#i feel so numb rn i freaked tf out that was not normal

[pumpomulos]

wow after scream sobbing for an hour and a half i might actually miss my exwife

[pansyfunch]

“if you feel lonely, i could be lonely with you.”-sports(beach bunny)

why in the world did i say any of that?

Why in gods name did i say anything in that post. sure, i meant it. some of it. but, truly, after posting it, and getting my mind out on paper. Or a screen. Or whatever. it looks wrong. can i even say i still care and love you? Would you even belive me? I dont think so. Or maybe you would. You’re so, what’s the word, naive. maybe not so but you get the point. yeahhh i got you all these things today, spent time thinking about what you would like, and now im planning this whole thing. Now, if i still dont love you, why do i get butterflies? And you may be sitting there like “Skye, you were literally the one who said all that crap about not loving me all the time”. Yeah, i did, and i dont know why. Well i do. Because it’s partially true. And then it’s not. i should have just sucked it the fuck up. because i do love you… probably not as much as you love me. Which brings me to another thing. You’re literally as out of your mind as i am. maybe not, but, how in the world can you still say you love me? I would be so, unbelievably upset if i were you and maybe not right away, but give it a week and i would totally hate me. Maybe i would need to be put in that spot to understand it, but idk. Do you think i have bpd or something? Like maybe theres something wrong with me mentally. Yo wtf my dumbass just forgot i was schizophrenic. ANYWAZ. Can u get bpd from a parent? Bc my dad has severe bpd like I’ve said before. sigh. I love you. In what way? Idek. THEN WHY TF DO I GET LIKE THE WAY I GET WHEN IM WITH YOU.WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH. WHY. WHY. And if i do love you why tf did i say all those things yesterday? Idek why i said it anymore. I know i meant some of it. Was it genuinely me just going crazy? I’m gonna keep up with my medication. Maybe i need to be evaluated again. Because i think i have more than schizophrenia. like, sometimes i feel literally numb. Nothingggggg. And then im back to normal? Back to being the girl you like? What’s up with me. Seriously. Imma ask my mom to get me re evaluated, like soon, hopefully Thursday or smth. that other post was how i feel when I feel like, nothing at all. And my question is, why do i randomly feel, absolutely nothing, for anyone. AND THEN GET BACK TO REALITY LIKE- AND THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. No love, no, no, nothing for anythingggg anyboddyyyy. “Everywhere and anywhere” you freak. Anywho, that’s not what this is about rn. I forgot what i was even gonna say.