#SO DO WHAT YOU GOTTA AND ANTHROPOLOGY IS SO COOL

[analogwriting]

HI JUST A HEADS UP I saw you posted a new chapter but I’ll have to wait a bit to read because life’s been crazy (call me nico robin because I got into university to study Antropology) BUT I BET IT’S AS PERFECT AS USUAL KEEP IT GOING KING

- number 1 kese hater

GJSKDK LMFAO OMFG YOU'RE SO FINE WHAT ✋✋ THE CHAPTER WILL BE HERE WHENEVER YOURE READY NO PRESSURE JDFKSKCK

also that's so fuckin cool!!! that was my first option before i ended up with forensic pathology (n before i dropped out)bc i thought anthropology was so cool (I still do) we got our very own nico robin on our hands frfr 😤😤

FJDKFKD YOURE TOO KIND!! ALSO GOOD LUCK AND REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF 🗣️🗣️ DONT PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD 🗣️🗣️

[kindersurprisebacterium]

Mister (Ghost/Reader)

CW: DILF Ghost, age gap, best friend's father, cunilingus, fingering, vaginal sex, overstimulation (kinda), alcohol use, reader is in college

Gender Neutral AFAB Reader

WC: 3.2k

On the corner of a caul-du-sac sat a cookie-cutter house. The front was adorned with terracotta brick walls. Nearly trimmed hedges and flower beds lined the driveway. It was suburbia. Different from the campus housing I was used to downtown. 

I was hesitant to come here. Sleepovers seemed…juvenile. But Audrey and I seemed to get along well, even after knowing each other for only two weeks. So I packed up a night’s worth of clothes and some toiletries and met her in the corridor after lecture. 

Her neighborhood was only fifteen minutes outside of the city. The speakers shook the car. Wind whipped through my hair as we sped down the highway. 

I felt odd being here, needless to say. Maybe it had to do with the fact that her dad would be home. I stepped out of her lifted truck, pulling my bag behind me. Her carabiner clinked as she unlocked the front door. I watched as she stepped inside and kicked off her shoes before following behind. 

“My rooms upstairs. You can put all your bags there.” Audrey said, pointing to the staircase. 

“Cool. You gotta show me that poster you were talking about” I grinned. She’d already started up the stairs. The hardwood creaked beneath my feet as I followed her. 

“I was in line for like…three hours? They cut the line of right after me.”

We turned down a corridor filled with picture frames. My eyes skimmed across each one. School pictures, beach trips, vacations abroad, and family photos that were obviously taken in a JC Penny. I jumped when my eyes met a pair of glaring brown irises. 

A man stood before me, leaning in the doorway of an office. Silver curls sat atop his head. Faded scars, years old by now, adorned his pale face. He had a stern look on his face, a look that was somewhere between apathy and annoyance. Maybe that was just his face. 

His arms, covered in intricate black ink, crossed over his broad chest. Even through a thick sweatshirt, I could tell he was well-built. My jaw clenched tightly as the man eyed me. 

“Oh dad, this is my friend from anthropology I was telling you about. They’re staying over tonight,” Audrey spoke up, gesturing to me with her painted nails. 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Riley,” I said, extending my hand. 

“Simon.” He gripped my hand and shook it with a jarring strength. His palms were big enough to nearly engulf my hand. He let go, sliding his hand into his pocket. I turned to face Audrey. She pulled me into her room, closing the door behind the both of us. 

She pulled a framed poster from the wall and held it out for me to see. In the bottom right corner in silver sharpie was a swirling signature from the lead singer of a metal band. 

“Isn’t it so cool?!”

I couldn’t focus on the movie, or the bottle of beer in my hand. My mind kept going back to Simon. I don’t know what it was about him. Maybe it was the way he looked at me as if I was nothing. Maybe it was his grip on my hand. Or his gruff voice.

I felt…embarrassed? I haven’t felt this way about someone since middle school. My mind kept replaying that moment in his head. The way he said his own name. The way his arms flexed when he crossed them over his chest. 

These scattered thoughts flooded my mind for hours. I couldn’t sleep. I glanced back at Audrey, who was out like a light with a puddle of drool on her pillow. Gritting my teeth, I slowly moved off of the mattress. My eyes stayed locked on her sleeping frame, looking for any sign of movement. Nothing. Sighing, I stepped out of the room. Maybe another drink would quell the thoughts. 

I crept down the hallway, walking on my toes. A beam of light caught my eye as I rounded the corner. The kitchen light was on. The steps whined beneath my weight as I descended. Brown eyes locked onto me. 

Simon sat at the kitchen island. His right hand was on his computer mouse, the other resting under his chin. He closed his laptop.

My skin felt hot as his eyes ran up and down my body. I tugged at the hem of my shorts, now acutely aware of how they rode up my thighs. 

“You’re up late,” he muttered. 

“I uh, couldn’t sleep,” I said with a smile that was a little too forced. I stepped into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge, jumping when I heard his chair moving from behind me. My fingers wrapped around the neck of another bottle. As I closed the fridge door, a head of grey hair appeared from behind it. 

He was closer now, leaning on the kitchen island with a glass in hand. 

“Anthropology…” he mumbled, “why’d you choose that?”

“It’s a part of my psychology course,” I explained as I twisted the top off of the bottle. I held the cap in my hand as I took a swig. The amber liquid made my throat tingle as I swallowed. This was more than I’d drank in a while, but I needed it if I wanted to deal with the man in front of me, the man who was slowly stepping closer. 

I could feel my heart in my ears as he approached the fridge. His arm bumped into me as he set his cup underneath the water fountain. Out of the corner of his eyes, he stared at me. My face felt hot. I pursed my lips, looking away hoping he wouldn’t see my flushed face. 

I heard his throat squelch as he swallowed, not daring to look. He sighed and reached his arm across me. The glass clinked as he set it in the sink. I was waiting for him to pull back, give me room to breathe, but he didn’t budge. My eyes traced up his inked arm, to his face. His eyes were fixated on me, staring through me. I felt naked under his gaze. 

“You’re shaking.” He placed a hand on my waist. If anything, his touch made it worse. My entire body was quivering. Whether from nerves or anticipation, I couldn’t tell. He stepped forward, close enough that his thighs brushed against my hip. 

“You’re shaking,” he repeated. His fingertips grazed my chin, gently tilting my head up to look at him. 

“I know.” My voice was barely a whisper. The corner of his lips curled up into a smirk. He was getting a kick out of this, and somehow that made it even hotter. 

“You nervous?” He asked. It didn’t seem like a question if he already knew the answer. His eyes flicked between my lips, and my eyes. Every time his eyes met mine, I could feel it in my stomach.

“I-” I couldn’t get the words out. His lips were on mine. The warmth of his kiss slowly melted away the tension in my muscles. By the time his hands were on my hips, I was putty in his grasp. I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I didn’t have to stand on my toes. His fingers slid into the waistband of my shorts. 

“Wait, I don’t want to wake Audrey,” I pushed my hands against his chest, breaking the kiss. 

“So we go to my room.” His tongue slid up my neck. The tips of his fingers grazed along my hipbones but didn’t date to go another inch forward. 

“But-”

“When’s the last time you’ve had a good fuck,” he asked, speaking against my neck. He punctuated his words with a kiss along my carotid. My lips pursed. I could feel my hands clench into fists. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. Audrey was the first friend I’d made all year, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. The throbbing in my core drew my attention. Every inch of my body craved his touch. My head was spinning with desire. My breath grew shallower, quicker, as lust swept over me in full force. I couldn’t take it. There was just something about him. I needed to feel him. 

“Please don’t tell her,” I begged. My fingers latched onto the collar of his sweatshirt. He pulled back, just to see the look on my face. My lips were parted, eyes half lidded, and I’m sure the blush on my cheeks had deepened to a red. 

“I wouldn’t dare.” He picked me up by my waist and slung me over his shoulder. His palm rested on the small of my back, while his other arm hooked around the back of my legs. Simon approached the stairs, giving my thighs a squeeze as he ascended. He turned right down the hallway. My eyes locked onto Audrey’s door. I could feel my jaw clenching. Should I really be doing this?

The bedroom door clicked shut behind us. My back met the plush bedding. The mattress creaked underneath my weight. Simon pulled his shirt over his head. His muscles were defined, illuminated by the soft lighting. Thickened scar tissue dotted his body like ivy on an old wall. I couldn’t help but feel intimidated as he crawled on the bed. 

He sat between my legs. His fingers idly stroked my inner thighs. His stubble scratched the skin of my neck as he leaned in. He pressed kisses to my neck, traveling up to my jaw. 

“Can I take these off?” He asked, tugging at the hem of my shorts. My stomach fluttered. 

“Yeah,” I spoke softly. He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband and began tugging, jolting my body as he pulled them down my hips. I felt my face heat up as his gaze locked onto my cunt. He swiped his index finger through the wetness pooling in my core. The tip of his finger brushed against my clit. A whine caught in my throat. 

“I just know you’re not gonna be good for me.” He moved to lie on his stomach. His sharp canines pierced the skin of my thighs. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip to quell the onslaught of moans. 

His thumb circled my clit. The movements were slow at first. His eyes locked onto my cunt, almost as if he was waiting for something. I bucked my hips into his hand, and then he stopped. I whined, pouting my lip.

Warm, wet licks against my skin diminished my protests. His hips rutted against the bed as he slowly ate me out. My brows furrowed as his tongue flicked against my clit in sharp movements. Fingertips circled around my entrance before slowly sliding in. He moaned against my cunt. I clamped my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the cry that rose from my chest. 

Simon differed from anyone I’d slept with before. Foreplay was never a big part of my escapades, it was always straight to penetration. There was something about a man between my legs, moaning against my cunt, and looking up at me with pleading eyes that made my body heat up. 

Every movement of his was deliberate, from the way his fingers curled up ever so slightly with every thrust, to the way his palm rested on my stomach. It was as if he’d cast a spell on my limbs. My toes curled, fingers digging into the sheets. Each thought in my head slowly disappeared, replaced with the feeling of his tongue on my clit. I felt hot and sticky. Beads of sweat rolled down my chest. I gripped my shirt and pulled it from my body. 

His hand slid up my stomach until reaching my chest. He gripped my nipple between his index and thumb. My back arched off of the bed. His gaze seemed transfixed on me, soaking in my every reaction with those brown eyes. 

I tossed my head against the pillows. My stomach tensed as each flick of his tongue drew me further into bliss. His lips wrapped around my clit, sucking gently. My hand flew to his head, pulling his hair tight. A throbbing pain settled in my face as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My muscles went taut as I came on his tongue. 

He pulled away, skin slick with my wetness. His fingers kept slowly pumping inside of me. He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. I could taste myself on his skin. A whine swelled from within my throat. He slid another finger inside me, thrusting alongside the others.

“Simon,” I said against his lips. 

“Gotta make sure you can take me, love,” he groaned.

The nickname made my heart flutter in a way it shouldn’t. As the haze that clouded my head faded, I became acutely aware of what I was doing. I was fucking my friend’s dad. 

“You’re so tense. Come on, open up for me.” I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or my cunt. My breath hitched when his mouth lowered to my chest. He gently bit down on my nipple, laughing at the way it made me squirm. His brows furrowed as he sucked my skin into his mouth. 

With a soft pop, he pulled off of my nipple, only to dive back in. He sunk his teeth into my skin. I clenched around his fingers, earning a groan from him. His thumb brushed against my sensitive clit. My voice contorted as the overstimulation made my head swim. 

“Fuck, there you go,” He spoke against my skin. “Such a pretty cunt.”

His words pushed me over the edge. I gushed around his fingers. My thighs quivered and clamped down around his hand. I took in heaving breaths as he worked me through my orgasm. I stared down at the man with half-lidded eyes. He smirked, watching my expression as I slowly came down from my high. 

The bed shifted as he moved. His grey hair vanished from my peripherals. The drawer to his nightstand slid open with a low rumble. I didn’t bother to turn my head. 

When he settled back onto the bed, his jeans were gone. My eyes skimmed down his nude body, settling on his cock, which was now resting on my stomach.

He was right. It was big. The heat that radiated off of his skin drew my thoughts into more perverted places. The head of his cock was flushed and leaking. A single silver barbell protruded from the head of his cock. He lifted my hips and slid a pillow underneath me. 

“You on the pill?” He asked, popping open the cap to a bottle of lube. 

“Yes.” I watched him slide the lube over his cock. 

“Good, cause I don’t have any condoms.”

He pushed one of my knees to my chest. His hand guided his cock to my entrance. With his eyes locked onto me, he slowly pushed inside of me. It burned, almost felt stabbing. I clenched my jaw and gripped his wrist. His hips halted. 

“You okay?” His thumb gently stroked my knee with a tenderness that drew my attention away from the pain. 

“It hurts,” I said through my teeth. 

“We can stop-”

“Please keep going,” I interrupted. He stared at me with wide eyes. With a nod, he pushed forward. 

The stabbing pain faded into a more manageable cramping pain. I felt undeniably full. He let go of my leg, instead moving to my stomach to gently stroke my skin. He whispered praises as he sunk deeper inside me. My brows knit as he bottomed out. His hips stilled, eyes fixated on my cunt. 

“That’s it, bein’ so good for me.” He groaned. I clenched around his cock, earning a grunt from his heaving chest. 

“Simon, please move,” I crossed my ankles behind his back. 

He shifted his weight onto his hands, placing them on either side of my head. 

“Since you asked so nicely…”

He began thrusting his hips into me at a steady pace. Every jolt of his hips made the mattress squeal beneath us. The sound of our skin slapping echoed throughout the room. He was rough and forceful, bullying his cock deeper into me. 

His moans were deep and gravely. Every little noise that came out of him sounded like music. I hooked my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him down to my level. His lips clashed against mine, tongue licking against my bottom lip. I parted my lips for him. A moan slipped from me as he slid his tongue into my mouth. 

Tears welled in my eyes as the stimulation grew. I wanted more, needed more of him. I bit down on his lip and pulled back, tugging his skin. Something changed in him then. He pulled away and gripped onto the headboard, using the leverage to thrust harder into me. His eyes screwed shut. I could feel him twitch from inside me. 

I Clenched around his cock, stomach tensing as my third orgasm rapidly approached. He gripped my chin between his fingers.

“Fuck, you gonna cum?” He asked with his plush lips parted. 

My response was an incoherent mess of words and a frantic nod. His thumb went to my clit. He rubbed tight circles into my skin, encouraging me to cum, begging even. I knew he wouldn’t last long with the way his thrusts grew erratic. 

With a snap of his hips, I came on his cock, squeezing around him. He grunted, stilling inside me as he came. A stream of moans rose from my throat.

My body felt tingly like tv static as every nerve in my body fired. I felt overstimulated, hot, and sore. I whined as he pulled out. The bed shook as he collapsed onto his side. 

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and held the screen out to me. It was a “new contact” page. I smirked as I put my number in under the contact labeled “Derek”

“Derek…who are you gonna tell them I am when that name pops up on your screen?” I asked, swinging my leg over his hips.

“Old coworker.” He said with a laugh. 

“Old coworker with bomb pussy?” I raised my eyebrows and pouted, scanning his face for a reaction. He smiled and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. 

“Audrey’s going on vacation with her mom in a couple weeks. Why don’t you come over then?” He ran his hand along my back. 

“I’d love to, but speaking of which, I need to get back.” I sat up, grabbing my shorts from the foot of the bed. 

I threw my clothes on and hastily tossed my sweat soaked hair into an updo. My fingers grasped the doorknob, gently pulling it open. I waved at Simon before slipping into the hall. As the door closed behind me I sighed.

My brain replayed every minute of our interaction over and over again. The way he touched me with care, got off on eating me out, and checked in on me. What seemed to be basic decency was something I’d been lacking. My stomach fluttered as I thought of seeing him in a couple of weeks. I didn’t regret this, in fact I wanted more of this. 

What did I get myself into.

[oneatlatime]

The Library

Ground hog pipe organ. That's really quite twee.

Since when is Sokka concerned about the time crunch? Although he's right about the whole 'no plan' thing.

Katara is such a little sister sometimes.

Is an ice spring a thing? I feel like we wouldn't have invented refrigeration if ice springs were possible. What a cool idea though.

Dentists aren't a thing in the avatar universe.

Does sword guy sterilise those swords between drinks? How clean are the insides of the sheaths? Why is someone so overqualified working as a blender? How boring is this town that master swordsmen resort to being Magic Bullets to pass the time?

Has it ever occurred to Aang to try to maintain a little mystery around his identity? At the start of the first season, people's first thoughts when seeing an airbender were probably "wow! the fire nation missed one!" but by now it has to be well known that the airbender ping ponging around the earth kingdom is THE avatar. It's not like he didn't have other options. He could have waterbended the smoothie away. He could have asked Katara to waterbend the smoothie away. If I were feeling angsty, I'd say that a child of peacetime just doesn't have it in him to be sufficiently suspicious/cynical to feel the need to disguise himself. But I'm not feeling angsty, so I'm gonna say that Aang had a moment of dumb. Understandable, given he's twelve.

Nevermind! Aang accurately assessed how little he needed to hide himself because this professor is a dumb too!

Cool it with the phrenology.

Finding lost civilisations all over the earth kingdom is apparently a worthless accomplishment. You know, I don't like this guy.

Clam lamp. Coconut lamp?

That fox joke did not land.

This is the Taj Mahal.

Toph's still on probation. Gotta work six months* before you get the benefits package! * or until the world ends with the comet, whichever comes first.

Sokka wants to vacation in a library. I love how unrepentantly nerdy he can be.

Hey. Professor idiot. Wanna find your unfindable library? Go recruit Zuko. That kid finds so well it gives me flashbacks to Hufflepuff jokes.

Not sure what this implies re: the sapience of sandbenders.

The sandbenders have to have learned that move from airbenders. Also isn't that really inefficient? Rotational force goes 360 degrees but they only want force in a single direction. They should have modeled their sandbending on waterbending instead and created a giant wave behind their sleds for them to surf along.

That chin needs scritches.

I hope they're bringing lots of water rations with them. How much water do you thing Appa needs in a day?

Would Sokka, who lives at the South Pole, know what a fox is?

Everyone keeps forgetting stuff this episode. Library is buried? You have two earthbenders and two airbenders.

Love the attitude.

This has been bugging me for a few episodes now so I might as well mention it. I know it's an artistic choice, but: having fingernails the same colour as fingers squicks me out.

Sokka's turn with the dumb. Why would you climb up to the library when three of you can fly? Appa can hover. Just walk down his tail to the window.

That's twice now they've forgetten Toph's blindness. I love her attitude towards them forgetting.

Sokka's boomerang is one hell of a multitool. Whatever it's made of, it's indestructible.

"Don't worry buddy. I'm not making you go underground ever again." I hope that's not ironic foreshadowing.

Stuffed head of anthropology might be an improvement.

The vocal effect on this owl is neat.

Dammit. Now stealing from the pirates is justified.

Why do you even have that? Why did you stuff it down your shirt? Just why?

*Heroically refrains from going on a rant about the value of non-written sources, oral tradition, and pejoratively labelled 'folk' knowledge.*

The Ears!!! Those cute little ears. They have no business being so floppy. Appa & Toph, the duo I never knew I needed.

Appa is a very good listener.

LEFTY SHOUTOUT!!!

Sokka has not only forgotten that he's after a map of the fire nation; he's also stolen the declaration of independence.

Two things: First, this is the best boy. Second, Sokka seems to be a cat person.

You think the Fire Nation, a Nation that knew enough astronomy to correctly predict, plan for, and harness the power of a comet to complete a very successful genocide, doesn't know there's an eclipse coming up and has planned accordingly? Like come on. They named the comet after their Firelord. They obviously know how astronomy works. It would take literally one eclipse, depriving them of their bending once, for the whole nation to become suddenly very invested in predicting the movements of celestial bodies. They know this. I promise you they have safeguards in place. Pick a less obvious time to attack.

So is the owl gullible as all hell or did he let them in to give them enough rope to hang themselves?

Badass line about justifying war. Although equating protecting the people you love with hoarding library books does not hold water.

This owl has far too much neck.

HOW strong is Toph?

This owl sure is destroying a lot of his books.

Sokka doesn't know that Toph is holding up the library right? And there's no way for him to know how quickly/slowly the library is sinking. So this date checking montage makes no sense. Maybe he will find out the date, but if he's sealed underground then it doesn't matter that he learned it.

Do not like.

Very much DO NOT LIKE.

Did they just kidnap Appa?

Should have told him to yip yip. Does Toph know Yip yip?

I am a big fan of Sokka style. Although I'm glad this show aired a decade before Gangnam Style came out, otherwise the memes would have been insufferable.

The owl is going to eat you as soon as it wakes up. Did you see a cafeteria? A water source? Even if you hide from the owl you'll be dead in a week.

Massive points to Toph for holding that up as everyone inside was delaying for stupid reasons.

No.

No you have to give me back Appa before the episode ends. That's the rules.

Final Thoughts

Unacceptable.

This episode felt contrived, everyone involved except maybe Toph had some epic moments of dumb, and to top it all off they stole Appa. I am not amused.

There was lots of setup and little story here. At least that's what it felt like. There were some fairly lame lines that came off as ham-fisted exposition. The ground hog choir was about the only funny bit. Maybe it's the utterly unacceptable ending bleeding backwards and staining the rest of the episode, but I did not like this one. It honestly would have benefited from a Zuko b-plot, and I do not say that lightly.

[phantomspren]

Okay so now the question is how long can I hold out before starting to listen to TMA for the third time.

I just finished relistening and I. I love it so much.

And I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I think I'm going to switch my major from anthropology to media production. Because of this podcast.

My end goal has always been to write. Since I was like eight. That's what I've wanted to do. But you gotta have a day job! And unfortunately I am not interested in anything that would make any money so I decided to major in anthropology.

And I genuinely love it so much.

I've also been working as a stage tech for the last year, and love that as well, I love the technical aspect of performances and things like that. I genuinely would not mind doing that for a living. (I mean it's a lot of moving furniture around but it's also super cool beyond that.)

But. I was listening to the Q&A episodes this summer at work. And they were talking about sound design and the production of the show. And I thought that sounded. Really fucking fun.

And I've. Done sound stuff for live shows. I know the basics of that. I can set up mics and know the basics of how to make them work good! I love it.

I think I'd love audio editing.

And if I went into audio stuff. I could work on all sorts of things. There's audio in everything.

It would also be a much better way to get into a writing gig of some sort. My backup would be directly related to what I want to devote myself to. And if it didn't work I'd still probably love it and get to work on cool things.

(I mean most people who see this have probably seen me talk about it on Discord but I just want to talk about it cause I'm thinking about it and have started classes and stuff.)

So not only is this a top tier piece of media for me, but also it may have just totally changed my career path. By pointing out something I already enjoy and saying "you can do this with stories, not just concerts and lectures."

I'm taking some intro journalism courses this semester (the journalism program at my school has a film and media production emphasis), and at the moment it's really rough. I love social sciences and am quite frankly really good at them, so it's a total shift from taking a 400 level anth class last semester as a freshman to intro writing classes as a sophomore with a bunch of freshmen. I'm really going to miss anthropology. (I also switched schools so that's impacting things.)

But I'm looking at the media production classes and the script writing class and podcasting class that I can take in the future and I'm getting so excited. I'm also considering taking an acting class next semester, which I never would have done before I considered the fact that I could make my own projects. I am not limited just to writing.

It's been wild.

I'm hoping I get through this semester alright. My creative writing class will keep me sane, hopefully. :p

But yeah.

Yeah.

I'm excited. :)

Also ERKJHSEKLRJHSELRGHSLEKRJGESRHKLJSGH MAGNUS

Protocol finale on Thursday too, it'll be fucking wild.

Also I'm cosplaying season two Jon at FanX on Friday and season three on Saturday so I may post pictures of that if it turns out alright.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[is-your-name-anronpa-cause-dang]

thoughts on kork (korekiyo)

he is one Complicated man.

I think, for starters, his design looks pretty cool. A little creepy but (mostly) something I’d want in my closet.

Secondly. His ultimate was something you’ve gotta be pretty smart to have (seeing it’s something that encompasses an entire open category), so props to him for the dedication. If I’m understanding correctly, he’s the best at understanding everything anthropology in general (?) so that’s gotta be a lot to keep track of at the same time. however I know fuck all about anthropology so I’m not at all qualified to talk about it.

Also I feel like he would really enjoy having a cup of tea with Celeste while infodumping about the structure and history of European castles but that one is just a gut feeling ;-;

Kiyo’s reason to murder felt very out of left field because up until that point it was his own character with the spontaneous murder of Angie and the far less spontaneous murder of tenko all being his doing and his planning, and never up until the end did we see the fact that the motive was his ghost sister? It felt a tad rushed to me. Or more like they actually had plans and the sister thing was planned out for him from the start but they had trouble adding it so they mostly decided to hide it till the end, aside from a reference or two that only makes sense after. Unless I missed something in his free time events that implies more lore about the sister?

First impression, he was creepy, and the game kind of writes him like that initially tbf, but I was originally watching on a play through, so it’s pretty easy to make my thoughts on him jaded both over someone else’s aloud thoughts and how the game first introduced him, but also when i played through it alone, i never really clicked with him which then never really made me want to do his Free Time Events either? So I may have missed out on a really well thought out character. Which, once again, means I do not know what his sister is like or if he hints at her past that one line in a past trial saying “wouldn’t you do anything for the one you love? I know I would”. (Im pretty sure that’s what it says anyway, I’m paraphrasing)

I think if I went into a new game specifically to try and see if I could make myself like kiyo I could probably become fond of him. but I don’t really want to, I’m pretty ok not loving the character or fully understanding him. He’s probably cool, kiyo just isn’t for me.

[depravedangelbaby]

Hello bestie!! For the ask game:

Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you? Venus- What’s your favorite tv show? Constellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not) Aquarius- What’s a topic you enjoy learning about? Cygnus- If you could go back to any time period for a couple days, when/where would you want to go? Supergiant- What’s something you like about yourself? Red Dwarf- What’s your favorite smell? What smell makes you feel most comfortable?

omg so many! thank uuuu bestieeee!! gonna add a read more bc this will probably be a long answer :)

star: amber by 311 is tethered to my soul in ways y'all will never know!!

venus: ooo this one's hard bc i go through obsessive phases with shows then kinda forget about them. itysl is always a classic with my girlfriend (we quote it on the daily), but i'm currently making my way through RuPaul's Drag Race (2/3 through season 14 rn) & All Stars. idk i've had many many favorite shows throughout my life but they never stay my favorite

constellations: this feels like a humble brag but i feel like i have a decent amount of talents (mostly art related) already! I'd love to learn an instrument sometime though.. maybe that'll happen one day. who knows lol

aquarius: oooo i really enjoy learning about "forgotten" historical events if that makes sense? (though my sense of time/ability to remember dates/periods is total shit). i took a class in college called "practices of memory" that delved into how history is typically presented to us (via the "victors" of war) vs how events actually occurred (from found documents/first hand accounts etc), how the past can be manipulated, how to challenge what you think you know etc. anthropology is v v cool. (now i gotta go find my old books for that class n reread them sometime)

cygnus: oh god this answer is gonna be depressing.. but I'd go back to a time where my dad was alive & healthy so we can have a few more good days together. i'd ask him all the things i wish i knew about him n my mom, i'd watch wrestling and his favorite horror movies with him one last time, we'd make strawberry shortcake together (his favorite from what i've been told)

supergiant: i really like my capacity to love- i have so much love to give from this lil' heart of mine!!

red dwarf: nag champa nag champa nag champa!!! my comfort smell fr. i love a vanilla x musky smell too

[uh-velkommen]

The Cycle of Poverty. Life in Sweden:

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the kind of person I am and why I make the decisions that I do. I've just been frustrated with where I am in life and it seems that my algorithm has picked up on that too because it keeps recommending me videos about burn out in graduate school. I've also found myself reading a lot more about "different" personalities in this field of study (Anthropology and Linguistics) as a way to find space for me in this line of work. It's not that I feel like I've made the wrong decision, it's that I feel like success in Anthropology seems to look one way and it's not a very stable and feasible career for someone with my background. And that's where the problem lies: My background.

Education History

Growing up I've faced both ends of the sword when it comes to my intelligence. I'd get shamed by my mother for "acting like I'm smarter than her." I'd get praised by my teachers for being a good noodle. I'd desperately fight to avoid being labeled a nerd. I wanted to be a cool kid but refused to sacrifice my passion for fun facts and a diversified vocabulary. My entire identity revolved around my brain because outside of that I was just another fat, annoying, little girl with no friends. The only time people said good things about me was when it had to do with my knowledge. Of course that caused a lot of confusion because I'd hear that nobody likes a smart aleck but then get special treatment at school because I got A pluses. The world was telling me it's good to be smart but you can't let people know that you are. You can't remind people of their circumstances (foreshadowing). During this "Am I autistic" journey I've been on, I learned that often times autistic kids will try to bond and connect by info-dumping. Sharing interesting information that's applicable to the topic at hand in hopes of sparking a conversation in the only way you know how to communicate. And if that doesn't summarize my entire adolescence... But the problem with this is that I grew up in a neighborhood where people were not educated and it wasn't something worth talking about. Parents and Grandparents immigrated at a young age, their children raised in low income areas, eventually finding that being a stay at home mother or drug dealer was more lucrative that sitting in classrooms for 8 hours. Sometimes girls got pregnant at 15 and dropped out, sometimes guys got mixed in with the wrong crowd and were killed by 17. These are the circumstances that we all grew up in and the trauma bond made it so that people were okay living like that. It was expected. But I felt like I was stuck growing in a cocoon that could not provide the nutrients I needed. I had this immense interest in the world outside of my tax bracket and fear of being left behind by it. I always felt like the outsider in my community and what frustrated me was that for the first 19ish years of my life I felt like I had this secret gift. One that I needed to continue expanding on it because when I compared my way of thinking to my surroundings, I existed on a pedestal. But soon after I started learning that I was just average. I was the tallest blade of grass in the field, unaware of the trees that stood for longer. I decided then, that I needed to do everything I could to become a tree. There was a new crowd of people that I needed to fit in with but no matter how far I got in my college career, I couldn't shake the fact that I was just grass. Grass that got too much sunlight, grass that didn't realize these trees were only that big because they came from more.

Gotta Get Out Of This Town

My desire for the world stems from my lack of community. I think because I grew up in such a one track minded neighborhood, I have to make up for it in worldly experiences. Again, these people are born in my neighborhood, they grow up there, they fight to survive, and they die there. They never leave. And I get a tightness in my chest whenever I think about the life that God meant for me to have there... I was thinking recently about how good it would look to have "Sweden" and "Norway" on my resume. "People will see this and think, wow she's a worldly person! Diverse and understanding of cultural variance!" I thought. But then I thought about the hundreds of (white) women my age who spend vacations in Paris and travel on the weekends. Women who could afford to find internships with top companies at 18 and who's resumes are way more beefed up in less amount of time than mine. I realize then that I have no chance. What makes me stand out on a resume with two countries versus a resume with 12? "You could always tell them where you come from and they'll realize that those two countries were an amazing feat for someone like you..." Someone of your shortcomings. My life, my family's history will always be a part of me but I want it to be a part that I use when I see fit. Need to jimmy-rig something? Looking for cheap meals to save money? How do you get rid of roaches? That I can help you with. "Wow you came from such hardships, how did you manage to get yourself here? See, this is the prime example of the American Dream." That makes me wanna shoot myself. I don't want to struggle to accomplish things. I hate that when I do things, I have to be 100% certain that they'll work out the way I envisioned or else I am one failed plan from living right back in that neighborhood. I don't have a support system to fall back on, I don't have money to find some place to stay until I find a good apartment. I have nothing. Nothing but brains that don't buy you jack-shit in the hood.

Compensating

I worry that coming here was a big act of compensation. If I move across country, that'll prove to my "friends" back home that I am better than them. I'm smart, I can get somewhere. I'm aware that I'm not actually competing with anyone. It's not like I open my friends Insta-stories to laugh at their misery. They aren't all living in cardboard boxes thinking, "if only I was as smart as Alisha, if only I had valued our friendship more." The reality is, all those people I grew up with are happy. Their stories consist of them kissing their partners and feeding their kids and they love it. They are contempt with where they're at and I don't compare my current circumstances to their because I recognize that having a family is what makes them happy but having kids is absolutely NOT what will make me happy. But then, why do I still feel bitter? If I'm so much better than them, why am I still struggling so much?

I keep reminding myself that I'm playing the long game here. I have to network, I have to put myself out there, I have to struggle to get where I'm trying to go. This isn't a me versus them thing, this isn't something I can blame on poverty, this is just life. But where those white girls are getting through this with friends in the same boat, I'm living this life alone. I can't turn to my married friend and complain about my midterm topic, she's not gonna know what I'm talking about. In the end, it seems that intelligence has yet again made me the outsider. I'm trying to prove something to no one. I don't even think I'm trying to prove something to myself. I'm just fighting for a happy end. I only wish it didn't come with so many risks. I run out of money, I'm back in the hood. I fail at grad school, back in the hood. I can't find a job, back in the hood. Except all the years spent distancing myself from friends and family will have me back in the hood, with less than what I started with and even less that what my old friends now have. (This is starting to veer into my struggles when I first started college. When I watched all my friends build their own lives and felt stuck in the system... but that's a different blog post and I've nearly moved past that).

Can someone tell me why all my decisions feel like a desperate attempt to compensate for something? What's the missing piece here? What am I still fighting against?

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.

Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.

Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.

Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.

Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.

Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.

Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.

This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.

Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.

Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!

Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.

[m88n]

[2.12 am]

You’re held close by Jaehyun on his king-sized bed, a scene often taking place during one of your meets. At first, his tendency to be a little touchier than you’d prefer in a friends with benefits setting put you off, but you’ve grown quite used to it. He was the one initiating this relationship, as you both knew each other through a university club, and he hit you up through a mutual friend after seeing how you’ve physically changed in the past few years. Although he keeps his interactions with you pretty shallow, his lingering touches and gazes sometimes would say otherwise. During your first nightly meet with each other, despite him only mostly saying raunchy things to you, as you part, he held an indecipherable gaze towards your eyes, before stealing a kiss from you. That took you off guard, as you would not expect to kiss a friends with benefits outside of the vicinity of the bedroom.

During the next several times you’ve met each other, he made it a point to hold conversations with you before actually getting down to business. You asked him the first time—what was the point of making conversation? He just lightly dismissed it, saying that he’d at least want to get to know you before doing it with you. Again, you thought that was strange, but you went along with it. During one of your pillow talks, you wanted to know if he was clean (perhaps you both could do it raw), so you asked him how many sexual partners he has at that moment. He just smiled, shooting his all-too familiar dimples at you, saying that he’s not sleeping with anyone right now other than you. You decided that he was lying, because you’ve heard from several mutual friends that Jaehyun’s known as a player among other girls, breaking hearts left and right, always trying to find the next one to sleep with. Your friends warned you not to get too caught up with him, but you dismissed their worries easily, knowing that you don’t easily get attached.

At the present moment, both of you find yourselves watching Youtube videos on your phone, Jaehyun holding it above your still unclothed bodies sprawled on top of his bed. You still feel like there are parts of Jaehyun that you can’t seem to make out, but you decide that he is definitely one fun guy to just hang out with.

“I find it cool that we have the same favorite classical piece. Clair de lune. It’s obvious though,” He says nonchalantly, before turning his head to you. “Always on the lookout for Debussy, am I right?”

You chortle at his horrible joke, laughing heartily until you’re gasping for breath. It might be bad, but it really is funny to you. You’re probably just easily amused. Either way Jaehyun’s got you in stitches. He always does. Jaehyun looks at you for a second, before he laughs with you, eyes turning into beautiful crescents as his dimples accentuate his features in the most charming way. God, you get why all these girls would go so far for this guy. He’s literally a vision.

Suddenly your phone lets out a small ping! and both your attentions are redirected to your phone, a row of notifications popping up on the top of the screen.

Jaemin (2.20 am): wyd? ;) Jaemin (2.20 am): thinking abt u. miss u on my bed Jaemin (2.21 am): still coming over tmr night?

“Oop, sorry bout that, hand me my—”

“What--What was that?” Jaehyun asks, gaze slowly shifting towards you.

“Na Jaemin asking me for a bootycall—”

“Yeah, I could see that,” He responds, jaw tensing up. “You’re seeing him?”

You feel alarmed by the sudden change in Jaehyun’s attitude, confusion filling you up yet again.

“Yeah, why?” You ask simply, trying to snatch your phone from Jaehyun’s hand, him pulling away quicker.

Jaehyun holds his gaze upon you, eyebrows knitted together, knuckles turning white.

No.... it couldn’t be. Could it..?

“Jae…. Do you not like me… Seeing Jaemin..?” You ask gently.

You swear you could see him flinch ever so slightly at the sound of Jaemin’s name. He keeps quiet, yet you could feel his breath start to quicken, eyes narrowing at you.

“Jaehyun,” You say.

He looks away, gnawing on his lip.

“Jaehyun.” You say, firmly this time, earning his attention. “What are you thinking? You gotta tell me. Otherwise I won’t get it,”

“...You can do whatever you want.” He answers, looking away.

“What do you want?” You ask him.

“…”

“Okay, I’ll try to make this simpler. What do you feel?” You ask him slowly, as if speaking to a 5-year-old child.

“…Not the best,” He finally responds frankly, “I don’t think I like it.”

“There we go, wasn’t that hard, was it?” You say sarcastically, starting to feel annoyed with the unwelcome situation you’ve been handed. “You gotta be honest with me, Jae, that was the deal, we gotta be super clear about the conditions and boundaries—”

“Do you like him?” He asks suddenly.

You sit there, eyes wide, not expecting at all that he was going to ask such a question. You try to make sense of the situation, blinking your eyes rapidly while your mouth hangs ajar as you try to concoct an answer—any answer—but nothing comes out.

You shake your head to snap yourself out of it, because it really doesn’t even matter if you do, or do not. This shouldn’t be about Jaemin.

“Jae—I don’t—I don’t know, why are you asking me that? It’s not even relevant to whatever’s going on with this right now,” You say, gesturing between you both.

“But it is,” He says, raising his voice, as he looks at you straight in the eyes.

You pause to gather yourself at this turn of events.

“What, do you like me or something?” You finally ask bluntly out of utter exasperation.

With that question, his gaze softens and he lets out an exhale, before trying to calm himself down.

“…Jaehyun, what do you want with me?” You ask as you lean closer to him.

He looks down at his hands blanketed by the white duvet, as he seemingly tries to gather his thoughts before he answers.

“..I—” He starts. “…What do you want with… Jaemin? What… What does he want with you?”

You frown almost instantly, noticing him deflect the question. But you decide to just go with his flow, trying to answer his questions as best as you could.

“I don’t know, Jae, I think he’s cute, and I quite like being around him,” You answer, “He did tell me he’s liked me ever since he saw me in our shared anthropology class during the last year of our bachelors, I mean, that really was ages ago…. I don’t know, man, I’m just hanging with him, see where that goes,”

“… So… You’re going to keep hanging with him while you… Hang with me?”

You look at him disappointedly.

“Jae. It’s your turn to answer. What do you want from me?” You ask firmly. “…Do you like me?”

He keeps quiet.

“Do you want to be with me?”

He looks at you with a gaze too vague to figure.

“..Is it bad that I want you to stop hanging out with Jaemin?” He finally asks.

“What, do you want to be exclusive with me? ..Make it official or something like that?” You ask bluntly out of frustration, your question starting to scare even yourself.

He grimaces at your question, before looking away from you.

“I… I don’t—”

“Then it wouldn’t be fair for me, wouldn’t it?” You ask him with a deadpanned face.

With that, you feel like you’ve had enough. You let out a last sigh, before grabbing your phone and quickly making your way towards your clothes on the hardwood floor, quickly wearing them as you usually would after your hookups with him. Jaehyun follows your movements with widened eyes, frozen in place, mouth hanging ajar.

You move to take your handbag sitting on the bedside table, before Jaehyun grabs your arm, stopping you mid-movement.

“y/n. Do you really feel nothing with me?” He asks you, face desperate.

“Do you?” You ask, furiously eyeing him down due to his entire ambiguity.

“I feel like—I feel like you just get me,” He sputters, “I’ve never had anyone understand me that much, y/n, you don’t need to leave—”

“So you want me here just because I get you? And I’m not even allowed to do whatever I want because of… Whatever this is?” You ask.

“I—I don’t know y/n, just give me time,” He says hastily, still gripping your arm despite your attempts to shake him off, “Just—just stop hanging out with Jaemin for a little, let me figure this out—”

You scoff at his remark. “For what?” You ask, “What’s in it for me?”

He gulps, eyes quivering wildly as he tries to search for an answer.

“For--For me.” He finally says.

You shake your arm off of his grip, before grabbing your purse.

“Jaehyun baby,” You say, “I really don’t have the time to teach a man to be mine.”

[whumpy-writings]

Hey dude, so you said you're in the mood to talk about your ocs and stories and I'm like so here for it, I haven't read all of your stuff but I have read some (I haven't been around too long haha), and so far, I rly like your writing! My evil little heart went :) reading it! Gotta ask, where did you draw your inspiration from?

Thank you for reading! My evil little heart goes :) writing it!

Oh boy, I don't even know where to start! OVAM began because of my frustration with typical vampire stories. You know the ones, where vampires are blood-thirsty monsters secretly living among humans. That has been done so many times that I find it, well, boring. So I created my own vampires, who aren't supernatural or undead. Like vampire bats, they are hematophages who have naturally evolved to feed on blood. I've always been fascinated by how Neanderthals and Homo sapiens coexisted and interbred, which led me to creating a world inhabited by two humanoid species, humans and vampires.

In terms of inspiration, Planet of the Apes and The Time Machine were both hugely influential. Both of these stories describe worlds where humans are at the bottom of the food chain. I thought it would be really interesting to try to create a world where vampires were the dominant species and humans were the prey. What would that world look like? What would the cultures be like? And how would vampires and humans alike challenge or uphold the narrative that keeps humans enslaved?

I'm an archaeologist so I also drew inspiration from a lot of historical events and structures such as late eighteenth century European militaries, the Roman Republic, European monasticism, chattel slavery in the Americas, Ancient Egyptian religious practices, and historical piracy, just to name a few. I've done a crazy amount of worldbuilding for this world (the planet is called Pyrne), and I've only shared a fraction in the story thus far.

BOM came about because of my obsession with epic fantasy. I remember hearing from somewhere that in fantasy, magic users are either the oppressors or the oppressed. In a lot of the books I've read, magic users are oppressed by being forced to use their powers in secret. I wanted to explore another form of oppression, where magic users are forced to use their powers for the government.

I always find it interesting to look at how oppression effects people differently, which led to the creation of the three types of magic users- Vessels, whose bodies store magic and are treated as nothing more than objects, Mages who are the ones who can access magic and are kept in line through drugs, and Reapers who can sense people who have magic and are tasked with finding and controlling Vessels and Mages. All of them are forced to serve the government, but how they are controlled varies.

For all of my work, I've been heavily influenced by Foucault's theory of biopower, biopolitics, and disciplinary power, which examine how people are controlled. (Anthropological theory turns out to be super helpful for worldbuilding)

In summary, I am a nerd and just throw together all sorts of historical and anthropological ideas, sprinkle in some speculative elements, and add a dash of angst. And while I start with these big ideas, I then work down to the individual level to explore what their life is like. How do they respond to the challenges of their world and culture? And how can I explore these cool ideas through whump?

I am always happy to gush about worldbuilding, it's literally my favorite thing!

[zurxmxru]

You’s Second Cousin

A little something for @anthropologizing w/ rei’s oc Kiyo!! [ featuring Aqours ]

This was based off a idea of some sort of LL AU where Kiyo is You’s cousin and is obsessed with Muse and Maki Nishikino after years after Muse disbanded I think,, I took that idea plus a fun idea Twi mentioned that involved most of Aqours and made this!! It’s in a different writing style cause I’m lazy but I hope u enjoy this silly fic!!

Here’s a key btw to know who’s who:

🍊 -Chika

🌸 -Riko

⚓️-You 

Summary: The Aqours second years are early and already inside the school idol club. However, You is outside on the phone with.. Another one of her cousins!?

[ Inside Uranohoshi’s high school idol club. ]

🌸: “Hey, where’s You-chan?”

🍊: “Oh! She’s on the phone with someone, so I she’ll come inside later!”

🌸: “Ah.. Alright then.”

 [ *cut to a few minutes later in the clubroom. You comes inside after being on the phone for awhile.* ]

⚓️: “Sorry for the wait! That call was longer than expected..”

🌸: “Don’t apologize. It was probably something urgent.”

🍊: “Who was on the phone, You-chan?”

⚓️: “Oh, it was my cousin! They were just calling to tell me something, ehehe..”

🍊: “Could it be—!”

🌸: “Was it Tsuki-san that was checking up on you?”

🍊: “Heey! You took the words outta my mouth, Riko-chan!”

🌸: “S-Sorry..?”

⚓️: “Ahaha! No it wasn’t actually. It was another cousin of mine!”

🌸: “Another cousin?”

🍊: “Eh!? Just how many cousins do you have, You-chan!?”

⚓️: “Only a few! Anyway, it was another cousin of mine! Their name is Kiyo. They live in Tokyo! They were telling me a lot of stuff about Muse hehe..”

[ You says as she scratches the back of her head awkwardly. ]

🍊: “They know about Muse too!? And live in Tokyo!? So cool!!”

🌸: “Chika-chan.. We went to Tokyo several times before..”

🍊: “Oh yeah.. I kinda forgot hehe..”

🌸: “How could you forget such a thing!?”

⚓️: “C-Calm down, Riko-chan..”

🍊: “Anyway! You-chan, what were they saying to you? Ah! And do they know about Aqours too!?”

⚓️: “Well.. I didn’t really ask if they knew about Aqours since, well, they were busy telling me everything about they found about Muse. Especially about Maki-chan..”

🍊: “Woah~! they must be just as smart as Dia-chan to know all about Muse! Especially one of it’s members.”

⚓️: “Honestly, Kiyo does sound a lot like Dia-chan when she starts ranting about Muse in a frenzy! They’re just as passionate about the subject as she is!”

🌸: “I wouldn’t be surprised if Dia-san decided to quiz them about Muse though..”

🍊: “That reminds me! You gotta tell them to come visit you sometime! I really want to meet them!”

⚓️: “Yeah.. Uh, about that.. If they were to come to Uchiura, I think it’s best to keep them away from Dia-chan. They are both insanely passionate about Muse. Plus since the two of them passionately love Muse, they’d be an unstoppable force together..”

🌸: “Gulp.. I think I can see that happening already from all the stuff you’ve mentioned about them.. They might even do extremely well on Dia’s quiz..”

🍊: “T-Then why don’t we keep it between us three!”

⚓️ & 🌸: “Eh? Between us three?”

🍊: “Yeah! The next time you call them, you can ask if they know about us and if they are able to visit you! Then, we can introduce them to everyone but Dia-chan somehow, and everything will work smoothly, right?”

⚓️: “Actually, that’s not a bad idea.. I like your thinking, Chika-chan!”

🍊: “Right!?”

🌸: “..Um, guys?”

⚓️: “Alright! Let’s keep this a secret between us!”

[ Chika and Riko put their fist up in the air. Riko does it slightly. ]

🍊: “Ohh~!”

🌸: “O-Oh..” (I still don’t know how long this secret will last before everyone else finds out..)

[ END ? ]

[elvis-facts-daily]

Elvis helps you with your Windows 7 Error message:

ELVIS: Hello? Is this thing on? Can you hear me? Can you see me?

YOU: Yes, Elvis. I can hear you.

ELVIS: Good, good. How are you doing tonight, kid?

YOU: I'm doing alright.

ELVIS: Great! That's great to hear! So, what seems to be going on with you tonight? Anything wrong or anything bothering you?

YOU: Well, lately I've been getting a lot of Error messages whenever I try to access the internet. No big deal, really, but I need to get my Anthropology homework done.

ELVIS: That's some pretty heavy stuff there, kid. Sounds to me like you need a reboot.

YOU: A what?

ELVIS: Reboot. You know, restart your system. Turn your computer off then back on again. Sometimes that fixes all kinds of problems you would never imagine. Don't believe me? Just watch. Fuck, I just spilled my drink...hold on...fuck...there we go. Okay, so just turn your computer off, and then back on again, and I guarantee your problems will be fixed. Like magic!

YOU: I don't think it's that simple, Elvis.

ELVIS: Hey, things aren't always so complicated, kid. Sometimes you have to get back to the basics. You always try too hard and complicate things. If something isn't working or if something's broken, then all you gotta do is start over fresh, just like me and your mother. It works for me every time! Every single time! Turn that computer off, and then back on again. Then come back and tell me how lucky you are that Elvis Presley was able to give you some of his wisdom. Go ahead, kid. Turn it off and back on...

YOU: Alright, alright...there, it's off.

ELVIS: And...now turn it back on...

YOU: It's back on.

ELVIS: There we go. Now how does it feel?

YOU: I don't really notice a change...wait a minute, now I got an error message saying that my desktop's background has been changed... it's a picture of Johnny Cash and he's giving me the middle finger...

ELVIS: Ha ha ha ha! Damn right, kid. Johnny Cash is one bad mother! The Man in Black ain't got nothing on the King, but he's still a cool guy. Now that you've gotten that out of the way, just boot up firefox and you'll be right as rain!

YOU: Well, now it says my Antivirus software has a virus.

ELVIS: Ha! Impossible! That Antivirus software was written by Dr. Tom Elvis Kessel. One of the foremost authorities in the country...if not the world...on computer medicine. He wouldn't allow a virus in his own software. Just ignore that message.

YOU: Well now it's telling me I can't download anything because I don't have adequate security.

ELVIS: Just ignore that one, too. You'd be amazed at how many people just give in when their computers tell them something...even if the message makes absolutely no damn sense. Companies try to trick you into buying their shit all the damn time. Why, just the other day I was...oh wait, damn, I just spilled my drink again. Hold on...

YOU: ...

ELVIS: ...okay, let's try that again. Now you were saying?

YOU: You were talking about tricking people into buying things.

ELVIS: Exactly. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do. Companies do some really unethical shit. They'll do things just to make a profit and don't fucking care who they hurt in the process.

YOU: Uh...yeah...well my computer still seems to be...

ELVIS: (interrupting you) Just another example of companies being evil, kid. What the fuck is this? Kid, I'm telling you everything that's wrong in the world. Why the hell are you looking so distracted?? Are you even listening to me?!!!

YOU: I'm sorry, I just...

ELVIS: (interrupting you) Now we're talking about the damn capitalist system, kid! Don't you dare fucking look away! We're talking about some serious shit here and you need to pay attention! If you don't start showing me some respect, our friendship is gonna come to an end right now! Our friendship isn't fucking real if all you're gonna do is half-ass it. Now sit the fuck up and pay attention!

(takes a deep breath then exhales, trying to calm himself)

ELVIS: Now, I need to ask you something. Are you absolutely sure you're a fan of mine? I mean are you serious or are you just saying that for the sake of your mothee? To tell you the truth, I'm having my doubts right now. It seems like you're just saying you're a fan to be saying it.

YOU: No! I mean...I really do like your work. I grew up listening to your songs my whole life!

ELVIS: (groans in frustration) That's not what I mean, kid. I'm talking about my REAL music. The stuff I made after I became a "has been" and then a "oldie groany". Do you even listen to that?

YOU: Well...I prefer your rock and roll stuff. The songs I know you play on the radio and stuff.

ELVIS: (disgusted) Oh for fuck's sake....well, that seals it then. I can tell you're just saying what you think I want to hear. We're done here kid. Go away.

(He turns away from you and picks up his guitar and lights a fat stoagie. Clearly, he wants nothing to do with you at this point.)

YOU: Elvis...

ELVIS: (furious) DON'T FUCKING CALL ME "ELVIS"! MY NAME IS DR. TOM ELVIS FUCKING KESSEL! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!

(Elvis slams his laptop shut and the screen goes to black. You look at your PC. Johnny Cash is still there, flipping the bird.)

[specterchasing-a]

Ghost of a Chance || Bex & Eddie

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: One of White Crest’s many abandoned buildings.

PARTIES: @inbextween​ & @specterchasing​ 

SUMMARY: Bex and Eddie accidentally bite off more than they can chew when filming. 

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia, head trauma mention.

Nervous wasn’t the exact right word for how Bex felt at the moment, but it was close enough while she thought of the right one. She’d never been ghost hunting before. She wished she could’ve gotten the special goggles from Nell that would let her see them, but she would settle for trusting Eddie instead. He could see them, and that was really enough. She could be the second hand witness that got to watch him in action in real time. She’d browsed through quite a few of his videos at this point, and he didn’t seem to do many other videos with other people. Actually, there had been none. That meant she was his first. So, maybe, the feeling was excited, or thrilled, or perhaps even exhilarated. This was what she wanted to do with her knowledge. Chase it, understand it, share it. And Eddie felt the same way and wasn’t that really just the best? He’d picked her up from Morgan’s and they’d drove down to the location, and Bex recalled the last time she’d been in his car, and how she hadn’t even been there enough to remember what kind of car it was or how it had that funny smell old cars did. She glanced back at all the equipment in the backseat, then over to Eddie. “How expensive was all of that?” she asked, curious, as she turned enough in her seat to begin prodding through his bags, examining his cameras. “Do we really need all of this?” she asked, pulling out what looked like a walkie talkie with no matching device.

Throughout the entirety of his YouTube career, Eddie worked alone. He had no other choice. Friends were few and far between, and most of them were incorporeal, which meant holding a camera was out of the question. But now, Bex was here; eager to help. He liked her—quite a bit, actually. And, by some miracle, she seemed to like him too. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he felt like he’d finally found the kind of friend he’d been missing. And, yeah, it helped that she had a pulse.

“Too expensive,” Eddie replied to her question with an exaggerated grimace. “And, I mean, ‘need’ is a strong word, but they’re fun to have around and the viewers appreciate the pageantry, so why not?” Eddie pointed at the gadget in her hand. “That is a tri-axis EMF meter, which is technically useless to me since I’m a living ghost magnet.” 

Eddie reached into the backseat and pulled the center most bag into his lap and removed two cameras. One of them, he promptly turned on and looked through the lens at Bexley. “Well, look at that, the camera already loves you,” he said before handing it over to her. “Do you have any experience with one of these? Not a huge deal if you don’t. It’s pretty easy to get the hang of.”

Bex set the meter down and looked at Eddie. “A tri-what?” she asked, raising a brow. She didn’t know what any of this stuff was aside from the camera, leaning back in her seat as he pulled the bag up onto his own lap to rifle around in it. She tilted her head as she watched, curious eyes glued to his every action. Finally, the camera popped open and he pointed it at her and she ducked her face to the side, unable to help the blush that came onto her face. “Oh, shut up,” she said, reaching out to cover the lens with her palm carefully-- she didn’t actually want to damage the thing, it was expensive and Eddie had spent all his own money on it. She wished she could help somehow. 

She took the camera when he handed it to her and peered down the lens. “I think the camera like you much more,” she teased back, smiling at him from behind it. “I know how to use a camcorder, yes.. I’m not that sheltered.” She felt the excitement buzzing in her stomach. “So, where do we start, mister ghost magnet? I’m here to support you.”

When Bex’s hand raised to cover the camera’s lens, Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “If you’re gonna be my co-host, you’ll have to do something about that camera shyness,” he said with playfully raised brows. The thought of her accompanying him on future filming adventures was tempting, to say the least. Sharing his passion projects with someone else who understood and appreciated them had always seemed like a pipe dream, but that was slowly beginning to change.

Eddie didn’t so much as flinch when Bex directed the camera at him. “I sure hope it likes me after all these years,” he said, mirroring her smile. “So, for starters, we gotta introduce you, obviously—let the viewers know who they’re dealing with. I figure we can do that right outside the entrance.” As Eddie spoke, he opened the car door, tugging the bag’s strap onto his shoulder. “You ready for your close-up, Ms. Ochsenstein?” 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” Bex teased, “you have to see if you can stand being around me for more than ten minutes. If I recall, last time, I couldn’t.” She stuck her tongue out but held the camera back up, examining him through it. “I think the camera is in love with you, actually. It can’t look away!” Gosh, when was the last time she’d felt so free and excited? She was just brimming with anticipation, and it was jittering in her stomach. The last time she’d been this excited was when she’d gone out with Mina to the casino. That, turns out, had been a different sort of excited. “And I’m not camera shy, thank you very much. I just think you’re much better suited for it than me.” 

Eddie hopped out of the car and she followed his lead, sliding the camera strap over her shoulder so it didn’t fall from her grip. She was well aware she was clumsy enough to accidentally drop it and if she broke one of his cameras, she’d feel so guilty. Extra safety precautions were worth it. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” she chirped, following after him.

“Yeah, I really don’t see that being an issue on my end,” Eddie said, and he meant it wholeheartedly. “But, so long as we don’t run into any unforeseen Bex-repellent, here’s hoping your tolerance for me will have gone up.” As she continued filming him, he felt a sudden surge of fondness. After their last outing, it felt positively wonderful to see her enjoying herself. “Technically, that camera pays my bills, so it can ogle me all it wants.” The excitement Bex felt must’ve been contagious. Enthusiasm bubbled in Eddie’s stomach, reminding him of how he felt when he first started making videos. “I beg to differ—I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna be a natural.”

As they approached the building’s entrance, Eddie raised his camera and aimed it at Bex. He took a few steps to the left, making sure he lined the shot up perfectly. “Viewers, I’d like to take a moment and introduce you to my new and very good weird friend, Bex. She’ll be helping to make sure I don’t die today, which I think is very cool of her. Bex, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you’re feeling about what we’re about to do?”

“Uh huh, we’ll see,” Bex said with a smirk. There was a strange natural ease with which she fell in stride with Eddie, both in their conversation and in their steps. She followed him up towards the building, looking at all the buttons on the camera as she did, wondering if he knew what they all did. “Oh, you’ll be surprised how much I can tolerate. I think we’ll be okay.” The building didn’t look much different than most places around town, but it was abandoned and Bex really hoped it wasn’t going to cave in on her, like the last place had. “Well, if it pays the bills, it must be worth it,” she grinned. 

Eddie ushered her towards the entrance and she set the camera down, closing the viewer so it didn’t look awkward and clunky while it dangled there. Bex cleared her throat and fixed her hair in an attempt to try and make the rosiness in her cheeks less apparent as he pointed the camera at her. She’d been on camera and video plenty of times-- the way her life had run it was unavoidable-- but never in a manner that left her feeling so...exposed. He asked her to talk about herself, her real self, and she’d never done that to a camera before. Swallowing, she nodded. “Uh, well-- My name’s Bexley. But you already know that. That was-- anyway!” she shifted in her spot. “Well, I’m a student at UMWC for pre--” she paused, thought on it, “--for Anthropology. I’m actually really good at making sure people don’t die, so you guys don’t have to worry. I’ll make sure Eddie doesn’t get got by a ghost.” 

Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten along this well with someone. As pathetic as it made him feel, he knew it must’ve been a few years ago, at least. Ostensibly, he could have reached this level of friendliness with a few of the ghosts from his past, but they always moved on quickly. He couldn’t resent them for that, not when he made it a point to help them. “Uh-huh, we’ll see,” he parrotted her words back to her when she claimed to have a high tolerance. 

Eddie kept still while Bex stumbled through her introduction, grinning at the mistakes. He didn’t mean to poke fun at her necessarily, it was just an incredibly endearing display. “Perfect,” he said when she was done, lowering the camera. “Anthropology, huh? I should’ve been able to guess that.” Eddie closed the distance between himself and Bex. “Now, we go in and hope the ghost’s aren’t feeling shy tonight.” He slipped past her and approached the door. One tug at the handle told him that entering wouldn’t be that easy. 

He looked over his shoulder at Bex. “Hey, wanna see a trick?” Eddie’s attention turned back to the door. He took a moment to study the structure, checking for any important details. Once satisfied, he focused on what he wanted the door to do. In his mind, he saw it opening. A few moments later, it actually did. “That’s gonna make tomorrow a migraine day, but I wanted to impress you,” he admitted with a shrug.

“Well, I used to be in pre-law, actually,” Bex pointed out as she let him come over to her, smiling. He seemed satisfied with her introduction, even if she found it relatively subpar. That was just kind of who she was, as a person-- subpar. She wasn’t going to share that thought out loud, though. She didn’t want to ruin a good thing. And, really, this was a good thing. Eddie seemed really nice and like he knew how to have fun and he was being super supportive of her, already. Plus, Nell knew him, and she trusted Nell’s judgement probably more than her own. “Do they often feel shy? Do you think they’ll actually come out if I’m here? What if I make them feel uncomfortable, since I can’t see them?” she asked with sudden realization. She hope she wasn’t just ruining his entire day of filming. She imagined it took a lot of effort, and then there was the editing and the uploading and everything in between. 

They found the door locked, and Bex was prepared to offer her rarely now used lock picking skills when he offered to show her a trick, instead. Curious, she nodded and stepped back, watching him closely. Suddenly, the door clicked open and swung on its hinges to invite them in. Bex’s face lit up. “Woah! That was so cool! Like, legitimately! I’m not just saying that. Besides N-- my magic mentor, I don’t know anyone else who can use magic. Not really. And I know it’s, like, different, but it’s still a type of magic.” She grinned. “Well, color me impressed. And remind me when we get back that I have some really good uh-- things to help with pain.” She didn’t know what she’d call Nell’s medicine, but it helped with pain. A lot more than ibuprofen or tylenol ever did. 

She gestured towards the inside, picking her camera back up. “You first. You are the star of this show, after all.” And she couldn’t help the pick-up in her heartbeat as she felt anticipation run through her veins. 

“Yikes, that sounds like… so much school, too much even,” Eddie replied with a mild grimace. School never suited him, there were too many subjects he couldn’t care less about. If it wasn’t for the ghosts who frequently guided him in cheating, he would’ve flunked out years before graduating. Bex, on the other hand, seemed like a decently bookish person. He wondered what it would be like to have that kind of brain between his ears. As it was, he could only retain information about topics that inspired him. Hyperfixations, the professionals called them.

Eddie grinned at her barrage of ghost-related questions, more than happy to be around someone who actually took an interest in what he did. “No worries, you’re gonna be just fine. Most ghosts are pretty used to not being seen. They’re more shy when they know they’re being watched, so I’m more likely to gum up the works than you are,” he assured her. “Luckily, I’ve kind of learned their language over the years, so I’m not too pressed about it. I’ll coax them out of hiding one way or another.”

“You have a magic mentor? Neat,” he said, beaming from ear-to-ear. Bex referring to telekinesis as magic only prolonged his smile. “Look at us having so much in common, no wonder we’re such fast friends.” Eddie loved the idea of partaking in some sort of magical remedy for his pain instead of relying solely on the mundane effects of tylenol. “You’re a pharmacist too—is there anything you can’t do, Bex Ochsenstein?” 

Eddie’s head bowed in response before he took a few steps deeper into the building. He raised his camera again and filmed a sweeping shot of the area. It looked as if no one had been inside for years, which obviously wasn’t much of a surprise considering they likely hadn’t. “Alright, my dearly departed friends, if you’re here—I’ve got someone who’d like to meet you.” When his statement wrapped up, a translucent individual wafted into view. For all intents and purposes, she looked perfectly fine for a ghost; no signs of a traumatic death.

“Bex,” Eddie said. “I really wish you could see her.” 

His attention turned back to the ghost. “First of all, it’s an honor to meet you—do you mind being part of a video? I know you won’t show up or anything, but y’know.”

“Run,” said the ghost.

“Beg your pardon?” Eddie questioned.

“We’re not alone.”

After she gave her warning, the floor began to quake beneath them, and the door instantly slammed shut.

“Pre-law was a lot,” Bex agreed, nodding. And made even worse so by the fact that she’d never wanted to do it in the first place. She ducked inside the house after Eddie and held up her camera, pointing it at Eddie. She flipped on the dark vision switch and watched it flicker to life. She turned in a circle as she walked around, making sure to film their surroundings. “Do ghosts not like you, then?” she asked, turning to zoom the camera in on Eddie’s face. “Tell us the truth, Mister Ghost Man.” She grinned from behind the lens, pausing in one of the doorways.

“I do, she’s pretty great,” she answered, unsure if she should tell Eddie about Nell, considering he knew her. Did he know know, though? It probably wasn’t her secret to tell, and if he didn’t know, there was a reason by now. She could only wonder what it was, though. “Oh, don’t you worry, there’s quite a bit I can’t do. Like ride a bike, or drive a car, or see ghosts.” She stopped when Eddie did, gazing at something she could not see. A ghost, she assumed. The air around them chilled and Bex noticed her breath coming out in puffs in front of her lips. “I wish I could, too…” she murmured. 

But something in the air changed, she could feel it.

“Um, Eddie?” she started, turning to him-- but she didn’t get much of a chance to say anything else, as the floor shook and the door swung shut behind her. She jumped and scrambled over to Eddie, wrapping her arms around his free one. “What’s happening? What did she say?” She wasn’t sure what to do, but she didn’t want to do anything to offend the ghost or-- whatever else was there with them. She wasn’t sure her magic could protect either of them from ghosts. They weren’t inside of wooden dolls this time.

“Sometimes,” Eddie admitted with an embarrassed grin. “Like I told you before, plenty of people have let me know that I’m too much, and not all of those people were alive when they said it.” Just because he loved ghosts didn’t mean they always loved him back. As much as he tried to put their needs first, his best didn’t always cut it. “But, more often than not, they like me okay. That’s the best I can ask for, really.”

“Aside from seeing ghosts, everything else you listed is overrated, anyway,” Eddie said with a small nod. The focus quickly shifted to what they came to the abandoned building for, and he felt blissfully in his element until the sudden shift in atmosphere. If he’d come here alone, the appearance of danger wouldn’t have bothered him, but Bex was here. He couldn’t allow her to get swept up in his death-wish.

Eddie pulled his arm away from her, but only so he could wrap it around her. “She told us to run,” he replied. “No way we’re gonna get through the way we came if it doesn’t want us to.” His eyes scanned the room, looking for a way out. Items, forgotten or discarded by their original owners, were strewn across the floor of the building. The spirit causing the recent commotion decided to begin hurling them in whatever direction it fancied. Eddie ducked, pulling Bex down with him, as a wrench flew overhead. “Shit,” he hissed.

His gaze landed on a broken window at the opposite end of the room. “There!” he called out, guiding Bex towards it.

“Well, you’re not too much,” Bex said back with a huff, “if I’m not, you’re not.” It was only fair, right? She would have tried to find another snappy retort if she could, but as it were, the trembling of the floor and the sudden array of items being thrown about really put a pause on her mind trying to come up with one. Eddie wrapped his arm around her and she pressed into him, looking around for an exit as well. But she kept the camera up as much as she could-- he’d want this footage, right? He pulled her down just as a wrench went flying through the space her head had been in previously and she looked behind her to find it wedged in the wall. Her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t. It was like with the hunter, in the alley. She wasn’t afraid.

Eddie’s voice brought her back to herself and she looked at the window across the room. “C’mon!” she took off for it, pulling him with her, her other hand still gripping the camera. It was an expensive piece of equipment, she couldn’t let it break on her first venture out. When they reached the window, she went to bust it open, but the wooden panes from the outside swung angrily shut in her face and she jumped back. “I don’t think it wants us to leave this way, either!” she said, casting a worried glance back at him. “Duck!” She grabbed him and tugged him out of the way as what looked like an old rotary phone came flying at them. It shattered on the wall where Eddie’s head had been. “Are they always this upset? What’s wrong with her?” 

Bex took off towards the window and Eddie realized something; he’d underestimated her. Not on purpose, of course, but still—she didn’t need to be treated with kid gloves. The panic attack he witnessed in the alley did not define her. Amidst the chaos and dread, he witnessed a new side of her. Bex Ochsenstein was brave, and she didn’t need him to play the part of a hero.

“That’s pretty inconsiderate of it,” Eddie snarked when their way-out turned into a dead-end. Bex yanked him down, same way he’d done for her. He grinned at the role reversal, he couldn’t help it. “It’s not her,” he said. “It’s something else—my money’s on it being a poltergeist. And, yeah, they’re a little touchy.” More than ever, Eddie resented not being raised by fellow mediums. If he had, he might’ve known a thing or two about impromptu exorcisms.

“You said you know some latin, right?” Eddie began digging in the bag that held his camera equipment. “My pronunciation is shit, but maybe you’ll have better luck than me.” He retrieved a worn-out, leather bound book and shoved it into Bex’s free hand. “Don’t ask me which page has the answers, I’m fully playing this by ear.” As he went back to digging in his bag, one of the other windows shattered, covering the floor in jagged glass. He flinched, but kept digging until he pulled out a bag of salt. “Start reading,” he instructed her as he began pouring the contents of the bag out in the shape of a circle with them safely in the middle.

“A poltergeist?” Bex asked. Oh, she was definitely writing this down when they got done. Poltergeists were different from regular ghosts. She wondered what made a ghost into a poltergeist. Or if they even could become one. Were they a special type of ghost? Were there different types of ghosts? She didn’t have too much time to consider all the questions popping into her head because Eddie was pushing her away from the window and handing her a book. “Latin? Oh, no, I’m much better with Hebre--” The window shattering cut her sentence short and she squeaked, nodding, “Latin! Got it!”

Eddie was pulling something else out of his bag and Bex had to remind herself to not watch him and just read whatever was written in front of her. She didn’t understand a lot of the words on the page, but there were a few that stood out. Mostly, the word protect. Okay, she could work with that. She didn’t know if she was supposed to do anything else while she read, so she just started saying the words out loud, backing up into Eddie’s salt circle. “Oh! Neat! A salt circle, is that--” A lamp shattered near their heads. “Right! Sorry! Excuse me, mister ghost slash possible poltergeist! We don’t mean any harm!” She felt the floorboards shudder beneath her and she stumbled, nearly dropping the book and the camera. “I-- I don’t think this is working, Eddie. Should I try a different page? Ne-- my mentor did tell me something about how um, exorcist magic is different from spellcaster magic, but--” she ducked as a shoe came flying at her, “--maybe I can use magic!” Or maybe she shouldn’t. She was still recovering from messing with that hunter. And she wasn’t sure using magic on camera was the best idea. “Where is it? Maybe we can just talk to it. She seems like a reasonable gal, don’t you think?”

As the building continued to rattle and the lamp shattered, Eddie reached the same conclusion as Bex. Much to his dismay, they seemed utterly out of luck, but he wasn’t keen on giving up yet. He carefully set his camera down within their salt circle—if it didn’t survive this excursion, he wouldn’t be too heartbroken, but he’d do what he could to protect his bank account.

“I would love to settle this with a heart-to-heart, but poltergeists aren’t known for being reasonable.” Eddie carelessly discarded the used-up bag of salt as the few in-tact windows began opening and slamming shut. It felt an awful lot like their poltergeist was taunting them. His thoughts back-peddled to the comment Bex made about exorcist magic. As a medium, he wondered if that particular brand of spellcraft was in his blood already.

“Magic,” he mused, carefully taking the book from Bex’s hands. “You know any spells that’ll keep our angry little buddy from giving me brain damage?” Eddie opened the tome to a random page. From what he could parse, it seemed like a pretty simple means of temporary banishment. He could only hope it was simple enough for someone without any skill. “Time to find out if mediumship has any extra perks.”

“Okay,” Bex said, “fair enough!” She scooted behind Eddie as he set his camera down and took the book from her. He flipped through the book to a different page and she tried to wrack her mind for any sort of spell that could stop someone from throwing things at them. She knew about the spell to make things move on their own, maybe if she just redirected that energy into making an object stop, it would work? “Yeah, yep! I-- I’ll give it a try! Hopefully no head damage from this, but, uh-- no guarantees!” 

She looked towards where she thought the poltergeist was-- it was the direction all the things were flying from-- and concentrated. It was relatively soon after the incident with the hunter, but she could try! She could totally try. She could do this. She could protect her friend. Something whizzed towards them and Bex held up her hands, concentrating, and managed to at least misdirect it, watching it shatter on the wall behind them. “Oh! Oh! I did it! Eddie, I--” she started, but something else started heading for them and she put her hands back up. “Just, uh-- hurry with whatever you’re doing! I’m not sure I can, uh, do this for too long!”

With the comfort of knowing Bex had a few tricks up her sleeve, Eddie began chanting in Latin. His brow furrowed as he steadied his focus—one mispronunciation and they’d be left vulnerable. He tried not to flinch as something shattered loudly against the wall behind them. Bex, clearly proud of her success, began bubbling with excitement. If Eddie hadn’t been so engrossed in the words before him, he would’ve joined her.

Just as Bex finished her warning, a loud shriek permeated the air, and the object in mid-flight dropped to the ground. Everything around them went quiet. Eddie looked up from the book, clearly startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. “Holy shit, Bex, I think we did it.”

Everything seemed to go a little faster for a moment, before suddenly, it stopped. Completely. The objects that had been whirling around in the space in front of them clattered loudly to the ground and Bex flinched from surprise, moving in closer to Eddie. After a moment, she realized it was quiet, but she didn’t make a move until Eddie declared his own, similar thoughts. “We-- we did it!” she said, her face lighting up. She patted his shoulders excitedly. “We did it! Oh my god, that was amazing! You’re amazing! This was amazing!” she exclaimed, before a swell of exhaustion overtook her and she felt her eyes roll up into the back of her head for a second. The next moment, her body began to drop.

Bex hit the floor without warning and Eddie quickly dropped to his knees beside her. “Bex?” he asked, his eyes wide with fright. “Bex, wake up.” He pulled her head into his lap and gingerly swept a few errant strands of hair out of her face. “We’re gonna be fine, but I need you to wake up, okay?” 

Looking down at her, Eddie realized how attached to her he’d become in the short amount of time they’d known each other. Bex represented everything he admired in a person: brave, enthusiastic, kind, open-minded. As she laid there unconscious, he wondered if the reason he’d never found the ‘right’ girl was because he’d never met her. She didn’t exactly set his heart on fire, but the idea of spending more time with her excited him. Maybe, that was all that mattered.

“Please,” he begged.

Bex didn’t know how long she’d been out-- realistically, it’d only been a few moments. Not even a full minute. She wasn’t even aware she’d fallen unconscious until her eyes were blinking open and she was staring up at Eddie, and he looked so worried. Confusion crossed her face for a moment as she looked up at him. “What-- what’s wrong?” she asked. Had something else happened? Was the ghost still here? Did they upset the other one? “Why are you looking at me like that?” It wasn’t until she tried to sit up that she realized she was horizontal. She blinked, her face contorted a moment, before she focused back on Eddie. “Are we on the floor? Where’s the ghost? Is she okay? The-- not poltergeist one.”

A sudden rush of relief mingled with the adrenaline coursing through Eddie’s entire system. Bex’s words fell on deaf ears. Amidst the chaos, Eddie completely forgot about the amiable ghost and her warnings—she could wait. “You passed out,” he said, his words drastically contrasting with the grin spreading across his face. “Bex, you were incredible. You…” He trailed off with a laugh. Eddie raised a hand to smooth his hair back from his forehead. Without allowing himself enough time to think through his next words, he plunged head-first into a proposal. “Would you ever wanna, like, go out? As more than friends, I mean. No pressure, I just think you’re really amazing.” And, if things between them went well, maybe he’d be able to shake the confusing attraction to Alfie. As far as he could tell, it would be an ideal scenario.

“I did?” Bex said, still in his lap, looking up at him. She didn’t exactly realize her head was in his lap. Maybe she would’ve moved, but maybe not. Suddenly, her cheeks burned. He was calling her incredible, when, really, she hadn’t done much. “Oh, no! You were the incredible one!” she lifted her hands and waved them in front of them. “You knew exactly what to do under all that pressure, and--” but he was laughing and talking again and Bex stared up at him with a slightly ajar mouth. “Oh.” She didn’t know what to say to that. “I-- I’m--” involved with someone? Seeing someone? Dating someone? Hanging out with someone? She didn’t know what her and Mina were doing, actually. Her cheeks burned again. “You’re very sweet, Eddie, really! And normally I would probably say yes, but I’m sort of--” she couldn’t say it. Why couldn’t she say it? She should just say it “--taking time for myself right now.” She looked up at him. “I-- I’m sorry. But I really like spending time with you! I do! I hope that’s okay.” Please be okay.

Eddie’s brow raised slightly as Bex stumbled over her words. Eventually, a gentle rejection formed. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. Strangely enough, a small part of him actually breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course, that’s okay,” Eddie said with a small nod. His cheeks were burning and he felt like more of an idiot than usual, but he could cope with that. “I, uh, think that was just a side-effect of the excitement getting to me, anyway. Taking time for yourself is really important! We can still play ghostbusters even if we’re just friends.” Deciding that he’d said more than enough, Eddie offered her his hand. “Let’s get you on your feet.”

She felt bad. Kinda. She should’ve probably said yes, right? That was what everyone had wanted from her. To be normal, to like boys. Bex took his hand and sat up, looking over at him. Her cheeks were burning again, too. “I really do like spending time with you, Eddie,” she said, “this was probably the most fun I’ve had in...a long time. But it was so fun! And I totally wanna do it again. You know, if you’ll have me?” Her head still felt a bit light, but she was smiling. She didn’t know what was wrong with her heart, or why it was stammering in her chest. Or why she felt somehow nervous, or like she’d done something wrong. She thought of Mina and felt her heart begin to calm, as she stood on wobbly legs, stumbling into him. “Sorry, sorry,” she muttered, “looks like I might need your support after all.” A tease, to help wipe away any lingering awkwardness. 

“Right, of course,” Eddie agreed, nodding perhaps a bit too vigorously. “Trust me, spending time with you is way too much of a blast to give it up over something like that. It would be an honor to almost die with you again in the future.” As Bex stumbled into him, Eddie wasted no time in bracing her by planting his hands on her either side of her waist. If the heat burning in his cheeks got any worse, he theorized he might burst into flames. “No worries,” he insisted with a laugh. “I’m a fan of you being conscious and upright, so I’ve got you.” With one hand still holding her in place, he dipped down to grab his camera and the book, carelessly shoving them into his bag before rising again. “Should I get you home, then? We can always make plans when you’re a little more steady.”

“Let’s-- maybe call it something else,” Bex said with an exasperated smile. “It’s-- an adventure! A-- could end badly but doesn't because we make such a good team, adventure! How’s that sound? Think that’ll fit on a channel title?” She let him balance her, wondering why it didn’t feel frightening or strange to have his hands on her hips. Usually, she shirked away from other people’s touch, but she’d been so-- okay with Eddie’s. She cleared her throat and tried not to think about it. “Ah, yes, I think home sounds like a good idea. Do you think we got enough footage? Do you edit all your own videos? Maybe I could come help with that?” she asked, looking at him with wide, curious eyes. She didn’t want the adventure to be over with yet, but her legs weren’t cooperating and she didn’t want to accidentally pass out on him again. Mina would be upset if she let that happen, or if she came home unconscious carried by another boy again.

“I like the sound of that, actually. A little lengthy, but hey, brevity isn’t everything,” Eddie said with a teasing grin. As always, her enthusiasm was catching. Besides his little blunder, tonight went amazingly. A little action, a little danger, a brief black-out; it checked all the boxes. His grin took a turn towards genuine fondness as Bex went into another of her patented question-barrages. “If we didn’t, we can come back during the daytime—see if our resident friendly ghost has any commentary she’d like to add.” Eddie began carefully walking them towards the exit as he spoke. “I do my own editing, yeah, and I would be more than happy to have you lend a hand. At the very least, the company would be nice,” he admitted earnestly. “If you’re back on your feet tomorrow, we can tackle movie magic tomorrow.” Eddie reached for the door and, thankfully, it opened without complaint this time around. “If, uh, that sounds good to you, of course.”

“Exactly! Sometimes you need a long title, just so that people know exactly what they’re getting themselves into, you know?” Bex beamed, she couldn’t help it. There was an energy about being around Eddie that made her feel seen. And excited and heard. And he felt the same way about all this supernatural stuff as her, and it was so nice to finally know someone who felt the same. Who didn’t tell her it was too dangerous or that it was too risky or that they just shouldn’t do it, because there might be trouble later. That wasn’t how things worked. If no one ever pushed for change, there never would be. But Eddie wanted that. And so did Bex. Maybe that was why she’d gravitated toward him so readily. “Oh, no, is she gone? Did we scare her off? Can you tell her I’m sorry? I totally didn’t mean her! I hope she’s okay,” she gasped, turning to look back towards the room where Eddie had pointed her out first as he led Bex towards the exit. “I can do tomorrow!” she said, maybe a bit too enthusiastically. Technically, she wanted to do it now, but he was right. She should get back home and rest. “I’ll be totally fine by tomorrow,” she said, paused, then added, “promise.”

“If you ask me, YouTube might be your calling instead of anthropology,” Eddie said, unable to hide the immense grin that always seemed to be plastered on his face when Bex was around. Having her remain as energetic as ever helped diminish the anxiety he felt after boldly asking her if she’d like to take their relationship to the next level. So long as he kept her in his life, he supposed it didn’t matter which labels they used. 

As she expressed concern over their ghost, Eddie laughed and resisted the urge to pull her closer in an attempt to comfort her. “You’re fine, I promise. She’s probably just a little rattled, I bet she’ll be back in time for our next visit.” Bex cared so much—about everything. Eddie admired that about her, how could he not? “You’ll have a chance to tell her yourself when that time rolls around.”

Her resounding confirmation caught Eddie off-guard. He glanced at her, wondering if the time she was taking for herself might end in a change of tune, after all. “I’ll hold you to that,” he said as they approached the passenger-side of the car. With his free-hand, he pulled the door open for her and gestured for her to enter. “If you haven’t guessed yet, I can be a tad clingy,” he confessed with a small shrug. 

“Oh, no, I’ll leave the internet sensationalism to you. I’d much rather be behind the camera, or better yet, down in the dirt,” Bex dismissed, feeling that warmth that often filled her when she talked about history or being on a dig, rising into her stomach again. Still, she did like doing this with Eddie. And she thought she’d done a pretty decent job! Hopefully she’d even actually shot some good footage. Only time would tell, she supposed, as she held onto him while they made their way to the car. It was right where they’d left it, and she wasn’t sure why she thought the outside world was going to be any different after her first ghost encounter. It was all strangely exactly the same.

“Well, I hope she’s okay. I’ll definitely be asking her to make sure when we come back. Do ghosts like gifts? Or-- offerings? Is it an offering if you give a ghost something? Maybe we can bring her flowers. I know a good florist in town,” she rambled, watching Eddie come around and open the door for her. She looked at his face then-- really looked at him-- and wondered what might be wrong with her, if she’d rejected him so readily. Was something wrong with her? With the way Mina made her feel? She blinked the thoughts away and let a warm smile carve onto her lips. “Don’t worry,” she said, stepping towards the car, “I’m clingy, too.” She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before lowering herself into the car, and, wondering, why she’d done that at all. 

[rewatching-supernatural]

s09e06

So the guy called a suicide hotline

wow, a pink explosion

*****

CASTIEL! missed you buddy ❤️💙

he's learning from the humans

he's called Steve now, apparently

He's special alright

*****

Kevin is doing anthropology linguistics, that's fucking hard guys, give him a break

*****

Cas calling while making a mess of the slushie machine 😂

*****

"In other words, a perfect excuse to bail out on research."

*****

Cas being asked out on a date

He looks confused, but happy

Live your life, little buddy

*****

wow, everything is covered in pink

guy literally exploded

*****

Dean is looking at Cas 😭😭😭

*****

Okay okay, for the youth watching this, BACK THEN, kids her age were on Facebook! yes! there was a time when Facebook was cool!

I know now, it doesn't make any sense, but this was normal talk for a teenager back then, I swear

*****

DEAN AND CAS 😭😭😭💙💙❤️

Cas is so proud of this little life of his and Dean's what? sad, angry? disappointed

*****

Sam trying to manipulate Crowley 😂

*****

- I wouldn't be much use, I don't have my powers.

- So? I've never had powers.

True, Dean, true

*****

Castiel knows things, as always

*****

I almost expected Cas to disappear before I remembered 😬😂

*****

Cas is scared 😔

It does make sense that this angel doesn't grasp human emotion correctly

*****

Crowley wants to call Abaddon

*****

Dean giving Cas dating advice

*****

Cas got a rose 😭😭😭😭😭

*****

Ah, this hurts as much as the first time I watched it

😭😭��😭😭😭😭 poor Cas, experiencing heartbreak and disappointment and humiliation or self-pity and sadness ❤️

*****

they're gonna let him call, ridiculous

but it's so worth it to watch Crowley be put on hold by his demons

*****

Castiel as a babysitter, ladies and gents and others

The fact that this is the least weird role Misha has had in this show is, uh, quite spectacular

*****

Why won't Cas call Dean? Dean can always help

*****

Of course he came for Cas

*****

Ah, Crowley's still on hold

"Bring me the translations. I keep my agreements."

*****

Dean coming in to save Cas 💙

*****

Cas doesn't have a home 😭 he was so ezcited to move into the bunker with them, and Dean kicked him out 😭😭😭

*****

Dean come on, you gotta tell him the truth! 😭

[ryttu3k]

First Bloodlines run - here’s how it worked out!

Didn’t get to actually finish - thanks, cutscene glitch - but I got to the last scene and I at least watched the Anarch ending on Youtube XD;; While I really do want to do at least two more runs, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to; either way, I mostly enjoyed my first run a ton!

More detail below the cut - how Sierra turned out as protag, and her views on other characters. I’ll write a separate ‘thoughts on Bloodlines as a game and its characters’ later on, this is just for Sierra’s run specifically.

So, Sierra as a character! Usually super high humanity - most drops were due to glitches or completely accidental (glitch - had to kill Hospital Guy because it flat-out wouldn’t let him escape, danced it back. Accidental - shot one of the hostages at Hollowbrook, felt horrible for it). One non-accidental one was convincing Ash to switch clothes with a guy at the club; she hadn’t expected the hunters to kill first and ask questions later. Yeah, also felt guilty about it. Otherwise, I’m pretty happy to put her at 9 for Humanity - she tried to help everyone she could, aside from those actively trying to kill her.

Ended up a much brainier character than I was expecting, which, uh, is usually what happens with my characters tbh. Still fits her character! She’s not scholarly (was a college drop-out) and prefers actually doing things than sitting still, but she’s clever and curious. Combat was usually almost always melee, because vampires with katanas are cool. High persuasion, she’s good at defusing a situation when fighting isn’t warranted.

Most-used discipline ended up being Animalism. Never did max out Protean :( Did use it a ton in dark areas, but mostly for night vision.

Sidequests - got a lot done. Failed three - Spiritual Release (sorry, ghosts :( ), You Only Die Once A Night (actually, I started this then died with 30 seconds to go, reset, and refused to start it again XD), and Dirty Dishes.

Missed or outright avoided Drug Trip, Trick or Treatment (Heather - the whole storyline with her bugs me), Daydream Believer (Copper is sweet, dammit, don't be mean!!), Replanting a Lily (never went back to the clinic after saving Lily), Traffik, And Her Name Was Venus/Venucide, Pimpin' for Romero, A Dish Best Served Cold (alas, you can’t convince the reviewer to give it a ragingly good review just to piss off SparklingWater XD), Model Citizen/Cover Girl, Poster Session, and all the Chinatown ones (I would have done Gone Fishin' if I had found it, refused Eye Gouge Hell, didn't encounter the others).

Character interactions - ended up ride-or-die Anarch. Part of that was that her literal first impressions were of Nines saving her life and Jack guiding her through how to survive a terrifying, bewildering situation, a lot of it was that she did start out as an activist in the first place, so falling in with the Anarchs was a natural continuation of that. Adores and looks up to Nines, felt horrifically guilty at the blood hunt, and was devastated when she thought he had died at Griffith Park. She was a mess after that (also a good part to do with rotschreck and spending a good five minutes or so trying really hard not to frenzy in terror), and it was only because of Jack that she didn’t fall apart completely. Jack is like the favourite weird uncle - she doesn’t know his involvement in the whole plot and I think wouldn’t quite understand why he set it in motion, but she really likes the impression he shows. Adores Damsel, and she’s not sure what to do with Skelter’s belief in the more religious aspects of stuff but likes him a lot too.

Aside from Nines, the other character she adores the most is Beckett! Her first words to him were literally, “Holy shit how did you do that that’s so cool can you teach me to do that?!”, she finds his adventures and knowledge absolutely fascinating, and she definitely started looking up archeological and anthropological stuff both for her own curiosity and to impress him XD

Other positive relationships - Jeanette is a bit complicated because of the whole Slashterpiece and pendant thing, but damn, at least she didn’t try to kill her like Therese did; while she wanted to reconcile the sisters, she was kind of relieved when Jeanette was the one who survived. Just found her more approachable and welcoming. Also definitely got drawn in by VV. She’s weak for pretty girls XD Got on great with Merc (despite the whole... Cammy thing), Knox, the Thinblood kids (who she hung out with a bunch while still in Santa Monica), Trip, Mitnick, and Ash (who she will fight people to protect). Chunk is a precious being who must be protected at all costs; at the Tower, she advised him that LaCroix was no good and he deserved better.

Complicated situations - initially did think Strauss was okay but her views on him soured fast when she learned about gargoyles. Isaac is mostly fine but they don’t have a lot of common ground, given her preferred genre is ‘loud action movies’ XD She can see why VV looks up to him, though, and felt quite sad about everything with Ash in general. Pisha scared her but she tried really hard not to judge, basically? I mean, predators gotta eat too... The cab driver bothers her for reasons she can’t articulate. Very odd man, that one. When she learned why the Southland Slasher was doing what he was doing, she felt sorry for him, and encouraged him to join the Anarchs for direction and a more positive outlet for his emotions.

Antagonists - mostly didn’t take pleasure in killing them, but she definitely felt pretty satisfied stabbing LaCroix >.> Will have nightmares for the rest of her unlife about Andrei’s house and the sanctum at Hollowbrook, the Mandarin’s tests, and the expression on Ash’s face when he talked about how much the Society of Leopold enjoyed torturing him. Gimble freaked her the hell out. And if she ever catches Vandal Cleaver alone, she’s going to flat-out kill him if she gets the opportunity.

For the future, I’ve been trying to work out how she and Lettow supposedly know each other (he mentions the fledgling as ‘a friend of mine’), given their opposing political views. I’m thinking their common ground would be that they’re both Gangrel; I can see them meeting by chance at some point, and Sierra requesting tutoring in Protean forms, which Lettow is pretty damn good at (she might be higher generation, 8th to his 9th, but he’s a lot older and more experienced).

Beyond that, info on her and her coterie can be found here! Yes, she fully appreciates the irony of dating a Garou, haha.

[uh-velkommen]

Guys I gotta admit this isn't living up to what I expected it to be. I've been becoming more and more depressed because I thought going to grad school would be this big life changing event where I was really gonna find myself, engrain myself thoroughly into a new culture, learn so much about the topic I enjoy, and maybe even meet some super cool people along the way. And while I'm not particularly struggling in those departments, I just feel like this was a waste of time. I wanna just move back to the US, refund my student loans, and pick up where I left off in August. I keep thinking about how I had my apartment furnished exactly how I dreamed it would look and how I was able to stock my kitchen pantry with fresh ingredients to bake desserts every night from scratch and I just enjoyed living in my own peace. When I was in school I didn't want to leave because school felt like where I belonged. When I was an "adult" I didn't want to leave because I felt at peace. Now I'm back at school and I don't want either thing. I don't want to restart my meshing into adulthood but I don't want to financially struggle and only talk to people for 3 hours a day each week.

I decided to meet with my academic advisor to plan out my two years because I felt like that would give me motivation to keep going. I want to study multilingualism and neurolinguistics. All of which was advertised when it came time to search for graduate programs. But then I meet with my Advisor and she tells me they're not offering classes like that in the near future. I ask about taking classes in Copenhagen or Stockholm at the same time, she tells me I'd have to pay double tuition as a non-EU student. I tell her, okay how about language evolution, that was something I really emphasized having an interest in when I did my application. She offers me, "Variations of English" and "Sounds of the world's languages." These are classes I already took in my undergrad. And this is a recurring problem. Linguistic departments are always so small and understaffed that they end up offering the same things over and over again. I'm currently taking classes on things I already know! To make things worse, they keep telling me that I need to take B.A. level courses here since I didn't major in Linguistics in my undergrad. I explained to them over and over that I took classes in those general subjects, phonetics, syntax, semantics, etc. and my advisor replied with, "We want to make sure you take classes that cover linguistic theory" Okay so like, Chomsky and Sapir, I can do that, what are the classes called? "Syntax and Semantics." OH MY FUCKING GOD. I can't bare another semantics course, I've taken like 3 already. Finally I just show her my transcripts so she can see what classes I took and she goes, "huh, I don't see a lot of linguistics here?" And I can just HEAR her thoughts floating around saying, Why did we even admit you??

I mean, shit I've been thinking the same thing. I'm not struggling though, I was a straight A student in all my Anthro/Ling classes. And I told them over and over that I was a Linguistic Anthropologist and that's why most of my classes are listed under Anthropology and that I'm here to really narrow down my studies. I WANT to do the hard stuff. I want this interest to be reignited and I'm just not getting it here. This is a waste of time and money because this school isn't providing what I need.

But I'm not a quitter, I can't just stop something a month into it, I just don't know how. So I remind myself that this is a means to an end. We do this for two years, we get a job, we live in Sweden, we're happy. But linguistics isn't exactly a lucrative field, in fact, I know exactly what the job market looks like in Scandinavia and nobody is looking to hire an M.A. Linguistics kid. Finding work here is not garaunteed. So then what, I do all this, go into debt, go broke, ruin my credit score, end up with no job and no home to return to, scrambling to find an apartment in a city I've never been to with a job I have no true passion for and the remorse of an opportunity wasted weighing on my conscious? But hey, at least I got to live in Sweden!/s