#Rey can be a skywalker this way
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Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but Luke Skywalker should've adopted Rey as his daughter. Come on! She's just like him! I love that idea! That way, everyone can have the Rey "Palpatine"/"Nobody"/"Skywalker" kind of all in one.
She acts just like his kid. Come on. And if we add DinLuke to it???? Even better! I just know Luke is a girl-dad. And Din would love to have a daughter!
I'll write this or draw this myself, I swear.
#daughter#father#luke skywalker#star wars#disney#dinluke#luke skywalker is gay#din djarin#the mandalorian#rey skywalker#Rey can be a skywalker this way#Can Luke adopt Rey please#Luke would make a good dad don't lie to yourselves
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please remember that luke skywalker adopted rey and fin a few years after marrying din djarin and and opening his jedi school on mandalor with their green rat son.
#poe just like apeared on day and as a teen and begged to take the creed#never forget how lucas skywalker married the king of mandalor#lucas skywalker...#hehe#dinluke#din djarin#jedi can have attachments and the bond between so many of them in the prequels and clone wars is proof of that#if a normal person doesn't regulate their emotions they can become terrible and that applied to jedi#so if luke trains the kids to not be stupid shits then we can avoid sith lords#also kylo (ben) will begin training to take the creed when he is 11 becuase he thinks being a jedi is lame like his mom#ben also thinks that din is like the coolest fucking person and then he meets boba and hear about his dads time in cryo and is like:#yup that seals the deal give me my helmet#i miss finpoe so bad guys#and reys lesbian ass oh god i miss her#like booo the sequels but i love my gay ppl#luke skywalker#rey skywalker#finnpoe#finn#fuck what's his last name it's been a minute he doesn't actually have one what do we call him#grogu djarin#the way that we gave him dons last name HOLD ME#m rants in the tags
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Paleontologist Ben. You're welcome.
Also, Rey makes her appearance!
I've kind of worked out everyone's roles. Basically, Jannah is Monica, and was adopted by Han/Leia so she has the Ross/Monica sibling relationship with Kylo/Ben. Then Joey and Chandler are Poe and Finn, and Rose is Phoebe. Annnnnd making an appearance hopefully soon is ✨Hux✨ as Mike/David. Does any of this make remotely any sense? no. Am I rolling with it? yes, yes I am.
#star wars#friends#reylo#reylo au#star wars au#rachel green#ross geller#rey skywalker#rey of jakku#kylo ren#ben solo#honestly ben would be a paleontologist tho#after his treasure hunting on mustafar and the way he keeps historical artifacts (sith dagger#i mean i can see it#also if you mix up their MANY
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Why am I having so much trouble finding "Rey trying to avoid her grandfather's attempts to marry her off to an advantageous partner" fic (that isn't for The Ship I Don't Like)
#i searched for fic that had both Rey and Sheev and the word 'arranged'#unfortunately. 66 of the 71 fics are for The Ship I Don't Like#i found one that's Rey/Vader which is a solid maybe but the rest is just characters I don't know#or ships I'm not invested in#I'll that The Ship I Don't Like as the advantageous marriage Sheev is pushing#IF Rey ditches the altar to run away with Finn#shipping#arranged marriage au#arranged marriage#star wars#rey#rey palpatine#rey skywalker#sheev palpatine#finn#finnrey#Phoenix Talks#anyway I'm not naming the disliked ship because you can figure it out by way of Math#and i don't want this post to show up in a ship search and ruin their day
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The Last Jedi AU: Ignore whatever’s supposed to happen or where people are in this movie. Paige Tico is foiled in her attempt to release the bombs that would take out the First Order ship. Her ship is boarded and she’s taken onboard the Star Destroyer as a captive intelligence officer, but before she’s captured she’s able to relay a covert message to Rose telling her what happened.
Instead of the diversion to Canto Bight, Rose is the one with the knowledge of splicing into Imperial ships and she and Finn impulsively plan to jet over to the Star Destroyer in an escape pod Rose had been experimenting with a cloaking device on, the two of them breaking in on their own.
Finn finds Poe to tell him of Paige’s capture and his and Rose’s plan. Poe knows that he can’t condone or contribute resources to it and knows for a FACT Leia won’t allow it, despite the fact Paige is a friend and the same rank he is. He’s torn between getting her back but needing to stay and lead, so he he tells them to take BB-8 and does that Mr. Incredible thing where he tells Finn and Rose what “NOT” to do to get into an Imperial flagship, him planning the distraction from the outside and still screwing with Hux over the comms and keeping eyes turned his way as Finn and Rose sneak onboard to find Paige.
Can you imagine if like they manage to get into some labs while they’re doing recon and Finn senses something? Can you imagine him hesitating as they move, telling Rose they have to go back while she’s hissing for him to keep moving? Her either hacking into the tech to redirect First Order troops away from their location, or going off to find her sister herself while Finn stays behind? Finn finding schematics and draftings alongside old codexes and scrolls before eventually coming to the humming, fractured kyber crystal in the next room, hanging suspended in midair above the equipment? Realizing as he’s digging through the odd mix of both scientific and semi-magical texts what it’s for, but that Ren hasn’t been able to force it to conform to his needs, too unstable to be housed even in his own lightsaber? Finn starting to configure and piece things together even as Rose tells him they’re running out of time?
As they’re sneaking around, gathering pertinent information to the plot and finding Ren’s plans for Rey and Skywalker, they’re nearly caught— Surrounded by First Order troops and with seemingly no way out, Rose and Finn prepare for the worst, when all of a sudden one of the troops goes rogue and eliminates all of their fellow officers instead. Paige Tico managed to escape and had disguised herself, just happening to be lucky enough to run into them in the lower levels. Paige tells them of some of the other rebel prisoners aboard the ship she was planning to break out, and the three of them, finally united, start plotting their means off Ren’s flagship when they overhear Hux in the corridor talking about Ren meditating in some inner sanctum with an order to be left alone with his own retinue on pain of death as he searches the Force or whatever for the location of Rey and Skywalker
Back onboard the New Republic ship Poe and Leia confer with the other generals as to what the Sith’s next move is going to be when they receive an incoming transmission from Kylo Ren himself.
As Kylo Ren and Leia Organa face off in what was to be their last confrontation, the tone and gravitas of their conversation somber, something flickers over the feed, and everybody on the New Republic ship’s bridge sees a blinding arc of light as one of the First Order troops behind Ren steps out of line and carves a blade of shimmering green in a downward arc directly behind him.
Outraged and caught off guard, Ren blocks the attack with his own blade, both lightsabers flickering with different energies, and as Finn’s voice shouts over the holo Poe realizes that not only has Finn given them an opening to hit Ren’s flagship, he may have even been able to stop this war in its tracks.
#sequel trilogy#Finn#Poe Dameron#Rose Tico#Paige Tico#Kylo Ren#Leia Organa#star wars au#I just…….. did not like the plots of the sequel trilogy movies that I DID see#Haven’t seen Rise of Skywalker#The other two just weren’t good#The whole Canto Bight sequence was silly#The idea of trusting Benicio Del Toro was ridiculous#Poe’s weird storyline#Just. All of it tbh#Iknow it seems like I make a lot of ‘This Character Lives! AUs but have you considered#Using characters more effectively in the beginning of stories can lead to more meaningful deaths later when you DO use that as a plot point#And like with this you can obviously be following Paige’s escape and sneaking around the Star Destroyer in between Finn and Rose’s scenes#as well as Poe’s scenes#Idk what Rey’s doing. I thought the writers’ and directors’ use of the OG characters was disappointing and ooc#So I don’t… especially care about Rey if I’m honest#Finn should have been the Jedi#and/or Rey should have been a Kenobi#‘‘Or’’ a lot of things#Lot of ways you could have done those characters#hounds speaks
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The idea of Anakin trying to “fix” what he did as Vader (or more like redeem himself, since what he did can't be ‘fixed’) by helping people all over the galaxy as a Force Ghost does something to me
#anakin skywalker#darth vader#star wars#like. he goes to tatooine to help children find their way home when there's a sandstorm#he helps the slaves find food and water#when the empire returns he stays with the child soldiers they're using to give them company#he eventually becomes famous#leia and luke hear about this and go investigating#leia gets herself stuck in a shipwreck somehow and anakin helps her fix it without telling her who he is until she's finally safe#anakin regularly talks to luke and tells him stories about his mother. he doesn't see obi wan much but they're way better than before#leia doesn't forgive him (she never will) but after a while she's willing to listen to him#anakin is happy. leia will never forgive him but she can at least try to get to know him better bc that's what they both deserve#anakin is scared of interacting with ben solo bc he doesn't want him to end up the same way he did#still when ben gets lost in the woods he goes to help him. other children used to make fun of ben for never seeing the blue ghost#until he shows himself in front of them and says hi to ben like he knew him from forever#leia's not thrilled but she gets why he did it#anakin is being blocked from talking to ben when he Falls. he promises leia that he'll try to get through him but it's just not working#when ben dies anakin scolds him. that's when ben realizes that “YOU are darth vader??”#“i sure fucking am”#he helps rey and finally gains the courage to talk to ahsoka and apologize to her#just imagine the possibilities#avis talks#avis' post
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I know a lot of the SW comics aren't canon, Dark Empire especially since Boba's alive in a different way + many more details, but Kylo's backstory makes a lot more sense with this particular set of comics.
One thing I feel like the sequels didn't get right was that it didn't show enough about the corruption of Ben Solo. About why Leia and Luke sensed something awful within young Ben. You can't tell me Luke would look at a 6 year old boy and see him as irredeemable when Vader was in his perspective.
With comic context, it makes more sense. Here's the exchange between Leia and Palpatine when he tries to claim her as an apprentice due to her more upfront and occasionally aggressive way of handling things:
(Side note: The line about him being able to enter one of his clones additionally justifies Snoke's existence.)
With this context, it makes sense that Ben's family would sense something very wrong with him. Palpatine is an irredeemable evil, simply corrupt because he eroded himself until there was nothing left but that evil. Luke, in a moment of fear, was going to end Ben Solo's life to stop the growing evil that was within him. Another thing it explains is why he always heard Palpatine's voice in his head. It was Ben's mind, but he was not alone. Palpatine tormented another Skywalker boy until he had him running into his arms once more, this time using Snoke.
These comics were released in 1991. In fact, while researching this, I found out that this comic was potentially an inspiration for the sequels, which makes this even more disappointing. These comics were great. They set up a great potential, but they run into the issue of execution.
The sequels had great ideas and characters to explore, but expecting the audience to simply know where your story is coming from is a bit dumb. This is the meat they should have shown in TFA, not throwing us into the halfway point of a story where everyone's favorite characters are plucked off one by one.
Yet I still very much enjoy the flavor that this adds to the life of young Ben Solo, who never had a damn chance from the moment he was conceived. For the love of god, someone get this wretched old man away from this poor family.
#Im pro sequels btw if it wasnt obvious we're just divorced#kylo ren#ben solo#star wars#emperor palpatine#leia organa#star wars comics#star wars sequals#star wars sequel trilogy#star wars analysis#ky rambles#not kylux#If somehow you read this far even into my tags thank you#and ben solo sweetheart ik you arent real#but im proud of you for somehow overcoming all of this bullshit and finding any way to have light in you#thats your family's resilience at work#*cough* and this is also why vaderkin would 100% stand by kylo instead of hating him#thanks for coming to my ted talk#and if i can make an honest opinion clear i think the biggest mistake they made was taking the focus off of the skywalkers#it was there but felt more like a b plot compared to rey and her friends#who i didnt give a shit about and still dont give a shit about
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.
#tag talk#color says shit#okay here's the deal right? cursed lineage is actually a very solid plot. like. fighting the destiny laid out for you by your birth? solid#the thing about being a Skywalker and drawing parallels between Rey and Luke and how being the son of Anakin was a big deal#there's genuinely solid material there. I lowkey got chills part way through when Kylo was like something something you were born to it.#there's actually a lot of potential for good angst and the classic “choose good even when you're inclined towards evil” (paarthurnax style)#self doubt and fear of “who you really are” and then the choice to choose who you are. it's actually a really impactful narrative done well#it just absolutely was not done well#kind of like the “Rey is a self insert mary-sue” yeah and Luke was Lucas' self insert oc. it's not bad but it needs to be written well#the problem isn't women characters the problem is bad writing#anyway I'm not actually that good at media and character analysis so I'm gonna try to not gonna put my mouth in my foot on that point.#I just. like.. there were in fact some moments I liked. very very few. but they were there.#but good material poorly executed is still not very enjoyable unless it caters to a very specific interest (you're allowed to like bad media#you can like bad media. ofc. but damn if the execution was not great.
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Wait wait wait
Disney has added a CANON 'Jacen'????
Dude.
#star wars#appreciate the homage but#i mean okay sorry but in my lizard brain ben and rey will always be an analogue of the solo twins and#the whole weird UST thing in the last film did not exist esp not the whole last like 10mins of the film#no f'n way did leia train a wholeass jedi in her brother's stead after all her reluctance just to have said jedi#become some kind of high school sophomore codependent hot-topic-romance prey for her broody high school senior goth child#nope nu-uh sorry reylos you are entitled but imo that fanfic got it right bc i just CAN'T see it#forget the meme this is my Live Slug Reaction moment#'i am just. so tired. rey baby can you go tell your brother i said come home please. thanks sweetie.' -leia probably#rey skywalker slap some f'n sense into that boy challenge#disney leave the perfectly good three decades of EU alone challenge
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While Rey got shit handed to her, Elle would master the Force through sheer hard work and determination the same way she studied her ass off to achieve a near perfect LSAT score (179 compared to a perfect 180) okay now picture this:
While lying crumpled on the floor, the last thing Rey would look up to see is her chipper, smiling assailant, a mysterious blonde woman with impeccable fashion taste to match her quick-witted debate skills. She gasps out her final words.
“How… how have you mastered the Force?”
The blonde woman tilts her head a little to the side, a gentle laugh slipping past perfectly moisturized lips as she readies the killing blow.
“What, like it’s hard?”
#elle woods in a star wars au would have T H E pussy popping girlboss coochiequeen robes and sashes as her main fit okay#completely slaying in more ways than one#seriously tho Legally Blonde is a fantastic movie that shows u can be a pink loving shopping spree having slayboss AND smart as hell#its not mutually exclusive and Elle Woods embodies this so damn well i adore her#elle woods#legally blonde#rey skywalker#star wars
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The funniest fucking thing to me is if Grogu's thinking was,
"My time with Shiny Dad Man is limited whereas I can return to my training later."
And so eventually he shows up at Rey's school and acts like nothing changed.
Grogu: "Master Skywalker, I've returned to complete my training."
Rey: "What"
And trolls the hell out of her.
"We didn't do it this way in the Temple."
"That's not how Master Yoda taught it."
"I don't think my father, the best Mandalorian hunter of this millennium, would appreciate this depiction of our culture."
#the Mandalorian#din grogu!#following the time honored tradition of being a pain in the ass little swamp goblin
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𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫
pairing: anakin skywalker x reader
summary: he’d like to make you cry, but in the process he’ll cry too.
c/w: nsfw, sfw, fluff, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dacryphilia, (listen to pretty when you cry by Lana del rey)
discord - twitter: anakinsdove
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。Love you
𝘄/𝗰 - 1,263
Anakin loves you, he loves so fucking much, he really does… there’s not a single doubt in his mind and he hates to pretend that he doesn’t love you, the Jedi code, no attachments, only if they knew, he’ll destroy the galaxy to save you, he’ll kill everyone to save you, he’ll kill himself to save you.
This isn’t how it was supposed to be, you’re under him while he pounds you mercilessly, his hand tightens around your throat making it difficult to breathe, to think, to care, he wants you crying, crying for him and begging for him, but when he looked at you, despite the naughtiness of the act, he only sees love, his wife and reason to exist, his entire universe. Anakin can’t help it when he feels tears welling up in his eyes.
You’re there, eyes closed head rolled back, tightening around his cock as it kisses your cervix painfully delicious, milking him. He’s there on top of you, furrowed eyebrows, mouth hanging open ans his hand grips you hips tightly to keep you in place, a bead of sweat falling from his hairline, fighting the urge to close his eyes as pleasure overtakes him.
You’re not going anywhere, you’re not going to slip away and disappear if he closes his eyes for just a second, he tries to fight his thoughts, he growls and comes down to kiss your cleavage sucking marks into your skin, bruising you the only way he’ll ever will and taking your pebbled nipple into his mouth, his eyes won’t leave yours… he massages your other boob pinching your nipple with his index finger and his thumb, your back arches accidentally and you let out a strangled cry.
Your hands pull at his hair and anakin groans muffled by your skin then takes your wrists and pins them over your head with one hand, switches to your other boob so she can receive the same treatment, he’s so eager to please you, he’s eager to make you love him even when you already would sell your soul to be with him, he just doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get it how can he have something so fucking good in his life… or under him precisely.
“Keep your hands in there will you?” You nod dumbly staring at his frowning expression…. “Ani-” “Take it” he says and you wonder how long is going to take him to cum, his cock pulsates inside you and he already dragged 3 orgasms out of you but it’s not enough, he wants more… your pussy is sore and unbelievably wet he doesn’t ever want to leave.
The sounds of skin slapping get louder as he moves erratically against you, he’s getting tired but he won’t stop, his grip loosens up on your wrist releasing them, you take the chance to dig your nails in his back, he groans, it’s painful, it’s perfect… dragging them slowly scratching him… hurting him, the only way you’ll ever do.
“Tell me you love me” his voice is strangled
Everything is blurry, your tears are blurring your vision “I love you” you say, but it’s not good enough.
“Again”
“I love you”
“A-Again!”
He’s losing it, he’s so close, so close to let the white pleasure take over him completely, the kind of pleasure that makes him see stars, the kind of pleasure that will make him hold you so tight it’ll leave marks. “I love you Anakin! I l-love you so- f-fucking much!” That sends him over the edge, and his eyes roll back into his head and hides his face on the crook of your neck, his mouth hanging open, brows furrowing together, it’s too much for him.. who would have tought that Anakin skywalker, also known as “the hero with no fear” by the rest of the galaxy would completely come undone by someone telling him they love him.
Your 4th orgasm of the night hits you without warning as you were concentrating on the beautiful man on top of you, watching him unravel… your back arches prettily as you let out a cry, of pleasure, of pain, of overstimulation, love, everything… it’s the most beautiful noise anakin has ever heard, you lay there exhausted panting and holding him tightly… closing your eyes in pure bliss when you suddenly feel his still hard cock moving inside you again.
“Anakin!” Your pussy clenched around him making him moan… “One more” he says breathlessly “I need one more” tears well up in your eyes at the overstimulation nodding at him as you cry quietly… you’ll do anything that he ask. “Gonna pound you now” he warns.
It hurts for him too, his cock is too sensitive for this but he wants it, he needs it, the sticky mess between your legs only encourages him to fill you up again as the sticky cum drips from your pussy, his hand slides down to your sensitive yet untouched clit to draw tight little circles.
It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life, you hold so much love for him in your heart that it’s almost impossible to think about it without without crying because loving Anakin Skywalker is overwhelming, it’s raw and addicting like a drug, you’re completely high on him and the best thing is that it’s mutual, it’s everything you could ever wish for, he would do anything that you ask, no questions, it’s scary but devotion is everything and if breaking the Jedi code had consequences you’re disposed to pay them, whatever the price is to keep living this life.
“I love you y/n” Anakin breathes out
“You belong to me” he stops rubbing your puffy clit to bring his fingers to your mouth making you choke on them pressing on your tongue so you can taste yourself “Say it”
“I- i belong to you” it’s unintelligible but he smirks
“You’re mine” he growls
“I’m yours”
“No one else’s”
“No one else’s”
You keep choking on his digits as his tip hits that spongy spot inside you perfectly “it’s okay i got you” he says, his mind recognizes the signs of your body when you’re close, not only to cum but to break… “i want you to cum okay? Want you to milk me my love… t-take what’s yours, I’m yours do you understand?”
The pleasure is unbearable and your body comes undone in his arms, anakin captures your lips and muffles your cries, it’s a clumsy kiss considering he’s coming undone on top of you too, he slides his tongue in your mouth tasting you, you taste so sweet and he’s already drunk in you. His hips stutter as more cum drips from your pussy… he wasn’t intending to breed you tonight but maybe he did… he finally breaks the kiss and you’re both left in silence only heavy breathing can be heard… Anakin rests his head on your chest and sighs.
“You’re everything to me” he says and you play with his hair delicately making his eyes close involuntarily getting lost in a different kind of pleasure
“You’re my adoration Anakin” he grins like a child, pure and only happiness behind it
“D’you think you can tell obi wan you’re not going to this mission?” He says
“I don’t know, do you think master yoda is tall?” his boyish giggle warms your heart…. “Hey…. I’m yours until tomorrow, we’ve still got plenty of time alone together” your fingers tug delicately at the roots of golden curls.
“Tomorrow” he says
“Tomorrow”
masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.
dividers - @i92-93
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin smut#hayden christensen#anakin fanfiction#anakin imagine#anakin skywalker#anakin x reader#anakin x you#star wars anakin#sw anakin#hayden christensen characters#hayden christensen fluff#hayden christensen smut#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker x female reader#anakin
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i know i'm not the first to say this, but the acolyte's cancellation has confirmed how tired i am of disney's decision-making when it comes to their content. i know nostalgia is the easiest way to a big payout, but we can only take so many spinoffs before the universe starts to feel too small. but then fresh content—content that's building on the canon by looking to old star wars lore while asking new questions—fizzles out.
it's the sequel trilogy all over again. we're promised something new, something that actually expands the canon rather than just recycling it, even bringing in concepts from legends, and then the rug is ripped out from underneath us & we're punished for ever caring about any of it. silly babygirl! palpatine was always the big bad (don't worry about the fact that this is thematically nonsense and not foreshadowed in any way), and rey isn't a nobody ("your parents sold you because they loved you"), and this isn't a story about how the force transcends human categories and dynasties (represented by a grey jedi force dyad between a legacy skywalker and a nobody orphan from a backwater planet, fulfilling not only balance between light and dark but also transcending the old to become something new). silly idiot!!! rey's a palpatine by birth and a skywalker by self-adoption and god forbid she create her own identity outside of these names our fans recognize. watch as she stands alone on a sand planet that has no personal significance to her, ending her arc almost exactly as she began. but look!! two suns! neat
i don't even know if fanservice is the right word. at a certain point, it just starts to feel like they're quaking in their boots at the thought of doing anything new. i had my gripes with some of the choices in the acolyte, but at least it was unique. it explored a new era and asked questions that star wars has only ever flirted with. like: what happens to the children who are uprooted from their homes at such a young age, yet can't find their place in the jedi order? how does one survive in a supposedly honorable system that nevertheless relies on the repression of some of humanity's most fundamental emotions? is it possible that an organization dictating exactly how one ought to interact with the very life force of the universe... could perhaps be faulty and shortsighted? what happens when the ways of that order clash with other cultures and worldviews? (spoilers: space colonialism). and that's not even to mention the ideas they play with re: the force itself (vergences! plagueis! force witches!)
i know not everyone loved the show, but a lot of people really did care about it. a lot of people, like me, were excited to see these new questions being raised. but forget it—the disney gods have decreed that it didn't hit some magical threshold of streaming hours or reach a "broad enough" audience in the two months it's been out. but don't worry guys. turn your brains off and tune in for the next spinoff 2 chewy 2 bacca
#btw much respect to the team who worked on producing the acolyte#it's not their fault#i'm just reflecting on how much love and wonder i used to feel toward star wars#and now i'm just. so jaded. and tired#and there's more that could be said#about the *really* interesting political analogies we can make between the acolyte and our world#but i need to sleep#i don't usually post star wars stuff and ngl am scared of the fandom#don't be mean guys i'm literally just a stranger on the internet#star wars#the acolyte#long post#disney#tros#the rise of skywalker#also: rip#manny jacinto#would've loved to have had you in the star wars world longer than one season#ALSO i know this is a broader issue with streaming in general#but atm i'm thinking about disney specifically#rey palpatine#oshamir#sequel trilogy#streaming#disney +
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“I never wanted you dead,” Sheev said, smiling in a grandfatherly sort of way, which he was terrible at. “I wanted you here… Empress Palpatine.”
He gestured. “You will take the throne. It is your birthright to rule here. It is in your blood. Our blood.”
“I haven’t come to lead the Sith,” Rey replied, then there was a loud doom doom doom sound of someone knocking on a door.
“Who is that?” Palpatine asked.
Then Luke Skywalker entered the room, limned with blue light.
So did his father, Anakin Skywalker, and Leia Organa Solo. And Yoda, hovering along on a spectral hoverchair, and Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Count Dooku.
“...um,” Rey began. “Master…s?”
“Rey,” Luke replied, with a nod. “You were right, by the way.”
“What is this?” Palpatine asked, his voice hushed and touched with fear. “What are you doing?”
“You never heard the story of Master Qui-Gon the Insightful?” Anakin asked.
“I’m insightful?” Qui-Gon said, sounding pleased.
“You are certainly something,” Dooku said, as Yoda chuckled.
Palpatine looked like he might be about to have an aneurysm.
“It’s not a story the Sith would have told you,” Anakin went on, with a terrible glee in his tone. “You see, the Light Side is a path to many abilities some would consider to be… supernatural.”
“Got that out of your system?” Obi-Wan asked.
“For now,” Anakin shrugged.
“What-” Palpatine sputtered. “What are you – this isn’t possible! You are dead! It is the Sith who can defy death!”
“The evidence suggests otherwise,” Leia smiled, then cleared her throat. “Sheev Palpatine. We are formally accusing you of-”
“Um,” Rey said, a bit hesitantly. “Sorry to interrupt… I recognize most of you as Jedi, but what is Count Dooku doing here?”
“Probation,” Yoda stated. “Very nicely, he has asked.”
“We are formally,” Leia stressed, “accusing you of, among other assorted crimes, thirty-seven thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven counts of murder by use of a blunt instrument – to whit, a Clone Army – counting only those who were members of the Jedi Order in good standing at the time of their respective deaths, though we acknowledge that the number murdered on your orders is beyond easy counting. You are accused of treason in times of war and peace alike, of enforced disappearances, of enslavement, of wilful torture, of assorted Crimes Against Sapience, and of Consorting With Ye Powers Of Darknesse, which to my surprise was still on the books of the Old Republic.”
“There are, as the Princess says, many other crimes,” Dooku added. “But we believe those should be enough to be getting on with. For a start.”
Palpatine stared, then laughed.
“You – you are trying me?” he asked. “In what court? By what authority? I am authority! I reject your powerless, toothless threats! I am above punishment!”
“I think we’ll consider that a plea of ‘guilty’, then,” Obi-Wan said. “Wouldn’t you say?”
“That sounds reasonable enough to me,” Qui-Gon agreed. “All right. Grandmaster, if you would do the honours?”
Yoda raised his gimmer stick, and a bolt of lightning hit Palpatine on the head.
The Sith half-stood half-fell out of his chair, trying to hide behind it, then scowled at his own reaction and shot lightning at one of the Force Ghosts.
It passed right through Leia without doing anything at all.
Rey raised her hand.
“Am I still needed here?” she asked.
“You know, I think we can handle this ourselves?” Count Dooku said, courteously, then turned to Palpatine. “Know this, Sidious. You destroyed the Jedi Order, and now the Order will destroy you. If you return, you will be destroyed again. And again. Forty thousand angry ghosts cry out for vengeance.”
Qui-Gon coughed.
“Terminology, Master,” he said.
“Forty thousand annoyed ghosts seek justice,” Count Dooku corrected, as more Force Ghosts began to enter the chamber – walking through the walls in ranks, their ghostly lightsabers held high. “Is that better?”
“It’ll do,” Obi-Wan decided. “We appreciate you making the effort.”
Palpatine did not appreciate him making the effort.
#star wars#palpatine#anakin skywalker#luke skywalker#obi wan kenobi#qui gon jinn#count dooku#leia organa#yoda#chaos lineage#another bad day for palps#rey
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I am better
Poe Dameron x fem!Reader
A/N: I kinda roasted Rey at the end. I can't help it, I hate her. The only reason I tortured myself with the sequels was literally only because Oscar Isaac as Poe lol.
Quick summary: At a conversation between you, Finn and Poe about the old Clone Wars, you spoke faster than thinking, saying Anakin Skywalker is the best pilot in the Galaxy. Poe did not like that.
Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the tags!
Tags: nsfw, PinV, dom Poe, punishment, cockwarming, kind of dark Poe, jealous Poe.
A/N 2: Just realized the pic looks perfect. Finn is like: "Girl, you better run..." and Poe looks like: "Excuse me? What did you just say?!"
Sometimes it's better to think before speaking. It all started harmless, Finn, Poe and you were talking about the Clone Wars. Poe was worshipping the Clones, wishing they would be still around, Finn was drooling over Ahsoka Tano...and you? You were all over Anakin Skywalker, admiring everything about him.
"Anakin Skywalker? Come on, that's overkill!" Finn snorted, looking down at the Dejarik round they were playing.
"Why? Just because you're worshipping Ahsoka?" You chuckled, watching Finns dejarik player getting slamdunked.
"Ugh, you and your crushes..." Poe scoffed and leaned forward, preparing his round.
"Atleast we have one individual we love and not millions." you backfired at him, grinning cheekily.
"I think Poe chooses the Clones because all the other ladies are ugly and Ahsoka is the only sexy looking one." Finn nudged Poe, making him give a confused expression.
"Poe, how about Obi Wan?" you asked.
"Nah. He's way too noble, way too jedi-like..." he retorted with an disgusted expression.
"Wait! What about Bo Katan? Isn't she someone you'd be into, mate?" Finn suggested.
"I would even arrange the date between you two." You chuckled.
Poe just looked at you two, surprised but uncaring "You two are absolutely unfair, you know that?"
You three kept playing dejarik for a bit before Finn spoke up again.
"Hey, but what about you? Why Anakin Skywalker? Is it because he turned bad and you're kinda into bad boys?" Finn grinned at you.
"No!" you smiled, turning your head to hide the slight red on your cheeks.
"Don't be shy! Come on, spill it." Poe teased, giving you a cocky grin.
"Alright, alright, you won. I like him because he was the best in everything. Best at fighting, strong in the force." you leaned back in your seat.
"Wait, nothing else? Really?" Poe asked curiously.
"He invented the spinning." Finn joked.
You laughed hard. "And he's the best pilot in the Galaxy." you retorted but gulped as realization hit you.
You looked back up at Finn and Poe, Finn had his hand on his chin, trying to suppress the laughter threatening to come out of him. At this point you were glad at sitting opposite from them as you saw Poe's jaw tensing.
"Pheww, okay guys, I gotta go to Chewie and talk with him about something." Finn broke the silence, preparing to stand up.
"Wait, Finn! We didn't even finish our dejarik round!" You gave him an almost pleading look.
"I- uhh, I'm sure you and Poe can finish it just fine, right mate?" Finn chuckled nervously, giving Poe a pat on the shoulder.
"Yeah, we will get this over with and see who's the better one." Poe gave you a scowl.
"See? That's why I chose Ahsoka!" Finn grinned, finding the situation amusing.
"Anaking was Ahsoka's master!" you retorted, seeing Poe giving you a warning glance.
"See you guys later!" Finn waved and stood up, walking off, leaving only Poe and you alone.
"Poe...listen, I didn't mean to--" You got cut off by Poe, who stood up and made his way to you.
"I'll teach you better." he grabbed your arm and lead you out of the Millennium Falcon, leading you towards a small freighter nearby. Once inside and ensurring they were alone, he lead you to the cargohold and locked the entrance of the ship.
-----
Now you were on Poe's lap, his cock buried deep inside you, he held you firmly in place, not moving a little bit.
"Repeat what you said." Poe demanded lowly.
You squirmed, desperately trying to get atleast some friction "I-I'm sorry..."
"No, no, no, tell me. I wanna hear it coming out of your mouth again."
"Anakin-... is the b-best pilot in the Galaxy-..." you tried to move again but Poe had an iron grip that made it impossible.
"But is he really? Or is there someone better, hm?" Poe asked, holding you in place.
"Yes, you." you replied, making Poe's hips move a little bit before stopping once more. The little friction he gave felt so good, causing you to whimper after he stopped.
"So you admit I am the best and Skywalker is nothing compared to me?" he asked again.
"Poeee, please move. It's killing me..." you begged, feeling how slippy everything down there is.
"Answer." he tutted.
"Anakin is nothing compared to you. You're the best, Poe. Only you." you whimpered needily.
Poe chuckled, "See? It wasn't that hard now, was it?" he started moving slowly, only enough to make you crave for more.
Your eyes lulled back, you wanted Poe to move faster "Please faster."
"Is there something else you might tell me about Skywalker?" Poe asked, his pace increased slightly.
You knew exactly why he asked you that, he knew your mind was clouded with pleasure and thinking wasn't your speciality rightnow.
"He's handsome.." you slipped out.
"Handsome, huh?" Poe repeated, his hips stopped again.
"No- I mean- you-you're handsome. Anakin's not." You stuttered, trying to correct yourself.
"Damn right I am." he started moving again.
"If you ever say someone is better than me again, I will make sure to fuck you so hard you will forget all their names and only remember mine. Now enjoy the ride, honey."
Poe's thrusts increased even more, moving you up and down simutaniously.
Your orgasm approached so fast, it was only mere minutes before it ripped through your body. Poe's orgasm came right after yours. He grabbed a rag and cleaned both of you up while you put your clothes back on.
Poe and you left the freighter, walking back to the Millennium Falcon as Finn approached
"Heyy, did you two finally got an agreement?" Finn asked, looking at you two.
"Yep. We uh- we came to an agreement that Anakin is better at..." you trailed off, looking at Poe who was looking back at you expectantly.
"He is better with his lightsaber than Rey. I mean- come on, Anakin got training and Rey didn't, right? Having powers without getting trained is no right to call themselves a Jedi, right?" You chuckled nervously, your eyes flicking towards Poe for a split second.
"Damn, girl, you're really into the mood to fight anyone today, eh?" Finn laughed.
You glanced back to Poe, seeing him inhale heavily and closing his eyes briefly.
Noticing this, you quickly nudged Finn's shoulder, "Hey Finn, wanna finish our Dejarik round? I beat Poe, but the others are still in it." you urged him.
"Alright. Let's do this." Finn agreed casually and started walking.
You walked closely beside him, looking over your shoulder to see Poe shooting you another warning and his expression turning dark.
Oh no...
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SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE THIRD EPISODE OF AHSOKA
PRO JEDI RANT DOWN BELOW
This Loth Cat is a good representation of me not losing my mind on how badly the Jedi Order is being completely defiled by Feloni. Okay…so apparently according to Feloni anybody can just be a Jedi if they try really, really hard and believe in them because the Force resides in everyone when we all know that that’s not fucking true according to Lucas. Yes, the Force resides in all things HOWEVER it is the Force sensitive (I.e. the Jedi and Sith) that are able to wield the Force because they’ve got the blood to do so (midocholorians… I’m sure I’ve butchered the spelling forgive me). So with that being said, does anything in Star Wars even matter anymore? Like honestly.
By this logic…anybody in the OT could have just destroyed the Sith if they tRiEd HaRd EnOuGh. So I guess fuck the importance of Luke Skywalker and all the other survivors of Order 66? And I suppose by this logic none of the prequel Jedi or hell even Anakin doesn’t matter because anybody can just wield a lightsaber and tap into the Force if tHeY jUsT bElIeVeD iN tHeMsElVeS? Why does Rey matter when apparently anyone could have taken down the First Order and destroyed Palpatine when some fucking Mando could have just done the job of being Force sensitive doesn’t matter?
Like believe me guys, I am TRYING so hard not to be a hater but it truly makes me sad to see the one element of Star Wars I love so much (I.e. the Jedi Order and everything they do and stand for) just get picked apart and trashed over and over and over again. I just don’t understand it and I know I can’t be the only one feeling like this.
Also Ahsoka’s character right now is reminding me of Luke’s in TLJ where I feel like I’m seeing and hearing a completely different character and it’s heartbreaking when you’ve looked up and loved these heroes so much. Like for Gods sake can we settle the score in where Ahsoka stands with the Jedi? Is she or is she not? Because right now she’s doing a poor representation of all her mentors who have lost their lives staying true to themselves, Jedi who gave everything to protect and save lives. Now she seems to just go out of her way to scoff at the Order that raised her, similar to Luke dismissing the very thing that gave him hope in the OT.
As these new shows go on, it just makes the fall of the Jedi Order all the more tragic just seeing how their sacrifice and good will meant absolutely nothing. That’s why characters like Cal Kestis and Cere Junda are incredible. They stayed true to their Jedi values no matter what because that’s what the galaxy needs, heroes who care. Not heroes who have personal agendas.
#pro jedi#pro jedi culture#ahsoka show spoilers#anti ahsoka#anti dave filoni#darth felonious#jedi order#star wars#long live the jedi#jedi#the clone wars#ahsoka tano#luke skywalker#rey skywalker#cal kestis#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#barriss offee#luminara unduli#leia organa#yoda#mace windu#plo koon
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