#Rook meta

[liaragaming]

Thinking about themes of regret and who Rook is supposed to be:

Rook, in general, is someone who wants to be a hero. They want to do that right thing. Every single faction background has them making some seemingly heroic decision that backfires so badly they have to be sent away for a while. Like, that's pretty damn bad.

And Varric, he likes the screw-up energy. It's familiar. It reminds him of Hawke who was always in the wrong place at the wrong time but always managed to step up. And he says, "Hey, kid. Come with me."

And Rook doesn't have anything better to do, and saving the world sounds pretty damn great and like a chance to redeem themselves. But then they screw that up too and release two blighted golds.

And I imagine that Rook needs Varric to have survived that ritual. Because as much as they want to be the hero, they keep screwing it up. They've lost confidence in themselves at this point. They're pretty certain they aren't ready for a leadership role. They need Varric to get out of bed and tell them what to do.

Imagine the regret of choosing the wrong city to save in Act 1. Or the wrong companion to die in Act 3 (Rook's love interest or their best friend). Or maybe with multiple companions quests, Rook makes the wrong choice.

Imagine Rook being a foil to Solas. Varric says Solas wants to be the hero but that playing the villain is easier because then it means he didn't fail. But Rook has faced failure again and again and hasn't given up. By the end of the game, they have put their regrets behind them and are ready once more to play the hero. And that's what makes them able to stop Solas more than anything else.

That's who I think Rook is supposed to be.

[damallarky]

Ok. So I got my Rook’s backstory planned out guys.

His name is Renan. He’s a Mage and a traveling musician who busks in and around Minrathous. Rook is his stage name.

He is the brother of my canon Inquisitor, Aisling Lavellan. There are five siblings in total. Ren is the oldest, and Aisling is the middle child.

His surname isn’t Lavellan, though. Gotta see what the names are in DA:V.

More under the cut!

His father was a former circle mage and his mother was a Dalish hunter.

Morag, Ren’s father, was part of a team of four mages given special permission from their circle to study ancient elven ruins to “further enhance Chantry understanding of Thedas and its history.” Jokes on them because the four Templars that were assigned to babysit the group were all mage sympathizers (one was in a relationship with one of the mages in the group, one had a mage sister who he cared about deeply, the youngest Templar was a good friend of Morag's and the last one just didn't care lol) so they basically let him get married and have kids while he was still technically doing what he set out to do.

The family traveled a lot from ruin to ruin. At some point, the group is called back to return to the Circle, but everyone decides to lie and say Morag "died" so he can stay with his family.

The good times don't last, though. Eventually, word gets out that there is an apostate running around, and Templars are sent to bring Morag back. During the process, their parents are killed, and the kids get separated, with Ren being caught by slavers and sold to Tevinter and the rest of his siblings being adopted into Clan Lavellan.

(Consequently, the reason Aisling begged to go to the conclave was because she was hoping she’d find Ren there, not realizing he never made it to a circle.)

Ren spends four years as a slave. His master's wife notices that he has a lovely singing voice and a talent for music, so she teaches him how to play the lute, harp, harpsichord, flute, and anything else she wants him to. He enjoys it because he loves music, but he knows that he is basically being kept as a pet to show off when the mood strikes.

(This is also when he meets the spirit Hope, who ends up taking the form of a Rook. She is also the inspiration behind Ren's stage name.)

At seventeen, he had a clandestine affair with his master's daughter, who was the same age as him. I think they were friends, and they cared about each other, but their relationship was more about teenage lust and Ren's cockiness than anything else. There was also maybe a little bit of a power imbalance that Ren doesn't really consider until much, much later in life. When his master's wife finds out, she is furious and orders Ren whipped within an inch of his life. He probably would have died had the daughter not begged her father to intervene. Ren is sent off to work with the rest of the household slaves. The other slaves were delighted to learn that the golden boy wasn't so golden after all, and they made his life hell.

Nine months later, Ren is summoned by his master. He learns that he has gotten his master's daughter pregnant. On her request, Ren is given his freedom on the condition that he takes the child (a boy) and never speaks a word of it to anyone.

He accepts and leaves a free man. He names his son Morag, Mor for short, after his father.

Except now he's a kid with a kid, with no money and nowhere to go in a country that actively treats his people like chattel. He's scared, and as a result, he does many things he is not proud of, things that he ends up regretting later in life, like drinking heavily and not being as good of a father to Mor as he should have been.

To support himself and his son, Ren becomes a musician and plays at bars and brothels, wherever he can get work. While busking, he meets an elven woman named Leena. Their relationship is difficult at first, but eventually, Ren decides to get his shit together, and the two eventually fall in love.

They get married, and after a while, they have their daughter, Esana. At some point, they both join the Shadow Dragons. During a mission, Leena is badly wounded and later dies of an infection. This almost causes Ren to fall off the bandwagon and back into his addiction. He, through great effort, manages to stop himself for the sake of his children who need him. The withdrawals were horrible, and it was one of the hardest things he ever had to do, but he did it because he loves his kids so much, and he wants to be a good father to them.

This is why he only drinks water, juice, or wine occasionally.

He still works for the Shadow Dragons, and now his son is beginning to work for them, too, despite the fact that Ren would rather he not put himself in danger.

More Facts

Ren is either 36 or 38, depending on how long it's been since Inquisition.

That would make Mor either 19 or 21.

Whatever the case, Esana is 13.

Mor is a mage like both of his parents. He fights more like a rogue, however. Veil ranger perhaps?

Esana's magic hasn't awakened (yet) but recently she has been having nightmares of monsters wanting her to "let them in".

Ren is a Dreamer like his father! He finds the Fade slightly annoying.

Mor was originally going to be revealed later in my Rook's story, which is why he didn't show up in my Rook's prologue fic.

Ren uses humor so he doesn't have to think about his emotions. It drives Hope nuts.

Hope is the GOAT of the bunch. Mor probably wouldn't have survived to young adulthood had it not been for Hope.

Hope is still relatively new to the whole "not being an actual spirit" thing. Like Cole, she still feels fairly compelled to provide hope to those who need it. Except now, she also eats mice and steals shiny things.

Esana unfortunately inherited her father's lack of self-preservation.

Esana and Mor are close despite their age difference. Mor is the best big brother.

Ren and Solas are going to drive each other insane. Especially once it's revealed just who the Inquisitor is. Ren and Solas will eventually find they have a lot in common and will both help each other heal in the end.

Idk where it will go in the actual game, but for now, I'm deciding that Ren and Solas will become very dear to one another. Bestie-in-Laws.

The family sitcom is called My Brother-in-Law the Dread Wolf.

Ren is very jealous of Solas's Dread Wolf form. Solas delights in this fact.

I also do not know who Ren is going to romance. I have never struggled so hard to make that choice.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[galedekarios]

🌹 emmrich & flowers 🌹

emmrich has this banter with harding, where she asks him if he ever thought about what he would have done if he hadn't become a watcher.

he doesn't have an answer at the time she asks him, it comes to him later, after some thought:

emmrich: a botanist! harding: what? emmrich: i considered your earlier question, and if i weren't a watcher, i should like to become one of the great botanists. harding: (laughs) emmrich: is that funny? harding: it's funny because it's perfect. i can totally see it. harding: you, tending to your garden. sniffing dirt. discovering new plants. gently asking the slugs to leave your roses alone. emmrich: i should think so! i would've spent a lot of time on those roses. [source]

not only does it make a lot of sense given how much emmrich loves flowers, a part of his questline being dedicated to gathering them, but it also made me think about a headcanon for emmrich.

an emmrich, who is coming to terms with his feelings for rook and thinking about how to show them (again, according to harding, both of them are quite obvious about it), drawing up ideas and overthinking a complete bouquet arrangement for rook.

he's not only set on picking beautiful flowers that create an even more beautiful greater whole, but a bouquet that holds meaning.

every single flower he picks reveals his thoughts and feelings and hopes, beautiful and complex as they are.

bluebells for humility (alluding to his "you humble me." line), gladiolus in honour of rook's strength of character and determination ("there's also something quite indomitable about you."), heliotropes for an undying love (a "flame eternal", if you will), and perhaps even beautiful and classic red roses (a true love, bashful love).

it would of course be up to you if your rook understands the deeper meaning behind the gesture, but i'd like to think emmrich wouldn't mind explaining.

it does make me laugh to imagine rook listening to emmrich details each flower meaning like

[veilkeeper]

there's something interesting about emmrich's hangout being so... structured and composed. everyone else's hangout is under the guise of some sort of errand, yes, but they're very casual and free-form. whereas with emmrich, he's taking you on this tour of the memorial gardens in the necropolis. and it is a tour—when he shows you the undead tableaux, it feels like he's reading off a script with the way he describes it to rook, tour guide style. and later, when he opens up to rook, it is always him initiating with the distinct feeling of something being said on purpose, like he had prepared to discuss it.

the flirt at the end gives a romance-flavoured explanation: that he was specifically trying to impress rook, that this is an attempt to endear himself to them. and in a lot of ways, it does look like that: he takes rook to one of the most beautiful, peaceful places he knows, opens up to them about his past, and then he has tea set up at the end of it, like a good host. (he is also rather caught off guard when you flirt with him here, and it could be interpreted as him being embarrassed at being caught out, or trying to walk it back so he doesn't offend).

however.... i don't really think that was his intention? this is probably coloured by the fact that i feel like, comparatively, emmrich has had very few one on one interactions with rook to this point and he breezes by the only flirt before this, but i don't think he walked into the memorial gardens with any intention to charm or otherwise woo rook, here. i think his intention was to get them alone and get an honest read on how they felt about him. specifically, about his work as a necromancer.

if you've rotated different people through the party with him, and if you've paid attention to the conversations he's had with others in the lighthouse, it becomes abundantly clear basically immediately that everyone has opinions on necromancy, and they largely fall into the territory of distrusting, put off, or even outright disgusted by it. a lot of emmrich's early banter with several party members is him going about the pretty exhausting ordeal of defending his magic, the mourn watch, his fields of study, manfred's existence, etc. and because of the lack of one on one time with rook, i'd be surprised if he felt like he'd really had an opportunity to get a read on what his new colleague actually thinks about it all.

so i think he is trying to impress rook, just... not like that. i think he's trying to prove that the necropolis is beautiful, that it's laden in history and rituals that mean something. that the mourn watch is good (the sort of order that would take in an orphan, and give him purpose and structure), and that even necromancers can fear death. i think he's trying to prove that he's a person, under all the misconceptions about his work that seem to go around the lighthouse when he isn't looking.

and i think that's why he looks so taken aback and genuinely surprised when rook flirts with him at the end—because it really wasn't his intention, but he recovers fast enough to pivot with grace. i don't think he's uninterested, i just think he wasn't sure rook could be.

[livingsurreal]

More thoughts and theories about our favorite Necromancer

My darlings, I have too many thoughts and my obsession is running wild. (How I missed you, hyperfocus). If you have read my last meta post about our Emmrich, here it is: First Meta Post

That is not a required read however. I am still wondering why anyone is reading my word vomit U_U

Anyway, I love reading other peoples theories, so please, send me yours. <3 And a lot of thanks and love for all you darlings who make this fandom such a beautiful and nice place. Especially to @jaal-ama-daravv - who makes the most beautiful videos, and writes such wonderful character studies.

Warning, from here on there will be spoilers as well as mentions of sex. If you don't want to read about any of that, do not read the rest.

Also pictures and way too many words. This is a ten page word document, save yourself while you can. I tend to go off on a tangent once I start writing. I am also well aware that not everyone will agree. This is just my personal read on Emmrich.

Now, after my first essay I have some more thoughts on Emmrich and Rook and specifically their intimate relationship.

Emmrich is such an interesting and baffling contradiction. On the one hand he is confident, self-assured, all manners and poise. He is smart, and he knows it. He has special gifts, and he knows it.  He is confident without being proud. He likes to teach others without being arrogant. He still likes to learn about new things and is, as far as I’ve seen, never judgmental about different beliefs and ways of life. (Unless someone treats him with disdain or bully him)

He is a man who is confident speaking of his thoughts and feelings and fears. How he just casually drops his thanatophobia is just astonishing. He is honest and open-minded in the best ways.

And then there is the other side of him. The wet kitten side of him. As open and honest as he is about his emotions, when we get to the meat of it, to the scary bit, the real feely bit, he locks up completely. As long as it is surface level (or he can pretend its surface level), everything is up for discussion. But once we reach deeper and touch *love* he gets so scared and refuses to admit and commit to his feelings. And as much *death* scares him, love scares him more.

So how does that influence his intimate relationship with Rook?

According to the banter with Lace “everyone knows about it”. He was rather surprised by that.

That tells us two things:

They were trying to be sneaky or at least keep their private business private.

They failed, massively.

Add to that Laces comment about them moving rather fast (when, where? I would have loved to have seen that. Comments like that just give me the feeling that we should have had some more cutscenes after the dinner date, to show us those two besotted fools).

But back to them moving rather fast. I would guess that they both did a lot of gazing lovingly at each other, blushing, spacing out while watching their darling, stollen kisses in the hallway when they thought no one was watching, stuff like that. Just being to besotted fools.

But moving fast usually includes sex. Lots of needy, sweaty sex. The inability to keep their hands of each other.

That moves us to the question of the day – did they have sex before their coffin time?

Let’s look at what we know about Emmrich. Emmrich is no virgin. That man has experience. He had past lovers. But what he tells us at that sweet diner date – “nothing serious for years.” We know not much else besides his crush on a boy in his youth and his fling with the Orlesian Art Lady. He is not someone to kiss and tell and that is appreciated. That man has class, and we love him for it.

So - nothing SERIOUS for years. If he hadn’t had ANY relationships in the past years, he would have said so. But what he says is that he did, in fact, have UNSERIOUS relationships in the last few years.

I would read that to be somewhere along the “fwb, lovers, affairs, paramours, companions, a fling, a little romance” line. Something not purely, but mainly physically driven. Someone you like and respect, you can go out and have a good time with, have lots of amazing sex with (b/c he is a living being and has his needs). Spending time with people he liked, was sexually attracted too, but nothing as serious as love. A physical relationship. A little thrill, some fluttering, but never that deep.

Not to say that those situationships would not have been romantic. He is (buried under all that resignation) a deeply romantic man. I am pretty sure he went on nice romantic dates with his previous paramours too. That this is something he just enjoys too much. Treating a companion with some quality time, not just in, but also out of the bedroom.

But after he’d given up on his dreams, he did not have any notion of those flings being more than a “enjoy the moment”. There was never the expectation of deeper feelings, beyond friendship, attraction and/or respect. All those romantic gestures were nothing more than a little bit of “play pretend”. To give himself the illusion of true romance, just for a little time.

Take the fact that you can go a “everything you do is creepy but I still flirt with you and I want you to throw me over that tombstone” and his comment on “the attraction of the forbidden”? This is not a relationship born of mutual respect and deeper feelings but out of purely physical attraction. And he is OK with that.

I want to repeat – Emmrich is very much okay with a casual, sexual affair. He does not require love to have a relationship with someone.

And then think about that Johanna calls Rook specifically his “paramour”. Which is a lover, especially an illicit one. This word was very specifically chosen by Johanna. For various reasons, I would think.

For one, I do believe that it is a dig at his dreams of the eternal flame. It’s a dig at him, that Rook is not his love, but his paramour. A lover for a time. To be parted from soon enough. B/c that silly dream of his, as if it ever would become reality.

Second, I think it is a comment on the way his relationships often went, especially in the past years. Those unserious flings of his. Never to amount to anything substantial.

Did he try to have something serious in the past? Oh yes, for sure. But it never worked out. Then he gave up his dream and just let himself have a good time with people he found to be nice and attractive.

To pick up my point of self-sabotage from my last meta post – I’ve come to a point where I believe Emmrich is a kind of chaser. I know someone like that and it’s so fucking tragic.

Emmrich feels deeply and strongly. When he falls in love with someone it’s a lot of emotion. But at that point it’s all dream, want, wish. As soon as someone returns these feelings - those dreams, wants and wishes become reality. And reality is scary. In this wishful dream about the eternal flame, there is no fear. No fights. No loss. But that is not reality. As soon as it becomes reality, he gets scared. Before, his feelings were no threat, because you can’t lose what you don’t have. Once those feelings are returned, there is a clear possibility of losing, of being lost, of being left behind.

Emmrich is not a chaser because he enjoys the hunt. He is a chaser because being loved by someone is scary. So damn scary. So, he starts to pick fights and is looking for excuses. From being the chaser, he becomes the chased. He is hunted by his fears, and his fight or flight instincts go all flight.

After years of this cycle he gives up. Resigns himself to flings and little romances without even thinking of more. Or so he thinks. Dreams like that don’t die, they just get buried.

And I’d think that there was not many, even of those short term flings, lately. His life revolves around work and Manfred.

Now remember he comments on Rook “showing unexpected interest in a new companion”.

First of all – unexpected.

They are a daring adventurer. He thinks of himself clearly as the more boring one, compared to Rook. He never expected any of those flirts. But he is clearly flattered.

Second – companion.

That was such a weird way of saying “hey do you like me?”. This whole “companion” thing does not scream “I have FEELZ for you/you have FEELZ for me” but rather, “I think you might want to spend some quality time with me”.

The possible answers - dashing good looks, kindness, his way of words.

He feels he is fortunate if Rook thinks him good looking. Hallo, Mr. Professor, sir… Have you looked in the mirror lately? Consider that he is meticulously grooming himself, takes his exercises daily in the morning. That man does not like himself aging. I think it is a reminder of how his pending death is a step closer every day. But it shows, to him, that his efforts of taking care of himself are not in vain. Or maybe it shows him that his age does not matter. Rook finds him attractive despite (or because) of his physical age.

Rooks comment on his very charming way of putting things makes him hope his years behind the lectern have proved useful. Hey *years* behind the lectern. Again, this is a way of saying his age is NOT a problem but a benefit.

If Rook remarks his kindness, he answers “you humble me”. It’s the one answer that does not touch his age/experience/looks. It’s a remark on an innate character trait he possesses. Kindness. His whole demeanor in this option shows he is actually touched. And maybe a bit baffled. He did not expect this, at all. Its like he sees his kindness not as an attractive trait. Which he should. He is nice without TM and its sexy as hell.

The next part is his statement “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery… that would interest me, indeed”. This reads to me not necessarily as “do you have feelings for me” but as “do you just enjoy the flirting, or do you want to do more than flirting?”

And oh boy, does he want to do more than flirting. I want to repeat my earlier statement – this man has given up on love. But some little fling with an exiting young adventure who was constantly, awkwardly flirting with him? Hell, yeah.

(I want to remind you that we were able to have mutually enjoyed flirts with Dorian as fem!Inky. You can flirt with someone and still never want to fuck them. And you are also perfectly able to want more than flirting without having deeper feelings. Like sweet, dump Shepaloo said it so eloquently “Lets bang, okay?”)

Again, I want to pick up a point of my last post, that this is all surface level thoughts. I do believe that their emotional attraction and depth of feelings go deeper, from the start. But how often does it take quite a bit of time to realize one’s own feelings. Especially this wonderful, silly man whose modus operandi is running away.

Now, an interested Rook can answer in an open “lets see where this goes” way. Mirroring his rather open idea of a little romance, a fling, some quality time. Something that does not have to end in an eternal flame, but a simple enjoyment and exploration of the moment.

Rook can also reply with a “I think they do.” – What Rook actually says is “I think they already…”

And conveniently Rooks answer here is cut short by our sweet boy Manfred. They get cut short, no matter what answer you choose, but in this specific case, I am convinced this was very much on purpose. What would the whole sentence have been?

“I think they already go way beyond flattery.” (?!?) Something along those lines. But that goes into danger zone. WAY into danger zone.

If Rook had finished that sentence, at that point in their budding romance? It would have been over before is all started. Too much, too soon. Too much for him, period.

Now we have the hard lock – their sweet romantic moment in the Memorial Gardens. And he is smitten. He fell hook, line, and sinker for his own play pretend. Just a little romance, but that man is falling, fast. (Not that he would admit that to himself).

A beautiful date, all arranged by Emmrich, to spend time with Rook. Because a couple should have a quite moment to get to know each other. I mean there were menu cards with gilded edges, ffs. And, oh yes, they were “lets dig into the feelings”, he said couple. He is falling, falling, falling fast. But it still hasn’t hit him, how deep he has fallen for his darling Rook. Poor Emmrich.

Then a fight, where we really see the wet kitten side of him for the first time. A little wet, feral kitten, hissing at the hand that’s trying to feed it.

Emmrich is lashing out for no good reason (or no good reason for anyone but himself). There is no real confidence there but a desperate act of pretending. An iron (slipping) grip, trying to control himself and the narrative. Shoulders squared, back straight, an arrogant stance, raised chin, turned half-away from Rook, and a condescending way of talking to Rook.

Like I said in my last post – he is working his way up to breaking up with them. And he tells himself it’s like ripping off a bandaid. Be strong and confident and say what you have to say, and they will see the wisdom of that.

It’s only that, they don’t. Because there IS NO wisdom in what he is doing right now. They don’t take his bullshit but throw it back at him. They don’t accept his mock excuses.

Look at him here, how he looks down ON them. I can’t recall any other time he looks down on Rook, despite him being a tall king.

Especially the route where Rook throws it in his face that he DOES in fact love them. Speak what he can’t even think.

“I can’t… At my…”

“I can’t love you. At my age…” Why not? Does he not deserve love, just because he is a bit older? It’s just heartbreaking how he views himself.

And again, he lashes out.

“I am perfectly serious.” So is Rook.

“One of us has to pay attention to these things.” As if Rook is not paying attention. They got to the meat and bones of his problem in just a few seconds.

No matter what route you go here, the gist is the same. He is scared shitless, treats Rook like a child, and goes on how the is the only one thinking the important thoughts.

When Rook in reality way ahead of him. They thought about it and came to the conclusion that being with Emmrich is a really good idea.

Rook knew they were falling for someone older than them. (Even if that age difference is just a decade, with a mid-40s Rook.) They knew it, and still went with it. They are not a child who is too inexperienced and stupid to make decisions about their (love) life.

But now, here, at this moment? Emmrich treats them with disdain. Like a silly little person, who does not think things through. He holds himself above them. Physically and mentally. They are too young, he knows better.

And not once has he done that before. He always treated them as an equal. He follows them into the most dangerous situations ffs. He trusts them with his life in a fight against would-be gods.

All that fear and anger at himself that reaches a new high get redirected at Rook.

The next day they are off to Tearstone Island. That night must have been hell. For both of them. But its going to get much much worse.

In any case, Emmrich seems to have come to some conclusion or realization, because on that island? He apologizes.

They both did react very emotionally, but he came at Rook with superiority and, to a certain degree, dishonesty. All fueled by his fear. So that he is the one to take the first step and apologize to Rook instead of doubling down? An important step. As I said in my last post – he NEEDED to be called out. A sweet and nice counterargument would not have had the impact Rooks raw an honest emotion hat on him.

Emmrich “Rook? Darling? I wanted to say-“

Rook “Yeah, about that argument…”

Emmrich “(Sighs) It’s no time to apologize, is it?”

And here we have the most heartbreaking line, in hindsight. “We’ll talk back home, Emmrich. I promise.”

(Narrator: but they would, in fact, not talk about it back home. Because someone would not go home.)

One fight and weeks of horror later, they find themselves in a private crypt and finally they do more than share a kiss.

Now - to the point I originally wanted to explore with this post – is this in fact their first time? (I am sorry, but my brain is a circle and nothing makes sense)

Let’s look at what evidence we have from the cut-scene.

Rook did not know he is an early riser.

That leaves two possibilities:

They never had sex up until that point.

They did have sex, but never spent the night together.

Now what does that mean?

This depends a lot on your personal Rook and how they feel about sex in general. If Rook wants to wait, or is not ready, he will absolutely accept and respect that.

But for the sake of this analysis lets go with the idea that Rook is not opposed to sex at an earlier date.

They never slept with each other

Why? He clearly was not opposed to casual relationships in the past. What would hold him back now? Especially if you recall Laces comment about them moving fast. Why not jump into the bedroom?

Now my first crack theory is that they get interrupted, like every time. (Rook interrupted The Dread Wolf, and now he cursed them to always be interrupted when they want to have some private time)

But now, in all seriousness, maybe it’s just that part of him DOES realize that this goes beyond a very unserious relationship. That they both have deeper feelings, that spark of something greater, something beautiful.

So, he holds back. He does not give his all. He is charming, he is flirty, he takes Rook on dates. But it’s all very technical. Very performative. Yes, he is a very romantic man, yes he enjoys those moments. But there is always a feeling of control.

Those moments when you see him let go a bit (that kiss beneath the eternal lovers, “I think, sometimes you indulge me”), are so beautiful and you glimpse a bit of the man behind those walls.

He has a tell, you see. (I am telling you about it further down)

But generally, he feels very much in control of himself. And to lie with Rook? To go all the way? Too dangerous. Who knows what happens in that sweet moment after la petit mort? What secrets would his lips spill?

2. They slept together, but did not spent the night together.

They do have sex, but sleep alone in their own beds. Casual sex is fine, but to fall asleep in each other’s arms? Too much. Too real. Sex okay, but sleepy post coitus cuddly? Woah, slow down your horses.

So, they have sex, preferably in Rooks bed. First, does he even have a bed? Second, it’s way easier to leave Rooks bed after the act, than throwing them out afterwards.

Oh, and how many reasons he has. Rook needs their uninterrupted sleep; they are stressed and must have proper rest. He wants to get some reading done before he retires. He needs to look after Manfred.

Oh, he is a bad liar, for sure. He is lying more to himself than to Rook. I would think that (if this is the build up to their fight) Rook realizes that he is giving poor excuses.

And the sex itself? A technical 10/10. He knows his anatomy, after all. But his heart is not really in it. He can’t allow himself to. He holds back, keeps a tight lid on his emotions. They both are well spent afterwards, but like so much else, it’s performative. Technically very well executed, but rarely do you see HIM, the real him, behind all that performance. Whenever something slips through, he reels back and closes up.

And then we are in that crypt. Rook was gone for weeks. The last thing they said that night before were words of anger. Rook called him out on his feelings and from that point on there was no possible way of lying to himself anymore. Those feelings were there. They were real. Rooks feelings were real. And those weeks spent in desperation, trying to  get them back? Those walls came crashing down.

His true face, when all the walls are gone? You see that face when Rook leads him to the coffin. There is no pretense anymore. No performance. Just him, and all his love for Rook. The amount of emotion the animation team packed into those short moments in the cutscene? Mindblowing. Who ever crafted that expression on his face? They are the GOAT. I watch this part of that scene on repeat, and it never gets old.

So, I told you about how he has a tell, yes? Okay, two actually, but we all know surprised pikachu Emmrich. In that last scene it is resolved in the most beautiful way.

He looks down, when something touches him deeply, when he goes into his feels.

A few (way to many) examples:

And the worst wet kitten look? After the fight, when Rook leaves.

Its a look of shame. Of hurt. This man is hurting so badly.

Now here at the end we have that moment when Rook leads him to the coffin. His face turns down, like before. But here he looks up at Rook. He does not turn his eyes away but looks directly at them. Ahhh my heart.

Now, think about the fact that ROOK is leading in that moment?

In those moments where Rook leads or startles him (or is simply annoying enough so that the truth slips out), you see the most emotion from him.

Rooks flirting startles him, and he has a pikachu face reaction every time.

Their first kiss? Rook leans against the monument, and leans up, telling him without words that NOW is the time for a kiss. How can he not go for a second kiss?

That moment when Rook calls Manfred “our son”? He very conveniently ignores the word “OUR” and goes in defense mode over the word “son”. But called out on his feelings for Manfred? How can he deny them? He has tears in his voice when he says how he would not exchange this moment for anything? A real, deep emotion.

In their fight Emmrich is again all technical, all performance, so logical (or what he sells himself as logic). But Rook wrestles that moment from him and takes lead, calls him out on his bullshit.

In the crypt Rook pulls him up into a kiss and then leads him to the coffin, guiding him, taking him with them.

Most of the other times he takes the lead, very much in control. But the most emotions you get from him, are those times Rooks leads, when he lets go of this tight control over himself, or he is startled in to a reaction. For all the age difference that is played up in their relationship, in the important moments Rook is the one who guides. And he follows where they lead.

Those little moans he makes? If they did have sex before, I bet he did not make those sounds then. Where they did have some incredible sex, now they are making love. Open, vulnerable. He gives in.

And then they fall asleep together. Skin to skin, arms and legs intertwined. Their hands caressing, no sound but that of their heartbeats and soft breaths. Pure and utter contentment. In that moment nothing exists but them. Can you imagine that moment he woke up? The amount of emotions he must have felt then? This need to speak those little words? Those huge little words. He does not say them, not yet. But he is almost ready.  

Finally, they stand there, on the battlefield of Elgar’nans madness. And he tells Rook. The last wall falls. Gives the most precious thing he can give to anyone.

“I love you.”

[lion-writer]

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons and fics where Viago disapproves of Rook getting together with Lucanis. And ones that focus on how an alliance with the De Rivas benefits House Dellamorte, which is definitely true, and i fucking love them, but consider Viago probably couldn’t possibly ask for a better partner for Rook.

Though to be fair I am obsessed with Viago and his belief that he could restore the royal power of Treviso and that “He will not be satisfied until he sits upon a throne.”

While as a talon, he’s definitely more powerful than the king, and he could probably easily overthrow his father and take the throne. But that's probably not his biggest issue, because as my old history teacher used to say, “Power cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred”, so by restoring the power of the royal family, he’d be taking power away from the merchant princes and the other talons. Which, it’s probably safe to assume they wouldn't be happy about”. (Also as a side note, the quote “It’s not paranoia if they’re out to get you” is applicable here. Viago is a man planning to make A Lot of enemies)

And remember, this man is still the 5th talon, and while he’s allied with Teia, she’s also only the 7th talon. (Though they definitely should have gotten a promotion after the events of 8 little talons). So he’s not really in any position to actually make any power play, not unless he wants to piss off 6 of the other houses. 

Thankfully, depending on the choices you make, by the end of Veilguard, he’s almost certainly up there among the most powerful people in Antiva, given that he was a key player in ending the occupation of a major city by the Antaam, not to mention the killing of a Literal Evil God. The only Antivans that could be more influential than him at this moment is Teia, who he’s dating and let's be honest, will eventually marry, Rook, who’s his protege, 

Among those people, Lucanis is probably the most politically powerful, given that he’s done everything Viago has, in addition to the fact that he actually killed a god, and is now The First Talon. While I feel that he would support Viago in the bid for the throne, he’s also the only one who Viago doesn’t have any sort of formal alliance with. And considering Viago’s general distrust towards basically everyone, he wouldn’t place that much trust in the bonds of friendship, (especially if you believe that he thinks that Lucanis’s attempt at flirting was a threat).

But given the general political upheaval Antiva is probably already in right now, because It’s highly doubtful that Governor Ivenci was the only guy to make deals with the Antaam or Venatori for power, there’s no better time for Viago to make a play for power. With everything so recent it would be so easy for him to step forwards as a figure for people to rally behind, I mean he exposed corruption in the government, he freed Treviso, he trained a god killer, and he’s the son of the king. But If he waits, he kinda does risk somebody else stepping forth.

But after Ivenci’s attempt at getting rid of the crows and the whole Illario debacle, the other Talons would be very suspicious of anyone trying to take power, and while Viago is a Crow, he’s also an infamous curmudgeon who doesn’t really get along with the others. 

Luckily, Lucanis is head over heels for Rook, which cements an alliance with House Dellamorte. And well, there’s quite a historical precedent, especially in Antiva, for alliances and weddings to go hand in hand. Not to mention the message it would send to the other talons for Viago to give away Rook, his protege for whom he has already demonstrated a soft spot for, to The First Talon, arguably The Face of the Crows. In addition, a grand high profile Wedding between two heroes who just saved the world, is the perfect thing for the general public to associate Viago with after everything. 

I mean I’m pretty sure he would still grumble about it and he’d definitely let Lucanis know that if he ever dared to hurt Rook, Lucanis would wish he was still trapped in the Ossuary. But once he’s certain that they’re serious about each other, Teia and him would be the first people to start bugging them about marriage.

[ofcrowsanddragons]

Rookanis and Romance Archetypes

I have longer thoughts that I should probably write out, but here's where I'm at with Lucanis and Rook as a romance (I Love Them).

First of all, when you're looking at the capital-R Romance genre (not to be confused with the Romanticism movement, because we WILL be here all day), one of the most important bits of analysis to start with is determining what the "fantasy" might be and who it's for. Judgement-free. Occasionally, a friend will approach me about a book, boggled that all their friends like it, and we'll play this game. "What's the fantasy" is important, because otherwise we get bogged down with judgements like "Don't women know that a love interest like this would be bad for them?"

Yes, usually. Take the older stereotypical bodice ripper where the love interest kidnaps the heroine and carries her away to have his way with her. In this fantasy, the heroine is perceived as beautiful and irresistible and doesn't have to cross the social boundary of Having Desire. Another version of this is more common today (in the books that people will admit to reading), and that's the fantasy where the heroine has desire, but the love interest is uniquely capable of intuiting it and returning it.

Coming back to Veilguard:

Lucanis/Rook is flipped in-game, as far as romance archetypes go. For all that Rook is the protagonist of the game at large, you get hints in early game flirting scenes that this romance isn't going to go the way you might be expecting. When it comes down to it, Rook is the love interest, and Lucanis is the hero (i.e., the character referred to more commonly as the heroine).

In the romance arc, of the two of them, Lucanis is the one with the Disney/musical theatre "I want" song. The fantasy is for someone to see him as he is and to reach out for him where he's at. This feels impossible at the beginning! He's newly an abomination, he's a killer, and he feels that there's something deeply wrong with him as a human being—that there always has been.

His fantasy becomes that as he works through his current family issues, his dangerous supernatural malady*, and his sometimes panicked response to the pressure of saving the world, there's half a chance that there might be someone who will wait for him at the end of it. And when he gets to the point where he can face the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, there will still be someone who looks at him and sees something better than what he sees in himself.

The fantasy for the player is an uncommon one, for the romance genre: it's the fantasy of being capable of being that person to someone else. Rook can be capable of handling anything life throws at them. Rook doesn't need to be afraid of any kind of violence. More importantly, Rook can be worthy of that kind of trust.

Next time, I argue that Neve/Lucanis and Rook/Lucanis are both illustrations of healing in a positive direction, but in different ways.

*Don't @ me over this. Being fused together the way they are is dangerous for both Spite and Lucanis

[ollypopwrites]

They pulled Rook out of the fade only hours ago, and the first thing Emmrich hears as he leaves his room with an urgent letter meant for the Mourn Watch is weeping or at the very least talking (depending on your own headcanon) from the infirmary.

He’s heard Rook talking to Varric before, he’s felt the ache of empathy — his first instinct to reach out his hand and introduce his parents. I understand, it’s sprinkled through every turn through the Gardens.

Victory to the living. Shrines and deep affection for those who had walked amongst them who no longer do — understanding that the pomp and circumstance around death is also for those left behind and not just the dead themselves.

The Mourn Watch isn’t just a catchy name or a legacy, it’s a promise. Initiate Watchers are first and foremost introduced to the importance of grief. The entire reason they exist is to acknowledge the importance of a life lived. For every wail from a loved one was countless moments of joy, laughter, pain, love, and countless other emotions. Proof that a person mattered.

He’s heard weeping/final goodbyes so often, it never stops pulling at his heart strings, but over time it has become a comfort. But it hurts more to hear Rook.

Rook who has comforted every companion with a loss. Bellara and Cyrian. Davrin and his fellow Wardens. Harding and the Titans. Neve and Dock Town/the Viper or Alia’s victims. Lucanis and Caterina or Treviso and the blighted Crows. Taash and Shathaan. Emmrich and his lichdom or Manfred.

Rook has held their hand, been their strength and their guidance so they can all come out on the other side and become Heroes of the Veilguard.

Meanwhile, Rook’s been stuck in a state of denial for almost a year. Toyed with, offered empty hope that Varric was just hurt, just needed time to recover but was still their comfort and mentor. He was holding their hand while Rook became the Leader of the Veilguard. He was there whenever Rook had doubts or felt overwhelmed.

But none of it was real. And acceptance of the loss of Varric was forced on Rook at the same time Rook watched one of their companions die, thinking at least Lucanis had also joined them, and then got stuck in a prison meant to play on one of the hardest things to grapple with: regret.

For 3 weeks one of Emmrich’s dearest friends/his partner has been missing, only to come out of the Fade with fresh grief no one on the team knew they hadn’t yet had to face. And that’s what Emmrich is supposed to be good at.

That’s Mourn Watch basics. That’s everything he sees so often and affects him so deeply with his corpse whispering. It’s what he faced when he lost his parents. It is part of the reason he is as empathetic and gentle as he is.

But Solas put Rook through a long unwitting torture that was so convincing, so delicately played, that in turn Rook convinced the entire team nothing was amiss.

So, while I believe that, yes, Emmrich is fascinated by Solas. Emmrich has empathy for solas. Emmrich does have academic curiosities and interest in speaking with him.

I don’t believe, as a man who loves what the Mourn Watch does and who very dearly loves Rook (platonically or romantically), he’d have nothing to say about the cruelty of what Solas did to them.

[thevulturesquadron]

Underrated Solas moment in Velguard is when you speak to him after saving the Dalish. He seems exhausted, but also the most relaxed and at peace he’s ever been throughout the game.

The way the dialogue is structured also helps. It starts by you leading the conversation with questions and it’s not about saving the world or about the conflict, it’s about his own feelings (towards his elves of old and the dalish). If you throw a jab at him he doesn’t answer in spite, but in recognition. He accepts when you point out how similar he is to Elgar’nan and he admits how envious he is of Rook for having created a space and a place where they belong within their team.

It’s so interesting to me how even after all this time he’s not able to see he is at his happiest when he is part of the solution, side by side with people he trusts, in contrast with how miserable he is when he pridefully believes he alone has the answers. I love that exchange!

[boygirlbowie]

something symbolic about the fact that Edwin was almost dragged down in the lust room but Charles pulled him to safety. something about everywhere being hell if you punish yourself. Edwin has spent his whole life so repressed he grew up taught that the feelings he had were unnatural and then he met Charles who wore eyeliner and touched him like it was nothing and wouldnt stop smiling

anyways this post was inspired by this gifset but I know others have also giffed that scene :]

[hellamorte]

do you ever think about how lucanis keeps losing and losing and losing — his entire life? losing his parents, losing his childhood because of the crow training, losing his freedom, his sleep, and one year of his life due to imprisonment. then the maker smiles upon him, and he's discovering something good (rook, the veilguard team, purpose), acquiring something back (his family, his life, his freedom, his job, his city), finding some peace in mundane things (coffee, cooking, taking care of others). it feels like the scales are finally moving, balancing — only for him to lose again. he loses caterina, he can lose his city to blight, he loses at weisshaupt, he loses grip on himself (thanks to spite), he loses control — he loses himself, piece by piece. rook can help lighten the load on his chest (thanks to spite), he gets caterina back, and breathing feels a little bit easier. but loss is not done with him. he loses illario, and it feels like losing a limb, a large piece of himself violently torn away. he's visibly shaken, but no one truly knows what it takes to string the assorted pieces of himself together and keep functioning. and then loss deals what seems like the final blow: some of his friends are dead or lost, and rook is gone, too. he failed; he only knows death, doesn't he? life only takes, and takes, and takes, giving only to tease and take it back. at that moment, he's falling apart completely — until they find rook, and there's a sliver of hope once again. the scales are moving, the team wins, they eventually go back to their lives — and that's when he realizes that the final blow is the life as the first talon.

[vaguely-concerned]

huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.

(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)

it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.

love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)

such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?

one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.

follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.

through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.

[galedekarios]

emmrich & regret

emmrich: rook? darling? i wanted to say... rook: yeah, about that argument... emmrich: (sighs) it's no time to apologise, is it? rook: we'll talk back home, emmrich. i promise.

currently thinking about the fact that this is the last thing that emmrich and rook truly talk about before everything falls apart on tearstone island and they can't even do it in private, because the one chance they had, their moment to do so turned into an argument.

and not only did one friend die.

and not only is another friend missing, presumably also dead.

no, on top of all that tragedy -- that affects them all because the companions do care about each other. no matter who you picked, it's tragic: emmrich's picknick with harding and the long talks about their pasts, his discussions and warmth with bellara, his respect for neve and the little ways she cares so much, his friendship with davrin and the way both learn from each other in how to care for those in their care -- rook is gone, too. vanished.

and the last private moment they had ended in a heated argument.

i am willing to bet that "we'll talk back home, emmrich. i promise." is something that haunts emmrich during those long, long weeks that rook is trapped.

"we'll talk back home, emmrich. i promise." - not only is the use of 'home' very poignant and loaded and heatbreaking, but... they never do get to talk. then they never do get home. it's only he who does.

it's a promise broken.

it's a huge regret.

it's one of those little things that seem overwhelming in the face of loss and grief. the little things that you never got to do. the little things that you never get to make right. the little things that you never get so say. the way should have, could have, would have makes you spiral.

and emmrich would know, does have experience with it after losing his parents so abruptly, as well as within his professional duty's as a watcher, yet i think that would weigh heavily on him.

he's not prepared to lose rook. we see that time and time again in his human path and in his lich path as well:

emmrich: i will lose you to time, rook. what if i can’t bear that for eternity? - emmrich: i’m afraid i’ll mourn you forever.

i think it also explains very well why he insists on the visit to the necropolis, despite what's looming over the group. at first i thought it's a bit frivolous at this point in the game, until i realised why. he does it to be truly absolutely sure that all traces of whatever solas did to rook are gone:

emmrich: rook, dearest, please trust me. i must take you to the necropolis before we confront elgar'nan. - rook: did we have to risk visiting the necropolis? emmrich: i needed its subtler enchanments to detect what we must know. emmrich: there's no mark of the curse solas left on you. emmrich: darling, i thought i'd lost you forever in the fade. rook: if you and the others hadn't pulled me out...

emmrich doesn't want to repeat his (perceived) mistake. he doesn't want to lose them again, to leave things unfinished and to regret again.

and while i did wish we had an additional scene where we actually do have a chance to both address the argument rook and emmrich had in a meaningful way, addressing what happened after as well as emmrich's fears, it makes this final line in the romance scene all the sweeter:

emmrich: whatever is in store for us - together, my darling. that's how we'll face it. rook: i know.

[veilkeeper]

Emmrich's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Fear of Death

spoilers ahead! this is about the conversation with emmrich right after When Plans Align if you're romancing him.

(edit: please click this link for the extended version of this meta)

so that argument, huh? there's something so amazing, effervescent, and spectacular about a writer who knows there's something left on the table and they come back to it in a big way.

i talked about this in part one of my sacrifice of souls meta; about how while a decision re: emmrich's mortality had been made (one way or another), nothing had actually been done about his fear of death. and this is truly the perfect time for it to come back—it is the eve of battle against gods, and the likelihood of everyone making it back unscathed is low, to say the least. it absolutely makes sense that emmrich's fear of death is rearing its head now.

what's fascinating, of course, is that depending on which path he chose, the precise fear that he brings up changes. if he's human, he's afraid of his death. if he's a lich, he's afraid of yours.

big thanks to @/maxwellhousebrandcoffeefilter for providing me a clip of the argument when emmrich is still human, so that i can talk about both sides!! let's get into it.

Such Years Between Us

Even under the best circumstances, you will outlive me, Rook. You've... grown to mean much to me and... I care for you, Rook! Deeply. But there are such years between us, I shouldn't heap you with that burden.

this side of the argument is so interesting, because it actually has very little to do with the upcoming battle and is basically entirely about emmrich having to actually reckon with the fact that he's significantly older than rook for the first time. for so long in this romance i think he saw the lichdom as this like, beacon on the horizon. he didn't really think about the reality of getting involved with someone younger than him because he always had the option to become a lich. no getting older, no slowing down, no dying.

and now that it's no longer an option, he's stuck with it. he has to think about it. he loves rook, and as he says, there are realities to the circumstances of their relationship that need to be considered! the only difference is that... rook already did. at the beginning. which is when these types of concerns are usually addressed.

which of course is why this turns into a full argument when emmrich insinuates that it's rook who couldn't possibly understand his concerns about fairness "at their age."

i'm so, so, so happy that rook gets to call him out on this path, because frankly, it is wildly unfair to them, just not for the reason emmrich thinks. he's so concerned that it's unfair because they're going to have to mourn them, but he doesn't consider that maybe rook has already considered that, and bringing it up now is a dick move. they can point-blank ask if they're having this conversation "because you're worried about me, or insecure about you?" and it's so good.

Like a Thread of Diamond Flame

I can see the life course through you, my love. Like a thread of diamond flame. Yet... I will lose you to time, Rook. What if I can't bear that for eternity?

the argument with lich!emmrich actually is partially about the battle ahead.... because he opens with asking rook to stay back and not throw themselves head first into the fight. he's concerned for their safety, and seems to have forgotten that in a fight against gods, no one can afford to hold back.

man, i love it when i'm right. i knew he hadn't properly considered the consequences of lichdom, and i knew he wasn't prepared for rook to die. but seeing it said so plainly? absolutely delicious.

this answers my question of why he'd been "moping" around, as harding said. because he's been overthinking things and imagining the future where rook gets old and dies and he has to live on afterwards. i think the full impact of mourning manfred has hit him and he's realized that the depths of his feelings for rook are such that it will be so much worse when it's them. "I'm afraid I'll mourn you forever." not remember them, not love them. those were a given, guarantees he made before he ever even did his rites. but he's afraid he will mourn them forever, too. and that's... unimaginably heavy. a weight he hadn't considered, but should have.

the way this argument ends varies, including a path where you call him on overthinking and sabotaging his own happiness. but my favourite? when you tell him he can't act like this every time danger looms, and rook says "I'm not going to be afraid of dying just because you are." there's something so powerful in just that one line—it cuts right to the heart of the issue. this is about emmrich and his fears. nothing else.

my only complaint with this scene is there's no opportunity to call emmrich out on the fact that he should have thought about this before becoming a lich. of course, i knew that he hadn't—it was obvious he was rushing things so that he didn't have time to get cold feet, but i wish rook could say so. especially since it's been all my rook could think about since the jump.

[heliomanteia]

I think I'm reading too much into it but I'm obsessed with finding meanings even if they were not, perhaps, implied by the creators, and analyzing Rook as Solas' (partially) willing creation and narrative insert puts a lot of things into perspective for me and makes (kind of) sense of all the objective plot support (delivered heavily via Solas) that Rook receives no matter the decision they make.

Rook, with all of their self agency evident pre-ritual, is, at a later stage, something crafted and morphed by Solas and connected to him, via blood magic nonetheless. If Inquisitor was Solas' accidental creation via a misshapen ritual, then Rook is an action set in motion by accident and completed by sheer force of will. They're what Solas' will morphs and manifests: a perfect hero protected by the narrative (because the narrative is formed by Solas, because this time the gods have to die). Rook cannot fail and Rook cannot have (tangible) regrets because Rook cannot lose where Solas did. Not particularly because of any unique and special trait or ability that Rook has — but rather because Solas won't allow them to fail.

When there's a clear point of discomfort or conflict that has Rook running low, that threatens to fold the mission, "Varric" will gladly offer advice. Who knows if Rook could win without their dead mentor by their side, but Solas allowed them to have this council. Solas avoided that singular regret that could break Rook.

I do still think that Rook and Solas are narrative mirrors but not in the way Inquisitor and Solas were narrative mirrors: Inquisitor was never Solas' pawn, if anything, they were a force of nature, an unknown destined to die that needs to be carefully directed but that still can go against its unwilling creator. Arguably, there are a lot of choices in DA:I that Solas is straight up hostile towards and he is faced with the need to be discreet yet honest and incapable of acting on his own needs, at least until Trespasser. Rook, however, begins their story with Solas' ritual and ends it with one; it's Solas' story they move along through their many losses and victories. Solas shapes their narrative up until he actively steps into the game. It is Solas' story, but played out perfectly in tune — the way he would have played it out back then had he the hindsight not to take the wrong step (to avoid regrets).

A rook and a king are the only chess pieces that move together in one move where the rook takes place of the king: Rook and Solas go in a castling and it's Solas who controls the board.