#Sasori dead

[kaqzu]

Since I don't like to wait or make people wait… I'll end this quickly.

[sockori]

hey

[yowyowyaoi]

*Sasori wakes up very suddenly; he’s laying flat on a table and above him are bright lights*

Sasori: What the —

Deidara: S-Sasori? Can you hear me? Can you see?!

Sasori: *sits up slowly* What … happened? I was fighting my grandmother and some Konoha brat, and the last thing I remember is everything went black …

Deidara, choked up: Y-you died, Danna. You’ve been dead for over a year …

Sasori: I have?

Deidara: Yeah. I spent so much time reading through your books, your notes, figuring out how to regenerate your core and put you back together … I didn’t think I was ever going to bring you back, hm!

Sasori: Dei …

Deidara: So much has happened since you’ve been gone!  Some Konoha brats and Kakashi of the sharingan killed Hidan and Kakuzu. The nine tails jinchuriki killed leader,  Konan’s dead, Uchiha’s little brother did him in …

Sasori, overwhelmed: Oh my god … 

Deidara: Kisame and Zetsu are still alive, but, well, they hang around the new leader a lot …

Sasori: New leader? Who —

*Obito comes around the corner, mask off*

Obito: Ah. I see all of your experimenting has come to fruition. Welcome back, Sasori.

Sasori: … who are you?

Deidara: Obito. Er, Obito Uchiha. But you probably remember him as Tobi.

Sasori:

Sasori: WHAT.

Obito, speaking in Tobi voice: That’s right, Sasori senpai! I had you allll fooled, didn’t I?!

Obito, in his own voice: Deidara, fill him in on our plans for world domination.  *leaves*

Sasori: So let me get this straight. Most of the people I actually liked in this group are dead. And the one we follow now is the unstable moron in the mask? 

Deidara: Oh, none of that matters, Danna! Now that you’re back you and I can get married like you always promised! Get married, start having kids, and —

Sasori: Pull my core back out. NOW.

Deidara:

[coycorry]

- There is a bitch in the trunk of our car, dead as a disco and…

- You want some coffee?

- Sure.

Another deisaso drawing I did for sasodei week 2023. Is it just me, or all akatsuki really fits perfectly well into pulp fiction universe. I would love to see some more mafia!au with them in this setting, I think it could be something really fun to watch 🤣🤣

Anyway, two partners in (gay)crime drinking coffee inside of totally not «dead bitch storage» house.

Enjoy!

[mixelation]

AU where instead if recruiting Deidara, Obito just hops in as Sasori’s partner. The Sasori-Tobi dynamic is literally just Yzma and Kronk

[ao3dorian-gay]

any character who transforms themselves into something immortal is trans coded to me

[mistletoeandarrows]

The Sun Gives Life (to Everything but Us): Chapter 5

Happy spooky season! I'm excited to share this update for the occasion. Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Sasori/Sakura

Summary: A vampire over two centuries old, Sasori has accumulated enough wealth and power that life has lost all excitement; even the sweetest blood can no longer ease his ennui. He returns to Japan only to meet a fiery young courtesan named Sakura who proves otherwise.

Preview:

Sakura felt like she was hovering above her own body as her parents led her down the sun-dried pathway. They were greeted with murmurs of praise from dozens of guests from her village, a few of their estranged relatives smiling at them.  The crowd parted to reveal a man facing the torii gate. He wore a formal montsuki woven from fine black silk, a fan tucked in his left hand that matched the color of his hair. The moment they made eye contact, Sakura forgot how to breathe. Sasori...was her groom?

Read Chapter 5 on AO3

[orcelito]

Ok I'm thinking about kabuto backstory again and thinking about how unfair and fucked up it all is like

> be Danzo

> threaten local orphanage mother into returning to being a spy (by threatening the kids there)

> force them to send One Kid too because he "lost a man" while obtaining the intel he's threatening her to spy over (the kid is Kabuto, who volunteered bc he overheard them threatening the mother over this) (Danzo knows he overheard)

> train kabuto to be a spy while orphanage mother is off on her long spy job as well

> bait spy mom with the promise of keeping kabuto safe to keep her agreeing to work with you

> decide they both are too good at their jobs (????) Of being spies (that work for you?????)(they've been loyal this whole time????) So they're too dangerous and both need to die

> keep mom and kid away from each other as kid grows up

> literally DOCTOR FAKE PHOTOS of the kid growing up to make it seem like he looks totally different now???? So she won't recognize him?????

> give her the assassination assignment of killing the Real Kabuto (who she won't recognize) so they'll kill each other

> whoops, Kabuto survived and killed her instead, oh well at least Orochimaru's watching him now

I'm just like. How fucked up is it to threaten these people into working as spies for you "for the good of Konoha", and then decide that these people (who have given NO INDICATION of intending to betray Konoha) are too good at being spies and thus Too Dangerous and should be killed for it. But no he can't just kill them in a normal way. He had to manufacture an entire scenario so that they'd kill EACH OTHER while making the mom not recognize him (with the express purpose of breaking the kid's spirit) like BROOOOOO I know you ordered the whole Uchiha clan to be massacred (conducting genocide for the sake of 'peace') actually now that I think about it he ordered this of itachi. Ordered him to kill his own family. Of course Danzo would get off on making a mother and son kill each other "for the good of Konoha" he's almost fucking cartoon villain level of horrible past the point of logic EXCEPT there really are people this awful that have existed. Plenty of them. And they have also justified it as being "for the good of [nation]" like that's the Thing, he's a war hungry nationalist that has decided He Knows Best so he's going to fuck up SO many people's lives, up to and including his own damn citizens!!!! And this bitch thinks he deserves to be kage?!?!?! Fucking Hiruzen letting him run wild like this. He knew Danzo was stealing children and indoctrinating them into a murder cult (where, keep in mind, he purposefully raises kids in pairs so they view each other as family AND THEN ORDERS THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER)(AGAIN!!!! with the family killing, what is his PROBLEM) but Hiruzen just let it fucking happen. Spineless fucking piece of shit. He fucked Naruto up he fucked Orochimaru up he fucked up Royally with Danzo like come ONNNNNNNNNN

Rattling the bars of my cage rn at how awful Danzo is and how he was able to just. DO THIS???? I know the bitch is dead but he's not dead enough. Give me the glock.

[kit-cosmic]

They have me by the balls

Bonus:

[justanotherblonde]

Year of the OTP (1)

Hard Truths by JustAnotherBlonde

Chapter 1: A Conversation on the Grass (AO3)

prompt: january | "whenever i look at you..."

kicking off my @yearoftheotpevent with a bit of banter between my OTP, Sasori and Deidara (Naruto)!

Rating: Mature, for no particular reason yet, but we'll see where the next eleven chapters take us...

Tags: Canon Universe, YOTP 2023, Year of the OTP 2023, ye olde eternal vs. ephemeral debate, Canon Age Difference, Conversations, Dialogue, an exploration of my OTP, Puppet sasori, Canon Compliant, (in the beginning), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (towards the end), Other Additional Tags to Be Added

[sharkfinx]

“ Is called basic courtesy. No wonder there’s so much hate among all of you....”

[renaerys]

so we worship the ground both Ino and Sakura walk, but do we love them together?? (I personally do, I think of all the “developed” dynamics in the manga/lasting relationships it could’ve been the best for both of them ngl)

So I had the honor of beta reading an InoSaku for a friend in a writing server I’m in and like…yeah. I get it. My damage I think is there are so many good dicks in Naruto that it’s choice overload, but we should namaste for a hot second and realize that InoSaku is actually galaxy brain. I’m into it. The art is also fine as hell.

[dragonfruitsoup]

on sasori the local cryptid

see, the joke about this is everyone thinks he's a cryptid just because his hut is so hard to find. and like, yeah, true, you're right. but also, even if you find his hut, there's an 87% chance he's not even there.

he got his sketchy spooky reputation because he went and joined a fucking mercenary group. even little puppet gremlins need to make a living somehow.

you hike all that way out there, manage to find the actual building and avoid his traps and he's not even home. no note on the door saying when he'll be back. no water source to even get you back home. nothing. will he be gone for three days or three months? who knows! when did he even leave??

most people don't even think he's real at this point. or think he must've died years back, and his ghost is just haunting the sands out there. it hasnt even been two full decades, and he's already the warning tale mothers tell their children to keep them from leaving the walls. (how no one's claimed him a missing nin yet is anyone's guess. the fourth clearly has his hands full...)

[evilkitten3]

#true true#also Kisame is polite (to an extent) and i think he could have become a normal and friendly guy if raised right

the only naruto character who could function irl is kankurou. he would immediately charge right into bunraku and never look back. everyone else would be absolutely boned tho

sick of konan being written as the only sane one in the akatsuki. the lady thinks her bestie is an actual deity and she somehow found the time and energy to make six hundred billion bombs for the purpose of killing a single guy who helped kickstart her terrorist organization bc she thinks he's a bit sus

the only sane one is kisame

[astralix]

Sailor Scorpio's Tags

Answers

〖answers〗♏ 『answers from limbo』

Chat/Dashboard Commentary

〖chat〗♏ 『chatting with the dead and the living』

Ic replies

〖replies〗♏ 『trials in the underworld』

Aesthetics

〖aesthetics〗♏ 『intense beauty of planet hades』

Musings

〖musings〗♏ 『truthful confessions』

Quizzes & questionnaires

〖quizzes〗♏ 『pursuit of true results』

playlist/soundtrack

〖soundtrack〗♏ 『requiem of spirits』

Character tag

〖sasori kishi〗♏ 『scorpio venom topaz power makeup』

journal/prose/story

〖story〗♏ 『writ with bones』

Shipping headcanons

〖shipping〗♏ 『alizarin red painted lips』

Nsfw

〖nsfw〗♏ 『partial lunar eclipse in scorpio』

Headcanon

〖headcanon〗♏ 『crowned princess of hades』

Verse tags

Main verse

〖main verse〗♏ 『neo queen hades』