#SHE IS YOUNG AND WANTS TO DO WHAT'S BEST

[torchickentacos]

ok i've been feeling under the weather (chronic, not covid) and i've been binge watching warrior cats infodumps/video essays and.... hhhhhh do I REALLY want to reread half the series to make a post about my leopardstar apologism?? becuse girlie deserved better and if she was written better she'd be everyone's favorite literal wet cat pathetic girlfail girlboss tragic character but nope. got vriska'd but like in a 'shallow without redeeming qualities' kinda way

[dollypopup]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

[sallytwo]

Jennifer nearly jumped into the water / and she was tired like no one's ever been tired

[whatsjulietslastname]

if i see any more Chloe hate i’m going to fucking explode. i’m not even kidding this makes me physically ill i’m going to create a fucking uQuiz about Chloe Price’s character and if you get a bad score you officially do not understand her character and has no right to talk about her whatsoever because you cannot just……say shit like « yeah duh of course i chose Arcadia Bay over her she was so dramatic and annoying and so mean omg 🙄🙄🙄 » i’m coming for you. like you can chose Arcadia Bay it’s a choice based game but if you did it because ‘Chloe was such a meanie 😓’ OH MY GOD. i’m. aidiaoisoz. can someone plz stop me i’m going to jump off a roof /j

[nothipsterenoughforthis]

You know what’s impressive? (As someone outside the law enforcement circles, more of an “outsider looking in”)

It’s 25 year old Matsuda Touta being invited to attend an ICPO conference with Yagami Soichiro, Police Investigation Bureau Chief

Like???

Sure, it was his first meeting at the start of the series, but do you know what I was doing at 25 years old? Not going to INTERPOL, aka International Criminal Police Investigation, conferences with the Chief of my department, that’s for sure

What a guy

[mewtwo24]

You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j

[queencaramilflinda]

Everyone during neverafter 15: oh my god these social interactions are going horribly they’re all doing so bad!

Me, neurodivergent and cannot read social cues: idk mostly these seem fine

[coquelicoq]

yeah natori is 23 and since matoba is one year younger, he's 22 at the very start of the manga/anime :))) i think it was like around season 3 of natsume when i learned this and went ????????????? and had to go lie down for a while

unacceptable. midorikawa-sensei answer for your crimes. the thing that's killing me currently is i know i learned this information back when i read a bunch of fic after watching the show for the first time - which was less than a year ago - but apparently REPRESSED IT because it was sooo does not compute. and then had to learn it all over again just recently. my poor brain tried so hard to protect me from this knowledge but alas.

FREE THEM they're baby adults they should not have this kind of weight on their shoulders and have like. employees and shit!!! "oh look a dumbass teenager with a heart of gold. how about i protect him with my life" HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF YOU MAN-SIZED CATERPILLAR!!! they need to be in their cocoon era not in their head-of-the-family life-and-death-decision-making era. when you're 22 you're legally obligated to make questionable life choices and it seems self-evident you should not have to be forming lifelong contracts with supernatural beings until after you've gotten some of that out of your system but WHAT DO I KNOW, i'm just a thirtysomething with over a decade on natori who still does the modern-day equivalent of unplugging my answering machine so people can't leave me cursed voicemails. i look back on my 23yo self and i want to cry from how much she was learning and how hard she was trying. i love her so much it breaks my heart. stop putting these young men into situations they need to be in situations but maybe ones less fraught with mortal consequences. maybe some situations more along the lines of figuring out the hard way not to buy dryclean-only shirts because who has time to go to the drycleaners? that's just one idea, i've got more of these. midorikawa-sensei are you listening??

[kerryweaverlesbian]

The Winchester brothers? Oh I think you mean Sam Leahy and Dean Singer <3 I think their mom is Mary Campbell-Winchester so maybe that's where you got confused <3

[arolesbianism]

Despite how much I suffered making my last isat au Aris sprite redraw, I decided to do it again and once again went through hell doing it. There’s like a billion mistakes in this (such as her having the wrong arm rip) but at the end of the day I’m still happy with how it turned out :]

[widevibratobitch]

do i really want this relationship to continue tho if i genuinely feel worse after every interaction with her and she is in 89% responsible for my already precarious self esteem crashing and plummeting most severely in the span of just three years?

[queenerdloser]

reading baldur's gate fic is so funny to me sometimes because almost every single tav i've read is like. a nerd. awkward. stuck in a library/commune/forest and doesn't know How To Do People. combat unready. a wee paper slip of a person. self-doubting and uncertain.

whereas i am out here with my bard who dumped all her stats in charisma and perception and therefore is no longer able to fail a persuasion check. and my personal backstory for her is that she's an insanely well known frontman for a rock band in baldur's gate so literally everyone they meet knows who she is. nonstop flirt. clocks manipulation left and right because seeing through performances is like half of her skillset. oh yeah. and she can fucking oneshot you by being mean in your direction.

[sbd-laytall]

Smallville | 4.03 | "Facade"

[aflawedfashion]

Elizaveta Tuktamysheva keeps saying she wants to return to competition and a few things sound like maybe, just maybe it could be this upcoming season, and I really want that to be true

[kelpiemomma]

It happened in the blink of an eye.

The Alpha Alakazam glanced at Khan, who had been oddly subdued since begrudgingly giving up where their next destination was, and then Ingo heard “you might be surprised by what you need,” and suddenly he was in the middle of a blood bath.

And Ingo was no stranger to battles- he and Emmet made a living off them, after all, and he'd participated in a handful of raids against scientists who thought they knew best for the world. He had seen the aftermath of people who had been attacked by wild pokemon, and what remained of those who decided their best course of action in life was to jump into a set of train tracks. It was never any less horrifying, and Ingo occasionally had nightmares about what he'd seen, but where he was now…

It simply was a nightmare.

Fires burned in varying degrees all around him. Some consumed trees, and some consumed bodies. He tried to find something to put them out with there was nothing nearby. Not even snow. At the sound of laughter he turned his head to see a group of humans in pale tunics walking away, a few of them carrying bloodied sticks. Anger flushed through his veins and he went to chase after them but was pulled backwards instead. He tried again, and again, but their strange words vanished into the forest and faded into darkness. Ingo was left surrounded by corpses of pokemon, confused and horrified.

There was nothing he could do, and he didn't know why he was here.

The sun faded in the sky and the fires began to die, slowly turning to embers. The bodies they'd consumed were nothing but charred husks, and the primitive buildings he'd first thought to simply be fallen trees collapsed on themselves with no support left. It has taken Ingo longer than he cared to admit that this hadn't just been a group of pokemon- it had been their home, where they'd had their own rooms. There were enough bodies here to be an entire family, the kind biologists loved to see where he came from. They were so few and far between, requiring a curious amount of intelligence, teamwork, and tolerance. He knew people, personally, who would have loved to observe this family.

And here he was, observing their bodies instead.

A terrified yelp grabbed his attention; another den had just collapsed. Apparently this inhabitant had been alive. Ingo dashed over and tried to remove branches- his hands went right through, but he didn't stop trying. After releasing his own anguished scream - why was he here when he was so useless?! - the branches moved. An ashen, burnt paw emerged first. The sticks wiggled again, collapsing around the body further, until the remaining pokemon finally managed to pull itself free. And it was only then, staring at the young Zorua, that Ingo finally realized what he must have walked into.

He turned to look, to take in what he had taken for granted before.

The bodies weren't just pokemon. They were Zoroarks, Zoruas. Pokemon that had, from his understanding, been long loathed in Hisui. Seen as ill omens, as dangers to their societies. This clan must have settled somewhere, thinking it a safe area to raise their family, only for it to be discovered by humans. Humans who were fearful of what they saw as dangerous. Attack before you are attacked. Ingo could, to an extent, understand why- pokemon in Hisui were so much more aggressive, defensive, than those he had grown up with and known. Some people had pokemon partners but they were not like what he was used to. And with this clan settling in, with new generations being reared, he could only imagine the thought process the humans who had found it must have had.

Get them, before they get us.

He turned back to the Zorua, who had emerged from the collapsed den and now stood silently.

Staring.

Ingo wanted to know what his expression was, but just as he began to lean over to look the pokemon began moving. He approached the closest corpse first- this one hadn't been burned, at least, but there was a puddle of blood haloing it. The Zorua didn't seem to notice his paws getting wet as he drew closer, lifting a paw to nudge the body. The corpse. As Ingo expected, there was no response. The Zorua tried again, finally turning away when the corpse remained still.

Ingo followed as it staggered around the ashes of the clearing, prodding at every body it found regardless of their state. Some were so very obviously dead… but the Zorua still tried.

Trauma, Ingo knew, did funny things to a mind. To one as young as this…

It was no wonder why Khan was the way he was.

The young pokemon finally stopped, his breaths coming faster and faster. Ingo knelt down when his back legs collapsed, arms reaching out as if he could help. As before, he simply phased through. The Zorua turned his head, finally revealing the scar that Ingo would come to know well, now a fresh wound that still bled. His paws were cut up and burnt, there were scratches and lesions all along his back. He was a mess. Ingo could hear frantic, near-silent whines coming from the Zorua. It was hard to say if the volume was from fear that he would be heard, or if the smoke had gotten to his lungs.

Tears began slipping from the Zorua 's eyes. His panting became one long, hiccuping whine. His head remained turned, staring behind him, and Ingo was struck by what he'd yelled at Khan in anger so long ago, and yet so recently.

“You have no idea what it's like to have a family you can't return to!”

Khan, of all of their companions, absolutely did. This… this was why his reaction had been so strong, why Nana and Mnesomyne both had stepped in to stop Khan from assaulting - perhaps even killing - Ingo.

This is why she sent me here.

Ingo looked down at the Zorua again. Khan seemed to be frozen in place, but the wind around them was moving leaves and leftover smoke. It was only Khan who was frozen, unable to look away from his slaughtered family.

“I'm sorry,” Ingo said quietly, placing his hands around Khan's body as if he could actually hold him, “I'm so sorry.”

[get-more-bald]

the fuck do you mean I have to leave....