#Real Conversations

[homesweetgoodneighbor]

More Fun in BG3:

Super Spouse, upon returning from work: Still being a bane of goblins?

Me: I am having a fucking blast, dude! I put my folks in the rafters and any who survive my arrows and come looking for me walk right into my people hiding at the top of the ladder.

Him: So, what did they do?

Me: You'll find out.

Him: Gotcha. Just don't go overboard.

Me: It's not my fault they need correcting. They should try not being little dicks.

I find a room in the goblin camp filled with explosive barrels.

Him: That looks like a lot of traps.

Me, walking into the room: Or it's ones I can move and set around various places and blow up...

The barrels explode killing all but one of my party members.

Me: ...Or they could blow me to Mars.

Him, laughing his ass off: Or it could be the lit torch you walked in with.

Me: Basic physics in a DnD game?! Shut your mouth!

Him, still laughing: And you wonder why that airship blew up that one session.

Me teleporting to camp: WITHERS! WIIIITHEEEERS! We had an accident!

[heartoflesh]

"Things don't have to end, but they can't stay the same." "Ok. Let me die then."

Excerpts from a book I'll never write, William

[sherlockholmes-asscheeks]

For context, I used this “which Sherlock character are you” filter on the clock app (TikTok) and it would simply not give me any other character than Moriarty lmao

@sofreakinmanyfandoms here’s to 11+ years of chaos with more to come lmao

[sarahifox]

My Passion Project

Nearly two years ago, I knew that I wanted to create a resource so that others can heal. In January of 2021, I received an unexpected bipolar diagnosis which caused me to face my pain. Rough Edges was born out of that pain. In creating this podcast, I learned to embrace my brokenness in order to use it to heal others. Not only did this platform create a safe space for me to heal, it also allowed…

[rebelbyrdie]

At dinner with friends from school. I am old, they are old. The last person we ever expected to reproduce in our friend group brought their 5 year old (who is named after a Firefly charecter because we are forever nerds) along.

This following conversation 100% happened and is why my wife says I am not allowed to babysit my niece.

Mom Friend: Tell them what you said about Mommy.

Spawn: That she's fattest so I would eat her first.

Everyone in Olive Garden: ...

Me: Well, Spawn. Please remember that when cooking a fatty meat you're gonna want to use a crock pot because that will make it taste the best.

Mom Friend: Kinda. She's frighteningly logical about this. I asked her if she wanted me to still be alive and she said-

Spawn: Yeah. I will eat you really slowly.

Mom Friend: Starting with my fingers.

Me: Fingers and toes in the air fryer, Spawn. It will be like chicken tenders.

Mom Friend: I really miss you guys! (She loves in MN but is back in TN for holidays)

Bestie: I'm texting this whole conversation to your wife.

Me: You have obviously not heard about the great Baby-Turducken Debate of 2020.

Mom Friend: I need to know.

Mom Friend's Husband: If the rest of you had kids we would have a pack of tiny serial killers on our hands. Thank God for homosexuality of student loan debt.

Bestie: Our History teacher used to say the same thing. The serial killer part, I mean.

Me: He also told me to stop taking credit for assassinations that happened before I was born.

Olive Garden Server: ...

Bestie's Husband: I promise the tip is worth the trauma of this table.

[whaledocboi]

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

[endreal]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Can’t spell “Five nights at Freddy’s” without GAY

(Based off @/flashcs5 post)

[anna-scribbles]

adrien in my outfit from a few days ago✨ feat. my claws out converse

bonus:

[that-dumbass-rabbit]

My mom: Wait did I tell you about when this thing happened?

Me: uh no?

Mom: so yesterday when

Me: oh yeah you told me that

[thatonedudeinthecorner]

Happy pride month to these two specifically I can’t believe that Merthur is real

[theaceofarrows]

[Nightwing and Red Hood on a stake out outside a convenience store]

Nightwing: [watching the back] See anything yet?

Red Hood: [watching the front] A lady just bought $75 worth of cookies and two gallons of milk

Nightwing: Wow. Cookie Monster in disguise

Red Hood: Didn't know Cookie was a thirty something year old woman. Very good disguise

Nightwing: That's the point. He hides in plain sight

Red Hood: Sure, if you say so

[Half hour later]

Red Hood: Any changes from your side?

Nightwing: Other than me wanting a cookie? No

[thinkscholar]

Corporate Persona vs. Authentic Self: Navigating Genuine Connections in the Workplace

Dive into the complexities of interpersonal relationships in the corporate world. Explore how our behavior shifts between work and personal environments, and why authentic connections seem scarce in the office.

The hard truth about the corporate world we rarely talk about. In the corporate world, we try to form relationships with people who are good at their work and our behavior is completely different with them as compared to our behavior towards people who we know are not doing good at work. We are so fast at creating judgment towards people who don’t seem to be doing work properly or not coming out…

[quantumshade]

there's an interesting thing rtd said from the commentary about the "real mom" line:

i get not liking the line but like. it's an intentional mistake and an intentional character choice, and something we'll return to in the future, and that seems like important context to have when talking about the episode.

[rebelbyrdie]

Wifey: We're a trope.

Me: Naw.

Wifey: Blonde and brunette.

Me: Coincidence.

Wifey: Goth and pink gays. Butch and femme. Stoic and bubbly. Book smart and street smart.

Me: I feel called out.

Wifey: we are fanfic charecters! Someone is writing this.

Me: No?

Wifey: We are God's OCs.

Me: ...