#SERIOUSLY THO WHAT THE HELL

[dan-crimes]

Splatoon 3 be like Oh you're winning games? You're having fun with people at your same level with good teammates against good enemies? Good weapon synergy that allows you to play backline? HA! NOT ANYMORE FUCKER! HERE! Have the worst teams you've ever had in ur life with enemies who also suck but are still slightly better than the rest of ur team, watch as they all run in and DIE over and over and over again and never do anything different and watch as they NEVER KILL A SINGLE ENEMY unless by literal ACCIDENT and watch as NONE OF THEM DO THE FUCKING OBJECTIVE SO MY SUPPORT WEAPON IS LEFT USELESS and watch as ur team NEVER FUCKING PROTECTS YOU WHEN YOU HAVE THE RAINMAKER and then you go and change ur weapon and NOW SUDDENLY UR TEAM NEEDS YOU TO PLAY BACKLINE WHEN UR A FRONTLINE WEAPON or ur team need to INK THE FUCKING GROUND bcuz no one can fuckin MOVE ANYWHERE and you switched off that weapon as well and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO HELL HELL HELL WE HATE YOU FUCK YOU !!!

[crescentlyautumn]

You know what’s funny? How I can say that I headcanon a character as somewhere on the ace spectrum and/or aro spectrum, and within minutes I am being treated as if I am somehow very unintelligent and know nothing of the world.

[lilirot]

[prettybbychim]

[this became much longer than i intended whoops]

u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.

build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.

just to take it all away

that’s war.

but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc

there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.

they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?

do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?

for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.

so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil

in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.

we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol

on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.

capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)

ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)

ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol

chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name

boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know

the losses are extreme

fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here

we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far

and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.

we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)

also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.

traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)

instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.

the incandescent ode of resurrection

among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again

chuychu perhaps? 👀 pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—

now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)

ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…

oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo

plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.

except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.

bittersweet

mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.

what does she do now?

what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice

what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.

it’s time to learn how to live.

the end~

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

exploding hammers

[your-unfriendlyghost]

ohhh god I think my brain’s broken or somethin cos at the sight of all the goddamn 9hr shift Saturdays and 4.5hr shift Sundays in my near future I legit bawled. Like I don’t DO that ok that is WEIRD for me. I miss having weekends. I should be BEING A TEENAGER ON SATURDAYS not standing in a small space for NINE HOURS

I genuinely think this is gonna be what makes me lose it

[xxplastic-cubexx]

thinkin bout magneto's lil list of aliases from that One Shot of his government file or w/e in 97 and how it lists the three main men who've played him (David Hemblen, Ian McKellen, Michael Fassbender) and kinda cackling at the idea 1.) if they included All his names 2.) having 'michael' on that list twice

[supercalime]

As promised, my meme contribution

[cartoocifer]

NOT TO MENTION DEVIL MADE THE RULES HIMSELF, STICKLER JUST ENSURES THEY’RE ENFORCED!

My guy you are the ruler of Hell and yet you let this guy boss you around? If you hate the rules so much why don’t you just change them? You wrote them yourself! Someone message Deeki Deke and get his opinion on this.

Me watching MagiCat’s ranking video on the Cuphead Show villains: Oh, neat. Wonder where he ranks The Devil? :)

MagiCat explaining why he has The Devil only at #7: Why does the Stickler guy hold power over him exactly? He could just say “Screw it”, and go murder Cuphead and his entire family!

Me: Hey, you know what? That’s actually a good point. Why DOES Stickler hold so much power over The Devil? They never really explain that in the show. I’ll just add that to the list of questions The Cuphead Show never really answered, and why it needs to be renewed for another season or so.

[vaguely-concerned]

*tears streaming down my face* how the FUCK did we start at 'pulling ken's dream house out of kremy's ass' and end up at this

[musicalmoritz]

Hi, we’re going to see this scene animated in January

I’m going to scream

[ivys-garden]

Please enjoy this hobbled together meme, based on an image that flashed into my head at 3am as I fell out of my bed and onto the floor.

[reminding-you-of-twilight]

I know the watcher situation is bad and all, and theres alot to criticise, but look at how funny the recommended emojis under Stevens' instagram post talking about it is 😭😭😭

[vinntea]

Yall. When I say the doomed yuri in Land of the Lustrous is cooked to perfection I mean. The doomed yuri. In this manga. Is STEAMED, GRILLED, STIRRED, FRIED, BAKED, ROASTED, AND C O O K E D. TO.

P E R F E C T I O N .

[poems-of-a-lover]

will never be over this honestly

[whatacreepything]

tiktok gays when they go in public and see gay people being gay instead of discussing the latest microlabel discourse that was posted from an account called bobthebuildersbignaturals