#Right Opinions from an Autistic Teenager

[beestandsforbiancanottheanimal]

"tim's favorite taylor song-" WRONG first of all that boy is a 90's boy let him be butttt if we're going that road anyway tim would obviously be more of a lana del rey fan like please

[nekropsii]

Do you have any thoughts on Equius

Equius is a fucked up kid who has done a lot wrong, but he is still a kid. He reads as a startlingly real portrayal of a pubescent autistic boy with an unhealthy and shaky grasp of his budding, overwhelming sexuality, with a concerning amount of influence from the internet. He is the result of adults failing him, and exposing him to hardcore fetish porn at an age too early. This is a real kind of guy that exists. A very common one, who I have met, like, at least 40 of.

Like Eridan, he feels like a kid stuck in a pipeline — except instead of the alt-right pipeline, it’s fetishism and hypersexuality. He feels like a pretty solid example of how getting involved in NSFW spaces online as a child can both deeply fuck up your sexuality and completely destroy your perception of what consent is, and what is and is not okay. He doesn’t have a grasp on boundaries whatsoever, and while this manifests in ways that are quite honestly horrifying and uncomfortable — like constantly projecting his Caste-Play BDSM fetishes onto nonconsenting, unsuspecting individuals, and… The things he did to Aradia — I cannot help but view him as an autistic boy having a rough time of puberty who got groomed through the internet over-exposing him to pornography at an early age. He’s deeply sympathetic to me from that angle. Again, I have met this kid. Homestuck is fantastic at presenting characters that are exact archetypes of real people you have known, be it personally or not. People you would have either been close friends with in middle school, or terrorized by in a random chat room on the internet. Maybe they were even you! There’s a complete nonzero chance someone is reading this who has played the role of Equius in their youth, who is totally fine and healthy now. And if that’s true, and this describes you… I’m proud of your growth!

Back to Analysis- His ardent Hemoloyalty is fascinating, also. I’ve written about this before, but there’s something compelling and very realistic about how his bigotry comes from a place of deep insecurity, rather than pride. I find bigotry coming from insecurity to be more common than it coming from overt pride. Many fictional bigots have such a genuine ego to them, a fine layer of paint labeled Badassery, when for the most part real life bigots are total losers with nothing better to do than worry about… Where someone was born, or how much melanin they have, or what’s in their pants, or whatever.

I get why people don’t tend to be fond of him, but the disquieting parts of his character are both very deliberate choices and also shockingly… Earnest, in a weird, Hussian fashion. I’ve never quite seen a character with his traits get portrayed before. He’s easy to work with, analytically speaking, you just have to be willing to stick your hands in the uncomfortable muck that is messy teenage sexuality. Many aren’t willing to, which is fair! But many also mislabel his uncomfortable traits as not intentionally uncomfortable, or simply a product of Hussie being weird and wrong and having bad opinions. This… Just blatantly isn’t the case. Sometimes fiction isn’t comfortable on purpose. Big whoop.

I think Equius could’ve been quite a fine person, had he been given the room to grow up. He’s like Jake to me in the sense that he’s one of the only characters I genuinely wouldn’t mind seeing expanded upon more, provided he be taken seriously, and not completely sanded down.

Alas.

[worlds-worst-ships]

Do you seriously, actually ship it?

Okay. Lets talk. Because apparently some of you are defending... well... "that" (under the cut)

"He's autistic! It was a stim!"

If you genuinely think that this has ANYTHING to do with autism, you are an objectively stupid person. Like, your brain is so fucking smooth, it puts the surface of freshly tempered glass to shame. You're a barely functional reprobate with subhuman intelligence who has no idea how to form thoughts so you let a 50 year old billionaire who spends too much time on his phone decide your thought process for you.

"He was throwing his heart out to the crowd!"

Now, I don't really play baseball, basketball, netball, or any sport where you throw anything other than sometimes darts, but... is that how you throw? You perfectly extend your arm at that angle? Twice? After spending years posting tweets that very much align with Nazi viewpoints? Do you throw a pitch in baseball and scream SIEG HEIL as the ball hurtles towards your opponent? No. Stop being a fucking idiot. This was deliberate. He did it twice.

"He's autistic! He doesn't know better!"

Please comment if you actually think this so I can personally call you a stupid cunt and block you. We absolutely do know better. Autism and Nazism aren't mutually exclusive.

"You're inhibiting his free speech!"

1st amendment only applies to censorship from government positions of power, which I am not, as should be obvious from the fact that I have no power to censor him. Though I shouldn't have to explain that.

"Well, he's gonna get away with it so stop being so sensitive!"

Yes. He is. But that's not a flex, that's A FUCKING MASSIVE PROBLEM. Call me sensitive if you want, but absolutely every single one of you should be offended by this. Did you pay attention in history class, or were you too tired after a long night of being fucking railed raw and bone dry by propaganda on Twitter? Moron.

"Well, he's rich and you're not, so there!"

Yep. Got me there. He's rich, and I'm not. Yknow, Hitler and a lot of Nazi officers were pretty minted too. So was Epstein, King Leopold, Stalin, Jimmy Saville, every MP currently serving in parliament... but sure, they're great people because they're rich, right?

"You're just a stupid offended libtard!"

Google "The Holocaust".

"Well, you're still using his app!"

His app? You mean the one he bought, then fucking ruined because he has no idea how to run it, right? And you because its basically impossible to find mutuals as a vtuber without it, you knew that, right? "His" app, please, you probably think Ronald McDonald makes your burger when you order McDonalds, you moron.

"If we punish Elon for this, then that's a violation of the first amendment!"

You mean like banning tiktok, removing any and all talk of election rigging, then putting it back up the next day? Or maybe like deleting any criticisms of you and your nazi salutes under your recent tweets despite it blowing up everywhere else? Or does that not count because its something you agree with? Yeah. You've been cucked harder than Sneako and you don't even realize it. Elon and his government buddies are leaving your free speech rights looking like this

Aaaaanyway

I find it well and truly laughable that so many people like Elon will say all this insane shit and do all these fucking heinous things and people will defend them. Like how that gun woman who shit herself says stuff like "I'm not homophobic, I just think gay people are disgusting and that they should die" or that comedian nobody finds funny anymore spends hours whining about trans people but says he's not transphobic.

Lets all be on the same page for once and have the balls to say what we actually think. Elon got so close, but being a spineless edgelord who doesn't have the balls to just say what he thinks out loud is quite the weakness.

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Apparently @crimsonender critiquing and instantly improving Morch's uninspired chibi comics has put Lorch on the defensive.

Mikaila Orchard is at an early intermediate level when it comes to cartooning. Like something a teenager into anime would be drawing in high school art class. There's nothing wrong with learning how to draw later in life but seemingly Morch doesn't seek to improve. She seems to vaguely understand the surface level of style and construction but not how to actually implement these things. Morch desperately needs to go back to the fundamentals of drawing.

Morch on the left, Crim's improvement on the right.

Crim is a more advanced artist than her and I'm sure Crim wouldn't be insulted if I said I'm a yet even more advanced artist.

I bring this up because it sure is funny that Lily is complaining about basic art critiques...

When Lily is still going on about the one time she sent her racist friend @sneaky-taffer to try and "critique" my art who discovered I drew a hand backwards by accident in a single comic panel. Which is a mistake I used to make more often cause I'm an autist and sometimes have trouble with left and right.

...And then I... fixed it. Cause it was a legit mistake.

The rest of Taffer's "critiques" either were going after art that is over 5 years old or surrounded her not understanding stylization at all.

And then Taffer started sending messages from throwaways calling a friend of @britts-galaxy-brain's a "n-word lover" so you know there's that. She still hangs out in Lily's Discord by the way.

It's absolutely hysterical Lily thought sending her mediocre artist friend after me would hurt me when I routinely am critiqued by and critique other artists and none of us take it personally because we're all trying to help each other advance in our craft. But the second someone more experienced at art points out the ways your wife could improve hers? NO! It's perfect the way it is! They're just jealous!

IT'S HER STTTTYYYLLLLEEE-

Also the fact Lily is saying I wouldn't be reacting to her if I was good at art? Uh... I can do both. I do both every time I react to you in fact. People pay me to do art for them, Lily, I'm a professional. And then other people pay me to make fun of your dogshit opinions. 😂

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 4.2)

pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader

word count: 12k (oh hey look this one is actually shorter than the last)

summary: that second year of high school has a clear division within your mind—before summer and after. this is the after.

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, bisexual!reader, bisexual!suguru, continuing the existential crisis of realizing a bunch of old dudes poorly control the future of your teenage life, hidden inventory angst, mayhaps some poor coping mechanisms, maybe some codependency

beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again, @honeydew-cheesecake

author note: HIDDEN INVENTORY TIME! also, putting on full blast a couple of common things with autism—strong sense of justice and a love of routines! the next year will most likely be split up again because i have so many plans and most of them aren't good! we do be talking about JJK here. please like, reblog, and comment! it makes my heart flutter!

chapter links: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR [PART I], AO3

[YEAR TWO.]

[PART II]

At the bottom of the mountain path that leads up to campus, you’re seated on a bench. You were here alone as you waited on the car to pick you up, but Satoru and Suguru showed up. They detail the specifics of the incredibly important mission personally assigned to them by Lord Tengen. The more they reveal to you about this, the more anxious you become, the bigger the cloud of dread over your head grows. Your nervousness is made apparently by the way you nervously spin your cell phone between your fingers.

There’s so much about this that you hate. It’s too big. It truly is the weight of the world on their shoulders—the jujutsu world. It isn’t right that they’re being entrusted with something that could change the course of every sorcerer’s life. Shouldn’t that kind of pressure be left to a more experienced sorcerer? This is the work of adults.

Another thing that’s been bothering you…

“Erase?”

Satoru and Suguru are standing in front of you, most likely too nervous to sit still. You’re glad that they’re not blinded by their ego and seem genuinely troubled. Satoru is nervous, though he’d never admit to such a thing. He rocks on his feet from side to side. Coins jingle as he tosses them up in the air and catches them.

Suguru has his arms crossed over his chest, frowning. “Yes,” he confirms quietly. “When the Star Plasma Vessel fully assimilates with Lord Tengen, there will be nothing left of her.”

“That…” You duck your head to hide the sadness that you know is written all over your face. It doesn’t matter how you feel. You are a sorcerer, and this is no time to be soft. At the cost of one life, Lord Tengen will continue to live, sound of mind, and all the barriers that keep sorcerers safe will remain intact. “That seems cruel,” you blurt.

“So…what do you want us to do?” Satoru suddenly asks.

Your head snaps up, attention back on them, blinking in shock. “Huh?”

Instead of Satoru, it’s Suguru that repeats, “What do you want us to do? That’s why we came to you.”

Your brain stutters over their words, unable to process the things they’re saying to you. You sit there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “What…what does that even mean?” You press your thumb to the center of your forehead. Stop when you realize you’re copying Suguru. “Why do you want to know my opinion? What does it matter? What I’ve got to say means nothing.”

“What a silly thing to say, Squid,” Suguru scolds. “Your opinion means everything.”

With a little more thought, a little more looking between them and studying them, you finally understand where this is all coming from and where it’s all going. There’s an air about them, more to their nervousness than just stress over the weight on their shoulders. “You want to do something really stupid,” you sigh, “and you want me to give my blessing which also makes me an accomplice.”

“Accomplice is such a dirty word.” Satoru pouts. “Is it illegal to get some advice from our best friend?”

If it was Shoko here, she’d already be walking away. Unfortunately, you care about these assholes. “What stupid thing are you planning to do?”

“Nothing yet,” Satoru answers vaguely.

You ignore him in favor of Suguru. If you need to pout, you will, and he’ll cave because you hardly ever bring it out. “Satoru is right, technically. The decision won’t be up to us. Satoru just asked a logical question—what if the Star Plasma Vessel doesn’t go through with the assimilation?”

“You know what would happen,” you point out flatly.

Satoru pipes up with, “We don’t know that for sure!” You stare at him, deadpan. He gets all huffy because you didn’t just simply accept that. “Look, the world always has a way of balancing itself out. If this person doesn’t want to assimilate with Tengen, then someone else will eventually come along that does want to. Tengen will be fine.”

“Let’s say this girl doesn’t want to go through with the assimilation, what will you do then? Are you going to protect her for the rest of her life? They’ll send every sorcerer after her. You might even have to fight Lord Tengen himself. They’ll label you as curse users—”

“Will they?” The ego is back in play because Satoru declares, “We’re the strongest.”

Suguru tries to soften the severity of this stupid plan by explaining, “We’re too valuable as sorcerers. We’d be severely punished, maybe, but I doubt it. The girl has a caretaker with her, so we can cover them while they make themselves disappear.”

You throw up your arms in frustration. “Why did you even ask me, then? You’ve clearly made up your minds!”

“Yeah, okay, you’re right,” Satoru admits while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Believe it or not, we’ve actually thought about this more than you think we have,” Suguru tells you. “Everything you said is true. We know there’s a possibility that they do actually banish us and declare us as curse users. There’s a chance that we won’t come back—”

“But we don’t want to lose you!” Satoru interrupts. He’s a little too enthusiastic about this prospect because he goes on to excitedly ask, “If we leave, will you run away with us?”

The answer is out of your mouth before you can even give it a second thought. “You know I will.”

There’s a little part of your brain that reasons you should’ve taken more time to think about this, but the bigger part of your brain knows that the answer wouldn’t change. Somehow, that was the easiest yet most difficult answer in the world. No matter which option you chose, there would be a huge shift in your life, so it boils down to what would be easier to accept. If you were to stay behind like a good sorcerer, you would have to find a way to live normally without two of the most important people in your life and that…

The thought of not having Suguru or Satoru in your life is so terrifying that it makes you physically ill.

You’ve started to spiral. It’s not until a hand comes in view and yanks on the string of your hooded sweatshirt that you’re pulled out of your darkening thoughts. When you tilt your head up, Satoru is towering above you, smiling with such a genuineness that it makes your heart hurt.

“Don’t worry. It’ll all work out,” Satoru tries to assure you.

Your voice is weak, shaky. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

It’s either to make you feel better or lighten your mood, but Satoru holds out a crooked pinky. You lock it with your own. Then, to be cheeky, he extends his other pinky to Suguru. “A pinky promise? That’s childish, even for you, Satoru.” But Suguru takes it. And maybe you’re taking this a little too seriously, but you also offer your other hand to Suguru. His expression softens before he’s taking it.

In the end, the three of you are making a promise to each other.

“See?” Satoru grins. “It’s a super promise.”

“Okay,” you accept quietly. “Be safe, then. I’ll see you in a few days.”

***

Gojo Satoru is…

…was a fucking liar.

***

Just as you’ve coaxed the cursed spirit into exorcising itself, Kusakabe’s cell phone rings. He’s been off to the side, insistent to see your cursed technique for himself. Remembering that Sensei said Kusakabe could potentially be the person to vouch for you to become Grade 1, you bowed and did as he asked.

Anyway, the call.

As you approach him, you see him rush through many emotions at once—panic, anger, relief, and resignation. When his gaze darts over to you, he looks at you with a sympathy that makes your stomach start twisting into knots. On instinct, you pull your phone out to check for any texts, but there’s been nothing since Suguru said that he was on a plane back to Tokyo with the Star Plasma Vessel.

Kusakabe calls out your name, gesturing for you to pick up the pace. When you stand across from him, you shift nervously, clutching tightly at your sketchbook. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry,” Kusakabe starts with a soft apology. He takes a step toward you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “There’s been an incident at the school…” You wait on the news with bated breath. It’s bad. It has to be bad, your brain reasons, because you’ve learned Kusakabe is a naturally reserved person. He doesn’t seem like the type to show sympathy so easily unless it’s really, really bad.

“Gojo Satoru is dead.”

The sketchbook lands in the puddle at your feet as you drop everything and run.

You never leave Suguru’s side.

Apparently, he was found outside the Tombs of the Star Corridor—the place Lord Tengen lives. The wounds went deep, needed to be stitched. The medical staff at the infirmary said it was a shock that he hadn’t bled out.

When Shoko returns from Kyoto and clears the medical staff out, she curses their shoddy stitch work. That irritation is turned on you because you refuse to let go of his hand and she snaps at you, but you won’t budge. She harshly tells you to make yourself useful, so you help her remove the top half of his gown. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, and you have to quickly look away when the red, jagged slices across his chest are revealed to you both.

“That’s going to scar,” Shoko mumbles as she glides her hands over his chest. You’re so close that you’re in her crossfire and the aches and exhaustion from keeping vigil fade away. “Where is…” Her hands, glowing white with her technique, clench. “Did they say where they put him?”

It takes you a few minutes of swallowing down grief before you answer, “They said his body is missing.”

“Yeah,” she agrees hoarsely. “Yeah, that makes sense. That idiot always bragged about the bounties on his head.”

“Or…or maybe…maybe he’s…”

Shoko knows what you’re going to say before you even say it. “I walked past where it happened,” she explains lowly. “Duck, I’m sorry, but there’s no way he came out of that alive.” She powers down her technique. You assume there wasn’t that much damage and he’s been unconscious so long because of some painkillers the medical staff gave him. “They found the Star Plasma Vessel’s caretaker. I’m going to examine her body. See if there are any clues that can lead us to whoever has his body.”

You know you’re in denial. Logically, if he was alive, he would be here, in the infirmary. But…you can’t accept it. You just can’t. “I’m going to find him,” you swear.

“What are you going to do against someone that killed Gojo Satoru?”

You remember the finger of Ryomen Sukuna. The cursed energy that touched you. “I’ll make him tear his own heart out,” you say furiously.

“You’ll give yourself an aneurysm, if you could do it at all.” Shoko puts her hand on the top of your head. “Don’t make us lose another friend today.” You cover your mouth to muffle a sob. She reels you in, so your face is squished against her chest. “There was nothing we could do. We have to accept that.” She bends over and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “This is our life now. It’s what we chose when we became sorcerers.”

But why does it have to be like this?

It doesn’t take much longer before Suguru is waking up.

You have to help him when he tries to sit up and sways too much to the side. The drugs are still lingering in his system, so you nervously watch as he blinks slowly and tries to process. You don’t want to overwhelm him, but you also want to comfort him, so you compromise by reaching out to take his hand and squeeze tight. That simple gesture holds his attention. There’s something about it…or maybe he’s remembering everything that happened before…

Suguru’s expression doesn’t change, but tears begin to trickle down his cheeks.

You practically drag him forward by the front of his hospital gown, desperate to get your arms around him. “I’m here,” you promise as your own tears begin to fall again. “Suguru, I’m here.” His arms lock around your waist. His quiet, hitching breaths are in your ear, and his shoulders are subtly shaking under your arms.

“I failed, Squid,” he chokes out.

It never should’ve been put on you, you want to say but what point is there in that anymore? It doesn’t change the fact that it happened and Suguru was the only one left behind. We can’t save everyone. Empty words. Strength has cushioned you all from the realities of sorcery. Suguru has been told that he’s the strongest practically since you two came to Tokyo. He’s not supposed to lose.

Satoru wasn’t supposed to die.

“I’m here,” you repeat because it’s the only thing that you can think to say.

Now that he’s completely healed and the painkillers have worn off, there’s no more reason to keep Suguru in the infirmary. And when no one is around, he admits that he wants to be left alone in his room. You can tell yourself that you’re terrified to leave him by himself, but, deep down, you know it’s that you’re scared he’ll disappear if you don’t stay with him. This is all somehow so surreal yet so viscerally true. Simultaneously dream-like and so real. Like a child, you want to cling to him. Have you not lost enough already?

The two of you walk out of the infirmary, hand-in-hand. At the sight of Sensei waiting, you puff up like a street cat. You sidestep and put yourself in front of Suguru, flashing your metaphorical teeth and hissing. “Get out of the way.”

Suguru and Sensei both sigh your name. You don’t back down. Just square your chin. “The campus is still covered in fly heads.”

“Go exorcise them, then. You can make more cursed corpses.”

“I’m not here to ask Suguru to handle it,” Sensei gently corrects your assumption. “I agree with you. Suguru should rest.”

You relax a little. “Oh.”

“It would be easier if you can exorcise them all at once.” Sensei frowns. “Or make them disperse, at least. They can exit the barrier. If they make it off the mountain, into the city, they won’t cause too many problems for non-sorcerers.”

You angle your body toward Suguru, glancing up at him with furrowed brows. “Will you wait for me?”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked,” he whispers.

It’s not what you wanted to hear, but you can’t push him. You wordlessly nod, squeeze his hand, and then he’s walking away, headed toward the dorms. You watch him until he’s completely out of sight, immediately twitchy and nervous when you can’t see him anymore. Desperate to be beside him again, your cursed energy flares up.

“Not here,” Sensei says when he feels you gearing up. “You won’t reach them from here. They’re mostly centralized in one area.” He takes a deep breath. “You need to prepare yourself. They haven’t cleaned up yet.”

Cleaned…?

Oh.

It’s where Satoru was…

For a moment, you doubt that you can ever prepare yourself for something like this. You’re no stranger to gore, though, you remind yourself. You’re a sorcerer. You’ve seen the result of a curse’s rampage. But…those people weren’t your best friend, as cold as it is to think.

The only thing that pushes you forward is realizing that if it isn’t you, it’ll be Suguru.

There’s no way he came out of that alive, Shoko had told you.

You understand now, what she meant.

There’s a small crater that hints to the force that he was thrown down with. Hit with. You don’t know. No, it must’ve been some weapon because…the blood. The blood. There’s so much. It’s splattered everywhere across the concrete. The man that killed Satoru hated him. Loathed him. This wasn’t a clean and professional kill like with the Star Plasma Vessel and her caretaker who were taken down with neat shots to the head.

The monster that did this didn’t even hesitate when he confronted children. Because that’s what you all are, in the end. Children with too much power at your fingertips being guided by old men too scared to get their own hands dirty and all too happy to let the new generations die on their behalf.

And this is already so horrifying as is, but the assassin had to defile these corpses, too.

He wouldn’t even let Satoru have a proper burial.

I just want to find him.

You hunch in on yourself, fists curling, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. The shattered pieces of your heart scream that one demand—I want to find him, I want to find him, I just want to fucking find him and bring him home. You know it will never be. This world is not kind. But, nonetheless, someone answers your call. Multiple someone’s, actually.

Around you, the fly heads have frozen in place. They float listlessly, even their buzzing quieted, waiting with anticipation for a command that you didn’t recognize you were preparing to make. The command that you should make, the one for them to exorcise themselves, is on the top of your tongue. What use can the fly heads be? From what you were told, the attacker left no residuals behind. The residuals left behind by Satoru and Suguru would be too faint…

…they would be too faint for a sorcerer to track. A cursed spirit is different. Their senses are different. They’re sharper and more attuned to cursed energy because it is both their life force given by non-sorcerers and a threat when wielded by sorcerers. Weaker spirits are constantly on the hunt for more cursed energy to gain power.

You could command them to search for Satoru’s residuals, but your influence over them will wane with distance until they’ve forgotten the order completely.

Unless…

Unless you can influence a spirit that you know is bound to another.

Die, you demand of the fly heads.

Slowly, they all start to expand around you until they explode with a loud pop. You don’t stick around any longer to make sure they’re all gone. Sensei can take care of that. Just like he can handle the few fly heads that have spread around campus. You’re too busy planning now.

For the rest of the afternoon and the whole night through, Suguru doesn’t speak, and you don’t make him. He really only moves when you do because when you crawled into bed with him, he’d manhandled you until he could curl around you and place his head above the beat of your heart. You don’t ask him about it. You understand the reason that he clings to you. It’s why you can’t stop running your fingers through his hair, can’t stop touching him. You don’t want him to slip away.

Around three in the morning, Shoko texts you. She’s done with her autopsy. Eavesdropping, too. There are no clues. She’s overheard Sensei on his cell phone with higher-ups and they have no idea where to start because so many people have put bounties on his head over the years. They’re also scrambling to figure out how to break the news to Lord Tengen that there will be no merger. You tell her that she’s done enough and to try and get some sleep.  

After you snap your phone shut and drop it on the bed, Suguru immediately picks it up. Your fingers itch to stop him from reading the texts, but that’s not your place. From your position above him, you watch his eyes carefully scan over the text, face unmoving.

The room is bathed in darkness once again when he snaps it shut. You think that’s the end of that, but he whispers, “I can’t believe it.”

“I can’t, either,” you confess as quietly. Even seeing all that blood…this is being in denial. Is that what’s going on? You’ve never had a loss like this ever before. You don’t know what to do with yourself. No. That’s a lie. You know what you want to do. “It’s not fair. That they took him, I mean.”

“I’m going to look for him,” Suguru announces. “I…just wanted this one last night with you.”

You tug at his hair meanly. “I’m going with you.”

“No,” Suguru replies with an air of finality.

“Bullshit,” you snap. You’re not letting this go. “No, you’re not leaving me here like some—”

Suguru suddenly rolls over on top of you, knocking the breath out of you. He lifts up on his hands and knees, shifting up so that his face is hovering directly over yours. With only the glow of the moon, it’s hard to make out the fine details of his face, but you can see the frown, the hard set of his jaw. He snatches your wrists, keeping them pinned up by your head, immobilizing you completely and giving you no option but to look at him.

“He has no cursed energy in exchange for a Heavenly Pact. Do you understand what that means?” Suguru asks harshly. “What are you going to do against that? You’re—” weak. You squeeze your eyes shut, hurt lancing through you. He tries to soften the reality with, “You’re not suited against that type of fighting style. You’re better for support.”

“Let me support you, then!” You dig your nails into whatever skin of his you can touch. “I know I’m weak, but…” Your bottom lip wobbles. Definitely not helping your case. “You couldn’t beat him, either. You…you said that you were split up, so…maybe two is better than one…”

“I’m not losing you. I can’t lose you, Squid. Can’t you understand that?”

“But you want to make me grieve you, too?” You scramble for anything that can make him change his mind. “I doubt we’re going to run into danger, anyway. It’s been so long already that…that he’s probably collected the bounty on both heads.” You lean up to knock your forehead against his. “Please, Suguru.”

“No.”

“You promised! You promised that it’d be me and you!”

As your vision blurs, you can make out Suguru’s expression softening. “Don’t cry, Squid,” he begs. One of his big hands let go of your wrist, cupping your cheek. “Why do you have to make this so much harder on me, huh?” He flops down next to you, carefully guiding you to bury your face in the crook of his neck where you continue to cry. “Okay. Okay, I’ll bring you. At the first sign of danger, you have to run.”

You won’t, but you nod and lie, “Okay.”

Little do you know, you’re not the only one who’s lying.

With the sunlight comes the truth of the matter. You wake up alone, the bed empty, and with a note on the nightstand beside both your cell phone and Suguru’s. I’m sorry, the note reads in his neat handwriting. I’ll be safe, but I’m not risking you. At the very end of the note, there’s a line of text, but you can’t tell what he wrote because it’s so scratched out. The page is nearly ripped on that little section.

You, who planned to lie yourself, have no room to feel so betrayed. Anger, though, you think you’re allowed. Grief crashes over you all over again, too. You chose this life, you know, but shouldn’t children be protected a little longer? It never should’ve come to this. Ten minutes is all you can allow yourself because you don’t know how long Suguru has been gone and you need to find him.

Before you rush out the door, you shoot Shoko a text for when she wakes up, letting her know your plan. You also tell her that if he comes back before you then she needs to punch him in the nose on your behalf.

Late in the afternoon, as the sun is setting, there’s a breakthrough.

By this point, you’re jittery and exhausted. You’ve swallowed down so much coffee to keep yourself going that it’s probably in your veins now, but you’re at the point of exhaustion that it’s just not doing anything anymore. Not only have you been walking around the city on foot, but you’ve been keeping your technique running as you have cursed spirits try to lead you to Satoru’s residuals. With as much cursed energy as he had, it should still be radiating off his body enough for a spirit to pick up. That’s what you’d thought, anyway.

Until every spirit that you pull under your influence just…stops. It’s like there’s some invisible barrier that they simply won’t cross. You step past that point, and they’re compelled to follow you, yes, but they struggle against you. Some of the stronger ones outright free themselves and go running.

Something or someone is scaring them.

The problem is that you don’t know how wide the perimeter is of this barrier, how close or far away that Satoru is. But when a pack of vaguely centipede-shaped curses rush past you, out of the invisible area, you know your solution. Just like in movies where animals are the first to know of a disaster and try to outrun it, curses are acting the same. You will run toward where they are running away. At some point, you’ll have to find epicenter.

As you’re still running, further ahead of you, in the distance, there is an explosion—a bright flash of red light, a boom so loud that it vibrates in your chest, and a shake of the earth that makes you stumble. The non-sorcerers around you do the same, some of them even tripping, but they’re not turning in the direction of the flash. No, between all the chatter, you make out people questioning if it was an earthquake or a terrorist attack.

Non-sorcerers can’t see cursed techniques.

And then there was that red light…

Red.

There is something rising up inside you, something dangerous. Hope. All the blood that stained the concrete, the horror that Suguru described that you know extended to Satoru even if Suguru didn’t witness it himself…that all flies out of your head. This is the only thing that makes sense, you reason. There’s only one logical conclusion for why cursed spirits would be running away, refusing to pass that point. A dead boy’s residuals wouldn’t scare them like that.

He’s alive, you think. What else could it be? Nothing, your desperate heart reasons. Then, it’s on repeat. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive—

Not even five minutes pass before, in the middle of your sprinting, there’s yet another explosion. With this one comes a bright purple light and an even bigger explosion. It sends you stumbling, tripping over your feet, and you manage to catch yourself on your hands and knees, but they don’t come out unscathed. They’re busted open, but you ignore that pain. Adrenaline has you up and back to running.

Looming tall, getting closer and closer, is a temple. Gold and white marble. An eyesore that makes your retinas burn. Is this…the headquarters of the Star Religious Group that Suguru had told you about? One of the two organizations that was targeting them on their mission? It must be. Kusakabe said that the other group, Q, was defunct. Satoru and Suguru even sent pictures posing with the leaders that they beat.

The path that leads to the entrance is lined with tall pillars on either side. The further down the path you run, the evidence of a fight becomes more and more abundant. Some of the pillars are totally crushed, others chopped in half, rubble everywhere, and practically stinking of Satoru’s cursed energy.

Why…why does it feel so different? Are you…you’re not imagining that, are you? For someone that should be on the verge of death, it’s so strong. Stronger than it’s ever been before. The weight of it is almost oppressive. Familiar, but…sharper. You’ve unthinkingly slowed to a stop. Too stuck in thought to move, maybe, or…too scared. It’s as if the connection with the cursed spirits is lingering and their terror is bleeding over to you. Weak and feeble prey against a predator so unimaginable.

This can’t be your Satoru, can it?

“Sketch.”

And the last year and a half of memories comes crashing down on your head when you hear the sound of his voice, suffocating the noise of your panicked hindbrain. When you raise your head, unaware that you’d ducked it down to stare at nothing, he is standing there. A few meters away from you. His blazer is torn open, white button-up underneath it stained with blood, the same as a section of hair covering his forehead. It’s a horrifying miracle…but a miracle, nonetheless.

“Sa—” your mouth snaps shut because your throat clogged with emotion. You don’t know what the fuck you’d say, so you just don’t bother with it. You shut the hell up and run. Tears are blurring your vision, you’re more out of breath than you were getting here because the sobs are bubbling up in your chest, but you don’t stop. You can’t. Not until you know that he is solid and real and alive.

It’s when you throw yourself right at him, arms locking around his neck, that the dam of emotion inside breaks. Before you know it, you’re sobbing. “Satoru!” You’re being rough with him. Clinging too tight. One of your hands is grasping tightly the hair at the nape of his neck and the other fisting the fabric of his blazer. “Satoru!”

Satoru mumbles your name, shoulders slumping under your grasp. “Oh.” His voice cracks a little. Then, he’s giving you a hug of his own, hands splayed across your back. “Oh,” he repeats, almost dazedly. “It all still feels so, so amazing, Sketch.” You try to lean back, but he smushes his cheek against yours, sighing in something you’d think is pleasure. “I want to keep feeling this way forever…with you, Sketch.”

“Satoru—”

The breath catches in your throat when you can lean back enough to catch his gaze with your own. How did you not see these eyes before? Something has changed. Infinity isn’t active, but they’re still glowing bright. Sparkling like the sun glinting off the clearest ocean waters. These eyes are beautiful, entrancing, and…almost inhuman. His world has shifted. He has stepped up on another level. He—

Satoru is kissing you.

You’d been so stunned that you didn’t pay attention to his face inching closer to yours until you feel the warmth of his breath against your mouth. It’s a soft touch of his lips against yours. You could…you should…stop this. You need to…to…check on him. But…oh. Oh, he cups your cheek, hand so big and so, so warm. His hand is at the small of your back now, a gesture that sends pleasure up your spine.

It’s a clumsy kiss, maybe. You’re not sure what to do with your mouth and your noses bump against each other. Then, he tilts his head to the side a bit and it falls into place like two puzzle pieces coming together. Your eyes flutter shut and instead of pushing him away, you’re tugging him closer by the lapels of his blazer.

Heat explodes across your body when he takes it a step further, tongue gliding across the seam of your lips. You’re not sure if he’s aware of it or not, but it’s a dirty move when he cups your cheeks with both his hands. He tries to pull you closer, like he can’t get enough of this. Of you. And that’s…that fucks with a person’s brain. You’ve been swept up in his whirlwind, so you go with it. Your mouth opens and he’s licking into your mouth. You always thought it’d feel gross, but it’s just…hot. The smacking of your lips, the small noise of pleasure he gives…

Satoru pulls himself away from you, the both of you panting harshly. “I…” He licks his lips. “I am super high right now.”

“High,” you repeat hoarsely without much thought to it. You’re dazed and he’s pinning you down with those eyes again. It takes you a good minute to comprehend what he said. When it hits, your body jerks. “High?”

Instead of doing something like elaborating, his brows furrow, and he turns to look over his shoulder at the temple. “Hey, I need to get Amanai’s body. You might wanna leave.” He faces you again, looking like he’s trying to gather his all thoughts. “I blew a hole in that Zen’in guy with Purple. And…I kind of want to slaughter all those people in there. I can see them in this big meeting room, clapping because she’s dead now. I don’t want you seeing that.”

Don’t do that, you should say.

But how can you find mercy in your heart for people who celebrate the death of a child? Who paid a man to swoop in and shatter your life? Those aren’t good people. They’re not innocent. Shouldn’t they be punished in some way?

“Be safe,” you say instead.

Satoru doesn’t kill them.

Not soon after Satoru left you had called Sensei to tell him that Satoru was alive and found the Star Plasma Vessel’s body. And almost as soon as you hang up the phone after Sensei assures you that Shoko and the cleanup crew will be there shortly, Suguru shows up.

When they walk out of the temple, Suguru comes back to meet you while Satoru goes on ahead to hand over the body to those that will make sure she’s treated with respect. Suguru doesn’t look at you when he tells you that he talked Satoru down from killing them all.

“There would be no meaning it in.”

It’s clear that Suguru is troubled, trying to justify that to himself. While you don’t really believe him…well, no. It’s more that you simply don’t care if there’s meaning.

“You’re right,” you lie as a comfort and reach out to thread your fingers through his.

***

For four days after they come home, you never see them.

Suguru is still texting you—somewhat, anyway, since he’s more focused on taking care of Satoru who hadn’t been able to sleep for three days straight. Still high on…something. You and Suguru were trying to speculate what put him in such a state since there was no point in asking a practically incoherent Satoru. He died, Suguru told you in the middle of night two. I think, he then followed up with. The Six Eyes are fully realized. All the pieces fell in place.

He’s high on the power, you think you summarize correctly.

Suguru thinks that Satoru is finally leveling out when he sleeps for twenty-four hours straight.

You’re the first person to know that he’s awake when you’re walking across campus, planning on a late night konbini run because you can’t sleep, and almost get smacked in the head by a floating wallet. You duck it, but a rock gets tangled in your hair. There’s a bunch of rocks and some empty soda bottles, looking like one of those asteroid fields that you see in space movies.

“Oops,” a familiar voice calls out. “My bad, Sketch.”

“Satoru?” You fully expect him to be there behind you, but when you turn around, there’s nothing. You look off to either side of you, too. Nothing. “Where—” wait. Did it sound like he was speaking above you? You tilt your head up and, yeah, you definitely forgot that Satoru could float even before…everything.

Satoru is cross-legged, floating there in the air. All the debris surrounds him now as if they were planets in his orbit. Your brows furrow. “Why does it feel like you’re showing off?”

“I’m not!” Satoru protests with a pout.

“It just…feels different,” you mumble while trying to figure out what exactly is giving you that idea. This isn’t totally out of the ordinary for him. He was blocking massive chunks of destroyed buildings and tearing apart houses before. “Oh. Your output is so low now.”

“Bingo!”

There was a little delay, but your brain finally catches up. “You’re awake! What are you doing out here? You should’ve gone to see Shoko as soon as you were up!”

Satoru waves the concern off. “I’m running Reverse Curse Technique now. I’m good.”

“You…what?” Logically, that makes the most sense. Despite all the blood, you hadn’t seen a mark on Satoru that day at the temple.

“Yeah! Who knew that getting stabbed in the neck is what it’d take for me to figure out Reverse Curse Technique, huh? Never let Shoko become a teacher. She can’t explain things for shit.”

Avoiding overwhelming emotions isn’t a new concept for you. You’re notorious for it. That doesn’t mean you can’t feel the emotions for Satoru, though. Stabbed in the neck—you didn’t think it was possible for your heart to crack more than it already has.

“Come down here so I can hug you,” you choke out.

Satoru blinks, looking almost baffled by your turn of emotion. Does he really not know how fucked up that is? Can he not understand why you’d be upset? How terrified he must’ve been, you think as you reach out for him when he slowly lowers back to the ground. Sure, he beat Death, but that doesn’t make the sight any less horrifying.

“You gotta stop being such a crybaby or I’m gonna have to give you a new nickname,” he muses when you get your arms around him. His arms slip around your shoulders, crushing you against his chest. “I’m okay, Sketch. Alive and kicking. Got some badass scars and, as the geezers in my clan would say, my Six Eyes are fully realized.”

Be serious about this, you want to demand of him, but who are you to do that? “Don’t make fun of me for worrying about you.”

“Suguru is already doing enough of it, y’know,” Satoru remarks softly. “Go worry about him.”

“I can worry about you both, thanks.”

“You’re cute, Sketch.”

The memory of his mouth against yours makes itself painfully known. Back of your neck prickling with heat, you try to bury your face further against his chest, not wanting him to see whatever might be on your face. In the silence between you two, your mind runs through so many questions. Does he remember? Why in the world did he do that? If it’d been Suguru there instead, would Satoru have kissed him instead? Should you even ask about it? What would you say if you did? Do you even know enough about how you feel for him to have that talk?

Satoru demands to escort you to the konbini when you tell him what has you out so late. He’s almost aggressive when he takes your hand in his and starts tugging you forward again, listing off all the snacks that he wants to buy. At the bottom of the mountain, finally out on the street, you notice that he still hasn’t let go of your hand, so you stop him. You’re fully prepared to talk about it. Okay, you’re not, but you feel like you need to talk about it.

But then, under the glow of a streetlamp, you catch the glint of that scar at the base of his throat.

You’ll bring up the kiss some other time.

***

“What?”

For once, Sensei doesn’t look you in the eye. “You heard me.”

“Did I? Because it sounds like you told me that some old man is here to force Satoru and Suguru out on solo missions—”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes out your name. “It’s just to ease them back out in the field—”

“Stop lying!” Sensei’s mouth snaps shut at the sound of your echoing shout. “I’m not dumb! These are assignments that only they can do as Special Grades. The higher-ups wouldn’t bother with wasting them on something the rest of us grunts can do, would they?”

“Please. Calm down—”

“It hasn’t even been three weeks!”

Sensei calls in backup. Looking over your shoulder, expression pinched in discomfort, he begs by way of order, “Nanami, Haibara, let’s end class early. Can you take her back to the girls’ dorm—”

There have been only a few times that you’ve ever been so furious in your life and, not-so-shockingly, they all had to do with Suguru. When you were both eight, inseparable, Suguru had finally confessed where his bruises truly came from. You learned that the lack of food wasn’t from poverty or neglect, but maliciousness. The bruises weren’t from scraps with spirits that he was trying to tame.

You’d been downright distraught. You hadn’t let him leave your house for as long as you could. Begging your parents to let him live with you, offering your plate up if there wasn’t enough food in the house for four people. When Suguru wasn’t in the room, you told them what he said, insistent on your parents calling the police for help because you knew they were supposed to help with bad people and what else were Suguru’s parents?

The first few times, your parents lied and said that they’d handle it. After a year of nothing happening, you’d gone to a teacher instead because your parents outright told you that how Suguru’s parents disciplined him wasn’t their business. Suguru was out for about a week, and you hadn’t been allowed over. When he came back to school, arm in a cast, he told you about a person visiting, and how furious it’d made his parents when that lady left.

Finally, you learned a cruel lesson—that trying to help would only punish Suguru.

Maybe that’s something you should remember right now, but…you’re blinded by that same sense of justice that you’d had as an eight-year-old girl. You have a voice here. You’ll scream until your throat bleeds. If they want sacrifices, you’ll offer yourself up in place of Suguru and Satoru. Just to let them have peace a little while longer.

“Senpai?” Haibara hesitantly touches your shoulder.

Nanami and Haibara, smartly, move out of your way when you whirl around and storm out of the classroom. You’re not sure how much time you have left, but you need to ditch your escorts, so you go back to the dorms like Sensei requested, fuming the entire time. You don’t speak a word to your juniors, scared that you’ll snap at them unnecessarily. They’re just following orders, same as every other fucking sorcerer.

As soon as you’re inside your room, you’re immediately sneaking out the window, and pinpointing Satoru and Suguru’s cursed energies. They’re at the entrance’s torii gate, getting lectured by some withered husk. Satoru, as always, looks disinterested, but Suguru…

Suguru looks tired.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

The old man slowly turns around to face you, eyes narrowed. “Who do you think you’re talking to like that?” For someone that’s hunched over and clutches to his cane with a trembling hand, he sure does have his nose stuck up pretty high in the air. “Ah, I know you.” He says your name. “Mind your tongue, girl. You’ll ruin your chances at success with this type of behavior.”

“They almost died and you’re throwing them back out in the field this soon?”

He scoffs. “Is that what this is about? I’ve spoken with Yaga. They’ve been healed.”

“Are you stupid?” If he can’t scrounge up an emotion in his black heart, you’ll appeal to logic. “Do you not understand that if you don’t give them proper rest and run them ragged then they’re more likely to make mistakes and die? Let someone else handle whatever you want them to do.”

“Who? Like you? Stop acting like a child. You may be a sorcerer, but don’t think you could be of any use other than collecting information. You’re weak.” You hate this man, but you hate that he’s right even more. Is running your mouth really the only thing that you can do? “Know your place.”  

Behind the old man, Suguru and Satoru puff up.

Something ugly is festering inside you as you watch him walk away. You’re not sure that you’ve ever felt so much hatred toward another person. How can such weak people have all this power? What more can you compare them to other than an invasive parasite—hiding themselves away as their host supports them and weakens itself until there’s nothing left and then they’re on to the next pray. That’s how they rose so high. Everyone else threw themselves on the sword until only these cowards remained. It isn’t fair that you’re forced to bow down to them.

You should worship us, you think viciously. Rage is making your body go haywire. You’re trembling all over, fists clenched so tightly that your nails are digging into your skin causing sticky, wet blood to slip through your fingers. Prostrate yourself before us, you wish you could scream at him. How much blood have they spilt with their callous and cruel demands? You can’t even begin to imagine, but you smell it. You taste it. You can’t even register that something is slipping from your nose, over the bow of your lips. Your eyes are losing focus, your ears are ringing, and you’re shocked that you can focus enough to think anymore with how agonizing this headache is.

Prostrate yourself.

A lot happens all at once. Just as someone snatches your upper arm, the higher-up goes down with a crack. An actual crack of a bone. He twists himself awkwardly as he’s going down, ending up spread eagle on the ground right in front of your feet. He turns his head to the side, forehead coated with blood from getting busted open on the concrete. He clutches at his hip, trying to move, but failing every single time.

Then, you’re gone.

Feeling like your stomach drops out under you, along with your feet, you’re warped to a completely different part of campus by Satoru’s hold on your arm. All at once, the world comes rushing back in, and you’re suddenly aware of your body. You collapse to your hands and knees, watching as drops of blood plop on the blades of grass beneath your face. Even this much, holding yourself up by your shaking arms, is hard.

Just being conscious is hard, apparently, because you wobble before you’re crashing on the ground and passing out.

“You were right to bring me to her first. Fuck. She had a brain bleed. What the fuck happened?”

Shoko’s raised voice might be what pulls you back to consciousness. Or the fact that you’re clearly healed now. The only remnant that there had been something wrong is the flaking blood on your face, sensitivity to light, and the lingering exhaustion because she can’t fully replenish cursed energy.

The lack of noise has you turning your head to the side. Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru—all in a circle—have turned to stare down at you. There are varying degrees of concern on their faces, but Shoko is the only one that’s also furious. She points an accusatory finger at you. “You’re going to tell me what you did later, Duck. Do you understand me? Right now, I have to go heal some old geezer’s broken hip.”

Ah. You’d been right, then. A bone had broken.

You broke that bone.

Because you…

In the heat of that moment, you weren’t comprehending what was going on. What you were doing. But you know now. And the implications of it terrify you. What’s even worse is that you weren’t even consciously thinking about doing it. It just happened, so what if it happens again by accident? What if one of those things thought in the heat of the moment that you’d never say out loud comes true?

You didn’t want this. Not this. You never asked for it. This is too much power for one person. How do you shoulder the weight of something like this? You can’t. You don’t have it in you. You’ll hurt someone, you know it, and it’ll be someone that you love, and when it happens—

“Squid.”

Suguru’s hands appear in your blurry line of vision. They’re meant to be a silent question, to ask if you’re okay to be touched right now. You answer by grabbing his wrists and yanking them down to your cheeks. You don’t know what possesses you to do it. Maybe it’s to pull him in closer because seeing his softening expression makes you feel less overwhelmed. They understand better than anyone, after all, that power is a burden.

It’s not a full breakdown. More a moment of overwhelming pressure and guilt. Suguru and Satoru, both now sitting down next to you in the grass, don’t say anything until you calm down. When you’re just sniffling, Suguru’s thumb that’s been stroking your cheek stills. “What happened, Squid?”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Satoru speaks up. “Your persuasion isn’t only limited to cursed spirits anymore. It’s anything with cursed energy, isn’t it?” You nod, mouth twisted with misery. “We really need to come up with a name for your technique.”

“Not the time, Satoru,” Suguru sighs. He brushes away some hair that’s plastered across your forehead. “You don’t seem as surprised by this as I think you should be.”

“Shoko put the idea in my head at the start of the term,” you mumble. “I told her about that mission with you—the one where I caught your cursed spirit and that other sorcerer’s shikigami. I could maybe understand why yours was affected because the spirits have different cursed energy than yours, but…the shikigami is a manifestation of a sorcerer’s energy. Shoko took it to its next logical step. I didn’t want to believe her.”

“It was so weird.” Satoru is tapping his bottom lip, thoughtful. “It was like your cursed energy was infecting that geezer. It was only a second, but I guess whenever you gave your command, I swear that it was like there were two of you. It was seriously trippy.”

“And then you gave yourself a brain bleed. Do you know how lucky you were that Shoko was on campus?” Suguru presses his palm against your forehead, and you look back up at him. The corners of his eyes are tight with worry. “Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I didn’t mean to do it,” you purposely deflect. Does this power scare you? Yes. Would you use it again if it meant keeping the people you love safe in both body and mind? Another yes. “I’m just…worried about you both.”

“Squid, you can’t keep us here forever. I know you’re worried, but—” he fumbles. Briefly, his gaze darkens, but that emotion quickly passes. “We’re the strongest. We can take care of ourselves.”

“It’s not about whether you can do it or not,” you whisper. “It’s about rest. You almost died. You…you lost. And…that leaves wounds that Shoko can’t heal. Why can’t you have more time? Why does it have to be you?”

“The world has to keep spinning, Sketch.”

Yes, the world is cruel like that, isn’t it?

***

The start of middle school had felt like a month-long blowout in your household.

About two weeks in, while you were curled up under the blankets with a hot water bag pressed against your pelvis, grandparents that you rarely saw had come to visit from the village over. It’d felt like such an invasion of privacy when your both your mother and grandmother presented a bowl of red rice and congratulations on becoming a woman that you’d snapped. Why celebrate such a stupid thing? You’d ranted and raved. It’s what the body does. Why make a big deal? Do you do this with boys when they get their first erection? And all hell had broken loose.

Your father had outright smacked you in the mouth for speaking so crudely and disrespectfully to his mother. After an hour or so of being banished to your room, your frazzled mother and shrewd grandmother had come to interrogate you on how you knew about such a thing—the thing being erections. You’d told them because you saw nothing wrong with the truth. You hadn’t known it then, but Suguru had started puberty a few months before you. He’d told you about the exhausting and awkward conversation his father had been forced to give him.

By the end of the weekend, you’d been ready to choke your grandmother. The way she hovered over your mother, stirring up shit by whispering in your mother’s ear. The worst offense, in your opinion, had been how they turned Suguru away at the door every single day. You couldn’t sneak out because your grandmother slept in your room at night while days were spent going over what boiled down to glorified etiquette classes. Ladies don’t talk about crude things which included basic bodily functions, ladies don’t sleep with men unless they’re married, ladies are demure yet try to make friends with their peers, ladies this, ladies that, and on and on it went.

And you’d overheard conversations at school, knew that most of your classmates hated it as much as you did when their grandparents visited, so you’d hoped the hell would end when they were gone. It hadn’t. That Monday night, your mother had declared that there would no longer be any sleepovers, and you think that may have been the first ever time you screamed yourself hoarse.

You’ve always been too close to that boy! Your father had been the one to step in, absolutely laying into you. I tolerated it because you needed to have one friend, at least, so we could pretend our daughter is normal, but this is just becoming borderline inappropriate now! You’re lucky that I don’t ban you from seeing him, period! And think of him! Don’t you think that he’s sick of spending so much time with you? He’ll never have any other friends if he’s seen spending so much time with you! Let the boy be a boy, damn it!

That’s when the doubt started, you think.

This fear has always plagued you—the idea that you need Suguru more than he needs you.

Zen’in Toji changes that.

Sometimes, when you’re too stuck in your head, you worry that you’re still acting like a child, tugging at his sleeves, annoyingly demanding his attention. Now, it almost feels like the roles have reversed. Not that you’re annoyed. No, if he tried to hide himself away, you’re pretty sure that you’d be waiting outside his door like a lost puppy begging to come home.

Really, the only difference between now and those childhood days where you two were practically joined at the hip is that Satoru is included.

Now that Satoru and Suguru are on their own, you’ve been unofficially added to Nanami and Haibara’s team. What happened to headquarters wanting you to spy on Suguru, huh? This might be a punishment. You don’t mind it, obviously, because you like to be a good mentor, but it’s not just them that you’re helping. Helping is a loose term, though. You’re almost as busy as Suguru and Satoru are, running to pacify and record spirits for the seasoned sorcerers.  

A thing that you’ve started to learn is that sorcerers are…eccentric. More often than not, they don’t try to make small talk with you which you’re happy for, but it’s still exhausting to be around all these strangers. It seems like you’re always running on empty. It feels like your art is suffering, too, because you can’t find it in yourself to practice in your spare time. You feel as if you always have to be available.

Things might be easier if you had some time alone, but you never are anymore, even when you’re on campus. Would Satoru and Suguru respect your wishes if you asked? Yes. But you never do. You always feel too guilty to ask for such a thing when they’re working so hard all the time. Thankfully, Suguru is fine to sit in silence with you and Satoru can talk and talk without you ever saying a word back.

Things are changing between the three of you—even a person like you who always has things going over her head can see that.

You’re not quite sure when it started but there is always someone in your bed. None of you talk about it, though. If they hadn’t started leaving pieces of themselves behind in your room, you’d wonder if they even knew that the other is with you when they aren’t around. In your need to have things in the correct places, you’ve assigned them spots—Suguru’s cigarettes are tucked in the corner of your nightstand, Satoru’s stash of blueberry sodas is neatly stacked inside your minifridge, Suguru’s spicy ramen is in the cabinet closest to the door and Satoru’s melon bread are next to the ramen.

People talk about walking in the shadows of The Strongest, but…for you, it feels like their shadows are swallowing you whole.

Where do they end and where do you begin?

It’s getting weird inside your head. Not that it hasn’t always been. It’s just…you sometimes feel suffocated. On bad days, you wonder if you’ve started to create a mask for them—something you’ve never felt the need to do, especially with Suguru. And yet, in spite of it all, you’re terrified to push them away, and not because of what happened to them.

Bitterly, you think about that river in your village, and how if you were thrown in it with no way out but forward that you’d let yourself drown in that familiarity rather than face the unknown that awaits on the other side of the river.

You’d scolded Suguru for picking up smoking, but maybe he and Shoko are on to something with it.

The stars have aligned just right so that you, Satoru, and Suguru are all on campus at the exact same time. It’s a bitterly cold December morning and you’re gathered in the smoking area. Sitting next to Suguru on a bench, you eye the cigarette, tempted to try, but decide better of it. You’ll settle for the smoke that curls in the air and clings to his clothes. You tilt to the side, putting your head on his shoulder, and Suguru settles his cheek on the top of your head. Satoru, across from you and munching on pocky, has been watching you two with an eerie intensity.

“You two should come home to Kyoto with me.”

“Meeting the parents already?” The question was intoned by you and Suguru, at the exact same time. You lean away, glancing up at Suguru with the same surprise mirrored on his face, and then the two of you break out in a loud fit of laughter that’s becoming depressingly rare these days.

Satoru stands there, red-faced and fuming. “Sorry for wanting to spend my birthday weekend with you, you assholes!”

After collecting yourself and catching your breath, you ask, “Are we even allowed?”

“Doesn’t matter if you are or not,” he replies with a shrug of the shoulder. “I’m head of the clan, baby. I can do whatever I want, and no one can say a damn thing about it.”

From next to you, Suguru snorts. “Why don’t you just stay here since you obviously don’t want to go, Lord Gojo.”

“Future head of the clan,” Satoru reluctantly grumbles. “I could stay here,” he goes on to defensively. “I’m just being a nice person! The last time I saw my parents was last year when I moved on campus. I’m doing them a favor before I’m eighteen and never looking back.”

“Oh? Are you giving up your position when you graduate? Otherwise, you’ll probably be seeing them to do fancy, important clan stuff,” you tease.

“Screw both of you!” If life were an anime, there would be steam blowing out of his ears right now. “I was even going to let you guys go all out when we get fitted, but now I’m choosing for you, and I’ll put you in the ugliest colors!”

You cock your head to the side. “Fitted?”

“They want traditional clothes for the birthday celebration.”

“How traditional?”

“Ofurisode for you and montsuki for us,” he answers casually.

Oh, no. No, no, no. There have been only a few times where your parents rented a kimono for you, and you hated every single second of it. Granted, you were young, but you remember how much you hated it. “No.” You shake your head. “Absolutely not. I refuse.”

Satoru’s brows furrow. “Eh? Why?”

“What do you mean why? I can’t believe you’re okay with it! You don’t like clothes clinging to you, right?”

“Actually, it’s more like I hate when my clothes get wet. Besides, if something feels like it’s rubbing against me wrong, I can shift Infinity to sit between my skin and the fabric. Anyway, my montsuki are always silk, and I like how that feels.”

Your eye twitches. “Yeah, well, not everyone has Infinity. Do you even know how many pieces there are in an ofurisode? It’s so heavy and tight and—” you visibly shudder.

“Good point.” Satoru hums and taps his chin in thought. “Best I can do is a chu-furisode, though. I don’t doubt that they’d kick you out on your ass if you showed up in anything less formal or if we tried putting you in something for the married women.”

“You’re forgetting something,” you point out wryly. “I can just not go.”

“Sketch,” Satoru whines. “It’s my birthday.”

“We can celebrate here before or after you leave.”

“Also,” Suguru finally speaks up, “that’s too much money.”

“Oh, don’t worry, my little country bumpkins. It’s all on the Gojo dime and it won’t even be a drop in the bucket.”

Deadpan and once again at the same time, you and Suguru say, “Rich boy.”

Satoru claps his hands together in front of himself, ducking his head. “Please, please, please,” he loudly begs. “Don’t leave me on my own with my shitty clan! It’ll be like a sleepover! You guys did those when you were kids, right? My one wish is that I get a turn having a sleepover with Sketch and Suguru!”

We have sleepovers every time you’re on campus, you aggressively think. But, after a moment of reflection, you realize that, actually, not all three of you have slept in the same room. On the few times that they’ve been on campus at the same time, neither of them tries to sneak into your room at night or text you to ask. You think you know what they do, though. Just as they’ve started to leave pieces of themselves in your room, you see them in each other’s. And, sure, you could put that as them hanging out, but you’ll sometimes catch whiffs of cigarette smoke on Satoru’s sheets and pillows.

You still want to tell him no. It’s a daunting thought, being in an uncomfortable kimono, surrounded by people that don’t even respect their own future clan head let alone people like you and Suguru who have no sorcery in your bloodlines. But what else is there to get the boy who has everything? And…it’s a rare chance to have them to yourself because the higher-ups are giving him leave and, if Satoru insists, his family will request the same for you and Suguru.

“Fine,” you agree with a frustrated sigh.

Suguru also gives a sigh of his own. “I’m smoking, whether I’m allowed to or not.”

“Best birthday ever!” Satoru cheers.

***

For obvious reasons, Satoru puts off going on his clan’s estate as long as possible. There are people at the estate that could measure you and Suguru, but Satoru pulls you both into a shop that’s probably so expensive that it costs to breathe. You’re glad the prices aren’t displayed. Thankfully, you don’t really have to put up with strange hands all over you yet. They simply take a tape measurer to you and then let you pick out the fabric. Like Satoru, you decide on a beautiful silk that starts out forest green before fading to a navy blue near the bottom.

Kyoto is mostly religious sits—temples, castles, shrines, and the like. It’s very beautiful. Satoru takes you both to the Fushimi Inari-taisha, a long path that’s nothing but bright red torii gates. Satoru is surprisingly quiet, so it’s a peaceful moment. After the shrine, you wonder if it was just a way to calm you down before you’re forced to face the crowds to find food. It’s…honestly not as bad as you expected because with Satoru and Suguru’s huge bodies in front of and behind you, people can’t bump into you that much.

Late in the afternoon, as the sun is setting, the three of you are in a random park. Satoru is dozing off, head in Suguru’s lap, and Suguru is reading a book. It’s good inspiration, so you draw them. Not like that’s anything unusual. You do feel a little sad, a little nostalgic when you flip through your personal sketchbook and see the gradual loss of…youth, you guess. Even Shoko isn’t unaffected. You wonder how you look to everyone else.

At twilight, Satoru decides he can’t stall anymore, and he finally picks up the phone that he’s been ignoring all day.

jjk

“Your parents aren’t what I expected,” Suguru comments when the three of you shuffle into his obscenely large bedroom.

Meanwhile, your question is, “Is this not your room?” Sure, Satoru brought a lot of stuff when he moved on campus, but this room is…weirdly empty. Not a hint of his love for Digimon, no posters, and the bedsheets look like they belong to an older person rather than a teenager.

“Right? My parents are super weak. They were low on the Gojo ladder, but then they had yours truly, and they’re practically worshipped now. I’ve never lived with them much, though. They handed me over to tutors and people who could teach me about sorcery,” Satoru explains. “I was in another section of the compound, but when I come to Kyoto, I’m a good son and stay with my parents.”

Suguru voices what you’re both thinking. “Satoru, that’s…really sad. You know that, right?”

“Eh.” Satoru shrugs off the concern. “It’s probably how every other rich kid is treated. Non-sorcerers get boarding schools, and I got training and missions.”

“Missions?”

“Yeah?” Satoru cocks his head to the side, genuinely confused by your disbelief. “What? I’m Gojo Satoru, wielder of the Six Eyes. You think I was sitting around on my ass until high school?”

Suguru is pressing a thumb against the center of his forehead. “I’m too tired to tell you how fucked up that is, Satoru. We’ll save it for another day.”

“Agreed,” you say with a nod. “And don’t expect me to be polite to any of your family.”

“I don’t get you guys, but okay. Let’s go to bed.”

It takes a bit of maneuvering. There’s some giggling when, as you three try to get settled in Satoru’s massive bed, you all bump into some ticklish spots. You argue even more about the positioning. Finally, you decide that the birthday boy is stuck in the middle. Besides, he’s always ice cold, so he won’t get too hot, anyway.

Satoru has an arm thrown around your shoulders and Suguru’s. Suguru’s cheek is up in the crook of Satoru’s neck while yours is above his heart. It’s a nice sensation, listening to the frantic beat of Satoru’s heart slow as the minutes pass by. Suguru is half-asleep when he reaches out to lace his fingers through yours, placing them on Satoru’s stomach. They’re both asleep before you, which isn’t a surprise. They must be exhausted, constantly coming and going on missions.

I wish I was stronger.

Strong enough to shoulder these burdens with them, strong enough to face down the old men that treat Satoru and Suguru like weapons to be used and feared, strong enough to stop childishly clinging to everyone else, strong enough to protect these so very precious moments, strong enough…

I’m weak.

And that’s a bitter truth but a still a truth regardless.

[orbital-obvious]

The Batman (2022) thoughts [pt 2/?] FRIENDS AND FAMILY (w Spoilers)

Kinda squeezing opinion about Batman Allies (mainly Selina) and Bruce's family (which includes his parents and Alfred) into one post but we'll live.

Martha Wayne being a woman with mental health issues that had to have gone to several mental facilities felt like a revelation. I am kinda sad I didn't see more discussions about it in the tags. ESPECIALLY since a lot of her anguish stemmed from Trauma and being so close to the public eye. This is intensifies tenfold if if you relate it to theories like "Bruce is Autistic". Because, HELLO, Martha's family probably viewed her as "wrong" if she exhibited neurodivergent behavior and I keep thinking about possible parllels between her and her son and Thomas accepting her as she is and ahhhhhhh. MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

Selina Kyle felt much more down to earth in this, which I was thankful for. She felt very... not REALISTIC, rather un-fantastical. She is not Catwoman YET, and is weirded out by costumed weirdo Batman and that made their interactions a lot more potent. The movie also did away with some Catwoman-isms I don't like, what my friend reffered to as "too sexy to be alive".

Actually, I felt as if the movie used wigs to have a visual representation of Selina going into a "role" - being sexy, looking innocent, etc etc, while her no-wig look came into play when she was more her real self - which is part of the movie theme of identity.

That is not to say that Selina wasn't MESMERIZING, btw. They gave her this sparkly/flakey eyeshadow that reflected the light so prettily and made her shine.

Selina red wig look was the best Selina wig look. Gosh, Kravitz made that plastic wig WORK. ALSO NARRATIVE IMPORTANCE. The movie heavily associates black-red with the Batman, so Selina wearing a red wig and black outfit is singling that she is working with the Batman.

no "Hello boys!" from Selina. Thank fuck. Also I kind of enjoyed a version of this character that is not overtly flirtatious. Her romantic moments felt kind of sweet, actually. (I'm going to think about Bruce going "Selina?" when the eyecam gets turned on forever)

So..... Selina and Anika (her "friend" that also worked in the club) were dating, right?

I greatly enjoyed this version of Alfred. It was a diversion from the usual interpretation but I think still managed to capture the character's essence. Alfred is Bruce's father (Bruce, keep your teenage-angst-at-30 for yourself, please) - and I enjoyed his prodding trying to get Bruce Wayne to function like a person in society (level: impossible)

There is more staff than just Alfred - Dory the housekeeper, who also seems like a person who was with the family before the Waynes murder. I don't know why, but I really liked this addition. Maybe becasue it allowed my next point, which is-

It's never was outright said, but I got the feeling like Alfred was the Waynes bodyguard, not butler. Which makes a lot more sense in this more "grounded" universe. It also explains why Alfred was so torn about their death and gives better reasoning as to why he felt it was his duty to protect young Bruce. It's not only Bruce the death is eating up, but also Alfred, and perhaps even more so (as Alfred said, Bruce was just a kid). HOWEVER, I think Alfred dealing with those intense emotions and still not spiraling to WHATEVER Bruce had going on makes him a good foil to Bruce and a better mentor/father figure.

I was legit scared they were gonna kill Alfred. Not only cause I LIKE Alfred, but because I could not even begin to fathom the abyss Bruce would have spiraled into.

Martha was an Arkham? Bruce have a connection to ARKHAM? that's a FAMILY? are they in charge of Arkham Asylum? Are any of them alive? I get that the point here was to be like "Bruce Wayne is the prince of Gotham" (as per Falcone- using Prince cause he's the king) but. Like. HUH?

Thomas Wayne was an idiot for consulting Falcone, and that is the best case senario of that predicament. Especially in a city like Gotham. But that's just the thing - Thomas panicked in how this could have affected Martha / Bruce (I fully believe Alfred when he said it wasn't about the campaign) and that made him act out stupid. It's humanizing.

While I think the death of the reporter was way beyond a reasonable reaction, what business does ANYONE have with Martha's mental health? Rhetorical question, of course. Falcone hinted it was a hit piece but tbh I think it was more like a scandalous "tea" and "drama" about a public figure. There is so much to say about the personal life of public personas, prejudice regarding mental health and especially mental health WITHIN the Batman stories. The movie really wasn't about that, but, you know, many thoughts.

[roverzquest]

Dream Situation Opinion

This feels like a relationship I had last year. I feel like I at least a little bit understand how Tommy feels, or at least felt at one point.

My partner acted a lot like Dream. They had a lot of issues that were difficult to deal with because nobody feels wrong in a real life situation. There are statements said by the person that are wrong but there's also the fact that humans have biases and having been treated well before a situation like this is something that can cloud your judgement.

The way Dream talks, unintentionally or not, is manipulative. My partner made me so afraid of upsetting them that I was utterly terrified of sending even one message. They didn't realize they did that. During the detective dream stream I was reading the messages and was just horrified at how similar they felt to my ex partners messages. Dream is a step up from my partner, however, and the way he speaks just feels downright intentionally manipulative.

The first thing he goes over in the stream- When he doesnt like that Tommy made so many mean jokes towards him- Thats fine! Being called a pedophile is something that you can reasonably be upset over- However the way he went about telling Tommy is just... horrible. He threatens their friendship, says "Ive done so much for you!" and its just heartbreaking... And Tommy was just a teenager! And Dream was an adult! Thats fucking horrible!

About the meme Dream posted on Twitter- He shouldnt use the r slur. He uses it to insult another group of people in a way that is definitely not a joke between friends. Thats not reclaiming, thats using the original meaning. He might be autistic, who knows, but even if thats true you can go saying slurs aggressively at people. Im lgbtq+, so I can say faggot, but I dont go to random people on the street who likes gay music or something and say "Grow up faggot". Its not moral, but honestly what did we expect from this man. Some people are treating it like its the worst thing ever, and while I dont blame you, it would do everyone some good to get educated on the subject.

Overall, Tommy has got one hell of a backbone for sticking to his opinion of being correct! Good for him! I couldnt do that with my partner. I was constantly doubting myself. A common thought was "Surely I cant be the one who did everything wrong..." but when looking at what i thought were the facts, I felt like i was the only wrong person. Its easy to be manipulated, and Tommy is doing a great job. Im proud of him.

Tommy had some small things that he did wrong- Like if what Dream is saying is correct, he kept making pedo jokes when Dream asked him to stop, but he was also like, 16? He was growing up and trying to figure out what was right. Ive been 16 before and I wasnt mature enough to handle that much fame, despite being much more mature than my peers. Obviously nobodys perfect, but Dream is farther from perfect than anyone else in this situation.

My opinion is subjective and I encourage calm, mature discussion. Im not afraid to block you if you are needlessly aggressive. Disagreeing with me doesn't result in automatic block, just be nice about it.

[davenportia]

lab rats, if it was not produced by disney, or at least not disney xd (maybe netflix or disney+) would have been a much better show. bryan and chris did a great job with what they had but unfortunately were working for disney. if you’re following my insta, you heard me talking about this on my story yesterday, but i’m going to try to type it all out here. trigger warning, trauma, abuse, and deaths. i will also do another warning right before the topic is brought up. here we go

time: i am aware that disney shows whether channel or xd only have a certain amount of time for table reads, filming, editing, and then airing. for a show especially like liv and maddie, they REALLY didn’t have time as dove had to film everything twice. disney episodes, unless a special episode, are usually between 24-30 minutes. but it’s so annoying how everything gets solved so fast. the laugh tracks (i am very used to them but i am aware that people find them annoying). it’s not very realistic that way. now to swiftly move to the next topic, scripts and reality

scripts and reality: even a show like fuller house on netflix, which also only had 24-30 minute episodes, had a more realities script. disney said “tweeter, twits, facegab, e-phone, madame googoo, vuuugle” because they’re cheap, fuller house would say “new kids on the block, facebook, nintendo, hamilton, pippin” ACTUALLY NAMES OF things. even outside of that, they talked like normal people would. in a disney show, something would go wrong, they would cut to commercial break, then come back and say “i can’t believe you ____! how are we going to fix this?!” NO ONE talks like that except for disney characters. whyyyy

characters:

adam; he was the token dumb character and honestly, not a nice person. i know that disney always has sassy characters but adam was just rude and didn’t have a filter. there should have been more to his character. maybe he would have had some sort of special interest like dez from austin and ally. dez was dumb but had his sweet moments and was a really good filmmaker and director. all adam seems to do is make fun of others and use his super strength. he should have been more useful outside of his bionics. had some sort of personality other than being dumb.

bree, trigger warning - drinking? ; bree, desperately wanting to be a normal teenager, would have gone crazy with partying. literally in the first episode, she said she was close to getting a curfew she was going to break. she wanted to be rebellious from the first episode. bree would have been one of those teens that either did not want to grow up or wanted to grow up too fast. she may have even been a bit of a rebel in school. not too bad, but like getting detention sometimes. once she grew out of that phase possibly, she would have had an identity crisis. and yes, i mean that kind. she was not straight. there’s no way. she should have struggled with her sexuality. maybe even a potential love interest that was a girl. i mean, considering she was the only girl besides tasha, there should have been some sort of identity issues with her.

chase; chase probably could have been explored the most. disclaimer, i promise i am not being biased by saying that; i just know him the best out of all the characters. chase is the smartest man in the world and in my opinion, was way too sane. katie from alexa and katie would get overwhelmed thinking about high school and college and would have panic attacks. chase was stressed out a lot and probably should have had panic attacks. and it pains me to say that because the last thing i want is for him to have mental health problems but it’s very realistic that he would have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. additionally, i have seen a lot of people say this, i could see him being autistic. i don’t think he is, but if someone were to confirm it somehow, i would totally see it. i could see him being overstimulated and like how he jumps up and down when he’s excited? that could be him stimming. also, i’ve always wondered this, isn’t it painful to use his bionic eye? i feel like i would get headaches. and then all the apps he has? commando app (i will talk about spike momentarily), magnetism app, override app (no pressure??), internal hard drive, laser bow, molecular kinesis, super senses, levitation (which was only used once wtf), and obviously, super intelligence. think about how overwhelming that is, and they called him WEAK? bro was holding the team together. even if he weren’t autistic, he should have gotten overstimulated more.

follow up- spike; i’m going to be incredibly contradictory here but just bare with me. what the fuck did spike even do? he just caused destruction and distress for chase. when chase was nervous, mad, or embarrassed, he came out, but only when the episode revolved around him. i understand davenport’s intentions: remove the flight part of fight or flight, but why did he make him so angry? and also, i think that’s a bit insulting to chase, as if saying he’s too weak to handle himself. ugh, the very little he did was just useless. i wish we had gotten more of him and that he had had a bigger role. he was written terribly and never came out when he really should have come out. leo’s jam, trent gets schooled, rise of the secret soldiers, bionic rebellion, space colony, and the attack episode are all examples of where spike could have come out because chase was embarrassed or upset. also chase clearly didn’t like spike being a part of him. why did davenport never realize this and remove him when not only does chase not like him but also, he was doing anything but help chase.

leo- trigger warning, mentions of divorce, abuse, possible death; did the writers forget the literal first scene of the show? his mom literally got remarried. what happened to leo’s dad? did they get a divorce. did leo’s dad die? was he abusive? was he not around? so many questions. and we know they were married because leo excitedly said “my 𝐧𝐞𝐰 dad is batman!” so it’s not like tasha and leo’s biological father had a baby but were never married. in ‘can i borrow the helicopter?’ leo confides in davenport about his crush on janelle and he told tasha, which leo was upset about, but he had the opportunity to be more upset than he was. maybe his old dad never would have done that. maybe he’s used to it so he wasn’t as upset but he never thought davenport would have done that to him. he also forgave him way too fast (again, fast-paced episodes😒). he also should’ve had a harder time adapting to gaining 3 siblings after being an only child his whole life. i mean, even chase - who already had a brother - had a hard time gaining even on sibling. other than familial life and possible trauma leo could have had, i don’t have much to say about the character. he was written pretty well and had some awesome lines

i’m going to make a part 2 so stay tuned!

[via-rant]

Some opinions on PJO/HOO!

. First and foremost, The Lost Hero is a great fucking book! Y'all just don't like it cause Percy's not in it.

. Also Percy shouldn't have been one of the main characters, neither should Annabeth! The other two should've been Nico and Reyna! Who should've gone down to Tartarus? Leo and Piper! There could've been a lot more depth to Leo's powers and Leo's and Pipers relationship could've been a hell of a lot more expanded on! Platonically, of course.

. I hate people who say "Piper was so useless!" None of it could've happened without her bitch! Leo and Jason would've killed each other at Medeas place! This woman put Gaea back to fucking sleep I don't wanna hear it!

. Hazel isn't 'uwu' 'couldn't hurt a fly' SHE KILLED A GIANT BY HERSELF AT 13 AND CURSED OUT NUNS!! SHUT UP!!!

. SAME WITH FRANK!!! HE'S NOT ALL INNOCENT EITHER!! HE'S A DAM PRAETER FOR A FUCKING REASON!!! Also so many people are like "Leo insults him so much!!" Honey they insult each other! They argued!! Arguing goes BOTH WAYS!! Also character development happens people!! They got better!! Stop it!!

. I've only seen like 1 or 2 people say this but Lester is NOT a P3do! "He's 4000+ years old-" yeah in a 17 year olds body. He has actual hormones and Mortal shit now, having a small crush on Reyna does not make him a fucking p3do!! You wanna talk about a real p3do let's talk about Luke!! Or how Poseidon got Sally pregnant at 19???

. Adding to that yes Calyso is a p3do!! It's not the same as Lester!! Lester was thrown right into this teenage body, as a Mortal, he didn't have any experience with knowing how to do ANYTHING Mortal!! Calypso had thousands of years of maturing!! She's physically 15 but mentally she's like 10,000+!! Even if you skip that part, Caleo is still toxic! They fight all the fucking time!! If you think that's healthy, you've been brainwashed by the herteronormative agenda!!

. All the Gods are shit except Hestia, Apollo, Artemis and Hades!

. Leo is the main main character period!! Gaea went after him at 8 because he was destined to destroy her and she knew that!! Hera herself babysat him to train him for it!! If that's not main character energy, idk what is!!

. Jason isn't boring!! There are many times he made snarky comments or jokes that were actually funny!! And even if he didn't how would you feel if you forgot everything from the start?! I would be boring too!! (Also he's autistic.)

-----

I'll add more later if I think of any but here.

[crystalgastles]

i looove ur page, could u do some general hc’s nsfw and sfw both of them if ur comfie w it for jeff :3. tysm and remember to drink water and be easy on yourself💗╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

So, I don’t like writing sex scenes in general. The only reason I added one in after the flesh was because of the fact hiding your sorrows in sex, drugs, and alcohol are something I have dealt with and I feel like it was the right time in the story for it, (my character dealing with guilt about something I have yet to reveal and Jeff because of his religious trauma being brought back up) . I wouldn’t really have any general nsfw headcannons for Jeff just because I don’t write for smut fanfics (not that there is anything wrong with smut authors it’s just not what I do personally) but I’d love to answer for general headcannons since I haven’t really gotten in on appearance for him yet or personality. Sorry that was very long 😭 anyway here they are

His hair is very long (down to his mid back) with a ton of split ends because he only trusted his mother to cut his hair

My Jeff is autistic, specifically about food and what he wears because he’s very large in stature

He’s 6’7 the steeled toed boots he wears makes him around 6’8

He loves women, women took care of him, and it was mostly women who didn’t abuse him in the church so he has a very strong sense of justice when it comes to misogyny (my feminist king)

He doesn’t leave witnesses who can speak. He thinks that leaving them with the trauma is worse than just killing them

Has an intense fear of never being able to give or receive love

Had his eyebrow pierced when he was a teenager and never took it out, there is no eyebrow left but the bar is still there

Kills people over music opinions, mostly men who have no idea what good music is but act like they do

I headcannon him as bisexual but he leans towards women because he is more comfortable with them (go figure that’s my orientation too)

The entire right side of his chest and arm is covered in burn scars from when he burnt down janes house

He was childhood friends with Jane, her father found out Jeff was helping her sneak out at night to see her girlfriend and had her sent to conversion therapy and Jeff was forcefully baptized, the night he killed his family he burnt down her house with her entire family inside except for her.

He went in to try and save her but she wasn’t there, she was at her girlfriends

He was born on December 25th (religious imagery wow shock in my writing)

He lets very few people touch him, the people that he does however he likes to just have them close, most of these people are women

Very sharp features, his face is unique in my mind and I don’t know how to describe it but he’s very sharp but feminine in a way

He got his scar by cutting it open on stage for shock value when he was in a band

Was in a metal band in his teens called Glasgow, hence why he cut his face open repeatedly

He’s not good with relationships. He gets attached and jealous but will also leave for weeks at a time without warning even though he does not mean anything by it he’s just doing his thing.

Delusions are his falter. He has horrific cptsd half of the people he kills is for this reason

Extreme alcoholic, will drink rubbing alcohol if he has to

Has had four partners in his life, all of which are dead now

He hums to himself when he’s alone

When he loves he loves people, steals things for them when he can, buys things for them if he comes upon cash. He shows his affection like a crow

There are more but I’m running on empty currently but if there are any other characters you guys want to hear about let me know

[starlightseraph]

i, in a moment of weakness, unblocked one of the major rpf bloggers just to see how they would turn the sweet, loving smiles and pictures of the olivier awards into some intricate web of secret relationships and abusive partners, and i was not disappointed.

i think the months during which tumblr was flooding my dash with an endless stream of these posts (despite my attempts at blocking) had desensitised me to all of the genuinely awful things that get posted. i thought it was weird and gross, but i’d lost sight of just how completely tinfoil hat insane it is.

case and point:

HUH? what??

that is not what this looks like to any reasonable person. what it does look like is a conversation between them, during which georgia signals (with some urgency) that another person is trying to make it through behind them. she gestures that they need to move, and david notices. anna, facing the aisle, sees this person clearly, and tries to guide michael out of their way. michael, not quite sure where the person is, backs up first, before realising that he blocked their way more.

there. what the rpf people seem to think is michael’s agitation really only looks like he’s trying to move out of someone’s way, without being able to see them, while in the middle of a conversation. i do that head-to-one-side-then-to-the-other move whenever i’m in that situation. idk how they got “recoiling” from anna. georgia is clearly pointing to people, not desperately flapping around to get david’s attention.

i’ve watched this video several times. to form my initial opinion, to screen record, and to clip the recording. i looked out for specific instances the rpf blog mentioned, including a barely there “slap” of georgia’s hand in the first fraction of a second of the video, and i see nothing but perfectly normal body language for people standing in an aisle in a crowded room. you can quite literally see her hand formed into a pointing position, with one finger towards the group and another directing towards the isle. like it’s literally right there in the video, she’s pointing.

and here, a lovely group photo. except…

am i genuinely losing my ability to read people??because they look fine. not like they’re the most comfortable and free they’ve ever been, but they are at a crowded, televised awards show and they probably have limited time to take photos. ughhggg

then, this:

for the first screenshot, there’s a third distinct possibility: she’s poking fun at him. do these people really not understand banter in a relationship?? i would happily post about my loved ones or see them post about me with a “don’t encourage them” joke. playful annoyance and insults are super healthy, and from the way david sticks to his point in the video from georgia’s story, i’d guess he’s responding in a “watch me” way. as long as no one feels undervalued, which david’s firing back would suggest he doesn’t, it’s fine.

for the second: i cannot even imagine what would possess someone to edit a happy photo of a husband and wife, remove the wife, and edit in someone else. it has the same vibe of obsessed teenagers sticking cutouts of their own faces over photos of band members. especially with the blog’s caption, it feels like they’re implying that georgia is an annoyance or dead weight in david’s public life. she’s his wife, she deserves to be with him publicly whenever they want.

at the very least, find some real pictures of david and michael together to use as fuel for this dumpster fire.

the aforementioned rpf blog that i unblocked has spoken many times about how she’s autistic and can have trouble interpreting nonverbal cues. i can’t help but wonder if these analysis posts are, to some extent, an overcompensation, overlooking the simple explanation in favour of something complex. or maybe these people don’t have a good frame of reference for normal relationships, or they’ve spent so much time in an online echo chamber, originally spurned by some tiny notion, that they’ve forgotten how real people interact.

i’m neurodivergent myself (though not the more commonly recognised autism or adhd; i have other conditions that fall under neurodivergence). the result is that i’m hyper vigilant and often paranoid. in middle school, people would call me sherlock because i’d notice things that let me predict behaviour or work out the details of a person’s recent activities by looking at them. i’ve always found it very easy to read people and situations, and, from experience, i’m almost always right. i’ve never tried to do this, it just kind of happens subconsciously, and has for all my life. i generally don’t talk about these observations because i’ve creeped people out more than a few times by offering pens before they’ve realised they’ve lost theirs or dodging objects while facing another direction. but here i feel my observations can hold value coming from someone who has no trouble interpreting social interactions and with high situational awareness.

i really am just baffled by the insanity of all of this. “reaching” and “doing too much” come to mind. if david and georgia and anna and michael wanted us to know or say something, they would tell us. explicitly. if they really wanted people to think something, they would actually portray themselves that way, and not in a secret, can’t-hide-their-true-feelings way.

i’ve sighed so many times while writing this.

i’m actually quite proud of myself for going this long without unblocking them; when i see something i consider to be a batshit train wreck, i find it very hard to look away and i’ve gotten sucked into hate-reading many things in the past. not that i hate these blogs (although i do find their behaviour unacceptable and very confusing), but that’s the best descriptor i could come up with lol

anyways, all i really want is for the four of them to be happy and free from the amateur tmz reporters. ideally, this stuff will never reach them or have any impact on their lives, but it could, and that’s the most concerning thing to me. even if they are unhappy, i can’t imagine that seeing strangers saying that their misery is so obvious would be any less than horrible.

such brazen speculation is disrespectful to them, their privacy, and their agency to make good personal choices and share information responsibly. if they don’t tell us, they don’t want us to know, and it’s really as simple as that.

[beestandsforbiancanottheanimal]

batfamily members as taylor swift songs! or like, songs I think they relate to? songs I associate with them? whatever

dick: innocent, mirrorball, happiness tim: you're on your own kid, mirrorball?, this is me trying, mastermind jason: would've could've should've, getaway car, look what you made me do damian: the great war bruce: don't blame me, bigger than the whole sky, mastermind?, coney island? barbara: the man stephanie: nothing new, peace

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

My OFFICIAL intro post, since I never actually made one!

Hi!! I’m yourlocalbadgerscales ^^ My name is a reference to me being a Slytherpuff 💚💛

Yes, I’m a diehard Harry Potter fan and a Slytherpuff for life!

A little something about me then. I go by she/her pronouns and I am currently questioning my sexuality, but I’m pretty sure I am at least panromantic. And I feel like that’s all you need to know about my sexuality to know that this profile is a safe place for all you fellow queers (:

I feel like it’s also important to know that I am a teenager and therefore a minor, so any predators, please leave my profile immediately (I have already encountered one, sadly, and I’m new here! I made an account on Tumblr last week or so)!

But I do not mind making friends or just chatting with adults ^^

My interests:

• Music! I love singing and I want to learn playing the piano. I also love listening to music and I do it 24/7. My favourite artists right now are Conan Gray and Taylor Swift, but I also love a little bit of Eminem ^^ • Books! I read a lot, lately I have mostly read fanfiction but I want to change that, hehe. I also enjoy writing books myself (and fanfics).

• Harry Potter! I read the books when I was just a little kid, but I never really discovered the charm of Potterverse until last summer (when I btw realised that I was queer). I have strong opinions on many things in Harry Potter but there’s room for discussion! Feel free to comment on my posts and reblog, or just write to me privately so we can discuss!

• Marauders Era! I love the Marauders so much guys you don’t understand 😭 My favourite ships are Jegulus and Wolfstar! My favourite marauders era characters are James and Regulus!

•LGBTQIA+!

These are topics I will post a lot of stuff about on here!

Things I don’t like and won’t accept on my profile:

• Homophobes, transphobes etc.

• Racists

• People against feminism

• Bullies

• Snape apologists (unless you just want to have a polite, nice chat about your reasons and opinions, I love learning new things and trying to see stuff from a different POV!)

• Predators, pedophiles

• Trump supporters

• No picking sides between Israel and Hamas on here ‼️‼️‼️

• Nazis

• People who deny climate change

• People why deny that kids can have depression, anxiety etc.

• People who look down on other people with disorders or diagnoses

• Genuinely just people who look down on other, hate people for things they can’t control or are bullies. Yeah, you get it.

Other things to know about me:

• Don’t assume stuff about me

• I’m from Europe. Wtf is 5’6 and all that shi /j

• I don’t plan on showing my face on here. Ever. But I might reconsider.

• If you want to follow me elsewhere I am also on Pinterest and Spotify. Write to me and I’ll give you the links :)

• I am not diagnosed yet, however I am pretty damn sure I’m autistic and have ADD (ADHD), based on a lot of research and what professionals have said about me. So I am not self-diagnosed :)

• No slander of any kind on here. If you disagree with me or others here, be polite about it. I am kind of sensitive when it comes to destructive critism… learnt that the hard way.

• UNLESS I accidentally say something really hurtful! Don’t be scared to point that out! I can assure you I never meant to hurt anyone, if that’s the case.

Now you know a little more about me! I may have forgotten something so I might add stuff later!

I often follow back, BUT I would love if all my followers are just people who genuinely enjoy my content and not following me only to get more followers themselves.

Have a nice day and drink some water! ;) Your favourite badger xx ❤️

[parabellum--72]

Hi! Just wanted to ask what interests you most about Pekka-Eric and how was it experiencing the media frenzy surrounding the shooting? I am curious bc if I'm not wrong you're Finnish right?

Yeez, I am.. Quite an interezting quezztion you've got for me..!

What interestz me about thiz 🤏🏻Pecker iz that what waz hiz mindset. What and how did he feel and think.. Obviouzzly dumb shite alriight he did zhink. My honest opinion iz that he waz a stupid teenager boy with a sad fate. D'uh. What I've noticed he waz like a pendulum, swinging from side to side with hiz special autistic interestz. Oh wowziez. And nothing could be done to prevent it from happening according to a schizophrenic sh00ter from ze 90s? Well, here iz the thing. It could of be prevented. Soz, but it iz true. Anyways yap yap.

It iz saddening and I wish that kind of dedication to the subject to no one. You'd just ruin your life if you do anything like it. And you ruin so many otherz livez as well! I truly doubt Pecker wanted people to badmouth hiz dear, dear family and friendz both irl and online.

The media fhrenzeeh waz intense. As far as I remember, it waz on the media and newz papers for a long long time it feelz like. People trying to find the reasonz behind hiz act, but no one else indeed waz to blame than the almighty godlike Pekka-Eric. But ye, many people failed him though, so there iz that. People telling liez about him and claiming the dumbezt thingiez.

It waz a shock to people, obviously because thiz place waz thought to be this whimsically miraclouz nest where nothing bad could ever happen. Finnish, the nation of happy people? Well, doez it look like so? Nuh-uhiez..

It waz the hot topic for a good while, all those professionalz on media speculating what could of been the reason behind it etc. Stupid-azz trollz making these dumb immature oh-so-funny threatz to their schoolz online because heyy apparently it's funzies. It iz not. :'/

If you want fame, make an actually good change in thiz world.

[eevylynn]

🔥 for Teen Wolf, please :)

From this

Sorry that it's been a while

I've literally been thinking about this since I got this ask. I haven't been in the fandom long enough to really feel confident on what my unpopular opinions would be.

I guess that I like Sterek AND Stydia AND Stalia. I don't think Derek would have been comfortable if he had been the only one Stiles had been with considering Derek's teenaged years. He'd want Stiles to have some experience before being with him, so I think it's ridiculous to put down Stiles' previous relationships.

Also, Stiles being "mom" or the "pack mom" - why can't he be "pack dad"? You can have two dads... Seriously, enough with saying "Stiles is Eli's mom".

Overall, it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when people insist on Stiles being "the girl" of the relationship. As many say, he's a "feral bastard boy". He's a mean, if socially awkward, jock with nerdy interests who doesn't respect personal boundaries, like AT ALL. He's extremely parentified and so he will make sure everyone he cares about stays alive, but that doesn't automatically mean he's nurturing. Just look at his canon relationships with Liam and Isaac. He cares for their wellbeing, yes, but he is NOT nice about it.

I think that while Sterek are both versatile once together, Stiles would be the more dominant in bed and Derek would be more submissive. Derek was born a middle child beta wolf in a huge pack, and is thrust into a leadership position and is all alone. He wants/needs to be taken care of. After the Nogitsune, I think Stiles has even more control issues than he previously had and is a lot more aware of his dark side. Not to mention, Stiles is like the definition of Power Bottom.

I think people infantilize Malia. Just because she was a wolf for 8 years, it doesn't mean she's still, mentally, a child. She just doesn't understand human society. Considering the amount of autistic people that are the same way, it really annoys me to see.

I also think that Allison is overrated. <-probably my most unpopular opinion...

I can't think of any others right now. I think

[fics-n-stuff]

In preparation for Heartbreak High season 2 TOMORROW, and following up on this post from a year and a half ago I made about why Spider should have a redemption arc, I have another lukewarm take to present: if Spider deserves redemption then so does Sasha.

I thought about making this post ages ago, not long after the original Spider post, but I never got around to writing it out... til now! Here we go!

After season 1, I was seeing A LOT of Sashsa hate, much of which I agreed with but some that definitely went too far. I saw a lot more people calling Sasha irredeemable than I saw of anyone speaking that way about Spider or Dusty. I hate Sasha as much as the next HBH fan, but it is undeniable that if we give Spider enough grace to encourage his redemption we should extend the same courtesy to Sasha; if we have enough faith in the show to handle the nuance of his redemption then we should have faith in it to be able to handle her redemption too.

Sasha is not trying to be a bad person, she genuinely believes (in my opinion) that she is trying her best to be a good person. The problem is she's confusing virtue signalling and "wokeness" with actually being a good person, and that makes her behave like a bitch. What it all boils down to, just like with Spider, is attitude. What they need to do is pretty similar as well; Spider needs to start paying attention and empathising with the experiences of people around him and Sasha needs to realise that what she thinks is genuine empathy and compassion is really just performative and does not make her a good person. They both need to stop viewing themselves as victims, they both need to be more willing to hear other people out, and I believe that they both have the capacity to change.

The two things I hated most about Sasha were:

Her relationship with Quinni and the way she treated Quinni during that time, as I'm sure most (if not all) of you will agree. That whole episode with the book signing (episode 6: "Angeline") makes me so mad, and it is a perfect example of how her empathy is not genuine. When Sasha is told that Quinni is autistic, her immediate response is "I need to do some more research" instead of "I need to ask Quinni what she needs and what she wants". Right there, she fails to empathise with Quinni as a person because she's too busy thinking about how she should be empathising with Autistic People as a whole and thereby completely misses the point. In the same vein, we the viewers all see Sasha's ableism when it comes to Quinni and how she fails to treat Quinni like an equal, but Sasha is so convinced that she is a good person because she supports all of the right ideas that she fails to see when she's falling short when it comes to the real people actually in her life. (Even at the end of this post when I have explained why Sasha deserves redemption, just know that I absolutely DO NOT think that Sasha and Quinni should EVER get back together.)

The way she just drops people when the social tides turn against them. We see her do this with both Amerie and Harper, completely dropping them as friends as soon as everybody is mad at them and not even speaking with them first or even allowing them a chance to just talk to her. This still makes me incredibly angry. Sasha had every right to not want to be friends with both Amerie and Harper after the things that happened, but the way she cut them out of her life so completely without a second thought makes me seethe. Now, there are layers to this. First we have the double-edged-sword of school social hierarchy and Sasha's "woke" attitudes. I personally believe that Sasha definitely dropped her friends because she didn't want them to tank her social status (like lots of teenagers would, horrible as it is), but she justified it to herself by rationalizing it like a political/social justice issue. Amerie did something bad = Amerie bad = I won't talk to Amerie anymore. She treats the ending of a friendship like a corporate boycott. What she says to Harper in episode 6 ("I'm not gonna let you suck me into your negativity black hole. You're an emotional vampire, Harper. I watched a whole YouTube video on it.") is a shining example of both how much of a bitch Sasha can be to the people around her and how she justifies that behaviour to herself. They are bad so I don't have to treat them well. And sometimes that line of thought is genuinely justified, but people are not that black and white and to cut ties with someone you considered a close friend without even talking to them or allowing them to even try and explain or apologise is peak bitch behaviour if you ask me. Especially when it's so clear that they are struggling and have nobody else to turn to.

You may have gathered that both of these points link back to the same thing: her hollow social activism. I am not saying here that she doesn't actually care about any of the causes she supports, nor am I saying that no good has been achieved through her various activist endeavors, but I really think that she approaches it all in the wrong way. Sasha tries so hard to say the correct thing, support the correct causes, and be on the correct side of things in a widespread social view that, not only does it create an element of performance and virtue-signalling, but she just doesn't take the time to actually learn and consider things without looking so far out. To reverse a common phrase, she can't see the trees for the forest, (i.e. she's so focused on the bigger picture she can't see the closer points). I'm sure she really does agree with all of the political and social justice causes that she supports, but because that's all she thinks about it creates the insufferable holier-than-thou attitude that makes her such a bitch while also leaving this vacuum where she fails to apply these ideals to her real life. Empathy is research, compassion is protesting, and when someone fucks up and people turn on them then it's fine to just turn on them too because they did a Bad Thing, no matter what else is happening.

But the door to redemption is open for Sasha and, just like with Spider, I want to see what the writers do with it. I think the big bus fight in episode 6 and Sasha finding out that Quinni has gone non-verbal in episode 7 could serve to open her eyes as to how uncompassionate she's been to the people around her. If she gets clued in to what happened with Harper she may reflect on how poorly she treated her while she was dealing with all of that trauma and realise that she isn't as much of "an empath" as she believes she is, and that just might be enough to open the door for some well needed introspection. Progress would probably be kinda slow, like I said in my post about Spider most people with any kind of strong belief tend to get defensive when challenged, but, also like I said about Spider, if people hold Sasha accountable then change can 100% happen. If the people around her continue to show her that she is not the good and just person she thinks she's being but rather that she's being a bitch and not offering any support or understanding to the people around her, if they can show her that her attitude is causing them harm, then I think that has the potential to open her mind and allow her to learn to fix those problems.