#Rachel Cameron

[g-girlshavingfun]

December Prompts

7) Bitter Coffee - Rachel x Joe

About a month after the events of DJGC, Rachel turns up at Joe’s cabin for a catch up before she plans to fly to London. (2,569)

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Five minutes before Rachel arrived at his cabin, Joe started preparing coffee.

She hadn’t let him know she was coming, but she wasn’t trying to hide it either. The cameras on the freeway nearby had picked up the numberplate of her own Range Rover as it took the turning towards his place. Sound sensors placed along the gate blocking his drive from the road picked up the tell-tale squeak of it being opened, no attempt being made to dampen or disguise the sound. The motion alarm system operating on the long driveway through the trees was blaring with activity. He could hear her tires on the gravel track, her heels on his wooden porch steps, the wrap of her knuckle on the old door.

He pulled a shirt over his head, sweaty from his workout despite the chill and frost in the air, and pulled the door open, a small smile already gracing his face.

His heart thudded in his chest. Rachel looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, large doe eyes and porcelain skin, hair falling in waves around her chin, kind smile and kinder heart, but today her face was flushed from the cold, snowflakes dancing in the darkness of her hair, eyes brightening with something at the sight of him. She looked stunning. A grin was plastered on her face, polite greeting lingering on her lips. She welcomed herself inside, wrapping a strong arm around his neck in a quick side hug, one of his own settling briefly round her back, savouring the brief feeling of holding her in his arms, hating himself for how his heart jumped in his chest at the sight of her, the feel of her body heat, the scent of her head.

He stepped back. When it came to her, distance had always been his ally.

Back turning to her, he made his way through the little cabin to the kitchen where he had set out two cups of coffee. One decorated with tractors and hay bales, a gift from Matt, already laden with milk and two sugars, the other affectionately labelled I’m with stupid and adorned with an arrow pointing up, a gift from Abby, left black and bitter. Rachel followed behind him, silently removing the snow soaked scarf and coat which covered her oversized sweatshirt, a navy number Joe recognised as one of his. He swallowed, eyeing her in the reflection of the window, still breathless by the sight of her.

“You just get back from a run?” She was eyeing his attire with mirth, his legs now blue with the cold under his shorts, one of Matt’s old baseball tees being the first thing he could find to throw on. It was too small for him, hem falling exactly at the level of his shorts, riding up when he reached into the cupboard for the bags of M&Ms he keeps stored there, sleeves fitting snug around his shoulders and biceps, the material tight on his chest. “You didn’t have to get all dressed up for me.”

His attention flickered back to her at her tone. It was light and airy, traces of her grin still lingering on her lips, proof of her amusement glinting in her eyes. She sounded almost like her sister. Her gazed trailed up from his legs, lingering on his shorts, then trailed up his arms and down his shoulders. Swallowing, her smile wavered when she recognised the logo on the shirt, the glint in her eyes darkening when she recognised it as Matt’s. A deep breath rattled through her, lip caught between her teeth. Joe hadn’t meant to upset her.

He shrugged, “Got to look good for the boss.”

Humming in something like agreement, the smile returned to her face when he handed her her coffee, gulping back at least half of it immediately. Neck extended back, chin tilted up, she wrapped her lips around the rim and swallowed deeply, oblivious to how he couldn’t blink, couldn’t look away couldn’t breathe. He took a sip from his own drink, relishing the way the heat burned through him, cleansed him.

“What’s up?” They took a seat in the sitting room, both aiming for the small couch but pausing when they reached it, Joe subtly re-angling his body towards the armchair. “Thought you’d be with Cameron by now.”

Rachel had tensed when they reached the couch, had relaxed when she sat amongst the assorted cushions alone, then tensed again at the mention of her daughter. Her face betrayed her thoughts. Softened though it was at the thought of her, her anxieties over Cammie’s future, her safety, bled through. Although her mouth was closed, Joe could see the way her teeth had clamped down on the inside of her cheek, how her tongue was pressed hard into the roof of her mouth. Eyebrows drawn together by the concerned frown that started brewing across her features, she angled her head lower to hid the worry on her face behind her hair, disguising the move as reaching down to adjust her shoe. A deep breath, and she lifted her head again, all signs of stress vanquished and only the soft smile so often associated with her daughter left on her face.

“She’s safe with the Baxters.” Joe had never suggested she wasn’t, never thought she wasn’t, but he let Rachel reassure herself of this under the guise of reassuring him. He let her have that. “Abby and I are flying out in a couple days.”

That’s new.

Since Matt’s disappearance, his death, Abby had spent most of her Christmas’ working or hiding, the one exception being the year she turned up on his doorstep in drunken floods of tears, endless apologies pouring out of her mouth and refusing to let him touch her. He figured it was a good sign that Rachel had finally convinced her to spend the holidays with her family again instead of her guilt, though the festivities being held in London rather than Nebraska might have had something to do with it.

“Besides, I wanted to check on you before we go.” She smiled at him again, the near image of her younger sister, eyes saying words he couldn’t quite translate.

Something melted in him at her words, her smile, her kindness, warmth spreading through him and leaving goosebumps up his arms. His chest felt tight, like he couldn’t breath, but not in a painful way, more like he didn’t need to breath while she was looking at him like that. Her concern over him was touching, but he didn’t deserve it. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he returned her smile, bashfully diverting his gaze to the floor lest the look on her face start causing his cheeks to redden.

“I’m good,” The words were soft, barely a whisper, met by a hum and a sip of coffee in response. Throat clearing, his tone turned back to professional stoicism. “I’ve got an asset in the Middle East to track down,” he nodded to the notes and maps strewn across the coffee table, M&Ms scattered amongst them, “and I told Zach I’d meet up with him a few weeks.”

“How is Zach?”

Angry. Scared. Alone. So much like Joe was at that age it made him sad, and yet so different, so much better, it made him proud.

“Alright.” He didn’t make Rachel wait long for what she really wanted to know. As much as Rachel was kind to the boy as a favour to Joe, as much as she was fondly amused by his attempts to charm Cammie, Joe knew that part of her was still thinking like an operative, was concerned with how Zach was useful more than how he was. “He hasn’t heard anything from Catherine or the rest of them.” She bit her lip again. He continued, knowing that a small part of her, much smaller than the part of Abby but part of her all the same, thought that he was dangerous. Thought that his presence in Cammie’s life was dangerous. Was putting her at more risk. “I told him to keep his distance over the winter. He knows his mother keeps an eye out for him, he wont do anything to put Cameron at risk.”

Joe’s thoughts strayed to 20 years ago. Wondered if he had kept a similar distance from Matt, if Matt had kept a similar distance from Rachel, would they be safer now? He’s sure that they would, sure that all the hardship the Morgan family had suffered through could be traced back to the day he made a confession to his best friend, asked him for help. He wondered if anything he ever does will ever atone for that.

Sipping again from his drink, he let the bitterness wash over him, tickling his throat and mingling with the acid in his stomach. She mimicked him, her coffee sweeter though still strong, warming and comforting where his was harsh and jolting.

Fitting, he mused to himself.

“How is Abby? I haven’t spoken to her since…” Since she was shot, since she almost died. Since she kissed him, since she implied she did it to make Rachel… jealous?

Another indecipherable look passes over her face at his question. Head cocked slightly to one side, eyes inquisitive like she’s trying to read his mind. “Alright.” Something in her relaxes when all he does is nod. A deep breath fights its way out of her chest through her mouth, she nods slowly to herself, nose crinkling slightly as her thoughts stray to her little sister. “Yeah she’s alright, looks better. She’s back in the sling though. Her shoulder popped back out the socket at the end of her undercover op, but it should finish healing up over the holidays.”

“That’s good.” It was good. Abby had looked a little like death warmed over and painted with a smile last time Joe had seen her.

“Hmm,” Theres that look again, that question in her eyes like its abnormal for him to be concerned about a friend he’s known half her life. “She’s going to be hard to convince to take it easy though, I just heard that The Circle member in lockup, the shooter, started talking this afternoon so I’m-“

“What?”

What?

His heart froze in his chest, air in his lungs turning to cement, brain short circuiting then rebooting again all at once. He remembers the man with the gun from DC. Pale hair and snarling face. Wiry limbs and impeccable aim. Remembers him from school. Well made bed and pristine uniform. Poor gym scores made up for by his target practice. Remembers him from his early days in The Circle. Angry and determined. Lonely and violent.

If he’s started talking, Joe may not be safe here, Rachel may not be safe here. If that man gives Langley Joe’s name then they’ll be questions to answer. The people Joe has known longest, the only people other than Matt he let get close to him, will come under scrutiny. Abby’s history will probably get her in the clear quite quickly. She’s worked with CIA, with Interpol, with MI6 tirelessly over the last few years on mostly sanctioned missions to root out Circle members, and the organisation had made more attempts to kill her than anyone else still alive. But before his death Matt made sure to keep Rachel far removed from their business, and afterwards she removed herself in order to stay near Cammie, if Joe’s name gets leaked there will be people from high up, idiots, who will have questions for her.

Maybe he can turn himself in, make sure they understand, make sure they know she never had anything to do with it. They may be more likely to believe him if he goes willingly. No matter how much it hurts to picture the betrayal on Rachel’s face when she learns the truth, how she’ll hate him, how she’ll finally believe him when he says he’s to blame for Matt’s death, if the truth’s coming out anyway this may be the best way to protect her.

But how can he protect Cammie?

If he turns himself in, he’ll never see the light of day again. He can live with that. God knows it’s what he deserves for what he’s done to this family. But until they know why The Circle are after Cammie, until they’ve been stopped, until she’s safe again, Joe can’t be indisposed. He has to protect her. He promised Matt. He promised Rachel.

He’ll have to run. It will make him look guilty. They’ll send teams of operatives after him, operatives that he knows and has worked with and may even be friends with. They could send Abby to track him down. She’ll be furious with him, she’ll hate him. She’ll be hurt and betrayed and wont listen if he tries to explain. The younger of the Cameron sisters had always been quick to anger, burning hot and fast like a sparkler on a short fuse.

He’ll go into hiding, just while the heat dies down. Then maybe he can track down some of Matt’s old journals, something that explains what he did, why they did it. Maybe they’ll be something in there that explains what The Circle want with Cammie. Maybe he can protect her and salvage the only functioning relationships he has in one go. Maybe if he can save her she’ll forgive him, maybe Zach will forgive him.

‘-Joe? Are you okay? Did you hear what I said?”

Rachel will never forgive him.

It was a painful truth to come to realise, cutting through his flesh and burning through his heart. The kindness, the concern she was showing him now, the delicate hand she lay on his and the worried frown that graced her features would become cold. He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to cry. He needed to leave but if this was the last time he was going to see her, see her like this, he wanted to savour it. Drink her in. Fill his lungs with her.

“Sorry Rach,” Questions flinched across her face, he never called her Rach. “I just remembered I have to go.” He downed the rest of his coffee, the bitterness of it turning to ash in his mouth, and stood. She took his lead cautiously, following him to the door and redressing for the cold. “My asset is supposed to check in at a payphone across town soon.”

They paused at the door, Joe’s heart thumping in his chest, breaking for the pain he’s about to put her through.

“Merry Christmas Rachel, give my love to the girls.”

I’m sorry. I love you.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, drawing him in close and tight. The warmth of her spread through his body, every inch of them touching. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to ever let go.

“Merry Christmas Joe.” Slowly, she pressed a light kiss to his cheek, pulling back ever so slightly. His hands still hovered around her waist, her’s still perched on his shoulders, but they stood face to face now, eyes locked and breath shared. A moments hesitation, Joe’s heart in his mouth and his blood pooling to his feet, and then she pulled away completely, sending him another soft smile as she walked out the door and unknowingly out of his life.

“Bye.”

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Authors note:

Rachel: trying to flirt

Joe: Hmm she sounds like Abby

Rachel: checking him out

Joe: Hmm she is thinking about Matt

[cammie-morgan-goode]

What do you think Rachel felt when she foubd out Joe was part of the circle?

I’m sure it was very shocking.

This man that she’s known for a hot minute. Her husband’s best friend. Someone she no doubt admired.

I think she felt betrayed. How could he be involved in this terrorist organization? How could he have not told her?

I’m sure she also had so many questions that went unanswered until he woke up from that coma.

How could she have allowed her daughter to be around him? How could she have allowed him to teach her? And more importantly, her own daughter was in danger and could he be responsible for it?

I think she was confused and disoriented. I think the only thing she wanted to know was why? Why did he do it? Why would he do it?

Not to mention the fact that her husband died at the hands of that organization. I’m sure that hurt more than anything.

I think she honestly grieved over it. This man she had trusted. This man she looked up to. This man she admired. This man she might have let herself think about a future with.

A double agent.

That’s a whole new type of heartbreak.

[the-witch-of-woods-beyond]

overhated female characters mean the world to me and i will protect them with my life because fandoms have no right to judge them for acting like someone who went through unimaginable trauma and call them annoying for their understandable behavior.

[g-girlshavingfun]

One of my favourite one shots that I reread constantly btw

Ok, so I don't write. I have never written a fanfic. This doesn't have a name and it's probably poorly written. It's Rachel's point of view around the time of Cammie's second kidnapping attempt. I was bored and I had this idea stuck in my head so here it is. I debate not even posting it but what the hey🤷🏼‍♀️

@averagejoesolomon you totally got me hooked on the Rachel only calls Matt, Matthew. So all the credit to you on that one!

This whole thing is basically read at your own risk. Haha

Just like that, what she had left of her world was crumbling. It happened so quickly. Rachel hadn't seen what had happened. She just knew that one moment she had been talking to Cynthia McHenry and the next she felt her instincts as an operative hit her like a swift punch to the gut.

Something was wrong. She looked around the ballroom looking for Cammie but she didn't see her. She didn't see any of her freinds or even that Goode boy. Never one to be dissuaded from her mission, she  decided to look for Abby. She at least she might know where her neice was.

As much as her sister annoyed her, she was happy to have her back in her life. However temporary it might be. She was aware how an operative's life gets crazy. She knew her sister was dedicated but she didn't know how far they would be pulled apart when she stepped out of the field after Matthew's passing. They had just recently talked about why there hadn't been much contact between the two of them in recent years. Why Abby had walked farther away from Rachel and Cammie and deeper into her various covers. Rachel knew the guilt the came with losing Matthew. The countless nights that kept her up thinking about what might have happened if she told if him to stay home. If she had pulled the "wife card" and asked him not to keep secrets. She knew that Abby had been hurt. Rachel had never lived through anything harder. It didn't surprise her that everyone else who also loved him felt the same. When he died there was a very real whole in each of their hearts. She had suspected Abby just didn't know how to miss Matthew with her. After all, her sister had never been one to grieve in front of others. Rachel hadn't know just how deep routed her sister's guilt and regret had dragged her. Rachel regretted not going to get her baby sister back sooner after Matthew's passing but she hadn't wanted to press Abby too hard in a time of grief for both of them.

Now, if only she could FIND HER.  Her sister always had a knack for being where she wasn't supposed be. So, if Rachel could think if the most inconvenient spot for someone to be she might find her.

When she had finished looking around the ballroom the hair on the back of her neck started to stand on end. She felt a cold sweat start. Her blouse was too tight. She pulled at her collar and silently chastised herself being so obviously uncomfortable. Rachel wanted to tell her instincts to shut up, that nothing was wrong. She knew better though, something was off.

She felt eyes. She pretended to check her make-up in a small compact while checking behind her. She locked on a familiar pair of green eyes staring back at her. Of course he was there. She had just checked the whole room and hadn't spotted him once. If Joe was about to poke fun about her being off now was not the time. When she turned to face him she realized that he wore an expression just as grim as her own.

"You got the same sick feeling in your gut?"

Before she could respond something seemed to dawn on Joe.

"Where's Cammie, Rachel?"

"I don't know. I've been looking for her, or her roommates. Even Abby."

"Zach". Joe mumbled the boy's name. "He's probably with her, right? Did you see them slip out?"

"No, well maybe, but if I knew that I wouldn't be so gosh darn worried now would I, Joseph?!" She hadn't meant to snap but she was feeling worse by the second. Now her instincts seemed to be at work on her stomach.

When the shot went off they didn't question where it had come from. They didn't need to wait for some sort of command. Old habits did truly die hard.  They were across the ballroom in seconds. Not drawing the attention of a single onlooker. They slipped out the back door into a dark ally. The Circle. They were there. Beside her Joe started to speak into thier comms unit. There was a big problem. Rachel looked for Cammie. She was being snagged back down the ally, toward the safety of the door by Zach. Neirher of them was bleeding. She was able to breath agian. The bullet could have been a warning shot. It didn't feel that way though. Where did it land?

She brought herself back to the scene. They were after her daughter and she had to protect her daughter. The kids were fighting like operatives. That was something the headmistress in her couldn't have missed and was quietly proud of. Now only if they could all get out of it. Other gallagher girls rushed out beside her, ready for the fight, ready to protect Cammie.

The second that Rachel could she ran at Cam. Yelling Cammie's name she threw herself against her daughter, deeper into the shadows of other gallagher girls. Farther into safety. Only after the immediate securing of Cammie did Rachel realize that people were still screaming. It was Macey standing over.....

Abby. Abby. Abigail. She knew Cammie was secured. Joe would help make sure of it. She needed to get to her sister. She needed to help her sister. She was bleeding from the shoulder, there was so much blood pooling beneath her. Rachel couldn't breathe. She couldn't catch her breathe. Rachel had always been cool under fire; a natural operative. This felt so different. The operative in her was mad for missing the fight. For not getting there in time. The mother in her was scared and hurting for her daughter. The sister in her felt cheated and so very crushed. She couldn't lose Abby on top of everything else. Her heart beat to one terrible pulse-  She was not ready to lose anymore family. She dropped to her knees beside her sister. She didn't know if she had told Macey to go back to her roommates but she got up and walked away. Rachel pressed some leather jacket into her sister's wound. She didn't realize that she was crying until she saw her own tears falling on Abby's face. Rachel was screaming. She really. couldn't. breath. She heard screaming and crying in the background. Cammie. She couldn't take this or rather she didn't want to. Her sister way dying in front of her and her daughter was being emotionally tormented. She debating getting up, but she couldn't stop crying. She didn't want Cammie to see her so emotionally distraught and she couldn't bring herself to her feet. Cammie would have to be strong.

Joe was on the seeminly knew what she was thinking because instead of coming toward Abby he commanded the women around Cammie. Keeping her safe. Cammie's sobbing became softer. Rachel's didn't.

She didn't get up when the paramedic team arrived. She wasn't going to leave Abby. She couldn't lose her. She didn't feel like a good operative in control. She felt like a big sister, weak from all that crying. She felt Joe behind her. Pulling her up from her knees. Trying to tell her to let go of Abby's hand. She forced Joe to let go of her arms. Desperate to be the one who fixed it. To do something, anything. All she could do was tell the medic what she saw, and tell Abby that she was going to be ok.

When she turned back around he was there. Teary but not crying yet.

"She's strong. She'll pull through". He tried to reassure her but his voice shook. His hand on her arm felt unsteady. Joe never cried. It was going to be a long night. She had to keep busy. She went to check on her daughter. She couldn't lose any more of her family. 

Rachel saw the footage. She knew in that it all happened in a few minutes. It felt like this night would never end. She watched that security footage obsessively outside of her office, sitting on the corridor floor with her head on the wall, right underneath Gilligan's sword. Cavan's sword. Maybe Abby was right. They should have thrown it in the lake. Her daughter was asleep inside her office, away from danger for now. Abby was in surgery. Abby might of died. Abby could still die. Every time she let herself linger on that fact she felt like crying all over again. So, she didn't let herself think of it. She watched the security clip again waiting and watching for a clue. Something. She couldn't truly focus on it though. She was too tired or emotionally distraught. It didn't matter the reason, she knew that a truly great operative had to know when to wave her white flag. In that moment she didn't even feel a little guilty about turning off the video.

Joe stepped out of her office. She did a double take, the last time she had seen him look that way was the night he told her about Matthew. He had been crying. Joe Solomon does not cry. There he was though. He face was streaked eith tears and his shoulders shook slightly. She braced herself for the worse but he just stood there. He looked awful. She moved forward to give him a hug. She couldn't help herself, she started crying again too. Rachel hated to cry in front of anyone but she figured that this secret was safe with him, just like any of the other she had shared with him.  She was thankful that she had a freind in him. Thankful that someone else loved Cammie and was willing to fight for her. 

After a moment they separated and sat down on the corridor floors.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I'm so so sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"Joe. After everything that's happened tonight, we are not going over this again..  Its not your fault". Joe started to cry again. Rachel hadn't seen Joe cry so much. She couldn't resist asking him

"What?"

He looked at her pitifully. "You don't know whats my fault, belive me. I.... I think you should think it's my fault."

She wasn't suprised that he was saying these things. She knew of course that he felt guilty. Matt went on the mission he was supposed to. She just wished that he didn't get so hung up on it.

He continued "This never would have happened if Matt were here. He would have taken care of it, you know?"

Of course she didn't know that to be true but she had felt it as well. She didn't want to dwell on what it could have been so she told him that they didn't know that. That he couldn't control who the director sent on that mission. The circle might have come after Cammie even if Matt was alive. Matthew was just a human being, who made mistakes. They didn't know if Matthew being alive would change everything. Joe didnt seem convinced though and Rachel couldn't blame him. It was well worn territory in a familiar conversation. They didnt truly fight, but when it came to blame about Matthews death they didn't exactly see eye to eye. Rachel thought about Matt. It struck her though that as bad as it was at times it could also be worse. Rachel thought about losing Cammie or Abby or even Joe and shuddered. She didn't want to lose anymore family.

She tried to reassure him

"Hey, it will be ok. We will take care of it together ok? We'll all take care of one another. We will do the best we can. Just promise me we will try. Ok?"

Joe had stopped crying but his attention seemed to be drifting.

"I'll try...ok?" It sounded so defeated. Rachel didn't want to press him further. Everyone had already had such a rough night. She let the conversation go until he quipped.

"I feel like I should be telling you these things."

They couldn't help each giving a small laugh

They sat there. They waited for a doctor to come tell them that Abby would make it. They sat and waited for Cammie to wake up. Theorized ways to keep her out of harms way. They talked about surviving. All of them. Together.

Rachel rested in knowing that at least for that day. She wasn't losing any more family. 

[lilamausmaus]

[desire-mona]

who is the most normal, well adjusted person in house? feel free to debate but keep it civil

[legliquor666]

The 30 celebrities whose legs I would lick, toes I would suck on, and heels I would sniff.

[lostsyren]

Not getting the rafesofia deleted scenes is the same pain I felt last year when we didn’t get the extended cut of tbosas– I really lose everytime :(

[gildengirl]

This ^^^

I cannot articulate how perfect this analysis is. For Rachel, but also for Abby. Specifically the whole "nah, I'm the aunt who's had my fair share of leather jacket wearing smirking green eyed cuties at her age and I smell trouble and I'm going to say something about it" part. Like yes, 100%. The interaction on the train in DJGC always made me think that, as well as Abby's character in general. And not to bring up another kind of GG—but if anyone's familiar with Gilmore Girls it feels similar to Lorelai's initial feelings towards Jess because he reminds her of the kind of guy who would've broken her heart at that age. (I get such strong Lorelai Gilmore vibes from Abigail Cameron, or maybe it's the other way around but that could be an entire post in itself haha.)

However, I also think she warned Cammie to stay away from Zach because of the fact that Catherine is his mother, and because of that and Blackthorne he was connected to The Circle. Also, not to go to far down the Abby and Townsend rabbit hole, but we know that they knew each other for at least two years prior to the whole train scene in DJGC and we know that Townsend was working non-stop towards taking down The Circle and killing/stopping Catherine. So I kinda headcanon that maybe in the years Abby was gone she was working with him to help track The Circle, maybe as a way of dealing with Matt's death, looking for the same answers he was (again my thoughts on that could be it's own post). Which I think could explain her initial reaction to Zach being so close to Cammie, maybe she's seen first hand the consequences of being close to The Circle, we know she saw that in Matt's case, and she'll never let herself forget that.

Which I also think explains what Abby says right before she tells Cammie to stay away from Zach, after Cammie breaks down and calls out Abby for leaving as asks her why she left and where she was and we get this:

"Why weren't you there when we needed you?" "Haven't you learned yet, Cam?" Abby's voice was softer now, as if she were being dragged back into a dream. "There are some things you don't want to know."

If it wasn't already clear that this scene broke my heart and I will never get over it, then I hope it is now. But going back to Abby's feelings towards Zach, we know they change over the series, even by the end of DJGC, Abby hands Cammie Zach's jacket with the note (which she totally knew was in there, come on, she's a super-spy and an aunt) so she's starting to come around. And I think her feelings change for the same reason Rachel's do: Zach's not The Circle, he's not his mother, and most importantly he is so in love with Cammie and he wants to keep her safe. And idk, maybe Zach reminds Abby of someone she loves.... 👀

So, first of all, ummm thank you?? I teared up when I first read this, and definitely did while responding too. Also, thanks for your patience in literally a whole year for this? AND, I’m sorry, I didn’t quite write a fic for it, just some more general musings on the subject? I’m gonna dive quite a bit more into Rachel/Zach and all of the adults with Zach in my little baby Zach series, so I hope that answers more of this, when the time comes but for now...

So, I think I share the same sentiments as many that by the end of UWS, Rachel has grown to love Zach quite a bit. He’s one of her ducklings, one of the many people she cares deeply and strongly for. 

However, I think she absolutely had similar thoughts as Abby for quite awhile - she just approached them in a sort of way only Mom Rachel Morgan could. And maybe she didn’t trust Zach because of his mom, or his school, or a long list of reasons, but I honestly think it comes down to one very simple thing:

He was a teenage boy. 

And like, I don’t think Rachel was gonna be head over heels about her daughter seeing Zach, or any boy for that matter - BUT she’s Rachel and knows that it’s pointless to tell her daughter (or any of those girls) no about something like seeing a boy. I mean, basically the first rule of teenage girlhood is to absolutely date the bad boy your parents tell you you’re forbidden to see. And maybe her and Abby discussed this - maybe they discussed it all. The mom, the school, the badboy of it all. Maybe Abby saw Rachel taking her little more lax approach (see why, below) and Abby said "nah, I'm the aunt who's had my fair share of leather jacket wearing smirking green eyed cuties at her age and I smell trouble and I'm going to say something about it."

Also, it’s not like Rachel has paperwork to do, or a whole giant school to run, or you know, this guy from her past who’s comparable to Indiana Jones all up in her business (who has his own secrets she wants to know BTW), but no, that’s not enough - she just had to spend an entire semester pretending like her daughter wasn’t sneaking out to see a boy, falling in love, and getting heartbroken. 

Which leads me to - Rachel just watched her daughter fall in love for the first time and then get her heart hurt. Why? Because she wanted to do this job more, than have a normal life with a boy. So, who is she to stand in the way of a boy Cammie could be with, if that’s what she wanted? A boy who knows her school and this life and dances a pretty mean waltz and hold on, did he just make her laugh actually? 

I think Zach being inside those walls, under her nose, with The Joe Solomon stamp of approval (I mean, who all have truly, really gotten this stamp? Matthew Morgan and....? Yeah. that's what I thought.) was all it really took to be honest. Did she jump for joy and open her arms immediately? No. She's Rachel. I think she had to do what Rachel does - learn more, observe, and most importantly, trust her gut. 

I think that when she looks at Zach, she gets a little sliver of open doorway into a part of Joe she doesn’t get to see often. I think she’s reminded that you are not your family if you don’t want to be, that your past doesn’t dictate your future, that first impressions can be misleading. I think Zach surprises Rachel, just like Joe did, and continues to surprise her, and surprising Rachel Morgan is impressive, and no easy feat. 

But, the most important thing that I think of in terms of Rachel approving of Zach?

She watched that kid fall head over heels in love with her daughter - protect her, defend her, risk everything to save her and be with her, breakdown because of her - but still get up and fight for her...

Rachel loves Zach because Zach loves Cammie, and it's as simple as that at the end of the day 💙

[samantitheos]

Sir, please tell your eyes and your whole entire face to calm the hell down.

[ruewrote]

𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑖 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟.

OUTER BANKS.

jj maybank, rafe cameron, pope heyward, sarah cameron

SURVIVING SUMMER.

baxter radic, marlon sousa

THE WALKING DEAD.

benjamin (twd), glenn rhee, rick grimes, daryl dixon

SCHOOL SPIRITS.

wally clark

911.

evan buckley

MARVEL.

peter parker (all), captain america

TOP GUN.

jake seresin, bradley bradshaw, robert floyd, natasha trace

LIFE IS STRANGE.

chloe price, warren graham, rachel ambers, ryan lucan, alex chen, steph gingrich

RED DEAD REDEMPTION.

arthur morgan, sadie adler

THE DOLAN TWINS.

grayson dolan, ethan dolan

SHAMELESS.

lip gallagher

THE MAZE RUNNER.

minho, thomas, gally

THE QUARRY.

jacob custos, max brinly, nicholas furcillo

UNTIL DAWN.

josh washington, jessica riley, mike munroe, emily davis, sam giddings, ashley brown, chris hartley, matthew taylor

TEEN WOLF.

stiles stilinski

THE HUNGER GAMES.

cato hadley, peeta mellark

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA.

katsuki bakugou, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, keigo takami, touya todoroki

CELEBRITY CRUSHES.

dylan obrien, will poulter, archie madekwe, jeon jungkook, park jimin, josh hutcherson, rudy pankow, drew starkey, tom holland, milo manheim.

[g-girlshavingfun]

December Prompts

29) A safe house - Abby & Rachel

While on an assignment in Bahrain, 8 years before the events of LYKY, Rachel and Abby disagree on the group’s next move after one of their cover’s is blown. (3,035)

———————————————————————

“Well that went well.” Her sister’s dry amusement greeted them as they stumbled through the safe house door, Joe unsteady on his feet and Rachel stooped by the weight of him pressing against her shoulder.

“Don’t Abigail.” A warning lingered in her voice, the adrenaline of the last couple hours still coursing through her veins and making her temper spark. Matthew swooped towards them and took Joe’s other arm over his back, the two of them supporting the staggering man towards the couch where he collapsed next to Abby. Her husband immediately started attending to the blood pouring down his friend’s face, the lump brewing on his forehead, the grimace bubbling across his mouth. In an effort to help, Rachel fetched the first aid kit from the small kitchen, dampened a cloth with water and passed Matthew a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a cloth. He took it with a grateful smile, his eyes scanning her own body for similar injuries, worry dancing across the crevices of his skin.

Meanwhile, her younger sister showed no such concern for their friend’s welfare, simply leaning towards him with a wicked grin painted on her face. Propped open on her thighs was a CIA issued laptop installed with connections to all the intelligence agencies in the western world and equipped with millions of dollars worth of surveillance technologies and coding capabilities.

She was using it to rewatch security footage of Joe falling down the stairs.

“Hey Joe, want to see this video I found of Bambi ice skating? Oh wait, that’s just you trying to make a discrete escape.”

“Rachel, I deeply dislike your sister.”

Abby cackled in his ear, replaying the video so he could watch his descent in all its glory. At the time, Rachel was sure that she hadn’t been laughing, was sure that she had armed herself with an arsenal of weapons and extraction tools the moment her and Matthew realised his cover was blown, was sure that she had been halfway across Manama when the cameras caught the unflattering view of Joe hitting his head against the bannister. However, now that the two of them had gotten away from the GDSSI splinter group and travelled safely across city, Abby beating them back and taking up an early residence on the couch, she clearly found his unfortunate slip to be the highlight of her life.

“Should I call Langley? I reckon we’re gonna have to head back and send a new team in a couple months, target them from a new angle. Joe’s cover’s blown and they might have seen you as well Rach.” Matthew’s worry leaked into his voice, accent growing stronger to reflect his building anxieties, tension bleeding into the hand applying pressure to Joe’s head and causing the man in question to wince. Abby rolled her eyes and nudged him to the side, taking over with the blood stained cloth with a much gentler hand and an incredulous look.

“Good thing we have two more people right here who can take over then.” Eyebrows climbing high up her face, she gestured slowly between herself and Matthew, voice slow as though she was talking to a child.

Matthew just shook his head. “It would take weeks for me to even build up a cover solid enough to work my way into their ranks. I would need months to get any information out of Al Bin Ali.”

“Hmmm. Give me three drinks and two hours.” She punctuated her declaration with a wink over her shoulder, standing from her crouched position and moving towards her bedroom. “I have a dress packed that’ll have him talking before Joe’s head stops bleeding.”

“No.”

After remaining largely silent since they arrived back to the safe house, thoughts preoccupied with the signs of a brain bleed and contingency plans and extraction protocols, Rachel lifted her voice and stopped her sister in her tracks. Her abrupt objection was met by a slightly agape mouth and the minuscule raise of a singular eyebrow, a tiny tilt of the head and a dangerous flicker of light in narrowing eyes. Rachel could hear her sister’s response before she even moved her mouth to verbalise it.

“No?”

A stern glare, a firm voice, a resolute stance. “No.” She looked to Matthew, directing her orders towards him as Abby continued to shoot her a challenging look and Joe frowned through the blood trickling down his skin. “Give Langley a call, we’ll drive south tomorrow morning and catch a boat across the Gulf. We can make it to Kuwait by Monday afternoon and catch a flight out from there.”

He began to move towards the phone immediately. Of the three of them, he was the best at following her orders. Not just because they were married, but also because he had the most respect for the hierarchy of CIA operatives, because he was the only one of them to consistently remember that she was the most senior agent there.

Her sister on the other hand, held no such space in her brain for that fact.

Snatching the phone before Matthew’s fingers could brush against it, she cocked her hip out and looked around the room in disbelief. “Hang on, that’s it? We’re not even going to discuss it?”

To anyone else, her tone voice gave away only shock and incredulity, the fledglings of a fight hanging onto the coattails of her words. But Rachel wasn’t just anyone else. She knew her sister like she knew the sun would rise and fall everyday, like she knew the ever-changing ground beneath their feet, like she knew the beat of her own heart. The brief tension in her jaw, the flickering of her eyes, the pitch of her voice, it all gave away the inkling of hurt that had taken root in Abby’s chest at Rachel’s protest. Not wanting to upset her sister any further, not wanting to escalate the situation to a fight, she tried to be gentle with her words.

“It’s too risky Abby.”

“How would you know?” A decade’s more experience for one. “You haven’t even heard my plan.”

“You don’t have a plan. You have an idea.” So much for being gentle. It was laughable though, the suggestion that Abby had actually decided on anything more than flirt with him until he slips up. A flush of admonished anger spread up her little sisters cheeks; clearly Rachel had her made. “Protocol dictates that we need to go back to base and regroup with our handlers and superiors before any more moves are made.”

“But I can-”

“Look, they’ll be on edge after today, they’ll be on the look out for moles within the group and suspicious of everyone-”

“They’re not going to be suspicious of me.”

“And you’re sure of that are you?”

“Yes.” Astonished laughter bubbled out of Rachel’s throat. It was just like her sister to be so cavalier, so arrogant. Enraged at her reaction, Abby spun on her heels where she had lurched forward to stand eye to eye with her advisory, towering over Joe and pinning him down with a fierce glare that had him wincing. “You. You’ve worked with me more than she has. You tell her. I can catch him in his bar tonight, loosen his tongue just enough that he gives up the name of whoever’s commissioned their group, then stick it out just long enough that he doesn’t catch on to what he’s done. He wont even remember what I look like. Right?”

Another wince, his gaze flickering between the two sisters before he settled his sights on Rachel with a regretful shrug. “She is remarkably good at that.”

She huffed. Rolled her eyes. Joe didn’t know half as much about Abby and how good she was as he thought he did. Unlike him, Rachel had seen her learn to lie, to deceive. Had seen her sister grow into her charm and her silver tongue, had watched her weaponise it against men and women, friends and foe, targets and civilians alike. She was perfectly aware of how easily Abby could bend a person to her will and twist their words into the ones she wants to hear just as they’re forming on their tongue, but that doesn't mean she’s going to let her take a stupid risk just for the sake of her pride.

Voice sharp, she admonished them both with a steely glare. “I don’t care. It’s reckless and half-assed and you’re just going to put yourself and us in danger.”

“No I’m not!”

��Will you listen to yourself? You sound like a child not getting her way-”

“No, you’re treating me like a child.”

“I’m treating you like a subordinate-”

“Subordinate?”

“-Who’s not experienced enough to take over as eyeball on an op like this. Who's too young and naive to make calls like this. Whose pride and arrogance and selfishness are going get someone hurt if she doesn’t learn to do things by the book!”

Rachel and Abby were sisters in more way than one. They were bound together by blood and guts and DNA, by their father’s absence and their mother’s nonchalance, by their school’s sisterhood and the stone walls that housed them. They were made from the same materials, the same stubbornness and strength stood where their bones should be, the same cacophony of family of honour of duty rang through their lungs in the place of oxygen. They were carved by the same hands, large but gentle soothing back their hair back as they cried, holding their fingers as they shook, weathered and firm grasping tight to the point of their chins, to the base of their necks. They were the same, even when they were so, so different. That meant her little sister was in some ways her best friend, and in others her worst enemy; they weren’t strangers to fighting.

When Abby was small, so was the lid on Rachel’s temper. A mirage of hormones and clumsy fingers and grief and the thoughtlessness of youth trimming back the fuse on their relationship so that all it took was a small spark for the fires of an argument to burn. As they grew, so did Rachel’s patience, but so did Abby’s ability to wind her up. By accident sometimes, but more often than not her teenage sister would grind her down with targeted jabs and incessant barbs fuels by the endless anger of being 15 until she couldn’t help but snap back. Something had mellowed between them once they were both settled into adulthood, arguments rarer and fights more scarce, but occasionally they still found themselves stood as they were now, nose to nose and rage to rage, screaming in a language that only the two of them could truly hear.

Throughout their lives, the story was always the same. Abby would float in and out of her periphery with a careless smirk or a teasing smile, whittling down her patience until even the deepest breaths couldn’t hold back a snide comment. She’d fall into her sister’s trap of engaging in a battle of wills and wits, the two of them entangled in one another’s biggest doubts and deepest insecurities until one of them pushed it an inch too far.

Usually Rachel.

Almost always Rachel.

Without ever meaning to, she’d nudge them both over the invisible line in sand, a line that seemed to drift and move with every passing of the tide, until Abby flinched violently away from her with a quivering look of pain in her eyes.

Unknowingly, Rachel seemed to have just crossed that line, her sister’s face creasing with pi and voice wavering with insecurity. “Selfish.” The whispered word made her soften; the step Abby took away from her made her wince. Maybe she went a bit far. “I’m trying to help.” She could feel Matthew cringe at the vulnerability creeping into Abby’s voice, her husband far too soft towards her little sister. Abby must’ve sensed it too, spinning on her heels and looking up at him with wide wet eyes, sounding remarkably similar to the little girl she once was as she pleaded up at him. “Matt? You know I can do this right?”

As quickly as it lived, Rachel’s guilt died.

She raised an eyebrow and glared at her husband, daring him to fall for such conspicuous manipulations in front of her. Out the corner of her eyes, she caught Joe grinning slightly into his lap at his friend’s predicament, clearly no longer bothered by the egg forming on his forehead.

Matthew gulped. Stuttered. Swung his eyes back and forth. Shook his head. “Nope, I’m not picking sides here. I’m Switzerland.”

“Yeah well Switzerland is married to America so you might want to rethink that position.”

“I’m sorry, are you calling me Germany in a World War 2 metaphor?”

Joe started laughing harder than she thought possible at that, Abby’s aghast tone summoning tears from the corner of his eyes. If Rachel weren’t so preoccupied stumbling through protests against her sister’s accusations, she might’ve worried about the severity of his inevitable concussion, the peels of laughter so uncharacteristic that they alluded to some kind of weird personality change. As it was, she banished all her worry and her anxieties and her disappointments to the back of her mind and simply shook her head, casting one more stern look to the source of her frustrations before turning away and making her way to the kitchen.

They had a second phone in there, she would call Langley herself.

“The mission’s over Abigail, that’s final.”

“We’ve been working on this for months Rach, I’m not turning in and giving up just because it suddenly got difficult.”

“Neither am I.” A sharp yell. A pregnant pause. A deep breath. “We’re going home because the risks now massively outweigh the rewards. The information you might get tonight isn’t worth whatever situation you’ll undoubtedly find yourself in when things go wrong.”

Unbidden, the image of her little sister at the hands of those men came to her mind. Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. Whether they uncovered her identity or not, they wouldn’t be gentle with her if given the chance, and there wouldn't be anything Rachel could do to protect her if things went that way. There was a reason Rachel very rarely took assignments with Abby. There was a reason she would never agree to send her sister into the field on this one. There was a reason it was supposed to only ever be Joe who made contact with the group.

The boys wouldn’t understand this, but there were worse fates for an operative than death.

Bracing herself against the counter as a wave of panic thudded through her heart and rattled against the walls of her chest, Rachel forced a gulp of air into her lungs. Her knees felt weak. Sweat was building at the base of her neck. Terror had twisted itself around her organs and was constricting like a python, squeezing tighter and tighter until the pain running through her bones was blinding. She felt sick.

Oblivious to her fears, her sister spoke up again, the strength and authority Rachel had lost somewhere along the way leaking from her tone.

Abby had always loved stealing her things.

“Why don’t we vote?” Rachel couldn’t help but scoff, shaking her head again where it hung between her shoulders. “Believe it or not Rachel, this isn’t a dictatorship, just because you have a few more years in the field than we do doesn’t automatically put you in charge.”

“Fine. Joe?” She spat the question out with a brief glare in her sister’s direction, spinning to face the man hunched over on the couch. Sometime during her brief breakdown, the humour had dripped off of his expression. He now eyed her with something like knowing, something like concern, something like an apology gleaming in his eye.

No. He wouldn’t be so stupid.

“I’m actually with Abby.” Clearly she had underestimated him. “She know’s what she’s doing Rach, I wouldn’t be supporting this if she didn’t.”

While the compliment filled Abby with air, a glimmer of pride blooming in her face and heels nearly lifting off the ground in glee, Rachel felt lead soaking into her shoes. Lungs solid in her chest, heart pounding mercilessly against her ribcage, blood thickening and pooling in her stomach, she suddenly felt a slow heaviness take over her.

Joe averted his eyes.

Coward.

“Matt?"

Her husband shuffled his feet in thought, took a deep breath, darted his eyes between her sister’s hopeful gaze and her own terrified glare. “Not tonight.” Somehow, his attempt at playing the middle man only disappointed them both. “Give it a couple days for the dust to settle, let us come up with a proper plan.”

Abby deflated slightly, the beginnings of a protest forming on her lips, but a stern look from Matthew halted the words forming in her throat. Instead she nodded, smiled slightly. She had gotten her way again. Meanwhile, Rachel felt the bones holding her together liquify under her skin, the pillars holding her up quaking with the force of her anger, her betrayal, her terror. She expected her voice to be weak when it tumbled out her mouth, thick with emotion and trembling with worry, but she remained stoic, hiding the depths of her reaction behind a thick wall of steel determination.

��I already told you. You’re not doing this.”

Neither Matthew nor Joe would look at her. Truthfully, it only fuelled her anger more, red hot rage coursing through her veins and igniting the hairs on her skin. If they were going to go against her plan, if they were going to stab her in the back, if they were going to go along with treating her sister like a sacrificial lamb, they could at least have the decency to look her in the eye.

Abby didn’t flinch when their eyes met.

“We voted. It’s done. I’m doing this Rachel.”

She threw the phone on the counter with trembling hands and stormed towards the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her before any of them could see the tears brewing in her eyes.

———————————————————————

Authors note:

Moral of the story is don’t go on dangerous secret spy missions with risk takers who you love very much unless you’re comfortable letting them take those risks.

Love the idea of Cammie and her friends viewing Joe as this effortlessly suave guy who can never put a foot wrong on a mission, and Rachel and Abby just eyeing each other because they both remember that time he fell down the stairs and gave himself a concussion trying to get away from a target.

I have a second idea for these two arguing in a safe house, but I think it will be both harder and sadder to write, so I am saving it for when I’ve got through all of the prompts.

[cammie-morgan-goode]

If solomon is nice guy, what do you think are the codenames of Rachel, Abby, Zach and Townsend?

Hi friend! So here’s a list of code names we do have:

Solomon—Wise Guy

Cammie—Chameleon

Bex—Duchess

Macey—Peacock

Liz—Bookworm

Eva—Chica

Now here’s what I think everyone else’s codenames are:

Zach—Boy Wonder or Tough-Guy (because of his mother he’s “Boy Wonder” but also I think “Pick it up tough guy,” or something like “you gonna hit me tough guy?” Was used a lot And idk why but it like stuck plus it’s kinda like Joe’s orrrrr Maverick because he’s a risk taker! Or maybe Shadow? I’m so conflicted on Zach’s codename

Abby—Cherrybomb (because let’s be real Abby is go big or go home)

Rachel—Buttercup or Foxtrot (I feel like that stuck because of a mission with Matt where they had to foxtrot or something)

Matt—Haystack (farm boy and he’s hard to find like a needle in a haystack) or M&M because reasons. What about Shadow? Or maybe that’s Zach’s….

Townsend—Tagalong (when he went through training he followed behind everyone else so he got called “tag along Townsend”) (I originally thought of something along the lines of Tango or Doomsday??)

Anna—Teacup

Kim—Possible or Stoppable or KP, because of Kim Possible and you can fight me on that

Courtney—Cocoa

Tina—Cosmo(s) like cosmopolitan magazine (not my idea so credit goes to the gals in discord)

(Written by: @cammie-morgan-goode)

[billi-ashli]

made a house md tier list <3

[thestarlightforge]

“Agatha All Along,” colorized Oct. 2024

[oraclefreak]

X: there's no way [insert character] is part of the LGBTQIA+ community-

Me: Wrong.

X: ???

Me: Aroace beam. Happy pride month.