#See this is why we love you Cynthia

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that Cynthia would like Kingdom Hearts for the exact same reason she likes Graces f (the homoerotic tension,,,,,,)

[webslingingslasher]

What if trouble tries to do something different with her hair and it just fails so hard. She’d be like ‘you’re not allowed to see me, come back in a month’

poor trouble 😭😭😭

--

bf!frat!peter

you know who's at the door before you can check it. there's a feeling in your bones and it makes it seem like the world is ending.

'nope! go away, i'm sick!'

'i thought you had a bunch of homework to do?'

fuck. 'i can multitask!'

'oh really? open the door and prove it.'

'no!'

'trouble, i'm not leaving. do i need to call my friend to get through this door?' a light jiggle on your doorknob, not that he would, but peter could break through in two seconds.

there's only one way to stop him from trying. 'i think we should b-'

'i need you to think very carefully about what you're about to say, trouble. because i will take this fucking door off it's hinges.'

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. you're fucked.

'see? i'm delirious, you should go home.'

'trouble,' uh oh, that's his serious voice. it's low and deep, missing all hints of warmth. 'open the door.' you move without thinking and keep your head down when you welcome him in.

'it's not bad.'

you wheeze. it's terrible.

'shut up, shut up, shut up! it's so, so bad and i don't need your pity just because i'm fucking you! oh my god, i hate myself and i have no idea why i did this.'

no, really, it's not bad. the way ally was talking had peter expecting the worst but it's really not that bad. sure, it wasn't very flattering, but it wasn't ugly.

'if you never did it, how would you know you didn't like it, right? i promise, trouble, i came over here thinking you'd be like cynthia from rugrats. but no, you're just as beautiful as ever. your hair doesn't affect that for me.'

'really? cause your hair is in my top three favorite features.'

'what if i went bald?'

'i'd divorce you and i'm so serious.'

'aw, conditional love. how sweet.'

you might not be yelling at yourself anymore but you don't look like you're sold on it. 'can i please give my girlfriend a kiss?' you nod, peter steps up and makes up for lost time.

'peter-'

'see? i wasn't lying, trouble. if it was bad there's no way i'd be popping a boner right now. so, can i please show you how much i like it?' 

[johns-prince]

John was being honest when he described himself as dead lazy, and so having a partner and bff like Paul was perfect for him since Paul is such a workaholic and can hardly sit still.

John needed a push, someone who could carefully and patiently nudge and drive him along, or at least light the fire under his butt, because if not he could become listless, lethargic, and stuck. I'd say this was pretty obvious during the 70s.

Paul was perfectly suited for John in this, like in so many other ways too. Paul seemed not at all bothered, but quite comfortable with this position in their relationship, as far as I can tell. I'm thinking back to Paul making his way to John's house in Kenwood, that he'd often have to wake John up, this involving cups of tea or coffee. Maybe they did some writing and playing, maybe they didn't, as Paul said it was his way to get out of London.

Or, how Paul, John, and Ringo (sans George) had to do a Christmas recording, and how Paul, the whole time, was gently and patiently urging John on to just do it.

I think they're a perfect encapsulation of their relationship, these moments and memories caught.

They both gave each other a harmless need to compete, and to accomplish, together. I mean I'm sure there were plenty of times Paul's patience wore thin with John, and I'm sure John was very intentional in needling that, but insofar that I can tell, Paul really did have exceedingly, almost near limitless patience and love for John as both a partner and a friend.

John needed that, he needed someone like Paul, who could truly and unapologetically put up with him, and love him, and still want to work with him every day, day and night.

Even when the band broke up, the divorce finalized, and John was both loving and hating Paul in tandem for the next ten years... Paul was desperate to write with John again, and John was desperate just to write, you see.

PLAYBOY: But wasn’t it clear that John wanted only to work with Yoko?

LINDA: No. I know that Paul was desperate to write with John again. And I know John was desperate to write … desperate. People thought, Well, he’s taking care of Sean, he’s a house-husband and all that, but he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t write and it drove him crazy. And Paul could have helped him—easily.”

— Linda on John and Paul in the late 70’s and 1980. (X)

While Yoko was definitely driven and career oriented, that didn't necessarily mean she influenced, inspired, or drove John on herself. Not in the way Paul did. I think that's pretty evident, considering he subsumed himself to "house husband", only occasionally baking bread before even that lost his interest, in which he'd keep to lazing about, sleeping hours on end, and mindlessly watching tv.

John was no house husband, the role he took with Yoko was pretty far removed from his potential, even with Cynthia it wasn't that bad.

With Paul, John even thought of writing musicals, and he apparently wasn't even that fond of musicals—but if Paul wanted to do it, like so many other things, then why couldn't John? If John had Paul, then he could do just about anything and everything, really.

“MM: In the early days, did John and Paul really write together?

MARTIN: Yes, but they also wrote separately. “Please Please Me” and “From Me To You” and “I Want To Hold Your Hand” were undoubtedly collaborative efforts. They’d sit down and literally construct the songs together. I can’t remember the first individual songs, although obviously even before I met them they were writing individually, but if you go through them you can hear which of them are John-oriented and which are Paul-oriented. “Yesterday” is obviously Paul, and that’s an interesting point because it was the first time we ever used anyone other than Beatles on a record. There was no one on that record but Paul and a string quartet.

MM: Did you notice them growing apart, developing distinct personalities?

MARTIN: Paul and John had their own identifiable styles: Paul was the syrupy one and John was the hard one. But the rift wasn’t there then. They were really a unit.

MM: Could you tell me what you think of what each one has done individually since the last Beatles record?

MARTIN: I have great admiration for George. He’s done tremendously because it’s a sort of devotion to duty as far as he’s concerned. We forced him into being a loner, I guess … he could never collaborate with anybody in his writing and therefore when the split came he had more strength because he was forced to be alone. He learned an awful lot about producing, studio techniques, and so on, so that he was able … obviously, any one of them had the power - because they had the money - to spend as much time in the recording studio as they liked, and I know that when George made his album he spent six months doing nothing but overdubbing his own voice 16 times and producing his album. To have the tenacity to do that in itself is something of an achievement, but to go along and actually produce good sounds and good music and good lyrics with it is tremendous. I’m full of admiration for that.

I think the other two have suffered by comparison, because they’ve each indulged themselves in their own way. John’s become more obvious in a way … “Power To The People” is a rehash of “Give Peace A Chance,” and it isn’t really very good. It doesn’t have the intensity that John’s capable of. Paul, similarly with his first album … it was nice enough, but very much a home-made affair, and very much a little family affair. I don’t think he ever really rated it as being as important as the stuff he’d done before.

I don’t think Linda is a substitute for John Lennon, any more than Yoko is a substitute for Paul McCartney.”

— George Martin, Melody Maker Interview, 1971. (X)

John was very partner orientated. He needed someone, whether he liked it or not, and he needed them to need him too.

He didn't like being a husband, but he liked having a wife, someone there for him constantly, who loves him and will care for him. John had Cynthia for that, at the start. John had Pete as his partner in crime, bestest of mates, when they were just kids.

Then, John had Paul, and turns out, Paul just about covered all of that, too, and plus it. A best friend, a coconspirator, a wife, a collaborator, his partner, his rival and his greatest ally and muse. Cherry on top, Paul needed John just as badly, madly. Maybe John never saw it that way, maybe that was why he had his fear, his insecurity that Paul never really needed him as much as John needed him.

“IRVIN: Back then people were very keen on knowing who the leader of the group was…

GEORGE M.: Yes, I was. When I first auditioned them I said, “Who’s going to be the leader, is it John or Paul?” Such an odd couple really, because they were diferent and yet very similar, both had big egos, both very good songwriters, but they needed each other like mad.

IRVIN: Did they really like each other? It wasn’t just a competitive partnership.

GEORGE M.: Oh no, they loved each other! They were brothers, and like brothers they pissed each other off quite a lot. John could be maddening at times, Paul can be very bossy and even more maddening and George would get fed up with both of them. But they did love each other and adored what the other did and had an incredible bond.

Paul always took inspiration from John, especially in his lyric-writing. ‘Eleanor Rigby’, for example, wouldn’t have happened without John’s influence. Paul wrote all of it but John’s influence was there and similarly John was knocked out by the freshness Paul brought to melodies and harmonies. He learnt from Paul how to put in the odd chord that choked you up a bit.”

— George Martin, interview w/ Jim Irvin for Mojo: Sir George Martin: The Mojo interview. (March, 2007) (X)

I think I've gone off tangent, but the point of this was to say, John was dead lazy, vastly intelligent and talented, but very prone to sloth. Paul was a rather perfect stopper to that. He could whip John up, get him moving, shaking, ever patient and ever loving, just the right enough of mean, bitchy and stubborn, smart and quick tongued, to meet John toe-to-toe. Like a house on fire these two fired each other up, talk about all-consuming and intense.

They were pretty perfectly matched for each other.

“It was like a tug of war. Imagine two people pulling on a rope, smiling at each other and pulling all the time with all their might. The tension between the two of them made for the bond.”

— George Martin on Lennon/McCartney (X)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 

Always looking at each other with every single joke. 

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Dogs

Hildur Knutsdottir: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the night guest Knutsdottir: its about a woman who gets a full night's sleep so you would think she would be well rested (she's not) Knutsdottir: it's almost like something is possessing her while she sleeps (something is)

Knutsdottir: this possession Knutsdottir: you might think it's the yule lads (it's not the yule lads) Knutsdottir: or maybe grylla (its not grylla) Knutsdottir: perhaps its the hidden people (its not the hidden people)

Knutsdottir: now this woman also has a dead sister Knutsdottir: so you would think maybe the ghost of her dead sister is possessing her King: Poe: Lovecraft: Koontz: Barker: King: um King: was there supposed to be a parenthetical there Knutsdottir: not saying

Knutsdottir: now of course when this woman has weird sleep problems, you would of course take advantage of our socialized medical system to see a doctor (she does this) Knutsdottir: but even socialized medicine is not free from the scourge of sexism (there's a lot of it) Angela Carter: yes yes this scans

Knutsdottir: anyway that's the Icelandic socialized medicine system for you Dan Simmons: why do you have to bring politics into this? Simmons: i just want a nice apolitical scary story Knutsdottir: ok i'll fast forward to the cat murders Lovecraft: WHAT

Knutsdottir: yeah someone's been killing cats (it's her) which you wouldn't expect (she loves cats) Lovecraft: i can't listen to this! Lovecraft: i can tolerate rac- Barker: we know howard you say that everytime Lovecraft: it's my catch phrase! Barker: no it's not!

Knutsdottir: every night she walks across the city (to the harbor) Knutsdottir: now you think she might be visiting Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur (but she's not) Cynthia Pelayo: aw that hot dog ain't no good! King: what? hot dog? Knutsdottir: you're entitled to your opinion (it's actually the best in the city)

Pelayo: what dya even put on a hot dog over there? King: why are we talking about hot dogs? Knutsdottir: með öllu Pelayo: pfft! með öllu indeed! Pelayo: ya don't even know what you're getting!

Pelayo: i tell you, you want a hot dog, you get it CHICAGO STYLE Pelayo: mustard, chopped onion, pickle spears, sport peppers Pelayo: YEAH! CHICAGO STRONG, BABY!!! Pelayo: GO BEARS OR MAYBE WHITE SOX!!!

Knutsdottir: no no see a hot dog should have remolaði sauce (and apple ketchup) Pelayo: wtf! the only sauce that goes on a dog is mustard Knutsdottir: WHAT?! like the infidel bill Clinton?! (he ordered with only mustard during his 2004 visit) Knutsdottir: NEVER!!! Knutsdottir: it's með öllu!!! always með öllu!!!

Lovecraft: now i prefer my sausages providence style Barker: no you don't Barker: that's not even a thing Lovecraft: no it is! its when you put a Vienna sausage on a slice of white bread Barker: howard, we all know you don't eat ethnic food

Pelayo: who's ready for mouth watering hot dogs?? Lovecraft: ah sausages! Pelayo: Hebrew national hot dogs! Lovecraft: Lovecraft: [sweats]

[celestialholz]

Today in Gay People: Hassel.

There's something I've noticed about our resident art teacher, and that's... well, Flapple. I mean, we all know how gay the whole Applin deal is, but... well, it's where it is that's particularly interesting.

This is Steven Stone's team.

This is Cynthia's team...

This is Wallace's team...

I could go on. (And yes, I'm using champions because, like Hassel, they're important, powerful NPCs with a proper team, and let's be real here, Hassel is five minutes, that Tournament Dragonite and a fuck to give away from kicking Geeta out of his office.)

But the point here is... well, that penultimate slot. The fifth slot in a champion's team - or fourth, in Hassel's case - is reserved for the vice-captain role. It's the Pokemon hardest to take down before the ace, meant to weaken you up - the secondary signature mon. We see here with Milotic - defence for days, Marvel Scale, offensive too. And we see it with Armaldo - excellent attack, difficult type. And then we see it with Gyrados - Dragon Dance, Earthquake, power. Utility. That second-to-last slot is designed to weaken you up for the finale, the real powerhouse of the squad. Leon does it too - his fifth slot is the starter strong against yours, the one you may not have a counter to if your team-building isn't on point.

... And then we have Hassel.

... Now, there's a few things to note here.

Flapple shares the same quad weakness as Noivern, which leads. That's, er... different.

Flapple, statistically, is the weakest Pokemon here. Not by a lot - Dragalge is only ten points or so better, but it's a defensive Pokemon. It's meant to fill that role, as well as being a counter to Fairies.

Flapple isn't the utility mon most penultimate-slot mons are.

... And yet, here it is. Now, I could draw upon Hassel's six-mon Tournament team here, which adds Dragonite into this slot instead, but the Tournament is Hassel fucking about. He's been chilling in the staffroom and someone's gone "oh, that champion-rank kid's up, get out here." The Elite Test line-up is him at work. He's specifically chosen to leave a pseudo-legendary at home... for Flapple.

And why would he do that? @edgeanescence pointed out on the EphemeralArt Discord that the penultimate slot is meant to represent the trainer; the personality and the heart of them, as well as acting as vice-captain. And, well...

Cynthia's is a Milotic. Grace, beauty, the defence of Sinnoh against Cyrus.

Steven's is an Armaldo. A fossil, a Rock-type, the strongest of all fossils at the time - perfect sentiments for him.

Wallace's is a Gyrados. Power, controlled by a former eighth gym slot; ferocity in water.

... And Hassel's is a Flapple. Like him, she has power, but what she represents as a Grass/Dragon is much more important to him than raw offence or defence. She is his softness; she is his tears, and pride in his students; she is part-Brassius. Whether Brassius gave him the Flapple or not is irrelevant, though it's pretty compelling that he did - this man takes a representation of his heart and of his love into battle over the Dragonite, who has 120 more points of stats. By rights, even if he's leaving the Dragonite at home, Haxorus should be here if this is about power, not Flapple.

And you can tell me that it's about game balance as much as you like, but oh look:

Brassius's rematch team, everyone, and look at that penultimate slot.

Look at that Arboliva sculpture, with Brass's own spikiness and Dragon-type purple-tinged blue.

Brassius is not like Appletun, the obvious counterpoint here. Brassius is drama; Brassius is a man formerly weak, much like Smoliv; Brassius is not home comforts, apple pies, yet he's surprisingly kind and encouraging. Reminding you of anything?

... Ah, yes. Arboliva, depending on mood. And, if you're not already convinced...

That's Flapple, in the Violet dex. Strong, and covered in clay. Like a fucking artist, or a man who loves a sculptor.

When the chips are down, when they show up to work, when they have important, key battles, Hassel and Brassius don't just take their Pokemon to the arena.

They take themselves, and they take each other.

[hwabang]

When the First Love Returns - Sim Jaeyun

Summary: After Jake starts giving all of his attention to his first love from high school, you start to pull away leaving the boy absolutely miserable.

Genre: angst + fluff ending

Warnings: fem!reader, established relationship, jealous reader, mentions of breaking up, mentions of insecurity, jake is kinda clueless in the beginning, ig you could say this is set a couple years in the future? in the sense that jake is close to proposing to y/n

Author’s Note: jake is not one of my three biases so tell me why i have two works for him before ANYTHING about heejay😭 (jungwon stans are eating well tho yw)

Word Count: ~ 4.2k

NOTICE: (the names used for side characters are fake names, with the exception of the enhypen members. the fake names don't represent any real life characters.)

(gif not mine!)

You were in the kitchen finishing up the dishwashing when you heard lots of rustling by the front door. Drying your hands you walked out to the main area to see Jake walking into your shared apartment with shopping bags in his hand and the biggest smile you'd seen in a while.

Jake quickly yet gently put the bags down and beckoned you over. Smiling, you walked over and wrapped your arms around his neck. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pecked your lips. "Guess what? My high school friend group is coming to Korea for a vacation!"

You widened your eyes in excitement. "Really? Jake that's great!"

He eagerly nodded, picking up the shopping bags again and walking to the table with you following behind. "I know right! I'm so happy 'cuz I haven't seen them in a while yeah, but we really haven't spoken in forever too. For some of them it's their first time coming to Korea so I can't wait to show them around. I worked around my schedule today so I'll be able to give them enough time."

You nodded along as you took out the takeout from the bags he brought, setting the table for the two of you. "How long will they be here?"

"Two weeks. It feels short for me honestly but it's fine, I'm gonna make the most of it."

"Yeah you definitely should. Invite them for dinner as soon as they get here. I know you probably want to take them out for dinner, but I haven't met them yet and I cook well."

Jake's smile got bigger if it was even possible. He was so happy to hear you suggesting to cook dinner for his friends. If Jake loved anything more than you, it was showing you off. And what better way to do that than bringing his friends into your shared home to see how well you keep it?

He walked up behind you and kissed behind your earlobe. "Thank you baby. I can't wait for you to meet them... Uh, one thing I wanted to talk to you about though."

You turned around to face him, seeing him biting his lip nervously. "What's wrong honey?"

"Well, uh.. they're gonna be here for two weeks so I might not be able to give you all the time that I want to.. so I just wanted to apologize in advance," Jake admitted blushing.

You cooed at the sweet gesture and kissed his cheek. "It's okay honey, I'm fine with that."

– – –

You were definitely not fine with that. Well, not a couple days in.

As soon as Jake's friends landed, they took a taxi to their hotels and after they washed up, they all came straight to yours and Jake's apartment for dinner.

As they walked into the apartment Jake introduced all of them to you; Alex, Cynthia, Taesu, Ben, Leo, and Minji. The 6 of them were so happy to meet you, saying they felt as if they knew you so well just because Jake constantly talked about you.

The dinner went well; you tried to get closer to the girls and the boys went with Jake to have "guy talk" (whatever that is). They were both really nice and genuinely seemed interested in you.

"Hey Y/N, where's the restroom?" Cynthia asked?

"Ah down the hall to the left," you replied. Cynthia quickly excused herself as you turned back to Minji. "So Minji, you said it's been a while since you've been back in Korea right?"

She hummed. "Yeah, I think last time was about 6 years ago? I remember nothing," she laughed.

You responded with a slight laugh as well. "Yeah, a lot has changed in the past couple years I've been living here too."

"Yeah.. you know I'm so happy Jake found you."

You gave her a genuine eye smile, feeling warm from the compliment. "Thank you Minji! That means a lot, really."

The warm feeling was gone as soon as it came when Minji said a sentence that made you halt.

"I mean, from the way he cried when we broke up, I was sure he'd never get over his first love."

You didn't know much from Jake's pre-debut life, having met him well after ENHYPEN debuted. You two also weren't the type to be jealous of previous relationships since you're both really loyal, so you never asked him to tell you all the details about his past relationships.

But the girl who was his first love being in your shared apartment right now? Left a bitter taste in your mouth.

"Did you not know?" Minji asked when you were quiet. "He didn't tell you?"

"No I–"

"I'm back!" Cynthia said. You were relieved, thinking Minji wouldn't bring up the topic in front of Cynthia but boy were you wrong.

"Cyn!" Minji called out. "Y/N didn't know Jake and I were a couple!"

Cynthia eyed her friend as she sat in her chair. "I mean.. that was so long ago and she's been dating Jake for the last 3 years so.. I don't think it matters anyways."

Minji was clearly taken aback but quickly shook her head. "No no no, it's weird isn't it? How could he not tell his girlfriend about his first love?"

"Maybe because he's over it?" Cynthia said matter of factly. "And you should be too." She gave a stern look to her friend and turned back to you giving you a sweet smile. "Sorry.. anyways, back to the Hello Kitty Cafe!"

After his friends had left for the night, you were contemplating asking Jake about it. It didn't really matter because again, you were in a 3 year long relationship with Jake and you guys were really committed to each other. You don't have to ask him right? Right, let's just not ruin his mood.

But Jake noticed. Jake notices everything when it comes to you; he blatantly admits his life revolves around you and that that's a 100% his choice. So after you guys got ready for bed and laid down to cuddle, Jake decided to ask you.

"I'm fine, what are you talking about?"

He squinted his eyes in disbelief. "Nah baby, you know better than to lie to me. I can see right through you," he said booping your nose. "Now tell me, what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"No it's just.. I didn't know your first love would be coming here."

Jake looked at you confused for a bit for a light bulb lit up in his head. "Oh! Minji?" You pouted, making Jake laugh. "Baby, she's just part of the friend group. I don't really talk to the girls in a private setting. Well, sometimes I talk to Cynthia privately, like rarely, but I haven't talked to Minji privately since I moved to Korea."

You nodded. "No I know.. I'm not upset she's your friend necessarily but it would've been nice to know your first love was coming to our apartment."

"I understand... I'm sorry. I should've mentioned it but to be honest I'm pretty much forgetting our previous relationship, which is why I didn't really think about it. But don't worry, that relationship from high school will never effect our current relationship."

You believed Jake; of course you did. Jake had shown you nothing but pure raw love the last 3 years of your relationship. You two were also talking about marriage a lot recently, so you had no reason to doubt Jake's love and loyalty towards you.

But that doesn't stop the gut wrenching feeling you started getting real soon.

Jake had already told you he'd be spending time with his friends a lot these next two weeks. You were completely fine with this but it started irking you when he was going to hang out with just Minji.

"Babe, Minji lost her luggage and needs a ride to the airport, I'll be back soon."

"Hey love Minji asked me to drop her off at her grandmother's. It's kind of far so I'll be like 2-3 hours."

"Minji is really sick so I'm gonna drop her off at the hospital."

"Minji asked me to pick up meds for her."

"Minji wants to go to a cafe."

"Minji is visiting a friend but asked me to pick her up since it'll be really late by the time she's done."

Minji this, Minji that, almost everything coming out of Jake's mouth recently was about Minji.

You were already annoyed but even more so when you found out Minji changed her hotel room to a solo room from sharing one with Cynthia.

"She's my friend," Cynthia said on the phone. "and I love her to death. But girl has a hard time letting things go. She talks about Jake a lot to our college friends which is weird because they don't even talk?? I don't know Y/N, I don't wanna rat my friend out but I do care about yours and Jake's relationship and I would hate if my friend ruined that. Jake's a little clueless as you know so just mention to him that it's bothering you yeah? He'll stop I'm sure."

But you couldn't. It was so embarrassing for you to even think about admitting to Jake you didn't like him being with Minji so much. You weren't usually jealous, you weren't ever controlling, so this whole feeling was so new to you and you hated it. You knew Cynthia was right; if you mentioned that him being with Minji bothered you even the slightest, Jake would stop right away. But it's just two weeks, you can handle it right?

Wrong.

The two weeks passed by in a breeze. Most of the times Jake saw Minji was in a group setting when everyone hung out together and you were always invited. The group hang outs were always a blast with no drama. Jake was always sitting next to you and one of his male friends. Cynthia would make sure every time Minji was next to her and not near Jake at all. But even if she was, you don't think it would matter much; as mentioned before, Jake was obsessed with you, absolutely infatuated with you. He constantly had a hand around your shoulder when sitting or waist and continuously would kiss cheek forehead or lips. He'd feed you, move your hair from your face, call you pretty in the middle of conversation. This man had absolutely zero shame showing PDA in front of his friends which silently consulted you.

But the hardest part was when you two would get back to your apartment, and not even an hour later Minji would hit Jake up for a favor or just because she was feeling down and needed a friend. Even though she had 5 other friends in the same hotel floor as her...

So the two weeks passed and you were feeling a bittersweet feeling. You actually really enjoyed the company of Jake's friends, especially Cynthia's, so you were sad since you'd miss them. But you were also reassured knowing Minji would be leaving.

But she wasn't. The day they were leaving she abruptly announced she extended her ticket another MONTH, something about not wanting to waste her summer break in Australia when she was enjoying Korea so much.

Annoying, yes. But you know what was even MORE annoying? Infuriating, even?

"Hey baby.. uh, Minji is asking if she can stay with us for the rest of her trip."

You momentarily halted but quickly caught yourself and continued typing on your computer. "Oh, yeah that's fine."

How could you say no? What was your reason? Your first love is flirting with you clearly and you're fucking clueless so no?? You didn't wanna be that girlfriend.

Jake came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your sitting form. "Are you sure baby? I don't want you to be uncomfortable.. I can tell that you've been a little bothered ever since you found out I dated her."

You felt guilty. You tried so hard to hide it but turns out you weren't that good at it. You turned in your seat and smiled up at him. "Jake, it's okay. I would feel bad having your friend stay at a hotel for a month when we have a perfect place to accommodate guests."

jake kissed you passionately, loving how kind and caring you were. "Thank you angel, you're truly the best thing to ever happen to me."

No matter how many sweet words or loving touches he gave you, you were still letting the voices in your head get to you. Minji was now staying with you, but you were noticing things that irked you.

You know, the things that a girl does that another girl would notice and know her motive but guys would be absolutely clueless about?

It started with what she did the last two weeks; constantly needing Jake to take her somewhere or do something for her which coincidentally (not, the bitch knew what she was doing) aligned with your work schedule so you couldn't ever join them. But then it got weird for both you and Jake.

One night before bed Minji asked you if she could make breakfast for the three of you the next morning and you happily agreed, happy you could sleep in the next morning. So you did, waking up with Jake wrapped around you as usual. You quickly got dressed in his t-shirt and some shorts and headed down to see if Minji needed help but were shocked when you walked into the kitchen.

There she was cooking in a cropped tank top and really revealing sleep shorts. You poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue, slightly annoyed that she was walking around your place like this but like the mature person you are, let it go and helped her by setting the table.

Jake was calling for you as he woke up and you yelled out saying you're in the kitchen. He walked in and halted as his eyes landed on Minji. "Baby I thought we were gonna sleep in– oh, uh, h-hey Minji."

You glared hard at Jake, hating how he blushed as he immediately looked to the floor.

His eyes quickly landed on you and his eyes widened, realizing how that looked to you. "No wait babe I–"

"Grab the orange juice from the fridge please. Minji's done cooking."

He reached out to you but you moved out of his way and took the dishes that were done to the dining table. Jake felt dejected but he followed your orders and sat down after getting the juice and glasses.

You started conversing more with Minji during the breakfast, basically ignoring Jake who had a permanent pout on his face. You were being petty, yes, but you needed to get a little revenge.

But Minji wasn't making it easy for you.

"How's the food Jake?" she asked. "What do you like the most?"

"Huh? O-oh uh, yeah it's good. The banana bread is really good."

She squealed and clapped. "I knew it! Do you not remember? This is the banana bread I used to make for you when we were dating!"

Both you and Jake paused. He was clearly flustered and looked to you for a reaction but you were looking at your food and enjoying it. "Uh I-I don't remember sorry."

"Really Jake? I made it for you all the time! When you first told me you loved me, when we celebrated our one year, when we first slept togeth–"

Jake started violently coughing and you just pushed the water jug towards him, not bothering to pour him some. He looked at you shocked as he continued hacking. Immediately Minji got up and gave him water, rubbing his back while subtly pushing her breasts in his face. He noticed and backed up but she continued getting closer.

Having had enough, you stood up with force from your chair and gave them a petty smile. "I'm done. Thanks for the food Minji it was great! I'm gonna go now, I have plans."

"Wait where are you going?" Jake asked. "I thought we could hang out today since you're off."

"I have plans with Jay."

"Wait what wait why?? Alone? You don't hang out with Jay alone??"

You shrugged as you grabbed your plate and glass to go wash. "Well there's a first for everything."

Jake shook his head. "We'll come with you guys. Jay will get along with Minji I'm sure."

She tugged at his hoodie sleeve, fucking bitch. "Jakey! We have plans to go to Lotte today remember?"

You scoffed at the nickname. "You two go to Lotte. I wanna hang out with Jay alone anyways."

You missed the dejected look on Jake's face. "O-okay.. Take my card."

"It's good Jay actually offered to take me out for the day, but I have my card just incase."

Now that you knew would irk Jake to the max. Jake NEVER let you spend your own money let alone let another man spend money on you so he always always gave you his card. You denying to take his card definitely sparked some anger in him.

You quickly left after that, not wanting to stay there with them any longer. This was the first time you left the two alone in your apartment but you had utmost trust in Jake so you knew nothing would happen.

That night you came home later than expected; not too late but 9pm. Honestly you have no idea how the day passed. You were closest with Jay in ENHYPEN after Jake so anytime you two talked it was for hours and hours.

As you walked into the house it was quiet. You thought maybe they weren't back yet but then you heard muffled voices in the basement.

After putting your things away you walked down to see Jake sitting on the couch with his head in his hands and Minji sitting next to him rubbing his back. You stayed behind the door, wanting to hear the conversation.

"I just don't.. get it.." Jake said sadly. "Anytime we go out without each other.. we always text and call the other letting them know we're okay."

Ah fuck, you thought. By any means you didn't mean to not text or call Jake, knowing fully well this is a rule between you two. You completely forgot to charge your phone last night, and by the time you had met up with Jay your phone was dead.

Minji hummed. "Maybe she's just having a lot of fun? I'm sure it's nothing."

"But still.. h-how can she not answer my calls? I know, I know I haven't been the best boyfriend recently but.."

"Jakey.. what if she just doesn't love you anymore?"

No. There was no way she just put that into Jake's head.

He snapped his head towards her. "What are you saying Minji.. I–I'm not in the mood for jokes right now."

"I'm not joking! You know I've been noticing she's been kinda distant from you recently. I thought you two fought but if you're also confused then it might just be her."

"Minji, you don't know anything about Y/N and I. We have a love that's hard to find anywhere else.. respectfully you don't know what you're talking about."

"But I do! Girls notice these things. Trust me, something's off."

"Thanks Minji, but I'm done with this conversation." He tried standing up but she pulled him back down even closer to her.

"Jake why can't you see clearly?! Why can't you take a hint?! I've been here for over a month just because of you! I came back to Korea for you! I never got over you, how could you easily forget me! I still love you, and if she can't give you that, be with me!"

Jake snatched his hand away from her and stood up. "Minji you're crossing the limit. You came here to win me back knowing I'm proposing to Y/N soon? That's really low. She loves me and I love her. Don't get involved." He turned to walk away and saw you standing by the doorframe and his eyes widened. "Y-Y/N.."

You gave him a sad smile. "I was coming in to ask if you guys had fun.. seems like you did."

Jake shook his head as he walked towards you. "How much did you hear?

"Everything I needed to. I didn't talk to Jay today about how distant we've been, didn't think you'd run to your friend about it either."

"Baby I–"

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight Minji."

Being tired from today's emotional events you passed out as soon as you got to bed, not giving Jake a reason to apologize. He knew it was wrong of him to go to his ex about his relationship problems, knowing you were already insecure about her being here. He decided tomorrow would be the day you guys finally talked about it.

Tomorrow came and Jake had dropped Minji off at her grandma's for the day. On the way home he picked up breakfast for you two and a bouquet of your favorite flowers. When he got inside he called you down to eat and as you two started eating the tension was thick.

Jake offered to clean up after the silent breakfast and you hummed, letting him do it on his own. You headed back to your shared room and started putting away clean laundry. Soon Jake came up and sat on the bed as you walked around. "Hey baby.. we should talk."

"I'm listening, go ahead."

Jake sighed. "Baby please," he pleaded. "Just come sit with me for a sec."

Reluctantly you went and sat a good couple inches away from Jake much to his dismay. "Okay, now go ahead."

He sighed before starting to apologize. "Look I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have gone to her with our private problems. I should've kept it to myself and talked about it when you came home."

You shook your head. "That's not even the biggest thing Jake. The past month and a half you've been spending the most time with Minji. Tell me, when was the last time you and I went to bed at the same time?"

Jake was quiet as he thought back to the last time and he couldn't remember. "I.. I don't.. remember."

"Exactly. I've barely seen my own boyfriend since Minji got here. And I wish I wasn't jealous but I am. And honestly Jake.. after the conversation you had with her yesterday.. I don't know where we stand."

Jake widened his eyes. "Wait, babe hold up. Don't say that, what are you talking about? We're fine, we're good. We talked it out. I'm gonna make my friendship with Minji very clear and we'll get over this."

"Jake it's not as simple as that. I've felt so distant from my boyfriend for the past 6 weeks! The guy who has to constantly be around me all of a sudden wasn't because his first love came back!"

Jake looked hurt. "I don't love her anymore... y-you don't think I do, right? Right Y/N? Say something please."

You ran a hand through your hair. "Jake, listen to me." You looked him right in the eyes hoping your message would be clear. "I love you. I know you love me too. I want to be with you forever, but right now we need to take a step back."

"W-what do you.."

"Jake, I want to take a break."

Jake's eyes widened and he grabbed your hands tightly. "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"Just for a little bit, we need to be separate. So we can gather our feelings–"

"I know my feelings!" he wailed. Jake had tears in his eyes as he tried to not let them fall. "I love you and only you! We don't need a break, I can't be without you."

You patted his hands. "Just for a little bit.. I'll stay with a friend for about two weeks and we'll come back and try to fix this."

Jake shook his head. "W-we can fix this now. We're talking about it, we'll fix this now." Jake let the tears fall and he engulfed you in a hug. "Please Y/N, please.. d-don't go.. d-don't leave.."

You let him sob as you silently cried, holding him tight as a way to calm him down. "Okay.. okay.. calm down... we won't take a break okay? Hmm? We won't."

He let go of the hug and looked at you with wide glossy eyes and a pout. "P-promise me.. when I come back from picking Minji up, promise me I won't see your things gone."

You shook your head. "No no, I'll come with you to pick her up. And we'll go out and enjoy a nice dinner with her.. and when she leaves tomorrow, you and I will sit and talk every single thing through okay?"

Jake nodded and sniffled. "I'm so sorry. I really should've taken your feelings into consideration.. I guess I just felt a sense of responsibility to do things for her since I'm the only person who can do anything for her here since I've got the car and stuff.. not a good excuse I know. But still, it's the truth. And I'm really fucking sorry."

You accepted his apology with a kiss on his lips. "It's okay Jake.. I forgive you. I love you so much."

"I love you too wifey."

– – – –

honestly this isn't good but i'm posting it anyways :')

[inor-8]

Regarding Lily's top 20 Pokemon video (Part 2):

Ok so most of my individual posts from the video are from this section. So, I'm gonna try my best to articulate my thoughts as well as I can.

Again, as much as we disagree with her, all her favourites are valid as everyone deserves an opinion. Even Lily Orchard.

So without further ado....

Number 10: Froslass

Ok so we start her top 10 and how does she begin this section? By complaining about gender specific evolutions, especially, Gallade.

I don't know how but Lily seems to have conjured up this crowd of "90's Pokemon fans" that hate Gardevoir because it's strong and feminine. And also that GameFreak has made Gallade specifically to appease this crowd.

And to that I say: Huh???? Lillian Orchard are you delusional??? As far as I've seen there's no one complaining about Gardevoir's feminity ever! In fact the whole community seems to love it. And you think Gardevoir being male is gonna deter fans? Lily??? Do you know how popular femboys are??? Male Gardevoirs are a treat for them if anything.

And I find it bizarre that she she seems male Gardevoirs can somehow not exist anymore? You do know that getting a Gallade needs a rare evolution stone right?

But moving on from that, let's get to Froslass. Now, as Lily hates gender specific evos, she also initially disliked her. But what made her warm up to the Pokemon is very disturbing to me. She seems to like it because it eats the souls of men. Now, don't get me wrong. She does mention her love for snow and ghosts but still... Hearing her say "It eats men!!!" with such glee is disgusting to me. I always suspected she was like those puritan twitter rad fems but this has just made my suspicions stronger. You really hate men, don't you? You little misandrist!

And what makes me sas is I love Froslass' design and the lore behind it. It's based on a yokai (a supernatural spirit in Japanese folklore) called Yuuki-Onna (snow woman). If you've grown up with Japanese cartoons like Doraemon, Shin-Chan or Ninja Hatori like I did, you'd have seen glimpses of this yokai in the episodes featuring snowstorms.

Yuuki-Onna is the spirit of a woman who died in a snowstorm and now hunts for travels who get lost in the snow. I absolutely love it. I even used it in Platinum and it one-shot Cynthia's Garchomp. It's so sad to see it reduced to "violent man eater".

Anyways moving on...

Number 9: Pidgeot

Now, there's really nothing to say here. She just explains why she likes it and honestly it's a solid mon.

Number 8: Magmortar

Same as Pidgeot, nothing really to day here.

So instead I'll leave you with a fun fact: Magmortar's Japanese name is Booburn.

Number 7: Sceptile

Now, this is where Lily's "I'm not like other girls" attitude shows up again and this time her victim are the other evolved starters of Ash.

I don't know what you've heard Lily but Sceptile is veeery popular and an awesome one of Ash's Pokemon. But you somehow take it not being the second coming of Pikachu as a crime.

She calls Charizard "Mr. Overrated". Cope and seethe, Lily. This is Charizard nation.

And Infernape as an "angry monkey man". Well, Lily as for why Infernape is so popular is because he had a whole arc about him. His initial trainer, Paul abandoning him for being weak, to Ash rescuing and training him, to him defeating Paul and proving his strength. That's why people love Infernape.

As for Greninja, I don't know man I didn't watch that far into the anime. Ask @voidshogun the number one Greninja fanatic.

Number 6: Agron

Now again, nothing out of the ordinary. Except the fact that Lily has only changed her rooster 5 times in 7 generations. Yeah we could tell, Lilian.

Number 5: Lilligant

Now, as is expected of her, Lily shits on gen 5's story. Wow You're so different and cool Lily!

Then, she says that Petlil needed to have an introductory scene like ralts because the whole area was filled with Sewaddle (how dare you belittle sewaddle in your video Lily?!?) And then she complained about a dex entry.

Now here comes another "I'm not like other girls" moment. She mentions how she doesn't use competitively viable Pokemon because she values design and trains her Pokemon like a real trainer should. Wow, Lily? People playing with their favourites? Who would have thought?!? God you're soooo cool!

Number 4: Milotic

Another garbage take of "GameFreak took gen one's shitty edgy adolescent designs and made them better in gen three!" No they didn't Lily, you're hallucinating.

This is where the whole "gyarados is a result of 90's gritty toxic masculinity" take is from. No it isn't, Lily. You purposefully ignore the lore behind these designs and undermine them. God i hate this woman. I've already said what I wanted to about the Gyarados comparison in a previous post, so I'll leave it there.

And then she says she's one of those weirdos that enjoys Pokemon contests. Oh wow! You're so #quirky🤪 for enjoying a feature that is in the game for you to enjoy. Real special thing you've got going on there, Lily.

Number 3: Mismagius

She complains about gen 2. Lily, ma'am you would have gotten to play with Misdreavous in Crystal, if you played fucking Kanto!!!

And then she says what a stubborn little bitch she was for playing competitive with her favourites instead of researching builds....

I'm not even gonna say it this time. How many "I'm not like other girls" moment have we had so far?

Number 2: Butterfree

More of "Oh! She's weak but I love her! Aren't I do different and cool!?"

She actually mentions Madhouse in this segment, so archive this video in case she decides to lie about it and deny she made that too. Not like having proof would make her admit she made it.

Now, to no one's surprise....

Number 1: Gardevoir

Oh I don't have much to say about this one.

Just look at some of my observations from this segment:

(i) Lily can't shut the fuck up about how powerful and mighty and strong Gardevoir is.

(ii) Lily depicts Gardevoir as a monstrous banshee because she's an edgelord and thinks it's cool instead of using it's canon depiction of a loyal protector as pointed out by @manilovescp166 in my asks.

(iii) Lily is so obsessed with Gardevoir that she bases her purchase of a Pokemon game on how easily and early she can get a ralts in said game.

(iv) Lily thinks Gardevoirs as a species have the deepest bonds with their trainers and are the best companions. (Okay, I guess?)

(v) Lily genuinely believes that "She (Gardevoir) is lowkey implied to be the single most powerful Pokemon in existence. Given that they have the ability to create black holes if they're desparate enough." (Sure buddy)

(vi) Lily believes that there's this insecure crowd of Gardevoir haters that hate it because it's feminine. (She made them up in her head)

(vii) Lily thinks it's shiny is bad, also she hates all shinies so there's one consistent thing I guess?

*Sigh* this is genuinely disturbing.... Just how fucking obsessed are you with Gardevoir, Lily?! I don't even have words. Honestly I think the observations are enough to tell you how deranged this woman is when it comes to Gardevoir.

[doodlejoltik]

grass knot

[~4.5k words, read it here or on Ao3. tagged with Volo and Lance since they appear as prominent characters; Rei-centric]

Why is it that even the thought of confiding in Akari, his closest friend, makes something constrict in his chest, choking out the words?

Rei, caught in the stirrings of a new arc, tries to rise to its call, but trips over the past at every turn.

A full rewrite of that Mysterious Stones chapter where Volo first shows up, from Rei’s POV, plus a bit more. Written mostly before the Arceus Arc began.

(Setting expectations: a lot of this fic is just Rei Thinking About Stuff haha. Love getting into his head! His characterisation is a little bit different/more nuanced compared to the other Rei oneshot I wrote; hopefully you'll still be along for the ride if you've read that one!)

-

“Show me thy bond.” It echoes inside Rei’s skull, down to the very bone, the same as in his earliest memories. He nearly buckles under its weight, but it's a welcome feeling.

After so long without direction, this is a relief. Arceus has finally spoken.

The words fit perfectly with the half-remembered fragments Rei had received some weeks ago in the middle of the night. Why hadn't they been intelligible then? What makes now different? The sync stones ultimate are one factor, of course. Maybe Arceus draws power from them, which is strange to say of a deity, but from what he knows of the Plates, it might not be so far-fetched.

Prince Lear disperses the murmuring crowd; so, the audience all heard it too, not just those on the arena floor. Professor Bellis congratulates Bettie. Cynthia, Lance and Steven whisper among themselves. And his mind still whirls with new theories as they gather together.

What does Arceus want? 

‘Seek out all Pokemon’ had meant completing the Pokedex. At least, that’s what he’d assumed. Now, this time, Arceus likely means for them to showcase bonds with their Pokemon, given the context. But what does that actually entail?

Cynthia’s words cut above everyone else's. “Rei. Was that voice…?”

All eyes are on him. He breathes deeply, steeling himself, as the familiar weight of it settles in. Things are moving, now. 

“Yes. I'm certain. That was —”

“Indeed! That was a message from Arceus!”

His words catch in his throat. Off-balance, suddenly, as all his thoughts fall away, replaced by a swooping feeling he can't quite identify —

He whirls around.

Volo is here.

He takes a few steps back, an involuntary half-stumble, before remembering himself. 

Those flashes of movement he's been seeing, the feeling of being watched, a Togepi, unattended: they’re all now terrifyingly validated. He'd half thought them a product of his overactive mind.

“Excuse-moi, pardon me… but who are you?” Professor Bellis ventures. 

“I'm Volo — a humble merchant who loves history and mythology!” With that, he flashes a winning smile. Rei could laugh at the sheer audacity of it all, but his thoughts are still strewn across the dusty ground, scattered, and they slip from his grasp as he tries to gather them up. Whatever sense of gravity he’d felt upon hearing Arceus’ voice has completely lifted.

“But more importantly!” Volo continues. “When the arena shone brightly, I also heard that voice.” He brings his hand up to point at the air with enthusiastic emphasis, a gesture still so terribly familiar. Rei clenches his fists, feeling the nails dig into his skin. Not really out of anger. More as a reminder.

The last time he’d seen Volo had been. Well. Memorable. But that isn’t the image that smiles back at him now, tripping him up. He's in Gingko uniform again, complete with ridiculous oversized backpack, which Rei had thought discarded, up there on the peak. Apparently not. Had Volo returned later, still seething, to collect his things? The concept is strangely hilarious.

“I wonder… these sync stones ultimate… might they be some sort of test from Arceus? If we could show him that ‘bond’ he desires —”

“Sorry, test? Arceus?” Cynthia interrupts with a frown, holding a hand out. “What makes you say that?”

“Why, it's quite simple. Arceus' presence was summoned by these stones, in this exhibition, and he requests us to further show our bond. What else could he desire?” Volo says, gesturing widely. 

Rei finally pulls himself upright — scrapes his thoughts together into something resembling coherence. The initial shock has drained away, settling into a distant sort of apprehension. He watches silently. Volo’s not really saying anything too unreasonable, but where is this leading? 

There’s so much he doesn’t know. What has Volo been doing, all this time? How long has he been on Pasio? What does he hope to gain, approaching them like this?

He’ll let Volo continue, then. It's an opportunity for some of those questions to be answered.

(And it gives Rei time to think of what to say.)

“Well, put that way, that does make sense,” Steven nods along. “Should we organise for more trainers to try the stones, then?” 

“Oui, I would love to gather more data!” Professor Bellis answers. “However, the stones are still quite volatile. There is progress on this, yes, but for now, I would like to limit their use, capisci?” 

At this, Bettie speaks up. “Yeah, it was weird.” She runs a hand through her Pikachu’s fur, the mouse curled up lazily in her arms. Nobody in Hisui was quite that affectionate with their Pokemon. Certainly not Akari, though she'd grown closer with her own Pikachu over time. As for himself, Decidueye had been standoffish, averse to being carried even as a baby Rowlet. Well, actually — as his distracted mind digs deeper into memory, he recalls — there had been Volo and his Togepi. 

He casts that errant thought away, buries it deep once again. Bettie is still speaking.

“And it was like nothing was there, at first, and Pikachu and I had to concentrate really hard. And then — whoosh! Wow! Overwhelming,” she shifts Pikachu’s weight to one arm to gesture with emphasis, “and all at once.”

“And this is when Arceus spoke,” Lance asks. 

Bettie nods, now subdued. “It was a rush! I think you guys could handle it, but I dunno if everyone could.”

“If I may,” and all attention returns to Volo. “It seems the stones can currently be used by trainers with particularly powerful convictions, and bonds with their Pokemon,” he gestures with a smile to Bettie. She blushes. 

At the casual flattery, Rei can't help the small frown that twists onto his face. It seems innocent enough, but compliments and niceties can so easily mask true intent. 

Especially with Volo.

Volo continues. “Perhaps we might solve this by way of a tournament, of sorts. Allowing Arceus to witness our talent and dedication, with the victor bestowed the honour of using the stones! Of course, the winner of such a competition would have the fortitude necessary to handle such power.”

Well, taking that to its logical end… Volo wants to win, and be granted this ‘honour’ he so conveniently proposed. But why go to all this trouble? The stones appear out in the streets quite often — apparently, found even by preschoolers. Volo should have no trouble obtaining them.

Does he know something they don't?

“Bettie here led the first winning PML team, did she not?” At this, the girl in question smiles Mareepishly. “And that is why she was the one to demonstrate the stones, I presume,” Volo inclines his head towards the Champions.

Informed guess, or something more? He thinks back on half-seen, furtive movements, and wonders. 

“That's right,” Steven confirms. “Bettie is a shining example to us: a leader of the next generation. We decided there was no better choice.” 

“So you suggest we hold another tournament,” Lance says thoughtfully. “Well, there is precedent. Prince Lear,” he turns to the Prince, whom Rei had honestly half forgotten was there. “What do you think?”

Before Lear can reply, Volo reinserts himself into the conversation. “It would be a grand tournament, truly fitting of Pasio's reputation. Why, perhaps, the deity Arceus might even be compelled to descend —”

Ah. So that’s what he intends. “Aren't you getting ahead of yourself there?” Rei interrupts. He means to sound stern, but it comes out sounding more incredulous. Not at the idea itself, but at how brazenly it’s admitted.

“Perhaps,” Volo says with a careless shrug. He doesn’t acknowledge Rei any differently than the others, still maintaining their inadvertently shared ruse. “It's only speculation, of course, but it is exciting to think about!”

“Hmph! I believe I was the one being addressed,” Prince Lear declares, arms crossed. His red shades flash dangerously, eyes hidden under their glint. Directed at him, it's almost like the full glare of an Alpha Pokemon.

Rei’s face flushes with heat to the tips of his ears. Great time he picked to enter the discussion. He quietly ducks his head down; the Prince is in charge, here, after all. He'd rather not test his patience. 

Meanwhile, Volo just smiles, seemingly unfazed. 

There's a part of him that really wants to know how Volo does that. It's just — he's so confident. How can he be so sure that everything will work out in his favour?

“A grand tournament,” Prince Lear ponders, tapping his foot. “And what could be grander than the second Pokemon Masters League?”

“Indeed!” Volo beams. “I'm sure the audience would love to see the clash between a king and a deity, would they not?”

Lear's tapping stills. His guarded stance loosens; he's taken aback. Volo emphasised king, and oh, Lear's official title is Prince. Hm.

There's something more deliberate about it beyond just casual flattery. 

Lear uncrosses his arms and seems at a loss, for a moment, on where to put them before straightening up with his hands on hips. “Is that so?” He laughs. “I like the sound of that!” A pause, unnecessarily dramatic. Nobody breaks the silence, not even Volo. 

The Prince looks around with some satisfaction and continues. “Very well, then. The winning team of the second PML will be granted the honour of using the sync stones ultimate.” He grins, sharply, red shades flashing once again. “Which will include me, of course. Hahahahaha!”

“You have a real gift for making quick decisions!” Volo says cheerfully. The tension breaks. Chuckles arise from the rest of the group, and Rei can only stare in disbelief. That — that has to be mockery, right? But everyone else seems to take it as light teasing, even the quick-tempered Prince himself. 

Against his better judgement, his gaze catches Volo’s. 

He doesn't know what he expects to see: amusement? Satisfaction? Triumph? And there's some of that, but it's a wry, knowing sort of look, like a joke shared only between the two of them. 

Already the others are starting to animatedly discuss between themselves. Bettie makes a teasing comment to Lear, who scoffs. Professor Bellis says something about checking in on the sync stone technology. Cynthia, Lance and Steven form their own little group again, speaking in low tones, and he can't quite follow their discussion. 

It seems like he's the only one who notices Volo quietly slipping away, and he's got half a mind to do the same. 

Would it be incredibly ill-advised to follow him? Probably. But he still has questions. And it’s possible that Volo will let his guard down when they're alone. 

(Even to him, that seems incredibly optimistic. But there’s things between them that he himself would rather only unearth in private. Maybe Volo feels the same way. And even if not, perhaps he'll gloat, or tease playfully, and let on something of use hidden in the thorned barbs.)

It's not like he has much left to contribute here. Tournaments and competitions and organised displays are foreign to him. The Neo Champion Stadium had felt so different from the kind of battles he’s used to… which, in part, could be why he lost. 

He needs to train. If everything rests on the result of this tournament, he has to be ready. 

The group seems to be naturally dispersing, at least — Professor Bellis just excused herself — so he won't be missed. With some quick words, he, too, turns to leave. They can handle this part, and Rei will do his. 

Prince Lear had mentioned a winning team, and Pasio battles are generally three on three, from what he's seen. Who could he ask? There's Akari, of course. And the clan leaders, but it would feel strange to team up with only one and not the other. A little bit too reminiscent of another time. 

His steps carry him nearly to the edge of the arena.

Besides, he's getting ahead of himself. He still has to… well, he should explain everything to them. About Volo.

Even all these months later, it still aches. He had buried it all, hoping to let it rot away, to be free of that thorny mass of contradictory feelings that arose every time he dwelled on it. 

But the longer he waits, the more impossible it seems to explain — to explain not only the events of that fateful day, but also his own, confusing silence on the matter. Though he’s tried to plough the field, turn it all over and start anew, it still lies just beyond the surface, and a single misstep is all it takes to snarl him all over again. Why is it that even the thought of confiding in Akari, his closest friend, makes something constrict in his chest, choking out the words?

(Akari is unquestionably the one person he's closest to. But there was a time when that singular title wasn't so clear cut.)

There’s a sort of tunnel that leads out of the stadium, a long darkened archway that passes under the audience stands. He's about halfway through when he hears footsteps from behind, swift and purposeful strides. 

His breath catches, for a moment. But Volo left first, and the arena had been flat and wide, with no corners to lurk in. Besides, it's too loud. Clearly telegraphed.

Cynthia, maybe? 

He turns. The face that greets Rei is slightly less familiar. “Lance,” he acknowledges the Champion. 

“Rei,” Lance greets in turn, stopping a few paces away. Arms crossed, silhouetted against the light of the arena and framed by the tunnel’s dark, arching walls, his tall figure is — intimidating. 

He can’t help but wonder whether that's deliberate. 

“You left before I could ask,” Lance says, and there's a pause. “As someone who has prior experience with Arceus, what do you think of all this?”

A fair enough question. But the way it's said… sounds a little too carefully worded. Casual, but purposefully so.

What sort of answer does Lance expect? 

“It sounds reasonable enough,” he decides to say. As much as he hates to lend credence to Volo’s proposal, he can't think of anything better. It somehow seems to suit their needs perfectly, which he's sure is no accident. “Back in Hisui, I was told to seek out all Pokemon, so I helped with the Pokedex. In the same way, I guess this could help fulfil Arceus' new request.”

Lance nods along, but his brows furrow. “You sounded more sceptical, earlier,” he points out. 

Ah. Not really his intent, but… “That was about the more…” he casts about for the right word, “speculative part of it. I don't know if it would really call Arceus down, or anything like that.” Though honestly, he doesn't know that it won't.

“What do you think will happen, then?” Lance asks, with clear curiosity, and, well. He doesn't really have a good answer to that. 

“... I don't know,” he admits. “I never actually completed the Pokedex, so I'm not sure what happens after Arceus’ request is fulfilled.” He had been close, but there had still been so many minor tasks that needed finishing, things to busy himself with, to arrange and get in order before he had to face Giratina again. 

He hadn't been ready, yet. Maybe Arceus had grown impatient, and brought him here to confront his problems directly. Maybe it cared. Maybe it didn't. 

(Seeing Giratina with Cynthia had felt a little like he was the punchline of some divine comedy.)

Lance purses his lips and looks off into the distance, out of the stadium, past Rei. He wishes he could read the man’s expressions better; as it is, the set of his brows calls to mind Kamado, and everything else tangled up with it. 

Finally, Lance’s gaze turns directly to Rei once again, and he speaks. “That Volo… you two know each other.” 

It’s not a question, but even then, the expression of unguarded surprise he can’t hold back might be answer enough.

Lance has one hand on his hip, the other, at rest, is framed by the drape of his cape. He looks down at Rei as he states plainly, “His clothes aren’t of modern make, so the logical assumption would be that he’s from Hisui. Cynthia confirmed my suspicion. And, historically, Hisuian communities were few and quite tightly knit. It’s more likely than not.” 

He tries to keep his expression carefully neutral, as logic digs deeper, dangerously close to things unexplainable. And the earth is already recently disturbed, soft, friable. He can’t offer much resistance. “I've seen him around,” he concedes.

“But why did neither of you acknowledge the other?” Lance looks confused; frustrated, even. “Even a passing acquaintance would be notable, with both of you being here in the future.”

And here — this is familiar. The accusations. The questions he can’t answer. But it’s different; it’s not that he doesn’t know the answers. He just can’t seem to put them in an order that would make sense, to anyone else.

(Does he really understand, himself?)

But eyes are on him, and he needs to explain, in whatever unsatisfactory way he can. “Volo and I… it's complicated,” he laughs weakly, tugging at his scarf. “He genuinely does love history and mythology, you know. I guess I wouldn't be that surprised if he was right about Arceus.” All those times they’d pored over ruins together, Volo excitedly babbling on about whatever legend this one related to — there had to have been the seed of something real, something genuine, in that. 

It’s not really an answer. Lance can obviously tell, because he crosses his arms. 

“Is he bad news?” he asks bluntly. 

There’s no twisting his way out of this one.

Some of the panic he’s feeling must bubble up onto his face, because Lance’s expression softens, just a bit. The man sighs. “Look, Rei, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but us Champions need to have all the relevant information. This tournament, the stones,” he gestures around them, “affect everyone here on Pasio. So I’m sorry about involving myself in your business, but it's necessary. Should we be keeping an eye on Volo?” 

It’s obvious what the correct answer is. And every second he delays responding makes him seem all the more untrustworthy. He questions, a little hysterically, why this of all things is what he stubbornly roots himself for, risking this place he’s made for himself in another unfamiliar land. 

But his jaw works, and all that slips out of his throat, past the thorny tangle, is a “Maybe.” The most ground he can concede. “Volo’s… passionate about Arceus.” Which is perhaps the biggest understatement of both this century and the last. 

There's an expectant pause. He almost leaves it at that, but it seems it's too unfinished a sentiment for Lance. “He wants to be seen by it.”

“The same way you are?” Lance says sharply. Arceus, he picked up on that fast. Rei hopes he leaves it at that. A rivalry fallen apart, twisted into bitterness and jealousy, nothing more.

Nothing world-ending. 

It’s not like he doesn’t trust Cynthia, and by extension the other Champions. It’s just… he can deal with it himself. It’s what he was probably brought here to do, anyway. The thought of someone else turning him over, and finding him lacking — fighting his battles for him — makes him uneasy. 

“Yeah, something like that,” he answers, with a painful swallow. 

Besides, he hopes he can resolve this peacefully. He’d beaten Volo before, even after he’d flipped the rules of battle on their head. And this time Volo can’t upend the script; one good thing about tournaments, he supposes, is that the rules are rigorously upheld. A different sort of battleground.

He wants to laugh at that. Suppositions and wildly optimistic thoughts are his only foundation, and yet it’s enough for him to reject all possibility of outside help.

Then again, if he can’t even bring himself to tell Akari, what chance does he have of breaking that self-imposed silence, here, on less familiar ground?

Lance hums, assessing this. He uncrosses his arms. “If that friend of yours does anything drastic, tell us, alright?” he says. It’s said warmly, but there's something serious to it. An undertone. “Our job is to help out wherever we can, so don’t hesitate to reach out.”

Rei tries for a smile. “Understood.”  

Lance nods, and looks Rei up and down, though it's only a subtle flicker of his eyes. His gaze lingers on the scarf at Rei’s neck, which Rei realises he’s been fidgeting with unconsciously. He lets go with faint embarrassment, feeling caught out. 

The other man sighs. “You can go, you know?” There’s resignation in his voice. Maybe even something apologetic. In that moment, he seems more like Kamado than ever.

Rei doesn’t want to turn his back to him, but he wants to be here even less. So he nods, stiffly, and turns himself around, continuing the dark walk through the tunnel and out the stadium at a steady pace.

He doesn’t run.  

(But his hand hovers by his satchel, where Decidueye's Pokeball rests.)

It’s only when he’s walked for a good while, out into the harsh sunlight, through the town outskirts and to a more forested spot, that the tension drains from him. He sits at the base of a large tree, feeling a little lightheaded.

That was… an interrogation, to put it bluntly. And he can’t really fault Lance for it. To anyone, he's sure, his actions are confusing at best.

Unfortunately, he’s found that he’s less than clear headed when it comes to Volo. He turns over Lance’s final words. That friend of yours. It’s not surprising Lance phrased it that way; everything Rei had said had been carefully woven to lead him to that conclusion.

Except it hadn’t been misdirection, not fully. He does still think of Volo as his friend, despite everything.

He slumps backwards, against the trunk of the tree, feeling the rough bark dig against the base of his skull. 

What is he supposed to do with that?

Apparently, one of the worst days of his life isn’t enough to uproot over a year of growing camaraderie and budding friendship. Too many memories knot together, a stubborn tangle impossible to pick apart. He’s tried not to think about them too hard, but they tighten their hold once again, from where they lay dormant and buried.

Many of them have been forcibly recontextualised. He’s second guessed every helpful gift, every directly admiring word, every coincidental and fortunate appearance, as something deliberate and cultivated. But some of it, it seems, doesn't fit so neatly with that singular goal.

One day, they’d watched Togepi use Metronome for an hour, ostensibly for Rei’s surveying purposes. Important documentation of a seemingly random phenomenon, and all that. In actuality, they laughed the entire time, with no useful or coherent records to speak of, as the results became all the more improbable. 

They’d camped together, those last months, as the search for the Plates got wilder and more exciting. He knows Volo’s favoured way to build a camp-fire, and how he wakes up unreasonably early in the morning, and that he prefers sweet foods over savoury, unlike Rei himself. A hundred mundane familiarities shared, taking root in fallow ground.

Once, Volo had been his only friend in the entire world.

Is it surprising, then, that he can’t lay this friendship to rest so easily?

He wonders what it means, that the hand offered to him at his lowest point was the same one that always meant to drag him back down. And what it means that he still wants to reach for it.

Had any real feelings been sowed there, on Volo’s part? Or was the entire thing a carefully constructed weaving, an intricate field of grass knots laid around Rei, ready to catch him in their snare? 

He can’t quite strangle the hope that something of their friendship still exists, even if neglected and overgrown. And that’s the part that scares him.

He has Akari, and Adaman, and Irida. He has Professor Laventon and the Captain, though they’re far away. Then there’s the Wardens, more friendly faces: Mai, Sabi, Ingo, and all the others; there's Zisu and Pesselle and Beauregard and everyone else in Jubilife. New friends here on Pasio, too. 

He pulls out Decidueye’s Pokeball from his satchel, and rolls it around in his right hand. He has his beloved Starter.

He has friends. He has bonds.

Why can’t that be enough?

The Pokeball he’s holding isn't the original. He'd had to break that well-loved possession in two, and recapture Decidueye in this modern device. It's a distant echo of its predecessor, wooden grooves and clunky iron replaced by smooth metal and near imperceptible seams. The weight of it is all wrong. 

But despite that, it's still his partner, and that's what matters.

(The two broken halves sit in his satchel, too, carried on his person at all times. It's yet another thing he can't bring himself to let go of.)

He sighs, tracing formless shapes in the dirt. His hand finds one of the sparse clumps of grass that grow here, directly under this wide and mighty tree. Deprived of proper sun, it’s a miracle that there’s any at all. 

It seems more and more likely that he’ll end up looking for Volo on his own. To get answers: not only about the stones, and the tournament, and Volo’s intentions with Arceus, but also for his own ends. 

Maybe there’s still something there. A single glimpse of life in this scorched earth between them.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do then.

Where he sits, what little grass there is has grown long and ragged, as their leaves stretch and reach for the sun. He sets Decidueye’s ball down and plucks two long blades. With a few simple loops and twists, they’re deftly woven together into a knot. He considers it, looping it around his fingers; tightens it, pulling on both ends, until he can feel the entire construct threaten to snap from the force. He stops. 

The thing is, no matter if it was never meant to be real, deliberately sowed, intended ultimately for harvest — it’s all the same, to Rei. He wants to keep it alive. He’s hopeful. Naive. Selfish.

For a single, impossible moment, he wonders whether this is what Arceus meant by bonds all along. 

The knot goes in his satchel, where it will turn dry and brittle with time. But kept safe, unbroken, regardless. Maybe his future self will laugh at his sentimentality. Maybe, he won't remember why it’s there. 

Wouldn't that be for the best?

He tucks Decidueye’s ball away, with care, then hauls himself up, both hands braced against the dusty ground. There’s dirt under his fingernails. From under the tree’s darkened canopy, he squints into the afternoon sunlight.

There’s a lot that needs to be done. He needs to train for this tournament, for one. Learn more about modern battling. Pull together a team. With that, ask Akari, and perhaps Adaman or Irida. Confront Volo, somewhere in all of this. 

After that? Only Arceus knows.

One step at a time. 

He finds his footing, around gnarled roots. The grass crunches underfoot. And he steps into the light.

(So maybe I was just snared by the grass knots you laid in my path. But if I wove my own, would you fall for it too?)

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Bitches be fighting (it’s the head children 😘☺️)

[eternal-love]

Austin and Me

“Taste”

“Wife to the ‘king’. Icon to the world. Destined for more.”

Summary: At 18 years old, she fell in love with Austin, at 20 years old, she became his wife, by 22, she was his doll. In which Cynthia’s life changed drastically after falling head over heels with a man that promised her the moon and the stars. She takes us down the memory lane of what could’ve been— the perfect marriage.

Inspired by the book: Elvis and Me by Priscilla Presley.

I do not condemn any of the portrayals I decide to do about certain people, it’s just fanfiction. And it would be divided in parts

English isn’t my first language so I’m trying my best!

MASTERLIST

I was pregnant. Goddamn it. Look, I was married and I knew this would happen, just not so fast. I know that Lori was four years old but it was still pretty fast for me.

However I grew to accept it, now I was less lonely during my pregnancy. I had Lori, I wasn’t mopping the floor like I did when I was pregnant with her. I hoped it would be a girl, I wanted to be able to reuse all the cute clothes Lori used. But if it was a boy, I wouldn’t mind him looking like Austin. I’ve seen pictures of Austin when he was a kid, a baby if you will— he was the cutest baby you could ever see.

But it pained me, I wanted to be able to resume my career but I guess I had to wait. I spent days reading scripts that came in.

I wanted more challenging roles. My dream role was to play into a medieval drama. Play a Queen or a Princess. That would totally be fun, it was something I desired to do for a long time. I have played mostly in horror movies. I was a scream queen. But I wanted something more.

“Mommy! Mommy!” Lori called me, bringing me out my thoughts.

“Yes?” I responded, pinching myself as I felt like daydreaming.

“Horsie!” Lori said excitedly as she held her little gloves.

“Sweetheart. I’m pregnant you know I cannot—“

“But I want to! Please?” Lori gave me her cute puppy eyes and I could not resist her.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

I hadn’t spoken about this before. Remember our house? Strawberry Fields, well. It was in Rodeo Drive, fair enough— the land was immense. We had a stable with our horses.

My horse was named Dolly and Lori’s was Cookie. It was a small horse, and it was Dolly’s child. Our bond went beyond that of mother and daughter. Even our horses were mother and daughter. Austin liked horses too, that’s why he had his own— Whiskey.

I loved riding horses. Most of my life I grew up on a ranch with my grandparents. I knew how to treat cattle and how to treat horses. But I loved horses too much. Unlike having our dog, I felt like the bond with my horses was much more stronger.

I knew I shouldn’t be on horseback but Lori wanted to. So I took Cookie from her box stall and placed Lori on top of the horse. Getting her firm on the saddle.

I walked around with them, gently holding onto Cookie. Lori reminded me so much of me when I was little. That innocence one had when you were oblivious to the world surrounding you. I remember being her age, not knowing the economic situation my parents were going through, or their marriage problems. I began to wonder, if it’s really worth it growing up. If it’s really just the physical changes or if also your whole soul changed.

Because I knew that if my younger self looked at me now, she’d think I was the coolest woman she’d ever seen. And just because— she didn’t have a sense of what suffering was.

Callum was in town, the man really thought Austin was oblivious to his once affair with Cynthia. Dumbass. He should’ve known. He accepted Austin’s offer to go to a bar.

Callum arrived with good face, smiling at Austin. They ordered their drinks. It was a cozy closed bar. Austin smiled at Callum as they both took sips of their drinks before he spoke.

“Listen, man. I know you’re sleeping with my wife.”

Callum almost spat out his entire swig, Jesus Christ above him would punish him once he time came.

“What? Mate, that’s a reach.” Callum laughed, sipping his drink awkwardly.

“You can’t fool me. You know? I was stupid back then before noticing it.” Austin could kill with the look he was giving Callum, really. “Did you enjoy screwing with what was mine? With— what gave me my beautiful daughter? I bet you loved the feeling of burying your pathetic dick onto her.”

“Listen. Okay. I did it, and as a matter of fact— I enjoyed every second of it. Sorry.” Callum said, putting his glass down, his finger gently tracing the edge of the cup.

They were both drinking the same goddamn drink.

“You know, she used to make me this drink every time we had sex. Uh— the sex was good.” Callum smirked. It took everything in Austin to not punch him, because they were in public.

“Watch it.”

“Why? It was good, you know if. You knocked her up once. You must absolutely know how tight she is.” It was like Callum enjoyed taking about it.

“I was here first. I took her first. You don’t get to come here and steal my wife just because you thought you could be fucking Robin Hood and help her out.”

“I couldn’t leave a wife out there feeling neglected. This is your fault, mate. You should’ve been there for her. I’m sorry she chose me as her company.” Callum smirked.

“She won’t choose you, you know? She’s too tied to me now that she won’t be able to even think about it. She’s pregnant again.”

Callum’s smirk faltered a bit but he kept his composure. Leaning in.

“Every time you kiss her, you will taste me too. You know? She gave me head many times. And every time you go down on her, you’ll taste me too. You can have her— I ain’t complaining about sharing.”

Austin clenched his fists before he slowly spoke, leaning in, whispering.

“You son of a bitch.” Austin slammed his fist on the table, catching the attention to himself but he was able to get it off him. “You son of a bitch.” Austin repeated before getting up.

“We can be a little threesome one day.” Callum said with a smirk.

Austin came back to the house an hour later, I didn’t notice him coming. Until I heard his voice.

“There you are!”

I turned around from petting Cookie. I sighed, I thought I had a little more freedom before he came back. I couldn’t bear to look at him. Shame consumed me. Sometimes I felt I was too dumb. Why was I ashamed when he never felt ashamed of doing the same to me.

“My favorite girls.” Austin said, smiling at us. Lori immediately got excited. She loved her daddy.

“She wanted to ride.” I said, patting Cookie once again.

“I want a ride too…” He said, squeezing my waist then his hand traveled to my ass.

I was surprised that he was— horny. Damnit, I should’ve known. Every time he was like that, it was because he had thought about or SEEN Callum.

Next thing you know, he made me passionate love all night. I didn’t remember him being this gentle or sweet. He told me that he did his homework and investigated about pregnancy sex I didn’t know that he was doing this because he wanted me to stop TASTING like Callum, as if he could erase what Callum had once done to me. His hands, his smell, his taste.

Afterwards, Austin cuddled up with me. Kissing my shoulder and neck softly.

“You do love me, right?” He muttered to me. “More than him.”

I stayed silent. Of course I loved him, but I was used to him rejecting my love at times.

“Do you love me?” He asked me once again, sitting up and looking at him.

“What a stupid question.” I responded and he stayed quiet.

Now he felt self-conscious of himself. Perhaps I cheated on him because Callum was fitter, taller, more charismatic, better than him

It was a cold answer.

But now he knew what it feels like.

UNI IS KILLING ME. I finished writing this at my English class.

Love y’all. 🫶❤️

I have another version of this but the character is different. But it has a MUCH MORE EXTENSIVE LORE.

[bambi-kinos]

I really enjoy your meta and look forward to more mclennon analysis. Out of curiosity, you mentioned that you think they started being physical in 1964 - is there a reason why that year specifically? Personally, I've always thought they started sleeping together in 1963, and my reasoning for that is they seem much closer in videos/photos, not to mention it was the year they "broke through", so to speak.

Would love to hear your thoughts on that!

Hmm well I guess it depends on how they, and we, define their sex life. John and Paul were sexually intimate starting since they were teenagers because John brought Paul into the group wanks. (tbh it's a miracle Paul didn't brain John with something heavy thanks to all that Winston Churchilling.) There's really no telling how it progressed from there, anything is possible with these two. Until Paul tells us the details (and I do not put it past him) then he and John could have been hooking up at literally any point in their relationship. When I think of them getting physical with each other, I'm thinking of them getting each other off with intent and purpose, and considering the style of the time this would mean penetration. Everything else can be handwaved away.

I pick 1964 because of this post: https://www.tumblr.com/got-ticket-to-ride/739464905120497664/its-the-anniversary-day-of-john-and-paul-in-paris?source=share

It's just something about it, y'know. John and Paul are in their city. They stayed up all night and well into the morning and then slept deep into the afternoon, almost evening. And then as GTTR says, "And then they emerge from their hotel room looking like a newlywed couple."

Well, there's just a certain satisfaction radiating off them isn't there?

But I do see your point: why wouldn't they be hooking up earlier? Why wouldn't it escalate physically before this? Why would they wait until Paris 1964?

I have a few reasons, they are admittedly flimsy but since we are all just making shit up then it's fine, right?

Julian was born in 1963. I've read bits and pieces of Beatles 1963 by Rees and that book is full of little chunks about John running home to see Cynthia and the baby (usually not even for a full night/day because he was so busy.) Their schedule is also packed, they are constantly on the move especially during the night because this is where they had to start being smuggled out of theaters and such. So I genuinely think that John and Paul did not have the time or the space to have sex with each other. I know I am saying this when they had time to hook up with groupies between shows but considering who John and Paul are, and what they mean to one another, I just struggle to imagine them acting that way with one another. They would want to take their time with one another and get it right. They're hopeless romantics at heart, they're both deeply enamored with the idea of "you're special, you're different" so I genuinely think they would want to take their time with each other physically and do it right. I don't think they had that time in 1963 with the way they're running all over the UK.

Then there's the Absolute State of John and Paul's relationship in 1963. Remember that the halcyon days of Paris are way in the rearview mirror at this point. In 1962 Stuart died, Cynthia got pregnant, and John had to get married to save her reputation. I can't imagine Paul reacting well to any of this though I'm sure he put his cheery stoic mask on. Then in 1963, Julian is born. Barcelona happens and John seduces Brian to get the songwriting credit that he wanted and screws Paul out of their deal. Considering this is something Paul is still angry about to this day, I can't imagine how he blew his fucking top at John when he found out that May:

I don't think Paul was in the mood for any hooking up in 1963. John has a baby with a woman, is married, then he fucks off to have a gay experience with their manager and then when he comes back he's screwed Paul's side of the business on the downlow? I would be on the fucking six o' clock news lmao, John would not have escaped my wrath. It's really no wonder Paul made a specific point of hooking up with Jane Asher isn't it? He was making a point to John specifically and John seethed about it.

However I do think that something happened in 1963 that healed the rift in the Lennon-McCartney relationship:

Paul got sick from the gastric flu and he fainted dead away in the dressing room. John was very upset and was seen pacing the room when the doctor arrived to check on Paul. This is how we know that Paul actually fainted for real, if he was just feeling feverish John would be concerned but maybe not like that. @james-winston has a pair of really fantastic posts about the aftermath of the fainting incident that I have taken as gospel and I fully apply this to any McLennon analysis I write about this period. The key point though is this:

I have a headcanon that Paul being sick caused something to happen between John and Paul that left them both feeling awkward around each other. I don't think it is was sexual, I think it was more likely that John (who thought he was cursed to have all the men he loved die on him) was afraid something might happen to Paul, and reacted emotionally to it.

This all took place in November, after the Wooler thing, after the burn from Barcelona has had a chance to soften, after they both have had time to get used to the idea that Julian exists and has a place in their lives now. I think this was enough to mend things between them. And you know what else happened the night Paul fainted? Brian secured The Beatles their spot on Ed Sullivan:

So once Brian comes back and tells them the news, John and Paul flip right back into the honeymoon phase. The wounds of the past are forgotten (for now) and they're right back in each other's pockets. I think it's around this time period that Paul was taking photos that now make up Eye of the Storm.

TBH I can imagine John and Paul hooking up at this date. If someone looked at this and said "well this looks like a prelude to sweet love making to me" then that's perfectly reasonable. There's some suggestive photos in Eye of the Storm where Paul is taking John's picture from what looks to be a bathtub while John makes faces at him. It could have been then, absolutely.

But I like the idea that Paul wanted to wait until the next year. 1963 was rough on all of them and he and John are both big on getting new starts. Wait for 1964 to roll around. Brian says we're going to Paris in February. I can wait until then.

And just this once, it was worth it.

[ash5monster01]

could I request some randall floyd angst…

Why You?

Pairing: Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd x FemReader

Warnings: angst, lots of arguing, heavy sarcasm, misguided hatred, admitting feelings, fluff

Summary: Everyone held Pink up on some high pedestal, worshipping him as a King of the school. It was your job to knock him down a peg.

word count: 2k

Masterlist

The roll of your eyes is so heavy nearly no one misses it. Especially Pink who instantly shoots a glare your way. It was silly how instantly you were annoyed by him, him simply showing up late to the study hall where you sat amongst all your shared friends. They all jokingly cheered when he had finally made an appearance but you found no reason to applaud. Pink was just another guy no matter what all your friends thought.

“Nice to see you too Angel” Pink smirks at you, slinking into the only open seat by your side. You scowl at the nickname, him only calling you that since you acted anything but.

“Give him a break” Cynthia whispers in your ear and you sigh, plastering on a fake smile as you look at the boy.

“Nice to see you to Pink, how’s your day?” the sarcasm is heavy, dripping like venom from your tongue and Cynthia instantly has her head in her hands.

“It’s delightful Angel, will be even better when I see you at O’Bannion’s party tonight” his overly nice voice reacts to your own. You roll your eyes again before looking to Cynthia and Mike who had definitely blabbed. Tony wouldn’t blow you in like that.

“Good luck with that” you say as the bell the rings, the boy having nearly missed the entire period from whatever dilly dallying he had done. You don’t give him a chance to respond as you collect your books and start for the parking lot, eager to leave this school.

“I don’t understand why you don’t like him, he’s done nothing to you” Cynthia says catching up with and you sigh, fixing the bag on your shoulder as you continue down the hall.

“He’s annoying. All proud and cocky just because he’s some football star. All of you look at him like he hand created earth and personally I prefer to worship a different kind of higher being” you explain and Cynthia chuckles, shaking her head as she looks at you. After a few dates with Wooderson she had really come out of her shell. A little less afraid to tell you what she thinks.

“It’s not that. We look at him like that because he’s the nicest guy. He’s friends with everyone and genuinely cares about each of us. That includes you” she tells you, almost amused how you don’t see it. That Pink was as loved as he was for just being a good guy. That was something you were not used too.

“Whatever, I’ll see you at 7” is all you say before shoving your sunglasses onto your face and disappearing into the flurry of students on their way to their vehicles.

Cynthia sees you again at 7 o’clock sharp, standing on the curb, features illuminated by the glow of the joint pressed between your fingers. When you spot her you take one that final hit of the roach before dropping it to the cement and stomping it out. She one day wished to be as cool as you. Which was funny because you didn’t think you were cool, not even the slightest, especially as you slid into Cynthia’s car to attend a party you didn’t even want to in the first place.

“What, no Tony or Mike?” you ask, eyes a little hazed and relaxed smile on your face. Cynthia wished you could be this version of you around Pink. Not so tense and worked up. This was the version of you that had come to be her best friend.

“They caught a ride with Pink” you roll your eyes, a common notion at the mention of the long haired boy and Cynthia just chuckles. So stubborn.

“Whatever, I need a drink. Lets go” you tell her, dropping your lighter back into your bag and turning to radio up on a Lynryd Skynryd song.

The party is in full blast when you arrive, bodies of students littering the yard and clearly stuffy house. It looks like the last place you want to be but the idea of an alcohol strong enough to get you through the night being in that very kitchen was encouragement enough. So you step out of Cynthia’s car anyway and stalk towards it, the heavy music getting louder and louder with each step. More and more familiar faces waving and smiling.

“Hey I see Wooderson, I’ll be right back” Cynthia calls, smile wide and you don’t even fight it. Even if she’s left you alone it clearly makes her happy to be pursued by an older guy.

“Okay, I’ll grab us some drinks” you call back but she’s already halfway across the yard in the direction of Wooderson and Slater who share a heavy a joint. You just shake your head in amusement and duck inside the home.

Navigating the sea of bodies is difficult, especially when you’re not entirely sure where you’re going. Finally after two wrong turns you’re welcomed to a kitchen with an island covered in various liquors and a punch bowl that was guaranteed to be lethal. The only bodies were a few boys surrounding the kegs along the wall so you’re quick to help yourself. Actually a touch excited to let loose and have this moment just to yourself.

“Here, let me” the familiar voice makes you scowl. The warmth of his body to close in your space, the loose blue shirt unbuttoned one to many, and long brown hair bouncing softly.

“I can handle myself” you tell him, side stepping and continuing to mix your drinks as you had intended. Pink just chuckles, shaking his own head at you.

“Nothing I do will be good enough for you huh?” the question has caught you off guard, freezing under his stare as you bring one of the finished drinks to your lips and taking a much needed sip.

“I don’t know what you want from me Pink, so what one person doesn’t like you?” You tell him with the shake of your head, setting the cup down as you deem the drink consumable.

“Yeah but that one person is you!” he states, exasperated and annoyance run thin towards you. It brings you to look him in the eye, shocked he was actually losing his temper with you for once. You wonder what his words mean, why it made any difference at all.

“Look Pink, go out there and enjoy the high life. You’re the king of the school, you might’ve already peaked, so enjoy it while you can” your words are mean and the way he winces makes guilt swirl in your stomach.

“That’s the very thing Angel, I don’t want to peak. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life saying these were the best years of my life. I’ve done nothing but try to be your friend and it’s killing me” he says, stepping closer and facing you. In this proximity the height difference is noticeable. Pink didn’t always look like a football star but his size would surprise you when you least expected.

“Why? Why do we need to be friends? You’re friends with literally everyone else. I’m nothing special” you argue back and Pink groans, actually annoyed with how fucking oblivious you were.

“Because Angel, I like you. I like that you’re stubborn and I like that you do your own thing. I wish I was cool enough to go against everything I knew and still be acknowledged for it. I especially like when you make snide comments at me and it makes me want to kiss the scowl straight off your face!” he rants, determined to make you get it. To finally push some sense through that thick skull of yours. You tense at his words, never would you have expected Pink to be into you.

“So you’re telling me that I’ve done nothing but treat you like shit for years and instead of hating me, you’re into me?” you ask, a little baffled and trying to reel your thoughts in. It’s not like you thought Pink was ugly, in fact you’ve had to remove your stare quite a few times. Yet even you couldn’t explain your distaste towards him. Then that’s when it hits you, that all this anger directed toward him had been you trying to ignore your attraction. You were embarrassed for being just like everyone else and falling head over heels for Randall Floyd.

“Yeah Angel, gonna harass me for that one too?” he asks, seeing the thoughts flashing behind your eyes. Clearly gears were turning, trying to comprehend and react accordingly. Yet he had broken your normally quick witted brain. Struggling you’re unsure what to say or even do, until you shock you both.

A shaky hand grasps the blue shirt on his form, tugging him close and going against everything you stand for. Pinks eyes widen as you lift on your toes and seal your lips against his own. What’s the most surprising is how it isn’t weird, in fact it feels normal. Especially the way heat pools in your stomach and urges you to kiss him more. Just when his hands lift to hold you close, you’re pulling back, eyes blinking and trying to decide if that had been the best move. Your hand is still gripped on his shirt while Pink stays silent.

“I think I finally discovered an effective way to shut you up” you finally say, breaking the heavy silence between you both and Pink snorts. Your smile wide as you look at him wearing a smile that matches his own. He never thought there’d be a day you finally would smile at him like that.

“Does this mean you’re not gonna be mean to me anymore?” he curiously asks and you roll your eyes, yet this time it’s in a loving way. Now he could get used to that.

“That I can’t guarantee, but I would like to kiss you again” your honestly shocks him but he removes your hand from his shirt and takes it into his own anyway.

“Then let’s get out of here, I only came to this damn party because I heard you were going to be here” he tells you and you blush, feeling like a fool when not so long ago you rued his existence.

“And what do we tell our friends?” you ask and Pink smirks, clearly devious and unashamed. Whether it embarrassed you or not, he finally got what he wanted.

“The truth, that you can’t keep your hands off me so we have to go somewhere a little less crowded” and with your free hand you hit him softly, but he continues to grin.

“I think that’s the other way around Mr. I like everything about you” you mock and he laughs, pulling you close. You almost hate how nice this is, not hating him for once. Cynthia was right and now you could only hope you wouldn’t screw this up.

“At least I’m not embarrassed about it” he whispers, face close enough you could kiss him just as easily as before. His arms slowly snaking around your waist as your palm lands on the bareness of his chest. It’s makes butterflies ignite in your stomach.

“Now this is not what I was expecting to see” Tony’s voice breaks your attention off each other. You’re red in an instant but Pink won’t let you step away, holding you flush against him and proud of it.

“Angel isn’t feeling good, I’m going to drive her home” yet the look on Pinks face says anything but the excuse he had just given. Cynthia and the others standing behind Tony entirely amused.

“I told him I could walk, this is kidnap” but the squeeze to your side has you jumping at the ticklish touch and sealing your lips closed.

“The delusion has already set in, we better go” and he gives no one any more room to talk as he drags you out of the house and towards his El Camino. When you’re both shut inside all he does his smile before sliding across the front seat.

“You’re something else” you mutter just before he seals his lips against your own.

[lurafita]

Mundane AU with supportive Maryse

If talking mundane au where Maryse wasn't the worst more accepting of her son's sexuality

Maryse: "You know, my friend Ethel, you know Ethel, right? She used to come over every sunday and play a round of cards with me while your father taught you how to throw a ball." Alec: "Yes, I remember Ethel. How is she?" Maryse: "Oh, she is just splendid! Her daughter is coming to visit her soon. Cynthia. You remember Cynthia, right?" Alec: "Yes, I remember Cynthia. Look, mom, the reason I came to visit today,-" Maryse: "Ethel is so excited! And Cynthia has grown into a lovely woman. I saw some pictures. Did you know she just finished her doctorate?" Alec: "No. That's really good for her. But, uhm, you see, what I was gonna talk to you about-" Maryse: "And, according to Ethel, Cynthia had a bit of a shine on you back when you were both teens." Alec: "Well, it's a small town, not like she had a lot to choose from. But what I was trying-" Maryse: "Oh pish posh! You were such a sweet and smart and nice boy! Cynthia clearly knew a good catch when she saw one, so don't sell yourself short. Maybe you two could reconnect a bit when she comes to visit. She is single, too." Alec: "Mom, I'm gay." Maryse: "… Well, why didn't you say so sooner? Just last week I met with Janine. You remember Janine, right? She used to babysit you when you were young. She has a brother who is gay. I could have gotten his number for you" Alec: "Mom-" Maryse: "Oh, and then there is this couple who moved in the old Byers house across the street. You remember the Byers, right dear? Old man Byers would always shout about stray dogs on his lawn, even though there were never any stray dogs anywhere!" Alec: "Mom-" Maryse: "Anyway, this new couple? Lovely people. Two gay men, married for 2 years now. They surely have some friends they could introduce you to."

Alec: "Mom, I'm not looking to meet anyone right now." Maryse: "Oh, that's fine, too. But you know, it doesn't hurt to look. You aren't getting any younger. And weddings take such a long time to plan." Alec: "Mom, I'm not even in a relationship yet. There is no wedding." Maryse: "And adoption takes some time too, you know? You still want kids, right?" Alec: "Of course I do, but-" Maryse: "Oh, I know! Old Dale, you remember Dale, right? He runs the local autoshop. He just hired a few new mechanics. And they like working shirtless when it's hot. We could go have a look. Make it a Mother Son outing." Alec: "MOM!" Maryse: "What? I'm old, not dead. I appreciate the sight of some big, muscly men from time to time." Alec: "Oh my god!" Maryse: "A mechanic actually would be a nice match for you. They are bound to be handy with their… tools." Alec: "… I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened."

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with Evan Ross Katz (2024)

Whether he’s carrying Kylie Minogue to the Hyde Park Festival stage with his pal Andrew Scott, making the Internet go collectively feral for merely running a half marathon, chasing dinosaurs (in the upcoming Jurassic World reboot), romancing Matt Bomer (in Fellow Travelers) or Simone Ashley (in Bridgerton) or Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo (in Wicked) or, with his most recent venture, launching an LGBTQ+-focused charity, it seems Jonathan Bailey is always up to something. And yet, he still makes time, from his hotel room in Thailand (where he’s shooting Jurassic World 4), to hop on a Zoom with me to catch up.

We discuss everything from chafed nipples to queer shame to who he’d like to see in the “Drink Your Milk” T-shirt to if we’ll see him on Broadway any time soon, which is to say it’s a brief but wide-ranging chat.

I haven't seen you since the Met Gala! When we last spoke, you were prepping for your first half marathon. I obviously saw the viral photos that went around of you at the finish line, but how did it go?

You know, I should have put those nipple stickers on. That's my main takeaway. 

[Laughs] Did you bleed?

I did a bit, yeah. Did you? I know you've done a couple of marathons. 

I did bleed, and I didn't know about the bleeding beforehand. It's not something you really hear about but it's painful and uncomfortable.

Totally! And not even just beforehand: It took ‘til 4 hours later when my best friend told me there was evidence [of the bleeding]. But anyways… it was euphoric!

At least there was no photo evidence of that element!

Exactly! So thankfully, it's done. But it's just the most amazing thing, isn't it? And the community as well. Hackney Moves is amazing and they raised loads of money. It was the Bridgerton [Season 3 release] week so I feel like you could sort of harness that.

I do have to ask you a pressing question: Days ago, it was announced that Wicked had moved up its release date and will now be released the same day as Ridley Scott's Gladiator 2. Many online were affectionately calling this Barbenheimer 2.0, which led many to try and speculate about a proper portmanteau. Jon Chu wrote on Instagram that the consensus seems to be “Glicked,” which you reposted on Instagram, signaling a cosign. But I have to ask you, Johnny: Are you not considering“Wickediator”?

I love it. Whatever Jon Chu has ever said to me, I’ve taken as gospel, so I actually hadn't explored all the other options. The one that I've now heard since then which is making me reconsider everything is “Gladicked.” [Laughs] It's quite good, isn’t it? 

Yes! To me, “Glicked” feels too Wicked-skewed and then “Wickediator” is just clunky AF, so I like where you're at. 

We want it to be equal footing for sure. Another thing that I love that went viral is someone going: “Oh, brilliant. A film for the ladies and a film for the ladies.” [Laughs] 

I am both ladies! 

Oh, yes. Me too! 

Let’s talk The Shameless Fund, the charity you founded to raise money for LGBTQ+ nonprofit organizations. Can you tell me about the formation of this project?

It's been a labor of love over the last three or four years. It's been quite an organic experience, mainly inspired by Fellow Travelers, hence why I started with a collaboration which references a very specific scene and a performance by Matt Bomer.

I think through Covid and Bridgerton coming out, I found that there’s a real sense in the queer community about awareness of people who came before you and other experiences. And then obviously in Fellow Travelers, which explicitly explores that, the character I played was sort of on the front all the way through a very complicated experience for gay men at that time.

He experienced real moments of blooming liberation and quite insane amounts of oppression as well, and he was always fighting. He ends up becoming an activist, essentially, and I think it was in playing that part — which was kind of spiritual for me and for everyone who's involved in it — that I was like: Right, okay. I know that I've got this idea in my head and having experienced how much love there is for things like Bridgerton and how much money there is in collaboration, I felt that there's so many things I had said “no” to because it didn't feel quite right for me but if there was a world in which I could marry all of it in a creative sort of cocktail, then why not? And to give back to the community that I so love, and also, I'm a massive beneficiary of the work that the people that came before us did, so that's where it came to fruition from. 

You collaborated with our dear friend Jonathan Anderson, the creative director of Loewe, on a T-shirt with a memorable quote from Fellow Travelers to promote the launch of The Shameless Fund. How did this collaboration come to be?

During the strikes during the filming of Wicked, I went on a run one day and this idea of a T-shirt came into my head in full form. Then I sat next to Jonathan [at a Studio Voltaire fundraiser], and he’s lovely and brilliant and naughty and has a foundation, so it was all kind of organic.

Then I went over to DC to present Matt Bomer with an award for the Human Rights Campaign and it was really galvanizing to experience the American fervor. It was a gala, and the energy in the room was absolutely wild and there were amazing stories on stage. I texted Jonathan and I said: “Look, I have an idea and it involves milk and a T-shirt. What do you think?” and he said: “Call me tomorrow,” and then he said yes within the same phone call. I just felt tentative because it’s the sort of thing where you ask and you don't know, but then it went from there. 

I do recall first seeing a photo of you in the shirt several months ago during a night out with the Loewe team in China…

I went to the Loewe exhibition in Shanghai, which was incredible, and that night, we had quite a big night out and I wore the T-shirt because I’d been given the first prototype.

I was having a little boogie and [Anderson] uploaded it whilst I had no access to the Western World — my phone was off the whole time. So by the time I came home, you could see that people were gonna go wild for the T-shirt. Now, it's sold out and we're gonna get some more and it'll be a first step for The Shameless Fund to raise some money. 

Jonathan Anderson did my and my husband's wedding looks and I had to send him that same initial text to be like: “Can one even ask this?”

That's what's so brilliant in life: People who have the ability to collaborate, and that's just what Jonathan does.

One thing that you said just now that struck me is: “Why not?” I interview a lot of people in your profession and they're not asking that question all the time. A lot of people say:

“Oh, there's lots of money I can make. I can have more money. I can have more things for myself.”

Why are you a “why not?” person rather than a “why”? Is that something that was imbued in you by your family and your upbringing or is it how you've always been?

I don't know. I just feel quite strongly emotionally. I sense injustice in certain places, and I think what comes with success — especially being a gay actor — is that you think: “Hang on a minute. Are there limitations? Are there glass ceilings?”

When you experience success that you never thought you would and you grew up thinking that you're limited because of your identity and who you are, I think about the people that have supported me and the people that were really pioneering, but also, the actual heroes who do the real work; the people who work for these nonprofits and these charities where the majority of their energy is spent trying to raise money. When Bridgerton came out, I was inundated with requests to help draw attention to [these organizations] or raise money or donate things that they could sell, so that's where the kernel of this idea came from. All my life, I’ve been thinking about how I can give back.

It's not for nothing that you call this The Shameless Fund. We grew up at a time when, and I don't know if this is the same for you, but I didn't know that gay people existed. I thought I was the only one because I didn't have access to the kind of media kids do today where you can go on Instagram and see that gay is not only acceptable; it's cool. There's this very significant paradigm shift. I feel like a lot of gay men of our generation felt this shame as young people and often spend a lot of our adult lives working to rid ourselves of it. What is it for you about this idea of shame? 

I totally agree in terms of generations. I think the queer experience changes every five years. Even with some of my friends who are 10 years older than me — it's just so specific to cultural moments and representation as well, as you're saying. But I think my understanding of shame, especially having experienced Fellow Travelers, is that it permeates. It's not just a community that experiences the shame; it's the people around them. It's the parents who don't understand it and kick their kids out of their house. It's the sisters, it’s the cousins, it's the nephews, it's the children that are in broken families because of it. It's actually so toxic, that sense of self-hatred. That’s why The Shameless Fund is actually something that I hope is going to benefit everyone, even beyond the community itself.

Also, the older we get and because of the world we live in now, you can read The Velvet Rage and you can read Matthew Todd’s Straight Jacket and you can explore and have conversations with your friends that are really enlightening and you can have therapy, if you're lucky enough that you can afford to do that. As a 36-year-old now, I look back and I just go: “My God, I had such a loving family and yet I was still so isolated and so crippled.”

Shame can stop people from having a proper education and from being able to structure proper emotional relationships, like fundamental relationships with their family, which is the one place you're supposed to feel safe. It's flawed if the family is not aware of what you're going through. 

How did you come up with the name?

I did have other names [in mind for The Shameless Fund], but we won't go into them. One was so aggressive! [Laughs] But “The Shameless Fund” felt punk enough and fundamental enough. To me, I think that to be without shame is to be able to be joyful and to be able to thrive and to be able to learn and have a bloody good time whilst doing all those things, so it just felt right that it should be targeting shame because then hopefully it benefits the whole community in every color on the pride flag and, in turn, will also help so many people around them. 

So what can people expect next?

There's going to be some really fun things coming with The Shameless Fund and there's different ways in which it can grow, but I have people who really know what they're doing who are helping lead it. By the end of the year, we'll hopefully have worked with three different charities, starting small and helping people understand the work they're doing because that's the most important thing. If you think about Instagram, other than chatting with Evan Ross Katz [laughs], that's the platform through which you can really draw attention to things. Literally anyone in our community who's thriving at the moment — in a community that's obviously under threat going forward — knows what it's like to receive support. We know what we missed growing up.

I, too, grew up with an accepting family, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t still feel ostracized. I appreciate you recognizing that nuance, one I think many of us experience in some form but don’t always discuss.

Now, on The Shameless Fund’s website, it does say that more collaborations are coming. As you said, there’s going to be a restock of the Loewe shirts, but are there other brands in the mix?

There are other brands, and it'll be really exciting because the scope is endless, but I definitely had a couple of other ideas. After Fellow Travelers, the next thing will be a Wicked garment, so you might have to keep your eyes out for that. Maybe jumpers and sexy boots?

That’s perfect for my fantasy! So we've seen Kylie Minogue wearing the shirt — who I was lucky enough to be introduced to by you on the dance floor at the Met Gala after-party, thanks again — and we've seen Kit Connor, Scarlett Johansson and your Bridgerton co-star Luke Newton sporting it as well. I'm wondering who else is on your wishlist of celebrities that you'd like to see in the Drink Your Milk T-shirt?

Oh, God. What a question! Great shout. I would love to see Jerrod Carmichael in it right now. Very specifically Jerrod Carmichael. 

I feel that.

I would also love to see Hanson in it. Their three-part harmonies are a knockout at the moment.

At the moment?

[Laughs] We were just talking about this today. I’ve literally just come away from a field where I was running towards or away from dinosaurs, and we were talking about Hanson for about four hours today and listening to their three-part harmonies. 

That is not what I was expecting.

Who else? I can only think of people who are going to be wearing it over the next few weeks, which is quite exciting. Is there anyone you want to see in it? 

I have quite a few people. First of all, Jamie Dornan. I would love to see him in it. Paul Mescal, for obvious reasons. And the fans are waiting for Matt Bomer!

Don’t you worry. They’ll be satiated! They’ll be quenched. And Andrew Scott had a good time at Glastonbury is what I’ll say. [Laughs]

I bet he did! Last but not least: Richard II is bringing you back to the stage. Wicked is giving us the musical theater moment we've been craving. Is there a musical theater moment that’ll be live on stage in Jonathan Bailey's future?

Potentially, actually. Maybe in 2026. 

On Broadway?

I would! I had the best time recently in New York and I watched as many things as I could. I saw Stereophonic, which, to me, was like a religious experience. That, and Oh, Mary! And Cole Escola.

That is what it's about. I would come back to watch that; I was so inspired by it. Obviously, I'd love to [be on Broadway] at some point and you just have to wait and see what pops up. 

Source

[skzhocomments]

The Pearls On Your Neck (Hyunjin // Lee Know x OC)- Part Two

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Part One | Part Three (coming soon)

taglist: @ihrtlix

---

Part Two

chapter word count: 15.3k words

The loud sound of my cursed alarm woke me up from the deep slumber.

“Fucking hell.” I curse, rubbing my eyes off all the sleep.

I grab my phone as I’m laying back down on the bed, too lazy to get up from the soft, pink, silk sheets, and start sorting through all the notifications that popped up while I was asleep.

I see a few Whatsapp messages from the University’s group chat and I take a mental note to look at them later and check if there’s anything important, or if my brilliant classmates just spammed memes for no reason whatsoever, as they usually do.

Then I check my messages app to see what rant Cynthia had last night at 5 AM and quickly type a message to her, telling her to hurry the fuck up to my place, since we only have about 2 hours to help me get ready.

And then… I see another notification that catches my eye.

Pearls on Your Neck - 1 new message from Hyunjin❤️‍🔥

I am curious to see what he could possibly want so early in the morning, but before I tap on his message, my anxiety starts creeping in.

What if he cancelled our date?

What if he can’t come on Saturday?

My finger hangs a few millimetres above the notification, my heart racing in my chest pounding against my ribcage as if it wants to get out.

This is so stupid. I think and close my eyes, letting my finger fall on the screen.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Good morning, Pearl. :)

I hope you slept well and rested.

Excited for our date?

Just wanted to check that we’re still on for today at 12:30 at Harrods. Initially, I thought about sending you a message on your mobile number you typed into your booking appointment directly, but we haven’t discussed that in our previous conversation.

Do let me know if you’re comfortable with me using your private number instead of reaching out to you through this app.

Looking forward to your message.

Thank you, Hyunjin.

Tsch. He’s so polite. I frown, feeling my heart beating faster and faster in my chest.

Deciding that enough is enough, I stop overthinking and simply start typing out a reply for him.

Pearl:

Mornin’

I slept well, thank you.

Yes, if it’s okay with you, we’re meeting as previously discussed.

We can meet in the Harrod’s Cafe on the Third Floor and grab a coffee first, since we’re meeting each other for the first time.

You can absolutely use the number I typed in when confirming my booking. Thanks for asking first, though.

See you there? :)

Sending the message, I re-read it about 2 times before a new reply from him comes, the sound the notification made startling me.

Hyunjin❤️‍🔥:

Great. See you there. :)

I can’t wait to meet you, Pearl.

Love, Hyunjin.

How does he message back so fast?

Is he not nervous?

~

“OMG, GIRL!” Cynthia squeaks with joy. “Love, Hyunjin?! That’s code red!!!

“Code red? What is that supposed to mean?” I chuckle.

Cynthia was right, though. I start thinking about something that didn’t bother me initially before Cynthia brought it up.

It’s a bit weird.

Why did he type that all of a sudden?

What happened to “Thank you, Hyunjin”?

I analyse it over and over in my head and try to come up with a logical explanation, but Cynthia is quick to intervene and stop my train of thoughts.

“It means he’s whipped for you already!”

“Cynth,” I start, watching how the dress she helped me pick fits me. It’s a pale green off the shoulder ruffled dress that is flowy at the bottom and elasticated around the waist, the sleeves come down just below my elbow and are puffy, it looks really cute and would definitely work for a walk in the Shopping Center, but somehow I’m not satisfied with how frumpy it makes me look, so I quickly take it off over my head and try to speak through the fabric. “How can he be whipped for me when he doesn’t even know what I look like, or how I act? He doesn’t even know my personality!”

“Doesn’t he know what you look like, though? Didn’t you use a profile picture on the app?”

“No, I didn’t. It’s supposed to be a secret that I’m on there, you forgot? It’s better to just keep my identity private.” I say standing there in my lingerie exposed while waiting for my next dress to be handed to me.

“Yea, you’re right. You still used your real name, though, idiot. Hey, why don’t you try this other one? Seems kinda fitting.” Cynthia asks while handing me another dress from my closet. A rosso corsa red one, this time, not too elegant, but not too gauche either. It has a small split on the left leg and cute little red buttons going from under the breast cups down, right through the middle. It has a Queen Anne neckline where the fabric is scrunched giving the bust a bow effect. The neckline is connected to full-length puffy sleeves that cuff tighter around the wrist leaving no room for bracelets, but it also gives off an illusion of a square neckline. I loved this dress ever since I got it, mostly thanks to the beautiful Queen Anne neckline, but I never got to wear it.

She also hands me some heels to match and a handbag, the heels are sliver and sparkly with a glossy finish. The stiletto of the heel has a gold metal vine wrapped around it and flowers stuck to the base where the heel meets the shoe, it has little gems in the middle of each flower, and the back of the heel has a few metal leafs on it as well. The handbag is simple and white to match the flowers with a silver chain for a strap.

“Seems fitting how?” I question Cynthia back. It is a cute dress, but why would she say that?

“Obviously because Hyunjin loves red!”

“And how would you know that?” I raise an eyebrow at her before taking another look in the mirror. The dress does look amazing on me.

“His red heart emoji, of course! And the fire??? Hellloooo! Pay attention, Pearl!”

“Tsch, that doesn’t have to mean anything, Cynth! It’s just an emoji!”

“Two of them! Come on, it’s the perfect choice for the weather outside, and judging by the material, it must be comfortable as well! You’ll surely walk a lot buying clothes today, so it’s just perfect.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “I’ll keep it on. Will you do my make-up, please?” I sit down on the white chair in front of my vanity and watch Cynthia expectedly.

“Of course, I’m gonna make you the most beautiful girl this country has ever seen!” She exclaims, giggling just like a kid who found their most-wanted presents wrapped under the Christmas tree.

“I knew I could count on you.” I grin.

“By the way, how are you going to find each other? I mean, you do know what he looks like. Are you just going to approach him?”

“Oh, he has my phone number, so I guess he’ll just call me as soon as he gets there or something?”

“WAIT! HE HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER?!” Cynthia suddenly screams, jolting up from her chair.

“Of course, he does, how else are we gonna go on a date?” I roll my eyes a bit.

“No, that’s not what I was getting to! You said he doesn’t know what you look like!”

“Uhm, yeah, he doesn’t.”

“Idiot, he has your phone number!” She facepalms. “He can check out your pic on Whatsapp, or see if your phone is linked to a Facebook account or something!”

“Nah, I doubt he’d go through all that trouble just for a random date he’s paid to attend.” I shrug.

But what if she’s right?

Nah. No way.

“I’m telling you, he definitely checked you out. That’s why he changed his sign off!”

“Cynthia, you’re exaggerating again. The sign off doesn’t mean anything, nor do the emojis, or whatever you’re on about. Stop rambling and get to work! I have to leave in 35 minutes!”

“No, no. You hear me out. When you start dating this guy for real, you must think back on this moment and tell me ‘Cynthia, you’ve been right the whole time, and I’ve been an idiot.’ Got it?” she grinned, showing her perfect, pearlescent white teeth.

“That’s not going to happen, dumbass. I’m just using him while I need him, and when my parents get over their dumb idea of marrying me off to Minho, I’m done with this fucking app. Got it?” I imitate her, and she drops it while she keeps on doing my make-up.

I wish to put a curse on Cynthia and her first offspring, I’m late because she wouldn’t let me leave in time because apparently being late is in fashion. She just couldn’t get it through her head that this is not a real date and that Hyunjin was, in fact, hired to be there. I hate being late. It always leads to gut-crushing anxiety, and sweat, lots of sweat. I swear if I didn’t put perfume in my bag I would have to keep Hyunjin at least 5 feet away at all times. Luckily I do have perfume, my favourite one Maison Francis Kurkdjian’s Rounge 540, it's very sweet but also classy and mature. I hate it when perfumes are sickeningly sweet, that’s why this one is perfect.

While I'm on my way I receive a call from an unknown number, fuck. I answer it quickly.

“Hello?” I say quickly because I'm in a rush.

“Hiya, it’s Hyunjin I’d just like to let you know I'm here sitting in the cafe.”

His voice is much softer and smoother than I expected, smooth and soft like letting rich chocolate melt in your mouth.

“Oh… Hyunjin, I'm really sorry I'm running a bit late, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon then.”

He sounds so calm it's almost calming my nerves.

“Yes, erm see you soon”

I end it quickly, wanting the ground to swallow me; how much more awkward can I get?

I’m here, on the third floor standing just outside the cafe. I don’t know what to do, do I just walk in and walk up to him? No, I should message him. I go through my recent call list and click on his number and name him boyfriend💋 so it's not suspicious when he messages me.

Pearl:

Hi, Hyunjin, I’m here just standing outside the cafe.

Boyfriend💋:

Oh, I’m sitting by the window.

Two seconds I’ll come and walk you in.

Fuck this is happening.

It’s not even a real date but I'm so nervous.

I start playing with my phone case popping it on and off my phone for what feels like forever.

Until the cafe door opens and he walks out, he’s real, oh he’s definitely real and tall. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, well I did tell him to wear whatever he’s most comfortable in and it only makes sense since he’s not going to be in those clothes for the majority of our time here. I suddenly feel insecure—overdressed. So I pull my bag in front of me from where it was hanging by my side.

He’s absolutely stunning, it’s unnerving. His blonde hair is down in a middle part and styled straight. I’ve never seen a man who looks so good with long hair, it frames his face perfectly.

He smiled at me sweetly, eyes sparkling and a bouquet of flowers in his right hand adorned with silver rings and a loose chain hanging from his wrist. A huge bouquet of carnations, every shade of red possible. “Pearl, I'm so happy to finally meet you, You look breathtaking.”

My heart pounded at his words, I don't know what to say or act, “Thank you, I bet you say that to all your dates.” I said trying to make a joke out of this whole situation - because it is a joke that I'm doing all this just not to get married.

He didn’t say anything for a second and just looked me up and down, “I got these flowers for you.” he said, extending them towards me.

“Um.. thank you, Hyunjin, they are beautiful and they match my dress. How did you know?”

“I didn’t. Red is my favourite colour,” He says simply before walking closer to me and taking my hand, “shall we go inside?”

Damn Cynthia and her intuition.

I’m shocked at his bold gesture I was certainly not expecting, so I just nod shyly.

He leads me into the cafe and brings me to a small table by the window— probably the one he was sitting at earlier. I take my time to look around the cafe I’ve been in numerous times—I should feel in my element, however, I’m completely out of it and there's no time to get some liquid courage.

Hyunjin’s chuckle pulls me out of my thinking so I turn my head to look at him, only to see him already looking at me, “You don’t have to be nervous, Pearl.” He’s smiling at me so sincerely that I almost feel like an idiot for being nervous.

Fake it till you make it.

“Hyunjin… so” I clap my hands together, “basically, what I have planned for today is to just go over stuff, get you an outfit for the dinner and get to know each other so it’s more… more realistic, if you get me?”

Wow he’s really good at this, he’s looking at me like he’s genuinely interested in what I have to say.

“Okay, do you want to start now or would you like to get a coffee first?” Hyunjin says, as his fingers move to his face, and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Let’s get a coffee first,” I say smiling.

“I’ll go get it for you, what would you like?”

I nod and smile at him, “Can I have a raspberry and pomegranate green tea?”

He smiles, “Good choice,” and walks off to the coffee counter.

I start thinking about what I’m going to tell him and how to start it, but the more I think about it, the more awkward it becomes in my head.

Should I tell him why I’m doing this?

Yeah that sounds like a good idea.

I make a mental checklist in my head about things to talk about, why, when, how, age, interests, family members and friends. Then after we've gone through all of that we can start shopping.

I put my head in my hands and realise that I sound like a drill Sergeant.

“Pearl, you okay?” Hyunjin chimes as he places my tea in front of me.

I sit up and try to look somewhat graceful in my chair, “Yeah, of course, I am. So… wanna get started to get to know each other?” I question and he just nods looking me in the eyes, “Okay so why I needed to do this is because my parents want me to get married to someone and I don't want to. That's basically it, so that's why you're here, to help me out of this mess.” I finish my sentence chuckling.

Hyunjin looks at me the whole time, gaze never drifting, and I smile at him to which he returns, “Is Pearl your real name?” he asks, lips puckering around the side of his cup, genuine curiosity swirling around in his eyes.

He was cute I’d definitely give him that, “Yes, my real name is Pearl, I’m 20 years old and in my second year of university.”

“What do you major in uni?”

I smile at his eagerness, “Woah, Hyunjiin, slow down! You haven’t told me anything about yourself.”

His eyes go wide at my statement and the tip of his ears go red, “Oh right,” he laughs, “Um, Hyunjin is my real name and I’m 23 years old,”

He didn’t seem upset about the statement, I'm grateful.

It's vague but I won't push about it.

Actually, I have to push about it if he’s going to be my fake boyfriend!

“Hyunjin, what do you like?” I question, putting my elbows on the table and resting my head in my hands looking at him.

Hyunjin shifts under my gaze, “I like loads of stuff, music, flowers, art, odd little shops you find in strange places,” I watch his eyes sparkle as he talks; he seems like a really passionate person, I like that.

Instead of talking about myself, I try to get to know him better, “What do you mean odd little shops?” I ask.

His eyes go wide, this time from what seems to be excitement, “Well actually,” he starts, bringing his hands together, “ shops that sell second-hand stuff or crystals, do you know what I mean? Just random miscellaneous stuff.” I nod, listening to the excited boy.

“Crystals?” I chuckle.

“Mhm. Each one of them means something different, and I find that really interesting.” He continues explaining.

“Really?” my eyes are the one to go wide this time. I’ve never met a boy who cares about stuff like this before. Cynthia used to tell me about crystals all the time, but she’s usually a nutcase, so I never really paid attention to her. Now, seeing how happy Hyunjin is to talk about random stones, I wish I had.

“Really. Those clear quartz diamonds on the back of your shoes? Which are very lovely, may I say.” he chuckles a bit. “They mean manifestation. What are you trying to manifest, beautiful?” He asks, interest sparking in his eyes.

The nickname makes my cheeks blush and I am sure they must be the colour of my dress by now. However, God blessed us humans with make-up. The layer of foundation should be able to cover my hopeless blushing.

“A marriage cancellation,” I reply, averting my gaze.

“I see.” He hums. “Is it set in stone?”

“Not yet. That’s what I need a boyfriend for.”

“Well, you got one, don’t you?” he smiles. I feel tension growing between us, as my heart skips yet another beat.

“Hyunjin?” I look into his brown eyes again.

“Yes?”

“You said… every gem and crystal has a meaning. What about Pearl?”

“Pearl?” he raises his eyebrows, the curve of his lips that are way too fascinating for me are still pointing upwards. “It means… purity, rarity… and beauty.” he glances straight at me, articulating every word with a roll of his tongue, and when he says the final word, his hand finds mine on the table, fingers gently grazing the skin on my knuckles, making my breath hitch in my throat and my skin getting goosebumps all over.

I’ve never in my life been more thankful to be wearing long sleeves than I am now.

Hyunjin slowly grabs my hand with the same refinement, as if I’m truly the rarest gem he’s ever touched, and continues drawing small, excruciatingly painful circles over my knuckles.

“You know…” he starts in a low voice, barely audible and hard to distinguish from the cafe’s chatter. “Pearl is the most elegant, and she shines brighter than any other gem I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes never leave mine, but my nervousness is growing so uncomfortable, I find that the straw in my drink is the most interesting thing to look at. I need to stare at anything else but his eyes, because my poor heart would forget that this is a fake date, and that he is a fake boyfriend.

“My beautiful gem, it’s your turn to tell me more about yourself now. Do you have any siblings?”

“Mhm, an older brother, or the thorn in my side, as I like to call him.” I reply, and Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle. I’m too aware of his hand still on top of mine, but I try to ignore the feeling growing in my chest and I continue talking. “His name is Seungmin and he’s actually dating my best friend, if you can believe that!”

“No way!” Hyunjin exclaims, seeming so interested in what I have to say, I can’t stop thinking about how professional he’s being. Again.

“Yeah, I really worried at first, but they’ve been dating for almost a year now, and they seem in love, so who am I to stop them?” I shrug.

“You can’t stop true love from happening, from being felt.” He squeezes my hand.

“I guess that’s true. That’s what I’m hoping for with my family and this whole… marriage ordeal. When they see me being in love with someone, I just hope they’ll have the same consideration for me as they had for Seungmin and Cynthia.”

“Cynthia? That’s your friend’s name? I see you’re only surrounded by people with interesting names. Moon Goddess… her parents were inspired.”

“You think so?” I smile.

“Mhm. Do you know her from Uni?”

“No, although she does go to the same University. We’re in different majors. I've known her since high school.”

“Were you in the same class?” He asks inquisitively.

“Unfortunately.,” I chuckle., “I used to not like her at all at that time, she had this big, jarring mouth. I rolled my eyes so bad when the chemistry teacher forced us to do a project together, God!” I laugh, and Hyunjin also seems to enjoy the story, as he shares my excitement and laughs with me. Sharing stories with him like this makes me feel more at ease, and it feels somewhat… natural. He has a calming, laidback aura about him, maybe he’s carrying some crystals on him now.

“So what happened next? How did you two become friends?” he asks, curiosity audible in his tone. as he leans in closer to the table.

“Well, we had this stupidly impossible project to work on, and none of us knew any chemistry-”

“And you also didn’t have any between yourselves.” Hyunjin interrupts me with a giggle.

“Exactly!” I laugh. “We were both convinced that we’re screwed, so I think we kinda bonded over our… stupidity?” I tilt my head a bit and Hyunjin squeezes my hand, reminding me that it’s there. It felt so normal to have his hand on mine, that I no longer noticed the way his thumb was drawing a pattern on the back of my hand. Feeling that squeeze brings me to reality and I flinch a bit, almost removing my hand from his grasp. However, he holds it firmly, not letting me move away.

“Sorry,” I mumble, startled by my sudden reaction.

“Don’t worry, Pearl.” he smiles sweetly. “I’m not going to let you leave anywhere. Not until you finish your story.”

“I… uhm…”

What the fuck, Pearl, get yourself together!I say to myself in my mind.

“I also hated chemistry.” Hyunjin brings up the topic again, as if to help me remember where I left off.

“Yeah… so… uhm… Cynthia and I were fighting all the time not knowing how the fuck- I’m sorry.” I put my hand over my mouth as soon as I realised that I let out a curse.

“Stop apologising, cutie, you can curse all you want. You’d still be the most elegant Pearl in the world to me.”

“God, stop flattering me so much…” I avert my gaze and clear my throat. “Anyway, we didn’t know how to get started on the project and were basically forced to spend time together. One thing led to another, and all of a sudden we realised we shared many interests and we became really good friends.”

“But wait, if you know her from high school, and you’ve been friends since, how did she and Seungmin start dating only a few months ago?” He inquires, and I get surprised that he not only remembered my brother’s name, but that he also remembered such a small detail—when he and Cynthia started dating—which means that Hyunjin is actively listening to what I say, and doesn’t just nod out of courtesy.

“That’s when they met.” I laugh, remembering how shocked both of them were to bump into each other in our house randomly at 3 AM while Cynthia and I had a sleepover. “It was basically love at first sight. Seungmin studied abroad for a few years so they never really knew about each other… until they basically crashed into each other in the hallway - Cynthia getting out of my room, and Seungmin wanting to come in to say hello as soon as his flight landed and he returned home.”

“That’s so funny!”

“And that’s not all! Cynthia and I were playing around doing a photoshoot. She was wearing this really sultry red lace lingerie and didn’t bother putting anything else on since she knew my parents weren’t home. The poor girl was horrified!”

“I can imagine. Breakfast the next day must’ve been really amusing to watch.” A smile plays on his lips.

“It was! God, they were so awkward.” I laugh reminiscing about the memory and shaking my head at how mortifying the whole situation was for everyone as I relive it.

“I wish I were there to see it.” He chuckles, probably imagining the whole scene.

“So Seungmin studied abroad, and you’re studying here? You didn’t tell me earlier what you are majoring in.”

“Business.”

“Beautiful and smart.” Hyunjin compliments me.

I shrug off the compliment and change the conversation, “What about you, Hyunjin? Do you have many friends?”

“I have a few,” he says while he looks up to think, “Since you’re studying Business, you must be going to the University of Thomas Aquinas, right? My roommate actually works at a Cafe near there, you might’ve seen him, if you enjoy drinking coffee in-between classes.”

“Really? What’s his name? What does he look like?” I ask, curious. The simple thought of possibly sharing an acquaintance with Aphrodite’s son lookalike seems purely impossible. There’s no way our universes would’ve ever collided if it weren’t for this Pearls on Your Neck app.

“His name is Felix. He works at this really funky-looking cafe right next to your Uni as a barista. He’s an innocent blonde guy, younger than me by a few years. Rings any bells?”

“No freaking way!” I exclaim, my eyes going big. “Felix is your roommate?!”

“You know him?” he gasps, as shocked as me. “Really?! That’s so funny! Wow!”

“I know, right?! But Hyunjin, you know what this means?! We just found ourselves the perfect excuse! We met at the Cafe and fell in love at first sight!” I declare with resolve, but Hyunjin only tugs his lips into a smile, not commenting further on what I’ve said.

I reach out for my drink again, realising that my tea has gone cold - from all the talking - when it reaches my mouth, I can’t help but wince at the displeasing feeling of the cold liquid travelling down my throat. It was really good tea, not too strong or weak like piss that you get in other cafes, and I’m deeply dissatisfied that I don’t get to enjoy it warm.

Hyunjin leans forwards on the table, placing his iced Americano down, and raising an eyebrow at me, “Cold?”

I keep forgetting this is a fake date.

Hyunjin is really good at this and extremely accommodating, he does little things to help me calm down when my brain goes into overdrive and even reminds me when I lose track of my conversation - just proving even more that he is a professional at this. I have to keep reminding myself that it's fake or I’m scared I’ll go crazy with delusion.

We’ve not even spent the whole day together yet, but I feel content but nervous, exactly how someone should feel on a first date.

Thinking about it now, Hyunjin always skips over the ‘fake’ dating details. He’s very good at acting and if he didn’t want to be here, he is very good at hiding it—I also keep forgetting that this is his job. I want to ask about his job and how he got into this line of work or if he’s ever had any crazy clients, but considering how he’s acted the last two times, I decide it's best not to - maybe it’s a rule. Maybe I can ask him another time; either way, I’m curious about him in a way that I’ve never been curious about a person before.

Hyunjin is undoubtedly cute, extremely attractive, and he’s fun in a quirky way, almost reckless. I mean, a man talking about crystals so fondly is unheard of and being in this line of business you have to be a little crazy, plus, he definitely has a way with words that can make any woman blush, but he’s also polite and seems gentle - he seems to have a gentle soul.

Considering I avoid relationships like the plague I'm actually enjoying this—enjoying talking to a new person.

Maybe I just need to go out more.

I’m glad that I’m doing this though because it’s new and apparently I enjoy talking to other people than Cynthia. Even if this is fake to get me out of a potential engagement, I’m enjoying it…

I realise I’ve spaced out, so I clear my throat, “Hmm? Oh… yeah it’s a bit cold.” I confirm his suspicions.

He nods, “Do you want another? I’d like to get to know you more before we play build a perfect boyfriend with me.” he jests.

I laugh at his joke, finding his strange way to make a joke actually quite hilarious, “No, I’m okay. But don’t you think you’ll look good dressed up all dapper?” I question him tilting my head slightly, I know he’ll look good dressed up all smart when he looks this good dressed in casual clothing.

He hums and puts his hand under his chin scrunching his forehead as if he was thinking, “I think I’ll look good if you pick it out for me, I guess.”

I nod agreeing because I do in fact have a great eye for men's fashion after growing up with Seungmin who would pair vertically striped trousers and horizontally striped shirts together, “I guess you're right, I do have a good eye for fashion.”

“Oh really?” he questions “What do you think of my attire right now?”

I have to think for a second, he looks amazing, but I can’t say that for obvious reasons, “It’s good… perfect for shopping”

He sighs as if he’s relieved, “Thank god for that, can I be honest with you?” He questions as if he’s scared to reveal his honest thoughts.

I don’t know why he’s asking that, of course, he can be honest with me. I want him to be honest with me, I want to know more about him and how he thinks, he seems different from most men I’ve met… I want to know what he’s thinking and how his mind works.

Why is he even asking that?

I nod eagerly, “Of course!” that came out a bit too eager.

A slight blush rises to my cheeks, if he noticed it he didn’t tease into it or make any comments, like other men I know would do.

He smiles at me genuinely and I notice how his eyes crinkle at the corners, it's cute, “Well, I was a bit worried I was underdressed when I saw you.” He looks down at his jeans as if he’s actually embarrassed about it.

At this moment I realise, his mind is just as complex as mine, I thought I was overdressed, “No, not at all.” I console him and reach out to pat his hand, that's when I notice it hasn’t left mine the whole time.

It’s strange. I never thought I’d forget another hand sat idly in mine, I never thought it would feel so normal. I always thought it would feel anomalous.

I want to take my hand away from his but I don’t want to leave its warmth.

Yeah, that's it.

I just don't want to be cold.

As if he’s observed my weird stare at our hands he speaks again pulling my view away from his hand in mine, “Do you have any hobbies?”

I think hard looking up, I can’t remember the last time I did something that could be classed as a hobby.

I mean one time Cynthia decided we were going to be chefs and nearly burnt down the house… but that only happened once because we were banned from using the kitchen after that, I think harder trying to recall something of significance.

Bingo!

“I used to go on fishing trips with my dad and brother once a month, I really enjoyed it! We even used to go on fishing holidays. We went to Gillhams fishing resort a few times in Thailand, I’ve never seen fish so big! Oh and how could I forget I once caught a 250-pound Mekong catfish, it took me about three hours to reel it in, and it was so hot I was sweating so bad not to mention the sunburn I had after being in the direct sunlight for that long-” I cut myself off by pulling my hand away from his abruptly and slapping it over my mouth, Hyunjin’s expression goes shocked for a split second but he quickly regains his smile, I’m completely embarrassed from my rambling, I coughed a bit trying to regain my dignity from massively oversharing, “I’m so sorry for rambling”

I’m a bit upset that my hand is so cold and I regret pulling it away in my state of fluster, but I can still feel his hand as if it’s imprinted itself into mine.

So, instead of reaching my hand back out to his, I place my other hand in mine hoping to regain the warmth but to no avail because both of my hands are cold.

I can’t reach out to his hand because that would not be appropriate for me to do so, as we haven’t established boundaries and I barely know the man. I’ll just let him take the lead. I would hate to make him uncomfortable, especially while he’s working.

Although it would be something we should probably discuss.

It would make life a lot easier, but it doesn’t matter at the moment anyway because even if we did set boundaries I wouldn’t have the balls to reach out to him anyway, I shouldn’t even be wanting to hold his hand.

He looks at me bemused, “Don’t apologise, I was enjoying your story,” his lips turn into a little pout, “Please continue, you know… I’ve always wanted a fishing buddy… maybe we can go on a fishing date after the dinner?!” He says eyes full of hope.

Fishing buddy?

Another date, is this some sort of would you like to book in for a lash infill tactic?

Of course, realistically I’d love to go on a fishing date with Hyunjin, I’d love to get to know him more but this isn’t real and I find I’m having to remind myself of this again.

I decide not to think about it too much and change the subject, “Yeah… you said you like art?” I question even though I distinctly remember him saying it, “I’d really love to get into it but I wouldn’t know where to start or how to start,” I let out a deflated chuckle.

His eyes sparkle and his lips pull into a very big grin seemingly pleased that I’ve remembered this small detail about him, “You remembered that?” He questions and I want to say why wouldn’t I?

It makes me think again, how do all his other fake dates treat him? Do they just talk about themselves the whole time? The thought makes me a bit angry because it seems to me that everyone should want to get to know Hyunjin but also, don’t conversations work both ways? Isn’t that how it works, one person asks a question and the other answers vice versa?

“Of course, I remembered we only spoke about it,” I look at my phone checking the time, “Wow, we only spoke about it two hours ago.” I try to deflect the amazed look on his face because it’s honestly not that impressive that I can remember a small detail about him, actually, I think I’ve memorised everything he’s told me about himself- because I need to. That's how fake relationships work.

Not that I know anything about fake relationships, but I'm pretty sure with Hyunjin’s amazing acting it will look undeniably real.

“Thank you, maybe I can help you get into painting… only if it’s something you genuinely want, don't just say it on my account.” This is a first, for Hyunjin to look so unsure of himself.

“Of course, I’d love that! I’m always up for new things.”

He smiles at me as if I’ve hung the moon and stars in the sky, “I’m actually very excited to get to know you, Pearl.”

I chuckle at his expression and statement, “Do you say that to all your dates?” I question and quickly realise by the way his facial expression drops for the slightest moment that I should have not said that.

I don’t want him to think I’m being rude and think that he’s cheap because he does this for a job, actually, that's the furthest thing I think of him. He’s my lifesaver at this point, and he’s quite literally going to save me from a loveless marriage and an eternity of misery.

“What are you on about? I’m on a date with you.” he resorts to quickly making me confused.

“Hyunjin… you know you can be real around me, I know this is a fake date and you're not actually my boyfriend,” I say factly.

“I don’t know what you're talking about. I'm your boyfriend and we are on a date,” He said and quickly stands up, “come on, we should go shopping now.” He says abruptly, leaving me behind a bit before stopping at the door and keeping it open for me while I’m still sitting confused by what has just happened.

Did I just offend him and his work?

Shit, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.

I walk up to him as he smiles at me sweetly.

“Hyunjin… I didn’t mean to offend you… actually, that’s the last thing I want to do since you're saving my life by doing this for me-” Apparently my apology isn’t acknowledged because he cut me off.

“Where should we look first?”

“Uhm… I think the man’s section is on the First Floor, if I remember correctly…” I reply quietly, looking down at my shoes and rubbing my hands together, fidgeting my fingers nervously.

Did I upset him that much?

I must’ve said something wrong…

“Pretty, is everything okay?” He asks with a frown and grabs my hands with his, as if our conversation earlier never happened. He separates my hands and continues holding my left one tightly, starting to walk towards the large escalators. “I don’t like seeing you upset, my beautiful Pearl.”

I want to say something.

But don't know how to reply, “Uhm… ”

“You know what I think will make you feel better?” he smiles, and abruptly changes directions. Instead of going downstairs, he drags me towards a photobooth and effortlessly lifts up the black curtain, pulling me inside.

The space is narrow, I worry that being so close to him will make him uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to care that much. He’s skilfully pushing the right buttons on the machine to get it to work - 2 sets of 8 pictures each - and that reminds me once again that despite it being the first time I’ve ever been in a photobooth, let alone with a guy, he most definitely comes to this kind of place with all his dates to take pictures.

Why do I have a strange pang in my chest when I think about this? I wonder, but quickly shake the thought off as Hyunjin positions himself right next to me. Legs and arms pressed against each other.

It’s okay Pearl, don’t overthink this…This is a fake date.

A first flash is seen and I can’t help but think about how awkward we must be looking right now, simply sat next to each other facing the screen in front of us, not even holding hands anymore.

Is this supposed to be fun?

Just as this thought crosses my mind, Hyunjin puts a hand around my waist, fingers delicately sitting above my pelvis and he spins me around to face him. His right-hand finds its way to my left one, which he raises in the air, mere centimetres in front of his lips, and the next thing I see is the blinding flash while I feel his lips softly press against my knuckles.

I let out a gasp as he smirks.

“What is it, my Pearl, are you flustered?” he raises an eyebrow and stands straight although his neck is a bit bent due to his sheer height so he crouches slightly, his left hand still on the back of my waist, hugging my frame tightly so we are flush against each other.

“I- what?” I stumble on my words and tilt my head with confusion.

What just happened?

Another 2-3 pictures are being taken while I’m trying to figure out what the hell just went on and how I can forget the feeling of his soft, perfect unchapped lips on my skin.

I’m crazy.

Then, just as abrupt as earlier, Hyunjin pulls my body closer to him and whispers slowly in my ear: “This dress looks so beautiful on you.” before pecking me on the cheek.

My eyes go wide at his bold gesture and my face has turned pink, and that’s when I notice that all 8 pictures have finally been taken. The air inside the photobooth feels way too stuff, because Hyunjin’s gesture turned my stomach upside down, and my heart is racing at 200km/h.

He takes out the two sets of pictures and looks at them with a bright smile on his face, then takes out his wallet from his back pocket and places one of the sets inside, before handing me mine.

“We look so cute together.” he grins childishly, giving me a second to look at the work of art we’ve just taken.

I’ll give it to him though because fuck, we look so good together.

No freaking way.

When my eyes find the last picture, I get flustered all over again, seeing that it perfectly captured the moment of Hyunjin kissing my cheek.

Hyunjin smiles at me triumphantly, “Do you feel better?”

I’ve come to the conclusion that all my overthinking about boundaries earlier was pointless, and to think I was getting worked up over holding his hand. But, my suspicions about him being a little crazy are definitely confirmed.

“Hyunjin… this was a good idea, I can put this in the back of my phone case, you’re so smart!” I say, evaluating and analysing why he has just done that and I feel completely stupid, obviously, it was so we look more legit.

He looks at me wearing a complacent smile, “It was a good idea, right? Everyone loves a photo booth!”

Although he doesn’t want to talk about it right now, he knows we’re on a fake date but he’s also making ‘memories’ for us to show my family, why didn’t I think of this? I didn’t even think of taking photos. He may be one of the smartest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I carefully take off my clear phone case and slide the photos in between the small gap.

I do actually feel a lot lighter and it’s Hyunjin’s doing that has caused it, “Shall we go get you some clothes then?” I offer, sporting a beaming smile.

“Okay let’s go!” He says excitedly and puts his hand out for me to grab.

We walk around and I finally spot a blazer in a very dark teal blue, and I drag him with me as quickly as I can in my heels, “Woah Pearl, slow down, no one is going to take whatever you’re on a mission to get.” He says behind me nearly tripping up.

I get the blazer and hold it up to him, it looks good with his complexion, “Hyunjin, will you try this on?”

He just simply nods and I go and hunt down the matching trousers.

When I find them I come across two more different suits that will look good so I take this opportunity to pick them up, guessing his size.

I knock on the changing room door and wait for a response.

“Pearl, is it you?” He asks, making me chuckle.

“Yeah, I got you some more bits to try on,”

I hear a few shuffles before the door opens and he peeks his head out, “Ah.. amazing go sit on the chair and I’ll come out and be your personal model.” He winks

I laugh at his remark and nod, handing him the clothes.

As I wait on the cream leather seat in the mirrored room, I find myself staring at the door that Hyunjin is behind.

Obviously, curiosity takes the best of me but I can’t carry through with it until he comes out, so I sit there staring at my hands and fiddling with the cuff of my dress.

“Close your eyes,” Hyunjin calls out, so I do to entertain him.

I hear footsteps getting closer, and Hyunjin calls out, “Pearl, you can open them now”

Hyunjin is finally standing in front of me in a dark teal blue blazer button-up with Burberry stitched into the breast. Featuring a collar style, front welt pockets, long sleeves, a front button fastening and long sleeves with matching trousers that look as if they were tailored to fit him, the plain white button-up shirt pairs perfectly.

His long legs are complemented profusely by the fit. The Blazer isn’t too tight either but just tight enough in all the right places, it feels rude to be looking without saying anything this long but I can't help it when he looks so good.

“Beautiful, does it look okay?” Hyunjin says with a teasing tone in his voice, and raised eyebrow.

“Hyunjin, you. It looks so good!” I exclaim.

“You think? Is this the one?” He says and a slight tinge of red comes to the top of his ears.

I think for a while - is this the one? It's clear that Hyunjin looks amazing in this, but is this right for him to meet my family in?

“There’s more, try them all on and then we’ll pick the best… well not the best… I mean, you're going to look amazing in all of them” I stammer.

“I’m glad you like it,” he looks down at his shoes, “maybe it would look better with different shoes,”

“Yes! Oh my god! Wait there, let me go and get some shoes. What size?”

He laughs at my excitement, “size 10”

I nod then run to the shoes, I pick up a pair of black chunky leather loafers premium Italian calf leather and gold-plated hardware across the talus. Perfect for a statement.

The next pair are slightly heeled ankle boots with a pointed toe in black leather, with a gold buckle on the inside. They are sleek and look smart.

I walk with a stride back to the changing room, “Hyunjin! I found some shoes!”

“Pop them by the door please, I'm trying on another one,”

I do as I'm told, barely containing my excitement - it is truly hard to not get pumped up when someone is willing to wear anything given to them, especially when they look like a model.

I sit there a bit too eagerly, fidgeting crossing and uncrossing my legs.

It’s taking way too long, “Hyunjin?” I shout

“Yes love?”

I blush unintentionally at the sweet nickname, “Is everything okay in there?”

“Yes, I’m just admiring how good your fashion is.”

I giggle to myself, and my phone goes off so I check it.

Sister-in-law:

How’s it going?

Did you kiss yet?

God, Cynthia is going to be my ultimate demise if she keeps asking questions like that; doesn’t she know it's a fake date?

Pearl:

It’s good and no we haven’t kissed yet because it’s a fake date!

Sister-in-law:

Whatever

Is he as good looking in person?

Pearl:

Yes

Even better looking!

Sister-in-law:

Are you in love yet?

Pearl:

Fuck off

I'm putting my phone away now

Sister-in–law:

No!

Don’t be like that!

“Love?” Hyunjin said giving me a fright.

I clumsily shove my phone back into my bag and look up. Hyunjin looks really good in beige, especially with blonde hair.

The black roses in contrast with the beige are so beautiful, the blazer has a pocket on the breast, and he’s not wearing a button-up this time but instead a black t-shirt.

“Do you like it?” I ask keenly, walking up to him to help flatten the lapels, reaching forwards without hesitation, both of my hands on his hard chest lightly moving the lapels, I smile to myself; extremely happy with my work. He’s wearing the loafers, they give him extra height that isn’t necessarily needed since my arms are already at neck level reaching out for his chest.

I didn’t even realise he was looking at me until I looked up because he didn’t respond.

I didn’t realise we were that close.

We are really close.

He’s looking down at me with a look on his face that I can’t quite distinguish and his lips twitch slightly.

I become flustered looking into his eyes for too long so I move back quickly.

I just invaded his personal space without asking or warning him.

I clear my throat, “Sorry,” I say looking down at my feet, and stepping back.

“I really like this one” He lets out in a low voice, and tilts my head up with his large, and temperate hand bringing me back closer to give me a warm smile, “why’d you pick this one beautiful?”

I try to find the right words, but it seems they are stuck in my throat. I know why I picked this one, it’s because he said he likes flowers; I thought he’d like it because of that.

“Why so quiet love?” His honey-brown eyes are miraculous, they look like they're shining, sparkling under the bright changing room lights and his blonde hair with his tanned skin is stunning. All humans should be born like this. Who wouldn’t be speechless being within this proximity with someone so breathtaking?

“I picked it because you like flowers?” I say it as if it's more of a question.

Unsure.

But I know that’s why I picked it.

“You're right.” he smiles, “I do like flowers, do you know why?”

I shake my head coyly.

I don’t know, but I want to.

“Because I’m a fool for beautiful things.” His eyes still haven’t left mine and I feel my body getting hotter by the second, “maybe you can be one of the things I’m a fool for as well.” He says it like a statement.

So boldly.

So confident.

I want to change the subject, I don’t like being put on the spot like this. I don’t like not knowing how to reply.

“Hyunjin, go try on the last suit, please.”

I say please because I need him to go, because I don’t think I can handle being part of this conversation any longer.

All he does is nod and smile walking away and I’m left still standing there confused, if my heart beats any faster I’m going to have to go get a check-up.

This is not normal, my hands are clammy, my whole body is flush and I’m a bit breathless.

I think I’m getting sick.

I sit back down on the chair and wait a little longer for Hyunjin, I still feel like I barely know him and I don’t know what I want to know about him.

I know he does this for work but does he go to uni still? Does he have another job? Does he have any siblings or pets? He’s older than me so it could be a possibility we went to the same school, he could even know my brother. After all, they're the same age.

I can’t stop being curious about him.

“Pearl, I’m coming out. I think you’ll really like this one.” He practically sings.

Speechless.

This is what he’s going to wear, he has to.

Elegant and luxurious; this is the one.

Black pinstripe Saint Laurent tuxedo jacket, black wool perfectly tailored, it has leather peak lapels and padded shoulders that enhance the double-breasted front, and on the front breast pocket is a gold Saint Laurent symbol.

The trousers are plain black and a skinny inky belt adorns his hips, the low-cut shirt he’s wearing hangs just below his collarbones and for the first time drawing attention to the delicate gold necklace he has on. The slightly heeled boots he has on just pull the outfit together even more, giving a classic, timeless look.

He should really consider being a model.

“Yes!” I squeal, clapping my hands together, “Hyunjin! This is the one!”

He chuckles at me, and puts his hand out to grab mine pulling me from my seat, “Shall we get this one then?”

“Yes! Let’s get them all, Hyunjin!”

He sighs slightly, “Why don’t you come up with a nickname for me?” he asks in a disappointed tone and his ever-so-swollen lips slightly pout?

“Huh?” I ask confused by the sudden question.

“Well, I am your boyfriend right?” He says in a matter of fact tone.

Fake boyfriend I want to say, but he is right, ‘couples’ should have nicknames for each other and he’s always giving me ones.

“What should I call you then?” I ask, slightly tilting my head.

His face lights up, “Anything you want,” he shrugs.

I think for a while going through the possibilities, I'm not bold enough to use honey bee, babe or baby.

It wouldn’t sound right for me to say that.

“Hyunnie or Jinnie?” I question, not completely sure on either.

His eyes widen and I start to think he doesn't like them, “I love it, I love them both!” He says as he engulfs me in a hug.

“Jinnie, careful, I nearly got makeup on your suit and we haven’t even bought it yet!” I laugh and place my hands on his chest, pushing him away from me playfully.

“You’re right,” he chuckles, “that would truly be unfortunate. But you know what, beautiful?” he asks, his hands still on the back of my waist, holding my body close to him. He leans down, face mere centimetres from my face, and whispers “I’m sure we can find a dry cleaner to get it ready until the dinner with your parents.”

“Jinnie!” I scold him, both of us starting laughing. Looking up at him, I love the way his blonde hair contrasts the black elegant suit. However, I unintentionally frown, remembering the most important detail I forgot until Hyunjin mentioned the Saturday dinner.

“What’s wrong?” he asks with a head tilt, seemingly concerned about my sudden change of expression.

“What are we going to do about this?” I ask, removing a stray strand of hair that found its way on Hyunjin’s forehead.

“What, the hair?” He removes his hands from my waist and brushes them through his haircut, restyling it.

“My father is a bit… conservative, so to say. He doesn’t really like crazy colours.”

“Oh, is that so?” he smiles.

“Mhm. Whatever. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter.” I wave my hand around, trying not to overthink it too much.

“If you say so, beautiful.” Hyunjin grabs my hand before noticing the abandoned red carnations on the cream leather seat I sat on minutes earlier. He runs away quickly to grab them, then hands them to me, as he did a few hours ago when we first met.

“Thanks.” I smile. “I would’ve been really upset if I forgot these.”

Facepalm.

No way I just said that out loud.

“I mean-” I start, trying to correct myself, but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to care that much, as he raises a hand to stop me from speaking any further.

“Can you wait a bit while I change?” he asks. “I won’t be long.”

“Yes, of course.”

True to his word, Hyunjin takes only a few minutes to change, and I decide against going back to the chair. The heels I’m wearing are thankfully not as uncomfortable as they look, so I don’t mind waiting for him in front of the dressing room.

“All done.” he opens up the curtain, holding the three suits I’ve chosen for him neatly folded on his arm.

“Shall we go pay, then?” I smile brightly, truly proud of myself. The suits look just too good on Hyunjin not to get all of them.

We both head to the checkout and the lady behind the register compliments our choice of clothes, her eyes never leaving Hyunjin. I can’t blame her, though. Every time I look at him I feel like I’m having a cultural reset. His beauty is ethereal.

After we leave the store, I get this weird… sinking feeling in my stomach, as I realise that our date is almost over. We’re going to walk our separate ways now, and see each other in two days, which isn’t a lot, so why does it feel like it’s so far away?

“So…” I start, dejected. “I’m glad we got to know each other better, Jinnie. I guess it’s time we-”

“Go shop for your clothes.” Hyunjin smiles mischievously.

“Sorry?”

“It’s your turn!” he grins. “Your turn to be my model.”

“Oh,” I reply, confused, “No, that’s okay, I wouldn’t want to take too much of your time… I have a lot of clothes at home.”

“No fair!” he whines like a little kid, which makes me giggle a bit. “You got to dress me up, why don’t I have the same liberty?”

“Hyunjin, we’ve already spent many hours together. Aren’t you booked for another date later?” I reply with reason, noticing a slight frown between his eyebrows.

“What do you mean, Pearl? What other date? You’ve been mentioning that for quite some time now. I’m on a date with you, and I don’t want to go home just yet. I want to spend more time with my girlfriend. Why can’t we go shopping for you as well, hm?”

His answer takes me by surprise. He said everything in an almost arguing tone, truly seeming upset about this whole ordeal. My stupid mouth mentioned the fake date as well, again, and this really seems to anger him.

“I mean, we can, but… are you sure you aren’t busy?”

“I’ll never be busy for you, beautiful,” he says, making me blush.

However, I can’t stop wondering if I should’ve just pushed harder to go home. This is probably what he says to all dates, and hopes his fake girlfriend of the day will just let him go.

This is a job for him, after all. If I worked, I imagine I would think about going back home all the time.

Hyunjin and I head towards the escalator and take it to the Second Floor, where the woman’s section is located. He is the one who leads the way this time, as I’m shily looking down at the red carnations in my hand, their petals a bit withered by now. I furrow my brows thinking about them withering away, only a distant memory of this date remaining.

“You should press them when you get home. Do you like them that much? I would’ve bought you a bigger bouquet if I'd known.”

“Huh?” I raise my head, surprised once again that he noticed the source of my downheartedness so quickly, without me saying a word. No one in my life ever paid as much attention to me, not even my nanny, and it was her job. Well, this is Hyunjin’s job as well… but still, how observant can someone be?

“I’m not sure how to. I’ve never done it before.”

“Really?!” his eyes go wide. “Wow, okay, I’ll teach you. We should video-call later and I’ll show you.”

“Okay.” I chuckle, the knot in my stomach feeling tighter than ever. It’s not like he’d actually video-call me. Once the date is over, and until Saturday, we’re no longer bound by a contract, or by me paying him, so he wouldn’t have any reason to waste his free time chatting with a random stranger who hired him to be her arm candy.

Hyunjin takes me to a large elegant store on the Second Floor, and I quickly notice I haven’t been in it before. I only come to Harrods when Cynthia is in the mood to buy some new clothes, but I rarely, if ever, buy anything myself. I normally have people taking my measurements and bringing me catalogues where I pick what I like, and that’s it. No struggles going to the dressing room and trying 100 different things on.

Although not gonna lie, it was very fun to do it with Hyunjin earlier.

He goes directly to a shelf on the right side and picks an extremely elegant and beautiful pearl white satin dress that is scrunched around the waist with a one-shoulder neckline that would fall on my left side. There is a deep split on the right leg, and it has a short train.

As if he knows exactly what he’s looking for, he skillfully moves around the store until he finds his next target: a beautiful two-piece beige below-the-knee-length dress. The top is a tight-fit diamond shape with a halter neckline, and the skirt once again has a split but this slit is high and looks as if it would reach just at the top of my thigh, this time on the left leg.

Does Hyunjin have a thing for splits? I wonder, laughing in my head while he rummages the store for a third dress.

“Are you going to pick one for each look I’ve chosen for you?” I ask curiously.

“Of course, how else are we going to match on our next dates?” he grins while browsing through a row of black dresses.

“Aha! There it is!” he says, pulling out one beautiful raven-black satin dress that looks like it shines under the shop lights with a V-neck that plunges deep and spaghetti straps. This dress seems to be long, cutting off just at the ankles, and looks so elegant, I can’t wait to try it on. “Exactly what I was looking for!”

“Really?” I chuckle at his excitement.

“Beautiful, let’s see how these fit you.” Hyunjin grins, balancing the three dresses on one arm and grabbing the back of my waist with the other.

We head towards the dressing room and I step inside, letting Hyunjin arrange the dresses nicely on the hanger.

“The white one first. I’m gonna quickly run and get some accessories, so don’t hurry,” he says, grabbing the big dark brown curtain and arranging it so no one could see anything from outside.

“Got it,” I say, starting to undress, “Wait, Hyunjin?” I shout, hoping that he didn’t leave just yet, because I had a big problem.

“Yes, love?” he peeks his head through the curtain.

This fucking nickname.

“Uhm… do you think you could…” I grimace a bit, parting my hair to the side and turning my back towards Hyunjin.

“Oh.” he looks aside for a short second and I almost notice a red tint on his cheeks. “Sure.”

Damn, Cynthia for picking out this dress with the long-ass zipper!

Hyunjin comes so close to me, I feel his breath on my neck, and as he places one hand firmly on my shoulder, I can feel his thumb grazing the skin on my nape.

Suddenly, the air feels too hot and stuffy, and I barely breathe.

He pulls the zipper down and stops just above my behind, and I feel vulnerable with my whole back exposed. It’s the first time a man has ever seen so much of my skin, and I am feeling really conscious.

What if there’s a pimple on my back?

What if my position is weird?

Can he see my weird birthmark?

Does he think it’s ugly?

Instead of letting all these insecurities show, I just let my head down and mumble a quick “Thank you,” Hyunjin isn’t pushing it, and leaves me alone in the dressing room as soon as he’s done, with a small nod of his head.

At least we both seem embarrassed.

Now that the zipper issue is solved, I am able to undress with ease. I grab the white dress as instructed and pull it over my head, and as soon as it falls on my shoulders and settles on me, I can’t help but think Damn.

It looks amazing. The satin is hugging my waist beautifully, and the colour compliments my skin tone so well. I can’t believe Hyunjin was able to guess my size on the first try, and find this masterpiece of a dress.

“Love? Can I open this?” I hear his voice from the other side of the curtain and see the pattern of a hand gripping it up.

“Yes, I’m all dressed,” I reply.

“Wow.” his eyes go wide as he looks at me.

“Is it that bad?” I chuckle jokingly, as it’s quite obvious I’m looking like Aphrodite herself right now.

“Fuck” he mumbles, placing his fist over his mouth. “You look heavenly.”

“Thanks.” I smile. “What do you have over there?” I point to the small shopping bag in his hand.

“Oh. Right. I got you these.” he says as he pulls out a pair of blue satin gloves that look elbow-length, the same colour as his suit. He follows with a pair of navy blue high heels with an intricate silver flower design all over them, more focused on the heel. The third item he’s brought me is a small pearl white clutch with a golden chain to hold.

“Wow, Jinnie, these work so well together!” I praise him, and I almost get an urge to pet his hair, which I barely contain.

“That’s not all. Look, a pair of earrings for you…” He opens up a small box where sapphire and diamond dangly earrings beautifully sparkle under the strong light of the dressing room. “... and these.” He opens up another box, revealing two silver couple rings, a small blue sapphire at the centre of both of them.

“Oh, God. These are so beautiful…” I pull out one ring and place it carefully on my finger. It’s the perfect fit.

Was he able to size up my hands while playing with my fingers earlier?

“I’m glad you like them.”

“We definitely have to get all of these.” I smile, impressed by Hyunjin’s refined style.

“The two-piece is next. Be right back,” he says after helping me place everything in the big shopping bag provided by the store.

I again do as instructed and put on the two-piece dress. The diamond-shaped top exposes my shoulders and back modestly, I love the way the fabric of the beige skirt hugs my hips, and then falls down freely on my legs. This time as well, the split is not too high up on the side of my leg to make me uncomfortable, on the contrary, it's on the front, and I find myself once again admiring Hyunjin’s fashion style. He perfectly combined beauty with comfort.

Hyunjin returns once more really quickly and takes a few moments to admire the fit.

“So beautiful.” he smiles, and gives me a pair of black chunky, platform high-heel shoes with a thin strap on the ankle and a small golden buckle much like his chunky loafers, a black trapeze bag held by a large gold bulky, thick chain, a pair of golden twisted hoop earrings and a set of dark beige Tiger’s Eye bracelets with golden chains.

He really does like rocks.

“I absolutely adore how all of these look,” I tell him excitedly, feeling just a bit dejected that he didn’t bring any more couple rings this time. “We’re keeping all of these as well!”

“That’s great.” he chuckles at my excitement. “Then try the black one on, please.”

The black satin dress is the one I’ve been looking forward to the most, as it’ll be the obvious choice to go with Hyunjin’s Saint Laurent black suit at my parents’ dinner.

Of course, Hyunjin’s amazing taste doesn’t disappoint this time either. The fabric hugs my body in all the right places and loosely flows at the bottom in contrast to the tightness around my bust waist and hips. The open neckline makes me wonder what type of jewellery he will pick to go on with this dress.

I find out quickly enough, as he returns breathless to the dressing room.

“Okay.” he smiles. “Try these on.”

He gives me a pair of black open-toe sandal heels, and I’m surprised to notice that they will go with his suit perfectly, being made by the same design. Instead of a regular heel, these shoes have the Yves Saint Laurent logo in golden letters cassander heel featuring an adjustable ankle strap. The black bag with the golden chain he gives me is Yves Saint Laurent as well, and it seems he truly wants us to be matching not only the clothes, but the brand as well.

He then gives me a thin gold bracelet with small diamonds all over, but the accessory I love the most is a golden necklace. Well, I don’t necessarily like it the most because it’s beautiful. It’s because Hyunjin picked two of them, making us once again match, which got my heart racing badly.

“These clothes… Jinnie, they’re amazing. You’re amazing. We will look so good together on Saturday!” I smile genuinely.

“Mhm. The clothes are okay, but they’re just that. Clothes. You’re the one who makes them beautiful, Pearl.” he replied, looking straight into my eyes through the large mirror in the dressing room.

How is someone supposed to reply to something like that? I don’t know how, so I change the subject, “I’m going to get changed then we can go pay for these.”

He just nods unenthusiastically, looking slightly dejected.

As I’m getting changed I can’t help but think about the look on Hyunjin’s face.

Yes, some girls who hire him may be lonely people who want a boyfriend, to be serenaded in love and affection. I, however, am not lonely—maybe a bit touched starved—and do not all need this affection he is throwing my way because it’s very confusing, especially when the person is so calm and handsome.

I do not need someone tainting my future life with delusions just because they are nice to me.

Shit.

My dress, the fucking zip.

“Hyunjin?” no reply.

I start to panic, “Jinnie?”

“Yes?”

“Urm… I need your help?” I say it almost as a whisper hoping he’ll hear it.

I watch as long fingers, adorned with beautiful rings delicately wrap around the curtain pulling it slightly ajar, barely able to see just a sliver of the side of him.

“Love, is it your dress again?” he says ever so softly,

I fidget, trying to find the words because this situation is extremely embarrassing. I wonder how many times he’s had to do this for other girls. Although, he did seem embarrassed as well. What happens if I’m the only girl who decided to wear a dress like this to go shopping in? I hope he doesn’t think I did this on purpose.

Why am I thinking so much… I wasn’t even supposed to be shopping.

“Yes, can you please zip it up please?”

“Of course.” He says and he steps into the changing room, his hands that were once on the curtain are now on my hip and the other is on the zip.

I pull my hair to the side to give him better access to the zip at the top, but I can’t help that this feels somewhat domestic.

Intimate.

I need to get my head out of the gutter, this is not intimate nor domestic, this is simply what needs to be done otherwise I’ll be stuck half-naked walking through the shop with no jacket to cover up the huge gaping hole at the back of my dress, which is not a good look.

I notice the warmth of his hand leave my hip but the imprint of his large hand is still there and I can still feel it.

I’m basically letting a stranger zip my dress up for me, I remind myself to get the stupid thoughts of intimacy out of my mind. This is absolutely insane.

“Done,” he says in a whisper and I shiver once again; this feels intimate.

“Sorry,” I mutter under my breath.

“It’s fine love, can’t be helped, right?” he tells me with a soft chuckle.

I just nod, picking up my bag, and it seems like my touch has summoned a phone call.

I turn to face him and smile awkwardly and he nods indicating to pick up the phone.

“Yes?”

“Pearl? Where have you been all day? Did you not see my messages?”

I let out a heavy sigh, “Seungmin, did Cynth not tell you I was out with my boyfriend today?”

“Your boyfriend who you ain’t told anyone about?”

“Yes. My boyfriend.”

“Where are you?”

“Harrods” I let out with a sigh.

Hyunjin looks at me, eyes swirling with curiosity. I just smile at him, trying to let him know that it's nothing worth being interested in.

“I’m sending a driver to pick you up now”

“No-”

“Pearl I don’t care what you say, I can’t believe you even kept this from me for so long!” He was quick to hang up before I could get another word in.

How frustrating!

I shot Hyunjin a look with apologetic eyes, “My brother's sending a driver here, I’ve got to go.”

Hyunjin looks a bit downhearted and his thick lips twitch downwards, something that you’ll only notice if you pay enough attention.

But I did pay attention, and I saw that.

He’s gone extremely unanimated apart from the slight crinkle of his nose, in contrast to before and my stomach clenches lightly seeing that cute pout on his lips, even if it was just for a second. But deep down I know he’s probably happy to have finished his day of work, and this is all part of his ‘fake boyfriend’ act, now I feel sad.

Hyunjin composes himself quickly standing straight and bringing one of his hands to brush through his golden locks, “Ah okay, well let me walk you out?” He says it as if it’s a question, as if I wouldn’t want him to.

“I’d like that.” I smile genuinely, all the excitement drained from now as I know this is over.

I bend down to pick up some of the bags in my other hand that isn’t occupied by a big bouquet of carnations, but before I can even reach out to it Hyunjin has already picked it up.

“My girlfriend shouldn’t be carrying heavy things”

I smile as I see he’s come back from his fake sad act, but now he’s back with the fake boyfriend act. It’s better at least, so I decide to play into it, just to humour him, “Oh, is that right?”

He smiles at me and grabs my hand lightly intertwining our fingers, “Of course, I wouldn’t want my lover to have callus hands, now would I?”

I laugh and unconsciously play with the rings on his hand while we’re walking to the exit, the sinking feeling in my stomach only grows the closer we get, and I can’t help but wish we were actually friends. I'd love to get to know the real him. Not the fake boyfriend version.

We stop outside and I see him looking down at our hands with a smile on his face, eyes almost sparking. That’s when I notice my fingers playing with his rings, I jerk my hand back and curse myself out internally, “Sorry” I say and avert my eyes to look at the busy streets, its nearing dark now and the sky is painted in a beautiful ombre of pinks and orange hues, a colossal flock of seagulls flying, making the whole scene playing out in front of me look like an intricate tapestry that has been done ever so carefully.

I’ve never looked at my city like this, I’ve never had the time to be out and just relax. I’ve never had time to look into the little things in life, but when Hyunjin is around I seem to be picking out, noticing, and magnifying everything. Maybe his presence does that, he seems to be a very complex, and closed-off person but also very good at observing others. When someone is complex it’s natural to have to look into details further.

I see the black Mercedes Benz S-class getting closer and closer, reminding me how this is ending and I will go back home.

It stops in front of us and I smile at Hyunjin, “It was really nice meeting you today…thank you for everything, the flowers, agreeing to do this and I’ll see you Saturday?”

His hand reaches out to me and wraps around my waist, “Of course, I’ll see you Saturday, let me put your bags in the boot.”

He is such a gentleman, after he’s done putting the bags into the car he grabs my hand and walks me to the door and presses a soft kiss on my cheek, then opening the door for me, letting me get in, a blushing mess as my driver had just seen that.

“I’ll see you Saturday, beautiful, message me when you get home.”

I nod and wave him off feeling a strange feeling, he doesn’t actually want a message when he gets home, he’s just putting on a show for the driver.

I sigh and look down at the beautiful carnations slightly withered.

Would Hyunjin call me like he said and show me how to press the flowers? I’m unsure…

Uncertainty is the plague of the mind and right now I'm more confused and uncertain than ever, no one and I mean no one has ever made me feel so unsure in my life.

~

Independence comes in many forms, or so I have just learnt.

Volunteering to carry my shopping bags up a staircase that is ludicrously way too big for any house; unfortunately, that house is my house. Wearing heels that are slightly uncomfortable the whole day and not asking someone to carry my shoes as I change into flats, because apparently I was too enchanted by an Adonis of a man with a svelte toned body. But now I'm back in the comfort of my own home, my feet are throbbing and my chest heaving from walking up those stupid stairs.

I flop down onto my bed and think about how my life has come to this, lying and scheming to prevent a loveless marriage.

“Pearl!” An excited screech can be heard through the door along with the clambering of feet slapping on the wooden floor. I glance in horror at my closed door and hope to God I’ve just imagined my friend’s voice shouting my name, for I am tired as fuck and frankly a bit disappointed about having to go home instead of spending more time with Hyunjin

“Cynthia?” I ask almost lifelessly, seeing my best friend’s figure slamming through the door. As always, Cynthia has no regard for my personal space, so she jumps right next to me in bed, making me close my eyes in slight frustration.

“What’s wrong, did you come home with blue balls?” She grins.

“What? No!” I playfully slap her arm and turn my back on her, signalling her to unzip my dress. I then get up and march over to my walk-in closet, taking off my dress and changing into more comfortable clothes.

“How was the date? Spill it out.” Her dumb grin doesn’t leave her face while she asks this. She’s lucky I love her.

“You mean fake date!” I whisper, aware of the still-open door. Cynthia rolls her eyes as I sit down in front of my vanity and start wiping off my makeup. “It was… nice, actually. He’s a really great guy, you know?”

“Who’s a great guy?” a voice behind me speaks, startling me: my brother’s.

Seungmin is standing in front of my room, his right shoulder supported by the door’s frame, and looks at me and Cynthia with a serious expression.

“My boyfriend, of course.” I roll my eyes.

“I’ll ask this again - the boyfriend you didn’t bother telling anyone about?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re official before telling you and our parents. Besides, Cynthia knew about him.”

Seungmin raises his eyebrow again and eyes his girlfriend, who avoids his gaze like the plague.

You’re such a bad liar. I think while looking at her as well, hoping she won’t blow my cover.

“Anyways, now that I’m basically forced into a MARRIAGE,” I accentuate this last word, hoping to get a reaction out of Seungmin. “I have to force things to move faster than I would’ve liked, and to bring my boyfriend to the freaking dinner so our parents can observe him like he’s a poor caged animal in a zoo. Imagine that.”

“Pearl, I know you’re upset…”

“Upset? Upset doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I’m feeling, Min.”

“Look. As much as I think our parents are exaggerating, they come from a good place. Minho is a nice guy, as much as he can seem like an asshole.”

“Pfft. Right. Seem.” I scoff.

“I’m serious. He’s a good guy, he’s hella smart and if you marry him you will get to live a very good, stress-free life. That’s what our parents want for you.”

“But what about what I want, Min? Isn’t that important as well?”

“Of course it is. That’s the most important thing. But isn’t a good life something you’d want? Minho would give you that, and more.”

“What I want is to be with someone I love. Cynth, back me up!” I look at my friend who’s been staring at us ever since the conversation started, her body sprawled on the bed, head supported by her hands.

“I have to agree with Pearl on this one, baby. Minho is a good guy, and I bet they’d get along great-”

“Hey! Whose side are you on?” I cut her off angrily, my face all messed up with the smeared black mascara around my eyes.

“BUT it’s also important that she actually likes him before getting married, don’t you think?” She continues without minding me. “If she has a boyfriend she likes, wouldn’t it be more fair to stay with him instead of marrying someone she doesn’t like?”

Seungmin seems to consider a bit more what Cynthia said, and that annoys me to no end. Why does he regard her opinion on this matter more than mine - the person who would essentially have to suffer at Minho’s cruel hands?

“Remember, it’s me who’s getting paired up with someone on our parents’ will, not you. You were able to choose to be with someone you actually love. And I want to have the same choice. Is that really so absurd?” I try to reason with Seungmin, who simply nods.

“Okay. I’ll try and give this nameless guy a chance. But if I think Minho’s the better choice, I will 100% tell our parents that as well. Hopefully, you picked a good guy for yourself, Pearl.”

With that, he leaves and closes the door behind him.

“Fuck you Seungmin!” I shout, angrily standing up and grabbing a pillow from the bed, throwing it to the door.

“Hey, don’t be so nasty. He’s your brother.” Cynthia chuckles.

“He’s stupid. Arghhhh, why doesn’t he get me?!” I pout.

“He does, but he has this bad habit of thinking that what he believes is best. He does love you, you know? And he’s kinda right… Minho is perfect for you.” She shrugs and then suddenly straightens her back. “But enough about Seungmin and Minho! Back to what we were talking about! How was the date? Tell me everything.”

“Cynth, it was… really good.” I smile brightly, remembering Hyunjin’s fingers playing with mine and forgetting almost instantly about Cynthia’s dumb comment. Minho is perfect for you my ass.

“Someone’s in loveee~” she sings.

“No. No way.” I shake my head. “It was a fake date. But he’s such a gentleman! I’ve genuinely never met anyone like him before! And he paid so much attention to me. And you were right, he likes red. He even got me those red-”

I suddenly get interrupted by a loud sound coming from my phone.

“Oh, my God. Cynth. It’s him.” I look over at my friend, and her grin grows bigger than ever. She’s like the Cheshire Cat.

“Who, your not-so-fake boyfriend you’re totally in love with?”

“Shut up. What do I do?!”

“Answer, obviously!”

“But I’m so ugly! I look like a raccoon! Why the heck is he face-timing me?!”

Oh right. The flowers. I mentally slap myself in denial that he actually remembered and wanted to teach me how to press them.

“Just answer!” Cynthia urges me.

“No! I’ll… call him back later!”

“Pearl, if you don’t answer I will.”

Cynthia stands up and comes over to me, trying to grab the phone from my hands. We fight over it for a few seconds, before it stops ringing.

“Pfiu.” I exhale, relieved. “Okay. He hung up. I will just take my make-up off and call him back. Is that okay?” I look at Cynthia, hoping for encouragement.

“You pussy.” She rolls her eyes.

The phone starts ringing again, making me freeze in my place.

Why is he so insistent?!

“You better answer this time. I bet there won’t be a third.” She shrugs and leaves the room, giving me space to talk.

Shit, what if she’s right? It probably won’t be a third one if I avoid his call again.

I reluctantly press the green button on my screen and wait with my heart up my throat for a few seconds until the call connects.

“Hey!” Hyunjin smiles, as beautiful as ever.

“Hi,” I reply, glancing at how weird I look with half my make-up off, the other half smeared on my face awkwardly.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No… I was just removing my make-up, that’s why I look so…” I pause, trying to find the right words to describe my fucked up appearance.

“Cute?” He giggles.

“No. Unappealing.” I reply, feeling my cheeks grow red from his compliment.

Why can’t I get used to this?

“Oh, please, you could never look unappealing. But do take off your make-up. You should clean off your face to avoid any clogged pores. Do you have a cleanser or make-up remover at hand?”

“Yeah. Sure. I do.” I chuckle, a bit surprised that he cares about something like this. Most guys I’ve met don’t even know what water on their face feels like, I bet they’ve never heard of cleansers. “Should I call you back?”

“No, I’d much rather watch you take it off. Why don’t you put me in front of you and pretend you’re filming a vlog?” Hyunjin grins from ear to ear, as if he had the best idea in the world, and I play along.

I place the phone against the mirror and glance directly into the lens, starting to talk.

“Hello everyone, this is Pearl. Welcome to another episode of ‘Life with me’, today-”

“Wait, why don’t you call it something like ‘Life undersea’? It would be fun.” He laughs.

“Did you just mock my name, mister?” I raise an eyebrow playfully.

“I would never.” He says mouth agape with fake shock.

“Anyways- welcome to another episode of ‘Life Undersea’! Today we’re taking off my make-up! First things first, we’re going to use my favourite cleanser - Beauty of Joseon Radiance Cleansing Balm. Look how pretty it is.” I grab the white packaging and show it around to the camera, opening it up. “It has such a rich, buttery texture. I’m simply in love with it!”

“Wow, you’re a natural.” Hyunjin laughs.

“Thank you.” I smile and bow.

“You’re welcome, beautiful.”

“Uhm… so… you apply it like this…” I stumble on my words and curse myself a bit, once again way too aware of the effect his mere words have on me. I find myself chanting “He’s a fake boyfriend!” inside my head over and over again, as if it would somewhat help the redness in my cheeks.

“I love seeing you so flustered.” He smiles kindly, while I’m battling myself inside.

“Shut up.” I brush him off, continuing to take off my make-up. Instead of being upset, he just grins.

“Okay pretty, what’s next? You’re filming a vlog, remember?”

“Oh, right. I have to go wash my face now, but I can’t take you to the bathroom, unfortunately. You’re going to have to wait here.”

“I’m waiting.”

I rush to the bathroom and throw water on my face at least 10 times, then I grab a microfiber white towel and wipe it off gently.

When I return to my room, Hyunjin is still there, looking down at what seems to be a book.

“I’m back.” I sit down at the vanity and curse myself again, this time for other reasons. I think about how I shouldn’t have said anything, and just let him do his own thing while admiring him for a while, before he noticed I returned from the bathroom.

“You know what? You’re beautiful with make-up on, but your bare face is even more stunning. I’m going to fall in love with you at this rate.” He chuckles.

I shouldn’t have taken off my foundation. He’ll definitely see the blush on my cheeks.

“So, are you ready to learn how to press flowers?” He continues, leaving me no time to reply to his past compliment. My mind is however still on his words.

I’m going to fall in love with you at this rate.

Fuck. How can he say that so easily, when my heart is beating this fast?

“Yes, I’m ready. What do I need?”

“A few books and some newspaper would be ideal. Well, you don’t necessarily need the newspaper, but the petals might stain the pages, so if you don’t want to ruin a perfectly good book, I’d recommend getting one as well.”

“Okay. Uhm, I don’t mind ruining any books, though.”

Especially if the petals would stain it - that would be even more meaningful to me, having a permanent memento of our date inside the book, even if the flowers are gone.

I don’t say that, however.

“Okay Jinnie, I’m back with the books. Are these okay?” I show them unsure at the camera, worrying that they are too small or too big.

“They’re perfect, beautiful. Now, pick a book inside of which you’d like to press the flowers.”

I look at whatever books I’ve grabbed from my bookshelf, and pick a small Japanese book titled “Convenience store woman” as my subject. I find it kind of fitting, as I’m able to relate to the main character of the book. I, too, am a bit unconventional to my parents’ dismay, and the way I view the world around me seems to disturb everyone else to no end.

“Now, place the flowers neatly between the pages, like this.” Hyunjin shows me the way he placed one single red carnation flat on top of a page. “Then close the book as carefully as you can, so as to not disarrange the flowers.”

“I think this is right…” I say, after struggling for a good 2 minutes with closing the small book. I should’ve picked a bigger one.

“And all that’s left to do is weight it down. Just put all the other books on top of this one and wait for a few weeks, then you’re done.”

“That’s it?” I ask, surprised.

“That’s it.” He giggled.

“Wow, I can’t believe it was so easy? I’m a bit dumb in your eyes, probably.” I chuckle nervously.

“No, Pearl. It’s okay to not know things and to learn them from someone else.” He smiles kindly. What he said makes butterflies grow in my stomach. I’ve always been a perfectionist, preferring to do things alone and learn on my own. This is certainly new, and it’s not even the first thing he’s taught me. I also learnt that shopping can be fun. All of this in just one day feels a bit overwhelming.

“I guess so…”

“You’re so stubborn.” He chuckles again. “But that’s one thing I like about you.”

“Are you going to flirt with me the whole call?”

“Yes.” He replies with a serious face, and I take a moment to appreciate how beautiful his blonde hair suits him, strands falling gently along his cheekbones.

“Okay.” I smile. “Thank you for today. Really. I had a lot of fun, and it’s great to learn new things.”

“I’m glad. I also had fun.”

���What will you teach me next time?” I pry.

“Hmmm. I’ll think about it.” He looks directly at the camera, and I get butterflies once again.

“Should we go to sleep?” I ask reluctantly, not really wanting to end the call. However, it is pretty late, we stayed out way longer than I thought, and I am super tired. Also, Cynthia will most likely come to bug me about the date and ask for every detail of this call, so I should get a head start and prepare.

“Mhm. We should. See you Saturday?”

“Yes. I’ll text you the address.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

“Good night, Jinnie.” I smile and press the ���End Call” button with a sigh.

I really wish that when I get a real boyfriend, he’d be at least half the way fake-boyfriend Hyunjin is.

---

(A/N) Long chapter, but we hope it was enjoyable!

Reference pictures for the outfits they've shopped for below

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Storm + Orgel

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Part One | Part Three (coming soon)