known yet that the kits are part of a prophecy, anyone who knows about Squirrelflight & Leafpool's telepathy thing just kind of assume it's some sort of evolution of that.

Jayfeather is still a reincarnation of Jay's Wing, Lionblaze is still a reincarnation of Lion's Roar, Dovewing is still a reincarnation of Dove's Wing and Hollyleaf is now a reincarnation of Holly (a Windclan cat from Dawn of the Clans)

There's stuff with the Ancients going on basically all throughout this version of Po3 (& OotS), but I'm not going to really talk about it because I'm tired

Jayfeather also never becomes a medicine cat. Several Starclan cats attempt to convince him to change career paths, but he still becomes a warrior.

But you know who does become a medicine cat? Lionblaze (who probably gets a name change, same with Jay, but I don't know what new suffixes they'd have)

Lionblaze originally traned as a warrior apprentice, mentored by Ashfur (who probably trained Lion with his claws out but Lion didn't really notice because of his power), but something happens (probably some sort of battle) and Lion realizes that he really doesn't want to hurt anyone and switches to become a medicine cat apprentice. His power can really come in handy if he needs to get somebody off the battlefield to treat them

Other than those changes, the more important plot points in Po3 don't change much. Crowfeather is a bit nicer to the Three on the when they interact (a fact that Breezepaw/pelt, who still exists in this but is at least a few moons younger than Lion, Jay & Holly, is aware of and angry about), but for a long time they don't know exactly why and assume it probably has something to do with Crowfeather being friends with their parents (Jay thinks Crow's emotions about them are a bit weird, but doesn't think too much of it at first)

A more or less minor thing that would possibly be in the background during Po3 is that maybe a few cats might have a theory that the Three aren't actually Brambleclaw's kits. They wouldn't have enough information to realize that they're Crowfeather's kits, and they definitely wouldn't say anything to said kits (or, Starclan forbid, anywhere within earshot of Squirrelflight).

Some of the cats who thought Squirrelflight would get together with Ashfur (especially if they actually did have an incredibly short relationship) might look at how Jayfeather is gray with blue eyes (as well as possibly some other small details from the others that are really just coincidences) and assume that Ashfur might actually be the father.

I bring this up specifically because I want you to consider: What if Ashfur also thinks that he might be the Three's father and Squirrelflight just never told him (which honestly is a whole other AU that somebody has probably written). This would really only work with the brief relationship ideo but still

Anyways while other plot has been happening, Ashfur somehow stumbles across the information that Brambleclaw actually isn't the Three's biological father. I'd assume he learned this either through eavesdropping on a conversation Squirrelflight & Leafpool had, or having some Dark Forest cat (probably Hawkfrost, since they already worked together in the past) spy on cats or something like that. Listen, the more important part about it is that he somehow gets the information.

He could also just... not know that bit of information (yet) and try to burn the Three anyways for the same reason he did in canon

During the Fire Scene, it really could be either Squirrelflight or Brambleclaw that Ashfur is confronting while blocking the way out of the fire for Lion, Jay & Holly (which is extra fucked up if you go with the flavor of Ashfur thinking they're his kits. I'd imagine that version of Ashfur being too far gone at this point though, and would let them burn anyways just to hurt Squirrelflight)

If it's Squirrelflight, he could taunt her with the fact that he knows she's been lying about the father of her kits, asking her if Brambleclaw knows. She wouldn't get to have her "They're not my kits" line from canon, but when I first created this AU/rewrite I knew that line would unfortunately have to go

If it's Brambleclaw, Ashfur could maybe give more information as to how he learned that Brambleclaw's not their bio dad, also asking Brambleclaw if he knew they weren't his. Ashfur would be hoping to deal two blows at once to Squirrelflight here, killing her kits and ruining her relationship with who he thinks is her mate. Brambleclaw already knows that and also that they're Crowfeather's. Ashfur doesn't know that Brambleclaw already knows. (Also with the version where Ashfur thinks they're his, he could bring that up, pointing out any percieved similarities he shared with them, including Jay being gray with blue eyes)

Either way, the Three come out of the event now knowing that they don't actually know who their bio dad is (Squirrelflight either admits that Brambleclaw's not the dad or Brambleclaw says that he's known since before they were born that they weren't his)

They do confront Squirrelflight & Brambleclaw about it, and are told basically the whole story except for who their bio dad is.

Ashfur still plans on revealing shit at the Gathering, and he still gets killed by Hollyleaf. He actually goes to the Dark Forest in this because he literally tried to kill 4 people. It was fucking dumb that he went to Starclan because he "loved too much". To cat hell with he

The Three wind up learning about being related to Crowfeather and Hollyleaf does not take it well (though she might actually slightly differently? She still yells about it at the Gathering and disappears into the tunnels, but at least she's just half-clan and not half-clan and the child of a medicine cat)

Hollyleaf reveals at the Gathering that Crowfeather is the Three's father, only to also learn that he already knew and had been told before they were born. Hollyleaf probably doesn't take this well either

Anyways then Hollyleaf runs off into the tunnels and is presumed dead.

And now we're on to Omen of the Stars. I'm sorry, I warned you this would be long.

Dovekit also gets to be unnerving because of being able to hear everything, but she also gets easily overstimulated because of that.

Stuff involving the Ancients keeps happening in this arc and also Dovepaw/wing learns at some point about her, Jay, Lion and Holly (& I guess Cinder) being reincarnations.

Dovepaw either stays a warrior apprentice (possibly even being mentored by Jay but idk about that) or she stays Lion's apprentice and becomes a medicine cat. I honestly don't know.

Ivy still trains in the Dark Forest, but the cats who train there slowly but surely start doing more bad stuff in the waking world so that the "btw we're killing the clans" thing doesn't come completely out if nowhere

Uh, stuff with Sol (who I forgot to mention before but just assume all of his appearances are basically the same as canon) happens. I'm probably mentioning that out of order just like a lot of things here but my point is that it happened

Russetfur still dies but it's (probably) not Lionblaze's fault this time. Probably.

Briarpaw still gets paralyzed, her story remains basically completely unchanged

Breezepelt is still Breezepelt

Hollyleaf returns and they get that bit about there being a fourth cat and instead of it being Firestar they realize that Hollyleaf has powers and Dovewing is the fourth cat

The big battle against the Dark Forest still happens except the Ancients are there, the prophecy cats do more and also Hollyleaf doesn't die because I will take a hammer and fix the canon.

I don't really have anything really planned after that. Maybe I'll come up with something later but for now I've been writing for almost 6 hours straight so I'm going to end this long ass rambling post here

I'm sorry that the OotS portion is so short and with so little details. It's not that I didn't like the arc, it's just that I'm falling asleep while writing this and was just trying to get down at least the bones of my thoughts before I was out

You will probably see more about this rewrite/AU because I really don't know when to shut up

[destinygoldenstar]

Ninjago Dragons Rising Season 2 - Is It Good Or Nah?

So, I'm late to the party, aren't I?

Well I've had so much work that I think I'm having an existential crisis. So I had to wait till I had a free day to watch this season because I wanted to watch it with my GF.

We got to Episode 6, and then what did my boss do?

Slap me in the face with long work hours several days of the week.

I feel like I'm in a spiral of work after work after work with no purpose to life besides failure cause I can't trust myself to be capable at anything-

ANYWAY. We finished it now.

You know what the insane part about the season is? That it got the show trending on Tumblr.

That's an INSANE level of hype right there.

So I seriously had to ask myself "What the actual f**k happened in the show that caused THIS much hype?!"

So... here are my thoughts on the season.

SPOILER WARNING

Okay, so this may be a factor of my judgement, but due to my schedule, I was forced to watch only 6 Episodes one day, and then the last 4 Episodes today. Keep that in mind.

When it came to the first half of the season, was it good?

Yes. Obviously.

Was it living up to the insane level of hype?

Uh... not really for me??

Now, don't take that as a negative. This season is still REALLY good.

After the first season took awhile to get started as it needed to set up its characters and this new world, it makes sense for this season to throw the punches immediately.

The season gets started with its main plot right away with Ras immediately putting his plan into action, and by Episode 2, it's very clear the threat level he opposes and it's believable that we should be intimidated by what he wants.

Even though in Episode 2's fight, while AMAZINGLY choreographed, I was just screaming at the screen "HIT THE PERSON HOLDING THE GONG."

Like seriously, more than one of the characters in this fight can use projectiles with their powers AND they have a blaster in the Bounty, and the show never says that Ras has some sort of armor defense preventing him from getting blasted. He's literally standing out in the open. And the gong is clearly what's giving Cinder power. So HIT THE PERSON WITH THE GONG.

GOSH.

Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that this season's fight choreo is genuinely AMAZING. I am obsessed with the way the camera moves with the characters in these fights you have no idea. I was genuinely blown away by the last episode's fight in particular. But more on the ending later.

What also shocked me was how BRUTAL some of the stuff that happens here is, which caught me off guard.

I mean, Episode 2 has Euphrasia getting ambushed and crashed off the Cloud Kingdom with clear injuries, and Wyldfyre getting her leg SHATTERED. Like, WHAT?! HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!! (Even though the latter's healing was unrealistic. Like, it would realistically take months for an injury like that to heal. Not a critique, just saying.)

Ras body slams Jordanna at one point. He puts Arin in a CHOKEHOLD. And also beats him up so brutally... like OMG this guy does not mess around.

The Fear Cave Trial also REALLY got me tripping. Not only was it such a visually appealing moment, but it also, as the same suggests, showed several character psyches that were insane.

Except Kai for some reason. That's gonna drive me NUTS until I get an answer. WHAT DID HE SEE-?!

Then we get to the dragon mentors, and...

Yeah the season kinda loses me in the middle.

Don't get me wrong, I love the character bits here as much as anyone. But with how dyer they made the threat of Ras before, Ras and his forces take a backseat in the middle portion of the season and we're mostly just sitting at these training grounds talking. And for four episodes of it? It's a little grating, even if it is important.

The middle is mostly where most of my issues with the season stand. And here's where I get all my negatives out of the way:

Like I said, because this season is so long, there's an awkward pause in the conflict on the dragons plotline to learn this Rising Dragon Technique. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't FOUR EPISODES of it.

With the exception of the attack at the Land of Lost Things ONCE, Ras's army doesn't go after the ninja at all. I can kinda get the dragons group since they didn't have Bonzle, but he has to know that they ARE a threat, right? They're obviously trying to figure out how to stop you.

And even with the group that has Bonzle, what they NEED, the forces that go after that group is the Administration and the one off magician man villain, the former really didn't need to be in this season even if it was for a compelling Jay cameo, and the latter has overstayed his welcome at this point and I just rolled my eyes when he showed up on screen.

I'm all for Cole being a badass as much as the next guy, but WHY this magician man, who at this point, is so disconnected with the main antagonistic forces that he serves no purpose?

Why not, I don't know, use this screen time instead to explain what in the world happened with Cole when he left?

Seriously, the first season had this huge cliffhanger with Cole's character and him going after Wu's ghost. I wonder what's gonna happen to him and what he's gonna find out-

Oh. He's just back.

That to me is a huge disappointment. What was the point of him leaving the Lost Family in the first place if this journey was basically nothing? He doesn't even talk about it! COME ON NOW.

Also I think Zane should get slay pass on the Administration guy that called him equipment. What do y'all think?

I don't like Egot. Or whatever his name was. He's very condescending and cryptic and talks down to his only hope of the world being saved. But I think I'm supposed to dislike him for it, and there's gonna be more of his characterization revealed later, so don't take this one as a critique. The female one is great though.

The sorceress lady was... a choice in the narrative. My one critique for the ending was the potion shenanigans. Not because they were bad, but because they just felt so out of place among everything else. Like, "Oh, this finale is too dark and intense! We need to occasionally cut to wacky shenanigans with this sorceress's magic to prevent kids from feeling too much dread!"

I don't know, for me, I would've placed this stuff with the Administration instead, and instead have the group fight Jordanna, lose, and have her get away and flow that to Arin getting to her. Especially since the Administration posed such little threat to them and they even say such.

(I also have a theory that this sorceress is Wyldfyre's birth mom. I have no evidence to back this up besides "They both have red hair and similar facial structure")

With Cloud Kingdom getting taken over and Euphrasia captured, I thought she would have more of a role to play in this since this is, you know, her HOME and she's their guardian.

But nope. She does next to nothing up until the very end and plays prisoner and waits for the ninja to save her.

For gosh sake girl, you're the master of wind. FLY.

And finally, my last critique, Cinder.

Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not buying this character so far. Not that I don't think he'll have anything to do in the second part, but for how threatening he was in Episode 2, that threat level kinda vanishes in the middle and only comes back at the end. He does next to nothing and we learn nothing about him other than "He likes power". Jordanna is probably more unlikeable, but at least she has conflict going on with Ras and her magic, and she still serves more of a role in the plan besides being a foot soldier.

And... yep. That's all my critiques for this season. Which all seem pretty minor.

You know what this season is real good at? Characters.

As though that wasn't obvious already.

I did NOT expect Bonzle to play any major role at all, I thought she was just gonna be the dry and cynical side character. But no. She has a history. She has a life. She has emotions. All of which REALLY shine through at the end when you hear her voice have more range in it. The VA killed it. I ended up feeling so bad for her.

Especially considering what happens to her.

They're also not even hiding it anymore with Geo x Cole. They're just NOT. I love them and I hope we see more of their relationship in the future.

I genuinely don't understand the critique of "Geo is so selfish referring to him as Cole's family when it's obvious Cole has other people in his life."

Well no shit, you ever heard of a character flaw?

But it's also a completely understandable flaw. You guys aren't forgetting the part where Geo was abandoned for being a mixed race, right? Of course he's gonna cling to someone as compassionate and encouraging as Cole.

The Jay cameo was nice. I expect him to play no role in this season, but it's really compelling what they showed and I was satisfied with it.

Lloyd's conflict was handled very well in my opinion.

What's it called when it's PTSD, but it's about future events rather than past events? Foresight Traumatic Stress Disorder? FTSD? Yeah let's go with that.

For a kids show that glosses over trauma, (That's not a Ninjago problem, that's a kids show problem), it was really refreshing for them to not do that for once. It's actually explored and talked about and Lloyd is given advice on how to cope with it, and he freezes up in panic attacks when these visions happen and-THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT IGNORING HOW HARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS.

Seriously, as someone who is going through stuff like this, minus the magic element, it spoke to me a lot. It really shows that this show grew up with me, and I both love and hate that.

I do think this sort of arc is going to hit hard for adults much more than kids.

Are kids constantly terrified of the future and getting paralyzed with these fears and finding it difficult to cope with the traumas that is time and human life?

No?

Kai is also a standout in this, especially towards the end. This is by far the best Kai has been in a long time in terms of quality. I love how one of his most significant flaws gets addressed here, that being his overreliance on himself and his own abilities over the others, who he feels responsible to protect.

And the way he grasps with that and learns to let loose like he did as a child back in the old days through what he loves the most, that being his family. And the flashbacks with him and his sister. And the whole sequence of him learning Rising Dragon - AUGH ITS SO GOOD.

How poetic is it that the character most devoted to family since childhood is only cocky and angry because of his own desire to be the one with power to keep them safe, gets power by letting that go, being a kid again, and joining the same roots as his own family?

AND THEN HE GIVES UP HIS LIFE FOR THEM-

And finally, Arin.

Oh you poor sweet, sweet child.

First of all, yes, I am completely subscribed to the theory that the show is building up Arin turning on the ninja and becoming a villain. It's all there. It all fits. The amount of times they say how sweet he is as though that's gonna get lost. The dragons, the creators of the world, the gods basically, telling him he's not good enough. Ras confronting him. Sora's stunt even after she's been the most encouraging of him, like the BETRAYAL there. It's all there. And I will be posting my theory scenario on this don't you worry.

BUT, I don't think that's the route they're gonna go. Kids show and all of that. They wouldn't do that to one of their main characters. Unless you're Star Wars. At most I think Arin will be tempted by Ras's master's power in an episode and even do it, but then with the power of love and friendship, it'll get fixed.

So instead I'd rather say that Arin, by far, has the BEST power crisis arc of the entire show so far.

I LOVE that he doesn't get powers. That's something the original show would've done. I LOVE that he doesn't figure anything out in the end and his inner doubts get proven correct. That's something the original show would not have the guts to do.

I liked Arin in the first season, but he didn't interest me too much. Mostly because Sora had the lion share of focus in the first season. Here though? He might just take the crown for THE most relatable character. And I both love and hate it so much.

Like, seeing everyone else succeed in mastery while you can't even figure out your own thing. You get told you have a natural talent and a lot of potential and that you're good at a lot of things, only for that to be put to the test in the real world and you end up letting everyone down. Even when your loved ones encourage you that you are good enough and you're special in your own way, you can't get those voices out of your head and you mess up again and again and again to try and meet the world's expectations. Then those in charge tell you you're not good enough and wasted potential. Then you try everything out in the real world anyway and you FAIL, and those that doubt you and your own insecurities get proven correct as you're left a broken mess of a young child who doesn't know what the hell they're doing-

I'M IN THIS SHOW AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

I probably love Sora more as a character, but I will admit I grasp towards Arin more right now. Sora's a great trans allegory in a world that hates trans people. But I'm not trans so I relate to it a bit less. Arin's a great autistic allegory in a world that doesn't know how to help autistic people. And I am autistic so I relate to it more. That's just a me situation.

I am so invested in where Arin's story goes from here. Evil or not.

So yeah, the season was good, but didn't completely live up to the insane hype, which, to be fair, is a high bar.

UNTIL THE LAST FOUR EPISODES.

And then all of a sudden, I AM SHOCKED AND SHAKEN TO MY CORE.

These last four episodes are an absolute emotional roller coaster that left me shaking and screaming the whole time.

I actually SCREAMED at multiple occasions.

I actually screamed so many times watching this that I am now HOARSE.

THAT'S how hard it hit me.

The story goes from 0 to 100 the moment the Blood Moon shows up. Which was what the whole season was building up to. And it did NOT disappoint.

The race to try and protect Bonzle. The intense visions and paralysis Lloyd suffers from. Ras and the army coming back to the plot to be absolute powerhouses. The last episode of DREAD the entire time to desperately try to stop this ritual.

HUMAN SACRIFICES?! AM I WATCHING A KIDS SHOW RIGHT NOW?!?!

I was begging for Arin to succeed at getting Bonzle to safety, even though I knew he stood no chance against Ras. "Come on Arin! You got this!! YOU GOT THIS, SWEETIE!!"

And then Ras just goes to TOWN on the poor boy and taunts his utter failure, which HURTS SO BAD MAN.

The entire fight with the army, Cinder, and Ras. The destruction of the mechs which knocks them unconscious for a bit. Kai figuring out Rising Dragon again when his family gets put in danger. The way Nya avenges her brother afterwards.

When Bonzle was getting morphed back into spell form, BEGGING, I was begging too.

But they still do it!

And KAI?!?!

I couldn't even process what happened other than me screaming. From the moment Ras alluded to sacrificing Kai against his consent, I was screaming "NO. DON'T DO IT."

AND THEN THEY SACRIFICE HIM.

LIKE HOLY GOSH THIS FINALE DID NOT MESS AROUND.

I predicted a while back, in the first season actually, that Kai was gonna get sacrificed at some point. Who's laughing now? I DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.

Like, usually in Ninjago the character would be willing to sacrifice themselves for the others. But here? This is without Kai's consent at all. Ras might as well have killed him right here.

It definitely felt that way with the way the others react and BEG for his safety. The way Nya avenges him.

And Kai giving up his shot at escape for the sake of his family? BRO. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It hurts even more when you realize that when the Merge happened, Lloyd was ALONE thinking only he survived. He only gained hope again because of his reunion with Kai. His beloved surrogate brother!

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

NYA AND LLOYD LOST THEIR BROTHER.

WYLDFYRE LOST HER SURROGATE FATHER.

THEY THINK HE'S BASICALLY DEAD.

BRO. THAT'S SOUL CRUSHING.

And then Sora?! Why you gotta betray Arin like that?!

The most encouraging friend towards Arin, the person who held onto hope and praises for him the most, betrays that hope and doesn't trust him enough to get the winning blow himself. Then LIES about it.

GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That's going to be SO compelling once that gets outed. Like, morally, that was messed up and she was definitely in the wrong, BUT it led to the best possible outcome for them at the moment. They WON because she did NOT believe in Arin's abilities. Which only proves that the doubts about Arin's said abilities are correct.

And I have a gut feeling she's gonna learn Spinjitsu on top of that. And once that happens... double ouch.

Again, Evil Arin Theory.

I really hate to say it, but this reminds way too much of Arcane. If you know what I'm talking about.

I am totally imagining a situation similar to that in my head, that being a rescue mission for Kai, they decide to leave Arin out of it because of the lack of faith in him, he tags along anyway and he ruins their plan and Kai stays trapped there, Lloyd and Sora lash out on him for it, and before they can apologize they get thrusted back by something and Ras and Ras's master find Arin and take him in-

Again, I'll make a post about that.

The finale was by far the best part of this season. It has been a long time since Ninjago has made me HOARSE from being too invested.

That has not happened to me since Sons of Garmadon.

Because, yeah, I actually have NO IDEA where any of this is headed. How are they gonna save Kai and Bonzle? Why did some of Lloyd's visions not come true? What in the world is going on with Ras? Will the Administration help with that? Will the source dragons help with that?

What I probably do know is that Part 2 of this season is going to turn this into the best Ninjago Product since Tournament of Elements. Maybe even top it depending on my rewatches if my problems are still problems.

So... yeah. Good or Nah? Good. Obviously.

The hype is a little overblown to me, but it still deserves the hype.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Parting thoughts

Massive spoilers:

I’ve now had some time for the ending to percolate through the grey matter, gotten over feeling sad that my first playthrough is over. I’ve started playing with my second tav, a tiefling paladin, and you know what, I’m already noticing little tweaks they’ve made to the dialogues. Like, nothing significant, but little polishes here and there. For instance: I always remember when I first met Asharak (the fight practice teacher) and he said to the kids, look who’s here! I thought he was talking about ME, look, it’s the hero who just showed up at our gate and fought off the goblins! Oh man I thought that was so cute. I was a bit disappointed when I finally realized he meant WYLL, not ME. They adjusted the dialogue so now it’s much more clear that Asharak is introducing Wyll to the kids. Little things like that. I can’t wait to see all the things that got finessed.

Man. It took me seven months to finish my first playthrough. I dunno how everyone finished the game so quickly, my final recorded time was like 200 hours. (granted this did involve several hours of backtracking to fix various mistakes) Initially I assumed I would never play BG3, because I don’t have a PC or a non-nintendo console or anything. It was fun to watch everyone talk about the game even when I had no ability to play it. I think I mentioned this a million times already, but this game was released for mac coincidentally the exact same weekend I got a terminal cancer diagnosis for my cat that I’d had for 13 years. (she’s still doing ok btw) It was so amazing to have something to distract myself with and cheer myself up with after getting that shitty news. I binged it for about four days straight, barely sleeping at all. It was the first big, brand new, non-nintendo game that I’d played in… like… decades, seriously. I was so blown away by the quality of everything. Came here for the funny mean vampire, stayed here for the… absolutely everything else.

I am really glad that I kept a character journal as I played - like, along with the notes I was keeping about game mechanics (because online guides are super shit), I would also write down little thoughts and observations from the perspective of my tav. I always have this record of my playthrough now, and I think it’s really helped me to preserve my thoughts and reactions.

Neil Newbon came to my city’s comic expo last weekend and I was absolutely broadsided by what a smart, nice, and humble guy he is. Isn’t it just such an AMAZING feeling to be a fan of something, then get to know the people who made that thing and find out they’re nice people? I… I don’t know what’s wrong with my brain, but I’m a bit glad I finished my first playthrough before the expo, because I feel… embarrassed somehow?... to be thirsting so much after characters now that I’ve chatted with the guy in real life and he’s talked to my kids? Isn’t that weird? Why is my brain doing that? It’s not like he cares. Very much no. Neil has an amazing sense of humour about it all. Weird brain stuff. Weird. What can I say.

Anyways, I was thinking about a summary of my favourite moments:

1) Cambian fight on the nautiloid. So like I said, I hadn’t played any big, new non-nintendo games in a while. (I mean Nintendo makes good games! But like. A game like Animal Crossing… isn’t… quite the same, you know?) I was wandering around the ship feeling quite blown away by how fancy games have gotten. I was marvelling at the graphics, the gameplay, the tension of the whole situation, and then I get to this fight and that absolute fucking BANGER of a song that is Twisted Force starts playing, that was when I really realized like shit, this game is going to be an EXPERIENCE.

2) Alfira’s dark urge death. I was exposed to a ton of spoilers for this game before I ever touched it so I knew a lot of the main story beats, thoroughly. With Alfira, I did know that the dark urge kills a bard, but for some bizarre reason, the only clips I had seen were of that dragonborn alternative that you get if you cheat and Alfira is unavailable. So I was already at the grove, exploring around, and I absolutely fell in love with the tiefling NPCs, and THEN I discovered it’s actually HER who dies. I was DEVASTATED. I was so attached to the tieflings - both myself as a player, and my tav as well - this was the first settlement of people he found, post-brain-scramble, the first people who were being kind to him, and they needed help so bad, and he wanted so bad to protect them… and here is this awful thing that he does that I can’t avoid. AUGH.

3) The siege on the Emerald Grove. It continues to mystify me that this path is actually a bit hidden in the game, and if you aren’t paying attention you will be herded into just killing the three goblin leaders to resolve things, which is such a massively less interesting path. (perhaps they’ve made the option more obvious with patches? I will see) I loved the tension of the morning before the attack: everyone’s fear really bolstered my desire to win the fight with zero casualties. I loved how, due to my familiarity with the NPCs, I instantly realized that Mattis wasn’t with the other kids and searched all over the place, legit worried, until I found him up by the gate still trying to make a buck, lol. I loved how when they mentioned people had ran off in the night, I knew exactly who wasn’t there and who it had to be. It really made me realize how much I’d got to know the NPCs. Zevlor gets two amazing cutscene speeches, and the fight itself was so freaking fun. I mean it certainly wasn���t the hardest fight in the game at all, but I think it remains one of my favourites, due to all the different moving parts and the planning it involved. It was so goddamned fun getting to use the explosives I had saved up, and I never really had the chance to rig up a battlefield the same way again.

4) Lenore’s tower, and the whole underdark in general. I found it all so lonely, and Lenore’s tower really got to me. I think I shed some tears. I loved the area with the giant sussur tree, I thought it was so beautiful, I took so many screenshots of it. I know if you’re a dark urge your upbringing is… unconventional, but I still imagine that my drow durge has spent a lot of time in the underdark and generally considers it home-ish, so it was neat to see it and think about how this is his home turf.

5) Moonrise and especially the mind flayer colony underneath. This was really where things just started to get interesting for a durge, you start to get the first reveals of your backstory. For a resisting urge, it’s extremely unsettling. Meeting Kressa Bonedaughter was especially horrible. I hadn’t really spoiled a lot of the details of the durge plot, so most of this was a surprise to me. JK Simmons did a great job as Ketheric - I remember being so incredibly curious how he was going to sound, but it worked so well, and as I have noted previously, they spend ridiculous care rendering his sad old man eyes.

6) Gortash’s coronation. Again as a dark urge, this is an important plot beat, I think the last big backstory reveal? Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, not only do you have these horrible murderous urges, not only do you have this nasty little butler man trying to force you to kill people, not only did something horrible happen to you that wiped clean all your memories and turned you into a necromancer’s cute little pet for a while, NOT ONLY ARE YOU A GODDAMNED BHAALSPAWN and the leader of the goddamned Bhaal cult, NOT ONLY ALL OF THIS, NO, that wasn’t enough, oh no: now you learn you were also one of the original architects of the Absolute plot, removed only when Orin saw an opportunity to displace you. Dammmmn. Your companions all react to this information appropriately, so in other words, negatively. Karlach’s reaction is particularly strong, understandably, and hurt my heart. To balance that out a bit, you have Astarion’s reaction, which was… to thank you. If you hadn’t put this plot into motion, he wouldn’t have been abducted by the mindflayers, and wouldn’t have been rescued from Cazador’s control and given the means to resist his commands. 200 years of praying to every god, but it was you that saved him. I had honestly never even considered that, so that was… surprising! Really, really surprising.

7) Comparing spawn and ascendant Astarion - I didn’t play much with ascended Astarion, just spent a little time progressing through the next batch of cut scenes, just so I could see. I was really impressed to see the difference in the two characters, the difference in the writing, the difference in the performance. I enjoyed the visceral negative reaction I had to AA almost immediately, when we had our first camp chat post-ascension, and he SHOUTED at me when I was responding to him with… not even an angry or rude response, but just, a less-than-enthusiastic response. It was like ice water down my back, instantly taking me back to dealing with my abusive ex. I know everyone has a different and highly personal reaction to AA and I think that’s great, and I enjoyed how viscerally negative my reaction was. It’s fun when a thing makes you feel stuff! And I loved spawn Astarion, and how honest and vulnerable he is in his third act romance, thinking about his whole character arc and growth through the game.

8) Rescuing Minsc. It’s a bit of a long daunting set of steps to get Minsc, and I didn’t find it very fun tbh, but I did it anyways because I have to complete everything. I was fully expecting him to sit around camp and never be used, like Halsin and Jaheira are for me unfortunately, (sorry guys) but I was really unprepared for how funny he was going to be. I don’t really like ranger class (also sorry) so when I found out he can still summon Boo even if you respec him, I made him a barbarian, and kept him on my team as much as I could. He is now my second favourite companion to have with me after only Astarion. He has SUCH funny dialogue. I like that you can attempt to start a romance with him and he’s not having any of it. He even gets the opportunity to say a very touching speech as you gather your allies, if you let him.

9) Durge vs Orin fight. The actual fight itself was kind of pitiful, which I thought was sad for her, but it was a startling moment in the lead-up when she briefly changed into me and I actually heard my own tav speaking, like, more than just a little reaction line here and there, I got to actually see my tav speaking. I don’t know. I don’t know why that was such a neat thing to me but it was. Since this playthrough took so long, I really got attached to my tav, I guess.

10) Gather your allies. Ah, the big summary that I needed of all the people I’ve helped and made friends with, all saying something nice about me, haha. Not gonna lie, I reloaded and watched this a couple of times cause it made me so happy.

I’m so glad Larian made an epilogue, with so many sweet little details in it. I’m so happy I had a chance to play this. I don’t have a huge amount of current mutuals who are also fans, and my IRL peeps for some reason are absolutely refusing to finish this game, so please if you want to fangirl (fanperson?) about anything just start talking to me, I’m kind of starving over here!

[from-the-working-classman]

Ohkay! Hi, just cruising by, and you don't have take this into account, alright?

I have a relative who's had gallstones for 7 or so years before removing it, and let me just explain why and how that is.

When they first got the diagnosis the doctor was completely unperturbed about it ─ he just dismissed and said 'Oh yeah, you have gallstones, you should take it out'. Aside from the general diagnosis, they were pretty nonchalant about it (size and diameter is a big factor on whether you get pancreatitis, they never disclosed that), and after the pain stopped (a constant pain for 4–5 hours) they sent them on their way and that was that.

Everyone agrees he didn't need the surgery.

Some trial and error later ─ and by that I mean: 1. Eat something fatty, 2. It does not go down well. 3. Bam. Pain for 2–3 hours. ─ the general problem is narrowed down to: Many fatty foods, too much food in one go and fast food. Okay. So we cut those out.

And hesitantly, we leave the matter closed.

They started a food regime, you know, watched what he ate, and practised fasting more often.

He's admitted to the hospital three other times after the first scare, each progressively worse than the last. By the third time, when he checked into the ER around 2 am, the pain, even with the morphine they gave him, did not go away until the early hours of morning.

The doctor on call said his gallbladder was severely inflamed, but that they would not remove it due to surgical complications that may happen to arise ─ and asked him to come back after seeing a doctor for exams and a surgical recommendation.

Thing is, they're moving away. So they don't visit a doctor, move away and put the issue on the back burner, as you don't do.

Then he starts eating out more often, growing more relaxed, not watching out for dishes that he knows causes him issues ─

A year and a half later of no pain whatsoever, they just drive him to the ER with the worst pain of all pains ever ─ and everything falls apart. For four days, four whole days, after seeing a doctor and scheduling a surgery a week later, he can't eat any more.

Anything remotely solid is immediately rejected and leaves him in crippling pain. He can't sleep, can't even hold in some soup or broth ─ he checks into the ER on the second day.

The doctors look him over, claim his gallbladder is not inflamed or infected, state that his situation is hardly all that bad, give him some weak painkillers and say he is free to leave.

So they go home. He's still with pain ─ and by the next afternoon they drive him to another hospital.

It takes hours of begging, after asking a nurse they know to come check his situation, and of that nurse asking the surgeon on call to look at him, for the hospital to schedule him a surgery.

Divider by @cafekitsune

But the Lord Almighty is very merciful; his procedure took 5 hours (three more than i normal) due to an adverse reaction to the anaesthesia he was under.

When they returned for his checkup, the surgeon gifted him his gallstones (removed), looked him in the eye and said, very seriously: 'I do not know why the hospital denied your surgery. Your gallbladder was extremely infected and stretched impossibly thin. Had you not done this surgery, would have died'.

I do not know why they are called gallstones. They looked like fragments of sharpened rock, very fragile, very brittle.

I do not intend my writing to cause any sort of alarm to you.

Their situation was extremely dangerous because the problem's shelf-life was extended, and I not pretend to understand your medical situation.

My healthcare is not your healthcare, and I do not see any reason to do a surgery so soon.

My only advice is that you think about this again in one or two years' time ─ if and only if you are no longer troubled by this issue.

.

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 3

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language and violence Warnings: Choking (kinda) Summary: Local feral human makes a friend, tries to sleep next to local mean vampire, then gets a taste of their own medicine Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!

3: Haunt Me Dearly

What a lovely crimson mess I’ve made, you think, watching as the last of the bloody water drained from the bathtub. There were still several splashes of red along the sides, where you had leaned on or otherwise touched. Frowning, you considered whether or not to clean up after yourself. Surely it wouldn’t be one of your captors doing the cleaning? In that case, you think, I don’t want to make any enemies out of the servants. First you had to finish binding your wounds. Wouldn’t want to risk getting them dirty so soon after washing them, after all. Except you weren’t even sure that you could properly wrap them on your own, considering the positioning of your injuries.

“Ah, fucking hell…” You muttered, scowling a little. Then you remembered that Cassandra had sent a maid to wait outside the bathroom for you. Maybe they could help? Nodding to yourself, you threw on your new undergarments and pair of trousers, deciding to save the shoes for later. Once you were ‘decent’, you slowly opened the door, peeking out from behind it. Before long you were making eye contact with an unfamiliar woman, who looked very confused. “Any chance you could help me bandage my shoulder? I can’t do it without help, and something tells me Cassandra’s not going to lend me a hand.” With that said, you gave her a friendly smile, hoping to make up for the awkwardness of the situation.

“Of course! It is my honor to serve a guest of my Lady,” the maid- servant, maybe- said, giving a short curtsy. Admittedly you’re a little confused by her response. Still, you gladly welcome her assistance, moving back into the bathroom to grab the gauze. Although you intend to do as much as you can on your own, the woman is quick to take over completely. “Please, allow me,” she continued, carefully beginning to wrap your wounds.

“Are all the workers here so polite? I can’t imagine anyone actually enjoys working here, all things considered,” you mused, squinting at the middle distance. At that, the servant tenses up, clearly not expecting you to speak ill of her employers. Well, she had called you a guest. “Don’t be surprised, friend. Less than an hour ago I was fit to be consumed by ‘your Lady Cassandra’. Only reason I’m not dead right now is because of a stupid blood bond,” you explained, tone dripping with irritation. This time the servant doesn’t flinch at all, instead nodding slowly, taking a moment to let your words sink in. During this pause, you decide to introduce yourself, just in case the two of you might see each other frequently.

“I… see. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, no matter the circumstances of your presence here. You can call me Daphne, though I must warn you that I am not one for, ahem, gossip about my masters,” she replied, finishing her binding of your shoulder wound. Next she searched through the cabinet by the sink, looking for a medicinal salve of some sort. Once she found it she was right back to work. The substance stung a tad on your skin, but you could hardly complain, seeing as it would help fight off possible infections.

“You sure about no gossip? What if we call it ‘helping me get acclimated to my new situation’? I’m a fish outta water here, Daphne,” you suggested, turning your head to look her in the eyes. At first she ignored you, focusing on rubbing the medicine into your skin. Eventually she meets your gaze, briefly, and releases a quiet sigh.

“You are free to ask questions-” you start to celebrate, though not for long- “just as I am free to withhold answers. Though I may be more responsive if you can tell me one thing… Why was Lady Cassandra’s dress wet?” Daphne asked, making you freeze in place. Of course she wanted the one answer you didn’t feel confident about giving. She’s quick to notice this, though, and laughs to herself. “Well, I suppose some things must remain a mystery. Now let’s get your face cleaned up…”

-------------------------------

By the time you make it to Cassandra’s room, the sun is starting to rise, leaking in through the castle windows. Exhaustion weighs you down, making you want to fall immediately into the nearest bed. As it stands, that was none other than your soulmate’s, though it was currently occupied. For a moment you hover in her doorway, contemplating whether or not you should steal her blanket. Floor can’t be too bad, you think, right? Before you can decide you notice Cassandra stirring from her sleep.

“What took you so fucking long?” She asked groggily. Now she’s sitting up, blanket clinging loosely to her body, and you realize that she’s not wearing a shirt. Though a blush rishes up your cheeks, you’re certain it’s too dark for Cassandra to notice. Or at least you hope so. Wanting to think about something other than what she was (or was not) wearing, you focus your energy on responding.

“Isn’t it obvious? I got invited to a sick orgy on the way back, and I wasn’t about to turn that down, so…” You trailed off, gesturing idly with your hands. The movement stretches your shoulder more than you’d like, resulting in an ache that lasts several seconds. It distracts you to the point where you almost can’t catch the object Cassandra promptly throws at you. “What the hell…?” It’s a shoe, as far as you can tell, that definitely would have hurt, had it hit its intended target. “Such a lovely gift, babe. I will treasure it for the rest of my days, forever keeping it as a reminder that you-” your tone shifts from a false joy to deadpan- “are a piece of shit. Now, seriously, where am I supposed to sleep? Is there a walk-in closet I can camp in? Or do I get the bed, while you sleep in a fucking coffin or something?”

Before Cassandra has a chance to respond, you’re walking further into her room, wanting to take a quick look around. There’s a large dresser that you quickly toss her shoe inside, as well as a window sill with a built-in reading nook. Trading your tiredness for sheer dickery, you throw open the curtains, letting the light pour in (and nearly blind you in the process). Half of you expects your soulmate to screech in response. Maybe even turn to ash. Instead, you hear her moving, and you turn to find her laying back down, facing away from you.

“When you’re done fucking around, come over here and sleep. I will knock you out if I have to,” Cassandra muttered, still sounding half asleep. As much as you wanted to know if she’d go through with her threat, you are exhausted. Begrudgingly you approach the bed. It’s certainly large enough for two people, even having enough room for you to be completely separate from each other. When you start to climb in, you find yourself overwhelmed for a moment, surprised at the quality of the sheet fabric. Exactly how rich were these vampiric assholes? This room alone seemed to be worth more than you had ever known.

This was, perhaps, the one bright side to your situation: A comfortable state of existence. Well, as comfortable as one could get in a place like this. So lovely on the outside, a muse worthy of a thousand artists, yet hiding far darker horrors within… much like the woman you now found yourself laying beside. Why me? Why her? What could possibly bring the two of us together, you think, other than a cruel fate? There’s a pain in your chest, dishearteningly similar to heartache. Damning the universe, and your blood bond, and yourself, you think ‘fuck it’ before sliding closer to Cassandra. One arm drapes itself over her waist, while you slowly lean your head against her back.

In an instant she’s tense, not even breathing, waiting for you to reveal whatever trick hid up your sleeve. But no trick comes, just your hand meeting hers, squeezing softly. Suddenly the tension is gone. None remains, not even lingering in the air, and the two of you soon drift off to sleep...

-------------------------------

Shaking, body made a wreck through tremors, tears staining her cheeks. Breathing comes hard, each shift of her lungs bringing with it a mighty ache. Someone’s holding her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, fingers tracing circles against her back. But she’s lost in her dream, eyes clenched shut. Visions flash before her gaze like lightning in a storm. There’s no time to process, no opportunity to prepare for the thunder that follows. Every strike is a punch to the gut she can’t ignore. When release finally comes, it is not a gentle kiss to her forehead, or a reassuring hand on her own, but rather an intense surge of pain that jolts her awake.

Cassandra nearly screams as she sits up, hands reflexively going to hold her head. One of them stings, bad, and she notices what look like bite marks on the side. For a moment her confusion acts as a welcome distraction. Then she’s looking next to her, and the puzzle practically puts itself together. There you are, one hand in your mouth, an eyebrow raised as you stare at her. Ignoring the lingering memories of her dream, she turns all of her rage towards you. Quickly she grabs ahold of your arm, forcefully yanking your hand out of your mouth, even though it makes your teeth dig in a little deeper. It takes more willpower than she wants to admit to stop herself from strangling you right then and there.

“I didn’t know monsters could even have nightmares,” you taunted. Before you know what’s happening, Cassandra is lunging towards you, pressing her forearm against your throat. There’s just enough pressure to make talking difficult. Both of her yellow eyes are filled with hatred, aimed right at you, but you can’t help but laugh. “Ya know, I did try to wake you up nicely. I should have known you only respond to violence. Next time, though, I’ll remember to stay a safe distance away.”

“You don’t know anything, dipshit. Anyone else would know better than to spout so much fucking ignorance, but nobody taught you how to behave, huh?” Cassandra growled, applying more pressure with her arm, leaving you unable to reply (for once). “You’re a goddamn mutt, aren’t you? Thrown to the street like the garbage you are, left to live in the gutter, feeding off of trash like a fucking cannibal. You should be honored to be allowed anywhere near me. You should be worshiping me, for fuck’s sake!” Black dots form in your vision, a dark halo edging into the corners of your eyes, as your lungs beg for air. But you’re grinning. You’re showing your teeth, bright and proud, knowing full well that you have won this round. As soon as realization dawns on Cassandra’s face she’s pulling herself off of you.

Still, you are left gasping, clutching at your neck as she hurriedly gets dressed for the day. By the time you can see properly again, she’s left without another word. Even as she stalks down the corridor, eagerly rushing away from you, she hears your laughter howling through the castle. It digs into her brain, taunting her. Soon enough you’ll stop, light headed, but she will still hear it echoing inside her mind. You’ll haunt her just as much as her wicked dreams. Hopefully more.

[undercoveravenger]

Closing Cases

Written for my 2021 Halloween event

Pairing: EJ Caswell x Male!Detective!Reader

Prompt: EJ with a Nancy Drew/Scooby gang reader investigating something haunting the school and EJ steps up to help. With “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars” and “Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?”

A/N: This is prompt # 2 for my Halloween event! The next prompt will be posted Thursday, October 7th.

-------

East High was being faced by an unexplainable problem. Each night, lockers were being broken into and various class and club rooms had been found vandalized. The faculty had examined the footage from all of the security cameras near the areas that had been attacked, but weren’t able to see anyone in the videos; only that the halls looked normal in one frame, and had been trashed in the next.

As someone who had spent his entire childhood looking up to all of the great detectives, you took it upon yourself to get to the bottom of the situation. You had told Miss Jen, the theater teacher, that you’d be missing rehearsals one afternoon in order to conduct your investigation, but she had been the only person you told.

You supposed that was why it came as such a shock to find EJ Caswell, a popular senior and star of the water polo team and drama department, leaning against the locker beside yours after school.

You disregarded his presence, moving to open your locker and tuck away your textbooks.

“So I hear you’re not going to be at rehearsals today,” EJ said after a moment, turning to face you. “Care to share why?”

“I’ve got more important things to do,” you said easily. You knew it was kind of a weak response, but it was the first thing that’d come to mind.

He rolled his eyes, lips quirking up into a grin. “Yeah, we both do, I guess.”

That gave you pause. You turned to look at him incredulously, and you had to force yourself to ignore the way the amused glint in his pretty blue eyes threatened to make you smile. “Excuse me?”

“You’re investigating the break-ins, right?” EJ asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you.

“I’m not convinced that they have been break-ins, but yes,” you said, grabbing a different backpack entirely out of your locker and leaving the one with your school supplies in it before shutting the door. “Is there a reason you’re talking to me?” You turned away at that, making your way down the quickly emptying halls.

EJ scrambled to keep pace with you, weaving around the remaining students and faculty to stay at your side. “I want to help! I’ll be the first to say I don’t really have experience with investigations, but I want to help stop what’s going on.”

You let out a sigh, turning abruptly to face EJ. “Fine. You can help,” you held up a hand to interrupt him when he made to let out a victorious whoop, “But if you get in the way of my investigation, I will tell you to leave and you will listen. Do we have a deal?”

The brunet nodded vigorously, falling back into step beside you as you resumed your previous path, “Deal. So,” he said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “Where do we start?”

“Here,” you said as you came to a stop outside of a janitor’s closet on the second floor.

EJ’s brows furrowed in obvious confusion. “Our investigation starts at the janitor’s closet?”

You nodded, twisting the door open and entering the small room. You sat down, nestling your way between a set of shelves and several empty garbage cans. “Well, this is where we’ll be waiting until the time is right.”

“And when is that?” he asked as he crept into the closet with you, wincing as the door slammed closed behind him.

You snickered, pulling out your phone to set an alarm. “Well, the thief only strikes at night, right? They’ll probably emerge at around nine o’clock, which means we have,” you glanced back at your phone, “About five hours to kill.”

“Five hours?” EJ asked incredulously, blue eyes wide as he looked at you. “What the hell are we going to do for five hours?!”

“Well, I was going to play games on my phone since I wasn’t planning on having company until a few minutes ago,” you said, glancing pointedly down at the device. “You’re still more than welcome to leave, if you don’t want to wait?”

EJ shook his head stubbornly, shifting to sit with his back against the opposite wall from you. “No, but my phone definitely isn’t going to hold up for that long.” He paused, thinking, “Maybe we could play twenty questions while we wait?”

You shrugged, figuring that humoring a cute boy wouldn’t kill you. “Alright, sure. But since it was your idea, you have to go first.”

He smiled widely, clearly delighted that you’d agreed. “Okay!” He hesitated for a moment while he thought, but a question seemed to strike him pretty quickly. “So, do you make it a point to hang out in sketchy janitor’s closets often?”

You barely managed to bite back a snicker, but the upward tilt of EJ’s lips made you suspect that he knew about your poorly concealed amusement. “I do when my cases require it,” you said by means of explanation, but you found yourself elaborating further at the confused-puppy expression on his face. “Today’s a Tuesday, which means that the cleaning staff isn’t in tonight, so no one will be checking this closet for stragglers like they would the library or a classroom. Waiting in here means that I’ll be able to remain in the building after the doors are locked, which means that I’ll be able to find out if anyone else comes into the building after it’s locked down for the night.”

“Wow,” EJ said, eyes wide as he processed everything you’d just said. “You put a lot more planning into this than I would’ve thought?”

“What, you thought I’d just wing it?” you teased. You had to admit, you were enjoying his company far more than you had anticipated. “I like to think that I take my job pretty seriously.”

He gestured wildly with his hands, like he was trying to wave away his previous words. “No, no, no; that’s not what I meant- I meant that-” He cut himself off as he noticed you beginning to laugh, “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” He faked offense, but the appearance of his dimples gave away his amusement. “Fine, you got me.” His grin widened as he looked at you, “Alright, Mr. Holmes, what’s your leading theory?”

You let out a thoughtful hum, “Currently? Vengeful spirits.”

EJ let out a surprised laugh. It was deep, uncontrollable and infectious, and you were helpless to hide the grin it brought to your face, though it faded after a moment, “You’re serious?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what else to think,” you started softly, fingers twisting nervously in your lap as you were forced to admit that, for once, you really weren’t sure about what the outcome of your case would be. “Any normal person would have been caught on camera, and the only people in this city that have the ability to manipulate the footage to make it look like no one was there either wouldn’t care enough to do it or they’ve got an alibi.”

EJ’s brows furrowed, “And none of them could have lied about the alibis?”

“Mr. Mazzara could’ve, I suppose,” you mused, “But I double-checked it with Miss Jenn and it sounds legit.”

“So ghosts then, huh?” he prompted, scooting a little closer to you until his knees brushed lightly against yours. “Seems like a little bit of a leap in logic.”

You shrugged helplessly, a tired grin forming on your lips, “I am running on two hours of sleep and fifty tiny candy bars. Ghosts weren’t the least probable option, if I’m being honest.”

“How would you even get rid of a ghost-” He stopped as the rest of your statement caught up to him, “Wait, you’ve had fifty candy bars?!”

“Just the little ones.” You said, waving off his concern and checking the time on your phone. “Depends on the type of spirit, but I’ve talked to some sophomores who practice witchcraft and they say that sage and pure intention to banish it should take care of whatever we’re seeing, as long as it’s a normal ghost or spirit. I just want to eliminate any other options before I take action.”

“Can we go five minutes without talking about ghosts, ghouls, or goblins?” EJ demanded, taking your phone from you and setting it aside so he could get you to focus on him, “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself,” he said quietly, normally bright eyes turned stormy with concern, “You’ve got a lot of people that care about you-”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Like who?” At his stunned silence, you pressed on, “Everyone at this school thinks I’m a weirdo. You don’t think I’ve heard people call me Scooby-Doo or Nancy Drew or Sherlock?” You shook your head, pushing yourself to your feet as your frustration mounted, “This was a mistake. I’m leaving; I’ll solve this case on my own.”

“Wait,” EJ exclaimed, shooting up to his feet and grabbing your wrist to stop you from going. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?” you asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow as you looked up at EJ. “About what part?”

He nodded seriously, eyes locked with yours, “About no one caring about you and about everyone thinking you’re weird.” He took a deep breath, and, for the first time since he’d joined your investigation, you watched his confident facade falter. “I care about you,” he started softly, like he was afraid to finally say it. “And I really like that you’re so passionate about solving mysteries.”

Your brows furrowed as you turned to look back at him, “You… like that?”

“I like you,” he said, so quiet that he was barely audible, but when you didn’t pull away he continued, volume picking up as he did so, “I really like you and I can’t believe I get to help you do something I love, and that probably sounds pretty dumb since we don’t really know each other that well, but I would really like to get to know you better and maybe even take you out to dinner sometime if that’s okay with you?”

It took you a long moment to find your voice again. “Okay,” you found yourself saying as you tugged your wrist from his grip to link your fingers with his instead. “Okay,” A wide smile spread across EJ’s face and you could feel an answering one as it tugged at your lips, “When we close this case, I’ll let you take me on a date.”

“Really?” he asked, like he almost expected you to tell him it was some cruel joke. He let out a breathless laugh when you nodded, “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked joyfully, tugging you towards the door by your joined hands. “We’ve got a case to solve!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you were led out into the long-abandoned halls of East High, glad to have finally found someone who matched you. After all, all the greats came in pairs; Daphne had Fred, Sherlock had Watson, and now you had EJ.

[captnjacksparrow]

I wish people would stop caring about the canon pairings and marriages in Naruto/Boruto because they should have absolutely no relevance for SNS shippers in terms of validating said ship. Those who say we are delusional because “Well, Naruto married Hinata so she is THE one he loves!” (I'll focus more on Naruto's marriage here... Is Sasuke's even a marriage?) simply don’t get that it just doesn't really matter who Naruto and Sasuke married because that in no way diminishes their feelings for each other. The main plot of the series revolves around the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. It is their story. They are each other's most important people and this was established back in Land of Waves arc even before the dramatic events that take place on the bridge - the whole point of that very first arc was making this a fact right from the beginning, because the story has always been and was always supposed to be about the two of them and the profound love and understanding that grows between them ever since they exchanged glances, smiles and pouts as lonely little broken kids. No reason to list all proof of their feelings and bond here, it has been done extensively, and if somebody watched the show/read the manga and missed it, they are missing half a brain. That these boys love each other more than anyone else is absolutely obvious.

So what about the canon pairings? Kishimoto stated time and time again that his focus was never romance, and that is not because he can't write romance as we know it (he clearly did), but it’s a matter of concept: what HE considers romance is the attraction that unites people with the purpose of marriage (confessing your romantic love for japanese people is the same as saying you want to be in a relationship, because feelings shouldn’t be voiced without an intention), and that, to him, is NOT the greatest expression of love, nor does it represent the most special bond two people can share.

It is understandable that westerners put so much weight into marriage because we consider it the epitome of love. Well, the truth is marriage in Japanese culture is mainly the only socially admissible means to have children and has very little to do with romantic love. In fact, in Japanese literature, it is much more common for unmarried couples to love each other than married ones. Obviously, there is no absolute truth when it comes to feelings and human relationships, what I'm doing here is generalising social norms and expectations (not exposing my opinion on them - that would turn this rant into something else entirely). A large number of Japanese marriages are loveless (and arranged, but no point getting into that either) and what motivates choosing a spouse is their ability to fulfill familial duties, meaning: is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? Is the man willing and capable of putting his occupation above everything else, working extremely hard and for long hours, with total dedication and diligence for his job, to the point of not even seeing his family most of the time, as an honorable man should do as a provider? That's what makes a GOOD married couple: two people following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family (again, please, this is not MY opinion!). What a Japanese man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children.

Do these descriptions ring any bells?

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true. Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it, and trying to discredit the obvious unmatched connection and feelings between two characters because they never got married to each other or married someone else is ludicrous. Yeah, a married couple can love each other deeply and above anyone else, but that is just not what marriage is ABOUT in Japanese culture and definitely not what Kishimoto wanted us to believe was the case here after dedicating 699 chapters to a story about the special bond between two boys that didn’t culminate in marriage. 

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Are more bells being rung?! 

Oh, some bonus info: We also tend to associate sex with romantic love. Well, Japanese married couples with children rarely have sex, if at all. After a woman becomes a mother, she is no longer considered sexually desirable and becomes a mother figure to her husband as well (what happened to Hinata’s big "attributes" in Boruto? Huh). This is especially true when couples sleep in separate rooms and the mother shares a bed with her children. (Hinata co-sleeps with Himawari and we know Naruto sleeps in a separate room. Just saying.)

What's your say?

Is Sasuke's even a marriage?

Geezz!!!! LoLLLLL!!!! This sentence just made me cackle so hard for a good 5 minutes, Anon!!!!!

Hmmm.... So let's get back to your ask.

Well, I don't know how to react to this ask, Anon. Because, I don't know whether you are from Japan or you have a very close Japanese friend who might've told you all these cultural thing about marriage and relationships.

So, what I am going to do is to analyze from the facts you have provided , combine with my own cultural relevance and provide my answer. If there is any Japanese readers who are reading this, you can confirm or dispel this by sending me an ask. But again, I don't want exceptional case like, 'No, my family is different'. I want to know about the general lifestyle of a common citizen and their married life.

Having said that, this ask made me just yell at myself, 'Goshh!!!! Seriously???'

Because whatever you said, It fucking exist in my country too and is still followed by almost 70% of people in my country and I absolutely detest it. That is,

Most of the marriages here are loveless nd arranged - Check

Is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? - Check

People following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family - Check Check

What a man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). - Check Check

Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children. - Awww!!! A million Check.

That's why I was envious of Western people in this aspect, because they have a freedom to choose their own partner without any time constraints and when they do, their marriage can be said to be 'The Epitome of Love'.

My parents marriage is also an arranged one. And whenever they have disagreement and that leads to verbal war, they let out this words, 'I'm here with you because of my 2 daughters otherwise I would've left you long back'. So... Yeah. Here, most of the marriages are child-centered. Again, it's not just my opinion. Majority of the arranged marriage based family revolve around their child.

And I was born, a year after my parents' marriage, and If I hadn't been born, then people will question my parent's fertility factor and start to discriminate them. So, I can boldly claim that, I was not born out of Love or something. I was born because of social obligations.

But it doesn't mean, my parents don't love each other now. How should I say???? It's like a Stockholm Syndrome??!!!! Like when you stay with a person for a long time, you will eventually start to develop some feelings over the course of the time. It took them 15 years to come to a complete understanding of each other. It's the same case with many couples here.

Considering all these, Sasuke never even stayed with Sakura enough to make her understand him, So I wonder what kind of couple are they????? Weird!!!!!

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true.

Awww!!!! Man, Seriously???? I made this claim long back in this post where I said, these women were used as a tool to bring out Next Generation Kids. My claim was based on Analytical Perspective.

And then one of the rabid SS stan reblogged my post and pulled out a hetero card stating, 'They are married and blah blahh...' when in reality, I never discussed about their sexuality in that post. That post was purely based on the number of pages each hetero couples shared with each other against the number of pages Sasuke & Naruto shared together.

Now, you have provided a cultural perspective for those shitty canon pairings.

On one side, I feel the need to smirk, because I am right.

But on the other side, I feel bad like, 'Is this how, this show must go on?? What are you trying to convey from this?'.

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Hmmm.... It's interesting to know this. Anon.

This is where it differs slightly in my country.

Romantic love here is,

No matter what happens, I'll stand with you, You are just not alone. I will leave my fucking clan, parents, relatives if they don't approve you and we will start a new life somewhere.

[[Here, marriages happen mostly between their clan members. If you love a person from another clan, you will be ostracized or tortured or honour killed by your very parents. It just differs from clan to clan. I was subjected to this same problem and that's why I hate my Clan and left my parents. And this is also one of the reason why I love Itachi. Because we share similar Ideals. That is, Not to be obsessed over your clan and think beyond this restriction.

Also, here in Asian Culture if someone is willing to leave their family (when they don’t approve you) and prefer you over everything.... It means.... that's some Love beyond Comprehension. Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his Family (like Sakura and Kakashi) and like to stand with Sasuke... Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his own family and go on a long mission with Sasuke]]

So does it remind you of anything?????

It's the whole SNS dynamics starting from their childhood to VoTE2. That's why I started to ship SNS, because it represents the true love we always wish for.

Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it

This is very true, Anon.

I mean, they don’t even have to take a groundbreaking route. 

They should have given everyone an open ending, just like Kishi left at chapter 699. What is the need of a marriage, if Naruto is going to adopt Kawaki??? If Orochimaru was going to create a Baby Artificially?? If Rock Lee is going to have a child out of nowhere???

But I am happy that SNS bond is the only one that wasn’t diminished in this hot mess called Burrito. So, atleast we should be happy about that.

When someone pulls the marriage card, I just block them immediately because they are not even worth having a good conversation. NH will pull out the Last movie and SS will pull out, ‘Sasuke called Sakura ‘My Wife’.... So, it’s just pointless.

So, to conclude

Considering my Analytical perspective, I already made earlier in other post and your ask which provides some insight about Japanese culture which eerily resembles the culture I belong to, It all makes sense that this whole pairings and trash is just for the sake of bringing out Next Generation series and those boys never loved those girls whole heartedly. And I agree with you on this.

[derangedhyena-delphinidae]

numerous issues with “The Aftermath of Seaworld”

When I get time to do so (aka when I’m done with the documentary), I’m likely going to make a video version of this going into the details. 

But for right now, I’ve made this. Both as a guideline for me and so everyone can begin to get an idea of the severity of issues involved.

Researching things is time-consuming and can be very difficult - believe me, I know. But I’m of the mind that if you’re making content with the intent of educating people, you have a responsibility to perform a certain level of due diligence. It IS okay to express uncertainty or doubt if you have it. It is NOT okay to confidently assert things that you do not know with certainty.

The video has an anticap slant, and I’m obviously not disagreeing on that front. But again: if you’re gonna go through the trouble of teaching people something. Bare minimum... please make sure it’s actually correct. *** 1) x ‘founded in 1964 and based out of Florida’ -  ???? Seaworld definitively began on the west coast, in San Diego, CA. And given that the first park opened in early 1964… things came together before that. Uh? 2) x ‘four people founded Seaworld [...]’ For one… it wasn’t originally conceived as a restaurant, it was originally conceived as an underwater bar/lounge. Two… calling the four guys involved in founding the place “frat brothers” is fucking ridiculous and completely overlooks a) how each was actually involved and b) the overall significance of their contributions to the field as individuals. Hint: like it or not, they were important and did a lot! 

3) x If one is going to bring up SWBGCF/rescues while talking about the literal founding of SW, it gives the impression that it’s been around for that duration. It hasn’t.  It’s actually a bit unclear when SW started an organized rescue program, but the Fund itself and all that it did came about much later. The rescue information and how it’s presented is actually INCREDIBLY complex, nuanced, and has a fascinating history (from a “bad company behaving badly” perspective). Oversimplifying this, to this degree and in this misinformative way, does the facts of the situation an INCREDIBLE disservice.  

4) x [assertive statement about what the name Shamu means]  ….Uh actually there’s several explanations for the name Shamu, and the most likely one IMO seems to be the “she-namu” one, not the “friend of Namu” one(? What is this even based on.) 4b) It’s not quite clear if she’s saying “Namu was the first ever orca to be displayed and perform shows” or or Namu was the first to be displayed and, like Shamu, performed shows. Either way, Moby Doll was the first to truly be displayed to the public, not Namu.

5) x ‘Namu died after one year in captivity and you’d think that this might deter Seaworld from doing the same thing again…’ Seaworld truly had nothing to do with Namu. And they leased/took possession of Shamu before Namu died. ‘Again’? What?

6) x “Now, PETA paints a pretty disturbing picture…” [while showing Okura’s artwork] This video segment is, and this is putting it nicely, a pile of poorly-researched BULLSHIT.  -Yes, PETA talks about Shamu’s capture, re: the harpooning of her mother. This Youtuber cannot apparently be arsed to look more than 1 Google search into this, as she proceeds to dismiss the information as potentially fabricated. There are two detailed accounts of Shamu’s capture that I’m aware of - in books - and though they have some slight conflicts, it’s absolutely NOT in doubt that the female who was very likely Shamu’s mother was 1) harpooned, 2) died from her injuries and 3) this had been done to make her easier to catch/locate because there was a fucking buoy attached to the harpoon. Which she dragged around for at least 24 hours prior dying.  So maybe don’t dismiss that as PETA hysteria, maybe TRY to determine the truth of the matter, which would inform one that it is both true and completely horrifying.  -In addition, Okura is an awesome individual who has worked very hard to create a variety of informative artwork for our cause. Okura is NOT associated with PETA and it’s borderline libel in my eyes to use their artwork in this dismissive manner when the primary sources of it can be easily identified online, with full explanations and everything. Do I take special offense to this because of the misuse of artwork? Absolutely. Artists get disrespected enough online. I’m tired of it. This kind of laziness IS NOT acceptable.

7) x ‘timeline is fuzzy about when Shamu died’ …………… it’s…. It’s really not … newspapers are pretty clear about it…..

8) x [complete and utter oversimplification of the lifespan issue, which is not acceptable for anything published in 2020. It just isn’t. If you’re going to bring it up like this, either do the legwork and get into the weeds or stay out.] 8b) [same for reproductive ages. sigh]

9) x if we’re going to talk about when Cornell was involved with Seaworld it’s very important to specify when Cornell was involved with Seaworld and not make it seem like it’s present tense.

10) x “both were rescued by Seaworld” - uh? no. Zero orcas have been rescued by Seaworld. Literally none. The infected-jaw orca was Sandy, whose story is complex and certainly does not involve Seaworld until much later. And many of the orcas in that time period had bullet wounds, often only identified post-mortem because they didn’t seem to hurt the animals much. Also, unflinchingly blending 70s captivity ethics with modern ones is also complete nonsense? 

11) x [tilikum coming from sealand] inhales I am going to make an entire video centered on this fucking subject because it’s one of the single most profound arguments for Seaworld being garbage as assessed by US government agencies in the 90s yet everyone utterly fails to mention this. Why?!

12) x what on earth is this nonsense re: quoting a quote from Zimmerman’s article - which has already been removed from its original context, so the original context is not available - and then penalizing the quote for existing as if Zimmerman’s article were the context? That is offensively disingenuous. I honestly don’t know what the original context is, either - but it’s wildly inappropriate to act as if the Zimmerman article is.

13) x this is relatively minor but ‘Paul Sprong’? You literally have his name on the screen. And then mis-reading his age too? While asserting it from a static article published years ago? Effort? Where is it?

14) x ‘another trainer, Peter’ ….. Ken Peters…. 

15) [weirdly glossing over the widely-available list of orca-trainer injuries/aggressions, despite it being central to the point.] 16) x This pilot whale outrage certainly happened but it was pretty clearly Blackfish that started the cascade of woes for Seaworld. Who has ever asserted this?

17) if you’re gonna just rehash blackfish, tell people to go watch blackfish.

18) x I’ve already gone over the context issue with Seaworld calling out Howard’s statement in Blackfish here (point 23). Which is to say, IN CONTEXT in Blackfish it’s clear what Mr. Garrett is talking about but, divorced from that, it sounds incorrect. But this Youtuber AMPLIFIES the issue by doubling down on the assertion with “no record of a killer whale doing any harm to anyone in the wild.” The surfer event should always be mentioned. Yes, there’s absolutely room for doubt. But there’s also a clear demarcation between an accidental attack (eg mistaken identity, as was likely for the surfer) and intentional one (eg the incidents at marine parks.) Why do people kneecap themselves on this point 18b) please stop acting like Luna represents orcas in general.

19) x “Howard, for all of his research…” … while referring to David Duffus’ b-roll and statements. Uh. 20) x Apparently this Youtuber has single-handedly resolved the dorsal fin issue. You know, the thing that hasn’t been properly researched ever, that has been subject to a ton of debate, that isn’t 100% settled for a variety of reasons, and almost everyone talks about in terms of theories and likely possibilities.  21) x Alexis Martinez wasn’t “torn to shreds.” In a space where even moderate exaggerations are often penalized harshly by the opposition, this kind of blatant nonsense is not welcome. Plus, the reality’s bad enough… you don’t have to make anything up!

22) x *sighs. points at own webpage*

23) Talking about the shows stopping without acknowledging how that’s a bit of a farce is something else. In addition to apparently just flipping to buying what Seaworld’s selling re: its ‘improved image.’ 

*** Tl;dr video is so unrelentingly full of errors ranging from small to egregious it makes me seriously concerned for the veracity of the rest of this person’s content. The maker of the video provided a list of their sources in their video description, which I will have time to look through in detail later. The above is solely a response to the information they present IN THE VIDEO - which, is very important because let’s be real: a lot of people are not going to look at the list of sources. People don’t even do it when citing papers (no really, you’d be surprised, fml.) For anyone who wants to whinge that I haven’t linked or asserted any sources of my own for my claims… well, remember what I said about time-consuming and ‘I’m busy’? Yhea. Getting all of that together will be part of making a video. So if you want to shrug loudly at my list here… you can, that’s your prerogative, I’m happy to say I DGAF if that’s your takeaway. 

What I hope, is that if there’s anything I’ve made clear over the While of running this blog, it’s that I don’t fuck around when it comes to sources and information and do my best to provide what information exists, all of it, not just cherrypicked bits and bobs. Anyways. Here’s step 0 at least. Please don’t share that video. Pretty please.

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

i am incredible

summary: these two sluts were not as sly as they thought they were being

warnings: so much smut. cheating discussions. anal shit. choking. that daddy stuff.

word count: about 10,250

pairing: andy barber  x reader

a/n: (never again will i pick a song to use if it’s unreleased but honestly, you guys weren’t even supposed to like this. i didn’t know anyone would want more than one chapter) part 1, part 2, part 3

You weren’t sleeping, you’d just been pretending for all of five minutes before Andy got too impatient. He kissed your cheek and you didn’t move. He kissed the corner of your mouth, your jaw, your collarbone, and you didn’t move. Then, he pressed a soft, wet, open-mouthed kiss to one of your nipples and your body instinctively arched up for more.

Pulling away, he chuckled.

You finally opened your eyes, sighing. “Seriously?” He’d woken you up several times throughout the night. Since it had always been with his fingers at your clit, you decided not to complain.

But now, six in the morning, you were just shy of exhausted. How did he want to fuck you this many times? It seemed a blur now, you truly could no longer put a number on how many times you had been wrapped around his cock.

He didn’t say a word, just proceeded to repeat his actions to the opposite breast.

“Daddy,” you breathed.

He glanced up at you.

“Fuck me.” Okay, so, yes, he was waking you up a little too often but that didn’t mean that you didn’t like the reason behind it. Besides, each time, he’d rolled you over on top of him. You didn’t want that, you wanted him pinning you flat down to the mattress with his body, fucking you in all the ways he promised he would.

Smirking, he placed his hand on your hip to get you on top of him.

You grabbed his wrist, shaking your head. “Like this, fuck me like this.” You took his hard cock in your other hand, pulling him toward your pussy.

Slowly, he sunk into you, watching your face to make sure it wasn’t too much for you to handle.

“Fuck,” you breathed, “fuck, fuck, fuck—” Still such a tight fit. You were sore, especially between your legs, but you couldn’t stop wanting more of him. It made no sense to you, you’d never experienced need like this. You’d never wanted to fuck someone after you’d already fucked them. All the losers you’d been with before, the idea of being intimate with them after sex made you sick.

When he was pressed flush against you, you brought your hands up to his shoulders. “Daddy, you feel so good.”

“Yeah?” he muttered against your cheek. You smiled as he kissed all over your face. You were getting used to his beard against your skin, it might have still hurt, but you were starting to like it.

You nodded. “Yeah.”

At that same agonizing pace, he pulled his hips back and you whimpered as his cock slipped completely out of you. The next second, he slammed back in. Your scream was one of surprise and pleasure, a sound you immediately tried to clamp your mouth closed on. You clung to him, arms wrapping over his shoulders and he smirked. Andy was a man who needed to be needed and you more than fit that bill.

He repeated this several times. The sound of his skin slapping against yours, your wet pussy eagerly taking his cock, your shameless moans, his gravelly grunts.

“Choke me, daddy.”

One of his hands came up, circling your neck. He thrust harder to elicit those same desperate sounds from you, the ones so loud even lack of oxygen couldn’t stop them from spilling from your opened mouth.

He fucked you like this until you were coming, a slow, gentle end that left you shaking underneath him. You theorized this had to be reaching the 20 range in this small 24-hour time span. It was a lot, more than you could wrap your mind around, you trusted him. You knew Andy would take care of you, so you never once asked him to slow down.

As your head rolled back, as he continued thrusting into you for his end, he kissed all over your jaw and his hand tightened. You always knew what that meant, his hips began to snap up harder as further proof. Soon, he was spilling into you, grunting softly, as you touched him wherever you could reach.

He kissed his way up your skin back to your mouth until you had to break away because you just couldn’t stop smiling. “You good?”

You nodded. “The best I’ve ever been.”

He glanced down and sighed, preparing to move his body from yours. “I’m gonna wake up before you again, and I’m sure I’ll be hard. Again.”

“Good. Fuck me awake.”

He looked back up, eyebrows lifted. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I might have to fuck you again after hearing that before I can fall back asleep.”

You snorted. “Well, I have no objections to that.”

It had been three weeks of pure bliss and you just couldn’t stop smiling. Ever. For even a second. Well, obviously you were busy doing other things with Andy, but whenever you were alone, grocery shopping, taking Jacob for a walk, anything else, you were smiling like an idiot.

You’d only seen Jacob a handful of times. Andy knew he couldn’t keep this up much longer. People were going to notice that you were at the house, but Jacob wasn’t. He just wanted a little bit of time with you.

But with Laurie being gone, you had to be extra cautious. You couldn’t show up at his work, especially not without an assignment as an excuse like the last time. That meant Andy had to indulge your fantasies as well as he could at the house.

He was working one morning but promised he would let you know when he was done. For nearly an hour, you were naked on the bed, peering into your closet for an outfit. Only, his text came before you had located that slip of lingerie and you had the bright idea to forget clothing completely.

Besides, once Jacob was back, you’d never be able to do this. You walked downstairs to Andy’s office, shameless, naked, with obvious impure intentions.

He stopped typing as soon as you opened the door.

“So…I need legal advice.”

He scoffed. “Cute.”

You moved in, pressing the door shut behind you. He shifted and swallowed audibly, eyes glued to your swaying hips as you moved closer. “But I am very poor…there’s only one way I could think to pay you for your time.”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed back in his chair. It was an invitation for you to climb on top of him. You straddled his lap, using his shoulders for balance, and immediately, your mouths connected. Andy’s hands roamed along your thighs and ass, and you ground your cunt against his cock until he was hard.

You set your feet to the floor and stood only to tear his pants out of your way. You were about to toss his belt aside, but he pulled it away from you. After you pulled his cock out from his pants, you watched his face as you crawled back onto his lap.

“What are you doing with the belt, daddy?”

One hand grabbed your hip and he jerked you closer before his hand moved down to find his cock. He didn’t say a word as you started to slide down his length.

Your head rolled back, a moan breaking the silence of the room as soon as you were seated on his lap. Your favorite thing in this world was having him this deep inside you. It felt like he was part of you, it made you forget that he wasn’t truly yours.

“Daddy, what’s the belt for?” you whined impatiently.

“Does my little girl want to be spanked with it?”

“No,” you claimed, looking back at him. But it was a weak protest, one that held no sincerity. Before he’d brought it up? Never crossed your mind. Now? Your skin was practically burning with the desire to be hit with it.

“No?” he scoffed before he leaned in to kiss you again. He took both your hands arms and brought them behind you. You didn’t say a word as he started binding your wrists with the belt.

You simply nipped at his lip and he pulled back to see your face. You wanted to ride him. That was the plan, not you getting tied up.

He saw that little pout that was starting on your lips and grabbed your waist. “It’s okay, princess. Daddy’s not going to let you fall.”

You figured out how to use your knees and thighs to pull your body back up. You bounced up and down on his cock, the chair squeaking underneath the weight of you both, a noise easily quieted by the noises pouring from your open mouths.

Andy kept a good hold on you, fighting his urge to take control. He wanted you to have your fill of this fake office fantasy, using his cock to pleasure yourself until you needed him to be in charge. But he knew he was going to need something else, hence the belt. He just needed to wait.

With your orgasm, you stopped moving. You let your pussy rest around him as you fell against his chest. He gave you the time to come down, petting your hair and whispering about how beautiful you were.

He waited for a sign that you were firmly back in reality, a sign that came in the form of you kissing his neck. That had been your little way of telling him you were ready for more, whatever it was that he wanted to give you.

He started to stand but didn’t pull out until he was on his feet. He let you settle on the ground the same way before he grabbed your hips and turned you away from him.

You didn’t wait for him to push you down, instead, you bent yourself over the desk and spread your legs wide. You didn’t care how cold it was or how uncomfortable turning your neck was. You simply waited as his hands roamed your body. He stared with your hips, leaning over to kiss your back, down your spine until he reached the curve of your back.

He pushed back in fast, your pussy echoing wetly around the intrusion. Your face felt hot, but he paid no mind to your humiliation. He grabbed the belt around your hands and pulled you down the desk a little. With space to move you, he used the belt to push and pull you along his cock. It was fast, hard, almost animalistic the way he used you.

One of his hands curled around your pelvis tightly, his fingers rubbing firmly against your clit even as he continued to fuck you with his hold on the belt. He knowingly stimulated your clit the entire time, pulling finish after finish from your exhausted body.

By the time he spilled into you, your voice was raspy with overuse, your throat ached, the muscles in your legs were burning, you were drooling all over the desk, and you knew your cunt had been dripping everywhere. You were a complete mess and he had never found you more beautiful.

It wasn’t that you thought this was going to be a summer of pure sex and you weren’t going to have to lift a finger. You remembered why it was even possible that you were staying with Andy, you remembered why Laurie had trusted you enough to allow you in her home. You weren’t stupid.

Maybe just a tad unrealistic. You had thought you were just going to be able to dive right back into it with Jacob. You hadn’t considered the fact that he had aged since you last cared for him, entering a much different phase of development that you weren’t familiar with. You hadn’t considered that there would be changes in his mood and behaviors because he missed his mom.

Not that he was saying that, he probably didn’t even know that. It was just that this was the hardest morning you had ever had with him. In fact, it was the only hard morning you’d ever had with him.

Not simply because he wanted to fuck you, Andy had enrolled Jacob in a neighborhood group. You had listened to them both speak about it a couple of nights before at dinner, but Andy had sent you a text and well…you were incapable of focusing on anything but that text and what he promised for that night. It was the first time he had to use the gag.

Regardless, Jacob was half an hour late. He was currently in his bedroom, screaming at the top of his lungs and you had no idea why. He was never like this with you. He never acted out at all. He was perfect to the point of your genuine confusion about why others didn’t want to babysit him.

Andy was going to be annoyed with you. You had one job. Why couldn’t you do this one simple thing and make sure Jacob got to his stupid club meetings on time?

It was almost fifteen minutes later after you finally had the kid dressed that you thought maybe you’d be able to get him there for half of the meeting. They called them meetings, didn’t that mean it had to be some type of weird boy-scouts thing? You had no idea, just assumptions.

Regardless, on the way out, he had another meltdown. He was in the hallway, screaming again, when Andy found you in the kitchen leaning on the counter with your face buried in your hands.

“Hey.”

You startled, turning back to him. “Andy? What are you doing here?”

“I got a call from Derek’s parents. They were wondering why Jake didn’t show up.”

“They couldn’t hear?” you scoffed, attempting to make light of a situation that was causing you extreme distress. “It’s fine, I’m so sorry. I should have texted you—”

“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t need to leave work.” You tried to move around him, but he caught you by the shoulders and settled you in front of him.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. Go back to work.”

“Stop,” he said softly, but it was final. He wasn’t going back to work until he got to the bottom of this.

“Nothing,” you repeated. “Okay? He’s just having a bad morning.”

“Take a minute,” he directed, sensing the stress you were feeling. “Just breathe, okay? I’m gonna see if he’ll talk to me.”

Much to the pleasure of your ego, Jacob did not want to talk to Andy. He simply screamed and cried until he fell asleep. Andy carried him to bed and came downstairs to find you trying to drown yourself in a cup of coffee.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

He made his way to you, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you into his chest. “What happened?”

“I don’t know…he’s never been like that with me. I’m sorry, I’ve dealt with this a million times with other kids, I was just caught off guard.”

“It’s okay.”

You sighed, pressing your face against his shirt. “I feel terrible that you had to leave work.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed the top of your head. “But I do have to get back.”

Of course. You were expecting that, but you still hated hearing it. “Five minutes?”

He hummed, pretending to think about it. “How about ten?”

You finally hugged him back.

He left you with a kiss and a promise that it was all okay. You felt useless. You never thought your relationship with Andy would take you away from Jacob. It was supposed to be the opposite. But then, weren’t you fucking his mom’s husband, his married father? You knew even Jacob would hate you if he found out. Anyone in their right mind would.

Jacob had slept nearly the whole day, save for the one brief period of consciousness when he asked you to make him lunch. You were still tense, wallowing in how useless you felt. But just before he was heading back upstairs, he hugged tightly at your legs and muttered an apology before scurrying off.

A few hours later, you were getting ready with your door opened, just in case Jacob woke up again. You were kind of hoping he would, knowing you would have an actual excuse out of this. But no such luck, Andy showed up and Jacob was still out, and now you had no reason not to go to the party your boyfriend begged you to attend.

You’d nearly forgotten how to do your makeup, a struggle you had just finished when Andy found you.

“Hey,” he started, eyes immediately taking you in. He wasn’t just staring, he was trying to piece together your actions. You hadn’t done your makeup or even gotten dressed up since your first day there.

You were in a tiny skirt, a tight top. You wondered if that would bother him. It never had before, but then, that was before you had sex with him. “Hey…Jacob’s been asleep most of the day. I made him lunch, he seemed fine, but then just right back to bed.”

He nodded, leaning against the doorway. “You going somewhere?”

“Yeah…um, just a party.” Which sounded stupid and immature to say to him. You didn’t feel your age anymore. The people your age were seeking things out that you had already found in Andy. Why did you want to hang out with them? “Unless you need me here. I can stay—”

“No, no. You deserve a night off.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You know, I’m his dad. I’m not completely helpless.”

You scoffed. “No, I know, but I’m here for a reason…I don’t want to just leave—”

“It’s okay,” he insisted. “Whose party?”

“Um…Lily’s.” Now, you did feel like you were your age. You knew he didn’t much like Lily and he didn’t like that you were friends with her. He claimed she was a sneak, self-serving person. You figured you did not want the back story behind that conclusion of his.

He hummed. “Right. The one she throws every year. I usually have a few parents calling me afterward, vaguely asking me how likely it is their children will end up doing time for the stupid shit they do there.”

You started wringing your hands. Yeah, the party was usually horrible. People had sex with people they shouldn’t, there were fights, cheating, drugs. All of that, stuff that never really bothered you, things you were simply uninterested in.

“But I know you haven’t really talked to anyone but me for the past three weeks, it’ll be good for you to get out.”

“I’m fine just talking to you, though,” you promised. “You’re not terrible company.”

He smiled. “Just be safe, and call me if you need anything. Okay?”

You nodded and then he was turning to leave. “You’re not going to kiss me?”

He scoffed, keeping his back to you as he stopped in the doorway again. “If I do that…I risk not being able to let you go.”

After all the things he’d done to you, that shouldn’t have been able to give you butterflies. Yet, it did. You stood there, biting your lip and smiling as he rushed out of the room. He hadn’t told you that you looked beautiful, but that was more than enough to give you all the confidence you needed to face your overly critical friends.

Hours later, you returned much later than you had planned. You hadn’t intended to stay with Lily to clean up, but you ended up being there near the end and it was clear no one else was going to help. Once she asked you about the huge fight with your boyfriend, you knew it would just be better to stay behind a little. You had to vent before you went back to Andy.

Three in the morning but he was still awake, so was Jacob. At three in the morning? You weren’t trying to be judgmental…but, what?

“He’s sick,” Andy explained. “A fever…I don’t want you catching it…”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I get every vaccine I need to stop these walking germs from getting me sick.”

He scoffed. “A positive way for a babysitter to talk about children.”

“Y/N,” Jacob called out, pointing to the screen. “Finish the movie with us?”

You had sobered up a little so you were sure you would be able to. You made your way to the couch next to Jacob and he detached himself from Andy to lay his head on your hip. You pressed your hand to his forehead and made a sympathetic noise when you felt how hot his skin was. “Oh, baby—goodness.”

“It’s okay,” Jacob promised. “Because you’re here and you’re my favorite person and you’ll make me feel better, and my dad is going to come home early every day until I’m not sick anymore. And he’s one of my favorite people, too. Sometimes.”

You sent Andy a smug smile and he arched an eyebrow back, amused. You knew it wasn’t like he wanted you to be Jacob’s mom, but he must have felt something deep and twisted over the fact that you were in his home, caring for his son who he loved more than anyone else in the world. Andy was a domestic man who you were sure was affected by you behaving in domestic ways.

He used his son’s distraction as an opportunity to really watch you. He knew something was off—you’d walked home instead of calling him or getting a ride from your loser boyfriend, you had your heels in your hands when you showed up, and your makeup was missing, cried off or faded with something else—but it was clear that he wasn’t going to find out what that was for a while.

Jacob immediately started filling you in on the movie and Andy paused it to get something from the kitchen. He returned with a plate of Jacob’s favorite fruit—cantaloupe, weird kid—and a glass of water for you.

If you hadn’t been so tipsy, you might have been able to figure out the movie. Instead, it was just a bunch of noise and movement that you could hardly focus on. It was hard being back in that environment. You felt that you didn’t fit in with those people anymore, that your life had changed so much, but you also felt a little lonely. You couldn’t stop seeing your friends.

Before Andy went to put Jacob to bed, he directed you to get in the shower. By the time you were getting out, he was just making his way in. He wrapped you up in a fluffy towel and kissed you until you were dried off. “You good?”

You nodded. “Mhm.”

He was extra careful with your hair before he slipped you into one of his shirts. Much to your surprise, he didn’t ask anything else, he didn’t even speak. He simply put you to bed and explained that he had a couple of emails to answer before he could turn in with you for the night.

When you woke up, it was morning. You put on some leggings and rushed downstairs. You usually woke up at 8 to get ahead of Jacob. Apparently, Andy had woken up extremely early to make breakfast, a plate of pancakes was left for you, next to a note explaining Jacob was at Derek’s again and he would pick him up on his way home.

Derek was sick as well and Derek’s mother, Dina, was staying home anyway and offered to take Jacob. That was one family you never babysat for. The winter of 2018, Maya, a girl two years older than you had fucked Derek’s dad and Dina found out. It was a huge thing and since there wasn’t going to be a divorce, Dina refused to let anyone babysit for them ever again. Any time she had a conversation with Laurie and Laurie would suggest you take the kids so they could spend some time together away from their motherly jobs, it was clear that Dina didn’t trust you. She also got super judgmental toward any of the mothers who needed help. So yes, you were just a bit annoyed that Andy had taken him there.

When Jacob and Andy got home, Andy said he had work to do in his office. You and Jacob spent the rest of the day watching pre-approved scary movies. Since Jacob was sick and couldn’t stay awake for longer than 30-minute periods, it was a pretty quiet afternoon.

When Andy finally came out of his office, it was to check on you and Jacob. He carried his son upstairs and told you to get some rest. You thought that was strange, you thought he would have wanted to talk about the party. But since he promised to join you in a couple of hours, you didn’t protest.

When you woke up the first time, the clock informed you that you’d only been unconscious for about two hours. Andy wasn’t in bed yet, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay conscious enough to go look for him and lure him into bed. Instead, you used your energy to get into the bedside table because tired or not, you were always thinking of ways to tease Andy.

The second time, it had been a total of nearly five hours and Andy still wasn’t in bed. Regardless of if you were sufficiently awake, now you were just worried. You got yourself out of bed and headed downstairs, finding him on the couch in front of the television again.

“Daddy?”

He turned to you, sitting up straight. “What’s wrong?”

You almost smiled. Of course, his automatic thought would be that you were seeking him out because something was wrong. Well, something was wrong, it had been too long since he was inside you, but you were sure that wasn’t what he meant.

“Nothing. What are you doing down here?”

“Just can’t sleep.”

“Well…you could be upstairs with me,” you pointed out.

“Looked like you needed rest.”

“I need you more,” you assured, moving closer to him. “Always.”

“Come here.”

You needed no further prompt, stopping just inches away from him. He curiously watched as you took his hand and guided him under the shirt. He thought you were going to lead him to your pussy, but you went around, letting him feel the plug that you had slipped in earlier that night.

He yanked his hand out of yours and grabbed your ass.

You gasped, hand flying up to your mouth to keep yourself quiet. Jacob was here, this wasn’t even supposed to be happening, but neither of you were going to say no at that point.

He gripped your skin tightly until you whimpered softly, then he got a hold of the plug and slowly pulled it out.

You brought your free hand back to grab his forearm for balance. Your legs shook as he gently pushed it back in. “Daddy, fuck.” You were so deliciously stretched and worked up since you’d put the plug inside you, desperate for him to make you come.

He did this several more times, careful not to make you cry out too loud, but enjoying how much easier it was becoming each time he did it. He stopped only to move his pants out of the way, keeping only his boxers on. He made sure the plug was settled inside you before he pulled you in to sit on one of his thighs.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned against him. “Are you worried about a case, daddy?”

“No, just not tired.”

“But you’d tell me if there was something wrong?”

“It’s not your job to take care of me. It’s mine to take care of you.”

You frowned, pulling back to look at him. “Why can’t we take care of each other?”

“Come on, don’t be argumentative tonight. Did you have fun at the party?”

You scoffed, settling back against him. A conversation for later, apparently. “No…not really. I…I guess I just kind of missed you.”

He hummed. “I missed you, too…but you shouldn’t cut your friends out of your life.”

“Those aren’t my friends. They’re just my parents’ friends’ kids… I’m not trying to ignore them, I’d really just rather spend time with you.”

He touched your face and you turned, nuzzling against the palm of his hand. “You didn’t have any fun?”

“Well,” you admitted, “I don’t hate everyone.” Besides, Lily had gotten really drunk really fast and was trying to fight with some high school dropout that was several years older than everyone because he was trying to prey on some freshman girls.

He hummed as he removed your arms from his neck. He then took your waist and turned you forward.

“What are you doing?”

“You wearing panties?”

“No…I was hoping you would eventually join me.”

“I’m sorry for getting distracted.” His hands started at your thighs and you instinctively pulled them open more.

“Daddy, please.”

“If we do this…you’re going to have to be very quiet, baby.”

You nodded. “I will, daddy. I promise I’ll be so quiet.”

“I know you will, baby girl, because you’re such a good girl. And good girls don’t lie to their daddies, do they?”

“No. Never.”

“Did he touch you?”

Your eyebrows pulled together and you looked back at him curiously.

“Your boyfriend.”

“Oh…no.”

“You need to tell me. You got here and you were upset, and I can’t help if you don’t tell—”

“No, it wasn’t that… We broke up.” Though you simplified it, it was anything but simple. He had cornered you at the party, and you were scared he would cause a scene, so you suggested going upstairs. He thought that meant sex and when you informed him that was the last thing on your mind, he began accusing you of cheating on him.

He said he wanted to break up. Obviously, you didn’t want to put up much of an argument. He didn’t deserve what you were doing to him, no one did, no matter how much of a dick he could be. Cheating was cheating, two wrongs didn’t make a right, that meant you weren’t about to manipulate him into continuing the relationship.

Even after all the terrible things he said, you only cried for two reasons. First, your alibi was gone. If you weren’t dating him, that would open the door for questions about your romantic life. Second, you realized you were always going to need an alibi when it came to Andy. Because he was married. He was older than you. He had a child. To some people, you were just a child.

You spiraled a little, overly emotional because of the alcohol. You were just wondering what all of this meant. When Laurie got back, what? Were you guys over until the next time she was gone? Were you going to have to get yet another boyfriend just to hide again? Would you have to go back to just texting every night?

“Oh…and you were upset about that?” He seemed a little bothered by the idea of you caring about your boyfriend. After everything.

You made a face. “No, definitely not.” It was hard to care about someone who talked to you the way he had at the party. Though, not all of it was completely unwarranted.

“Then I’m lost, sweetheart.”

“I just…I just feel bad for lying. I feel like a bad person, I guess.” Now, that was not untrue. You were not lying to him. But you could not, under any circumstances, explain the emotional episode you had worked yourself up over to Andy.

“You’re not a bad person.”

You were. What cemented that was that you were more upset about having to hide your affair than the fact that you were having an affair.

“You know I think you’re the sweetest little girl,” he reminded. He kissed your face until you couldn’t help but smile.

“I know,” you confirmed.

“I don’t want you worrying about any of this, okay? It’s on me. I touched you first, I started this—”

“It’s cute that you think that.”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Excuse me?”

“Andy, come on. You had to know, all those times in the car, that I was wearing the tiniest skirts, acting like I had no idea that they were moving up—”

“You tempted me but I was the one who took the bait,” he insisted. “Baby, it’s not on you. You’re not married, I am. You don’t have a child, I do. And I know I shouldn’t feel this way about you, but I do. I’m the one that’s wrong, okay? Not you…you…are perfect.”

You kissed him. “I don’t think you’re a bad person either, though.”

“I know you don’t. You’re too nice for that.”

“You think I’m nice, daddy?” you teased, one of your hands moving inside his boxers. You took a hold of him and he sighed sharply.

“You can be a brat, when you put your mind to it,” he admitted. “Like this stunt with the plug. I never gave you permission to do that.”

You merely shrugged. “I don’t want your permission.”

“You better watch yourself. He will be gone soon enough, and I’ll spank your ass red, baby.”

You hummed. “With the belt?”

He kissed your cheek. “I’ll get more creative if you keep mouthing off.”

You smirked, pushing your hips up his thigh. It was a little awkward getting him out of his boxers and inside your cunt, but once you had managed, you were both moving on pure instinct and need. He touched you everywhere, through the huge shirt you were wearing because he wanted to tease. You rolled your hips slowly in that deliberate way that you knew made his ability to control himself just snap.

It was only minutes later that his hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing hard enough that you knew you wouldn’t make enough noise to wake Jacob. Andy took his other hand and held you inches above his lap. He drove his cock up hard, slamming into you ruthlessly until you were both coming together. Your mouth dropped in a silent scream, a choked whimper the only sound you could manage, as he pressed his face to your back and groaned.

It didn’t take long at all, must have been withdrawals from having gone more than a few hours without him inside you. He didn’t stop, though. In typical Andy fashion, he kept fucking you until he was soft. His cum had spilled out of you onto your thighs, his, and the couch.

When he let go of your neck, you took huge, grateful breaths. You couldn’t stop yourself, you knew you were about to say something stupid, so stupid, but you wanted Andy to know. You reached one arm back, hand pressing to the back of his head and you turned back to see him. “Daddy…”

“What, baby girl?”

“I think…I think I lo—”

He cut you off with a fierce kiss until you were breathless again, pulling away only when he had sufficiently rendered you incapable of speaking for a moment. “I know, baby,” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. “I do, too, so much…but we can’t say it. Not right now. All night, I’ve been thinking the craziest things…if you say it, I’m sure I’ll just lose my mind and do something we’ll both regret.”

You waited for a moment, until you were sure your voice wouldn’t crack. “When?”

He frowned. “One day, angel, I promise. Okay? Just give me a while to figure this all out.”

You nodded. Of course, he had to think this all through. He had a life, a child, and even if he didn’t love Laurie anymore, he still had a lot to lose.

“What are you thinking?”

You thought for a moment. Your mind was racing, you were thinking a million things. You’d nearly told him you loved him, you’d never said that to anyone. You had almost convinced yourself that he would be furious that you allowed yourself to get in this deep, but the fact that he was right there with you was a huge relief. But that wasn’t the most pressing thing on your mind. “That this summer is going by too fast.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I haven’t talked to my parents once…and I wish I could keep it that way for the rest of my life.” But eventually, you would have to return home.

“I think I should get you an apartment.”

You looked back at him, eyebrows pulled together. “What?”

“An apartment,” he repeated. “So, you don’t have to stay at home anymore. I know you were thinking about getting a job at the end of the summer…I don’t want you to. I want to get you an apartment and just let you figure out what it is that you want to do. No pressure from your parents or your friends.”

“Andy…I don’t know.” That would be kind of hard to explain. How was someone without a job going to afford an apartment?

“Let me take care of you. Please.”

“We’ll talk about it later, okay? When it gets closer.”

“Okay,” he relented. He glanced down at the mess you’d both made of the couch. “Shit.”

You scoffed. “Your fault.”

He kissed your shoulder. “You want to get up?”

“No, not really.” You took his arms and pulled them around your waist. “I want to stay here forever.”

“We can’t even stay here another hour.”

“No, I want to fall asleep here. With you inside me.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, laying against his chest and setting the back of your head on his shoulder. “Yeah.”

“Then what?”

“When you’re hard again, you should fuck me, but don’t wake me up. I want to wake up full of your cum and imagine all the ways you used me.”

That did nothing for Andy, the idea of fucking you while you were unconscious. He knew it was a kink for some, but he wanted you responsive. However, hearing that you would allow him to do this to you, that you were placing that much trust in him, did do something.

In a second, he had his hand back around your neck and his other hand at your pussy, hurriedly rubbing his fingers over your clit. He turned his head, his lips finding yours, swallowing those tiny sounds that managed to escape you.

Jacob was still sick a few days later and since Andy was at work, you were bored. He was sleeping it off and that left you downstairs trying to watch television. Your mind was moving with all this time alone, you thought about Laurie and what was going to happen. You thought about what people would say about you, about Andy. It would be terrible if anyone ever found out.

But what if they didn’t because nothing changed? You knew how you felt for Andy, but how long could you do this? How long could you fuck him while he was still with his wife? These were things that you hadn’t suspected you would care about. You were stupid then, acting purely out of your own selfishness. You just knew you wanted him so badly. And you were sure you always would, but you couldn’t do this forever.

You’d set your alarm for when Andy was supposed to be home. You didn’t want him to catch you watching those trashy true crime shows, he would surely side-eye you. It hadn’t been that long when you heard someone on the porch. Turning off the TV, you checked the time. It wasn’t time for his lunch break, let alone time to be home.

You headed to the door, peeking out the window at the side. Lily was standing there, arms crossed, pacing. You pulled open the door, leaning out just slightly.

She let her arms fall to her sides. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here? I can’t have anyone in here if I’m the only one with Jacob.”

“No worries, it won’t take long. Can you step outside for a second?”

“Is everything okay?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

You hesitated at first, concerned that Jacob would wake up and go looking for you. But your curiosity was the reason you went outside with her. You guys weren’t best friends, you had no idea why she would ever show up here to speak to you. “What’s up?”

“You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?” But just like that, your heart was pounding. You felt like your legs were going to give out on you any second. Your stomach was twisting and your face felt hot, you were going to be sick.

“Mr. Barber,” she clarified. “You are fucking him.”

There was no way anyone in the world could possibly know. You scoffed harshly, feigning irritation. “You are out of your mind. Is this why you came here? This is not okay. I am working and you are wasting my time—”

“You haven’t been talking to any of us, and after your breakup…it seemed weird. I was talking to him and—”

“Why were you talking to him?” you demanded. “You’re supposed to be my friend, not his.”

“He said he thought you were cheating on him, and I told him that wasn’t possible. I told him that you seem so happy and so in love, and I realized that that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in love with him. I babysit for the Yoo’s neighbors, Y/N. I know Jacob was there for days and you were here.”

“No, that’s not happening. You’re projecting because you sleep with all of the father’s you babysit for—”

“Yeah, I do, so drop the innocent act because I know it’s bullshit.”

“It’s not. Andy wouldn’t do that.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” she claimed. “And I believed that, for a while…but he’s human. And if he cares about you, he definitely would.”

“He doesn’t, he’s in love with his wife—”

“Yeah, what about her?” she demanded. “What are you going to do about that? Is he going to leave her?”

“No!” you blurted out. “Because nothing is happening.”

“I’m not planning on telling anyone,” she promised. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Well, it’s not happening.”

“I already know, I can see it on your face!”

“You need to leave.”

She grabbed your arm before you could run inside. “Listen, I just wanted to check on you, okay? I know how you are; I know that you don’t do this often, and that means that you have to honestly care about him. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You can’t be here. Ever again.”

She pulled her hand back. “Fine, I will go, and I’ll never say another word about this. But when this blows up in your face, you know where to find me.”

Without another word, you disappeared inside, locking the door as soon as you slammed it shut. You were panicking. What were you supposed to do? Should you tell Andy? What if it was for nothing? What if she meant it and she wasn’t going to tell anyone? You didn’t want to get him worried for no reason.

But you also didn’t want him to be caught off guard, but the last thing you wanted was for him to be upset with you. Would he think that you were being careless? Would he think you let her know on purpose? Laurie was a looming problem, you didn’t want him to think you did this to force him to deal with it.

“Was that Lily?”

Startling, you whirled around and found Jacob in front of the fridge. “Hey, what are you doing down here?”

“Got hungry.”

“How long have you been awake?”

He shrugged as he pulled out the carton of milk. “Not long. Why was Lily here?”

“Oh…um, she just wanted to talk.” You moved into the kitchen to look for the cereal. Jacob couldn’t reach it on his own.

He sat down at the table and waited for you to join him. You poured the cereal and the milk into the bowl in front of him, forcing yourself to remain calm. “Why did she ask if my dad was going to leave my mom?”

You looked at him, shaking your head. “She didn’t. No, she wasn’t talking about your dad or your mom.”

“Then who was she talking about?”

You stood up to get him a spoon. “I can’t tell you that…it was one of your friends and I don’t want you to worry or anyone else to worry. You know Lily, Jacob.”

“Yeah…my dad says she gossips.”

“She does.” You sat back down, handing him the spoon.

“So, my dad and my mom are still in love?”

“Of course. Why would you ask that?”

“They used to fight a lot.”

He hadn’t told you that, but this needed to end right now. This all needed to stop. “No, they’re fine. Sometimes…adults just fight, but that doesn’t mean anything. I don’t want you worrying about this, Jacob, okay?”

“I’m not worried.”

“Good.”

“No, I mean…I think it would be cool if I had two houses and two bedrooms. My friend, Dylan, has divorced parents and he said they both buy him whatever he wants. My dad wouldn’t buy me a pet snake when I asked him last week.”

“Okay, well, sorry to disappoint you because your parents are staying together. You only get one house and one bedroom, and you are not getting a pet snake.”

He sighed. “I was going to name it after you if you were on my side.”

You couldn’t ask Andy anything about the fights with Laurie. You wanted to know, you wanted to get an idea of how he felt, if he had only done this with you because they were fighting, or if it was something that you had caused. But to ask, you would need to tell him Jacob told you.

And why would Jacob tell you? You would have to answer a lot of questions that you didn’t want to. It was better to pretend that this just wasn’t happening. No one knew, as far as Andy needed to know. You’d known Lily since you were four, you were sure that she meant it when she said she wasn’t going to tell.

You didn’t need to act like the sky was falling just yet.

When Andy got home, you were just getting out of the shower. Jacob had fallen asleep again and from his past few days, you figured he would be out for the rest of the day.

He smiled as he made it into your room, pressing the door shut behind him. “Hey, baby.”

You sat on the edge of the bed and held your arms out to him, hugging him as soon as he was in your reach. “You have the strangest kid in the world, just so you know.”

He became very still. “Did he do something?”

You leaned back to look up at him, eyebrows pulled together. “What?”

“He just…sometimes…acts out. You saw him the other morning.”

“No, that was a temper tantrum, Andy, all kids have them. But I’m referring to the snake he wants. He told me, that if I had been on his side in that argument, he would have named it after me.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, he says some…colorful things sometimes.”

“Yeah.”

He leaned down and kissed your forehead. “What about you? What else did you do today?”

“Just watched TV.”

He hummed, hands coming up to the tucked-in part of your towel. You let him unwrap it from your body and laid back as soon as you were naked. He stared at you for a moment, one hand coming up to touch your face. He started at your cheekbone, sliding his fingers down your jaw, your neck, your chest until he was at your breasts. He closed his hand around one, pulling back to pinch your nipple, and did the same to the other.

You liked fucking Andy, but you hated having to be quiet. You reached down and he gave you his hand. You brought it up to your lips first, kissing his palm before you led him down to your neck.

As he wrapped his hand around you, his fingers continued moving down your stomach, until he was at your cunt. You opened your legs for him, and he slowly pressed two fingers inside you. Your eyes fell shut and you rolled your hips, urging him deeper inside you.

“I could watch you like this, naked, coming for me, for the rest of my life.”

Not that that really cleared anything up. It only reminded you that he cared for you, the same way you cared for him. But you weren’t a child, you knew that sometimes, love wasn’t enough.

“I just want to know why you didn’t tell me; I want to know why you treated it like some huge secret.” Andy had been going on for the past ten minutes, appalled at the idea that you would keep any secrets from him.

It wasn’t as if this relationship started on the best note. You were both supposed to be committed to other people enough that you wouldn’t have been involved with other people. And no, you weren’t saying that either of you were terrible people who never deserved happiness, but he should definitely reframe his expectations.

If you could partake in an affair, you could keep a secret.

“Do you have an answer?” he pressed.

You could remember a time when car rides with him were a lot more pleasant. Crossing your arms, you turned to glare out the window. “You know why.”

“Because you were ashamed.”

You turned back to him. “No, because you’re a snob!”

“I’m a snob?” he demanded. “Me?”

“Yes, you!” You rolled your eyes, changing the radio station.

He gave you a warning look as he went to change it back.

You turned it off. “And you’re judgmental.”

“I am not,” he argued. “I am a lawyer. If I wanted to judge, I would have.”

You made a face. “You would never win that election. You’re a jerk.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“What someone watches on television is their own business!”

“It’s dramatized trash.”

“You’re a snob!” you repeated. “A Crime to Remember has won an Emmy!”

“That is not as good of an argument as you think it is.”

“Do not speak to me like a lawyer,” you warned. “Do you want to argue, Andy? Do you want me to go round up a fucking judge and a jury?”

“I’m the best lawyer in Massachusetts.”

You glared at him. “Thank you, I now know what I want to do with my life. I’m going to law school and then I’m going to become a lawyer and you know what? I’m gonna ask Neal to be my mentor.”

He looked at you, shocked that you would say that to him.

You shrugged. “I bet he wouldn’t judge me for watching true crime shows.”

“How far does this go?” he wondered. “Do you watch those terrible Netflix documentaries?”

“They’re not terrible! Okay, you know what? We are done talking about this. Why is this drive taking so long? I thought we were picking up Jacob.”

“We are…later tonight.”

“Then where are you taking me?”

“You watch true crime shows, haven’t they prepared you for this?”

You glared. “Andrew.”

“No, don’t call me that.”

“I’m not calling you daddy. My daddy isn’t a snob.”

“Your daddy is going to punish you tonight if you don’t quit with the attitude.”

“My daddy,” you said again, “tells me where he’s taking me.”

It was only seconds later that he pulled into a parking spot in front of this apartment complex you always drove by on the way to the nearest shopping mall. See, you knew that he wasn’t going to drop the apartment topic, but you did not suspect that he would ambush you like this.

“Andy…”

“Look, we have to talk about this.”

“We did, and I said we would resume the conversation when Laurie was almost back.” This was not a solution; it just created more problems. Maybe you should have told him about Lily, maybe he would have felt the need to be a lot more discreet about all of this.

“She called.”

You turned to him. “And? What does that have to do with anything?”

His hands were still on the wheel and he wouldn’t look at you. “She’s coming home early.”

Early. Wow. It seemed like it was just right around the corner but at least you were going to have time to come to terms with this. At least you were going to be able to make the best of your last days. The best did not include arguing about television. And now you were going to have to argue about this stupid apartment. These were expensive and they were close enough to him, but still, it wasn’t ideal.

“Oh… When?”

“Soon.”

You wouldn’t be getting a more specific answer than that. You both stayed silent for several moments, and you had no intention of ending that. He could have told you this before. He didn’t need to lie and bring you here and then throw the news on you like that. Was he just planning on moving you out and starting this stupid apartment plan?

You were supposed to have a month left, an entire four weeks before she got home. Why the hell was she coming home early? She had seemed excited for the work trip, whatever it was. You couldn’t remember anymore.

“Say something.”

You scoffed. “What do you want me to say?”

“Just be honest.”

“I’m upset.”

“I know, I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“I’m not upset with you, Andy.”

“Why don’t you want this apartment?”

“Because…I just…I don’t know. I just wanted everything to stay like it was. I…wanted everything to pause.”

He set his hand to your thigh, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “I understand. Will you please come inside with me? Will you at least look at it?”

“I guess…” You shrugged. “I guess we don’t have many other options.”

It was just an apartment. Were you supposed to fall in love with it? You didn’t like the picture that you were getting from it. The living room, you would be waiting there every day for Andy to possibly sneak away and come see you. And for how long? An hour at most, before he had to get back to work or get home to his family. The bedroom was big for nothing. It was a bedroom for two people. The same with the kitchen. It was too big for you, you would get lonely in a place like this.

No more than 50 words were exchanged between you and Andy. He was mostly speaking to the woman giving the tour, and you lagged behind them like a miserable child about to throw a tantrum. You hated this beyond comprehension. You hated that she was coming home early. And you hated Laurie, which made you feel terrible.

It wasn’t her fault, none of this was. But you didn’t want to go home, and you didn’t want to have to live alone. You blamed this current predicament on her even though you knew that was irrational and out of line. You were fucking her husband, you were living in her home. But you were still so angry.

The drive was silent as well. He tried to hold your hand, but you pulled away from him and turned to stare out the window. You didn’t want to take it out on him, but then, it wasn’t like you could or should take it out on Laurie. Maybe you should call Lily and just be a bitch to her.

You were out of the car as soon as he parked, storming to the door. It wasn’t a completely logical plan since he needed to unlock the door.

“Are you going to speak to me?” he inquired after he opened the door.

“I don’t appreciate being ambushed like that.” You stormed in and started pulling your jacket off.

He assisted you, figuring the denim getting stuck on your sleeves would only further annoy you. “If I had been honest, you wouldn’t have gone.”

“So, that makes lying to me okay?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

You turned to him, glaring. “What are you saying?”

He wasn’t sure what he could say that would make you feel better. This was terrible and he knew it, but you weren’t the only one that felt that way. It wasn’t like he was going to be happy with the new arrangement. He liked seeing you every morning and every night, he liked falling asleep next to you.

“Look at you two, fighting like a married couple.”

It was Laurie’s voice and you and Andy instantly froze upon that realization. You turned to your side, finding her at the dining table. She had her hair in a bun, not an ounce of makeup on her face, but the red lines in her eyes told you the glass of wine in her hand couldn’t have been the first.

“Hey,” Andy greeted. “I thought you were getting here next week.”

“I lied,” she asserted, her eyes flitting between you two. “I wondered if I would walk in on you two actually having sex or if it would just be something like this. Something so sweet and domestic, in my god damn home.”

“Laurie,” Andy started, “I don’t know—”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to deny it,” she scoffed. “Please tell me you’re not a complete piece of shit.”

He fell silent at that.

She turned to you. “And what about you? Are you going to be honest?”

“Laurie…I’m sorry, I don’t know what you have been told—”

“Do you know who told me?”

Fuck, if it was Lily, you would hit that bitch.

“It doesn’t matter,” Andy cut in. “This is a conversation between us. She doesn’t need to be here.”

“Your boyfriend,” she went on. “Ex-boyfriend now. He wasn’t sure but he had a suspicion, and then I called around everywhere and found out about Jacob being gone while the both of you were here…but see, I still believed nothing was happening. I still thought my husband would never do this—”

Andy stepped in front of you. “Laurie—”

“Then I went upstairs and found everything you bought her, all the sex toys, the lingerie—”

This was the worst way this could have played out. Seeing the bedroom, everything in it, must have been earth-shattering. There were handcuffs, gags, the red paddle that Andy was dying to try out. You had wondered if that would happen tonight on the drive over, if you were being bratty enough. That was what was going through your mind. The one thought you’d never had was that Laurie would have to see the room.

Andy looked back and you started urging you out of the house, despite your protests. When the door was shut, he handed you his keys. “You should go.”

“No, we should both talk to her.”

“No, you shouldn’t be here for this. I did this, I don’t want her blaming you—”

“Stop, I don’t need you to protect me—”

“Hey, we are not debating. You are not going to be here apart of this. I will call you as soon as I can.”

You shook your head as he started putting his keys in your hand. “No, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you with this. You weren’t the only one.”

He touched your face. “Go to the apartment, okay? Please. I will call you soon.”

“Andy—”

He cut you off with a rough, short kiss. You were stunned silent when he pulled away, but he knew you still wanted to argue. He knew you didn’t feel comfortable leaving the scene, and he knew what you needed to hear to have faith that he would handle this situation and go see you as soon as he could.

“I love you.”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

“I know now is a bad time to say it, but I do. I love you. Please.”

You finally took the keys. “I love you, too.”

“Go to the apartment, okay?”

“Okay, fine.” You hurried to his car and he didn’t go inside until the car was out of his sight. Shit, this was everything that you didn’t want to happen. This was everything that you both were so careful to prevent.

You pulled over to check your phone. Laurie said that she called everyone and if she had done so while she was drunk, you weren’t confident that more people didn’t know. You weren’t expecting to see texts from your parents, but as soon as you read them, you knew you were correct.

The last message from your mother after nearly thirty between them ordering you to get home or to call, was, tell me this is not true.

You were not going to that stupid apartment, that much you knew.

chris tags:

@onetwo3000 @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @donutloverxo @kleohoneyao3 @cevans-fics @gotnofucks​

incredible tags:

@evansislife​ @ilovetheeagles​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​

[hacked-by-jake]

In case no one has formally asked you yet, a part 3 of Jake being hot for 1 minute straight? 😄 I'm seriously addicted 🙈

Love your work, dear!! ❤

Headcanon

Summary: And another 25 things that show how hot jake is.

> Part 1 / > Part 2

A/n: First of all, thank you very much for your sweet words! @dreamer-writer-fangirl❤️ I am very happy that you like it and I hope that this part is just as good.🥰

And also many thanks to you, dear Anon. I’m very happy that you want a third part.❤️

So, thanks to the wish for a third part, we are here. This time it became a little more difficult to find things so that’s why it’s only 25. But I hope it’s okay anyway. 😅

Same as always: excuse the mistakes.

So, Have fun, stay healthy and take care of yourselves.❤️🌹🎭

Jake is a night person, and he has infected you a little bit with it. You have this particular place on top of a building in Duskwood where you’ve spent tons of romantic, funny, passionate evenings. You just love to talk about everything that comes to your mind. Being open and honest.

Jake will help you cook a lot. You always listen to loud music, dance (ok, mostly just you), tease each other, laughs, sings the lyrics aloud, and sometimes it ends with you not getting to finish the food

Jake sometimes uses really bad flirt attempts, he knows they are bad but he finds it far too amusing. 'Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come in again?' - 'We should go showers together, that saves water" even if he makes fun of it, you love these little jokes.

If something doesn’t work the way Jake wants it to work, sometimes he gets pretty pissed off. He then looks for your closeness every time, just wants a hug or a kiss and distracts himself with you.

Jake has a habit, sometimes, when he want to tell you that he loves you, that he asking you before if you want to hear a secret and whispering it in your ear afterwards.

Jake always kisses your forehead twice before he falls asleep, even when you’re already asleep.

Since Jake doesn’t like to go swimming when you go to Duskwood’s lake with the group, you once went swimming together in the middle of the night (A/n: I think I want to write a OneShot about it lol) Only the light of the car has given you light and you have spent hours at the lake.

Jake has the ability to notice when you’re having nightmares, whether he’s in his study or sleeping himself. He’ll wake you up and calm you down. He will always suggest you to talk about it and will always listen to you no matter how tired he is.

Jake hates arguing with you, and luckily you don’t argue much. But once, when you were really fighting, he became totally hysterical and panicked. He was afraid that this argument would escalate even further, but he was able to end the dispute quickly, even if it was accidentally. He suddenly asked in the middle of the conversation, 'If you keep yelling at me like that, can we go outside?' You were completely perplexed and looked out the window where it rained terribly. When you pointed him out, he replied, 'I know, but at least I get a melodramatic movie moment,' you couldn’t stay serious and had to laugh, just like him. You both apologized and then calmly talked about the problem.

Since you’ve been a couple, Jake loves to go to another place for a few days, just to experience something new with you. Sometimes it’s just a weekend, sometimes several days, you decide spontaneously and don’t think about where you are going.

Jake usually wants you to choose a movie because he’s afraid you might not like the movie he chooses and you only agree because you want to do him a favor. You really have to force him to pick out a movie, and he’ll keep asking you if this movie is okay with you.

Jake is always afraid that something will happen to you if you use a knife while cooking. When you’re on a ladder, he’s afraid you’ll fall. If you don’t let him help you, he’ll turn away so he won’t have to look at you. If you want to walk across a street, he’ll double-check if a car comes.

No matter what time you get the idea, if you want something from McDonald’s or a pizza, or even if it’s just an ice cream, no matter what it is, Jake will go with you and get what you want.

When you used to lie on your balcony at night and Jake came out so you could go to bed, you said you could lie here all night. So Jake took the mattress of your bed and all the pillows and blankets you have and slept on the balcony together. You’ve been doing this often since then.

Jake had a necklace made especially for you, the pendant is his mark, the eye. Even if strangers do not know that it is his sign, he always makes sure that it hangs over your top and can always see himself that you belong to him.

Jake has a list of all the things and places you’d like to see. he wants to make it possible for you to see all of it.

Since Jake is much more active at night than during the day, you experience most things together at night. Wander around, go to dinner, exploring the city at night while sharing headphones and listening to music. Or rocking on a playground at night.

There’s a flower delivery service in Duskwood. And sometimes Jake orders flowers for you there and sends them to your apartment. When it sounds and you open the door, Jake will watch from afar how you rejoice when another bouquet of your favorite flowers arrives. He will always send small messages with the flowers. Simple things like 'I love you' or 'you look beautiful today'

Jake loves photos of you, preferably those you didn’t expect to be photographed. Jake loves taking pictures of you secretly. If you’re focused, while reading a book, drawing, or just scrolling through your Instagram feed. Sometimes you don’t even know that he took a pictur. He also loves pictures where you laugh. When you are out with the group and you laugh at something, he secretly takes pictures. Actually, at all times.

At the beginning Jake had a hard time taking pictures on which you are both on, but over time he has learned to love it more and more. Most of the time you don’t see him completely on photos, mostly only half the face or not at all. Sometimes when you take a picture of yourself, Jake uses the situation to sneak up on you and kiss you. On the cheek, on the forehead, your lips. Or just hugging you from behind and hiding his head in your neck bend.

Jake sometimes changes his background image several times a day, either it’s a picture of you or one of you both. But he cannot decide and therefore changes constantly, because he finds that all images are worth seeing.

That’s why you can watch Jake sometimes while he's unlocking his phone or looking at his computer and starts to grin when he sees the pictures. Even though he sees you every day, it makes him very happy.

You always have a serie you only watch together, when you have finished one, you look for a new one.

Sometimes it takes a long time in the morning to get out of bed. When you wake up and Jake’s still with you, sometimes you’ll spend another two hours only with cuddling. You just lie down, talk, spend quiet time together where none of you say anything. Well, and sometimes there are other reasons why you can’t separate from the bed.

Regular pillow fights or tickle attacks. If you just lie on the sofa or in bed, and you tease each other, it can lead to pillow fights that take on an insane extent or just like tickle attacks that often lead to sex.

Masterlist

[axwalker]

Bad Timing: Kismet

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairing: Drake Walker x Alexis O’Brien (MC) 

Synopsis: Alexis O’Brien is escaping a terrible past. After months of running  she settles  in Cordonia where she meets Drake at the bar where she works and they spend a passionate night together. 

What happens when a one-night-stand turns into unexpected parenthood? 

This chapter

MASTERLIST 

WORDS: 3,890 🙊

POV: Dual 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: None for this chapter. In the future, mentions of domestic violence, and explicit sex scenes. 

ALL MY FICS ARE +18 

A/N: I apologize for any grammatical errors. 

I switch between Drake’s and Alexis’ POV several time in this chapter. I hope it’ll be clear enough!

PRESENT TIME Alexis

 After a one-hour bus ride and a 20-minutes walk, I finally find the correct address. When I reach the massive iron gates, I punch in the code Mr. Beaumont’s assistant gave me on the phone and gape as the extensive estate comes into view when I walk through. Acres and acres of super green grass littered with pines surround the massive house in the distance. The closer I get, the more I feel like a foreigner. This might have been my world once, but my new reality couldn’t be further apart from all this luxury. I have fifty dollars left in my wallet, an eviction notice back in my 200 square foot studio, and to top it all, the worst freaking headache I’ve had in my life. Talk about a bad streak. Ironically, I’m happier than I’ve been in years. My life belongs to me; I don’t have to live in constant fear and –most importantly, I’m free. Unattached. I want to do a lot of things with my life, and no one will stop me. That’s worth the worst headache in the world or a few money problems. 

I ring the bell, and a gorgeous woman opens the door. Her deep blue eyes scowl at me when I smile at her. 

“Who are you looking for?” She doesn’t ask as much as she barks the question. 

“Eh,” I haven’t been called shy a single day of my life, but her attitude it’s messing with the positive vibes I had coming up here. “I’m looking for Mr. Bertrand Beaumont from Beaumont Caterings.”

 “This door is for house guests only. The help,” she says the word as if it tastes bad in her mouth, “must go around the house and ring the bell back there.” She’s about to close the door right in my face when two hot guys come to the door. Seriously, what do people eat in this country? 

“Penelope, what are you doing answering the door like a simple maid? Where is Jessa?” 

Penelope rolls her eyes. “She had to leave early. She said she asked you for the afternoon off.”

The older man nods as, the younger one grins at me. “We can discuss Jessa’s schedule later, Bertie. Please, come in, Ms.?” He asks me, still smiling. 

“Ortiz. Alexis Ortiz.” I grin back, instantly liking the man with the kind blue eyes. “I’m here for the catering job.” 

“I’m Maxwell Beaumont. This is my brother Bertrand—the owner and Penelope Brim, one of our party planners.”

I follow them to a huge office and give Bertrand the resumé I printed at the internet place next to my building.  

“Is this all true?” He asks after a quick read.

I nod my head.

“Are you sure, Ms. Ortiz? It says here that you were working as a bartender, a barista, and a waitress in a very exclusive French restaurant, all at the same time.”

Penelope gives me a dismissive glare. “She’s obviously lying. That isn’t even possible. Unless she’s iniquitous.” 

I know better than to interrupt a potential employer, even worse if it’s to correct them, but this woman is grating on my nerves. Plus, I had a lifetime of keeping my head down with Matt, and I just don’t have the patience for this kind of crap anymore. And she called me a liar. Hell no.

“No, Ms. Brim, I’m not ubiquitous.” Maxwell snorts, and I swear the other guy, Bertrand, smiles behind my CV. I refrain from telling her what iniquitous actually means because I do need this job. “I worked as a barista in a Starbucks from 5 to 11 am. Then as a waitress at “Clair de Lune” from 12 to 6 pm. Finally, as a bartender in an Irish pub from 7 to midnight or 2 am, depending on the day. You can call any of those places and see I’m not lying.” Just please, God, don’t ask for my papers.

Maxwell reads the resumé when Bertrand gives it to him. “Do you speak French and Spanish as well?”

I shrug. “I love languages, and I grew up in a house where my mom and grandmother only spoke Spanish. I learned French in school. I had an amazing teacher.” 

Maxwell and Bertrand look at each other. The older brother, a younger, sterner version of Hugh Jackman, clears his throat. “I’ll be honest with you, Ms. Ortiz. Two of our waiters are absent, and tomorrow we’ll be catering to one of the most important events of the year. If everything in your resume is true, you can start training today --paid of course, and start working tomorrow.”

Paid training? Despite my throbbing head, I want to scream with happiness. “Everything is true.”

“That’s settled then. Penelope, please, darling, show Ms. Ortiz the kitchens and the ballroom. You can ask Naomi to train her for tonight. You know Regina, and she’ll want everything to go as smooth as possible.” 

“Right.” Penelope turned at me with an uptight smile. “Come with me.” 

I turn and beam at Maxwell, who’s giving me a thumbs up. “Thank you. I really appreciate this.” 

Bertrand shakes his head. “Don’t thank me yet, Ms. Ortiz. Just do an impeccable job.” He glances at my Vans. “And for the love of God, only heels tomorrow.” 

I nod and follow Penelope down the hallway. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DRAKE

 “This is why you ditch your friends who get hitched to a relationship,” I grumble, sitting in my chair. 

“He’s five minutes late,” Liam says. 

Leo shakes his head. “Well, I want a goddamn drink. How come I can’t order one until he gets here?” 

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose. “You two are acting like children. You can wait five minutes.” 

“Maybe, but I need something, and fast.” 

“Ah, there they are,” Max exclaims, hands clasped together, staring at us. “My boys.” Jesus Christ. Liam is scooped into a hug and then set back in his chair. 

From over Liam’s head, Max points at me and shakes his finger. “Come here; you handsome Walker bastard.” 

I hold up my hand. “I’m good.”

 “Nope.” He shakes his head. “You don’t get to pass up Max’s snuggles.” Before I can move, he swoops to his knees, pulls me into a hug. . . and nuzzles. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Beaumont?” I ask, my voice strong as I try to push him away. 

“You smell like heaven,” he says, chuckling. No one likes to fuck with me as much as Maxwell Beaumont does. Unfortunately for me, he’s one of my best friends, and the bastard is well aware of it. 

“Get out of here.” I palm his face and push him away. 

Leo laughs. “Come on, man, you know Walker is a sour bastard.” 

With another laugh, Maxwell retreats to his seat, unbuttons his jacket, and sits down. Hands-on the table, he looks between us and declares, “I’m in love.” 

Christ. “We know,” Liam and I say at the same time, irritation heavy in our voices. Leo just rolls his eyes as he looks for a waiter. 

Maxwell has only been dating Rashad for a few weeks, so it’s no surprise he’s like this—a hopeful idiot with a relentless smile. Hell, he’s been in love with the man for years. It took him a really, really long time to finally make a move. He adjusts his tie as he says, “You don’t have to be rude about it. I’m just sharing. Isn’t that what this is all about? Sharing?” 

“Sharing? I thought this was about drinking as much as possible and hooking up with a hot waitress,” Leo says, flagging down our waiter. 

When he arrives, I talk above the guys and quickly say, “Macallan, neat.” 

“Dalmore, on the rocks, please,” Liam says, and Leo orders the same. 

When the waiter turns to Max, he rubs his stomach and says, “You know, a hot cocoa would be perfect right now.”

 What the actual fuck? “No.” I step in. “He’ll have an Old Fashion. Thanks.” A little confused and probably slightly disturbed, he takes off as Max complains. 

“Hey, I really wanted a hot cocoa.” 

“Not happening. First, because they don’t serve hot cocoas here and second because we’re supposed to be out drinking, Beaumont. And you fucking love Old Fashions. You order one every damn time. Stop complaining.” 

“Sheesh.” Maxwell unfolds his napkin and sets it on his lap. “What’s up your ass?” 

“Nothing.” I push my hand through my hair. 

“It’s a girl.” Leo smirks, causing Liam and Max to practically jump out of their seats.

“A girl?” Liam cocks his eyebrow. “Surely not Drake --permanent bachelor, Walker. My fucking heart can’t take it.” 

Fucking Leo. “It’s not what Leo is making it out to be.” 

“He met her two months ago, and he’s been thinking about her ever since. Magical pussy right there.”

“I swear, Leo; I don’t care for how long we’ve been friends, next time you talk about her like that, I’ll personally break that shit-eat grin off your face”

The clown raises his arms. “I rest my case.”

 “What?” Max’s eyes nearly fall out of their sockets. “Drake Walker doesn’t get attached, and he doesn’t duel his friends for a girl.” 

Jesus. Thankfully the waiter brings our drinks at that moment, so I have a second to compose myself. 

“You slept with her?” Liam asks after a swig of Dalmore. He’s been in a stable relationship with Hanna Lee for a year now. Once the most popular guy on school, he now spends his Friday nights curled up with her watching Netflix. I can’t even remember the last time he went out with us. 

“I don’t want to talk about it. The only reason this fuckhead is bringing it up it’s because I went looking for her, and he saw it.” There I said it. Better me than Leo fucking Rys. 

Max and Liam exchange a look, but Max seems too stunned to talk, so Liam asks. “You did what?”

I chug my whiskey and ask for another one. “I don’t know why. I just …” Tired of this fucking conversation, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “We had a great time. That’s all.”

 “How come Leo knows about this girl, and I don’t?” Liam complains. 

Max complains too. “Dude, you know I’m the romantic one. Leo over here has a brick for a heart, and Li is too busy. You need to discuss these things with me.” 

“I don’t have a brick for a heart,” Leo says, surprisingly offended. 

“No, you’re just still hung up on Maddie,” I say with a smirk. He shifts in his chair but doesn’t say anything. What does it feel, Rys? 

“So . . . who is the girl?” Maxwell asks. 

For fuck’s sake. I might as well get it over with. “I’m going to say one last time that I’m not interested in her anymore, so before your little hearts starts beating wildly for playing cupid, it’s not going to happen.” 

In a snarky tone, Leo replies, “Well, of course, it’s not. She left the country. Are you that bad, Walker? Because I can give you a tip or two.” He’s so fucking annoying. 

“Oh.” Max sighs, disappointed.  

Leo elbows his brother and says, “He hasn’t slept with anyone since.” 

And there it is. The real reason why Leo is worried about this. He lost his wingman. “I’m not an animal, Leo. It’s not the first time in my life that I go two months without fucking. I’m not you. Anyway, all this is pointless. She’s gone.” 

My friends grew up with me, so they know when it’s time to stop pushing. Max interrupts the silence that follows because nothing makes little Beaumont more uncomfortable than a gap in the conversation. “Everything is ready for the party tomorrow night. The thirtieth anniversary of Rys Corporation will be a success.” 

Liam nods. “Regina talked with Hana this morning. It’s the first anniversary since I took over as CEO. I need everything to be perfect.” 

“What about the staff, Max?” Leo asks, smiling. Having sex at every anniversary party is a personal challenge of his. 

“We actually hired someone today. She’s gorgeous.” He turns his head at Leo. “But she’s off-limits.” Leo smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “I mean it, dude. Bertrand said he’s tired of looking for new waitresses. Two quit yesterday morning when they found out that the event was for Rys corporation.”  

“Hey, I never lie. It’s not my fault if they think I’ll call them anyway.” 

“Whatever, just don’t mess with her. Plus, I got to talk to her after her training today. She’s super nice. She’s Am--. Wait.” He says when his phone chimes up. “Sorry, boys. It was a text from Penelope. Apparently, the Chablis hasn’t been delivered yet. I have to call Joelle before I lose my big brother over a wine crisis. See you all tomorrow.” He finishes his cocktail and stands up. 

Liam stands up too. “I should go home too. Han arrived today from Hong Kong.” 

Leo checks his phone. “Wait, Li. I’ll go with you. I have a date with this girl I met last night at Kismet. Do you want to come, man?” He asks me. “I’m sure she has a friend she can introduce you.”

I shake my head. “I’ll finish my whiskey and head home. See you all tomorrow.”

It was only one fucking night. Why can’t I get her out of my head? 

It’s maddening. Or maybe it is a blessing. If I’m still thinking about her after one night, imagine how bad I’d have it after several. It’s best that she stays far the fuck away from me. I’m not interested in long-term attachments of any kind.  I don’t want to think about Lexie Ortiz, but she’s infected my brain. The sound of her teasing laugh haunts me.

And I can’t deny it; it was one hell of a night.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALEXIS 

 “This is a single girl’s paradise.” 

“No,” I grimace, trying to clean the spilled tomato sauce from my shirt. “Paradise would be a tropical beach with a hot cabana boy giving us free massages... and an endless supply of piñas Coladas.” Naomi laughs, the sound almost lost in the chaos of the kitchen. Chefs shouting orders, Penelope and Bertrand panicking, plates being dropped—the world of catering is a noisy business. 

“Cabana boys may have hot smoking bodies and virility, Lex, but they lack two essential qualities: prestige and money.” 

“So, what you’re saying is that you’d prefer an old limp dick over a young hard one? Interesting,” I answer, teasing her. 

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, smart ass. I’m saying I’d take a solid bank account over a solid dick. Think about it—with all that money, he could never fuck me at all, and I couldn’t care less. And I’d be treated properly. Rich guys know how to treat a lady.” 

“Trust me on this, Naomi. Money has absolutely nothing to do with how a man treats a woman.” I should know. “In any case,” I retort, grabbing another tray of drinks, “if you’re looking for old rich guys, there are tons of opportunities out there.” I laugh at the dreamy look on her face, partly because it’s hilarious and partly because I know she’s kidding. After my training last night, she invited me to her house, where I met Theo, her little boy. He’s eight years old and the absolute love of her life. 

“Speaking of fucking,” she says, her eyes sparkling, “did you see the Rys brothers? One of them is taken, but the other two are single and oh so yummy. Especially the tall and brooding one. I’ll kill for those smoldering brown eyes looking right at my soul” 

I snort. “You really should stop reading romance novels, Nao. And yes. I served one of them and his girlfriend champagne earlier, but he was blond and didn’t have smoldering, brooding eyes. I thought they were only two brothers, though.”

“Well, technically, yes. But Constantine Rys --the super-rich owner of Rys Corporation-- adopted two other kids. A boy and a girl. They all grew up together.” She uncorks several champagne bottles as she speaks.

Now that my uniform is clean, I grab one of the Veuve Clicquot bottles and help her pouring the cold liquid into the glasses on our trays. “How do you know all of that?”

“I’m Cordonian, girl. The Rys siblings are almost royalty in this country. The one that is not an actual Rys is the one with the smoldering eyes. He doesn’t work for the company, though. He’s a … a vet, I think.”  

A veterinarian like Drake. My stupid heart flutters when I think about him. 

“Do we pay you to work or to gossip, ladies?” Penelope screams from the kitchen door. 

Naomi and I roll our eyes and grab our refilled trays. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DRAKE

“This is a huge night for Liam,” Regina says behind her champagne glass. Constantine has been telling everyone, especially her, that he’s ready and happy to retire, but she knows him better than anyone. Leaving Rys Corporation and pass the torch to Liam is much more difficult for Constantine than he cares to admit.  

“It’ll be all right, Regina. Don’t worry. Liam is more than ready to handle the responsibility.”

She throws a glance at Liam, who’s standing a few feet behind me next to his dad. “I just hope he doesn’t forget that his personal life is equally important. He and Hana work too hard.” 

I’m about to answer when one of the waitresses distracts me. Her back is turned to me, so I can’t see her face, but there is something incredibly familiar about the way she moves. She’s passing drinks amongst Regina’s friends. I want to go and see who she is, but Liam catches my eyes across the room.  We exchange a look, one that we’ve exchanged several times over our lives. It was Liam and me when we were younger, walking into his father’s office after getting into a fight at school. It was the two of us when we came home late, and his parents were waiting in the living room as we walked in, drunk. It was the two of us when we wrecked Leo’s new Porsche when we were sixteen, and right now, I know he needs me. Constantine is a great father, but he has too many expectations for his younger son. Liam needs a break. 

Regina sees the exchange and smiles. “Liam’s very lucky to have you, Drake.” She is not our biological mother, but she loves all of us as if she was. And she’s more my mother than Bianca Walker will never be.  

A couple of men look at me, and I try to remember if I should know them from somewhere. I think they’re both on the board of directors at RC. As much as I love the Rys, I will never get used to this shit. Socializing and pretending to like a bunch of people that annoy the fuck out of me. Ignoring them, I make my way to my best friend. Liam is standing with his hands in his pockets, looking serious and put together like the CEO of the largest company in Cordonia should. 

“I think it’s going well,” he says as I approach. “Father was driving me crazy with all his advice.” 

“It’s not only the anniversary of the company, Li. It’s also his first one as the former CEO. It’s normal he feels out of place.” 

Liam nods. “I know. I just wish he’ll trust me more.”

“He does, Liam. He’s just nervous.”

 I’m cut short by Liam’s grin. His gaze slides right behind me and lights up. 

“Would either of you like a glass of champagne?” a female, very familiar voice nearly whispers behind me. 

“I’m good,” Liam answers, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “How about you, Drake?”

 I turn around, and my heart skips a beat. Soft curves, tanned skin, and a few freckles across the bridge of her nose. The brightest, most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. Alexis Ortiz tucks a strand of her rich brown hair behind her ear and takes a deep breath. Her eyes widen, and I see she recognizes me but doesn’t mention it. Instead, a faint smile ghosts her luscious lips, and she lifts her chin like she has a secret she won’t tell. A secret we share. Her gaze remains on Liam, almost like she’s afraid to look my way. Finally, she turns to me, and when she does, an adorable blush color her cheeks. 

“Would you, uh, sir?” she asks, taking half a step backward. 

“Would I what?” I press, enjoying too much the way her cheeks turn even pinker. 

“Would you like a drink?” The words leave her lips fast like she wants to pronounce them and run away. I take a step towards her, remembering the night she spent in my arms and how damn perfect she felt. I know I make her nervous because I see little goosebumps erupting on her soft skin.  I smirk at her. “That depends on what you’re offering.”

 I shouldn’t be toying with her, but I can’t help it. I want to keep her talking, to watch her reactions, to see that sweet smile again.  

“I don’t have much to offer,” she says, a hint of nervousness in her voice. “Unless you like champagne, sir.” She emphasizes the last word.

“I like all sorts of things.” I keep my gaze heavy against hers, not allowing her to look away. She fidgets with her tray and swallows hard but never takes her eyes off mine, too rebellious to look away. The longer our eyes match, the hotter my body becomes. She bits her delicious bottom lip slowly, her dark gaze boring into mine. 

“Is that so?” Liam laughs beside me, and I watch her jump like she forgot he was there. Alexis clears her throat and glances around the room. She turns back to us again, this time a practiced smile on her face. The easy grin and soft laugh are both gone. She wants to get away from me, I can feel it, and I understand. She’s working; it wouldn’t be professional. This is not the time or the place to reconnect. Unfortunately for her, I have other plans.

“Gentlemen ...” With a nod, Alexis walks away as fast as possible. She doesn’t look back, but I watch her until she’s out of sight. 

“What was that?” Liam snickers, loosening his gray silk tie. “I thought you were going to jump on her.” 

I rub my thumb over my lip, still surprised as hell.

“That was Alexis, the girl I met a couple of months ago. Now, if you excuse me, Li, I need to go talk to Bertrand.”  

@mskaneko @burnsoslow @gkittylove99 @kat-tia801 @no-one-u-know @thegreentwin @twinkle-320 @forallthatitsworth @kingliam2019 @marshmallowsandfire @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @princessleac1 @twinkleallnight @tinkie1973 @drakexwillow @moneyfordiamonds 

@yukinagato2012​ @alyssalauren​

[wordsfromthesol]

Avengers or Justice League (2/2)

Author: @wordsfromthesol​ Taglist: @zphilophobiaz @malfoys-demigod  @pricetagofficial @anousiemay​ Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Word Count: 1.2k

Part One

You woke up several hours later, still in the passenger seat. It had definitely been longer than 2 hours. How were you not in New York yet…Before you could ask, Jason spoke up.

"So…welcome back. It's been a while. A lot has changed."

"I can see that. What happened?"

"Well I met the spider thing. Very helpful, definitely a child. But he said Bats was about 3 hours north of here. In a small town called Croatoa."

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't believe it either. Couldn't even find it on a map…but the kid gave me directions. Should be there in…now." Jason commented as he turned onto a dirt road. You had a feeling this wasn't going to end well.

**

You had been in this weird town for a few hours. All you had done was sit on the roof of the hotel and listen. The conversations…something was just off. You couldn't put your finger on exactly what. You were so zoned out that you didn't even hear Jason come up behind you.

"Something is off here. Right?" His voice broke your trance.

"Definitely." You nodded, reassuring him that he wasn't crazy.

"There's no crime here. At all. In the last 10 years. Not even a speeding ticket."

"Well the town is all dirt roads…" The comment was meant to put your minds at rest. It didn't. "Should we even be staying here? Crime does tend to follow us." Jason's bellowing laugh cut through the tension.

"I've already got us another room. About an hour away. It was the closest town to here." You moved to get up but stopped when you noticed Jason wasn't following you.

"Is there something else?" A look of concern graced your features.

"Why am I here? Good ole Bruce doesn't need me. Never has. I don't fit into the mold of his superhero gang. I shouldn't even be alive. Who thought I was worth saving?" It was as if someone dosed him with a truth serum. All the insecurities he felt began to pour out.

"Honestly…I have no idea why you were saved. Then again, why was I? Why didn’t that blast kill me? Why did Tony create something to save me? And why did Bruce teach me how to control the catastrophic energy inside of me?" Now you couldn't stop. There was something about this place. "We need to leave." You were barely able to muster up the words.

**

You still weren't sure how the two of you made it out of town, but as soon as you did it was like a switch flipped.

"By the way, Bruce's way of doing things…it's not always right. You don't need to fit into his mold." Even though the effects wore off, you still remembered everything Jason had said. Everything you had said. Those fears and uncertainties, you don't think you'd ever actually said them aloud. You could tell Jason hadn't either.

"Do you think he's there?"

"It's a pretty small town, I would've heard him…unless there was some underground bunker…" You turned towards Jason, realizing that that was an actual possibility. The rest of the drive was ridden in silence. Neither of you wanted to talk about the things that were said.

You had no idea where Jason went, but it had been hours. The two of you had to come up with a plan. It didn't take long for you to find him in an alleyway wailing on some drug dealer.

"Hey, Hood." You casually walked up next to him, leaning against the adjacent brick wall. He sent one final punch towards the dealer before turning towards you. "Don't you think we have more important matters?" Jason just stared at you, confused. You scoffed and starting walking back to the hotel, as you reached the end of the alley you called out, "If you want a lecture we'll have to find your dear ole dad."

You weren't surprised to hear Jason's footsteps quickly behind you. "Well do you know where to begin?"

"Kinda…I was thinking. And the power to affect people's minds like that has to be constantly going. Especially since it affected us."

"Yeah but that could be anything. A sound, emitting something into the air, even widescale mind control." You let out a defeated sigh as Jason continued. "I can call Miss Martian. If it's the latter."

"Alright, get her on standby. I'm going to call Tony. Maybe he has something we could use if it's a sound or air thing." You stopped dead in your tracks and turned towards Jason. "I just don't get why they would have Bruce. I get that he is inherently violent…but he still helps people. And they wouldn't need him if there was no crime…"

"I…" Jason started walking again, not wanting to think about the answer. "I'll get Tim on it. Just don't go back there until we know more."

Your eyes widened, "Yeah no, of course not."

**

Once you were sure Jason was asleep, you flew just outside the town limits and began circling the town. There had to be something you missed. It took almost 30 minutes for you to notice the sound. You stopped, hovering about 30 feet in the air, as you focused in on the noise. The next thing you knew you were plummeting to the ground, yet you couldn't stop yourself. It seemed as if Jason was at your side as soon as you hit the ground.

"Y/N! Are you kidding me?!"

Your eyes fluttered open to examine the damage around you. "I thought you were asleep."

"And I called bullshit the moment you said you wouldn't come back here." You didn't protest as he scooped you up and gently placed you in the car.

"It's sound." You mumbled as you fought off the headache.

"Guess I'll have to talk to the tin can again." He rolled his eyes, but his expression softened as he watched your face contort in pain. "You okay?"

"Just karma for not listening to the all mighty Jason Todd."

**

A week had passed and it seemed the mission grew stagnant. Tony had developed a device that blocked the sound, which you had already tested, but there were still too many unknowns. Every meeting consisted of hypothesizing different situations and possibilities that could be encountered once everyone was inside.

"Enough already!" You shouted at the arguing heroes. "We could do this for months. It's pointless. We need to go now. Batman may not even be there anymore."

"Oh, uh…he is." Spiderman chimed in.

You furrowed your brow, "How do you know that?"

"I put a tracker on him. It's still there…" As the whole room burst out in laughter, Spiderman just looked around, confused. "What?!" His voice broke through.

"Oh…sweetheart." You began as you regained your composure. "There are three reasons that tracker works. One, he was brainwashed and actually didn't know it was there. Two, he put the tracker on something useless to send you on a wild goose chase. And three, he put the tracker somewhere he wanted you to go."

"Considering the creepy town, I'd rule out the second one." Dick chimed in.

"So do we just split up and find the entrance to the tunnels?" You could tell that Tim was ready to get this mission over, so you started doling out responsibilities.

"Tony starts at the north end, Nightwing and Robin at the east, Red Robin and Spiderman, the west. Red Hood and I will start at the south. We can't go in costume though. It will be too obvious."

"So we must reveal our identities to these inane people?" Damian was not happy with the situation, especially having to work with members of the Avengers.

"Just don’t say your name? We're trying to find Batman, this is more important than your secret identity."

**

You prayed that the sonic dampeners Tony developed would hold for the duration of the mission. You had no idea how long this would take. This situation seemed much more involved than some low level, one-off criminal. It was a demonstration, a practice round.

The town was small enough, so one of the groups had to stumble upon this entrance. The only tricky part was not drawing attention to yourselves. Seven strangers come to town at once…you were hoping whatever brainwashing protocol overlooked this fact. And you were right. No one gave you and Jason a second glance as the two of you strolled down the street. It had been almost an hour before you stumbled upon a potential entrance. As discreetly as possible, you opened the hatch and lowered yourself through the hole.

"So which way do we go?" Jason commented as he followed in suit.

"Left?" You figured you had a 50/50 shot, so you went with your gut. After all, if you went right, you wouldn't be in town for too much longer. "You should probably call the others. Have them rendezvous here, in case we run into trouble."

"Trouble from who? The townies?" You shrugged off his condescending tone. The two of you had been walking for a few minutes when you started to hear footsteps. People were running towards you.

"Uh, Jason…we need to move." Jason didn't bother to argue, as the urgency was pasted over your face. The two of you raced down the corridor until you saw something. "STOP! There's a room. There." You pointed towards the concrete block to your right.

"And does this room have a door?" You could tell by his tone, Jason wasn't afraid to make one. Your eyes scanned around the area until you found it. Not bothering to answer his question, you rushed towards the opening.

"And it's locked."

"Not for long," Jason smirked as knelt down to work on the lock. It was opened in seconds. Your eyes searched around the room in awe. There was video and audio of the entire city. Even inside people's homes.

"How do we --" Your question was interrupted by a loud banging against the door. "Just subdue, don't maim or murder." The comment was a reminder to both yourself and Jason. These were innocent unsuspecting townspeople, not criminals.

"Didn't need to be said!" You shoot a glare his way, to which he responds with a shrug of the shoulders. Just as the two of you braced for a fight, the banging stopped. Seconds later, Tim swung open the door.

"In a bit of a bind?"

"Does it look like we know how to operate this?" You pointed towards the various machines behind you. Tim nodded and got to work.

**

"So, no evil mastermind or Batman." You had convinced Jason to come back to the hotel with you and let the rest of them deal with the groggy and confused townspeople.

"Guess not."

"There's probably going to be more towns like this. You'll have to keep an eye out…"

"Oh. So you're leaving Earth then?" Jason's chest sank at the thought.

"Is there a reason I should stay?" You knew the answer, but you wanted him to say it. You wanted to make sure you weren't imagining everything.

"I can probably think of a few…"

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Three: Anosognosia

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): drinking, drunkenness, light smut, sex dream, implications of oral sex, obsessive behavior from an ex, unhealthy relationship dynamic (not on part of Yoongi & OC)

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Notes: This was originally written and completed on Wattpad between 2018 and the beginning of 2020. I’ll be slowly posting the chapters here. I may make a tag list depending on if enough people want to follow along with updates. Leave me some feedback if you would like added to a tag list.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

Yoongi saw the look in your eyes shift from soft curiosity to sheer panic. He felt the pit of his stomach fill with guilt. He shouldn't have slept with you; sure, the two of you would still have this problem, but no one would've had reason to find your shoes. You wouldn't have had reason to leave them behind. 

He'd felt betrayed, he'd felt lonely, he'd felt unloved by those he wanted to love him most. But, that was no excuse to sleep with the first attractive girl he found. 

"Have you told Bang PD yet?" Namjoon asked, his demeanor calm, but Yoongi could see the slight shock cross over his features, causing his thick lips to pout and his chin to jut out. 

Yoongi shook his head.

"I'll call him," Namjoon said. The leader placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He blocked Yoongi's view of you. He worried in those few seconds you were blocked from his view that you would collapse into Namjoon's chest and cry the tears meant for him. The tears because of him. 

Namjoon left the room, leaving Yoongi alone with you. He tried his best not to focus on the way your tank top hugged your chest and exposed the hickeys he'd left the night before and that Namjoon probably noticed it too.

"You look tired," Yoongi said. "We can't do anything until tomorrow anyway. Try and get some sleep."

You nodded and Yoongi wasn't sure if you were just trying to reassure him or yourself. He remembered the way you'd fallen asleep long before he did. The way you'd fit against his body; how it felt like two puzzle pieces joining together for the first time. He blinked away the thoughts and tried to focus back down on your eyes. 

"We'll pay them off," Yoongi said. "We'll make sure nothing comes of this."

---

Jihee (9:00 am): Are you all right?

Jihee (9:05 am): I heard you're in the hospital

Jihee (10:01 am): None of your members are texting me back

Jihee (12:31 pm): Baby, the news is reporting something about your soulmate? What happened last night?

Jihee (2:43 pm): Yoongi! Please respond to me! I'm worried

Jihee (5:12 pm): Yoongi...what I did last night...what happened was all a mistake...

Jihee (5:12 pm): I still love you

Jihee (6:00 pm): The news said you were released hours ago! Respond to me!

Jihee (8:20 pm): Yoongi, I miss you

Jihee (9:30 pm): I know I don't deserve you. But, please just tell me you're okay

Jihee (11:50 pm): Goodnight. Love you.

---

"Baby," you moaned. Your hands slipping beneath Yoongi's shirt. They were cold, but he still loved the way they moved over his stomach and chest. Your fingertips grazing over his skin, a fingernail occasionally catching and causing him to squirm.

His hands were in your hair, messing it up and causing it to form mountain ranges as his fingers hiked the peaks and valleys. He loved the way it felt between his fingers, soft and light. 

Your lips moved from his and down to his neck where your lipstick stained his skin. He kept his grip on your hair, feeling it tug slightly as you move downward. He helped you slip his shirt off as your lips connected with his chest. 

"You don't have--"

You silenced him by tugging on the waistband of his jeans and rubbing your thumb over the button, teasing him slightly. 

"I want to," you responded, unbuttoning his jeans. 

Yoongi tightened his grip on your hair, trying not to focus on the way your lipstick was smeared above your lips. He could already imagine the way they'd look...

His head lulled back and his fingers loosened. 

---

Yoongi awoke. He was covered in sweat and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at his phone: 6:41 am. He sighed and headed to the bathroom. 

He slapped himself softly, trying to stop the thoughts that continued to cross his mind. He didn't have feelings for you, it was simply lingering from he slept with you. Nothing else. 

He wasn't going to deny he was attracted to you, he wouldn't have gone back to your apartment otherwise, but he felt nothing romantically for you. Yoongi knew the attraction would continue and probably only get worse, but he had to fight it. The last thing he wanted to do was break either of hearts more than they already were. 

Yoongi turned on the shower, the water colder than usual.

---

You stood in Yoongi's studio where he kept his computer. You'd suppressed your laughter at the ridiculous amount of hoops you'd had to jump through in order to enter. A doorbell, black curtain, and two doors. You respected the fact he took his work seriously though. The wall full of awards and trophies he'd won, a few even separate from BTS.

There was a couch in the corner, but you were too anxious to sit. You just wanted your shoes back and whoever took them to get their money and leave you alone. You were thankful your name hadn't been released and the only other person who knew the full truth was Eunji.

"There's many of us trying," Yoongi said. "Me, Namjoon, our managers, other people at the company. One of us will get them." 

You nodded and watched as the countdown on the auction neared two minutes to the end. There weren't many bids, but the shoes were somehow already over 300,000 won ($276 USD). You'd brought your knitting needles and some yarn and mindlessly knitted.

"What are you making?" Yoongi asked, a small smile breaking out across his lips. It was tiny and barely recognizable. You weren't sure if he pitied you or if simply trying to break the tension. 

"Nothing in particular," you said. "I just need something to keep me busy." 

Normally, when you went in without a plan, it turned out as a scarf. You bit you lip as the timer hit a minute. 

Yoongi saw your gaze shift to his screen and he readied to enter his bid as close to the end as he could. He entered one million won ($920.00 USD) and hovered his finger over the enter button. 

"That's too much!" you said. 

"No one will outbid it."

"I know," you said. "But I feel bad. I shouldn't have forgotten them in the first place." 

The timer hit twenty seconds. Ten seconds. Yoongi waited just a few more seconds wanting to time it just right. 

You heard a scream and a crash and almost simultaneously an error message appeared on Yoongi's computer. Please connect to Wi-Fi.

"Shit," Yoongi said. "Jimin!"

You followed Yoongi to the living room, leaving the partially started scarf behind. You saw Jimin and Jungkook crowded around the router working to connect the cord back into it. 

"Did you trip over it again?" Yoongi asked, his voice breathy and exasperated. 

"Sorry," he said. "I'm not used to it." 

Yoongi sighed and turned back to you. His dark eyes looked down at you apologetically and he sat down on the couch, pulling out his phone. 

"I'll try and see if I can see who won." 

---

"It looks like they're going to have to come out and fix it," Namjoon said, hanging up the phone. "We won't have internet until then." 

The members groaned. 

Jungkook walked into the kitchen and brought back a case of beer, a smirk plastered on his face. 

"Let's play a game," he said. "To welcome Sumi to the dorm."

"What game?" Namjoon asked. 

"Answer or drink," he said. "On your turn, someone asks you a question and if you don't want to answer it, you have to drink." 

Everyone agreed and sat in a circle. Yoongi sat on one side of you and Hoseok on the other side. Your knee brushed Yoongi's and you felt a small pang in your chest as you pulled away.

"All right, we'll go in order of age. Jin, you're up first." 

You didn't really pay attention to the questions. You'd fall somewhere towards the end. Between Jungkook and Taehyung. 

Jin answered the question. He didn't seem like the type to be embarrassed easily, a quality you admired in the eldest. 

---

"Yoongi," Jungkook said. "Your turn."

The room stayed silent. No one had a question for the boy and he couldn't help but smirk slightly. However, Taehyung meekly raised his hand. 

"What happened with Jihee?"

Yoongi cussed to himself. He knew she had been texting the other members about him. The other members would always consult him first before telling her anything when it was obvious he wasn't talking to her. 

"She cheated," Yoongi answered simply. 

The other boys' eyes widened and they nodded. However, it wasn't their gazes Yoongi felt boring into him. It was yours. He could feel your eyes staring at his profile. 

Yoongi had been careful the night he met you. He managed not even to tell you his name. He'd only mentioned he'd recently gotten out of a relationship. He figured you didn't need to hear his sob story. Besides, he planned on keeping Jihee's betrayal a secret. Just as she wanted. The only people he could trust with the truth were his members. 

But, you deserved to know the truth. It was unfair to keep you completely at a distance, especially when he'd overheard everything about your ex.

Yoongi noticed you drinking, you'd already cracked open another can by the time it got Namjoon. He felt a twinge in his chest. Yoongi quickly suppressed it, your drinking habits were none of his business. And based on the way Eunji talked the night at the bar, it didn't sound like you drank much. Only when your heart was broken.

"Sumi," Jungkook said. "Your turn." 

Again, the room fell silent. No one knew Sumi well enough to ask her such a personal question. But, then again, everyone was tipsy, or in a few cases, already drunk. 

"How's Yoongi in bed?" 

Everyone except for Yoongi and you laughed. 

"Seriously?" Yoongi asked. 

He knew it was the alcohol that asked the question, but it was still inappropriate. He didn't want you to have to drink. Your eyes were glazed and your cheeks rosy. 

Yoongi reached over and drank for you, crumpling the can when he finished. 

"Move on," he said. "It should be your turn, right, Jungkook?"

"Wait," you said. "I didn't answer." 

Everyone turned to look at you. It was obvious you were too drunk to notice that Yoongi had technically already drank for you. 

"He's good," you answered. "Better than my ex and I hate that cause..." 

You drifted off not noticing the seven stunned faces staring at you.Your words slurred, but they hung in the room. Your eyelids drooped and your head lulled forward into your chest. 

"I think it's time for bed," Namjoon said, standing up and helping you stand. He threw an arm around you and led you down the hall towards your bedroom. 

Despite the fact that the situation was perfectly appropriate, Yoongi still felt a small pang of jealousy. He knew he shouldn't and that it was all the soulmates thing, but that didn't stop his fists from clenching. 

"She probably won't remember this in the morning," Yoongi said. "Don't remind her."

Yoongi swallowed the rest of his drink and left the room on the pretenses of being sleepy--which he was--but he also didn't want anyone to see the blush come to his cheeks. 

---

You awoke the next morning with the worst headache you'd ever had. You clutched your forehead and glanced at the time: 10:30 am. You sighed. 

You spotted your knitting things from yesterday placed on top of the dresser. You didn't remember fetching them from Yoongi's studio, but then again, you barely remembered anything after Jimin knocked the Wi-fi out. 

"All I drank was beer," you muttered to yourself. 

You weren't known for being a lightweight causing you to wonder just how much you'd drank the night before.

As you squirmed you felt something soft move in the crook of your arm. You looked down and saw Kitty. You smiled at the stuffed cat and her droopy eye. 

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[13uswntimagines]

I Was Never Just a Rebound

Request: Lindsey helps reader get over her breakup with Christen pt.2- Sequal to I don’t want you to be a Rebound

Hey dudes, i hope you enjoy this! I know it’s kinda long, but I though a lot of the fallout stuff was necessary! To the people effected by college and the hurricane, i hope you’re doing well and that this can bring you a little bit of joy in some uncertain times. Hit me up with requests, questions or if you just wanna say Hi! I’m always open to chat. 

You knew that national team camp was going to be a challenge after the breakup, but you hadn’t anticipated the shit show that had awaited you. Vlatko had defended his choice of sticking you in the same room as Tobin as “maintaining team unity” and “fixing team cohesion”, but you were convinced that he just had a sick sense of humor. At least you had Lindsey (and her Roommate Emily by default) to back you up. 

The kiss hadn’t changed the dynamic between you and Lindsey all that much, to be honest. If anything, it made you closer. In the three months after the kiss you had still texted and FaceTimed several times a day, but now there was a different air of ease that surrounded each interaction. As though you were both more comfortable with where you stood with each other. You knew about her feelings for you, and she knew that you were still very not ready for a serious relationship. (Though you did find it slightly odd that all of your Tinder hookups had blond hair instead of brown.) 

 You stood in front of the mirror, placing the finishing touches on your outfit for tonight. Just because it was technically a Tinder one-night stand didn’t mean that the girl didn’t deserve to be wooed. You had been at camp for a total of 4 hours and you already couldn’t stand to be around them. The “happy couple” as they were called had a propensity for making out everywhere, no matter who was present. 

Each touch felt like a knife in your already torn up heart, so you had resorted to the only therapist approved coping mechanisms that you could right now, rebound sex. 

“Where are you getting all dressed up to go?” Tobin's voice broke you out of your thoughts as she wandered into the room that the two of you were supposed to be sharing, her eyebrows furrowing as she took in your button-down shirt, vest and slacks. 

“Out.” You responded shortly, not even sparing her a glance. 

“But we have practice tomorrow,” She continued. You could hear your exasperation. You had never been a goodie two shoes, but you had also never been one to blatantly break rules while at camp. You didn’t take many things seriously, but soccer was one of them. 

“Your point,” You spat. She had lost the right to have an opinion on your behavior the moment she had even entertained the idea of sleeping with Christen. 

“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” She mumbled. 

“I want to” You rolled your eyes, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt. 

“I’m going to stay with Chris to make things less awkward” Tobin murmured, shifting foot to foot. 

“Do whatever you want Tobin,” You said, your voice completely void of emotion, finally turning to face her. 

“Just know that I didn’t ask Vlatko to put us together torture you alright,” She insisted tilting her head to the side and biting her lip. She hated how fucking awkward things had become between the two of you.

“No, you do that just fine all on your own,” You laughed humorlessly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her eyes snapped up to meet your own, shock evident in her features. Sure she had messed up, but she would never intentionally hurt you. 

“It means that I get it. It means that I should have known that the entire team would be behind you on this one because I’m just the fuck up who was never good enough for her. Trust me, do I get it, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t shove it in my face every three seconds,” You rushed out, the voices of your teammates congratulating the happy couple like freshly squeezed lemon juice to you half-healed heart. It had burned and ached and brought back every insecurity that you had worked your whole career to get over. 

“We weren’t, we were just…” She stumbled over her words and you rolled your eyes. 

“Doing all of the things you couldn’t do for the months you were seeing each other behind my back,” You finished for her, sending her a smile that was too mocking to be friendly. 

“It wasn’t months,” She huffed, settling into the edge of the bed that was meant to be hers. 

“Then how long was it Tobin?” Venom leaked into your question. A dangerous calm taking over your features. You didn’t know the whole story, but you knew enough to know that it hadn’t been the first time. 

“Since the night we won the World Cup,” 

You recoiled from the admission as though you had been slapped. 

“I’m so fucking stupid,” You laughed mirthlessly, closing your eyes in an attempt to control your emotions. 

“You’re not and I’m sorry that…” She started, attempting to fix the obvious pain that she had just inflicted. 

“Don’t. Don’t fucking apologize to me when I know that you’re not sorry. Just.” Your voice was cold, colder than she had ever heard it. “Just-. Just forget it alright.” You finished, shaking your head and returning your attention to finding your shoes so you could get the fuck out of this room. 

“We can’t just pretend like it never happened” she sniffled wetly. 

“We’re not pretending anything. Well, that’s a lie. We” you gestured between the two of you “are going to pretend that we were never friends and you were going to leave me the fuck alone”

“You can’t just erase history Y/n. I know you know that better than anyone” She pleaded. She had been your best friend since you were in diapers. You had been through it all together, things like that couldn’t just disappear, could they?

“Don’t fucking talk to me about my past Tobin” You growled, advancing on the woman.  

“I’m so…” She started, holding her hands up as if to pacify you. 

“I told you to stop apologizing,” You snapped. You knew the apology was out of pity and not because they felt bad about what had happened. they just felt bad that they had been caught. You often wondered how long they would have let you believe that she was still in love with you. How would they have broken the news? 

“I don’t know what you want me to say to you. I’m not going to say I regret it because that would mean that I regret finally getting the love of my life. I know that what we did was wrong but,” she started, frustration leaking into her tone. She didn’t want to hurt you, but she would never say that wished she didn’t have Christen. 

“But what Tobin? You never meant to hurt me? How many times did you watch me kiss her knowing that you were the one that she wanted? How many times did you reassure me that she loved me while you knew that it was you who she was dreaming of? How many times did you look at that ring on her finger and laugh because you knew she was never even entertaining the idea of walking down that aisle to meet me.” your chest was heaving by the end of your rant, your cheeks red with exertion. Tobin’s mouth remained shut, and her eyes stayed trained on the floor. “That’s what I thought. You know my past and you knew exactly what you were going to do to me each time you hooked up with each other. So let’s just drop the fucking pretense that you actually give a fuck about anyone but yourselves.” You said lowly.

“I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say. I don’t know how to fix it,” She exploded, her voice thick with emotion, running her hands ran through her hair, her typically chill demeanor nowhere to be found. You felt guilty at the small shiver of satisfaction that rolled through you, as she experienced a small percentage of the pain you were feeling. But this was her bed to lie in and not yours. At least she would have Christen to keep her warm. 

“That’s the thing. You don’t say anything and you stop trying to fix it. You sack up and accept the guilt and leave me the fuck alone,” Your voice was soft but dangerous. Like the edge of a razor running on skin. Your tone nothing your best friend had ever heard before. 

“You’re my best friend,” She pleaded, the tears rolling down her cheeks, and you resisted the urge to comfort her. 

“No. I’m a fellow forward on the same team as you. That’s it. I’m your colleague who you only talk to on the pitch,” you said, your voice wavering. It was bad enough that you had lost Christen but nearly unbearable that she was the one you had lost her to. 

“Y/n…” She started, only to be cut off by a soft knock at the door, and you thanked your lucky stars. You weren’t sure if you could remain strong through the rest of that. You stumbled over to the door, and flung it open, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you saw the woman on the other side. 

 “Am I interrupting something?” Lindsey asked, taking in Tobin’s red-rimmed eyes and your agitated expression. She kept her face neutral at your outfit, even though you did look incredibly stunning all dressed up, she still preferred you in your old sweats cuddled up ready to watch a movie. 

“No, I was just leaving,” You hummed, your features instantly brightening at her appearance.“I’ll text you later?. I heard Emily say something about a movie night?”You smile, waiting for her to nod before kissing her forehead and heading towards the door.

“For sure babe,” she smiled back, kissing your cheek in return. You send her a wink before exiting the room, completely missing Tobin’s eyebrows shooting up into her hairline. 

 “She hates me,” Tobin sniffed as she watched you go, and Lindsey frowned. More so at the fact that you were clearly going for a tinder hookup instead of hanging out with her than anything else. She got that you were hurt, but watching you rebuild the wall around your heart was scary. 

While the two of you were emotionally more connected than ever before, the likelihood of you stepping into a serious relationship seemed to be oceans away.

“Well, she has a pretty good reason to,” Lindsey rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed next to Tobin’s distraught form, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder. 

“We didn’t mean to hurt her,” Tobin whined. Why wouldn’t anyone listen to them when they said it. They loved you and hurting you was the last thing in their mind. They just didn’t know how to be honest with you about the situation. At least you didn’t run away to the UK this time. 

“Yeah, I would start by never ever saying that again,” Lindsey said lowly. She knew how much you hated when they said that. It always felt like they were diminishing the amount of devastation you felt at their betrayal. As though there was no way to avoid their happiness coming at the cost of your own. 

“What else are we supposed to say? We love each other and don’t regret that we finally got together,” Tobin grumbled exasperatedly. She didn’t know how to fix this, and you weren’t giving her any clues. 

“You just regret that you lied and destroyed your best friend in the process?” Lindsey shrugged sarcastically.  

“Exactly! Wait, That came out wrong,”  Tobin blushed at the admission and Lindsey’s raised eyebrows. 

“Just give her some time, and maybe start by keeping the PDA to yourself,” Lindsey said calmly, patting Tobin’s knee. To be honest, the preath kissing was even beginning to wear on her, so she could only imagine how you felt about it. She had asked, but you always clammed up.

“We’re not going to stop being a couple to cushion her feelings,” Tobin huffed crossings her arms like a petulant child. That wasn’t fair to them either. 

“I’m not asking you to, but it might be more courteous for the two of you not have a fucking make out session while she’s sitting at the same table,” Lindsey mumbled gently. She hated how quiet you got, how much you retreated into yourself when the two women were around. She just wished that she could relieve your pain (what she didn’t know was that she already did). 

“I’m going to go talk to Chris, just… let me know that she made it to movie night in one piece alright?” Tobin asked hesitantly, and Lindsey gave her a tiny nod. Protective instincts were hard to break, and Tobin had been your protector for a long time. Hell, you had moved in with her after your parents kicked you out when they caught you making out with your first girlfriend in 9th grade. Her mom was more nurturing to you than your own had ever been, and she was the older sibling that you never had.

Tobin made her way to the door, pausing as she opened it. “Hey Linds, take care of her, ok?” She asked softly, staring at the floor. You were guarded and hard to handle, but maybe Lindsey would be able to break through those walls. 

“I will,” Lindsey nodded solemnly, and she would. 

*****

You’d say that camp was going swimmingly. Vlatko had let you start in the friendly against England, and you scored 3 goals so you were super pumped. It also helped that the English national team was always down for some flirting. So here you were, flirting with Leah Williamson. 

Emily watched you win disdain from the bench, while Lindsey simply wore an amused expression. Leah and Jordan were in a committed relationship, and it was fun to watch you lay on the moves. 

“Are you seriously going to sit here and watch her hit on anything with legs?” Emily asked scrunching up her nose, as you swapped jerseys with Leah. 

“We’re not dating, and it’s her apparently ‘therapist approved coping mechanism’ or whatever,” Lindsey shrugged, a bemused smile on her lips, as Leah and Jordan kissed your cheeks. You had had many conversations with the woman about your ‘coping’, and it seemed that while you didn’t want Lindsey to be your rebound, you had no problems having others fill that role. Somehow you always ended up back in her bed ready to cuddle. 

“Please, you guys have basically been in a relationship since her breakup with Chris, the only difference is that she hooks up with Tinder dates instead of hooking up with you” Emily snorted, remembering the many times she had watched you leave with a tinder date you never returned with. All of the women had a very interesting resemblance to a certain midfielder you both knew rather than a green-eyed forward. 

“We’re not dating,” Lindsey rolled her eyes for the millionth time. Did she like your coping mechanism? No. But she preferred it over the self-deprecating tendencies that have plagued you the first few months after the split. You were a shell of yourself, determined to wear your mental anguish as physical marks on your skin. It had torn her apart to see you like that, and she was proud that you had picked yourself up the way you did. That you allowed her to help you help yourself. 

“No, you guys just call each other nonstop, go on adorable dates and sleep all cuddled up in the same bed,” Emily smirked at the woman. How could two people be so deep in denial? You of your feelings and Lindsey of the status of your relationship. You loved her, anyone with eyes could see that, and Emily often wondered if you were just flaunting your hookup as a bratty way to try and get Lindsey to finally make a claim. 

“She’s not ready for a relationship, and we’re not that close,” Lindsey snapped, tired of this conversation. You weren’t ready to make that commitment and she wasn’t going to force you. You were best friends, and best friends did things like cuddle and call each other and watch movies. 

“You guys have always been emotionally close,” Christen said, staring at the way you were holding Leah’s hand to your chest, smiling what her and Tobin had dubbed the fan smile because it always got people to flock towards you. Her breathing caught when you looked Lindsey’s way, waving at the woman and sending her your real smile. The smile you always saved for Christen. She sat on the bench next to the two women, finally tearing her eyes away from you.“I was always jealous of the way you two clicked from the moment you met,” She murmured, and Lindsey tensed at her presence. 

“Like you clicked with Tobin? Oh, yeah that’s right, we’re not fucking behind everyone’s back,” The blond midfielder scoffed. She had seen the destruction that Christen had left behind. Had seen how much it killed you when the team accepted Preath with open arms. Someone here had to be on your side, and she would back you up all the way. 

“Be nice Linds,” Tobin scolded as she sat on Christen’s other side, sending Lindsey a frown. She didn’t like the rift that had formed between all of you. 

“It’s alright,” Christen murmured, placing a hand on Tobin’s knee. “I know that you’ll never believe me but my greatest regret about this whole thing is that she got hurt in the process,” She finished softly, shaking her head.  She knew that you wouldn’t believe her now, but maybe she could get through to the new women who had stolen your heart. Perhaps one day you would listen to her and give her the forgiveness she was after. 

“She’s right kid. Chris and her were growing apart, and she was growing closer to you,” Tobin added carefully, remembering all of the calls where Christen had called about your distraction. About how you were always talking about team blond. She knew you loved Chris, but there was always some undeniable chemistry between you and Lindsey. 

“I just-, we made a mistake, but I’m glad that she’s got you to help her,” Christen finished softly, a shy smile making its way across her face when you again glanced towards the bench to see if Lindsey was watching you (and when you frowned when she wasn’t). She would always miss how much you craved the attention of the people you loved, almost like a puppy would. 

“We’re not in a relationship because she doesn’t want me to be her rebound from you. I’m like 90% sure she’s not over you.” Lindsey spat. 

“That’s why all her tinder hookups are all blonds and not brunettes right?” Emily smirked. It was a checkmate. The ace in the hole if you will. Lindsey could deny her feelings for you all she wanted and explain away all of the evidence, but she couldn’t explain that. She couldn’t deny that you were attracted to her when all of the girls you picked up looked like her. 

“Shut up guys,” Lindsey grumbled, refusing to concede defeat. Refusing to admit the truth. Christen watched her for a moment, running a hand through her hair. You were running, too afraid to be hurt. She knew that. It’s what you did best. 

“Just don’t let her push you away.” She whispered. It was the only piece of advice she could offer. She wanted you to find your happiness again, and fuckgirl Y/n wasn’t it. 

“I won’t.” Lindsey nodded, grabbing Christen’s hand and squeezing it. She wouldn’t let you run forever. 

*****

Little did she know just how stubborn you could be. It had been a year of almost dating. A year of dancing around the subject, only for you to run away again. Your behavior had become less erratic. You transferred from Utah to Portland, deciding that having Sonnett and Lindsey were a fair trade for having to deal with Tobin’s puppy eyes. 

You hadn’t forgiven her, not yet, but you were making your way there. At least you weren’t blatantly ignoring her anymore. 

In Lindsey’s mind, the greatest victory was that you spent less time getting into other people’s pants and more time hanging out with her. When you transferred to Portland, Lindsey had welcomed you with open arms, even allowing you to share an apartment with her (with the excuse of Mark being unable to find you one of your own). So here you were, in a club celebrating another NWSL championship. 

“You do realize that you’re going to have to be the one to make the first move right?” Emily nudged Lindsey’s shoulder as they watched you dance with a group of girls from the bar. They giggled as you casually grabbed a hand that had tried to work its way up your shirt, placed a kiss on the knuckle, and continued dancing with the girl. They couldn’t deny that you were a smooth operator. 

“What if she’s not ready?” Lindsey asked biting her lip, sighing as you grabbed another hand that was trying to get under your shirt. 

“It’s been a year,” Emily rolled her eyes. God, she had never met two more oblivious people in her entire life.

 “Yeah and she hasn’t hooked up with anyone for like 6 months,” Tobin added, taking a sip of her beer. 

“Plus the two of you have practically been living together,” Emily finished, high fiving Tobin. What it would take to get the two of you together, she didn’t know. But pointing out the obvious couldn’t hurt. 

“It’s just cause she got traded to Portland,” Lindsey shrugged off the implication. 

“She turned down Marks offer to set her up in a loft,” Tobin reminded her, distinctly remembering Marks’ complaints that you had refused his offer to get you a loft in the building she was living in. Your eyes met Lindsey’s from across the room, and you sent her a blinding smile that was reserved only for her and a wink. 

“I think it’s safe to say that she’s waiting for you to make the first move,” Emily laughed, patting Lindsey on the back in encouragement. The only thing missing from your relationship with her was the label. And from the way you shied away from labels, it was safe to say that you weren’t going to be the one asking Lindsey out. 

Lindsey let out a growl when the girl that you were dancing with yet again tried to feel your abs. You frowned at the insistent hand. How could the girl not get the hint? She marched in your direction, tapping the girl on the shoulder. 

“Mind if I cut in,” she spat, the girl taking a step back in shock. Lindsey took the opportunity to slip in front of you, pulling your hands to her waist. 

“Linds?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing, pulling her close to you so you could talk to her over the loud music of the clip. 

“I’m in love with you, but I think you know that, and I think that you’re in love with me too,” She said firmly, her blue eyes staring into your own as she connected your foreheads. 

“I don’t want you to be a rebound,” you whispered, your breath fanning across her lips. Your cheeks flushed at the intimacy of the situation. You loved Lindsey, but another relationship scared you.

“You don’t spend hours on the phone with your rebound. You don’t move to a different city to be closer to them. You don’t share the connection That we do. I’m so much more than a rebound and you know it. You just have to take that leap,”

She finished breathlessly, and just like the night of your breakup you leaned up and placed a gentle kiss in her lips. And just like the first time, your lips fit together like they were made for each other, moving in harmony together. 

Her tongue probed your bottom lip and allowed her to deepen the kiss. Her fingers tangled in the baby hairs at the lack of your neck, and your hands wrapped around her Lower back to pull her closer to you. You reluctantly pulled away when air became an issue, keeping your eyes closed as your rested your foreheads together, bumping her nose with your own. 

“Go on a date with me?” She asked, and your eyes snapped open to meet hers. 

“Mmm, I wouldn’t like anything more,” You smiled, pecking her lips again. You knew Lindsey would be so much more than a rebound. She would be the love of your life.