#Relationship patterns

[unwelcome-ozian]

[queerlilchinchin]

Trigger warning: rape mention

I was thinking about some of my past [adult] relationships and how I just realized it's been a really long time since I've dated a guy I didn't live with like immediately into dating.

Being in a relationship and not moving in like right away is almost new territory for me... and it made me realize that I never really took the time to sit down and think about my patterns in my relationships that might be fueling my more toxic traits (like being overly clingy, not being able to let certain kinds of things go, etc)... and... so I decided to just sit down and list my adult relationships to myself and the major points of each one.

And I'm realizing... like... yeah, I have certain patterns that show up especially in my later relationships, after I got relationship trauma (more specifically after the ex that tried to force himself on me)...

It's... eye opening. I recommend that anyone that has toxic traits they want to rid themselves of in any kind of relationship, not just romantic, to do this because wow does it open your eyes, especially when you realize there was a specific point in which you started having these traits.

[insidesmatch]

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[thediscombobulatedtherapist]

On trauma and childhood abuse:

Chronic childhood abuse takes place in a familial climate of pervasive terror, in which ordinary caretaking relationships have been profoundly disrupted. [...] Even more than adults, children who develop in this climate of domination develop pathological attachments to those who abuse and neglect them, attachments that they will strive to maintain even at the sacrifice of their own welfare, their own reality, or their lives.

- Trauma and Recovery (Herman, J.L.; 1992)

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[nefelibatat]

So it's kinda interesting how Jinx is basically Caitlyn's own extremely malevolent genie. Every desire she has, Jinx fulfills, but with such a cruel twist that it almost defeats the point.

Want something new and exciting in your sheltered life? Well, one might say nearly getting blown up is pretty exciting. Looking for a real job to undertake? Here's a convenient pile of evidence leading you straight to the heart of a criminal empire. Good luck getting out of this mess though. Coworkers making you feel excluded? They can't do that now; they're dead. Longing to see Vi again? Don't worry. You will be taken to her, like it or not. Mum being too restrictive? Never again!

It's no wonder Jinx is associated with monkeys when her role in the show is ensuring a monkey's paw curls any time Caitlyn has a vague inclination towards something.

[lunarcrown]

Haha bravo’s new hels sponsor am I right……???

[oxfordsxbrogues]

“Wait no not like that.”

OR: Results? To MY own self-sabotage? More likely than you’d think!

OR: I don’t CARE that the prophecy was self-fulfilling, I’m still angry about it! 😤

OR: Blitzø sweetie pie please go to therapy I know this great lady with a hotel where you do trust falls and talk about your feelings she’s like a block away from your office just pop in for thirty seconds please I’m begging you 🥺

[bigothteddies]

part of me wonders if like. the whole “threesomes always get so messy!” “throuples never last!” shit is at least partially self fulfilling because people only do one or two and stop and write off the entire idea. like. do you still talk to the first person you dated? do you still talk to the first person you fucked? did your relationship with everyone you ever fucked stay perfect for forever or did it get messy and end? this idea that threesomes and throuples inevitably end in lost friendships and hurt feelings is kind of weird to me because so do 90% of monogamous relationship and flings. humans are messy. fucking someone and absolutely nothing changing about your friendship or relationship is pretty abnormal. I don’t know dude I’m just thinkin aloud here

[thechy-fychannel]

y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.

[a-heart-of-kyber]

The way many in the bg3 fandom go:

Astarion: Abused/Traumatized

Shadowheart: Abused/Traumatized

Lae'zel: Abused/Traumatized

Karlach: Abused/Traumatized

Wyll: Abused/Traumatized

Gale:...is a wizard.

Will be part of my villain origin story, cuz y'all the point was apparently like 12ft above your heads.

[infizero]

i said this in the tags of another post but. the way that the desert always seems to PHYSICALLY pop up whenever scar and grian are together is insane. first them finding the only tiny patch of desert in double life, and now a desert appearing in front of them right as they're laughing together and riding on a llama camel. like we all know this but MAN. they seriously never left the desert. it's become a symbol of their past together, and they can't escape it.

[altschmerzes]

if the only time you bring up A Secret Third Thing is when someone has suggested generally celebrating or uplifting platonic/queerplatonic fictional relationships in spaces that ordinarily obsess about romantic ones to the exclusion of all else perhaps consider why you’re doing that and also stop.

[fiona-fififi]

If I'm being honest, I actually think I would prefer to see Tommy NOT become the boyfriend. I really like the idea of the two of them dating a bit, and Tommy helping Buck to explore a little, but I think it would be much more interesting if Buck doesn't immediately jump into a more serious relationship with him. Allowing Buck to explore more casually as he starts to figure himself out just feels a little more meaningful here. He's always so quick to jump into relationships. I'd rather see him really take his time and let himself have some fun. And absolutely, Tommy can be a major part of that. But so much of the speculation around them feels like it frames him as the boyfriend, but I don't know that that's what Buck needs from him, to be honest.

[syn0vial]

regrettably, neither is them being even a little bit ironic

[artbyblastweave]

Funniest thing I've seen recently, and not funny in a ha-ha way, more funny in a "the endless entropic void gnawing at my will to live" way, was somebody asking around for alternatives to Neil Gaiman, in the light of Neil Gaiman's ongoing fall from grace. As though what we're currently sitting through isn't the collapse of the carefully curated "Good Guy Neil" image that caused people to parade Gaiman as the same kind of preferred progressive alternative to, say, Rowling. As though we won't be in the same goddamn situation in a few years or months, with some number of the new progressive sci-fi/fantasy darlings- not all of them, to be clear, but at least some of them- when their impeccably-curated marketing implodes in on itself and they're revealed to be the same kind of sex pest or abuser. Can you not see the wheel to which you are strapped. The game of human pinball you are condemning yourself to with this mindset. Maybe you do see, and you're just resigned to taking it one soul-crushing disappointment at a time, one "I never would have guessed" after another. I mean I think we all need to get resigned to that one way or another, sun's gonna go out before it stops happening