#Relantionships

[cilldaracailin]

You’re My Best Friend

Hello My Tumblr Lovelys!

And here it is. The newest story in the Robyn and Taron series. Just to say, this story gets a mature warning for some parts so I am giving everyone the heads up now.

And enough chit chat.

Please read and enjoy their next adventure together.

Love Suze xx

1

“You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.”

It had been in total a week and two days since Robyn had left the hospital: a week since Taron had left her and two days since her check-up with Doctor Kay. The doctor had been very pleased with her test results and sent her back home with a grin and a smile.

“You have been listening.” He said to her as he read through her blood results. “Doing what you are told?”

“Always.” Robyn replied, though the doctor asked her about the glint in her eye before he went onto to explain about cutting her medication down.

Her iron levels were holding strong and her body was adapting to her new medication and now she barely felt sick any more after taking the tablets. The doctor had given her to go ahead to change her medication from three tablets to two tablets a day, one in the morning and one in the evening. As her symptoms had been so severe in the end and she had collapsed, the doctor wanted to ensure that she was still getting enough iron and she had appointment in four weeks for another blood test and assessment, to chat about getting her down to one tablet but Doctor Kay was extremely pleased with how much she had improved since he had last seen her, even more delighted to hear she had been following all the instructions she left the hospital with, adding more green food into her meals, and taking it easy in her recovery.

Robyn was still on leave from work, taking the second week off for further rest which she would never admit to anyone but she was so glad of. After Taron had left her on Wednesday the previous week, she spent the next few days sleeping and only moving around to get food, shower and stretch her legs around her home. Before he left to head back to London, Taron had given her strict written instructions to follow and he had stuck post it notes everywhere in her home, the same words written down on each page.

“Sleep, sleep, eat and more sleep.”

She was once again puzzled at how he had managed to stick them places without her knowing and had spent a few minutes taking them all down after he left, apart from the one on her TV in her bedroom, because she still felt like she needed that one to look at every day to help remind her to slow down. Only because on the Thursday after the Welshman left, she had found herself slipping back into her old ways and mid clean of her home, had to stop to sit on the couch to catch her breath, abandoning her clean to go and lay down as the room spun and she felt a headache coming on strong. She hadn’t attempted to do more than make her bed every day after that.

Taron was constantly on her back about resting and relaxing and after three days of twice daily phone calls and texts on every break he had on set, she softened to his concerned tone knowing he was worried about her. Also, he still threatened to take cwtch from her if she didn’t follow through with his words, saying he could easily organise for someone to come and take cwtch which she knew was very possible as he knew where she hid her spare key. He had stared down at her with deep green eyes before he left, using cwtch as a bargaining tool as he stood with his case at her breakfast bar.

“And I mean it Robyn.” He had said to her firmly as he held the blue dinosaur above his head so she couldn’t reach him. “You are to rest and sleep and relax and watch all the shows I popped into your favourites. I will be giving you a quiz.”

So far, he had not followed through on coming to take cwtch from her but Robyn had carried the dinosaur everywhere with her for the first few days before she had decided Taron really wouldn’t come and take her precious dinosaur. She very much appreciated his thoughtfulness of filling her hours with a variety of TV programmes while she sat at home resting as her days were spent lying in bed, sleeping and slowly recuperating after her hospital stay in the very beginning. While getting used to her medication, she needed something to distract herself with and Taron had picked some good shows for her to binge with.

Every day it got a little easier and she could feel her strength returning bit by bit and once she made sure she ate with every tablet, her body was healing with the medicine she had been prescribed. She had been initially worried about changing her medication to two tablets as she was afraid she would start feeling ill again but now two days in on two tablets a day, she didn’t notice any difference, her energy building back up each day, her tiredness fading and she thanked her lucky stars that her headaches never came back and her dizziness was a thing of the past. The bruising on her left shoulder had faded and the little cut on her forehead didn’t need a plaster any more, the tiny little wound healing fast. She felt how much stronger she was getting, how like her old self she was and when she walked to the piano earlier that Wednesday morning to play, she sat for nearly two hours before she realised how much time had passed by. It made her feel wonderful when she was finished, sending Taron a number of voice notes and a quick little video too, Taron replying back with a tonne of love hearts. It was the first time she really and truly felt better, and stood up with a genuine smile on her face, going back to her bed to finish watching one of the shows Taron had suggested for her.

With only a few days of her two weeks left, she was making the most of her days off before returning to work and fully intended on passing Taron’s TV quiz, the Welshman already testing her over a phone call for a show she watched in a day, the two chatting quite late, Robyn giggling as Taron fell asleep twice on the end of the line, eventually telling him to go to sleep. Their quiz continued through text, though Taron was sure Robyn cheated many times, telling her to stop goggling the answers. In saying that though, even without the quiz Robyn enjoyed Taron’s broad range of tastes and he definitely introduced her to some new and interesting programmes, widening her choice quite a lot and she was really taking advantage of her time off to work to properly rest up. Emma had told her not to return until she was ready, taking the time she needed to recuperate but Robyn had given Monday, two weeks and two days after her fall as her day to go back, even agreeing to work a half day to ensure her body agreed with her decision. She was enjoying her time off though as it had been a long time since she had two weeks off in a row with no plans, nowhere to go and no rushing around and she had really followed through with everyone’s instructions to take care of herself.

Along with his organisation of her TV to keep her occupied, Taron had also sent her another bunch of flowers which arrived on Thursday, the day after he had left her. Friday, she had another bunch from Taron’s mam and then as soon as she had just got those flowers into water, her doorbell rang again with another flower delivery from Richard. She was in the middle of texting Richard to thank him for the flowers and her doorbell rang again. She accepted the very large but light box from the delivery driver with a smile, signing the tablet with her signature to say she took the package in. She had to place it on the floor in her kitchen as her breakfast bar was currently full of flowers but also the box was quite large and it was too big to place on her counter top. There was nothing to say who the box was from and she pulled the tape off the top, opening the box and once she had folded back the four sides, balloons floated up, giving her a slight fright as they nearly hit her ceiling. She pulled on the purple ribbon bringing the balloons down to her eye line and started to laugh. Two balloons were get well soon balloons with a pun for each one, the ‘get whale soon’ and ‘bee well soon’ writing making her giggle. The blue foil dolphin made her smile and as she pulled down the yellow chicken and space rocket, she didn’t even have to guess who her massive box of balloons was from. The red love heart in the middle of them, made her heart thump a little faster and she let go of the ribbons again, the balloons floating back up to her ceiling. She lifted them out of the box, carefully placed the weight on the floor. She tilted the box towards her and at the bottom was a card.

“I thought three bunches of flowers would be too much and balloons are fun.”

The note was in Taron’s own handwriting and she went back to the box to look for a sender address but there was nothing. Looking to the balloons she grinned, turning back to her collections of flowers. She had moved the ones Taron had gotten her in the hospital into her bedroom, placing them on her make up table. She had placed the other bunch he had sent her on her piano and had found homes for her two new bouquets in her kitchen. Her balloons found their way to her bedroom and stood beside her make up table, and every time she looked at the them, she grinned, loving how her corner was decorated with beautiful and thoughtful gifts from Taron.

Along with Taron’s constant communication through phone calls, text messages, flowers and balloons, she had daily visits from her parents and her friends had organised a sleep over on Saturday night, teasing her mercilessly at how Taron had personalised her Netflix account for her and sent her flowers and balloons. Shane and Claire had cooked dinner and they ate, laughed and then crawled into Robyn’s bed afterwards, to watch one of Taron’s picks.

“So you really always share this bed together?” Shane asked her as they ate popcorn under her duvet, Robyn in the middle of them.

“Yes Shane.” She replied to her keeping her eye roll to herself.

“And like how does it work?” Shane saw her look. “I mean come on, you share a bed with him and I need details.”

“Do I ask how you and Daragh share a bed?” She looked to Claire. “And you and Nick?”

“But Claire is in a relationship.” Shane said to her. “And I am married man. You and Taron are… bleh.”

“Bleh?” Robyn asked throwing some popcorn at her friend. “We are not bleh.”

“Then what are you?” Claire asked.

“We are just us.” Robyn looked to the TV where Taron had stuck his written instructions for her. “We are just us.” She said again.

“Us who share a bed.”

This time Robyn did roll her eyes at her friend. “Yeah and you are on his side.”

“His side?” Shane looked. “He has his own side? And I am on it?”

Claire and Shane continued to tease Robyn for another little while but when Robyn had thrown all of the popcorn at her friends and they had to clean up the mess and make some more before they settled down, actually watching the TV. They stayed with her for most of Sunday before they left her alone and Robyn climbed back into bed to sleep some more.

Now mid-way through her second week off, it was the middle of the night on Wednesday and Robyn’s sleep was being disturbed which was why her mind had been thinking about her last few days. She could hear the wind and lashing rain as it beat hard against her windows. It was one of the downsides of having floor to ceiling windows, especially when the rain was falling sideways and it was disrupting her sleep. The weather hadn’t been too bad at all, nice July sunshine shining through clear blue skies and Robyn had been enjoying the lovely weather as she rested up but the higher heat of the day had resulted in a summer storm and the wind howled outside with the heavy rain that fell. Robyn buried herself deeper under her duvet, curling up, her eyes still closed as she listened to the horrible weather outside. She snuggled into cwtch, thinking about putting on her piano playlist to help her sleep but it would actually mean coming out of her warm cocoon to get to her phone and open her Spotify to then play it on her Alexa and she was too comfortable to move.

The wind battered against the windows and Robyn groaned. She had been listening to it for about half an hour now and opening one eye, lifted her head enough to peak at her clock, groaning as it only twenty past three. It was the wind that had woken her initially and then the rain started. She hit the pillow a few times with her hand, trying to find her cosy head position again. She had been sleeping the nights right through and the bad weather was keeping her awake now. It just came out of nowhere and it had been heavy and loud but suddenly seemed to have stopped as soon as it started, the torrential downpour becoming a lighter shower. She could still hear the wind though and she was so glad to be wrapped up tight in her bed.

Her head lifted when she heard a noise, putting it down to something in her garden falling over due to the wind, laying back on the pillow, pulling cwtch tight into her. A second noise which sounded very like a knock made her lift her head once more. Opening her eyes as she heard what was definitely a knock, she leant up on one elbow, a third knock making her sit up, holding cwtch against her. She reached over to turn on the bedside light, sitting still when she heard two more knocks.

Her house alarm was set but she could feel her heart racing, another knock coming, this time a louder one. She threw back the duvet and sheet, shivering a little as the slight cold of the room met her skin. It had been warm enough when she went to bed so had dressed in one of her shorts and tank top pyjama sets but her room was colder now as the weather changed during the night. On her feet, she opened the bedroom door, the rest of her home in darkness, the only light coming from the lamp in her bedroom. The knock came again and this time Robyn was sure it was unquestionably a knock.

She looked back into her bedroom, contemplating giving her dad a call to ask him to come and see who was knocking on her door but figured if someone was trying to break into her house they wouldn’t be knocking on the door and she really didn’t want to wake and worry her parents so early in the morning, especially after the scare they got with her trip to the hospital last week. She took some small and quiet steps to the front door, stalling when there was another knock followed by a voice.

“Robyn?”

Her head lifted when she heard the voice, recognising it immediately.

“Robyn?” The voice called again along with another knock.

Robyn walked closer to her door. “Taron?”

“Yeah it’s me.”

It took her three steps to get to the alarm panel and turn off the alarm, less than two seconds to turn on the light in her living room, unlock the door and open it to see Taron standing on her doorstep, dripping wet.

“Taron!?” Robyn exclaimed, beyond shocked to see her friend standing outside, his clothes stuck to him, water droplets falling from his hat and his whole face very sad and upset. “What on earth?” She reached forward to take his hand, his skin cold to touch, giving it pull. “Come inside. You will catch your death out there.”

His steps were uncertain but Robyn gave his hand a second pull, getting him in through the front door so she could then close it behind him. After she locked it again and set the alarm, she turned to Taron who stood as she had left him. Over his shoulders, he carried a backpack but it seemed to be pretty empty. She saw his body give a shiver and while she still held his left hand, felt his hand shake with the cold, also feeling the wetness on his skin from the rain that had been falling outside. Always feeling a warmth to his skin when she held his hand, she hated to feel him cold. He hadn’t spoken a word since he called her name and she lifted her left hand to cup his cheek, though it was a little hard as his face was looking down and just like his hand, his cheek was wet and cold. She lightly stroked his face with her thumb, thinking it might get some sort of a reaction from him but he didn’t move. She dropped her hand from his face and let go his hand and reaching over his shoulders, she went to take his bag off him but she felt him flinch, taking the smallest of steps backwards.

“Taron, it’s just me.” She said softly to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. “I am going to take off your bag. Is that ok?” She asked him. His nod was once and barely a nod but she took it as permission for her to go ahead. Walking behind him, she took the straps of his bag in her hands and slipped the black fabric over his shoulders and down his arms, leaving it on the floor beside the front door. She then walked around to face him. “Taron?” She asked, but his eyes were still to the ground. Her surprise at seeing him on her door step at such an hour had quickly turned to worry and concern as he wasn’t speaking to her or making any movements at all, frozen to the spot he stood on. “Taron?” She tilted her head to try and see him under his hat but his eyes were still focused on his shoes. From what she could see of his face apart from the sadness in his features, he wasn’t clean shaven and looked wrecked, dark purple shadows under his eyes. She had been talking to him on the phone just after eight that evening and he seemed in good form, chatty and laughing but now over seven hours later he was so unhappy and glum, his face so incredibly hard to read with whatever he was feeling. She was desperate to hug him but having already felt his reaction from when she went to touch him to take his bag off, didn’t want to take the chance in giving him another fright, reading enough of his rigid body language to know that he was very troubled and upset over something.

Seeing the water dripping from him onto her hardwood floors, she reached for his hand again, not feeling him close his fingers around hers as he always would. Instead, she gave his hand a tiny squeeze. “I am going to get you a towel.” Walking away from him, she grabbed a towel from her laundry room and when she was back beside him, he hadn’t moved. “I just wanna take your hat off, ok?” She asked him. When he didn’t respond, she took it off anyway, throwing it onto the breakfast bar. His hair had grown a lot and was just a little longer than the way he had his hair for when he filmed as Eggsy and while it was normally styled and gelled back, now it was messy, flattened against his forehead. She reached up to brush the longer damp strands away and Taron would usually move his head closer to her hand when she went for his hair but he stood still, not even reacting when she used her fingers to brush his hair right back from his face, smoothing it away from his eyes.

Wanting to continue to play with his hair, to see if would gage any reaction from him, she could feel him shaking with the cold he was feeling, so fluffed the towel out and draped it over his shoulders, giving his body a light rub. Even with his hat off, his eyes were still looking at the floor and his hands hung loosely by his side, the man in front of her just so miserable. “Rocketman?” She said gently to him, hoping his nickname would get a reaction but nothing. “Taron…” Her voice was quiet, a clear hint of desperation as she spoke to him. “Please tell me you are not hurt.”

His head moved a little and he looked to her. His licked his lips and gave her a single nod. “I am not hurt.” He answered her in a whisper.

“Are you ok?” Robyn asked him taking his right hand in her two as she stood at his side.

His head shook from side to side this time. “I just need…” He caught her eyes and swallowed, blinking a few times. “Just stay with me.” He said in a murmur, his eyes quickly going back to his sodden shoes.

“I am not going anywhere.” Robyn said firmly to him, lifting her hand to his cheek and cupping his face more forcefully than she meant to but she felt him finally lean into her hand. “I am right here for you, always.” She took her hand from his face and as he let his head fall to his chest again, Robyn started to rub the towel over his shoulders and back. While her blue fluffy towel was a quick fix to soak up some of the water from the rain he had been drenched in, it would not be enough to get him dry and his wet jumper was probably soaked through to whatever top he had on underneath. “Taron, can I take off your hoodie?” She asked him, seeing him nod. She took the towel off him and flung it onto the breakfast bar. Stepping around to stand in front of him, she zipped open his hoodie, sliding it off him and again throwing it onto her breakfast bar. Once she had rid him of his hoodie, she grabbed the towel and wrapped it around him. His t-shirt was wet but not as wet as his hoodie had been but looking to his trousers, she knew he needed a full change of clothes, a dry towel around his body was not going to be enough to get him warmed up. She slipped her hands under the towel and started to rub up and down his bare arms, hoping to create some heat for him. He had yet to object to anything she was doing for him and she kept rubbing his arms. “Taron?” She asked. “What happened?” She moved her hands down his wrists to take his hands. “Why and how are you here?”

Taron heard her questions but was concentrating on the warmth he felt from her hands in his and lifting his head, caught her eyes for a moment. “Just not…” His words came out slightly choked and he started again. “Not now. Please.”

“Ok, ok.” Robyn let go his hands and lifted her hands to his face again. “Ok. That’s ok. We don’t have to talk about it.” She stood up on her toes and gave his nose a light kiss, then stood a little taller to kiss his forehead too. “When you can.” She saw him try to smile but it was the most unconvincing once she had seen from him. “You are frozen through Taron. You need to get out of this clothes rocketman. You will get sick if you don’t change.” She didn’t get an answer from him so took his hand and started to walk, feeling him following her without question.

Taron was numb from the cold but also how he was feeling and felt himself being led by Robyn through her laundry room and into the bathroom, his eyes hurting as she turned on the light. He was left alone for a brief moment when Robyn went to get his bag and she came back with it in her hands. He nodded his permission when she asked if she could look through it and watched her pull out the few bits he had packed.

Robyn looked through his things trying to find something for him to change into but wasn’t having much luck. She had set aside a t-shirt and some boxers both a little damp from the rain, taking out his wash bag and placing it to the side of her sink but as she emptied the last bits from his bag all that was left was a protein bar and his phone charger. “Just a short stay then?” She asked with a light chuckle but Taron didn’t even move at her joke, the towel that was around his shoulders, now half falling off.

She dug again in his bag to make sure she had fully emptied it and at the very bottom she found two pieces of paper. “What’s this?” She asked him, seeing him look away when he heard the crumble of paper. She opened one up, her writing and the words “Time for a Robyn cuddle” staring back at her, the second page reading “Run a bath”. Robyn looked to Taron who was once again staring at his shoes. Two pages from the voucher book she had given him as a Christmas present were torn out and shoved into his bag along with the bare minimum he needed for a visit.

She left the pages on his wash bag and walked back over to him and stood in front of him. “Taron?” She placed her hands on his cheeks and made him lift his head and he finally properly met her eyes. His eyes clearly were so sad, beautiful green orbs heartbroken over something. She could always read him, always had been able to and now found it so hard to not know what he was thinking, why he was upset, why he was in her home.

She lightly rubbed his cheeks and then took her hands from his face and not being able to stop herself from offering him some sort of comfort, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, the towel finally falling to the tiled bathroom floor and stepped into him to give him a hug. She immediately shivered herself when his cold body pressed against her warm one and it took him a good thirty seconds before he lifted his arms to return the hug, immediately squeezing himself tight against her and he lifted her from her feet for a moment before setting her down and gripping her right into him.

Robyn was always warm to Taron. Since he had met her, she was warm and comforting and knew the right way to rub the back of his neck, to bring him down from whatever emotional high he was feeling and right now she was doing everything he needed her to do, everything he knew she would do for him and that was why he had come to her. Because he knew she would know how to give him the comfort he needed with hesitation or judgement. He didn’t have to say a word to her but assure her he wasn’t hurt, which he wasn’t and answer her question when she asked if he was ok, which he also wasn’t right at that moment but Robyn didn’t push him any further to talk and now as she held him in her arms, he felt safe and loved. It did take him a little while to actually return the hug but once he did, he curled his arms right around her, resting his cheek on her bare shoulder, the warmth on her skin soaking into his immediately, his eyes focusing on the freckles on the back of her shoulder before he closed his tired eyes and nuzzled his nose into her skin.

When the arrangement was made to reshoot the underwater scenes the previous week, Taron naturally felt a little tense, but the whole way back to Belfast very early that morning for the re-shoots, he had been a nervous wreck. It was only going to be about a twelve hour shoot as Matthew assured his crew and the cast that he had most of what he needed except for some nitty gritty bits which they never got to film the last time but that information hadn’t made the journey any easier on Taron. The plan had been to get a quick flight from London to Belfast early-morning, straight to set, film and then a flight back the following morning and it was a solid plan. It was the reason why he had packed so little in his backpack. A clean t-shirt and pair of boxers, his wash bag and phone charger. All he needed for a flying visit back to the leisure centre and the swimming pool but even with the short time he was needed for filming, he really had not been looking forward to it at all.

There was one other thing that was making his return visit to Belfast that bit harder and that was the fact that Robyn had asked him not to tell her when he was re-shooting his underwater scenes and he had kept her promise to her. She had been adamant she didn’t want to know, the accident under the water enough for her to never want to know about any stunt he had to take part in again and that included even the simple hand to hand combat he could do with his eyes closed. But he was so used to Robyn knowing his filming schedule, having that extra bit of support there if he needed to rant or a chat that not having her help talk him down was hard to get used to when she had become such an important friend to him over the last year. He had called his mam and she was amazing as always but he had missed the ease Robyn put him at just by simply chatting with her about the stupidest of things and walking onto the set without her knowing he was only two hours away from her was difficult. When he had called her from his trailer to check up on how she was, he acted his arse off to be happy and upbeat for her, pretending everyone was just fine in London but it had been so hard. Usually he would talk to Robyn about a tricky scene coming up, or any nerves he was feeling but this time he couldn’t say a word to her because he knew she would worry something shocking about him after what happened last time.

When he travelled for his re-shoots that morning, he was doing his best to think of what Robyn would say to him about how he was feeling. He knew she would tell him he wasn’t being stupid and his emotions were not to be thrown to the side, his concerns very valid, to talk to Matthew. He had done all those things but still felt sick to his stomach as the car dropped him off at his trailer just before lunch. He hated lying to Robyn but after her tough few days, he was already worried about her and didn’t want her to be worrying about him, sending her recovery backwards and she had been doing so well, and during every phone call they had she sounded more like herself and he loved hearing her play piano in the videos she had sent him as he sat in the airport that morning. They had helped distract him for a moment as did her phone call in-between scenes but they hadn’t been enough to take his mind from the water work which he hadn’t even started yet. While he had told everyone around him, he was ready to get back into the water, he had horrible nightmares for two nights before he flew to Belfast and his mam had talked him out of a slight anxiety attack in his trailer about an hour before he had to leave for set and he knew he was actually probably nowhere near ready to go back to film but he didn’t want to let anyone down. It was twelve hours on set and he could get through twelve hours.

Keeping how he felt from Robyn from her made him feel guilty but he promised and even though he had naturally called her with his daily check-up, as he had been doing over the last few days, he never told her how close he was to her, what he was doing. He wouldn’t do that to her after he promised.

When he arrived on the very familiar set just before lunch time, a lunch which he avoided in the catering tent, he had tried to shake the nerves off, focusing on some scenes on the side of the pool Matthew wanted to re-shoot outside of the pool. Then after dinner, not that he ate anything and again stayed clear of the catering tent, Matthew gave him as much time as he could in his trailer to compose himself. He had changed into his wetsuit and suit, minus a belt thanks to Stephanie, who also walked him to the pool, keeping their arms linked the whole way. He had sat on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water for a long time, taking deep breathes, mentally prepping himself before he fully submerged himself, reaching for the regulator and oxygen immediately from the diver. He was a bag of nerves during the whole filming process, swimming up himself at one point before Matthew had called for the end of the scene, holding onto the edge of the pool in a slight panic.

After a half an hour break, he had assured Matthew he was ok to keep going but as the scene became more intense and Gabriel had him pushed up against the broken set at the bottom of the pool, memories of getting caught on it flashed through his mind and panic once again set in and he was helped by the divers to the surface, coughing and spluttering, gasping for breath, dragged from the pool by the crew and given a paper bag to breathe into until he had managed to calm himself down, Lucy sitting in front of him with her hands on her knees, gently talking to him the whole time, while Stephanie wrapped him up in a towel.

“We are done.” Matthew called out around the dark set, pushing Taron back into a sitting position when he went to stand up in protest. “Done. I got enough.”

“We never finished the scene.” Taron objected as he took the bag away from his mouth and nose.

“Believe me I got enough.” Matthew said again. “We are finished here.” He crouched down to Taron and placed his hands on his shoulders. “We have a few days to spare. Go and see Robyn.”

Taron had tried to challenge his director but Matthew insisted and organised the lift for him to get to Robyn’s home, even giving Lyndsey a call to ask her to change his flight for Monday, instead of a few hours so he could just get away from the set, from filming and be with someone Matthew knew he needed to be with right then. After Taron had changed out of the wetsuit and clothes from the scene, had a quick check over by Lucy, Matthew had shoved him into the car when he tried to tell his director he was ok, the older man was having none of it.

“Get in the car now before I actually force you in.” Matthew growled at him. “You are going to go and see Robyn and you are going to talk to her about whatever it is you need to talk about and I will be calling herself myself to talk to her to double check you have spoken to her.”

It was the threat of Matthew calling Robyn that had Taron in the car in seconds, slightly rolling his eyes as Matthew threw his bag at him, ordering him to go and see Robyn again, making sure he kept the paper bag with him just in case he needed it. Taron tried to get out of the car once more but Matthew slammed the door hard.

“You are going to see her.” He said firmly through the driver’s window into the back of the car. “We have some time and it will do everyone good to have a few days break. Come back to set on Tuesday and we will keep going. I will email you through my plans for the last few weeks.”

Taron had no choice but to stay in the car as it drove off, holding his bag to his chest. It took him about fifteen minutes before he moved to put his seat belt on and then pulled his phone out to check the time. It was just coming up to two in the morning. It felt like he had been on set for days never mind hours and leaning his head against the window, he closed his eyes but opened them again very quickly as all he could see was water and bubbles, feeling his heart racing, his body starting to shake.

He thought he was going to be ok. He had had accidents on set before, big and small incidents and he got straight back into it. Hell, he had technically died on the floor of the 7/11 and managed to move on but this time, everything just hurt and stung and it was horrible. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of like he was underwater. His head was fuzzy, he had a dull headache behind his eyes and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He was trying to think positive, to focus on that he was ok, the scene was done and there would be no more water work but he was still left with this deepening sense of fear, of frightening imagines every time he closed his eyes, feeling his chest tighten with each deep breath he took. He found himself reaching for the brown paper bag to breathe into, seeing the driver look at him as he tried to calm himself down. When the bag ripped, he bent over, placing his head on his knees, digging his nails into the palm of his hands, concentrating on the sting on his hands, finally feeling his breathing relax after a constant round of breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth.

When he sat up, he started to sing through a number of Bowie songs to keep his mind distracted but as he was brought to Kilcreen, Taron’s legs hadn’t stopped shaking, his mind over thinking more than usual and now that he was on his way to Robyn, he desperately needed a hug and a chat, a cuddle and someone just holding him telling him he was going to be ok. As he came into the town, he recognised the canal thanks to the street lights and he had asked the driver to stop at the bus stop by the canal, insisting on getting out of the car, telling the driver he would be absolutely fine with walking the rest of the way even though it was the middle of the night.

“Matthew told me to drop you at Robyn’s house Taron.”

“Matthew doesn’t need to know a thing.” Taron called back as he walked, keeping his head down as he swung his bag over his shoulders, pulling his hat onto his head. He needed the walk to try and clear his head before he got to Robyn’s, trying to think of what he was going to say to her, how he definitely needed to apologise for not telling her he was in Belfast though he was following her specific instructions. He wanted to have some sort of speech prepared for her, to try to explain to her what he was feeling, how chaotic his mind was, how he was suddenly terrified of going near a swimming pool again. It was as he watched the black car drive away and over the bridge that the rain started and he had wrapped his arms around himself but he was quickly soaked through by heavy rainfall, the wind blowing sideways around him. He walked as fast as he could towards Robyn’s home, towards his second place of sanctuary after Aberystwyth. He pulled his wallet from his back pocket of his jeans as he felt the rain ease and routing through the mix of currency he had, he found two pages from the voucher book Robyn had given him for Christmas. He always kept some of his vouchers in his wallet just in case and as he shoved them deep into his bag, knew they were there if he needed them. They were two he absolutely wanted to take advantage of while he was with Robyn and she had told him he could use his vouchers whenever he wanted so hoped she would let him use them both.

It when he reached Robyn’s front door, he wished he hadn’t gotten out of the car and had it drive him the whole way to her home. The walk had done nothing to think through his thoughts, the torrential rain shower soaking him through and as he stood in front of her door, swallowed back some tears and the lump in his throat, thinking what a waste the walk had been when he was still as upset and confused as when he left set. Only now he was also worried that he was going to scare Robyn with knocking on her door. While he knew where the key was and what the code was, he wouldn’t do that to her, just letting himself in so took to knocking, hoping she heard it and she did.

And as always, Robyn took him in and didn’t question him except to make sure he wasn’t hurt and now as he stood in her arms, he felt safe and little more calm and hugged her hard against him, his face slipping deeper into her neck. He had felt her rubbing his arms, talking to him so softly, running her fingers through his hair and taking care of him just as she always did after he walked in the door and while he was sure the cold from his body was causing her to shiver, her grip on him was so tight and when usually she would always rub his back and his neck, now she was just holding him and it was what he had needed all day.

“Shh Taron, it’s ok.” Robyn softly cooed into his ear. When Taron had eventually lifted to fit his arms around her, it felt like he was holding onto her for dear life, like if he let her go, he would crumble to the floor so Robyn wrapped her arms around his back as tightly as she could, not caring that she was getting wet from him. “Whatever it is, it will be ok. It always is.”

When her hand slipped into the hair at the back of his neck, Taron sighed into her shoulder. “Thank you.” He whispered through another sigh.

Robyn didn’t reply to him but started to slowly scratch his head. In the same way that he knew how to calm her down, how to help her when she was feeling at her lowest, she hoped she was helping him and as she stood hugging him, she could slowly feel his racing heart beating in time with hers, his breathing evening out and his rigid body relax. She couldn’t say how long it would take, how long they would have to stand in the bathroom but she wasn’t going to move until she felt he was read

[moments-0f-life]

[nonbinaryeye]

Actually maybe one of the biggest appeal of durgetash is that it isn't cannon. It captures the queer yearning. The story makes sense even without the romance but some aspects just appear to be more clear and reasonable if you consider they might have had feelings for each and maybe they never acted on it but undeniable the it was there...

[winpocalypse]

You write Dean’s obsession and possessiveness towards Sam so perfectly. Your last Wincest fic took my breath away. Literally ❤️

gurl thank you so much

really happy you liked it 💜

[bloodlegacies]

The fake dating I am all here for. I don't know if you plan this but the MC falling for Hayden and being so confused and heartbroken as they fall deeper in love with them and while the MC just thinks that Hayden just sees this as a sort of game to get back at their dad or a political plot.

Well, more or less? I can't reveal too much, but let's say that Hayden might have a slight freakout with the MC if the MC is too oblivious, about what they'll do, or how it will be. It's something I can't disclose because it would be a spoiler...

[thaliasthunder]

do people that ship jason & piper romantically actually exist

[introvertgoat]

hc that throughout the years, jude takes leaves of absences form being high queen to go spend a couple months w vivi heather n oak !!! madoc too ig while he’s still exiled lol. ( vehemently ignoring the stolen heir’s canon sorry not sorry.) family bonding time, far away from the hubbub n chaos of the folk, n also the realization that jude doesn’t mind the mortal world all that much. yes it’s not faerieland, but it’s smth alright n she finds it soothing at times. she’s less unhinged n paranoid compared to when she was younger n the ptsd from her past has decreased in its intensity thanks to heather-mandated therapy ( heather only had to hear a couple times abt the duarte sisters’ fucked up childhood for her to plead jude to go to therapy—vivi alrdy has— n jude relented after 5 yrs of honest-to-god begging. big slay heather our mental health queen 🫂) and so that’s why she can even leave faerieland in someone else’s hands. these visits aren’t too frequent but they r long in their duration. 3-4 months tops. sometimes cardan comes along bcs the bed feels empty w/o jude n— Okay he’s js lonely w/o his wife. sue him. some poor hapless councilor advisor is forced to be in charge in their place (they send letters weekly. ‘please your majesties, when will you be returning home ?’ #urgent LOL) one day jude (age:37) notices grey hairs appearing on her head n she sort of freaks out. not in an entirely vain way either. more like:. oh fuck aren’t i supposed to not age as long as im in faeirieland ?? 3 long discussions later w cardan n the royal folk-human specialist, the conclusion that is reached is that bcs of jude’s visits to the mortal word, as infrequent as they r, theyve seemed to affect the way her body ages. or more aptly put, doesn’t age lol. jude gets some grey hair n lines on her face while still technically NOT aging. n she feels less panicky abt it bcs hey she’s not aging. sort of. meanwhile, cardan finds himself deeply enamored w jude’s grey hair n the subtle creases on her face that multiply slowly. he tells jude js so n she’s like i am not susceptible to flattery cardan greenbriar. hes Serious abt it tho n tells her that he isn’t saying that bcs it’ll make her feel better or wtv but bcs her aging evidently is actually beautiful to him. cue jude sour pursed lips for a bit as she gets these days when it comes to cardan being unbearably earnest towards her but she feels less weird abt the hair n lines so :)

anyways this was a long-winded niche asf hc that appeals to exactly only 2 ppl on this site n im not even confident in THAT estimate lol

[michellesguidetothegalaxy]

It’s still you and probably always will be.

[jennylikejerry]

Relationships are scary... What if he doesn't want to listen to my interpretation of literature, what if he doesn't want to talk to me about the moral problems of the characters on rainy days, WHAT IF HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF ART

[spidergarfgirl]

WHY CANT I READ PPLS MINDS LIKE DO THEY LIKE ME OR NOT???

[nonbinaryeye]

I wanted to write very simple "Durge seeing Gortash fighting for a first time" for Gortash week day 3 but somehow it's evolving in kind of Hall of Wonders raid fanfic and it got awfully Durge centric...

[foulrests]

watching stuff from the hobbit makes me sad because e.l only agreed to play tauriel and go against the hate for playing an original character in a tolkien adaptation because they told her there would be no romance and love triangle, and yet...

[dolcevenus777]

it's not ab who calls you princess it's ab who treats you like one

[ishikawayukis]

weird fandom rant of the day but do people know what ship even stands for? as in like relationship???? why are they saying a canon couple is not a ship, like they are very much so in a relationShip, pleaaaaaaaaase i need people to stop being so stupid

[my3prettyboys]

I love the idea of possessive Rafe, but I also love the Rafe that shares you with Barry, to show him how much of a good girl you are, and shares you with Topper when Sarah breaks up with him, being like "Yes baby, help Topper relax", and over all he just loves showing his friends how much of a good little slut you are, but at the end of the day you're all his.