#how do i function

[atticollateral]

listening to Ghost again and im.

You have never stood this close, to where you want to be You have always waded in the shallows Between me and the deep blue sea You'd never want me to appear You'd never want it to be over You never wanted to reach out to the edge of time

my jaw is on the floor. we're skipping a few lines but-

While you sleep in earthly delight Still your soul will suffer this plight Like your father in hell What you've sold you can not unsell

punching my pillow. gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

[ambiguousfrog]

what am i supposed to do now that ao3 is down

[cool-lesbian-is-here]

So basically, I was rewatching nailed it bc why TF not. AND MH BRAIN MADE IT INTO AN AU.

Ok so think about it:

Sirius as Nicole

Remus as Wes

Lily as jaqués

And random marauders era ppl as different guests

IT WOULD BE SO COOL, BC LIKE WES PUTS UP W ALL THE RANDOM SHIT NICOLE ASKS HIM TO DO AND STUFF AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE LIKE SUCH A NICE RELATIONSHIP, AND SIRIUS IS LIKE NUCOLE BC SHE DOES ABSOLUTELY RANDOM ASS SHIT. AND OFC WE NEED LILY AS JAQUÉS TO EXPLAIN SHIT, AND WHO DOESNT LIKE A GOOD PLATONIC LILYPAD?

I fear I am now in need of a nailed it AU. I’m severely fucked.

[dustyvent]

The way I have to force myself to cry to remind myself I still can

To somehow feel human again

[driver270]

Me: OK, I've set a timer for TWO hours to tell me to stop my button-mashing for the evening.

Me THREE Hours Later: Just one more side quest...

[armynoonas]

Tae en Weverse

🐻 scars/wounds of honour

[kittenkes]

I just finished reading Iron Flame and OH GODS WHAT HAPPENED TO XADEN

[facelessesper]

Sleep? What is that?

What stage of bad health is it when you realize you can't do things that involve thinking after being up for only 12 hours?

Because if I get up at 9am, and try to do something at 9pm, I quickly become delirious and progressively more insane.

Humans are supposed to healthily be up for 16 hours at a time nigh indefinitely, not fall apart 12 hours in. Sure there's the thing about not making important decisions an hour or two before bed, but I apparently can't handle making informed or even rational decisions if its been 12 hours since I got up.

[the-forestry-system]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

[ruinix]

Hey. Now, now.

no one talk to me i’m thinking about going to a fancy event with quinn. and you’re all dressed up to the nines and your shoes are hard to get on with your dress in the way

and so he’s on his knees in front of you on the couch, doing up the buckle on your heel and pushing your silky dress aside to reach it. and then he looks up at you from the floor and his hands travel up your thighs… and you know you’re definitely going to be late

What a way to wake up. I’m starting the day being a whore publicly

The minute he even starts dropping to his knees, you know you’re fucked. He’s had a dazed, feral look in his eyes since he saw you. You’re like a fucking art piece. He can’t cope. He can’t just casually go out now.

He does try and control himself.. slowing his movements down and pressing his nails into his palms until there’s red indents.

But when he looks up.. fuck.. the way you’re looking at him - it’s like you think he’s perfect.

Your buckles are easy - but he’s captivated with how small and fragile you are under his touch, how soft you are, how trusting you are. Dragging his hands up, feeling his self control shatter.

Feeling the warmth coming from you as his hands near your core.. you’re all ready for him.

You’re dripping for him - he can feel how your thighs are even soaked. He’s warmed you up so well with just his touch and the look on his face.

He can’t let himself fuck you. You’re too perfect. You should be in a museum.

His fingers however.. well that’s a given. He needs you crying and mewling. He’ll help you fix your makeup.. as long as you sit there and take it.

[tempo-takoyaki]

"Are you satisfied yet?"

[dopplerdora]

So is it normal to want a capable woman (not sure why woman, I may have other problems) to pet my head and control all the complex stuff in my life that confuses me? Like not in a sexyal way just... being taken care of? Like in in my late dang 20s and my brain constantly feels like it doesn't work and I need sombody to either direct me or complement the amount of effort I need to put in to function.

[fictionadventurer]

How did Treasure Planet manage to come up with the greatest aesthetic in all human history? Victorian elegance plus space-age flair, with just enough dirt and grime and wear and tear to make it feel real? A combination of traditional and computer animation that perfectly embodies the movie's blend of old and futuristic? How does it get any better than that?

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.