#SOMETHING NEGATIVE??? NO I FUCKING DIDNT
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Killing my dad with a rock arc
#luly talks#you ever see a man who doesn't understand anything at all#ohh bc my bringing up was bad SO WAS MINE#I'M A SELF MADE PERSON MY MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME MY FATHER WASNT PRESENT BUT FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK#my head hurts so bad#everything is about him he thinks thinking about a person is all there is to caring about someone#hmhmmh mh can't even cry anymore#he had the audacity to bring up me dropping out and then made it about HIM about how HE was involved and how HE had hope and about how HE#HE HE HE THAT'S ALL THERE IS#NEVER IN A MOMENT HE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW *I* FELT THEN TELLS ME TO MY FACE I DROPPED TO PLAY MY VIDEOGAME#AND I KNOW HE SAID THAT BC HE WAS ANGRY BUT WHEN HE WAS INTO A GAME AND PLAYED ALL DAY AND WANTED TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL DID I EVER SAY#SOMETHING NEGATIVE??? NO I FUCKING DIDNT#THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOW ONE WAS RAISED BECAUSE ONE IS AN ADULT WHO'S BEING TOLD WHAT HE'S DOING WRONG AND YET AND YET !!!!#anyway i went for a walk outside and it was sickening the sounds of my shoes on the floor were so high abd loud...#i wanted to walk shoeless but i thought that was a bit too far i already was chewing something with my hand close to my mouth#head low eyes fixated on a singular point#i looked very not normal is what im saying i looked stereotypically not normak#which is good for if anyone wanted to steal from me i look like the kind who would stab you on the throat w a pen#i also wasn't walking i was waddling#bc the aforementioned shoe issye#yeah we are having a day today folks
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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"it's for new players"
they have been dragging varric's bloated and lifeless carcass out for ten years to keep OLD players invested. they made the netflix show so closely tied to inquisition events to remind OLD players that they are definitely going to get to see the conclusion of that story you played years ago! they have literally written the entire game around a character that only matters if you played the PREVIOUS game. they only started sharing information unique to veilguard less than half a year before release. they released their pre-order shit knowing the bulk of those orders would be OLD players, fueled by nostalgia and excitement at finally getting a continuation of this story, only to reveal that 99% of the choices they made in a CHOICE BASED RPG have been wiped off the board
fuck all the way off with that "new players" bullshit
#dragon age#da:v#da blabs#da negative#was that the tag i was using? i forgot#also speaking as someone who was a ''new player'' to inquisition#it is not that fucking difficult actually to contend with multiple choices from previous games#so i find this reasoning insulting on multiple levels#if they really wanted something friendly to new players they should have gone the andromeda route#oh but andromeda flopped didnt it? and they cant have that again#gotta make sure they keep their precious fucking so|avellans hanging on#the fact of the matter is that this game is not friendly to new players and in trying to make it so they've pissed off old players#they want both and they're shooting themselves in the foot trying to have it
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You know what irks me the most about the mha ending. (Sorry I'm still on it.)
Like the early parts of the manga, there were so many grown up hero AUs in fandom (like storylines that took place when they're adults and heroes) and they're fun! A little silly!
And then we had the war arc and cities are being destroyed and everything's torn up and for over a hundred chapters, it's been oh huh I guess every AU like that will just be canon divergence lmao
And then Horikoshi basically wipes the slate clean so I guess all those AUs could technically canon compliant. There's not even much in the way of lasting physical damage! Because it's dealt with???? Immediately???? Within months?????
Which is fine! Nothing wrong with it! The AUs are fun! But, it just irks me that you could throw out half the manga because it didn't matter. Nothing majorly changed. Silly adult hero AUs for everyone I guess because the League may as well have been 2 bit villains for all the effect they had at large was. Idk. Maybe I'm bitter? Maybe my brain still trying to process the ending and the change in how AUs relate to canon? I guess - what was all the constant sprinkling in of "society has let people down" that we see from chapter 1? It meant nothing? I guess????? I mean A WAR HAPPENED. But whatever I guess heehee wasn't that soooooo silly???? That people's take on early story can be the same as post story?????
#the bee talks#bnha manga spoilers#bnha#*nothing's new nothing's new noooothing's new“ plays on repeat in my head#im NOT fucking tagging it as critical. i dont think im being overall critical about mha. maybe i will to help ppl curate fandom space#i guess itd be more like wank than actual criticism.#anyway theres a great denki/shinsou/monoma tiktok adult hero au story- its kind of brilliant. love that.#(literally story it has so many arcs so many interesting villain/vigilante ocs its so so good)#but... i mean it was cosplay so it took a while. and in all that time it just??? could still technically be canon??#idk it just..... something in me just.... chafes about this#and its arguably such a stupid thing to get hung up on (i think my brain's just having a hard time with that mental switch). sorry.#we need a different tag thats mha wank or mha negative or something bc its more that than any critical.#why did horikoshi spend 10 years on this story??????#why give time and thought to the villains????? why did he do all this????#he couldve just explored uraraka's than “heroic” reasons for getting into ua if he didnt want his villains to change anything.#like just focus on the hero students or something. idk idk idk... fuck it:#bnha critical
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I know people hate danganronpa fans but I am having fun playing it with my bestie sorry
#if taka is like actually evil or shitty or something im sorry i only just reached chapter 2 so idk anything#also im not allowed to look up things about the game so i cant fucking remember what takas actual name is ive just been calling him taka#i had to ask my friend to send me a ref for some characters i wanted to sketch#also i didnt mean to give him like such a transmasc figure#ill draw a couple more sketches i think but i have to go to work#ALSO WHEN I SAY “HAS AUTISTIC POSTURE” i mean he stands like I do its not in a negative/mocking way
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for people whose job is dealing with mentally ill people therapists sure get very uncomfortable when you cry or express any negative thoughts or feelings or are suicidal or suggest you may have a mental illness
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Oh so it turns out that some of my Bad Experience with gabapentin so far is because "two vitamin gummies and a coffee" don't count as food to gabapentin. I had no problems with my TVGaaC breakfast when I was only on celecoxib but now that I'm on gabapentin that apparently isn't going to cut it. I've discovered that if I eat an actual solid food before taking my morning gabapentin that I experience very little side effects, but if I DON'T do that then it feels like my eyes and brain are being scooped out with spoons and spun around. Very cringe
#i'd been doing totally fine for a good couple weeks#and then yesterday i didnt have time to eat before going out to run errands#and so i had 2 vitamin gummies and a coffee bc that's my go-to#and like clockwork the gabapentin wrought havoc on me and my errands became a gauntlet#i had to go stop and sit down at the coffee shop and eat something bc i was so fucked up#i wasnt willing to keep driving my car until i felt coherent agaon#again*#sooooo annoying#prof.pdf#negative#???
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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you can saddle yourself with an insane amount of responsibility for others' emotional and physical wellbeing at a very young age but watch out!
#text#What if something bad happened because i didnt say anything what if i should have just run up and stopped them and said#everything even though that wouldve been dangerous for me what if something bad happened what if it's my fault#what if i should've finished this fucking report What if something bad happens or happened between when i started it and when i finish it#and it's my fault becuas ei didn't say anything yet.#AND WHAT IF THE WORLD WAS MADE OF PUDDING. I SHOULD GO TO BED#neg
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adhd/autism hyperfixation mode activates and i gain two status effects
im having so much fun weeee!!! my brain is so happy lalalala!!! i think about the fun thing all the time and have so many ideas and thoughts tee hee haha!!
i lose all connection to this world. time isnt real. all survival skills are debuffed to the point of barely or not functioning. if i dont think about and engage with fun thing for 99.9999999999% of the day i feel like im going to die. i forget to eat and drink and sleep and bathe and do chores and it genuinely makes me unable to function
#this is not a joke post its a vent one unfortunately#i LOVE fixating on a fun new thing but i do wish that it didnt mean i cannot function as a person lol????#something to work on somehow. there must be some sort of balance to be made here#i just haven't fixated on something like this in. a Long Time and i feel like. can feel joy again in a way i havent in years#but i also cant fucking. take care of myself like i should rn which is frustrating!!!!#rot posts#anyways bitches who hyperfixate and know its not like. a cute slang word for having an interest and does have negative sides. i feel youuuu#this shits toughhh
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jesus christttt im not surprised at all to hear that the knuckles series focuses on wade and other human characters a lot i saw this coming a mile away with how almost all the news we were getting before the trailer came out was about the human characters/actors and not about knuckles (or sonic or tails or any other animated characters) but the fact that somebody calculated how many minutes of screentime knuckles has and it came out as LESS THAN HALF OF THE ENTIRE SERIES' RUNTIME when the series is NAMED after him is ridiculous. after this show comes out wade will likely have more screentime and overall plot relevance in the entire scu than tails does. did they actually think wade is a popular enough character for people to be down with this. what the fuck
#was gonna pirate the series but at this rate i might not watch it at all LMAO or at the very least only watch the parts with team sonic#because my interest in this series is dropping every second and i already wasnt very interested in it.#and i love knuckles so you know theyre doing something wrong if knuckles getting his own series isnt interesting me#the thing about wade is i dont even hate the idea of human characters. i dont think its bad for human characters to be present#and i dont think its bad for them to be involved in the plot and have relationships with the existing sonic characters#i personally didnt mind the wedding subplot in the second movie and i know a lot of people hated it#but. it becomes a problem when the random humans are overshadowing the characters people are actually here to see#like the show is literally called knuckles and all the marketing focuses on knuckles but its mostly about wade. allegedly.#and . i wouldnt have minded knuckles having a human costar. but again. they should be getting equal or less focus not more.#and also. its fucking wade who cares about wade enough to want this. would have been more forgiving if it was maddie or jojo or something#because i actually care about those characters. and also theyre not cops#for a moment i was willing to believe that the complaints about wade having way more screentime than knuckles#were a little exaggerated since a lot of people just get mad when the human characters have any screentime at all#but then i saw the article showing that knuckles really did show up for less than half the show and i was like Ummm. What#sorry for being so negative lately#its just that every new piece of info we get about upcoming scu projects has me like that reaction image of the guy holding a cigarette#like WHAT ARE THEY DOINGGGGGGG
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trying to figure out what happened to you as a child is so fun because whenever I mess up or do something slightly wrong here I immediately jump to "she's angry at me so I'm not going be given dinner tonight because I don't deserve it because I did something bad and wrong and bad" and it's like okay. so when did this happen to me. in my childhood.
#and its not like my mom remembers or my dads gonna fuckin admit to withholding food from me as a punishment#and if I ever Was sent to bed without dinner which I think I was maybe? idfk. it wasn't because I did something so earth shatteringly bad#it was always because they overreacted about everything about fucking Everythinggggg (which my sister has inherited)#the worst thing I'd do as a child was. idk talk back? well. actually I didnt do that a whole lot bc I knew if I did I'd get fuckin killed#I feel like there were definitely times I was mad or upset enough that I put myself to bed early and deliberately miss dinner and not eat#but where did *THAT* come from#anyway it's so fun living with someone who can't control their negative emotions and you just end up getting retraumatized every time#they're in a mood or whatever and are loud about it so Everyone knows they're mad or stressed and you just sit in your room#anticipating being yelled at or screamed at or punished for something inconsequential its so fun I'm living the dream <3#(also for those curious my adaption to everyone in my environment being overreactors is I habitually and chronically underreact)#(which isn't much better. because you're perceived as not caring and it's like oh no I do care I've just forced myself not to feel.)#(as a mechanism for surviving a shitty childhood. love and light)
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Finished all 4 assignments, and it only took me 9 hours of my day
🙃
#speculation nation#thats with a cumulative half hour break. for me eating lunch and also a ten min lie down#the real kicker is i spent an hour absolutely agonizing over a problem bc i just could not get it#only to realize i didnt have to do it in the first place.#and the problem i actually needed to do took me all of 2 minutes to finish.#so i wasted an hour of my fucking life. for *nothing*.#literally broke down crying over this problem and i didnt need to fucking do it at all.#im so angry and upset and tired. 9 hours is way too long to be working on schoolwork.#it feels like i just woke up and now it's nearly time for bed. this sucks so fucking much.#i finished all my Fucking work at least. but i really really really want to hurt something.#but oh fuckin well what's done is done. fuckin whatever.#negative/
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guess whose oliver plush got stolen because the delivery driver cant follow instructions or even bother looking at the address AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#in neg city#dialtown#fuck you it goes in the dialtown tag#dogman STOP MAKING PLUSHES WITH MAKESHIP THEIR DELIVERY SERVICES ARE AWFUL#THEY DONT GO THROUGH UPS OR USPS AND SO THERES NO WAY FOR ME TO GIVE THEM DELIVERY INSTRUCTIONS#THE DRIVER DIDNT EVEN DROP IT OFF AT THE RIGHT /DOOR/#AND THIS TIME I HAD THE DOORCODE FOR THE DOOR /IN MY ADDRESS INFORMATION/!!!!!!!#and of course makeship doesnt tell you something has delivered until TWO HOURS AFTER THE FACT#meaning even if i couldve had my landlord come scoop it up from outside no he fucking couldnt bc IN TWO HOURS THE PACKAGE WILL HAVE ALREADY#BEEN STOLEN#i feel like a fucking crazy person but how hard can it be to just FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS#DO I NEED TO STAPLE THEM TO YOUR FUCKING FOREHEAD?#I WORK A FULLTIME JOB I CANT BE SITTING AT HOME CAMPING OUT PACKAGES#HENCE WHY. I INCLUDE. MY DOORCODE!!!!#BUT THE DRIVER COULDNT EVEN BE ASSED TO DROP IT OFF AT THE RIGHT DOOR#im so mad i just wanted a fucking oliver man. i put in another service ticket but i doubt they will ship me another one#i dont Have another address for them to even ship to. im so mad im like crying right now#so frustrating!!!!! i want to support an indie creators work but i cant even get it bc makeship is a USELESS MERCH COMPANY#at this point im tempted to cancel my mingus plush order which sucks bc i REALLY want mingus!!! shes one of my favorite characters!!!#but if i have to go through this fucking rigomarole its not worth the $40!!!!
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ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS
#howling#had a lvl 1 trauma at abt 720#which sucks but we were managing fine#call er back at 750 as protocol to ask if theyve transfused and if theyll need more and to make sure they have a t&s ordered#secretary confirms that both units were transfused + they wont be needing more (lol) + a type and screen WAS drawn just not ordered yet#ok cool. all i have to do is wait for the specimen so i can crossmatch the units#im chilling in bloodbank doing bloodbank things#meanwhile. er calls the front desk (blood bank has a separate phone line. they specifically called the lab line instead)#lab assistant takes the call (like normal). theyre not sure what er said exactly but theyre planning to transfer the patient somewhere#and mentioned 'something like mpp???'#midnight tech was upfront and overheard. immediately asked if they meant MTP#lab assistant wasnt sure but said she had asked if er wanted to talk to blood bank (aka me) and they said no#both the assistant and the tech assumed that they DIDNT actually mean mtp because that would be fucking bonkers#if they casually mention it to a lab assistant and NOT FUCKING BLOOD BANK#and i didnt hear about this phone call until like maybe an hour or two later btw#anyways. yeah no they called an MTP#thats always fucking awful but they DID bring down the t&s partway thru#patient had no history and the only other specimens on file were drawn at the same time#so i order a confirmatory type to make things easier later on. it needs to be drawn by either the nursing team or by a lab assistant#screen is negative so at least we only need to do an immediate spin crossmatch on everything#we get all the units emergency issued + the platelets are ordered and issued normally after the t&s is done since it doesnt need a xmatch#er cancels the mtp. theyve transfused 6 out of the 8 units we sent them. two remaining units being sent to or#or is told directly that the mtp was canceled and that theyd need to call a new one if things escalate again#ok. things are calming down. its fine. i got all the xmatches done and theyre all compatible which is great#we get in a delivery from arc of platelets bringing us back up to 6 on the shelf (we need 5 on hand tomorrow morning for an open heart)#(at this point i find out about the phone call i mentioned earlier)#i get a call from or. my heart sinks immediately#or nurse says they need 2 rbcs and 2 platelets and theyre sending someone down RIGHT NOW to pick it up#we still hadnt gotten that confirmatory btw#im too stunned to say anything else so i just go ok. and hang up
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how I look suggesting to my group partners that we do our bio presentation on vultures
#reggietales#specifically how they evolved convergently and might throw in a note thrown in on conservation too bc theyre. in trouble!!!!!!#they said they didnt have any ideas and we needed a topic i was like 'well i do have one idea..........................'#they seemed receptive so we'll see. i feel kind of bad like im forcing them but!!!! augh!!!!!!! we needed a topic and i had that one in min#and they said they were cool with anything so. idk i stressed that we rly didnt have to do this topic i was just throwing out an idea i wan#them to be interested too. its not fun if their hearts arent in it. we can pick p much anything lets do something well all enjoy yk? augh#i hope its ok. i hope theyre not secretly mad at me. mayb i should have been quiet. idk#i hesitate to use the word neurodivergent to describe myself bc ive never been formally diagnosed with adhd or autism#and i also dont think im negatively impacted enough by any traits i share w those disorders to qualify to have them#but i am for sure fucking abnormal about birds and vultures like. hyperfixation is the only word that fits. maybe even special interest idk#like i almost dont WANT to do this topic it weirdly feels like. selfish??? idk im just. aaaahhhhh!!! lmao#*staring haggard and weary at myself in the mirror gripping the counter with a white-knuckled grip* i will be normal i will be normal i wil
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