#Remote Trauma
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Anyway I wish this show was actually bold enough to give Miguel an arc exploring his feelings of entitlement over the captaincy spot. Throughout the show Johnny has repeatedly told Miguel that Robby is a lost cause but hey, It’s okay because he has Miguel now. That Miguel’s his champion, his Number One Boy. So how could Miguel not feel at least somewhat entitled to the captain spot? How could he not feel insecure about his place in Johnny’s life with Robby not just back in the picture, but now literally taking the number one spot? When Johnny has repeatedly put into both kids heads that when it comes to his love and attention its one vs. the other, how could there be no lingering feelings of resentment and jealousy?
#like my kingdom for them to let miguel have Real Actual Feelings about anything ever!#i dont have any real hopes of them actually exploring this#i think any frustration miguel feels towards robbys will be framed solely in the context of him being stressed about getting into stanford#which is also like. i wish this show would show us WHY miguel cares so much about stanford#and its not like its not understandable!#people talk about robbys trauma bc its so plainly obvious#but after the year or two miguels had it makes sense that he wants a real tangible Win#that he wouldn’t want all the pain and trauma to be for nothing. that he can spin it as a triumphant story of how he overcame#some extreme adversity to get into one of the top schools in the country#but the show hasnt actually shown us that miguel feels that way at all#and i dont need them to spell it all out for me hut man it would be nice to give us SOMETHING. literally anything even remotely close to an#actual arc for Miguel before the show ends#and like none of this is miguel or johnny or robby hate btw…characters are flawed and thats a good thing#i just wish the show would actually explore the impact of those flaws on the people around them#and also jealousy is a very normal feeling as is competition in sports#but it would be cool if the explored how that is compounded by everything johnny has put these kids through and the way he has constantly#even if unintentionally positioned them against each other#but anyway!#cobra kai#miguel diaz#robby keene
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Abso-fucking-lutely vibing with World's Finest: Teen Titans' addition of Karen as one of the founding members.
Because good fucking god, before this the team was two demigods, two billionaire teens and a Normal Kid™ in neon yellow BUT NOW?! Now it's two demigods, two billionaire teens and TWO Normal Kids™ in neon yellow!
No but seriously though Wally is the only one who has to like... mow the lawn and watch his neighbor's cat when they go away for the long weekend. He's the only one who knows how to mail a letter at the post office and how much pencils cost at a book fair. He's got superpowers and terrible parents and yet somehow he is the MOST NORMAL ONE THERE.
Which speaks volumes about the rest of them tbh.
But now!!! Karen and Wally get to be nerds ✨together✨ and they get free tickets to watch the trainwrecks that the other Teen Titans call life
Seriously though I think these two are aggressively trying to be friends with each other while also roleplaying their 'cool guy' hero personas, which is extremely funny to me. These two are absolute nerds with no friends in school and they are DESPERATE for a friend and they've just met but they've both decided "Yeah that one. That one is friend shaped"
Wally: you move too slow
Karen: learn how to fly dumbass
Anyway I love them
#this is really fun because its like the og titans series where Wally took one look at Mal and was like :O NEW BEST FRIEND#(important to note that mal was a random ass civilian and not even remotely a hero and Wally offered him a spot on the titans right there)#but Karen joined before Mal here and instead of Wally glomming on THEY'VE BOTH GLOMMED ON#TO EACH OTHER#anyway i just think that's beautiful#go off you beautiful neon yellow bastard children. you have terrible homes lives and too much trauma but i hope you have fun being silly#they deserve to be silly together#and maybe they should both go to therapy. not together just in general. i think theyd both benefit#like absolute vibes that they have panic attacks with each other. i stan that they trust each other#but also. therapy queens. pls go#dc#dc comics#the flash#kid flash#wally west#karen beecher#bumblebee#worlds finest teen titans#teen titans#titans
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I think the most significant metaphor in I Saw the TV Glow, if only in my interpretation, was the fucking inhaler. It's the device that gives enough temporary relief from the suffocation of being buried alive and not even knowing something's wrong, not by temporarily making it not wrong but by making you not notice that specific problem. It's still there, you're still suffocating and crushed under the ground dying alone and with your actual self torn out of you, while the fake version of you huffs the inhaler again and again with growing despair because it never addressed the problem, you were just told it would fix what was wrong
#Sorry this is quite disjointed#That fucking movie#I saw the TV glow#Really think it suffered from not having the metaphors better handled?#Not that there's no metaphorical elements (ofc that's not the case there's TONS!) but that what is a metaphor isn't always clear?#Personally? They landed#But I can see how even to other transfems who had similar or even identical experiences to mine this would fail at it's aim#I don't think it did - but then that's opinion#It didn't work because of the metaphors - it worked because the details were designed to make you feel something specific#And that exact discomfort (if perfectly communicated) is not a remotely universal experience#Honestly? I wish it didn't work#I wish I'd been bored or even pissed off by it#That's much easier to regulate emotionally than being flayed and having the threads of trauma fed into a projector#Believe it or not this is the condensed not-rambling post xD#Originally this was WAAAAAAAAAY worse ^^
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The couple Wolverine x Deadpool
I would like to read a fanfiction one day that explores the traumas of both characters in their relationship.
Here are a few ideas =
Wolverine's trauma from the movie: having killed innocents, the death of the X-Men (he may also be traumatized by the experiments done on him)
Deadpool's traumas: the death of Vanessa (he might also be traumatized by the experiments done on him) + Consequence of the break up with Vanessa : perhaps with a fear of abandonment, etc…
Maybe one of the characters could have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), nightmares, insomnia, and the other would help them with it.
I think they are the kind of couple that, even though both partners may not be the healthiest (without being the most toxic, maybe I’m wrong), together they improve and become better.
Let me know your ideas; I would be curious to read them :D
#poolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#wolverpool#wade wilson#deadpool movie#logan wolverine#gay men#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#writers on tumblr#writterscommunity#I love characters who explore trauma#sorry not even remotely sorry#sorry not sorry#deadclaws#deadpool tdah#james logan howlett#logan howlett#james howlett#the wolverine
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Super indulgent too. The previous asks have awakened something feral.
But, what if Amity & Lilith do manage to get away with Hunter before Belos also offs him??? And maybe Luz stays longer in the in between with Papa Titan as they come up with a plan to destroy Belos. In that time, Belos brands Hunter, Amity, and Lilith as traitors and accuse them of having killed the princess. Then, Luz comes back epic style with titan powers, obliterates Belos, and takes back the throne. Now a grief stricken Hunter/Amity/Lilith see Luz with kickass titan powers and don’t think it’s her because OBVIOUSLY she died and they did see her dead. It’s only when she ends up saying something that only Hunter can know that they’re convinced and all like wtf happened. While at the same time Luz doesn’t want to reveal the grimwalker secret and Hunter can only keep guessing what happened to her while with Belos.
WOOOOO yeah sure. we can leave the characters crazed with grief for a little longer :)
the initial question is "where would they go," but given that lilith is with them, i think the Clear Answer is the owl house.
really i think the biggest obstacle here wouldn't even be the empire, it would just be hunter himself. he'd want to drag himself back to the castle and finish what he started. aka get himself killed. he has no expectation that he can Actually kill belos
i was trying to figure out what, if anything, could dissuade him from this path. and my main thought is that after a lot of exasperation on lilith's part and being corralled on hooty's, amity finally shouts, "she FUCKING DIED FOR YOU and you're just going to THROW IT AWAY???"
amity's sense of righteous fury is So Strong here. SHE wouldn't throw away a sacrifice like that. or at least she likes to think she wouldn't. that hunter doesn't seem to Care what luz did just makes the entire thing seem even more senseless.
and hunter just kind of. shatters. sinks onto the floor with his head in his hands like, "i can't do this, blight. i get it, i do, i'm hearing you, you think i have options but i'm telling you, i Can't Do This. i Have to keep moving or i--"
and then amity summons a weighted abomination blanket and goes over and wraps it around him. and he doesn't fight her or snap at her. despite his apparent determination not to stay still for more than, like, thirty seconds at a time.
& amity is just like, "okay. you can't do this. i hear you. but, also. you're Gonna Have To."
#amity is not even REMOTELY equipped to deal with this but hey. at least making hunter suffer is already her MO. she doesnt feel bad <-lying#and luz would be Extremely Fucking Grateful for it.#woooooo make everyone miserable ASMR.....#replies#toh#princess luz au#princess luz au titan timeline#and who is that other witch#horrible mindscape trauma pals#shitty idiot repression gang#hunter toh#amity blight#grief#angst#suicidal ideation#temporary character death
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I really like your content but a lot of the things you say do come across as ableist to me, especially in posts where you're angry— like you're judging someone for making their "entire online presence and personality about DID" even though it's an identity disorder, isn't that the whole point of the disorder?? It's a massive part of peoples lives, though you probably already know that
I get being angry but it's just sad to see one disabled person judge another disabled person for making a blog dedicated to their disability. Surely you would understand the need to do so?
I guess I'm mainly bringing this up because I personally dedicate blogs to my DID and it feels a bit like an attack on me as well, though I understand you were likely only targeting one person your words have bounced out and hit other people and I wish for clarification on your thoughts. Do you genuinely think it's bad to have blogs dedicated to disabilities / disorders or were you just angry?
((sorry if this doesn't make much sense, or if it feels like I'm taking things too personally))
literally nobody said you can’t blog about your disabilities. me telling you to stop armchair undiagnosing me and telling you to stop fucking wailing and screaming at me because I don’t want to be called “singlet” because I’m not one is not me telling you to stop blogging about DID.
I simply think it’s fucking hilarious if you make your entire online presence about your DID and how special and important it makes you to only turn around screaming “YOURE INSANE!!!!!!!!” and “YOURE FAKING!!!!” and “YOU DONT HAVE DID I HAVE DID AND I DISAGREE!!!!!” like I’m supposed to give a fuck what you think of MY BRAIN because you have a fucking blog about YOUR DID
If you’re offended by me telling you to stop literally fakeclaiming me then fucking unfollow me. I don’t owe you infinite compassion and mercy and understanding while you’re stomping and crying and throwing a fucking tantrum about how much of an evil liar faker I am. I don’t fucking care
#ableism#just call me a neurotypical stop filling my inbox with this dog shit#clearly you don’t think anyone except you is allowed to have any diagnosis remotely similar to yours#you’re the most important and the most special and the most valid system ever and I’m literally just taking to hurt you CLEARLY lmao#someone who literally can’t cope with posts on a blog: sorry you don’t count as traumatized enough cuz I said so!!!!! real trauma happens -#-to ME and everyone else is a evil neurotypical liar!!!!!
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"we want less sanitized representation of mental illness" you folks couldn't even handle Hades of Hades video game and think that Zagreus and Persephone not hating him forever is basically like unconditionally forgiving him
#hades game#hades game spoilers#the devs really said “trauma doesn't make all people aesthetically sad. It can make people be quite shitty actually”#just for people to immediately go “YEAH and someone in that situation doesn't deserve any remotely positive ending#otherwise I am interpreting that as guilt tripping me to forgive everyone who's mistreated me“#Hades' nectar sequence also reads to me like a commentary on how the “tsundere” behavior is incredibly frustrating to deal with irl#but too many people skimmed it just to fawn over Thanatos which is why I dislike majority of the fandom
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the 14 year old edgelord in me keeps trying to compose deep poetry about coming to after dissociating. calm down babes. we’re all good here.
#blue chatter#just. the experience of blinking into existence becoming associated with ice in my mouth#and how it’s becoming a pattern that the first visual thing I process is a hand in front of my face#At least that I remember. I’m sure other stuff happens but my memory is unsurprisingly v blurry after#I feel bad for making my roommate take care of me so often#but I super cannot control when I dissociate#and I do genuinely need the help#bc today I was home alone and it took a loooooot longer to break out of the blurry stage#I somehow didn’t think to get ice about it until I was in the middle of the grocery store an hour after the episode had ended#I want to be more independent about this so people don’t have to take care of me all the time#it is relieving to know that I can live with friends after grad school#so *someone* can be around usually if something goes wrong and I’m not cognizant enough to help myself#but I don’t wanna make them feel like they have to help me or put that on them#or like. freak out their kids. their kids are not raised remotely like I was and they’re rly young so they don’t rly understand this.#how do you explain trauma to a three year old whose parents are incredibly good at gentle parenting#idk. I’ll figure it out. hopefully with time and therapy I’ll be able to process my trauma enough that I won’t be like this forever.#I don’t wanna be like this forever.#I want to go to grad school and start practicing in clinical psychology and help people#and be independent and be able to support my friends instead of the other way around
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Immortality, Motherhood, and Pain: A Closer Look at Annalise and the Doll
Finally revisiting this from ages ago, because the parallels between these two are just SO fascinating. Content warnings for discussions of misogyny, genocide, abuse, and pregnancy/childbirth.
This analysis will cover the parallels between Miss Doll and Queen Annalise through the lenses of the misery of immortality, the trauma of marginalization, and the liberation they find in motherhood. Both the Doll and Annalise are undying, both coded as mother figures, both marked by death, and both very, very alone.
Miss doll and Annalise are the only characters in the whole game who are undying. You can kill them, but not meaningfully - not in any way that matters - and they seem to know it. Neither will try to stop you, nor will they fight back, should you choose to attack them. They will come back, and your violent betrayal will have seemingly meant nothing to them. They both are very aware they will outlast whatever violence you may inflict upon them. It's evidenced in their dialogue:
If you attack, Annalise says:
“Enough. If only Our life was so easily forfeit… Grieve not, for Us.” “How sad this is. If only Our life was so easily forfeit…”
If you attack Miss Doll, she used to say:
“I must have displeased you. Go on, shut me down… Even so, this vessel will remain in your service… So have no fear."
I think this point of comparison highlights just how deeply they've both been desensitized to violence and abuse. They do not beg for mercy, they do not put up a struggle - they only remark on it with distant chagrin. They both seem keenly aware that their flesh need not be in one piece to fulfill its purpose.
But where Miss Doll was made to embody the Victorian patriarchal ideal of womanhood, Annalise wields womanhood as her last weapon against the dehumanization of the church’s genocide through her queendom. Upon being resurrected the next time you return to the dream, Miss Doll will act as though nothing had happened at all. However, if you bring her flesh to the Altar of Despair, Annalise will call you an arrant fool, and remind you that “Vileblood or no, forget not; We are thy Queen”. Miss Doll kneels to serve the hunter, while the hunter must kneel to serve Annalise. Miss Doll has been conditioned to passively accept dehumanization and submission, yet Annalise demands respect through your submission even in her dehumanized state. Miss Doll is subjugated by the trappings of womanhood, while Annalise is lifted from subjugation by her womanhood, in some ways.
I find this fascinating, however, because while Miss Doll appears in every way as a pure, demure Victorian woman was meant to, they are also dehumanized through the denial of gender. To Gerhman, their creator, they are nothing more than another tool of the workshop. An object. Even the Doll themself uses neutral "I" pronouns to refer to themself in the original translation. I think it is pertinent to note that the only canonical reference to Miss Doll as a "woman" comes from Eileen. In the original Japanese text, she refers to the Doll with a term of endearment reserved for young girls. Miss Doll's appearance is the historical ideal of the subjugated woman - yet when Eileen confers upon her the status of "woman", she does so in an endearing and humanizing way. Therefore, for both Miss Doll and Queen Annalise, the status of womanhood is a rebuttal of their own dehumanizing subjugation: Annalise as "queen", and Miss Doll as "daughter".
Both characters are arguably seeking/find liberation through motherhood. Miss Doll gets "Childhood's Beginning": their creator and animator have both been put down, the hunt is finally over and they are no longer bound to serve its participants, nor must they watch their beheadings. They cradle the newly ascended hunter. It is a highly atypical “motherhood”. It exists in the performance of the role rather than the biology of childbirth. In the same way, the Doll possesses a highly atypical “womanhood” which exists in performance alone, rather than in biology or even identity — but nonetheless, it is real, and it is hers. I, perhaps too optimistically, choose read it as humanizing for them; because unlike their “womanhood”, Miss Doll is allowed to choose this for themself rather than having it imposed upon them.
In the same vein, Annalise seeks to birth a child of blood for a similar but perhaps more somber reason. She wants a child because she wants an heir — which is to say, because it is the only way she may once again have kin. Because it is the only way she may fulfill her duty as Queen. She witnessed everyone she ever knew or loved — surely her own family included — slaughtered before her eyes. Annalise seems to seek motherhood in order to be a homemaker - in the most literal sense possible. She wants to rebuild the community, the home, which was so brutally torn away from her. She wishes to restore honor to Cainhurst. For Annalise, having a child is an open act of rebellion against the genocidal eugenics-frenzied bloodthirst of the Church. I can't help but wonder if part of the reason Alfred is so hellbet on destroying her, why the Executioners imprisoned her the way they did, was to strip her of bodily autonomy so she couldn’t “reproduce”. Her desire for a child is her way of seeking liberation for her and her people.
In this sense, taking up the role of a mother, of "women's work", is what confers the agency upon both Annalise and Miss Doll which had been otherwise stripped from them. Annalise's by the genocidal eugenics of the Church, and Miss Doll by the pact of servitude she was seemingly born into.
#percy theoryposts :)#i'm aware this is a generous interpretation#miss doll#bloodborne is very much about womanhood and the trauma it brings but i think its a stretch to say that message is executed perfectly#the few fem-presenting characters who get hopeful endings do so by escaping/trying to escape a cycle of violence#but it also involves taking on very traditionally feminine roles which have historically been subjugating in and of themselves#so you kind of have to take from that what you will#but at least the pattern seems to be that those roles are liberating and powerful when they are CHOSEN rather than forced#ie: arianna is FORCED to become a mother#and this is not remotely empowering to her#i think it comes down to the concept of socialization though: the doll CHOOSES to become a “mother” in the symbolism of the game#but they also have been conditioned their whole life to know nothing but serving others#so its....................... iffy#i also dont know if i'm certain this was Intentional on the part of fromsoft. bc especially in elden ring they dropped the ball slightly im#but its MY interpretation god damn it#plain doll#bloodborne#queen annalise#annalise queen of the vilebloods
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You’ve got your mother’s eye and temper too
#my recent posts kinda been flopping idk why. This was mad fun to draw though#I think demo prides himself on being like his dad (who’s died and he places on a pedestal)#and any suggestion he acts even remotely like his mother gets him stupid defensive#thing is nothing else’s truer he’s like a carbon copy of her. Tragedy of heredity yaddi yadda inherited trauma blah blah#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2 demoman#quotidianish#tf2 art#art#artworm
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acting like it's not traumatic to hear about atrocities you cant stop and see dying people you can't help every day is fucking insane actually
#spire rambles#i mean. fine. to be fair. maybe those posts arent supposed to apply to me (literal actual high schooler).#however. jesus fucking christ good lord. good god.#'shut up it's not like anything happened to YOU.' can i fucking kill you. god.#'feeling guilty over your privilege isnt trauma' YOU DO NOT FUCKING KNOW HOW GENUINELY TRAUMATIC GUILT IS. YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW#'you shouldnt make it about you other people are suffering more' oh and now youre making me feel guilty about feeling guilty. sweet!#youre no better than a 'starving children in africa' parent and also you sound catholic#'you SHOULD feel guilty and awful and horrible but if you even remotely ACT LIKE youre under a lot of stress or god forbid TALK ABOUT IT#in a way that implies you would rather NOT FEEL AWFUL you are a MORALLY BANKRUPT EVIL PERSON'#you sound catholic. you literally sound catholic
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#the twitter girlies are mad that people are pointing out that a huge aspect of armand/lestat is that lestat looks like marius#'reducing armand's relationship to lestat like that is an injustice to his character' is it though??#because it's true#not only do lestat and marius look alike#but they exude the specific kind of energy that has heads turning that has people wanting to listen to them that has people listening to th#*them#and lestat getting armand out of the children of darkness cult#(even if he didn't actually give a fuck about getting armand specifically out)#is completely reminiscent to armand of marius 'rescuing' him from the brothels#and teaching him philosophies of life and how to live and introducing him to purpose and meaning#the difference is that marius wanted armand and had him#and lestat clocks armand so fast and is like 'absolutely not'#and not only absolutely not but acknowledges that whatever darkness resides in armand would kill lestat with its horror and depth#and this is why i can't take anyone seriously#people comparing louis to marius (not remotely similar in ANY aspect)#people that think armand's love for lestat isn't more of a trauma response than anything else#and frankly this is why i do not believe whatsoever that armand and lestat hooked up in the show world#because lestat will not would not could not#and that's a huge part of lestat's character tbh#and a huge thing that DOES separate him from marius
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No matter how much trauma you have experienced, you never have the right to inflict that trauma on others.
#zhuixing posts#this is about palestine#but also about the way people view victimhood in general#which leads people to side with an apartheid state because of the argument that jewish people can only be perpetual victims#and the fear to call out israel's atrocities or to assert that a genocide is being committed by israel#atrocities cannot be excused no matter who the perpetrator is and no matter who the victim is#it doesn't matter how much generational trauma there may be#slaughtering thousands of innocent people and CHILDREN is *still exactly what it is*#there is no universe where this is remotely okay#i'm honestly without words about how horrible this is#even if the bombings and the destruction and the massacre wasn't going on#it would still be unacceptable to force people out of their homelands for another group's 'greater good'#the amount of trauma being caused every day is horrific#when did 'never again' become specific to one single group of people#why are some people considered more 'human' than others#what the hell is this world
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Thanks so much @goblins-riddles-or-frocks for tagging me!
I tag: @iceandbone @ferretfyre @jabberwocky1996 @nightcrawler-fan
#not a slightly sane or remotely moral mofo to be seen#if you're wondering 'tf are any of these????' don't worry i suspect 97% of the population feels the same#does no one knowing who these mofos are defeat the purpose of a poll? yes#but did i pick them all partly because of how unknown they are? also yes#blame my brother i'd be watching normal media like the cool kids if he hadn't introduced me to all these freak films#coulda had a nice normal mcu/dcu list instead we get this#(in all seriousness i highly suggest all of these movies but i will not accept responsbility for the trauma they induce)#me
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i feel like we've lost the whole eclipse coming back different and wrong thing here. like yeah hes the same guy but also.... not really? his memories aren't his, he is not that eclipse anymore, and he never was really
iirc a lot of eclipse's redemption arc was about the fact that he wasn't really the eclipse that did all of those awful things, he was just based off of him. like yeah hes still an awful person and he sucks but they're not really the same awful person that did all those horrible things to you.
he acts like he lived through those things and its his fault, but he... didn't and its not??? i dunno man it feels like we're back tracking here and not in a good way
(more ramble silly stuff in tags wowie)
#i have more to say but i cant keep this coherent for the life of me HAHSDASHF#i understand that hes coded to see that as himself but its stilleuhgah????#that's all hes based off and its all he knows but its still a little stupid to me that he takes it at face value idkkkkk#it makes sense but is also dumb considering his whole redemption#i COULD be misremembering how his arc went tho infact its very likely HAHAH#but i could have sworn the whole “that wasnt really you” was a part of it... hmst#“he left me behind.” dude ik you're full of trauma but i don't thinks that's even remotely close to a good reason for being the worst tbh#it would work and it did work for the old you though!!! go back /silly#im both really intrigued by where they're going with this and a little... disappointed ig?? that sounds harsh but#losing interest in the eclipses theyve gotten less fun 2 me#this probably doesn't make any sense cOUGHHG#todays ep addresses it i think but HUSH#char speaks#delete later#<-?
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#just reflecting:#wading into preverbal or early childhood trauma where I had so so so few words or concepts to work with#is SO HARD#because there’s SO little to find or connect with via my adult coping and processing pathways#because I CANNOT describe and verbally explain#I didn’t have words for it then#so it didn’t get stored using terms or words#so I can’t put words to it because it’s sensations and knowings and fleeings and captures that I may never have words to explain to someone#can’t sit and process it by telling it as a story to myself or anyone else#because there’s no story#my body knows things but the only ways it can tell them are tension and sensation and motion and charade#there weren’t words so they didn’t get stored with words#they can’t be accessed with words (although sometimes a piece will flood out through them)#and so I have to do dance or do repetitive hard work or do art to interface with them#but that’s so exhausting#and so much scarier#because the last layer of protection is gone#I can’t even remotely twist or soften memories with my choice of one word or cadence over another.#my body dictates the cadence of movement. my senses dictate the layers of paint on a page#they are incapable of lying#unfortunately I am sometimes also incapable of currently processing and accepting the things they are incapable of lying about#cest la vie#lol#shh katie
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