#Remembered this is my blog so I can post what I want
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Hey, if you're seeing this, I most likely died. I've been battling a really really intense illness for a few years now. I don't want to got in too much detail about It but it worsened these last months and I've basically been spending my final weeks living in my hospital room.
Many people have asked me what I think happens after we die since, you know, we can shift realities and all that... I was kind of afraid of answering and hesitated because I didn't want to influence anyone to do anything stupid and reckless. But now, talking about it makes me feel better, so I guess if you're more suggestible stop reading now... Or keep going. But I warned you.
Honestly, I stuck around in this reality just to find out. I know it sounds really morbid but I'm curious to know how dying is going to feel like. I'm not scared or anything because I've shifted many times and honestly I think dead is just the end of the body, not of the consciousness. I don't think consciousness can ever truly die, at least the way they define death. I think death, just like anything in this reality, is a creation of consciousness/awareness, and when we die we go to... Where we most likely think we end up to.
I always thought heavily religious people are now in their own heaven/hell, and for us shifters, since we know we can go wherever we want, then the choice is actually ours. I know by the time I die I'm going to end up in one of my many realities.
I guess I'm just rambling but... I'm happy I created this blog and helped people. I remember when I first found out about shifting many years ago, it feels like centuries passed! I never could have imagined I would end up doing things like magic, being famous, a pop star, an actor, a fairy, seeing the universe, and so on... I wish I could have said more honestly but it has been really hard making posts.
My last advice for all of you is to never stop dreaming, because the things you want are already yours. You don't know about shifting because that's what you're supposed to do, you know about shifting because that's the bridge for the things you already have. You were powerful enough to manifest in your reality the key to be limitless. Or, I'd rather say, you REMEMBERED your true nature. Break free from limits, because ultimetely you created those too.
So I guess... Bye, unless I end up interacting with any of you somewhere else ;).
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I'M QUITTING + MY VOID STATE SUCCESS STORY
Hello guys, it's been a long time since i have posted something or in general be active here which was mostly because of personal reasons (just focusing on myself), although one of them had to do with our community.
I personally joined loatumblr at the middle of 2022 (from a previous anonymous account i had) but i started posting much later. Back then, the community was at it's peak ngl. The bloggers and the way they explained stuff was honestly, at least for me, so helpful and enjoyable. After the end of 2023 - beginning of 2024 this community started dying. I really didn't like this since I loved scrolling through specific blogs and reading their posts. I tried to post some stuff to give a little bit of life in there and i guess it did help a little.
Quick note; Please don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the current posts and blogs running right now suck.. what i'm saying is that this community used to be way more alive back then.
One of the reasons why this happened is because people applied and got what they wanted. So they logged off tumblr. When I realised that, I decided to seriously focus on loa and start applying myself. And i ended up manifesting some good stuff, and I was good with it. Although, after some time, i decided that i wanted to manifest a completely new life from scratch, which it was what i wanted to do from the first time i joined tumblr but i ditched that thought and ended up changing some stuff about my current life.
My goal back then was to enter the void state (which im pretty sure it was 95% of the people in here goal too), but i didn't understand it properly so i couldn't 'enter'. I ended up ditching it and manifested without it. But after some point, i did my research and fully understood the void state or better, pure consciousness. If you go through my blog, you won't see much stuff about pure consciousness because i choose to not talk about it in here. The way it is treated it loatumblr just pisses me off. If you post a void success story, people will immediately run to you and ask you basic stuff like 'how did u do it?' when all the information needed about it is already posted. People tend to see it as something 'huge' and believe they can't succeed in it which is bs. If you do a little bit of research on pure consciousness you will understand how simple it is. Although, even if the 'void state' is seem like something that people overcomplete this doesn't mean that you can not use it. What i'm saying is that there are some people who really dislike the concept of it and will recommend u not to try it. Look, everyone has their different opinions and beliefs but if you want to manifest your dream life in the void state, go ahead. After all, it found you for a reason.
So coming back to my experience, since it was always my 'dream' to manifest my dream life in the void state, i decided to do it now. I'm pretty good at lucid dreaming (i've been lucid dreaming 3 years now) i decided to tap into my pure consciousness during a lucid dream. So i did my usual routine, had a lucid dream in which i closed my eyes and found myself floating in a void. I affirmed that i have lucid dreams everynight and then i got out. I did this 4 days ago, and i have had around 3-4 lucid dreams every single night, without doing any practise at all. Also, i have been scripting my entire dream life and i'm preparing myself to finally experience it. I have decided to make a looottt of big changes but two of them are the 'biggest' for me; numb.1 i will manifest that i will completely forget about my current life (i will also not remember anything about the law, for personal reasons) and numb.2 i will go back in time around 30 years ago (again for personal reasons). I mentioned this to make it clear to you that i won't be able to post my 'success story' after manifesting it, since i will not remember anything about me manifesting stuff and also even if i did, i wouldn't be able to post it since i will not have access to tumblr or current technology in general. So my success story is this one. This days, when i find the right time for me, i will have a lucid dream as usual and tap into my pure consciousness again which from there, i will finally manifest the life of my dreams. So that's my final post you will see from me. I hope you all never give up and get what you want because trust me it's worth it and all this found u for a reason. If you really want it and you stay consistent, then it's all yours. My words can not describe the way i feel right now, knowing that i have my dream life right in front of me and i can just grab it and give it to myself anytime, after this big journey. Goodbye everyone :)
#success story#void success#loa success#goodbye#loa#law of assumption#loassumption#assume and persist#void state#manifestation#manifesting
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tick tock goes the clock [ status: closed ]
the receipt
the review log
hello, my friends/followers! as i promised my generous friends that supported readings this year and thus helped me to buy a new deck - which arrived this week - i am hosting an ask game. thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting my blog this year from likes to follows to reblogs. i truly appreciate each and everyone of you! i also appreciate everyone who has purchased a reading from me and thus paid for my cerulean sequence deck!!
please follow the rules (listed below) to participate ->
i. you must be following me.
ii. reblog or like this post.
iii. only one ask per account! secondary asks regarding the game will be deleted.
iv. send the emoji that corresponds with the reading you want and your initials.
v. tell me a goal of yours for the upcoming new year is OR give me a post idea (it will not count if you give me a hyper specific astrology placement - as a reminder i no longer do free consultations on astrology placements).
vi. asks that are missing the above requirements will receive a response of "game request denied".
vii. please be patient! i'm working full time, so i don't have a lot of time to sit down and do back to back readings (you can dm me and ask if yours ask sent or where you are in my queue - but please don't spam me as it won't make the process go faster, it will actually slow me down because i am answering you instead of answering asks). i will leave the game open for the week or until i reach 50 asks!
viii. feedback is greatly appreciated, but not required - it's always good to know if my intuition and interpretation of the cards was accurate (especially since it is a new deck and i am not sure if it vibes with me yet).
game options ->
🕰️ CLOCK 🕰️
the number and message that you need to hear and remember as the year 2024 comes to a close - it will be relevant in the final days of this year.
✨ STARS ✨
what comes naturally to you and what will need attention as 2024 comes to an end.
🪩 DISCO BALL 🪩
tell me about something going on in your life this year - i will describe the beginning the middle, and how it will end according to the cards.
🎶 MUSIC 🎶
you and a song you must listen to. what is going to change for you in 2025. what i sense you want most. and what is something you won't be able to control in 2025.
🍾 POP 🍾
the start of 2025. the end of 2024. what will change for you in 2025. what work you will have to do. and the end result of your 2024 at this moment in time.
🥂 CHAMPAGNE 🥂
a love reading (please send their initials as well as yours). you. them. together. apart. your differences. and your desires.
#astrology#astro community#astrology tumblr#astro notes#tarot art#tarot witch#free tarot#tarot deck#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot cards#pick a card#reading#numerology#111#222#333#444#555#666#777#888#999#000#cerulean sequence#oracle cards#game
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Knitting question!
Intellectually I know failure is fine. I'm a beginner! I'm learning! Mistakes are part of the process! But I find it really hard not to be demotivated by projects not turning out how I want
I spent all this time and materials on this and it's just kinda shit?
Did you experience that/have any advice?
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I definitely experienced that when I first tried knitting. I don't remember, but I suspect it's why I drifted away from the craft for nearly two decades.
I have a couple of semi-failures from my current re-entry into knitting. I intend to frog or partially frog them and re-knit, but there are other projects I care more about that are taking priority so far.
Right now, I love watching youtube videos with little tricks to improve one's knitting or deep dives into technical matters. I find information on fiber fascinating. I think that has helped me avoid many of the problems I experienced the first time around. Even if I run into an issue now, I can probably redo the project to make it how I want.
I think the first thing to figure out is how it's kind of shit. Yes, yes, you're a n00b, but there are lots of reasons projects turn out shitty. Some issues require a lot of practice. Many issues require reading a blog post explaining some technical thing and instantly upgrading your knowledge.
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For example:
When I first got back into knitting, I got some pretty green yarn and made a Medieval-looking hood. I had no clue how alpaca behaved or that it would be waaaay too flowy for the look the pattern was supposed to have. I was also knitting the pattern with the wrong size of yarn, needle, etc. It turned out way too big for me and a formless blob. It was also itchy.
A year or two later, I threw it in the dryer, and now it's an epic rainy day hood. It's mostly not itchy because the felting stuck down all those hairy ends. It has a lot more body now because it's felt instead of flowy hand-knit alpaca. (And, hey, it's even more Medieval since those hoods were often felt but not often knitted as far as I could tell.)
What went wrong here was mostly that I knew fuckall about fiber. I knew I was making it in some randomass size and didn't really care that it was too big, but I didn't know it would slither off of me due to alpaca's drape. I didn't need practice: I needed someone to tell me how alpaca behaves.
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Example 2:
I knit that Owls sweater and didn't like how it had no shaping... so I winged it. I ended up with really bizarre shaping because 1. I had no idea what I was doing and 2. I didn't close the underarm holes until the very end, so the sweater appeared to fit when I tried it on.
I could open the underarms back up and knit a separate piece for them, but I realized that I dislike the fabric overall. I knit it on a too-big needle (in my opinion). I thought I liked that looseness in my swatch, but I have changed my mind. I was also worried about running out of yarn (since it's a used yarn that I won't find again), but I had tons left over. I also think I want it more cropped. The yarn has a sort of nasty texture but beautiful color, and I knit quite a tight (and thus scratchy) sweater. I don't think I wet blocked it though, so that might fix the texture.
What I should actually do here, assuming I don't just get rid of the thing in favor of better yarn, is frog it and reknit from the top down, reversing the pattern and not having a phase with the underarms open like that. I should also knit it at a tighter gauge but with a little more positive ease, and I should trust that the stretchiness of wool will make it conform to my body just fine without a lot of shaping. Before any of that, I should wet block it and see how the texture changes.
I don't really consider this a permanent failure. I like the Owls themselves. I can easily just knit this again and get a sweater I want to wear... possibly a cardigan, now that I think about it. The yarn is a relatively robust wool that will be fine being frogged and reused, and knitting it gave me more experience with finishing a whole sweater. My various fuckups taught me things about both knitting and my personal taste.
I guess it could be demotivating because it took a while, but on that bigass needle, it really didn't take that long. I would probably always have knit multiple sweaters from this pattern. I see more than one in my future anyway.
Experience was an issue here, but it wasn't experience with the literal act of knitting. My tension was fine. It was more that I fucked around and found out.
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Example 3:
I made a self-drafted BTS sweater out of another batch of used yarn that I'll never get more of. I love the body. the sleeves are too tight in the upper arm, and my bizarre-ass design for the top of the body means that the sweater wants to be a boat neck but also fit differently in the sleeves and... gaaaaah. The tight sleeves don't feel bad, but what they do do is make the whole sleeve slide down my arm weirdly because of the fit issues around the boat neck.
Part of why the upper arm area is so tight is that I was worried I'd run out of yarn (which I did) and I wanted a balloon sleeve rather than a straight one. The yarn is so stiff that the balloon part is weird, and the two other purple yarns I added for the lower sleeve look weird. I should have reversed their order because one matches too well, and now it just looks like I ran out and had to add a last inch in a random other yarn. I have most of those two skeins left hanging around and a sweater that fits strangely.
Also... it needs hand washing but is shaped and sized to be worn against bare skin, so it gets stinky after a few hours of wear because I am a sweaty, sweaty person.
In this case, I wouldn't redo the body: this silk blend will look less nice after frogging, and I already roughed it up a lot knitting the damn thing the first time. I knit it starting at the top, so the weird fit across the shoulders is mostly here to stay.
However, I'm pretty sure the bad fit on the sleeves can be fixed by ripping back and adding a bunch of width up top. I can also start with the flowier other two yarns and maybe have bands of this stiffer one that I used in the body. I suspect the weird body fit is fixable by changing what the sleeves are supposed to be doing.
This is another case of fucking around and finding out, so I'm not too disappointed in it. I did wear it to Yoongi's concert too, and it was gorgeous, if too hot.
I do realize now that I hate boat necks, but I think I can put up with this one if the sleeves aren't constantly sliding out of place.
And if fixing the sleeves doesn't rescue this, I might attempt some surgery one of these days, but that's more of a pain in the ass, so that will definitely have to wait.
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Now, my guess is that your "kind of shit" is not "I freehanded a sweater two seconds after getting back into knitting because I'm a crazy person, and I messed up the shaping".
The more common problems are things like:
Not realizing that you should block or not blocking aggressively enough, so your stitches look way more uneven than they need to, the shape is weird compared to the example pics in the pattern, etc.
Using assy bind-offs so the edge looks amateur instead of polished. (You can go back and fix this.)
Failing to swatch, and now you've knit the wrong size.
Picking a fiber that just cannot do what you want it to—usually seen in people trying to avoid wool and not getting that 99.999999% of trendy patterns are written specifically for wool. I have an ancient sweater from college that looks nothing like the example in the book because all I could afford was big box store acrylic. Never again the plastic horror!
Buying patterns from a size 0 lifestyle blogger aspirational knitwear designer with no boobs and a great photographer, then feeling dumpy when trying the thing on under crappy lighting. This one usually requires a little more self confidence and some bust darts.
Making things in plain stockinette in a light color and smooth yarn like cotton that shows EVERY SINGLE TIME your tension wasn't machinelike. This is unfixable. Don't do this.
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If you're using mohair or alpaca, frogging may be more trouble than it's worth, but you often can reuse the materials. Granted, you've still sunk that time in, but the materials don't always have to be wasted. That might help it feel more like time you spent practicing and less like a complete disaster.
I'm a very product-focused knitter, so I don't really have practice pieces. I'm knitting to have a Thing and I want to wear that Thing, so I get the disappointment if you don't end up wanting to actually use what you've made.
But that also helps me not get totally demotivated. I still want that Thing and now I have a clearer idea how to make it.
So... what are these "kinda shit" projects anyway? What about them do you not like?
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Shifting Priorities
Thank you for all the nice comments yesterday! Some really helpful perspectives that gave me a lot of ideas on how I can tackle my simmer's block :)
Mostly, I think I need to trim down the number of neighbourhoods I consider "active" and the amount of projects I am doing in general. I have a hard time letting go of neighbourhoods, especially if I am still somewhat invested in them! But I also need to face the fact that I only have so much free time, and do not want playing the sims to be the sole thing I do with that free time XD
For some neighbourhoods I will also be trying out a more stripped-down approach to blogging, similar to what I've been doing with Driftwood. It makes me a little sad because I like my sims to feel fleshed out as characters and giving them voices is a big part of that! But maybe I can save the prose/dialogue for times when it is particularly needed, rather than including it as a default.
Finally, I am going to prioritise based on what I actually have the most fun with, rather than letting popularity drive my decisions!! Some neighbourhoods I feel sad about potentially retiring because I know people enjoy them, or I feel bad admitting I am never going to finish projects people were excited for, but I have to remember simming is something I do for myself, not for popularity or for other people.
So, plans for my neighbourhoods:
Pleasantview Plus - will continue in its current form for the most part, but holdholds I found less inspiring will just get short summaries rather than extensive documentation. This hood is waaaaaaay too big and I think not that many people follow it all that closely, but it's also my one true love and I would like to start prioritising it again rather than it always being on the backburner
Uberhood Challenge (YouTube Series) - This is a short-term series, and will continue as planned until I finish the challenge, which I'm over halfway through :)
Hollyhead - I hate to say it because I know a lot of people love it, but I feel like I have sorta outgrown this neighbourhood? Some simmers like their settings to be an escape from the real world, and when I made Hollyhead I think it was what I needed too, but these days I find how upbeat & wholesome it is a bit, idk, constraining?? I crave drama and conflict in my stories!! I also have kinda lost interest in the BACC rules and have started to find it more book-keeping and hassle for what I get out of it... Whenever I do open the neighbourhood I still really enjoy actually playing it, and I love the characters so much, but I just haven't found the events interesting enough to want to write about. I think this neighbourhood will not be retired completely (yet), but I will move towards writing much shorter updates in the form of newspaper articles and see if that helps. If by the end of this season I still feel ehhh about it, I might formally end it <3
Driftwood - no complaints about this hood, I'll probably continue with the current style of documenting major events & new builds only
Spruceburg (YouTube series) - I would like to do another season of this next year, after I finish the uberhood challenge! But I will probably go for a schedule of like, one season of series per year, rather than posting consistantly. I enjoy YouTube a lot, but its a lot of work too and I think has majorly taken away from my blogging time this year, which I am mourning now lol!!
The Fiero Legacy - it is probably time to throw in the towel with this and admit I just don't enjoy playing legacy style or with story progression that much! I always enjoy the period where the heir is dating but once they settle down and have kids it becomes a chore and a grind, plus with story progression's time system I always feel rushed and like I can't take a sim out of the house for an outing without potentially missing important milestones - the urban setting feels so wasted when its all family gameplay, haha. Hallie should be at the club!! It was an interesting experiment and a nice change of pace, but idk if I really see myself returning to it. I love the sims themselves and the setting, but whenever I actually load up the neighbourhood I just feel kinda stressed and overwhelmed :(
As for my building projects like Belladonna Cove, perhaps at some point I will get really inspired and return to them but for now they are on indefinite break. I remember saying a few time in the past that I didn't really feel much need to make over Pleasantview and Strangetown because if I wanted nice makoevers I would use frottanas, and tbh I feel the same way about Belladonna Cove - if I was playing it I would just use plumbtales makeovers XD With my past neighbourhood makeovers I was really inspired to make them because there wasn't anything out there that was exactly what I wanted but, well, there's loooooads of nice Belladonna cove makeovers these days so I just don't feel much drive to make my own version I guess?? I think I also have lost interest in building a little becasue I am no longer into super heavily decorated lots - I prefer lighter lots that won't cause lag lol! So yeah, I am probably not retiring from building forever but its no longer a priority for me :)
#blog maintenance#a lot of these were already on unofficial hiatus but hopefully making it more official will clear up my brain :)
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return to pierresteban
“I beat you,” Pierre says and the words fall hard from his mouth, like pebbles dropping into the smooth surface of a pond. The ripples go out in a circle, each their own tiny wave of energy, of life. They lap against the shore, uneven. The grass waves, gentle. He’s fighting, against Esteban, against time, against nothing. He’s not trying to be mean about it, maybe, or maybe he is. He did. He shouldn’t have. He did.
“And how many DNFs did you have?” Esteban doesn’t ask it as a question, not really. It isn’t a question. He knows the answer. It was one. He says it in that kind of flippant way where it’s true, too true not to feel like a knife, but not important enough to twist it. He knows how it went, for him, for Esteban. They can blame the car. They can blame each other.
Pierre doesn’t bother to answer. Esteban doesn’t bother to look at him. The lung virus, the mechanical issues, the crash with Pierre, with the wall, in the first lap, whatever. The season is over. It doesn’t matter anymore. Esteban is four points behind Pierre in the standings, the only four points that matter in the history books. Esteban will remember every race. He will remember the way his stomach heaved and his vision blurred. He will remember Pierre, stupid and shiny, the flick of his tongue. He already remembers Pierre, tiny and bright and angry. He didn’t miss him. He doesn’t.
“Right,” Esteban says, quiet. He’s not being mean. There’s no point to it right now, though the urge wells up inside of him, sharp at the thought. He can feel Pierre’s gaze on his cheek, his neck, slipping away, the heat of it. It was a good season, wasn’t it. The car wasn’t great, but they scored points. They both got podiums. Esteban got sick, Esteban got tired. He broke up with his girlfriend or his girlfriend broke up with him. He and Pierre aren’t friends. They couldn’t be.
“Right.” Esteban’s eyes snap to him like magnets. Pierre looks skinny, wrung out, scruffy. Handsome, maybe, if that were a word Esteban could use. Ready for the offseason. Esteban is ready to see his family, for Mick to come visit, to sink into the couch and watch stupid movies and not think about how the end is nearer than the start. There’s no end to Pierre. Esteban only half-remembers the start.
A banging noise in the distance breaks the silence. “See you after the break,” Pierre says. It shouldn’t be an offering. It should taste like ash in Esteban’s mouth, like pondwater, like scum. Esteban imagines he can hear the hum of the lights.
“See you,” he says, instead of opening his mouth wide and saying something he shouldn’t, tight and frustrated and tired. Pierre turns away. Pierre’s right. He won. Esteban thinks they’re getting too old for this. His knees have started hurting when he climbs out of the car, not stopping for hours. He’s getting too old, if all he’s going to do is lose, make excuses. Pierre quirks an eyebrow. Esteban shakes his head. One more year, he thinks. One more year.
#Rpf mention#Remembered this is my blog so I can post what I want#I'll probably delete later but u can rb or whatever idc
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got this reblog on one of my posts were i talked about being anxious about the future of the zelda series after totk and-
i even went back and unblocked them just to check my own post and check twice what they meant exactly- but i still dont know how they got to these conclusions
i never said i 'want a good uwu ganondorf' (bc that would mean hes aligned with hyrule bc thats how goodness works!!!!11!1!!!), i also dont think of any of the zeldas as 'whores' (seriously, where did that come from?? neither me nor the addition of someone agreeing with me said anything like that??? did they think bc the addition called tloz misogynistic means we think zelda is a whore????? huh???)
its also funny how they say they want zelda to stay a simple fairytale rather than have 'people like me' bc .. one point i talked about in the og post was how the evil arab thing VS good white people media likes to do so much is so normalized here that its simply seen as a simple harmless fairytale trope instead of a big underlying issue in general media and the writers might not even realize it (which is worse) bc the most 'generic' appeal is to people who dont think of it as a problem in the first place, because it is so normalized
(huh, i wonder about what kind of person that part was about .. hmmmm)
(ALSO funny they mention princess hilda as nuanced villain ... like ... wow they are so nuanced about purple haired people!!- like guess why we want a nuanced/less badly/less flat written ganondorf and what he, in particular, has not in common with other villains! its not his hair color! .... or was that point supposed to mean .. look we have one female character that is a villain, its not misogynistic! idk honestly)
(and the classic, "you just call it this/dont like it bc its not what you wanted !!!!!!!2!"1!112!!")
also funny how its 'never gonna be progressive enough' like asking for the franchise to maybe put a little more thought and nuance into their white divine right vs evil desert man simulator instead of making it worse is already asking too much
(i dont know what the last point has to do with anything??)
(also yes totk is racist, like most if not all of the franchise and a alot of other media as well, shocker- you can still like it though, i and plenty of other people are still fans of it, we just wish they did a little more with their stuff and maybe not make the racism problem WORSE)
(also yes the hyrule monarchy is also evil :))) )
(and also not so secretly so either :)) )
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#ganondorf#wanted to search my blog for the post at first and tumblr showed me two posts and their reblogs#i have so many more posts in this tag#the fuck#.....im sorry to all the zelink shippers with a brain but i cant say im surprised that they were one#i could go through every point in their addition but tbh its not worth any more of my time really#needed to say something though bc .....#yeah no wonder nintendy dont have to put any work into their story if thats how some people react to mild criticism of it lol#who are you fighting for little man?#defending the big corporation from mild criticism from people that want the media they produce to be better??#....... in the end i kinda did go into every point#or what point i thought they were trying to make which ... was rather unclear to me#anyway#wild to come across people like that here#only had one other i can remember but they went straight to insults lol#(was there ever a divine prophecy that said only gan can be king??? how was urbosa or riju on the throne then??-#(wait was that meant as “see? the gerudo have the divine right thing too!! samey as hyrule so they not bad!!”#i am genuinely so confused
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Hey Baba, it seems like you've been seeing a lot of yucky stuff online right now. A lot of people who aren't remembering their manners and are forgetting that there's people behind a screen. I know you like your screen time but please remember that the world isn't all like that okay? Some people are different online and forget their values and let's remember that these days, algorithms perpously show you things that'll make you upset. Yes, yes it's not very fair, is it sweetheart. Please remember to take some breaks and that the world isn't really like that. It's so important to protect yourself. Yes, silly even if you think you don't deserve it; because you do.
#todd talks#🫛#agere#agere text#age regression#caregiver blog#caregiver text#agere reminders#inspired by my instagram filling up with really scary & unhelpful advice and people who are just coming out to bully people#please remember everyone that the hot market these days isnt real estate or stocks it is peoples attention spans and companies want to show#you the cherry-picked very best and the tailor made worst just for you#for years i only had tumblr reddit and youtube because i dont want a big digital footprint and i dont think much good comes from it#but i got instagram a few months ago so i can stay in touch with people and oh my gosh its vile#even when youre so particular about what you like/watch#but!!#as long as youre being aware you are already doing great. if you catch your self going hang on. this is a rubbish post. thats you recognisi#whats going on. which makes it a lot harder for it to get to you#sorry if this is a bit much but its something thats really important to me.. i just think social media is so evil these days.#be your online body guard!!! protect your feed!! keep your head up!!!#and if you feel you cant??? i can take care of it for you raaaa!
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Light loves his asshole.
#drawn by me#my fanart#what can I say? he does#Death Note#L#Light Yagami#lawlight#please don't kill your asshole Light. it's not a good idea#the word of the day is: asshole#I'm immature lol#I actually edited more wholesome dialogue in these pics because I was feeling cowardly#but then I remembered I rated my blog 'mostly PG-13' so...#if anyone wants me to post the PG version of these just tell me so ehehe
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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More waffle duo doodles and some traditional doodles from before the JRWI brainrot started :-)
#bandit's doodles#waffle duo#mumbo jumbo#grian#gtwscar#ive been neglecting this blog and you guys by proxy#im so sorry#i hope this is enough food to last until next time I remember to draw them#also I think this is the first time I've posted my sketchbook art??#woah bandit draws on paper too??#what can't he do????#draw with crayons for an extended period of time I guess#the digital ones are more recent actually#i was out for a day and I saw 5 DIFFERENT WAFFLE HOUSES#it was a sign#the wdwh was calling to me#should I tag it actually#i mean#ykw it's my tag and my blog I can do whatever I want#wdwh#i feel so empowered now#also if anyone translates the galactic at the top of the grian page#you win 100 bandit bucks
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Was working on something before I forgot that I can't fucking draw.
Yeah this is what a grown-ass adult's art should look like, this is the quality expected of someone whose been drawing since they could grasp a pencil. This measly scribble is worth 2 days of effort using all my free time.
#I hate myself#not to blog post or anything but my life is so stressful and I think that if I was good at drawing and churning out drawings quickly and#beautifully on the daily/weekly..#If I was like the thousands of foreign 12 year old prodigies on instagram with perfect anatomy on a mere sketch#or the soul-sellers on pixiv uploading 200 fully colored drawings at once#all my problems would be solved.#Im so hateful and it's all towards myself. I'm so painfully envious of things I'll never have...#...like a cock or artistic skill. If I wasn't so scared of not existing (to the point where thinking about it makes me physically ill)#l would have ended my shit already. But here I am.#So take this stupid ugly fucking Shane I tried to draw at midnight after a 10 hour shift. You're here to see bellies-#-not me bitching and moaning. Matter of fact I'll probably delete this part later. Whatever.#What is my fucking problem??#Enjoy what little I'm able to give. All I want is to share my thoughts and ideas and concepts and I can barely even do that.#I think I am going to pass out typing this so uh#see you later when I regret this post and delete this part haha#If I even remember#self post#Drawing#tummy kink#stomach ache#bloated belly
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Hhhungryyyyyyyyyyy
#i want burger#and garlic mayo#you’re telling me a gar licked this mayo?#can you tell I just remembered that this is a personal blog#I can post whatever i want#I’m treating it like a private twitter account but just with art posting#but like seriously I’m so fucking hungry rn it’s literally 3 am#I genuinely just want a burger#for my American audience i want a chicken sandwich#chicken sandwiches and burgers are just kinda considered the same here#what fucking audience you loser it’s 3 am and you’re burger posting in tags#chat can you believe this?#chat is this real#also I’m fucking COOLLLDDDDE#who’s been reading all of this#if you have leave a comment down below 😎#if you’ve been reading this long you deserve some personal information#I’m so mad I won’t get a burger on Friday and probably also Saturday#since I’m going to the shit doctors#and they’re shoving a camera up my asshole (colonoscopy)#what’s that one saying#hot people have stomach issues#anyway#I can’t eat for a FULL DAY before it#aka Friday#and then it says on the prep document that your first meal shouldn’t be super greasy#which makes me pissed like#dude let me eat my shitty burger and poutine#ohhhh my god I want an osmows poutine#guys I ran out of tags so I guess you’re not gonna hear the story about how we had 3 university students all hunched over food CHARACTER LIM
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not afraid of oc posting anymore <3 (person who is still afraid of oc posting </3)
#i'm like oh no what if ppl i don't know don't like the random guy who exists only in my head. ahhhh#wish i didn't care so much bc other ppl don't but unfortunately i am too self aware and i DO care. very much#me saying this like i wasn't ranking his names last night & posting shirtless pics of him lmao#.......... and then i logged out of tumblr and went to sleep out of sheer embarrassment of talking on him on his blog#normally i don't feel weird talking ab ocs other than eldon bc i love him so much it feels odd sharing him ig#but new guy has given me the brainrot and now i feel annoying about him too. can't win i fear#and when ppl talk to me about him and remember things i mentioned about him i'm like ''oh ppl actually pay attention... huh''#bc i feel annoying. i genuinely want to talk about him forever rn but i think it'd be annoying if i did#can i be normal. can i please be normal. can i stop feeling annoying and stupid over anything i like#then my brain says no and i'm like oh ok </3
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i love stobin working retail jobs and sharing a resume so much but consider this. steve follows robin to bloomington, indianapolis, west lafayette, wherever she decides to go and they get a little apartment. maybe they decide to go out of state but i think they stay in the midwest. then st takes a page from buffy and steve works construction while robin goes to school.
#i think this would play nicely into him believing he's not smart#and robin's like “what? you built my desk all by yourself. i don't know anyone else who'd be able to do that.”#“and you fixed mrs. robinson's fence just last week! that little dog of hers was always getting out and digging holes in her rose garden.”#and she reassures him that all those things require skill and important and HE'S important#and he believes her a little more every time he hears her say it :)#the day she learns about gardner's theory of multiple intelligences she can barely contain herself#she's so excited to tell steve she doesn't even get the car door closed before she's blurting it out#like “GUESS WHAT 😳”#and maybe he gets a little misty but he saves the tears for later when he can really think about how much he's loved and how they're both o#and living the life they both want because they built it together!!!!#anyway . . .#i swear this was just supposed to be a post about steve being hot#but that kinda got away from me#i could go on and on about them#steve harrington#robin buckley#stobin#god help me i'm scared to have my post In The Tags but i must maintain tag consistency for my blog#also i remember very little about buffy#this is a stranger things post#*and ARE important#*they're both OK#i haaaate typos in tags but i'm not writing all that again
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Is there another hobbyist or writer whose style or content is one that you enjoy?
《 I've been hesitant to answer this one because I haven't really read a lot of fiction lately, so this question feels like I'm being asked to pick favorite RP partners and that feels kinda mean. I love writing with all of y'all.
Still, I think I ought to give special mention to Dragon because oh boy do I reread their replies a lot...and I mean a lot. It's like comfort food to me. It makes my day (my week, even) whenever I get a new reply from them and I read new replies at least five times while trying to formulate a reply back...and then I reread it a billion times more while I wait for the next reply. There's so many Dragonisms in their writing I absolutely eat up. Their OCs are immaculate and they truly get their canon muses.
I also want to shout out Calvin. We haven't written together in a while, but I went back to reread old threads recently and they were so charming. There's this one reply that's now forever lost to the void because he deleted his old blog and my heart is broken because it was such a cute/sweet reply. I didn't reply to it because it was such a perfect bookending to the thread and now I'm kicking myself for not reblogging it without a reply. Maybe it's still in my drafts somewhere; but I might've deleted it while cleaning out my drafts.
I'll add to this post if I think of more people to shout out. 》
#ooc tag#answered#anonymous#《 i swear i want to branch out and rp with more people 》#《 this is not just a 'post things that Dragon likes' blog 》#《 that's what my oc blogs are for /j 》#《 but seriously 》#《 i really need to clean this blog up more and see who i can throw my muses at 》#《 i feel like i add a lot of muses based on what i think my pre-existing mutuals would appreciate 》#《 which only encourages me to remain more insular 》#《 it doesn't help that i have this sort of impostor syndrome when it comes to canon muse stuff 》#《 i started out as an OC rper and though i have 10 years of experience writing canon stuff— 》#《—I feel like i let myself bleed into the characters too much??? if that makes sense??? 》#《 like i know canon blogs are all about personal interpretations but i feel like I'm not doing a good job sticking to the characters 》#《 it doesn't help that getting me to watch/rewatch things is like pulling teeth so I'm going off of vibes and things i vaguely remember 》#《 makes me hesitant to reach out to other people because idk if they'd have as much tolerance for my writing as my mutuals do 》#《 i didn't mean for this to become a post about me whining about my own writing in the tags I'm sorry hghghhngh 》
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