#Runic Alphabet

[qldqueerboy]

Your major priority today is setting up a workable checklist of chores for the coming weekend. You could say that motivationally you are mentally and energetically ready to get busy however unfortunately it’s a feeling that isn’t going to last nor is it a feeling that is easily moveable once you get going. The best result it seems may be to limit most of the chores for another day and time.

[the-pagan-crow]

The Runes - An Introduction

Hello! Today, we're going to be looking at the runes. This is the introductory post for our rune study, which will be an in-depth look at each rune individually.

Before we get to that, we need a little history and background, so this is an introduction. There will not be any divinitory meanings explored today. We are simply looking at the runes and learning about their history.

Different Runic Alphabets

Many heathens are aware of two runic alphabets, Elder Futhark and Younger Furhark. However, there are more runic alphabets than just those. Some other alphabets are the Germanic Futhork and Medieval runes. While there are many runic alphabets, this blog will primarily explore the Futharks.

Elder and Younger Futhark History

As one might guess, the Elder Futhark gets its name because it came before the Younger Futhark. I have found some discrepancies over when Elder Futhark first appeared. That being said, somewhere in the 1st or 2nd century, Elder Futhark began being used by the Norse people.

By the Viking age, so around the 8th century, Elder Futhark turned into a different, shorter, alphabet that we now know as Younger Futhark.

Differences in Elder vs Younger

As stated before, Younger Futhark is much shorter. In fact, Younger Futhark is only 16 letters long. This is much shorter than Elder Futhark's 24 runes.

Another difference is that Younger Futhark has 2 different versions. They are often called Short-Twig and Long-Twig. Both of these versions mean the same thing. It's kind of like modern-day cursive versus print handwriting.

Were the Runes Just Alphabets?

This is a hard question for us to be 100% sure on. We have had some sources and people tell us that the ancient people did not believe the runes to have a deeper meaning than being characters in a writing system.

However, this is slightly contradictory with the mythological story we have about the runes (more on that below).

It is possible that they believed the runes held a deeper meaning, but did not use them for divination as we do today.

Odin and the Runes

In Norse mythology, Odin "discovered" the runes while he hung from the world tree, Yggdrasil, for nine days and nights after he impaled his heart with his own spear. It's said that the runes came to him from the Well of Urd, which is the source of fate.

Many people say that Odin put himself through this dangerous event because he knew the runes held great meaning and wisdom.

In Conclusion

The Elder and Younger Futhark are very interesting pieces of history and of the heathen path. I hope this post helped explain their history and background. I'm excited to start our in-depth study of the runes! We will start with Elder Futhark and then move to Younger Futhark. Below, you'll find quick charts of what the different Futharks look like!

[medicinanocturna]

Energetic channels in a relationship: why to consider them? 

Runes versus Astrology

Human relationships are one of the most vibrant themes in esoteric sciences. It is very difficult to understand, predict, or reason them. We are hugely emotional beings, and this defines lots of our connections. 

Synastry is a good starting point to try seeing where the two people connect. But it is also a bit dry, and generalised. Not all aspects play out as they are described.

The most important disclaimer here is this: the synastry chart doesn’t work, and it never will, unless there are energetic channels between the two.

The potential nature of such channels is reflected in the synastry, but whether there is an energy in them or not is not explicit. 

Imagine you have a scheme of a house. You see where the tubes and the power cords go. This is a synastry chart. But the scheme doesn’t reveal whether the water and the electricity are actually flowing in these tubes and cables. 

In astrology, the term energetic channels do not refer to synastry, but rather to the energetic field of a person. I haven’t found any astrological means to tell for sure whether the planetary channels between the two people are functional or not, or whether there is a sustainable flow of energy present. Not rare are the cases when the synastry chart looks captivating and has many “magnetic” personal and sexual aspects, but in reality, not much of it is happening between partners. And vice versa, some synastry charts show barely two or three aspects of mutual attraction, but the couple has a great personal and intimate compatibility and exchange. (The only aspect that will almost always indicate the energy flowing between the two is a conjunction. But this is not the scope of this text.) 

Here I would like to tell something about the runes as a tool of reading. Runes can be very accurate in describing personal chemistry in a coupe and whether there is an energetic channel between the two people in the relationships. 

The first most important rune to mention in this regard is Nauthiz. 

In relationships, this rune can be interpreted as a hunger or a need. In its upright position, its meaning remains the same, but in a more uncontrollable fashion that can also imply guilt or fear. This rune is well known for its extensive application in runic love spell formulas that are meant to conjure abiding passion and longing for the one who is activating it. 

In divination for love relationships, Nauthiz comes as an indication of many things, but it always means a strong connection between two people. It may also be an external connection, like obligation, and here, the rune can be compared with Saturn in astrology. But in the sphere of feelings, Nauthiz is an intense channel pulling the energy from one person to another, or both ways. The Nauthiz kind of channel is very prominently felt when the two are separated. In real life, this type of connection can be a difficult one, and always comes with an emotional pain. This rune is connected with an ether body, and so are the feelings like hunger and thirst. Ether body is the one of the most actively involved in our loving relationships. Touch, smell, physical longing, tenderness or intensity of a hug - all come from our ether bodies. Nauthiz can also indicate a longing that is being hidden (restricted) by a person.

Eihwaz is the other rune that can signify an energetic channel between the two people.

Its form already has a direct reference to it. The energy from one side goes down to the opposite and vice versa. In love divinations, it is always an indiction of a very strong connection (emotional, mental, energetic). Eihwaz will usually indicate that the channel is deep and stable to the extent that the two people can influence each other, see each other in dreams, hear each other’s emotions well. In my practice, it is Eihwaz that would appear in divinations for relationships where some energy practices are involved, including shamanic practices or astral projections. Such channels are also present between a healer and a patient. It is due to this channel that the work can be done. 

Eihwaz therefore can also signify the channel between the two people who are in service to each other in a certain sense.

Gebo is the rune of partnership, as it is obvious from its form.

It signifies a process of “exchange”. Ideally, this exchange is equal. But in certain aspects with other runes, Gebo is also a rune that would reveal vampirism. Unlike Nauthiz and Eihwaz that are self- sufficient for signifying the channel between the two, Gebo usually needs some other confirmation from other runes. If confirmed by other runes of love and feeling, Gebo indicates a channel of “give and take” nature in relationships. It may also be a sign of a harmonious flow of energy. Unlike Nauthiz, Gebo does not imply any painful feelings (unless it is not in combination with it (Nauthiz Gebo) in which case it will indicate a very strong sign of people being in an emotional need for each other). Not rarely Gebo is a sign of a telepathic connection between the two.

Laguz is not really a rune indicating a channel in a couple, but it is one of the most important marks of loving feelings among all twenty-four runes.

It is also a rune of water, magic and intuition, and thus suggests the flow. This flow can be one - sided, however. But in its upright position, this rune looks like a hook, and that is what it can represent - that someone is “hooked” (emotionally). In certain divinations, Laguz in the upright position is a sure indication of a love spell, or even a love curse being laid against a person. Laguz's upright signals the emotional state of confusion, often tears and instability rooted in a heavy co- dependence. In divinations where the reasons for unhappy love life are being diagnosed, Laguz will always mean there is a magical interference in place. Sometimes such magical spells come as a revenge from the ex- partners whose feelings were insulted and jealousy was untamed.

Jera is a rune of a circulation (or a cycle) of many kinds.

Per se it mostly refers to the circulation of time or events within the relationships. In certain position it can hint at karma. But when Jera goes with some other runes that signify an energetic channel, especially Eihwaz and Gebo, it will emphasize a strong energy circuit between the two. Appearing with Eihwaz especially, it is the sign of a channel that is either very stable, almost like a “loop” or is growing in its intensity, gaining more and more energy flow with each turn. 

In some cases it can also mean something that is called "the energetic lock", i.e. the energy is constant and it is "locked" from leakage. But this would be considered as a magic influence that serves as a protection (for a couple).

Hope this piece has brought some light into your runic practices (and astrology alike), as well as your understanding of the nature of our human connections in all their complexity and artistry. 

Drop me a line if you have questions.

Yours,

AlSheren 

[creature-wizard]

So from what I've been able to gather, runic alphabets are roughly the same age as the classical Latin alphabet... if not a little bit younger? Kind of interesting in light of how runes are often thought to be extremely magical based on their perceived association with ~ancient traditions~ while the magical potential of the Latin alphabet is very often dismissed.

[alexbedrag]

🕯 The Altar 🕯

ᛏᚺᛖ ᚨᛚᛏᚨᚱ ᛁᛋ ᚨ ᛈᛚᚨᚲᛖ ᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚹᛁᛏᚲᚺ ᚺᚨᛋ ᚺᛖᚱ ᛏᛟᛟᛚᛋ, ᛟᚱ ᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ ᛋᚺᛖ ᚷᛟᛖᛋ ᛏᛟ ᛈᚱᚨᚤ ᛏᛟ ᚺᛖᚱ ᛞᛖᛁᛏᛁᛖᛋ, ᛟᚱ ᛖᚡᛖᚾ ᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ ᛋᚺᛖ ᛋᚢᛗᛗᛟᚾᛋ ᚺᛖᚱ ᛈᛟᚹᛖᚱ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛖᚾᛖᚱᚷᚤ.

ᚺᛟᚹ ᛏᛟ ᚨᚱᚱᚨᚾᚷᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛖᛚᛖᛗᛖᚾᛏᛋ

ᛁᚾᚲᛖᚾᛋᛟ: ᚨᚱᛁᚨ - ᛖᛋᛏ.

ᚨᚲᛩᚢᚨ: ᚨᚲᛩᚢᚨ - ᛟᚡᛖᛋᛏ.

ᛋᚨᛚᛖ: ᛏᛖᚱᚱᚨ - ᚾᛟᚱᛞ.

ᚲᚨᚾᛞᛖᛚᚨ: ᚠᚢᛟᚲᛟ - ᛋᚢᛞ.

ᛋᛈᛁᚱᛁᛏᛟ: ᚲᛖᚾᛏᚱᛟ.

ᚺᛟᚹ ᛏᛟ ᛋᛖᛏ ᚢᛈ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚨᛚᛏᚨᚱ

ᛈᚢᛏ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛖᛚᛖᛗᛖᚾᛏᛋ ᛁᚾ ᛏᚺᛖᛁᚱ ᚱᛖᛋᛈᛖᚲᛏᛁᚡᛖ ᚲᚨᚱᛞᛁᚾᚨᛚ ᛈᛟᛁᚾᛏᛋ.

ᛟᛈᛖᚾ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚱᛁᛏᚢᚨᛚ ᚲᛁ��ᚲᛚᛖ (ᚹᛁᛏᚺ ᚲᛟᚨᚱᛋᛖ ᛋᚨᛚᛏ).

ᛋᛏᚨᚱᛏ ᛈᚨᛋᛋᛁᚾᚷ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛁᛏᛖᛗ ᚤᛟᚢ ᚹᚨᚾᛏ ᛏᛟ ᚲᛟᚾᛋᛖᚲᚱᚨᛏᛖ ᛏᛟ ᛖᚨᚲᚺ ᛁᛏᛖᛗ ᛈᛚᚨᚲᛖᛞ ᛟᚾ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚨᛚᛏᚨᚱ ᚲᛚᛟᚲᚴᚹᛁᛋᛖ ᛋᛏᚨᚱᛏᛁᚾᚷ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛖᚨᛋᛏ.

ᚾᚨᛗᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛁᛏᛖᛗ ᛖᚨᚲᚺ ᛏᛁᛗᛖ.

ᚲᛚᛟᛋᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛟᛒᛃᛖᚲᛏ ᛁᚾ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚺᚨᚾᛞᛋ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛁᚾᚠᚢᛋᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛖᚾᛖᚱᚷᚤ.

To translate copy the post here:

[highpriestess-pinkypunjabi]

MASTER SORCERY COURSE

As the name suggests this is the course to master in runic and icelandic methods

I love combining them, the above video is a glimpse done by my student to show you all how we work with herbs to make them powerful and unleash their magic and potency. Like this you will learn much more techniques to be powerful in your spells and to get maximum results for you and your clients.

Contents

What are staves ?

Staves and how to.work with them

Runic and icelandic combination

How to invoke and evoke

How to destroy the staves after use

Connect to spirits with staves

Spell casting

Ways of working with icelandic and runic magick

Connect with Icelandic ancestor ways

Difference between Norse runes and Icelandic

Different ways of using staves

Around ten spells will be covered and some powerful prayers

Book your seats now.. whatsapp to 9176231990

[qldqueerboy]

The result of a tough decision made today exceeded your expectations in the way that the message was embraced and acted on. How you managed in turning around the cold inflexible unwillingness of the person it was directed at still mystifies you. It is only the first step of changes you want to see happen but at least it is a start back to regaining a stable relationship or friendship today.

[northern-passage]

sorry if this has been asked before, tumblr search is horrendous, do you have any visuals on the runes used by hunters?

not reaaally.... i've only ever drawn the ones on Lea's hands:

and i didn't really assign meaning to any of the symbols specifically, though i have tried to keep the shapes consistent whenever i draw them.

when i designed them i kinda based them off a combination of the runic alphabet, old alchemical symbols, and the very basic elemental symbols, which is why they're so angular:

with alchemy, the four base elements are the foundation of almost every transmutation, whether they're combining with each other or turning gaseous/solidifying/liquifying, etc. and magic is drawn from these four elements as well, with most people specializing in one or two elements. these systems are very tightly intertwined in the tnp world, and share a "language" so the sigils will look similar whether we're talking magic or alchemy (though magic isn't an exact science in the way that alchemy is, so runes aren't required in the same way, but rather used as an anchor/powered core for focused magic.) metal transmutations will use earth and fire, ice uses water and air, electricity uses air and fire, on and on and they just build on each other like a chemical equation, depending on the complexity of what's being done.

Lea and the hunter, as well as other members of the order (and people like Keres), are skilled enough in alchemy to not require drawing a full sigil, though the hunter does currently do this in the wraith fight since i wrote it before i tweaked some of the magic/alchemy system. the hunter themself will always have the basic sigils on their bracers, but an alchemist hunter will have more complex engravings as well as tattoos like Lea (if chosen by the player) and runes on their weapons, allowing them to transmute them (like the gauntlet or whip in the Duncan fight and the morningstar with the wraith.)

common alchemists, who are more like scientists than fighters like Lea and the hunter, will draw full sigils both for transmutations and while concocting potions.

i got a lot of inspiration from fullmetal alchemist, which does use classic 17th century alchemical symbols and imagery; the idea of the circle is the same in tnp, which is why Lea has those bands tattooed around their wrists. it allows them to use themselves/their hands as the foundational circle, rather than drawing it out, allowing for quicker transmutations.

[sidabro]

this says RFDFVTH/RFDFVJi believe?? wonder who and why did this

[scarlet--wiccan]

Dark Web: X-Men #2

The spell translates to “Lobster Rolls For Lunch,” fyi

[bashfuldragon-blog]

I had an aunt who passed away some time ago and she owned an import/new age/fair trade store in NY. When she passed away, another aunt sent me an entire box of unclaimed/unsold inventory(for Yule) including many tarot decks and several sets of runes....

Rune Meanings

These are a few keywords and themes for rune symbols along with their modern alphabet equivalents.

*longer read*

Ansuz - Message, A

God, Ancestors, Revelation, Signs, Visions, Insight, Message, Knowledge, Communication

Berkana - Birch, B

Earth Mother, Birth, Fertility, Growth, Renewal, New beginnings, Creation, New projects, Creativity

Kaunaz - Torch, C/K/Q

Fire, Knowledge, Enlightenment, Comprehension, Insight, Illumination, Calling, Purpose, Idea

Dagaz - Dawn, D

Intuition, Light Within, Day, Awakening, Consciousness, Clarity, Hope, Balance, Growth, New cycles

Ehwaz - Horse, E

Twin Gods, Relationships, Progress, Movement, Harmony, Trust, Loyalty, Friendship, Assistance, Duality, Animal instincts

Fehu - Wealth, F

Wealth, Mother Rune, Abundance, Luck, Hope, Prosperity, Fortune

Gebo - Gift, G

Divine Interaction, Generosity, Partnership, Gifts, Talents, Charity, Service, Assistance, Luck, Fortune

Hagalaz - Hail (as in the type of weather), H

Transformation, Egg of Life, Destruction, Natural wrath, Uncontrolled forces, Testing, Change, External input

Isa - Ice, I

Cosmic Coherence, Suspension, Delay, Stillness, Frustration, Blocks, Pause, Waiting

Jera - Harvest, J

Earth, Right Action, Year, conclusion, Life cycle, Endings and beginnings, Abundance, Learnings, Growth

Laguz - Lake, L

Fertilty, Living Renewal, Water, Intuition, Imagination, Healing, Dreams, Mysteries, Insight, Instinct, Knowing

Mannaz - Man, M

Divine Union Manifestation, Humanity, Collective, Mortality, Community, Relationships, Morals, Values

Nauthiz - Neccesity, N

Needs, Friction, Shadow, Restriction, Disagreements, Resistance, Survival, Lacking

Othila - Heritage, O

Genetics, Legacy, inheritance, Spiritual growth, Abundance, Values, Contribution

Peorth - Destiny, P

Divination, Luck, Primal law, Fate, Mysteries, Occult, Feminine fertility, Chance, Fortune, Mysticism, Unknown

Raido - Journey, R

Solar Chariot, Rhythm, Progress, Movement, Evolution, Perspective, Journey, Travel

Sowulo - Sun, S

Thunderbolt, Wheel of Power, Success, Vitality, Inspiration, Justice, Success, Joy, Happiness, Abundance

Teiwaz - Victory, T

Masculine Gods, Warrior Rune, Leadership, Rationality, Honour, Bravery, Courage, Strength, Perseverance, Endurance

Uruz - Power, U

Primal Creative Force, Gateway, Strength, Endurance, Health, Courage, Vigour, Vitality, Force, Perseverance

Wunjo - Joy, V/W

Kinship, Heritage, Joy, Pleasure, Feast, Celebration, Comfort, Belonging, Community, Success, Festivities

Thurisaz - Thor, X, th

Protection, Polarity, Regeneration, Defence, Challenge, Danger, Attack, Strength

Eiwaz - Yew, Y

Tree of Life, Dreaming, Magic, Connection, Inspiration, Endurance, Sacred knowledge, Protection, Life cycles, Divinity

Algiz - Elk, Z

Divine Protection, Sanctuary, Protection, Guardian, Awakening, Courage, Defence, Instincts

Inguz - Fertility, ng

True Love, Music, Harmony, Fertility, Virility, Inner growth, Virtue, Peace, Harmony

Merry meet,

Atti <3

[tyrannuspitch]

hey does anyone know if there's a way to put text in columns on ao3...

[treecakes]

still don’t know how i should format this paper

[tomriddleslove]

What’s left of me?

✩Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Summary: The one where your pursuit for excellence leads you down a path of self destruction, and you’re slowly loosing yourself. You didn’t expect a certain boy in your year would be your saving grace. Alternatively: Mattheo makes you realise you’re more than what you think you are.

A/N: I guess this could very easily be like a prequel to the other mattheo one shot ‘i’m here’. This is definitely a bit self indulgent but we all have our things 😻😻

Warnings: Allusions to overdosing (brief), mentions of not eating.

Songs: Nothings New - Rio Romeo

18 days.

18 days till you would be finished with all of this.

Technically, it would actually be 408 days till you finished school and graduated from this godforsaken place, but 18 more till you finished with exams.

You weren’t sure how many more hours you could spend hunched over indecipherable handwriting, pouring over text till your eyes stung and your back ached. Surrounded by a stack of books and rolls of parchment, you couldn’t even begin to figure out where you ended and the library began. You had taken up a huge table (that could seat at least 4) for the better part of 17 hours, sat on the same chair since 6:00 am.

You stifle a small groan of pain as you roll your wrist, stiff and sore from the hell that was ancient runes.

There are ink splotches all over your skin, and you’re sure the amount of work you were pouring into this stopped being effective nearly 5 hours ago.

Your eyes flicker up and scan over the once-packed library that had slowly dwindled down to a few students, half of whom were in the same boat as you.

To you, being the last person in the library was a huge sign of success. It meant you were more dedicated and more hard-working.

In reality, the truth couldn’t be any further from that, but in your mind, if you weren’t milking yourself over every last piece of work it simply wasn’t being done right.

The hushed murmurs and sounds of parchment being unfurled fade into the background as your quill scratches furiously against the parchment, mind running at a million miles an hour.

You ignore the pang in your stomach as you work; you haven’t eaten today. You didn’t want to get up at any point to get food, for fear of your place being taken.

Now, you didn’t want to get up for another reason. It was well past the library's open hours and Madame Pince was angrily fussing about, bustling around everyone as she got them to leave. A testament to how long you had been there, she didn’t even seem to notice you, and you were worried getting up and walking about would break this sort of invisibility shield you had going on.

Come to think of it, you hadn’t really drunk any water either. You brought your bottle with you but had forgotten to fill it up. It was fine though, the human body could last for 3 days without water - it could wait. Your upcoming exams were far more important.

In Scandinavia, the Elder Futhark remained in use until some time around the eighth century (the time of the Eddas), when drastic changes in the Old Norse language occurred, and corresponding changes in the runic alphabet were made to accommodate the new sounds. However, unlike the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc, the Younger Futhark (as it is now called) reduced the number of runes from 24 to 16, and several runes came to represent multiple sounds. The forms of the runes were also changed and simplified.

Gods, you couldn't take this anymore. You felt sick and exhausted. You ignore the hunger that gnaws at your stomach, rubbing a hand over your face as you contemplate finishing off and going to bed.

But every time you think of stopping a horrible feeling emerges in your stomach, consuming you with anxiety. The weight of impending exams and the fear of not doing well gnawing at your determination. You glance at the clock, realizing it's well past midnight, and the library is now completely empty except for you.

Madame Pince, finally noticing your presence, approaches with a disapproving look. "You know, the library does close at a certain hour. I can't have students staying here all night," she scolds, but her tone softens as she sees the exhaustion in your eyes.

“Sorry. I lost track of time” You mumble, haphazardly cramming your stuff into your bag. You get up, and the room spins for a second. You stumble but manage to catch yourself, holding onto the table as Madam Pince reaches out a hand to help you recover.

“You need to take care of yourself. No exam is worth this much stress,” She says, eyeing you with concern. If only she knew how far that was from the truth. You felt as though you had so little to your name. Performing well, overachieing. That was what you were known for. It was the only thing you felt was yours. Everyone else had character, they were distinctly themselves. They had hobbies, interests, and friendships that defined them. But for you, it was always about excelling academically. Without that, you became nobody. You were no more than the number on your papers, and the reminder weighed down on you like an unrelenting burden.

By some miracle you manage to stumble down the empty halls of the castle into the Slytherin common room, which seemed paradoxically warm considering its grandiose stone structure and dark, moody lighting. You carelessly drop your bag onto a table closest to the fireplace, trudging up to your room as you battle the sleep that threatens to consume you.

It's dark, and your roommates have long gone to bed.

“Lumos” You murmur, hiding the blinding light that emerges from the tip of your wand with the lining of your school robes, dimming it slightly. You grope blindly at your bedside drawer, stopping when you feel the familiar smooth glass bottle, that fits perfectly in your palm. You slip it into the pocket of your robes, slowly shutting the drawer as you make your way back down to the common room. You dismiss the light that shines from your wand, tossing it onto the sofa as you take a seat on the floor, in front of the low table. You read the instructions on the back of the small bottle as if you hadn’t been consuming this religiously for the past month.

Wideye potion User Guidance:

Take no more than one teaspoon every 6 hours. Effects will last for up to 8 hours. Excessive use of this potion may lead to adverse effects, and in rare cases, severe bodily harm. Users are advised not to use the maximum dosage for a consecutive 72 hours.

You’ve read it so many times, you were sure you could recite it by heart. Choosing not to heed any warnings, you pop open the cork and down the whole bottle in one go. The rancid taste of the potion burns, eliciting a shudder down your spine as you swallow down the bile that threatens to emerge. Pocketing the empty glass bottle, you stretch your arms before retrieving your books, ready to continue working.

If you were lucky, the potion might give you a boost of energy for about 3 hours or so. You had been taking it so much you had developed a sort of immunity to it, and the effects were not as potent as they used to be. The sacrifice of your well-being for the sake of productivity had become a routine, a desperate attempt to squeeze every ounce of time and focus out of your exhausted mind and body.

You have attempted to brew a stronger concoction, in the misplaced hopes that increasing the potency would counteract the effect of the immunity. However, the violent cramps and palpitations it had given you very quickly told you that wouldn't work.

You knew it was bad. It was causing irreversible damage to your body, killing you at worst. It simply wasn't sustainable. But you couldn't drag yourself out of that mindset.

Failure. Nobody.

You gritted your teeth and carried on working.

You managed to get through another potions essay, and the time on your watch read 1:00 am.

You could carry on for longer, right?

You zone out for a second, staring off at the orange embers that emerged from the fireplace, shining bright for what seemed like a millisecond before falling to the floor, turning into nothing but ash.

The orange embers flicker, and for a moment, you see yourself in them – a fleeting brightness that threatens to be extinguished. The battle between ambition and self-preservation rages on as you grit your teeth and carry on working, oblivious to the embers slowly falling into nothingness, much like your own fading sense of self.

“Why on earth are you up at this hour doing work?” A voice calls from behind you, and the momentary intrusion shocks you, sending a burst of energy through you as you spin around.

Flopping down onto the sofa next to you, leaning back with his legs lazily outstretched, was none other than Mattheo Riddle. Clad in a plain grey sweatshirt and black jeans, he eyes you with curiosity, smelling distinctively of smoke. He had most likely been out, as he so usually was at this hour. You shrug, turning back to your work.

“Exams. Need to revise” You mumble, voice cracking. You swallow, massaging your dry throat as you grimace, trying to get back to your writing.

“Revise? Merlin, you're the smartest person in our year. You don't need to be revising” Matthep leans forward, plucking a piece of parchment from your pile and examining it with a raised eyebrow.

You snatch it back, a protective instinct kicking in despite the fatigue. You hated that sentiment. Despised it, even. People always assumed your performance came naturally. That you were simply born with the ability to do well. No one seemed to consider what you had to do to get to that point, how you wore yourself down, day in and day out, till you either passed out from exhaustion or pain, neglecting your most basic needs.

"I might be the 'smartest' person, but that doesn't mean I can afford to slack off," you reply, a hint of frustration in your voice. The adrenaline from the sudden interruption starts to ebb away, leaving you feeling even more drained.

Mattheo leans back, momentarily caught off guard by your defensiveness. He had never seen you this on edge. He was so accustomed to seeing you as this familiar presence during the school day his partner for the many lessons that he didn’t have his friends in. The two of you would work together and on rare occasions, hang out with one another in the common room as well. It was a rather unlikely duo, the king of Slytherin and the academic prodigy. Yet, More often than not Mattheo found himself seeking out your presence. He never admitted it outright, but he hugely admired you. Your intelligence, your drive, it all captivated him. There were times when he hoped he could be only half the person you were.

How funny it was, for you felt the very same thing when you saw him. He seemed content. Happy. He was loved by nearly everyone. Popular, with a fun social life. He had everything you wanted without putting in any of the work.

You wanted to be like him. But you weren’t. And if you wanted anything like what he had, you had to work damn hard for it. So that's what you did. With a small sigh, you turn back to your work.

“Hey,” He says gently, his voice softening slightly. "I’m sorry. I say stupid things sometimes.” He apologies, brows furrowed as he looks at your back facing him.

“It's fine. I should be saying sorry. You didn't say anything, I just…. I’m just a bit tired, that's all.” You mumble, apologising as you get up. You stretch, a yawn escaping your lips as you wearily rub your eyes.

“I'm gonna run up to my room and grab some more parchment. I’ll be down in a second,” You say, shrugging off your school robe as you turn to walk away. You ascend the stairs leading to your dorm, tossing your robe onto the sofa next to Mattheo as you do so.

Your robe slides off the sofa and hits the floor, a faint clinking sound echoing through the empty room as you disappear.

Curious, Mattheo looks down at your carelessly discarded robe. He reaches down, picking it up. It weighs heavier than it should be, and Mattheo can't help but feel a twinge of curiosity, He eyes the now empty staircase before reaching into your pocket, fingers brushing against a smooth glass vial.

Not just one, but a few.

Frowning, he turns out your pocket, and four identical glass vials tumble into his lap. Picking one up, his frown only deepens as he reads the label.

“Wideye potion?” He mutters to himself, the confusion on his face morphing into something else as the pieces fit in place.

He had admired you for your intelligence and drive, and now he was confronted with the reality of your struggles. The contrast between your achievements and the seemingly carefree moments he sought with you becomes stark. He berates himself for not having noticed early, for having let you fall down such a destructive path.

Jaw clenched, he gazes at the piles of books you had been working through, rolling the empty vials between his fingers as the sound of your approaching footsteps snaps him out of his thoughts.

You pause in confusion, noticing the scrutinising depression plastered on his face as he looks up at you, rolls of parchment bundled in your hands.

"What's the Wideye potion for?" Mattheo questions, his voice cutting through the silence with an uncomfortable heaviness. He holds up the empty vials as evidence, his gaze piercing through the exhaustion in your eyes.

Caught off guard by the confrontation, you glance down at the vials and then meet Mattheo's eyes. A brief moment of silence hangs in the air, the crackling embers of the fireplace filling the empty silence.

“Research. For uh, potions.” You respond, internally berating yourself for coming up with such a weak excuse.

Mattheo's expression remains stern, a mix of frustration and genuine concern etched on his face.

"Don't bullshit me," he says, his tone direct and uncompromising. "I found these in your pocket, and 'potions research' is a shit excuse. I’m going to ask you again. What’s the wideye potion for?"

You shift uncomfortably, feeling small under his scrutinising gaze You clear your throat, speaking.

"It's just to stay awake, you know? To keep going. I only take it in extreme circumstances" you explain, your voice betraying the exhaustion that has settled in.

Mattheos jaw clenches, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he looks to the side with a sigh, visibly frustrated.

“Extreme? And what would that be, hmm? Because right now I'm looking at four empty bottles, and God knows how many more you’ve thrown away.” He snaps, his expression softening as he looks at you.

You feel a lump forming in your throat as you struggle to find the right words. Why on earth were you close to tears? Why did you feel like crying?

“I-” You start, trailing off as you stare at the floor.

Mattheo cuts through the silence, his tone still stern but laced with concern. "This isn't okay. You're smart, and you know better. You can't keep doing this to yourself. What if something happens? What if you collapse or get seriously sick? It's not worth it."

After a moment, Mattheo's expression softens, and he exhales deeply. "When was the last time you ate?" he asks, the concern evident in his voice.

Shit.

You pause, hesitating before admitting quietly, "Breakfast...yesterday."

Mattheo's features tighten at your admission, his eyes reflecting a mixture of frustration, anger, and genuine worry. He rises from his seat and strides towards you, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent room.

"Yesterday? Are you serious?" he says sharply, his voice carrying a weight of both concern and disbelief.

You remain silent, unable to meet his eyes, feeling the shame and vulnerability washing over you.

“Seriously? Fuck, what’s wrong with you? Why would you do that to yourself?” He chastises you, and you snap.

“I have to! You don't fucking get it, do you? I don't have anything else to fall back on.” You start, dropping the parchment onto the table in front of you.

Mattheo's expression shifts from concern to confusion as you lash out. "What are you talking about? You have plenty more than just academics. You're talented, you're smart, and people care about you. Why are you reducing yourself to just grades?"

You scoff, a bitter smile playing on your lips. "Talented? Smart? What does that even mean? It's just a facade, a cover-up for the fact that without these achievements, I'm nothing. I don't have friends; I don't have hobbies or interests. What am I without my grades?"

Mattheo tries to interject, "You're a person with-"

But you cut him off, "No, you don't get it! I'm just a number, a ranking, a test score. Everything I am is tied to how well I perform academically. Do you know what it's like to feel like the only thing you're good at is studying, and even that's slipping away?" You snap anger evident in your tone as you spin around to face him, your weary eyes meeting his.

“It’s the same thing every single day. I wake up, bury myself in books, and push myself to the brink just to feel like I matter. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't talk to anyone. I’ve spent my whole life isolating myself and neglecting my most basic needs for this! If I stop now, then what's left of me?”

Tears start to well up in your eyes, and you hate yourself for showing such vulnerability. Mattheo's stern demeanour softens as he watches you unravel.

"I can't stop, Mattheo. I can't afford to. Because if I do, what's left of me?" Your voice trembles.

Mattheo's heart drops at your words, guilt and hurt clawing at his insides. He can’t fathom the idea of you suffering so much, and him being blind to it. How could you not notice how incredible of a person you are beyond all of this? He’d give anything in the world for you to see yourself through his eyes. For you to feel the way he feels when he's with you, even for a second. To know that he’d do anything you asked him to because he cared for you. Not the one who gets outstanding on all their tests.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mattheo finally speaks, his voice softer, genuine concern written across his face.

You shake your head, a mix of frustration and desperation in your eyes. “Because you wouldn’t understand. No one does. They just see the grades, the perfect student. They don’t see the mess behind it all. And I can’t let them. I can’t let anyone see me like this.”

Mattheo moves closer, his expression shifting. “You’re wrong. I do understand. Maybe not completely, but I want to. You don’t have to face this alone.”

You scoff, wiping away a tear. “Why? What do you care? You have everything, popularity, friends, a life. I’m just the study partner, the smart one. I can’t burden you with this.”

Mattheo remains silent for a second, before he speaks.

“Every other Sunday, you go down to Hogsmesde and buy a hamper of sweets form Honeydukes. You take it to the children’s school and volunteer there for an hour. Everytime you visit, you make their day.” He starts.

"You're not just grades," he says, his voice gentle. "You have quirks that make you who you are. Like the way you absentmindedly tap your foot when you're deep in thought. Or how you always carry a small notebook, and I bet it's filled with more than just class notes. I've seen you doodle in the margins."

He continues, "You have a wicked sense of humor, even if you don't show it to everyone. I've heard you snort-laugh during our study sessions. And don't even get me started on your taste in music.How you call that dastardly jazz music, i’ll never understand, but you can’t resist humming along to the tunes of the Wizarding Wireless Network when you're studying. Your fondness for Chocolate Frogs and your inexplicable aversion to pumpkin juice.”

Mattheo's eyes light up, a small smile tugging at his lips as he recalls more details. "Remember that time in Charms class when you made your quill dance across the room just to see if you could do it? Or when you brewed a prank potion that turned the water in the Prefects' bathroom blue for a week? You have a mischievous side that not many people get to see." He continues, looking down at you sincerely. He remains silent for a second, eyes scanning over your face before he steps back, sighing.

“I don’t know how to do this emotional, sappy bullshit. I don’t do it. But with you, I do. I want to. Other people want to. That’s what you do.” He says, voice quiet.

You remain rooted to your spot, somewhere between disbelief and gratitude as you stare up at Mattheo. How did he know all that? Why did he know all that?

“You noticed?” You speak up, voice alarmingly quiet.

He looks at you as though you’ve just asked him whether the sky is blue.

“Of course i’ve noticed. It’s impossible not to.” He murmurs, and you know he’s being honest.

Tears prick in your eyes again, and it’s as though all that exhaustion and neglect has come crashing back down on you tenfold after Mattheo had called you out. You try blink them away but alas, you simply couldn’t. Before you can even say anything, Mattheo steps forward, pulling you into his chest as he wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. He holds you tightly, not even entertaining the thought of letting go as your tears soak his sweatshirt, tentatively accepting his embrace. His heart clenches at every tear that falls from your eyes, and he can’t tell if he’s horrified or accepting of the fact that he’d give up everything to relieve you of your burdens, even if only for a day.

He rubs your back soothingly, and you can’t help but let it all out.

It’s rather cathartic, really, because you've held onto this weight for so long, and now, in Mattheo's arms, it feels like a moment of release.

As your tears eventually subside, you pull back, both embarrassed and utterly shattered. You look down, sniffling as you wipe away your tear stained eyes when Mattheo hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.

People often said that the eyes were a window to the soul. You never really understood that, but in this moment, you felt as though you were gazing into the very depths of Mattheos being.

With a tenderness that betrays the boundaries of ‘just friends’ , he wipes away your tears with his thumb, looking down at you.

“Come on. Let’s get you up to rest, yeah?” He hums, quietly. You nod, having to tear yourself away from his touch.

He leans down to pack away your stuff, not letting you handle a thing as he throws your stuff over his shoulder.

“You can stay in my room, if you’d like. Theodore’s out for the night so I can take his bed.” Mattheo says.

You consider it for a second. You didn’t particularly fancy heading up to your room with Mattheo, for fear of your roommate awakening to see you in such a state. You nod, speaking.

“Yes please.” You say, voice embarrassingly hoarse from having cried so much. You pray Mattheo didn’t notice.

Of course he did. But, he chose not to draw attention to it, instead resolving to run down to the kitchen to get you a cup of tea.

You follow Mattheo into his room, which you were no stranger to. Having projects together meant endless hours of collaborating, and opting to avoid being pestered by your roommate and her friends (who had a rather amusing infatuation with Mattheo), you worked in his room instead.

“Help yourself to some clothes if you’d like. They’re on the right.” He says, carefully draping your school bag and robe onto one of the desks. You thank him, smiling softly as he cleans the mess he had left.

“Go lie down. I’ll be back in a second” He says, turning away as he exits his room. Swiftly walking down to the kitchen, his head is reeling with thoughts of you.

He chose not to confront the feeling gnawing at him in light of your breakdown. He didn’t want to deal with that just yet. In no less than 10 minutes he’s carefully treading up the stairs to the dorms once more, a cup of chamomile tea in one hand and some small crackers in the other.

You hadn’t been eating, nor drinking, and the idea of you neglecting yourself so much sent Mattheo into an uncomfortable state where he found himself riddled with anxiety.

Just friends, right?

He clicks open the door to his room with his elbow, precariously walking over with the tea and crackers in hand as he goes to set them down on his bedside table. His eyes flicker over to you, and a small smile tugs at his lips as he sees you already fast asleep, curled up under the covers. The sight of your slumber brings a warmth to Mattheo's heart. He watches you for a moment, taking in the soft rise and fall of your breath, the delicate features that are usually tense with stress now softened in sleep.

The sight brings him more peace than he wishes to admit, and the looming reality that he had to eventually confront only pressed down on him further.

But for now, he didn’t care.

Because in your peace, he found happiness. And he’s sure he’d never find anything else more beautiful.

Possessed by a wave of sentiment that betrays his usual self, he can’t resist reaching out to tuck a stand of misplaced hair behind your ear. Before he can even comprehend what he’s doing, he leans down and presses a soft , brief kiss to your forehead.

He pulls back and finds himself slightly taken aback by his own actions. The quiet room, filled only with the soft sounds of your sleep, almost seems to amplify the beating of his heart.

Mattheo stands there for a moment, looking at you with a mix of tenderness and confusion. Then, shaking off the unexpected surge of emotions, he retreats to Theodores bed , slipping out of his clothes as he goes to lay down. He had to resist the urge to turn around and catch a glimpse of you once again, and lets out a small sigh as he shuts his eyes.

Mattheo Riddle was not a man of sentiment. He was not soft, and he most certainly did not go out of his way for others.

You had changed that. And he couldn’t figure out whether the prospect was one he was ready to welcome.

[poeticnorth]

Happy one year anniversary to the best book I've released (so far).

One year ago today, I wouldn't have even thought that it would sell in eight countries. Let alone across three continents!

Oh hey, it's me, posting about my book. Again.

But it's finally out! Both physically and as an e-book! Complete with Old Norse translations of each poem!

https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&page=1&pageSize=10&q=Nico+solheim-davidson+North+Sea+Rune+Poems

[qldqueerboy]

It is one of those days when your strong opinions about the behaviour of a person is about to be shattered. The disruptive energy they demonstrate around you gets washed away in feelings of compassion and love. It is as if you are beginning to understand them with fresh eyes and cherish how much value they actually make in your life rather than just a constant thorn in your side.