#SO LEAVE ME ALONE

[rootmash]

gwen and murderface: the reboot

[rainydaysie]

Into the Pit more like into. um. i dont lknow please stop asking me

[meownzter]

in a not too distant universe

[imsocks-1]

He really needs to learn he can’t do everything himself.

[wikitpowers]

kit almost died in qoaad and his first thought on what he thought was his death bed was to apologise to ty and tell him he loved him again and-

[cassetteboy]

I can't believe I remembered Spike having black eyes wrong. They're BLUE. Why are they BLUE?!

[darkacademiaarchivist]

ok I am once again having Thoughts on Nimona:

This has been said before but Nimona and Gloreth's backstory is so incredibly heartbreaking especially because it never occurred to Gloreth to treat Nimona differently because she's a shapeshifter, she just thought it was really cool and they kept being friends. BECAUSE THATS HOW KIDS ARE!!! Yes kids can be incredibly cruel sometimes (I got bullied a lot, I know) but they generally don't care about what's "normal" or not. Prejudice because of specific differences is taught. It's not something that people would naturally do and maybe that's the reason this movie hit me so hard right now because there's all these people demonising queer people lately and I've been do frustrated with people saying that having idk, two dad's in a kid's book will confuse the children...

Nimona isnt just a queer story because there's canon representation but because of the THEMES. Nimona and Gloreth just gave me the vibes of children who behave outside of heteronormativity and get told that they're not supposed to do that and then internalise all that hater and direct it at people who refuse to fit themselves into a box...

Also the fact that Nimona was just defending herself again a mob of people and was made out to be the monster???? What the fuck man....

[atticollateral]

listening to Ghost again and im.

You have never stood this close, to where you want to be You have always waded in the shallows Between me and the deep blue sea You'd never want me to appear You'd never want it to be over You never wanted to reach out to the edge of time

my jaw is on the floor. we're skipping a few lines but-

While you sleep in earthly delight Still your soul will suffer this plight Like your father in hell What you've sold you can not unsell

punching my pillow. gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

[outofangband]

(Just some more free form Maedhros post Angband thoughts as I work on revising my more detailed trauma posts! As always more can be found in the post Angband tag

Note: I now have a specific tag for the status and conditions of former prisoners in Beleriand in addition to my post Angband tag. It’s “but ever the Noldor feared”. There’s obviously overlap between this and my post Angband tags because the ways trauma manifests and how it’s understood or misunderstood contributes to the dynamics but I wanted to have a specific tag for it!

Semi related post

Written in part for @nelyoslegalteam for always being so kind about my Maedhros content

but the shadow of his pain was on his heart

This is one of the only lines we receive with regards to Maedhros’s ordeal in Angband. Despite how brief it is I find it so poignant and evocative.

Beleriand lies in the shadow of Angband and that shadow lives in the hearts of those who know intimately that place of horror

A shadow darkens, it envelops, it obscures, and it does everything. Maedhros’s pain, the fear and grief and anger and shame that now live within him, can at times seem to eclipse all that he does and is.

Maedhros’s memories are glass and he cannot hold them without bringing blood, sharp and fragile as though contained something that would shatter around his thoughts and feelings when they came close to the surface. Often pieces would dig in so one word spoken, one finger upon his neck, one whiff of the suffocating smell of blood and heat and iron would embed itself in him until he wanted nothing more than oblivion. The throne room floor, the chains around his limbs and his neck. The voice of the Moringotto.

It could take him as suddenly as the sun obscured, the weight of his body as the ghost of his chains choked him.

And to others. The shadow of his pain is in his heart and upon his bearing; even years after there is pain in his steps on certain days, if you know how to see it.

(just a side note: the description of Tulkas's feelings seeing Melkor in Morgoth's Ring, how it "clouded his mirth" is genuinely such a good description of trauma even if it was intended that way)

The scrutiny that former thralls are subjected to becomes another shadow over him, one that he is perpetually aware of. Even when he has done nothing to cause any to doubt his loyalty, even when he pushes himself to the brink of collapse to fight and plan against the enemy, there are those who will never trust one who has returned from the pits of hell, who hold that he still lives against him or believe he simply wears the face of one of the Eldar

And for all that he is still fundamentally Maedhros, there are those who will see only the ways he has changed from the memories or stories of him that came before

The ways that one survives in Angband do not fade once one is no longer physically confined there. Angband seeks to strip away everything that one is and the fight to reclaim it is vicious, agonizing, and unsightly. The shame that weighs upon survivors is melded with the mistrust and hostility with which they are viewed with by others.

Survivors are known to steal (because nothing can be theirs and they do not trust that they will be given anything without a terrible price), to lie (because they have been forced to choke down the truth when it might lead to further pain, and so much leads to pain), they are known to attack even their own kin (because they are so very afraid).

Maedhros is not like this. He does not lie (not that might be detected) or steal and if he does not any longer attack others out of the fear they might not see

And his status, both before and after his imprisonment absolutely ease this particular burden. He might be among kinslaying nobles but they are nobles nonetheless and the mistrust and even hostility that is felt towards him, specifically regarding his captivity, is certainly mitigated by this. But it still reaches him.

His kinship to others who have been in the Hells of iron is a precarious thing. He can use it to his advantage at times and it can be used against him.

And as another shadow, post Angband there is always the ever present fear of imprisonment again. It ranges from a creeping dread to a visceral, desperate panic that can override all strategy and reason. Especially after some years of recovering and of recovering himself, there is the profound resolve that he cannot return to what he was there and that any violence or death, including and at times perhaps especially his own, is preferable to imprisonment and powerlessness to the extent that he suffered in Angband.

He will not go back to that again even if it means becoming unrecognizable in new ways.

[ninja-rehab-obito]

This is Sasuke. I will be back. Naruto, don’t come searching for me again… please. Kakashi, I saved your stupid CD but I think it’s a good sign that Obito is burning movies instead of villages.

If you’re wondering why I’m halfway to Suna, mind your business. I’m on a side quest. Obito, I know you’ll be reading this and you can’t delete it because you’re old and don’t know how. Deal with it. I’m going to bed and confiscating the laptop until morning, because no one wants to see two old men with an odd amount of sexual tension fighting when they’re trying to go to sleep. Goodnight.

[soupy-sez]

Beastie Boys with model Melia Hayes, 1987, © Waring Abbott

[the-lights-are-loud]

"Hey do you wanna come to this thing?"

"Nah, I'm gonna pass"

"Aww, why?"

DO I NEED TO GIVE YOU A FREAKING REASON???

[goblinunderabridge]

This is my like one borrower oc btw

I specialize in drawing him all over my school work.

I think his names Louis but lowkey do not have a name for him, love him though

[legolasghosty]

Hello I'm venting my frustration into fictional characters so have my first ever posted Red White and Royal Blue fic apparently.

---------

Alex shoved open the door to his and Henry's brownstone, barely taking a moment to kick off his shoes before he faceplanted on the couch. His backpack straps dug into his shoulders like this, but he couldn't bring himself to care very much. The dark blue cushions blocked out the world just enough for him to stop wanting to tear his hair from his scalp.

"Well hello to you too," his boyfriend remarked from somewhere off to Alex's left, his tone clearly a step away from a laugh. "How was the library?"

"I'm dead," Alex mumbled into the couch, not bothering to turn his head. The darkness was helping to ease the pounding headache that had started... an hour ago? Two hours? He wasn't sure anymore.

"What was that, love?" Henry asked, sounding closer now.

Alex could just barely make out his soft footsteps as he approached the couch. "I'm dead," he repeated, attempting to roll onto his side. Unfortunately, his backpack got in the way, so he just ended up stuck with one arm pinned under his body. Was this how turtles felt when they ended up on their backs? Were they okay with people flipping them back over?

"Well that's a tragedy," Henry commented, not sounding upset in the slightest.

Alex felt hands tugging at his backpack. It took him a moment to get with the program, but then he managed to shift enough that Henry could slide the straps from his shoulders and drop it beside the couch. Had he agreed to that? Was it okay if he hadn't? Like legally?

"Alright," Henry said as he settled down on the couch beside Alex's head, "what's all this about?"

"There's too many kinds of research and they all have different rules but they all have to fit under the same definition and I don't think I can ever have sex again," Alex groaned, finally making it onto his side.

Henry didn't say anything at first. Alex managed to steal a look up at his face and slowly realized that the lack of words was an attempt to hold back laughter.

"Hey, 't's not funny," he complained, slapping weakly at his boyfriend's knee. "These stupid HSR trainings are going to haunt me!"

"Sounds like a very serious matter," Henry responded with a chuckle. He slid his (very nice) hands under Alex's shoulders and lifted him up just enough that he could move over and lower Alex's head down onto his lap. Alex couldn't help the little sigh of relief that escaped his lips when Henry slid his fingers into his dark, curly hair. "Though I must admit I'm missing the connection between ethical research practices and your newly announced celibacy."

Alex glared up at his boyfriend. It was probably undercut by the way his eyes slid shut a moment later as Henry ran his nails gently over his scalp though. Curse this stupid prince and his intimate knowledge of Alex's weaknesses. "Three. Hour. Long. Video Series. On Informed Consent," he groaned.

Henry stared down at him for a moment, then shook his head, his lips parting in that soft smile that was just for Alex. "I see," he murmured.

"I will never be able to talk about consent in a non-boring legal way ever again," Alex moaned. "My sex life is over."

"That's unfortunate indeed," Henry hummed, his free hand coming up to trace over Alex's shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Leave me to my inevitable demise?" Alex offered weakly.

"Not going to happen," Henry said immediately. Alex couldn't resist the smile that pulled at his lips at his partner's certainty. "How about Thai food and Bake Off instead?"

Alex reached up, ignoring how it took him a couple of tries to actually catch hold of Henry's sweatshirt collar and tug him down for a kiss. He kept it brief for the sake of Henry's neck, but the look in his boyfriend's eyes when he let go told him Henry got the message.

"I love you too," Henry said. Then he tapped Alex's shoulder lightly. "Alright, up, I need my phone to order the food."

"Fine," Alex sulked, forcing himself to sit up. "Go fast."

"What, you want me for something?" Henry teased as he headed for the kitchen. "I thought you were swearing off sexual encounters for all of time."

"You're mean, baby," Alex groaned.

"I thought you liked it when I was mean to you," Henry responded lightly.

"Stoppppp." Alex forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to plaster himself against Henry's back.

Henry laughed and shushed him before hitting the call button for their favorite Thai place. Alex sighed dramatically and tucked his face into the crook of Henry's neck. The soft vibrations of his skin as he ordered their favorites shoved all of the day's troubles out their front door and slammed it behind them. The way Henry's accent rounded his vowels smoothed out the jagged edges of Alex's broken sanity. The steady beat of the prince's pulse against his cheek evened out the erratic rhythm of Alex's own heart.

"Come on, let's get some water in you before the food gets here," Henry murmured after ending the call.

"Love you," Alex muttered. "Gonna kiss you so much later."

"Good, I love you too," Henry chuckled. "Let's go, darling. Water, then we can cuddle."

"M'kay."

Alex ended up falling asleep on the couch in the middle of their third episode, but the next morning had him thinking maybe he could talk about consent without thinking about his homework. Especially when Henry asked so nicely.

[gorgraoroctoberforever]

We picked you because we saw greatness,

We picked you because you were the best.

We picked you and you loved us,

And we loved you too.

We called you a name,

We made you home.

Between our game,

Between the unknown.

When we made you a new house,

We loved you.

When we knew it was a coffin,

We loved you.

When we kissed you nose goodbye,

We loved you.

When we sent you to the sky,

We loved you.

You were confused, most likely,

Scared, certainly.

And we loved you.

As the engine died,

As you were left alone in the dark,

No one you could recognize around,

In a space too small yet too vast.

Did you know that we loved you ?

Did it matter ?

You died like a star,

And we never saw you again,

We were the reason, I'm afraid.

At never again, my friend.

[dogearedheart]

one thing about me is that I'll get overly protective over the people I care about