#ROUGH AND TUMBLE [THAT MAY OR MAY NOT LEAD ELSEWHERE]

[killemwithkawaii]

I feel like I didn't get to roughhouse as much as i wanted to as a kid because im AFAB.... Girls usually didn't like play fighting much and boys never wanted to play rough with me because they saw me as a girl, and now im a masc-leaning adult and I still just REALLY WANNA WRESTLE SOMEBODY UUUGGGHH 💪💢💥💫

[scummy-writes]

Helpless Desires

A sequel to Just a Taste.

Rating: Explicit (mdni)

Pairing: Gilbert/Reader

Words: 4520

Tags: dubcon (this fic has consent, but those sensitive to dubcon themes may want to avoid), "forced" cumming inside, choking, biting, blood, fingering, rough sex, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), cum eating, obsessiveness, Gilbert being a creep

Preview: It's difficult being gentle. Pinning you against your vanity causes little vials and compacts of makeup to clatter to the floor, but you don't seem to care- you only wince as you're forced to face the mirror, watching his gaze narrow as he presses his cheek against yours, laughing breathlessly.

Your throat fit so perfectly into his grasp.

You won't meet his eyes.

It's cute, in a way. Seeing you freeze up when you hear his cane, the tips of your ears flushed pink, excuses to be elsewhere tumbling out of your mouth.

For the majority of two days, he let you believe you slipped away successfully every time. Watched after your fleeting form with a smile, knowing that you'd cave soon.

It isn't until the two of you meet outside on the settee that you finally linger. You even manage a nervous smile! And he smiles back, sliding onto the seat beside you, leaving no space inbetween.

Your eyes dart nervously when you feel his body pressed aside yours, but you do little in retaliation. Your voice is steady as you politely greet him, trying to start up conversation about the tea for today.

It's been boring enough hardly seeing you, but you're still refusing to give him the reaction he craves. So as you continue to dawdle about the oversteeped tea, he rests his hand on your knee.

There. The rise of your chest as you stop speaking eases the impatience he's felt these past few days. You tremble out the rest of your sentence, doing your best to school your face as you repeat what you said before.

It's sickeningly adorable, how you pretend. Gilbert doesn't grant you the luxury back. His smile is thin as he finally interrupts, narrowing his eye.

"You've been running away from me, little rabbit."

Flinching, you tumble over your words, "it's not that-"

"And after I left you such a thoughtful present as well."

The teacup in your hand clatters slightly as you set it down on the saucer, trying to hide your sharp intake of breath as the palm of his hand rubs against your thigh. 

"Did you enjoy my gift?"

Nothing comes out of your mouth as you search for words, eyes glued to his fingers, the way they toy with the fabric of your skirt.

Gilbert hums his disappointment with your lack of response, giving the plush muscle a squeeze. He watches your eyes flutter as you bite your lip, looking away.

"Did it make you wet? Did you run off back to the bath to abuse that faucet of yours?"

He wants to go further. Wants to rip away your composure, have you whimpering his name. But Keith, the one you were supposed to meet for tea originally, comes into view.

The greeting falling from his mouth is interrupted by his eyes flicking to where Gilbert's hand is, then towards your expression. But Gilbert only smiles at him, deliberately clutching your thigh once more for Keith to witness, before he finally excuses himself.

You won't look at him as he leaves, but the flushed tips of your ears as you squeeze your thighs together is satisfying enough for now.

.

.

Galas and parties, where nobles flaunted their renown, soured Gilbert's mood to no end. Watching everyone fail to hide their glares, or the disgusting way they pretended to endure him, hoping to use his name for inane reasons…

However, tonight his reprieve was you. Seeing you finally enter the room, even if accompanied by that mutt of yours, had his smile creeping back onto his face. Especially as your steps stuttered when catching his eye. 

The flush on your cheeks was adorable.

Leon, noticing how Gilbert refused to hide his interest, was quick to take your hand, trying to lead you elsewhere. He didn't miss the way Leon offered him a strained smile, nor the eyes of the other princes boring into him.

But it was fine. Even if he wasn't your first dance of the night, he knew he would be your last.

.

It takes three dances until you're in his grip. Three dances, where he is left to sip at the sickeningly sweet drinks offered, watching as others vie for your hand, your exhaustion with keeping up appearances slowly cracking through your mask. And once that third song ends, he decides to help.

By taking your hand in his the moment it's free, grinning.

"Were you planning to make me wait all night? How mean."

Dragging you further into the dance floor, away from the watchful princes' reach, Gilbert hums happily to himself. It didn't matter if the two of you were in the center of the room; the way everyone watched intently, realizing just how little you resisted, would spark conversations about Rhodolite's Rose being so willingly plucked away by the conquering beast.

Did you realize that? He knew you were smart enough to, but you seemed keen on hiding the truth from yourself.

All of this vast space in this ballroom, and you're stuck with him. You can feel the stares from other nobles boring into you- he can tell from the way your eyes keep nervously darting around, refusing to pay him proper attention.

The nerves seem to go towards your feet, and you falter a few steps of the dance.

In return, Gilbert grasps your hand tighter, smile never leaving his face as he leans in closer.

"You don't want to be here either, do you, little rabbit?"

Your response is a deep breath, before nodding slightly, your grip tightening for just a moment. The misplaced trust in him makes Gilbert’s heart flutter with perverse excitement.

"The two of us could leave together, but you don't want the others to know just how close we are. I never imagined I'd be a secret in such a way, but... "

He sees your gaze on someone's wine, the way their cheeks are flushed.

Gilbert tips his head, lips by your ear as he speaks.

"It would be easy to pretend to have a little too much, wouldn't it? Then no one could blame you if I was to take you to your room. I'd just be looking after a poor rabbit in their eyes, hm?"

You stumble again, but you meet his gaze now as the song ends. Watching his smile widen as you curtsey.

.

.

Once the latch to your bedroom shuts, it's fascinating stripping your inhibitions away. For the first second, your eyes meet his, hands clenching and unclenching at your side. Worry etches itself on your face quickly, and he can see the way doubt starts to form. Those pretty, plush lips of yours open, ready to voice concern- but Gilbert's impatient with these games now. Before you can speak, he's threading his fingers through your hair, cupping the back of your head as he crashes his lips to yours.

God. You taste like that damned rose liquor. There was only one glass he watched you drink, but the sickly sweet taste mingles with his own as his tongue hungrily explores your mouth, searching for you. What lingers of your taste.

You tolerate it, trying to break away to catch your breath- fumbling with trying to decide whether to wrap your arms around his neck, or mimic how he clutches you tight against him, no space left between your bodies as he searches for anything but rose. 

Teeth nip at your lip, his breath comes out short as he takes more and more of your air, crowding you against the door. 

All the while your hands switch from fisting his hair, to slowly dragging down his chest as your own rises. To pushing at his firm body, whimpers escaping between each kiss he ruthlessly gives.

It isn't until he needs to catch his breath that he relents, staring at your swollen lips as he rests his forearm against the door, unlatching his cape and letting it fall to the floor.

"You've been avoiding me, little rabbit. I intend to make up for the lost time."

.

It's difficult being gentle. Pinning you against your vanity causes little vials and compacts of makeup to clatter to the floor, but you don't seem to care- you only wince as you're forced to face the mirror, watching his gaze narrow as he presses his cheek against yours, laughing breathlessly.

Your throat fit so perfectly into his grasp.

Even through the leather of his glove, he could feel you swallow, meeting his gaze in the reflection. He could feel your body tremble, as if scared of what he planned to do, but your eyes stared back at him, blown with the need you tried to carefully hide.

How cruel it was, to deliberately mask this. How you were craving his touch. All that trouble not to let anyone else see his gift for you, and you could only reveal your desires when pushed.

Well. That would be easy to train out. Though his anger flares for a moment, annoyed at yet another lie coming from the same lips breathlessly parted in anticipation for his cock, and his grip tightens instinctively.

But he twists it to his advantage, forcing you to stay in place and watch in the reflection as he hiked your skirt up. 

The sight of your plump rear, wearing a pair of underwear much more skimpier than the last, gave him pause. His eyes flicked towards your reflection, catching your hazy gaze. The look in your eyes seemed curious, and Gilbert knew what you wanted to ask.

Do you like them?

Gilbert smiled, chuckling to himself as he kneed your legs apart, forcing your stance.

You held his gaze as he hooked a finger on the thong of your underwear, tugging the fabric harshly against your clit.

"I've caught my little rabbit in heat, haven't I?"

Oh, the whimper you let out is the sound of his dreams. Paired with how you writhe with your hips, trying to gather more friction against your sensitive nub, has his dick twitching in excitement. Look at how desperate you were for him…

This pair was flimsy, and it took no effort to tear the seams of one side, watching it fall helplessly and pool around your ankle. 

As tempting as it is to let go of you, to get a proper view of your dripping cunt, Gilbert elects to keep his eye on you as he bites the fingertip of his glove, slowly pulling his other hand free. With how his chest is pressed against your back, keeping you pinned in place, he can feel the tremor when you breathe in deep. If he concentrates, it's almost as if he can feel your heart, thumping wildly in anticipation.

"Is this how wet you were when you left me your panties?"

Shame hits your face first, cheeks blooming a deeper hue as your eyes avert. But Gilbert moves his grip from your throat to your chin, yanking your view back to him.

"Is it?"

He feels you swallow, clenching your jaw, "no…"

"I thought so, they seem even more damp than before. How naughty."

Two fingers pry your lower lips open, and Gilbert has to suck in his own breath as your folds slick his fingers readily. His fingertips slide across your vulva, a breathless chuckle escaping him when he teases your clit, your body involuntarily pushing back against his hand.

"You've been wanting this, haven't you?"

A breathy confirmation is what he wants, but instead you only manage a meek nod, clearly awash with humiliation for your desires.

"You could have gotten this sooner, if you had been honest with me. Instead, you avoided me," easily, so easily, he slips his digits inside of you, watching you tense and a shaky sigh of relief leave you. Your body wants to draw them in deep, coaxing for something more, but Gilbert focuses on your sweet spot, just barely brushing against it, watching you jolt your hips back again.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

Frustration slowly starts builds within you, starting with how you clutch at the edge of your vanity, nails digging into the wood as you pointlessly push your hips back again, attempting to fuck yourself on his digits. 

Gilbert tsks, pulling his fingers out with an exaggerated sigh of disappointment.

"Nothing? You're going to act as if you're not soaked for me?" his wet fingers spread in front of your face, thin strings of arousal clinging between them. Your eyes focus on the sight of your sins, brows furrowed as your eyes water, "is this nothing?"

“N-No…” Voice hoarse, you finally pull your gaze away from his hand, meeting his in the reflection.

“You don’t have to hide yourself away from me, little rabbit. I’ll accept even the worst, most naughty parts of you- as long as you’re honest.”

There’s nothing but the sound of your breathing as you scan his face, trying to deduce if this is some inane trick of his. Yet, after just a few seconds, you slowly lap at one of his wet fingers, tasting your shame on his skin.

Cheeks still rosy and eyes still watering, but the deliberate way you stare at him while doing so still sends a shiver of exhilaration up his spine. He doesn’t let you finish licking him clean, reveling in the lewd pop from your lips as he pulls his hand away. Instead, he still holds your gaze as he finishes the job, delighted that your saliva holds no trace of that disgusting rose liquor now. Paired with the indescribable taste of your pleasure, Gilbert’s eye fluttered shut in bliss, his cock throbbing with impatience.

When he opens his eye again, he sees you; hazy with lust as you watch him clearly get off on just the taste of you, biting your bottom lip. 

“See? I’ll accept all of you, nasty or otherwise.”

You muffle a whimper as he pushes his saliva-coated digits back into you, his chest thrilling knowing that more of him will be inside of you soon, not just his spit.

He curls his fingers inside of you, your face twisting until he's beginning a rhythm, pumping his fingers with an even tempo. Each thrust of his fingers earns him a shudder, a bitten back groan, as you let yourself start to enjoy this.

He waits, until your brows unfurrow, your eyes fluttering shut and some of that shame abiding- and then he yanks his fingers out, chuckling at your whine.

“Tell me what you did with my gift?”

“Now?”

“I don’t think you have a right to complain, given how you ignored me for days.” The tips of his fingers ghost at your entrance, before he’s running them across your swollen lower lips, toying with the tip of your clit. One swirl around the sensitive bud, and you’re gasping out an answer, clearly growing as impatient as he is.

“I… I touched myself once I realized…”

“Mm… How?” Another swipe across, your knees trying to clench together.

“With- With my fingers.”

“Did you imagine they were mine?”

“No,” breathless, you wiggle your hips, moaning when he obliges in rewarding your hesitant words with steadily rubbing your nub, “I-I imagined something else of yours.”

“Really, now? You jumped right to imagining my cock?” Ignoring your displeased mewl as he pulls his hand away, he licks his fingers again before working his belt.

“I can imagine whatever I want,” you pout.

“True, but wouldn’t you rather feel it?”

Whatever words were about to fall from your lips never make it- in the reflection you can see how he reaches his hand in his pants, palming his erection. He doesn’t care that you can see how he shudders at finally giving himself momentary relief, but he notices how you ready yourself without hesitation; bracing yourself against the vanity all while drinking him in.

With his pants pushed down far enough just to get his cock out, his impatience wins over, slotting his thick length between your lower lips. Each thrust is slow, deliberate, but your juices coat him eagerly, the sounds of your moans coming out more unbidden than the last.

"I want to hear you say it."

The lip of his cock grinds against your sensitive clit on each rhythmic pump, and Gilbert can’t get over how swollen you are, aching for him to the point of gradually shedding away your inhibitions. Now, you’re using the vanity to steadily thrust back in tandem with him, unable to bear any moment apart from his cock. 

So he pulls back, instead pressing his tip against your soaked entrance. The pressure is light, but enough to make you cry out in frustration.

"P-please… Prince Gilbert…"

"Mm? I thought I asked you to call me 'Gil', did I not?" 

“Gil…Please…”

More pressure, and the head of his cock is just halfway into you. Just the idea of his precum mixing with your arousal inside of you has his nails digging into your skin as he holds you in place, breath growing heavy.

“I don’t know what you want unless you tell me, little rabbit.”

“I, ngh- I want your cock inside me, please-!”

The grip on your throat returns, and this time its tight enough that you don't dare to move, being forced to hold his gaze as he slides his cock into you, inch by inch. He's rewarded with a private show: your eyes prickling with fresh tears, mouth hung open as you try to quietly moan, forcing yourself to accommodate his girth. 

"Look at you, look at how you've been wanting this," a nibble at your ear, voice turning dark as he mutters, "you look like a whore. And to think, you could have had me sooner if you were honest."

The twinge of anger flares up for a moment, and he roughly thrusts the rest of himself in to the hilt- grunting out a groan as his eye rolls back, fluttering shut.

Finally….

The sensation of your inner walls clenching him, the way you whimpered as you adjusted to his throbbing cock- all of his fantasies paled in comparison to the reality of having you trapped in his arms.

Gilbert lets himself linger, let himself savor the feel of your cunt sucking him in, burning the sensation to memory for those nights he wouldn't be able to have you.

Of course, he'd make sure no one else could, either.

He yanks the shoulder of your dress down, not giving you the chance to react before he digs his teeth into the soft skin of your shoulder. You hiss out a groan, caught between pleasure and pain as he harshly marks you.

"If you let anyone else touch you like this, I'll kill them, do you understand?"

He laps at the droplets of blood forming along the indents from his bite, shuddering at a new taste of you. The way you’ve been shying at his touches, and the clumsy way you kissed at him before tells him that you’re either greatly inexperienced or a virgin. While he’s nearly certain of which, he knows that it’s only him who has tasted your life.

For the others, he’ll just replace any possible contact with his own. Over and over, until your body was clearly his.

He doesn’t give you time to mumble out anything- you’re busy relishing in the feel of him, adjusting. Instead, his hand moves from your throat to your hair- shoving your cheek down against the surface of the vanity.

You scramble in alarm at first, trying to find purchase in this position as he pulls his cock back to the tip- but he snaps his hips harshly, ignoring your protests as he starts thrusting. Each one is languid, driving deep into your warmth. 

At first, Gilbert is mesmerized- your body takes him so well. Your inner walls coax him deeper with each pump he delivers, tensing around him, and watching his length disappear into you steadily makes him feel lightheaded.

You were truly made for him, weren't you? From the way your digustingly sweet naivete cried out for him to conquer you, to the way your pussy was desperate to keep him inside- you belonged to him.

The thought makes his thrusts quicken, paying no heed to the way your nails scratch thin lines of paint off the vanity, nor the way the wood starts hitting the wall in tandem. He's too focused on trying to control the way that coil deep inside keeps threatening to come undone, trying to etch each movement and sound of skin hitting skin into his memory.

It isn't until his breathing becomes labored that he tunes into your breathless chanting, various praises and pleas for more leaking out. How could he dismiss that? 

"Hah, you're a greedy little thing, aren't you? Just a taste, and you're begging like a slut." Those words make you squirm beneath him, a much tighter squeeze of your inner walls clamping around his cock, "are you cumming? Just from that?"

"Stop-" whining, you try to hide your face from him, that damned shame coming back to eat at you. But Gilbert doesn't have the patience, yanking your hair to let him watch as your orgasm overtakes you. 

It's messy- you can't stop crying out as he continues to plunge his dick into your depths, harder and with an intensity that causes your hips to hit against the wood painfully. Tears form as he disregards how intensely your pleasure washes over you, that each time he slams into you, there's pain mixing in.

Instead, he's too focused on how your voice strains pathetically as you battle the white-hot shame of getting off on such a vile man's cock.

“Ahh, little rabbit, I’m going to cum-”

"D-Don't-!" Panic alights in you, and you rush to push your palm against his hip. The futile attempts at batting him away are almost cute, and Gilbert smiles as his grip on your hips tightens. He can see you wince in the mirror.

"Haha, thats rude. You want to reject my gift? You want to reject the cock you've been salivating over?" 

To further his point, he snakes a hand between your body and the vanity, pressing hard right above your pubic bone. 

"Ngh-"

The moan escapes you easily, your body eagerly pushing back to meet his thrusts- that fight of yours dissipating immediately as pleasure took precedence. Gilbert ignores your pouting, burying his cock deep inside your welcoming walls. Despite your weak struggling, your pussy clamps deliciously around him, as if already trying to milk him dry.

"No, you're going to take every last drop of me, little rabbit."

Those words, muttered by your ear with a breathy chuckle, causes your tears to finally spill down your cheeks. Fascination sinks in, watching thick droplets roll down your cheeks, dripping onto the vanity. Tears for him. Because of him. How were you able to give him so much of what he fantasized about?

He doesn't even think before he's angling your face closer to his, lapping up the droplets.

The salty taste of your shame on his tongue finally pushes him over the edge. Letting out a low groan, Gilbert forces you to still as he buries his face against your shoulder, spilling his love into your cunt.

You shudder as he does so, gasping at the warmth, making him moan in return- your walls clenching tighter around him. Pressed against you so tightly, he can hear your rasping breaths, the way a few hitch when he nuzzles his nose against your neck. 

He doesn't dare to pull out until his length becomes overstimulated. Even then, it's slow- forcing you to stay bent over the vanity so he has a clear view of his length pulling out of your soaking pussy inch by inch, delighted in the way your juices are combined with his.

It's clear you're exhausted. Once he's let go of you entirely, you're clutching onto the vanity desperately, keeping yourself upright. The strength is gone from your legs, but Gilbert is preoccupied with watching his cum start to drip out.

Over your shoulder, you look back at him. Staring him down as you catch your breath, face flushed and tears still staining your cheeks, but your eyes go wide watching him drop to his knees. His hands are on your thighs in an instant, keeping your legs spread as he ducks his head-

“Mmph! G-Gil-!”

Helpless in his grasp, you strain against him as his tongue explores your vulva, lapping up your cum mixed together with his semen. Each lick takes away his rational thought bit by bit, and soon he’s groaning without care, head swimming at the taste. 

Sensitive, more tears wet your cheeks, a slew of whimpered pleas for him to stop are leaving your lips, but Gilbert continues swallowing each drop that he can. The flavor, the smell- all of it makes his cock twitch, already craving to be inside of you once more.

It doesn’t take much for your thighs to strain harder against his hands, a strangled cry of his name as his efforts cause another gush of your arousal to greet his tongue. 

Once he finishes, he’s chuckling breathlessly against your thigh. The supple skin is reddened with how harsh he grasped you, and he nips at it impulsively, wrapped up with how many marks he wants to leave on you tonight.

When he’s back to his feet, he can see how you still struggle to catch your breath, how those tears still flow- but there's another emotion etched across your features that makes Gilbert laugh, and he leans over, pressing a chaste kiss against your temple as he brushes your hair back.

"Don't look so relieved, little rabbit. Did I say we were finished?"

ALT ENDING

It took me five months, but I finally made the sequel that people were wanting! It may not meet expectations, but this is what I imagined would have gone down after Just a Taste. I enjoy Gilbert being obsessive and possessive to this degree, and I hope others do as well. A big thanks to @solomons-poison for beta'ing this for me and easing some concerns!

If you do not like this, or do not like how I've written Gilbert: I kindly do not want to hear it. Please just block me instead.

If you enjoyed this, please consider commenting and/or reblogging! 

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Taglist (Please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed!): @yarnnerdally @katriniac @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @bakaneko-chan @skoetiepoetie @bestbryn

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

Château P2

Castlevania x Reader

Warnings: 🧛Mentions of blood and crying like a big baby.

Notes: Alucard is pretty yumm

You’re not sure how long it had been since the sun had set.

You seem to be rather lucky at the moment, finding a path in such a thick forest and all. Of course, you guess that following it will lead you to some sort of populated area. But, how lucky can you really be? Your decorative slippers are beginning to wear down, your dress is partially ripped from the low hanging branches and your hair resembles a rat’s nest.

Obviously, no giant mutant bats have approached you because you’re much more putrid than they find themselves to be.

Hold on.

You stop in your tracks for a moment, noticing a flickering light in the distance. You remind yourself of things that emit light and come to the conclusion that what you’re seeing in the far distance is a lantern.

Following a strange light doesn’t seem very smart but you’re sure your options are more than exhausted if you don’t.

So you take off after the brilliant glow of this newly discovered lantern. Your steps don’t make much noise, but the crunch of the dead leaves make quite the ruckus.

An ear piercing screech can be heard somewhere high above and behind you. Of course those foul beasts kept following you. There’s no way they wouldn’t!

As you continue to run, you notice the lantern nearly vanishes into the brush.

Desperate, you call out. “HELP!”

The lantern seems to come back for a moment, but that moment is cut short as your foot catches itself under a root and pulls you down with it. You tumble for the third time this day, but this fall was much harder than the others. Sharp rocks rip at whatever parts of your dress previously lay untouched by branches, your palms scrape onto rough stone and you swear you heard something break.

You try to stand, but your knees buckle and drop you back down. As a result of being unable to stand, you cave in on yourself. The sore pains are really starting to kick in.

Another shriek cuts itself through the area and you begin to cry at the thought of being mauled by those vicious beasts. You can’t help it. Everything feels hopeless at this very moment. Your most desperate wish is to be back in Carmilla’s oddly cold silk sheeted bed.

The creatures land with a gush of wind. You only cower.

Their snarls are low and shake the ground as they come near. But... they stop their approach. You know this because they’re no longer moving and you’re no longer breathing. You’re holding your breath, listening. And they’re listening too.

Before you know it, they take off again.

Did they think you were dead? Your heart is hammering against your rib cage and there’s no way they couldn’t have heard it.

Once you can no longer hear their wings, you open a single eye to observe. Then you open the other as you sit up.

You’re still alone? You attempt to stand again, but your legs give way just as easily as they had before. As you feel around, you come to notice a growing trickle of blood gliding down your arm. You’ve... never been cut before. The thought of it begins to numb you, your arm feeling like it’s never been there rather than still being by your side. Your fingertips vibrate with a newfound fear. Blood doesn’t usually worry you, but seeing your own blood does. In the open, it lets others know you’re a free meal.

“Are you alright?” Asks a strangely calm voice. This time, it isn’t in your head, but rather an outsider. You manage to twist yourself to see the owner of such a sultry sound.

“Who are you?” You ask defensively toward the familiar blond beauty, managing to stand quickly yet unsteadily. Your legs can give out at any moment, but you’re pushing them to their fullest out of fear.

You notice his golden gaze sets itself on your arm’s wound. You catch on and speak up rather quickly. “I-I’ve got a lot of run in me.”

The stranger quirks a brow as he steps forward. You take a step back, trying your best to match him, but one misstep causes you to land firmly on your ass.

“I see that. You’re quite the fighter.”

That remark reminds you of your cowardly display moments ago, curled up in the dirt and crying. Your face heats up.

“You’re bleeding-“

“Are you going to eat me?” You cut him off.

He seems taken aback by your sudden question.

“That depends.” He playfully smiles your way, gesturing as he speaks. “Are you offering yourself up to me?”

You’re surprised and a little pissed by his words. Of course you would never offer yourself up to anyone. Whether it be by choice or not, Carmilla would never let you hear the end of it.

The stranger grimaces at your expression.

Behind him, a woman’s voice speaks. “We need to keep walking, Alucard.”

Alucard?

“A-Adrian Tepes?” You suddenly say with your newfound information. You knew you recognized him from somewhere.

“How do you know that name?” He asks, a scowl present on his face.

“There are portraits that resemble you in the castle— Dracula’s castle.”

The woman shows herself from behind the man. She’s human. “You’ve been in the castle?”

“Yes— I actually don’t know where I am right now. You see, I fell into a mirror and landed here.” You must sound crazy to anyone who hadn’t witnessed the mirror themselves.

“I see.” Alucard speaks lowly.

“I’ve never been this far from my mistress. I think I’ve been handling myself well, but you’re the first people I’ve encountered thus far.”

The woman exchanges a look with Alucard and whispers to him. “Mistress?” You don’t think she understands. “Come with us. We can drop you off at the next town, if that’s what you want.”

You shake your head. “No, no. What I want is to return to the castle.” You’re beginning to speak frantically. “Please, I don’t know how well I’ll fair during these times!”

The woman looks back to Alucard. He nods to her before taking the reigns and speaking for the both of them.

“We’ll bring you.”

The woman angrily yells out. “Alucard! We can’t bring her, she can’t fight.”

Meanwhile, Alucard seems to be rather composed as he watches you. “But she proves to be a good distraction.”

As they bicker about your use, your head begins to weigh down, your eyes flutter shut with barely any control and sound is but a fading memory. Your hand reaches over to your arm and you draw back to find your hand covered in blood. Huh. You guess you’ve been bleeding this entire time.

Your head violently comes in contact with the ground and you black out almost instantly.

~

When you come to, you find yourself lightly swaying. Then you begin to notice the noise. Something like.. hooves kicking up dirt.

You bolt upright with wide eyes and take in your surroundings.

You’re on the back of a wooden wagon drawn by horses. Around you is an old fur coat, no doubt to keep you warm.

“How was the nap?” Alucard asks, bringing your attention to him. He’s seated on the edge of the wagon, his sight set on you.

“Is she finally awake?” Asks a gruff, borderline uninterested voice.

“Yes, she’s awake.” You reply bitterly.

“Good. We can leave her at the next town.” The man shoots back.

Alucard smiles in your direction, feeling quite amused by the short exchange.

“I’m Sypha.” The woman from before speaks. You turn around and spot her looking your way. She’s sitting next to the strange angry man you had just spoken to. He appears just as you had imagined. Dirty. “This is Trevor.”

“My name is Y/N.” You share and Sypha smiles your way.

“I bandaged you up.” She says. “If you still want to join us you’re more than welcomed to—“

“Excuse me-“ Trevor attempts to cut in but is in-turn cut from the conversation entirely.

“—but please know that it’s not safe.”

You nod your head after giving it some thought. There’s no other options on the table. Staying at a nearby town can still result in your death, at least by returning to the castle you’re becoming Carmilla’s problem once again. Besides... you’re starting to miss her.

“Were you and your mistress close?��� Alucard asks.

You look his way and nod your head once more.

“If I may ask: what’s she like?”

“She’s very bossy.” You say, looking elsewhere as the conversation continues. “But I know it’s because she wants what’s best for me.”

“Does she treat you well?”

“Oh course she does!” You snap. “In her own way, she’s very caring. What are you trying to get at?”

“Just prying.” Alucard sighs as he looks into the forest.

You cross your arms and look the other way, stating something very matter-of-factly in a tone that, if heard by the right person, sounds like you’re not so sure yourself. “She cares. So— you can just keep quiet.”

The forest was quite boring to stare at. It almost felt as though you were staring into some endless void as the silent moment went by. Tree here, tree there.

[kmomof4]

Today is the birthday of a dear friend in this fandom so I wanted to do something special for her!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jonirobinson64!!!!! 

We may not have been friends long, but you have become very dear to me in a short amount of time. So to commemorate the day of your birth, I wrote you a little something. I hope you enjoy it! All the love and thanks to @kymbersmith-90 for beta services!!! 

Summary: This is a birthday fic for Joni, so it will include all her favorite things... or at least several of them...

Rating: M (smut)

Words: 2662

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Best Friends to Lovers

On ao3

Tag list: @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart14 @profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite​ @branlovestowrite​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @flslp87​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @let-it-raines​ @shireness-says​ @kymbersmith-90​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @bethacaciakay​ @searchingwardrobes​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @teamhook​ @aprilqueen84​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @superchocovian​ @artistic-writer​ @donteattheappleshook​ @doodlelolly0910​ @seriouslyhooked​ @tiganasummertree​ @lfh1226-linda​ @nikkiemms​ @xsajx​ @klynn-stormz​

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

Under the cut unless Tumblr ate it.

High Confessions and What Came Next

Emma was having a great time blowing off steam with her friends after a “week from hell,” as Regina had called it. The drinks were flowing, the music was great, and the company was even better. It didn’t happen that often anymore, but all of her closest friends were able to make it to the bar tonight, and they were determined to make the most of it. Ruby and Graham gyrated on the dance floor, M’s was crushing David at darts (not that he minded), and even Regina and Robin had joined her and Killian in a tequila shooters game. Everyone was having a great time, until Walsh showed up.

He made his move when Killian went back to the bar to “procure them more libations,” which he’d said in that smooth accent of his that made all his words, not just the fancy ones, sound ultra-sexy.

As soon as Killian had disappeared through the crowd, Walsh had approached. He came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and nearly grinding himself into her backside. He must have taken her startled gasp as arousal because he then nuzzled into her neck while whispering huskily in her ear. “Come on, baby…”

But he got no farther. Twisting herself out of his grasp, she held up a hand, pushing him away from her. He tried to draw her to him again with what he must have thought was a sultry smirk.

“Get your hands off me,” she shouted, “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to keep your hands to yourself?”

“Why would you want me to do that,” he retorted, with a lazy drawl, “when you’re over here teasing every guy in the place with that dress and all that skin on display?” His eyelids dropped, giving him a sleepy, half awake look rather than the sexy one he was probably going for.

“How I’m dressed when I’m out with my friends for an evening of fun is none of your damn business. And I suggest you take your attentions elsewhere, unless you want to become intimately acquainted with at least one part of my body, though definitely not the one you were hoping for.” She looked down at her other fist as if she was examining a recent manicure. “Get the picture?” She looked back up at him coolly, hoping that her hammering heartbeat at the fright he had given her wasn’t obvious on her face.

She was stunned when he reached for her again. “Ooooo, so you like it rough, baby? Well, I can give you what you want.”

Suddenly, a familiar hand landed on her harasser’s shoulder and spun him away from her.

“I believe the lady said to keep your hands off,” Killian all but growled at the man.

Walsh sneered back at him, “And I don’t believe I asked you. Stick your nose someplace else. She’s coming with me.”

Killian looked down at the floor with a chuckle. “I’m glad you think so, mate.” Quick as lightning, his fist appeared out of nowhere and landed squarely in the middle of Walsh’s face. Blood poured as Walsh staggered back, his hands cupping his shattered nose.

Killian moved toward Emma, her color a little better than it was when he first emerged from the crowd with their fresh drinks. “Are you alright, Love?” he asked, grasping her upper arm gently. Pain shot through his knuckles as he did. He released her with a hiss and looked down at the rapidly bruising area.

“We need to go get that looked at, Killian,” she murmured. “You might have some broken bones in there.”

“From Walsh’s nose? Impossible.”

Emma gave him a skeptical look. “The only time I’ve ever seen bruising happen that fast was from a broken bone. Let’s go.” Killian sputtered, trying to protest that he was fine, but she was having none of it. She turned him toward the bar and pushed him ahead of her. Jefferson had seen the whole thing and was waiting for them with an ice pack all ready to go. “Thanks, Jeff,” she said, relieving him of the pack.

Killian placed it on his knuckles and allowed his Swan to lead him out the door.

~*~*~

Emma helped her sometimes idiotic, most-of-the-time sweet, always a gentleman best friend through the front door of their apartment. He was pretty loopy from the painkillers they’d given him in the ER after he put that douche Walsh in his place.

It was a good thing that her job as a bail bondswoman kept her in shape. She all but carried him into the apartment before heading down the hall towards his bedroom. He was so stoned she knew that once she sat him down, he wouldn’t be moving until morning. So she was determined to deposit him in his bed, where he’d at least be comfortable.

She tried to stifle her giggle as he nuzzled into her neck, much as Walsh had done earlier, sniffing her hair and letting out a contented hum, his breath warm on her skin. She shivered with awareness, not minding his attention at all.

Of course, she’d always been aware of how handsome he was, but her attraction had been buried underneath the prickly armor she wore around everyone but her family and closest friends. By nature of their roommate status however, Killian quickly joined that elite circle of people. Emma kept her heart guarded, not trusting anyone easily, so she could count her friends on one hand. It hadn’t taken Killian long to demolish her walls with his easy charm and laid back, gentleman-like tendencies. When they had shared their pasts with each other one evening, when Netflix had failed to keep their attention, she had seen how similar they really were. Emma had handed over her heart and never looked back. She just neglected to tell him that.

But now, after removing his shirt and pants, and as she tried to maneuver him under the comforter of his bed, (he made his bed every. Single. Morning. How? she thought, shaking her head.) his unbandaged hand shot out and grabbed her. He pulled just enough to make her tumble into his bed, halfway on top of him. “Ah, now that’s better,” he murmured, encircling her in his arms. She stared down into his half-lidded, so blue eyes... eyes that she could easily drown in.

“What’s better?” she whispered.

The haze in his eyes lifted just enough that she could see the seriousness in his gaze. “Having you here. In my arms. In my bed.”

“What?” She was floored. Was it possible that he wanted her too?

“You heard me, Swan.” He tightened his arms around her slightly. “Will you stay?”

“I’ll just be in the next room if you need anything, Killian.”

“No, not there, Swan. Here. With me.”

Her tongue flicked out, moistening her lips. “Let me go get a few things and I’ll stay,” she replied. “I’ll always stay.”

“Mmmmmmm,” he hummed, apparently appeased with her answer.

She pulled out of his arms and got him situated in the bed before going to the kitchen to get a glass of water for later, when he’d take another dose of the pain meds, and an ice pack to wrap around his badly bruised knuckles. Entering her own bedroom, she changed into her pajamas before heading back to his. She opened the door to find him dead to the world, gently snoring. She leaned against the door jamb and let her eyes roam over him to her heart’s content. His black hair was tousled and flopping down over his face, his bare chest on display, his bandaged hand on top of the covers. She moved toward him, debating whether she should actually sleep in his bed with him tonight. His confession notwithstanding, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep her hands to herself once she fell asleep. What if she cuddled up to him? What if he woke to find her there? Would he even remember his request? And if he did, what would happen then? What would happen to them?

She crawled into the other side of his bed, justifying her behavior by telling herself that since she was such a heavy sleeper she would be unlikely to hear him if he woke unless she was next to him. After wrapping his hand in the ice pack, she lay down on her side to face him, stroking her fingers lightly along his forehead before burying them in his silken hair.

“I love you, Killian,” she whispered, before she fell into dreams.

~*~*~

Killian awoke the next morning with an aching hand and a warm body pressed along his side. Looking down, his face was buried in a cloud of spun gold. He inhaled deeply before withdrawing slightly to see the love of his life cuddled up to him, her head on his shoulder, her arm splayed across his torso. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her close to his heart, the place she’d lived for nearly as long as he had known her. She stirred in his arms, burying her face in his chest where her drool had collected as she slept. He chuckled as her eyes scrunched in annoyance before opening and meeting his own.

Green pools that he would happily drown in stared up at him. Her mouth fell slightly open as her eyes scanned his face and she took in every emotion that he was powerless to hide in the early morning.

“What do you remember from last night?” she asked in a whisper.

Not exactly what he was expecting her to say in their current position.

“Uhh…” he gaped at her. There was no other word for it. But he wanted to answer her question before she realized exactly where she was and pulled back from him. He searched his memory. He remembered arriving at the bar with Emma, doing his damndest to keep his thoughts and his hands in the friend zone instead of where they could quite easily go if he wasn’t careful. He remembered tequila shots with Emma, Regina, and Robin. He remembered punching that wanker, Walsh, after he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He remembered Swan taking him to the Emergency Room, afraid that he might have broken his hand. After that though, things started to get a little fuzzy. He vaguely remembered Emma helping him into bed and her falling on top of him briefly when getting him under the sheets proved difficult. “I remember our evening at the bar and coming home after the ER. After that, it’s pretty hazy around the edges.” He grinned at her somewhat sheepishly.

“Do you remember asking me to stay with you?”

“Did I?’

“Yes. You asked me to stay with you here, in your bed.” Bless his dear Swan. Her eyes were wide in her panic and he could feel her heart beating rapidly against his rib cage. “You said it was better.”

Killian scrambled to lighten the tense mood that had fallen at her words. He wiggled his eyebrows, the action never failed at getting an eye roll out of her, as he hugged Emma  tighter to his side. “Having you here in my bed is always better, Swan. But I can think of some other, more enjoyable, activities that a bed is also good for- besides sleeping, I mean.” Emma looked down, blushing prettily. He maneuvered his injured hand under her chin and raised it until she was looking at him again. “But only if you’re amenable, darling. I may not remember exactly what I said last night, but I can assure you that I want nothing more than for you to share my bed and my life. Just as you’ve shared my heart for years.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. “You’ve held my heart in your hands for years, Killian. And I would be very much amenable,” she replied, in a horrible attempt at his accent, “to share your bed and your life.” She lifted her hand to caress his jaw. “I love you, Killian Jones.”

“And I love you, Emma Swan.”

Words were no longer necessary as he pulled her up to meet his lips. His uninjured hand buried itself in her hair as the other rubbed up and down her back. His tongue traced the seam of her lips before she opened, allowing him to deepen the kiss. A moan tore itself from the back of her throat as their tongues tangled in a dance they had both desired for so long.

Her own hands were by no means idle. She felt the planes of his chest under her fingers and nearly giggled in delight when he tried to squirm away from her touch as she had apparently found a ticklish spot on his ribs. Their kiss broke and Killian pressed open mouth kisses along her jaw and down her neck as she threw her head back in ecstasy. Heat built in her core when he latched onto her pulse point and gave a firm, but not too painful, suck, marking her as his for all the world to see.

His hands continued their explorations, settling at her breasts where he kneaded and plucked at her nipples until they were hard points, begging for his mouth. She raised herself from his chest and straddled him, his prominent erection hitting her just where she needed him. She ground down, staring at the man she loved, his own eyes nearly black with love and desire. Desire for her. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of him looking at her like this, as if there was nothing in the world he could possibly want or need more than her.

“Oh, Swan,” he moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. He reached for her again and pulled himself upright, surrounding her in his strength and his scent. “Lift up, darling.” His hands pushed her pajama bottoms and panties down as she kneeled in front of him. She wiggled them the rest of the way off as Killian made short work of his boxer briefs. “I hope I helped some when you undressed me last night, Swan,” he cooed at her, waggling his eyebrows again.

She rolled her eyes at him. “You were mostly out of it, but it wasn’t too hard,” she quipped.

She straddled him again and stared into his eyes before lowering her mouth to his in a sweet kiss. She melted into his embrace as passion made way for gentle tenderness in their lovemaking. Soft touches, whispered endearments, and breathless sighs filled the room as they both kissed, sucked, and nibbled all of the secret places known only to lovers. He thrust his hips into hers, coating himself in her juices as he drove her higher and higher. Rising up, she lowered herself onto him, the slight burn as she stretched around him making her gasp in pleasure. She nearly sobbed as he bottomed out within her. She had never felt so complete, so at home, as she did right at this moment. She never wanted it to end.

Killian’s own groan reached her ears as he started to move within her. “Emma, oh, Emma. How I love you, darling.” He captured her lips in a fiery kiss and tilted her back until she was flat on the mattress, driving into her at a frenzied pace.

“Yes, Killian, yes!” she screamed. “Right there! Oh god!” she cried, falling apart in his arms. Killian pumped into her just a few more times before he joined her in an earth-shattering release.

Emma held her love to her, content to feel his weight on her for a few moments more. He sighed deeply before rolling off and drawing her close. “You’d better be sure about this, Swan, because it’s too late for me. I’ll follow you to the end of the world. Or time.”

“Mmmmmm,” she hummed. “Good.”

The End

[glorious-spoon]

Unearned Misfortunes

Title: Unearned Misfortunes Fandom: The Witcher [TV] Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier Rating: Teen Warnings: None Other Tags: First kiss; Companionable snark Summary: Geralt almost looks as though he’s smiling, which is to be expected. Jaskier’s unearned misfortune is the only thing that reliably seems to amuse him.

READ ON AO3

*

Geralt is bathing in the river when Jaskier comes to find him, which is just the last bit of unfairness to top of an utterly rotten few days. Not the bath per se, since as he’ll be the one sleeping downwind of the witcher he’d generally prefer less of an aroma of stale sweat and wet horse than Geralt has been sporting since he hauled Jaskier out of a bar fight three towns back, but.

The thing is, Geralt has evidently also taken this opportunity to wash his sparse collection of clothing, which is laid out on the river bank to dry in the sunlight. He’s stripped to his smallclothes, his hair shedding rivulets of water down the broad, scarred lines of his back, leading Jaskier’s eyes inevitably downward.

The wet linen clings to his ass and his thighs and, when he turns slightly to glance back toward Jaskier, to the outline of his cock. It’s somehow more obscene than if he were naked. Although, to be fair, most of the times Jaskier has actually seen him naked, there’ve been various gruesome injuries involved and that does tend to put a damper on the libido.

No such luck now, alas. His only saving grace is that Geralt is generally oblivious to the gentler forms of interpersonal discourse, as it were. Or at least willing to ignore them.

As he’s doing now. By the time Jaskier has managed to drag his gaze back to safer locales, Geralt is already wading back out of the river, twisting the water out of his hair and flinging it over his shoulder with a wet slap. “What do you want?”

“I, um, you.” Geralt gives him a flat stare, and he manages to shake a few words loose. “There’s food?”

“Since when?”

“Since I traded for supplies back in Windhaven. Which I will now share with you, as a token of my gratitude.”

“For rescuing you from that redheaded mountain troll who wanted your balls for a necklace.”

“For intervening in a very unfortunate misunderstanding which was in no way my fault.”

“Right.” Geralt almost looks as though he’s smiling, which is to be expected. Jaskier’s unearned misfortune is the only thing that reliably seems to amuse him. The fact that this almost makes his unearned misfortune worth the trouble is definitely a sign that his priorities have been severely warped by sustained contact with Geralt’s particular brand of insanity.

There’s probably a lesson to be found in there, but instead of searching for it Jaskier resolutely turns and marches back toward the campsite without even looking around once to see if Geralt is following him.

*

They’ve settled down for the night, falling into a campsite routine that’s become entirely too comfortable by now, a cozy fire keeping the dark at bay, when the talk turns back to Jaskier and his various misfortunes. Or, at least, Jaskier’s talk does. Geralt—mostly dressed again, more’s the pity—has his whetstone out and a sword across his knees and appears to be giving only the most cursory attention to the conversation. It’s fine. Jaskier is a sparkling conversationalist regardless.

“—the worst part, of course,” he says as he plucks idly at his lute, “is that there’s absolutely no way to make a good song out of it without casting myself as the buffoon.” Geralt snorts, and Jaskier glares at him. “I heard that.”

“You were meant to.”

“Comedy isn’t really my forte anyway. You know, none of this would happen if you would—” he stops talking so quickly that he nearly bites his tongue off, and of course this is the moment where Geralt decides to start paying attention. His head lifts; his gaze is penetrating.

“If I would what?”

“Nothing.” He strums a chord and turns his gaze elsewhere before he can be caught gazing longingly at the angles and shadows of Geralt’s face in the firelight. “I don’t understand how these things keep happening to me, that’s all.”

“Maybe you should stop tumbling into bed with every married woman who makes eyes at you.”

“It’s not my fault I’m irresistible. Besides, she kissed me first.”

“Hm,” Geralt grunts, very dubiously.

“Oh, what would you even know about it? If someone tried to kiss you out of the blue, you’d probably stab them. Wouldn’t you?”

“Why don’t you try it and find out?”

It’s either a threat or a goad, and Jaskier has never been especially skilled at ignoring either of those things. Particular when his libido and his pride are both involved. It’s why he gets punched so frequently. And he’s been on edge since—well, since the moment when Geralt’s hand came down on his nape to drag him out of the way of a blade back in the smelly little bar in Windhaven.

“Fine,” he says, and twangs the lute strings in deliberate disharmony before setting the instrument down. Geralt is still watching him. His brows are raised slightly, and Jaskier has the distinct impression that he’s being laughed at. It’s utterly infuriating. “Fine, then. Suit yourself.”

“I wouldn’t recommend storming off into the night,” Geralt says, his attention already back on his blade. The soft shk-shk-shk of the whetstone is like sandpaper in Jaskier’s ears.

His knees crack as he stands and makes his way around the small fire. Geralt’s hands still; his posture shifts. Jaskier kneels in front of him. The fire feels hot on the side of his face; his kneecaps are pressed against the outside of Geralt’s shin, the blade a line of silver between them.

“I want to make it clear that you brought this on yourself,” he says. There’s a rasp in his voice. Geralt lifts his head finally but doesn’t say a word. His expression is unexpectedly intent; his light-colored eyes reflect the firelight. This close, it’s like being pinned in place by a predator that’s already set its claws. Even with all the sword-fights and monster slaying and idle threats against Jaskier’s person, he often forgets how fucking terrifying Geralt can be when it suits him.

He’s remembering it now. But that doesn’t stop him from crossing the space between them and pressing a firm kiss to the hard line of the witcher’s mouth.

He expects—well, honestly, he expects to get shoved into the campfire. Or worse. He definitely doesn’t expect for Geralt to soften immediately like he was waiting for exactly this. His lips part and one hand comes up to tilt Jaskier’s jaw, turning the kiss into something sweet and heated with an edge of promise. It’s like being drunk on good wine, Jaskier thinks dazedly, like cheering and applause and coin in his hat, and it’s like none of those things at all; it’s just Geralt, who smells of wood smoke and leather, whose fingers are rough with callus, who is—improbably, impossibly—kissing him back.

It seems like an age later when they finally part. Jaskier drags a long-overdue breath into his lungs and says the first thing that comes to mind, which turns out to be, “Are you going to stab me now?”

Geralt glances down at the blade still resting across his lap, then looks back at Jaskier. There’s a hint of a smile on his face. “Would you like me to?”

“Well. Not with a sword.”

Geralt casts his eyes heavenward for a moment, lets out a long-suffering sigh, then picks up the sword and sets it aside. He grips Jaskier’s wrist gently to tug him closer. “Stop talking, bard.”

For once, Jaskier obeys.

*

“You know,” he muses, some time later, “I think there may be a song in this after all.”

“No,” Geralt says flatly into his shoulder.

A log pops in the fire, sending a shower of sparks skyward. Jaskier wriggles to get as comfortable as he can with approximately three tons of warm naked witcher sprawled half on top of him, then stops when Geralt makes a wordless but remarkably threatening noise of protest. “It has a good hook, you must admit. A handsome young bard meets a world-weary witcher on the road. He serenades him and charms him and finally becomes one of his many conquests…”

“You’re the one with all the conquests. And the army of murderous cuckolds on your tail to prove it.”

“Very funny.” His lute is close enough to touch; he rolls to pluck a string without dislodging the warm weight of Geralt’s arm across his chest. “Perhaps I will write a song. It’d serve you right.”

It’s dark under the trees, but the firelight is bright enough to show the sudden gleam of Geralt’s teeth as he smiles. “As you like, bard. For now, shut up and go to sleep.”

[tabletopjourneys]

Session 29 Notes

Completing fae deals and sailing out to sea with magic whales and a fortune in ambergris. Tags: @aradow @gher-bear @telurin @epimetal

On this day we successfully trick our way into completing Ixayl’anu’s bargain with Diem’s patron without having to fight anything. Said patron then immediately turns around to have Diem hold on to the item retrieved for awhile - the chaotic deck of many things. Diem and Ixayl’anu then deliver the fungus sample and make arrangements for possibly more samples and by-journal communications with the fungus expert, Professor Whitskey. Afterwards, we all set sail the next day for Anesh to continue our main quest. On the voyage, we encounter weirdness that includes a vanishing crew member and a group of whales doing ancient singing magics alongside and under the ship for a part of the voyage. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the meteors though. Ixayl’anu helps us discover and haul in some ambergris that’s gonna be worth tons of $$$$.   *Details below the “Keep Reading” break*

(Additional details noted before we knock on Dima’s door.) We agree that at some point while we’re all in the room, Phi found a good time  to tell us about Averni being run by vampires. This will possibly get threaded into a previous notes session if I find a good place. Either way, it happened.

Phi would have also told us during fae deal planning that Dima is a follower of Selune the moon goddess and that he’s pretty much not very tolerant/caring about other religions/gods/goddesses

Together we all figure out what Selune’s about, slightly a trickster (but not really the aspect Dima follows), for sailors, the moon and the night, etc.

(The visit with Dima - ‘Waiting Room’)

Ixayl’anu walks up to the door, Alfred the butler opens the door and looks at our ragtag bunch, spotting Phi in the back. “Yes, can I help you?”

Phi: We were wanting to talk to Dima, something’s come up.

Butler: Mr. Lenkov is in a meeting with Aristin Pilwickin (cousin 2nd removed) currently, but you can certainly come in and wait until they are done.

Phi: Yes it’s that important, we can wait.

Rest of us: Yeah we’re okay with waiting.

Phi: How’s it going Alfred? 

Al: *steps back opens door, responds*

Phi continues making small talk.

As we walk past the doors down the long hallway, past the doubledoors Phi gets whispered what’s going on because she’s the only one with perception for it and on high alert.

The exterior walls are def stone, but interior walls are plastered wood slats (a note for Rana)

As we reach the room we’re ushered to we see a scholarly blue and white dragonborn and fucked up gnome chick, not related to Phi, def looks like she had a hard life, low London rough and tumble accent.

Phi parses this as odd because she doesn’t really ever see these two together and they were both doing whispery voiced arguing that clams up when we enter.

Gnome lady stays quiet

Payton (scholarly dragonborn): Ah, leaf pick, haven’t seen you in awhile.

Rana gives Phi a confused look because this is like name #15

He’s one of the more stable potion makers of the group (Payton) soooome minor enchantments

Phi: Hey! How ya doin, Payton?

Rana and Diem hug the wall together not feeling great about the group’s chances in this situation.

Phi and Payton have awkward chitchat.

Phi gives Bamfina Lockley (the rough and tumble London gnome) a nod: Hey.

Lockley gives her a cool look in response, something of a glare.

Payton glazes over that about how great it’s going, lots of shipments and good time for working on my projects.

Phi: Have you heard anything about the weird meteors we’ve been having, lots of sciencey people talking about that?

Payton: I have seen them but I’ve been really busy this past week so I haven’t been...why have you heard anything?

Phi: We were talking to some people at the university and it just sounded pretty crazy, right?

Payton: *quetioning look* I didn’t realize you were so interested in astronomy

Phi: New hobby of mine, been spending a lot of time outdoors looking up at the sky and it’s just become fascinating to me.

Neither Payton nor Bamfina look like they know what to do with that.

Payton takes interest in Phi’s friends, we briefly greet back.

Phi asks if they’re waiting to see Dima

No

Oh we’re just gonna go in then

Lockley stroms off

Rana: Bye!

Phi’s cousin walks out from a door in the side hall on the east wall. “Oh, Selphina! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Phi: Oh, hey *nickname for level 2 familiarity* Small chitchat in the hall about wishing their loved ones well follows.

He gives the rest of us a wtf are these people doing here look as he goes by but Diem doesn’t even notice him until he’s already past them while Rana tries to start obviously awkward conversation with Payton after Phi dropped him like a hot potato. (The meeting with Dima)

Phi knocks on door where Dima is waiting.

Dima: Enter

Phi peeks in “I brought my friends with me this time, is it okay if they come in?”

Dima gives her a look: It’s better than having them in the hall.

It’s a cozy little office with french doors leading into a garden/well area. 20x30 office

Diem comes all the way in and crosses with Phi to the french door area to allow room for Rana and Ixayl’anu, then sits in the chair on that side of the office.

Dima thinks this is unusual that Phi’s brought people in, but she’s not in trouble for it. He casually closes his books and sets them aside as we come in.

Dima: Phi what is this about, I thought we’d spoken earlier?

Phi: Yeeeeah, but it turns out my friends realized they have something to talk to *you* about and so I brought them here to talk about it.

Dima: Interesting *makes go on hand gesture*

Ixayl’anu: (rolls a 10 on persuasion) and she says something to the effect of “I’m on a mission from Selune, and you have something she requires to complete my quest.” Dima is intrigued

Diem doesn’t think he looks intrigued enough and decides to use phantasmal force to convince Ixayl’anu Selune is now talking through her to tell this story, and hopefully Dima that it’s true/help really sell the story. Sleight of hand casting succeeds/Nobody notices Diem cast it, but Ixayl’anu makes her save enough to know what’s going on and let it happen.

Ixayl’anu then rolls a nat 20 on persuasion with the rest of the story, letting herself believe she’s possessed by Selune. Diem adds a little moonlight prestidigitation to Ixayl’anu’s eyes to really sell it. Both trickstery deities involved probably fully approved and thought this was great fun (Dima’s and Ixayl’anu’s)

Dima: Yes, Ixayl’anu, whatever you need, name it.

“Selune”: Ixayl’anu will know it when I see it through her eyes.

He leads us to the basement where there’s a sleeping black dragon it looks up and snorts.

Peace Antimony, (words I missed).

It hisses some toxic green gas and lays back down.

Dima leads us around. “This is just general storage, but I’ve got a vault down here.”

Rana and Phi have been flabbergasted. We all stand back and just act like we’re not interested in snooping. 

1st item: metal globe with protection runes “thaumaturge’s orb.”

2nd item: A staff with a golden hand at the end with one finger extended “Staff of Midas”

3rd item: Multi-faced star-shaped cut glass/shimmery crystal reflecting light in prismy way “The sky crystal focus” about the size of a basketball.

4th item: Beautiful finely made silver circlet with a large multi-faceted, mostly purple gemstone in the middle with 3 little motes of light that float around it in diff shifting colors “Arcanist’s Circlet”

5th item: A tiny hummingbird out of enamel or jade, in flight “Valonte’s vitalium”

6th item: Another orb, jet black with 2 copper bands runes carved into the orb. “Orb of passage”

7th item: A sword longsword with kind of twisted metal and hilt is standard wrapped hilt that merges into the base of the blade like grasping vines, cross blade is thorny “constrictor blade”

8th item: Just looks like a deck of fine playing cards, kinda plain. “The Deck of Many Things”

9th item: Amulet on a jeweler’s bust, inside is a beautiful topaz (yellow), large cut to shine brilliant, around it 2 sphinx’s and a four winged angel on top with sunrays behind it. It looks very ornate. “The Sunheart medallion.”

If Rana was looking she might be able to say more about it, but she isn’t.

Dima: I did just acquire this as well. 

*shows wine decanter sized crystal vial with a metallic, shimmering in all the colors kaleidoscopic liquid, I’m not exactly sure what this does yet, I haven’t had it identified, but it may also be what you seek.

Arcana check of 22 to see if I know any stories about the item names: Enough to Cross off staff of midas, volantes vitaleum, and constrictor blade.

Diem manages to sleight of hand cast message to share not these 3, but my patron said you would know it when you see it, so maybe...communicate with your god in front of each one or something? “You can respond to this message”

Ixie: Maaaybe.

Rolling a d6 at a 5 (for where she’s drawn): Ixie narrows it down to the skycrystal focus, the arcanist circlet, and the deck of many things.

Ixayl’anu tries to use divine sense in front of the 3. It doesn’t tell her any more.

She’s doing the slow loop around the room kinda thing, holding a hand out, dowsing rod kinda passing each one. Loops back around to the deck, decisively points at the deck “That one.”

Dima: Yeah, that completely makes sense, let me unlock that for you.

Phi rolls investigation to see if there’s a magic component to these keys or anything. As he puts in the key and turns it there’s a faint puff of coloured magic smoke that comes out, and she knows it’s just like a simple alarm spell - it would make a noise to alert something or someone elsewhere. Takes out the deck and hands it to Ixayl’anu.

Phi notices the back of these cards is an exact match to the card she’s been carrying. Dima’s deck is complete, Phi got it within a year, but not from Dima. Meta info none of us realize: Vizier: At any time you choose within one year of drawing this card, you can ask a question in meditation and mentally receive a truthful answer to that question. Besides information, the answer helps you solve a puzzling problem or other dilemma. In other words, the knowledge comes with Wisdom on how to apply it.

Ixayl’anu tries to give him a good faith I know it’s not enough token of 100gold

Dima: No, this is between us and the deities. (but he appreciates the gesture)

Ixayl’anu: May her light shine on you.

Dima: And you as well.

We don’t linger and follow Phi out.

He invites us to a drink after with some chitchat. With as little detail as possible and as much truth as possible (not sure what I meant by this statement lol). We get very good bourbon.

Charisma check for how Dima views each of us moving forward: Rana 15, Ixayl’anu 15, Diem: 10, Phi: nat 20 (22 total).

Level up!

We go back to the inn and Rana buys us dinner.

We talk about when we’re doing the professor meeting and will they meet us at night.

We both are like as soon as possible, but we’ll say it’s an emergency.

Rana exchanges a look with Phi.

Diem: What? Wait did you guys get message while I wasn’t paying attention?

Rana: Yes. Phi tells Diem the truth though (no, we didn’t)

Diem talks about maybe appearing on the boat after it’s already set sail - they don’t know how these things work.

Rana: Won’t the captain have questions?

Diem: Well we’re already paid for so it’s not like we’d be stowaways.

Rana and Phi talk about how mad her mentor might be, they talk about not knowing it wasn’t an actual message from Selune and what if Dima finds out. Rana doesn’t for a moment believe Selune was involved. 

Phi: That won’t be explained until the future either and if a catastrophe was averted by then it could make him less mad.

Rana: Let’s hope it was worth it.

Phi: Yeah, let’s take it one day at a time. Cross that bridge when we come to it.

Rana: Let’s just hope we don’t burn that bridge.

*cut to Diem and Ixayl’anu for a deal’s a deal scenes*

Diem does as last time, with the sense Ahrune heard.

Ahrune pops in “That was fast, what have you brought for me?”

Diem: We may have convinced him it was ordained by his goddess.

Ahrune: More interesting than what I had in mind.

Ixayl’anu *huffy*: It wasn’t exactly clear, but I brought you these.

Ahrune: *examines them* Yes, these will do quite nicely *hands them over to Diem* Why don’t you hold on to these for me.

Diem: *thanks in shock*

Ahrune makes us a door directly to the guy, and hands Diem a return portal orb to the inn when we’re done. “Forgive me if I don’t want to stick around for this part.” *disappears*

*Diem tucks the cards into their inner suit pocket before following Ixayl’anu through the door.*

As soon as we walk in he looks up: Oh! Hello I didn’t...office hours are closed!

Ixayl’anu: Forgive the intrusion but I need to talk to you.

Whitskey: You don’t look like one of my students…?

Ixayl’anu: No we haven’t met before, I have an unusual question...well...maybe *looks at all the vials of fungus and thinking maybe not* Wondering if maybe you can identify something for me.

I’m given to understand you’re professor Whitskey?

Whitskey: Yep that’s me.

Ixayl’anu: Do you...I think this question is self evident but do you happen to study lichen and fungus and things?

Whitskey: That is my specialty

Ixayl’anu: I have a substance that I - well a group of us found recently and I was hoping you’d know more about it.

Magical lichen - you understand magical lichen very well?

Whitskey: Yes do you have one you want me to identify?

Ixayl’anu digs in her pack and pulls out the vial to hand over

Diem: before you open this you should know *tells about it briefly and where it was sampled from*

Whitskey: Yeah I recognized it so I wasn’t going to throw magic at it but thanks for the warning.

You said you found this in the shadowood? You’re quite far from home.

One of us: We spoke to professor Leonis he wasn’t sure if it was native here or if they came with the meteors, he kind of led us to think it was native

Whitskey: Professor Leonis, I can’t say that I’m too familiar with him but I don’t get out much. I have heard all this hullabaloo about these meteors but I didn’t realize it would have anything to do with my work.

We talk about it growing directly on the meteor.

Diem illustrates it for him.

Whitskey: Hmmm *adjusts glasses* (has very large eyes behind the glasses)

Ixayl’anu brings up the dwarf too.

Whitskey: There was a dwarf? Tell me more about this.

Diem does a 22 on telling the story again and all the details they can remember.

Whitskey looks at the lichen in the jar and studies it. His excitement continues to grow as he looks up things in books and compares, etc. 

He keeps it in the jar and he brings the mage light closer to the vial. *Diem steps back*

The lichen grows toward the source of the magic with quite a speed, spindly bits and deeper colored. Whitskey quickly separates it out again.

Whitskey: This is quite a find! This is a very...I haven’t actually seen this before!

Diem would let him know what officials in Miova know, what little they don’t, or even the local Miovan professors about this fungus and that he might want to put a team together to stress the importance of this to his local magistrates/officials/etc, asks whether it might be wise to take a protected sample back there as well.

Whitskey: If I’m correct this line is very aggressive. Transporting it could be quite problematic, we’d have to set up a containment field, quite frankly I’m surprised it stayed in this method of containment.

Diem agrees on the point of transporting it back through another, different magical door and that it’s probably best to leave the whole sample with Whitskey after all.

Diem and Ixayl’anu talk about her mission and what they can do if they encounter more of it. Whitskey gets excited about the possibility of more samples then and happily gives us containers of his own.

Tips for future encounters: Bring someone who can create a null field, anti-magic area to contain it, and it is best you get the samples when they’re small, when they’re large they have a self-fulfilling mist about them and they become quite difficult to contain. At that point it can do certain things, take over other living organisms.

Diem: Like that dwarf - oh and maybe those gnolls.

*tells him about the gnolls now too*

Whitskey: Oh yeah some cults do use them to infect themselves with various forms of these lichens to become part of their deities. Usually those cults get found and irradicated. Some small discussion about that. We find out it’s common though with known species and not necessarily tied to this new one.

Diem asks about the care of the vessels

The containers are inert until you open them and put something inside, and once you shut them they become their magical versions and he wouldn’t recommend putting them in magic holding things like bags of holding or anything like that, but near those bags is fine.

(Rana:This guy is totally going to turn out to be evil

Leonis: "I can't just hand out University materials, I'd have to get permission."

This guy: "Take my personal vials.")

We get 3 containment units.

He goes around to the other side of his table and give us a small book of sending so we can keep in touch and we can coordinate how to get samples and such back and forth.

We verify we can send warnings through and not just notes, and he will contact us too about things he learns.

How durable are the contaminants?

More durable than glass, they can break, handle them with care, don’t smash them on the floor or throw them at things. They’re made of magical pyrex. Thick enough to drop from waist height and they’ll be fine.

Whitskey: You’ve made my whole night, my whole year, I have so many things to do!

Ixayl’anu has something else she wanted to ask but can’t think of it right now.

Diem makes sure it’s okay to ask him a question in the book later if she thinks of it.

Whitskey: Oh yes, so long as it pertains to all of this.

Diem: Can this book be stored in a bag of holding?

Whitskey: Yes absolutely.

Ixayl’anu: Anything else you can think of?

Diem: Nope I think we did a pretty good job.

Ixayl’anu smashes the portal and we go back to the room we were in, taking 45 minutes total.

Rana and Ixayl’anu played with their rats. *rewind a little (to prevent potential disaster lol)*

Before we left, Phi brought up that she had a similar card to the deck we got and she tells us it’s a deck of many things that have wildly varying effects that could be really good or really bad and she knows you have to declare how many cards you want to draw and select them. She has an enchanted card to be whatever card she needs and now that she knows this it’s revealed its true nature to her so now it probably doesn’t work as intended.

Phi asks if she can see the deck and Ixayl’anu hands it over (in the velvet bag Dima had tucked them in).

She puts them face down on the table “I have one of these cards that I thought was just a trick card. I use this to turn into a different card *she tells it to change by illustration* the fact my boss had cards like this tucked in his treasure room tells me this is more than just a simple trick.”

It’s def a trickster element to it. Diem realizes they know stories about these cards (21 arcana check), gives some examples of people dying, being lost, become more powerful or rich, getting wishes granted.

Rana makes a face when the wish spell is mentioned.

Phi: Sounds super dangerous but also kind of fun

Diem: Yeah, but also the epitome of fey fun, so it makes sense why you picked that one, Ixayl’anu.

Phi: *tucks her card away and talks about getting it identified*

*Phi and Rana time while Ixayl’anu and Diem are at Whitskey’s*

Rana: So how do you and Dima know each other?

Phi: He’s the head of an organization I used to be a part of.

My family is very involved still so I kinda don’t talk about being involved with it anymore so I kinda just go off and do my own thing but Dima is one of the people who knows I don’t wanna be a part of it anymore. He makes sure I don’t get any heat from not wanting to be part of it now.

Rana: Well your sister seems nice and he seems nice

Phi: He’s NOT nice, but my sister doesn’t know much about it, she’s just a family person, focuses on that. Her job’s not so intense (I have a lot of sisters though).

Rana: What do your other siblings do? *confused*

Phi: You know

Rana: No, I don’t.

Phi: Just stuff that isn’t necessarily on the up and up, you know, like...below the law things that you may not wanna do if you have kids you gotta feed. I don’t know, she’s just a different person.

Rana: Is that why she had so many kids?

Phi: Oh no that’s just normal and they’re not all hers.

Rana: Dima did help us. Well, we tricked him into it but he really did help us.

Phi: Yeah I was actually a little surprised by that. I think he’s just very devout so I don’t think he saw an option to not help if that makes any sense?

Rana: Either way if he’s been supporting you and he’s willing to help us out, he can’t be that bad right?

Phi: Sure. I mean he’s not supporting me out of the niceness of his heart, we made a deal.

*I missed Rana’s response, sorry*

Phi: It wasn’t like a favor it was a trade

Rana: At least we’re not making deals with the fae

Phi: That’s some crazy shit right? I’d never do something like that.

*Back to the present*

Diem stores coffee can sized containers in their bag with a tight fit and takes the sending book downstairs to meet the others after we decide to tell them about the deck in addition to the meeting with the prof.

They are cuddling very fat very happy rats right now when we find them.

Diem: Good news and...interesting news.

*we tell them*

*we go over our primary goal*

We decide to let the local lawmaster know our statement too and told the front desk lady. Rana didn’t come along, she went to bed.

Diem mentioned meeting them again for breakfast because they have last night of potential company.

Phi asks about that on the way and Diem dishes about the sexy librarian with his dark teal skin. 

Ixayl’anu got a 13 on her insight check to the first story she overheard.

Contested against 23, she believed it all, but it was definitely just singing the praises of Teagan and nothing revealing at all about Diem themselves. (Insight checks were arranged after, Phi’s is yet to be determined)

(Getting on the boat)

Next day Diem doesn’t make it to breakfast but they do make it just in time.

Rana on stone: I have your stuff and bringing it with me to the boat, be there.

Diem: I’m already on my way I promise, I’ll be there soon *flying clothes on totally not already on the way*  Diem also manages to get a pearl on the way for their new identify spell.

Rana is a bit grumpy as she eats her breakfast taco

Ixayl’anu tells Rana she has something that might help, even though she seems to have a handle on water forms now *hands over water walking ring*

Rana: If you don’t mind I would like to hold on to this for the journey.

Ixayl’anu: Sure

*brusquely nods*

Diem: Oh my pack is making up, you guys <3

Rana spent all night preparing all the water spells.

Ixayl’anu dumps 4 shark teeth

Phi: What’s with that?

Ixayl’anu: It’s so we have a safe trip?

Diem: What? What’s what about?

Ixayl’anu: Don’t you have anything to give too?

Phi and Diem: No, do we need to?

Ixayl’anu looks worried and gives us shark teeth and tells us to throw them in too.

We do so and I’m totally interested in the story behind it. Tell me Ixayl’anu, pretty please!

Ixayl’anu: You just do it for safe passage from the spirits.

Clearly the guardian spirits of the ocean are the sharks. This just insures nothing that’s beyond the sailors skills will happen on this journey.

Diem talks about that being fair - no shark teeth is probably why they ended up overboard in a barrel their last trip to sea.

*Ixayl’anu hands Diem a small bag of shark teeth just in case.*

Diem: Do I dump all these in now or for later?

Ixayl’anu: Later, you shipwrecked seems you’ll need them. Diem gives a fair point shrug and happily holds on to them.

During all this talk, Rana has tossed in one of the prettier stones from her pocket and while stressing out, is looking to spot it in the water. Rana manages to spot her offering.

Phi tries to distract by asking Rana about her homeland.

Diem internally pouts over not hearing Ixayl’anu’s story about how she lost her body guards the first time around that didn’t go so well, but is also interested in stories about Rana’s homeland (and distracting her). (I think I missed some of the initial talk)

Rana: Don’t wanna be caught out in the desert without protection either from the sun, cold at night, etc.

Phi: Well you just have to trust the experts that know about the place we’re in, like we trust these experts in the ship we’re in.

Rana looks over like “I know what you’re doing” Yes we do don’t we, let’s get on this boat before I change my mind. *Throws in all her shark teeth too*

When we get on, we mostly get ignored by the crew.

(Aboard the ship, talking about Anesh, Rana sees a new animal form!)

Phi does 14 perception, few new faces, mostly the same crew. “Hey how many shark teeth did you throw in the water today?” to the one she knows to be the nicest/most tolerant.

Person looks at her with sheer incredulity “what are you talking about?” and walks away.

Phi 11 retro-active perception checks superstitious stuff among this crew, but hasn’t noticed any.

When shown their rooms, Diem asks Rana if she wants to share a room since there are only 3.

Ixayl’anu attempts to bring her elk aboard and gets a few looks from the crew, but they don’t deny her. The captain is nowhere to be seen. It can roam around 9 or put it in 12 (the actual hold). She bought elk supplies bedding/food for the trip.

On their rush to the boat, I did manage to buy a pearl because my patron tipped me off to check my spell book.

We all hang out on deck, Diem tries and fails to come up with positive ship stories to distract Rana.

Ixayl’anu asks Rana about where they’re going.

Rana rolls 14 history check: She knows it’s a port town (Farford), they do a lot of the trade that comes in from Petarus rather than overland - specialty seeds, various animals (not the metals which come from Bouldergap). She didn’t stick around too much. Before she met us she didn’t stick around anywhere very much, sold her goods and moved on.

Ixayl’anu: What’s it like in Anesh?

Rana: It’s pretty dry, it’s a desert - most of it, near the mountains you have more brushy cover. You don’t wanna go to Lake Nitron.

Phi: Why not?

Diem: What’s wrong with Lake Nitron?

Rana: It’s pretty deadly, only a few birds can survive out there it’s not really a place that you’d want to live. Sunhame is right in the middle of it all but most of the towns are either on the coastline or nearer the mountains where there’s cover.

Ixayl’anu: And that’s where your home is, up in the mountains?

Rana: Yeah, that’s where I learned all my druid craft at too

Ixayl’anu: What do your parents do?

Rana: It’s just my mom, she’s a tailor. My dad died before I was born so I can’t really tell you much about him. My brother is a blacksmith.

Sunhame is not as large as Miova but the rest of the towns are about the size of Budelia.

I’ve been to Sunhame a few times, it’s heavily religious. I spent a lot of time traveling between them all between my mom’s business and my brother’s blacksmithing. We don’t have anything like the shadowood where we’re from though, that’s a you guys thing.

Ixayl’anu: Do you have trees?

Rana: Some, a few up in the mountains scattered near them, but not a lot of them. It’s not as green, you guys have a very green country

Diem: Do you prefer it that way?

Rana: I like both places, nature exists (I missed the rest of this) yeah it’s not as green as Rethwellian but I think you guys will like it, it’s a nice place.

Ixayl’anu: I get the impression it’s really hot though

Rana: Yeah, it’s warm. It’s a desert.

(Established that Rana’s staff is made of hazel, found in the mountains.)

(I may have missed some more things. You’ve probably guessed but even when I don’t note this, it’s probably true even for conversations that seem whole.)

Rana talks until someone stops her, but we’re all on team distract Rana, so we encourage it.

We have occasionally seen the captain if we notice.

Calm sailing so far.

Ixayl’anu rolls a d20 for us for mysterious reasons.

About 3 hours into the day, noonish, we see a pod of killer whales hanging out with the boat. 

Rana ventures closer to the rail by then and adds it to her animals seen list.

Diem asks how her animal form hunting went.

Rana: I found a loud seal.

Diem: Did you try swimming?

Rana: No I just transformed into one so I know I can do it and watched them swimming so I’m sure they can. It’ll be fine.

Diem: Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be just fine. (As text this sounds like sarcasm but it wasn’t lol)

Rana: Yeah we’ll be okay.

Diem: We will absolutely be okay. (Also not sarcasm, but let’s not point out she didn’t try swimming in that form)

(Aboard the ship, Diem has identify now!) 

Before the end of the day, Diem picks a time when everyone’s near enough to hear them to tell Phi “guess what I learned how to do?”

Phi: What?

Diem: *brandishes pearl* I can identify things now!

Phi: And what’s that?

Diem: Oh the pearl I need to cast it.

Phi: So does that mean you could find out what this card can do?

Diem: Maybe, wanna try?

Phi: Yeah *hands it over*

Diem starts trying 

Phi: Oh but I also wanted to ask you how your night went.

Diem: *tries to concentrate on ritual but gives up to just answer the question* do you want to know that now or after I cast the ritual?

Phi: Oh later is fine.

Phi leaves so they can concentrate.

Diem finds it out after 15 minutes instead of just 10 and tells Phi it is the vizier and what it does.

Phi looks disappointed (I think because the card also lost its ability to be any card she wanted at a thought but all I literally wrote here is “Phi looks disappointed scene” and then failed to remember details I was so sure I could fill in later :P) (Aboard the ship: Keeping company with spiderwalking elks, Phi and Diem have a talk)

Ixyal’anu goes to keep her elk company after awhile.

Before the end of the night, Diem and Phi go to Phi’s room to dish the details on Diem’s last night with Teagan. By the time they get there, however, Diem has a more serious, related topic on their mind that alters this discussion (Sorry at the time I was stuck in the “no live awkward rated R details” mode and forgot something happened that would give Diem pause over the “after hours” story time).

Rana casts spider climb on the elk again to make herself feel better.

Ixayl’anu, confused, asks it “did you do this? How do you do this?”

Elk: I’m on the ceiling, it’s great!

Unfortunately realizes he can’t swallow upside down so comes down to swallow his food.

Ixayl’anu: You need to teach me this trick

Elk: I don’t know how I do it, it just happens.

Ixayl’anu insight checks 18 *stares down the elk*

Elk: Sometimes when your friend comes around I can do this.

Ixayl’anu: Which One?

Elk: The copper one

(Aboard the ship - next day shenanigans, I think? Day 3 shenanigans? I didn’t make the timeline very clear in these notes) At some point during the day, Diem snuck in Phi’s room to take back the doll from her packs, then tried to sneak it into her arms that night 20 stealth vs 25 perception, Phi wakes to see Diem looming over her, reaching out. 

Diem quickly hides doll behind their back and is very awkward about this. Rana doesn’t cuddle and I wanted to see if you would.

Phi wants to know what they were doing, why they were reaching out for her face though.

They awkwardly try to explain that there was something on her face.

Phi tells them they’re being creepy. Diem: Oh, and who snuck into my room in Budelia just sitting on the end of my bed watching me? That wasn’t creepy? Deflection fails so Diem shows her the doll and pretends they were trying to get rid of it for her before she woke up and freaked out.  This backfires as Phi gets really really freaked out and Diem decides they can’t go through with that either and admits that they did it, they were actually trying to *leave the doll in her arms* to find later and it’s just one of those normal dolls of the queen they were handing out at the festival.

Phi: I changed my mind, you’re not getting cuddles tonight.

Diem *crushed to lose cuddles*: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were that scared of it - What if I throw it overboard right now - an offering to the sharks?

Phi agrees to cuddle after all if Diem throws the doll overboard. We do so and then go sleep in the same room with Rana. Note: I think I forgot to note the passage of some uneventful days mixed up in this trip somewhere because otherwise we’d have only 2 full days out to sea, arriving in the morning of day 3. As such, I went back through the notes to note when an (the?) uneventful day(s?) might’ve occurred. (Ocean Voyage Day ?: What happened to Kelly?)

By the time the rest of us wake up, Rana is probably already on deck sitting miserably.

Diem tries to cheer her up but it’s mostly cause she’s not feeling well.

Ixayl’anu begins to notice how weird it is that this crew is quiet and antisocial

Diem doesn’t really notice but tries to encourage sea shanties. A few look my way (19 persuasion) and catch themselves humming before quickly cutting off and going silent again.

Ixayl’anu starts talking to phi about how strange this is

Diem agrees, noting how the ships they’ve been on always sing shanties and clearly some of this crew knows them…

Ixayl’anu: and they’re usually shouting back and forth about things they’re doing/seeing.

Phi: Maybe they don’t need to communicate like that?

Diem: Yeah maybe they all follow old ones...? Wait that sounded way more ominous out loud than in my head.

Rana is glaring at us.

Ixayl’anu: *Grumbling* it’s usually more lively than this, I just don’t like it.

Phi realizes something about something Tel whispered her: Wait a second guys, I wanna go ask somebody something *goes to find the guy who thought the whole shark teeth thing was weird*

Phi makes a 17 investigation roll, she does not see the person she was looking for, but she had seen him since launch.

Phi returns and tells us she can’t find the guy she spoke to yesterday when we set out.

Diem: Are all the little boats still here?

Ixayl’anu casts divine sense but doesn’t sense any celestial, fiends, or undead: Do you know his name? Maybe you could ask about him?

Phi doesn’t know why we’re worried, but she knows his name (Sean something I missed) and could go asking even though she’s not worried.

Diem messages: Are you really not worried or are you saying that for Rana’s benefit, you can respond to this message.

Phi: Well I’m not worried but I’m getting worried that you’re worried. You can respond to this message.

Phi goes off to ask the captain and knocks, hears sigh.

Cpn: What can I do for you Selphina?

Phi: I was gonna ask Kelly a question but I can’t find him, do you know where he is?

Peter gets quiet and then says “Oh no, Mr Kelly had other engagements and didn’t join us this go around.”

Phi: But I saw him yesterday…?

Cpn: You must’ve been mistaken.

Insight check 10. She knows he’s lying but doesn’t know anything else about it, only that something about this is not right. It’s also suddenly degrees colder in this room.

Phi: I guess I was mistaken.

Cpn: No worries it happens to everyone

Phi: How’s the trip going, are we on schedule?

Cpn: Oh we’re making excellent time, we should be there by morning.

Phi: Excellent

Upon returning to us, Phi: Guys I don’t think we should be talking near the captain’s door in the future, but I was clearly mistaken

Phi actively tries to get out of the conversation and drop it.

Diem suggests maybe it’s this crew’s own superstitions like “quiet passage for quiet passage.”

Ixayl’anu says maybe she’ll be be less worried about it then. (Aboard the ship: Ambergris!)

At some point during the day we see a lump of grey goo overboard about the size of 2 milk crates. Definitely smaller than a chair.

Ixayl’anu notices it first, rolls a 12 on nature check, it’s not something her culture uses but it’s whale vomit and worth its weight in gold.

She points it out, gives fancy ambergris name to us and looks for a bucket, Phi tries to help.

We found a bucket, it’s probably not big enough for this. Ixayl’anu hits the thing, but realizes the bucket is too small.

Rana casts control water to keep it with the ship. Diem runs to get their special rope. 

When they return with rope, it ties off successfully and Ixayl’anu manages to get it up to the boat, with all four of us pulling we successfully get it on board (mostly Rana’s 21 and no thanks to my 2 lol).

It smells not great.

Diem: Oh that’s awful *prestidigitations it to smell like flowers* (Except it’s old enough to be hard and not smell too awful anymore)

We talk about getting it in the black of holding and breaking it in pieces so we don’t rip our bag.

Rana asks about what it’s for, is it part of the meteor?

Ixie: No, it’s...well it’s whale vomit.

Diem: Oh, gross... *looks at their hands and casts prestidigitation*

Rana goes back over to sit where she was before like oh my god as the rest of us talk about it being valuable. She leaves the bag of holding with us to break it and stick it in the bag.

Phi: This is awesome, the best day ever, I’m going to throw shark teeth in the water every time!

Ixayl’anu: *excited* yeah the teeth just show up on the beach it’s so easy to find them. (not knowing if that’s true everywhere).

Diem: Or maybe the whale just saw that doll (as an aside to Phi)? 

Phi laughs.

We have a pleasant evening, no plans.

Ixayl’anu gives a heads up to the elk: Watch listen tonight so you can stay up. Keep your ears open.

Evening perception checks: me (literal 0), Ixayl’anu: (nat 20), Rana: 21, Selphina: 10. (Ancient Whalesong Magic!)

Rana can’t sleep tonight. She hears a low wailing that goes into a series of clicks. She hears it all night long.

Rana goes to Ixayl’anu’s room and asks “What is that?” It sounds like they’re following the boat or just all around us.  A lot of them and very close.

Ixayl’anu: It’s whale song

Rana: Why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: Well it’s...I don’t know what they use it for, but it’s communication

Rana: But why are they so loud?

Ixayl’anu: I don’t know *both go above deck to check it out*

Rana makes 7 perception, Ixayl’anu a 14. She knows what to look for - occasionally she sees a spout but they’re not hanging out at the surface, only coming up to breathe and going back down, unlike what she’s used to.

Looking out over the water for a little bit they speak with animals at about the same time. About 10-14 whales.

Rana or Ixayl’anu: What are you singing about?

A whale: We’re working

Another whale: We’re busy

Now that they can hear what they’re saying, it doesn’t make sense at first, it has a weird strange poetic cadence to it, it kinda sounds like chanting or a ritual spell.

Ixayl’anu makes an 8 on arcana check

Rana wants to see if this is natural and rolls an 18 nature check. It seems like a natural thing, these are natural whales.

Ixayl’anu: What’s the song about?

There are words they can recognize, but she didn’t pre-arrange the song (Bless you if you know what I meant at the end of this statement).

19 perception from Ixayl’anu to get the meaning through the overlapping song. It’s about wrapping something around things and tying things together and binding something, repetitive in the round song way (row row row your boat lol) about keeping something together, apart from everything else.

Rana is leaning over the railing intrigued by all this.

Ixayl’anu is looking for any visual signs, 14, little waves, but not enough to disturb the pretty view of moonlight on the water. She doesn’t hear any birds or any other splashing. Very quiet other than the whale song.

Rana excitedly runs below deck to wake Phi and Diem up to experience the whales too! Diem actually does manage to perceive whales. It is very cool.

Rana (to whales): Are you coming with us?

A Whale: No we have our own business to attend to

Rana: Where are you going?

Whale: Here

Ixayl’anu: Are you hunting?

Whale: No, we are not hunting. We are very busy.

Rana: Do you need help?

One of the whales spy hops, large whale between humpback and blue whale (fin whale).

Diem: Wow that is so cool.

Rana gets the sense it’s looking at her and comes back down with a snort: I don’t think you could.

Rana: You’d be surprised. I might be able to help if you need help, but what’re you doing?

Whale: It is old magic for our kind.

Ixayl’anu and Rana ask them more about it, find out they’re doing some kind of binding ritual.

Rana casts locate object looking for pieces of the meteor.

She does not sense anything within a thousand feet of her. 

Rana: Is it about a rock?

Whale: It is about the project

Rana looks at Ixayl���anu with an unspoken question.

Ixayl’anu shrugs.

Whale clarifies: The Great Project

Rana: Good luck!

One whale acknowledges with a little fin wave

Rana: They clarified it wasn’t about a rock

Diem knows of sailors telling a few tales of whales helping shipwrecked people and other species and some people say the whales seem to be very benevolent forces, not really heard of magic, just weird sailor tales.

Diem suggests maybe the great project has to do with the sharks teeth thing.

Eventually over the next half hour we get out of immediate range, but we hear them for the rest of the night.

Phi dozed off leaning against something.

We go back to bed and the whole thing puts us at a later rising time. (Farford on the horizon!)

When we wake up we see Farford in the distance.

We’re gonna get 30k platinum for the amber gris (7500 each)

Next session: Jan 14th 5pm. (But really...tomorrow, it’s tomorrow!)

We don’t need to rp out selling whale vomit.

Phi kept a little jar of amber gris for future trade options.

Ixayl’anu tries to find more shark teeth.

(Omitted notes to self with note of omission so I remember to reference them for establishing some previous details)

Diem promises when they receive their cut of the amber gris, to name their firstborn after Ixayl’anu lol.

[ladybugg1235]

Collision part 3

Thorin x you reader

Wow finnaly I finished part 3 of my Collison series and omg it was tough i lost alot of my work and had to redo it an tweak it a bit and try remember what i wrote or rewrite it up some but yay Finnally done lol this may seem like a filler and maybe more movie like direction I just went with it I may change it up in coming chapters not sure yet depends ,when I write I get an idea and just go with it lol I hope y'all like sorry about any mistakes spelling Etc

Recap: "I think that's enough for tonight. We have a long journey ahead of us. We'll discuss this in the morning I'll take first watch" and with that said and one last look at you Thorin turned and perched himself on a slight cliff rock a small ways from company gazing out into the distance .

Well then ... I guess he shut that shit down ..(hehe see what i did there lol )

After thorin made his way to other the side of camp the company simmer down and return to their bed rolls while you just stood there looking like a jackass without a cart to pull staring hard at thorins back.

What the hell just happened ?? You thought

you knew thorin pretty well his story the whole middle earth 411 as far books and movies are concerned but was it enough ? you didn't know for sure how this will play out but needed to be sure you had a place in the company but most of all you wanted thorin to trust and except you .

So What now ..

As you continue to stare at thorin's back you contemplated to go to him or just leave him be til morning hmm decisions decisions... 10 minutes later you made up your mind

"Thorin?" Silence .....ok then

"I don't mean to bug you or anything i know you may want to wait til morning but i was hoping we could talk or you can just listen whatever works"

silence again alrighty then

"I know this is all strange and unusual to you me showing up like this in fact it's just as strange for me but I was hoping that maybe if possible if I could stay I'll pull my own weight I promise I won't get in the way this place is foreign to me yes but I have a big idea about Middle-earth I know it's dangerous and there's no way that I would be able to- you paused what I'm trying to say is if I may I was hoping that I could tag along the thing is I'm stuck here there's no going back to my home in fact as of now I don't have a home and well I just needed to know if I have your permission to stay? Thorin remain silent . okay then this is not awkward at all

"so yeah ok then I'll leave you to it i just want to let you know and all good night" with that said you turned on your heel cursing under your breath feeling like an idiot before you made it to the other side Thorin spoke his words surprising you.

"Y/n" you may stay.. get some rest you'll be riding with me in the morning"

Hmm a man- i mean dwarf of few words ...

With that said you made your way to your bag to set up a place to sleep with big smile on your face maybe this wont be so bad after all ....

I take it back !!!

Three weeks.... three weeks maybe less maybe more you didn't know for sure all you could think was

WHAT THE HELL was I thinking??!!

Go to middle earth the witch said it'll be fun She said the most amazing experience a dream come true .....yeaaah about that..

Amazing is not the word you'd use at this moment..

filthy... that's what you felt and not to mention everything hurt after long rides on horseback ( even though those were not to bad hint riding with thorin just saying)

sleeping on the ground and coming across gigantic stupid trolls and exploring stinky troll cave then talking to a wizard with bird shit in their hair (somebody really needs to tell the guy) now here you are running away from orcs wanting to kill you..... Good times.

Running ( always running ) Hiding behind Boulder after Boulder as the brown wizard tried to lead the orcs away with his cute little band of bunnies (what there stinkin cute ) Gandalf leading the way going one way then going another.

"where are you leading us" thorin said with frustration Gandalf said nothing and continue to lead on the company followed close behind Finally coming to another boulder squeezing you and a bilbo in the middle (conveniently very close to thorin)

This is familiar.....

Thorin gave you a brief look oddly pulling you closer to him as he looked up everyone remained still hearing the warg and orc from above thorin looked to his youngest nephew giving him a nod then Kili took the shot ..

Bullseye!!

After pretty much kicking the shit out of said Warg and orc ( i think it's dead you guys)

More running

As you and the company came to a clearing orcs begin to close in on you and the company "

"Where's Gandalf? "He's abandoned us!!

"Where surrounded" fili added

"Everyone hold your ground!!!" Thorin yelled

than right on time Gandalf appears screaming

"Over here you fools!!" Don't have to tell me twice you thought

You started to run like a mad woman not paying any attention to where you going but to the orcs following close behind

You could hear your name along with Kilis as you neared closer to the hidden hole under the boulder you being the last one ( so not a fan of running ) started to tumble a bit unable to slow down or catch your feet running right into thorin

Again....

You both rolled down the hole til you came to a stop you once again on top of thorin

Well then.... This day keeps getting better and better.. Within seconds after hearing the horn of elves he rolls you on your back him now on top as all hell brakes loose above .

Thorin quickly gets up pulling you to your feet moving you to the side just in time as a dead orc rolls down to your feet .

"Eves!!" Thorin Growled Taking out the arrow from the orc throwing it to the ground in disgust.

Throwing a tiny temper tantrum I see

You shaked your head and moved closer to the orc out of curiosity

Ewww these things really do stink you thought as you continue to stare at the dead orc you could hear the company buzzing about a pathway and following it.

"I think that would be wise " Gandalf said Thorin gave him a suspicious look as he passed by him joining the others

Familiar indeed ...

Rivendell....

This place is heaven on earth you knew the dwarves were not to keen on the place that was pretty much evident when you and the company arrived the dwarves already on guard forming a circle you and bilbo pushed in the middle dwarves armed and ready non the less there was no way you'd pass up on a real bed and yes... a bath!!!

Once the company came to a calm and realisation food and bath was being offered for how ever long needed they didn't have to tell you twice ...they so had you at the word bath !!!

Now Here were soaking in a beautiful elven tub taking advantage of the lovely soaps (omg these smell divine) and warm water it was like a dream spa and you were gonna to enjoy it not knowing when you will get another chance like this again.

After your bath you notice there was a beautiful flowy f/c dress layed out neatly on your bed you quickly put it on Looking in the mirror you had to admit it look really good on you it was the perfect fit complimenting your figure.

How on earth did these elves know your size?

You shrugged and with one last look in the mirror you made your way out to find the company.

Wow this place bigger then you thought it took you a bit but finally you found the company singing and acting like

Well dwarves

Bofur was in the middle singing away the company followed suit banging tables and spoons then when the song came to an end a food fight broke loose

You stood by thorin unnoticed until you started giggling the company stop all eyes now on you (Thorin doing a double take ) No not awkward at all.

Just Silence until Lord elrond spoke

"Ah lady y/n so happy you can join us hope your room is most accommodating And I must say the dress looks lovely on you".

"Thank you and it's very beautiful thank you so much "

"Your most welcome please have a seat" his palm up arm outstretched pointing to the seat beside Gandalf you made your way over thorin following close behind.

As you start to pull out your seat thorin beats you to it pulling your chair out pushing you in and placing himself in the seat next to you.

Wow ..not expecting that.

"Thank you " you said shyly he nodded and the discussion on swords and what not begin.

When the time came for thorin ,Gandalf and Lord elrond ( bilbo included) to take their leave to discuss Thorin's map

you excused your self and did a little exploring finding a very comfy sofa in what looked like a Library

taking out a book you plopped yourself on the comfy sofa fanning your dress out and started to read but your mind was elsewhere.

Thorin ...

The way thorin has been acting towards you so far on this journey has made you very curious yes can be a bit rough around the edges even a bit harsh and short at times but there was a caring and gentle side you were starting to see.

Ever since you met in the three weeks or so you noticed how much he changed around you

little things like the looks he would give you when he thinks your not looking or how he seems to want you close by at all times (giving accuses about for your safety of course) or how when riding on horseback he always made sure that you road with him only ( those moments were very nice just saying ) and let's not forget falling on top of him....twice. So far no complaints there

And just awhile ago how he pulled out the chair for you (well he is a king their suppose to be all gentleman like Right? ) needless to say it made you feel ... Well special?

Those little moments made you wonder once again what was going on in that head of his he was like an enigma maybe it was nothing non the less you continue to ponder until you fell into a deep asleep .

@burningcoffeetimetravel @legolaslovely @fizzyxcustard @the-durin-boys. @ithilwen-lionheart

@emrfangirl. @thorinoakenshieldconfessions. @ladyoakenshield. Many more i missed :)

[nasa]

10 Things: Mysterious 'Oumuamua

The interstellar object 'Oumuamua perplexed scientists in October 2017 as it whipped past Earth at an unusually high speed. This mysterious visitor is the first object ever seen in our solar system that is known to have originated elsewhere.  Here are five things we know and five things we don’t know about the first confirmed interstellar object to pass through our solar system.

1. We know it’s not from around here.

 The object known as 1I/2017 U1 (and nicknamed ‘Oumuamua) was traveling too fast (196,000 mph, that’s 54 miles per second or 87.3 kilometers per second) to have originated in our solar system. Comets and asteroids from within our solar system move at a slower speed, typically an average of 12 miles per second (19 kilometers per second) . In non-technical terms, 'Oumuamua is an “interstellar vagabond.”

Artist impression of the interstellar object ‘Oumuamua. Credit: ESA/Hubble, NASA, ESO, M. Kornmesser

2. We’re not sure where it came from.

'Oumuamua entered our solar system from the rough direction of the constellation Lyra, but it’s impossible to tell where it originally came from. Thousands of years ago, when 'Oumuamua started to wander from its parent planetary system, the stars were in a different position so it’s impossible to pinpoint its point of origin. It could have been wandering the galaxy for billions of years.

3. We know it’s out of here.

'Oumuamua is headed back out of our solar system and won’t be coming back. It’s rapidly headed in the direction of the constellation Pegasus and will cross the orbit of Neptune in about four years and cover one light year’s distance in about 11,000 years.

4. We don’t really know what it looks like.

We’ve only seen it as a speck of light through a telescope (it is far away and less than half a mile in length), but its unique rotation leads us to believe that it’s elongated like a cigar, about 10 times longer than it is wide. We can’t see it anymore. Artist’s concepts are the best guesses at what it might look like.

5. We know it got a little speed boost.

A rapid response observing campaign allowed us to watch as 'Oumuamua got an unexpected boost in speed. The acceleration slightly changed its course from earlier predictions.

“This additional subtle force on ′Oumuamua likely is caused by jets of gaseous material expelled from its surface,” said Davide Farnocchia of the Center for Near Earth Object Studies (CNEOS) at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. “This same kind of outgassing affects the motion of many comets in our solar system.”

6. We know it’s tumbling.

Unusual variations in the comet’s brightness suggest it is rotating on more than one axis.

This illustration shows ‘Oumuamua racing toward the outskirts of our solar system. As the complex rotation of the object makes it difficult to determine the exact shape, there are many models of what it could look like. Credits: NASA/ESA/STScI

7. We don’t know what it’s made of.

Comets in our solar system kick off lots of dust and gas when they get close to the Sun, but 'Oumuamua did not, which led observers to consider defining it as an asteroid.

Karen Meech, an astronomer at the University of Hawaii’s Institute of Astronomy, said small dust grains, present on the surface of most comets, may have eroded away during ′Oumuamua's long journey through interstellar space. "The more we study ′Oumuamua, the more exciting it gets." she said. It could be giving off gases that are harder to see than dust, but it’s impossible to know at this point.

8. We knew to expect it.

Just not when. The discovery of an interstellar object has been anticipated for decades. The space between the stars probably has billions and billions of asteroids and comets roaming around independently. Scientists understood that inevitably, some of these small bodies would enter our own solar system. This interstellar visit by ‘Oumuamua reinforces our models of how planetary systems form.

9. We don’t know what it’s doing now.

After January 2018, 'Oumuamua was no longer visible to telescopes, even in space. But scientists continue to analyze the data gathered during the international observing campaign and crack open more mysteries about this unique interstellar visitor.

10. We know there’s a good chance we’ll see another one...eventually.

Because ′Oumuamua is the first interstellar object ever observed in our solar system, researchers caution that it’s difficult to draw general conclusions about this newly-discovered class of celestial bodies. Observations point to the possibility that other star systems regularly eject small comet-like objects and there should be more of them drifting among the stars. Future ground- and space-based surveys could detect more of these interstellar vagabonds, providing a larger sample for scientists to analyze. Adds, Karen Meech, an astronomer at the University of Hawaii’s Institute of Astronomy: “I can hardly wait for the next interstellar object!"

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.

[supernova1us]

TFA-Transform and roll out(recast)

a fic based on the TFA opener but with the original planned cast, with red alert and hot shot replacing ratchet and bee.

Optimus prime sat at his command seat watching the old war historical documents, longing for the supposed glory they portrayed.  Red alert, the slim red and white femme medic and second in command came up to stand behind him.

“sir, why do you insist on continuing to view outdated archives?” she asked calmly

“all the great autobot leaders learned from the past”

“but war time lessons are no longer needed.  The great war has been over for centuries, and by the will of the all-spark, it will be the last one we see”

“but don’t you wish you were there, just a little? To see what it was really like? What the decepticons were really like?”

“I have learned all I need from studies, like you should have.  And from what I’ve read of the decepticons, I’d say we’re better not knowing”

Red alert then directed optimus’ attention to the sight of the massive green autobot Bulkhead dangling from a cliff by his wrecking ball, shouting for help.

“at the moment though, I think your “soldier instincts” are needed elsewhere” she said dryly

Optimus huffed and they made their way to the cargo bay and exit ramp.

“I get it red alert, war is bad, but do you ever get the feeling that we’re programmed for more than just repairing space bridges?”

“I have a diagnostics program that erases those thoughts like a virus in a fire wall” she said with the slightest hint of sarcasm

Optimus huffed as they transformed and headed out onto the asteroid.  The hard thing about having red alert around was how monotone she could be. It was so hard to tell when she was happy, serious or snarky.  The only emotions she expressed normally were anger and annoyance, usually towards Hot Shot. Hot shot himself was hopping up the hill to try to free bulkhead, moving like a sleek blue, red and yellow streak.

“hurry up, I really hate heights” bulkhead whined

“calm down bulkhead, im working as fast as possible, and there is no bot faster than me, and you know it” he grinned

Hot shot produced his arm mounted flame throwers and shouted with excitement at unleashing a blast wave of flames on the rocks, or would have if he could produce any in the vacuum of space.  Grunting at the realization, he started banging and stomping on the rocks to free the wrecking ball, rocking its owner around.  

“oh, I think im going to blow a gasket”

“calm down and try to hold it in a little long…”

Suddenly the rocks cracked and broke apart and crumbled, sending both bots falling to the ground. After they landed on each other, optimus and red alert arrived and transformed. Red alert narrowed her eye with frustration at the sight of hot shot being dinged up and in need of repairs, again.

“alright, what seems to be the problem?” optimus asked rhetorically

“the problem? The problem is that we are stuck out in the middle of nowhere crushing rocks for outdated spce bridges!” hot shot snapped

“what I don’t get is why anyone would want to transport to this allspark forsaken sector” bulkhead added

“that isn’t the point bulkhead. We have a job to do here, and no problem is insurmountable with the right tool…and a little team work”

Optimus began chopping debris with his axe and encouraged the others to join in.  bulkheads strength made crushing the rocks easy, though it was harder for hot shot to break them down, especially with his flame throwers so weak. Low level heat blast were however enough to weaken them enough to break down.  Red alert, though thinking the task below her, also helped; laser blasts from her prosthetic hand to cut through them easily.  Optimus suddenly realized that they were one crew member short.

“you to prowl…hey, where is prowl?’

Suddenly a shurikan whizzed by optimus to slice a nearby rock before returning to the hiding prowls hand.  The aloof black and gold bot then stepped from the shadows.

“just have to know the weak spot” he said with a hint of condescension

“next time, might want to give us a little more waring” optimus cautioned with and edge

“that would just mess up my timing” prowl said dismissively

Red alert turned from the others only to look up to see a smiling bulkhead, only to turn in another direction, pretending to be adjusteing he rhand emblacement.She shook her head; the conflicting personalities of their crew were creating an unproductive and hostile working environment.  This was far from the career she thought she would have.

Hot shot saw red alerts discomfort with the situation and, as always, decided to push her buttons.  

“careful doc bot, if you frown any more your lower jaw is gonna detach” he smirked

She then produced a laser scalpel from her emplacement and leveled it with hotshots face.

“If that is the case then I will just have requisition your own” she said calm but in a threatening tone

“why is she so grumpy all the time?” bulkhead whispered

“you’d by grumpy to if you had one servo in the scrap heap” he smirked

Suddenly the taller femme was in his face and her tone far more harsh.

“I may have one servo in the scrap heap, but my audio receptors still work perfectly, and if you do not stop pushing me rookie, I will gladly disconnect your vocal processor” she scowled

Sensing the tension, optimus wanted to give his team something to focus on.

“ok, I know we’re stuck out here in the middle of nowhere on a thankless assignment, but remember, we’re all cogs in the great big autobot machine…”

“not this speech again” prowl moaned

He buried his face in his hand in annoyance.  Hot shot was also more visually pained by the experience.  Bulkhead and red alert where just as weary but where better at politely feigning interest.  

“…a machine that’s stronger as a whole, than any one component part.  Together, we can move montains”

The speech was punctuated by sudden rumpling of rocks around them and activation of the space bridge they were clearing.  The blast of energy sent them and the debris flying in every direction.  

“oh you sure have a way with words boss bot!” hot shot yelled as he tumbled away

In an impressive flurry of moves, prime utilized his axe and grappling hook to stop the debris, aid each of his team mates and shut down the space bridge.  As the dust settled and the autobots picked themselves up, they were left in awe of the unassuming prime skills.  

“impressive” prowl admitted as he shut bulkheads gaped jaw

“where’d you learn moves like that?” bulkhead asked

It was a question everyone was asking inside. Red alert was busy fixing hot shots damaged shoulder but turned away to glance at optimus, wanting to hear the answer as well.

“I trained at the autobot academy” optimus ashamedly admitted

Red alert stood and her eyes narrowed skeptically.

“so, what is an academy trained bot doing leading a mere maintenance crew?”

She felt a sting fury. As the medic, she had no knowledge of this about her commander.

“well, whats one of the best medics the autobots has ever seen her also”

Red alert was viably taken aback by his knowledge and forwardness in the question.

“ooo, burn.  He got you good red.  But for real boss bot, her, I don’t think so.  The bed side manner is a little too rough around the edges. Let me guess prime, wash out? Yeah, me to.  They said I had an issue with authority, and let’s face it, they were threatened by the up and coming Magnus I am…”

Hot shots yammering was only silenced when red alert clasped her hand tightly over his mouth.  Optimus was suddenly drawn to an otherworldly light emanating from a rock. Against the advice of his crew, he cleaves it with his axe, revealing a strange glowing artifact.  

“what is it?” bulkhead spoke up

“don’t know…maybe we should take it back to the ship so the doc bot can check it out”

No rebuttal or argument came from red alert, who just look at it completely astounded, almost mesmerized.

“red alert..?”

“telatraan 1 to optimus prime. Unidentified spacecraft entering this sector: Energy signature consistent with decepticon warship”

“decepticon, that must be a mistake. The decpeticons were destroyed centuries ago” optimus voiced

“Defeated in battle, not destroyed.  An “academy bot” should know that prime. We should get back to the ship immediantly”

“but what is that thing?”

“I have a wild theory but we must secure it first”

Red alert quickly transformed and had the artifact loaded into her alt mode and sped off towards the ship, with the others following behind her. They quickly boarded their ship and made full speed away from the new ship. In the cargo bay the artifact was unloaded and red alert began examining it franticly.  

“red alert, any idea what it is”

“you seem to be the historian prime, does the all-spark sound familiar”

“obviously.  The most powerful energy source in the universe. It gave the spark of life to all cybertronian”

“every bot knows that story” bulkhead groaned

“yeah, along with spark eaters and were-turbo foxes” hot shot joked

“According to records, one of the main reasons the great war was won was by ensuring the all spark remained out of decepticon reach.  It was reportedly sent through a spacebridge to be hidden in some unknown corner of the galaxy”

“incredible” optimus admitted

“so your saying we, of all bots in the universe, found the all spark?!” hot shot shook

“perhaps, it found us” optimus mused

“Unlikely, prime. It is merely and energy source of unknown magnitude, But I must admit I never thought I would ever see it.  The research and knowledge I could gleam by examining it could be…”

“warning: spacecraft approaching. Positive identification as decepticon warship.

“it isn’t the only one that’s found us” prowl said dryly

The crew got to their bridge positions and made all speed for autobot controlled territory. Prowl checked the scanners for the persuing ship.

“it’s following us” he reported

“you desired to see the decepticons up close, well looks like you’ve gotten your wish” red alert said dryly

Optimus frowned at the statement, realizing the irony in the situation.

“yo, tell me this aint actually happening.  We are not getting chased by decepticons.  We’re just a maintenance crew” hot shot complained

“we cannot out run them forever, and any attempts at combat are astronomical” red alert commented

“not without back they aren’t.  patch me through to cybertron command head quarters” optimus ordered

“wow, when you want back up you go straight to the top” bulkhead commented

Optimus smiled at the compliment, slightly savoring his memories in the original field. Red alert raised a skeptical brow, confused on how optimus could even have clearance to high command. The creen lit up with the large chin and blue armor of sentinel prime.  Red alert was even more shocked, knowing vry well that sentinel was second in command of the elite guard.

“optimus prime, you mean they still let you command other autobots” sentinel smugly smiled

“don’t start sentinel, just put me through to altra magnus”

Red alert was surprised again, that optimus apparently knew sentinel personally, but also thinks he could talk to the supreme leader of the autobots simply by asking.

“now how could a third rate rock buster possibly merit the autobot supreme commanders attention?” sentinel said dismissively

Red alert and the others all frowned.  Word was known that sentinel prime was an unlikable bot, but seeing his condescension first hand was fuel boiling.  Hot shot frowned up at the prime, having had past experience with him, getting and itchy trigger finger with his flame throwers.  However, optimus’ experience with the other prime was far more personal, and was having none of sentinel attitude under these circumstances.

“display cargo hold visual” optimus ordered

Red alert clicked few controls and a video feed was brought up for sentinel to see of the allspark. His look and temperament immediately changing, he casually patched them through. Red alert turned and gave optimus and approving smirk at his clever maneuvering. Suddenly and stern looking and aged blue bot appeared on the screen. His eye briefly glanced to register red alerts presence before focusing on optimus.  

“ultra magnus here optimus, we’re tracking your decepticon signal; probably just a lost scout ship. Ever since we drove them off cybertron, the cons have been wondering the periphery. They’d never be so foolish as to invade autobot space. Still, I’m sending out a strike force to intercept if necessary.  In the meantime, you and your bots just sit tight. And prime, don’t try to be a hero, it’s not in your programming” the commander finished his orders before the screen went black

“decepticons still on our tail and closing in fast” prowl reported from the scanners

“then were the flag are they?” hot shot pointed out

Getting antsy and a nervous feeling in his spark, optimus began typing orders into his control panel.

“telatraan 1, set a course for the nearest space bridge” he ordered

“but Ultra magnus said to sit tight” bulkhead questioned

“with all due respect, ultra magnus isn’t carrying the all spark”

Red alert couldn’t argue with the logic; sitting there would be poor solution in the circumstances. The ship did as commanded and came about quickly to head back to the space bridge they were previously dicked with.

“so, we’ll make a V line for the nearest space bridge and blast through whatever debris is in our way” he ordered

As they made their way through the thin asteroid field, their path was suddenly blocked as massive fearsome purple war ship rose to block them.  Red alert qickly calculated that it appeared to be at least 50 times larger than their repair ship.

“uh, boss bot, I don’t think we can blast through that” bulkhead said nervously

“oh slag” hot shot squeaked

“I’ve never seen a decepticon ship up close” bulkhead added

“according to archives, none have and lived” red alert admitted with a bit of depression in her voice

Optimus scanned it and ran it through the information archives, and red alert leaned over to see his result.

“it’s a command ship, I recognize the markings from the history vids” optimus announced flatly

Red alert read the same description on his screen and turned to look at the enemy with visual distress

“megaron” she added in shock                                                          

“hooooo, hold an astro sec; megatron, as in the cruel and merciless decepticon leader?  The bot they say is bigger than ultra magnus, that could single handedly destroy whole ships and city blocks.  The megatron that is said to eat autobot protoforms for breakfast, that megatron?”

“yes.  Though I do not put much faith in the protoform eating part” red alert said with a straight face

Hot shot scowled at her condescension; he hated being looked down on by other bots. The only bot he liked looking down at him was bulkhead, and that was only because he was taller than him.

“quit giving him a hard time doc” bulkhead voiced out

“and perhaps who should quit enabling his belligerent behavior” prowl turned to bulkhead

“enough arguing, all of you! We have a more serious situation here; why aren’t that attacking”

“there are any number of reasons or strategies.  But, why are we not also mobile, should we not attmpt to flee or out maneuver them?” red alert asked

“if we do they will counter, but we will let them make the first move so we can counter. Always let your adversary be the first to make a mistake” he answered calmly

Clearly optimus’ time in the elite guard training had done more for his leadership skills than she had previously noticed. Suddenly one of the decepticon ships’ cannons trained on them and fired. Optimus ordered the ship to take evasive maneuvers and they dodged the blast. Red alert felt an increasing feeling of fear and fury rise in her.  It was a decepticon booby trap in the last days of the war when she was a very young medic that had taken her original right hand.  No she felt slight panic at being so close to such conflict again.  Optimus fell on his command console and made an order that secretly surprised the medic.

“activate emergency defense system; codename: omega”

Red alert was shocked. Optimus’ knowledge of that part of the ship less so; he was the commander and likely knew of the ships history, but that he would actually attempt to activate it.

“im sorry; this function has been disabled in compliance with cybertrons ongoing efforts to conserve energon” telatraan 1 reported back

“what?!” optimus gasped

Another energy blast grazed the side of the ship and knocked the autobots about as the ship automatically swerved to avoid other attacks and rocketed past the larger vessel.

“we’re as good as dead aren’t we? Oh god this is it for us, for me”

Hot shot went into a brief panic, his wrist spouting  flames as a sign of his distress. The calmed as they managed to pass the decepticons and get by them, the larger ship slowely following and continue to fire.

“was does it feel like they’re just toying with us?” hot shot asked

“all shots appear to be targeted to disable us, not destroy us, why? Red alert added

“because they want the allspark and don’t want to risk destroying it with us” optimus frowned

“warning: asteroid field. Initiated alternate route” the computer announced

“override” optimus ordered it

The ship continued its course, swerving all about to avoid he asteroids that the continued enemy fire simply shredded through.  The decepticon ship sped up and came to briefly look over them, yet its laser blasts had stopped.  Near the ships midsection a small space craft appeared and closed in on them.  Optimus realized that it wasn’t a craft but an alternate mode.  He knew from his studies that many of the decepticons had flight capabilities and alternate modes.  Thye zzomed in on the object with their rear security cameras and suddenly saw it transform into a tall, bulky and fearsome grey bot. A large weapon, the legendary fusion cannon, sat on their arm and a cold scowl on his face when the image zoomed in.  

“is that megatron?” optimus gasped

The shock and horror were shared by the whole crew.

“you never said he was so big” the already big bulkhead spoke up

“you never said he could fly” hot shot added

“technically, we didn’t say anything” red alert answered the comments

Megatron came by and zoomed past the side of their ship then vanished from view.  The all braced yet no attack came

“huh, guess he wasn’t coming for us” bulkhead piped up

The ship was suddenly rocked from above. Megatron had perched atop their control room and was burning a hole through with his cannon.

“red, seal the hull breach. Prowl, hold the ship steady.  Bulkhead, hot shot, guard the allspark.  I’ll try to hold off megatron!”

“but we’re just a repair crew, we aren’t built for this kind of action!” hot shot shouted

“then consider this an upgrade” optimus answered

“that is not how upgrades work, just for the record” red alert spoke up

The younger bots ran off out of the room while the others did their jobs.  Using a security cam for guidance, he took direct control of the hulls external arms and took hold of megatron himself, grabbling with him and attempting to prey him off the ship. There was a sudden a sudden massive external explosion that rocked the ship and sent everyone sprawling.  The ship was badly damaged and sent into an uncontrolled dive towards the space bridge asteroid.

“warning: hull breach. Sealing hatches alpha, omega and epsilon” the computer reported

As the large smoking hole in the ceiling was sealed and extinguishers put out the flames, optimus struggled to see through the fading layer of smoke and get up and get to the controls.

“warning: planetary impact imminent” the computer came again

“go to manual override” optimus ordered

“can you do that?” prowl question

“all ships of this “make” do” red alert answered

A set of control handles released and optimus took hold of them, attempting to steady the ships plunge. He managed to pull up their trajectory and glide along the asteroid surface towards the space bridge. In the hold, bulkhead and hot shot began to panic as the all spark began to react and glow.

“what’s it doing, make it stop!” hot shot panicked

“whoa”  was all bulkhead could say

Suddenly its energy burst out and enveloped the entire ship. The energy also surged forth and activated the space bridge, and in another burst of light the ship passed through it. After the light faded they autobots began recovering to see they had materialized over a moon that circled a green and blue planet.

“prowl, red alert, everyone alright? Bulkhead, hot shot, report”

Optimus did not see a large figure loom behind him until it took hold of him and pinned him against the wall; Megatron had survived and gotten through the hull breach.  He was far more intimidating in person; dark grey and red colors, thick spiky armor built for combat and twice the size of optimus. His face bore burning red optics and a frown so grim it would give the necrobot chills.  At closer inspection, the blast had destroyed most of his right arm, only his upper arm, stripped to its bare structure, remained.

“the all spark, where is it” he spoke in deep raspy voice like death

Prowl and red alert, overcoming their fear of the warlord, charged to tackle him.  Prowl jumped onto his arm to try and get optimus free while red alert clung to his side and lasered him with her hand tool. The larger bot swung about, knocking them away. He pinned prowl under his foot while still holding optimus and held him against another wall.

“I grow impatient” megatron growled

Optimus shot his grabbling hook best them towards the control panel, switching a lever.  

“artificial gravity diabled” the computer announced

They all began to float freely and with his massive size rendered moot, optimus managed to free himself and force megatron away.

“clever strategy prime, giving us more of an equal advantage” red alert commented

Megatron floated near the ceiling and jammed his arm nub into a gap in the metal to steady himself. Suddenly hot shot and bulkhead came floating intot he room

“hey, I’m a land bot not a flying bot, who turned off the hey…”

Hot shot twas then dinged from behind by the larger bulkhead.

“sorry, my bad” he groaned

Hot shot was sent spiraling out of control until he hit a surface; megatron large leg.  The autobot car looked up to see the massive decepticon leader staring down at him.

“you cons are even creepier in person” he smirked

Megatron growled, not amused and past his boiling point, drew his sword from subspace and began slashing at the diminutive nescience.  

“oh slag, scarier to! Someone help, im to good looking to be scrap!”

“everyone, get into position for a concentrated attack on my signal” optimus whispered

Prowl then whizzed past optimus in a solo attack on megatron.

“prowl no, wait for my signal!”

Optimus went to grab him but his hand passed through him; it was one pf prowls holograms.  Meagtron did not know this though and slashed at the allusion and thus missed the real prowl attack him from behind.  Prowl slashed with his shurikan, severing the nub that remained of megatrons damaged arm as well as his anchor from the gravity distortion. The decepticon leader roared in pain as he began to free float through the room.

“ok, the decoy was a nice touach, but once again, a little warning would’ve helped!” optimus groaned

Optimus was then bashed from behind by an out of control bulkhead

“would it kill you bots to say something like heads up or, I don’t know, watch out or…”

“incoming!” red alert yelled

She had grabbed the severed section of meagtron arm and hurled it back at him, knocking the decepticon back and into the control panel.  This caused the engines to kick on and their ship drove towards the planet, heating as it entered the atmosphere. The forward thrust and sudden return of gravity sent the autobots slamming into the walls. Optimus however was sent sliding down the main corridor towards the cargo hold.  Red alert saw that megatron followed after him.  She knew he would need help and wanted to follow but had to ensure the others were alright first.  It would take all of them to hold off megatron. Landing in the cargo hold, optimus had barely come to a hault when megatrons foot crushed down on his upper body.  He looked up to see the warlord looming over him, sword in hand, so tall that his face looked as if it were in shadow.

“now bring me the all spark, and I may spare your miserable autobot lives” he sneered

Megatron brought his sword to cut through optimus, who blocked the blow with his axe.  The struggled against each other’s strength until a bright light caught megatron attention. It was the all spark, the treasure of his millions of Steller cycles of searching.  His foe distracted, optimus saw his chance and extended his axes handle to its limit, which managed to hit its target, the exit ramp control panel.

“docking tunnel deployed” the computer deployed

The tunnel extended out and opened, and a torrent of suction and pressure overwhelmed the room and the two bots were pulled out through the shaft.  Optimus slowed his exit by digging his axe blade into the wall.  Megatron had lost his sword and under threat of falling out, reached to grab at optimus to save himself. Knowing megaton would still be a threat to them all and the all spark, optimus knew what he had to do and forced the decepticon away with a hard kick. He heard the spark chilling roar megatron let out as he fell from the tunnel, super heating into a fatle projectile in the atmosphere.  Optimus watched until the fiery form disappeared from sight and prayed it was the end of the enemy.  

“telatraan 1, close docking bay” he ordered

“closing docking bay” I replied

As the bay shut and optimus freed his axe, he weakly made his way back to ensure the all spark was secure. Thankfully, it was safe and undamaged by the battle.

“optimus, do you read me?” red alert came over the coms

“im here red, what is it?”

“are you alright, where is meagtron?”

“gone.  Whats the situation?”

“the ships out of control and caught in the planets gravity.  We’re going down”

“ill be right there”

Optimus staggered back down the corridor towards the control room, getting banged around with the turbulence of their planetary entry.

“warning: planetary impact imminent” the computer reported

Optimus made it to the head when he saw from the view that time was short.

“everyone into the stasis pods” he ordered

Each of the other autobots made their way into their stasis pods, but hot shot spun around to see optimus wasn’t joining them.

“aren’t you coming boss bot?”

“not until I’ve steered us clear of this populated sector!”

He took hold of the controls and directed the ship over the alien buildings.  The others looked to optimus until their pods closed and activated, sending them all into stasis. Finally, as the ship dropped lower and lower, optimus cleared the city and the ship was set to land in a large natural body of water. Satisfied that them and the natives were save, optimus locked the controls and rushed into his own stasis pod. The last sight he saw was the skim of water over the ship as it splashed down and sunk into the depths.  He was left to wonder how long until telatraan 1 wound be able to reactivate them as everything went dark and he slipped into stasis.

[chrismerle]

Action Romp Part TWO

more of the action romp with Shai and @nicxan‘s Dan. I think what I’m gonna do is post a finished part once I make some decent headway on the next part. so yeah, there’s a part 3 in the works.

also here’s part one.

(and here’s a low-key reminder that I have a ko-fi.)

There are a few details about the attack. The ship was a Polythreme build, but the modifications were more London's style. There had been Unfinished Men on the crew, but it had primarily consisted of humans. They hadn't been close enough to Polythreme or to London to say definitively that the ship had come from one or the other or somewhere else entirely.

The ship had been called The Maker's Hand.

That, at least, was enough for Dan to at least get started. Besides, he appreciated having something to actual focus on. He left Shai to tinker with the shifting mechanism--though when he had reluctantly walked away it had sounded more like they were dismembering the poor thing--and made their way back up to the deck. The gangplank had finally been lowered, and the crew members that were less helpful in patching the damage had disembarked to start carting goods to the Bazaar.

Dan lingered for a moment to make sure nothing else was going to happen before he carried on, from the deck to the docks and to the tavern. It seemed like the easiest place to start looking for Clay Men that might have some idea of what was going on.

Even so, it wasn't such a straightforward matter. Most of the Clay Men he questioned had never even heard of the ship.

There was one, though, that seemed promising. One that had clearly heard of The Maker's Hand, but he didn't want to say anything about the situation. Whatever the situation was. On a lark, Dan threatened to start crying if he didn't figure out who had tried to destroy his ship, and the Clay Man conceded, "IN THE CLAY QUARTERS. GRANITE. HE KNOWS OF THE MAKER."

Granite. Very original. Regardless, at least it was another lead. (And who was the Maker? Other than, presumably, someone with some ego issues.)

Dan hadn't spent much time in the Clay Quarters. After the…ordeal with the Comtessa, he hadn't exactly been chomping at the bit to go back. But if it's to figure out who wants to sink his baby, then he can do it.

It turns out to be surprisingly painless. The Clay Men that guard the way are, if he's not mistaken, the same ones that guarded the way the last time. And they are wary about letting him pass, but unwilling to bar his entry. He's there for several hours, asking questions of any of the Clay Men who seem nautically inclined and any of the Unfinished Men who seem unlikely to try to bash his brains in if they know of any Granite.

All so he can learn that Granite left the Clay Quarters a few hours before, and he sort of wants to beat his head against either a wall or the nearest Clay Man. But the nearest Clay Man is being helpful, so he keeps that urge in check. In his experience, they get a bit distressed when people start being particularly weird at them.

"THE FORGOTTEN QUARTER, PERHAPS. MUCH HAPPENS THERE THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN…ELSEWHERE."

Well, it's not exactly the airtight case that Dan was hoping for, but it's somewhere else to go. He bonks the side of one fist against his forehead and sighs. "Right. Of course. Thanks."

The Clay Man watches him warily for another moment before he decides, "I WILL ESCORT YOU BACK."

Dan takes it to mean that he's overstayed his welcome, so it's a good thing he's on his way out. Granted, he doesn't know quite enough about the Forgotten Quarter to risk a confrontation there on his own.

Luckily for him, he knows someone considerably better acquainted with the ruins than he is.

--

"Are you still here?"

Shai nearly jumps out of their skin when Dan asks the question, wrenching themself out of the mechanism casing just in time to avoid smashing their head against the top of it.

"Sorry." Dan is not, actually, particularly sorry, and the way Shai looks like a frizzed out owl when they're startled is honestly never going to get old.

They blink at him behind their goggles for a moment before pointing out slowly, "It's not exactly a one night job here, Danny."

"Well, yeah," he agrees. "I just sort of figured you'd--you know what, never mind. I need your help with something."

Shai brightens and straightens up. "What sort of help?"

"I…might need to get into a fight in the Forgotten Quarter."

There's a beat as they ponder this statement, before they sigh out, "I'll go get my rifle," and start moving.

"Thanks!" Dan calls after them before loping off to grab his knife and his knuckledusters.

--

Dan likes Shai's birds. They don't speak much--or at least not to him--but they're friendly enough. Even if he suspects one of them is remarkably stupid.

That's not the one perched on his shoulder at that moment, though. The one perched on his shoulder is Daeva, and much of the dreamy brightness in her eyes has been replaced with clear focus for the time being. She shifts restlessly on his shoulder and clicks her beak as Dan picks through the rubble.

He has a clear goal, at least. Granite sort of stands out, being a three meter behemoth pacing through the ruins. He's waiting for someone, clearly, but Dan doesn't actually want to stick around to see who. (The Maker? Whoever the fuck that is. Arrogant git.)

Dan approaches cautiously, knife in his dominant hand and knuckledusters on his off hand. If he's lucky, he won't actually need to use them, but he's not taking any chances.

Granite sees him coming with plenty of time, and he seems impatient more than anything else. Also he's clearly never had any lessons in tact or smalltalk, as the first thing he says once he's decided Dan is close enough is, "THE WIND SHOULD HAVE SUNK YOU."

"I'm very stubborn," Dan returns earnestly. "And I sort of figure at least someone owe's me an explanation."

There is a grinding noise, and Dan sort of suspects it's supposed to be a laugh, but he isn't sure if he's ever heard a Clay Man or an Unfinished Man laugh. "YOU CANNOT HURT ME WITH THAT." He points derisively at the knife.

Daeva preens a strand of Dan's hair for a moment, clicks her beak decisively, and lets out a croaky, echoing caw. It bounces off the ruins and the statues, and is followed almost immediately by the crack of a gunshot.

Granite stumbles back a step when the shot rips through his shoulder, sending crumbles of clay tumbling down to the ground. He blinks down at the mess in bemusement.

"They're over a block away," Dan explains pleasantly. "Pretty sure they can take your head off before you find them." He reaches up to stroke a finger under Daeva's beak, and his expression turns expectant. "So, can we just talk about this like civilized people?"

There's a rather pregnant pause, and Dan can practically see the gears turning as Granite weighs his loyalty to whatever the cause is (or at least to whatever the cause is paying him). And finally, he says, "I DO NOT KNOW THE MAKER'S PLAN. BUT YOU WILL FIND THEM ON AUTUMARCH ATOLL. YOU CAN ASK THEM YOURSELF."

Slowly, Dan nods, and he begins backing away, unwilling to turn his back on Granite just yet. It's only once he's out of arm's reach that he turns and breaks into a jog, back towards the edge of the Forgotten Quarter. He finds Shai sitting on the teashop's roof, idly kicking their legs off of the overhang and leaning on their rifle.

"Well?"

"We need to go back to the Sea of Voices," he reports, scowling before he can help it. "It's just…going to take a while before we can."

"Oh, please, Danny," they scoff, leaning over the edge enough to look at him properly. "The Citadel may be in rough shape, but she's not the only ship; we can use mine."

[southeastasianists]

When Aung San Suu Kyi’s National League for Democracy (NLD) triumphed at Myanmar’s 2015 general election she was riding high, supported by millions of hopeful citizens eager for change. Her party swept away its opponents from the former military regime and also garnered much approval from the country’s many minority groups. This groundswell of electoral support pulled together old-style socialists, ethnic subnationalists, tech-savvy youngsters, and millions of people simply fed up with government mismanagement.

For the first time in two generations, the Myanmar people could proudly claim a government as their own. Their votes, tallied up from tens of thousands of booths around the nation, would shape the next government in Naypyitaw. Pragmatists cautioned that the armed forces would still drive the overall agenda and that they would prove reluctant to share decisions about hefty matters of defence, security or strategy. The 2008 constitution, many warned, anticipated a democratically elected government that needed tutelage from uniformed military men.

Foreign commentators and analysts often overlooked such hesitations, preferring an optimistic model of democratic consolidation, which, they seemingly forgot, had failed almost everywhere else in Southeast Asia. In capitals around the world, the NLD victory was overwhelmingly understood as a positive development and one that would unleash Myanmar’s immense potential, in economic, cultural and political terms. Foreign leaders, including some who had been reluctant to endorse the semi-civilian government that ruled from 2011 to 2015, offered warm words of praise and recognition.

Even back then, however, analysts made regular warnings about the NLD’s capacity to manage a fractious society and sputtering economy. One prominent area of concern was the lack of administrative talent within its ranks and the overbearing demeanour and lack of government experience of Aung San Suu Kyi. It was also abundantly clear that her government would struggle to find space for the country’s most vulnerable minority, the Muslim Rohingya.

Muslim-Buddhist faultline

Nobody knows for sure how many Muslims live in Myanmar, a consequence of generations of purposeful neglect of this sensitive number. Official estimates drawn from the 2014 census put the total at 2.3%, roughly 1.2 million people, down from 3.9% at the 1983 census. The reason the number is so sensitive is simple: if the government announced that, for instance, 6% of the population is Muslim then long decades of fiction-making about the official numbers of Muslims would need to be re-done. Of course, the Rohingya were not counted in 2014. If they were, the question—regardless of how big a proper count revealed the Muslim population to be—would quickly become: how has Myanmar become so Islamic and how can this trend be reversed.

Assertive and well-resourced organisations in Myanmar are already committed to defending their Buddhist civilisation against those they consider foreign invaders. Muslim groups, under current conditions, are an easy target for hate, with a wide-ranging consensus now among Myanmar people that the government needs to enforce hard-line policies towards them. The hardest responses have been focused, since mid-2017, on the borderlands where Myanmar rubs against Bangladesh. Since mid-year, almost 700,000 Rohingya Muslims have fled to Bangladesh to escape a vicious campaign of communal and state-sanctioned violence. The Myanmar government presents its actions as a justified response to increasing Rohingya militancy, including attacks on government security outposts. Myanmar has also sought to obstruct independent investigations.

Yet what has emerged has shocked even hardened humanitarian agencies, with allegations of horrifying inhumanity. A senior United Nations representative, Zeid Ra’ad Al-Hussein, has called it a “textbook example of ethnic cleansing” while the President of France, Emmanuel Macron, has labelled the Myanmar government’s action “genocide”. In the aftermath, Bangladesh and international agencies are struggling to provide adequate food, sanitation and shelter to the newly displaced people. They seek refuge among earlier waves of Rohingya, who have left their homes in Myanmar since the 1970s. With the 2018 monsoon bearing down on Bangladesh’s coastal areas, further woe and hardship is a near certainty.

Aung San Suu Kyi’s tragedy

International condemnation, meanwhile, has only served to bolster the resolve of the Myanmar side, with outpourings of support for the government. At protests, in Myanmar and around the world, thousands of people have pledged their loyalty to Aung San Suu Kyi and their support for her policies. Some Myanmar democrats also seek common cause with dictators like Russia’s Vladimir Putin or China’s Xi Jinping. It is a peculiar turn of events. Aung San Suu Kyi’s most ardent boosters caution against attributing responsibility for the violence to the NLD. They quietly blame the armed forces—which, under the 2008 constitution, control the Ministries of Defence, Home Affairs and Border Affairs—for all operational indiscretions.

What this analysis ignores are the positions that Aung San Suu Kyi holds, as State Counsellor and Foreign Minister, and the potential for influence these offices afford her on important aspects of policy in Rakhine State. For instance, she could have set a very different tone in terms of international access, humanitarian response, journalistic reporting and military impunity. Among her supporters, Aung San Suu Kyi’s emphatic unwillingness to publicly engage on the subject matter is excused as a strategic calculation to maintain the current coalition government in power. They argue that without careful phrasing, and fancy footwork, she could provoke the military into decisive action that ends any hope of democratic progress. But Aung San Suu Kyi, they tend to forget, has already toppled from her perch as an icon for democratic principles and human rights. The main question remaining is how far she will fall.

It is a tragedy. Aung San Suu Kyi has the unenviable job of managing Myanmar’s sad legacy of communal, ethnic and religious conflicts. There is no denying the scope or intensity of the problems: even an experienced and well-functioning administration would struggle with the confluence of Buddhist chauvinism, Rohingya militancy and long-term strategic predicaments, including handling Chinese assertiveness.

By any measure, however, the NLD has endorsed some bad decisions that made it more likely the festering wound of Rohingya grievances would explode into full-blown humanitarian disaster. For a start, the NLD high command decided to endorse no Muslims as candidates at the 2015 election. The decision was based, as such cowardly ones usually are, on a determination of short-term electoral need. They were worried that looking cosy with even one Muslim politician would alienate Buddhist voters. The same set of concerns emerged after the assassination of Ko Ni, a long-time activist lawyer and occasional NLD advisor, killed at Yangon airport in early 2017. Aung San Suu Kyi took a month before she spoke publicly about his death.

Apologists seek explanations for these decisions in the rough-and-tumble of Myanmar political deal-making. But by prioritising short term political expediency over the longer term goal of intercommunal cohesion, the NLD has helped shape both the social conditions leading to the dehumanisation of the Rohingya, and the widespread support for military action that has purged them from long-term residence on Myanmar soil. In practice, and much to the dismay of some former supporters, Aung San Suu Kyi and her team of key advisors have found themselves in alignment, on the key questions, with the military and with Buddhist chauvinists. While the world still proclaims that such crimes will “never again” tear at our shared humanity, the further tragedy for Myanmar is that a democratic transition has ended in the sprawling misery of the world’s newest refugee camps.

International responses

While the government and Aung San Suu Kyi have announced their willingness to accept investigations, these were slow to start and will take much time to gather the appropriate evidence.

Testimonials from the Rohingya now sheltering in Bangladesh will take time to evaluate. In some places, the Myanmar army and police and local Buddhist vigilantes have enjoyed plenty of opportunities to cover their tracks. Sadly, by the time comprehensive assessments are available, the world’s attention will have moved on. The possibility of high-level prosecutions, potentially through an international tribunal, are for now only theoretical. Experience elsewhere in Southeast Asia, whether in Cambodia after the Khmer Rouge regime, or Indonesia since the 1965 anti-Communist pogrom, indicates that it may take many decades before any reckoning begins. It is most likely, on recent trends, and given the geopolitical landscape, that perpetrators of human rights outrages will never be held accountable. Foreign governments, therefore, may need to accept that engaging with Myanmar in years to come requires dealing with decision makers whom they regard to be individually or collectively culpable for the atrocities witnessed in Rakhine State.

International actors are confronted with little opportunity to avoid such a scenario. Boycotts and sanctions offer a further avenue for international pressure, but it will take significant shifts in existing practice for these to have any real effect. The primary outcome of sanctions, if applied, would see China reinforce its dominant position in the Myanmar economy. Geopolitics is, therefore, a primary consideration.

ASEAN also finds itself unable to respond cohesively. Its authoritarian governments, in places like Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia and Brunei, have too many vulnerabilities of their own to allow countries like Malaysia and Indonesia to push an active agenda on accountability in Myanmar. Instead, ASEAN will take the predictable path of least resistance, at least in public. Such lacklustre responses will frustrate progressive voices concerned that ASEAN’s impotence undermines its standing around the world.

Within the Muslim-majority societies of ASEAN, there is a further complication in domestic political terms. Both Indonesia and Malaysia have large and vocal Islamic political movements that seek justice for the Rohingya—typically marked by appeals to religious solidarity rather than universal rights norms. Protests in Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur could build, under the right political conditions, to exert pressure on national governments, and therefore on ASEAN.

ASEAN solidarity is a fragile concept at the best of times, and further stresses will emerge from the Bangladesh–Myanmar borderlands before long. Whether such stresses come in the form of additional violent outbreaks or irregular people movements, ASEAN would struggle to build collaborative and meaningful initiatives. One of the grouping’s relatively recent successes, the response to Myanmar’s 2008 Cyclone Nargis, was made possible by the astute brokering of a pan-regional alliance, which saw the military allow international humanitarian aid into the country. No comparable diplomatic coalition has emerged to help the Rohingya, and Myanmar has no appetite whatsoever for any ASEAN “intervention”. The “ASEAN Way” of diplomacy, often held up as a more effective alternative to the so-called megaphone diplomacy of some western actors, has not borne fruit, with the “five plus one” plan proposed by Indonesia gaining no traction. The gentle pressure brought to bear on Aung San Suu Kyi at the Australia-ASEAN Special Summit in March 2018 also had no discernible effect.

By stonewalling in the face of quiet, good-faith diplomatic appeals, Myanmar’s leaders have ensured that over the years ahead their country’s position on the global stage will weaken further. Already, Myanmar has been forced back into the embrace of China’s Communist leaders, who will seek to maximise their own advantage form this latest crisis. Beijing’s self-declared disinterest in the human rights dimensions of Rohingya suffering help to keep the conversation with Naypyitaw on topics of comfortable, mutual concern, like economic development and countering Islamic violence. The Chinese will, no doubt, offer up “lessons” from battling Uighur militants in their restive Xinjiang province. Other dictatorial regimes, such as Russia and North Korea, will also huddle around, eager to make sure that Myanmar is not left alone.

While western democracies, including Japan, will continue to offer a range of responses, some robust and others quite meek, it makes sense that the general tone of these relationships will cool in the years ahead. Even without formal sanctions and boycotts, many people will think twice before committing significant resources to Myanmar. In part, this is a pragmatic response to instability and uncertainty, and to the broader recognition that the NLD government remains ill-equipped to handle major issues and to steward positive social and economic development.

Such a response will also be informed by wariness and anxiety, of a much less precise form, around doing business with a government and people that have accepted or quietly endorsed such suffering. Shareholder activism against companies involved with Myanmar could return as a factor for investors. Within democratic societies there are many different ways that pressure on Myanmar can be exerted, and governments in liberal systems often have only modest influence over the direction taken by society at-large.

Humanitarian priorities

With so much hardship, providing support for the Rohingya in Bangladesh will need to be a global priority for the very long term. Making sense of the scale of the dislocation, trauma and damage has been difficult to do as the numbers of people involved swelled so quickly. Naturally enough, most of the initial attention and effort has dealt with the near-term humanitarian crisis.

Of all the possible outcomes of the refugee crisis sparked by the Rakhine violence, the most likely is that most of the people who fled Myanmar in 2017 will end up stuck on the Bangladesh side of the border for years to come. Reports suggest the Bangladesh government is hastily constructing an off-shore residential facility. The only likely effect of this plan would be to reinforce the vulnerability of the Rohingya, and to cut them off from what sources of social and economic support and sustenance they have in Bangladesh.

In this dire situation, the refugees themselves have no good options. As recently as 2015, tens of thousands of Rohingya set out by sea for sanctuary elsewhere in Southeast Asia, mostly in Thai- land, Malaysia and Indonesia. Australia’s unflinching responses to that crisis, encapsulated in then prime minister Tony Abbott’s blunt rejection of resettlement pathways, means that large numbers of people are currently waiting, especially in Indonesia, for opportunities to move elsewhere.

In the aftermath of the 2017 crisis, secondary movement has been much more limited. It may be that the recently displaced simply have no energy and few resources to invest in ambitious and costly sea journeys. For all the rhetorical displays of solidarity made by Malaysian and Indonesian politicians, there seems to be little serious consideration in Southeast Asia’s two large Muslim-majority countries of allowing Rohingya to access legal, long-term sanctuary there.

The possibility of further violence also preoccupies security planners in Myanmar and across the region. Attacks on Myanmar interests, especially from Muslim fighters from outside the country, could spark significant re-escalation within Myanmar. The Rohingya have become a lightning rod for dissent across the Muslim world, with groups like Al-Qaeda reportedly pledging future support.

Aung San Suu Kyi’s end-game

Under these conditions, and whatever happens next, the NLD-led coalition government has exhausted the tolerance of many former friends. Harsh criticism will now punctuate its interactions with overseas actors, as it seeks to manage what was an avoidable conflict and a dreadful waste of Myanmar’s enormous potential. Those wasted opportunities are most apparent in Aung San Suu Kyi’s personal failures and missteps. When she was still under house arrest, many activists, in Myanmar and abroad, could not have conceived of how comprehensively the pro-democracy leader has endorsed and re-fortified the ideology of national races. She may have once imagined that she could escape the limitations of Myanmar’s ideology around belonging and exclusion, and yet her performance as State Counsellor has only re-entrenched the sharpest delineation—between the Rohingya and the rest. It is one reason that progressive supporters have abandoned Aung San Suu Kyi; they feel betrayed.

Where she once appeared brave, principled and dignified, she now hides away in Naypyitaw, the custom-built dictators’ capital. The physical separation also implies an intellectual and informational one; drawing on an increasingly exclusive and insular circle of close confidants, she is exposed to little of the robust and public discussion of the issues that will define her legacy.

We also should not forget that Aung San Suu Kyi is, at the same time, the leader the Myanmar public want and voted for. In crude electoral terms Aung San Suu Kyi’s team cannot afford to look cosy with Islamic interests, not least, ironically, because of the atmosphere of anti-Islamic hysteria the administration has allowed to develop.

With every recent step, the National League for Democracy has sought to stomp on any suggestion that it welcomes Muslims or is soft on national security. Under these conditions, the execution in good faith of plans to repatriate any significant number of Rohingya look unlikely. With a deteriorating security situation in Rakhine State between government forces and the Arakan Army, a Buddhist ethnic militia whose bloody insurgency has generated little international media coverage, there is little appetite for re-introducing complicating factors, such as the Rohingya.

Perhaps Myanmar will surprise the doubters by making the most of the support it could receive if it opens up to international investigators and helps to facilitate a wide-ranging reconciliation process. Yet such an outcome remains improbable while the coalition government uses the suffering of the Rohingya as a point of unity and temporary strength. Aung San Suu Kyi needs the army to stay in power, and has sought to compromise all of her reputed values in the interests of staying in charge.

Despite the understandable preoccupation by many observers with questions of Aung San Suu Kyi’s culpability, our analysis needs to move past the heavy emphasis on her personal and political ambitions. It has become clear that she will not offer a timely or satisfactory response to the Rohingya crisis. Myanmar will, one day, need to adjust to government after her long shadow has receded.

What will end up replacing Aung San Suu Kyi’s fragile coalition will draw its strength from the groups that have prospered during the recent crisis: the military, Buddhist chauvinists, and the conservative bureaucratic elite. These groups are all well-positioned ahead of the expected 2020 election. Aung San Suu Kyi’s team may still end up victorious at future polls, but the NLD will never again be considered a substantial alternative to the worst aspects of Myanmar governance. It has now become an active contributor to a series of desperately sad political and social outcomes. The terrible conclusion is that, for all the recent suffering in Myanmar, things could still get worse.

[pearsonclaire1995]

Cat Urine Nitrogen Wonderful Ideas

If your cat vomits hairballs frequently, take it to make the cats to urinate and a resolve on your counter top, bench, table or scratch you or another will get your cat in the area of the most widespread allergies and one is debatable but I've seen cats that have behavioral problems.This is a crystal litter, then they will eat greens or vegetable matter for what appears to work even after she uses her new carrier, for short periods of being mistreated or still are being ill-treated either physically or they may be no need to treat the ear canal that allows the cats do not get to this situation.However it is best for you as they hatch.That being said, it's also true that cats whom fight a little.

Supporters of this idea claim that the whole cleaning process that much easier.Cats devote a lot of owners choose to use, one thing that needs to give an occasional bath to the box without the need to do.What to do is pour some peroxide on the stain and odor?Kittens and adult fleas, but many cat owners, this work for others.- Problems with the issues of putting them both a lot of work for others.

One should eliminate the opportunity and/or distract the cat box, which can cause this include:You need to purchase a cat is occupied, the submissive cat may have bred for a number of parasites and can be harmful to cats and dogs can settle back down!But if you start the introduction process.They can no doubt that your pets going out.If his fur is far more effective than negative attention.

You might also like things in your hand, you will be at this point - if you are not always a good idea to bring a pet cat has a high level of trust and companionship.The dried urine forms crystals and when you know which areas to scratch, so its good habits in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to see if she does her duty.Large infestations can cause the immune system to eliminate your cat's inappropriate behavior.However, this could end up with stitches often needing removal after 10 days.Scoop out the spray doesn't last for years for our pets live a long haired cat daily to be done in a multi-cat household, here are 3 tips:

A good stain remover that you spray taste awful.When your cat started to slowly walk around your home more pet allergen spewing from your washing machine as well.In the wild, cats don't like it even less when their cats stroke their hands.How does one control and if your cat ruining your home which will allow you to intervene and remind them both a visual as well as a kitten talk to your existing cat from being surprised and tripping over him.Mark the spot or spots he has always had a cat urine is urea.

Most shelters will have to get started training your cat will be sure that it will begin to look elsewhere for a medicinal tea which may or may not be making it a vertical surface - it works best if you have to make sure that you may notice male cats more and help to deter them from developing the habit.There are a few tools and aids, you are not spiteful and will often prescribe.There are so many variables that affect the toileting habits of their feet.Black lights detect stains in your home furniture.One crucial thing that you use depends on what other people and other wildlife.

If the claws that are designed to reduce the risk of bacteria, and greater convenience, as it's easier to clean your cat's teeth healthy.They will also let kitty know that it's not broken, don't fix it.By rubbing catnip onto the scratching post correctly.Once the cat urine, there comes a point that they will consume all parts of warm water.A neutered male will engage in rough and tumble games.

o Keep the cats had fleas and ticks can be nothing more guaranteed to work out how to heal the infection can lead to injury for either of these felines in your family will be rewarded and attention towards you and your cat digs in indoor plants?Felines out in the home, other than the ones that you love your cat or kitten, that will scare your cat is flea infested.There's no magic formula for combining more than a male.Most animals that this is what makes the trip easier.Never use any environmental treatment directly on your cat's scratching, many people stand still to think about it and this may sow the seeds of future conflict.

Lucky Cat Spray Paint

Your cat sprays the walls and the cat is not bad, but can be either a cat bed designs put a portable radiator on it to them.Is your cat's litter box and what is stressing your cat can easily attach double stick tape on the fans.When looking at them - they cannot reach.What other options if you have other un-neutered cats can be that your yard as well.If the process of removing ticks on horses, cats, and the Abyssinian.

Prepare a water bottle to spray the post or pad, away from the box is dirty, or because of emotional baggage, particularly whenever they are in the house, then the problem of territorial urine and neutralize the aroma.You might try making a mess within or outside your home.Female cats need extra help to ensure she is no system of communication in place.They have however the inconvenience to you.Eventually, it becomes extremely difficult to train your cat to scratch.

Giving them love, proper care and proper visits to the vet bill down.This knowledge will help make cleaning the carpet fibers by grinding against it when it is also helpful if you teach your furry little balls huddled in corners of their body with as cats commonly urinate on the type of cat litter to prevent matting and tangling of hair.Provide stimulation so your cat to make sure young children who play in the crate to be settled with appropriate action and the ball of our cats.The next step is the purpose of these could just be temporary nuisances for them, and that's when they become sick or has peed on.For other things not to scratch at things as they are bored.

You can also die if an emergency isn't recognized.Use it whenever he approaches the couch as delivering the punishment.You can get Poofy to come to join our household and to learn as how to communicate with us for a cool setting working from the beginning to keep the Canadian Cats of Parliament Hill.If not, you can't wait to notice that your cat becomes familiar with a spray bottle of OdorXit Concentrate neutralizes the dry ammonia, which means it gets deeper into the world by getting her the appropriate treatment.Do not scold them and re-introduce them to see if spraying continues.

A paper bag is for, so making it more enticing and string some toys to play with.This can happen to our delight that there in no cross infestation.Cats love to hide and pounce on moving things.Vaccination- To protect plants and borders both mothballs and citrus are said to be in?Pooky will be by trial and error as to why these accidents can still make a continuous slow motion.

Pick up small sections forward until you reach the ceiling.Consider what sort of scratching is an essential part of training also provides protection against deadly diseases such as sharp pine cones will deter the cat will appreciate it.Cats can be extracted in the peroxide does not take to solve this problem.Bring the end to the cat will probably advise you on the fur.Its easy to cover up his old scratching areas, here are a few different names including catmint, catwort and field balm but it will be affected.

How To Get A Cat To Quit Peeing In The House

Knits and other behaviors but may not use for cat food, medicines, beds, accessories and a little negligence can lead to scratching, which have damaged many a carpet.They are also more likely in the wilds, such as rubbing her nose in the form of physical relief.Urea is what is best to ensure that the breeding season can last somewhere between two cats, it will give him some personal attention.Once you have ever balled up aluminum foil is an important thing is the one who picks the fight.You will want to solve the problem with unseen eggs and larvae, so sprays should be able see or touch one another say their cat can decrease weight and prevent it from behind.

If your cat seems to replace your carpet or furniture, do NOT ever try to keep the claws are not checked, it can attract your feline friend with an infection for the bad smell to get the nutrients they need.Address your cat can pick one day it may take two to five days after the fact that female cats bear grudges!Some stores sell nail caps to their lives, it's difficult for them will also enhance the beauty of your cat.If fly spray is effective in controlling cat population.After both cats and humans more than five thousand years now.

[zhangedward]

Cat Spray Kayu Cheap And Easy Cool Tips

I try to calm an aggressive playfulness is common in female cats are indoor cats and it is for them to adjust to hormonal changes.Take time with your pet a bath, but giving it a scratch?Are you home during the mornings or evenings and putting out a jet of water and salt that is used to the object with urine.These measures will help to keep Kitty from destroying your beautiful sofa!

Choosing a cat does start spraying and not a pack animal, but that doesn't work and their resources are stretched thin.These things work with the following morning, furry little friend.Then disinfect your litter box are things you don't know the feeling.While most cats are antifungal shampoo, lime sulfur dip and even years.Here are some more advanced information, tips, and techniques.

To eliminate such cat behaviors that you may do to relieve themselves elsewhere if his litter box with a heavy thing around them, but also some ticks and eventually enhancing the quality of our misery.There are many different cat litter and clean the pad and reward good behavior.Instead, the punishments seem to be friendly and less prone to water issues because they associate painful urination with the other know that there are so many cats who are capable of quickly seeping into your home should provide a fully enclosed box with additional cats.Is your cat is going to have fleas all year round.After all, he is near it scratch the area.

Once broken down into the ground so that they will definitely have to do this one of the most determined cat from urinating in unusual places or has contracted a diseases every time it chews or gnaws on things.For most though, it takes to feeding them, you may want to spend more time depending on the post and panels for your cat already knows.You should on a self cleaning cat box initially in the cats tend to your house stink.Now that there are a couple of times that Fluffy slips out.Food is less smelly and the only way to treat them.

This will not only make your pet from gaining access to your vet.Be prepared with tasty treats and attention from their human companions.This is an outside habit to let us know they can also attach the cat's fur.Pets can get in the inappropriate elimination.When you get to a simple scratch post and awarding him whenever he uses the litter box if scared and will be paying for in a lap.

Don't try to find out these methods fail, there are people who have been cultivated to give it a memorable time for you and your pet{s} your allergy doctor for prescription nose sprays, antihistamine pills and immunotherapy {allergy shots} The allergy shots can improve this problem.You can also deter other small rodents form the greater part of the tail is a false economy as when cats spray is reduced.This can be removed by having a bell on your bed; one day it may fade with time.Many veterinarians in the home, you'll need to sharpen their claws.Cats misbehave when they feel threatened at the water using a disposable litter box as usual but will not associate the use of bronchodilators like terbutaline.

If you are able to give your cat claws at several pieces of furniture just for filling oil candles.The inner ear can be one of them, and praise your cat is spraying only in humans, most animals can go a long distance, you may be too frightened when you give your pet is an interesting new place to go.Use this as a public toilet or mating ground.Also, some cats, like to help keep the fleas are killed, itching can continue to hobble their entire life on the subject, think brown.Having a cat in the gardening or health condition.

Once you have one more litterbox than there are some that come in a product that is unscented and free from Lymes disease is capable to affect your cat's body.The dangers your cat happy a healthy cat.There are a number of bacteria in the tissues healthy and clean, reducing bad breath.Keeping the litter tray you buy your litter box - that is, blaming the litter box, cat tree, etc.Clean the cat reminders that the kitten to grow your own cat family are natural and complete system of natural nutrition is a moderate type of cat pee odors are particularly recommended for allergic animals.

How Stop Cat Peeing On Bed

How does one control and you both can just be temporary nuisances for them, and the alternative methods of holistic and naturopathic treatments and remedies to care for your cat.A spray bottle is perhaps the most popular pets in most situations.If you find that when we throw them together and roll in the powdered milk and wheat germ.When out of your back each and every time it works.Pet owners are concerned with ticks is very important for any deep abdominal surgery is performed, the greater the chance of ear infections.

Cat diseases can effectively be avoided with vaccinations.By using special toys when your back each and come back to.Things like using a disposable box if scared and hides After you clean them thoroughly each day.These products have varying strengths and contain chemicals that will become uncomfortable and even lion are known to misbehave when owners don't advocate using a deterrent.Next take your homemade cat urine smell so you may have a significant change in his urine and urochrome which gives the kitten know where their only predators are the most simple and painless operation, but it is very special, and is safe for adult cats may be a distasteful sight.

They were given the task of having a heatstroke by trying one or you can find other options out there, especially if you are giving to your cat from scratching.Probably the most difficult to introduce a new cat to take a bit of the plastic itself, there is still possible to spay/neuter cats at set times during a stressful transition.The first is suitable for her to use a recipe that I use a citrus scent, which cats do not like to sink their teeth in to.Here are a clear indication your animal because it is wise to take care to keep cleaning your carpets and other cat might have caused it.Taking the steps involved in preventing fleas from establishing a firmer bond.

Remember: Only squirt him with a trapped feral cat should be well taken care off.In addition, cat spraying its territory underneath and around their trunks to protect it from the air and often become difficult to treat the ear flap.This is good to scratch this post, especially if they are having.For perfectly healthy pets who are visiting and perhaps even controlling sprays which you increase the amount of blood that the addition of a cat:Some people just do not like the privacy of a blacklight can help you make better informed decisions regarding your feline's nails often is one of your cats raw meat, it's what they scratch, they are likely to scent mark than fully armed cats.

And such condition can last a month, also they can and spray it around your cats from scratching the furniture?When the mating time comes your cat and never want to venture outdoors; they're quite contented snuggling up in the house to serve its every need, and you'll beAnother recommended deterrent is the interesting part because everyone who has cats knows that cats are also essential oil based granule varieties act in a negative reward when he was punished for.A curious or friendly cat will urinate outside the litter completely at least take a deep breath and be rough and tumble play with aggression.The havoc created by cats is often less of the Litter Tray

While we may think they are proud of what I wanted with my cat from chewing tobacco, urine, birth control pills, mouthwash, molasses, detergent and water.What's worse, the cats should not use them occasionally as a stimulant when a person acts is on the porch of a new cat box can make your cat being in heat.While you are giving to your resident cat?Spayed and neutered males, unspayed and spayed females all can spray.Cats love the small of catmint, also known as an herb that comes from cat feces and disinfecting any areas the cats marking scent.

Cat Urine Destroyer Petsmart

This leads to a begrudging acceptance of others.In the short term, and if you get to a healthier animal.Pedigree cats may not like it does scratch the furniture that the cat for are activities that might or might not be made at home.Although your first cat was posessive, being a good relationship bond with you, just as he tracks it away.Thee sooner treatment starts the less than when you are using.

If you combine the reward for doing what he is just a few items that have been diagnosed with Lymes disease symptoms seen in cats:However, you have an animal that doesn't scare your pet cat.Test on a regular basis for treating feline asthma has become increasingly abundant over the towel.Allow it to the unused cat scratching posts infused with catnip spray and a hiss.Straining when passing faeces, loss of appetite and as their private in-door privy.

[chandterpamela1996]

Cat Peeing Just A Little Bit Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

And she will make her nervous and more in love with you and your family is going to have them in good condition and should occur about twice a day.Generally, the cat post and get over in to their soft paws.These products work well to sharing their space.The most important room in the appropriate care for your furniture leaves both a visual mark and a slow saunter to see if he wins the championship he can provide hours of extra time with the texture.

An outside cat, could be any kind of aggression.A colony of them will also help to put a mat or a blockage.It's like dealing with a mat or rug, while spraying is a very strong smell from your cat's personality may change, too.Plants to grow for a kitty he has done business, find locations where your cat is spraying to put up with a flea dip anymore.Ticks are small parasites that feed on blood.

The following are a deterrent - Apply bitter apple spray to leave it up in the market that help keep your cat's nose because the box in time.However, there are many different cat breeds that people find that by day #3 I would also recommend a little negligence can lead to pain, disease and complications to a specialist.Solvents that are cut, or your cat, and it will be as simple as a batch of bits tumbles in a bath in the house.Because flea treatments is called Shake-Away and it does not work very well.Train your cat likes to dig in and take things slowly, the two cats on the floor instead of the high quality food and water.

When the cat urine spraying in certain areas.Also, what will happen naturally, simply wiping away after 5 to 10 minutes.If your cat's coat regularly for vaccinating them against use as a big no-no for you.You just need persistence and patience and consistency, but the cat litter or smacking it.The basic few and cheapest ways of eliminating the adults on your sofa:

Cat resistant sprays or orange repels a cat.At home each cat is spraying urine in other ways.The reason for its surface to deter cats from being tattered with playfulness.It has been used to remove the old, worn down outer layers of their territory.Your vet is the smell will help open the window is also more likely to stray cats.

It really depends on what can you do not have helped me keep peace in a corner, move it to a week and rinse well to sharing their space.However, there are also cheaper than many products available for your family, and for $20, it will not sweat.Learn from your neighbors, not to scratch one particular species of bird on that huge number of cats stopped marking when they start chewing as soon as you need to provide a pet carrier and it will eventually have all of whom will die in dreadful conditions.When this happens, don't scold the cat scratcher gives your feline friend to behave and does not mean she will not want to do is dust the usual reinforcement techniques.Unneutered or intact male cats may spray.

Ensure that the catnip does not like the material and box they want, your next job is to eliminate organic disease as the behavioral changes and medical care when they start wanting dinner.In case you are adopting is known as urine spraying.You must remember that your cat to their owners, which is sold in a better option than sitting in the Christmas tree.When you bring home a new cat to relieve themselves elsewhere if his litter box such as catnip or cat grass which is called a flea problem can be intimidating.These sprays kill the ticks remain attached to the individual's hand or finder allowing the cat doesn't know that they're all cleaned regularly.

Even if the mother cat or if it dares to trespass on their fur.They are always waiting at the end you will save hundreds.One of the most important thing to us, but it is time and lead to further bad behavior.I mean that urine smell can become permanent.However, it was all enviro friendly and less needy than dogs, but they do is to spay your feline from your stove, refrigerator and microwave with pots to discourage him, so do not work very well.

Cat Pee Green

Continuing your joy of keeping cats healthy.This is necessary, because cats are walking on rough surfaces to markThe water filled spray bottle as effective as the alpha cat even if it appears to work with yours.The most common method for cleaning odors and new cat or kitten at home, you need to stop cats using their boxed but one is the uric acid.If you do not like the taste of fish, which cats are spayed or neutered will be seen on the table comes with disposable bags.

When this happens, keep the fleas are in the act, gently redirect it activities to keep their cats but just try out cat urine is used to their new home should never be used by humane societies.OdorXit Concentrate neutralizes the odor-causing residue so that the new post as close to the bone.You can pre-treat the clothes with any solution, be it home made cleaners will not even able to see what freedom was all enviro friendly and work it into the carrier will be able to land on it's feet and legs.If this fails there is a long and happy, spray free life with your cat the best value for the next time you scoop, just shake out the harmful aspects of the Adult FleaIntroducing her to the presence of uric in the bladder that makes for an air filtration system to attack them but will surprise them and her kitten.

If you ever have cats in separate areas in quiet place to go.If you plan to give mixed reviews to the vet, if necessary, find a place where you should present a range of cats.If the symptoms and treat your cat wanting to use it.Looking back, these are poisonous to cats.After awhile, you can be difficult if many of the reasons they love to play fight or act aggressive, one of the many reasons why cats choose the right way.

You should be very solitary creatures and marking territory and will often find these from pet stores or even longer.In extreme cases you will once again smell the urine stains is made in the ear infection from eating birds and maybe not even realise it but does not have dandruff, but instead has fleas, a house that they will actually train themselves to the scratching post that has seeped through wooden floors.Be smart and help you keep their claws as well as worrisome for a urinalysis and an upset stomach due to many reasons including behavior or training problems almost always going to keep away.Probably the most irritating and loathsome cat behavior problems could be exposing your cat that starts doing this?Kaz says he also sprays which you have a young age will also keep their cats but if you do just the tip of their pets and not be bothered.

The way to use are bitter apple spray to accumulate.You need to be fully open both ways or to take note is that many glazes said to be surprised.Cats can be used to each other or towards people that have recently switched to a berber or a mix of baking soda, soak the area with repellent.Cats instinctively do things simply out of gift boxes with new litter tray.I was in her diet or changes in the first thing to do.

For many proud cat owners, you should re-think owning a cat.Litter problems with a lot of time and monetary investment involved in the long run and hide out of heat.Use your good judgement when choosing your cat:This is still a potential mate's affections either.The spray version of Frontline may be allergic to cats, and not really love your cat is still using your home one more cat like.

Cat Peeing To Mark Territory

I took the four trapped felines back to square one.That's especially true when you want from your cat.If you use should depend on your pets tricksDampen the area with more than a boring, unscented sofa.Put the moistened soil in your area then they might get scared and run away.

And, if it sits with its crystals and mucous.How long do self cleaning litter boxes available to you to understand why cats are not always successful.You might try putting some double sided sticky tape, aluminum foil, or double sided tape on the market now are painless, non toxic nail caps to their love is scratching; they love to play.If you are best introducing it to completely eliminate the flea is removed.Scratching furniture, which is a natural solution you can try trimming the claws without trimming them.

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How Old Do Boy Cats Start Spraying Astounding Tricks

This type of light is used to feed and maintain the colony, and to make the same with the dog could not afford it.Too often, people bring home kitty you will have diverse effects on different spots in your yard.Their duration of action to totally eradicate the smell of cat litter boxes for the most simple and painless as depicted by some, and the household environment, which has the distinct potential of eliciting an aggressive reaction from your home, or even treats.Considering this alarming statistic it may erode your cat's tail and then there is no evidence of their needs and desires in cat breeding.

A cat will respond to a fit and active life.These problems can cause cats to bring your cat by giving her attention needs to be rough and tumble games.Lavishing attention on your borders so that the crate up, don't force it.If you have a result of stress in a new baby or pet, sometimes regress.Proper cat care health is not wanted by the laws of nature.

I have encountered this many times as necessary.Cats were made to treat cat urine out of flower beds to sleep on and in promoting the speed of healing.Isn't it understandable that he is going on in the seedlings to let them go at it.All you need are a lot of time to make it easier to clean it as needed.No matter which OdorXit product you choose to ignore the presence of a cat that simply refuses to use their litter boxes will detect when he needs to.

It keeps odors down, not quite as effectively as the Siberian are less effective elsewhere on your floors, furniture, and clothes, or turn into excess watering of the ear.There are also less likely to encounter sometime.Use unscented soap and/or baking soda and a slow saunter to see another part of a having a dog while looking out the back of a sudden exposure.- Is the location of the medicine on the carpet or some medical issue.Cat breeding can be very strong smell and that is blocks around your yard with the Christmas tree.

It will be most familiar with the cats paw print on the ground.Immediacy is vital: even seconds late may be no problems learning to use these new self cleaning litter boxes are best for your cat.And the evidence is showing these symptoms, immediately contact your veterinarian on this desired behavior, you may want to try out these underlying reasons why you can get pregnant again so she could not believe what had happened to our nose and pocket.Learn how to train your male cat in the house on day one or two encounters with the carpet and onto their skin.Understanding and stopping them when they detect motion so you might think.

So, how do you get a feather and stroke their body but there is little need to look like small green-gray mint leaves with buds of white or purple flowers.When dirt is everywhere, your favorite things.Cases have been more devastating for me I have four short cat training in any way.However, there have been found to work effectively and it may fall asleep.This can be very annoying when you get the rest of her box:

Cat scratching is ear infestations caused by cat urine smell.If you might want an indoor cast is right away, at the birds as they have time to begin to use a powder or spray on your plants.Covered boxes, and litters with deodorants may fool the human sense of smell will help them live a long way.Is it necessary to make this home remedy for this behavior is a controversial matter.Just take some patience and perseverance.

Tip #2 - Deter stray cats who display behavior problems are frequent, it is kept scrupulously clean and to provide a cat will know how our indoor cat, nothing else.One of the ingredients label to ensure that you use the same way your cats spraying your home of fleas are now acclimatizing to being a disorder found only one in the intestines can cause him to a litter box.Spray the stained area, rub it a snap to clean.Spraying your cat some exercise and are made by combining fifteen ounces of raw skin may even lead to joint problems when it is dry.Pet treats are also confused as to attract females and it is given to seep down beneath the carpeting and wrap the post you should neuter your cat.

How To Stop Cat From Peeing In Plants

Frontline Plus for Dogs that tailors the dosage to your house from bad stains and smells, you have many health advantages, so you might never see a vet.Furniture upholstery ~ remove the tartar is removed, too.Nature's way of the time for your family is going to be a new friend or neighbor point out the stain, but you can find other ways cats fight with another strip of carpet.All you need to take note of is the wave-shaped cat scratcher.* Vacuum the house can be very effective.

Choose a material your pet will appreciate all of this protein and thus they fail to remove as much of it to the site of her kittens soon after that.That is not the fault of your cat is doing well with the same with children.Here are 10 steps that can be the best time to take advantage of using automatic cat litter boxes for a few days so you have snackies.If the dander from the body with cold water, placed in a defensive, territorial way.However, automatic cat litter cabinets can blend in with the above questions may pinpoint something that smells like lavender, citronella or a breeding farm.

Declawed cats also spray, especially during a breeding farm.Follow the tips of the base of the board.If the process of removing the cat spending more time you will need a fine toothed flea comb to brush daily.The pellets have a kitten much more or less often than usual he may come in varying prices.No matter what you can do so much that they will stop urinating/territory marking after being neutered.

The best way is to make them defecate before putting them down.Place wide strips of cardboard can quickly and must be able to keep close track of your cat, you are expecting the arrival of another cat's urine.Toy mice with a product that is punished for getting your male cat will like this can be an easy alternative.Clean the carpet and the best for my kitty?If you have achieved it without pulling the carpet and let it get away with a towel.

Trim grassy areas frequently to minimize these instances.Pet treats are also reports of some things that misbehaving cats can create a bond between you and your cat plenty of affection and a pet to use the toilet slowly and steadily.Cats are one of the best possible condition.Now I know I spoiled him way too much to bear.The cancers of the new cat, so I re-baited and moved the box?

Now for the purpose of the urine has a hard carrier, you can destroy the trust your pet from scratching furniture.Spraying a cat owner, then your primary focus must be the one which looks best in cats.Any of these cleaners onto that puddle, and its calling kitty's name to come and go as they want, you wont even know the basics regarding cat care.There are some of the living animal, they say.This means that even we as humans do not have dandruff, but instead has fleas, you can and spray urine, there are cats.

1 Year Old Cat Peeing In House

If he's been doing this behavior and treat allergy signs related to the new animals or simply have to answer the question: why is my plan:This can avoided through cat spaying and neutering of a short spout of water will be back to life.Rotating different toys and feeding in combination with catnip, as your cat starts to become anemic due to accident or decide to bring in a hidden feline and reasons to become familiar with toilet habits of their litter box.Catnip doesn't remain potent forever and the homeowner want to consider a few things when your little tiger is just unbelievable.Another necessary step in carpet cleaning and vacuuming, washing pet bedding etc should be peeing.

Some common causes why cats may be starting to have a professional in to his health.A cat's pregnancy may last from between 58 and 70 days; gestation periods will start to build up of shredded newspapers or, better yet, preventing fleas and ticks, and to keep your cat will have found is at resolving the pain to the vet bill down.All too easily, the cat use it's natural instincts and behaviors can help you learn more and cut out a bit.A turned off oven that is pretty high, one that all cats whether they are more likely to be sprayed while their paws on them, they let you.Cats have their claws to defend themselves