#STAND ON BUSINESS!

[claiestve]

i wanna give alex's listener a big hug n then slap that ho

[lizzybeeee]

When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

probably will be FORCED by Pomp And Circumstance to go to the CLOWN HOSPITAL, for a CLOWN INJURY (may or may not be An ALLEGEDLY Fractured Foot...a MOURNFUL MALADY incurred in the most PATHETIC and LAPSIDAISICAL Fashion of TRAGICALLY UNFASHIONABLY Events......

Anyway. Forgot what I was saying. Buy me 1/25th of an x-ray or whatnot I guess

[simonbrain]

ghoap being selfish bastards and stringing you along with their affection. it's hard letting someone into their lives; so many risks come with the job, and to add a civvie to that mess? it's not fair to you.

but they also can't seem to leave you alone. even when they push you away after you show the slightest sign of wanting to take things further than being fuck-buddies, they still keep an eye on you. even when you tell them you don't want anything to do with them anymore, they still show up at your front door. even with teary eyes while you're spitting venom at them, rightfully hurt by their confusing actions, they still think you're beautiful.

you just want to know why they rub it in your face. why they flaunt their unbreakable bond, knowing that there's no space for you except for when they want to sink deep into your holes, leaving their marks. why they can't just decide if they want you or not. it's a risk being with them, you know this, but you just want something for yourself for once in your life. it seems like they're not even giving you a damn chance to prove yourself worthy of their love.

(it hurts so badly to push you away, but they must.)

they're causing you so much distress, not to mention the stress from your job piled on top of that. who wouldn't become resentful towards them? you open your home to them, your legs, your heart—god. what fucking assholes. what did you expect from two military men? they really are just heartless machines.

(no one else has made you feel so whole in years, for the best and for the worst.)

you stop responding to their messages and calls; you curse them both out when they show up at your door separately and again when they show up together, and now you just want to heal from something that didn't even fucking happen. it's pathetic, but you really did love like them. it's hard falling asleep without johnny's obnoxious snoring in your ear or simon's big arms wrapped securely around you, but you'll manage. it's quiet on the drive to work without johnny cranking up some random scottish rapper before simon scolds him and hands the aux to you, giving you the best start to your day, but you'll be fine. it's disheartening when you return home to nothing but a dim lamp in the corner, no greasy takeout waiting for you on the table, or two pairs of ears eager to listen to the shit that went down at work today, but you'll get over it.

then months later they see you at a bar. johnny's trying his best to not just slide up to you and purr into your ear about how gorgeous you look, how blue's his favourite colour and this shade looks so good on you, and did ye wear this tight lil thing just for me, hen? simon's not doing any better; there's a you-shaped hole in his chest, and he wants nothing more than to go home with you and johnny under each arm, but they know they lost their chance with you.

they know this because when you finally catch the source of whoever the hell is staring holes into your head, there's no falter. there's nothing in your eyes that says you want them anymore—you look at them, then look away.

(they don't know your heart still aches for them.)

[taffywabbit]

i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level

[canisalbus]

Oops

.

[dcminions]

BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS dir. Kevin Rodney Sullivan

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Merry Christmas ya’ll

[old-desert]

Inktobertale 2024 Day 5: Camping

Cross doesn't know that the first law of the multiverse is that there's nowhere Ink can't be.

[thefrsers]

#exactly🥹

[lilithofpenandbook]

"Snape is a bully-!"

Really?

This poor man just got set on FIRE. Snape's not the bully, he GETS BULLIED. BY EVERYONE.

[egophiliac]

ok so as someone still relatively new to TWST (and someone just taking the events as they come to EN instead of keeping up with the JP side) and as a Jack Howl simp

I am of the (CORRECT) opinion that he should absolutely get an Applepom look because... fwuffy. and hat with ear holes. and he'd be SO insistent that he's used to the cold and doesn't need it but he will take it once it's insisted on because he's polite and won't refuse Gramma Felmier

Also I think a fun twist on the "someone's sled breaks and their plushie tears so they have to come up with another idea" bit from the other event is that Jack goes wolf mode to pull the sled (because as said in his starsending wish he pulls sleds back at home on breaks to try and get faster as a wolf!)

I'm biased though because I need more Jacc in my life

Thoughts?

thank you anon for bringing the mental image of harveston Jack into my life. he would be SO fluffy...so warm...he would haul so many apples...

also while I love the imagery of him pulling the sled, I feel like that would probably get them insta-disqualified. :( unless they can somehow 1) convince the judges that this enormous talking wolf is actually a very well-made plush, and 2) get Jack to go along with it (I do think Jack would instantly respect Marja as being more alpha or whatever and would have to, like, choose between his sense of JUSTICE, or going along with cheating at this sporting event so an authority figure doesn't get mad at him) (...wait this is just the plot of episode 2 again) (DANGIT)

[captainpirateface]

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a Tiktok where he’s staring at something beyond the camera with an expression on his face that says he’s both unimpressed and unamused.

He flips the camera around to a rack of trashy gossip magazines that you see in line at the grocery store. He zooms in on a cover that has a little image of Eddie doing his Christmas shopping, accusing him of buying stuff for his secret affair lover.

Eddie: *deep breath*

Eddie: Can we not ruin Christmas?

Steve, coming up behind Eddie: Ooh, is that Blake Lively? What-

Eddie, panicked: No! *proceeds to knock the entire rack over*

[hawkinsbnbg]

It was a well-known secret that Jonathan Byers sold Steve Harrington’s photos at cutthroat prices to the students of Hawkins High.

People wanted to get mad at it but a picture of shirtless Steve in tiny green shorts was enough to silence their protests.

Although his buyers ranged from all genders, Jonathan wasn’t surprised at all. Because he, too, was a victim of that Harrington Charm—the very reason he had started collecting every picture of Steve in the first place.

His side business was just a front for him to do so without being harrassed by Tommy H. who, ironically, was one of his regulars.

And why was it a well-known secret?

Well, because Steve had no idea about it.

In a rare sense of solidarity, the whole school had joined forces and done their best to keep their king out of the loop.

(Even Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson—who loved to run his mouth—seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and managed to keep the secret.)

Jonathan had never enjoyed photography more in his life.

When Steve eventually figured it out, he was surprisingly willing to let Jonathan take more… audacious photos of him.

Suffice to say, the profit had skyrocketed once Jonathan found the right group of customers.

(i.e. Eddie Munson had paid for the Bunny Collection with three bags of weeds, Tommy H. had paid a hefty amount for more Stockings, and Billy Hargrove kept coming back for Higheels & Lipstick.)

[ef-1]

his mug shot bc he's arrested for murdering a CEO when the real threat is that killer face card 🫦