#Self-protection

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

It’s scary trusting people again.

[the-healing-mindset]

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[ladyy--lazarus]

Wow, this new protective me is strong as fuck and sees all the red flags. It still takes some time to focus the whole picture, but in whole, it takes less time for me to connect internally and know something or someone is not for me. I am grateful for my growth and healing.

[lokavisi]

Unplanned Book Review Time!

I don't commit to doing book reviews on this blog because my ability to get through books in any sort of timely manner is spotty at best, but I've been reading two books lately that I really wanted to talk about. Disclaimer: I have not entirely finished either of the them, though my thoughts and feelings on them are strong enough that I can tell you whether or not I recommend them. (Honestly there's enough in the intros to each book to tell you whether they're worth reading or not.) I'm gonna give the reviews below the line since this is going to be long, so before deciding whether you read more I will say one book is on seidr and the other is on general protection magic.

First up is Dean Kirkland's Seiðr Magic: The Norse Tradition of Divination and Trance. I'm just gonna say it up top: do NOT waste your time or money on this. I bought it at Barnes & Noble (I knew nothing about the book or the author but wanted to encourage B&N to keep selling stuff like this), and I really wish I hadn't given this guy my money.

The biggest issue? Gatekeeping. He explicitly says in the introduction, on page 13, "If I am accused of gatekeeping[...]so be it." He's gatekeeping an open practice. That sentence alone tells you everything you need to know about why you need to skip this book. But let's get into specifics:

-He goes on to say that we shouldn't teach "just anyone" interested in seiðr about it because those without an aptitude for it will cause more harm than good. How the hell do people learn anything, then? Do we not know other magic to protect ourselves and undo any potential harm that may result from practicing a magical skill? He continues by explaining a Darwinian selection process of finding the people "meant" to practice seiðr. So you know, like eugenics.

-Any time he presents a ritual of any nature, he always makes it sound like you should be doing it exactly the way he describes, even if he ends the description with "but you can work with what you have." In one chapter he details this whole ritualized journey into the woods to find a branch from a tree to make your seiðr staff, and that you shouldn't just use dead fallen branches or the like. Literally every person I know who practices seiðr has been gifted their staff, through someone's direct intentions (like as a birthday gift or something) or more indirect ways like in my own experience: I was not looking for a staff when I went on a hike with my in-laws, but I picked up a fallen stick to use as a walking stick and Odin was like, "THAT IS YOUR MAGIC STICK TAKE IT WITH YOU IT IS YOURS." And I'm not gonna argue with Odin.

-Kirkland says you should spend as much money as possible on your ritual attire. This is after he acknowledges that Thorbjorg's extravagant costume (mentioned in the Saga of Erik the Red) is not about a display of wealth, but of spiritual power. He encourages you to build up your gear one piece at a time if you're financially struggling, but my guy, even that isn't possible for a lot of folks. You're saying people need to spend loads of money for a hood to wear over your head. You could have a designated seiðr hoodie and have just as effective a practice. Seriously.

-In the same vein, he always emphasizes that all materials used in your gear should be made from natural materials. As if that is always accessible to people. Not everyone is able to spend hours in the great outdoors. A lot of plastic-based goods are easier to obtain for folks. None of that prevents or prohibits you from a healthy seiðr practice.

-He also generally uses a lot of language that, on the surface, sounds logical and sound, but when you stop to think about it is super gatekeepy. This obnoxious and harmful tone colors the entire text and is frustrating beyond words.

As if gatekeeping weren't enough, Kirkland uses some credentials and experience to indicate expertise where he just doesn't have any. While he may have earned the right to put "Ph.D." after his name, including it on this book feels like he's chasing clout and feigning legitimacy. His Ph.D. is in ecology. Not anything related to religion or history of ancient Germanic Europe. But if you don't look closely, seeing he has a Ph.D. gives the appearance that he knows what he's talking about. It's disingenuous at best and intentionally deceptive at worst. His author biography mentions that he studied Andean shamanism under an indigenous paco. That's great! Good for him! But he's a white guy acting like an authority on various shamanistic practices, as he likens shamanic practices from several cultures to scant pieces of evidence we have to seiðr practice. This lends itself to the general issue with most books on seiðr, that our genuine lack of knowledge about the practice leads folks to fill in the gaps from other oracular traditions. If you utilize something like that based on your personal UPG and use that for yourself in your practice, that is one thing. But when you are teaching others with your UPG that involves traditions often closed to folks like yourself, maybe don't try to pass it off as the most correct way to practice seiðr. He says at the beginning that he will identify his UPG throughout the text, but he fails to do so quite often as he treats his connections to other oracular practices as Truth.

The truth is, pretty much every book we have on practicing seiðr includes the author's UPG and syncretism with other oracular traditions. If you're looking for "true" traditional seiðr practices, our archeological and written records offer extremely little. Personally, I would encourage you to build your own practice around your UPG (and maybe some appropriate SPG) and the known lore/practices if you are looking to develop a seiðr practice. My friends recently reworked Diana Paxson's method to include more lore-based elements, for example. As long as you know what sources you're filling in the gaps with for your personal practice, that's fine. Just make sure you explain that to others. Do not try to pass it off like The Way to Do Seidr like this jerk was trying to. There are a few interesting pieces of actual facts or rituals, but I wouldn't recommend spending money to read just for those trace elements. There are better people to learn seiðr from. (That said, if you lack an actual teacher and are learning from sources like Kirkland's, read this and all other seiðr books with a grain of salt and the understanding that this magical practice is not something we can fully and exactly recreate. Sorry, recons. You're gonna have to acknowledge the need to develop unique modern practices.)

And now for a book that I absolutely ADORE, Amy Blackthorn's Blackthorn's Protection Magic. This is one I borrowed from a friend and would love to spend the money to buy my own copy. Not being able to take notes and highlight in the book itself has been killing me!

Amy starts the book with an exercise for you to identify your own personal ethics in regards to protection of any kind. I did not expect anything like that, but I was pleasantly surprised. That kind of a foundation is crucial in practicing any form of magic, really, so starting the book with that solid foundation is incredibly useful before you even start to practice any of the spells and protection methods she explains through out the text. This is such an important conversation that witches need to be having internally and with each other. It made me contemplate things that I never had before, and reading her own responses to the questions she poses gave me insight into other perspectives on the matter of safety and protection.

Additionally, she makes a point to explicitly address mental health and physical protection. Understanding your mental health and any potential diagnoses is not only helpful for your general wellbeing, but it also helps you in discerning things like whether someone has cursed you or your depression is hitting you really hard. Equally important, she recognizes that spells aren't necessarily going to help you when someone's fist is coming towards your face. There is an entire section of the book dedicated to physical awareness and self-defense. Blackthorn's mindful acknowledgment of the balance of the mundane and the magical is something that I wish more magical practitioners understood and promoted, whether it's in regard to protection or any other kind of magic. It was absurdly refreshing to read any sort of witch, pagan, or adjacent text that so succinctly articulates this balanced approach.

As for the actual spells and methods presented in the book, I have yet to utilize many of them. (There's a lot and I am only one person, though some things I was already doing some version of myself, like visualizations.) However, I can say that she discusses the following in regards to protection magic techniques: visualizations, crystals/grids, plants and garden arrangements, physical and situational awareness, signs that you may be hexed/cursed/jinxed, home security, essential oils, use of tarot cards, incense, and various magical correspondences (like moon phases and colors). She offers a wide variety of options that you can pick and choose, and adapt to your personal needs or means. For instance, the chapter about plants discusses particular species and arrangements for outdoor gardens, as well as ones for indoor use (particularly useful if you live in an apartment and want to utilize plants in your magic); and visualizations require no materials whatsoever and is accessible to everyone.

Blackthorn also makes a point to help you determine the authenticity, quality, and traits of your tools. She explains ways to recognize counterfeit gemstones, how certain plants need to be tended to or how they interact with other plants, and how common items can be utilized for physical protection in a pinch. She presents everything in a way that empowers you to make informed decisions about your personal safety, which is what any sort of text like this should do.

From just the introduction piece on ethics alone, I would highly recommend this book. All of the practices and methods Blackthorn discusses are written in a clear and straightforward way. She covers several bases as someone who used to work in security herself, and really drives home the need for combining magical and mundane methods of protection to keep yourself, your loved ones, and your property as safe as possible. Again, I can't sing this book's praises enough. This would be an excellent addition to any witch's library.

If you've read either of these books, I'm curious what your thoughts on them are! Feel free to reblog, comment, or hit up my asks/PMs to discuss!

[himmurf]

Can I get some comfort? I posted this to a local queer Facebook group to derision from an admin and a user. They act like I am a traitor to the community for even consider doing this for my safety in a private sector of my life...

For those people who need to hear it, there is nothing wrong with going back into the closet for your own safety. You aren't less queer because you can't be queer publicly. You aren't less trans because you have to act like you're not trans.

If you need to start going by your old pronouns or quietly go back into the closet to be safe - you are allowed to do that. Please do that if it means you're alive.

Your safety is important.

You are important.

And if you know someone who has to do this, don't push them. Don't out them. Follow their lead. People's safety is more important that grandstanding.

[helpfromheaven]

Time to Let Myself Out of the Prison of Self-Protection

I missed the 55th high school reunion last month. I paid the money to attend, and at the last moment, I used having a small cold to change my mind. I had not seen most of the 511 other alumni for the whole 55 years. I was determined to put my fears of what might happen aside and try to enjoy myself for two days. I was on I was on the last two doses of antibiotics, so I wasn’t still contagious. I…

[ajournalofconscious]

Codex

the following is my code of interpersonal ethics. it was established to address oversights regarding past interactions with women (& others). these guidelines serve to protect my recently restored self-integrity & personal dignity. they are are listed below in random order:

1. trust is earned, not given

2. give respect to receive it

3. always extend common courtesy

4. reserve judgment until it’s warranted

5. equal reciprocation is mandatory

6. never tolerate manipulation

7. always maintain healthy boundaries

8. always practice fairness

9. never compromise self-integrity

10. always preserve self-dignity

i’ve spent over three decades painstakingly rebuilding a healthy baseline of self-esteem. thus, my blood oath is that nobody will take it away from me again - ever.

that is all.

[wciblackbeltacademy]

Explore Adaptive Bojutsu with Dai-Shihan Jeffrey Miller

Uncover the history and tactical applications of different staff lengths in martial arts (Bo, Jo, Hanbo) on today's live episode of Warrior's Whiteboard Wednesday at 3PM eastern. Perfect for those who want to understand the logic behind the ancient warrior's practical, historical lessons so that they can translate them into modern self-protection tactics and strategies that they can count on. 🥋 https://youtube.com/live/SZfZKMuOEn0

[telomeke]

ID text–

Post on Subreddit r/TrueOffMyChest by Redditor u/marshmallowcakes, posted 2:55PM UTC 17 June 2023:

I (28F) was 24 years old at the time, and worked in this independent kitchen with no HR department as a cook for several years. There was a brief period of time where a coworker was pulling my hair repeatedly after being asked and told not to. He didn’t even stop when my managers told him to fuck off. So I got permission from my sous to take things into my own hands. I braided my hair for work one day and wove thumbtacks into it. I was met with a yelp when he tried to pull my hair again, and he never did it again. This has been on my mind lately because it was a pivotal moment for me in the way I allowed people to treat me.

Based

[mydayswithtarotbystella]

Bullying... & Standing Up for Yourself

Confrontation, conflict, comparison, and judgment are inevitable parts of human interaction. These elements can become particularly harmful when they manifest as bullying. Understanding how to navigate these situations, especially when you find yourself the target of bullying, is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. Confrontation & Conflict Confrontation and conflict…

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Don’t let someone get comfortable in disrespecting you.

[fairsweetlonging]

headcanon that shen qingqiu (yuan) once yanked his plate away when someone reached for it and yue qingyuan got all teary eyed about it because his xiao jiu still has food insecurities and the memory loss must have made it worse, and he keeps getting shen yuan snacks and treats that he can squirrel away because yue qingyuan knows what it's like to worry about where your next meal comes from, and he's trying to help by ensuring that shen qingqiu is never without

meanwhile shen yuan has never truly been hungry but he did have two older brothers and a younger sister who would shamelessly steal things from his plate when they grew up and the instinct to protect his food has never left him so he WILL bite someone when they reach for his protagonist-made spring rolls

[asrarblog]

Emotional Profiles of Bosses – Overly Self-Protecting Type – Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #904

[mexicanistnet]

Empowerment in the Digital Age: Irene Soria Guzman advocates 'digital care'—debunking myths and urging self-protection. Germán Téllez Leal reveals cyberbullying's alarming scale in Mexico.

[limerence-leftovers]

I know two men who are currently single. One is 26, and the other is 38.

I’ve spoken with both of them at length about what they want in a woman, seeing as they’re cishet and white.

They both immediately went for physical attributes. Thin, but needs to have a nice butt. Boobs can’t be too big. One likes short hair, the other likes long hair. They also went into facial features for some reason. That was the part that made me really uncomfortable as I hadn’t expected either of them to have been that focused on appearances.

Aesthetics came next. Both want ‘alt goth / witchy’ women. It should be worth noting both of these men said their potential partner can’t wear too much makeup.

Lastly came personality and interests. They both said this is the most important thing to them, but they also ‘have to be pretty’. Oh, and they need to listen.

I have some single ladies I’ve also spoken with.

It’s the opposite. They rarely care about looks. It’s about chemistry, emotional connection, feeling safe, and sharing common goals / ideals.

While I know it’s not ‘all men’ it sure as fuck is a lot of you. Also both of these men think they’re part of the ‘good cishet white liberal men’ who voted for Kamala, despite one of them not voting at all.

He’s the 38 year old. To make things worse, he’s trying to date a 24 year old. 🤷‍♀️ His criteria for a potential partner was also under the age of 30 because it means less baggage and they’re still ‘fun to be around’.

You don’t want to know what he doesn’t bring to the table. Either of them, rather. 😅

We do have a male loneliness epidemic, but it’s not women’s fault. We don’t owe you anything. We’re not vending machines you put tokens into and get sex out of. Male culture made by men and perpetuated by men has made men this way. And it’s your job as men to fix it, not point the finger at us and say it’s our fault for not wanting to be with you. Some of us like myself want to actually HELP you, but you guys rarely want to listen. You instead want to complain to us about our gender and how unfair we’re being by not giving you a chance.

We don’t owe you anything.

On January 20th, 2025 and forward, they’re going to try to take our rights. They may succeed.

Men have to take from us because they’ve gaslit themselves into seeing us as the enemy, despite having driven us away by their own actions centered around self interest.

“It’s not all men. But it sure is a lot of you.”

[egophiliac]

we were fucking ROBBED