#SOBBING INTERNALLY REALLY REALLY HARD RN...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
skrunksthatwunk · 10 months ago
Text
FINISHED GAIDEN
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#rgg gaiden spoilers in tags#GUH. SNIFF. GUH. BUHHHHBUHBUH. FUCK#!!!!! EUGHHHUGHHH#WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME GAIDEN WAS GOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AUUGGUHEHGEHHVBBBBGHHG#SOBBINGNH BAWLING THROWING UP SHUDDERING SNIFFLING LIMP DREADFUL UGHHGHUUHH#EUGHHHHHHHHHGYUGHHHHHGGH#SORRY I WAS GONNA REFLECT BUT I CANT STOP TEXT GROANING LIKE. HYUGHHHGGGHHH GUHHHHHH#SOBBING INTERNALLY REALLY REALLY HARD RN...#it was such a good final sequence... like the whole final fight was so good#AND UFHGEYHG EVERYONES REACTIONS TO KIRYU COMING BACK.. AND HIS TO THEM ...#majima veing like yeah ywah ok sure thing joryu just. just don't run off too soon arright? GUHHHHHBWAUUUUHHHGGUUGUUHHBBBHHHHHHHHNNGGGHHHH#WET PILE ON THE FLOOR#and it's such a good final fight and final occasion for what's probably gonna be kiryu's final solo finale yknow?#captured the spirits of the others while getting the emotion and the hype in a way i havent felt with the past couple antags#yumi ring post credit sequence..... awhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 ...... he loves her.....🤧🤧🤧#GYUGJH so glad to see rgg finally remembering yumi oughhguhhh and theres at least one papa kazama substory#and obv Tonight is there so like. the trio have been acknowledged which is nice#anyway very happy to see ichi again i miss him OH THE HIDDEN CAMERA SHIT. HRNGHHH NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THATTT#HGUHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNMMNRHRGZGZHJDBDBD BAWLING BAWLING BAWLIGN BAWLIGN BAWLING FUCKIGN SCREAMING‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#nooooooooooooo god it's so fucking sad dude... houghrhhgh like kiryu just crying and whimpering for a few minutes and the screen getting#more and more covered with his tears (and snot oops) and just. hububububhhhhh AND THE WAY HE LAUGHED WHEN THEY SAID NO ONE BELIEVED HE WAS#REALLY DEAD AT MORNING GLORY.. CUTE. YEAH WE ALL KNOW YOURE BAD AT DISGUISES I LOVE YOU FOREVER JORYU SUZUKI TAICHI#my heart.... kiryuuuuuuu kiryu i love you so much forever and everrrrrrrrr kiryujuiuuuuiu. GHRBMRNRNBSHAHSV#sad. sad sad sad. but not empty. never empty.#hhhnngnhnnn and like just. pshhhUGH i really liked the side characters this time around. akame and tsuruno and shishido and nishitani#BOY WAS I HAPPY TO SEE THE (LITERAL) BLOODLUST RETURN JDGDJS THAT SCENE WHERE HES LIKE joryu you got me ROCK HARD and tsuruno's like#p-patriarch?? LAUGHING MY FUCKIGN ASS OFF THAT SHIT WAS SO GOOD. THEY CALLED HIM A CAT IN HEAT STOPPPJDGSJSHS#and the lighting was pretty and the environments were gorgeous and i really liked everything i did#theyre starting to make the dragon engine combat good lol
11 notes · View notes
pumpomulos · 7 months ago
Text
wow after scream sobbing for an hour and a half i might actually miss my exwife
0 notes
atztranspm · 1 year ago
Text
Hongjoong PM 3 : 07/20/23
Tumblr media
(He also did a live with no chats so let me get my extra korean listening ears, cuz I'm ngl, not being fluent in korean sucks when it comes to lives. It's harder to pick up spoken words then texts so bare with me. It takes me longer to upload these cuz of it, so thank you for the patience <3)
So he started off the live saying that he had just gotten to the hotel, washed up and got ready to pack again. He said that he had a lot of fun at the concert and that everyone was so energetic. It was nice to see that and thanked jeddah for having ateez.
He thanked atiny for their love and support, it's what made the private jet and the presidential treatment come true for ateez. He said that riding in the private jet was like a dream and that he kept asking himself if this was a dream or if it was really happening. He was really thankful for atiny putting ateezs name out there cux he is able to experience so many cool and new opportunities (imma cry) he said for a majority of the plane ride he slept so he is well rested.
He said he wants to to be happy and show atiny a better side of himself. He is enjoy his time right now and all the things he gets to experience and he will continue to work hard for atiny and make us just as happy as we make him. (I'm sobbing rn, like hongjoong is so precious)
Someone brought up the pics from the recent magazine that was released. He said that there was lots of pics that he had taken (if u saw the photos, the clothes he's wearing are slightly revealing and so he spoke about that a little.) He was happy with the finished product of the photos and was glad that he was able to feel comfortable in the photoshoot and that they respected him and he said it was like a "safe place" cuz they had chosen the photos he felt most comfortable with in the end. He described it as one of the biggest challenges in his life cuz of this but in the end it all worked out well. (Love the confidence babe, love when they set boundaries and are comfortablewith the work they do)
He spoke a little English for international atiny cuz he knows there's no translation so he tries his best. He answered some basic questions and said he was thankful to atiny all over the world.
He wished us a good day and said that he hoped he could be our happiness to <3
(The first really quick live was lowkey a mistake. He was like "is this working?" And then ended it before doing the actual live)
6 notes · View notes
racingliners · 2 years ago
Text
F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 22 - Abu Dhabi
😭
Well friends, here we are 🥲
While it has been more enjoyable than I thought watching (almost) the entire season back, it’s also been very emo whenever the TV feed would cut to Seb and realise it was his last race at each circuit.
Obviously, I had to follow AD live in some way so I actually listened to the BBC Sport radio coverage for quali and the race, and then watched C4 highlights so I’ve heard the race in full and seen chunks of it (and I started full on ugly sobbing on the last lap at the time, bc you know, feelings)
Well, let’s whip out the tissues and see Seb’s last ever F1 race (😭😭😭😭😭)
How coherent will this liveblog be? Great question I have no idea
Also worth noting I’m watching the International feed, as I have done with the other 19 races, I’ll likely watch Seb’s onboard cam in my own time and blubber in peace
Also they really had Seb last on the F1 intro I’m not okay 😭
Less starting grid whiplash as I was vaguely aware of the grid order at the time
but SEB TOP 10!!!! 😭
argh, I’m getting emo already and we’re not even at the formation lap.
I genuinely thought I’d be fine watching this back, apparently not.
[Formation Lap]: Virtually everyone starting on the mediums apart from Kevin and Bottas on the hards and Gasly on the softs bc ?????
Also I find it so wild how close the battles for P2 in the drivers and constructors championships were like, especially when you consider how many more races Ferrari won compared to Merc
cut to Norbert and Antti in the AM garage 😭
[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis jumping Sainz at the start!! 🥳🥳
And Sainz pushes him off bc 🙃
[Lap 2]: Well that was a surprisingly eventful first lap, by Abu Dhabi standards anyway
I will not be talking about FIA bullshittery bc I want to be able to enjoy the rest of my day after this 🥲
[Lap 3]: Anyway Seb watch: He’s still in P9 💚
[Lap 4]: Bono sounding more done than normal at the FIA nonsense, a mood
[Lap 5]: And Lewis getting P4 back, noice
[Lap 6]: The Red Bulls being 2 and a bit seconds clear of everyone just about sums up 2022
Also like... having the final race of the season at Abu Dhabi is not the brightest idea bc the track is... eh.
I mean is it pretty and looks good on camera? Yes. Does it give us entertaining races? No.
[Lap 7]: Seb closing up to the back of Ocon, go get him!!!
(I am usually a pro-Estie Bestie household, but the needs of the Seb outweigh the needs of the many)
[Lap 8]: Sainz re-passing Lewis, I hate it here
but Seb and Esteban racing for 8th >>>>
midfield spice (beloved)
[Lap 9]: And Russell passes Lewis for 5th, I know Lewis eventually retires with a mechanical issue but I can’t remember what specifically
[Lap 10]: Lewis switching between engine modes and nothing works... pain
Meanwhile Seb is the filling in and Alpine sandwich 
yes I’m very biased, but I will never, ever tire of watching Seb race. It’s very beautiful to watch
And livery watch: Aston Martin under floodlights very very pretty
[Lap 12]: Another cut to ultimate Grid Dad Norbert in the AM Garage, and one of the AM mechanics sporting a very snazzy stache for Movember
god that shot of Seb trying to swoop round the outside of Esteban, fucking gorgeous
I mean he didn’t get the move done, but it was still beautiful 
[Lap 13]: I love how much the TV feed is sticking with the Seb vs Alpine battle, Seb and Fernando always know how to bring the drama no matter the season
and you know... it is by far the most entertaining action on track rn
[Lap 15]: and Esteban pits, mediums for hards
lol at Crofty saying Alpine had to tell Esteban and Fernando to behave themselves for their final race together, 
[Lap 16]: Lewis was on the radio saying his tyres were getting better????
This is the wonky timeline, rip “Bono my tyres are gone” 2014-2022
SEB PASSES PEREZ!!!!!
Oh, that sparks so much joy, Aston Martin 1, RBR 0
[Lap 17]: Meanwhile the rest of the front runners are making their first stops, but Russell had an unsafe release 😬
[Lap 18]: Anyway back to Seb vs Fernando, I genuinely could watch an entire race of them just cashing each other down - the poetic cinema of it all
[Lap 19]: Anyway Lewis thinks he has a broken floor so 🙃🥲
[Lap 20]: “He’s [Seb] entitled to fight Sainz every metre of the way” You’re damn bloody right he is Brundle!!!!
That’s my boooooooy
You keep that Ferrari behind you
nvm Sainz made a DRS pass
It was great fun while it lasted though
[Lap 21]: Seb in 5th, stioll yet to stop, iirc he was kept out for ages and ages bc ????
I love Team Green, I really do, but they are not immune to dumb strategies
also Russell given a 5 sec pen for the unsafe release
[Lap 22]: Charles pits for hards and comes out in 3rd in front of Sainz
Seb. Bottas and Kevin the only drivers left to pit
[Lap 23]: Lewis passes Seb for 6th, one last on track Seb and Lewis interaction 😭
Meanwhile Yuki, Bottas and Fernando are having a little scrap over 11th-13th
[Lap 24]: Fernando in 2010 🤝 Fernando in 2022: stuck behind a slower car at Abu Dhabi
ah, Lando adds himself to the “I passed Seb bc he hasn’t pitted” party
It’s fine it’s just bc they all want to see him and give him a proper send off right... right???
[Lap 25]: Seb having one last whine over team radio, which Chris saying that everyone around them is two-stopping, which means Seb is on the one stop
[Lap 26]: HE PITS!!! 😭
and it was a bit slow 🥲
“Is that Sebastian Vettel’s last ever F1 pit stop” Brundle please SHUT UP
Anyway it’s fine we get a Seb overtaking masterclass of making up 8 places over the second half of the race.
[Lap 27]: “Charles Leclerc catching Sergio Perez” Yes, good, excellent.
[Lap 28]: Aaaaaand Alonso DNF. (Helmet watch: no I am still not over his Seb tribute helmet 😭)
And speaking of, Seb just passed Gasly for 16th, the comeback is on besties!!!
[Lap 29]: Livery watch: you know what... I don’t hate the matte Ferrari under the floodlights actually. I will let it off just this once (though pleeeeeease bring black glossy liveries asap I MISS THEM)
[Lap 30]: Perez asking for Verstappen to speed up so he can gain some distance on Charles... if I speak
Anyway, back to Seb, now in P15 after passing Bottas.
And Gasly passed Bottas as well after Bottas locked up.
the replay of Seb’s mechanics applauding his overtake I’m 😭💚
[Lap 32]: Tag yourself I’m Shaquille O’Neal looking very happy to be seeing some F1 cars go zoom
[Lap 33]: Charles is almost in DRS range of Perez 👀
“Lewis is closing in on Russell is anything” putting that broken floor in it’s place, as he should
[Lap 34]: Ah, Perez pits. inch resting.
Lewis purple sector one, feels good feels organic
also helmet watch: Lando’s ultra-black stripes with the metallic blue is sooooo pretty. I love mixed finishes on helmets. JMD never misses.
[Lap 35]: Seb watch: they didn’t play it, but he’s up to P14!!!
[Lap 36]: “Question can you keep this pace with Plan C?” Xavi I will fight you with my fists
I genuinely have mild trauma now whenever I see the Ferrari team radio graphic come up on screen. The downside of watching the 2022 season across 12 weeks 🙃
[Lap 37]: Seb up to P13 after Albon’s stop.
Also it’s proper night time now. Yas Marina is pretty I will give her that.
[Lap 38]: Oh Lewis has been catching up to Russell! He’s within DRS range
“Let me tell you about Sebastian Vettel” We are Ted and Ted is us 💚
[Lap 39]: Mick and Nicky having a little spin into the barriers 🙃🙃🙃
Yuki pits, Seb up into P12!!
Lewis even closer to George since he’s suddenly somehow a chunk faster
[Lap 40]: ah, Sainz and Russell pits. 
Mick and Nicky now under investigation for their little spin.
Yelling. Sainz and Russell pitting puts Lewis into third. !!!!
I shouldn’t laugh, but the synchronised spin with Mick and Nicky is ever so slightly funny. Very dance of the sugarplum fairies.
[Lap 41]: Lance pits, Seb is into P11!!!!
Ted doing everything he can to manifest Seb points on his last race I cannot 😭
How has Teed been post-Seb retirement? Is he okay? Do we need to book in another Seb nation group cry and invite him along?
anyway, racing
[Lap 43]: Seb half a second behind Zhou!!!
and again he tries round the outside, doesn’t make it stick but it looks beautiful!!
Meanwhile Lance has joined the party after making his second stop.
[Lap 44]: and Seb makes the pass!! HE’S INTO P10!!!! 🥳🥳🥳
Lewis P3, Seb P10. We can stop the race now. 
“I forgot which letter of the alphabet we’re trying this afternoon” I feel like it’s a bit of a paddock in-joke about Ferrari and their strategy woes at this rate 
[Lap 45]: Perez passes Lewis but then Lewis re-passes him. That was fun actually.
“Like some sort of sleeping praying mantis” ...okay Crofty. (that was about Lewis btw)
[Lap 46]: Perez passes Lewis and makes it stick this time. 
[Lap 47]: *10 Laps remaining klaxon*
“Just tell Checo to go full send” Maybe I’m biased but if I was his team mate I would not find that helpful in the slightest adfvnifvfdvgh
[Lap 48]: “Sebastian Vettel is gaining a bit on Daniel Ricciardo” oh yeah
[Lap 49]: Finally Crofty is getting on the livery watch bandwagon, F1 cars do look pretty under floodlights
argh Lance passes Seb for P10, but granted he was faster 🥲
and Seb having another little whine, god I miss his sarcy team radios.
[Lap 50]: “Yeah leave me alone please thank you” CHARLES I ADORE YOU
You tell em hun, you tell Ferrari to fuck off, I’m so proud.
[Lap 51]: And Lance passes Dan for P9
[Lap 52]: Seb also catching up to Dan
also I forgot how late on Lewis’ DNF was sheesh
also also he just got a black and white flag for track limits svhaegheuh
[Lap 54]: Mick and Bottas having a very spicy little fight for 16th.
[Lap 55]: Meanwhile Perez is about 4 second behind Charles
ughhhhhhhhh and there’s Lewis hydraulic failure 😭😭😭😭
Pain, so so much pain. But it does put Seb in the points. Lewis we honour your sacrifice. I’ll join you to smash the W13 to pieces very soon.
[Lap 57]: I find it so wild that despite all the W13′s failing, that was it’s first mechanical DNF for the entire season. WILD.
the gap between Charles and Perez down to just under 2 seconds.
[Lap 58]: Final lap. and I’m once again a little bit weepy.
I do not give one shit about Verstappen show me Seb 😭
I’m literally just watching Seb’s name on the leaderboard.
[Finish]: Verstappen wins, no one is surprised. Charles finishes P2 and clinch the runners up spots in the drivers and constructors titles.
ahhhhhh Seb chasing down Dan!!!!
and Seb finishes P10. I am weeping at quarter to 1 on a Wednesday morning 😭
Well the race was very meh. Mild midfield spice with the proper battles for almost all the positions from P2 downwards. And a lot of it was down to strategy as opposed to actual racing. So overall a very average 6 front wings out of 10.
And whew, the 2022 season as a whole. We really thought it was going to be a proper title fight after Australia and then Ferrari happened 🥲.
However, my beloved midfield spice saved the season, with Alpine v McLaren and Aston Martin vs Alfa Romeo especially. Like honestly just ignore the title fight and watch the midfield it’s so much more enjoyable (especially with the way 2023 looks to be going asduhsui).
Anyway, the whole reason why I started this was to watch Seb’s last season and there was some great races, some very not good races, but I will forever be so so proud to call him my favourite driver (yes he’s still my fave after retiring this is my blog I can do what I want).
The 2002 season was certainly something. While the title fight wasn’t as entertaining as it could have been, we still had some decent races (Monaco, Silverstone, Austria and Brazil were my faves). And I think we all have the Dutch and Austrian anthems burned into our memories to come degree 🥲. 
Auf wiedersehen, and danke fur alles Seb 💚
1 note · View note
captainaikus · 2 years ago
Note
✨Third one✨ (part 1)
ASJJFYJKHFTUJHG. As soon as I saw the header with Oliver I know it was finally time. LET THE FLIRTY-PLAYBOY-BABYGIRL SERIES BEGIN!!!!
I wanted to take my time diving into this fic and really digest and understand it as much as I can on my first read because I know it’ll be amazing so I saved it for last.
Love the setting up. The description is fantastic. Ohhhh there’s an older sister huh? I wonder if that relationship will come into play later 👀👀. PSHHHHHHHH THEIR FIRST INTERACTION IS LITERALLY COMPARABLE TO TWO JUDGY BRATS PLS ADJMHGGJNNH. This is amazing I already love where this is going Belle. Oh and they tolerate each other now? Hmmmm very much the potential for ignored feelings. “You can pay me back when you become a football star” oh ho ho making promises for the future already are we now? Loving how y/n is a tsundere but still shows that she cares. It’s really cute and adorable. ASHKKGFKKJHGGGG WHY IS IT ALWAYS 16 💀💀??? When I was 16 I was busy trying to survive high school, pass my classes, and watching anime. And here we have realizations of love already what?? Not a problem at all tho I love how quick this is moving along. Getting to the meat of it soon I hope. GASPS YOU DID NOT!!!! AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES ASDJKGGHJHHHG YESSSSSS. NAHHHHH STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU HE REALLY PULLED THE GAY ROOMMATE CARD OLIVER ISTG IF YOU DONT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR- ahem anyways tough luck y/n stay strong girl 😭😤. Not you already being his wife what is this married-with-benefits 💀💀. Oliver wake up and kiss her already idc if it’s only chapter one 🙄😤🤚🏼. Oh thank God the sisterhood is safe *sighs in relief* as much as I love the drama that would’ve occurred if it had gone “that” route there seriously needs to be more loving sister relationships in writing, blood related or not. We Stan a supportive older sister 😤😤 (that digs up our buried love feelings for us even though we buried then for a reason 💀💀). LOVING THE ADVICE YES PUT YOURSELF FIRST YOU CANT WAIT FOR SOMEONE FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL YOU SEE IN THEM AND STUNG YOUR OWN GROWTH IF THE TIME IS RIGHT ITLL HAPPEN. This is making me cry what the heck. I really needed to hear a variation of this at many points in life. I swear to God if Oliver starts coming around right after we start moving on I’m gonna riot. On the other hand love how y/n is starting to be real with herself like yes sweetheart you deserve better (and you’ll get that in him after you both grow separately ofc). OH ITS GONNA BE DUAL POV????? HECK YEAH GIMME THE TINY DETAILS FROM THE OTHER PERSON!!!! Oof not the wedding invite scenario pls this reality setting in part is hurting me so much legit tearing up rn gimme a minute Belle 😭😭. *sniffles* but the GROWTH it’s the first step y/n I know it’s hard but you gotta separate honey 😭😤. NO PLS GOD NO HOW DARE HE COME BACK AS IM SOBBING WHAT THE HECK OLIVER PRIVACY MAN. Not him giving you physical affection right when you’re most vulnerable and coming to terms with getting over him and looking all worried LIKE NO STOP THIS IS NOT HELPING OLI. Oh no not the alcohol 💀💀. This is gonna go great just fantastic isn’t it? *inhales deeply* Belle I’m not joking when I say that I was screaming internally the entire sex scene LIKE WHAT. Kicking my feet blushing and everything. It really felt so real. And the dialogue??? Magnificent!!! Tbh it was my favorite part. In my head I was like “NOOOOOOOO” when you kissed him but at the same time “…yes” when it started getting steamy and the teasing plus the praise??? Kill me now why don’t you. NOOOOO NOT THE AWKWARD MORNING *sobs* I mean I was expecting it but like. Serious. Emotional. Damage. 😭😭😭. Oh no. No you can’t be serious. Tearing up again hold on. The eavesdropping on the phone convo broke my heart seriously ouch. Not the way I gasped when he just walked passed the suitcases. Ahh yes. The m word huh? Excuse we while I go sob again. Almost nothing hurts worse than being called a mistake. Either from yourself or others it’s never fun. Speaking from experience. I knew the emotional outburst confession was coming. I knew. But still. Damn. If only everything could be fixed by telling your feeling out. Love her for that. Finally coming clean with everything. Also Oliver’s being such a jerk and an asshole rn but I know the later redemption is gonna be worth it. Still pissed at him rn tho.
- ✨ anon
✨Third one✨ (part 2) It really made me make a part two because the word count was too high the heck.Still pissed at him rn tho. Anyways moving on. I freaking adore how she also wrote her current feelings down as a part of the first letter. And how she just. Didn’t hesitate. And moved on. We’ve got a flight to catch. Oh my God that fic was amazing. Seriously. You outdid yourself. The pacing was fast enough that it didn’t feel dragged out. The characterization was absolutely on point. The oc characters had their own personalities no matter how few lines they had. The dialogue was emotional and to the point. And it was just overall really realistic in the sense of being human, loving, hurting, and moving on. It made me cry so many times. I had to take so many breaks Belle. It was seriously amazing and I loved it so much. I cant wait for the second chapter whenever it comes out!!! - ✨ anon
I read this ask over 20 times (or maybe more already) cause i love it when people go over the details of my writing and you got all of them! (⋟﹏⋞) Thinking if i should make a note of recommended songs before the chapter so that it make it a more immersive experience? The original setup was supposed to be different back in August, but then I came up with this in September. Mei was a part of the story, but the age gap was a really big one - and i had to make a change midway, so mei is 3 years older than (y/n)... I wanted to keep the pacing of the story to a medium because sometimes the details and the amount of drama that happens is such a drag that I wanted to move past that and onto the real stuff; not to mention that if i did drag it out, it would be more than 5 chapters. Mei and (y/n)'s relationship is gonna have more emphasis as the story progresses (cause honestly this is a simple plot but a very complicated one to explain and I don't wanna give away spoilers cause I wanna just see the reaction you guys are gonna give me) and most of the lines that i used in the first part are the ones that are going to be covered in the latter part of the series. it is going to be a dual pov (spoilers for part 2; the story is gonna be from Oliver's pov.) oh god- and this was the first part💀. you might need the whole box of tissues honestly for the onslaught that's gonna come. (i did cry btw. I ate the jar of nutella in such short time for a reason) The sex was such a drag to write honestly 💀 cause i was just not feeling it. Like really not feeling it; and i wanted to get to the conclusion and the angst (cause the potential for dialogue and feelings is high in those areas) but in the end, it ended up being satisfactory when i read it. Leaving the alcohol part out, everyone's first time should be a fun one and my attempt at keeping your standards and expectations high . (you saying that it felt real made my day, cause often times when i read smut, i really can't relate to it cause it straight up sounds like porn sometimes and porn is very unrealistic.) As for the concluding part of it, i had a bit of a struggle cause (y/n) needed a reason to back away from Oliver and the eavesdropping on the other side of the door was the last straw. And then... I just let my fingers do the magic, just typing everything out.
The amount of times I cried cause of the songs I used to write all of this, and the fact that it hits close to home. The second part is going to go on the ao3 account... still deciding the username i want so that i can upload my works there
But thank you for liking and reading it - cause i really enjoyed writing this one. i've already decided the songs i want to put for the next chapter
4 notes · View notes
ffsg0jo · 6 months ago
Text
the way i would've moved cities so fast after realising what ive done nuh uhhhh id have a panic attack and lock myself in a cave or something
he replied positively 🥲🥲🥲 his reactions gonna kill me i know it is ik im gonna hate him
probably not even kittens and rainbows - that man and his ugly yellow sweater defo internally coos over kittens. with his cute lil sticker
girl me tooo i have interview today but you best believe all im gonna be thinking about is aizawa HE WANTS YOU SO FUCKING BADDDD BUT IK HES NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING AND HES GONNA IGNORE IT
I'd quit tbh BUT it depends on how much they're paying you
Everytime the word inevitable is dropped I giggle I just think it's the best thing ever
"The turbulence feels like home" - painfully relatable and understandable. when you're in a relationship like that it's so so hard to leave because you're so desperately grasping onto the few good things and change can be so scary. When someone's all you know it's so hard to let go, fearing change
This whole situation is the equivalent of stepping ashore and being immediately hit by a semi truck. - hearing you bestie honestly fr
thick thighs and thick cock god i want him so bad ughhhh if he wasn't a cunt he'd be so delicious BUTTTTTT is that not why he's so attractive at the same time 🤭
izukus got himself a rich fiance 🤭🤭 go get it bestie i support you !!!!
also REALLLLLL me seeing 6 year olds with the latest i phone like girllll my first phone was when i was 17 😐😐
Denki should come with a trigger warning that man is NOT good for our health nearly running reader over
"Being owned by denki clearly took a toll" - I love him your honour. Not like that more like a little (really) annoying brother but I love him
EWEWWWWW WHYS HE KISSING THE LIPS BESTIE YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDARIES FR FRRR GIRL PICK YOUTSRLG UP OFF THE FLOO4 !!!!!!
called you yesterday did he 🤭🤭 was it before or after he came to reader's tit pics🤭🤭
"Wait no you're thirty" - LMFAOOOOOOO SO REAL FOR THAT TBH
I've realised I'm so gen z with my reactions and I hate it i wanna be a more distinguished gentle(wo)man but I'm on 3 hours sleep rn
“-We drug test here?” “We do?” Denki gapes. “Fuck, good to know.” - boy i stg if you don't. he's actually so funny please please don't let gim get fired he's the best guy around frrr I love denki he's so funny but also jarring but funny
Just as you're about to change your mind on aizawa the stupid prat hits you with the let's forget about it. What if that was my last straw 😐 adding him as my 14th reason
"You wonder if he's coming to kiss you" - reader's inner monologue is so painfully real i feel like she genuinely is me at this point
“I-” What do you need? Confirmation? Reassurance? An explanation? “Uh-” - reassurance would be nice tbh I'd never say no to that
"I've always wanted you, you don't feel the same but maybe, just maybe, you could learn to" - gonna cry im sobbing right now she's so sweet and doesn't deserve the heartbreak and the general shittiness
“Let’s save each other the embarrassment and forget everything that happened yesterday.” The coffee pot clinks back into place, only the legs of droplets left to cling to the glass. “We’re out, by the way.” - next time i see him it's on sight. we're fighting. idc what hizashi says we are scrapping.
WHAT IF THAT WAS MY LAST STRAW WHY DOES HE GET BETTER AND THEN WORSEEE UGHHHHHH AIZAWA YOU FOOOLLLLLL IM GONNA THROTTLE YOUUU YOU EMOTIONALLY STUNTED HUNK JUST TALK JUST COMMUNICATE PLEASE
no because im thinking about it now even if he did see denki and reader .... bro denki? are you being fr? denki of all people?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Inevitable Things: chapter four
aizawa x reader fic
cw: cisfem reader, no quirks, office au, miscommunications, slow burn. full tags available on AO3 (linked in masterlist)
Tumblr media
previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter
Tumblr media
Five messages. 
Four texts, one video. 
The message preview stares back at you, the LED screen aglimmer in the morning sun, screen bouncing with the tremor of your hand. You're breathing, you're sure of that, but you also think you may have died; no matter how hard you breathe, your chest feels like a popped balloon, deflated and too ripped to hold air. The rush of something whizzing past your ear must be blood, it's too resonant and all encompassing to be anything else--
Five fucking messages. 
You can’t bring yourself to open any of them.
You stand there for longer than you’d like to admit, trying to process exactly what you’re looking at. Maybe it’s a glitch, or a typo, but when you turn your phone off and back on again, the unread messages pop up the same. Five unread messages from Aizawa Shouta. It makes sense logically; Aizawa is right above AVOID AT ALL COST in your contacts, you must have just clicked the incorrect thing in your drunken stupor--
But what doesn’t make sense is the fact that he replied-- and he replied positively. Aizawa Shouta does not respond positively to anything. Not the first cup of coffee in the morning, not his interns, probably not even kittens and rainbows, and yet he messaged you back. I’ve always wanted you. You refuse to reread anything from last night, but that sticks in your head.  
I’ve always wanted you. 
You think about it the entire train ride, nibbling on the edges of your nails to kill the anxious buzz that builds in your jaw. Maybe you should quit. You could change your name and move to some mid-sized city; that’d be easier than the inevitable mess you're headed towards.  Suddenly, you miss yesterday, the yelling, the aggression-- 
It goes back to Touya. You know the question on everyone’s mind when they see you together, when they hear about the fights and the tension and the isolation: why? Why him, why stay, why wait, why, why, why? The answer is as simple as it is stupid: you stay because it's what you know. The turbulence feels like home. 
It's like sea legs. When sailors are on boats for a long time, they stop feeling the rock and roll of each wave. It becomes easy to walk straight, to live life like normal, until they return to shore. There, on level streets, long after the tide has pulled away, is where the waves hit.
You've learned to live in rocky waters- you’ve practically perfected it. Touya is your ship and you know his yaws and keels better than you know stability. 
 This whole situation is the equivalent of stepping ashore and being immediately hit by a semi truck.
The train pulls into your station and you debate staying on for a moment too long. I’ve always wanted you. That sentence makes your stomach turn. What does that mean? Is it solely physical? Is it more?
No, it can’t be. This man hates your guts; there’s no feelings between you other than mild, stupid lust.
Which makes you debate your own feelings. He's certainly… well, he’s not ugly. You’d even say, maybe, perhaps, in the right angles, he’s attractive, especially with this thick thighs and thicker cock-
The train doors almost close before you can scuttle out. Focus, girl, focus. Fighting through your surprisingly aching body and returning headache, you briskly walk the rest of the way to work, trying to think about anything other than the shitshow you’re about to walk into.
Prome is a half mile walk from the station, with only one tiny dash across a busy road. It’s not ideal, but it’s the only option you have right now. The interns have started a carpool, but you’re too old to be riding with them. Besides, Bakugo Katsuki’s car is nice. It’s embarrassing the have worse things than a college student-
  A familiar dented, red car squeaks to a halt inches from your ass, so close that you can feel the wind displaced. The squeal of tires steals your breath away and your body clenches in fear, so hard that your muscles scream. You jump and start blabbering in surprise, shouting out unearned apologies as you skitter back. It takes a second to gather yourself, but, when you do, you see a boy jut his head out of the window, all toothy smiles and bleach blonde hair.
“Hey!” he shouts. “If it isn’t my hero!”
“Denki?”
Kaminari Denki waves to you, sunshine personified behind the wheel of a truck without a bumper.
“Hold on, lemme park!”
The red monstrosity barely fits in a space. In its prime, it was probably a pretty car, but being owned by Denki clearly took a toll. The inside is littered with empty energy drink cans, clinking and sloshing as he throws the car into park and launches himself out. There's a reason he's not a part of the group's carpool.
“I could fucking kiss you right now!” He envelopes you in open arms, manhandling you side to side over and over in an overly friendly display. 
“Oh, please don't-- Denki!” 
He smashes his face into your cheek with a chaste, yet somehow wet smooch. When you try to squirm away, he doubles down; his lips actually make contact with yours, just for a moment, awful and impossibly damp. 
“Ew, gross! Get off!” You pry him off and wipe the slime off of your lips with the back of your hand. “Don’t do that!”
“Sorry, my bad, I’m just--” he laughs,  “Izuku told me you saved my ass!”
   You don’t mention the fact you’re the reason he was in trouble in the first place because you're too busy processing this information.
“Aizawa rehired you?”
“He called me yesterday and apologized, which was, holy shit, it was insane,” Denki says, with a wave of his hands, like it isn’t a shocking turn of events. “What did you do?”
“Nothing, I just, uh--” You grimace at the thought. “I talked to Toshinori. And cried a little.”
In retrospect, it does seem like overkill, but it worked.
“Do that more often!” He goes in for another hug and you reluctantly let him. He smells like axe body spray and cheap deodorant. God, he’s so young-- even the accidental kiss feels dirty. You have to remind yourself that he’s early twenties, really only a couple years younger than you-- wait, no. You’re thirty.  “I owe you my life! And my diploma!”
You still can't believe it. Aizawa, hard ass Aizawa, changed his mind? That couldn't be because of you. He's made people cry before, why would you be different-?
Oh. I've always wanted you.
That thought hits you like a punch to the gut.
Maybe it isn't just physical.
You have to shake your head to clear away that thought. You brush your clothes off and adjust yourself. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”  
“I’ll buy you a coffee.” He coos as you walk in. The security guard gives you both a curious look, eyebrows wiggling conspiratorially. You just ignore that and focus on getting to your desk. It's almost nine; you're both late.  “And anything you want-- alcohol, weed-”
“-We drug test here?”
“We do?” Denki gapes. “Fuck, good to know.”
Maybe saving him wasn’t a good career move.  You make it to your desk and drop your stuff on the group. Denki has been following you like a puppy, nipping at your heels the whole way.
“Just… please don’t get fired again." You jerk a head towards his department. "Go do your work."
“Absolutely!” He prances down the hall, wrinkled tie flapping in his wake.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
You can’t believe he’s here. Truly. All of that worry and stress yesterday feels worth it as you settle into your desk. You clack a couple of keys to wake up your screen-- but there’s no response. After a moment, you try again, then again. A wiggle of the mouse does the trick, but the keyboard still doesn’t wake up when you try to type in your password. 
Crap. You split that coffee yesterday. The circuit or whatever must be fried. Great. Today is going to be pretty unproductive if you don’t solve this issue.
Engineering probably has a couple of extras, but you aren’t sure you’re ready to walk straight into the lion’s den, especially now that you aren’t sure how you feel about it all. The fact he rehired Denki does make you feel a bit better; maybe Hizashi and Nemuri were right and he’s actually a good guy. And, you can’t deny that you’re a tiny bit attracted to him now that you’ve seen… everything. 
Ugh, you need to make up your fucking mind and decide how you feel about all of this--
At that moment, Aizawa Shouta stomps down the hall, expression as flat and hard as ever. He looks the same as he always does, stupid yellow sweatshirt, messy black hair, under eye circles deep enough to worry about, but your chest hiccups at the sight. You don’t have a plan for this, no prepared speech or anything. For a moment, you wonder if he’s coming to kiss you or ravage you, like in one of those romance novels that are popular online-
And then he passes you and heads straight for the coffee machine. Relief washes over you, then confusion.  Not even a hint of attention thrown your way. That’s fairly strange-- you usually get at least a nod or a lukewarm greeting. You push off of your chair and join  him the the station.
“Hey, um-” Your idle hands dig into the sugar packets, jostling them side to side. The pitch of the coffee hitting the inside of his mug changes as he pours, pitch creeping higher and higher.  His jawline is dusted with a five o’clock shadow, flickers of salt and pepper across his skin and down to the curve of his adam’s apple. You said something about shaving last night, you think. You wonder if he listened or if this is how it’s always been-
“Do you need something?”  He interrupts your thoughts, not even looking away from the station.
“I-” What do you need? Confirmation? Reassurance? An explanation? “Uh-”
You suck in a breath and steel yourself, legs shoulder width again from that extra boost of stability. Your voice comes out as a whisper, much shakier than it should be.  I've always wanted you. You don't feel the same, but maybe, just maybe, you could learn to.
“Yesterday-- or, uh, last night- I just want to--”
“Let’s save each other the embarrassment and forget everything that happened yesterday.” The coffee pot clinks back into place, only the legs of droplets left to cling to the glass. “We’re out, by the way.”
And with that, he’s gone.
And a second truck has sideswiped you.
294 notes · View notes
hakkais-hoe · 3 years ago
Text
Random Nsfw Headcannons
Age warning: 18+ mdni ty
Idk how my brain works but I just feel like they do these 🤷‍♀️
These are like either during sex, sexy things they do or stupid things they’ve done.
Warnings: noting too major, just shit they enjoy or don’t or strange things they do. It’s all sex shit tho
Pt.2
▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️
Ran and Koko both love being overstimulated. They keep going till they’re practically sobbing n shootin blanks.
Kakucho needs intense after care in the form of affirmations that you love him and being able to lay his head on your chest to feel your heartbeat
Rindou likes choking you
Chifuyu has to have his hair pulled to cum
Taijus favourite position is missionary, (he’s a basic bitch) but it’s because he can see how pretty you look screaming his name
Sanzu has a blood kink (might as well be cannon)
South, Draken, Mucho and Hanma have a massive n I mean massive size kink, they want to be able to completely subdue you easily (voluntarily ofc)
Mikey can’t let you reverse cowgirl him cos he cums in seconds 😮‍💨
Sanzu has a corruption kink
Inupi absolutely dies when you ride him on his chair also leaves bruises on ya hips from the force of restraining himself from meeting each of ya bounces
Takeomi once accidentally dropped ash in your hair when you were blowin him, safe to say he’s not allowed to smoke when you’re below him anymore
Rindou and Ran are massive believers in treating vibrators and sex toys as their best friends if ygm 😩
Smiley once let you pull his hair durin sex n almost cried when you pulled a bit out (you’re not allowed near his hair during anything sexual now)
Angry whines when you ride him but goes absolutely feral n blows your back out when he’s on top
Speaking of feral our winners for that shit are: Sanzu, South, Hanma (but he’s rly mean too), Shion and Angry.
Hakkai forgets how big his dick is way too much n hardly preps ya before literally tryna shove it in (please remind him)
Mitsuya is 100% a service dom this man will treat you like pure royalty when he’s fuckin ya (and when he’s not but that’s irrelevant rn)
Kokonoi always,always, always buys ya something with his name on that you have to wear when he fucks ya
Taiju once spanked ya so hard he left a hand print bruise with one hit, the safe word was used that day
South is a complete bastard on your first time with him, called ya some nasty names n you didn’t call him back 😂 he had to come find ya after that
Mucho is way, way too silent when he’s rearranging your internal organs, literally just stares down at you with a straight face for a while, you’re gonna have to tell him that you wanna hear him too ngl
Shions dick once accidentally slapped you right in the face, didn’t ruin the mood but he had to take a five minute break to catch his breath (this man laughs like a hyena too)
Hanma does not know when to ease up with the choking
Mikey can go from the most gentle n sweet thrusts to the most aggressive feral pounding in seconds.
Rindou uses you as a stress reliever, but in a kinda attractive way. Literally comes home n is like “we’re gonna fuck right now” n walks off
Shion n Kakucho have really pretty dicks
Inupi is a massive tease when he first wakes up, this dickhead literally wakes you up with his head between ya legs n a grin on his face or he wakes ya up by grinding his clothed erection into you
Peh-Yan once slung his tie around your neck n used it to choke you while he fucked you on his desk
Sanzu can be unusually gentle with you when he’s been off his “meds” for a few hours, speaks in muttered whispers while he’s treating you like glass
Takeomi always goes with deep n slow thrusts, so gentle yet absolutely mind blowing, it may be gentle but you can practically feel him in your stomach with the way he moves
Taiju always wears condoms unless you’ve both talked throughly about it
Kazutoras moans are really really pretty, even when he’s blowin ya back out he’s practically whining n drooling
Chifuyu likes to bite you on the shoulder when he cums
Shinichiro, Keizo and Wakasa are the most likely to paint ya insides when you squeeze them too tight n it tips them over
Keizo always n I mean always lifts you up n man handles you when you fuck
Wakasa massages ya thighs when he’s in the mood but in a nonchalant way like he’s kind of doing it without thinking
Shinichiro is the king of asking if your okay or if anything hurts, 100% affirmation king too
Draken always does that cheek squeeze/pat thing when he cums in ur mouth with a “you did well”
Hakkai gets unusually dominant when you’re being a little shit n pissin him off
▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️
M ngl this is some of the randomness that my brain comes up with 😂
Taglist: @loonashadow @haitink @soushswag @bontensbabygirl @roppongiperfume @wakasagurl @sunahyejin @reiners-milkbiddies @pervitoshi
3K notes · View notes
bitchyfoxymama · 2 years ago
Text
Make Room For It - Karev x F!Reader
Tumblr media
Ahhh my first Grey's Anatomy Post!!! And it's for my fav Peds Doc!! 😍 I hope you enjoy this I was consistently watching til around season 6 then stopped but have been popping in when my mom and sis watch rn just to check in on my babies.
WARNINGS: Spoilers for Grey's Anatomy season 8 episode 24, mentions of the incident, fluff, depression
********
Empty, numb, heartbroken, all things you felt since you found out about the plane crash and the fact that Lexi wasn't here anymore. You had a stupid fight the night before about forgetting to do your laundry and her scolding you. 
You never said "I love you" to her before she left along with Mer and the other on that stupid surgery. You were so stupid! Stupid to let a stupid fight from telling your sister you loved her. 
You had Mer sure and you were so grateful to still have her but you and lexi grew up together, your bond was stronger, she was your person, quiet like Christina was Merideth's. 
The point is that you were grieving, work became hard, you would make small slip ups, forgetting why you'd enter a room or forgetting the patient's name. It all became too much so you took an early lunch and fled to one of the on-call rooms, locking it with shaking hands. 
You slide down the door and just let all the emotions you've been keeping inside finally free, all the guilt, regret and sadness fall from your eyes. When you had run off what you didn't notice was a certain intern had seen you rush past. 
You were pulled out of your crying session when there was a knock on the door. 
"THE ROOMS IN USE!" You shout, but another knock comes again. Your annoyed now, you mind going on how you want to scream at the person whose interrupted your much needed cry time, but before you can get up a voice comes through the closed door. 
"Hey, it's uh me. Look I know I'm probably the last person you wanna talk to right now but will you just let me in?" Of course it's Alex. 
You've been seeing him on and off again for a few months, but have since stopped since the accident. 
You get up and slowly unlock the door before going to sit on one of the beds while he gently opens the door and locks it once more. 
"I saw you run in here and had to check in on you" he says as he comes to sit next to you on the bed, placing a hand on your knee. 
"Thanks but I'm fine really, you didn't need to come check on me Alex," you quickly wipe away your tears. 
"Yeah well I care about you, and seeing you run in here upset alone, well I had to help you," he says pulling you into a hug. The contact made the tears fall once more. You didn't know how much you needed the comfort of a person. You hadn't gone to Merideth since but having Alex hold you while you cried, triggered something inside of you. 
The sobs wrecked through your body as you gripped tightly onto his scrubs.
"Does it ever stop hurting?" You cry out. 
"No, you just make room for it" he says rubbing his hand down your back. 
Your crying session continues until you are both paged, you look up at him, eyes red and puffy. 
"Oh no, I got your scrubs all icky and gross," you wipe your face. 
"Ah it's fine I've had worse cover my scrubs, but we should probably answer this page," he says, giving you one of his award winning smiles. 
You both get up off the bed but before either of you can leave you pull him into a gentle kiss. 
"Thank you, for everything," you say as you walk out of the room. 
You leave him there with a smile upon his face. 
348 notes · View notes
snakeeater3d-blog · 7 years ago
Text
whys this week been so bad for me?
3 notes · View notes
slutfor-fictionalmen · 4 years ago
Note
hi hi! I hope this message isn’t too late or anything, since I only just seen the one you send me this morning! Also I accidentally deleted your messages while trying to reply 🤦‍♀️
But if it’s still alright, may I request an Armin Arlert x slightly thicker/chubby reader? just something soft and simple! maybe he’s noticed that the reader doesn’t eat very much anymore, and is skipping meals, and he confronts her about it, because he doesn’t want her getting sick or something happening. She obviously gets a little upset about it, and like, tells him she’s been having a hard week and has been super insecure lately. She just doesn’t like the way she looks, and Armin comforts her and stuff! All the love and cuddles! 🥰 I’m in need for this rn honestly 😭
I hope i did it right!! Things are more internalized due to my own self indulgence, i hope you like it!!
Tw: self harm(starving) 
Another day passed, and you hated being in the corps more and more, with the men objectifying you and the women with their fake smiles and judgemental looks, aside from Mikasa that is. You felt her hand on your shoulder, staring right back at them as you passed.
She was the only girl-friend you’ve ever had, which makes your bond with each other especially strong, she called you her therapy stuffed animal( in a good way) with how loving and kind you were when she came home to eren’s house. You were always there, you gave her her first jacket, you bear-hugged her when she was at her worst and missed her parents, you stood by her and never faltered. Even going as far as telling off Eren for being tactless to her feelings, poor boy has no social cues.
Eren loved you for how truly different you really are, despite being an only child, you were his sister, as much as a pain in the ass you are. But this called for you being apart of his and Mika’s friend group with no doubt. Being part of erens tight knit group of friends means you were automatically loved by eren, mika…. And armin.
You always had a fondness for the shy blonde, his all bark and no bite nature stole your heart. You met at a young age but only connected through Eren, he always tells you to thank him for that introduction despite your efforts to play off your crush being in vain. You loved how… pure he looked, how in a world full of death and violence, he could always bring light into your day with a smile or a story. No matter what you could count on his smile,you could count on him.
That’s why you hated today with a passion.
“We have extra food, which one of you dumbasses didn’t eat all your shit?” You sighed, walking away from the situation you caused. It wasn’t a good day, their comments bugged you today for some reason, and Armin wasn’t there to perk up the atmosphere of this gloomy day. Making it unreasonably difficult for you to focus on your own health today, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. It’s been a week of irregular meals, constant moving, and titan stress. It wasn’t like you were trying to starve, you just didn’t have the time.
And you didn’t notice till today.
“Lookin’ thinner, bunny… are you eating well?” You ignore eren’s concerned comment, pressing forward with the group in disturbed silence. This was the fifth comment today about your looks that you’ve gotten. You weren’t a small person, you had extra meat, and you had curves, paired with your adorable tiger stripes, but you know for a fact that starving this little would not affect your appearance that much. It irritated you, and you vowed to tell off the next person who said anything.
“Y/n can-“ “Oh my GOD, are you SERIOUS? I’ve been eating! I havent lost that much weight and i don’t want to hear your Perverted FUCKING Mouth say anything! It’s idiotic for you to continue to act like a jealous schoolgirl and make your ‘sly’ comments! So just Shut up!”
You finally open your eyes from your rant, regretful as your irises meet two bright blue eyes on a horrified face. “I was just going to ask if you can slow down and walk with me-“ Guilt floods your mind as you ear him squeak out his words. You lower your gaze and nod, moving to the back of the group with the boy. It didn’t matter how long this would be, you knew Levi would make you set up for camp soon.
“ ‘m sorry armin, you didn’t deserve that, I’m just-“ “Don’t apologize, you didn’t mean it to me but it was still valid. But never mind that, are you ok? Yes you haven’t been eating but you’ve been…. Cold lately..” You wanted to tell him, just say, ‘ I’m so in love with you that even a few days without your voice makes me angry as shit’ but you knew it wasn’t the right time…. And besides, would he even accept a girl like you?
“I’m fine, just stressed, tired, and overwhelmed…. It’s a lot you know?” Armin nods walking closer to you and letting your answer settle before your group sets up for camp and your pace continues to slow.
“You’re beautiful no matter what, I’ve read articles that said starving is actually terrible for your body, unintentional or not, it won’t end up good. If i have to,” He flushes, continuing to look ahead,” I’ll stay with you all day to make sure you’re eating and drinking water.” You freeze, feeling flushed as you watch him walk away and realize that he just offered to be around you all day just for you to be healthy.
You shake it off, keeping his words at the forefront of your mind before you get ready to retire for the night. You find a note on your blanket, asking you to meet armin at his tent with water and a blanket. Curious as to what it means you do as the note says, waiting at armin’s tent before he opens the zipper with a happy smile, welcoming you inside.
“You got the water?” You lift up the container, making him nod and turn away to a covered pile in his room. He takes the cover off, revealing the food he gathered for you two. “You didn’t eat again, so I didn’t either. And before you say anything, i got some of everything  so you have to eat SOMETHING! I told you all day didn’t I?” You look at him with teary eyes, your emotions of the week spilling out at his gesture.
Sobs wrack your body before he pulls you into his form, engulfing you in a warm hug. You feel him draw soothing circles on your back, rocking you and letting out slow shushes in attempts to calm your mind. You feel him kiss the top of your head and rubbing your back more before he pulls away and guides you to the setup of food.
He grabs you a plate of everything, making you sit and eat with him. You nibble at your food, uninterested in grossing out the guy you like by eating in front of him. But that only made him take your fork and feed you himself, he was determined for you to take care of yourself and love yourself as he loves you. You notice him watch you eat with admiration, happy to see you finally giving yourself some nourishment. You hear him sigh and hesitate, but you leave it untouched before he breaks the silence.
“You know…. I’ve loved you for years, ever since you punched out that kid who threatened me for speaking up, and how you always listened to me talk about the books I’ve read and things I’ve heard-“ “i know, i love you too armin.” “No not like that, I’m IN love with you, like i want to hold your hands, kiss you everywhere, curl into you at night, i want to love you.” You stop mid chew, maintaining eye contact as you swallow and stare at him.
“Are you serious?” “Yes.” “Like you’re not-“ “Y/n L/n I am completely and utterly in love with you.” You push the food aside, crawling between his legs and curling up onto his chest and wrapping your arms around his torso. “I love you so much it hurts armin. It hurt me so badly when you wouldn’t talk to me, i don’t know what i did but i was so mad that i pushed you away.”
Armin tilted your chin up, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he grabbed onto your soft form with a passion. “I’ll never do that again, I’m so sorry beautiful.” You hold onto him tighter pressing your ear to his chest to hear his heartbeat. “You really think I’m beautiful?”
He pulls away, reaching over you to grab your blanket…. Man he really plans things out, before he wraps it around you both and presses a kiss to your temple. He lets his hands sink into your skin, loving how your soft skin feels on his fingertips. His lips pepper kisses on your neck, pulling slightly back to press a kiss onto your hairline. You loved how gentle he was with you, you already knew the answer to to your question before he even opened his mouth.
“More then you can ever know, my love.”
178 notes · View notes
hellonoblesky · 2 years ago
Note
hi dovie im writing that fanfic where albatross sneaks into soukokus bed. i need to know what his terrors would be about (im giving you a "PLEASE GIVE ME A CHARACTER ANALYSIS IM BEGGING YOU" look rn btw)
LOVe. LOVELOVE LVOE PEACE AND LOVE MWAH MWAH
SO. So. In the Trainwreck Trio au Albatross is the sole survivor of Verlaine's killing of the Flags, yeah? So he has nightmares n stuff from That alongside survivor's guilt, and a feeling of inadequacy because he couldn't save Doc who was the one person he really did think he saved there, and also bc they teased him for not being very smart all the time so he's like "AUGH why do I get to survive but all the smarter people died?? I'm not worth this, god DAMMIT" <- Which feeds into his nightmares and terrors, really sending him into a silly doom spiral of The Horrors
BUT ALSO the only reason Albatross even SURVIVES Verlaine's onslaught is that in this au Wollstonecraft was on standby for repairs for Adam, so Adam calls her and is like "HEY I THINK VERLAINE JSUT FUCKING MAIMED ALL OF CHUUYAS FRIENDS GO?? CHECK ON THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU" so she goes in there with a team and they re-stabilize Albatross literally by having to move the majority of his organs and internal functioning system into a metal vessel and then working circutry and robotics through him so he's functional enough to pass as a normal person (given that no one pays attention to or makes contact to any part of him lower than his chest because it is Metal you knock on that man's stomach you hear Clanging)
^ This is important because alongside the Terrors and Horrors of watching pretty much his entire found family get torn apart right in front of him, Albatross begins a spiral into a state of questioning his personal humanity, the thought of "I should be dead I should be dead I'm not dead because of these machines in me I'm part of a machine now am I a Person anymore??"
Which feeds into a self-isolation that was originally fueled by his survivor's guilt and probably PTSD, because now he's like "Oh. oh those are normal people I don't think i. i deserve that. ok. hm. ok i'm leaving now."
AND TO HIM. TO HIM?? CHUUYA AND DAZAI BOTH FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF HUMAN. HE LOOKS AT THEM AND HE'S LIKE "Yeah... there they are,,, just normal guys..... not exactly the normallest of guys but they're more people than I am i think,,"
So, you remember that one post about dead albatross symbolysm? The kin awakening one? Yeah so the frantic sobbing-so-hard-he-can't-breath breakdown I mentioned he probably had at the end of that? That's like, within the AU timeline, so it's like
>SB Events >The Horrors (Self-Isolation Version) >Breakdown/Tipping Point (Catalyst for him being able to Begin to return to regularly interacting with people, starting w Chuuya) >The Horrors Pt2 (Adjusting to everything) <- This is the stage where the drawing I did takes place in! He's too unstable to just be able to Ask to stay over but he figures if he can Sneak in then it's fine >Dark Era (He's a lot better at this point but also he has an episode about Dazai leaving because Losing People Doesn't Go Over Well With Him) >Current day (Epic Gamer moment)
ANYWAY so the Terrors and Horrors you want to go for for ur fic are probably feelings of like. Feeling lost and struggling to find closeness but also being so close and Needing that closeness to someone, an unhealthy dose of anxiety but specifically the anxiety you feel when it's mixed with depression so it's anxiety but somehow?? Slower. Like it's definitely Anxiety but mixing it with Depression made it's constancy thicker so it's less a "fidget nervous gotta run gotta go fear fear fear" feeling and more of a "the swamp is swallowing me and the branch is just out of reach but if i can just move a little to the side here jsut a little", if that ??? Makes sense??
TL:DR: Survivor's guilt and a feeling of displacement. Horrors and terrors of the Depression stage of grief mixed with Anxiety
AND if you have other questions I can answer them :)!!!!!!!<333
9 notes · View notes
ibelonginthepast · 3 years ago
Note
yoo i really looooved your bucky headcanon thingy it made so much sense???
since you said you loved the marvel one: nat?
Thank you so much dem,, I needed the approval, its very close to me 🥰
AND AH NAT! MY LOVE!!
Sexuality Headcanon: I am gonna go for sex repulsive asexual, pan/bi romantic.
Its ironically funny she uses seduction and sex as a weapon ^_^
She doesn't realize her asexuality for a long long time, and thinks she hates sex because of her trauma and struggles with intimacy. Also cause she doesn't find romance with it ever. She doesn't get it, doesn't realizes its an option to not like sex.
Gender Headcanon: (non binary) she/her. Imma just through some random words. Grace. Feline. Beauty. Alluring. She's that gender that has short chin length curly hair, wears bright red lipsticks, high cheekbones, corsets, black, high heeled boots, knives. U get it.
A ship I have with said character: hmmm ngl I dont think anyone deserves the perfection that she is. Seriously. No one could ever deserve her. Not anyone in mcu yet. BUT, anyone she falls for, I dont mind banner... but I think he wont get her complexity very well. I wanna say valkyrie, but I ship them with cap marvel. Damn I just remembered they really killed nat didn't they? Fuck them. Fucking fuck them. Yeah I dont have a ship for her... no one deserves her yet.
A BROTP I have with said character: HAWKEYE AND NAT I love them so much???? Just so much?????? THEY ARE SO PERFECT, everything about them!!!!! I love how Clint is the soft side of her. I love how nat gets around clint's kids. I love how much nat loves him. How he's the only one who has ever treated her right. I'll actually start sobbing. They are so devoted to each other. I cant even. I love them so much.
A NOTP I have with said character: idk I cant ship her with Steve,, just like not for ever. I like what they had in the movies, how nat struggles with it, but I cant ship them as a legit couple for life nah.
A random headcanon: okay so bts,, nat has a horrible self esteem. she's ambidextrous. she loves dressing up. she prints out photos of rich old white neurotypical able cishet men in power, and practices shooting on them. When she's really mad at Tony or Steve or Banner, she adds them there on her target boards for practice, and it has horrified them to sometimes find their bigass postures punctured with bullet holes. Shes a fierce feminist and wears the label proud. She has had convos around this with every male on her team. She has hit them all in the head, rolled her eyes at their dumbfuck explanations of why they dont like the term feminist and helped them understand better what it is and make them know that they are in fact feminists too. she's an empath. I dont think that even hc, I think its very clearly shown just not acknowledged. Shes extremely forgiving, and believes in redemption of anyone. Shes for rehabilitation, anti-prison. She hates the concept of governments in general. She is nihilistic. She is a communist and passionate about it. She's secretly a philosophy simp, reads a lot about them when she treats herself.
Even though shes all for redemption, she struggles with forgiving herself and is very hard on herself. Her hypocrisy is really cringe and bothering here.
She has a thing for textures. She picks up stones, and cloth pieces and rubs her fingers on them sometimes.
she's an artist. She used to draw in red and black a lot, and has some ink sketches journals, where she has drawn random glimpses of her memories. She longs for a calm life by the sea where she can stargaze. The only time she actually did anything other than ink was, when she tried to pain open night skies and oceans. Cause pics like those make her heart ache. She tries painting them to capture the longing for freedom, otherworldliness, calmness, serenity they make her ache for. But she never captured them right and never was satisfied with them.
Something about her orientation? Because of the red room, she has a very complicated relationship with gender expression. The red room forced a form of femininity on her uk? she was forced to reject traditional soft expression of femininity. But forced the ballet kind of femininity, of using femininity as a weapon, or being powerful with feminine grace. She was forced to use her sexuality as a weapon. She thinks that her need to be voluptuous was something beaten into her in the red room. This all caused her a lot of problems with her identity. When she started recognizing what the red room did to her, she had the urge to be reject her sexual expression. This conflicts with her asexuality too. She tried changing a lot. A lot of internalized misogyny angst here. In her struggles to pursue a romantic relationship, she tried to fit in by being stereotypically feminine too, flowers, motherly devotion and care and all that. But she can't do it. She struggles with understanding want for kids. She struggles with gender roles and confuses them with gender too. She shifts a lot. She struggles with defining her own femininity for a long while. Cause she's naturally emotional, she hates herself for it for a long time cause she associates it with weak aspects of femininity. But eventually, she stops the what ifs, and tho it sounds fucked up, she accepts that the red room made her who she is and she doesn't need to fret over what could have become of her, cause after all our circumstances and environment do shape us. eventually she gets around rejecting gender as a concept, thinks it's fluid, and believes its boxing is a total social construct and fraud. She does what she likes. She goes with she/her pronouns cause she believes that they match with her expression and help people perceive her better and know what to expect.
Cause she ded, am sed. Cant hc her for old age, I wish I could. Really.
General Opinion over said character: what can I say, simp for the emotionally wrecked female power icon who hides all her emotions away and keeps the family together is so very fucking devoted,,, is my shit. I'll do anything for her, she can take me in and make me her slave.
I feel like I didn't do well with her. Idk its 2 am, my brain's not the best rn. Maybe ill add more later. Thanks dem <3 sry if this is disappointing 😔
14 notes · View notes
kittybellestark · 4 years ago
Text
It’s Like Falling From The Sky
Hi I’m exhausting and things suck rn so i wrote this 
I know this is coming out but I really can’t promise that I’ll be able to be very active on here with everything going on with my Dad. 
If you have mad e a fic request I am working on it have no fears I have not forgotten I just needed to write out my emotions so I’m sorry.
I’ll get this on AO3 in the next few days
TW: Flashbacks, Minor Character Deaths, Re-Visiting Peter’s Traumas, Depression, Probably Disassociation.
-
Peter remembers. He hated remembering this. He couldn’t even talk to other people about this. Well, he probably could, but he wasn’t supposed to. 
Dr. Josh said so. 
He didn’t like Dr. Josh very much. He was there when it happened. Dr. Josh went through the same thing Peter did. Sometimes Dr. Josh still came to visit Peter up until the time Skip happened. Dr. Josh was there for Peter’s first trauma yet he wasn’t there for the next one. And Peter hated him.
Peter remembered the plane. 
Officially Peter was never in that plane. There was no records of Peter ever being there, or Dr. Josh being there. But Peter remembered it in perfect clarity. It was one of the only memories Peter had of his parents. 
It was fine. The plane ride. It was boring and he played Uno with his parents. Dr. Josh stayed seated in a corner, close to the front. It was a nice plane, a private one Oscorp had provided them. This plane was newer. Peter hadn’t ever seen it before, this wasn’t the plane his family normally took. He had liked the other plane more, that plane was familiar. 
He was the one who noticed the smoke. It was coming out of the engine. They had thought the shaking was turbulence, just a little bit of wind. The smoke clouded the sky around them. 
Peter remembers that his parents buckled him into a seat, before getting into their own. Dr. Josh went to go into the cockpit, but the door was jammed. He couldn’t get in. The locking mechanism had ceased, there was no way for Dr. Josh to get in there and Peter saw the moment he realized this. The doctor sat down and buckled in.
The lights flickering was the scariest part to Peter. That was when everyone knew things would get worse. Peter could feel it, he was able to feel his parents fear. Their fear was suffocating. It was the way his mother sobbed and his father dropped his head into his hands, shoulders shaking. There was no battle to be fought, they weren’t going to be able to get out of this one.
Oxygen masks dropped and Peter’s mom made sure to get one onto his face. She kissed his forehead and whispered goodbyes. He cried hard, holding onto her hand with both of his. The door had ripped off the side of the air craft and that made things cold. Cold, cold, cold. And that didn’t make sense to Peter. Outside was bright orange, the colour of warmth and his parents bedding. 
Nothing made sense. It was bad and scary and Peter hates remembering this. He hates it. Peter hates that he was there and that officially he never was. There’s been no one to talk to, no one who can understand. It was in the news, that the only two passengers onboard had died and it infuriates Peter. There was four passengers on that plane and two died. 
Peter remembers the plane going down. He remembers screaming, then he remembers waking up. There was metal scraps of plane all around him and fire, there was so much fire. He was still in his chair, strapped down to it and he couldn’t get out. He remembers calling out for his parents and then looking around for them. 
Peter remembers seeing his mother laying there on the ground. She was awake but gasping for air, her one hand on chest, a leg bent at an unnatural angle, hair melted onto her. Peter was afraid of his own mother. He couldn’t find his father, couldn’t see him, but Peter could hear his screams. Peter could hear him in pain and that scared him too. He feared the people who were meant to be safe. Peter hates himself for that too.
Peter hates Dr. Josh. He hates Dr. Josh for surviving and Peter hates that Dr. Josh for saving him and not going back for his parents. And Peter hates Dr. Josh for leaving him, for not showing up anymore. 
Peter hates Dr. Josh. He never expected to see him again. But the thing about being Peter Parker is that everything goes in the exact way that Peter just can’t predict. 
Becoming Spider-Man was never anything Peter thought he would ever do. Meeting Tony Stark was a pipe-dream, and this mentor-mentee thing was so wildly out there. Nothing ever seemed to make sense and Peter hated that too. It was always a whirlwind and never any time to process any of it. Never any time to make sense of anything.
Peter couldn’t help blaming Dr. Josh for that too. 
“You good kid?” Tony finally, finally asked. 
Distractions are good, welcomed even. Anything was better than his thoughts or the memories of his parents dying. Distractions are easy and they help. Things aren’t so painful if he’s distracted. It’s why parents teach their kids to laugh when they get hurt, it distracts them and then everything is okay.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry- I just got caught up in my head.” 
Peter couldn’t help running his hand through his hair. It was a nervous tick, at least that’s what Dr. Josh had said. Built on his anxiety after his parents death. Peter didn’t believe that to be factual. It was a way to comfort himself, his parents used to run their fingers through Peter’s hair when he was sad or sick or tired. 
He could tell that Tony didn’t believe him. Why would he? Peter hasn’t been focused recently. He needs to focus, but he just can’t seem to focus on anything other than the thought of Dr. Josh recently. It’s a problem and Peter knows it. But it’s just so easy to put the bad things on him. 
Had Dr. Josh at least saved one of his parents, Peter wouldn’t have gone into foster care. He wouldn’t have been placed into May and Ben’s home, Skip would have never been his babysitter. Peter wouldn’t have had to go onto the Oscorp field trip, and Ben would have never been murdered. If just one of his parents had lived Peter wouldn’t feel the grief or hatred he does now. More of his family would be around, he wouldn’t be made fun of for being the reason his guardians all keep dying. May would be happier, she’d have her husband and a in-law. There would never be any over-due bills. So Peter hated Dr. Josh, and it wasn’t fair to do that to him, but Dr. Josh was supposed to be a doctor. He was supposed to save lives.
“Earth to Peter.” Tony waved his hand in front of Peter’s face. “You zoned out on me while I was talking. We have a meeting to go to remember, you’re supposed to pretend to be doing intern-y things. With the Avengers?” 
Peter shook his head, trying to clear it. It was too busy most of the time. Every thought just started and ended on top of each other. But he was going into a meeting, and the Avengers were supposed to be there, so his brain needed to be clear. He couldn’t think about what is felt like to fall out of the sky and not being able to catch himself.
“Sorry, yeah, I’m here. Which Avengers?” 
Smile. Breathe. Listen. Try and be normal. Do not dwell. Not on the past. 
“I mean Cap is going to be there, he’s a total bore by the way. He drones on and on, I think we’ve all learnt to fall asleep to him talking without him noticing, you’re allowed to zone out on him. Natasha is going to be there, she’s sneaky about things so don’t fan boy too hard around her. Clint will also be there, he’ll keep things interesting. You get bored in there Clint is always doing something strange to get everyone’s attention, you two will get along like a house on fire, I’m only a little scared. And Bruce will be there, you’ve met him multiple times already though Pete, so we aren’t going to hyperventilate this time. You’re going to remember to breathe and not overwhelm Bruce with every question you have about one of his research papers.” 
Tony liked to talk with his hands. Grand gestures. It was calming to watch. Peter liked how expressive Tony was. The man said he wasn’t good at expressing his emotions but Tony showed his emotions in his movements. He was easy to read if you knew what to look for, and Peter did. Peter liked knowing. He didn’t get to know much in his life, he could never predict what was happening next and that hurt. But he could see how Tony was feeling and he could act accordingly and he liked to be able to control that.
“I’ve seen the PSA’s at school I think I’ll live. Black Widow is very intimidating so I don’t think you’ll hear me talk more than five words, she’s awesome but she could kill me in the time it takes me to blink. I cannot annoy her Mr. Stark, I’m comfortable being alive.” Tony laughed, Peter joined. “I mean really, I’ve met Dr. Banner and Black Widow has become involved with the government and on tv all the time. An no self respecting teenager doesn’t hate Captain America for those PSA’s at least a little bit. I know them all except Hawkeye really, but he’s the only Avenger that is still supposed to be a secret agent so it’s not like any pictures of him exists. Which is very annoying Mr. Stark. Ned and I hacked into your servers once to see if we could find any pictures of him- this was before I met you by the way- and you didn’t even have anything there.”
Yeah, that sounded like Peter Parker. Laughing, joking, he sounded normal. He was not spiraling. There was no imagining the lights flickering or smoke filled sky. Peter couldn’t talk about it so he shouldn’t think about it. There was no use in his brain remembering the sound of his father’s screams. He could remember so many better things, more useful things. It was over ten years ago. He had more recent trauma, plane trauma at that. This really shouldn’t be the one bad thing his brain goes to first.
Right. He’s supposed to acknowledge and follow and be normal. Peter has this. There’s no plane falling out of the sky today. He is okay. 
“I wish I was surprised about you and Ted hacking into SI servers and then getting into my own, but frankly nothing you do could really ever surprise me at this point. You’re too smart for your own good, I do expect you to take over the world Roo, but for my heart could you wait until you’re done high school.”
It was the right time to laugh. Tony was laughing, so Peter laughed. It didn’t make sense to Peter how his actions couldn’t surprise Tony. Sometimes Peter’s actions even surprise himself. But it’s not really like Peter knew himself very much anymore, not with his life continuing to be so unpredictable. Sure he had gotten used to the fake smiles, and pretending to be fine, deflecting, but that wasn’t really his actions. It just covered them up. 
Peter followed just a little bit behind Tony, it helped ease the anxiety, like a shield. He also knew it wasn’t good to use Tony like this. It was just easier sometimes, when he was scared. This wasn’t a good pattern, but neither was the rest of his life. The world owed him just this bit of comfort sometimes.
“If I’m going to take over the world then I have to take everyone by surprise Mr. Stark. Including you; unless you help me of course. I could use you for your government connections, sway them over into our favour. It really wouldn’t take much.” 
Peter shrugged as Tony stepped into the room, shaking his head while looking back at him. The room was loud as Peter stepped in, but it’s what he had expected. Stories have been told to him about the Avengers, loud and rambunctious, conversations on top of each other. Even with Thor off world the group made up for it in this small room.
“Everyone this is my personal intern. Yes I trust him, no he is not a secret love child, no you can’t interrogate. Yes he will be sitting in this meeting, no you don’t have anything to worry about. Okay? Great, Brucie you know Peter, everyone else this is Peter Parker, Peter this is everyone.” 
It’s like falling from the sky, when he see’s the Avengers. He smells the smoke and feels everything quake. He can hear his father screaming and his mother gasping for air. Everything is warm orange but he’s cold and it doesn’t make sense. He is falling from the sky and it’s way too fast and he cant keep his hold on his mothers hand. He is falling and he can’t catch himself and the world is coming at him way too fast. 
He needs to breathe.
It hurts. 
He’s trapped in the seat and everything is on fire and his family is dying.
And there is Dr. Josh pulling him out and taking him away.
Breathe. He has to breathe.
Peter is not there.
Not in the middle of no where.
Certainly not with his parents.
But he is here. In the Avengers Tower. With Dr. Josh.
He just needs to focus. He needs to breathe. His brain is running too fast and there’s too many thoughts. Peter hates him, hates Dr. Josh. The plane crashed, his parents were alive and he was carried away from them. They died by this man who was supposed to be a doctor. Peter couldn’t help but feeling the anger, over a decade of anger boiling inside of him.
Peter was never good at not saying what he thought. Words were just out of his mouth before he even thought them. It’s always been good to stop people from questioning him too much, but now it was nothing but a weakness. There was no control over this, over his words and Peter hated that he couldn’t control them. He just needed to control something and yet he couldn’t even control his stupid words.
“You killed them.” 
It didn’t even sound like his own voice. He wasn’t supposed to talk about this. He was told not too. Officially Peter was never there. And he was never meant to talk about this. He should have forgotten this.
Captain America, Steve Rogers was the first one to move, pushing himself backwards in his chair before standing up. Peter didn’t like the stance Steve took, he recognized it from school and from muggers too. It was made to intimidate. It worked. Peter found himself pushing against Tony. He didn’t know if that was to shield himself or to shield Tony. It felt selfish though. 
“Kid?” Tony whispered. 
He was clearly hesitant, scared of Peter, for Peter? Honestly, Peter wasn’t so sure. All Peter knew was that he was angry, and the man who ruined his whole life was just sitting there, like this was no big deal like it was nothing. He sat there, just barely a fake look of concern like he didn’t even recognize Peter.
“You don’t even remember me. You’re the reason my parents died, you introduced yourself as a doctor and clearly you fucking lied. They were dying in front of us. Remember that? Instead of helping them you got me out of the seat I was in and walked away. We were the only two who survived, but funny enough neither of us were put on the reports. Officially we never went on that plane. Unofficially you dropped me off in Connecticut to go into foster care, but officially I ran away from my babysitter and managed to sneak onto a train. You remember me now?” The words felt like acid, and Peter didn’t like the way the words felt in his mouth. But he was falling. “Oh, no? See, you introduced yourself to me as Doctor Josh Wilkes.”
Peter didn’t notice how he made his way further into the room. He wasn’t very aware of his body or the words that were spilling out. There was just so much pain, so much that he never talked about to anyone because they were never supposed to know. His world fell apart in front of him when he was too young to understand and Peter never got to tell anyone.
“Peter, I think you’re having a severe panic attack. Can you breathe with me?” That was Dr. Banner. 
Dr. Banner was in front of Peter’s face, enough to block his view. Tony’s arms were wrapped around Peter’s waist just enough pressure to help remind Peter where he was. It wasn’t enough for Peter’s thoughts to stay in his head, but his head had been so loud for so long. Letting it out felt better but also worse. He was finally being heard, but this wasn’t what he wanted to happen. 
Black Widow- Natasha moved around the room, stationing herself in front of her friend, and Steve looked ready to yell. None of this was what Peter wanted. He needed to gain control. He needed to take a breath and start thinking. But here was Dr. Josh, Clint Barton and everything just felt so much more like a lie. Peter felt like he’d been removed from his body and scrambled before being shoved right back in.
“No. No. You told me you were a Doctor, that you saved lives. That was all a lie. Every word you ever said to me was a lie and I hate you, I do. You told me that plane crash was our secret, that I couldn’t tell anyone. You stole my parents lives, and you ruined mine, and now you’re just sitting there, silent. You’re an Avenger, you are supposed to save lives. Why didn’t you save mine?”
There were tears streaming down Peter’s face. He’d been lied too. The man he hates wasn’t even a real person, just some persona that was put on. He hated an Avenger and he never thought he would. Peter hates Clint Barton for what was done to him. And he hates that Clint just sits there not saying anything. Looking at Peter with his eyebrows raised but otherwise looking unaffected.
He had to leave. He needed to leave and go find a place to breathe. It’d been too long and everything hurt too bad. Peter was only 6, barely had any life and yet had it all torn from him.
Peter waiting another moment for Clint to say something.
“You’re a coward.” Peter pulled himself out of Tony’s arms. “I’m leaving. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
He was leaving and Peter knew it was wrong. This was everything he hated but he should be more mature about it. Peter was raised to treat people with respect, never to shout, never call someone names. It didn’t matter who the person was, he should always treat them the way he wishes to be treated.
The past should be behind him and he just needed to stop experiencing it. Peter needed to walk away from his past even if that left his parents behind him. His mom wasn’t gasping for air anymore and his dad wasn’t screaming in pain, but this felt the same as it had then. When he was picked up and carried away fighting to go back. 
The elevator was too small and it felt like falling. There wasn’t enough air as they went down, down, down. They were going towards the ground way too fast and everything was too cold and- he wasn’t there. Peter is in New York and he’s leaving his past behind. It’d be easier to forget it, but that can’t happen. For now he’s in New York and he is not falling, things are controlled now. He isn’t controlling them but things are controlled and that has to be enough.
“Peter, do you want to talk about it?” 
That was Tony. Tony was there walking out of the building with him and he didn’t even notice. Someone was there for him and following him out into the streets and he is upset. This is going to be like Ben all over again. It was all too familiar. Peter is crying and too caught up in his head and he’s being followed by someone who cares again and he is in New York. Last time Peter had a gun held to him because he saw something he shouldn’t and Ben stepped in. Tony would do the same thing as Ben, Peter knows that. 
Planes don’t fall out of the sky often but it happened to Peter twice. Muggings happen often, Peter has seen his fair share. It could happen to him again. History repeats itself, everyone says that. This can happen again too, it could. All because of Dr. J- Clint. 
“You can’t let him kill you Mr. Stark. I can’t lose anyone else, I can’t watch anyone else die. You and May are all I have left.”
Breathe. He just needs to breathe and it’ll be okay. Peter knows this he just needs to get himself under control. One person should not have any control over him, his life, not like this.
“Alright kiddo. I’m staying right here, and you know May isn’t going anywhere either. We’ll stay by your side no matter what. So lets talk, tell me what isn’t official or don’t. Whatever you need right now.”
Peter nodded. He hated how the air was acid but he had to do this. He’s held it all in, every bad thing. He didn’t talk about things, never the bad things, those were made to be secrets. But it never felt good, it always ached, to keep it all inside. Peter never told May and Ben about his parents, all they knew was the official story. He had never told them about Skip, never talked about it more than what was necessary after May walked in. Never said anything about what happened to give him his powers. He didn’t tell May about watching Ben die. He never said anything to Tony or Happy about a building falling on him or crashing the plane on Coney Island. These memories, these trauma’s are not made to be shared, but he couldn’t hold in in anymore. 
His body wasn’t his own and Peter hated not being aware of his actions, pulled too far into the past to understand his movements, his surroundings. When Tony pulled Peter back inside and to the penthouse he hardly recognized his own motions. Sitting onto Tony’s couch helped Peter come back to himself, just the tiniest bit. 
For the first time ever Peter told someone the unofficial story. There was no talking about nothing. He tells Tony about what it was like to notice the smoke and the flames. He talks about being exposed in the sky and holding his mothers hand as they fall. He speaks about seeing his mom, hearing her and his dad. He explains what is was like to be carried away, fighting to be with them, knowing they’d die. Peter tells Tony about what it’s like in foster care, about being considered a flight risk because officially he ran away from his babysitter. 
Peter tells Tony everything.
And Tony listens. 
Peter thought he’d feel better. He never expected to feel like every problem is solved, but he thought he’d at least feel the tiniest bit better. This wasn’t better though.
Maybe it was a mistake.
These big, scary traumatic things were supposed to be kept to himself. They might have changed his life but they didn’t need to affect anyone else’s.
“This is the first time you’re telling anyone any of this?” Tony hand’s Peter hot chocolate as he asks this question, it feels like a stupid question to Peter, he wasn’t supposed to talk about it so why would he tell anyone. 
“I was told I couldn’t tell anyone about my parents. Dr. Josh, Clint, he sat me down and told me no one could actually know how my parents died, that it was our secret. He’d check in on me for a few years after to make sure May and Ben didn’t know. Clint told me that the big scary thing things that happen to a person aren’t made to be shared with others and that no one would believe me, so I didn’t tell anyone. I’m supposed to do what adults tell me, it’s not a big deal.”
Tony hummed, sipping his own drink. Peter didn’t like the way Tony looked at him, like a mystery that revealed itself. It was close to the look Peter gets when people find out his parents are dead and one of his guardians died too, but it wasn’t quiet it. Tony also held some level of anger in his eyes and Peter didn’t know who that was directed at.
“Peter you literally exploded when you saw Clint, that was a pretty big deal. Him telling you not to share the first big traumatic thing to happen to you is a pretty big deal too, especially because he told you that he was a doctor. It’s all big deal.”
Peter groaned. He should have had better control. It was already a bad day and his head was too clouded with the past. It was a mistake. A blip. Peter should have done better.
“FRIDAY, could you ask Clint Barton to come up here?” 
FRIDAY confirmed and Peter realized that this was another mistake. Why couldn’t he just stop himself? He wasn’t good at this. This was a mistake. Peter was raised to do what was right but he only made mistake after mistake. Everything he’s done was a mistake.
“What are you doing kid?”
Planes fall from the sky. Planes that hold Peter have fallen. They are world ending and Peter’s world has ended over and over. He blamed the person that Clint was pretending to be. Peter blamed a lie.
“He forgot me and then I told him he killed my parents and didn’t save my life.”
The elevator dinged out a final warning to what was coming before the doors opened. This time Peter was prepared to see the face of a man who haunted his life. Clint walked in and stayed standing away from Peter and Tony on the other side the coffee table. 
“Sorry for yelling at you. It was a bad day. I was taken off guard and said things without any thought.” 
Unrecognizable. Cold. Unattached. Empty. Peter’s voice didn’t sound nice, there was no personality. But it had been a long day. There was too many emotions all at once and Peter was tired, it was nearly too much today. All his thoughts and feelings were all too wrapped together, snaked around his heart and lungs. In his throat and into his jaw, squeezing too tight; a mess of what should be neat and organized.
“My mission was to protect you. I was assigned onto that plane and to your parents to make sure you were properly protected. Your parents were agents in the scientific division of SHIELD and were assigned to Oscorp to get intel. We had reason to believe that Oscorp was going to stage a kidnapping to experiment on you. My only job was to keep you safe and when that plane went down I had to get you out of the area before you were taken. SHIELD agents were with your parents by the time we got to safety. We didn’t tell you that you’re Dad’s spine was crushed or your Mom’s lungs were filled with blood, there was no saving them. Even if I helped them first they would not have survived, if I was a doctor it wouldn’t have made a difference. My mission was to protect you. I had to drop in after that every once in a while after that because Oscorp still had their eyes on you. I got reassigned when they stopped following you.”
Peter’s mind reeled. Hardly able to process the words being told. None of it made sense. It didn’t feel much like the truth. Peter still ended up at Oscorp and bad things still happened. 
“Well you failed then. You’re mission was a failure.” Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “Oscorp doesn’t give school’s tours, especially not high schools. But they gave my school a tour, but only my class. You did not succeed at your one job. I was there, got separated from my class. After that some Oscorp employees tended to show up where I was for a few months, offered me summer camp opportunities a few internships. I never took them especially not once I got this internship. But they never stopped. Oh, and I was friends with Harry Osborn, for years actually, went over to his house all the time until pretty recently.”
The spider bite. Peter always thought it was an accident. A coincidence. But now it was making sense. The lab assistant who gave him the wrong directions to the bathroom did that on purpose. He ended up in a room filled with spiders instead of a hallway he expected to lead to the washroom. Oscorp followed him to see if Peter had changed, not because they thought he did something bad or stole from them. It was their plan. Had he of taken the internship who knows what else would have happened. 
The mugging that killed Ben, that was probably Oscorp too. It would make sense. Especially if they were watching Peter. The gun was pointed at Peter first, meant to shoot him. Maybe they expected Peter to do something, confirm any theory they may have had about him. Instead Ben got in the way and died. And Peter didn’t do anything that day, or that week, not even that month. Oscorp stopped reaching out as much after that. They weren’t at his favourite places anymore and he got less mail from them. Every once in a while they still offered an internship to him, but it wasn’t a consistent thing like before. There wasn’t anything consistent.
“Clint, I think it’s time for you to leave.” That was Tony. Tony was nice. Tony helps. “Peter, buddy, you need to remember to breathe. C’mon Roo, I know that was a lot but breathe for me, please.”
He couldn’t do it. Everything about Peter was a lie. The man he blamed was a lie. The idea his parents could be alive was a lie. The reason Ben died was a lie. Everyone lied to him, his entire life, every traumatic experience came from a lie. Being Spider-Man came from a lie and working with Tony rooted from one too. There was no truth. He was never given the truth. 
Peter couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to. Nothing was true. How could he do anything real, or true? His life was a pile of lies stacked on top of each other in a way to control him and to manipulate. There’s no control here, this was a fall and every time there was something to grab onto it just disappeared. Nothing was real, it wasn’t real. Someone else pulled the strings on his life and now they’ve all been cut and there’s nothing holding him up anymore. 
Alone. He’s alone and he can’t do this. Just a kid who lost everyone on a lie. Peter never had a chance to control anything,  Everything was set up for him to react in certain ways, he had no choice, probably never did.
“Peter, buddy, c’mon, breathe for me. Don’t do this, you’re going to hurt yourself. I know this was a lot, but Roo, you’ll get through this, I know this was a lot, your whole life thrown at you in one go. I’m here with you.”
Focus on Tony. He needed to breathe, gain control here. But this was wrong, all of it was wrong. Peter had been through a lot but this was something else entirely. How can any expect him to get through this? 
“No. No, Mr. Stark. I can’t- I can’t do this. I’m not- it’s not- it’s a lie. I can’t do this.”
He was sobbing, face tomato red. Tears were streaming down his face, his body shook just like the plane that went down. He couldn’t calm down and he hated himself for it. Peter couldn’t control the way his thoughts always went to his biggest traumas, and now he couldn’t control the way he was reacted. Maybe none of this ever happened, and that’s just a lie too. There’s no proof that he isn’t dead or in a coma or even lost his mind. It’s all been a lie this far, it could be a lie past that.
Arms wrapped around Peter. They held him tight and he fought them at first trying to break free. He needed to be free of them, free of his thoughts. He only struggled for a few minutes before finally being able to relax, entire body going limp.
Everything was too much. It was too much.
And Peter was falling from the sky. Falling too fast and too hard into the rest of his life. There was no way to catch himself, not at these speeds. He was just a six year old with too much heartache. No Spider-Man there to catch him, no webs strong enough. Peter was falling from the sky and he couldn’t stop.
But Tony is there, and Tony will be there to catch Peter before he crashes.
-
Taglist (DM/Send an ask if you would like to be added):
@erinbeanie @jean-and-diet-coke @dead-inside-pt2 @they-were-cloudsinmycoffee @parkersjiggle @7peternotparker7 @thatonecrackheadshipper @kevinthewoman @faline4you @lynxshinon @narutoyaoifan @pastelwheeler
32 notes · View notes
liliesoftherain · 5 years ago
Note
Hello 👋🏾 can you do a scenario or hc for aizawa with prompt 4 “look at me-just breath, okay?”, where the reader is a very closed off introvert who is a teacher at UA as well and is known as the “reserved teacher” because she hides her emotions very well, but something sad in her life effects her personally, and Aizawa notices her off behavior and when he tries to comfort her she pushes him away, but somehow he breaks down her barriers. This is really long, sorry 🥺 It’s sad hours for me rn..
A/N: I have other things to work on but when I saw this and seen that you said you were feeling down, I worked on it because I get it. I hope you’re feeling okay, and if you EVER need to talk to me you can always message me. That goes for anyone! 
Title: Let it ot
Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x Reader
4.  “Look at me-just breath, okay?”
Tumblr media
You loved your job
Or well
Jobs
You really did
And a lot of people understood the importance of teaching the next generation of heroes
So your agency made sure to be as accommodating as they could be
When it came down to both teaching and pro hero work
But just because they tried doesn’t mean they did it well
It was still super stressful no matter how much you loved it
Plus it was really hard for you to say no sometimes
Being extremely introverted you hated confrontation
Almost to the point where you’d do anything to avoid it
So when your agency asked if you could pick up some slack
Pick up a few extra hours
Or if you could do some extra paperwork
You didn’t say no
You just did it.
And boy,
Was wearing you down
Trying to balance all the curve balls life was throwing at you 
What else was there to do besides deal with it?
So you took everything with as much grace you could muster
Hiding everything behind your always small smile
So no one could tell what was going on
But you were a fool to think you could hide for long
You had only been dating Shouta for a little over a month
But it seemed he knew you like the back of his hand already
It was one day in particular 
Where you were having trouble hiding your feelings when he confronted you
You had been in the teachers lounge alone
Nursing a headache and almost on the verge of tears when he walked in
You hid it with a smile and greeted him like usual
He just stared at you
Your grin never faltered but he knew something was wrong
“How are you.”
Shouta may have been a blunt man
But he cared about your feelings 
Well enough to know he should approach you carefully
“I’m fine, students are as great as always. How was your class?”
He knew you were lying, but he humored you for a while
Letting yourself become distracted by talk of his students
And talk of your own
While it was refreshing for a while
You started to go back to how you were originally feeling
Aizawa took note of the way your eyes dimmed for a moment
The way your smile wavered and your demeanor saddened
He couldn’t take it anymore
“What’s been going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t been yourself.”
You were taken aback
Not realizing that anyone could tell
“I don’t..”
You didn’t really know what to say
“You can talk to me you know.”
“I’m fine, really Shouta.”
“Are you?”
You were panicking now
Would he think you were annoying?
You were probably upset and stressed over nothing
There was no reason to make it a big deal
There was no reason to get him involved in something so insignificant
“I.. It’s really nothing to worry about. Thank you though.”
You saw him frown and you felt your internal panic skyrocket
You didn’t want to upset him!
That was the whole reason you didn’t want to share your stupid feelings
“You don’t have to put up a face around me.”
He sighed and you rubbed your arm
Your breath picking up as you felt your eyes sting
‘Oh God, not here. Not now!’
He saw how you began to fidget and he felt a small pang in his heart
“Come here.”
He pulled you into his chest
You stilled momentarily and wanted to push away 
But he was so warm
So comforting
You held onto the front of his shirt and began to cry
You really didn’t know why you were crying
But it felt nice to let it out
Shouta held you there for a while
Letting your tears dampen his shirt while he soothingly ran his hands in your hair
Until your breathing was hitching due to your sobs
To the point where you were gasping for air
He shushed you and let his fingers pull away from your hair to find your chin
Making your face look up at him
“Look at me-just breath, okay?”
You tried to do as he said 
Taking large and shuttering breathes through your lips
He breathes with you to help you
After a while you calm to hushed hiccups and red eyes
“You don’t need to pretend around me.”
“I just don’t want to burden you..”
“Burden me? You couldn’t. This is what I’m here for, to offer you support when you need it. Okay?”
“but..”
He playful glared at you
“No buts. Even if you don’t want to talk, if you just need to let it out. I’m here for you. Always.”
You sniffled, smiling a real smile
“Thank you Shouta.”
He gave you a kiss to the head before standing
“Why don’t we have a date after school, hm. Before we go into work.”
“A date?”
“Yea, I need a good nap with you.”
Lets just say, that was the best nap you ever had
No worries, no stress, no sadness
Just cuddled up to the man of your dreams
464 notes · View notes
princessjungeun · 4 years ago
Text
Half and Half: Lia x Reader
where the reader is a troublemaker at school and Lia is the class nerd and she tries to help the reader graduate by tutoring her and then they catch feelings... I rly need some fluff in my life rn 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
CW: violence
Tumblr media
When Lia agreed to tutor a student who needed help to pass the class she didn’t know it’d be you. You were known as the bitch not to be messed with. You admit you had a short fuse when it came to your anger but you fixed it earlier this year. However that doesn’t dismiss the fact that you’ve gotten into countless fights over the past 4 years you’ve been in high school.
There was the time that one kid insulted Ryujin, you broke his nose, jaw, busted his lip, and gave him a concussion. That time that one girl called Yuna ugly, you broke three of her ribs. The time someone made fun of your family, you’re not even sure what happened to them, you don’t know if they ever left the hospital. And of course the time someone tried to ask you on a date as a dare, he got a black eye and a busted lip. All that being said, you were definitely feared by everyone in school.
But despite your bad girl image, you were good in school, you were at the top of your class directly under Lia. However, nobody in the school knew that but you. The biggest issue for you was anatomy, it was the one subject you were bad at. It was all memorization which you were good at, but something about the muscles and tendons and all that, it was too much. This being said you started failing slowly, your grade slowly dropping as the year went on. But now it’s March and to graduate you need an 80, your grade is a 54%. Your teacher knew you’d be able to fix it with a little hard work and determination so she set you up to meet with Lia everyday for the rest of the year. That leads you up to now, the first day you have to meet with Lia.
You walked into the library and saw Lia sitting alone, smiling as she looked out one of the windows. Your gaze followed hers and all she was watching was the clouds. You swore you could see her lips moving as if she was talk, but upon a broaching her you realized she was singing softly. You brushed it off and decided to just bite the bullet and get this over with.
“Choi.” You stood behind her and loudly called her name. She jumped in her seat before turning around “o-oh hi Y/N...I’m tutoring you?” You nodded and sat down next to her, it was very clear that she was scared out of her mind. You found it kind of cute.
“Ok um. Let’s get started then...anatomy. Uh wh-what’s it you aren’t understanding? I mean not that you aren’t understanding. I bet you do understand. You probably understand a lot of things! You-” You cut off her nervous rambling. “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.” Those few words were the only thing she needed to hear to relax and talk normally.
Throughout the next few weeks you met up with her everyday. You slowly started to catch feelings for Lia and she definitely did too. She’d grab your hand over the table when you two were studying, you’d pretend not to notice. You would just stare at her admiring her beauty while she was asking you a question. She’d laugh at your blushing face when you came back to your senses, mumbling a “you’re so cute” under her breath too.
You liked being around Lia. She was truly an amazing tutor, she knew how to motivate you to do better. You could see her excitement when you got a question right and how much she wanted to help you when you got one wrong. She spent her own free time color coding diagrams and making flash cards just for you.
“That’s not fair! When she tutored me she made me write and color everything. What do you have that I don’t?” Yuna whines as she watched you flip through pages of worksheets Lia made for you. You smiled to yourself knowing she was doing this because she liked you.
Your younger friend whines about how unfair it was. See, Yuna was tutored by Lia for a math class as well as biology. You laughed “stop whining. Go bother Ryu, i’m busy, I have my final tomorrow.” The younger girl sighed and left you alone in the study room, running off to find her other best friend.
The bell rang and you went to your locker, a small note fell out reading:
You’ll do great, make me proud
- Lia ☀️
You smiled and tucked the post it note into your pocket.
When you took your exam it was a lot easier then you thought it’d be. You finished second to last but that was because you went over your answers at least fourteen times before turning it in. “I’ll be handing these back on your way out, for the remaining hour please work on something else quietly.” Your teacher collected the papers and got to grading them.
That was probably the best thing about being in a small class. There only being 14 kids in class with you, your tests, quizzes, and exams were always graded quickly. To pass the time you pulled out your phone, knowing your teacher wouldn’t care, after all everyone feared you.
On the way out you got your paper, nervously you flipped it over and saw you earned a 97% on it. You smiled knowing that this was the last thing you needed to get an A on to pass the class for the semester.
You walked out of the room to go find Lia in the library. After circling around the library and all the study rooms you didn’t see her. That was unusual, she was always here. She practically lived in the library. On your way out you noticed her backpack hanging on the back of a chair and her laptop on a table, but that was it. You felt a pit form in your stomach...something wasn’t right here.
You snatched her belongings up and sprinted out the doors to go find her. You ran into Yuna and Ryujin in the hallways and asked “where’s Lia?” Ryujin shrugged and Yuna responded “I think she’s in the back hallway? I heard some boy earlier saying he was gonna ask her out.” You asked “who? what boy?” Yuna replied “i don’t know he was a little taller than me, pretty muscular, he looked like a player though.”
Your eyes widened as you realized she as with the schools known player. He was the kind of guy to ask a girl on a date and not take no for an answer. He’d cheated on a fair share of girls from other schools as well. Just an all around piece of garbage.
You reached the back hallways and there they were. You watched from a distance and did your best to listen in. Lia was trying her best to politely decline his offer but he wasn’t letting up. She’d managed to stay steps ahead of him as she walked towards the exit which would get her to a more populated area. Just as she was about to walk away for good he grabbed her shoulder forcefully to turn her around. You heard her whimper and you saw her eyes covered in fear.
Without hesitation you grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him. He pushed Lia away so he could focus on you, and Lia fell to the ground with a thud. You heard her soft sobs, an unfamiliar anger courses through your veins. You felt your mind go completely blank, your only thought was “i’m about to beat the life out of him” .
You threw a punch and your hand collided with his jaw making him take a few steps back. You shoved him in the chest and he fell to the ground before holding him up by the shoulder and throwing a few more punches, adding a slap or two just because. Your eyes filled of fire, you only felt yourself getting angrier, stronger with every punch.
You weren’t showing signs of stopping anytime soon, adrenaline flowing through your veins. As you were about to deliver another punch you felt someone grab your hand. You saw Ryujin standing over you “stop. You’ve done enough. Take her and go, I’ll take care of him.” You grabbed him by the collar and said what you thought was only loud enough for the two of you “I swear to God if you ever think about laying your nasty hands on or near my girl again, I won’t stop. There won’t be anyone to hold me back. And i’ll make sure of it.” You let him go, letting him fall back into the lockers behind him.
You stood up and walked over to where Lia was, still laying on the ground. Making sure you had her backpack as well as yours before you scooped her up in your arms. She whimpered softly “Y/N?” Tears were still on her cheeks, her eyes puffy. You shushed her “shhh just close your eyes it’s fine. I’m here you’re ok.” You carried her in your arms all the way home, internally thanking your older brother and dad for making you take boxing and weightlifting classes with them.
When you got home you kicked the door open and laid Lia on your sofa. You left her to rest for a minute and you went to check if you got any part of your face scatched up. Luckily only your lip was bleeding which wasn’t something to worry about.
You went back to see Lia, her eyes fluttered open and she seemed more aware than before. She asked “wha-where am i?” You responded “you were in and out. I brought you home...well my home.” You told her “you have a cut on your forehead, let me fix it.” She grabbed a hold of your hand, which made your heart beat faster.
“Here” You lifted her onto the counter so she was at level with you. You grabbed a cotton ball and doused it in hydrogen peroxide and said “it’s gonna sting.” The second you placed it on her forehead she squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears leaking out as her one hand squeezed yours. You patted it dry with a cloth before putting a hot pink bandaid over the cut.
You pressed it on and smoothed your thumb over it gently. Before this moment you never really took a good look at Lia’s face. Sure you knew she was beautiful but this... she was more than that. Lia’s eyes scanned your face as well until the two of you met eyes. Slowly you felt her legs wrap around your waist and her arm rested on your shoulder. Bringing your thumb up you wiped away one of her tears and said “pretty girls like you shouldn’t cry.”
She asked “earlier...you said i’m your girl?” You replied “not unless you want to be.” She smiled softly before leaning in slowly. You followed her lead before your lips touched softly. Your hand cupped her cheek and you held her fsce as if it was the most precious and valuable thing you’d ever had.
When you two pulled away she shyly smiled before saying “yeah, i do. I want that a lot actually.” You pulled her into your embrace, she kept her head in the crook of your neck. Her breath steadily hitting your skin.
She told you “thank you...i don’t know what i’d do without you.” You pulled her away and told her “thank you too...i got a 97 on my final, I don’t know what I’d do without you too.” Her eyes lit up and she kissed you “i’m so proud of you. Really it was all you.” You laughed, holding her close once again “it was half and half.” Holding her head close to you, you kissed the side of her head and stroked her hair softly feeling her relax against you. “Fine. Half and half.” She giggles against you, pressing soft kisses against your neck as you held her in your embrace.
95 notes · View notes
diazpoems · 4 years ago
Text
Me watching Riverdale S2:
THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.
I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like
Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck
Josie: Your parents fucking suck
Veronica: Your parents fucking suck
Betty: Your parents fucking suck
Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom
Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom
Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom
Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”
Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨
Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰
Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah
Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing
I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished
I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)
OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-
Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes
NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER
Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.
Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’
BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-
Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil
What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-
BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-
CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.
“Entertain Jughead” 😏
DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.
C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER
If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays
Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?
Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh
Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica
Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.
In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.
Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem
YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!
Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.
Get. His. Ass.
They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.
SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.
“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know
3 notes · View notes