#Relationship patterns

[unwelcome-ozian]

[queerlilchinchin]

Trigger warning: rape mention

I was thinking about some of my past [adult] relationships and how I just realized it's been a really long time since I've dated a guy I didn't live with like immediately into dating.

Being in a relationship and not moving in like right away is almost new territory for me... and it made me realize that I never really took the time to sit down and think about my patterns in my relationships that might be fueling my more toxic traits (like being overly clingy, not being able to let certain kinds of things go, etc)... and... so I decided to just sit down and list my adult relationships to myself and the major points of each one.

And I'm realizing... like... yeah, I have certain patterns that show up especially in my later relationships, after I got relationship trauma (more specifically after the ex that tried to force himself on me)...

It's... eye opening. I recommend that anyone that has toxic traits they want to rid themselves of in any kind of relationship, not just romantic, to do this because wow does it open your eyes, especially when you realize there was a specific point in which you started having these traits.

[insidesmatch]

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[thediscombobulatedtherapist]

On trauma and childhood abuse:

Chronic childhood abuse takes place in a familial climate of pervasive terror, in which ordinary caretaking relationships have been profoundly disrupted. [...] Even more than adults, children who develop in this climate of domination develop pathological attachments to those who abuse and neglect them, attachments that they will strive to maintain even at the sacrifice of their own welfare, their own reality, or their lives.

- Trauma and Recovery (Herman, J.L.; 1992)

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[nefelibatat]

So it's kinda interesting how Jinx is basically Caitlyn's own extremely malevolent genie. Every desire she has, Jinx fulfills, but with such a cruel twist that it almost defeats the point.

Want something new and exciting in your sheltered life? Well, one might say nearly getting blown up is pretty exciting. Looking for a real job to undertake? Here's a convenient pile of evidence leading you straight to the heart of a criminal empire. Good luck getting out of this mess though. Coworkers making you feel excluded? They can't do that now; they're dead. Longing to see Vi again? Don't worry. You will be taken to her, like it or not. Mum being too restrictive? Never again!

It's no wonder Jinx is associated with monkeys when her role in the show is ensuring a monkey's paw curls any time Caitlyn has a vague inclination towards something.

[lunarcrown]

Haha bravo’s new hels sponsor am I right……???

[artbyblastweave]

Funniest thing I've seen recently, and not funny in a ha-ha way, more funny in a "the endless entropic void gnawing at my will to live" way, was somebody asking around for alternatives to Neil Gaiman, in the light of Neil Gaiman's ongoing fall from grace. As though what we're currently sitting through isn't the collapse of the carefully curated "Good Guy Neil" image that caused people to parade Gaiman as the same kind of preferred progressive alternative to, say, Rowling. As though we won't be in the same goddamn situation in a few years or months, with some number of the new progressive sci-fi/fantasy darlings- not all of them, to be clear, but at least some of them- when their impeccably-curated marketing implodes in on itself and they're revealed to be the same kind of sex pest or abuser. Can you not see the wheel to which you are strapped. The game of human pinball you are condemning yourself to with this mindset. Maybe you do see, and you're just resigned to taking it one soul-crushing disappointment at a time, one "I never would have guessed" after another. I mean I think we all need to get resigned to that one way or another, sun's gonna go out before it stops happening

[altschmerzes]

if the only time you bring up A Secret Third Thing is when someone has suggested generally celebrating or uplifting platonic/queerplatonic fictional relationships in spaces that ordinarily obsess about romantic ones to the exclusion of all else perhaps consider why you’re doing that and also stop.

[somegrumpynerd]

More dude and bruh texts

[callmekatydid]

“Wait no not like that.”

OR: Results? To MY own self-sabotage? More likely than you’d think!

OR: I don’t CARE that the prophecy was self-fulfilling, I’m still angry about it! 😤

OR: Blitzø sweetie pie please go to therapy I know this great lady with a hotel where you do trust falls and talk about your feelings she’s like a block away from your office just pop in for thirty seconds please I’m begging you 🥺

[hiddensideoflife]

Everyone has a different journey.  We may not like how some people choose to live, but exploring their natal chart can often give insight into what the soul is trying to achieve in this life, beyond our expectations.

The house placement will give us even more details about the focus in this life.  For Rahu in the houses, in addition to reading the zodiac sign the Node is in, also read the corresponding house. 

Rahu in Aries or 1st House- In the last life, the native mastered relationships (Libra) and was likely focused on keeping the peace, balance and harmony, even to the point of being too agreeable and neglecting the needs of self.  Perhaps there was much sacrifice for others, and it was never appreciated.  In the beginning of this life, the native may be born into a family that adheres to social norms, so the native learns to be agreeable per said norms, never acknowledging or considering their own desires.  In this life, the native is meant to chart their own course, be assertive and independent.  A common theme with this placement is a tendency to become co-dependent with others and easily become the extension of a group or partnership.  Rahu in Aries will be confronted with this tendency by experiencing people (friends, social groups and network circles), even family members who reject them.  Whenever they try to work in partnership or even in marriage, the native may realize that the other parties are not considering the native and the native’s needs.  The underlying reason for these situations occurs to push the native in the direction of Aries. The native is here to learn to rely on their own advice, be independent and perhaps become a pioneer in the house where Rahu sits.

Rahu in Libra or 7th House- The exact opposite of Aries, in that in the last life, the native focused entirely on themselves (Aries) and the objective was to achieve success with their own efforts.  In this life, the native is likely born into a family where they are encouraged to be themselves and respected for doing so, however there may be a point where the native realizes that anything they wish to achieve in life seems to come to them ONLY when working with others.  In the beginning of life, the native may struggle with relationships- people may call them selfish and egotistical.  That is because the native is coming from a life where they needed to focus on self and being independent.  Now, the native will likely seek identification of the self through other people.  Depending on the Lunar Mansion placement, this may result in affairs or constantly going from relationship to relationship in a variety of ways (love life, business partnerships, etc.) Regardless of the tendency, the native needs to learn how to focus on the other person and that person’s needs to earn trust and build a lasting relationship.  They will likely struggle with this, as the comfort zone is in thinking solely of the self. Learning to compromise and consider others will be a major theme.

Rahu in Taurus or 2nd House- This position is opposite to the original 8th house, also known as Scorpio.  In the past life, the native indulged in deep transformations, hidden side of life (or occult) and benefited from investigative studies and research and perhaps joint assets from in-laws.  In this life the goal is to experience wealth, asset accumulation, stability and perhaps the sensual side of life and materialism based on hard work and their own efforts.  Rahu has an airy nature, so most astrologers believe Rahu does the best in earth signs like Taurus and Virgo.  The earth signs offer a place to keep the energy grounded, that is if the native can learn to harness the energy of the sign and create that balance.  The native may choose to keep their wealth and values secret due to past experiences with others.  Rahu in Taurus tends to make the native feel ostracized by the family.  Scorpio can sting its perceived enemies and this behavior from the family and others will likely force the native to come into their own and push them to build wealth and create an identity on their own. In the first half of life, the native may have self-destructive tendencies when it comes to handling money and relations, resulting in drug experimentation or clandestine affairs.   Scorpio is a very powerful energy, but the native has already mastered this side of existence and is here to create their own values, and in a practical manner, experience the material world, pleasure and learning wealth accumulation.  This native may bring past life experiences of domination and control over others to help achieve his or her means.   

Rahu in Scorpio or 8th House- The native in the past life came from a more grounded, methodical way of experiencing wealth and even likely enjoyed a sensual existence, and yet, this time around the native is looking to explore the inner depths of the soul and to perhaps awaken the kundalini energy within.  Scorpio is the point where the soul is embarking on transcending the material world.  But is the native ready? They might be accustomed to being more logical and in a prior life they were likely stubborn with wealth, assets and their values.  Perhaps this person was born into a family with such restrictions and norms.  The native likely feels an expectation from society or the family to be a certain way in terms of moral values and handling money.  The native needs to express their sexual nature and face their inner demons, yet this may create a problem as exploring themselves in this way will likely be uncomfortable for the individual. Scorpio is deep transformative waters, so the native may oscillate between obsession, possession and dissatisfaction in the area of love and commitment.  Masturbation or even pornography in secret will likely help the native open up to exploring this shadow side of themselves and they may even explore through many affairs.  At some point, the native may spiral into alcohol or drugs to cope with the dystopia or the cognitive dissonance within, however, the goal is to channel the sexual energy and need to control in a manner that serves the higher good to awaken the divine within.   

Rahu in Gemini or 3rd House- This native likely comes from a past life that was about high morals and religious principles, dharma and seeing the bigger picture, so in this life this might have brought them into a family that was attached to dogma or strict doctrine and ways of seeing the world.  If not super religious, perhaps the family is simply about larger causes that perhaps inspired the native to think about morals and values, neglecting to consider their own thoughts and self-expression, because the family kept the native focused on their duty.  The native likely moved to a far away place with the parents or the parents moved from somewhere else where the native had to assimilate into a new place and/or culture.  The goal here with Rahu is to be inquisitive and question everything or even venture out from the family’s shadow and communicate their needs beyond the higher good or dharmic path that the native felt compelled to follow through the family or parents.  The native may come across as adventurous and judgmental to others.  A difficult relationship with the father or an absent father could lead the native to question their beliefs.  Gemini is about duality so this also may lead the native to explore and communicate what is outside of the high morals and values they were raised with via education, relationships, love affairs and culture to come to a new realization about their own values and identity. 

Rahu in Sagittarius or 9th House- In reverse to Gemini, this native may have had a difficult relationship with the siblings in a past life.  If not due to the interactions with the siblings, it could be the native feels they were treated differently or loved less by the parents in this life.  The native may have been ridiculed or felt different or unique with neighbors or family growing up and, finally, at a certain point in life, Rahu leads the native to chart their own path in terms of their beliefs and higher calling.  This may be a very different path and belief system from the family, especially the father.  This position could lead to manipulation of others in the realm of spirituality and religion.  The native will use its past ability to sway others through expression and communication that will convince people of their position concerning morals and dogma, which is often created due to resentment of past experiences with religion, family or community that made the native feel ostracized.  Rahu in Sagittarius or the 9th House can lead to innovation and highly advanced methods to view society and inventions that help that world, but it is also the placement of many cult leaders.  

Rahu in Cancer or 4th House- In a past life, the native did very well with responsibility and this likely will manifest as one who is taking on responsibilities at a young age.  It is likely that they were very dedicated to hard work and taking care of people to experience personal gain or recognition, almost as if they treat it all like a career or the workplace, since it was in career and public image that they have already mastered in the past life since Rahu is now in Cancer.   They likely did not receive emotional love and support from the mother or the family, so how does one learn to balance emotions in this life? This makes their journey complicated as Rahu can create illusion and unrationalized fear on the Moon, which rules Cancer. The Moon represents the Mind and the Mother.  This life is about seeking comfort, happiness, and peace of mind. The native has to learn to acknowledge emotions and then to balance them.  The native might experience a family in this life that is all about work and personal achievements.  The South Node in Capricorn (the opposing sign) here will create emotional instability in life as the native seeks to stay comfortably in this mode, creating disturbance within the mind and emotional state.  The native, therefore will need to seek spirituality or ways to balance emotions that are different from the achieve at all costs mindset they were likely raised with.  These natives also have to learn to enjoy life and the fruits of their labor.  Learning to take a vacation or to find time to relax and be home will often be the lesson they learn. 

Rahu in Capricorn or 10th House- In reverse to Cancer, these natives were likely raised in comfort or perhaps had a close or complicated relationship with the mother.  They were also likely people pleasers and did most things the mother thought would be best growing up.  In the past life and at the beginning of this life, they were likely very nurturing, caring and loving, also sensing the needs of the family and at times, neglecting their own needs.  This might make the native very intuitive and able to sense the feelings and motives of others in relationships and their surroundings.  In this life, Rahu is leading the native to focus on their own needs and to get recognition for their deeds and contributions through work and career.  Rahu will pull the native towards manifestation and achieving success and wealth, luring them away from complacency and complicated family dynamics at home and their own emotions.  The key with this position becomes focusing on achieving goals and utilizing the gift of intuition in the workplace and career, not expecting people to have the care and concern that the native does. 

Rahu in Leo or 5th House- In the past life, you were extremely committed to your friends, social networks, masses of people and social groups.  Perhaps your efforts were not appreciated, and you maneuvered in ways to please the masses and others by making sure you were politically correct in order to be liked or accepted by others.  You likely had great ideas that helped others greatly.  You also likely experienced abundance from networking and your connections.  Being placed in Leo, Rahu seeks to find identity and fulfillment through romance and progeny (children).  In this life, it is about embracing your own identity, creative pursuits and standing in your own power through leadership, political interests, business or by focusing on education and building wealth in your own unconventional way- this might lead to an interest in speculative gains through stock trading and risky investments.  You were likely concerned about higher causes and everyone else in your last life so this will likely manifest in this life as a childhood full of non-accepting or awkward friendships where you are made fun of and ridiculed for being different.  Rahu has a complicated relationship with the Sun so this might manifest as an issue with the father or even children and romantic partners.  Not feeling accepted within the family or perhaps experiencing aloof parents or friendships where attention is limited leads you to try again with your love life and to get on with your own immediate family (i.e. children) and business/creative pursuits. 

Rahu in Aquarius or 11th House- As Leo’s opposite, in the past life, you were the center of attention and the leader in most situations.  You likely mastered raising children and expressing yourself through politics, career and in your love life to some degree.  However, disapproval of your quirkiness and ideas by family, lovers and father in this life, may lead you towards Rahu where you are inexperienced.  In the last life, you were a wizard in business or generating wealth and learning on your own efforts.  In this life, you need to convince others to accept your ideas and learn the art of networking and connecting with other people, releasing your ego in order to serve the masses and your social networks.  These people were likely used to being the center of attention or even the only child when they were growing up, so sharing the spotlight with others might pose as a challenge in the first half of life.  They are excellent teachers and extremely knowledgeable.  Rahu representing what is foreign or different will likely try to use this knowledge of the past in an unconventional way to bring a more “New Age” philosophy or invention to the world.

Rahu in Virgo or 6th House- Virgo being the natural 6th house of debts, disease, enemies and obstacles means that this native is here to embrace and learn a more practical approach to life.  You may be raised in a more free-spirited and spiritual environment where you are loved and embraced as you are at home.  These natives in a past life have already experienced spiritual experiences and merging with the subconscious so they may enjoy solitude and living in their own ideal imagination and reality.  They likely grew up exploring the secrets of the hidden side of life and the universe or even traveled to faraway places with parents or family live or to explore divinity.  Idealism is the struggle of these natives.  Bringing that to partnerships, marriage and the workplace may be the cause of problems in their life.  Learning to work hard and experience competition and criticism in the workforce as well as obstacles in health and debt is what the goal is in this life.  This is considered one of the best placements for the North Node.  The native needs to learn to bring their past life ability to connect to the Source through calming techniques like meditation or yoga to find the balance in their relationships and professional life.  This may lead to using intuitive abilities or unconventional healing methods to help serve in healthcare, or work with animals or the underprivileged. 

Rahu in Pisces or 12th House- In reverse of Virgo, this native is likely born in a very technical and highly educated family and community.  Perhaps you were the person born in the family of doctors or healthcare providers, and yet, your family cannot understand your obsession with spirituality or foreign places and isolation.  Rahu is not exactly comfortable in the deep shallow waters of Pisces so these natives will likely struggle with being overly critical of themselves due to past wounds from loved ones or an obsession with their health and routine.  The first half of life might bring a lot of challenges in the practical or material world but having the North Node in Pisces means that Ketu, the South Node will likely bring dissatisfaction with the material, eventually making one turn to solitude and spirituality.  This could manifest as an interest in expressing one’s subconscious through creative pursuits like being a magician, practicing tarot or other forms of spirituality or even lead to alcoholic and drug abuse to cope with the unexplainable experiences in the spiritual realms or dreams. 

Namaste…

[gothteddiesdotcom]

part of me wonders if like. the whole “threesomes always get so messy!” “throuples never last!” shit is at least partially self fulfilling because people only do one or two and stop and write off the entire idea. like. do you still talk to the first person you dated? do you still talk to the first person you fucked? did your relationship with everyone you ever fucked stay perfect for forever or did it get messy and end? this idea that threesomes and throuples inevitably end in lost friendships and hurt feelings is kind of weird to me because so do 90% of monogamous relationship and flings. humans are messy. fucking someone and absolutely nothing changing about your friendship or relationship is pretty abnormal. I don’t know dude I’m just thinkin aloud here

[thechy-fychannel]

y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.

[a-heart-of-kyber]

The way many in the bg3 fandom go:

Astarion: Abused/Traumatized

Shadowheart: Abused/Traumatized

Lae'zel: Abused/Traumatized

Karlach: Abused/Traumatized

Wyll: Abused/Traumatized

Gale:...is a wizard.

Will be part of my villain origin story, cuz y'all the point was apparently like 12ft above your heads.

[wombrion]

What was the fav fic you thought was deleted… also your fav fics/books in general ?

it was The Long Goodbye by ban_she, by far my favorite pmmm fic i think. what i appreciate most abt it is 1. very human/contradicting characterization (esp homura shes so normal on this one) and 2. to put em on such a down to earth, unique situation thats also very tragic on its own sense. it feels very personal. making some pieces/scenes i liked cus its difficult to put into words + i can make more people insane abt it🌹