#I just…….. did not like the plots of the sequel trilogy movies that I DID see

[corellianhounds]

The Last Jedi AU: Ignore whatever’s supposed to happen or where people are in this movie. Paige Tico is foiled in her attempt to release the bombs that would take out the First Order ship. Her ship is boarded and she’s taken onboard the Star Destroyer as a captive intelligence officer, but before she’s captured she’s able to relay a covert message to Rose telling her what happened.

Instead of the diversion to Canto Bight, Rose is the one with the knowledge of splicing into Imperial ships and she and Finn impulsively plan to jet over to the Star Destroyer in an escape pod Rose had been experimenting with a cloaking device on, the two of them breaking in on their own.

Finn finds Poe to tell him of Paige’s capture and his and Rose’s plan. Poe knows that he can’t condone or contribute resources to it and knows for a FACT Leia won’t allow it, despite the fact Paige is a friend and the same rank he is. He’s torn between getting her back but needing to stay and lead, so he he tells them to take BB-8 and does that Mr. Incredible thing where he tells Finn and Rose what “NOT” to do to get into an Imperial flagship, him planning the distraction from the outside and still screwing with Hux over the comms and keeping eyes turned his way as Finn and Rose sneak onboard to find Paige.

Can you imagine if like they manage to get into some labs while they’re doing recon and Finn senses something? Can you imagine him hesitating as they move, telling Rose they have to go back while she’s hissing for him to keep moving? Her either hacking into the tech to redirect First Order troops away from their location, or going off to find her sister herself while Finn stays behind? Finn finding schematics and draftings alongside old codexes and scrolls before eventually coming to the humming, fractured kyber crystal in the next room, hanging suspended in midair above the equipment? Realizing as he’s digging through the odd mix of both scientific and semi-magical texts what it’s for, but that Ren hasn’t been able to force it to conform to his needs, too unstable to be housed even in his own lightsaber? Finn starting to configure and piece things together even as Rose tells him they’re running out of time?

As they’re sneaking around, gathering pertinent information to the plot and finding Ren’s plans for Rey and Skywalker, they’re nearly caught— Surrounded by First Order troops and with seemingly no way out, Rose and Finn prepare for the worst, when all of a sudden one of the troops goes rogue and eliminates all of their fellow officers instead. Paige Tico managed to escape and had disguised herself, just happening to be lucky enough to run into them in the lower levels. Paige tells them of some of the other rebel prisoners aboard the ship she was planning to break out, and the three of them, finally united, start plotting their means off Ren’s flagship when they overhear Hux in the corridor talking about Ren meditating in some inner sanctum with an order to be left alone with his own retinue on pain of death as he searches the Force or whatever for the location of Rey and Skywalker

Back onboard the New Republic ship Poe and Leia confer with the other generals as to what the Sith’s next move is going to be when they receive an incoming transmission from Kylo Ren himself.

As Kylo Ren and Leia Organa face off in what was to be their last confrontation, the tone and gravitas of their conversation somber, something flickers over the feed, and everybody on the New Republic ship’s bridge sees a blinding arc of light as one of the First Order troops behind Ren steps out of line and carves a blade of shimmering green in a downward arc directly behind him.

Outraged and caught off guard, Ren blocks the attack with his own blade, both lightsabers flickering with different energies, and as Finn’s voice shouts over the holo Poe realizes that not only has Finn given them an opening to hit Ren’s flagship, he may have even been able to stop this war in its tracks.

[gotta-get-back-to-hatchetfield]

Okay so I took some notes during the Hatchetfield Halloween party stream

This doesn't include spoilers for Working Boys (which was actually fucking excellent) and also doesn't include the proposed NMT3 episode descriptions just because I didn't screenshot and I've seen a billion posts of them going around.

Steph's mum's dead, Matt Lang says it's likely something to do with when Solomon Lauter says about the black book 'I'm never touching that book again'.

Nora is the owner of beanies

Melissa is a serial killer in every reality

The black alters constructed by the church of the starry children: Lakeside mall, Waylon place, the highschool, the starlight theatre, CCRP (formerly the site of the Hatchetfield Gazette)

Greenpeace girl's real name is Harmony Jones

Duke's dad was the sheriff of Hatchetfield and was murdered in October 2005 by Wilber Cross

Linda auditioned for Working Boys but was the only person not to make the cut.

Working boys was originally going to be much longer and more complicated and the black book prop was originally commissioned for it. In the end most of that content ended up getting lifted and pulled into nightmare time episodes. The song 'The Summoning' was originally written for Working Boys as the goal was to trick the cast into performing the ritual. This also originally wasn't supposed to happen in Nerdy Prudes.

They're keen to put the brakes on Hatchetfield at some point soon and the next musical definitely won't be Hatchetfield.

NMT2 ends on a cliffhanger because they originally intended to do NMT3 very shortly after to wrap up some of the loose ends.

Doing NMT3 will depend on demand. Writing a season of NMT takes about 4 times the amount of time as writing a musical and If they did NMT3 they'd want to make it even less zoom cally than NMT2 (i.e. have characters talking to each other) which also takes a lot of time and money. They are very keen to do it on a personal level as the arc from NMT2 currently feels unfinished but doing it will depend on demand.

They're keen to do more film style things akin to Working Boys.

Proposed NMT3 episode 'Bottle Imp' was originally planned to be part of NMT S1 E2.

NMT3 would revolve around Halloween.

They originally thought the musical trilogy would start with nerdy prudes must die and have the sequel be 'horny campers must die' (which became absintence camp), the third in the trilogy would have followed a similar plot to proposed NMT3 episode 'Devils night'.

The soldier referenced in the description for proposed NMT3 episode 'Orbweaver' is General MacNamara.

If they ever did another Hatchetfield musical at some point in the future it would be about Miss Holloway and her origins story.

They want to do a Hatchetfield movie at some point, and Working Boys was a test for how well Hatchetfield transfers over to that medium. This would have to be isolated in location and character list to be feasible. Their current thoughts for this would be 'Cast Party Massacre' which would involve a lot of the new characters we met in Working Boys.

[mk-wizard]

Transformers One Review

I know I'm late to this party, but I finally did it. I decided to watch Transformers One is spite of my apprehension and very cautious optimism (no pun intended). This is because I've never seen a Transformers that was great. They were either just kind of fun or bad. None of them were movies that were the kind of movies that had anything that made them really stand other than the soundtracks, great art or special effects, or serving as advertising for an upcoming new Transformers TV show. For context, I have been a Transformers fan since I was 4 and now I am 40, so I know what I am talking about and this media shaped my standards in cartoons, so of course, I'm going hold it to that same standards. I will always praise a series when it did great and I am not above admitting when something falls flat. Note, I admit my standards and tastes are not every TF fan's let alone everyone's opinion in general. With that all said and done, I used to think movies were Transformers Achilles' Heel. In other words, it is a medium that you can't translate something as big as the iconic bots into.

Well, after watching Transformers One with my husband last night just for fun with the attitude of "Well, it will be fun at least and if we don't like it, we'll just stop it", and now... if I said that all I can say is "awesome", I would lying. Because at the risk of sounding controversial, Transformers One was not an awesome Transformers film and I will be damned before I call it that...

... It is an awesome film. PERIOD.

I was so happy to be proven wrong and so happy to see Habsro break the Transformers-mediocre-movie-curse. This is the kind of movie Transformers should make more of because it is not a toy commercial, it does not over rely on special effects, there's no silly fanservice, there's no politics and most importantly, no sidelining of the bots.

Instead, we got a film that actually tells a story with a plot and deep complex characters who add to the lore, the focus is on Transformers, we finally see Cybertron itself be put on the spotlight and we finally get a nice clean origin story that works. Whoever made this film needs to put in charge of ALL Transformers films from now on as well as the cartoons. I love it so much that for the first time when I was informed that this is actually be part of a trilogy, I got excited the sequels were going to be made. And this time, I'm going to make a point of watching them in the theater!

Gongratulations, Hasbro, you finally did it. You made a Transformers film that was great.

PS: (Spoiler Alert) I don't consider Elita-1's character "woke". I consider it as realistic considering her situation, her harsh life and all that she has to put up with.

@tntmtheshow @headdypidgeon4180

[thekaijudude]

Ultraman Rising First Thoughts

Just finished the film and wow, this definitely exceeded my expectations

Going into this, I thought that the film will have a typical boring and basic plot cause the director stressed that it'll serve as an introductory film for the mainstream western viewer

But wow was I glad to be wrong about that

But perhaps its because I personally resonated with the overall message and the struggles the MC goes through

I also enjoyed and caught most of the Easter eggs here and there from various main series, the netflix ultraman suit trilogy and even a godzilla one

The ending was the highlight for me as it definitely felt very emotional as well

I also liked how nuanced the villain was, and can tell that the director purposely portrayed him as such. And not to mention under the same circumstances, I'd probably do the same

Tho if there was one thing that was a negative for the movie that I have to say, it's probably the build up felt too long, but then again, it was understandable given the premise (still not exactly sure why Ken and his mom relocated elsewhere from his dad tho)

I'm also slightly perturbed at the fact that Professor Sato's Ultra aged so quickly in just 20 years where Ultras in the series can seem to not age a day even after 10 000 years. But if TsuPro wants to reconcile this in subsequent UGF installments, they could probably just say that they hail from an Ultra species that age the same as humans or sth with the same lifespans, or that he remain too far away from the source of his home planet that he's bascially shriveled up after 20 years or sth

Overall, this film can definitely be enjoyed by all even for us hardcore fans. Shannon also did mention that he has ideas for 2 more sequels (like ShinU) but it'll depend on how this movie does. Definitely looking forward to a trilogy series directed by Shannon indeed

[theriverbeyond]

what series scratch the same "itch" as TLT for you? Recently finished the trilogy and feel empty and have found nothing to fill the void in my chest (lol) that TLT had in the weeks I was reading it. I have already experienced homestuck, when thhey cry, and most of the other "big names" of similar media. Any format works as long as its good. I like morally grey characters (Ianthe), well written female leads, character driven narratives and lesbians (in that order.

1. Princess Floralinda and the forty-flight tower (by Tamsyn Muir. excellent audio book narrated by Moira Quirk, same voice actor as TLT)

2. All of Tamsyn Muir's other novellas and short stories (The magician's apprentice, The house that did 16 loops of time, undercover, chew, the deepwater bride, etc)

Next up is entirely my personal and extremely picky and subjective preferences of brain zing, ranked in order of me remembering them

Chainsaw man manga (i read this 5x back to back when I first got into it in 2021. part 1 is complete, part 2 is still updating. part 1 can be experienced as a complete work. the anime is very good but the first episode is not as good as everything after it)

This is how we lose the time war book (feels sorta like fanfiction but the prose is gorgeous)

Interview with the vampire tv show (it's fun, it's camp, there are a lot of gay and bisexual people making really terrible decisions and being very hot)

Gurren Lagann anime (my favorite anime of all time. the women characters are not good, as is typical of many animes. the bathhouse episode can be skipped in its entierty without losing any plot. the overall story is really good and gives me that zing)

Arcane tv show (i watched this in full once and every since have just watched a caitvi + jinx whump clipshow but it did give me that zing. i do not care about the men)

Fullmetal alchemist manga or FMA brotherhood (really good and at this point a classic. royai is the queerplatonic campal blueprint i will not be taking critique at this time)

Revolutionary girl utena anime (watch the sub, do not watch the dub, the dub didn't make them gay. it's really good but heavy TWs and also it is paced like a 90's anime so: slow with a fair amount of filler, which can be good or bad depending on your preferences)

I have complicated feelings about Baru Cormerant and recommend reading up on content warnings if things like violent homophobia and very intimate portrayals of being a colonized subject are things that would upset you. It felt a little too personal to my life for me to like... think it was "fun" or whatever like it felt uncomfortably personal (and also subjectively I didn't super enjoy the pacing of the latter 2 books) but it did make me feel a lot of things and think a lot of thoughts. if the blurb sounds like something you are interested in then I recomend giving it a shot and then you can decide what you think of it yourself

Ancillary justice book (liked this one a lot, but havent felt motivated to read the sequel)

Other fun Studio Trigger animes such as Promare, Cyberpunk 2077, Kill la Kill

Nausicaa and the valley of the wind manga (the movie is good but the manga spanned 10 years, is gorgeously rendered, and goes MUCH more in depth especially wrt climate philosophy and such)

Slay the Princess video game (on steam but also I got into it just by watching letsplays online. It's really good and REALLY interesting, i love how it uses the visual novel format to its story advantage to pull of some incredibly cool story twists. Highly recomend!)

I feel like I am forgetting things that made my brain zing. My childhood special interest was CATS the musical (stage play and 1998 recorded production) and i definitely got brain zing from that but I don't think it has a lot of taste overlaps with tlt. this post really went off the rails but in my defense, it is after midnight

[zombie-bait]

my favourite fandoms are the ones where you cannot tell at fucking all what the original media is about from the tumblr content. I was seeing Deadpool & Wolverine posts for like a MONTH before getting to watch the movie in cinemas and I did not know a single lick of plot but oh boy did I understand what went down in that honda odyssey. It gets better the further it's removed from how your average "I've never even touched twitter" human being would interpret that piece of media. I'm talking Star Wars sequel trilogy on ao3 (iykyk), the whole Marauders experience built from the burning remains of Harry Potter, the fanart of Better Call Saul I spotted during my brief time on twitter, just everything about my favourite show Hatecrimes MD. Try explaining the concept of old man yaoi to Greg from Dominos who's only watched the Marvel movies his kids tell him about and you'll really get to see what a big and beautiful world we live in

[mask131]

Why the Time Bandits remake makes me feel an angry despair (1)

I announced it before: I am mounting my high horses for this matter.

"Time Bandits" is a children fantasy movie by Terry Gilliam, released in 1981. It is one of those "almost Monty-Python-movies" thanks to two other Monty Python actors joining Gilliam's project: John Cleese, playing Robin Hood, and Michael Palin playing a poor guy who keeps being reincarnated throughout history and always has the worst love life. This movie is part of the "Imagination Trilogy" of Gilliam, meant to represent the "childhood imagination" - alongside the dark movie "Brazil", for "adult imagination", and Gilliam's adaptation of the Adventures of the Baron Münchausen, for "old man imagination".

I love Time Bandits. It isn't just that I love, I adore it. This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and it was such a huge part of my childhood it literaly shaped my imagination in many, many ways. It is still to this day one of my favorite movies, with such a unique feeling I couldn't find anywhere else but in other Gilliam-related or Python-related movies.

It is one of these rare things where I can say I am really a huge fan. I bought the Criterion Collection DVD, I bought the official script-book, I went online to find alternate versions of the scripts which contained deleted scenes NOT in the official script-book...

I even chose this movie as the subject of my presentation for my high school diploma, doing a full analysis of it that gave me a very good grade. I am really in love with this piece.

NOW if you haven't heard about it, a trailer was released for an Apple + series of (10 episodes I think?). "2024 Time Bandits". A remake by Taika Waititi (among others but he is the main guy behind this).

I had heard of this project a long time ago because Waititi's desire to do something Time Bandits related has been around since his glory days with "What we do in the shadows". He kept speaking about how much he loved Time Bandits and how he wanted to do something related to it.

... I never realized he meant doing a remake a it. Time Bandits has so much potential for sequels or prequels or alternate takes or whatever cinematic terminology you have.

Now, that being said, I don't mind a remake. Waititi has proven to have good ideas and cool projects, and he seemed to really be a fan of the original - plus it was a project he had been dragging for quite some times, so I had still some interests and hopes...

... and then the trailer came out. And I saw it. And...

... You know it will be the first time in my life I will turn into one of those angry Internet ranters mad about a remake of their favorite thing. Never in my life before I was involved on a personal level with disliking a remake but OH BOY here I am.

There are so many things BAD with this trailer. Not wrong. BAD. I don't dislike all about the trailer... But I dislike most of it, and I don't just "dislike" it as in "Oh yeah, they could have done better", no, we are talking about a "I DESPISE this".

Honestly it looks like the people behind this series considered everything that made Time Bandits unique and powerful and cool and weird... and decided to remove it to make it bland, flat and... a sort of flavorless, mass-marketable Americanized modern vaguely super-hero like movie (did Waititi's experience on the Thor movies screwed his imagination THAT badly?)

I literaly do not understand how someone so hellbent and so dedicated to Time Bandits could create a product that looks like was designed by people who only vaguely heard of the original movie's plot. Because the people who made this series clearly did NOT understood the heart, soul or goal or the movie.

I heard something about Terry Gilliam being hired as an executive producer, coming on the set for a planned three months, but leaving abruptly after only three days and never returning. And people concluded that it was because he was pissed off. Seeing the trailer, I am inclined to believe he was.

[aquavierra]

Hear me out on my list of everything that I want for the upcoming sequel of Ocean's Trilogy that they said in pre-production:

STOP FORCING DANNY AND RUSTY TO BE HET. THERE IS NOTHING STRAIGHT ABOUT THEM! Homies don't stare each other like they wanna eat each other (yk what I mean.)

I hope this one will be set in casino but instead of boring Las Vegas, we are going straight to Monaco. Even better when you think about it; it has Casino and is in Europe. Basically a perfect mix of Ocean's Eleven and Twelve. Also I'm daydreaming to see the casts on yacht again like they did during Cannes film fest 2004 lol.

We need Toulour back, probably this time he is going to be the additional person in the team.

I want the plot to be revolving around Danny faking his death, why? Because well, hehe, might be funny if Danny and Rusty were secretly retiring together and coming back for this last heist to end their criminal activities for good or they might be just bored. But all Ocean's Trilogy heists happened for good reasons so I hope they make it complicated as the predecessors.

I need more intimate conversations between Rusty and Danny. We also need to know their backgrounds and stuffs because although headcanons that writers and fans made are great, I need some closure because they talked like a pair of mind readers and we just like to assumed things (the worse thing is that all of our ideas fit so well with their dynamics.)

Cameo of Debbie and Lou! (SELF EXPLANATORY)

I don't need to put this on the list because we all want this one: bring all the remaining Ocean's Eleven back! AT ALL COSTS! (I don't care if the budget would balloon like crazy, this is probably the last time a franchise movie might be good.)

Don't make Danny and Rusty married to anyone (other than with each other) pls, don't make them have children or any sorta stuff that are so cliché. It's a fact that they won't be conforming to society's heteronormative child-centric ideals. Quoting from Captain Raymond Holt the badass king.

Interesting villain! Gotta be honest Terry is my favourite, both intimidating and as the films progressesed he became more and more chill like rest of the people who robbed him lol.

Tess and Isabel cameo (sorry I want this one to be revolving around the boys not like girls aren't invited tho hehe.) The girls need to meet the rest of Ocean's 8 plsss!

Bring back Toulour too and his absolutely mindboggling capoeira skill.

Dude, I know Brad Pitt's old now and probably needs to check his calorie intakes every now and then but probably a lil bit snacking won't hurt hehe. Basically I need Rusty to munch celery or anything.

[silvercityyir]

I just finished watching the 1990 tmnt movie. It was a good movie, I really love it, there were comedic moments but it didn't go overboard with it the whole plot.

Shredder in the movie manipulate teenagers felt like a genius writing for the movie, why is no one talking about this shredder? He's so well written as a villain. The elements of crime commited by teenagers is also well written too

And the turtle boys, they were so cute, goofy and awesome as ever although their a bit of a show-off in my view whenever they fight ninja style at the start, idk about others views tho.

And splinter I like him too, he sounds like an aged father 'I did a funny' love that line of his. Also, is it just me or the actors for april and casey are both equally pretty, I like the way their both written too.

As a 22 year old, tmnt fan who has now discovered seen the 1990 movie, I see why nostalgic fans love it, I like it too and I kinda wanna draw the the screenshots of it. with 07 turtles since it's the one I can draw and also the fact that the 07 is a long sequel to the 90 trilogy movie as said vy the director still stuck in my brain

Now, I should give the 2nd and 3rd movie a try too. I've seen the clips on yt it's cute and hilarious :D

[journalsouppe]

UNWOUND FUTURE RAAHHHHHHHH!!! What an AMAZING trilogy conclusion with such a perfect setup for future sequels. I cannot recommend playing Professor Layton enough.

All of the Professor Layton stickers are from @jordydrawsmerch which can be found here and here. Every other sticker is from Daiso!

All the writing is typed below!

Rating: 9.3 Played: Fa 2023 Port: HD mobile (iPad) Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y

Comments:

the way the PM walked T^T

LMFAO STACHENSCARFEN

Layton’s about to be beat up bc of his top hat (skull emoji)

Getting major DGS 2-3 vibes

FAMILY GOON

An arc arcade? You’re speaking my language

I LOVE THE BLOCK HAT PUZZLE PIECES SPELLING LAYTON IN JAPANESE!!!

FLORA STICKER

BABY LAYTON BLUSHING IM SCREAMING

I really love the picture book and its music

THE DEVIL IN THE TOP HAT NOO

Luke always takes the opportunity to roast the Laytonmobile (skull emoji)

THEYRE JUST SHOOTING AT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

THE ORIGINS OF LAYTONS HAT IM GONNA CRY T^T

I love that bi Luke has his own puzzle solving sequence

Where the fuck did you take us future Luke

The battle of wits was so fun omg

I cant get over evil Layton

BIG LUKE AND LITTLE LUKE

Omg Hershel in the background

Based p. Layton newspaper conversation

LMFAO Hershel trespassing and Luke stressed

The bee???? T^T

FLORA PUZZLE SOLVED SEQUENCE T^T!!!!

GO OFF FLORA!!!!

Ooo pretty Chinese arc

Hershel i swear

Hmmm young sir… who is big Luke?

NOT AVOGADRO

Did all the scientists piss their pants?

I have a lot of questions

Love the design and music of the pagoda

Where tf did Hershel go (skull emoji)

Omg Luke’s a Sherlock fan

I feel like Layton was replaced with evil Layton

I swear Dimitri had a mustache??

THE BARS

WHERE IS FLORA

DON PAOLO LMAO

THE LUKE MOBING SCENE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

How many secret hideouts are there T_T

NOOO FLORA

The barkeep is v sketch

Chad laytonmobile

I can see how this game inspired dgs

THE KAZUMA AND CLIVE PARALLELS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

BEASLY AND PUZZLETTE HOLY SHIT

“That’s funny” :[

Ive been side eyeing some of these designs the past 2 games but yeah bostro’s design is def racist

DON PAOLO TURNIGN EVIL BC OF CLAIRE LOVING HERSHEL LMAO T-T and the running into the river omfg

Working with don paolo has been fun

I DIDNT THINK LAYTON WOULD ACTUALLY CUT THE ROPE

Where did Layton learn all this about Clive??

Summary:

WHAT A PHENOMENAL GAME!!! Truly what a great “conclusion” to the main trilogy. You learn so much about Layton, Luke, flora, and many other characters like don paolo. The ending reveal of Clive was CRAZY. It really reminded me of movies like howls moving castle/the iron giant. I also just love how complex Clive is. He was driven to violence because of how the government treated him and his family, but he never truly wanted to hurt people. He was without any hope and thought mass destruction would finally bring some change to the government, but he also made sure to include Layton in his plans because he so desperately wanted someone to stop him. It’s tragic and terrorism definitely wasn’t the way to go but at least this is a fictional story and that death machine looked kinda sick Ngl. The story of Layton and Claire was also so tragic yet so healing. Layton could finally take off his hat without feeling grief, you never would’ve known he was hurting that much. I loved Claire, she seemed like such an amazing person and I’m glad Layton wasn’t swayed to try to bring her back, although he did falter when he had to say goodbye again. Although I highly enjoyed the game, I am slightly disappointed there was no actual evil Layton. How fun would a game with evil Layton be omg. The whole game constantly caught me by surprise, even by small scenes like Beasly and PUZZLETTE. I’m still a littel confused about the lab experiments with Gumbo and subject 3, I’m not quire sure why they added that plot (and have no resolution) but I liked Gumbo fine. My favorite coin animal will always be hot dog though. I cannot recommend this series enough, I am having the time of my life. I can also see how DGS was heavily inspired by these games and im so glad about it bc dgs was game changing. I can’t believe there was a 26 year wait in between UF and NWOS but im glad to be a Layton fan :’) so fucking glad!!!!

[lieutenant-teach]

Questions to Star Wars Sequels

Rewatched the Sequel Trilogy with actual knowledge about Star Wars.

1. Why copy the planet or Rey’s origin? Why not jungles or literally anything else? I said more in another post [link].

2. Why make stormtroopers brainwashed and taken from childhood? Now it’s unfair to kill them if they didn’t have any other choice. There were words like ‘reprogramming’ – reminds of clones. I’ve always thought that stormtroopers are soldiers who believe in the cause of the Empire\First Order.

3. Give more competence for Finn! Poe pilot, Finn fighter/shooter, Rey inventive brain and hand-to-stick fighter / later Jedi. Overall give decent character arcs for main heroes – Finn loses his arc from TFA in the next movies, Poe doesn’t seem to have one, Rey’s motives to become a Jedi are unclear. Main trio doesn’t feel connected – Poe doesn’t meet Rey until the end of the second movie, unlike in the OT (what they did to the OT characters, was covered million times by others, won’t repeat). Kylo could’ve been somewhat good as a villain, but he’ll always be compared to Darth Vader and lose – he’s not so impressive at all (his fits of anger made him look pitiful in my eyes). Their romance is toxic and doesn’t have any chemistry. I ship Finnrey, I see they really care about each other.

4. Characters speak with typical action blockbuster clichés – app.15% of actually meaningful to the plot phrases throughout the whole trilogy. Makes me miss the dialogues of the Prequels. The plots in general are so dragged out – the Lego game (!) is much more dynamic.

5. Why don’t you kriffing EXPLAIN all this shit about strand-casts in the movie??? Why must I read supplementary material to understand this? When I was watching, I couldn’t understand why Snoke is so deformed for a clone, and Palpatine’s cloned ‘son’ doesn’t look like young Palps in the slightest. AND THEN I READ WOOKIEPEDIA. I want to watch a movie and understand what’s going on in it! Not go looking for info somewhere else! (Won’t comment on an utter idiocy of making Rey a Palpatine.)

6. Usage of the Force through a hologram?

7. Sudden psychometry, just like with Ahsoka – useful to the plot. Sudden healing – why did Anakin worry so much? Apparently, if you really want it, you can do it.

8. Why do we need D-O droid? He brings nothing to the plot and quite irritating!

9. Why are there lots of Sith acolytes/apprentices/disciples? Wasn’t there the Rule of Two?

I give it – ‘I’m all the Jedi’ was cool, I liked it. It’s just the build-up to this moment was unearned.

John Williams’ score was the best part of the whole trilogy.

[ordon-shield]

Animated Zelda Adaptions

With recent discussion of an animated Zelda film to follow the Mario movie, I got to thinking about ways to adapt different Zelda games into animation. While a Zelda movie wouldn’t necessarily need to be an adaption of a specific game, with the variety of styles the series has gone through over the years, they’d need to pick one to go with — so here’s my thoughts.

Zelda 1/Adventure of Link/A Link to the Past/Link’s Awakening

I’m putting these four together because I think they could all be adapted into animation the same way — based of the original official art, in the style of an 80s cartoon (just with a bit more of a budget). Each game could be a season of a TV show, expanding on the somewhat limited plot by making it episodic and using the extra time to expand on the characters and world within that format.

Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask

For these two, I think stopmotion in the style of Laika (known for Coraline & Kubo and the Two Strings) would work the best (or using 3D stylised to resemble stopmotion, like the Lego Movie). The OoT style doesn’t seem like one that would translate to 2D very well, and I think it would be fun to borrow some ideas from the Link’s Awakening remake for the Switch and have the character designs stylised so they look almost like action figures. While Ocarina of Time would have to be a movie, Majora’s Mask just wouldn’t work in that format, since the sidequests are so vital to the overall story, meaning a one season series would probably be the best way to adapt it.

Oracle of Ages/Seasons

I’ve never played these two myself, but I think going more ‘anime’ with them would work well, although it would be fun to work in the pixel art of the original games somehow. Like the other Downfall Timeline games, these ones would would work best as a TV series — maybe three seasons, one for Ages, one for Seasons, and one for the linked games ending but adding in extra story where Link travels between Holodrum and Labrynna. For an animation studio, someone suggested Toei Animation, who apparently did the animation for the LA remake.

Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass/Spirit Tracks

Wind Waker, the one that got me thinking about animated Zelda in the first place! I think this is the only Zelda game that would work with Illumination due to its more cartoony style, although other studios like DreamWorks would also work. Although if it was done in 2D, based on the official art, Cartoon Saloon would definitely pull it off. Wind Waker would work pretty well as a movie with pretty minimal changes needed to the plot, and Phantom Hourglass/Spirit Tracks could make up a Zelda trilogy.

Minish Cap/Four Swords Adventures

Leaving out the original Four Swords due to its complete lack of story — I think these two would work with a similar style to the Wind Waker trilogy, although I’d definitely prefer them to be 2D over 3D. Minish Cap would definitely work as a movie, but I’m not sure about FSA, it probably depends on how much is pulled from the manga.

Twilight Princess

Much like Ocarina of Time, I don’t think the Twilight Princess artstyle as it is would work in 2D. Based on their work like Wolfwalkers and Screecher’s Reach, I think Cartoon Saloon could definitely replicate the vibes of the original game in a more cartoony style. Alternatively, they could go full anime with this one — although it would definitely work better as something more inspired by 90s anime and its more realistic proportions.

Skyward Sword

Initially I was leaning towards Ghibli and while it would definitely work, just doesn’t feel right to me. Maybe Toei again? I’m not too familiar with Japanese animation studios, but Skyward Sword is definitely a good fit for the typical ‘anime’ look. Also I don’t think 3D would work here.

A Link Between Worlds

While technically a sequel/remake to A Link to the Past, the differences in art style make me feel that this one should have its own look — preferably 3D so the contrast with Link’s painting form is strengthened.

Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom

These ones have got to be Ghibli, there’s no question about it there. The big question is do you make them each a series, or a movie with a number of timeskips? Either one has benefits and downsides.

[nerdyvocals]

Hello again! To be honest, @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I weren't originally sure if we were going to watch Rise of Red or not, but I saw some. Interesting things on tiktok, and we decided this would be a fun excuse to get tipsy on a Saturday night (we even made themed cocktails!), and that we would have a lot of unhinged things to say. Previously, we've also watched and kept a running commentary of the first three films and the Royal Wedding short film.

That said, I know opinions on this film have been very divided, and if you're looking for high praise, you will not find it here. The movie was cute, and we had fun, but we did not have a lot of compliments, and we're still messaging each other with criticisms a week later. If you're looking for two dumbasses who give tipsy critiques (please drink responsibly) about children's movies, please, proceed under the cut!

First, an honorable mention from a few days before the watch party: Bee (after we mentioned that we both, despite not originally planning on watching Rise of Red, had avoided spoilers just in case we changed our minds): Why do I care about spoilers for an unasked-for fourth movie in a franchise I only just became interested in?

Me (reading the description): Okay, so it looks like it's Back to the Future but Disney Bee: Great! Me: Was this needed? I feel like the trilogy wrapped things up nicely

Uma: This is Auradon, the kingdom where all your favorite fairytales are true. It was formed 30 years ago when- Me: PAUSE, okay so of the few things I've seen on tiktok,

Uma: Guess who they left in charge while they're gone? Me: That seems like a bad plan Bee: I was about to say

Me: So the biggest complaint I've seen so far has been about this, where Uma says that Auradon was founded 30 years ago Bee: Right Me: I've seen people call it a plot hole because in the first movie, Mal says the kingdom was founded 20 years ago, and I don't think they ever say exactly how much time passes between any of the movies, but the reality is, and I'm gonna touch your hand when I say this, Bee: *cackling* Me: The first movie came out in 2015. It is now 2024. The first movie came out almost 10 years ago, and in fact, when you add 10 to 20, ya get 30. Bee: *still wheezing* Me: Now, I don't know if the complaints are coming from new, younger fans who just recently binged the original trilogy in preparation for this and didn't realize when the first one came out, or if they're from older fans who have lost track of time and don't want to face the math- Bee: Fuck math, man!

(Continuing from the previous conversation, after discussing character ages and determining that Uma is likely between 26-28 at this point) Bee: That's too young to be headmaster, she's a baby Me: Bee, that's fairly close to 30, that's not unreasonable. I feel ya though, I'm not an adult, I'm a baby with a drinking permit. Bee: I think I've finally surpassed baby with a drinking permit, I'm more like. Adult, reluctantly

Fairy Godmother: The queen of Hearts refused to join Auradon when we united Me: Yeah, because you would've imprisoned her???

Blonde Wonderland Guard: *appears* Me: Lucius Malfoy??? Bee: Wig Me: Starkid's A Very Potter Sequel Lucius Malfoy???

Me: Does she (Red) have a nose ring??? Bee: Oh shit, she does! Me: We finally get some edginess to character design and it's when nose rings are no longer edgy

Honorable mention: Us spending Multiple Minutes trying to figure out if Maddox was supposed to be The Mad Hatter or the son of the Mad Hatter. We ended with no answers

(About Paolo!Charming) Bee: Oh, he has only gotten hotter Me: Correct! Why does he have blue in his hair Bee: Because he's hot

Me: Imagine being this in love still after raising Chad

Cindy: We wouldn't have been able to make this great family Bee: And Chad

Cindy: *presents Chloe with the Most Hideous Shoes I have Ever Seen* Me: *chugs what's left of my drink*

Cindy: We can visit Chad at college another time Me: Chad got into college??? Bee: Nepo baby

Bee: Does anyone in this movie understand "show don't tell?" Movie: *Insert Love Ain't It, aka Exposition: the Song* Me: Nope!

Cindy and the Queen of Hearts: *share a look* Me: Ex-lovers Red and Chloe: *share a look* Me: Future lovers?

Me: JABBERWOCKY MENTION! Bee: Drink!

Me: Is that supposed to be Jasmine and Aladdin? Bee: I think so? Me: Why does Jasmine have a fuck-ass bob? What is it with Descendants and fuck-ass bobs???

Me: I'm going to get so drunk over this Bee: I think that's safet Me: ...Safet???

Me: Where are Harry and Gil? Bee: On their honeymoon

(During the What's My Name? reprise) Bee: ...I need to take another drink Me: Same Bee: My drink is almost gone, I'm so sad Me: Do what I did, make another Bee: I will after this dork-ass song

Uma: Do you mind? Queen: I think I do Me: *pausing* Do you want to make a second drink real quick before things get cringier? Bee: ...I think that's a good idea

Me: I think I don't hate the silhouette of the Queen of Hearts' look, but it's way too monochromatic Bee: Drink! You're right though, there's no dimension

*Wand Breaks* Me: OH SHIT Bee: You could do that this whole time???

Cindy: Stop it, Bridget, you're better than this! Me: Is she? Bee: I don't think she is

Aladdin: Look at her, she's enjoying this! Me: Yeah, she's a teenager experiencing parental affection for the first time. Y'all really learned nothing, huh? Bee: You'd think after ten years they'd get their shit together

(As Cinderella is being led away) Bee: I love her poofs Me: God, me too, I love puff sleeves Bee: We are both just Anne Shirley

Fairy Godmother: *is young* Me. She looks so much like Jane Bee: For a second there, I thought that just straight up was Jane Me: Brilliant casting

Me: Why are their clothes so modern if this is supposed to be over thirty years ago

Me: This princess insult doesn't work if you're both princesses

Red and Chloe: *forehead touch* Me: Gay Bee: Kiss

(After Fight of Our Lives) Bee: I feel like this didn't need to be a song Me: We could've just had a homoerotic sword fight à la The Princess Bride

Me: Ahhh, that's why everyone is dressed so modern, so they can blend in without a costume change! That's so lazy!

Bee: He (Merlin) pulls a lit Molotov cocktail from his bag

(Alchemy Class) Bee: ...The hap is fuckening

Red: *eats a cupcake* Bee: These falsies are really gonna help me do alchemy!!!

Bridget: It's Jasmine and Aladdin! J&A: Call us Jaladdin! Me: I will not be doing that Bee: *choking* WHAT THE FUCK

Morgie: Son of Morgana! Me: See, Morgana has a kid already, but gee, why wouldn't Disney want children Googling Mordred? Bee: Hehehe

Uliana: TELL BRIDGET I WILL DESTROY HER Me: See, girl, she did warn you Bee: Why are Jaladdin going with?

Ella: Will you go to castlecoming with me? Me: OH Bee: GAY Me: So it wasn't a prank that turned her evil, it was that her girlfriend ditched her for a boy, Us, simultaneously: IT'S GIVING GOOD LUCK BABE

(In the Tremaine Manor) Me: Oooh, this kid is about to learn what parental abuse is

Bee: I need them to try and fix it and then have to go back again because they accidentally turn Cinderella evil Me: That's what the fifth movie is about, actually

Uliana's Hideout: *emerging from the water* Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Bee: "Can-I-Have-A-Cigarette" lookin' ass Me: *WHEEZE*

(During Perfect Revenge) Bee: Kenny Ortega, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you when I had you

(It was at this point, when Uliana was hanging by her tentacles, that Bee's husband entered to check on us) [Husband]: ...What in the Doc Ock

Me: Ooooh, that last sip hit, I think I've made it to drunk Bee: Oh boy! Me: I'm so glad I don;t have to be anywhere tomorrow Bee: Drink some water Me: Water is for weaklings! Bee: I don't get hangovers anymore because I hydrate while I drink Me: I don't get hangovers because I'm 22 Bee: Suck my dick, Levi Me: I don't think [Husband] would appreciate that Bee: [HUSBAND], CAN LEVI SUCK MY DICK?! [Husband], distantly: I don't know how to respond to that??? Me: *falling off the couch crying laughing*

Bridget: *talking about her Shuffle of Love dance* Me: If not going on date, why worried about love, I am drunk Bee: No, you're correct

Bridget: If I was your mom, I'd love to have a daughter that thinks for herself Me: BOY WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET HIT IN THE MOMMY ISSUES

Bee: Oh, pretty boy (Paolo!Charming) is back! Also I stood up and I too am now drunk

(After some line about valiant knights being always good) Me: Have you heard of Lancelot? Bee: I was about to say

(During the Hands Dirty sequence) Me: This is a song from a better movie Bee: Not again

Bee: I simply do not believe that Cinderella would let her daughter grow up that dumb as hell. I do, however, believe that Prince Charming would let his daughter grow up that dumb as hell Me: have you met Chad? Bee: That's fair, actually. Chad's adopted Me: Who's goddamn white baby is that? Bee: Who's goddamn white baby is that!

Me: Pause! So here, funnily enough, is a perfect example of what my mentor calls "Disney Patches:"

Bee: Drink! Me: So what they're trying to do here is show that Ella has to wear her clothes to the bone and patches them herself. When you add patches to garments to make them look like they've been repaired, you need to make sure the placement makes sense, as in think about where clothes would likely wear to holes: for pants, that's gonna be mainly knees and inner thigh. Disney has a habit of just putting patches wherever in places they just wouldn't be, like here. Why does she have patches in random places on her leg? Bee: Ohhh Me: In some cases in can be a stylistic choice, but I would argue that Ella wouldn't be the type to waste that much fabric for no reason. I can forgive the pockets though, I've had pants that got holes in the pockets, and sometimes it's easier to replace them than to patch

(A shot of Headmaster Merlin's Door) Bee: Hmmm, Merlin Me: ...Headmaster Merlin Bee: hmmmmmmmm, Merlin

Bee, completely deadpan: Hoot hoot, motherfuckers

Me: The Night Falls scene fell flat on its face so this scene could feebly crawl

Me: It has only just occurred to me that Chloe's shoes were supposed to be glass this whole time, I thought they were just fucky Doc Martens Bee: Yeah! Put the uh. The ug. Put the ugly in uggs Me: I think you need to drink more water Bee: I think you're right

Me: They're red and blue gays Bee: They're red and blue gays!

Me: Fuck whatever this movie is supposed to be about, I need them to kiss

Bee: Obsessed with his (Merlin's) coat, costume department popped the fuck off with that Me: That's my line Bee: Drink bitch!

Me: Wait, is that the end? Bee: It can't be, there's no way that worked Me: There's only ten minutes left???

Uma: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Me: FUCK OFF

Bee: I am deadass on Reddit Me: *dying* Bee: Trying to figure out what the fuck

Bee: Where was the climax??? Was it supposed to be that thing in Merlin's office? Me: It can't have been Bee: If it was it fell so flat. I feel like I've sobered up watching that

[nevermindirah]

Booker vibes hard with scifi. he has so many visceral sense-memories of reading early scifi novels as the genre developed in his first decades of immortality. all the dystopia speaks to him for obvious being God's chew toy reasons, but there are times over the years when hopeful scifi stories boost him emotionally in a way no amount of good deeds or warm hugs seem to manage.

so by the time he gets stoned and goes to the movies in 1977, he's ready.

he falls hard for Han/Leia. he too was a scoundrel who fell in love with the coolest and smartest girl around who somehow found his scruffiness charming. he too came of age and put down roots amid galaxy-shaking political and social upheaval. but Star Wars was so safely cartoony in its far-away galaxy that he found he could earnestly enjoy how hopeful it was.

over the years he tore through the novels, he picked up fan magazines here and there, stopped by the occasional con. when he discovered fanfiction, hoo boy. he wrote over 100k of Han and Leia's snarky, sappy, smutty, blaster-heavy post-RotJ adventures in like the first month alone.

decades later, he very nearly had to leave the theater when Kylo Ren killed his father.

some of those same decades later, Nile. she's only 5 years old when Episode I comes out and by the time she's old enough to sit through all-ages blockbusters the prequels have been so ragged on that she doesn't bother. maybe she catches some of the original trilogy on cable at some point but she doesn't particularly connect to it.

Star Wars becomes relevant to Nile when she's in her figuring things out after high school era and she hears the guy from Attack the Block is gonna be in the new trilogy.

rip Finn's character arc and everything else that could've been so good about the sequel trilogy, but there's still some stuff to treasure there, and Nile — well.

a few months into immortality she does a marathon of the whole Skywalker saga. it's fun and silly and a way to spend a few days. the others pop in sometimes to watch with her but for the most part she's enjoying her own private screening. then she sees Rey all alone in that AT-AT carcass and suddenly she can't stop crying. Finn's storyline is just as wonderful and frustrating as she remembered, but the way he and Rey keep finding each other, keep fighting for each other — yeah.

suddenly she's WRITING. she's usually been drawn to visual arts when she has the time and interest to create, but here she is now, writing tens of thousands of words at a time, pouring her heart out through these two space orphans who have living family they just can't get back to and through a lot of galactic bullshit manage to build a new home in each other.

she starts getting regular comments from an ao3 account with a hilarious mishmash of works in a bunch of different fandoms going back years. there's some original trilogy fic on this person's account all dated the same day in 2009, and when she reads one, an intricately plotted and super romantic Han/Leia mission fic, she notices details that make it seem like it was written before the prequels came out.

the comments get longer. she and her commenter start chatting on discord, about their blorbos and fandom drama and increasingly just life. to the extent that Nile can tell anyone about her life, that is. it's nice, having an online friend.

then one day Booker fucks up. he lets a too-specific detail slip. Nile laughs in disbelief, types into discord "hey uh if I'm right about something, pick up your phone," and then she calls him.

years later, Booker will finally admit he did a little hacking to double-check it was her before dropping that purposeful slip. then he'll write Nile a lightning-hot fic where Finn introduces Rey to holonet cybersex.

[eriexplosion]

5 6 7 10 for Star Wars violence 👀

OKAY TIME FOR THE VIOLENCE (I don't know how actually violent these opinions are but pretend I am Very Vicious)

5. Worst blorboficiation?

sdfsdifj REGRETTABLY... OBI-WAN.... I love the man but fandom characterizations definitely show some Popular Guy Character Syndrome where it's all about how sad and tormented he is and while I respect that as a lover of tormented men, it is certainly an experience when you're like, reading a CodyWan fic and Cody is comforting Obi-Wan through his tragic past like he's never gone through anything difficult in his life. Also some of Obi-Wan's fun edges are sanded off, he's more generically sassy but considerate of others feelings and kind, etc, and like. He's not UNkind. But this is a man that faked his death and did not tell his emotionally unstable best friend like that was going to do anything but drive Anakin absolutely batshit insane. He watched like ten clones in a row die without a reaction and then the instant a Jedi died they all had to stop for a funeral. He tried to get Luke to kill Vader WITHOUT telling him who he was. He's kind of an idiot and can be kind of an asshole. Let him hurt people's feelings! Let him be socially inept! He is a dipshit not a harmless weep blob!

(This ties in with my desire to see CodyWan fic where they straight up get in a fight but is not ENTIRELY connected to that)

6. Opinion on canon and/or fanon use of the secret child trope? Discuss.

It works for Luke and Leia and I think it should have stayed at that. I'm not a big fan of the Palpatine reveal for Rey but I didn't want her to be a Skywalker either, sometimes you want a main that is Just Some Guy, doesn't need to be a secret child of anyone. In fanon I just REALLY do not like it, partially because it's plugging in a blood relation where it doesn't need to be. The other part is that I have mostly seen it for Obi-Wan and Satine with that Korkie kid and with how utterly repressed those two are at each other I refuse to believe they ever successfully fucked.

7. What is the weakest piece of canon writing?

It feels like cheating to say the sequel trilogy mostly because I never finished it so a thing that I definitely finished and loved but makes no sense - AOC is not the strongest movie but ROTS was like, fully just a series of cool scenes stitched together to approximate a movie. And don't get me wrong, I adore the prequels. But the only one that I think succeeds as a Movie is TPM. ANAKIN'S FALL ESPECIALLY IS NONSENSICAL AS SHIT. Like the underlying motivations are there but they were not pieced into anything resembling a coherent narrative. You have a start point, an end point, and everything in between just kind of jumps around with I think the weakest point being the Tusken Massacre - it's treated more like a sign of Anakin's potential darkness than anything when like. That's a whole village. He killed a whole village and it never comes up again! Lucas apparently didn't consider it that big a deal!

It's to a point where I actually think the massacre can't be addressed from a fully in universe perspective, because there's no actual way to twist it around so that it makes sense for that not to be enough to Make Anakin Fall without breaking the already very loose rules of the universe. Most other Star Wars points I can figure out some kind of justification for how it works in world, but to explain how Anakin wouldn't fall here you just have to kind of confront that Lucas is both not a very good writer and also approached the Tuskens with an incredibly racist viewpoint given that he doesn't appear to see their deaths as fully Counting, unlike the Jedi younglings in ROTS. It's a plot choice that, if treated with the full weight it would narratively deserve, completely unravels the entire rest of the series, the only way to make the storyline of everything else WORK is to take it out or change it so much as to be an entirely different scenario, and I can't think of any other things that fuck it up THAT bad.

10. What’s a ship you've unwillingly come around to?

I think 'unwillingly' is overstating it (but then I rarely DISLIKE a ship, so there's usually not much Unwillingly about it) but I thought Tech/Phee was cute at most until everyone started being Like That about them. Now I want them to kiss and get married onscreen. I hope that she hits that every night. Phee deserves whatever she wants.

Also Anakin/Padme probably counts because I did not actually go into the clone wars watch WANTING to love Anakin but Whoops. WHOOPS. So that meant I got An Affection for the two of them in all their messy stupid as shit glory.

[agentnico]

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024) review

Apes without Caesar are not strong!

Plot: Many years after the reign of Caesar, a young ape goes on a journey that will lead him to question everything he's been taught about the past and make choices that will define a future for apes and humans alike.

The Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy is genuinely a solid collection of well made films. Rise, Dawn and War of the Planet of the Apes are a perfect example of how tell an enticing science fiction story, with truly incredible life-like visuals and really thought provoking. And of course Andy Serkis’ lead mo-cap performance of the ape Caesar is truly phenomenal and his messiah-reflective character arc is really investing to behold. Mind you these films put Matt Reeves and Michael Giacchino on the map - one a successful director and another an accomplished film composer. That being said, War for the Planet of the Apes felt like a proper finale to the Caesar story, and though it did leave room for possible continuation, I felt satisfied with the way it ended. But naturally these films are money-makers so it was only a matter of time before the Hollywood sequel machine did its thing and another movie came to me. Enter Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.

Brought to us by Wes Ball, who’s most known for directing those Maze Runner films, arguably the last of the 2010’s YA movie trend. And like the Maze Runner movies are fine. They were okay for what they were but nothing special, and nothing that gave indication that Wes Ball was gonna be the next big thing. And with Kingdom, though there are some wonderful shifts and the apes design by Weta once again is a stand-out, this movie’s look didn’t impress me as much as the previous films. Again, solid visuals, but not groundbreaking. With the Andy Serkis apes movies, every new entry of that trilogy felt like a step-up visually from the previous, with War honestly looking scarily realistic, making me wonder if Serkis simply underwent heavy surgery to make himself look like an ape. You know, similar to that young Frenchman on Instagram who went viral for undergoing extreme body modification procedures to make himself look like an alien. Honestly, I’m not even kidding, this guy exists - look it up! Regardless, in Kingdom we don’t see that visual progression. Again it looks good, but it didn’t flabbergast me in its realism.

Biggest issue though is the script. The first half of this movie truly was boring! The pacing was off, and aside from the main new hero ape all the characters weren’t at all that interesting and there’s no one I cared about. As for the story itself, it feels like a lesser retread of the same ideas and themes of the previous trilogy. There's nothing really new here. You've already seen a better version of this movie before. The second half does ramp it up a little and there’s a little more energy and a sense of direction, but again it feels like walking on familiar territory. The main antagonist could have been really cool, played by the way by that buff Elon Musk lookalike who was in Abigail earlier this year. The idea of a cult-like warlord obsessed with human history, there's so much they could have done with that idea. But he simply doesn't have enough scenes to really make him anything more than Koba Part II. And Koba had better motivations and more complexity.

Oh, and the music score is pretty generic and forgettable. Really disappointing, because I loved the music from the other movies. Caesar's theme is so good. Nothing here comes close. I’m not going to lie Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes does not inspire confidence in these movies continuing without Caesar’s presence. I mean his shadow is all over this movie, but it only makes you miss the times he was there. This isn’t necessarily a bad movie, it’s just a massive downgrade from what this franchise used to achieve. Oh, and by the way the deus ex machina eagles from Lord of the Rings have come over to the apes to save the day this time, and look I’m the last person to bash on Lord of the Rings, but those eagles just swooping in to save the characters whenever Tolkien got stuck out of ideas was the one ultimate convenient get-out-of-jail-free card and it’s not something I wished for other franchises to copy. So shame on you Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, shame on you!

Overall score: 4/10