#Funny story I am actually suffering through the HSR training Alex describes

[legolasghosty]

Hello I'm venting my frustration into fictional characters so have my first ever posted Red White and Royal Blue fic apparently.

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Alex shoved open the door to his and Henry's brownstone, barely taking a moment to kick off his shoes before he faceplanted on the couch. His backpack straps dug into his shoulders like this, but he couldn't bring himself to care very much. The dark blue cushions blocked out the world just enough for him to stop wanting to tear his hair from his scalp.

"Well hello to you too," his boyfriend remarked from somewhere off to Alex's left, his tone clearly a step away from a laugh. "How was the library?"

"I'm dead," Alex mumbled into the couch, not bothering to turn his head. The darkness was helping to ease the pounding headache that had started... an hour ago? Two hours? He wasn't sure anymore.

"What was that, love?" Henry asked, sounding closer now.

Alex could just barely make out his soft footsteps as he approached the couch. "I'm dead," he repeated, attempting to roll onto his side. Unfortunately, his backpack got in the way, so he just ended up stuck with one arm pinned under his body. Was this how turtles felt when they ended up on their backs? Were they okay with people flipping them back over?

"Well that's a tragedy," Henry commented, not sounding upset in the slightest.

Alex felt hands tugging at his backpack. It took him a moment to get with the program, but then he managed to shift enough that Henry could slide the straps from his shoulders and drop it beside the couch. Had he agreed to that? Was it okay if he hadn't? Like legally?

"Alright," Henry said as he settled down on the couch beside Alex's head, "what's all this about?"

"There's too many kinds of research and they all have different rules but they all have to fit under the same definition and I don't think I can ever have sex again," Alex groaned, finally making it onto his side.

Henry didn't say anything at first. Alex managed to steal a look up at his face and slowly realized that the lack of words was an attempt to hold back laughter.

"Hey, 't's not funny," he complained, slapping weakly at his boyfriend's knee. "These stupid HSR trainings are going to haunt me!"

"Sounds like a very serious matter," Henry responded with a chuckle. He slid his (very nice) hands under Alex's shoulders and lifted him up just enough that he could move over and lower Alex's head down onto his lap. Alex couldn't help the little sigh of relief that escaped his lips when Henry slid his fingers into his dark, curly hair. "Though I must admit I'm missing the connection between ethical research practices and your newly announced celibacy."

Alex glared up at his boyfriend. It was probably undercut by the way his eyes slid shut a moment later as Henry ran his nails gently over his scalp though. Curse this stupid prince and his intimate knowledge of Alex's weaknesses. "Three. Hour. Long. Video Series. On Informed Consent," he groaned.

Henry stared down at him for a moment, then shook his head, his lips parting in that soft smile that was just for Alex. "I see," he murmured.

"I will never be able to talk about consent in a non-boring legal way ever again," Alex moaned. "My sex life is over."

"That's unfortunate indeed," Henry hummed, his free hand coming up to trace over Alex's shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Leave me to my inevitable demise?" Alex offered weakly.

"Not going to happen," Henry said immediately. Alex couldn't resist the smile that pulled at his lips at his partner's certainty. "How about Thai food and Bake Off instead?"

Alex reached up, ignoring how it took him a couple of tries to actually catch hold of Henry's sweatshirt collar and tug him down for a kiss. He kept it brief for the sake of Henry's neck, but the look in his boyfriend's eyes when he let go told him Henry got the message.

"I love you too," Henry said. Then he tapped Alex's shoulder lightly. "Alright, up, I need my phone to order the food."

"Fine," Alex sulked, forcing himself to sit up. "Go fast."

"What, you want me for something?" Henry teased as he headed for the kitchen. "I thought you were swearing off sexual encounters for all of time."

"You're mean, baby," Alex groaned.

"I thought you liked it when I was mean to you," Henry responded lightly.

"Stoppppp." Alex forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to plaster himself against Henry's back.

Henry laughed and shushed him before hitting the call button for their favorite Thai place. Alex sighed dramatically and tucked his face into the crook of Henry's neck. The soft vibrations of his skin as he ordered their favorites shoved all of the day's troubles out their front door and slammed it behind them. The way Henry's accent rounded his vowels smoothed out the jagged edges of Alex's broken sanity. The steady beat of the prince's pulse against his cheek evened out the erratic rhythm of Alex's own heart.

"Come on, let's get some water in you before the food gets here," Henry murmured after ending the call.

"Love you," Alex muttered. "Gonna kiss you so much later."

"Good, I love you too," Henry chuckled. "Let's go, darling. Water, then we can cuddle."

"M'kay."

Alex ended up falling asleep on the couch in the middle of their third episode, but the next morning had him thinking maybe he could talk about consent without thinking about his homework. Especially when Henry asked so nicely.