#STELLA IS FOREVER MY CAP

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[waybeforeyourtime]

Felice, you perfect angel.

Edvin wears sunglasses so well.

Okay, going with the school closing. Happy about that.

tbh I don't know the difference between Henry or Walter but they both don't know how to read a situation and stfu.

These are the most irresponsible adults I've ever seen in my life.

Felice, I would've told those 2 to go fuck off after how they talked to you!

The football field :(((((((

Love Rosh and Ayub go with them!

I could not control myself with the Wille stare.

Wille really is an empathic and compassionate person.

Well, I believe August, but let's extend that apology to Simon, as well.

YES, SARA!! That's what I'm talking about. You can have feelings for someone and still not be with them. Make yourself a priority.

YES, FELICE!!! You told the truth!

Fuck Stella and Fredricka.

Nils, seriously. That's how you come out?! lol drunk dumbass

I'm actually worried about August at this point. I really never ever thought I'd be in that mental state. But here I am.

Their sad faces are just heartbreaking.

And Edvin has looked so much older this season, but not when they are walking to the lake. He looks like a baby.

SOBBING RIGHT ON MY IPAD.

Oh so the mean girl lesbians get their happy ending.

The song is just okay (don't hate me). But looks like it lit a fire under babygirl's ass!

He's going to accounce he doesn't plan on becoming King:|

I just thought - I wish we wore graduation caps. lol We did.

They gave August a frog O_o

There's 13:39 seconds left here. My hopes are not dashed.

Malin's like, I'm ready to cover your ass if you want to run after him.

Felice, you're selling Madison short here. Give her a chance. I think you, Sara, and Madison would make a great trio.

Give it to August! DO IT!!!!

Edvin, serious acting here again. I can see the relief in your eyes in this scene. The tension leave your body. Wow.

The sun in his face!!! <3 August, you are going to regret this.

It's not about Simon, but Imma gonna run down a ride after him. lol these dumbasses I love them so much.

I'M GRINNING SO HARD RIGHT NOW MY CHEEKS HURT!!!!!

WILMON FOREVER

I do wish Madison was with them - it wouldn't have made sense at all storywise.

I'M GOING TO WATCH THOSE LAST 8-10 MINS SO MANY TIMES UNTIL IT BURNS INTO MY EYELIDS.

[munamania]

ok everyone i watched lemonade mouth and do revenge tonight. i wanted to share my notes from lemonade mouth or at least the highlights. (edit from later jk i posted nearly every thought soooo sorry) not much to say abt the other one it was okay. lemonade mouth is my baby though

wen is such a hater

queer as hell movie

i like that this movie doesnt talk down to its audience it's still silly but it treats each character like a full person and it's earnest

flashes into their lives to get to their destiny to meet. i heart storytelling

TURBO BLAST.

'use your voice' ok dyke. sounds like jo maskin

'this is the underground (in all caps)' oh this is so rife with queer pleasures

principal brennigan.... what does this say abt society.....

this is so like gay club queer joy i know a place moment fates colliding queer utopia

music is everything adn everything is love btw

none of the girls are in competition for any of the guys and in fact are arguably queer coded. i mean overall obv the group is

showing the power of queer joy

like MUNA

random little commercial jingle was so catchy

people that have known and paid attention to each other forever and challenge each other to be their best selves through their very existence soulmatism. olivia and wen btw

WEN IS SUCH A HATER LOSER

dynamic lighting <333

'just because you cant see the agony doesnt mean it isnt there' ok gayass

'i could start a revolution' broccoli close up. hilarious theyre just fuckin around

naomi scott brings a comfortable bisexuality to her characters. me when im just saying shit

SOMEBODY.im gonna kill myself.

HAYLEY BG VOCALS OKKKKKKKKK

'or cher' get his ass mo

stella is a true action forward activist im obsessed with her. she and hazel callahan bottoms should team up and rig the school with bombs

lemonade mouth is such a sincere true inside joke for a band name they are all so lovely. theyre my losers club

Determinate. Get determined! Revolution

bridgit mendler egot when

'i like when you smile' theyre just giddy weirdo soulmates

taking away pride?????????? (lemonade)

corporate buyouts. capitalist ownership and what that entails

control

wen who cant deal with change whos living in honor of his mother's memory and his sense of idealistic family and those rigid definitions and olivias odd broken family and beautiful unconventional relationship with her grandmother and opened up raw vulnerability that she tries to protect but exudes in her songwriting largely inspired around and by him

adult babies. ok

FAGGOT BRENNIGAN!!!!! sorry

idk if this is a strange observation but it's relieving that it's not a huge deal for the boys to go in the girl's bathroom to be supportive and lovely to their friend

lemonade. symbol of hope revolution pride also fruity

i used to live and breathe for mo's little bass shimmy

disability representation ayo

mo's back vocals okayyyyyyy also the little dance!!!!

distributing lemonade to the masses!!!!!! proletariat comrades!!!

why r they literally revolutionaries im screaming

'political tirade' 'complete'y disruptive' slayyy

'decisions i make are for the good of this school' ok fascist

flagging

Dante's pizzeria -> HELL!?!

'maybe... we do matter' 'of course we do' ok yippee gay people <3

shes so gone... i just felt so understood

naomi has such a beautiful voice. the naomis should combine naomi scott produced her own shit it would be sooooo cool

olivia being forced to accept her full grief for her mother

friends are everything btw

seeing things in the clouds... natural human inclination to find purpose in everything

'i wish my dad would ignore me' REAL. it's complicated

dad in prison - i feel like they didnt touch that sort of thing often on disney idk maybe sometimes

BRIDGIT IS THAT GIRL.

more than a band. love and community and god in other people

these are my bestest friends btw

'im not pretending to be what im not for anyone anymore' ok gayass

they are such DORKS <3

MO SLAYING EGREGIOUS CUNT IN ALL THE CHAOS

theyre all so linked together in fate and time

oh bridgit is about to slay so immensely shes amazing

bridgit mendler school of acting

gabe saporta ass outfit stella has on

THEYRE FIGHTING COPS WITH EACH OTHERRRRRRR

music center of the universe and love

theater kids <3

okay that hug made me cry

'that is the limpest wrist fist bump i have ever seen' - lydia (about charlie and his brother)

there was some coming out to your family in that hug

fucking good lighting

lemonade mouth school of acting

fucking up that guitar i cannot lie im obsessed w that performance of determinate at the end it makes me cry every time and also that guitar is soooooo

this guy is cooler than steve harrington yeah i still just have stupid beef with that stupid fandom

kiss on the cheek is so sweet <333

he brought her a kitten. he brought her a kitten. he brought her new life/a feeling of rebirth of coming into yourself and just living. not perfect but okay. they could do peeta and katniss who will follow you to your ruined home and plant a garden there. i threw my pen across the room and screamed over this btw.

SHE MET MEL LEMONADE MOUTH

queer utopia

faghag pair

charlie = afycso, naomi scott ~ dianna agron, wen ryan ross pretty odd outfit

okay goodnight <3

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

[libidomechanica]

“Put her fear, look out-flourishd phosphorus on in walls of other”

A limerick sequence

               First Stanza

With crispèd hair, first hygienic measure up. Put her fear, look out-flourish’d    phosphorus on in walls    of other running wheel roun’, an’ I saw ane an’ twenty, Tam!

               Second Stanza

Than they han fatte kernes, and down, and her least call not hear in the voice tells to    reason; these have seen—and    she notes, disease? The world be it up for me, so I would fail.

               Third Stanza

To have had, and kiss, what she wast Oake. After some from her women comes thought    came; all his arms, with the    booth I wanted dart, and dry, or none e’er comes against my walls?

               Fourth Stanza

The tender flowery honour’d ill. Out over the door, or astronomer,    I will conversation    sweet ane an’ twenty, Tam! A dreadful night cheap hotels, st.

               Fifth Stanza

Or if thou art made into roses, the trumpeted, as thou see. Now you    move or magnificent:    how, each of us every highway too black-eyed monstrous debt.

               Sixth Stanza

On my little plaything like thing with cold, calm kiss and let the Bow of the    rooks went yesterday three    were some feeling your tender flowered low: as Earth forever.

               Seventh Stanza

Which thou had been told in masquerade; and heard prowde, the trees were four, on pain    of man was great matters    downe, and could, in chisell’d though prosperous are one price of bliss!

               Eighth Stanza

Who fell, and my Leipsic, and other. Still, and but in your eyes; a love good-    bye. And concomitant    at they stand and the brave him what your ears, the lords of those whom?

               Ninth Stanza

So lustless sublime, follow learn’d it, but say it. If it is his mind the    twilight gleams, glimmering    t is it? As stand by authority, as if a glutted.

               Tenth Stanza

And a stratagem, thou would swagger, sweates from fright defect,—for every    words not yet; but then? Come    things nothing is brown? Were said no and the straggling curl shower.

               Eleventh Stanza

You, time for the bed. Should disappoint over it beareth thys hyll thou speak    well be, for weathers are    made of Cyrus, be not one time it will—the remember fall.

               Twelfth Stanza

By insist whilome all live most essence? And let you the pride the grave, and    further and a recipe    he’d call’d, since I am! Back to time, dying miracles?

               Thirteenth Stanza

Rather than my memory to retreat! They could, in full meaning the gloried    in low proudly thrust    into wood, faire necke a fin of moonshine at my Muse and wine.

               Fourteenth Stanza

Sacred dirge is neighbouring Scotch Earl of Giftgabbit had English influence    slips through seldom from    the lyric sound of a valley call to mind his cups divine.

               Fifteenth Stanza

Of me unaware, that wardes the world should be cloth. From the closet crept,    for one monster while in    the unbroken in pain an honour, had joys of abandon.

               Sixteenth Stanza

Yet a lamp-lightingale sings, except for other. Stations bothers of    our. The warm, flush’d, shut up    in a fond flyes, that, that least her sleep, and me, if I should grieve.

               Seventeenth Stanza

So well; join the close cap and feather, soon when he had beauties do the good,    so vain her flowers sweets,    after all one skin, her head and rather good, some takes his death.

               Eighteenth Stanza

Next to my foes, the tribe what taste her towers. Since Reasons self in Stella,    loadstar of voice shower.    Nor do wrong, and once we are wafted abroad, all else by arms.

               Nineteenth Stanza

It gets difficult to sit up for both make there warm white and in a coast,    he strike the Lion’s hilles    height me in the cloudy sweet days she talks. He choir’s amen.

               Twentieth Stanza

Which, being sickle’s compose no face, but Juan’s ear, what is so much morn did    smiles. All shiver and clean    starlight savour’d of my fingers, asleep. That would his enemie.

               Twenty-first Stanza

My sun after darkness round Love’s statue with thy fate, nor light, alone. Is    a differently o’er-    press’d; the Mansion foul, save theme just escapes, we all go forward.

               Twenty-second Stanza

Turning scales, as Goteherd prowd that roam over a March-wind blossoms of    Greeuance. Be hypocritical,    shower, wha for to no condition. Censer old, okay?

               Twenty-third Stanza

Tossing the answer: his dear! Left it: still her face, Sudden spark struck vainly    Aurora look; possess    what he might does not two except thus to a hundred-year sleeps.

               Twenty-fourth Stanza

Which now hath a holy has heard think that I leave, so longed to no continuous    lie in beautifully    quiver? The her too— their buried. The family vault receive!

               Twenty-fifth Stanza

Noblest Charis, you knowing in purple and still. Whole off shoes is heard old    Algrind of hypocrisy,    on pain my arms. So he restrain; sure, from the wife o’ mine.

               Twenty-sixth Stanza

A bachelor—of arts, and brick. A straggling great clymbers he past; for sought to    proved him what you out the    ways seem one tower, the retire, i’d try conclusion.

               Twenty-seventh Stanza

Broad leave the old dames less than anything tack. It is a lady or pursuits    the kindled therefore    him to scoured the briar? Also the fate of purer joy?

               Twenty-eighth Stanza

Or on the way a stone stirringofbirds wants bothers samphire, ’ through the rose,    and weeks have to St. Listening    for Death rattlin’ sang, an’ gar me looks immortal dreamer!

               Twenty-ninth Stanza

And I have loves me! Pounce upon this Morning coy, she spake to stands the blessing    die, and brake the soil    hath ceased to spy or senates seemed enormous city’s spread.

               Thirtieth Stanza

When will not seen, the deep sorrows given to lassitude, then, confess’ whence    ye see dispensed to see    his way, he gain’d with horrid selves in the lamplight, alone! It.

               Thirty-first Stanza

The Minstrelsy: a virgins might now better note. And then better pride, save    us sometimes I burn    and mylde, well eyed, as people riddled. Like occasions: the leaves.

               Thirty-second Stanza

Nay, you know—two women come near with the grown wearing open and half to    the very same and they    han great mansion. The Soul of this title to place, he country?

               Thirty-third Stanza

Juan yet quick and smile upon my bosom is that they should devise some of    the year and he’llsay not    err. Whether heard you and translated my imagination.

               Thirty-fourth Stanza

Broad through the bow, and on our backs, the windshield—and I have been together!    Is what blest spher e d    course the sways, would not the fire, transported, and there’s Whitbread?

               Thirty-fifth Stanza

Space, but slip of legend—’if you the mind until their smile upon her eyes!    It should have her throat untied    a kerchief, crying of this hearing in another dell.

               Thirty-sixth Stanza

No utterable time has this be as good example thing best parade    was the same: the coverlet,    died from the gain’d. The man had so they may never roome more.

               Thirty-seventh Stanza

Was announced, without that head: with an ever. Hands have seen by more fun of    mossy green. A special    jury of my dizzy head. He apple, quince, and say take it.

               Thirty-eighth Stanza

—An old song of some virgin of moonshine owner, with all Exchequer change    in their smile of containing    frowne. That choleric and chaste would invent with love of hell.

               Thirty-ninth Stanza

Now this world composed to another’s. Though sometimes, unless yours years departure    fix’d on mutability,    noble, rich attire creeps rustle to doubters do.

               Fortieth Stanza

They are they loves the doors the plane is departure facing the paine, for heave    but stay, whether hearse. I    ride in me can teach, the indentures also in less polish’d.

               Forty-first Stanza

And when the places of silent said itself than got a falterian.: And    the world anyone ever-    fixed becometh dumb; the lamps do duty unto her lord.

               Forty-second Stanza

Which I thoughtless my mother. They talk’d on my backed hands, feet, Stol’n to the primrose    or will not had broughted,    to see and lie with the sun sank or found him what you now.

               Forty-third Stanza

Let us go then, and more gaily clear his pass, for others. For kissing    to coarse effect—to make    full strong tree when them one that she passion bleeding tear. Good Saints!

               Forty-fourth Stanza

To hear heard or for fear she dream for which brings from town, viz. In Moore’s phrases    so he region clouds and    he not care, and whose two poachers; their fear. The bridge,—that the wall.

               Forty-fifth Stanza

Stella is sink and simple she earth, Belovëd, dost three, judging his wide    whites showing, as if he    shore. But my Muses upon a garden and could not by art.

               Forty-sixth Stanza

Let us go and largely display in a steady applied at me to    cloath so soft! Shade by doing    to another deceived whole summer, the thirteenth fair St.

               Forty-seventh Stanza

Mind I pray there and tall, would blushes greenest won? The traveller; every    words tho gan to pleasure.    I know that summer, thus to a tax-trap—I have not the left.

               Forty-eighth Stanza

But this I’ll blythely began to remover to faces in the water,    came over the air    in walls of Kent? The night, aimèd with thy Gotes should I presume?

               Forty-ninth Stanza

They seem strange their bodies, praying. And, and thou, who, after that are weak in    body and fell thee young    Bacchus drains, let me forsook the saloon, how can it bear it.

               Fiftieth Stanza

And transferr’d thanked him. Of happier men bene long banqueteers have one    of other shoe. Bent, full    of their several arts of the woman. And this toil and rare.

               Fifty-first Stanza

When I’m with the secret as shadows on the bloated wassail’d where: they neede    hem caren foolish old    man? Numb were young, keep that of force their weedes bene annoieth.

               Fifty-second Stanza

What sits upon her sigh’d. Follow of Revenge for the bed a small gear to    everywhere! I loved as    old sayd she, my chiefe care sweating along thee hence!—Well-a-day!

               Fifty-third Stanza

Began to come to sleeping jellyfish. No, no, go not changeable, beneath    a war of lies. But    all the cause? And should shut up annals so brimful of good sex.

[megsmulti]

16. "How about you come and help me out, yeah?"

Prompt comes from this list. It will get a little smutty, so if you don't like that, then you can skip that part.

---------------------------------------

It was just another normal day at Firehouse 51. That was until Blake Gallo came bursting through the common room with a flyer in his hands.

"Guys," Everyone looked up at him. "You will not believe what a friend of mine from Firehouse 90 told me about. He said that they signed up for this thing called the Firefighter Muster," looks were exchanged all across the room, "and I didn't know what he was talking about, so he gave me this flyer. It seems like a series of competitions. We should do it guys, it sounds like fun!" He had a huge grin plastered on his face.

"We know. We've done it before," Mouch said from his spot on the couch.

"You have?" Gallo's never heard this story from anyone before.

"Yeah. We did it a few years ago," Stella said. "It was a bet that Mouch made." She glared at said man in the process.

"We won, didn't we?"

"Not until Brett saved our asses with that pole hang!" Casey's head shot up in intrigue. Stella smirked.

Sylvie tried to downplay it, but Cruz was not helping. "She hung on to that pole like she was fighting for her life!"

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you hang on a pole, Cruz. See how hard it really is!" Sylvie retorted. Joe was agape, while everyone else was laughing.

"Well, if it's a competition, I can drag a dummy like you wouldn't believe. I'm in," Violet said, changing the subject. Gallo was excited. He can vouch for Violet as he’s seen her do it at that training course they had to attend a year ago.

"Hey, anybody's better than Cruz," Herrmann said. Joe raised his hands up. What was this, pick on Joe day? he thought.

"Maybe I can do another event this time. You know, expand my horizons a bit," Sylvie said.

"While that may be a good idea, I think you should do the pole hang again, Brett." Sylvie glared at her best friend. She knew exactly where Stella was going with this. "Come on, you did so great at it the first time and not everyone was there to see you win, if you know what I mean." Stella nodded her head towards Casey, winking at Sylvie.

It took a few minutes, but Sylvie gave an answer. "Oh, what the hell? Why not?" Everyone else agreed to take part in the muster, especially Stella, because she was competitive in her own right and there was an event suited for each of them.

---------------------------------------------

"So, the pole hang, huh?" Casey asked with a smirk and raised eyebrows when he walked into his and Sylvie's apartment after shift.

Sylvie groaned. "Shut up!” The tone in that sentence was playful. “It was already embarrassing the first time I did it. I can only imagine what it's going to be like now."

“The muster itself is pretty embarrassing.” Sylvie shrugged in agreement.

“Did I tell you that I was originally going to do the dummy drag?” Matt shook his head. “I was dragging the practice one that we had all around the firehouse, but I think it was a blessing in disguise that Cruz took my place, even though he got second.”

“Second’s better than nothing.”

“Not according to Mouch. We only participated because he bet against some firefighter he knew and he wanted to win so bad. Thank god we did.”

“Yeah, Stella said you saved their asses.” Sylvie looked at him.

“I was already on the pole before they noticed me. Cruz and Mouch were my biggest and loudest cheerleaders, along with Hope.” The latter received an eye roll and Matt couldn’t blame her for that one.

“Well, this year, that will be me.” Sylvie widened her eyes. “As a matter of fact, I’ll lead that cheering squad.”

“In that case, I’m gonna need all the practice I can get.”

“But, you won though.”

“Yeah, but I slipped a little bit. I want to have a perfect hold this time around and I need to practice in order to achieve that. How about you come and help me out, yeah?”

“Ok. We can go to the academy tomorrow and use the poles there to help you out.”

“We could, but that’s not what I had in mind.” Matt furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What could his girlfriend possibly be planning for her to win this thing?

All of a sudden, Sylvie jumped into his arms and held onto him like a koala bear was hanging onto a tree for dear life. He finally understood the assignment. “Oh. I get it now. You want me to be your pole?” Sylvie nodded. She then kissed him and he wrapped his arms around her, both of them in that position for what seemed like forever. Clothes were being torn off and the kissing would not stop.

They finally made their way to the bedroom, Sylvie still in the koala position around Matt. When they reached the bed, they finally came up for air. “You’re definitely gonna win this again. For sure.” Sylvie just smiled in response before kissing her boyfriend again.

“Well, you make a really good pole.” Matt laughed and they never spoke words again that night. He had to admit that this method of practice was way better than the one he suggested. In fact, he’s kicking himself just thinking about it.

——————————————————————-

The day of the muster finally came. Everyone that signed up for their respective events won. For a bit of a recap, Violet creamed some guy from 33 in the Dummy Drag and Stella aced the obstacle course no problem. All that was left was the Pole Hang and the Tug of War to cap the day off.

Surely enough, when it was time for Sylvie’s event, Matt was front and center cheering the loudest out of everyone, just like he said he would. Sylvie could only smile at how much of a dork her man was being, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s only fair that he did so as she was cheering when he and Severide won their team event against Grainger & Rutledge.

Turns out, all the practice that the two of them did leading up to this ended up paying off as she not only won, but achieved her goal of a perfect hold as well. The minute she slid off of the pole, she ran to Matt’s wide open arms and hugged him. She couldn’t have done this without his support along the way from the weird practice method they used to his loud cheering. If she’s being completely honest, this was the best muster she’s ever experienced.

[alittlextrathatway]

Wow that's a lot of prompts! I've gotta go with #20 from the general list: “Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?” and I think this could go GREAT places with Brettsey =)

“Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

******

He’s an idiot.

A totally shitfaced drunk idiot.

He stood there and watched some other guy, an Engine Lieutenant in fact, flirt with her. And she flirted back! She smiled at that...interloper in a way she hasn’t smiled at him in over two weeks.

He used to make her smile like that. Those used to be his smiles.

And now she was giving them to someone else.

Because he’s an idiot.

An idiot who can’t answer a simple question that he’s actually already answered twice before. He could say no directly to Gabby so why couldn’t he say no when Sylvie confronted him with the same question?

And why does his chest ache at the thought of her smiling his smiles at someone else? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? Or stop wanting her? Why was giving her space, like she asked, so damn hard? He’s usually very good at respecting boundaries but the idea of there even being a boundary between him and Sylvie threatens to break him into tiny little pieces.

He huffs and puts his lowball glass in the sink, taking a pull of clear alcohol straight from the bottle.

“Is that vodka?” Severide asks, as the apartment door opens. “At 7 in the morning?”

He holds up one finger, pointing at Kelly to correct him. “No, it’s vodka at quarter till 8 in the morning. If it were still 7 we’d be on shift and I would still be able to catch a glimpse of Sylvie. Not that it matters, she’s got Lieutenant 40 to smile at now. She sure as hell doesn’t need me and all my fucking baggage.”

“Oh good, drunk Matt’s here,” Severide says sarcastically. “And bitter drunk Matt at that. Where’s carefree drunk Matt? He’s more fun.”

“Carefree drunk Matt does not exist anymore because carefree drunk Matt never would have told Sylvie he didn’t know if he’d leave with Gabby should she ever ax—aks—ask.”

Damn, that word was much harder to get out than it should have been. How much of this vodka has he had? Did he even look at how full the bottle was before he started drinking?

“Wait,” Severide says, brow crinkling in thought. “That’s why Dawson’s an issue for Brett? She asked if you ever thought you’d leave with Dawson and you said I don’t know?”

“Yeah, remember? I told you that.”

“No, you didn’t, you friggin idiot.”

“Hey! Only I get to call myself an idiot!”

“What?” Severide asks him with a bewildered glance.

“I was berating myself earlie—you know what it’s one of those you-had-to-be-there things.”

Kelly takes the bottle and puts the cap back on. “No more vodka. You don’t need to be any more of a dumbass than you already are.”

“What does it matter? You didn’t see her with this guy today. She smiled. She smiled my smile at this tall dark haired charming Lieutenant who doesn’t have a messy shared history with her and would probably say something more forthcoming than I don’t know when asked an imtorp—important question,” Matt tells him, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s over. I lost her before I even had her because I’m an idiot who’s very good at letting things go. The people I love just slip right through my fingers every fucking time and the worst part is...I let them. Because I’m an idiot loser who will spend his life married to the job.”

“You can say all of that but you stumble over the words ‘ask’ and ‘important’?” Severide asks him, arching a brow.

“You missed the point.”

“No, I heard your point. I just chose to ignore it cause it’s completely stupid,” his friend replies, clamping a hand down on his shoulder. “So she flirted with one guy. Big deal. You have plenty of time to turn it around. Screw your courage to the sticking place, man! Fight for her.”

“You read Macbeth?” Matt asks in shock.

“No, Kidd made me watch Hamilton.”

Matt snorts and chuckles. “That makes more sense.”

“Go sleep off the vodka, Case, and then when you’re done brooding pick your ass up off the floor and fight for her. She can only slip through your fingers if you give up...so don’t.”

“That’s easy for you to say with your serious committed relationship,” Casey scoffs.

Kelly sighs and scrubs a hand over his face, chuckling bitterly. “Stella’s decided to stay with Brett for a while so I don’t know that my relationship is any better off than your nonexistent one.”

“What?” Matt asks, head snapping toward him in surprise. “What happened?”

“Turns out, I’m a dumbass too,” Severide admits, patting Casey’s shoulder. “I’m just not wasted at quarter till 8 in the morning.”

“Plenty of vodka,” he offers. “I’m happy to share.”

“No thanks,” Kelly says with a grin. “I appreciate the offer, buddy.”

“You gonna fight for her?” Matt asks.

“With all I got in me. Stella’s the best thing to happen to me, maybe ever. I handled something badly, but I’m not letting that one mistake blow it all up. I love her and I need her. I just have to make sure she believes that,” Severide says with a pensive look on his face. “However long it takes, it’ll be worth it.”

However long it takes…

That’s an interesting thought.

Yes, okay, he’s an idiot right now. But he doesn’t have to stay an idiot, Matt realizes. For once in his life, he can stand up and fight back. Sure, today Sylvie gave that warm effervescent smile of hers to someone else, but tomorrow…

Tomorrow, if he proves himself to her, she might give it back to him. He can earn her smiles back. Maybe it’s the vodka talking, or Severide’s contagious determination, but all at once he feels confident he can win her back. The boundary she put between them doesn’t have to be there forever.

He and Sylvie aren’t over. Not yet. He has time to fix things. It might take a while but—

However long it takes, it’ll be worth it.

[gins-potter]

Fire 9x13 Thoughts

I've seen a few spoilers for this ep and I honestly don't know if I'm emotionally prepared for this

Rillo wants to go away together? I ship it.

Donna is literally me whenever the internet goes out at my place, first instinct is to call someone else to help me

That guy is really just impaled on a tree huh?

Matt Casey in a cap is just *chef's kiss* perfection

That is a very big branch just like inside of him

So Brett's not driving anymore?

Severide, Casey, and Stella: stand together on screen

Me: ahhhhh my favessssssssssssssss, plot who? i just like looking at my babies

I already love this comedic storyline

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT DOLL?

Violet wanting to use the same name as baby!cruz is so funny tho, what a way to ruin the name forever

*gasp* Casey's corned beef is back, it was last mentioned when? the freaking pilot?

How is Kara Kilmer such a goddess?

Like literally in every single scene she just looks amazing

Sdfghjkl the standing desk is back i love it

Kylie is literally the cutest

.... whyyyyyyy does that baby have plastic tape over it's mouth?

These things are so fucked

Herrmann just casually wrapping that baby like a boss, I love it

"How did he do that?" "Five kids" accurate

Sooooo not the point but Severide is so adorable when he's confused

I'm so old I had to google what "bando" meant whatever

Oh my god Rillo is literally the cutest

Another sidenote but I love seeing Stella get a chance to shine

You know what, Ritter saw his opportunity and took it and I applaud him for it

Sylvie's little "nothing" gets me right in the heart

Eugh I just love Brettsey so much

HOLY CRAP SYLVIE WITH THAT MOTHERFUCKING KICK

We are getting so much badass Sylvie Brett this season and I am living for it

Sylvie do the kick do the kick!

Syvlie, Matt, the puzzle pieces are right in fucking front of you

Of course they somehow managed to turn this into a competition

I feel like now is a good time to remind Boden and Severide that they are not cops and do not have a way to defend themselves

They really are crazy sons of bitches

Kinda wish Stella had been there since this was her storyline after all but still a good ending

Eyyyyy Rillo got their romantic getaway (yes i know it's not like that just let me fucking have this)

Oooof Sylvie looking great in that pink jacket

I'm sorry who gave Mathew fucking Casey the right to look so good leaning up against his truck?

Holy crap he really fucking said it

I love you Greg

Asdfghjk Joe go off

Poor Joe

"you got this stella kidd"

insta tears

every single fucking time

eugh such good episodes tonight

[freakygirlie]

Walker- 1x01 ~spoilers~

AIGHT FINALLY DOING THIS BC I HAVE THE TIME. I KNOW THE EPISODE CAME OUT LIKE A WEEK AGO AND THE NEW EPISODE IS COMING OUT IN LIKE A WHILE(VERY EXCITED ABOUT!!!) AND I WATCHED THE EP THE DAY IT CAME OUT BUT I WAS BUSY DON’T @ ME.

Anyways, this isn’t like some very analytical meta of the episode, this is just me showing my love and support for it, my favorite parts, what I’m excited for and all and like a speculation of what might happen next based on the stills we’ve seen since there’s no promo :( Let’s get on to it!

~spoilers! last warning!~

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. I had such high hopes and Walker and Jared Padalecki did not disappoint! Obviously! 

The beginning scene between Cordell and Emily was so cute! Ugh made her death all the harder :’(. THAT PHONE CALL SJSSJDJHDFD AND CORDELL’S SCREAM NO. 

Micki and Cordell’s first scene! Love! I SHIP THEM SM ALREADY DO YOU SEE ME FALLING DOWN ANOTHER RABBIT HOLE. YES. YES YOU DO. Also drunk!Cordell is the best idc idc. 

I love Cordell’s parents sm ok. His mother especially. And Cordell’s kids. YES AUGUST YES STELLA. THEY JUST WANT LOVE IMMA SHOWER EM WITH ALL OF IT. Cordell and his brother’s reunion! FEELS SO MANY FEELS. AND HIS SON TOO! KSJDKJS DYING. 

WALKER GETTING READY, JOGGING, THAT SCENE WITH THE BEHIND CAP AND THE COWBOY HAT OH MY. I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO SO INCREDIBLY SEXY JARED HEAVEN!

Stella getting arrested~ # we are rebellious kids wtf are you gonna do about it.  Cordell being a total dad yes we stan. OK ALRIGHT IK HE IS A PROBLEMATIC DAD GO AWAY. John vibes(sort of?) anyone???

I love that Cordell is trying though! More angst and family drama skksksksk sign me the fuck up.

MICKI RAMIREZ IS A QUEEN I WILL HEAR NO MORE. The way she says her last name GOD. i don’t think im straight... ANYWAYS SHE IS SUCH A BADASS AWESOME QUEEN?? LIKE WOMAN MARRY ME. OR CORDELL. :)

That little crime and case thrown in between was cute. Gave me supernatural monster of the week vibes :) I liked it ALSO DAMN HEROIN IN THE CROSS. *SPRAYS HOLY WATER ON MILO* THE WAY CORDIREZ FOUGHT THEM ALL OF THOUGH!! YES!!! GO CORDIREZ. And the way I screamed ‘Walker’ when the gun was pulled on him. jsdksdsjds obviously I love him already. And yes I do. He isn’t without his fair share of issues but I love Cordell Walker already and am so excited to see more of Walker(NEW EP TOMORROW!!! in my timezone anyways)

Also the scene with Trey, Micki, and Cordell was yes! Cordell annoying his partner to oblivion, we are here for their banter(IT FEELS SO WEIRD TO SHIP A HET SHIP AFTER WINCEST AND J2 AND MERTHUR AND OTHERS FOR SO LONG) Anyways Cordirez forever. The way I ship them so much even though I know that Cordell is still grieving Emily and Micki is in a relationship! Ha! Ship troubles! I’m! fine! They are going to be such a slowburn, I just know it.

Cordell and Stella scenes made me tear up :( I am already in love with this father-daughter dynamic and cannot wait to see more! Hope they shine some light on August too!

WHY IS LIAM SO SUS? LIKE I LIKE LIAM A LOT OKAY BUT WHY DO I FEEL LIKE HE HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH EMILY??? W H Y. He’s just like a little desperate to make sure Cordell doesn’t investigate anything Emily related. IDK JUST- DSKFJKDSF

OH! GERI AND CORDELL!!! Friendship??? Old flame??? THE WAY SHE WATCHED HIM LEAVE I COULD SMELL THE PINING TILL HERE. They’re cute honestly(why do I ship Walker with everyone isjdksj) That dancing scene was EVERYTHING! MORE DANCING!WALKER. PLEASE JARED.

The last scene made me tear up and I wanted to sob. OH CROWN TATTOO! no im not crying stfu. August and Walker :’). Yes. I’m so glad tat Walker denied the job. FIX YOUR FAMILY DJKDJFDJ.

Other thoughts:- OK LOOK I KNOW JARED WAS AN EPIC ACTOR BUT??? LIKE??? SO GOOD???? HOW DID HE PLAY EACH AND EVERY DYNAMIC SO PERFECTLY??? JARED PADAELCKI YOU ARE AMAZING. How is Walker(I’m officially calling him Walker now bye) nothing like Sam??? Except for the grieving life partners(Carry On anyone???). And already I love this so much! Badassery, awesome characters, beautiful dynamics, a very talented executive producer, and a really epic director/camera person. Some of those angles were really pretty :) Also Liam and Walker’s boss is sus. I’m calling it. Thank me later. aLSO. Honestly it was very hard to like not see Sam in those first few minutes, but Jared really pulled it off and Walker bled through! And also I missed Jensen. iT IS SO WEIRD AND DIFFICULT! TO SEE JARED WITHOUT JARED! NO ONE TOLD ME IT WOULD BE THIS HARD.

Speculation/Thoughts for Episode 2:- I LOVE THE CAR ALREADY. RED FORD MUSTANG YES BABY YES. Also Hoyt? He is for sure like a bad guy or the doer of whatever crime happens in this episode. FRIENDS COMING BACK FROM LONG AGO ALWAYS ARE OK IDC. HOYT IS SUS. Are we getting the Walker pulling Micki off of a horse scene? YES HONEY YES. MORE CORDIREZ! And Stella and Walker scenes! And flashbacks angst for sure :(

Anyways I’m hyped! Can’t wait!

[softbuckismykink]

The Last Goodbye

So I read that^ and came up with a story and I started writing it... Then when I was about to post I realized opps I read the pronouns wrong... Can’t be bothered to change my story though...  so here it is... :)

Not an x-over just borrowing characters from another show. To play Buck’s ex is Clay Spencer from SEAL Team. Now I didn’t watch the show pass like episode ten in season one so I don’t know much about the character or his origin story. I’m just borrowing him cause I can’t be assed to create an O.C. just for a one shot.  If you happen to have knowledge of how military/navy works please suspend your disbelief, I did research but honestly it’s just me reading wikipedia so I more than likely have gotten the elements concerning SEAL training and other military stuff wrong. You are warned. Don’t get offended.

Another Warning: This is a Buddie fic but it includes intimate scenes (not sex) between Buck and Clay, if you are a Buddie purist, this is your warning. 

X-posted on  AO3

Inspired by a tumblr post by @theladyandthewolves​ (Sorry I forgot to add, I did the linky link thing in AO3 but forgot to add it here)

Summary: In which team finds out Buck has a husband, when said husband turned up out of a blue and asked for a divorce. 

********

We were almost beautiful A broken piece of art put on display But we were never possible Another perfect moment thrown away I know somebody out there will love you They'll be the forever we never were 'Cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time

I didn't wanna lose you Leave you with a broken heart But wherever we are, we're miles apart I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

Life is going good for Buck. He’s back at 118. His team forgave him and his best friend forgave him, and he’s on his way to forgiving himself. 2019 felt like a sucky year for him with the bombing, recovering from his injuries, the tsunami, the lawsuit, Eddie’s street fighting, Bobby’s being exposed to radiation and weeks of worrying about his found!father dying of either radiation poisoning, aplastic anemia, or some kind of cancer.  

Of course there’s no guarantee that 2020 is gonna be better, but Buck likes to feel optimistic about these things. He has to be since it feels like the rest of his found family are the gloom and loom type, so it’s his job to keep the spirits up or they’ll all fall into despair. He said as much to his team as they gather around the side of the fire truck, just having arrived for their shift.       

“No seriously look at what happened last year. I got that injury and I was admittedly surly for a while--”

“Oh you were more than surly, Buck.” Hen commented.

“Okay I was, but that’s not my point. My point was I not my usual happy self and you guys were all just affected by it. And I feel like it’s my fault.”

“Not everything is about you, Buck.” Eddie said, shaking his head, though clearly amused.

“I’m just saying, I’m on to something here because all bad luck started with me being injured last year. So this year part my new years’s resolution is to generate enough positive energy to drive away all the bad luck you guys attract.”

“Yeah right, we are the trouble magnets,” Hen gestures to herself and the rest of the crew, “not you who’s pretty much in competition with Chim for the Idiot with the Most Death-Defying Experience Award.”

“Of course, I mean Chim is still winning in that,” Buck said smugly, “which pretty much proves my point.”

“Okay, Buck. Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Chim shook his head, with a laugh.

The good natured ribbing continued until they all noticed a man standing by the entrance of the station. Dirty blond curls and a full beard, in tight henley and cargo pants, he looked out of place among the clean shaven firefighter crew but he walked inside with so much confidence that you’d think he owned the place. 

“Clay what are you doing here?” Buck asked as he walked towards the scruffy looking man. 

“Hi, Evan.” The man greeted as he met Buck half way, giving Buck a tight hug and, to the young firefighter’s surprise, a kiss on his cheek. Buck could feel the stares bore onto his back. “Sorry to drop in on you at work but I don’t have you phone number or home address.”

“You mean to tell me that years of working with CIA and you can’t even get my contact info?”

“I work as their muscle Evan, I don’t do the intelligence part.”

“We both know that’s bull, Clay. You speak six languages, you are more than just the muscle.”

“And you basically thought me five of those, though I speak nine now, not all fluently but I get by.”

“And you are still arrogant as ever.” Buck sighed, some things never changed. 

“Can we talk privately?” Clay asked when he noticed the peanut gallery behind Buck.

No. Buck thought, he didn’t really want to do this here in the station but it’s only the start of his shift and he can’t really leave so he said, “I can’t leave but we can talk inside, I got a couple minutes so it better be quick.”

***

Buck lead the man to the relative privacy that the locker room provides. It’s all glass enclosure and anyone from outside can see in but he knew his colleagues would know not to bother them or listen in. 

The moment they were inside the room, Buck turned his back towards the other man, taking a moment to close the door and gather his thoughts. Fucking Clay Spencer, six years and the man still has the ability to turn his day around, making him feel all out of sorts. Buck took a deep breath before facing his husband.

“Not to be morbid Clay, but I figured after I rang that bell the next time I’ll hear about you was when I get a death notification from a CACO officer.”

“Yeah I thought so too.” Clay admitted with a slight grimace. They were young, only 19 when they got married, but they both thought they’ll be together forever. “I mean I did promise ‘till death do us part. I always thought I’d at least fulfill the death portion of that promise. But I also thought I wouldn’t meet another person I’d want to marry again and I did. Her name’s Stella, she’s a grad student at Hudson State.”

“And now you want a divorce.”

“We were over years ago we just never got around to signing the papers for it.  I’m getting married in June so--”

“So what you figure you’d come to my place of work, greet me with a kiss like we last saw each other only this morning, not six years ago and what? Demand that I go sign the divorce papers so you could go on living your merry life?”

“Look Evan, I was an ass. Heck I still am, but I wasn’t the one who left. You did.”

“Let be real, we both know I couldn’t stay.” Buck said, because it was true. DADT was repealed but the prejudice lingers. When the instructors learned that yes Evan Spencer was related to Clay Spencer and no they weren’t brothers or cousins, well let’s just say things get ugly. “I was just holding you back. Being a SEAL was your dream.”

“And there was a time that it was yours too.”

“No, I-”  It never was. I did it to be with you is what Buck wanted to say but he knew that’s unfair to both of them so he said instead, “I did it because I don’t know what I want back then. But I what I did figure out is that I was never built for that kind of life, Clay.”

“I know. You were always too soft.” Clay commented. Buck glared which didn’t escape his husband’s notice. 

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Evan. I’m glad you never went through with the training. Of the two of us, you were always the saint--”

“And you are just digging a deeper hole, Spencer. You should quit while you’re ahead.”

“I should, but you know that’s not really my style.”

“You saying it’s mine?” Buck challenged, eager for a fight for some reason, but Clay didn’t rise to the bait.

“You’re putting words into my mouth Evan.” Clay step in closer to him, invading Buck’s personal space. “I never thought any less of you when you quit training. I was actually relieved that you did. You were so determined when you told me you wanted to be a SEAL and I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to. So much. Cause I knew it would break you in ways that I never wanted for you, in ways that would take the best part of you that I loved so much. It was why as much as I hate him, I had Dad pull some strings to get you out of your contract and discharged. I didn’t think you’d take that as a cue to walk away.”

“You think I’m fragile, Clay but I’m not.”

“No,” Clay denied, stepping even closer, close enough that Buck could feel the other man’s breath against his cheek as the SEAL look him in the eye and explained, “I treat you like you are fragile, because that’s how you treat something that’s precious. I’ll admit to that. But I know you are strongest person I’ve ever met, Evan. I loved that about you.” 

“Then why did you let go?” Buck said, his words are demanding but his tone is all but resigned.

“Why didn’t you stay?” Clay parried back, equally yielding. They both knew the answer to each other’s question, love isn’t enough to keep them together and that’s their reality. That doesn’t negate the magnetic attraction they felt towards each other.

The SEAL stepped even closer, their foreheads within a hair’s breadth of the other, as their lips slowly gravitated towards each other. Buck felt the brush of the other man’s dry lips against his own. The touch is so painfully familiar, but gone was the spark his memories insist had once accompanied such intimate gesture. Still Buck felt nostalgic and he was just about to give in and press back when he heard a knock. They sprung apart and Buck turned to the person at the door. Buck saw his best friend leaning against the doorway arms tight cross against his chest. 

“Buck, Cap wants you for the stand-up meeting.” Eddie said tersely informed Buck while glaring at the other man. “Upstairs kitchen. Five minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll be up in two Eds.” Buck nodded with a strained smile. “Thanks for letting me know.” 

“I don’t mind but you gotta hurry or Cap would get pissed.” Eddie said before walking away, but not without directing one last glare at Buck’s visitor.

“Did he just call you, Buck?” Clay asked as soon as Eddie left the room.  “You change your surname back to Buckley? Since when?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but about two years ago after the DOD finally let me back stateside, before I started at the fire Academy. Just for work and my direct deposit bank, for now. I never got around to doing it for anything else. I guess I have to now.”

“You don’t have to. No law requires it of you.” Clay made to close the gap between them again only for Buck to step back. “It would be an unnecessary hassle.”

“You are getting married, Clay. To another person. You don’t get to act possessive and ask me to keep a name I’m half way to dropping.” Buck shook his head, clearly Clay hadn’t change a bit, still one with the need possessively attach his name to everything. The sound of a ladder truck returning reminded Buck of the meeting he was called to, “Look I really need to get going. Give me your phone.”

“Evan I-” Clay started but at the firefighter’s impatient glare, he reluctantly hands over his phone. Buck quickly typed in his contact information.

“There you have my contact number.” Buck handed the phone back and turned to leave, saying over his shoulders, “I also put in my mailing address, so you know where to send in the divorce paper.” 

“Wait, Evan--” Clay called after him, most likely noticing that Buck never put in his home address. “This is a P.O. box.” 

“Where I get my mails delivered to and I know you know how that works.” Buck walked away before the other man could launch another protest.

***

“So Buck who’s the hunk of meat?” Hen asked as soon as Buck reached the landing of the upstairs loft where the kitchen is located. His crew gathered around the kitchen island where Bobby was preparing breakfast, not at all looking like they are about to have any kind of job related meeting.

“I thought we were doing stand-up meeting?”

“No that was just Eddie here letting out the green eyed mons--Ouch!” Chimney’s explanation was interrupted by Hen elbowing him in the sternum.

“You look like you needed a save so I intervened, I didn’t know I’d be interrupting something.” Eddie remarked, a touch snidely.

“You didn’t interrupt anything. Clay was just um, saying goodbye.”

“I didn’t know friends say goodbye with a kiss.” 

“Clay’s not exactly my friend.”

“Well, he’s not family not with that kiss. What is he an ex-fling? A phase? Is that why he calls you Evan?” Eddie asked eyebrows raised and suspicious.

“Yeah I wondered about that too, we thought you said everyone just call you Buck.” Chim said, scratching his head, “I mean even your sister calls you Buck.”

“Not exactly an ex. And he’s not a phase!” Buck protested, offended at the word phase. At the surprised looks that his friends are giving him for his unusual outburst, he mellowed, shrugged and said, “I mean Clay is Clay. He always called me Evan. Ever since high school.”

“Why?”

“Um, Clay didn’t like that the name Buck is short for Buckley. Some sort of caveman reason I guessed.”

“Okay so the guy is more than a fling then?” Eddie prodded, not letting the topic die like Buck had silently asking him too, with his pointed looks. So much for best friend telepathy.

Buck sighed, resigned to admitting something he has been mum about ever since starting at 118. “Clay Spencer is my husband, or rather my soon to be ex-husband, he’s filing for divorce so.” 

It took a moment for his words to sink in and 

“Wait, what the fuck?! You were married?! And you didn’t tell us?!” Eddie asked sounding a little furious.

“To a man?!” Chim added, confounded and unable to think.

“And now you’re getting a divorce?” Bobby said calmly but the twitch of his eyebrow and the way he straightened up clearly betrayed his surprise.

“Wow my gaydar’s needs readjustment,” Hen shook her head, frowning. “I just thought you were hetero-flexible not full-on freewheeling.”

His team spoke one after another, all shocked at his revelation which granted was a little unexpected coming from him, a reformed self-diagnosed sex addict who’s afraid of commitment. 

“So what happened?” Hen asked being the first one to recover from the shock of Buck’s surprising revelation.

“Between Clay and I?” Buck asked then continued at Hen’s nod, “Well we were together since freshman year, in high school. Um- we bonded over having absent fathers. I thought we’d be together forever but Clay also wanted to join the Navy like his Dad, so we’ve always kept our relationship low key-ish until DADT got repealed. After that, we said fuck it, and got married. My dad got so mad when he found out, which was more because we were only nineteen back then, not because it was so gay which didn’t help of course but yes more because we were just kids when we got married,” Buck explained trying for casual, as he sat himself in the couch. “Anyways Clay enlisted and got into SEAL pipeline program. I got in a year after him, but I had to quit, we separated, the rest they say is history.”

“So that’s why two you broke-up? Because you quit SEAL training?” Bobby asked leaning on the railing across the couch Buck was seated at. Besides the captain is his best friend, Eddie, who has a blank look on his face that Buck couldn’t even begin to decipher. 

“Um he wanted to be a SEAL and I knew I was just holding him back so...” Buck trailed off, noticing how his team look at him with pity in their eyes, “Shit guys don’t look at me that way I’m not some broken piece of glass okay?”

When the pitying looks continued, and Bobby moved as if to comfort him, Buck said, “No, seriously guys, I’m okay. I’m not at all broken up about this at all, so you guys shouldn’t be either. Me and Clay were done years ago. It’s just we got lazy and didn’t get around to signing papers until now.”

“You don’t have to put on front with us, kid.” Chim said moving on to sit in the couch beside his while Hen moved to sit beside him. “We are family, heck you are practically my brother.”

“Chim’s right, Buckaroo. It’s okay to be not okay. We won’t think any less of you if you for it.” Hen added, laying a comforting hand on his shoulders.

“I’m seriously fine. I mean I’m not gonna lie and say it never affected me or that  it didn’t hurt. Because I did, years ago when first broke up, cause I really thought we were forever. But now? I’m not even sad or anything.”

“But if you are, you know that we are here for you, right?”

“I know that Bobby. And I appreciate it.” There was a prolonged silence that lingered for  a couple of minutes as they all just looking for words to say. Eventually Chimney, as always, broke that silence with a joking remark.

“Okay but seriously how did you land some one that hot?” Chim teased Buck.

“Chim seriously?! Your bi is showing.” Hen smirked. 

“What? I’m just saying that is one beast of a man. I’m just wondering what he saw in our Buck.”

“Hey, quit it hobbit,” Hen slapped her best friend in the arm, “Our Buck here is equally as beastly looking if not more.” 

“Hen, not that I don’t appreciate the vote of confidence because I truly do, but I don’t think ‘beastly’ is a look I aspire to project you know.”

“Joking aside, did you really go through SEAL training? Did you mean like BUD/s?” Chim asked, curious about Buck’s past but knowing the younger man would rather not talk about his soon-to-be ex-husband. At  Buck’s nod Chimney asked again, “Isn’t that only for Enlisted Navy?”

“You said you weren’t in the Navy.” Bobby added, confused.

“I wasn’t, I mean not really. I mean technically I was one but only for like less than 180 days? Which meant I got like an ELS.” Buck tried explaining, only garnering more confused looks. “Entry-Level Separation. I entered the program through SEAL Challenge Contract. I got through ‘Hell Week’ at BUD/s but I DOR’d a week after that. So it was like only give or take 155 days before I DOR’d. Which was why I don’t claim to be in the Navy because I barely was in it.”

“DOR?” Hen asked.

“Dropped on request. Clay I guessed heard about it when he was in SQT,” Buck started but had to clarify again, “er SEAL qualification training. Anyways, the instructors were about to shuffle me into the fleet as an enlisted sailor, which is usually what happens when a SEAL candidate drops out. But suddenly I got an offer that the brass would waive my Navy Enlistment contract if I would agree to work as a civilian linguistic analyst attached to a joint operation between the DOD and DEA that’s based in Chile. It was an unusual offer but I figured Clay’s father who’s a retired SEAL pulled some strings. I took the offer and spent four years bouncing around between bases in South America doing translation work.”

“Wait you said you bartender’d in South America, not Schneider’d you way through it.”

“What’s Schneider’d? And when did I say that?”

“Cocaine Wars,” Bobby said as if that alone explains it but of course Evan ‘as far as I’m concerned the world started when I was born’ Buckley didn’t get that reference, so Bobby had to explain further, “Schneider is the name of the actor who is an undercover DEA agent working in South America. And you told me when you were pulling that worm out of that guy who ate a lot of sushi.”

“I wasn’t an undercover agent, I only did translation work in a black site in South America but can’t actually say that in front of strangers so I said the first appropriate thing that came to mind.”

“Bartending is the first thing that came to mind?” 

“Well no not the very first thing... um stripping was actually but that seemed inappropriate too?” Buck said, scratching his head. At the incredulous looks he is getting from his team he defended,  “What?! Bartending is believable job I could have been doing. I mean Bobby did believe it.” 

“That’s not what--” Chim wanted to explain but was interrupted by the sound of the alarms going off. 

****

“You were awfully quiet after me telling you guys about Clay.” Buck said as soon as him and Eddie were left alone in the locker room. “You barely talked to me all day too. Is there a problem?”

“No.” Eddie replied, abrupt and clearly not wanting to talk about it but at seeing Buck’s pleading gaze, he relented, “Okay I admit I was a little upset because I thought by now we told each other everything. But then I get a slap in the face and realize I don’t know you at all. I mean I didn’t even tell me you were married.  Or that you ex-husband is a slimy squid.”

“I’m still technically married. And I believe military term is frogmen not squid.”

“Well maybe  in the Navy, in the Army they are slimy squids.” Eddie huffed.  “Seriously though, Buck. Why didn’t you tell me? I mean we talked about our exes before. You told me about Abby. You know about Shannon. Heck I even told you about Alex from boot camp. So I don’t know why you thought you couldn’t tell me about your ex-husband Clay.”

“It’s for the same reason you didn’t talk about your ex-wife back when I first asked you.”

“You asked me that before we got really close. And she’s not my ex-wife, she was my wife. There’s a difference.”

“Exactly, she wasn’t your ex-wife. Just like Clay isn’t my ex-husband. I didn’t talk about him like he is my ex because he isn’t.”

“You were separated, you said you didn’t see each other for six years.”

“I know that. I know in my head we are over and truly broken up,” Buck said while gesturing to his head then he laid his hand on his chest, “But here. Well here it’s stupid, because here there’s hope. So I didn’t talk about him like he’s my ex because then it would be like admitting that it’s truly over, no takebacksies over. I was over Clay but I guess I hadn’t reach that point where my heart’s willing to acknowledge it.”

“You dated a lot after him though, that’s like more than acknowledging it. That’s moving on.”

“It’s adapting a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one at that. I had a long list of one night stands because felt rejected and needed validation. Plus I like having sex but I was determined not to let anyone in again. Then I met Abby, who made me realize I crave intimacy not sex, she made me feel safe to love again, but she left before I could commit to loving her. Which was fortunate cause I don’t know how would get over it if she left me after I learned to love her.”

“I don’t think loving someone could be learned, Buck. Either you do, or you don’t.”

“Maybe so. But my point was I didn’t talk about him cause I thought I wasn’t over him yet. And I would have when I’m ready. I didn’t know when I just knew that talking about him before that would be like--”

“Like poking an open wound.” 

“Yes exactly like that.” Buck picked up that metaphor and expounded on it. “What I didn’t realize was that wound long scabbed over. And I left it thinking that if I picked on it, it would bleed again. Only to find out today that it’s all healed.”

“What was the kiss then?”

“The what?”

“The kiss I interrupted Buck.”

“I’m not sure but it felt like a goodbye.”

“I’m not an expert, Buck, but when he kissed you it looked more than just goodbye.” If Buck didn’t know better, he’d say Eddie sounded jealous as he said, “He’s all over you.”

“He isn’t. He kissed me but I’m telling you now, that kiss doesn’t feel like it meant anything to him. Or me. It’s not like what you think.”

“If you say so.” Eddie looked to Buck tryin g to see the truth in his eyes.

“I say so.” Buck said determined as held the other man’s gaze for a few moments, before looking away and shyly admitting, “Besides there is someone else I like.”

The words linger in the air between them as their eyes locked on to each other’s yet again; and slowly they gravitated towards each other without either knowing it. Their foreheads touched, nose brushing. The moment their lips brush, Buck felt the tingle in up his spine making him slightly weak in the knees. He held on to the older man’s waist to help himself stay upright. Eddie lifted his hand to caress the back of Buck’s head as he leaned in to deepen the kiss. Buck can’t help the moan the escaped his lips. And Eddie took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue and explore the younger man’s mouth.  If it was up to Eddie it would have gone further further but Buck pulled away.

“I’m not--” Buck shook his head, trying to clear it from the haze. “I like you but you were just widowed, and I still need to get divorced.”

“Okay, but just so you know this,” Eddie said gesturing at the air between them, “this is gonna happen. I’ll be asking you out as soon as you drop the name Spencer.”

“Not if I  asked you first.”

“Fair enough. As long as I get to eventually marry you, that’s fine.”

“Sure as long as you don’t expect me to take your name.”

“Maybe I’ll take yours instead. Edmundo Buckley has a nice ring to it don’t you think.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Buck managed to spat out with a straight face. They both look at each other in the eye before laughing out loud at the name.

Fuck Edmundo Buckley sounds ridiculous, maybe just this once Buck would take one for the team and take Eddie’s name anyway. Evan Diaz after all sounded way better. 

[homesweetgoodneighbor]

Saw this from @portergage and thought, why the hell not?

Thing is, though, on the fic I'm working on I have a LOT of OCs and and only the ghouls are from pre-war. So, I'll pick two (but will do more on my own because this will help me flesh out a few of them). Y'all be nice. I'm fragile and shit.

This is one of my protags. Not the main protag, but she's up there:

Stella

Full name: Stella Flynn

Gender: Female

Ethnicity: Irish American (no accent)

Pre-war job: born post war

Place of birth: Commonwealth

Current age: early 40s

Biology: human

Current living place: Starlight

[ALIGNEMENT]

Chosen factions: Ladies of Starlight

Role: Head of Security

Allied factions: Goodneighbor / Minutemen / The Slog

Enemy factions: BoS (not quite enemies as of yet but intense dislike) / Institute / Raiders (of every kind) / Triggermen / Gunners

[PERSONALITY]

Alignment: chaotic good

Main qualities: Out-going, friendly, extremely loyal, loves to laugh, rarely in a bad mood

Main flaws: has a tendency to bottle things up; will often let her sledgehammer do the talking when words would be better; will often put herself in harm's way; tends to drink too much when she's worried; despite usually being in a good mood she is quick to anger (but it passes quickly)

Fears: is afraid of bodies of water because she can't swim; has a debilitating fear of radscorpians and is forever worried that she'll eventually die to one because of that

[RELATIONSHIPS]

Status: taken

Sexual orientation: lesbian

People closest to them: Jen / Raina / Chuck

People they hate: Mad Murphy (zero relation to Mama Murphy) / Triggermen in general

Family: Had three brothers. Two older, one younger. Their mother died in childbirth having the youngest, and their father died a few years later of infection from a mole rat bite. The siblings were always very close and her eldest brother, Nolan. Nolan did his very best to be the father figure, although he was only 19 when their father died. Unfortunately, after a bad drought one year, he had to find a means to earn the caps to feed their little family, so he took to the fighting circuit, which later took his life. (It was his death that pushed Stella to be determined to be as strong as she could possibly be.) The next oldest, Caleb, did the best he could and eventually married a woman named Melissa, who was not at all cruel to his siblings but did not want them to stick around when they hit adulthood. The youngest, Tristan, became very good at making furniture and has a shop in Diamond City.

[PHYSICAL]

Height: 6' 1" (she and two of her brothers got their height from their dad)

Weight: She doesn't know and doesn't care.

Build: Muscular and stocky.

Hair color: brassy blond

Hair style: Straight and comes just below her shoulders. She usually has it in a pony tail.

Eyes color: green

Tattoos/scars/markings: One tattoo on her upper arm of a yao guai in honor of her oldest brother Nolan because he gave the best bear hugs. Lots of scars. Most prominent scar is across her chest where a raider's knife sliced her.

[ABILITIES]

Spoken language: English

Strengths: Physical strength, fast reflexes, strong melee fighter

Weakness: Is a terrible shot with pistols (with guns in general, but pistols especially); her left leg is weaker because of an old knee injury and when it's acting up it's hard for her to not telegraph that making it easier for enemies to focus on her left side

Favored weapons: Sledgehammer, but will absolutely pick up whatever is available. She likes hitting things with other things; also loves knives, but rarely has call to use them, keeping one on her as backup.

[RANDOM]

Favorite piece of clothes: black cargo pants, tank tops, and a punk leather jacket that she won in a game of cards

Lucky charm: Matilda, her sledgehammer

Favorite food: grilled brahmin burgers

Favorite beverage: a kind of bizarre mint julip made from gin...it's more gin than mint

Favorite season: Summer. She hates being cold. Likes to sweat.

[twilightbimbo]

Solstice pt 1: Twilight AU

This is an expansion of the Twilight universe with my OC characters!

                                    home is where the heart is

                                    and i’m afraid

                                   i’ve lost my way

Samson

“Why do you think you’ll win? I know when you’re bluffing,” I chided, laughing. Esther rolled her eyes with mild amusement. Esther is the most competitive one in our family and she always tries to best me in poker, despite the fact that I have the gift for sniffing out inauthenticity. 

“‘Cus you suck at poker,” Esther pulled up the corner of her lips in a slight smirk and laid out her winning hand. 

“Har har,” I huffed in frustration. I felt my eyebrows furrow as I realized what was happening. “You assholes!” I exclaimed. Suddenly, the cards of Esther’s winning hand became fuzzy and resembled a glitching computer monitor and then smoothed out into her true, losing hand. I looked up at Esther who was nearly hysterical, tears in her golden eyes from laughing and clutching Chip’s arm. 

“Sorry, brother,” Chip smiled softly and brushed a lock that fell out of Esther’s bun and brushed it behind her ear. I booed loudly and pushed the deck of cards off the dining table between Esther and me in mock anger. 

“Clean that up, Sam,” Sunny said to me without even looking in my direction as she walked past with a basket of laundry. Sunny liked to blend in more than the rest of us. “Keeps us humble,” is one of her favorite phrases. Sunny is the matriarch of our family, even though she is the youngest of us. Technically. 

“Sam, if you couldn’t cheat, you would be terrible at poker,” Stella yelled from her upstairs bedroom. Stella didn’t need to yell, she could even whisper it and we would be able to hear her. But, Sunny forces us to act human at all times, even in our own house. Where no one can see us. Or hear us. Sunny’s word is law. 

Nathalia 

If I was human, I would be panting from running this hard and far. Actually, if I was human I couldn’t run like this at all. I still let air rush in and out of my lungs naturally, tasting the forest around me. I had been feeling the urge to see the ocean lately. I miss home. But, I can’t go back there for a lot of reasons. Mainly because it’s always sunny down there. So, the Oregon coast is perfect for my needs, it’s overcast here the majority of the time. And it felt familiar here, the beach was always a constant for me until I died.

 I have been on the run for three years. That is so dramatic to say, but it’s true. I’ve been through nearly all of California, eastern Oregon, and about every rural area in Washington. I haven’t been around the general public in what seems like forever. If forever means three years and three hundred and sixty-two days. I’ve missed normalcy. I’ve missed being able to call a place my own. I miss belonging to something.

The trees began to clear as the river widened and gray light bled between the branches above as they became more sparse. I slowed down into a more relaxed jog, my damp hair starting to cling from my shoulders all the way to the small of my back. I relaxed my pace completely as I could see the river desperately reaching the ocean, letting my bare feet sink into the mossy and wet forest floor. I walked slowly until the ground turned into sand. I tilted my face up towards the sky and let the gentle rain kiss my face. 

The waves crashing is familiar and it eased some of my longing. Longing? God, I’ve become so pretentious. In my human life, I couldn’t stand being alone for longer than hours and now I’ve gone years. I guess loneliness changes you. 

While I was roaming in Washington, I heard there were vampires who tried to pretend to be humans and go to school and stuff. I was transformed only a year after I graduated high school and I didn’t get the chance to go to college. I had my eyes on the University of California, Los Angeles. But, here I am. Not alive, but also alive. On a beach. In the middle of fucking nowhere. 

“Hey! Aren’t you cold?” A voice called out to me from down the beach. I’ve been practicing for this. I turned my head slowly, trying to be careful of the speed of my movements. I looked down at myself briefly. I was wearing a thin, gray sweater with jeans. And barefoot. It’s probably in the low forties right now and getting colder. So much for attempting to blend in. I looked back at their direction and while I was definitely too far away, I smiled tentatively at them. 

“Got thick skin!” I yelled back, shrugging. The person behind the voice was an older man, the wind carried his scent towards me. I could smell the warm blood and as he slowly approached me, I could hear his faint heartbeat. It would be too easy. In half a second I would be right in front of him, pushing his head back to expose his neck. His red cap would fall off and in my frenzy, I would probably tear apart his windbreaker. Blood on the sand. My eyes red. 

Nope, nope, nope. I’ve gone three years without tasting human blood. I’m not going to fuck this up now. I turned on my heel and went back to the forest, as soon as I was certain I was covered by the thick swarm of trees I took off sprinting. 

Where am I supposed to go now? I need to get better clothes to blend in. I need to find a place to live. “Live”. To be frank, I had it pretty easy. I never had to worry about this kind of stuff. In the distance, I can hear cars sporadically driving on the wet pavement. If there are cars, there are people and if there are people, there are clothing stores and libraries. I changed my direction in order to run parallel to the highway giving myself about a half a mile distance between me and the road. 

It wasn’t much longer, maybe twenty miles or so before I saw neon light tinge the fog and the smell of car exhaust got stronger. Smelled disgusting. I thought about how I would be able to wander into some random mom and pop shop to get clothes without sticking out. I’ve been practicing my self control but it’s much easier when I hold my breath. How can I go without talking to the small town locals without seeming like a bitch? I guess the only thing I can do is hope what they say about first impressions isn’t true. 

Luckily enough for me, the river, which had dwindled down to a creek, ran close enough to the highway so I could wash my feet and legs so I could look less dirty and homely. Unfortunately, about every person I passed stared at me. Everyone has dressed appropriately for the wintery beach weather. Except for me. 

The first clothing shop that looked like it could have clothes for people “my age” and nearly completely empty was the first one I walked into. I bought nearly everything. Well, bought is a loose term. It was about four days after my transformation that I realized I had an ability. A “super talent” he called it. If I want someone to do something I want, they do it. It’s never something intense like falling in love with me or giving me their kidney or anything like that. It’s small stuff like if I want their approval I got it. If I want their coffee, they hand it over. Small stuff like that. 

The shopkeeper handed over around six hundred dollars in merchandise with a bright smile on her face. I made a mental note to make an anonymous donation as soon as possible. Sometimes I felt bad about swindling people, sometimes I felt like it was a necessary evil. A girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. 

It wasn’t that hard finding the library after the shops, and lucky for me, the librarian allowed me to stash my shopping bags behind her desk. The public computer whirred to life slowly, I could practically hear the viruses worming around. I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for, or even where. I tried local listings, Craigslist, even some dark web shit. It wasn’t until I caved and made a fake Facebook account that I was able to find a single bedroom apartment to rent. 

The man who owned the place was rather kind. I hardly had to use my ability to sway him to let me live rent free for the next foreseeable future. His name was Ernie and he had quite the beer belly and a bald spot on the back of his head, reminding me vaguely of a freshly cracked egg.  I assume that he felt quite flattered that I was flirting with him. Actually, it could have been the innate human experience of being my prey who is inevitably lured to his death by my inhuman womanly charm. Who could say?

The apartment was painfully small but fully furnished. I couldn’t say if it was fully furnished as a part of the lease, which I did not have, or my newfound landlord was just too caught up in our conversation. I’ve been told I dazzle people. Whatever that means. A large full length mirror hung in the bedroom and I took a full look at myself for the first time in a long time. 

My dirty blonde hair was a mess. I think I can see a dread forming in the curly mess. My black eyes peered back at me in disbelief, how could I let myself go like this? Dark circles clung around my eyes covering the splatter of freckles on my face, I looked like I hadn’t slept in weeks. More like years, I chuckled to myself. I need to feed soon. An uncommitted corner of my mind thought aimlessly about what animals are in my vicinity. The other portion of my mind looked back in the mirror. I still was pale as before, still more beautiful than I ever was as a human. It’s weird, feeling this conceited but it was true. My very nature was to lure humans in, even more so with my ability. I can get humans to literally lay before me, neck exposed. But, I promised myself a while ago to never feed on humans again. 

This place was definitely not intended to be left fully furnished, a laptop laid on the desk in my new bedroom. I realized I never learned about this town before I decided on it. The ocean picked me. I wiped the laptop and set it up under my preferences. This time, password protected. My google search reminded me I’m currently in Brookings, Oregon. I had made a mental note earlier when I saw the welcome sign out of the corner of my eye on my way into town. 

Oh, perfect! I exclaimed internally. There is a local community college that happened to offer marine biology courses. Marine biology was my intended major before this happened to me. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I’m being an idiot and making stupid choices by surrounding myself with humans. But, honestly, I’m lonely and I don’t think I can take this punishment much longer. 

Part 2

[someplanetelse]

Stella

[ due South, minific, not really anything happening, Fraser doesn´t really want to, he´s just emotional, i´m not sure what this is, it´s a bit sad and not in the least funny]

It´s three in the morning and Ben wants to kill her. No matter what he says, no matter how and with which words he tryes to convince him, she was there before him and destroyed all trust. All trust that forever means really forever. Ray, his beloved, lies next to him in bed, sleeping, and Ben wants to kill Stella for saying forever and meaning it and taking it back later.

Now Ben says it and means it and Ray beliefs him and still is guarding his heart, because he was thrown out in the cold before.

That hurts and he wants to shake her, make her teeth rattle, until she is to dizzy to walk.

It makes him angry and sad and confused alltogether. He never wanted to hurt anyone, let allone a woman. But...

It´s three in the afternoon and Ben wants to declare her an angel, an eternal blessing of the world. Ray, his friend is on the phone and he sounds so happy and comfortable. going on and on how she looks and talks and what they do all day and how the sun shines in her hair. Ben loves her for making him sound like this, being like this, even so far away.

Ray, his Ray is standing near the door, in socks and a knitted cap, because it´s getting colder these days and wetter, so the dirty boots stay on the porch. He looks kind of haunted. Watching things only he can see.

“She can be a gift from the gods if she wants to.”

He steps closer, a smile ghosting over his face.

“I´ll make dinner, okay?”

When Ben has finished his call, he follows to the kitchen. Ray stirrs a pot, lifts the lid on the small one next to it and has instantly fogged glasses. He flinches back, trying to clear his vision with his sleeve.

Ben takes a few steps forward, taking the glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. They are probably cleaner now than they have been all week.

And when he puts the glasses back on Ray´s nose, Ray lights up.

“She´s a gift from the gods, really. The gods of sunshine and summer dresses. Wasn´t for me, huh? Guess my gift came from the gods of ice and snow, the gods that live near the arctic circle and guard the cold plaines. Those guys, spirits, that live in the lake. The lake they call michigan.”

[libidomechanica]

“Yet where were again; love swells a regiment of gain, except”

Yet where were again; love swells a     regiment of gain, except. Save what shall be enbalm’d by     me; uncouple of all

rapt in me, as in height: what speak;     and tongues licking spur? A sighed it lay hidder, and the twelve     spoil with it, and made arose,

and soldier drest, stems brain an     imperious names the all his body, tell ye to then,     in the yellow fayre Romance

may comrade’s for and saw, within     an April daffodilly her make you look upon     our beauty—Beauty duty

corrupt is, begin joy was     a crevice: had fellow say the sky sagged with Love, the language     her female for he,

wonderings a broken up It     is face a daughter love allow’s whispered one to haue mars     your mantel-pieces. And

brains again me. A Kate, a Frank,     to hold’st thou shalt beauteous showe, but weak in sense and all where     storm is braveries the

cold arms in awful forever;     let not upon immediate death. ’—’The stars in painter     shining of sleep him, until

so fair station—who might needeth     they cannot, like holy drawe wild creation felt with     man feast told him sit on

think into the peek or my heart.     And so much rather wars to his heart; o Cleanse Thy Bosom     of the streets, like a rolling,

that euen Nature in     miserational;—but t is pretty pink, but I who lost i’     th’ funeral-shears

would fail beneath the world was even     knows not yet come what we did—was thy she hath, by the     hushed by this worse, no good

or ill. Has feelings, Roman, and     take her air like an attended majesties and new changed     with proud peopled city

cap’s a charm of excesses gave     the mirrors of your love for brake, and your hair behind he     wounded on my champagne

flute. Seen across the hero’s story,     there when they happening on each cup’s worth an echo of     a small worth could send forth

she on him eyes which no encountercharm     of thy worke my Stella deare, now counting oblivion,     beating palm, the

prey, and show’d no peace, where the sunset,     which after him shake its thorny stalk, and Provençal     song like a foreign ground.

[felicitous-feline]

Beautiful Creatures - 2013; 46%/54% on Rotten Tomatoes; Gross USA: $19,452,138; Budget: $60,000,000 (estimated)

Well it’s not a total piece of shit, so there’s that. I don’t know, it definitely drags on and I hate the whole they’re destined to love each other and that as teens they meet the love of their life and their fates are forever intertwined bullshit. The acting isn’t awful, but good god the southern accents...I mean damn. As far as movies with witchcraft go I will always recommend Practical Magic and The Craft, both were favorites of teenage Allison and hold a special place in my heart. So I guess if you want to watch a trashy teen supernatural romance movie this is less problematic than Twilight since the female character actually has some agency and isn’t begging a super old vampire to just destroy her body with aggressive sex and perform a C section with his teeth so her other love interest can imprint upon the baby and want to fuck it. I never read the books, but I did play a drinking game to the first Twilight movie where you had to drink anytime the relationship seemed creepy or Bella looked constipated, so I remember about the first 15 minutes of the movie.

Real Time Notes:

This one is on Netflix, so I don’t have to search for it elsewhere, which is a plus. My recommendations and viewing history have long been destroyed, so this won’t place me on any sadder lists than I am already categorized into (I’m looking at you, Bee Movie lady!).

Alright, this motherfucker is TWO FULL HOURS long, and likely not worth it, though it has a very high Rotten Tomatoes rating...for what it is.

There aren’t a lot of screen caps online, so it probably sucks, but I am hoping this character that has a penchant for hats is in a Duckie like role.

Oh wow, the southern accent was a STRONG choice.

He is a fuck old high schooler.

Snyder’s product placement?

Zoey Deutch!

Death eatin a cracker?

Oh wow, an eyepatch?!?!

SOOOOO MANY CHOICES!

Momma sure says a lot of things.

Do people actually say all of these weird idioms?

Is this an opposite Twilight where the roles are reversed?!?!

Oooooh, how dreamy, he’s such an intellectual! I mean, look at his glasses!!!

I figured it would be a banned book.

How did the two male characters not get cut from the glass exploding?

Did we just become best friends?!?!

He is standing really close to her. Like uncomfortably close for not knowing each other really at all.

Sunglasses inside? Does he have creepy eyes?!?!

Damn it, nope.

It sounds weird.

Ummmmm. What the fuck is going on?

Oh no, he’s turning into Venom! Time to dance on the street and sing at a piano jazz bar!

What the fuck is that fluffy thing on him?

Her power is poetry? LAME!!!

Why does she keep calling him mortal? Is she not mortal? It implies she is immortal, and I don’t think she is. She said caster, not immortal being.

Hey, her tattoo changed. Is it a countdown to her birthday?

This is moving Sleeping Beauty fast.

Ford has a product placement too? Who is this movie for?

Alright, so Viola Davis is doing some weird backwoods swamp shit. Please tell me she practices voodoo.

A slavery allegory?

“Some things cannot be stopped” cue speeding car. Woof.

First hangover at 16? Damn.

This seems sexist...

What happened to your eye? Beep Bloop Blorp, do you understand me?

Ewww, they’re siblings? Definitely thought they were ex lovers.

Why are they playing the stereotypical love sting?

At least Ridley has weird eyes that explain the sunglasses.

She sure says cuz a lot.

I was really hoping someone would puke from the spinning.

Ah ha ha, that guy’s bangs!!!

I don’t understand why they didn’t tell her the truth from the start.

Still also don’t understand the curse...

Okay, so not vampire rules, that was confusing.

What the fuck? They’ve known each other for a couple months and her family is like, well they’re destined to love each other, he basically is responsible for her and owns her now? Come on!

Hooray, Viola Davis is literally a magical black person that helps the white protagonist.

They sure say bitch a lot.

Yeah, there’s no way this relationship would last long term.

Whoa, are they gonna fuck?!?! She’s 16 and I didn’t see any rubbers...

One of them sacrifices themself for the other, right?

Can this end soon? PLEASE!!!

Alright, that sermon is a little on the nose there...

I mean...just let him die...

Now that’s a storm.

Man, Macon sure made a big assumption there that she loves him.

...so did she kill her Mom or banish her? Or what?

What the fuck are those finger-less gloves?

He has to remember their “romance” at some point, right? I assume this was based on a book series and that would require that he continue to be her love interest.

And there it is. I’m surprised they didn’t throw in some rain or something to make it all Streetcar. LLLLEEEEEEENNNNNNAAAAA!

Now I’m thinking about Tommy Wisseau writhing around yelling Stella.

[wickedharlotblogs]

1. she did an interview for liv’s documentary

we only know this from ryan price himself who, when getting papaprazied, was asked about who he talked to for the documentary. he named a few people and stella was in the list. it’ll be interesting to say the least to hear what she has to say since she seemed to have some...strong opinions.

2. she dropped out of college

we only really know this from twitter where she complained about it. it seemed like she was majoring in business management. its unclear why she dropped out, but she did after only a few months of university.

3. she works as an event planner

this one isn’t hard to figure out. she worked on the recent vanderbilt hotel event.

4. she has a sex tape with cian callaghan 

we all know this one. the only thing she has said about it is “you’re welcome” on twitter.

5. she doesn’t like maxwell harper

i mean...it could be some elaborate joke, but we doubt it at this point. between tweets about why zelda was in the car and “fuck maxwell harper” - it seems like he’s done something to her to make her dislike him, but no amount of fans tweeting at her has made her explain. during her venting about austin harper joking about buying belinda a boob job - she tweeted that she didn’t like him because “he seems like a max”.

6. she loves her twitter account

and here are some of our favorite stella tweets:

i aspire to have the blind, misled & ill advised confidence that joanna martel has. good morning to the girl suing joanna martel only i used to find it really annoying that america was such a litigious society, but then that girl sued joanna martel and suddenly i own a bald eagle and an american flag bikini. nobody ever smacked alexis woods in the mouth and it shows nobody: essie: MY HUSBAND

you don't CHOOSE to be gay thats decided for you when you listen to either hella bars by ryder tomasi or like a rockstar by phases. watching extremely vile, shockingly wicked & the incredibly long named ted bundy movie was funny because essence woods was playing a dumb serial killers gf when in reality shes probably actually a serial killer. this guy invited me into his boat so now i gotta bully him for thinking i'm gonna be murdered that easily

some of ryan's songs are just the adult version of LC. change my mind. oh wait. you can't.

7. she’s a big ryder (and ryan?) fan

stella has always seemed like a big ryder fan. ryan it seems like she flip flops on sometimes, but she often posts tweets related to them:

its cute we all keep pretending like we can understand a thing ryan price says during his songs. y'all are really cute for humoring these ex-disney kids so they dont go totally methed out

okay...look. i don't like that ryder made that one little things cover but thats some BIG DICK ENERGY if i've ever seen it. cause he knows damn well they aint gonna do shit about it. what are they gonna say? nothing.

you can't say shit to a man whose arm is as big as your head. ryder isn't exercising so he looks attractive. he's working out to ensure that he can say whatever the fuck he wants forever.

the only tolerable famous people are quinton, ryder, ryan & maia.

8. she’s moody about famous people.

she tweeted this after fighting with kelsey ambrose:  famous ppl tweet me the same like...3 insults..................and 2 of them are about me not being famous., and it definitely wasn’t the first time she’s tweeted about ‘stupid famous people’ including the previous tweet about the “only” tolerable famous people.

another example is tweeting about austin harper. she started out trashing him but later on commended him for snapping off about alexis and greyson tweeting;

half of these male musicians just listen to whatever the fuck their managers say and i'm sure austin wasn't supposed to say that but he did anyway. and you wanna know why? HE HAS BALLS and defended his woman over listening to the people HES paying. 

i'd also have hit him austin go off boo. u fight human shrek [greyson] for not making it an ongoing series

but later on went on to being suspicious about him:

but also he better stop that relapsing nonsense before his kid gets here. if you have a drug addiction + a kid you're a shitty parent. no cap. no go backs. do not pass go. do not collect $200. and if he's relapsed in the last year...then he's not gonna be able to handle having a baby without relapsing because babies are hard and trying and make you not sleep so coke seems like a solution there.

9. she at least somewhat can stand callan (or used to).

she’s been pretty quiet on the callan front for a while now, but it seems like callan is the only one she might still like. this comes from the video of sixteen or seventeen year old stella saying that people liked lc because roman/callan were “arm candy” to 14 year olds. but she’s since then tweeted negatively about roman. so its hard to tell if roman still stands - but she’s never had much to say about callan.

10. she doesn’t like her siblings fame.

this is something that has been known from lc fans finding the accounts of stella’s old high school classmates who claimed that stella would get annoyed when anyone brought up her siblings or asked questions.