#Romancing Sa・Ga

[dramastream]

First look at Nagase Ren & Deguchi Natsuki in Netflix's Yomei Ichi Nen no Boku ga, Yomei Hantoshi no Kimi to Deatta Hanashi.(2024) dir. Miki Takahiro

Hayasaka Akito is a talented artist. He is working hard to be accepted for the Nika Exhibition, but a tumor is discovered in his heart and he is told that he has one year left to live. One day, on the hospital rooftop, Hayasaka Akito meets Sakurai Haruna, who is painting. Sakurai Haruna tells him that she has only half a year to live. Hayasaka Akito gets attracted to her more and more, but he doesn't tell her about his condition.

[goothemighty]

I cannot overstate how much I love the first two Makai Toushi Sa•Ga (Final Fantasy Legend) games!! Honestly S-tier Game Boy RPGs that I highly recommend.

[pitagain]

#365DaysOfVGM Day 107:

Absolute Freedom ~Gray~ (Romancing SaGa [2005])

Back when I was a much worse person, I somehow thought this track of all things was terrible. Nowadays, I like this the most out of all the playable protagonist themes, although Barbara’s still comes fairly close. Still hard to get over how my save file for the game on real PS2 hardware corrupted just as I was nearing the very end of my 1st playthrough, maybe I'll get the new remaster and start over someday.

"A pleasant Acoustic Guitar lies under the adventurous Flute, waiting for people to be blessed by the subtle String before it takes center stage later in the composition. Only traces of the original remain at its tail end, yet that's all it takes to retain its spirit, spread throughout all the land." Amateur "fantasy style" talk aside, I recommend listening to this if you haven’t already!

(Length before loop: Nearly 1.5+ minutes)

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: September 19, 2024

Reworked Character #3: Eri Kasamoto

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to abandonment, abuse, underage drinking, crime, an unhealthy romance, death, and SA.

Real name: Chizuko Kawaguchi

Alias: Memphis Bomb Princess

Occupation: Staff Sergeant of the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., Ptolemaios’ second-in-command (formerly), and the leader of a street gang (formerly)

Retirement plans: Open up an inclusive orphanage in Hiroshima

Special skills: Orchestrating stealth missions and suppression operations, proficiency in explosives, survival techniques, lock picking, and brainwashing

Hobbies: Swimming, kickboxing, building explosive gadgets, thinking about her past mistakes and what she could have done better during her solitary nature walks, and playing card games with her friends that include some sort of money-related bet

Likes: Fio, pyrotechnics, aimless walks, vintage religious memorabilia, and a keychain that was gifted to her by her late girlfriend

Dislikes: Blissful ignorance, overly mischievous and lazy people, being touched without permission, remembering the worst parts of her past, and Tarma

Favourite drink: Vodka

Sexuality: Homoflexible sapiosexual

Gender: Female

Age: 16 (in 2022), 22 (in 2028), 24 (in 2030), 26 (in 2032), 28 (in 2034), 35 (in 2041), 37 (in 2043), 38 (in 2044), and 41 (in 2047)

Blood type: B-

Weight: 126 lbs. (57 kg)

Design: She’s a 5’ 6” (167.64 cm) Japanese ectomorph with an athletic, sylph-like build, broad shoulders, sand-hued skin, a black mole under her right eye, and top scars. She has dark brown eyes with visible bags beneath them and fingernails that are painted a metallic green. She has jet black hair with choppy bangs that has been bleached dirty blonde and is styled in a mid-back shaggy wolf cut, often worn up in a ponytail. Eri has a jarring diagonal scar that runs from the left side of her temple, across the bridge of her nose, to her right levator scapulae muscle. She also has stab scars on the palm of her right hand, cut marks on her right forearm, the skin on her arms and shoulders have been picked at, and her legs are riddled with scrapes. She lost her left forearm in a traumatic incident, later receiving a metallic silver prosthetic replacement from Ptolemaios during her training. She dons green gold snake bite and silver jestrum piercings, and her makeup features a glittery artichoke green smoky eyeliner, light brown mascara, and coral pink lips.

Eri’s military gear consists of an olive green bandana on her head, a metal dog tag necklace with her name, and a black headset for communication with her snipers. She wears a black bra, myrtle-hued sleeveless button midriff, and a satin crimson sash. She wears a purplish-grey unbuttoned coat with ripped sleeves, four pockets, and a hidden strap compartment that holds her electrical baton. On the back of her jacket is the logo of the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., which Fio kindly embroidered for her. Her purplish-grey army cargo pants were tucked into black combat boots and held up by a silver-buckled dark teal belt around her waist. She has a sheath for her combat knife and a drop leg holster for her handgun with a silencer.

She wears a black gas mask with red-tinted lenses, olive green gloves, black knee and elbow pads, and sage-streaked silver tassel earrings. She wears a keychain necklace, a gift from her late girlfriend Emily, featuring a fiery comet encircling a reddish-purple amethyst stone carved into the shape of a human heart. Eri is adorned with two black steel armlets, one on each arm: the right armlet has a circular green crystal at its centre, while the left armlet has a red one. The green crystal grants her the power to unleash grey lightning, while the red crystal, forged from a fragment of Sol Dae Rokker, can summon deadly, wolf-shaped spirits that dive-bomb enemies.

Over her midriff, she dons a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries around her walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. She carries around a sage green load-bearing backpack that contains camping equipment, grenades, fire bombs, mines, hand-crafted explosive gadgets, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, three canisters of gasoline, a rocket launcher, and a bottle of vodka. Her olive green waist pack, secured at the back of her belt, holds a silvery flask of vodka, a matchbox, and a compact makeup kit containing her eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. The pockets of her coat contain a pack of fruity bubblegum, a navy blue lighter, a rainbow-coloured bouncy ball, a deck of playing cards, and her lucky gold Kaiki Shoho coin. Meanwhile, her cargo pants hold lockpicking tools and three boxes of cigarettes. She has worn gauze wrapped around her right forearm, a gun holster for her handgun, and a sheath for her machete. She's still in possession of a Ptolemaic Army-commissioned scoped bolt-action rifle, which is often draped over her left shoulder.

Personality: She's a vengeful, sarcastic, cynical, and tomboyish leader who will stop at nothing to brutally hurt anyone she perceives as a threat to her comrades and friends or have caused them genuine harm. She has a sadistic streak, evident in her peculiar habit of smearing her enemies' blood on herself to intimidate others. When focused on her military duties and protecting those she respects and cares about, she tends to neglect her own needs. Eri's outspoken and crass demeanour shows no fear in speaking her mind, telling others off, and using profanities. As a self-reliant and lonesome individual, she’s bitter and aloof towards those she dislikes and strangers. She has a tendency to engage in dishonest behaviour and manipulate situations to her advantage. When confronted about these actions, she often responds with aggressive language and contradictory arguments. She holds immense respect for the deities, particularly Sol Dae Rokker, and will go to great lengths to worship and make sacrifices to them, often ritually sacrificing the remains of her enemies and indulging in orgies with her team of Ptolemaic rebels.

She fearlessly rebels against anything she deems morally wrong or a life-threatening risk. She shows no mercy towards her enemies, and her military missions showcase her exceptional resourcefulness, cunning, and tactical prowess. She's capable of sympathy and offering wise advice, but her willingness to do so greatly depends on the situation and her personal connection with the individual. She has immense compassion for those who endured a difficult childhood and does her best to offer comfort and support.

Eri regards her team of Ptolemaic deserters, Fio of the S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., Marco and Trevor of the P.F. Squad, Ralf and Clark, the top dogs of the Ikari Warriors, Tequila, Red Eye, and Hyakutaro, Tyra, and Walter of Division 6 as family. She’s overprotective of Fio, whom she regards with sisterly affection, and Marco, whom she views as a courageous leader who deserves comfort and sympathy. She harbours significant animosity towards Tarma, seeing him as a hot-headed idiot who only causes trouble and can't take things seriously. Despite her best efforts to tolerate him, she can't help but snap at him when his silly antics go too far, he inadvertently ruins a plan or he gets too flirtatious and physically close to Fio.

She lives with claustrophobia, mild social anxiety, insomnia, atypical depression, and borderline personality disorder. To cope with her mental health struggles, she often presents herself as highly intelligent, serious-minded, and seductive. However, when anger takes hold, her emotions can be difficult to contain, although she strives to maintain some self-control. Notably, Eri prefers not to be called by her old name as it evokes memories of her past trauma, which she’s trying to desperately forget. She's a hardened pessimist, often appearing mentally exhausted and emotionally unfazed, yet she consistently demonstrates resilience and stubborn determination. She can't help but feel jealous towards those who have loving parents and weren't abandoned by them. When she's had too much to drink, she becomes prone to argumentativeness, physical aggression, and melancholy, and often sleepwalks.

She has a deep-seated distrust of Christianity, believing that many people hypocritically exploit God and Jesus' teachings to conceal their true intentions. She also thinks that certain Christian teachings clash with the harsh realities of life. Furthermore, she believes that God seems apathetic to humanity's well-being, watching them suffer endlessly, letting evil to continuously flourish, and restricting the potential for salvation. She holds that morality is culturally relative, and therefore, there are no universal moral laws, making it challenging to distinguish right from wrong.

In her view, human societies construct their values based on their distinct beliefs, customs, and practices, which are also influenced by social and emotional pressures. She believes that individuals have a moral obligation to protect innocent lives and uphold the goodness inherent in justice. Regarding war, she thinks it can be justified if it meets certain criteria: it’s openly declared by a governing authority, has a just cause, and aims to establish a lasting peace. She acknowledges the coexistence of life and death but does not see a clear connection between the two.

Backstory: Chizuko Kawaguchi was born on June 6, 2006 in Hiroshima, Japan. She was abandoned as an infant at the entrance of a Christian church by her parents, who had wanted a son instead of a baby girl. Her name was discovered on a piece of paper tucked inside her baby carriage. She was raised by the Christian church where she was sent to live, an institution with a strict religious environment. There, children who misbehaved were subjected to psychological reprimands. During Chizuko’s younger years, she acted out as an attention-seeking troublemaker, but was frequently punished through humiliation and isolation in a dark closet.

She would be frequently bullied by children who were considered to be well-behaved and good in the eyes of the church staff. They targeted her for her perceived sinfulness by spreading false rumours about her, belittling her, and vandalising her toys. She endured occasional physical abuse and emotional manipulation by the church orphanage staff who used the threat of eternal damnation to control her behaviour. This treatment had a profound effect on her, making her quiet, nervous, and obedient. As a result, she grew to resent the church, finding its teachings to be at odds with the harsh realities of her own life. She eventually lost faith in God, feeling that He seemed indifferent to human suffering, allowing it to persist without genuine intervention or care.

At the age of 6, Chizuko met Tarma and quickly befriended him after building a sandcastle and searching for worms under a heavy rock. This chance encounter taught her that there were kind people outside of her church community, and she had opportunities to form new connections and discover herself. She met up with Tarma a few more times until he stopped visiting Hiroshima, leaving her feeling alone and sorrowful.

Once she figured out the ways of the world, she escaped from the sanctuary of the church at the age of 12, alongside a small group of friends, eager to taste the forbidden fruit of the world. Seeking vengeance, she and her friends burned down the church orphanage in retaliation for the abuse they had endured. Most of her early life remains private. However, her invigorating and tomboyish nature lended her as a capable leader, founding a gang of street kids. They engaged in criminal activities, primarily petty theft, drug sales, weapon trafficking, and murder.

Details about this period are scarce, but it's known that Chizuko developed a fondness for vodka during this time. She narrowly escaped being taken into custody by the police through financial bribes, avoiding a potential juvenile detention. She would also go through a couple of romantic relationships with girls. Her first relationship was short-lived after she quickly discovered that her girlfriend was using her for financial gain. Her second relationship seemed to be going well, but it ended when her girlfriend's parents found out about her being a delinquent and forbade their daughter from seeing her again.

At 15, she reunited with Tarma after he ran away from home, inviting him to hang out and drink beer and vodka. As they caught up on each other's lives, she began to flirt and get physically close, seeing him as someone she could trust. However, Chizuko’s desire to escape the past and run away from her problems clouded her judgement. They spent many nights together, engaging in erotic activities, and she even convinced him to participate in a few crimes. But everything changed when Tarma abruptly ended things and returned home to Hokkaido. Devastated, she felt betrayed, despite having used him to fulfill her own desires and advance her gang interests. This experience explains her lingering animosity towards Tarma.

Her leadership skills and her gang had continued to grow successfully, but that success was short-lived. Two months before she turned 18, Hiroshima was suddenly attacked by multiple bombings from a mysterious group, resulting in the loss of thousands of lives, including her entire gang—her first true friends. This incident sent the Japanese populace into a deep state of panic and uncertainty. In the chaos, she also suffered a devastating injury, losing her left forearm. With quick thinking, she managed to improvise a tourniquet by tearing the sleeves of her medium-sleeved shirt and stemming the bleeding.

While treating her injury, she was approached by a brown-haired, grey-eyed woman wearing the attire of a Ptolemaic guerilla. This guerrilla fighter didn't want to leave Chizuko behind, knowing she would feel terrible if left alone. So, she convinced Chizuko to come with her to meet up with Ptolemaios. Chizuko was hesitant at first, but with no other options, she took the opportunity. The guerrilla introduced herself as Emily Kuznetsova, and Chizuko decided to adopt a new name: Eri Kasamoto.

Unbeknownst to her, Ptolemaios had been observing Eri for some time, recognizing her potential as a valuable asset for his army. She was first showered with excessive attention and affection by Ptolemaios' most devoted followers. Afterwards, they subjected her to an initiation ritual where she was forced to consume the heart of a deceased baby goat in the name of the Dark Lord and drink Ptolemaios' blood. He took steps to provide her with specialised training to enhance her skills in espionage and further develop her militant abilities. Once she received a sufficient amount of training, he wasn't hesitant to make her his second-in-command, which stirred some jealousy amongst the commanding officers of the Ptolemaic Army. On his behalf, she was responsible for multiple stealth missions to further the technological advancement and tactical plans of the Ptolemaic Army.

During this time, Emily's compassionate and courageous nature won Eri over, and she developed a strong romantic attraction towards her, which would eventually blossom into a full-blown relationship. Ptolemaios viewed Emily as a potential obstacle to his objectives and sought to eliminate her, motivated in part by his suppressed and secret sexual attraction to Eri. Emily's death was staged to appear as a suicide, with the circumstances surrounding it unclear. Eri was even sexually assaulted by a few commanding officers as Ptolemaios hoped that this would instill more fear in her and deter her from leaving.

However, these two events had a profound impact on Eri, leading to feelings of grief and anger, and prompting her to re-evaluate her involvement with the Ptolemaic Army. She assembled a group of individuals who shared her desire to challenge Ptolemaios' authority. The group consisted of six guerrilla troops: Mikuláš, Ji-Yeong, Konrad, Dezső, Sipho, and Harvie; four snipers: Amilcare, Diomedes, Souma, and Manouel; and eight special forces operatives: Kemalettin, Jaroslavas, Dermot, Agenor, Shelomit, Franjo, Prabhakar, and Radovan.

During their fight against the Ptolemaic Army, they caused major setbacks and killed off many soldiers and cultists. As Eri fought against Ptolemaios, she learned that he was responsible for conducting the terrorist bombings in Hiroshima. She tried to end his life, but felt a malevolent presence stopping her from doing so, forcing her and her rebel Ptolemaic soldiers out of Ptolemaios' compound in Osaka, Japan. Shortly after this time, she ripped off the sleeves of her purplish-grey coat to use as tourniquets for a couple of her men. She also chose to acquire her top scars, her way of trying to forget the past, reject social norms placed on women and girls, and embrace her true identity.

At the age of 20, she and her team decided to apply for military service, working under the Intelligence Agency as a formidable group of agents. Eri made a name for herself in numerous missions, earning a reputation as a vengeful leader amongst the Regular Army. She was known for eliminating numerous individuals, including treacherous soldiers and corrupt politicians with some of her most notable assignments involving strategic seduction that lured her targets into vulnerable positions. However, she began to feel increasingly disillusioned by the constant assassinations and conspiracies that weighed on her conscience, reminding her of her time with the Ptolemaic Army. She applied for a transfer to S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., which was specially approved due to her exceptional record, indispensable skills, and intimate knowledge of the Ptolemaic Army's inner workings.

As the demolition and stealth expert of S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., Eri led her rebel Ptolemaic soldiers with immense success. She befriended Fio and felt an instant, deep connection after a few interactions, viewing Fio as the younger sister she never had and vowing to protect her at all costs. She played a crucial role in the Great Morden War by providing Marco's team with explosives, emergency rations, and valuable intel on Rebel Army positions through stealthy infiltration. Eri showcased her advanced combat and leadership skills by helping to thwart Morden's second coup, which was aided by her team, Fio, Tarma, and Marco.

[visualtaehyun]

Love Senior ep. 2 bits and bobs

Disclaimer: not a native Thai speaker, still learning 🙏

Bad girl

แย่จริง ๆ น้องคนเนี่ย /yae jing jing nong khon niia/ = Awful for real, this junior! เด็กดื้อ /dek deuu/ = Stubborn/naughty girl!

How to explain? I needed to show the difference in the Thai, even though the subs say 'Bad girl' twice, because เด็กดื้อ /dek deuu/ has romance trope connotations.

And speaking of those- just before, as Naow pets Gyoza's head, Naow calls her ไอ้ต้าว /ai dtaao/ (I just can't make out the entire sentence rip), which is slang? cutesy? for ไอ้เจ้า /ai jao/, which is a prefix I guess that's affectionately used for pets for example. If you've seen My School President, ไอ้ต้าว /ai dtaao/ is what Win calls Sound in ep. 12 - I think it was subbed as pumpkin on YouTube? 'Cutie' might be a good roundabout way to translate it.

เกียร์อยู่ที่ใคร ใจอยู่ที่เกียร์ /gear yuu thee khrai, jai yuu thee gear/ = Whoever the gear is with, the heart's with the gear. ของคนสำคัญหนอ /kaawng khon sam khan naaw/ = [It must] belong to someone important, hm? -> lit. important person, can also imply 'significant other'

Rotten dog makes its reappearance!

ไอ้นาว ทำหน้าเป็นหมาเน่าอีกแล้วนะมึง /ai Naow, tam naa bpen maa nao eek laaeo na, mueng/ = Naow, you're making that face again like you're a rotten dog, dude. หยุดมโน อย่าลงตัวเอง ไอ้หมาเน่า /yuut ma noh. yaa lohng dtua eng, ai maa nao/ -> see last week's post for details because Naow's brother Faung also called her หมาเน่า /maa nao/ (= rotten, spoiled, decayed, putrid, foul dog)

This one came out a tad bit unfortunate so I felt I needed to clarify for P'Pure's sake lmao

ใช้งานจนสตีหลุดไปแล้ว /chai ngaan john sa dtee luut bpai laaeo/ = worked her until she's out of it/lost all sense/until breaking -> ใช้งาน /chai ngaan/ = to work (sth./sb.), utilize, operate, use [for] work

This sounds less flirty in Thai lol

ตบหัวแล้วลูบหลัง /dtohp hua laaeo luup lang/ = lit. slap on the head then pat on the back; idiom for doing or saying sth. mean/hurtful then trying to console/mollify

The puppy and its mother (thanks Lada for continuing to be the icon that you are mwah!)

เห็นตามติดแกยิ่งกว่าลูกหมาไม่หย่านมแม่ซะอีก /hen dtaam dtit gae ying gwaa luuk maa mai yaa nom mae sa eek/ = Saw her following you around even more than a puppy that isn't weaned off its mother ไงแม่หมา ลูกหมาออกล่าเหยื่ออย่างเป็นทางการแหล่ะ /ngai mae maa? luuk maa aawk laa yeuua yaang bpen taang gaan lae/ = So, mother dog? The puppy's officially out to hunt for prey.

Mr. Teddy

นี่เธอกำลังงับหูเจ้า(???)อยู่นะนาว ปล่อยตุ๊กตาพี่เดี๋วนี้ /nee ter gam lang ngap huu jao ??? yuu na, Naow? bplaawy dtook ga dtaa phi diao nee/ = Are you biting ???'s ear, Naow? Let my teddy go right now!

The teddy has a name!! The prefix เจ้า /jao/ (as with Gyo's vespa เจ้าหมูแดง /jao moo daaeng/) tells me the teddy bear has a name, I just can't make it out clearly 😔

Clarification on the pronoun used here

แกเลยรู้สึกแย่กับเจ้าของเกียร์ที่ห้อยคอแกอยู่รึไง /gae loey ruu seuk yae gap jao khaawng gear thee haawy kaaw gae yuu reu ngai/ = So you feel bad about/because of the owner of the gear hanging from your neck then?

And a note re: pronouns and names

The scene in Gyoza's room where they eat together and then tease each other on the balcony is the only one in this episode where they both don't refer to Gyoza as พี่ /phi/ (refer to my post from last week for explanation)!

When Naow stays the night, she calls Gyoza พี่ /phi/ and Gyoza herself refers to herself as พี่ /phi/ as well - I only noticed her call herself เกี๊ยว /Giao/ when she says she's scared of the thunder. 🥺

[gojosoath]

wilted grace — nanami/gojo fic

MINORS DON'T INTERACT // 18+ ONLY!

pairing: nanami kento x gojo satoru x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns) x poly relationship

tags: romance x angst x smut x polyamory x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au, nanami and gojo are just normal dudes living in a normal world, lol)

warnings: a bit of an age gap (everyone is a consenting adult fyi) x implications of SA done to Y/N x Y/N has a panic attack x dissociation summary: (AU) The story follows Y/N, Nanami and Gojo in a polyamorous relationship; the three of them navigating the new dynamic relationship for the first time in their lives. The three of them begin exploring aspects both emotionally and sexually, finding themselves on a complex journey of facing their inner demons and also healing themselves.

Table of Contents // my ao3 // taglist form taglist: @adequate-superstar ; @chifuxu ; @moonlightchildz ; @crown5 ; @frankiesteins-world ; @peachytears11 ; @chaneleden ; @soumies ; @nanamingojo ; @sunfairyy ;

DO NOT REPOST/COPY MY WORKS ANYWHERE ELSE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©gojosoath

a/n: umm so sorry for not updating in a while. my writers block is the worst...i have no excuses, forgive me yall. enjoyy x :)

Part 11: One, Two, Three... (wc: 3.1k)

8 hours earlier

“Mr. Kento, do you realize what you have done by leaving early and not even attending the conference you were supposed to lead?” The boss’ voice is sharp and cold, making Nanami pinch the bridge of his nose. He paces the hallway, letting his boss bite his head off for leaving the business trip too early.

“I notified you that it was an emergency, something came up,” Nanami reminds him.

“Last minute,” His boss retorts, “it did not give us enough time to send in a backup.”

“I know, I know,” Nanami rubs the back of his neck hoping that it will somewhat give his tense muscles some relief. When he gets to the end of the hallway, he stops in his steps when he sees you and Gojo in the kitchen; you are crying in the high chair while Gojo is kneeling, both of your guys’ hands together. Nanami tunes out his boss continuing to give him a hard time, while he continues to watch the two of you. He doesn’t hear what Gojo says but he sees his lips moving. For some odd reason, Nanami doesn’t feel jealous but rather…thankful? Even though Nanami doesn't fully understand it, he feels he should be jealous. 

“...I’m expecting you in the office tomorrow, we will talk about the details then…” Nanami hears his boss say.

“Hmm,” Nanami hums, his mind completely occupied with something else. The call ends, and Nanami is left standing there, phone to his ear and watching as the two of you continue eating breakfast. 

Nanami walks back into the kitchen, coming up to your side and placing a kiss on top of your head. Your eyes are red and your cheeks slightly wet but you still smile at Nanami, making his heart feel like it’s melting. 

“You doing better?” Nanami asks you.

You sniffle, “Yes, thank you,” You whisper to him. Nanami glances at Gojo and he seems preoccupied stuffing his face with pancakes. 

“I can take you back to your dorm,” Nanami tells you, his hand rubbing gentle circles on your back. 

Your club dress is in a plastic bag that Gojo had secured for you to take home. You sheepishly thank Gojo and Nanami notices the light blush spread across your cheeks. Nanami takes you downstairs to his car, you look awfully tired. The drive to your dorm consists of you two holding hands, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your hand. 

At a stoplight, Nanami continues to reassure you, “Don’t worry about my job, everything is going to be okay.”

“But is your boss mad at you?” You press on. 

Nanami sighs, “He’s not the happiest.”

“Please, just be honest with me,” You plea wearily.

The light turns green and Nanami steps on the gas, “He’s pissed off,” He finally says. 

You nod your head, “That’s the feeling I got…” Your voice trails off, and then you add, “is he going to fire you?”

“No,” Nanami consoles, “I’m probably just going to get an earful.” 

You inhale shakily, looking out the window, “I’m sorry, Nanami.” 

Nanami brings the back of your hand which he holds to his lips and presses a soft kiss, “Nothing to be sorry about, you always come first.”

You turn your head to look at him, eyes shimmering with tears, “It means a lot,” You whisper. Nanami parks the car once he’s made it to your dorm parking lot. He looks calm on the outside, but you know that he’s wanting to talk to you about something. You’re the one to initiate it, “What’s wrong?” 

“I’m worried about what happened last night,” Nanami voices. 

“Are you suspicious something happened between Gojo and me?” 

Nanami shakes his head, “No, not you two. It’s about what happened at the club. Do you remember how you ended up on the second floor?” 

You look lost in thought when Nanami asks you the question, face becoming pale. He doesn’t push it any further, he embraces you in a hug. You find yourself crying into his chest again, his lips against the crown of your head. 

“It’s okay,” Nanami says softly, his hands rubbing circles on your back, “we don’t need to talk about it right now. Just know I’m here when you’re ready.”

“I’m sorry,” You blabber into his chest, “I’m so sorry,” You have, your body trembling in his hold.

“What are you sorry about?” Nanami holds your face in his hands, his thumbs wiping at your tears. “You haven’t done anything wrong, my love.”

You’re hyperventilating again, tasting nothing but the saltiness from your tears, “I’m sorry,” You keep repeating. 

“Baby,” Nanami persists, “hey, look at me.”

“I’m sorry!”

“For what?” Nanami asks, his brows pulled together in concern, his brown eyes scanning your face. 

“I don’t know what is wrong with me!” Your voice cracks and your fingers are wrapped around Nanami’s wrists where you squeeze them. 

“Hey, Y/N, look at me,” Nanami continues to try to ground you, “you’re okay, I’m here.” 

You finally bring your gaze to meet him, biting your bottom lip to close off any more cries that threaten to fall past your mouth. You don’t know what it is, and your heart stops for a moment, you love Nanami but there’s more space in your heart than you know it; 

“I think I like Gojo, too.” Nanami is silent, his gaze doesn’t break away from yours. You can’t seem to put a pause to what’s spilling from you, “I like you…I like Gojo, too.” 

You hold your breath, you’re expecting Nanami to retaliate in disgust, in anger. Instead, he surprises you when he hugs you again, pressing a kiss to your hairline; “That’s okay,” His voice vibrates against you, “I accept all your feelings.”

“I don’t know why I feel this way,” You say wearily into his chest, closing your eyes as he gives your body a light squeeze, “it’s not possible, right?”

“I don’t know,” Nanami says, “we’ll figure it out together.” 

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not for a moment,” Nanami reassures you, giving you another kiss, “I just want you to be happy.”

Nanami walks with you up to your room, and thankfully your roommate is already in the room. She is relieved to see you, hugging you the moment she sees you and explaining how sorry she was that the two of you got drifted away. Nanami helps you get into bed, tucking you in and sitting beside you until you’re drifting off into sleep. Nanami doesn’t leave without a kiss on your forehead and then heads out where he knows he will have to meet up with Gojo to talk with him. 

┅

“What?” Gojo asks.

“She said she likes you…that she likes both of us.”

Again, Gojo says, “What?”

“That's why I asked you if you liked her,” Nanami says, “again, it’s okay if you do.”

Gojo's palms are sweaty, “She is very pretty,” He confesses, attentively watching Nanami’s reaction. 

Nanami agrees, “I know, she’s gorgeous.” 

“She seems nice,” Gojo continues, “so…I might like her?” Even Gojo is confused, he’s not sure what he feels either.

“I know this is a lot,” Nanami steps in, “I just feel we should get together and talk about this,” he shrugs his shoulders. 

“Look, you can like multiple people at the same time,” Gojo retaliates, “so, I’m sure it’s just a crush that will fade away.”

“Can I be honest with you?” 

“Yes, of course.”

“I don’t think I’d mind her dating the both of us…” Now it’s Nanami’s turn to attentively watch for Gojo’s reaction, and Gojo is caught off guard. 

“You want her to date me?!” 

“If she wants to, I’d be okay with it,” Nanami clarifies, “would you be okay with that?”

“I’ve never…” Gojo’s voice trails off, and then tries again, “I’ve never been in a relationship with more than one person.”

“Neither have I.”

“Is this what Y/N said she’s willing to try?” 

Nanami says, “I was thinking the three of us would go out for dinner and discuss it.” 

“If you two are comfortable with that, sure, we can do that,” Gojo agrees. 

Nanami and Gojo hold each other’s gazes, the two men sharing an undeniable silence between the two of them. Brown eyes holding blue ones, they take a sip from their drinks in sync as the world around them continues to rustle. 

┅

You’re awoken by your phone vibrating with a text message. After Nanami had dropped you off, you were lights out. It feels as if you’ve been sleeping for days but when you take a look at the time on your phone screen, it’s only been a couple of hours. You have a text message from Nanami; 

Nanami: Hey love, just got back to my place. Hope you’re sleeping well. I miss you and love you

You sit up in bed, rubbing your eyes to adjust to the brightness on your phone screen. You receive another text from Nanami;

Nanami: I also talked with Gojo earlier, know we both support you

You feel your heart beating fast, at the thought of Nanami and Gojo talking about you — were you being narcissistic? It wasn’t that, it was something else. Something that had crossed your mind and heart several times; you wanted to be with both of them. You’re pressing Nanami’s contact icon and putting the phone to your ear, which he picks up in a heartbeat;

“Y/N,” His deep voice reminds you of home, “how are you doing? Did you sleep well?”

You bring your knees up to your chest, warmth making its way up to your cheeks, “Yes, I did. How are you?” 

“I’m good, just worried about you.”

Your fingers play with the edge of your blanket, “Can I see you?” 

“Of course,” He says, “it’s pretty late, too. Did you want to stay over?” 

You nod eagerly, “Yes, I do.” 

“Get your stuff ready, I’m on my way.”

┅

The two of you don’t talk about the elephant in the room on the car ride to Nanami’s place — at least, not yet. Once you two got into his place, Nanami hugged you. His scent overwhelms your senses, his arms around your waist tightening. You allow yourself to relax against his figure, feeling through his work shirt the defined muscles that lie beneath it. You feel that you could melt into him for how safe he feels as his arms engulf your figure. The two of you put your foreheads against one another, you can feel the heat radiating off from his body. Your hands are placed over his chest, your fingers fidgeting with the desire to remember how he feels until that’s all you can breathe.

“I know I’ve already said this,” Nanami’s hands move up to either side of your jaw, his fingers laced behind your ear and in your hair. He guides your head up towards him, “but I’ve missed you so much.” 

You sigh, “I’ve missed you, too…so badly,” you’re the one to lean in so your lips meet his. The kiss is sensual and soft, the two of you taking your time drowning in each other’s taste. Nanami leans his head to the side for more access and you mirror his actions, opening your mouth for him. You feel him shudder as he slips his tongue into your mouth, lapping against the top of your tongue. Your hands grip the material of his shirt by his shoulders, his other arm inviting you to clash against his body by pushing your lower back into him. 

You can feel his hardened bulge against your lower half, which makes you let out a strained whine into his mouth. Both of you pull back to catch your breaths but you have more in mind. You don’t waste time, you get down on your knees in front of him, your hands placed onto his thighs, and push him until his back comes in contact with the front door. Surprise is plastered across his features at your brazen ways, your nails running down his thighs as you say;

“Can I?” You motion with a nod of your head towards his bulge. You see Adam's apple go up as he swallows, still looking taken off guard. His eyebrows furrow in submission, eyes softening as his hand goes to the back of your head, his fingers threading throughout your hair. 

He breathes out a ‘yes,’ and your fingers work at his zipper and button. You’re practically salivating at the thought of having him in your mouth, but that’s the thing, he deserves you to take your time with him. You push his pants down past his knees, pooling down by his ankles. You press your palm against his clothed bulge, making his hold on your hair tighten followed by a muffled moan. You press the flat of your tongue against his clothed bulge, your eyelids fluttering close with heavy pleasure. 

Nanami doesn’t mean to, but due to the friction of your tongue against his aching cock makes his hips jerk forward. He knew himself to always be composed, being able to stay rigid no matter what circumstances went around him. But with you, with your hot tongue against his bulge and how you look on your knees for him — he was falling apart at the seams. Your fingers made their way to the top of his boxers and pulled them down, with his hardened cock springing up and falling against your already open mouth. You had your tongue out, too. Nanami wasn’t even aware of how hard he was panting, sweat building by his temples. 

“Put it in your mouth,” He finds himself saying, pulling your head back by the hair so that the tip of his penis comes in contact with your tongue. You make his wish come true and wrap your sweet lips around his head, looking up at him, and Nanami understands. “Suck on it,” He instructs you, your cheeks hollow as you do so. He puts his cheek against his shoulder, a shaky breath dancing out from his lips. 

“Fuck,” He grunts as you take him in even further, he can’t help but feel both surprised and proud as to how this is only your second time giving head and you already feel like you’ve been doing it for years. You bob your head up and down, your hand accompanying his heavy balls, giving it small squeezes. 

“Good girl,” Nanami praises you in a rasped tone, “just like that, suck me off like the good girl you are.” 

His words only make you take him in even deeper until it touches the back of your throat and you gag. You pull back, a string of thick salvia stretching from the tip of his bright pink cock and connecting to your bottom lip. Nanami swipes his thumb across your lower lip, your glistening eyes holding his gaze. He has never been this way before; yes, he’s had his cock sucked before by his previous relationship but it was just good. Whatever this was, it was the gates of heaven. His body was burning — no, trembling from the inside, and out. 

Nanami bends down with his thumb and the rest of his fingers pinching your cheeks, your lips puckered out. He gathers saliva in his mouth and says, “Open wide, princess,” and like the good girl you are, you do so. He lets his spit dangling from his mouth and into yours, swallowing all of it. It was like he was a completely different person from you, never in a million years would he think that he would be this…filthy.  

You grab his dick and put it back into your mouth, your other hand going on top of his that continues to hold your hair. You give it a nudge and Nanami pushes some more against the back of your head. At first, you have to take some breaths of air and Nanami is patient throughout all of it, “You’re doing so good,” He reassures you, “you’re making daddy so proud.” 

Once he’s back in your mouth, Nanami finds a rhythm of pushing your head back and forth on his cock. The sounds of you choking are making his vision go blurry, his breath catching in his throat when he feels you drag your nails down his thighs. 

“You should see yourself,” Nanami is a rambling mess, “how good you look…choking on my dick, angel.” You come back to catch your breath, his precum and saliva glistening around your mouth and running down your chin. “As much as I want to cum in your mouth,” Nanami breathes out, “I want to be inside of you more.” 

You nod your head eagerly at him, standing up on shaking legs to indulge in a sloppy, fervent kiss. His strong arms lift you by your legs which wrap around his waist as he brings the two of you to the island in his kitchen that’s right by his front door. His hands roam your body eagerly yet attentively, his lips on your neck that give you open-mouthed kisses. His tongue against your skin sends shivers to tremble you in your bones. You lean your body back, setting your palms on the island counter. 

Nanami’s large hands are all over you, he’s pushing your shirt up and his mouth latches around your nipples. He needs you so badly that he’s impatient. Your back arches into him while his other hand works down at your pants, moving underneath the fabric until you feel his fingers against your clothed pussy. You're unbuttoning his shirt, you’re impatient as well. Both of you are panting messes as the two you undress one another until you’re both bare. Your shirt is pulled over your shirt, while Nanami’s is pushed off his shoulders. Your pants and underwear are thrown somewhere to the side. He tugs at your hardened nipple with his teeth, looking up at you to watch your reaction. You hiss from the pain but it feels so good. Nanami trails kiss down your navel and stomach until his head is between your legs. 

He plunges his face into your wet pussy, tongue licking over your plush nub. You let out cries of pleasure, your fingers in his hair. He lets out a growl against your pussy, followed by plunging two fingers into your wet entrance. Your thighs tremble, not even realizing how fast you’re reaching your orgasm. Nanami can tell, with his tongue working at your nub and fingers curling up inside you. Just as you're about to reach your high, the doorbell rings. 

You and Nanami stop dead in your tracks, nothing but the sound of your heaving breaths can be heard. Nanami’s lips and chin glisten with your wetness. He stands up straight, running a hand through his messy hair (thanks to you). 

“Fuck,” Nanami breathes out.

You ask, “What is it?”

Nanami says to you, “I forgot I invited Gojo tonight.” 

[theenemyod]

Introduction post

My name is Alexander-Grace. Call me that or shorten it idc.

I AM A MINOR. I am not comfortable sharing my age online but please keep the fact that I am a minor in mind when interacting with me.

I am autistic.

I age regress, range from 0-8

I am transmasc, genderfaunet, and use a lot of neopronouns. I might add the list to this post eventually but currently can't be bothered. The main pronouns I use are he/they/it/xe/rat.

Things I like:

The magisterium books, the land of stories books, Minecraft, drawing, writing, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, creepy/cute stuff in general, anything fluffy, rodents, the hunger games books, fidget toys, weirdcore, sea glass.

DNI: homophobic, transphobic, ablist, racist. maps. If you think it's okay to send death and sa threats and tell someone to kill themselves over fiction. If you make fun of trauma. Kink and/or nsfw.

Pronouns list

He/him they/them it/its fa/fall lea/leaf/wa/warm co/cozy doll/dolls haunt/haunts ki/kill gho/ghost boo/boos tomb/tombs spi/spirt dea/death ai/ai app/apps beep/boop bot/bots bolt/bolts gli/glitch e/exe gear/gears mal/ware swi/switch sol/solar wire/wired cell/cells cha/chaos wi/wifi met/metal robot/robots gla/glass wing/wings li/light colour/colourful col/colour bright/brights toy/toys cu/cute char/charm bow/bows horr/horror miss/missing fog/foggy eldri/eldritch wat/watch uncan/uncanny swe/sweet mou/mouse rat/rats key/keys win/window cli/click da/data scr/scroll er/error scre/screen wi/wire fi/file zhe/zher ha/hate loa/loath hau/hostile ra/rage kni/knife po/poem si/sick pill/pills gore/gores rot/rots rib/ribs gut/guts zomb/zombs bite/bites bone/bones death/deaths bleed/bleeds scar/scars decay/decays alien/aliens star/stars dus/dust gal/galaxy glim/glimmer spi/spin ro/rock Lu/luck ri/ring vi/virus ca/cable ga/game da/data web/webs com/compute net/network cy/cyber drip/drips tile/tiles wade/wades clear/clears step/steps flu/fluid soak/soaks spiral/spirals browse/browses click/clicks connect/connects font/fonts disk/disks hack/hacks lag/lags http/https page/pages net/nets pixel/pixels web/webs tab/tabs site/sites tech/techs upload/uploads wire/wires snarl/snarls dog/dogs fear/fears hu/hunts brain/brains tu/tune wa/walk si/sing sea/search fer/feral meat/meats teeth/teeth mew/mews ring/rings ⚙️/⚙️ 🔧/🔧 🤖/🤖 th⭐️y th⭐️m h⭐️ h⭐️m 404/404 💻/💻 👁️/👁️ 🌕/🌕 ✨/✨ shy/hyr ze/zer sea/seas rain/rains pond/ponds yippee/yippees void/voids moon/moons star/stars blur/blurs skull/skulls grave/graves night/nights bug/bugs gut/guts paw/paws honey/honeys mush/mushroom stone/stones mud/muddy creek/creeks Gold/golds fun/fungus frog/frogs snail/snails silver/silvers moss/mossy fae/fare thon/thon blossom/blossoms buzz/buzzes pop/pops worm/worms sting/stings ladybug/ladybugs pumpkin/pumpkins

No I do not expect all of this to be memorized that's why I have it written down.

[kc-drama-fanatic]

King the Land (2023)

Genre: Comedy, Romance

Main Actors: Lee Jun Ho, Yoona, Go Won Hee, Kim Ga Eun, Ahn Se Ha, Kim Jae Won, Kim Sun Young

Plot: A speedrun enemies-to-lovers workplace romance, with a little chaebol inheritance scheming thrown in. It's a fun, lighthearted drama with a great friend group (#SquadGoals) and low-stakes plot. The story unfolded naturally, not feeling rushed or dragged out over the 16 episodes. 10/10

Relationship: Gu Won is one of the top-tier green flags. His and Sa Rang's relationship was so wholesome and mature; I thoroughly enjoyed it. This is what happens when you communicate, y'all! 10/10

Characters: The characters were all thoroughly endearing...except the antagonist, but she experienced character growth, so I'll give her that. 10/10

Favourite Quote/Scene: Episode 11's ending/ When Gu Won asked Sa Rang for permission to kiss her. Just when I thought the man could get no hotter...

Final Thoughts: This was one of the best kdramas I've seen. It has it all: humour, romance, friendship, great plot, cast, and production...10/10

[hesitationss]

i'm hoping to do pitching events and apply for creator grants soon, so i'm asking a bunch of friends for feedback plus i am curious to see which idea tumblr likes too! i'm currently trying to figure out which one to focus on since they are all at similar stages of development. if you want, you can also share your thoughts about why you picked the one you did! descriptions for each concept under the cut.

Dirty River

Pitch: During the occupation period, a 16 year old is living with her mom in a pacified village where the military force is stationed to crush the guerilla army. After a near death experience in a the nearby river, a ghost-like monstrosity begins to torment the occupying imperialists.

Comp: Pan’s Labyrinth dir. Guillermo Del Toro x Spirited Away (Studio Ghibli) x ATLA (blood bending and painted lady episodes)

Audience & Genre : Young Adult with some mature themes (poverty, war, death) | Horror (Ghost story, Folk Horror), Drama, Historical Fiction.

Extra Info: Takes place in a mountain village in fictious 1940s china. the monster is a ghost woman made of eels. plot b is that the protagonist is being pressured into marriage, in a sense, the vengeful eel woman is her saviour. it's partly a retelling of puteri gunung ledang who made impossible requests of a sultan because she was not allowed to formally refuse his advances.

Swimming Lessons

Pitch: Elementary school student Winny Yee has been signed up for swimming lessons after her family receives a low-income qualifying membership at the YMCA. Attempting to recover from almost a decade of failed swimming attempts, she takes her first kicks and tries not to sink.

Comp: This One Summer by Mariko and Jillian Tamaki x Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson and [GN adaption artist] Emily Carroll

Audience & Genre: Middle Grade w slightly mature themes (poverty, social anxiety, puberty, gender) | Social Realism, Coming of Age

Extra Info: Winny has an undiagnosed developmental disorder that is somewhat mild so she doesn't receive support which is why she feels she is always "behind". Mature themes include things like growing boobs, precocious puberty from implied family and poverty stress and feeling anxious about occupying a changing body. Set in the Pairies.

Summer Flood

Pitch: Chinese-Canadian coming of age family drama - At the start of summer, 20 year old Kiana Hom and her family move back to her childhood home to care for her ailing grandfather after a frightening trip to the emergency room.

Comp: Bone by Faye Myenne Ng x This One Summer by Mariko and Jillian Tamaki x Driveways dir. Andrew Ahn

Audience & Genre: Young Adult/Adult | Coming of Age, Family Drama, Social Realism, Multicultural

Extra Info: Social realism topics include eviction, micro-agression from White Canadians, their elderly Indigenous neighbour being neglected by Accessible Transit, medical care neglect, mother-daughter tension, but overall learning to adapt and find joy despite adversity. Set in the prairies, like 2006?. Basically: cleaning up your hoarder grandfather's neglected house which is your childhood home and the memories that accompany that.

Skinning House

Pitch: Late 80’s - Childhood friends are re-united when Lucy’s neighbourhood is displaced from gas leak explosions. The large house of her family’s friend is one of both magic and horrors. Featuring - Witches, werewolves, queerness, hauntings/gothic themes, romance, coming of age.

Comp: Tithe by Holly Black x Mooncakes by Wendy Xu & Suzanne Walker x Mamo by Sas Milledge

Audience & Genre: Young Adult | Coming of Age, Fantasy, Horror/Gothic themes, Urban Fantasy

Extra Info: Lucy is the protag, but her childhood friend Cam is being magically tortured by their father who treats them like an animal since their mom (witch) turned them into a werewolf and went missing. Lucy, also a witch, is being hunted by something inside the house. Late 80's in a developing prairie city beginning just before winter.

thanks!!!! <333

[amethystina]

Nine people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @fr-wiwiw! Thank you so much, darling 💜

3 Ships

I guess I'll just make it easy for myself and pick the ones I'm currently most focused on writing fanfics for? xD

Kang Yo Han/Kim Ga On - The Devil Judge

5-8/Yoon Sa Wol - Black Knight

Seo Moon Jo/Yoon Jong Woo - Strangers From Hell

First ship

Destiel. If we're going by the first ship I got REALLY invested in.

Last Song

MAISON - Dreamcatcher

It's my girls 💜

Currently Reading

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

It's a delightful F/F historical romance! And SUCH an improvement from the book I read a couple of days ago which was a M/M fantasy romance which SHOULD have been good, had it not COMPLETELY failed at the power balance in the BDSM relationship. I mean, I admit I'm no expert, but even I can do better and writing isn't even my job.

Okay, there were a lot of other things that were wrong with that book — like the lazy world-building, repetitive characters, repetitive tropes, predictable plot etc. — but the thing that upset me the most was the power balance. Or lack thereof. I do NOT find it enjoyable to read about a sheltered and emotionally abused nineteen-year-old who is an unrecognised and powerless bastard child of a noble and so small and frail he is described as having hollowed-out bones like a bird, ending up as the submissive to a 27-year-old prince built like a tank and with enough influence, political power, and magic to literally rule an entire kingdom.

Like, knock yourself out if that's your thing — I'm happy for you — but it just felt icky to me.

I much prefer my astronomy lesbians, thank you.

Last Movie

I genuinely can't remember since I've watched so little lately. I think it might have been Gunpowder Milkshake back during New Year's?

I should maybe do something about that.

Currently Craving

Sleep. Or anything containing sugar to combat how tired I am. I couldn't sleep last night so today has been rough. But tomorrow will most likely be even rougher. I'm most likely going to end up with a fever. So yeah.

I tag whoever wants to do it! :D

[hydranomago]

[Lyrics & translation under cut]

Furui ARUBUMU no naka ni, kakurete omoide ga ippai Mujaki na egao no shita no, hizuke wa, haruka na MEMORII

The pages in this old album is full of hidden memories. Under these innocent smiles, it dates back to distant memories.

Toki wa mugen no tsunagari de, owari o omoi mo shinai ne Te ni todoku uchuu wa, kagirinaku sunde Kimi o tsusuinde ita

Time continually flows forever. If it ended, feelings wouldn't die off, would it? The universe that you can reach with your hands is exceedingly clear. It will envelop you.

Otona no kaidan noboru, kimi wa mada SHINDERERA sa Shiawase wa darekaga kitto, hakon de kureru to shinjiteru ne

Climbing up the steps to adulthood, you are still Cinderella. Fortune will surely come to everyone. Believe that the carriage will bring it about, ok?

Shoujo datta to itsu no hi ka, omou toki ga kuru no sa

Time will come where you'll wish for the days you were just a young girl.

Kirari komorebi no youna, mabushii omoide ga ippai Hitori dake yokomuku, kinen shashin da ne Koi o yumemiru koro

The way sunlight glitters as it filters through the trees is full of dazzling memories. You turn to the side by yourself. This was a commemoration photo, wasn't it? For those days where you dreamed of romance.

Garasu no kaidan oriru, garasu no kutsu SHINDERERA sa Odoriba de ashi o tomete, tokei no oto kinishite iru

Climbing down the glass steps with glass shoes is Cinderella. You stop your feet as you notice the chime of the clock in the ballroom.

Shoujo datta to natsukashii, furimuku hi ga aru no sa

There will be days you'll turn around and miss being just a young girl.

Otona no kaidan noboru, kimi wa mada SHINDERERA sa Shiawase wa darekaga kitto, hakon de kureru to shinjiteru ne

Climbing up the steps to adulthood, you are still Cinderella. Fortune will surely come to everyone. Believe that the carriage will bring it about, ok?

Shoujo datta to itsu no hi ka, omou toki ga kuru no sa Shoujo datta to natsukashii, furimuku hi ga aru no sa

Time will come where you'll wish for the days you were just a young girl. There will be days you'll turn around and miss being just a young girl.

Credit: http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/chihiroyonekura/omoidegaippai.htm

[write-it-motherfuckers]

🖤~Song Of The Day~🖤

The song of the day is:     Re:Tune - BattleImedley from Romancing Sa Ga 1,2,3,Romancing SAGA -Minstrel Song-  -by- Kenji Ito

The challenge is to write something based off of this song, be it the name, the cover, or the tune itself. Let your imagination go wild and see where the music takes you.

Have at it Darlings!

[pitagain]

#365DaysOfVGM Day 147:

Leonid Castle (Romancing SaGa 3 [1995])

‘Twas a good 10 or 11 days of really popular tracks, or at the very least, tracks from franchises almost everyone knows about. That streak had to meet its end someday, but don’t scroll past this one just yet, it has just as much appeal in the music department, perhaps maybe not in the areas you’re expecting. Without further ado…

Easily the most melancholy music I’ve heard on the Super Famicom, being a top favorite for sheer atmosphere and emotions for said atmosphere getting as close to perfection as possible, as short as it is! The heavy Drums keep you on your toes with how sudden their louder noises are, echo-ing across the halls. Those long, drawn-out Strings especially make it feel like a gigantic funeral for the many creatures now turned undead. It’s also a grim reminder of this vampire’s castle that you’re likely struggling to get to the deeper basement floors of, since most of the haunted creatures here will quickly wipe any team that isn’t already in late-game power.

Imagining this in the bleak-looking kind of final stage for any game that takes itself seriously enough, elaborates how much staying power this track has in my mind! I’d have to do a 2nd playthrough of Romancing SaGa 3 to confidently say if it’s worth playing these days, but I can tell you that I had a pretty good time with it during my 1st playthrough, tackling whichever challenges I stumbled upon along the way.

The lack of clear direction most SaGa games have, as well as their highly customizable characters that can eventually master any field in combat you desire, present a kind of openness that might not appeal to that many, but is part of SaGa’s identity (Want a team of only heavy sword users? Kinda impractical, but fun with enough planning, especially since you have plenty of different techniques to use for each weapon in its own limited point system, as if they were their own magic class! Oh, and you can recruit Leonid the vampire himself if you can get through his castle, with his own unique traits and magic class too!)

(Length before loop: 1+ minutes)

[mermaidsirennikita]

sorry if you've done this already but can you recommend HRs with age gaps? I always love your posts about historical romances

Thank you! I appreciate it.

And I do have some age gap recs! For context, while I personally don't think an age gap gets "impressive" until you hit 15 years, I know that isn't everyone's measure, so I began with a 10-year gap.

Olivia and The Masked Duke by Grace Callaway has a 10-12 year gap, heroine is between 18 and 20 and has known the hero since childhood, kinky and fun with some myster.

Glory and The Master of Shadows by Grace Callaway has a similar ga, hero is the heroine's mentor is determined to not give in but.... alas...

Fiona and The Enigmatic Earl by Grace Callaway is a marriage of convenience book, similar age gap, SUPER hot, both the hero and the heroine have secret identies~.

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Ship has a 20 year old heroine and a 43 year old hero (she maaay be 18) and he's her dad's BFF she decides to seduce.

What I Did for A Duke by Julie Anne Long is a lovely house party romance with a 20 year old heroine and a hero pushing forty who's trying to seduce her as revenge against her brother, who basically cucked him.

Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas--the main romance has two characters close in age, but the secondary romance (which is strong--it has its own POV chapters, etc) has a pretty substantial gap between a hero who needs to clean up his act and a heroine who holds him to that standard after her own trauma (her fiance died and she lost their baby after).

Lady Sophia's Lover by Lisa Kleypas has a a younger virginal character who installs herself as a maid in an older widower's house so she can have REVENGE.

Duke of Pleasure by Elizabeth Hoyt has a rakish duke hero and a younger (I wanna say 10-12 years) heroine who he runs into during an investigation. She's basically a street urchin who disguises herself as a boy often for safety, and I think that adds to this because he really awakens the grown woman~ in her. TW: violence because vigilantism, discussion of sexual abuse (I don't think towards either of the leads).

After Dark with the Duke by Julie Anne Long has a 25 year old scandalous opera singer heroine and a stuffy war hero 42 year old her who's literally about to become a grandpa. He looks down on her a lot, then they're forced to spend time together and he realizes she's amazing, of course.

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette has a 39 year old widowed heroine and a 28 year old hero who is her servant and then begins doing... other things... for her. TW: her dead husband was abusive in a very particular way, and there's a lot of discussions of SA in this.

Waiting for a Scot Like You by Eva Leigh has a heroine who's 46-47 and a 34 year old hero. She's widowed with grown children and is finally gonna get hers by attending this famous orgy, and he's her bodyguard on the trip.

[lemonkeiku]

Bambi : Old Comrades

Call of Duty Original Character Fic

Summary : During 'Old Comrades' mission, Price introduced Kyle a new figure; another SAS operator who had an extreme methode of interogating a subject.

Pairing: None. This story won't lead to any romance build up. Maybe platonic for later.

Words count: 4,216

Warnings: alternate universe, civilian hostages, violent description, possibly bad English especially the grammar (sorry, English is not my first language), lack of British written accent, inaccurate military term (I tried my best to do research).

Author's nore: This is the second part of my first series of How 141 met my OC; Bambi with Gaz. This part took a scene from Modern Warfare 2019.

31 OCTOBER 2019 1700 St. Petersburg, Russia.

Kyle had been so prepared for this day. From the moment he walked into the room, he knew it was time to take The Butcher down for what he'd done at the Embassy. In fact, he couldn't wait to get down there and take The Butcher out, if only Price wouldn't hold him back and make him stick to the plan. Although this mission was technically unsanctioned, no one wanted to draw too much attention to themselves. Kyle himself didn't want to start an unwanted war.

The plan was to ambush The Butcher and bring him in for questioning. They needed to know where the gas was. They also needed to know where Hadir was and what his plan was. After Hadir’s betrayal, it was only a matter of time before he did whatever he had planned.

On that small flat, they’ve been watching over The Butcher since his arrival. Who knows what happened inside the building, but clearly, they knew The Butcher was in there. As Kyle saw the situation, there were not that many men guarding outside. Apparently The Butcher didn’t bring big numbers of men, so it was a good start.

“Let’s gear up, get evil– clock’s tickin’.”

Three of them–including Nikolai–started to move to a different room. All their gears were there and Nikolai made sure everything would be untraceable. Considering they had to stay low, they got enough supplies to catch The Butcher. Kyle wouldn’t complain. It was an easy job, he was sure he wouldn't need any additional ammo.

“Rally at the warehouse,” Nikolai informed. As far as Kyle knew, that was where they would bring The Butcher for questioning.

“Rog’. Bring the package.” Price’s response made Kyle question his head. He didn’t know anything about any package. But for now, he thought it would be something to make The Butcher talk. “And don’t forget to pick up that Young Lady,” Price added.

Nikolai nodded his head. “On my way, Captain.”

“Young Lady?” Kyle was confused–obviously. There was a package that he didn’t know about and now there was someone called ‘Young Lady’. He couldn’t help himself to wonder if he really knew about the whole plan. “Another old comrade of yours, sir?” He guessed as they made their way to leave the flat.

“Not really. Just someone who can make our plan run easier,” Price answered. “I know you want another shot at The Butcher.”

Both Kyle and Price went down the stairs as they stopped right on the exit door. They needed to check the situation again before stepping out of the building. The building they were in was directly across the target location and there were four men guarding outside. All of them were armed–definitely.

“We sweep the guards up so they can’t alert the others, then move in on the rear door,” Price briefed. “Guns on my signal, not before.”

“Rog’.”

Kyle was so ready behind Price as they managed to leave the building, stepping their foot outside where the four men were aware of their presence. He tried to act as calm as he could, especially after he saw how calm Price was. They proceeded to approach the four men. It was obvious they would start to act aggressively towards the two.

Price was the one who stepped closer as one of those men approached him. Price didn’t try to reach his gun–yet, even though the man in front of him swung his gun in the air. Not gonna lie, Kyle didn’t feel at ease seeing how the man was getting more aggressive on each step.

“Easy. Easy, mate, we’ve got permits, alright?” Price tried to convince and of course it wasn’t convincing enough.

The man was pointing his gun now at Price. “You’re not welcome here! Go away!”

“Show him, Kyle–Now..!”

Kyle drew his gun immediately. He took out two guards in a split second, as fast as he could when Price shot two more before anyone could open fire. They didn't waste any time at all. They had to find out the whereabouts of Hadir and the gas as soon as they could.

They moved quickly to the door of a building where The Butcher was. The door led them down into a basement level. Kyle could hear the distant voice of a man speaking. It must be The Butcher.

For the time being, it would be best for them to have a look at the situation they were about to face. Kyle took the smallest step he could so that no one would be alarmed. Price was right behind him, making sure that there was no extra treat that was following them.

To the room, where The Butcher’s voice came from, Kyle could see him from between the racks. It seemed like he conducted a meeting with three AQ members. Whatever it was, Kyle won’t let it last longer.

“There he is…” Price whispered behind him. As a sign, he patted Kyle on the shoulder.

Kyle shot two of the men around The Butcher, while Price took out another man. They were able to take out the guards, but The Butcher was quick to react and took off running.

“Butcher is running! Get after him!”

Kyle didn't hold back. He ran. He ran as soon as he saw The Butcher running. Even when some AQ soldiers tried to stop him, he wasn't going to let him get away this time. He tried to escape through the bar and went to the other side of the building. The Butcher was even sneaky enough to run out into the main street, where many civilians ran in panic at his appearance. Not only that, but he didn't hesitate to shoot, regardless of whether the civilians were hit or not.

Kyle and Price ran after the man through several buildings. Many AQ soldiers appeared out of nowhere, ambushing them and trying to stop them as The Butcher continued to try to escape. For a second of thought, Kyle was afraid that he might lose The Butcher. The man didn’t stop and it felt like they couldn’t stop him with dozens of AQ soldiers kept coming and shooting at them. Not to mention the fact that they have to run all over the city, in and out of buildings, to catch up with the Butcher before they lose him.

They left the café and returned to the main road. There they saw the Butcher still trying to escape. But to their surprise, a black van hit The Butcher hard at high speed, knocking him to the ground. Turned out the driver of the van was Nikolai. He grabbed The Butcher and dragged him into the van with Kyle’s help.

“Who are you? So my men can send your heads home to your families…” The Butcher still could talk apparently, even after Nikolai hit him so hard.

“Fuck off, shit-pouch,” Kyle cursed.

“How’s the preparation?” Price asked as he was jumping onto the passenger seat.

“Everything’s ready, Captain,” Nikolai answered. The van started to move, driving them away before the police arrived.

Price added, “And the Young Lady ?”

The Young Lady was mentioned again and, yet, Kyle still didn’t know who she was or what was her role on this mission. Kyle couldn't guess whether she was from the SAS, CIA or one of the old comrades Price had mentioned earlier.

“She’s already there.”

Kyle definitely had so many questions but this wasn’t the right time to ask. For now, he just needed to follow his Captain and see what’s coming.

—

They’re van arrived at a warehouse in the suburbs. The place was quite big but the only men they could see were people involved in the mission. Kyle thought that was quite reasonable. It’d be a problem if there were civilians there.

As they entered a building, Kyle’s eyes immediately locked on a young woman standing near another truck that parked there. He never saw her before– maybe, he wasn’t sure. She didn't look familiar. She had wavy black hair with eyes as blue as the ocean–literally. It was quite noticeable actually.  And another thing that really stood out was her dark purple lipstick she was using.

She must be the Young Lady that they had been talking about. It was the only reason why she was there.

“Having a run around, eh?” She grinned, most likely to Price.

As some men brought The Butcher inside the warehouse, Price seemed to be walking directly to the young woman. Kyle even saw them shaking hands that indicated that they already knew each other.

“Diggory,” he greeted . “Thanks for coming.”

“Gerald did a great job at convincing me. You’re lucky I managed to slip between my schedule,” she responded, making Price chuckled.

“How’s your wound?” he asked.

“Try to be nice, yeah, Captain?”

“You got me.”

“I've been back on duty since 2 months ago.” She crossed her arms. “Clearly you've missed the news.”

The two of them kept talking for a while like they were trying to catch up with each other. That made Kyle wonder if both of them really knew each other for some time. And after a little observation–he could be wrong, but Kyle felt that the young woman might be younger than him. She had a warm expression on her face for the entire time. She also sounded easy going. Most of the time she talked very casually but tried to stay respectful toward Price. 

“Garrick.” Price looked at him. “This is Corporal Diggory. SAS. She’ll help us get what we need from The Butcher.”

“It’s Thea.” She smiled at him. “But Diggory’s fine.”

“Glad you’re able to join us.” The two of them shaked hands.

“Just giving the Captain a little favor,” she replied.

“Let’s not waste any more time, shall we? Diggory, stand by for the packages. I’ll call you when you’re needed.”

“Rog’ that.”

—

The Butcher definitely won’t talk. It has been more than an hour since they tried to get intel from him but he gave them nothing. Yegor also seemed to be getting tired of beating him relentlessly from earlier. He was really hard to break.

Kyle stood there, watching the entire session. Actually, he was already furious that he couldn't do anything about it. If not for the information they needed, Kyle wanted to kill that man right now. He didn't stop chattering, trying to provoke them all.

“You can’t hurt me, you weak piece of shit!”

Price seemed unbothered.

“But you, Captain. Oh, you can do better than that… You think I forgot your face, SAS?” He was chattering again. “Or you, Sergeant?”

Kyle took the bait.

“You motherfucker–” His anger controlled him eventually. His anger was almost overwhelming and he was about to punch that man if only Price didn’t stop it. 

“Hey! Get your head in the game, Sergeant,” Price warned him.

“We need to break this bastard, Captain…”

“We are about to…” he assured. “You go to Nikolai, you get the package, you come back here. Alright? And bring Diggory with you.”

Kyle didn’t talk much. He didn’t say anything, actually. He immediately turned himself back and walked out through the door.

He could see Thea was still there, standing and waiting as another van reverse pulled into the warehouse. The van stopped with not only Kyle and Thea, but also Nikolai walked closer to the back door of the van.

That was another thing Kyle didn’t know anything about; the packages. Deep down there, Kyle felt already annoyed with the sudden addition of Thea to the mission. But his question about her was already being answered–even it was not a clear answer. Now, he still had a lot of questions about the mysterious packages.

What was the package? And how were they going to use it against The Butcher? Was it really gonna work?

He felt like they kept him in the dark about this one.

“Sergeant Garrick. Corporal Diggory,” Nikolai said. “Package is in the back.”

“What is it?” Kyle questioned.

“Oh, you're gonna love it.” Kyle saw Thea grinning at the van’s door, making him curious if whatever is in there will make The Butcher talk.

Nikolai also sounded enthusiastic, “Truth serum.”

Truth serum? Kyle was unsure whether Nikolai meant it literally or metaphorically. He knew truth serum wasn’t a real thing. At least, it must be something that could make The Butcher’ spill the truth.

He approached the door as his hand grabbed both of the door’s handle and opened it widely. The first thing that came through his mind when he saw what was in the van was pure confusion.

In that van, there was a woman and a little boy–probably her son, hugging each other in fear. The mother started begging him not to hurt her and her son right after he saw him open the door. She kept saying she knew nothing before Kyle even started to talk.

Kyle was really confused right now. His body froze, couldn't even move. His mind couldn’t even think.

What is it? Why are we kidnapping innocent people?

“Bargaining chips… for negotiation,” Nikolai explained. “Perhaps, the Butcher will have a change of heart.”

There were already many questions piling up in Kyle's mind and now it felt like he was getting more questions than answers. He looked at Thea as he asked if she knew about this too. Seeing how calm she was, he got his answer immediately.

He really wanted to ask about this, but he couldn't. All he could do right now was pull the two of them out from the van.

“Please don’t hurt my son– we’ll do what you say…” the poor woman begged.

“Then move out.” Thea’s tone was cold as she didn’t question her doing like Kyle did. Her eyes changed, her warm expression she showed before was also gone like she was a whole new person.

The poor woman responded with a scream, her son was terrified as they were guided to the warehouse door. She tried to calm her son down while walking through the door. And those scenery didn’t budge Thea at all who walked ahead of them . That was really concerning for Kyle.

“Keep begging like that when you are inside,” Thea told them. “It might help you there.”

“What you’re doing is unforgivable. We are innocent people…” the woman claimed.

This time, Thea smiled but she didn’t say anything. She took off something from her pocket; a pair of black gloves and wore them as they were about to arrive at the door. Another thing Kyle noticed was a gun on the back. She didn’t try to conceal it like she meant the mother and her son to see it.

They stopped right before the door. Then Price walked out from the door like he was welcoming them. He stood there for a while, even the mother started to beg again. But just like Thea, he didn’t react besides telling them to keep silent.

“Kyle, you don’t have to do this. Thea will take over from here,” Price stated. “You’re in or out?”

Thea turned at Kyle, almost like she questioned the same thing to him.

There shouldn't be any question about what Kyle wanted. He wanted to see the Butcher break, no matter what kind of method they were going to use.

“I’m in, sir… All in.”

“Good.” Price opened the door. “Hand them off to Yegor.”

Thea walked in right after Price. Kyle was still with the hostages as they entered the room. The Butcher immediately reached when he saw the woman and her son, recognised them as his family and demanded to let them go.

A lot of things happened in just a short period of time. As Kyle could see, Yegor took over the hostages, sat them on a chair next to the Butcher while still hugging each other and covered their heads with sacks. Thea pulled her gun out right in front of the Butcher, who started yelling, and his family.

Somehow, this was too much to see for Kyle. No wonder they didn’t want this on record. What they did here was almost illegal– it felt wrong.

“What did you do?! Your son is here! Your own child!” the woman demanded her husband.

“He’s got no problem hurting children… Isn’t that right, Sergeant?”

Kyle knew exactly what Price referred to. He remembered clearly how the Butcher killed an innocent child in the Embassy. How ironic, now he begged his son not to be harmed.

“None…” Kyle answered coldly.

“What have you done?! You promised you’d keep this away from us!” The woman kept pleading that left the Butcher speechless, enough to put his guard down.

“Captain,” Yegor interrupted. “I can’t do this.”

Even Yegor couldn’t handle this. Kyle won’t be surprised, neither Price.

“You’re excused,” Price let him walk out the room, leaving the three of them with the hostages. “She’ll take over from here.”

Yoger was already gone, even Price took a few steps back as he was letting Thea proceed the session. Kyle also stayed where he was, observed whatever was going to happen. At this angle, Kyle could only see her back. He didn’t know what expression she gave right now, let alone what she was thinking that could make her stand up straight there.

The woman kept begging for her life and her son. It was almost too hard to hear. Both of them were terrified and they had the right to feel so.

“Let’s make it quick, shall we?” She raised her gun to the head of the woman and her son without hesitation. “Which head will get you talking?”

The woman started screaming and her son began to cry. Thea’s voice alone was enough to make the atmosphere more intense. Whatever face she made, it managed to make the Butcher frightened.

“Don’t… don’t… don’t–Hey, hey, hey, hey!!”

“Please, please… We are not involved with any of this. I assure you…”

Thea was unmoved. She unpinned her gun’s safety just to make three of them more frightened. “I asked, which head?”

“Hey! Hey! Look at me! Stop! Stop! They have nothing to do with this!” The Butcher yelled, begging for Thea to stop pointing her gun to his family.

“THEN TALK!”

A shot from her gun exploded, aiming right a few centimeters away from his wife's head. The wife screamed even louder with her son that could stop crying in her arms. Kyle was shocked, but tried not to let any gasp out from his mouth. He never thought she would do it. She maybe didn’t aim her head, but what if she will? Is she going to go that extreme?

“Okay, okay! Stop! Please! Please, leave them alone, they have no information for you.”

Thea fixed her aim, now pointed her gun right to his son’s head and made sure the Butcher saw it. “I know. But you have. Now start talking or I’ll make sure to aim for your son's head next.”

“You heard her. Where’s the gas?” Price slipped back in.

But it seemed like the Butcher forgot about Thea’s threat, so he pushed off the Captain. “Fuck you!” he cursed.

Price was also getting impatient. He raised his chin at Thea as a signal and she immediately grabbed the son away from his mother, creating more panic among the parents who started begging even harder. The voices of screaming, begging and crying echoed through the room they were in.

“Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no! Leave him, leave him! No!” the Butcher kept begging.

“No, no, please! Leave him alone! No!” and his wife cried for his son.

But Thea showed him no mercy as the tip of her gun now pointed to his wife’s head while holding his son. “Last chance, where is the gas?” she demanded.

“Listen to me, listen to me! Karetka Theater–”

“Lying!” Price cut him off.

“No, I’m not! I swear to you. I’m not! The gas is there. I swear!” He didn’t sound like he’s lying for Kyle. With his family in danger, lying was probably the last thing he would do.

Kyle now decided to join the session. He couldn’t just watch there and not do anything. At least Thea already did the hardest part. Now they managed to break the Butcher, it was the right time to dig more information from him.

“Where’s Hadir?” Kyle questioned.

The Butcher now turned to him. “The ‘youngblood’? You– you’re too late to stop him. General Barkov will already be dead.”

Kyle didn’t exactly understand what he meant, but it was clear that Hadir went after Barkov. The only thing that remained the same was he wanted Barkov dead.

“Hadir– he’s going after Barkov,” Price concluded. “We’re done with him. You take a minute.”

Thea let the son back to his mother as Price walked away. Kyle stayed there for a moment when someone handed him a gun. It was Thea with the same gun she had been using.

“You look like someone with a lot of anger, Sergeant. Guess I’ll let you decide his fate,” she suggested when she handed over the gun to Kyle. “My job is done. I’ll see you outside.”

Kyle took the gun– yes he did, but somehow he decided to spare the Butcher’s life and let the Russians have him. Knowing his family was involved and in danger because of his actions was punishment enough for him. For the rest of his life he had to face his own family who were disappointed in him.

He walked outside, closed the door behind her before catching after Thea.

“Hey– Thea!” he called. “Was that really necessary?”

She turned around, stopped her steps to face him. She gave him a confused look, as she questioned his question. “Which one?”

“Threatening his family– threatening his wife and son. Do you even agree with this method?”

“But it did work, didn't it? So, I’d say it was necessary,” she smiled.

“Does it have to go that far? Threatening people who might not know anything?”

“We fight for what we think is right, Sergeant. So do what you think is necessary. Even if it means over-egging the pudding.”

His morals felt like crashing to each other. He completely agreed with her, but if it meant they had to hurt innocent people just because they were related to their target, it felt wrong.

She then sighed with both of her hands on her waist. “Look– if you’re wondering, was I really gonna shoot them, the answer is no. My job is just to give him a little push so he would talk by any means necessary, but– of course– I draw a line how far I'd go. So don’t worry– I’m not that mad,” she added– or more like clarified.

Strange, it made Kyle feel a little relieved.

“Happy?” she asked.

Kyle hated to admit it. “At least we got the location of the gas.”

He hated to admit that her method did work. They knew where the gas was. They even got to know what Hadir’s next plan was.

“Come on, Sergeant– we need to move.”

Price was already in front of a Russian police car that was parked there. Kyle heard that Nikolai said it was going to help them out of the city.

“Garrick– Get in the car. Cover us,” Price told him.

Kyle was about to get to the car but he saw Thea was staying with Nikolai.

“Is she not coming with us?” Kyle asked.

“Me? Oh, no, no,” she answered. “I need to get back before anyone notices I was gone. I have my own things to do after all.” She smiled again and this time, her warm expression was back like he first met her a couple hours ago.

It was a unique experience for Kyle to meet someone like Thea. She was young but she seemed to know things more than he did. She also handled the situation well and stuck to her objective.

And he thought Price would agree.

“Thank you for your assistance, Diggory. You did a great job. I owe you one,” Price praised her.

“Yeah, yeah… Glad I could help,” she replied before walking towards the car. “I’ll see you around, Sergeant. Pleasure to work with you.”

“You too, Corporal.” He opened the car’s door and hopped in, rolling down his side’s windows.

“Bambi.”

“Sorry?”

“Next time we meet, call me Bambi.” She smiled, putting both hands on her waist. “That goes for you too, Captain. Try to start calling me with that name next time.”

“You got your own callsign now?” Price stuck his head out of his seat window

“Yeah… I just got my own weird name and it'd better I tell you now rather than later.”

“Bambi, yeah? It suits you,” Price chuckled.

“Suits me my ass.”

“Diggory. Language.”

“Whatever. You better off now before I flip over this car.”

Kyle couldn’t help himself from laughing to their interaction. But joke aside, she was right, they had to go now. They shouldn’t waste any more time by now.

Price drove the car off as Kyle could see Thea waving at them– vanished from his eyes as they left the warehouse. 

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Don't Blame Me | John 'Soap' Mactavish x F!OC

Chapter 15: Tis' the Damn Season

Ao3 | Masterpost

Nina thinks about her future with John

General Tags: Fake Marriage, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Slow Build, Canon-Typical Violence

CW: graphic depictions of violence

Words: 2.5k

He never considered himself a violent man. Work was violence, yes but he was not brutal nor cruel. But them? He would be brutal to them. He would be cruel to them. 

New methods of torture would bare his name when he was through. He would shatter bone, flay skin, gouge out chunks of flesh. If they hurt her, he would rip them apart and put them back together just to do it again. He would remember their faces, burn them into his own skin if he needed to. He would do horrible, grotesque things to them. To these men who wished to hurt her. To the man whose hand rested on her face. The same bastard from that gas station in Montana. He should have beaten him when he had the chance. Left him bloody on the side of the road. 

“Take your fucking hand off her!” He barked. Her back was arched, trying to get away from him despite her hands tied behind the chair. He could feel warm blood dripping down his face. The front door was still open, blowing cold snow into the house. Neither of them were fully dressed. He’d put on joggers but she was wearing his sweatshirt. He stretched his legs to touch his foot against hers. He was there. She wasn’t alone. He was there. He would stay right there.

He was pulled back by his shoulders. The man touching Nina lightly slapped her face. She didn’t even react. 

“You’re not in control here anymore.” The man said. “Little Nina here has given us quite a bit of trouble over the past couple of weeks, haven’t you Nina?”

She’d frozen up. He could tell by the way the corner of her mouth twitched that she had bit down on the inside of her cheek. 

“Answer me, Nina.” He slapped her cheek again. John lurched forward in his chair. The man tsked at him. “Don’t make this worse for yourselves.”

“Now, I’m afraid I’ve been quite rude so far.” His other hand lay against Nina’s cheek as he stroked both sides of her face. “Now we all know Miss. Nina here but I’m afraid she’s failed to introduce us to you, her lovely husband.” 

John didn’t answer, his eyes kept flicking back and forth between Nina and the man. The masked man behind him grabbed the ball chain around his neck and wrenched it, almost knocking him off the chair. He examined the Id discs attached.

“J, MacTavish. SAS.” 

“Impressive. You have good taste, Nina.” He let his hands fall to her shoulders. John’s stomach twisted in knots everytime he touched her. “I’m Marcus Williamson. Behind you is Joseph Baxter and to our left is Andrew Spears. You unfortunately killed Ben. We’re all SAS. Well, we were until little Nina’s dear old dad decided to betray us.” He walked around in front of Nina to address him.

“We were never rule followers, strictly, but we did what we needed to. Until Lewis got a stick up his ass about it. I was his lieutenant. We needed to weed out some hostiles, he disagreed with my methods and I was discharged. We all were.”

“You got whatever you deserved!” Nina snapped. The man turned on a heel and slapped her across the face. John clenched his fists, pulling against his restraints. Marcus grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

“Do not talk about things you don’t understand!” He screamed, spit flying across her face. “You think because your father told you war stories you have any idea what happened?”

“He didn’t tell me. He never told me anything. I can just tell you’re a cunt. ” She spat. 

He raised his hand to slap her but stopped.

“All those cowardly humanitarians say that torture doesn’t work but that’s because they’re doing it wrong.” He walked back behind Nina and grabbed her hair, pulling her head up to stare at John. “People are loyal to their causes. They don’t betray the people they care about.”

He nodded his head to the left and John felt someone step behind him. 

“That’s why you have to go after those people. Pain will never hurt as much as seeing someone you love suffer, right Nina?”

A nylon cord was wrapped around his neck. Nina was whimpering and shaking her head. 

“Please, please don’t. Please.” She started fighting against her restraints. John shook his head at her, trying to reassure her. He would be okay. 

“Just tell me where your father is, Nina. That’s all I want. That’s what was promised to us. All the way back in Kyrat. We got your little message.” The rope was cord back, not enough to choke him. The threat hung thickly. “You said you knew and would help us. Don’t get cold feet now.”

“I don’t know! I promise I don’t know! I haven’t seen him in years. Please don’t!” She screamed. Another nod and the cord was pulled. His eyes were watering. He tried to take shallow breaths. Deep ones would allow the cord to be pulled tighter. He kept his eyes on her, trying to seem reassuring. Her lip was bleeding. 

“That’s not what you said, Nina. Are you a liar Nina? Or do you just not care about this man?” He tugged on the neck of her sweatshirt, pulling it down. John jolted in his chair. The cord cut into his skin. “Looks like you put out for him. If you don’t care, that'd make you a whore, Nina. You’re not a whore, are you? Thought you were raised better than that.” 

John would kill him. He would cut him open and pull out whatever he could till he died. He just had to kill the other two first. He could do it. He’d had worse odds. They’d all pay for this. 

The cord pulled tighter. Nina was thrashing in her seat but Marcus held her head forward. Black spots were forming in his peripheral. 

“So not a whore, just a liar.” He slapped her again. John’s growl turned garbled in his throat. “Looks like he cares about you too. Such a shame he’s going to die.”

Nina let out a terrified sob. His ears were pounding and he could hear her begging. 

“If you tell us the truth, Nina, we’ll do it quickly. Simple shot in the back of the head. If you keep lying, I’ll gut him myself.” 

John stomped his feet on the floor. She was sobbing now. 

“I don’t know. I’m not lying. Please. Please.” She hiccuped. He hated seeing her like this. He wanted to tell her that it would be okay. 

“He’s seen my face. Knows our names, Nina.” He stroked her hair. “It’s not your fault. It’s your father’s fault. Does that compel you at all?” He shook her hard by the shoulders. “That because of your father, you’re going to see what your dear Scotsman looks like on the inside.” 

She reached her foot out, like he did, desperately trying to touch him. She couldn’t reach him. He met her in the middle. 

He wasn’t afraid to die. Not now. He’d let them torture him if it meant her survival. Captain Price was close. He’d said he was on his way. He had to keep her alive till then. Do whatever it took to keep her alive till Price got there. He’d lay over like a dog and beg if he had to. 

“Don’t cry, love.” Marcus hushed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It’s not the first time someone has died for your father’s mistakes. We didn’t want to do it but he refused to take back his testimony. He didn’t listen so Ben cut the break lines in your mum’s car.”

Nina froze. She was staring straight down. Tears were dripping down her shivering thighs. 

“Oh, don’t tell me he never told you.” He stroked Nina’s hair a couple of times before pulling her head up roughly. She made a choked gasp as he forced her eyes on him. “We told him. Take it back or deal with the consequences. We were his brothers. If he would tear apart our little family, we’d tear apart his.”

Nina was silently sobbing, her shoulders shaking hard. 

“You were lucky, weren’t you Nina? Survived with just a little scratch. Lucky that Sergeant cared about you. Heard he carried you all the way back. That bastard Price always cared too much.”

“Should we visit him after this Nina?” He was rubbing her shaking shoulders. “Heard he’s a Captain now. Is your darling husband one of his boys? What part of him should we cut off to bring him?”

“Finger or two?” He leaned down to lay his head against hers. “An ear? We can just start cutting and decide afterward.”

Nina slowly turned her head to glare at him. She slammed her forehead against his mouth. He stumbled backwards to the floor. 

“Fucking cunt!” He kicked the chair leg and knocked her over. She hit the floor hard, falling out of the chair. Marcus got up and kicked her hard in the stomach. 

He would get them out. He had to. He promised her. Promised to protect her. Promised not to leave her. He wouldn’t break that promise. He’d carry her. He’d carry her all the way back to England if he had to. 

Another kick to the stomach. Nina yelped like a dog. She tried to inch away but Marcus hooked his foot behind her knees and pulled her back. 

His lungs burned. He was going to lose consciousness soon. He couldn’t leave her alone. He couldn’t break his promise. 

He kicked her again, hard enough to send her body skidding across the floor. 

John threw his weight to the side as hard as he could. He hit the floor and angled his arms to slam his wrists against his back, trying to break the zips. Took 2 tries but they snapped. He flipped to his back and kicked the nearest man in the knees. He stumbled and John launched himself at him. They both fell to the floor. There was a ripping pain in his leg. A knife handle was sticking out of his thigh. He knew he shouldn’t but he could hear Nina crying behind him. He gritted his teeth as he pulled the knife out. With two hands he drove it into the neck of the man beneath him. He turned and threw the knife at the other masked man who was coming at him, gun raised. His aim wasn’t as good as Ghost’s but it hit his arm and the gun hit the floor.

Marcus had turned his anger towards him now. He shoved his comrade to the floor with a curse and stalked over to him. He got a swift kick to the chest, knocking the wind out of him. He fell onto his back and was pressed to the floor with a boot on his throat. Marcus pulled a pistol from his side holster.

“I want you to know that she will pay for what you just did.” He cocked the gun. 

“Neen, run!” He gasped. He could see her, blood dripping from her lip. Cheeks bright red and tear-stained. Love was a strong word. Maybe he loved her or how she made him feel. Maybe he loved the future he’d built up in his head. Maybe he just loved her laugh and the way she held his hand when they were in crowds. How she was always willing to comfort him and listen to anything he had to say. How she was the same type of scared he was. 

He nodded the best he could. Let him die if it meant she had a chance. He waved his hand and she took off.

She ripped the knife from the masked man’s arm as she did, leaving him screaming. If she could get to the car. She’d seen him hot-wire it enough times. She could follow the road back to town. She could escape. Find Price. 

He just hoped she didn’t turn back. Not like last time. 

‘Just keep running Neen. Don’t fucking stop. Leave me. Please just leave,’ He tried to convey by looking at her. 

She was gone. Half naked with a knife she ran into the cold. 

Marcus was screaming at his comrade who was now spluttering blood all over the floor. He stepped on John’s leg wound. He let out a soundless scream, clenching his fists so hard it felt like his fingers would snap in half. 

“You’re both too much fucking trouble.” Marcus kept his foot resting on John’s leg. He looked down at him. “When I catch her, I’m going to slit both your throats. Maybe you can crawl to each other before you die.” 

John tried to grab at his leg but he kicked his hand.

“Break his fucking hands. I’m going after her.” He barked before running out after Nina. 

She had time. She could already be gone. Please let her be gone. 

The masked man struggled to get up. John couldn’t even force himself to sit up. His entire pant leg was soaked in blood. He did his best to keep pressure on it with one hand while he dragged himself across the floor. 

The stabbed man had a sidearm. He just had to reach it. 

He could hear the lone survivor struggling behind him. Maybe he’d hit him better than he thought. Nina had also dragged the knife when she pulled it. He was cursing under his breath as he stood, using the table to leverage himself.

Two men, slipping on their own blood trying desperately to kill the other first. 

There were boot prints outside. Heavy-footed running. 

Has he caught Nina already? 

The image of her holding her open throat flashed in his mind. He crawled harder, digging his nails into the wood. 

He’d hold her as best as he could. He’d kiss her hair and try his best to let her know how sorry he was. Sorry that he couldn’t save them. He should have slept on the couch. He was selfish and wanted to feel her body against his. He let his guard down. He thought they’d be safe. 

He hoped she died first. That she could pass in his arms knowing he was there and he didn’t leave her. They’d have to pry his body off of her. 

He’d fight through hell all the way to St. Peter’s gates just so he could tell her he was sorry. 

He grabbed the gun. 

In the next life, he’d travel the world until he found her.

He took the pressure off his wound to make sure it was loaded.

He’d swim down the River Styx just so he could hold her hand in the underworld.

He rolled over onto his back with a groan. His hands shook as he aimed the gun.

If there was nothing waiting for them after death. He’d find her in the silence and let his dust settle next to hers at the end of time. 

He shot. 

He missed.

It hit the wall behind him, almost a meter off. The man laughed. 

“I might just kill you now. I want to hear her scream when-”

There was a pop and he slumped to the ground. The heavy boots were at the door. Ghost stood there, gun raised. 

“Johnny!” Ghost yelled as he ran over to him. He knelt down and pressed a hand firmly on his knife wound. 

John tried to push him off. She was still out there. 

“Nina.” He choked out, pointing towards the door. He looked at Ghost pleadingly. He’d beg if he could. 

‘Please save her. Do what I can’t’

Ghost looked between him and door and nodded. He understood. 

“Soap needs medevac. Two are KIA in the living room. I’m going after the girl.” He said to his radio.

“Price and Gaz are coming up the road. Stay with us till they get here. I’ll find the girl.” He clapped him on the shoulder and headed out, slamming the door closed behind him. 

The gust of wind that blew with the door made him realize his face was wet. It was the blood from his temple. He’d been crying. 

He laid back on the floor. He’d stay alive till he saw her again. Till he knew she was alright.

Tag List: @yeyinde @queen-ilmaree @yearningforsappho @mykneeshurt @gogh-with-the-flow

LMK if you want to be added for this or any other fic 💗