#SO good I can’t put it into words
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May I just say that Charles is feeding us with content today. The pretty pictures of him at the football game, the video with him holding the baby… After a rough day I am WATERED and FED
#his smile made my day better#he really does look so good in red#SO good I can’t put it into words#charles leclerc#formula 1#<33333333333
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Nothing better than a “I wanted him dead. I wanted him all to myself.” Type ship. Truly unmatched.
#Louis rly put it into words#the obsession the hatred the resentment it’s all so good#iwtv#interview with the vampire#Hannibal#loustat#hannigram#I can’t think of others but u get the idea
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i love showing my partner the way phannies react to dnp doing anything because it’s endlessly funny to get an outside perspective. like yes it’s weird that we react to dnp doing anything with rage and terror but we’re having a good time i promise. the majority of us being mentally ill is completely unrelated i swear.
#they wouldn’t last a second in the asylum we were raised#i’ve never had a partner that i’ve felt comfortable showing phannie shit to though so i’m winning tbh#i’ve been trying to figure out how to explain phannie culture to them for 5 years but i can’t put it into words in the way that would#make sense to a non phannie#they love dnp though and im dragging them to tit pray for them#sanj coined the term ‘first phannie’ for them it’s so good#(like first lady like married to the president do you get it do you get it do you get it)#i do have sooooo many theories like i wanna write essays about phannie culture#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#yeet my deenp#yeet my deet#dip and pip#d&p#danandphilgames#dapg#dnptit#atag#image description in alt#dnp described
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got me tote comms from maroonracoon for cala so i can feel cry and smile and die when i get them psychically later♥️
#i CANTGO to cala this weekend bc i dont live in cali *sobs* but my darling friend is gonna pick them up and mail them to me#it’s like a christmas gift😇😇😇😇#i wanted both of them separately cuz im prob gonna deck them out in keychains and pins later#his style is so good I can’t put it into words ill kms 3 times tho#art for me
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(Kinda skrunkly old art under the cut)
do I think they could be canon no….
do I think it would be unendingly funny if they somehow got together? Yes absolutely.
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#the riddler#codotverse#codotverse riddler#codotverse scarecrow#scarecrow#digital artist#riddlecrow#rogues! the podcast#they are so funny to me#I can’t put into words how much I love this podcast very good#could yap for hours about it#I need to make art I accidentally like about these fuckers#they have infected my brain
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Bettyjuice for you
For ME??? AHHHHHHH, SHE’S SO PERFECT IN YOUR STYLE! I love the expressions on her and Guin, those two goofballs are the CUSTESTTT!! What a fabulous surprise, it shall go on my Fridge of honor for all the world to see!
I suppose this calls for a doodle in return, eye for an eye after all! (I took a few liberties for clarity’s sake… so I hope I’m not too inaccurate on some of the details)
It’s safe to say that Betty loves your drawing as much as I do! Thank you for making my day. 💕💕
(I also included your username in here so that if someone uploads my stuff somewhere else and wonders where Guin came from… they’ll be able to find her! 😎)
#You caught me in such a good time!#I was trying so hard over and over again to come up with a nice drawing for Guin… But I kept getting stuck!#(I wanted to do her justice-yanno… and my previous attempts weren’t the level I wanted them to be.)#Leave it to Betty to get me out of a funk!#This really is such a thoughtful gift… I can’t put my gratitude into words!#Thank you for putting your kindness into the world!#ask#beautiful art gift#my art#beetlejuice#beetlejuice cartoon#procreate#toonjuice#beetlejuice fanart#bettyjuice#beetlejuice oc#Guinevere
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everyone should watch marble hornets, it’s a really good comedy!! where just some guys are makin a movie 😄 and nobody dies! ever! the operator…..who’s that? A transformer?? hahahaha
#GENUINELY THO#IT WAS SO GOOD#WAHHH ☹️#I JUST FINISHED IT TODAY AND IM NOT OKAY ☹️#But yes it was so good and so good and so interesting#slenderman you better be ready to catch these hands#jk#jk he would kill me…………#just like jay…………🤣☹️😦😔#Tim being the only one left too ☹️💥💥💥💥#and Jessica#somehow being alive#and the final#everything is fine#just leaves you with unease.#marble hornets#rahhh i have more sick thoughts#i can’t put into words
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“-So long we become the flowers / We'd feed well the land / And worry the sheep.”
Thimk a lot about the parallels between these two.
#clover draws#gabriel ultrakill#v2#v2 ultrakill#these guys don’t have a ship name yet do they#this is ship art Btw#tw dismemberment#tw blood#itsjust so incredibly good. I can’t put it into words rn but they make out with tongue yknow. IN ESSENCE#neither of them have tongues
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marinette almost getting akumatized into a motherfucker named PANIC physically pains me. oh my god it hurts. like i’m literally going to write a whole essay on it painful. like i can’t stop thinking about it. it’s just so important to me? it’s so real? i don’t know too many words so little brain. something something seeing one of my favorite characters reflect those same terrifying, uncontrollable, and overwhelming moments of just fear it just. i don’t know. it makes me feel so small yet seen? like yeah i have this panic but so do so many others? GOD I DONT KNOW I NEED TO WRITE THIS OUT
#carpetbug talks#akumanette#panic#as someone with bad anxiety#and panic attacks that literally make me forget how to breathe#it’s just so so sooo good#literally can’t put it into better words#literally while watching that episode i freaked the hell out#like ogh. okay. no i’m totally fine. just marinette being named panic. just fucking panic#that is. just so oh my godddddd to me#AND THEN WE NEVER GOT TO SEE BER? IM SUING??#headcanon that she doesn’t speak bc if ur able to like make actual words while having a panic attack i am so jealous of you#shit man maybe i need to draw and or write some akumanette!panic shit
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SEASON 5 OF HOUSE IS SO FUCKING CRAZY
#ppl keep telling me theyre watching it now bc i wont shut up abt it and i cannot put into words how ECSTATIC that makes me#but im wondering if i shld tag spoilers now#ngl it’s such a good show even if you know things abt it it’ll still hit u#but i certainly wld rather be surprised#anyway. spoilers. season 5. the hostage situation. house handing the gun back. him nearly dying bc he’s taking methadone on top of the#vicodin. him throwing away his cane bc he’s not in pain for once. quitting the methadone bc he made one (1) mistake and can’t forgive#himself bc he has to be medically right or he has nothing.#also thirteen and foreman. im so bisexual.#cuddy and her baby. cuddy firing house for the methadone then seeing how much it helps him and offering the job back. her wanting him to#take it but house refusing#wilson and house. as always.#shoutout to kutner also. my beloved.#OUVGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Band leader at church: *tells me that he appreciates me, values me, that I am loved, that he sees the effort I’ve put in, that he wants to get to know me more*
Me: *feels good for a few hours*
Me: *has in-person interaction with him and the worship leader tonight*
Me, hours later: they hate me. They both can’t stand me. Whatever he said this morning, he doesn’t feel it anymore. He thinks I’m weird. He thinks I’m annoying as heck and doesn’t want to be around me. They are both annoyed at me and I took up a disrespectful amount of his time last night and he thinks I’m rude and entitled.
#I literally don’t know how to get out of this#This has obviously been a very tricky situation on so many levels so it’s making me stressed in every way and this is no exception#The amount of self-hatred I feel…#It’s not good#it’s getting worse#it hurts#I cannot put into words the absolute loathing I feel for myself#And the raging shame I feel of myself and how I think I appear to others#I keep asking God how to get out of this#I crave any compliment or demonstration of affection or anything that reinforces that people like me and don’t hate me#But it doesn’t stick and it doesn’t help#I know compliments from others aren’t going to fix this#So I’m going to God and asking what to do#And I think if I felt secure in God’s love and REALLY believed He loves me and—here’s the kicker—likes me#That that would be enough and would stabilize and strengthen me#But part of me deep down suspects that He just doesn’t like me or enjoy me and finds me annoying and actually doesn’t want to spend#Time with me#I will encourage people to read Gentle and Lowly for the rest of my days#And it’s helped some#But I think I need it to be applied to me personally by God Himself#Part of it is I think a crazy act of protecting myself#Because if you suspect the worst you can’t be disappointed#What if I assume God loves me and likes me and then I somehow find out it’s not true?#The pain would be indescribable#And even if I know that’s logically bogus#It doesn’t make it feel like any less of a possibility#And so that trickles down into relationships with others too#If I assume they don’t like me or at best don’t feel much towards me at all#I can’t be disappointed#Especially when I see the “evidence” in me that I’m unlikeable
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Evan kelmp man that you are ……………..
#the psychosis metaphor. the guard dog nature. it’s not a wound it’s just healed badly. i realize this thing is just here to hurt people and#I think man I know that song and I keep kicking. telling stories that are normal to you to get a worried looks and ppl asking if you’re okay#literally brennans explanation of how evan felt fighting that salamander was so.#this character was created in a lab to make me specifically crazy. and boy oh boy is it working !#I can’t get over aabria referring to his arm as ‘not a wound just healed badly’ and that the only way to fix it is to break it again and k#being so convinced they can help it’s so. I can’t put into words buts it’s so. that’s their whole everything.#evan isn’t broken he’s just healed wrong and people around him can’t or won’t accept that. and it’s coming from a good place (sometimes)#but it has the same effect in the long run which is the reinforcement that he is wrong and bad and needs to change but he CANT bc he HAS#healed. he isn’t carrying around an open wound he has worked on that but that shit never goes away. it’s there forever and it looks wrong an#scary to people and it probably always will but it works#he said it’s different metrics of success I kept the arm and then k tries to fix and he loses the arm. do you understand me.#do you you see. can anyone fucking hear me.#it’s about being so scary to the people you love that your success is still cause for concern and they don’t understand that you’re doing#better !! you are doing good !! I’m not sad anymore he said and it’s. oh god.#anyway mismag makes me feel ill if I think about it too long so I have to stop now#prsnl#mismag#🐦⬛
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This Home of Mine
How had it come to this?, Aviloh asked himself as the argument around him began to get louder. Somehow he had known it would all end horribly one day. He just had hoped it would take a little longer. He only had himself to blame for this, he thought as his eyes fearfully scanned the crowd that was slowly gathering around them.
There at the sidelines stood U‘khaya with a gleeful expression on her face. She knew this would happen, he realised. But A’viloh wasn’t the kind of person to blame her for what happened…
U‘khuba‘s twin sister had always been following the boys around even when they all had still been kids. She had been a brave and stubborn little girl, maybe a little mean sometimes but not more so than her brother. A‘viloh had always thought she was following them because of Khuba - twins being inseparable or something. Never had he imagined the reason would be Laqa instead.
Of course he could have guessed it. Everyone loved Laqa! Apparently Khaya wasn’t an exception in this matter.
That evening - before the argument - A‘viloh had waited for quite some while by the pond. They had always used to hide there when they still had been kids, every time the other boys had stirred trouble or teased the girls.
By now it was one of the spots Laqa and him sometimes used as meeting points when they sneaked out of the settlement together. But today the other Miqo’te had arrived so late, A‘viloh had already started to wonder if something had happened.
“There you are!”, Aviloh said relieved as Laqa finally appeared just when he was about to go searching for him. “I was already worried. Did something happen?”
The blonde Miqo’te made an annoyed face. “Just Khaya happened…”
A’viloh didn’t understand. “Khaya? What’s wrong with her?”
“Everything apparently!”, Laqa exclaimed disgruntled, which made A‘viloh even more confused.
Laqa sighed.
“She waylaid me on my way outside.”, he explained but couldn’t help to look a little angry still. “Started talking some nonsense about how impressed she was about the quarry from our last hunt and how it is a shame that it isn’t me leading the tribe instead of father.”
A’viloh furrowed his brows, still not quite connecting the dots. Laqa grimaced. “Then she threw herself at me and tried to kiss me.”
“She what?”, A‘viloh exclaimed a little louder than intended, with a mix of shock and disbelief on his face.
Laqa raised his hands in a calming manner. “Don’t worry! I of course told her that I am not interested. Like I ever would be anyway! We may be almost the same age but she is still my mother’s sister. What was she even thinking, Vi?”
A‘vi shrugged but couldn’t help to remember something one of Laqa’s sisters had once told him. “Lamana mentioned that Khaya didn’t agree with some of U‘odh‘s opinions. She thought her and Khuba were still mad with him because of their father…”
“That makes no sense! They have no reason for that! It’s not like father threw them all out!”, Laqa said annoyed. “Alone because of mom he wouldn’t have! Anyway, grandpa had been old already, if not father then someone else would sooner or later have challenged him. All of them were always treated equally. Why would they be mad?”
A’viloh gave another shrug and smiled weakly. “Maybe it’s none of that and she really just is a little in love with you… I can’t blame her…”
Laqa lightly glared at him, as if he wanted to say “this isn’t funny”, but couldn’t help to grin himself.
“It’s still absurd!”, he said while shaking his head.
“You think?”, A‘viloh asked and chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if half the village was secretly in love with you.”
Laqa made a sound somewhere between an annoyed huff and a suppressed laugh. Then he stretched out a hand for A‘viloh to take. As A‘viloh did so Laqa pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him. “Too bad for them that the only one I will ever love is you.”
All too willingly - too carelessly! - A’viloh melted into the other Miqo’te’s embrace. Laqa saying things like this never failed to give him a warm and fuzzy feeling. Just as much as Laqa kissing him always made his heart skip a beat and his mind go silent.
Gently A‘viloh wrapped his arms around the taller Miqo’te’s neck, like an invitation to pull him even closer and deepen their kiss, when suddenly a sound appeared nearby. Their ears, currently slightly drooped, attentively shot up and both Miqo’te instinctively turned to see where the unexpected sound had come from.
Without doubt, there by one of the larger rocks nearby, eyes wide and mouth agape in disbelief, stood a Miqo’te girl with dark hair and bright blue eyes.
Khaya!
This was the exact moment A‘viloh knew he was in trouble.
“Khaya…”, Laqa was the first one to find his voice again. He sounded almost as if he wanted to reassure a shy animal, but it only made the girl unfreeze, whirl around and run away. “No! Khaya, wait!”, Laqa called and ran after her. He probably wanted to explain, wanted to beg her to stay silent, but A‘viloh knew it was too late already.
With his heart hammering against his chest and his thoughts racing he stood there and just watched them go. For a second he wondered what he should do now. But he had nowhere else to go, probably no one else who would defend him apart from Laqa. So slowly he followed them back to the settlement, wishing he could just vanish into thin air.
***
“Tell me this isn’t the thruth.”, U‘odh demanded from his son. His voice was still relatively calm but there already was a tone in it, a kind of threatening sound that also reflected on his face.
For a moment the thought crossed A’viloh’s mind, that Laqa could simply have lied. That he simply could have denied everything. Maybe, just maybe, his father would have believed him.
But that wasn’t like Laqa.
“It’s true!”, Laqa admitted and turned his face a little bit to look at A‘viloh, who so far had stood a few steps behind him, trying to stay out of U’odh’s attention. “A‘vi and I are a couple.”
A murmur went through the crowd and somehow even A‘viloh felt surprised to hear him say this so bluntly for everyone to hear. U‘odh laughed, but it lacked any humor. A’viloh already looked very uncomfortable but when the nunh’s sharp eyes landed on him, he almost flinched away and cast his eyes down to the ground.
“That weak little welp?!”, U’odh spat out, speaking to his son but still looking and pointing at A’viloh. “What do you want with him?! He’s good for nothing!”
A’viloh had never quite understood this either. There were so many better people than him and still Laqa had chosen him instead. Carefully A‘viloh glimpsed up at Laqa and could see his whole body tense up against the nunh’s insulting words. Stubbornly Laqa stared into his father’s eyes and growled.
“Don’t you dare to speak of him like that! I don’t care if he can fight or not, he is kind and wonderful and I love him!”
But U‘odh simply shook his head and laughed condescendingly.
“Love?! Don’t be foolish now… you know nothing about love.”
That had been too much for Laqa.
Usually no one dared to speak up against U‘odh no matter how harsh his words sometimes were. But Laqa, in a way just like his father and in another just like his mother, never had known how to back down. The anger about the situation and also about his father didn’t help, so his next words sounded especially blunt and sharp, more so than he probably truly thought.
“More than you! You wouldn’t recognise love if it stood right in front of you! Because you are just a bitter resentful man who doesn’t know how to love!”
Shocked gasps sounded from the crowd and everybody stared at either Laqa or his father, waiting for a reaction. For a few long seconds both remained silent. But while Laqa just stared at the older Miqo’te with a stubborn, unyielding face, the nunh‘s face changed slowly but entirely. All the mockery faded from his face and instead his expression turned to an angry snarl.
A‘viloh knew he would only end up in the crossfire but if he didn’t do something now, they would certainly fight and that was the last thing any of them could want. He didn’t really know what to say but scraped up all his bravery and stepped forward a bit. Trying to divert their attention from each other he spoke up, still quiet but clearly audible against this deadly silence.
“Please stop, I don’t —“
But U’odh wasn’t going to listen to whatever he had to say. Furiously he whirled towards him and stepped closer with wild rage in his eyes.
“No one allowed YOU to speak, you pathetic little weakling! Get out of my sight, you are none of my kin and I never want to see your whiny face again! You are nothing but a parasite and I have suffered your presence here for long enough! Begone! You are no longer welcome here!”
Of course. A‘viloh had expected this but it still hurt to hear these words out loud. He tried not to cry but already looked quite miserable already, even without tears. U’odh however wasn’t done with him yet.
“Oh, how I regret the day I allowed you to stay here! I wish you had just died with the rest of your miserable family!”, the nunh hissed and looked as if he was about to attack A‘viloh with more than just hurtful words.
With tears in his eyes A‘viloh shivered in fear and flinched away. He had never seen U’odh so furious before. But before the man could loose his self-control entirely and really tried to strike at him, Laqa stepped between them and protectively wrapped his arms around A‘viloh.
Instantly everything went silent again. Everyone seemed shocked by what had happened or what U’odh had just said. Even the nunh himself seemed stunned when he saw his son’s disgusted face, staring at him. But U‘odh was not the kind of man to give in or admit his failures. Instead he quietly but sharply said, “Don’t look at me so. My word is final. He is none of our family and I want him gone by tomorrow.”
With a strange mixture of defiance and sadness Laqa looked at his father for a moment, before he spoke.
“In that case I don’t consider you my family any longer either. A place where A‘vi isn’t welcome I cannot call my home. If you send him away, I will go with him!”
Briefly a shadow crossed his face but then U’odh looked entirely unfazed again.
“Where would you even go?”, he asked and shook his head dismissively.
“Anywhere but here...”, Laqa replied coldly and turned to A’viloh. “Let’s go and pack our things.”
All of this had happened so suddenly A’viloh still could not quite believe it. No matter what U’odh had said, for him this place was still his home and the people here the closest thing he had to a family. He didn’t want to leave.
“What? Now?”, he asked and pleadingly looked to Laqa, hoping that there was some way to make everything right after all.
“Yes! I’m sure we can stay with the Flames for one night and tomorrow morning we leave.”
His decision seemed to be final, just as U’odh’s. What was A’viloh supposed to do against that?
Laqa made a point of taking A‘viloh’s hand so everyone could see it and knew to whom his loyalty belonged. Slowly he let his gaze wander over the crowd of curious faces giving them one last chance to speak up but they all remained silent.
With a last disappointed look at his father he turned around and walked away, unconcerned that they all stared at them as they left.
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#ff14 screenshots#ffxiv gpose#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Laqa Tia#I'm sorry for writing Avi in distress again...#but I was thinking about writing this for so long now it was only a matter of when instead of if#Besides now me not using the U for Laqa's name tag maybe makes some more sense XD#btw the title is a line of lyrics#I wonder if anyone recognizes it...#probably not though...#Its from a song called Family by Badflower#It may not fit perfectly... maybe its more of a Laqa song... but I think it has good bits for each of their feelings probably...#besides am I the only person wondering if Miqo’te have a rather Targaryen approach to relationships?#once again I feel like I have to say a few defending words about U’odh xD#First it wasn’t the fact of A‘vi being a guy that annoyed him - I think that’s pretty much not an issue in this world#Just the fact that Miqo’te culture seems very survival of the fittest to me#and A‘vi while helping with whatever work there is in the village is just not particularly strong or anything#also I think U‘odh honestly loves all of his children just can’t show it very well due to this whole you have to look strong mentality xD#I also think he at least really loved Laqa’s mother after all I imagine he challenged her father just so he was allowed to be with her…#Tbh I build so much background lore about this whole family in my head it’s absolutely ridiculous xD#Maybe an issue for him not approving Laqa being in love with someone as weak as A’viloh is also Laqa’s mother#I imagine she was a good hunter but also didn’t have a good health and died of some sickness resulting from that which broke his heart#enough rambling of lore I should put into text instead of here 🙈
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on behalf of my gramma i think i should be allowed to tear people who make ai generated cross stitch and crochet patterns limb from limb thank you very much
#how is that for ANCESTRAL RAGE#is it quite as bad as the ai generated images of ‘finished crochet projects’ that get posted onto crochet facebook groups#making a bunch of older people susceptible to getting fooled by it#feel as if the REAL things they make are inadequate in comparison to a thing that literally does not and could not exist? i suppose no BUT#translating those soulless fucking generated images into a pattern? with little stupid arbitrary Generated Details that make NO sense but ar#necessary for the pattern????#listen people put their hearts and souls and HOURS AND DAYS AND WEEKS AND WHAT HAVE YOU INTO THEIR CRAFT#and you can’t be bothered to put in effort to even create what a pattern is BASED ON?#like. dont get me wrong. i like that there are things you can use to convert an image into a pattern. cool! convenient though alterations ma#may be necessary!#but. plugging words into a site with no real care and then plugging that into a generator saying good enough#and then being like. cool okay pay us and spend weeks TOILING over this pattern we put not a MICROSCOPIC level of effort into??????#it’s so fucking manipulative especially considering the generation so many people looking for cross stitch patterns are in#like they don’t know to look out for this not to mention how!!!!!#rant over for now but god. im fucking seething
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inspired by @colap1nto <3 and posting here to hold myself accountable: writevember! attempting to write something every day no matter how much and what it is
i am however inventing stipulations for myself so i cannot weasel my way out of it, which includes a valid definition of “write”:
actively put words into a document in the form of a proper fic!!! too many wip not enough hands!!
poems (actually laughed at me coming up with this but maybe i will go back to my roots)
research/meta/primers
tag stories are permissible IF i actually compile and edit them into a readable document that day
editing to post to ao3 (the optimism) is also valid. it takes me so long
i do have concrete arbitrary deadlines for one and a half fics that i would LOVE to finish and post in november (dewey^2 and [redacted :)]) so i’m hoping this helps!! also, this is secretly just a sticker chart where i get to put down emojis for each fic i worked on and check off boxes but a win is a win
day 1:🪻🐈⬛
day 2: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 3:🫃2️⃣
day 4: 🍎
day 5:🫃2️⃣
day 6: 📑, 💌
day 7:🫃2️⃣ AND ☁️💧. who is she
day 8:🪻🐈⬛
day 9:🫃2️⃣
day 10:🫃2️⃣
day 11:🫃2️⃣ we are on a STREAK and also a countdown 🫡
day 12:🫃2️⃣
day 13:🫃2️⃣
day 14: 📬💍
day 15: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 16:🫃2️⃣
day 17: 🔴 ⚫️,🫃2️⃣
day 18:🪻🐈⬛
day 19:🪻🐈⬛, 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)
day 20:🫃2️⃣
day 21:🫃2️⃣, 🤫 🪽🃏
day 22:🫃2️⃣
day 23: 💯❕
day 24: 🪢
day 25: 🐛🏮🦋
day 26:🫃2️⃣
day 27:🫃2️⃣
day 28:🫃2️⃣
day 29:🫃2️⃣
day 30:🫃2️⃣
WRITEMBER RECAP: an overall sucess!!!! this was so much fun and really forced me to write even if it was only a little bit every day. like, to the point that i'm debating doing a cute little twelve days of christmas snippet fest. absolutely could not have finished and published dewey^2 p2 without this challenge or posted p3 :)
thirty days of writing
twelve different fics worked on
poems: 1
i have no word count for you sorry i wish i did but it is at least over a few thousand words!!!!
times i wrote for a day past midnight (making it technically the next day) but because i was still awake i counted it for that day: at least 17 if not closer to like. 25
tags i forgot what they mean: one. what the FUCK is 🪢??? OH MY GOD I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT IS NEVERMIND
duolingo streak (worked on the same fic in a row): 5
#liv in the replies#guys are you proud of me. i put everything I would normally yap into the tags in the actual post. hashtag growth#i say continuing to yap into the tags. I don’t want to be pessimistic but I AM scared this is occurring during my monthly bout of#productivity and I will face the doldrums and absolute inability to write in 2-4 days lol#also everyone says this next systems course is GARBAGE and terrible and super hard which. okay 💗 yay 💗#I should’ve put “reply to ao3 comments’ as a valid form of writing because the comment box terrifies me but it’s FINE#if you have ever commented on my fic I love you with every unspeakable fiber of my being and there is one comment I feel so guilty about#but it’s because every time I think about it I need to go jump around in circles I can’t fangirl too hard I also cannot find the WORDS#like even typing this out i’m like. anxious butterfly but it’s because I have so much love in my heart#also i am codifying the emojis to fics for Me sorry because I think it’s fun and i’m being secretive for literally no reason.#everyone tell me to get off of here and work on an actual fic. after I have my nik-induced/enabled 2353 breakdown#we hit day five and yes I DID forcibly make myself not work on a completely different fic. i wannnntttt to finishhhhh 🫃^2 2️⃣ so badddd#& this is not a game of ‘work on a different wip every day’ even if i could feasibly do that🫡 good news is i rlly think 3 -> 1 1/2 is done?#update 11/10 (technically 11/11 but it’s fine this is how it normally works) if i write like an unhinged person which is to say at all#bc i have midterms but also really like an unhinged person i MIGHT be able to adhere to my self-imposed deadline for 🫃2️⃣. god bless me#at 1:30AM yesterday having an absolute breakthrough with a line that has been in some variation in so many different fics including mine#for myself specifically because i keep having this moment: 🪢 is the fic in the bottom of the yowling doc lmao.
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the supermega situation is genuinely the most disappointed and devastated i’ve been in quite some time. i’ve been watching them for probably around eight years. they have been the ONLY youtubers i’ve exclusively followed for years (since jenna marbles left). i held ryan magee in SUCH high regard. (i liked matt but he always gave me asshole vibes ngl. i just never had a reason to dislike him until now). but, hearing this about ryan, oh my fucking god. oh my god. i’m not defending them AT ALL, i’m just heartbroken something i held so near and dear has been taken from me. in such a disgusting way.
their response was so pathetic, and their actions have been so shitty. they were such a huge part of my life, i have them to thank for my sense of humor, and making me feel better on the shittiest of days. i grew up with them. i only had love for them, so for this to happen. i can’t even process it.
#i can’t put in to words how much i idolized them#from seventh grade all the way through college#and this has made me lose faith in men#not a feminist issue obviously but#i just genuinely believed ryan magee was such a good person#i genuinely thought he would never do anything like this#if mcr does anything problematic that will be my breaking point#supermega#ryan magee#matt watson#i’m so fucking sorry zeph i don’t know who you are but you deserve better
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