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#Ryan feels so random to me
hssprimefan · 1 day
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I made some charts
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Here’s data of most of the different dialogue changes in high school story based on dating. Mia’s is a little odd; read the methodology lol
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In the gay graph I’m using the word gay loosely, not making definitive claims about characters sexualities. I also exclude the MC from that data. I was just curious about the proportions of ships pixelberry predicted us players would have.
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In most cases there’s way more dialogue for the MC dating someone than other possible couples. 17 quests where it matters if you’re dating Payton! I was actually surprised to see how little is actually done with the Autumn love triangle.
Methodology:
I only include a couple once per quest, even if they have multiple moments together in the same quest. I only include a quest once, even if there’s multiple files for it (like many seasonal ones). I don’t include dialogue for dating a random classmate (for example the heartthrob helpquest changes slightly if you are dating the heart throb).
I didn’t include code that just asked if a character was dating someone in general , with one exception: in prim_0052_wicked.lua there’s a command that changes dialogue if both Sakura and Nishan are dating someone. Based on the dialogue I made a judgement call and treated this as an example of Sakura and Nishan together.
I do include any time dialogue is triggered by 2 named characters dating, for example if Koh is dating Kallie.
In The Final Talley, there’s a requirement to send someone you’re MC is dating on a quest, and there is unique dialogue if certain main characters were sent. I include these too. I looked for other examples of this using the fandom wiki as a guide, but found none.
You may notice Max and Nick are on this list too despite not going to your school. That’s because the game remembers if you’ve played photobooth quests and changes some dialogue based on that. I had to include them because of Mia. Of the 11 times I counted dialogue changes based on Mia and the MC dating, 7 were based on if they are currently dating and 4 are based on weather you’ve completed her date quest.
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mischiefbuckley · 1 month
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I feel like I’m very annoying at times lol so thanks to anyone that follows me and enjoys my posts and all the reblogs on my current hyperfixation that is 911/buddie/oliver/ryan… y’all are truly the real ones so yeah thank you thank you thank you super sweet I’ve never felt this type of love/kindness in any of the other fandoms I’ve been in so it truly means a lot to me and again I am super excited for season 8 and to continue with my random thoughts 🥹
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nynnph0 · 2 months
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Doomed yuri :broken-heart:
I'll make a coloured ref sheet of her soon,, maybe
beta design for gb Ryan
I don't like it so i redid it lol
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godsworstson · 2 months
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im so deranged i just checked my astrological compatibility with the jackass guys
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noirtek · 4 months
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very very sad that i wasted so much of my teenage years waiting to be attractive enough to just do normal things like i convinced myself i wasn’t fuckable enough to go to local shows. i genuinely thought i was too ugly to volunteer at the library that’s so crazy. i know that’s like notoriously the time for insecurity to peak but my god i acted like i was a bridge troll
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i just remembered i do actually own night in the woods on itchio. i have never played that game before but i know for a FACT at least a couple of my friends love it very much. potential stream game for fall????? :]
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oc3anic-ang3l · 9 months
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just purged through more than a ton of my posts. felt amazing.
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panstovoid · 1 year
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The fact that mystery files is just Shane and Ryan talking about like that one really weird or silly event just makes the true crime genre a little bit brighter.
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1980ssunflower · 1 year
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i desperately need ryan kisses rn :-c
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frecklystars · 10 months
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I love to imagine all of my Ryan F/Os sitting in a little room in my head and chilling out and hanging out with each other. Even the ones I haven't "met" yet (movies I haven't seen but will eventually)
You know that meme from the office "I love inside jokes. Would love to be a part of one someday"? Well it's Holland March and Jacob Palmer being impatient for me to finally enter their universe. "We love our girlfriend Keri. Would love to actually meet her someday"
#love notes#💕♬♪ ♡☆ You're my favorite song - ̗̀ ♡🔍🧡🌟♡ ̖́-#💕♬♪ ♡ It feels different when you're with me - ̗̀☆🥂🖤✨☆ ̖́-#Ken saying to Colt 'COLT MY BRO you're SO SPECIAL'#'Keri must LOVE you since you're here in this room with us! you're her BF and she hasn't even been to ur dimension yet!!!!'#and Colt's like HAHA SO COOL BRO 👍 and Ken's like TOTALLY SO COOL 👍👍#meanwhile Holland and Jacob are like WHERE IS MY GIRLFRIEND????#I MISS MY WIFE I'VE NEVER MET????? WE KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS KERI GIRL#i like to think my F/Os feel connected to me/in love with me even before we meet. when they're in the room together#so they're like. i love her so much. but also i've never seen her face to face#i think holland is more patient tho he's just vibing. he's like wow free drinks and snacks in this room hell yeah bitch#or maybe he wouldnt say hell yeah bitch. sorry ive watched a lot of breaking bad im thinking of jesse#anyway jacob's checking his watch every 5 mins saying WHERE'S KERI? WHERE'S MY GIRL? MY STAR GIRL?#and ken is like :) she's been in my dimension 70 times bc im the most specialist boi. im her favorite everyone remember that#Driver and Luke and Six are all comparing their barcode tattoos#they're like wow we all have the same wrist tattoo. crazy random happenstance.#we also have similar voices and similar noses and eyes and height and build!#hahaha but let's not think about that too hard! :)#i have this scenario in my head where ken looks at colt#and he's like! oh god! keri's gonna forget all about me! look at THIS handsome guy! i cant compete!!!!#he looks like ryan gosling!#and then six turns to him and says quietly... 'ken we ALL look like ryan gosling'#love notes: holland ♡#love notes: jacob ♡
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marvelslittlewhore · 9 months
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Hands Off
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REQUEST | protective rafe? like maybe theyre at a party and the reader gets into some trouble? LOVE UR WRITINGG
PAIRING | bf!rafe cameron x kook!fem!reader
WARNINGS | non-con touching (not by rafe ofc), drinking, protective!rafe
A/N | thank you!! I hope this is what you wanted haha 💕
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You were having the time of your life, just dancing and drinking, distracting yourself from the current family drama that was going on at home. Tonight you forbid yourself to think about any of it and Rafe was more than happy to help you out with that.
Right now you were practically grinding against him, your arms reaching up to wrap around his neck to pull him into a heated kiss. When he pulled back you were about to take another sip from your cup, frowning when you realized it was empty.
"I'll be right back." You shouted over the loud music, seeing how he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion so you raised your empty cup to show him.
He then nodded, capturing you lips in another quick kiss, watching you leave the dance floor. He turns to chat with Topper and Kelce to kill the time you weren't pressed against him.
You just finished filling your cup when you felt a hand snake around your waist. Smiling you turned around and were about to tease Rafe for being clingy. What you didn't expect was some random idiot you recognized from school, Ryan, when you remembered correctly.
"You're Y/n, right?" He asked and you nodded taking a step to the side so he wasn't touching you anymore.
You grabbed another empty cup to fill up for Rafe, and to avoid this awkward situation, hoping Ryan would get the message and just leave you alone.
Oh how wrong you were.
"Would you like to dance?" he tested the waters, grabbing the cup from your hands to fill it for you as if you're not capable yourself.
"Sorry, I'm not interested-" You quickly turned him down, reaching out to take the cup back but he held it away from your reach.
Either he's incredibly brave or stupid. You and Rafe were the kook couple from the outer banks. The island prince and princess who attend every event or party hand in hand.
"Come on, just one dance, then I'll leave you alone," he smirked.
You cringed on the inside, looking around for any sign of Rafe, or even Topper, cursing under your breath but still smiling like always and trying not to show how uncomfortable you actually were.
"I have a boyfriend." You said, expecting him to now awkwardly walk away but you're startled when he suddenly pulled you against him.
"I don't see him, you?" he whispered and now you were starting to panic, your heart pounding like crazy.
"You better take your fucking hands off my girl before I'll break them." Rafe's sudden voice had you sighing in relief.
Ryan quickly let go of you and you took a few steps back, bumping into Topper who pulled you behind him.
"What? You were all cocky a few seconds ago, what happened?" Rafe laughed, throwing his arm around Ryan's shoulder. "How about we go outside, hm? Have a nice chat?" he emphasized the word 'nice' with a quick raise of his eyebrows.
"I didn't-" he started to apologize but Rafe just dragged him away and outside with Kelce following right behind them.
You wanted to go after them but Topper stood in front of you, blocking your way out. "Whoa, don't worry about them, they'll be back soon."
"Top, we both know he won't go easy on him. Let me just-" You walked past him and he grabbed your arm, turning you back to face him.
"And he won't go easy on me either when he finds out I let you go and witness it." he reminded you and you rolled your eyes, fixing your dress and trying to brush off the uneasy feeling you have in your chest while Topper eyes you with genuine concern. "You good?"
"Mhm, just a little shaken up. I'm alright," you assured him.
You looked around, seeing Rafe coming back inside rubbing his knuckles while walking towards you. He was breathing heavily, and you reached up to fix a few strains of his hair.
Looking down at his hands you gasped softly, seeing how bruised his knuckles were. "Rafe..."
"Hey, I'm okay, you should see him," he smirked proudly and you hit his chest before burying your face in it.
He wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head before asking. "Are you okay?"
You just nodded against him, holding onto his polo shirt to ground yourself. Rafe looks down at you and knows the night was done for. The only thing you wanted right now was laying in bed with him holding you close.
"Wanna go home?" he asked and the second you nodded he said quick goodbyes to his friends, leading you outside to his truck.
He helps you in and closes the door for you, rushing to get into the driver's side, starting the car, and turning onto the road. He places his hand on your thigh, squeezing it for reassurance.
"I love you." You told him, taking his hand in yours tightly.
"I love you more, baby." he flashed you a smile, kissing the back of your hand and focusing back on the road.
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Taglist
For everything:
@lokigirlszendaya @buckymydarlingangel @superlegend216
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cryolyst · 2 years
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~
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moonxknightx · 2 months
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : THE FACE BEHIND THE MASK : :;
╰┈➤ ❝ [PAIRING] ❞ Wade Wilson x F!Reader
・❥・GENRE: Fluff :))
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆FANDOM: X-Men
ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: None!
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥SUMMARY: After months of dating Wade Wilson, you ask him to show his face, promising that his scars won't change your love. Despite his fears, Wade reveals himself, and you reassure him that he is beautiful just the way he is.
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LIVING NEXT TO WADE WILSON HAD ALWAYS BEEN AN ADVENTURE. From the random explosions at odd hours (he called them "enthusiastic cooking attempts") to the incessant chatter that came from his side of the paper-thin walls, there was never a dull moment. Somehow, despite all the madness, you'd become fast friends. He’d wormed his way into your life with his never-ending supply of sarcasm, absurd humor, and unexpected kindness.
And then, somehow, you’d started dating. It wasn't the conventional type of dating—nothing was conventional with Wade. He’d whisk you away on spontaneous adventures that ranged from fighting ninjas ("It's like cardio, but with more blood!") to watching rom-coms while he provided his own colorful commentary.
But there was one thing that had never happened in those months. You had never seen his face. Sure, you'd seen his mouth, his jaw, the occasional glimpse of his eyes through the mask, but never the whole thing. He was always careful to keep the mask on, only slipping it off when he was sure you weren't looking.
At first, you hadn't pushed it. You knew about his past, the pain he'd endured, and how self-conscious he was about his appearance. But as your feelings for him deepened, so did your curiosity. It wasn't just about seeing the man behind the mask—it was about connecting with him fully, scars and all.
One night, after a particularly wild date that ended with Wade hog-tying a group of particularly rude henchmen ("They were asking for it! Literally, they asked if I could teach them some knots!"), you both collapsed on your bed, breathless and laughing.
"Wade," you said, once your giggles had subsided. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, but if it's about why I wear red, the answer is 'because it hides the bloodstains.' And also, it makes my butt look fantastic."
You chuckled, shaking your head. "No, it’s not that. I was just wondering... why don’t you ever show me your face?"
The room grew quiet, the only sound the faint hum of traffic outside. Wade’s usual banter was noticeably absent, and you could sense the shift in his mood.
"Oh, you know," he began, his tone a little too casual, "it’s just that I’m devastatingly handsome, and I don’t want you to fall even more in love with me. Also, there’s the possibility that you’ll look at me and your eyes will literally explode from the sheer beauty. It’s a risk, really. For your safety."
You reached out, gently placing your hand on his. "Wade, I know you're joking, but I also know this is hard for you. I don’t care about your scars. I care about you."
He hesitated, his fingers tightening slightly around yours. "I just... I don’t want you to see me and then regret everything. I’m not exactly Ryan Reynolds under here."
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. "Well, good, because I’m not exactly Blake Lively."
He snorted, finally looking at you. "She wishes she was as cool as you."
Taking a deep breath, Wade sat up and reached for the edge of his mask. "Okay, but if you scream, I'm outta here. And I’m taking all the pizza."
"I promise not to scream," you said, your voice soft. "And I’m keeping the pizza."
With a final sigh, Wade peeled off the mask, revealing the man beneath it. His face was covered in scars, the skin rough and uneven, a far cry from the smooth, unblemished look he used to have. His eyes, however, were the same—warm, mischievous, and full of vulnerability.
You didn’t say anything at first, just took him in. Then, slowly, you reached out, tracing the lines of his face with your fingers. He flinched at first, but as you continued, his muscles began to relax.
"You’re beautiful," you whispered, meaning every word.
Wade rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Sure, if by 'beautiful' you mean 'looks like an avocado had a passionate affair with a much older, uglier avocado.'"
You laughed, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. "No, I mean you’re beautiful because you’re you. And I love you. All of you."
For a moment, Wade was silent, his usual stream of jokes and quips nowhere to be found. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it. "You really mean that?"
"I do."
He pulled you into his arms, holding you close. "Well, in that case, I guess you’re stuck with me. Scars, bad jokes, and all."
"Wouldn’t have it any other way."
You spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms, the world outside forgotten. As you traced the lines of his face, memorizing every scar, Wade made a few more self-deprecating jokes, but they lacked the usual sting. Instead, they were softer, more playful, as if he was finally starting to believe that you could see beyond the surface.
As the night went on, your hands continued their gentle exploration, and Wade's breathing grew steady and calm. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly at peace, his heart no longer burdened by the fear of rejection.
And as you lay there, his head resting against your chest, you knew that no matter what, you would always find him beautiful—because beauty, you realized, was more than skin deep.
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I fucking LOVE Wade!
I’m going to make a taglist for deadpool content! If you like to be added, let me know! 🫶
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chriscamopants · 2 months
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I mean it // homewrecker Matt
Summary: in which Matt is only friends with a guy because he really wants his girlfriend…
Author’s notes: I do not condone cheating, nor is it an acceptable thing to do to anyone, so again if you don’t like it, don’t read it. However, if Matt Sturniolo came up to me one day and offered to steal me away from a current boyfriend… I would not hesitate to take my clothes off on the spot. I rest my case.
Warnings: smut . cheating plot . degradation . praise dom Matt x sub fem reader . mentions of drinking + smoking . mentions of drugs . hair pulling if you squint
“She wears a ring? Came through without it, you really think she stays true? I doubt it, because I am fucking your girlfriend and there’s nothing you can do about it” - I mean it, G-Eazy
‘Yeah but Matt’s a dick…’
You shrug at your friend’s pointed comment, swishing around the last half of the strange alcoholic mixer that had been thrust into your hand the minute you had walked through the door.
Both of you stand to the side of the noisy, open living room area whilst your backs lean against the cold wallpaper of some rich kid’s penthouse.
‘Yeah… I know’
‘I could literally list all of the things wrong with him on my fingers and I would run out of them. I don’t even know why your boyfriend chooses to be friends with him’. She continues, taking a sip of her own drink whilst you stare off into the distance, mostly looking over to the opposite side of the room where a ping pong table has been set out and both the boyfriend in question and Matt - the subject of your degrading conversation - are playing in a heated game of beer pong.
‘I’m not sure either’
‘He’s a womaniser with literally no respect for anyone around him, he’s a narcissist, and he’s just constantly rude to people.’ She continues to rant aimlessly, her very large hoop earrings jingling as she shakes her head and denies someone who was offering her a selection of ecstasy pills on a silver platter.
The person doesn’t seem to care for the denial and instead shrugs his shoulders before moving on to pester the next highly intoxicated person, coaxing them into falling even more inebriated by placing the tempting round pill into the palm of their open hand.
She then starts again, waving her hands about dramatically whilst you secretly get lost in your own thoughts.
‘You should have heard what he said the other day about a random girl who passed us on the sidewalk, if I-’ but then her voice slowly fades into the distance the more you focus in on Ryan, who stands next to a Matt that cheers him on whilst he aims a ping pong ball up to throw it into one of the cups opposite them.
Matt wears a baggy dark green zip up hoodie that looks almost black in the flashing red LED lights of the room as weed smoke blows up into the air in thick plumes, like tiny little volcanos releasing their clouds of ash.
Suddenly, your heart squeezes strangely and you find yourself beginning to blush in embarrassment when Matt senses someone staring at him and so flicks his eyes over to you. He has his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets and wears a cheeky little smile on his face that puckers even more after he deflects his eyes to the back of Ryan’s head. He then looks back at you and makes a face, as if to playfully scold you for staring.
You bet he finds all of this so funny. The fact that you are looking at him instead of Ryan.
It immediately makes you feel bad, because you know that if you bump into Matt later tonight, he is most definitely going to bring this up just to tease you about it. However, something within the look of his eyes makes you inwardly squirm. Or maybe it’s the way his smirk suites his face so attractively…
But then you come to the conclusion that it is neither of those things, because what it really is, is the way he inconspicuously lifts his middle and pointer fingers up to split them at either side of his mouth and 'scratch his face’ whilst making direct eye contact with you.
He’s got a pair of fucking balls to innocently mimic the dirty joke of eating someone out, you’ll give him that. Whether it is intentional or not, it still makes you screw up your face in disgust and avert your eyes, to which Matt smiles in victory before re-joining the conversation that is being shared around the ping pong table at his end.
His lower half isn’t visible as he stands behind a Ryan that holds a cup in his hand already whilst his other one lets go of a white ball. Everyone watches it bounce to the other side of the table before it neatly splashes into one of the opposition’s cups.
People cheer for Ryan whilst the other random guy groans with his head thrown back. He playfully points at Ryan and Matt, saying something before he swipes up the shot and knocks it back with a screwed up face of disgust.
They’re probably all drinking the equivalent of burning gasoline in those vile, non-diluted drinks. And judging by the way Matt and Ryan have polished off quite a few of the cups on their side already, it’s clear that they must have come to get absolutely shit-faced at this party.
You secretly roll your eyes and nod along as you hum, pretending to listen to a word your friend is saying before another random girl who - your guess, knows her - comes up to chat.
This gives you an excuse to slip out of her eye-line.
Matt.
Aka, the asshole of all assholes, however… also more fondly known as ‘your boyfriend’s best friend’.
It’s not like what your friend says isn’t true, because all of it is. He is a womaniser, he is a narcissist, and he most definitely is disrespectful to everyone most of the time. In fact, Matt sometimes scares you. You don’t like opening your mouth in front of him at all, nor should anyone else, because no matter what is being said, he’ll still manage to be rude about it.
To say he is a fucking bully is an understatement. He’s the kind of person that will snigger at a guy in glasses and whisper about his appearance after he has passed by to his friends or trip up someone in the school hallways ‘by accident’, only to then watch their folders go flying for the fun of it. He is mean and unpleasant, and quite frankly a terrible influence on Ryan.
Plus, annoyingly, as your friend also points out, Matt loves girls, and he loves the attention he receives from them, because he knows he’s hot. Which doesn’t bother you at all, because you’re with Ryan. But what does concern you however, is that more often than not, you catch Matt looking at you in ways that clearly shouldn’t be allowed, especially since he knows that you are taken. No less taken by his best friend.
They are subtle, and he always immediately looks away after you catch him, but usually with no regret in his eyes and sometimes even with little conniving smirks on his face as though you are both sharing a little inside joke.
Ryan is as clueless as ever of course, he trusts too many people, and only ever really sees the best in Matt. He refuses to believe that Matt could be using his friendship for something else entirely. Because unfortunately, sometimes guy are only friends with other guys because they really want their girlfriends.
And lately… Matt has been absolutely oozing those vibes. Sometimes, you get inwardly pissed at Ryan for not realising the obvious signs, because Matt really doesn’t make it discreet. At all.
It always starts with the stupid shit like looking over at his phone whilst he’s texting Matt to arrange a hang out time, only to see Matt replying with an oh-so-innocent ‘oh cool, will ur gf be there?’ as a sneaky way of making sure that you’ll be around.
Either that or it’s him making blatantly flirty remarks, right in front of Ryan.
Stupidly… most of the time all of these go over Ryan’s head and you just have to roll your eyes at him.
The other thing that also leads you to this conclusion is the very worrying fact that you know Matt has a clear track record of being a notorious homewrecker. It’s like… his thing.
He loves pursuing something that people tell him is actually out of his reach. He loves being able to feel like he can touch the untouchable. And here he is, best friends with Ryan, but only because Ryan has a girlfriend… you.
Someone that he maybe- possibly? To your recollection… wants to fuck.
But that’s just your take on it, and it might not even be true, who knows what actually goes on in the complicated weave of Matt’s mind.
Heading further into the haze of the party, you stroll about, practically choking on the smell of sweat, perfume, nicotine and weed. Not to mention the fact that you almost get crushed in between the grinding body parts of people as their skin brushes and presses up against your own.
You trip up on your feet a couple of times and find it pretty hard to breathe in amongst all of the party goers as you barge your way through the claustrophobically intense crowd that flashes generic neon party colours of red, blue and green from the installed lights above.
Your ears ring and your head thumps at the sound of the tasteless rap music still playing, so you decide to do what any normal person would and go up the stairs to find an unoccupied room where you can just lie down and have some peace and quiet. You’re sure the guy throwing this rager has a couple to spare, even if in some of them people have already gone to fuck.
You’re not too drunk to have lost your grip on what is actually going on around you… you can still think straight, however, you’re not exactly stone cold sober either. So, you wobble your way up the stairs and then walk along the corridor, having to try a few rooms before finding a nice empty one.
Sitting down on the plush double bed you sigh. However, in your intoxicated state, you don’t quite realise that the light to the bathroom suite is on and that someone else is also shuffling around on the other side of the door.
Who that someone is, is only made apparent to you after the bathroom door unlocks and he comes stepping out whilst flicking off the light switch.
You quite literally freeze, and part of you thinks you get so much of a fright that you sober up a little when you gaze upon a full bodied Matt standing in the darkened doorway of the bathroom.
Oh…
Matt looks equally as caught off-guard as you as he narrows his eyes.
‘What are you doing in here?’ You stupidly announce, as if it is your own private room that he is in. He rolls his eyes and scoffs, his usual clipped tone being exercised on you as he responds with a sharp ‘I’m just looking around, jesus it’s not like it’s your bathroom’.
You gulp and shake your head in understanding, inwardly scolding yourself on the idiocy of what you had just said. Trying not to stumble upon your words the next time around you keep your eyes trained on him as he marches across the room to have a nose at some of the pictures hanging up on the walls. Now, your hands are shakily white knuckling the bedsheets… fuck, you can’t just leave! That would be weird.
You don’t have to start speaking again however, because Matt does it for you.
‘So why are you up here by yourself? Thought you would have been begging for Ry’s attention by now’. You can feel his smirk through the back of his fucking head.
Pretty much everything that comes out of this man’s mouth makes your blood sear hotly within your veins. Who the fuck does he think he is to say something like that about you?
‘Well I’m not am I?’
This is the only good comeback you can manage to think of and bite back in the time that he gives you. He is already starting to make your hands shake with nervousness.
His back is turned, but he always somehow manages to command your attention.
‘Yeah I guess so’ he shrugs, but then starts an annoying chuckle as he suddenly looks over his shoulder at your body sitting meekly on the bed, his jawline still as sharp as ever and protruding from his neck. ‘Seems like instead you’re looking for my attention then huh?’.
The quipped hum that travels from his throat makes you flush a cherry pink, and you struggle to keep up with his wit since you get nervous about the way he looks at you and the way he commands himself. ‘Oh really, and what gave you that impression?’. But immediately after you say this you wish you could take it back, because Matt swivels on his feet as though you had walked directly into a trap of his own making.
Which to be honest, you kind of had…
‘Well for one, you’re in here… with me. And two, you just couldn’t seem to keep your eyes off of me earlier… and that’s not really supposed to be what loving girlfriends do’ he pouts his lips and tilts his head meanly, already psychologically bullying you because of how much you had looked at him earlier at the ping pong table in comparison to Ryan.
This time you directly roll your eyes at him and decide to get back up from your position on the bed. At least now you feel like you’re not at a loss for power due to the height difference. You don’t like the way that it’s too easy for him to completely tower over you from your spot on the patterned bed covers.
You can tell that Matt is also a little tipsy based off of the way he sways a little as he stands still, but just like yourself, it’s not enough alcohol to make him completely lose his grip on reality and who you are. So why is it, that he looks at you as though you are a hunk of fresh meat up for grabs?
Suddenly he looks away, taking a deep breath and reaching his hand to the nightstand next to the bed. He swipes up the book resting on top of it, and then slowly reads out the title of the classical novel. ‘The Lover’s Den… it’s one of those must reads isn’t it?’ He asks, still with the added patronising tone that never fails to tick you off.
Your skin feels itchy, and you want nothing more than to run out of this room and away from Matt’s presence, because his attitude really affects you in the strangest of ways. ‘Sure I guess…’ you shift awkwardly, trying to keep your answers as brief as possible.
You wish he would just put the book down, but instead he flips it around and starts to read the blurb.
‘An erotic romance filled with dark twists and a lover’s secret…’.
As he speaks these words your heart plummets into your ass. Next come his hooded eyes that flick up to yours and narrow impishly.
Please just let this be over.
You don’t want to be around Matt any more than you can help it, for conflicting reasons. If before you weren’t sure if whether or not he wanted to fuck you, now you’re pretty much certain he did.
You just hate the way that he is so critical about you, and how he can easily make you feel shy and embarrassed about yourself.
Matt is really attractive, almost unfairly attractive, which just makes you feel sick to your stomach about how often your feelings fight with one another when discussing the concepts of right and wrong. Because you shouldn’t be thinking about that at all, especially when you’re in a supposedly “loving” relationship with Ryan- that transforms into a less loving relationship with every single step Matt takes to get to your heaving figure.
By now he has dropped the book and it’s flopped quietly back down onto the mattress, the suggestive pages of the erotica long forgotten by Matt in favour of him getting to what he really wants… you.
‘Aren’t you a little tired of your relationship?’ He gently starts, as if trying to take on the tone of some kind of marriage counsellor. Your heart squeezes as little paper butterflies make their way around the step ladders of your rib cage.
Oh fuck, how the hell are you supposed to respond to that?
You end up simply keeping your lips sealed in shock. Instead, you opt to nervously gulp a drop of your saliva down your scratchy throat as one of your feet naturally takes a step back from his advancing body.
‘Maybe you want to explore a little before you tie any proper knots with your boyfriend no…?’
Matt has reached you now, and as a natural reaction you simply freeze in your spot of one foot stepped behind the other, your heart still galloping and your eyes blinking up at him widely.
As you begin to stutter, Matt’s mouth peels up into a satisfied smirk with his jawline sharp and his hot breath dispersing directly onto your face because of just how close he is. In fact, he’s so close that you can see the small little pores where his dark stubble grows in to shape his beard.
‘Y’know I like exploring too… a lot…’
His voice reduces to nothing more than a mere whisper now as his face gets incomprehensibly closer to yours. Your hands lay limp by your sides, that is, until Matt slowly gravitates his veined ones forward to pinch your softer skin in between his rougher, more masculine grip whilst his thumbs rub temptingly over the flesh that conjoins your pointer fingers to your thumbs.
Your breath is shaky and audible as Matt falls into a hushed quiet, taking your own silence as permission to press his lips against yours.
Something within your brain sounds a shrieking siren that screams ‘RYAN! RYAN! RYAN!’ Over and over again as Matt’s soft lips enclose over yours with a gentle victory that he treats cautiously at first. He’s buttering you up with his tender caresses and soothing voice, knowing exactly how to play to your weaknesses since he’s had practice at swinging sledgehammers at other people’s happy relationships before.
But, unfortunately for Matt, the little nagging voice of Ryan inside of your head succeeds.
Bile almost rises in your throat as reality comes to slap you in the face. You’re knocked out of Matt’s bewitching trance and are absolutely horrified as to what you are doing with him whilst your boyfriend is most likely located just down the stairs from the two of you.
Ripping yourself away, you jump back in terror and leave Matt to open his eyes and blink them, his lips already swollen with arousal before his hand comes up to smoosh against them in a vampiric manner. He then rubs away any saliva that might have oozed from out of his mouth as though he were swiping away blood.
Shaking your head in silence, you once again have practically no words to utter and instead spin on your heels. Making a beeline straight to the door, you leave Matt’s sexual aura behind, his presence and strong smell of aftershave still polluting your nose and playing with your senses before you grasp a hold of the doorknob and slip outside.
However, regrettably, you don’t leave Matt standing alone in the centre of the room for long, because as quickly as you had closed the door right in his face, you are shyly cracking it back open again and sliding into the room with a guilty grimace once more.
Matt only stands there with his arms crossed and a smug fucking smile on his face, the dim bedside table lamp lighting up both of your complexions with a yellowish lustre. It’s as if he knew that you wouldn’t be gone for long - which to be fair, was right - but it still irked you to admit it.
With a final swallow, you put a signature on an imaginary infidelity contract whilst standing meekly a couple of strides away from him. Fiddling with your hands self-consciously, you voice a curious but soft ‘tell me more…’.
Matt’s shoulders rise and his chest expands with a satisfied sigh, knowing that he has won and absolutely loving it in the process.
Walking up to you, his feet pad quietly on the carpet whilst your breaths once again mingle with one another. Regrettably, you feel now that the heartbeat is not just within your chest, but also in between your legs as Matt easily slips his body around to your back.
He exhales another gentle sigh, now a cool air hitting the side of your neck and making you shiver whilst his chest presses against your shoulder blades. Taking your hands within his once again, he now does something that makes you screw your eyes shut and completely mentally kick yourself because of how much you enjoy it.
Pressing his flat palms over the tops of your hands, he splays them onto the bottom of your thighs before sensually sliding his fingers into the slots between yours. Then, he starts dragging both of your hands up each of your thighs, making sure that you can feel as much as he can underneath the pads of your fingertips whilst he breathes into your ear and expands his chest along your back.
‘Hm… I also like a lot of touching…’ he whispers into your ear before nudging it with his nose.
The more you let him guide both of your hands, the closer they get to your now throbbing centre as they slip up your tender inner thighs. But before you two touch it, he expertly manoeuvres them back out to the sides.
Once again, the sensation of your boyfriend’s malicious best friend touching you without him knowing catches up to you and you accidentally freak out.
Jumping away slightly you shake your head and this time move further into the room rather than sprinting back out of the door again.
You begin to pace.
Matt looks at you as though he has the praying eyes of a panther, predatory instincts kicking in as soon as you move away from him.
Smacking his lips in annoyance he raises his eyebrows sassily at you, his earrings glinting in the small stream of light and glittering every time they wobble when he moves.
Making up your mind and making it up quickly, you throw your whole entire relationship built up on trust into the trash as you stutter out a pathetic, cheating question that you hope will answer the doubts running around in your head.
‘You won’t tell a fucking soul about this will you?’
Matt raises his eyebrows again to look at you in judgement before substituting his incredulity for a smirk instead. Placing one of his hands over his heart, his other one raises to his head whilst he pledges allegiance to you with a mocking nickname lilted onto the end of the quip for good measure.
‘Cross my heart and hope to die, sweetheart’
With this… somewhat reassurance, you genuinely believe that Matt won’t tell a soul. So, you decide to think like a man… with your clit instead of with your brain, just as they would with their dicks.
‘So… what else do you like?’ You curiously ask, your voice still laced with a huge amount of hesitance, because you know of Matt’s dating history… and based off of some of the horror stories you’ve heard, you’re sure he likes a lot of different things. He doesn’t seem to be the picky type.
But you let Matt answer for himself, and you also let him once again walk back up to you, this time allowing him into your personal space without any fight at all. In fact, you’re actually more responsive to his touch.
He trails his hands around the hem of your jeans, before fiddling with each side of your shirt whilst his seductive eyes mimic his raspy voice.
‘I like things sticky… wet and messy… if it’s not messy I don’t fucking want it’.
His voice is slow, like dripping hot honey coated in sugar. The overall sensual manner of it makes your panties pool and you can practically feel yourself sticking together down at your core. Matt plays on this a little bit more after he sees how much it affects you.
‘Can you do messy baby? With those gorgeous thighs of yours? You wanna be my good girl tonight?’
He pouts boyishly and then tilts his head just that little bit so that he can feather a teasing kiss onto your lips before pulling away.
By now he is standing in the gap between your legs, enough so that when he compliments your thighs he can reach down to them and cup the backs of them, giving them a testing little squeeze.
His nose runs down the arch of your neck to your shoulder as he does this and at the same time, you both test the waters by giving each other an inconspicuous grind. Matt moans slightly into your skin at the erotic motion whilst the scruffy hair by his ear rubs against your jawline.
Throughout all of this dry sex however, he still manages to keep cool and collected. Unlike you, who practically falls to a puddle at his feet. The only thing keeping you up is his big palms supporting your thighs whilst his lips pucker and pepper a sprinkling of small kisses all along your exposed shoulder.
‘You wanna know how I taste don’t you? How I feel’. His voice rasps cheekily whilst referring to his cock. Now it’s your turn to let something of a stuttered whimper out into the air that gets semi-trapped on the way up because of just how far back your neck tilts to let Matt in to your exposed skin. You notice that now, your back is also arched for him and his cock as well. God how needy could you be?
‘I bet you’re just aching to hear what I sound like when you pull my hair…’ he continues his tease, showing you no mercy as your own hands grip and tighten onto each of his shoulders. They tremor in apprehension.
And now, Matt decides, is the best possible time to give you another kiss. Only this time, it’s longer, heavier and thicker with the feelings of lust laced within the twists of his tongue. Matt also lets your thighs go just so that he can grab a hold of each side of your jawline to steady himself better into the kiss.
Just like he had said before, it’s messy, and it’s sloppy. You easily feel the slick consistency of your salivas layering over the fullness of your lips. He rubs his own pair against yours before trapping them and sucking them, his tongue licking slowly over the plump pink flesh.
‘Give me your tongue baby’
He speaks quietly into your lips, pinching your hip bones after he teases his hands underneath your shirt. Clearly wanting you to reciprocate his tongue motions, it doesn’t take you long to do so whilst he gently pushes his nose to nudge against yours. Sensually, he starts to walk backwards.
Bending his knees, he falls down onto the bed and it squeaks underneath his heavy weight before his thighs spread open and he hauls you to sit on top of one of them. You can feel your cheeks burning.
Your eyes are squeezed shut, just to gaslight yourself into believing that you’re not really doing what you’re actually doing.
If you can’t see Matt and see the way you’re perched on top of his thigh as he easily cradles your ass possessively within his hands, then it’s not happening.
After you start to use your tongue more, from Matt’s tilted neck, you hear a throaty hum of delight before he rasps a quick ‘that’s my girl’.
Only your stomach pools with regret. Because you’re actually not his girl. You’re supposed to be Ryan’s.
You try your best to push the thought to the back of your mind however, and instead focus on the way Matt gently starts to apply pressure to each of your ass cheeks, willing them to slide forward, before he moves his thumbs to the front of your hip bones so that he can dig them into your skin and push you back into a grinding motion.
Your breathing is heavy, as is his, but you still continue to kiss, the sounds of your lips erotically moving together being pretty much the only sound in the room until you decide to speak up in response to what he had said earlier.
‘Well it serves Ryan right for being so stupid and not dropping you when he should have…’
Matt sniggers meanly with a toothy smile through your kiss, almost triumphantly at the fact that he had managed to slip past Ryan’s eyes with ease and take you as if it were like taking candy from a baby.
‘Fuck… you’re just as bad as me baby, aren’t you?…’ he muses in surprise, raising his eyebrows teasingly whilst you break away from each other’s kisses just so that he can look into your eyes. His irises flick between the left side of your face to the right, his hands still working you into a soft grind above his thigh whilst he passes his reddened tongue over his moist lips, almost hungrily. You find it within yourself to weakly smirk at his statement.
‘I’ve been waiting to put my hands on you for so fucking long baby, you have no idea’ he mumbles, again with another low and conniving laugh, not even a single thought about how Ryan would feel about all of this travelling through his mind.
Nope. His only concern currently, is how he can’t wait to hear the way you breathe his name through sweat, tears and pleasure as he has you in any way he wants. He feels proud, as if he is finally claiming his prize for being the shittiest friend known to man. But Matt isn’t really a friendly type of guy anyway. So he doesn’t give a shit.
The only thing he had been interested in was you in the first place, all he had needed to do was find a way into your life without making it too obvious that he was trying to steal you right from underneath Ryan’s nose.
Slowly, he slips his hand down to the front of your jeans, swiftly and expertly manoeuvring his fingers to the button so that he can pop it open and yank down the zipper with a desperate speed about him.
‘Shut up Matt… I don’t want to hear you gloating about this’. You whine pathetically, shyly looking down at Matt’s spread legs and the bottom of his green hoodie that currently covers his black belt, just so that you don’t have to look into his eyes.
He scoffs, yourself still not safe from the sharp edge of his tongue. You yelp when he decides to flex his torso and flip you two around.
‘Oh so you’re gonna be a cheeky little bitch about this then hm? Well, maybe you don’t deserve to have my cock…’ the spit he comes out with is ugly and threatening.
You’ll admit… you’re not quite expecting the change in power dynamic, and just the very sight of seeing Matt crawling his body over yours and trapping you with an animalistic look in his eyes makes all of this seem very real. There’s no going back now…
You gulp and blink with doe-like shock whilst Matt hooks his thumbs into your jeans to pull them halfway down your legs.
He sighs. ‘What would you rather me talk about then?’
But you only pant in return, cautiously looking down towards your jeans that are slowly being peeled from your smooth thighs as Matt’s face finds itself extremely attracted to your open neck.
‘Ugh, I don’t know Matt? Just… anything other than Ryan’ you complain, mildly rolling your eyes. Before he can go in to kiss your flesh, Matt catches this and actually snorts a laugh in response, clearly finding your lack of care for your shitty boyfriend highly amusing.
‘Hey, don’t worry, as soon as I’m finished with you the only name you’ll be able to remember is mine…’. Your thighs subconsciously squeeze at this comment, but you can’t quite clamp them together fully because Matt’s hips are in the way. He notices the tension in both of your muscles and so decides to milk it further by leaning his face down closer to yours whilst whispering a gorgeous ‘yeah? You like that?’ that rolls from off of his tongue with ease.
‘Mhm hmm’ you hum in return, trying to keep your mouth closed so that you don’t whine into the air when responding. Matt is clearly happy at this, reaching down one of his hands to his own pants that are fitted nicely around his legs.
He then places his other hand flat on the bed right next to your hip before using it to hoist all of his body weight up so that the hand down by his pants could expertly undo his belt and slip it out from the belt loops.
It’s extremely attractive, to see him towering over you like this just to undo his belt, and you feel your clit throb behind your panties once again when he bites his lip in concentration to get the rest of his pants undone just by using a single hand.
‘I wanna taste you so bad, but we’re gonna have to be quick baby…’ he mumbles to you after both of your attentions are side tracked to the door, where loud voices can be heard as people walk down the corridor and bypass the room. Too many people know who both of you are at this party, so it is risky doing this in here anyway, considering the fact that there is absolutely no lock on the door.
Pushing down his pants, you nod once again to agree with him before gulping at the slivers of his tanned thighs that reveal themselves the further down his jeans drop.
‘How do you wanna have me?’ You speak up timidly, feeling an awful lot like a mouse in the presence of a lion, one wrong move from you and you’re toast. But you decide to play along with Matt, because he seems to like it when you play the clueless game with him.
‘Have you ever had someone’s thigh before princess?’
Matt seems to immediately know what he wants to do to you with how quickly he responds and seems even more delighted at your virginal response of ‘what the fuck does that mean?’.
‘Sweetheart… has Ryan taught you nothing?’ He coos softly, his patronising tone still there whilst he sneakily slips his hands into your panties to pull them down and have cool air hit your centre. He has to bite his lip at the sight of your gushing wetness.
‘Well not really… he’s always sort of wanted to be on top so I’ve just let him…’. At this response, Matt scoffs and shakes his head in disappointment.
‘God Ryan what the fuck are you doing man?’ He quickly mumbles under his breath as if Ryan is in the room with you two before he turns his attention back to your needy figure.
‘I want you to cum all over my thigh angel… think you can do that for me?’ He questions encouragingly, your panties now also half way down your legs and sitting just above your sagged jeans. Your heart flutters and your back arches up once again whilst you hesitate.
Now, the throbbing is turning into a stinging because you haven’t touched yourself at all since this whole encounter has started, so you decide to simply answer with a quick ‘yes Matt, I-I can do that’.
He praises you right after with a sultry ‘that’s my good girl’ before getting up from his position over you and instead sitting down on the edge of the bed beside you.
Sitting upwards a little, you help Matt grab onto you, and his hands practically swallow your sides whilst he stretches you out onto his lap. Moving a little further up onto the bed his cattish eyes gaze up into yours with his pupils dilated and his mouth a blushing red.
Getting you onto a singular thigh, your knees plant on either side of the mattress and sink down softly due to the weight of your upper body. Your sensitivity touches the lower part of his thigh when you press yourself onto him.
Hissing, you whimper slightly in open-mouthed pain whilst your hands claw onto the sleeves of his green-hoodied shoulders.
You look down at the dark haired skin of his powerful muscle, testing the waters of what he’s about to make you do before you hear a low and guttural ‘spit’ violently exhale from his mouth. Glancing back up at Matt you see that he has an expectant look laced within his eyes.
And it doesn’t matter how much your brain screams that this is all terribly wrong, because you still will you mouth to produce an acceptable amount of saliva before knocking your head downwards and letting it all slowly drip from your open mouth.
The thick globule splatters noisily against Matt’s thigh and now Matt finds himself continuously throbbing at the look you give him as the last remnants of your spit linger around your mouth in mid air like a small spider’s web tendril blowing in the wind.
At least, it’s like that until Matt reaches out one of his fingers to whip it away and lick it into his own mouth.
Your saliva glitters in the low lighting and is soon joined by Matt’s own spit after he gathers it into his mouth and also releases it onto his now already lubed up thigh.
‘Fuck angel you are going to love this…’ he muses cockily, grabbing both of your hips within his hands before groaning whilst he lifts you slightly to place your aching and bare centre onto the sticky consistency of your strings of saliva.
Gritting your teeth upon first impact, you have to close your eyes and try not to whimper at the strange sensation Matt’s thigh gifts to you whilst Matt himself looks up at you, proud of what he has made you feel thus far.
He knew you weren’t going to last long at all.
Your face gets very red and very flushed, very fast. As soon as Matt starts to use his hands in a similar way to how he had when you were both clothed, the pressure it brings to your core nearly makes you light headed. You feel so sensitive, and you can hear your spit being spread about his thigh as he tenses his muscle and then relaxes it to give you a perfect pleasure point when rubbing you over it.
You still have your eyes closed, but from the darkness of your vision, you can clearly hear Matt’s smooth voice cooing a gentle ‘open up those pretty little eyes for me…’.
You struggle to do this in between screwing up your face in pleasure, and knocking your head back automatically every time he decides to lift his thigh up a little into the grind so that you can feel it even harder when you ride him. But you slowly manage to peek both of your eyes open ever so slightly.
‘Fuck sake Matt what are you doing to me…’ you breathe out shakily down to him, both of your noses brushing from your position straight above him. After getting used to his motions, you also decide to help him out a little by engaging further and now using your own legs to hoist your harder and faster on his thigh.
‘I’m just doing what Ryan never could…’ he whispers back up to you in a snake-ish manner, knowing how good he’s fucking you and also knowing that it’ll never be the same with Ryan ever again after this. You’re just simply going to want more and more of Matt instead…
‘It would always make me so jealous whenever he put his hands all over you. I swear he did it on purpose just to tease me… and it killed me every time because I so desperately wanted to know what kind of face you’d make if it were my cock stretching you out…’
Whining to him in stimulation once again, your gut flutters and you have to bite your lip to suppress dizzy spells because of how perfectly he’s using his leg.
‘I love feeling you on me like this princess, you feel so fucking good…’ he breathes back up to you in response. ‘I won’t even have to jerk off later because you’re gonna make me cum in my pants’ he continues.
‘But… what about - fuck - giving you a taste?’ You moan into his lips after you start to messily make out with him once again, now both of your lower and upper body halves at work to help you reach your high.
Matt hums a groan in response to this, bucking his hips forward a little in excitement yet still keeping the quick rhythm of his thigh for you.
‘It’s okay, it’s okay, you can let my face have a turn next time’ he utters quickly and without worry, automatically assuming that there’s going to be a next time - which probably is accurate with the rate that this is going at. Yet, it’s still bold of him to assume.
However, most of your thinking is forgotten as you soon feel like you have bypassed a certain point within your build up stage that tells you that you are ready to cum, because it starts to burn in your gut and you feel like you seriously can’t keep quiet at all anymore with whimpers, whines and moans expelling from your mouth into Matt’s.
Uttering something completely inaudible to him, he seems to catch on that you’re close to finishing and so reaches one of his hands up the front of your top to play with one of your tits beneath your bra. This only enlarges the feeling whilst Matt praises you with showers of ‘you’re being such a good girl for me’ and ‘you’re doing so well angel… just a little more’.
The last remnants of his praise are eeked out of him before something within you snaps and a gushing waterfall of pleasure rolls all the way up your gut like some form of ricocheting explosion. You almost cry, and your eyes certainly dampen a little with tears as your mouth drops open.
From below you, Matt admires the sounds of ecstasy tumbling from your lips as you cum.
‘Shhh, shh- shhh, I know baby, I know…’
Whilst he helps you ride out your high, he hushes you gently like a baby, stroking your back and gazing up at you sympathetically, as if it wasn’t just him who had caused your body to react in this astronomically earth shattering way.
‘Jesus pretty, you’ve soaked my thigh…’ he remarks in absolute shock after you wobble your way off of your seat on his leg to crash tiredly next to him onto the bed. You smirk in exhaustion, before your squished lips mumble a ‘yeah well that’s all of what Ryan couldn’t give me, so savour it Matt…’ into the mattress. Matt also snorts, before cleaning up a little bit of your sticky cum and licking it from off of his finger right in front of you.
‘There… I did get to taste you in the end…’ he muses playfully, to which you hide your face into the blanket and groan at what you had just done.
The feeling of realisation after you’ve made a mistake is never a nice one, however, what is as equally concerning is the fact that you don’t seem to care as much as you thought you would have, which sends warning sirens off in your head once again.
You had just cheated on Ryan… but what’s even worse is that you had cheated on him with his so-called ‘best friend’, the same best friend who had coaxed you into cheating with him in the first place.
‘Ryan can’t know about this…’ you croak fearfully into the mattress whilst Matt stands up to put his pants back on properly again.
He spins around to you, his skinny, short figure accentuated in the light as he does his belt back up with a cheeky grin on his face. His hair is fluffy and tussled at the front from when you had carded your hands through it a couple of times whilst you had fucked.
His little chain with a small horse pendant on it also glitters with malice and cockiness at the state he had left you in, crumpled on top of the mattress. God, he’s going to love sneaking around behind Ryan’s back to fuck you, he always gets a free high from playing these kinds of games with people’s heartstrings.
‘Don’t worry… I don’t kiss and tell… plus, keeping it a secret is all part of the fun anyway…’
@gamermattsgf
@sturnobsessedwh0re
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black-lake · 9 months
Text
astro observations 10
Hey -- I miss doing these astro notes, it’s been- years? where have I been? forced into a rat race. I’ve lately been watching a lot of stand up comedies, timeless comedy movies, rush hour, the hangover, you name it, they don’t make shit like this anymore. I’ve also been dealing with saturn transit my 10th house and conjunct my sun fucking up my life. so I got stuff to share.
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⛄︎ Happy capricorn season! I find it ironic that capricorns are hard workers but people don’t work hard in capricorn season, it’s when everybody slows down, enjoys the holidays, reflects and attempts to make new year’s plans. 
Aspects that indicate humor 
☃︎ I said it before and I will say it again, strong mercury-jupiter aspects are the most common in comedians charts, every existing comedian seems to have them conjunct, oppose or square. e.g. Jim Carrey, Kate McKinnon, Kevin Hart (mercury conj jupiter). Chris Tucker, Amy Schumer (mercury square jupiter). Rowan Atkinson, Steve Carell (mercury opp Jupiter).
☃︎ Moon in scorpio or capricorn, top notch dark humor. Chris Tucker, Pete Davidson, Louis C.K. (capricorn moon). Ricky Gervais, Ryan Reynolds, Matthew Perry (scorpio moon). 
☃︎ Moon in gemini or sagittarius, making you laugh at random things, making the small details in life events remarkable and ironic. Sag got that joyful light hearted spirit no matter how sarcastic they get. Bill Burr, John Mulaney (sag moon). Gemini got that chaotic animated twisted humor, can go on endless tangents but you’ll never get bored. Aubrey Plaza, Jim Carrey, and Rowan Atkinson (gemini moon).
☃︎ North node in gemini or sagittarius being a naturally funny storyteller their whole life. I also notice north node in virgo, leo and capricorn in those that pursue public speaking or stand up. 
☃︎ Many comedians or just straight up funny people got MC in gemini, virgo, sagittarius, or leo. 
☃︎ Mercury in aries, leo, gemini, sagittarius, scorpio, capricorn the type of people that tell a basic story but the tone of their voice, choice of words, and the underlying emotion mixed with their perspective and delivery makes it hilarious.
☃︎ Mercury in a fire sign, can be loud, the underlying anger and passion in their voice tone is what makes them funny. Chris Tucker, Kevin Hart and Dave Chappelle all got a leo mercury. Joe List got an aries mercury.
☃︎ Mercury in an air sign, they keep you engaged, animated expressions, great at impressions and mimicking when they tell stories. Trevor Noah is a good example and Jim Carrey (aquarius mercury).
☃︎ Mercury in earth and water, the way they so calmly tell an intense life event story with a straight face and calm demeanor, almost seeming high, a lot of irony and nonchalance. Pete Davidson (scorpio mercury), Ricky Gervais (cancer mercury) and Kate McKinnon (capricorn mercury). 
☃︎ I have mercury conj jupiter in aries and I’m ruled by mercury (gemini rising). I’m super sarcastic and cutthroat when angry, it makes people upset, shocked, amused, wanting to laugh but also butt heads with me. My mind can find irony in literally anything. I also can change my voice and facial expressions easily when I’m mimicking someone. 
☃︎ Those with strong mercury-pluto aspects, the type that could actually give you contractions from laughter. They think intensely, experience life intensely, are cutthroat and skeptical, are super intellectual and deep which is enough to make them ironic in the way they communicate. Their communication style comes across as bold, raw and shocking, saying it how it is, not afraid of joking about taboo or embarrassing stuff. It feels like my life is fucked up my mind is fucked up and I don't give a fuck typa attitude. Matthew Perry, Pete Davidson, Louis C.K, Adam Sandler, Ryan Reynolds, Steve Carell (mercury conj pluto).
☃︎ Heavy pluto and saturn placements can make someone insanely funny especially if they’ve got aspects indicating public speaking. The absolute best at self deprecating humor. They aren’t afraid to share their traumatic experiences, because not only they make people laugh but they give hope to those who can relate. They got where they are by accumulating that much knowledge and wisdom and it came through many wounds usually relating to rejection, abandonment and feeling inadequate. They use humor to heal themselves and others. 
☃︎ Pete Davidson, Ryan Reynolds and Ricky Gervais got heavy scorpio and pluto conjunctions, examples of plutonian humor. Dave Chappelle and Chris Tucker got heavy saturn aspects, examples of saturnian humor.
☃︎ Now Chris Tucker got all the basic comedian placements. He’s easily one of the best and most successful comedians to ever exist. The type to open his mouth and everyone starts laughing. It’s the attitude not even the context. He was the popular kid too, friends with Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Jackie Chan, Prince and literally every iconic celebrity in the US. 
☃︎ Chris has a mercury square Jupiter at 0°, leo mercury 28°, capricorn moon, scorpio jupiter, saturn in gemini, jupiter conj neptune (can expand the imagination in storytelling), north node in aquarius (he was a trailblazer in rush hour and many comedians mimic him).
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☃︎ I noticed so many times that people with saturn in gemini can be socially responsible, meaning that they refuse to cuss in some occasions and refuse to talk shit or go against their morals. Partially due to the lessons they learned on gossip and the consequences of misinformation or twisted narratives. Chris Tucker rejected an offer because he refused to cuss and smoke weed on camera, he also avoids vulgarity and profanity in his stand ups. 
☃︎ Those with gemini north node are either so good at communicating clearly, storytelling and entertaining or will learn that in this lifetime. Same goes for gemini risings. One of their missions is to accumulate knowledge from everywhere they go without the need for distant travel and sharing it with others rather than keeping it confined for abstract contemplations (sag south node). They develop a communication style that is so personal to them that allows them to be a messenger, a bridge between people and a powerful speaker. 
☃︎ I have a leo north node and the more I grow older the more I realize I'm never meant to act so old. This inner child in me screams to come out after every tough cycle esp when I'm mentally trapped in societal conformity. Those with a leo nn exude childlike innocence and purity, at their best spreading love and joy wherever they go. Though to get there they go through challenging experiences alone to build so much strength and confidence so they can pursue what they love and share love so freely since they are so used to being cold and detached (aqua south node). 
☃︎ Those with a cancer north node are naturally so good at business matters like building a company or climbing the success ladder (capricorn south node). They learn quickly that material success alone does not bring them fulfillment. Every time they reach somewhere that feeling of achievement is fleeting and they just want to share those moments with others. They have this urge to connect emotionally to their loved ones and create memories. They might desire having a family of their own, a secure home, and a sense of safety and stability.
I somehow always unintentionally post in december and my posts be considered old next month, so I quit my toxic draining job last week, kinda feels like a life crisis, but I’m feeling so safe and cozy in my bed having my hot mocha eating all the christmas sweets and watching funny shit. so share your fav stand ups, funny movies or documentaries, anything you watch during the holidays. stay warm and cozy 🧣🎅🏼
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kjupchurch-xx · 2 months
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I’m doing random one shots/imagines on Hugh Jackman on WattPad. I’m new to Tumblr, so I may not always post them here. You can enjoy these on my WattPad as well, my profile is under @kjupchurch
✨ Remarkable ✨
August 5th, 2024
                      Los Angeles, California
           ✨This contains SMUT✨
I yawned while stretching out into the California king sized bed, feeling the soft mattress swallow my body. Over the last several months, Hugh and I have been staying in Ryan Reynolds guest home for the filming and now press from Deadpool & Wolverine. As much as I was enjoying LA, I missed my own bed. I missed our home in NYC.
Hugh and I have been together for the past eight months. Had you told me last August that one year from now I'd be in California, or that a bunch of A-List celebrities would know I'd exist, I would've never believed you. I was an ordinary, normal 25-year-old girl from the East Coast when I'd met Hugh. He was freshly separated from his wife of 27 years, Deborra-Lee Furness at the time.
Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to remind me that I'm not in some sort of weird dream.
I looked down feeling my phone vibrate from a text. I sleepily smiled as I saw his name pop up.
Hugh 💋: Hey Love, Noldsy and I are getting ready to pull up at the house. Are you awake?
Me: I'm up. I'll see you soon. 😘
I must've fallen asleep shortly after seeing the text because I awoke to the sound of the bedroom door opening. I could smell his cologne and he was nowhere near me yet. He always smelled heavenly.
"Hey, Love. I'm back." He said, in his thick Australian accent that leaves me weak in the knees every time I hear it.
I sleepily smiled, "Hey, baby. How was it?" I asked, pulling myself up to sit up in the large bed.
He pressed a soft kiss against my lips, "Awesome as always. It was only missing you."
I chuckled as he pulled away, "I'm sorry, Love. I'm still exhausted from the interviews earlier. I'm still not used to this go, go, go thing."
He smiled, pulling his shirt off, heading in the direction of the bathroom, "I know. You'll get used to it soon enough, babe. I'm gonna hop in the shower, would you like to join me?" He asked while turning back to face me.
I lazily got out of the bed smirking at him, following suit, "Is that even a real question? Do I want to join you?"
He chuckled hearing the sarcasm in my words, whilst shrugging his shoulders. "Hey, you never know. I have to pinch myself sometimes because I'm wondering what a beautiful gal like you would want with some old bloke like me."
I rolled my eyes as we entered the bathroom, flipping the dim setting lights on. "Shut up. I have to pinch myself considering you like older women and I'm..." I began jokingly counting on my fingers, "Like 30 years younger than you."
It was now his turn to roll his eyes. He laughed almost embarrassingly, "Shut it. You see how that turned out. I figured I needed to expand my horizons."
I noticed his gaze dropping to my breasts as I removed the t-shirt I had on, revealing no bra underneath. I couldn't help myself as my eyes trailed to his cut abs. How this man was about to be 56 years old blows my mind daily. I slowly pulled off my underwear as I heard him turn the faucet for the shower on shortly before removing his shoes, black jeans and his boxer briefs.
He slowly walked closer towards me and grasped both of my cheeks, pulling me closer towards him while looking into my eyes. His hazel eyes burning through my green ones, causing me to look down. Even after eight months of being with this beautiful man, his presence still made me somewhat shy at times.
His voice softened barely above a whisper, "I missed you so much, Love." I felt his thumb begin caressing my cheek and couldn't escape the smile appearing on my lips.
I whispered back, "You have no idea how much I missed you." I briefly looked up to see the sweet smile appearing on his face.
"Come on now, don't be shy, baby." He said with a smirk, placing a small kiss on my forehead.
The blush appearing on my cheeks was practically burning my skin. Hugh grabbed my arm, pulling me into the shower with him. Thankfully, Ryan's guest house has a massive shower, so there would be no fighting over who gets the water while the other person freezes to death in the corner waiting their turn.
The feeling of the water cascading down our skin feels indescribable. After the jam packed week we've had, it feels phenomenal. I was shaken from my thoughts as I felt two strong arms wrap around me.
"You're quiet, you okay, love?" He asked softly, looking down at me.
He towers me, me being 5'0 and him being 6'2. It certainly has its perks.
I nodded, "I'm okay, I'm just exhausted." I said with a small chuckle.
The sound of his chuckles filled my ears, "I am too. We've got another full day of it tomorrow."
I nodded, pressing a soft kiss on his peck muscle, "I know."
There are so many things that I want to do, but I'm genuinely exhausted and I'm sure that he is as well with the hectic schedule he's been running on. I'm shaken from my thoughts as I feel a poking sensation pressing against my abdomen, right near my belly button. I smirked, "Really?"
He chuckled with a small shrug of his shoulders, "I'm sorry babe, I'm holdin' your naked body, it's just a natural reaction."
As tired as I am, he turns me on so much that resisting the temptation is almost impossible. I slowly ran my hand down his chest, towards his abs and let my fingers caress his happy trail. I could feel the poking sensation grow harder as my hand inches towards his waistline as he let out a small chuckle. I looked up, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss as my fingers trailed past the happy trail, grabbing his hard member. I could feel him produce a low moan against my lips.
Our tongues danced for dominance as I slowly stroked him. He quickly pushed us towards the shower wall, pinning my back against the hard slick tile. I could feel him nibbling on my bottom lip as my hand began stroking quicker. I broke the kiss and began placing kisses on his neck. I could feel him throw his head back in pleasure while moans escaped his lips. I trailed wet kisses down his chest, sinking to the floor to run my tongue down his chiseled abs.
I maintained eye contact with him as I quickly replaced my hand that was on his now throbbing cock with my mouth. He looked down at me whilst biting his bottom lip, taking a deep breath through his nose.
"Oh, Baby." He moaned, caressing my chin pulling it upwards forcing me to hold my eye contact as my lips traced over the tip of his cock. I felt his hand move towards the back of my head as he began thrusting into my mouth.
He grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back up to kiss him. He placed his hands under my ass cheeks and lifted me up, holding me against the shower wall, never breaking the kiss. I felt the tip of his cock brush against my entrance, sending shockwaves through my core.
Against my lips, he spoke seductively, "Look at me, baby." As he slowly entered me, I gasped at his size. He was big. He was well endowed, and well over 6 inches long. Even after eight months, it still takes me a minute to adjust.
After giving me a minute to regain my composure, he began slamming into me while my cries of pleasure filled the dimly lit room. He smirked at me, "That's my good girl. Cum for me."
The sound of his husky Australian voice sent me over the edge. I sank my nails into his back as I felt my orgasm fast approaching.
He bit my lip, "I want you to cum for me." He growled, thrusting at a quicker pace.
There's no way Ryan and Blake hadn't ever overheard us. Even in a guest house, we tend to get very loud.
As he slammed into me one last time, I felt myself melt into him as my orgasm ravage my body. I felt him throbbing as he came deep inside me. He sat me down on my feet and grinned at me cheekily while kissing my forehead.
"Now we really do need a shower." I said chuckling, grabbing my loofa and soap.
Once we finished showering, I followed Hugh into the joining bedroom and collapsed back into the bed. He collapsed next to me, pulling me into his arms. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the musky scent of his body wash.
"I missed you today." I mumbled, twirling my fingers in his chest hair.
"I missed you too, love. Loads." He said softly.
I felt him shift under me so he could look down at me, "Why are you so quiet today, babe? This is not like you. What's wrong?"
I sighed, "I've just been in my head today. Nothing too crazy, I promise."
He began running his fingers through my hair, "Tell me what's bothering you."
Chuckling I said, "I don't know. This is all just... crazy."
He looked at me knowingly with a slight smirk in his expression, "What is?"
"You. Me. California. Movie premiers. All of it. One year ago, I was a normal person that went to work at a job I hated every day. I lived in a small town. Now I'm in bed with Wolverine. How does this even happen?" I said laughing.
He positioned himself upwards on his elbows, causing me to lift up and look at him. He almost couldn't wipe the cheeky smile off his face.
I chuckled, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked throwing my hands up in defeat.
He shook his head, still not moving the smile from his lips, "A year ago, I didn't imagine my life would be like this either."
I playfully rolled my eyes, "Is that a good thing?"
He nodded, "A very good thing. I fell for you because you're the most remarkable person I've ever met." He leaned in to kiss me softly.
"You're in my bed because I realized I'm incapable of being away from you." He placed another soft kiss on my lips.
"And you're so damn beautiful. You make me feel like the luckiest bloke in the world. Almost like I won the jackpot on a Scratchy." He smirked, giving me a small chuckle followed by another peck on the lips.
I smiled, laughing "You're ridiculous. And we call them scratch-offs." I said jokingly.
He playfully held his chest as if he were offended, "Hey, I'm an Australian. We say things less complicated than you guys do here."
I playfully rolled my eyes again, "Whatever, Hugh Ackerman."
His face erupted into laughter, "Let's have a cuddle and get some sleep, love." He said softly while pulling me into his arms.
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