#RM has done it again

[ggukkieisintominnie]

You are my pain, divine... divine

Beautiful music to ears, RM the writer and creator you are. Truly amazing 👌

RM ‘Come Back to Me’ Official MV

[front-facing-pokemon]

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by my beloved no.1 chappell roan stan @cordiallyfuturedwight thanks my darling <33 i can only apologise for the lack of ms roan here... i swear good luck babe has been on repeat i don't know what happened

tagging the usual suspects, apologies if i've already missed yours: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @thvinyl @cosmicdreamgrl @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi <333 and you dear reader

oh and see here for more of my self-proclaimed songs of the summer if you're interested in that kind of thing

[dumpywrites]

So What if We - Kim Namjoon / RM

Prompt: “This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”

Prompt request: HERE

Genre/tags: Slight angst, friends to lovers, minor mentions of smut

Pairing: Namjoon x she/her reader

a/n: I've been into friends to lovers trope lately and keep prioritizing the stories w/ this theme. I'm not neglecting the other requests I swear! haha this also turns out more sweet rather than angsty, it seems like I'm quite a bad angst writer T_T

“This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”

That was what the guy said to you, the morning after waking up next to you in your very own bed. His eyes were a bit droopy but he had a smile smeared on his lips. His two layers of top were tossed somewhere on the bedroom floor, messily, and his jeans were hanging loosely on the edge of the bed. You thanked the heavens that he somehow had his boxers on with him.

Both of you were drunk the night before. You knew it was a bad idea to bring alcohol to the mix when you vent to your best friend. Nevertheless, you did it anyway and the damage had been done.

Being friends with Namjoon came because of the convenient at first. While it was true that both of you came from the same circle of friends, you were never that close at the beginning. After switching job and finding out his apartment was actually near your new workplace, he would often ask you to eat dinner together after work, knowing your tendencies to forget and skip meals after work.

And that was how you grew closer. Noticing how cute his dimples were and how caring he was towards you came naturally after that. He was a gentleman. The small things he did when you were with your friends suddenly felt a little more special. Before, you would never bat an eye when he helped you on the most basic things, like pulling Taehyung’s dinner chair, just because of how heavy they were. He would always do that before, but lately, your heart did a little flip when he did the gesture. 

It started to worry you as day by day you began to see him romantically rather than how you’d view the rest of your friends. Safe to say getting pissed drunk with just the two of you comprehensibly was a bad idea. 

It started when both of you were on your fifth can of sparkling rum, the tv was playing baby shark, you could not care less of what was playing at that point, alongside the scattered conversation cards on the floor. 

You could barely read the question card in your hand, but Namjoon was quick to read his. 

“Why did you break up with your most recent ex?”

You frowned. “That’s not fair, how come your last question was about what do you miss in your childhood but I got this?!”

“Just answer it!” He laughed. 

“I don’t know. It’s been a year I don’t even wanna remember.” You shrugged.

“It’s been that long?” 

“Yeah.” You chuckled. “Can’t believe it’s been a year since last time I got laid.” 

He looked at you with widened eyes due to the unbelievable sentence that just came out from your mouth. The alcohol truly was making you lose your filter. 

“You haven’t got laid in a year???” 

“Stop, don’t say it like that!” You whined. “So what if I don’t do casual hookups?”

“True but…” He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at you. “I just can’t believe it cause you’re hot.”

You eyed him questioningly, squinting in a cartoonish behavior. 

“I have eyes.”

“So do I, duh.” 

“Just take a compliment, please.” He rolled his eyes.

Both of you were sitting on the sofa with shoulders touching each other. Your head was getting heavy and his voice started to sound like honey, buttering your ears, making your mind dizzy. Furthermore, you did not know since when did he has his hand over your left thigh, just sitting there doing nothing. 

“Don’t you get horny sometimes?” He asked again, followed by a light grin. 

“Obviously.” You laughed bitterly. “Why? You’re offering help or something?” 

It was a bold thing to say, but before you knew it, somehow you were manhandled into his lap and your lips met in a rough and hungry kiss. Honestly you did not know how many minutes passed of both you just tongue dancing with each other. He broke the kiss only to ask you a question. 

“Do you mind if I touch your boobs?”

You almost laughed, but quickly nodded anyway. The rest was history, which brought you to the first problem. Your best friend waking up almost fully naked next to you, asking you a question that sounded so vile in your ears. 

“This wouldn’t change our friendship, right?”

“Yeah… I guess so.” 

“I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable or anything—“

“No! I swear I’m not…” You quickly interrupted. 

“I did wear…”

“You did.” You chuckled. “It was a good thing I had some in my bedside.” 

“Okay.” He laughed nervously. “You sure you’re alright, though?”

“I mean… shit happens, I guess?” 

“I guess you’re right.” 

You were in fact a big fat liar. Things quickly went downhill right after. If it wasn’t that obvious to you then, it was now. You had feelings for Namjoon and it was even harder when he would still ask you to eat dinner with him after work. He acted like nothing had ever happened between you, and so did you. You endured and buried whatever feelings you had, for the sake of not wanting to lose him. 

Watching him acting normally when your friends were around while here you were, trying your best not to break your character. 

**

“Jin!” You exclaimed, hugging the guy. 

“Come on, everyone’s drinking already!”

Of course you were late, you were considering the option of not even showing up at all. It was getting harder trying to compose yourself while Namjoon was right there with all of your friends. 

“Why is Yoongi dancing?” You looked at the chaos in front of you. 

“I told you, they’re already drinking.” Jin laughed. “Here, take this.” The guy handed you a cup. 

You cringed upon bringing the cup closer to your nose. “Is this Jungkook’s whiskey cola?! That guy mixes like one percent of cola to his whiskey. I’m not drinking this.”

“You could always spend the night.” The older guy replied as he shrugged at you with a grin on his handsome face. 

“I’m not sleeping on your couch.” You laughed, bringing the untouched cup with you anyway. 

“You’re here!”

You gulped. Of course he had to greet you all excited. You wanted so badly to wipe that stupid smile off his face, but you couldn’t. You had to put on this whole best friend act. Just a little longer.

He looked casual and boyish. The plain army green oversized tee matched with his cream colored bermuda shorts. Ever since he decided to bleach his hair you couldn’t manage more than three seconds looking at his face. It was just a silly thing he did when he was bored, but boy oh boy did he look hot.

Managing a smile, you hoped he didn’t notice the few seconds of silence you took. 

“Come here!!!” Yoongi shouted at you with a silly smile on his face. Man was clearly drunk out of his mind. 

“Who’s responsible for this?” You felt bad but couldn’t help but to laugh slightly at the sight. 

“Let him be, dude’s heartbroken.” Taehyung bit his inner cheek as he told you. 

“Poor Yoongi.” You cooed. 

“Joon though, on the other hand…” Taehyung continued, whispering to your side. “My guy looks like he’s in love.”

Your body jumped internally. “He is?”

“You don’t know? I thought you guys hangout together a lot lately.”

“Well, yeah but… he’s never really mentioned anything in that topic actually.” 

“Weird.” Taehyung hummed. “Cause he’s totally acting like he’s in love with someone right now.” 

“He acts the same.” You replied. Secretly you prayed that your friend would not notice the annoyed tone in your voice. 

“He’s been writing love songs, are you kidding me?!” The guy next to you laughed. 

“So? Love songs sell.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Bro, I saw this part of the lyrics where he talk about a girl riding him! It’s insane!” Taehyung beamed. 

A flush of heat came through you and you cleared your throat, regaining your composure. “That’s none of my business.” 

“Ah, I get it now. You’re jealous.” The lad smirked and nodded his head at you. 

“Now what kind of conspiracy theory is this?!” You tried to laugh it off. 

“I mean, yeah he doesn’t normally go for girls that look like you.”

“That’s offensive.” 

“No, I mean in a good way. He dates the most boring and basic looking pretty girls.”

“I was feeling great until you drop the word “pretty” at the end.” You eyed the guy. 

“He doesn’t join our online gaming nights anymore.” 

“And?” 

“Since he started hanging out with you.”

The statement made you stop. Taehyung’s words had you contemplating. Some nights you would give Namjoon a call when you were just simply tired, wanting to hear the comfort of his voice. Listening to his random rambles and yaps were enough to ease the burnt out from work. Could it be? Was talking to you important enough to make him skip gaming with his friends? You hoped it wasn’t just a silly thought. 

“Hello?” Taehyung waved at you. “Back from delulu world, yet?”

“Shut up.”

“Suit yourself.” Taehyung snickered before leaving you to join the others doing karaoke session. 

You could only shook your head in amusement. After being friends with them for years, the sight of the guys being goofy was definitely not something new to you. Spotting the empty dining table, you chose to sit on the chair, watching them from afar. 

That was until a certain someone approached you. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Speak of the devil. 

You forced a grin. “You know Taehyung and his silly rambles.” 

“You’re not gonna join us?” 

“Nah, I don’t feel like drinking today.” Funnily, the cup of drink was still in your hand. You swirled the liquid and stared at it. 

“What’s bothering you?” He asked while taking the empty chair next to you. 

“Just don’t wanna drink today, that’s all?” 

“Wanna go get some fresh air?” He looked at you with a sly smile. 

“We can???” You looked at him with wide eyes. “Where?”

“Jin’s bedroom balcony. We just have to be very quiet though so they don’t notice us going upstairs.” He chuckled. 

“You’re crazy. This is some type of shit that will get slippers thrown at us!” 

“He’s already on his new cup.” Namjoon said, bringing your attention to the older guy taking a fill of his drink. “He won’t notice.”

The smile on his face was making it hard for you to refuse the offer. Sighing, you put the plastic cup down on the table and stood up. 

“Fine, but if anything happens, I’m blaming it fully on you.”

“Whatever you say, princess.” He laughed and stood up as well. 

Oh if only he knew the effect he had on you, just casually calling you with that nickname. 

Both of you tiptoed upstairs, giggling like a couple of high schoolers sneaking out. You let him open Jin’s room and closed the door behind. As soon as you both make it to the balcony, you saw him shuffling his hand through his back pocket. 

“Do you mind if I smoke?”

“Uh, no. Go ahead.” 

“Thanks.” He said before lighting one on his lips. 

You just stood there, unknowingly admiring him huffing and puffing smoke to the opposite direction from you. 

“Still don’t wanna tell me what’s inside your pretty little head?” He looked at you with a grin. 

“What’s with the compliments today?” You raised one of your eyebrows at him. 

“It’s probably the alcohol.” He chuckled. 

“Wow, so you need to be drunk to say that I look good?!” You folded your arms.

“I’d say it made me more honest… but believe what you wanna believe.” He looked to your direction, making your heart jumped. 

You cleared your throat. “Joon, I uh… I kinda need to tell you something.” 

“What is it?” 

Whatever the hell that happened between us, changed me. I wasn’t okay with just being friends. I have feelings for you. 

“You look like the baby from Ice Age movie.”

“Fucking hell.” He groaned as you bursted out laughing. 

It was for the best. He did not need to know. You would outgrow this abnormal phase.

The whole world stopped when he suddenly tucked your hair behind your ears. You froze, looking at him, searching for his eyes. There was that smile again. 

“It’s windy.” 

“Y-Yeah.” You stuttered. 

“This might sound crazy but can I kiss you?”

You widened your eyes and stepped back a bit. “You’re drunk.”

“Maybe if you…“ He groaned, squeezing his cigarette bud and tossing it. “Fuck it.”

“Huh—“

Your words were quickly cut by his lips on yours. Your mind went blank in an instant. What? Why? Whom? What was even happening you did not know anymore. All you knew was his lips moving softly against yours and the only thing that was filling up your brain was to do the same thing to him. You could taste the slight bitter taste of his cigarette, mixed with whatever fruity drink he had before, the one the boys clearly had drank all before you came since you were left with Jungkook’s abomination whiskey. 

You didn’t know how long were both of you lip locking with each other before you felt his hands started to travel, feeling up your body. You hummed on his lips and felt his breath hitched. Things seemed wrong but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop it. How could you? When this was all you wanted all along?

“Joon… I…” 

You tried to protest, but he quickly captured your lips again. This time more hungrily, almost feral. You swore you felt his hands grab your butt, massaging them softly. You flinched, a low yelp escaped your lips. 

Then he suddenly stopped. 

“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” He palmed his face. “I didn’t mean— Shit, you’re gonna hate me…”

“It’s okay, you’re just drunk…” 

“I’m not drunk.” He stopped you. “I have feelings for you.”

Now that’s a surprise. 

“You have feelings… for me?”

“Should’ve told you sooner, but I chickened out.” He smiled to himself. 

“You asked me if things wouldn’t change after that night…” You looked away, biting your lips. 

“I was panicking. I thought you’d hate me.”

“Well I don’t.” You huffed. “Clearly, I’m still here. I somehow managed to maintain my sanity while trying my best not to let things change between us. Just like how you wanted…” You didn’t realize some tears were already escaping your eyes. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, which frankly, only made the crying worse. 

“You’re dumb.” You pulled away slightly, just to see his face. “But I have feelings for you too.”

You both laughed in unison and he pulled you back in his embrace, hugging you tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You better be.”

“OH MY GOD!!!” 

You both turned your heads to Jin’s voice yelling from a near distance. In a flash you let go of each other. You looked at Namjoon and he only shrugged with a disappointed smile. 

“Who told you fuckers can enter my room so freely, huh?!” Jin yelled. 

“We thought you were drunk enough to not care.” You replied. 

“Well thanks to Yoongi turning our karaoke session into a crying fest, I had to wrap things up. Then I realize the two of you are missing.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, it was all me. I needed a quick smoke and I dragged her along.” Namjoon laughed, clearly not taking the older guy seriously. 

“Whatever.” Jin turned his back. “Just fuck off for now, my head hurts and I need to sleep.”

“Yes, sir.” Joon replied. 

“Go sleep somewhere.” The lean guy shooed. “And don’t you dare have sex in my house.”

“We didn’t—“ 

“Zip it.” Jin pointed at you. “Go before I throw my expensive Louis Vuitton slides at both of you.”

The two of you quickly made an exit. As soon as the door closed, the thick awkward atmosphere surrounded you. 

“You’re staying here for the night?” He asked. 

“Don’t know.” You looked around. “Are you?”

“Wanna… go back to my place? It’s just a ten minute walk.” He said sheepishly. “And uh, do things correctly this time?”

A giddy smile formed on your lips as you let him take your hands in his.

Thank you for reading! ⛅️

[kusakiguzen]

Bts x Reader (8th member)

A/N: Okay hear my tf out. I abolish one of my rules of not writing about human people, I hate being hypocrete hence i'm getting rid of this rule, in which i say i don't write about people (still a lil uncomfy but this fic has been on my mind and it is hindering my writing of other fics). Just sit back and enjoy this bullshit since i haven't read anything like this. One of the scenes were inspired by song like "My R" English version. And other songs too.

Warnings: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, copying,etc idk. I do not condone the behavior done by the reader in this fic. There are events that did happen in real life. If you feel like the doing the shit that the reader did, please contact help as its not healthy. This is mostly fiction and a fragment of my imagination.

You were a normal person, going through a tough time. Depression and stress taking its toll, You took up selfharm, scars littering all over your arms and stomach. Pressure from parents about their expectation getting heavier and heavier.

But then you heard them.... Their song for the first time. BTS or 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan. Their heavenly voice, their goofiness was your comfort in those dark times, you even stopped cutting your self because Namjoon (RM) said he'd shave the eyebrows of people who don't take care of themselves ( and if you don't study, Listen to him people), Laugh with them and be goofy while watching Run BTS, Eat with Jin while watching EatJin. They saved you, helped you, behind the screen, even without meeting them in person. They were you saviors. You even learnt Korean, so you can understand and learn their songs, all 230 of them.

You hated when people judged them for smallest of things, unnessecary hate they got, stupid rumors.... Everything like that. You wished you could protect them like they did to you. But you couldn't.... Its fine All of you and Army together can. So it was fine. They were your escape, Escape form reality and this world.

But you can't escape reality forever. It always catches up, it haunts you. And soon even they couldn't save you from you attempting to take your life. But I guess they did save you by going live when you planed to end yourself. But good things never last. On a particular day, it was too exhausting, you felt numb, lifeless, like a shell with no purpose. While on the end of the side walk, waiting for the light to turn red ( for the cars?) You were picking a song to listen to, you started walking, didn't see the truck coming.

You saw two headlights coming closer by the seconds, your fingers clicked on a song, just before the impact, You heard the lyrics of "I NEED U" and the only thought in your mind was

"Ah shit, I'm gonna die without even going to their concert..... haaaahhh"

And you saw black, and were welcomed by nothingness.

You were in there for what felt like hours, before being welcomed with bright light and the smell of sanitizer and disinfectents. Hissing, you opened your eyes and saw the white ceiling of the hospital, and two people on each sides who noticed your conciousness.

They were calling your name, asking if you were okay, the only problem was

They were speaking Korean

Words came out of your mouth instinctively. Matching the language of the two strangers,

"Who are you?"

Yo were terrified, did you get kidnaped while being unconscious? or is you brain playing tricks since the last thing you heard was Korean?

You saw doctors panic and checking every thing, But before you could say anything your head started spining and you lost consciousness again, The last thing you hear was the sound of doctors and the two strangers telling you to stay with them.

Welcomed by darkness again, but soon something started playing in front of you like a movie. You realised that it was a child's life story. A child who was lonely, isolated and extremely shy. You say the child be bullied, picked on, the two people who were with you in the hospital room dismissing the child. It stopped after you saw her get hit by a truck.

Then it stopped. And you saw the girl crying in what looked like a puddle. You went up to her and you guys talked, laughed and all in all had a fun time.

Then she said something and you again woke up in the hospital.

Please take care of my body and live like you want to in this life, for the both of us...... Don't try to avenge me, Okay Unnie*?

You woke up in the same hospital bed surrounded by the same people. But that girls words just kept spining in your head. What did she mean?

You sat up and saw your hands and dread washed over you, These were hands of a child, specifically the little girl you met the darkness.

You shouted asking for a mirror which the women beside you gve it to you....... No Fucking way, you became a child? The same child you met? Then it clicked, the words of the girl. OH MY GOD! you thought reincarnation only happed in Manhwas or Anime. So Wtf is this? did you get reincarnated in a Manhwa? Anime?

You were utterly shocked, absolutely baffeled. But composed yourself immediately, and asked for the date. It was February 15th 2007. Then you asked your age and were told you were 14, go to Gwaneum Middle School. Why did that name sound so familiar to you?

You were soon discharged and taken back home in Daegu Town, Again it sounded so familiar to you but you brushed it off as it being the body's memory.

After a month your school started and you met him.......... Min Yoongi..

WTF? Huhh? how? wat?? Okay you are probably dreaming, yup this dream.

You walked up to him and introduced yourself to him, but he just looked at you nodded and left, leaving you behind before you could say anything.

'Okay that was awkward' you thought

After that day, you started to befriend him, atleast try to, but he was extremly shy and isolated. But you still stayed, sometimes buying him food to show your sencierity and help him out knowing he didn't have much .

You also wrote all the BTS songs in a diary with a lock. wrote some other songs that were your favorite in another diary, since now you know why you were here. To help and protect them like you wanted and promised. That's right you were going to work a million times harder. Yes For them.

You weren't making progress in breaking down the walls around Yoongi's had built around his heart all of these years, but you weren't going to give up. So you kept trying, and trying. Doing things like joining him for lunch, buying him food and telling him you brought too much and he can have the extra, taking the bus with him and paying for him. Helping him without hurting him.

You finally broke down the walls he created after one incident. Yoongi being shy and unconfrontational stayed out of trouble, So if he'd get bullied he would take it.

One day Yoongi was late for lunch so you went to look for him, found him in the back of school wet with milk, and the carton lying near him, being bullied. He was clutching another one refusing to let go of it. The boy was hitting and slapping Yoongi's head and laughing at him while other boys record.

You saw red, Fucking bitch try to touch your Yoongi? Your SUGA? The kind hearted boy? You started voice recording and approaching them. With a sickly sweet voice you told them to leave Yoongi alone and asked him to come behind you. The boys whose name you didn't even try to get to know started insulting you and calling you names. Going as far as grabbing your shirt and ripping off some buttons. You screamed on purpose and started to "cry" and then the boys stopped recording, Bingo. You sneakily stopped recording yourself and then got up and said

"You Got 5 seconds to apologize."

5....

4...

they started laughing and mocking you

3..

Yoongi telling you to get away from there

2......

the boys again try to touch your chest but....

1.....

Lets just say they will never think of even looking in your direction after that.

You were called to the principal's office for that, and Yoongi wanted to accompany you to testify but you told him its fine and left alone. He never felt so powerless in his whole life. If you didn't know how to fight, who knows what would have happened.

You stood in front of the principal's office and pretended to cry. You guess all the extra curriculars your paents made you take did come in handy. You entered with puffy bloodshot eyes, red nose and cheek. Right of the bat the parents of the boys started accusing you and calling you a bitch and other derogatory names. You calmly told them that what you did was self defence. Again it went right over the parents head and now they were calling you a liar. Okay they refuse to settle this normally, you pulled out the recording from you phone, and placed it in front of them, playing it. They obviously were taken aback but composed themselves, It was the the principal's turn. He started to berate you, and took the recording and broke it.

Okay, so they chose the hard way, hhhaaaaaahhh you hoped they wouldn't be like this but it has to be done.

You fake pouted, looking at them. Looking back at the broken record and just started laughing.... Hard like a mad man. Then said...

"I guess it was real, what they show in all the k-drama. So I have to take revenge like how they do in them... Pity i was hoping to settle this peacefully."

Then you played something else.... The video of them bullying Yoongi.

How do you think your company will fare when they find out about this and the things you said right now? Hmm?

Taking out the recorder that you had kept ON for proof.

You smiled as you saw all their face turn pale. They started begging you, apologizing, While on their knees. Ahhhhh this feels good. You got up and tried to leave, when they asked if you'd forgive them. You looked back and smiled saying...

"Apologize to Yoongi like that and maybe I'll consider it, ne~~"

They did, They apologized to him on their knees making Him extreemly surprised. This is when Yoongi and you became close. After school that day, he grabbed your sleeve gently while you guys were walking to the bus station, you turned around and he was holding the same banana milk carton. He looked at you and then offered you the milk, catching you by surprise. He then said how you mentioned you liked banana milk but kept forgetting to buy it, so he bought one for you. You gently took it from his hand and started drinking it, you said it was the best thing you had tasted/drunk in a while, while a blush coated your face.

Your relationship changed and you both became inseparable, he became more expressive and talkative with you too. This lasted till Yoongi got a girlfriend. She was a sweet girl from your class whom you both befriended, when they announced that they were dating, everything changed. You often found yourself alone while they went on awkward dates, and the girl did tell you to keep a boundary now that he was in a relationship. You understood where she was coming from but you wanted to maintain the friendship.

This caused an argument, and you backed off. You distanced yourself from them to the point you stopped talking to either of them. And during that time you were selected for a compitation to represent Daegu Town. You went to Seoul to compete in it, and thats where you met another member, Kim Namjoon aka Rap Monster, representing Ilsan. The compatition was tough and you lost by 1 point. You and Namjoon did become friends after that and kept in contact. Till the few months Yoongi was dating, you got close to Namjoon. But after a few months Yoongi's girlfriend broke up. And boom a heartbroken and rain soaked Yoongi was standing in front if your door looking absolutely heartbroken.

Without hesitation you let him in, shoved him in the shower while cleaning up the water all over the place, reheating some food for him, You had made rice and Kimchi-guk (kimchi soup) since it was raining. Yoongi came out soon as you plated the food, a towel on his neck, still with the blank face which he made when he tried to hide his emotions. You sat him own on the floor, giving him the food and taking the towel to dry his hair. He was eating quitely but then suddenly spoke up...

"She broke up with me....."

"Huh?"

"My girlfriend.... she broke up with me...."

You knew this would happen but it still hurt to see him like this, you had realised that he didn't want you to press further or feel guilty for his sake. So you just hummed and then got up to get another towel because the one you were using got too wet and wasn't absorbing the water. Just as you were about to get up, his hand grabbed yous and a soft whisper of "stay" came out of his mouth. You wanted to tell him you'll be back but as soon as you turned around you saw Yoongi barely able to hold back his tears.

The towel was long forgotten and you immediately wrapped your hands around him bringing him into a hug, sat in silence while his tears soaked your shirt and you alternating between rubbing his back and playing with his hair. After he calmed down, you showed him to you spare room and made him sleep there since he is not n the right mind to drive or even walk.

After you made sure Yoongi was asleep, you slowly crept out of the room and went into you room. Because today, you and Namjoon were going to talk on the phone. You apologised for being late and explained that your friend had an emergency, he was understanding and you guys talked for hours about music and switching to studied whenever his parents or sister entered the room. You guys had planed to meet in 2 days but you had to postpone because of Yoongi. He said he didn't mind and you scedueled it for the next weekend.

The friendship between you and Yoongi grew even more, which you didn't even know was possible. He never put you second, and tried to redeem himself for the time he lost. On the other hand you visited Namjoon every other weekend and your bond grew stronger with him as well.

Few years passed and nothing really changed much, You life remained the same. Until for your high school trip you all were going to Gwangju Metropolitan City, where you bumped into Jung Hoseok. The world is a really small place. You both apologized and went your own ways, but fate had different plans for you. You separated from you group and strayed away to an unfamiliar area, and your phone was dead, suddenly 2 creeps started questioning you and trying to get you to come with them. That's when you saw Hoseok, and feeling scared you just loudly screamed "There you are!!! I was waiting for you" jogging up to him, he was sharp enough to understand the situation. He grabbed your hand and "reprameneded" you about staying from the group. He started leading you away as your hands trembled, as soon as they were out of sight, you knees gave out, if not for him you would have fallen hard. He was extremly worried. After few minutes you regained your composure and stood up with his help, You both walked to the nearest park where he sat you down, ram to a vending machine and got you a drink.

He gave you his phone so you could call for help but you were still a little shaken up. Absentmindedly you dialed Yoongi's number and gave it to Hoseok so he could talk since she was shaken up.

On the other hand You felt pathetic, at 14 you defended Yoongi from some rich and entitled people and now your trembling because of some random stranger? The reason was because this is an unfamiliar teritory, you don't know anything about this place. You really didn't want think about what could have happened if Hoseok didn't show up.

After Hoseok was done talking to Yoongi about the situation, turned his attention towards you, Yoongi had told him that he called your teacher and asked if Hoseok could keep you company while the teacher arrived, He already planed to do that so he agreed. You teacher came, obviously very worried and took you back not before thanking Hoseok. You handed him a note that had your number telling him how it would be nice to become friends with him.

During that week of your stay there, you met up with Him almost every day. You and him became pretty close and even after you left, you both kept in contact.

A year later, Yoongi told you about how he was going to audition to become a producer, which you encouraged and also told him how you'd accompany him. So in 2010, at the ripe age of 17, he joined the Big Hit Entertainment. You also got accepted, which left you confused but you weren't complaining. You were introduced to Namjoon by Yoongi, expecting you to not know him, but was very surprised to see you give him a hug and tell him how you missed him. You also met Hoseok again, and told Yoongi about him and how you met in the high school trip, and how they both talked. This eased the tension between the members, having a common topic to talk about, YOU.

A year later, you met the younger members during their training, an extremly shy Jeon Jeong-guk, The cute Kim Taehyung. But due to the age difference you couldn't get close to them, which made you sad, but it was understandable. You also met WWH, Kim Seokjin, you didn't get along immediately but still got along fine.

Another year later you met Park Jimin. He got along with Taehyung, as expected. And soon enough another year passed and BTS was formed, with an addition, YOU, L/N Y/N. Which the Hyung line (except Jin) was happy about since they already knew you, you were their back bone, Helping in every way possible, from cooking for them to helping them practice, no matter how tired you were. You always made sure they ate and healthy.

Their first song, "No More Dream" was released. Not getting much attention, which you expected but the others were much more disappointed. But you were there this time, helping them through it all.

And you made a solo album but the twist you copied songs like Labour by Paris Paloma, Alone by Nico Collins, Favorite by Issabel Larosa, and many more. You made sure they will still get the attention in the future.

For years, they worked hard but to nothing satisfying enough to make too much profit. It caused rifts between the member and the mental and physical exhaustion taking a toll on them. You yourself were barely holding it together, with the constant arguments, them neglecting their health. You were practically holding all of them together. But you were only human, during one argument between the members, you snapped, so fucking hard that it scared all of them. Tears rolling down your face, while you voice getting Hoarse from the shouting, after you were done, you felt nothing. And words came out with nothing but a whisper...

"I can't do this anymore...."

And with that you left the apartment, with nothing. When the members recovered from the shock, you were long gone. Yoongi being your childhood friend, ran out the door trying to search for you. It was late at night hence not safe for you to be outside, especially alone. He was soon followed by the others, Shouting your name, running around the neighbourhood, Tears clouding the younger member's eyes, fearing your safety, and about your words before you left. Your words playing in everyone's mind, haunting them.

After an hour of searching with nobody being able to find you, they returned home, hoping, begging for you to come back.

On the other hand, you felt like shit, the last thing they needed was you snapping and walking out on them. You took a walk for a while (like 2-3 Hours) without realizing the time, collecting your thoughts.

Back with the BTS members, they were coming to realization, you cooked for them 3 meals every day. You were up before them and slept after making sure all of them ate and were comfortable. You made sure they get a healthy and nutritious meal 3 times a day, atleast 5-6 hours of sleep, and also made sure to clean the apartment. Fuck, for years you did so much. You held them together. But who held you together? You had their backs but who had yours? You let them unwind in your arms but where did you take out your emotions? You helped them but who helped you? Not them... not anyone... Because you never showed it, Never once... They were too busy dealing with their own emotions to notice yours....

Man they felt like shit. No wonder you left. Who could blame you? They would leave too if they were you, long before this, you held on for soo long.... You were so strong, so amazing. God they couldn't describe what they were feeling in that moment. And their tears started to fall, without them realizing it.

You obviously came back to apologize for your out burst, but met with tear filled eyes of your other members. They were apologizing, with broken voice and sobs. You were surprised and also started to apologize, hugging them, and they compalined how you were still worried about them, to which you laughed and told them its second nature to you at this point.

After that day, they started to help out more around they house, with another rule, you will sleep with one of the members (not like that you unholy little shits), cuddle so they could make sure you get enough sleep too. They soon realized how different you acted when you were calmer. Your bond grew as a team and also this also stopped them from disbanding. They also became very over protective of you. Any signs of discomfort and they were beside you. Which you were grateful for.

But nothing goes as fucking planed, like fate loves to fuck with you, Since you all shared a place means no privacy, just your luck. You had brought your diary with you, the same diary you wrote all their songs in. It was locked obviously but one unfortunate day, it was found, by none other than your Leader. You didn't have to worry about it before since you always cleaned, but things changed and the others started to help out around the house. And everyone got curious when Namjoon brought it out, there were 2 of them, one obviously filled with what looked some pages added. There was one more thing, an old carton of banana milk, Yoongi recognized it immediately and got extremely flustered. Yoongi was unfortunately able to figure out the code, how? It was his birthday 090393, As soon as he started to read it, he felt sick, and vas about to vomit, dread washing over him, it was so sick. What do you mean when you wrote that you had died and woken up in someone else's body? What the actual fuck was this. Yoongi dropped the diary and ran towards the bathroom and vomited all the contents of the lunch. One by one all of them read it, not the whole way just the few pages. But all of them realized something and they needed answers. So they waited for you to come home.

You came home ready to tell everyone to freshen up while you cooked. But the moment you entered, you saw all seven of them sitting on the couch and their lied your diary. You dropped everything you were carrying as their gaze turned towards you, trembling with a face that show how horrified you were, instinctively your hand came to cover your mouth, griping it tightly. They were just looking at you until Jungkook spoke up.

"Noona... please tell me the things in this diary is a joke" looking at you, pleading for you to agree with him, hands trembling. Jin was next to speak up

"Y/N..... answer him... Is it true?" His voice betrayed the face he was making.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE ANSWER HIM!!" Yoongi shouted at you making you and the others flinch since Yoongi never raises his voice. That moment, all eyes were on you, waiting for an answer.

Your voice was soft, they wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't so silent.

"Yes.... Everything in it is true.... I did die and woke up in this body... I- I wanted to tell you guys but...." Your voice was trembling, you were terrified of the changes that will come in your relationship. Shocked and horrified, they just left you there in the living room, to comprehend what you just said. It hit Yoongi the hardest since he knew you for the longest.

Everything changed after that day, they started to avoid you like a plague. No matter how hard you tried, hell they wouldn't even eat the food you made.

You were getting more and more numb as the days passed, this was torture for you. You had made your life's purpose to help them, stay with them... Live for them, but they don't want you there, No reason to live... Right? You reached you breaking point when they excluded you from the song you all were working on. That day you returned home, lay on the bed till it was almost time, thinking about what could have been while waiting for the others to return. Just before the time of their return, you grabbed your phone and left the house. Tonight you were going to end your suffering along with the burden you've been carrying with you.

You didn't know they returned early. Jimin saw you leaving, and his gut had this feeling he couldn't describe it, it could be called dread but it was much worse. So he inform the other members and they understood, and then all of them started to follow you, secrately.

You were out of it while walking to a certain building. You've been watching it, observing the time people left it and when you could access it, without disturbance. You reached the building, it had about 12 story high, so death won't be instant but you could take a few minutes of pain. You took the stairs, slowly making your way up. When you reached the top, you started to walk closer to the edge, there was space on the other side of the railing. You too off your shoes, let your hair down ( if you have short hair ignore this line) and went on the other side and just sat down. Hair flowing with the cool breeze giving you moments of comfort before it was all about to end. You got up, closed your eyes while turning to the roof top, holding the bar, and leaning over the edge and then you let go. Suddenly you felt a hand hold yours, leaving you dangling over the building. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook holding your hand with all his strength while also holding the railing with the other.

He was grabbed by Namjoon, so he let go of the railing and held you using both of his arms. Hoseok also joined him to help while Jin held him. You smiled at them softly and then whispered

"I'm Sorry." And then used your feet to push yourself out of his grip, but Hoseok caught you and Jungkook didn't let go.

When they were finally able convince you and coax you , to pull yourself back up on the roof with their help, you did. And then were met by a slap by Jimin and then hugged by him, speaking incohearent words between his loud and heartbreaking sobs, soon others were also hugging you trembling but Jungkook and Hoseok stood a little far looking at their hands. After the others let go of you, you made your way to the two members standing looking at their hands. How could you be so stupid? Traumatizing a literal child because of your selfishness. Softly you called their name and they snapped out of whatever they were thinking and look at you, back at their hands. Tears now steaming down their face as they tackled you in a hug crying loudly.

After everyone clamed down, They asked you about your past life and you told them, leaving the part out where they were famous because you were scared something might happen to them if you did tell them. They were very curious, and you found that adorable. While you were reminiscing, you casually mentioned about your suicide attempts in your past life, and how they saved you then as well, Traumatizing them further.

The other members then told you that they were avoiding you because they wanted to process things and also ask about the whole back story, Yoongi apologized for yelling, telling you he wasn't angry, Just scared for you and what you went through alone. You understood their reaction, and told them it was fine. This raised even more concerns because you are acting like you didn't just try to kill yourself just a few seconds ago. This was voiced by Yoongi and you told him that you were used to dealing with mental burdens alone. Which RM interrupted and told you you aren't alone like you were in the past life. You have them, everyone nodded at that statement and you chuckled due to how cliche it sounded and how comical they looked nodding like that. That night on that roof, all the secrates you kept to yourself, all out in the open. You felt vulnerable but it wasn't necessary a bad thing.

You were happy that it was now no longer a secrete because, you can express yourself more and not act like everything was okay every time.

Its Okay Not To Be Okay. ( see what i did there?)

After that incident, they never left alone, atleast one member will accompany you, everywhere. You want to cook, let Jin join. You want to paint? Jungkook is ready with supplies. You want to produce music? Suga is waiting for ya. You wanna perfect your choreography? J-Hope and Jimin are waiting in the dance studio. You wanna nap? You can ask anyone. You want to practice your vocal? V is ready to help.

You also released a SOLO called "HEAL" which had 2 songs ' My R' and 'Miss wanna die'. which represented the sucide attempt but also a senario where "what if Jungkook wasn't able to reach you." It stared every members and their grives when it happend, it was raw with feelings. The music video replaying the events of the day with some extra touches. Like a devestating screem of Yoongi as you fell from the roof. and some more emotional stuff. It was there to serve as a reminder to you and the group of what you went through together. You also got a tattoe, a mix of a semicolan and a butterfly sybolising new begining.

Every day was the same until.... You got a call. Caller ID displaying the name "Eomma" (mom). You picked up and greeted her, she returned the greeting and then started to ask about your how your music and stuff was doing, you told her it was going great. To which she replied how happy she is and then told you how your whole family was in Seoul and they wanted to meet. You were suspicious because the last time you saw her or even spoke to her was in the hospital, when you woke up in this body. You reluctantly agreed, She was happy to hear that and told you to wear a pretty dress and look decent and the coming Sunday meet them at the Wangbijib Sicheong Mugyo. You told the other members, Yoongi told you in private that he also has the same suspicions as you and asked if he could accompany you along with Jin. You agreed since it would be more comfortable with them around.

Since it was a fancy restaurant, you made the to males wear tux, and you wore a a Gown (something like this or you can imagine whatever you want). Soon you all reached there and met with the sight of 4 unfamiliar faces along with your family. You made your way to them slowly and after reaching politely greeted them with a low bow. Your mother introduced the women as Ji-eun, the man as Dong-hyun, the boy as Hyun-woo and the girl as Jin-a. You introduced yourself while taking seat and also introduced you band members Min Yoongi and Kim Seokjin.

Your mother asked why you were being accompanied by them to which you replied policy. They understood and stated ordering, while holding a pleasent conversation. The food arrived and everyone started eating. You knew something was up because Hyun-woo kept stealing glances, and Ji-eun was gushing how well mannered you were and how beautiful you looked. Then they came to the point which made you deadpan. Marriage.....

You Parents decided to arrange your marriage with one of their bussiness partner's son. The moment this was brought up Jin choked on his drink while Yoongi's mouth fell open. You calmly wiped your mouth with the napkin provided, and interrupted the two women who were gushing about how you both should get engaged as soon as possible, by saying something that horrified both of them...

"Sorry to burst your bubble but i have no interest in marriage."

I mean why would you wanna marry someone when you have dedicated your whole life to BTS? You planed to stay by their side and marriage or even a relationship will hinder with your plans. So its a big No.

You mother tried to brush it off as you being funny but you interrupted again telling them you were serious. Your mother became furious and started to go on rant about how you need to have a good husband and children before its too late and you should stop wasting time. Your brother who was silent the whole time spoke up saying he respected your choice, infuriating your mother even more.

Jin and Yoongi stayed silent not knowing what to do. Ji-eun started telling you about her son and how successful and hansome he is. You pointed at Jin calling him the most handsome man you've met also using his infamous nickname WWH. This infuriated her and the dinner ended right then and their. Your brother drove you and the guys, telling you that he will always be there for you and not to worry about mother, and he will handle everything. He told you to live your life, which not gonna lie made you a bit emotional.

After your brother dropped you off, you gave him a hug and told him to keep in contact. The two elder members had told the others while you were busy with your brother effectively causing chaos.

Your brother kept his promise and shifted all of you in a bigger home for privacy and comfort, but mainly he didn't like the idea of you sharing a room with hormonal men who can take advantage of your kindness, his words not yours. Life went back to how it was.

Years passed and BTS then blew up, and hate for you started to pour in, about how you were ruining the group. It didn't bother you though, it was natural. But you couldn't say the same for the others. They made a firm statement on every platform, saying any hate towards you is a hate towards all of them, as they were a team.

But one incident where an interviewer had targeted you, bringing up all the hate and rumors to try to fluster you, but even before you could respond, the members got up and started walking away, you were picked up by RM and all of them just walked off. Since it was live the moment they stepped out, all the members reposted the statement and also stated that they will no longer be going to interviews like these.

Everyone soon found your solo album and boom all the haters who questioned your singing and dancing shut up. You don't show off in the band music because you wanted them to shine, but you don't have that restriction when you do solos.

Your other SOLO "HEAL" was also discoverd and people started to hate on you again for writing a song so sensitive without experiencing what those feelings were. You and all the members went live after having enough of the contovercies and reveled your sucidal past. This made people feel very guilty but you understood. You alsi made a statement saying misunderstanding happen and its fine. You were loved more after that.

You also made another solo, This time it had Alan Walkers future songs, You made sure to include him since he did produce so the only thing you did was sing his songs. SUGA was also there to help produce since you aren't allowed to be alone. He wouldn't admit it but he was a little jealous that you went to another producer and not him

That album blew up even more and you got your own fan club like the rest of them. And you were happy. But you didn't consider something..... Their developing feelings for you....

Namjoon was the first to fall for you. For him, it was love at first sight. The day of the competition in Seoul, he saw you and his heart beat increased. The way you'd carry yourself with such elegance and confidence, and during the competition, your voice was smooth but carried authority. Plus he never met someone who could match him like such . He was so sure you would win but you didn't, you lost by a single point. He wanted to congratulate you, who knows maybe get you number..... He over heard you telling someone that since you found him cute and let him win.. He left but then you came up to him and congratulated him and also gave him your number. Overtime, the more you chatted, the more his feeling developed,.......

Yoongi, even after being self aware, did not realise his feeling towards you. After getting a girlfriend, he subconsiously started comparing her to you, never saying it out loud. But all the little thigs you did to spoil him, or when you always hold his his hand while crossing the road or when you both are in crowded places. And after you started to avoid him, he would do the little things only to realize you weren't there. His girlfriend noticed, and decided to end the relationship. Yoongi was a gentleman, but it was you you who made him a better version of himself. She realized and ended it, Of course as expected, Yoongi didn't know, or understand why, She actually felt bad but it had to be done. She did offer they stay friends, He accepted and left, And for some reason it felt right to her. She figured Yoongi went to you. The next time they met alone, it was awkward but she finally told him,

"It was Y/N-nie that you have feelings for, not me. The feeling you felt towards me were just a reflection of what you felt towards her. I can guarenty it since i just know that you went to her after our break up, not that it bothered me since its a habit of yours.... You always go to her in the time of need and you always look relaxed with her... It isn't platonic Yoongi-sunbae.... You love her, more than you realize it. Please think about it."

She then left after giving a shallow bow. Reaching home he laid in his bed wide awake, even when his mind and body were begging him to sleep, her words fresh in his mind 'it isn't platonic...... you love her, more than you realize' . Does he? I mean he finds you absolutely breath taking, he also love all the small quirky habits you had. And god that smile, That smile which lights up his world....... Fuck he really does love you doesn't he.... And after realising it, it just started to grow him. Maybe he might act on them, maybe in the future.

Kim Seok-Jin's feelings were developed the most normal way. It became from friends to crush. He was delighted to find out that you would be a trainee with him, and he also helped you better your pronounciation skills, and you helped him with dancing. And he slowly started to fall for you. He was going to act on it but stopped when you mentioned you aren't looking for a relationship and want to focus on being a better idol. It made him sad but he understood. It also made him fall for you more, you passion and determination.

Jung Hoseok's feelings were complicated due to trust issues and past relationship, where his girlfriend cheated on him. So he prefered platonic since you were also popular with the guys, and you were also best friends with a guy, Min Yoongi, a fellow trainee. He didn't want to make things complicated, even though he belived you both will never be in the same group. He remembers you from when he saved you, and how you dialed Yoongi's number instead of your parents, and you two were practically inseprable even during the training. He had mixed feelings about this since you never talked you the other female trainees (you did but just never showed it). But he couldnt resist your charms, your passion, your hard work..... And your caring nature. He fell, Hard. He knew there will possibly be a love triangle but he didn't mind.. Its not like his rivals will be in the same group right? (lol)

The Maknae line fell for you simultaniously. Taehyung fist, then Jimin and lastly Jeong-guk. Taehyung was a normal teenager who went for looks and you were his type, but he started to truly fall for you when you all became a Band. He remembers you taking care of him, making sure he was alright, but one perticular incident stuck out to him which solidified his feelings for you. When you stood up to the manager about his cloths, Taehyung has cholinergic urticaria, meaning sweat and high body temperature cause hives all over his body, His manger was forcing him to wear tight cloths but you drilled the manager ( since you have a rich brother who was also an investor) and made sure he was comfortable. You also carried a a small electrical fan for him. These small gestures were arrow to his heart, like cupid struck him. As these gestures continued, his feelings also grew.

Park Jimin saw a side of you that only Yoongi had seen until then, It being your clumsy side. You were always careful during your trainee years, and even after the group was formed, but he'd always see you stumble and catch yourself, sometimes even chanting 'don't fall' like a mantra while carrying and walking. He found it absolutely adorable, he noticed your silly quirks and loved them. He also loved how caring you were and also extreemly passionate about your practice. Every time any of the manager would give them a hard time, you would be there to defend them. He loved it, He developed feelings soon after, when one of the manager was giving him an earful for something which was never his fault and he couldn't control, the manger who you later called was on 'power high'. You had shut the manger down so hard that the dude quit. He considered you his and everyone's 'Guardian Angel'

Jeon Jeong-guk, a.k.a Jungkook, joined the Big Hit when he was no older than 13. When he joined, he expected to do everything by himself, and probably not have a childhood. But he was roomed with you due to the lack of space, he was reluctent to share a space with a women much less a pretty one. But all the hesitance vanished the moment he met you. You were so warm and caring, even letting him skip out on chores sometime, but being warm didn't mean you weren't strict. You had always made sure he completed his school work, and kept a balance between spoiling him and disciplining him. You were also very cool in his eyes because of how you defended him and the other younger trainees. He didn't feel any romantic interest till the prank that BTS pulled on his 16th birthday, ( this one, if you haven't seen it). The moment cake came out, you immediately hugged the boy, and he started crying, after a while you were calming down Jungkook with hugs and kisses. Jungkook had then told them that, he was scared that his hyungs and producer were scolding him but the moment you said that you were disapointed in him, he couldn't keep it together and was scared you'd stop spoiling him. He also realised how jealous he got when you'd spoil other members the same way, and then went to Namjoon for advice. To which he found out he was in love.

You trying to kill yourself was a wakeup call for them and they had a meeting on your day off, without you. Every member confessed their feelings for you to each other, and realised it was either they had to fight for your affection or they could share it. They came to the decsion of sharing and protecting you. Since they all loved you, and you care so much for them, You must love the too right?

When they became famous, they kept seeing edits about you and another members, romantic ones. They even started to ship you with the Boys. They had requested their then manager to ask your opinion on it. To which you told him,

"I find them hilarious, I mean have you seen the boys? They are wayyy out of my league. If it were true then damn I'd win the loterry, But it won't happen, cuz I'm like a rock between Diamonds" while laughing.

What...... You think you don't deserve them? How could you? Can't you see how amazing you were? Truth be told they are the ones who don't deserve you....

I guess they have to just show you How important you are to them, Now don't they?

Why don't they recreate some of the fanfics you have been reading hmm....?

You'd like it right....?

A/N: OMFG FINALLYY, My blood, sweat and tears like by god it took too long. At this point i had another idea which i will write and almost dropped this one but i didn't want to keep others who actually look forward to my writing, waiting. Its been more than a month, Which I'm sorry about. I hope you enjoy!!! And wait for part two (it will take a while since i have another fic in mind right now) For right now i kept an open ending but in part two I'll write more about the romantic development in their relationships. Feel free to leave me ideas in the comments and how you thought Y/N ended up with the members?

Masterlist

Stay Safe, Healthy And Hydrated

[solarwynd]

There is no denying members like each other and are close to each other... But there are still these things they do that come off as rude there's no other way to see it. I already had a bitter feeling with "I did some lyrics" And "everyone is winning" comment right when jimin won something. But this time it's like there is no hiding for these ppl. I am side eyeing jin too at this moment. What's even more insane is that if rm really wanted to show how disappointed he is with the fandom that he didn't get billboard entry, he should have posted this when JK's never let go , a fan song debuted in hot 100 and not well promoted rm songs, but he decided to do it when jimin started breaking records. It's the same for seven release too, he had all good things to say about 7 when it was breaking records but "everyone is winning these days" when jimin won a music show. It's like when JK achieves something, it's inevitable and that's bound to happen, no questioning, but when it's jimin, starts guilt tripping the fandom lol. The translation tweets quotes are full of pity party as if armys don't usually do it whenever jimin songs do good, now members started adding fire to it.

“He did it on purpose, that man is active on every social network, he practically watches over them, it's obvious he knows what he can cause with his words, now I see how many are streaming out of pity, this harms him more than Jimin in my opinion. I don't think RM is bad, but he does feel envious of Jimin's achievements, I saw some asking why he doesn't do it when JK uploads something, but come on, what JK does is dirty unlike Jimin and that surely bothers him. I thought he was smarter, after all that Jimin did for him, he listens to him with the purest intentions and he pays him like this.” - #2 anon

I distinctinly remember him doing a live last year saying that he thought what JK was doing with his career was great (and this was after 7 dropped) Then again I don’t expect him to go on a rant condemning JK about the fraudulent activities surrounding his charting out loud so 🤷🏾‍♀️

But it is interesting how some of the members, armys and BH all have the same “chosen” view towards JK.

With him obviously going to Bang and demanding better promo and radio for RPWP, I’d say he just wants a chance at substantial commercial success and has blinders on for it. So Bang and Scooter gave him crumbs and he took it. And that’s why I don’t really think he cares about what’s “dirty” from what’s not or that he prizes Jimin’s means of success over JK’s. (Not that simple radio is in anyway dirty.) Now knowing that the image itself is from last year but he chose to post it now has me looking at him even more sideways though. Because he has consistently been online and the one time he posts during Jimin’s release is to moan about charting again. I don’t like that. And I’ve always said he’s justified in wanting his work to do well just like any other artist would, but again the timing was shitty. Cause armys are just using this to further their “Jimin is privileged” belief and to divert attention from his comeback to other members out of guilt and pity.

And the timing still would’ve been in bad taste had he done this post when NLG debuted on hot 100 though. Openly showing bitterness towards your team mates success like that especially when you’re the leader of the group would not be a good look at all.

Like OG anon there is love there and history, but with BTS there is such a frustrating lack of support and tact when it comes to certain things especially towards Jimin. It would take absolutely nothing out of any of them to write a simple “all the best” or w/e on weverse or a hype post on insta, but nothing. Even Jin gave the most indirect acknowledgment of MUSE with nothing else to follow. The only one who had any real type of well wishes was Hobi. And no one can tell me that Jimin asked them not to make a fuss cause he’s the type of person who loves praise and thoughtfulness from other people. It’s not about getting the validation either, like at bare minimum y’all are teammates. So the way the bulk of them act towards him just irks me.

[meta-squash]

Torchwood Fic Recs

Here's a bunch of fic recommendations for excellent Torchwood fics that I've had bookmarked. Many of these are from the old days of Torchwood fandom and never got transferred to ao3, so there are quite a few livejournal links and a few wayback machine links. Anything that I had bookmarked on lj that got transferred to ao3, I'll link the ao3. I may put my own notes/descriptions in brackets after the fic summary.

Proof Of Your Existence by sarcasticchick - Can you offer me proof of your existence? How can you? When neither modern science nor philosophy can explain what life is. [In which Ianto is more than what he seems.]

What Lies Within by xtricks - Ianto becomes contaminated with an alien. Jack will do whatever he can to hold onto him, even as he changes. [Link goes to the last chapter, which has all the others linked. TW: tentacle sex, which is partly metaphorical and partly literal.]

Conversational Japanese, Plus Frogs by james - Tosh and Ianto have been taken prisoner. They cope.

PTSD: Post Torchwood Stress Disorder by waldo - It's been two and a half years since Canary Wharf. It's been a year since Lisa. And Jack is just now realizing what the real toll has all been on Ianto and the other survivors of Torchwood One. Now he needs to fix a big thing done badly before anyone else dies.

Notebird by cyus - A note points to nowhere and a bird comes from nowhere, and Torchwood, in the wake of their teammates’ deaths, finds that some experiences shatter things into pieces too small to be fit back together.

Second Look by remindmeofthe- Sometimes, you get a chance to see the past through a different pair of eyes: your own.

The Cartography Of Feeling by sholio - "We're sodding gladiators," Owen said. "Fuck this entire day and Jack Harkness too." (Or: Owen and Ianto are abducted by aliens and forced to arena-fight. But the worst part might be the control device that connects them in an emotion and pain-sharing bond.)

Forget, Survive, Repeat by d8rkmessngr - He came to Torchwood, to Jack, for Lisa. But now she's gone and Ianto isn't sure what there is he has left. Post "Cyberwoman".

I Had No Idea I Had Been Travelling by kalichan & rm - It's not how you die; it's how you live, especially when your life is built of stories. And in the end, all lives are. [This fic is incredibly long, but it is absolutely beautiful, and most of the segments can be read individually. I'm of the opinion that everyone should read this fic. It's the Torchwood fic I continued to think about for years even when I was focusing on other fandoms.]

Hourglass by lazuli - Death is not the only form of loss. Torchwood grieves the loss of Owen and Tosh, and something strange is wrong with Jack. [Link goes to wayback machine, but all chapter links work.]

The Cricket And The Bird by solsticezero - On the nature of immortality and the longevity of birds.

Like The Wind by clarrisani- Sometimes all you can do is run. [Mild Owen/Ianto, leaning closer to friendship.]

More Richer Than My Tongue by sanginmychains - Ianto needs to get some space after the events of Cyberwoman. Jack comes along. They get rained on, and discuss their relationship.

Got That Friday Feeling Again by NancyBrown - HELP HELP HELP HELP I AM TRAPPED IN A TIME BUBBLE The magic marker all over the nice chintz wallpaper bled and smeared as Owen wrote in increasingly desperate lettering across the walls. Ls and Ps dragged down, wiggly at the end or drawn out in slashed strokes.

I Am Not My Own by methylethyl - "Torchwood's disability pay is about this big--" Ianto held up his thumb and index finger, about two centimeters apart. "--and comes out of a gun at a thousand meters per second."

Disinterred by seize - "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets." Ianto makes a discovery, and learns there are things he probably doesn't want to know. He asks anyway. [TW: torture.]

Frames Of Reference by echo - There's a difference between 'mostly alive' and 'mostly dead'. Sometime it's just hard to remember which one is which, especially when you get right down to the details.

Do Not Go Gentle by mcparrot - Reeling from the deaths of Owen and Tosh, Gwen and Ianto watch helplessly as Jack acts erratically. They assume it's just his way of mourning - until he disappears.

Tea And Sympathy by osprey_archer - Soon after Jack's disappearance, Owen takes sick. Ianto goes to check on him. [Some wonderfully unhinged Owen/Ianto fic]

Before You Know It by yuma - In all honesty, he should have been expecting it. He was there when boys, not yet men, suffered what was first called shell-shock, then combat fatigue, to the neatly packaged politically correct acronym.

Sweet, Delicious Despair by marchling - A group of strange suicides comes Torchwood's way when the police can't figure out why happy people with everything to live for are suddenly taking their own lives for seemingly no reason. The team is on the case, but there are no leads… Until one of their own is threatened. [TW: Suicide]

The Subject Of Mourning by jesuisgourde - Gwen had said Those poor girls. But both were dead, victims of Torchwood, of circumstance, of the most destructive kind of loyalty and love. Owen could only think Poor Ianto. The dead were dead. The living had to keep living with the pain. Owen and Ianto in the immediate aftermath of Cyberwoman.

In Your Image by blackbird_song - Jack and Ianto sitting in a tree: Torchwood-style.

Object Permanence by solsticezero - After the events of Exit Wounds, Ianto is left with lingering anxieties about the safety of the people he loves.

[a brief interlude for paperclipbitch fics. she's been my favourite torchwood writer since the early days. please read all of her stuff.]

If You Pass Go, Do Not Collect £200 by paperclipbitch - Ianto is sent to rescue Owen from 19th Century London, but he’s less than impressed by what Owen has been doing to survive.

Untitled Series 2 AU by paperclipbitch - “Come on,” Ianto sighs, and Owen falls into his side like he's just been waiting for the invitation. [Owen/Ianto]

Clinging To The Wreckage Until I Got The Message by paperclipbitch - “You need something other than this in your life, Owen,” Ianto murmurs. [Owen/Ianto]

People That I Wasn't by paperclipbitch - Jack and Ianto have to deal with death in all sorts of ways.

Hamartia by paperclipbitch - “Don’t you start,” Owen snaps, turning on him. Ianto doesn’t even bother to look up from where he’s inspecting his fingernails. ���Going to hit me again?” he asks lightly. [Owen/Ianto]

It Will Bleed You Dry by paperclipbitch - Europe is dying. But Jack refuses to let his team go.

Like There's A Part Of Me That I Want To Get Back Again by paperclipbitch - Ianto Jones, in his crisp pinstripe suit, the remains of a black eye still mildew-green on his face, frowns a little at Owen Harper and says: “Have we met before?” [Owen/Ianto]

No Sense Of Direction by paperclipbitch - After Gwen finally leaves Owen, Ianto is left to try and pick up the pieces. [Owen/Ianto. Link goes to the last chapter of the series, which has links to the previous chapters]

Beautiful Lies by remuslives23 - "Truth is beautiful, without a doubt; but so are lies." Ianto and Jack after the events of the Lost Souls radio play.

Shooting The Messenger by salmon-pink - Jack gives the orders, Ianto obeys, and Owen thinks that maybe everyone has lost their minds, himself included. [Owen/Ianto PWP]

All The Stars In The Sky by lasersforeyes - Sometime after the end of Jack's world, he meets meets someone familiar in an unfamiliar place, and realizes that somehow, things just keep going.

The Dominant Line Between Life And Death by ladyflowdi - In the space of a heartbeat, between the rhythmic pulse of life itself, Ianto’s world is split in two. There is only the Before and the After, the Once Was and Is Now, as if someone has cut him right down the middle, a perfect sagittal seam that has equal parts guts, eyes, and heart. He is coexisting with himself, and the other Ianto won’t stop screaming.

Passing Currents by feathereddino - Gwen assists with clean-up after a case is finished. [This fic is pretty Gwen-bashy/old school fic Gwen characterisation, but the rest of the concept and other characterisations are so fun and spot on that I want to rec it.]

No Word For Yes by copperbadge - Someday he will have a Jack-to-English dictionary. Though it will contain more than just the words, he supposes. And be unsuitable for children.

Life Lived Without Thinking by pocketmouse - While exploring the lower levels, Ianto steps through a doorway, and disappears into blackness. [Owen/Ianto, ish]

Roses In December by remuslives23 - Memories of better times assailed him, snippets of his life ticking over in his mind like flashes of scenes from a film, faster and faster until he couldn't breathe then the floodgates flew open, and he couldn't stop the crippling pain from bending him in two.

Management Of Dead Bodies In Disaster Situations: A Field Manual by heddychaa - Darragh Edmonds is a so-called "disaster specialist". Called to the site of tsunamis, earth quakes, floods, terrorist attacks, he takes up the grim task of putting order to human remains, and he does it well. Cleaning up after a biological attack on Thames House should make for a comparatively easy day for Darragh: after all, the bodies of Thames House have even been so considerate as to pile themselves right at the front door for him. That is, until he's sworn to secrecy and sent, alone, to collect two bodies from the building's eerie top floor.

Confluence by cmdr_spadge - Once Lisa is dead, it's Owen who decides what to do with Ianto.

Interstitial by sholio - They jostled around each other for a while, bouncing off each other's sharp and broken edges—and then they started to fit, like puzzle pieces that couldn't click together until they found just the right angle. [Owen/Ianto]

do not go gentle by someawkwardprose - His hands were shaking. Lisa was dead. They’d killed her, the whole bloody team, and he hated them. Lisa was dead, and he wasn’t.

Simile by echo - After being trapped, beaten, terrified, and deprived of sleep, Ianto is desperate to get away from the activity surrounding the village. Unfortunately, with a concussion and any number of unknown injuries, that's not really a good idea.

Separated by AuthorInDistress - When the Toclafane attack during the 'Year That Never Was', Owen and Ianto survive that hell together.

C12H22O11 by Jane St Claire - Sometimes things turn up right in the Hub. It's a big time-saver. [A creature falls through the rift. It might be more than what it seems.]

Writing The Truth In Blue by pecos - The glimpse of a pink dress shirt in the rubbish skip was enough tweak Jack’s curiosity. What he eventually found led him to realize what he was about to lose forever.

I also have a number of old deleted classics saved, stuff by rcmclachlan (I just have From Which Come All Things, which is the important one imo), rexluscus, and lawford, and a few others, so if you're an old fan and want those, dm me!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm still not over how Jimin put the song 'I Might' by Honne on his 'Jimin Springtime Sounds' playlist earlier last year that talks about two people moving to Tokyo and starting a whole new life there together, away from the craziness of their current ones, and then he went there with Jungkook later the same year. Wild if you ask me

***

This is the kind of jikook ‘coincidence’ that makes people go delulu post haste.

Because what the fuck?

When Jimin’s Apple Music playlist first went up, I thought it was cool Jimin had such interesting taste in music. The ‘I Might’ pick stood out because it was a solid song choice and RM featured on Honne’s Crying Over You, the original of which is on the same album as I Might. It’s one of the best collaboration projects RM/BTS has ever done.

But I didn’t make the jikook connection until you just mentioned it.

Jikook….

Normally I’d write it off as mere coincidence that jikook travelled alone to Tokyo again, presumably for work, and it sorta lines up with the lyrics of that song. And I mean, it’s 2024, it’s kinda passé to still read meaning into lyrics from song recommendations. At least, that’s what I assumed.

But then again… jikook and coincidences are a curious thing.

It’s possible jikook had envisioned enlisting together since the start of last year, and planned their itinerary backwards, fitting in their Tokyo trip late last year as well. The knowledge that they could’ve chosen to enlist together as early as spring 2023, it…

jikook are special.

[simpforchuchu]

The Request: @fi-fi19 Hi ! Can you do nakagoshi × a reader who have an eating dis****order, please ( cute one ) and Reiji×a reader who self ha***rm , please! Don't turn me down, I've been waiting for so long to ask this request and thank you .

Don’t hide anything from me | Nakagoshi x reader / Reiji x reader

a/n: Hello, thank you for your request 🙏🏻 I hope you like your fic ☺️🫡 It is all fluffy and soft 😭 I hope you like it 🌸💕

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: mention of eating disorders, mention of self harm

Nakagoshi x reader

Nakagoshi was watching his girlfriend carefully as they walked home. She looked away from him and smiled often, but he knew that this smile was a forced one.

No his girlfriend had done nothing wrong, no she still loved him. But what she was hiding hurt Nakagoshi deeply.

When they arrived in front of her house, the young girl turned to her boyfriend and smiled.

“Thank you for walking me home”

Nakagoshi smiled and put his hands in his pockets

“Are you sure you're not hungry? You haven't eaten anything."

Nakagoshi's smile fell as Y/n shook her head quickly.

“Y/n…why are you lying to me?”

When Y/n looked at her boyfriend in surprise, the young boy reached out his hand and took his girlfriend's hand. Nakagoshi was a very caring boyfriend, apart from the cold impression he showed on the outside.

“You don't eat anything near me or outside. You don't even eat all day. But you always say you're not hungry.” The young boy took a deep breath. "What's the problem ? Can't you eat when people are around?”

Y/n knew her boyfriend was aware of something. She just didn't think she could tell him that. She had lost weight rapidly and was determined not to gain that weight again. And she didn't care about her health.

“I… I'm not really hungry. I'm also eating-“

"When ? You're with me all day, y/n. I know the snack packets in your bag. You starve until you faint and then eat them, right?”

The young girl objected with fear

“No, not at all!”

Although Nakagoshi looked at his girlfriend in surprise for a few seconds at her rising voice, he could understand why she was panicking. When he and y/n started dating y/n always thought she was overweight. That's why she often said she was trying to lose weight. Even though he noticed that the young girl was getting thinner over time, he didn't say anything because she looked happy, but he couldn't ignore her disregard for her health.

“I won't ask what you did or didn't do. You don't have to tell me, but I care about you. I love you y/n. That's why I want us both to be healthy.”

Nakagoshi smiled as the young girl silently looked at her boyfriend's face

“From now on, we will eat together, if you want, we can do exercise together. But I won't let you starve, okay?”

The young boy was confident, and y/n trusted him even though she didn't know what would happen…

***

Reiji x reader

The young girl looked at the itchy scratches on her arm and sighed. The wounds on her wrist were itchy and red from scratching. And the material of the sweater she was wearing made her even more uncomfortable.

While she was scratching her arm, Reiji, who was watching her from a distance, raised one eyebrow, trying to understand what his girlfriend was doing. He first thought it was a mosquito bite, but the long-sleeved sweater she wore in this hot weather made her suspicious.

When he entered the door of the cafe and walked to the table where his girlfriend was sitting, the young girl raised her head and looked at the person approaching her. When Reiji smiled and looked at his girlfriend, the young girl panicked, quickly covered her arm with the sleeve of her sweater and stood up.

Reiji became even more suspicious when the young girl smiled nervously and opened her arms. He was sure she was hiding something from him but still chose to hug her first

“Sorry I'm late”

Y/n shook her head and smiled.

“It's okay, you're always late”

Reiji was sure there was no reproach in her voice, he smiled and sat down at the table. He listened to the young girl's day for a while and asked her what she was doing. But the question in his mind did not leave him alone. When he reached out his hand and touched the young girl's hand, he quickly frowned when he saw that she was startled.

“Y/n? What's the problem?"

The young girl laughed nervously

“I was just startled for a moment, it's okay.”

Reiji, of course, didn't believe it. He was sure that she was hiding something from him. He didn't want to upset her, but he didn't like her lying to him either. Before the young girl could even pull her hand away, he held her hand tightly and rolled up the sleeve of her sweater in one move.

Y/n couldn't even react. While Reiji looked at the cuts on the young girl's forearm in surprise, y/n took her hand away.

“I… I have to go.”

"You are not going any where."

When the young girl stood up, Reiji spoke in a calm voice. He didn't want to scare her, but they needed to talk about this problem.

“I don't want you to go anywhere without telling me what's going on. What's the point of me being your boyfriend, y/n, if you can't even share with me what makes you hurt yourself?"

When the young girl's eyes filled with tears, Reiji quickly hugged her. He whispered while gently caressing the young girl's hair.

“I'm not a good person but I'm definitely not a bad boyfriend… I love you so much y/n and I will do anything to protect you.”

Himuro Reiji was a scary person, but y/n had never been afraid of him. Because she knew that her boyfriend would be there against everything that scared her...

HnL taglist : @straysugzhpe @tiddly-winx @ninamarie1994 @emperorsnero @koala-yuna @little-miss-naill

[koodless]

Fire and Elec headcanons saved because I think about them a lot. Some sweet stuff, some sad stuff. Also, I yap a LOT in this so I'm sorry if stuff doesn't make sense or repeats itself:

When they were first built/waking up, of course, Light tested each one to ensure they functioned well before the big reveal.

I'd like to imagine Fire is right there next to Elec waiting for him to wake up. It might be that he senses Elec is sleeping (gathering code and waiting til it's done to wake up for testing) and keeps to the side and stays by his side when he first wakes up. It's kind of like making sure that he's alright and not alone (personally I imagine both robots had to wake up separated, Fire and Bombs, since they’re explosive together, and Fire not understanding anything when he wakes up alone and stuck in a chamber with powers that can heat things instantly.) (Elec is also last in the line next to Fire and Bomb and idk i just think Fire suddenly is drawn in his programming to make sure Elec is ok once he sees him a month later)

Not wanting a friend to wake up alone like he did

Poor Light has to reassure Fire that Elec is in fact ok. It's like he saw Elec tubed up and thought “What happened? Does this robot require medical attention?”

I imagine Elec can't touch water, other than cold surfaces or some small precipitation. If he touches water then it can shock him or the surrounding area. That's why when he cries, it's hard for him to wipe it away. He shocked himself before and left a few tear marks behind. Also, he's supposed to be the confident and cool role, why would he cry or have the ability to cry? He thinks to himself. Fire meanwhile reaches over and wipes the tears away, and it feels like a warm mist over his face. Elecs face is super red afterward.

I mentioned in another post that Robot Masters can have dreams and thus bad dreams based on the memories they have saved or experienced (memories saved in RMs can appear in dreams depending on what they are, like deja vu or stress/ terror they experienced).

Fire Man can't sleep well if he has a bad dream, particularly one that he is under control and stressed to attack others. Elec stays with him all night, talking about the better memories he has saved or telling him he’s not that kind of robot at all.

Elec has bad dreams too, as part of being their group's team leader, he has ones where the others are in danger. A really bad nightmare was when he found Fire badly injured, so badly broken, he could feel his core weakening. On another side headcanon, Elec can hear and oftentimes gets overwhelmed by the influx of electricity around him. From power generators to other Robot Masters. He could feel Fire dying at that moment and he woke up freaked out that Fire still isn’t able to keep power; he was that scared.

They have both asked each other to stay the night after those moments just so they don’t wake up alone again.

Afterward, they get comfortable being in each other's space, whether it's how close they are or just talking about whatever/ working through their emotions

On their friend meetings (dates) after work, I imagine them getting different types of human foods to consume other than their traditional foods. They’ll pick up some food they’re curious about to try as they sit on the empty rooftops to watch the stars. Do silly food reviews of “I heard about these sour worms you might like them…” or “wanna try a REALLY spicy pizza?”

Elec came home late in the rain once, trying to make it in time for Rock’s birthday party. He had come home tracking in mud, something Roll did not like. After that whole bit, Fire just said, “Come on Elec, I’ll warm you up” and showed him how to square dance, going slow and dancing around the room.

“Red, I don’t know how to dance, I'm not a dancer!” “Well, call me a teacher cuz I'm teachin’ you!”

Elec saved those moments, of them laughing when they stomped on each other's foot or bumped into something. He comes back acting coy, saying with a small smirk “Listen Red, I think I might’ve forgotten a step in that little dance you showed me earlier. Can you show me again, how did it go?”

NICKNAMES– Elec called Fire, Red (because he’s always as red as a tomato) and Fire calls Elec, Eleki, or darlin’

One of Elec’s favorite things about Fire: is his dimples, freckles, and face. He doesn't get to see them as much! He also likes the sound of Fire’s core, the way it doesn’t sound overcharged but a calm, humming furnace.

Fire’s favorite thing about Elec: he can't choose. It would be one thing, but then it ties into another, and soon enough, he just thinks about revisiting Elec at work.

He will hold the other’s face and watch Elec’s cheeks flush because his hands are constantly warm.

Fire’s love language to me is mostly physical touch/ affection, so he can pass out hugs, and pat/ scratch your back. Elec, when he's comfortable, won't stop talking and will talk for hours about a niche topic and gets to be goofy.

Elec, since he is working himself overtime constantly, tends to fall asleep in random places or doze off. He argues with Fire that he’s fine until he falls asleep because he’s in the comfort of others.

A big BIG believer in the “person a fell in love, person b fell harder” trope between them (and between other robots)

They haven’t had a first kiss really 🫣just moments where they snuggle and Fire dabbles kisses on Elec’s face or Elec smooches Fire’s hand. If they were to ever have their first kiss, Elec would do it first. Fire to me is like the encouraging, loving type, does the little things just to encourage or to make the other comfortable. Elec meanwhile has cuteness aggression and even if he has to have the courage to face dangers, why does he still feel butterflies and gets nervous when Fire smiles at him?

He’d be like “Oh I forgot to do something,” “Forgot to do what?” then give Fire a smooch and watch as Fire explodes before his eyes like a supernova.

Elec got sick with a virus over winter (much to his dismay, a robot suffering a cold!) and Fire brought soup (with the twins' help) and cuddled up next to him. Elec jokingly said “You know humans stay away from each other if they get sick. Aren't you scared I'll get you sick with my germs?” “No, I want to be with you either way, so I don't mind if you get me sick.”

Fire indubitably got sick afterward

Fire always makes sure Elec doesn’t overwork himself when they go their separate way for their job sites.

Occasional accident of elec zapping fires hand or fire forgetting he’s cooking elec as he places his head under his chin, but such mistakes they’ll laugh and try again

The others can automatically see how much they like each other before they do.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Mini & Moni Music was... interesting, kind of concerning? We really know so little about the members - especially if you're like me and don't watch all the lives and documentaries, and read every book or interview. Even if I did all that, though, I wouldn't know much. The more honest they are, the more obvious it is they're "hiding" so much from us and how little we know them. This honesty unintentionally increases the disconnect between us and them, throwing every memory of them in a different light. A lot of the intimacy we feel/felt isn't real because, sometimes, when they look happy they're actually struggling while we enjoy ourselves and their "happiness".

The thing about RM for me is I've struggled to understand him, even if I probably have more in common with him than other members. The way he expresses himself is very opaque to me. I lack the sensibility, or context, I guess, to understand his thought process.

This special content between Jimin and Namjoon was a bit sad. RM doesn't seem happy. Every year, I feel like he reveals that he wasn't happy in the previous year. Has there been any year where Namjoon didn't suddenly reveal he'd been struggling? Because last year he made it seem as if he'd been doing pretty well, and I guess he was better at some point, while working on RPWP, but he'd been having a really rough time. Hearing him say he had to distance himself from BTS in order to heal (I think in 2023, after Indigo, but also applies to chapter 2 in general?) and Jimin saying the members thought he liked them less now... was sad.

RM really had(s) been struggling with the group. I know Hobi really wanted a chance to do something solo, but Festa dinner still feels mostly like it was brought on by Namjoon. I'm pretty sure Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, Suga, and V would've been fine carrying on with group activities with little to no solo activities, and Hobi only wanted a chance to do something different, not necessarily a big break from the group (I think; I haven't watched a lot of chapter 2 solo content, maybe I'm wrong). But RM was truly "done", to the point where the members felt him pulling away from them... RM popping up during one of Jungkook's live and their whole interaction kind of takes on a new meaning. Jungkook had been really happy to talk to Namjoon, and Namjoon said he missed Jungkook and that they needed to hang out. At the time maybe RM had already created distance between himself and the members so they missed each other a lot and there was a kind of uncertainty in their relationship.

I believe in BTS, but this content has made RM, the leader, seem the least excited about BTS, which may be untrue - contradictory and conflicted feelings can coexist. I kind of became concerned about how they'll return as a group (and what that will sound like...) if RM just looks so burnt out and even regretful about many things in their past (like his seriousness before). I know that each member struggled a lot, and for every hard moment there is a good one RM remembers, but I hope that when he comes back he learns how to enjoy being in the group again (or maybe for the first time; maybe he never really knew how to love the group without feeling weighted down by it). Like he says, RM speaks for the group. Most of Festa seems like him speaking for the group while the group itself didn't share his feelings completely but wanted to support him. It's ironic because RM said he feared that the group only represented his thoughts and not the group's, but I really want to know what the other members think. Suga, for example, has always blamed their hiatus on the enlistment, whereas Namjoon has made it clear that wasn't the main reason.

I don't know, I know the group has been through a lot, including the time they almost disbanded (I say almost, but how close were they, truly? Thinking heavily about something and having the intention of doing it are quite different), but this made me lose confidence in the group a bit, at least in RM. In the eyes of the members he's equated to BTS, but it seems like he's drifted apart from them. That's life, but as a fan it was hard to hear. Maybe they all feel the same, and I'm putting it all on Namjoon... This conversation with Jimin was very negative, but that's not the whole truth, and I shouldn't forget that.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

can you do if bts members would date a fan or non fan or not into dating at all? thanks very much, im also curious if for yoongi if you can add how he feels about his fans saying yoongi marry them and his parents seem to want yoongi to marry but for some people its their choice not too and i think as long as hes happy with whatever hes doing people kinda expect him or any bts member to want to date and find their fs and next partner but i think theres some members who arent fussed really. also how do they each feel about people who claim to be their fs / next partner? thank u again!

I would suggest they don't date a fan tbh, but let's see what the cards say. Intuitively I feel none would want to, but let's see. I am just answering the dating a fan one for now. I don't really understand the last one, or not sure I can answer that question.

Jin (Judgment/9 of Swords) No, it would be stressful, and he understands that isn't a right decision to do so.

Suga (3 of Wands/Judgment) Going with no, he might think about it from time to time, but I don't see him doing it, because he understands that can be a problem. I can him understanding the power imbalance of it, that they would probably idolize them and not treat him like a person.

Jhope (7 of Wands/The Magician) He might be open to it. Weird message, but now I am seeing no, how I see these cards is he may try to put up defenses against fans that may try to manifest him into their lives, like this does happen, fans try to manifest their favorite celebs into their lives, this has been done, I believe Hailey Bieber with Justin and Katie Holmes with Tom Cruise has done it, from what I heard, just rumours, but making a point. I have seen others do it too and he tries to defend against it, how, don't know, but that is what I interpret here Funny message, but creepy that people do that, sorry, but just manifest a good man into your life, rather than a celebrity. But do you.

RM (3 of Wands/Queen of Wands) The Queen of Wands again! I don't know about him. Maybe with him, which is wild to me. I mean he may find fans attractive, but I don't see him doing anything about it actually.

Jimin (2 of Cups/Knight of Wands) Omg, yes he would. These are two strong indicator cards of yes lol

V (Ace of Wands/The Hierophant) I feel it is for more sexual reasons than dating. I feel the company may have intervened from time to time. Why do I feel what he does is monitored, like they know he can be a bit promiscuous. This is interesting.

Jungkook (10 of Swords/5 of Wands) No, it can get messy if he does. I see him feeling like they wouldn't like him for him, but his celebrity.

[madridfangirl]

Madridistas <> Mbappe

I'm seeing a lot of 'how can you be a Madrid fan & criticise Mbappe / not support him blindly' and 'his first season so needs more time' and 'he's not playing at LW' etc etc etc etc etc.

Wanted to address those once and for all. Here goes:

The stunt Mbappe pulled in 2022, of backing out at the last minute and embarrassing us publically was unforgivable in my book. We should have cut the chord then & there. He chose to stay at PSG for 6 years for MONEY, yet claims Madrid was always his dream club. Bullshit. United was throwing a ton of money at Ronaldo but he always told them he wanted to leave. They tried getting him back so many times but he stayed for the shirt. That's called having a dream club. What Mbappe did was plain and simple opportunistic behaviour. Not saying RM wasn't his dream but his greed was bigger than his dream. Fans haven't forgotten that. He needed to do 2x of someone else to win back the trust and love of our fans.

Another common excuse - Rodrygo kept missing chances last season but did not get the backlash that Kylian is getting. Again, bullshit. Rodrygo was never this shit. He has produced some magical moments in the Madrid shirt so fans can forgive more also. His work-rate & effort is much higher. And - to put it very blunty - he's not the superstar galactico that Kylian was supposed to be. Kylian, Vini and Jude are a different level of superstars right now compared to the rest of the team. Expectations are just higher from them.

His performance has been shit this season, we all know that. It's like he's regressed 10 years. But more than that - his attitude is what pisses me off even more. Look at the last so called 'apology' post and compared that to Fede's - you can see the genuine heart in one and a name-sake formality in the other. The sense of entitlement is pissing me off. 'I'll show who I am'?? Show it on the pitch, show that you even care instead of walking around. These words have no heart or meaning behind them.

Now, despite all this, the Bernabeu is singing and chanting his name (while he should be booed to the ground). If that's not support (undeserving), then what is?

Anyone else would have been benched by now. But he is costing us by being on the pitch.

He was supposed to be the heir to Ronaldo? Well Ronaldo would have lambasted this primadonna attitude so early in the season. He would not have stood for this lack of passion / effort.

So his defenders can go take a hike please. He has done nothing, NOTHING, to deserve any support from us. Infact, he deserves 10x the criticism and repercussions he's getting right now.

[fixoffzz]

It all started with you

Stalker!Mingi x f!reader

Authors note | hey y'all this is part 2 BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHGAHAHAHA last part tho I made this while my phone is on 67%🙈 so uhm ha & English isn't my first language so pls stand w me now Last part🐒

Warnings: Fluff, and smut IF YOU SQIUNT VERY VERY HARD & some angst, mentions of se!lf h@rm,

Edit : IVE READED THIS FANFIC AND CORRECTED THE SPELLING MISTAKES BEAR WITH ME BRO IM A FRNEHCIE…

body dysmorphia, stalking etc

Part 2!!

💐 part 1!

Word count : 1,090😖😖

“ y/n please I’ll explain I’ll explain “ mingi had been saying that for the past 15 minutes it seems like he was under some type of spell. Mingi had been so afraid of losing you he couldn’t bear the sight to see you in pain.. 

Mingi never believed in love at first sight no no that was dumb.. until he met you, everything started with you everything. Mingi figuring he likes punk music ( because of you ) mingi starts to like black panther ( because of you ) mingi got into making music and rapping ( because of you ) every single one of mingi’s interests came from you, it all started with you..! 

Ever since that fateful day back in 7th grade mingis life took a turn. I mean yeah he got so obsessed with you that he became your stalker, fan, everything.. In the 8th grade mingi had convinced his mom to drop him at Walmart so he could accidentally run into you ( he had your location on his phone he knew where you were and who you were with.. ) He even gifted you a teddy bear with hidden cameras in the eyes for your 14th birthday ( of course you kept it where he could get a good look of your room but you never knew you just kept it on a shelf being grateful of everything and anything ) 

Mingi calmed down and explained everything & and anything that made you have unclarity or confusion ( I mean you wanted to ask how he knew you passed out but you just enjoyed the time… ) “ Y/n I’m sorry I’m sorry for this all, you know when u got invited to that party with yunho i met aeri. She was everything a regular teenage freak boy would want. She was pretty, nice body, she had friends, she was popular too. I mean any boy would want her but mingi didn’t want her no he wanted you.. all he wanted was you… but mingi knew that if he wanted you he had to change himself he thought that if he changed himself he would get a chance with you.. ( but you already loved him since you first saw him but he didn’t know.. ) 

He accepted Aeri's terms. That's when everything went downhill, for the next couple of months or weeks Wtv.. he hung out with aeri I mean aeri was nice and kind but still he wanted you. He had envy jaehyun because he had gotten to go on the vacation with you, you guys met jaehyun and soyeon in the 10th grade and clicked. Mingi and Yunho both knew that jaehyun had feelings for you.. it was clear as the blue skies only you couldn’t tell, all this time you thought jaehyun was just being nice..  

When mingi came back and the school year had started he gained popularity not just with the boys with the girls too, he had some fangirls ngl mingi had easily feeded into this lifestyle but he almost forgot why he did it in the first place.. it was for you, again it all started with you everything started with you.. When he saw you in the hallways linking arms with jaehyun he felt angry, jealous he couldn’t keep his emotions intact he wanted to hurt you, that’s why he made a bet, he made a bet on you.. the last thing he would’ve have done on planet earth

Mingi knew what effect this would have on you, you were the sensitive type, the type to get your feelings hurt way to easily. He knew everything about you, Your self harm journey, Your suicidal thoughts and feeling about yourself. Your insecurities, he knew everything about you 

more than you could ever imagine..  He had promised to protect you but he figured out he was the one keeping you in danger, that time at the court yard when jaehyun held you.. mingi swore he had seen red… and he felt that again when he saw you unconscious. 

Unconscious and your wrist.. w-w-were  bleeding.. he didn’t know how to react or feel in that moment, he was watching you through the teddy bear and rushed over as soon as he saw you on the floor.. He regretted everything he had always regretted everything he started regretting when he met aeri… 

As mingi was finished explaining, you couldn’t stop the tears that became like waterfalls as soon as he started explaining himself. Mingi was always the sensitive type but he hid it.. he thought it made him weak without knowing it made me stronger, After he finished explaining everything you held his chin in your hand everything became slow. You stared into his dark, warm, homey feeling eyes.. Then his pink soft big lips kissed you.

Everything in that moment stopped. It felt like you and him together alone without a single care in the world. The kiss started soft but then turned messy with mingi climbing on top of you and your legs wrapping around his waist. He started grinding into you softly moans escaping his lips coming into yours, you could feel the vibration and tension between you and him. You stopped him, causing him to groan out..

“ Mingi, let’s figure this out together .” You said softly to him he looked at you ( he made the freaking 🥺 face ) “ Y/n I’m sorry I’m sorry for everything I don’t wanna be friends I wanna be more than friends I’ve always liked you but I was too scared to even talk or say anything I wanted to change for you so you could see me. “ he said softly “ mingi I’ve always liked you but you never had to change my love “ my love ha that made his heart run a marathon.

He pulled you into a cuddle and you two slept off away.. 

3 months later 

After everything went down you and mingi started dating, even though soyeon was pissed and wooyoung didn’t know if he should trust his friend again they let it go and put the past behind them. Of course mingi apologized to everyone, all the kids at school saw you 2 holding hands and walking happily down the hallways, aeri tried to break you guys up but it didn’t work sooner or later she gave up tired of it all of course she was still angry I mean she did make mingi into the person he was today.. 

No aeri didn’t make mingi into the person he was today, he did and you did because again.. 

It all started with you.

[justthemis124]

My opinion on "Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez story" PART II

Hello everyone! I'm back for the second part of my opinion on the show "Monsters". If you haven't read the first part, go check it out right here :)

III. THE PORTRAYAL OF THE PARENTS

If I previously talked about the brothers’ portrayal in part 1, I also have a LOT of things to say about how the parents were portrayed.

Like I mentioned in part 1, I do believe that Ryan Murphy produced the show with the idea in mind that Erik and Lyle were liars. So, ultimately, it wasn’t that surprising to see that José and Kitty (in my opinion) weren't exactly portrayed as the monsters they truly were.

First things first, I would like to address the very last scene of the show, when they are on the boat shark fishing. In all honesty, I really did not understand that scene and the reasoning behind putting it at the very end. The feeling that I got when this scene came on was that, somehow the show was trying to depict José and Kitty as a nice couple that was trying to overcome their past difficulties, a depiction that I, obviously, absolutely hate. In my mind, it was just so weird to put that one scene at the end, after everything. You know what they've done, who they really are, and still there is that clip of them as a happy married couple spending the afternoon on a boat. If anyone has any insight or an opinion on that scene please don't hesitate to leave a comment!

Now there is one main episode where we get to see a lot of José and Kitty, and that's episode 7 when Kitty is seeing a therapist. She proceeds to talk about how Erik and Lyle scare her and don't care about her at all. In my opinion, this is just a sickening stunt of Ryan Murphy to try and get us to have empathy towards the parents. And I truly felt that this specific episode was just full of moments like this, moments that depict Erik and Lyle as spoiled kids, undeserving of what they have and not appreciative towards the parents. While Kitty and José are shown as parents trying their best, giving their kids everything they ask for, but ultimately powerless against the anger and ungratefulness that their children hold against them. No need for me to explain how such a representation of literal child m*lesters is extremely dangerous.

In that episode we also learn that, apparently, José was also m*lested by his parents when he was a child. Now I did some research on that because I was quite shocked to hear that in the show, because I don't remember hearing that anywhere. Now I wasn't able to find anything, so if anyone has any informations on that please leave a comment! Because here's the thing, my fear is that RM might have lied about this part to try and justify the abuse that Erik and Lyle suffered from José, which, if that's the case, I genuinely have no words to describes how vile, sick and straight up psychopathic it is. So again if anyone has any information about that, please leave a comment!

IV. THE ACTORS' PERFORMANCES

Having said everything that I said up until now, I wanted to dedicate a part to the actors' performance and all the work that they put into it.

I mentioned at the end of the first part, that all this criticism was directed at Ryan Murphy and not at the actors, because at the end of the day, actors have to follow a script and do the best they can with the instructions that they've been given. So If we forget for a second everything that's wrong with this show, I think it's important to salute the incredible performances that Cooper Koch (Erik Menendez) and Nicholas Alexander Chavez (Lyle Menendez) gave us. As we've seen before, yes, the portrayal of Lyle was not accurate at all and quite defamatory, but still as an actor, Nicholas did an amazing job. Especially during the trials scene, when he is taking the stand, that seems to be the only accurate thing they got of Lyle.

Of course I have to mention episode 5, where Cooper Koch delivered an outstanding and heartbreaking performance in a 35 minutes monologue in one single take. It almost brought me to tears, and for me this is one of the few scenes that does the brothers justice. I also have to mention Cooper Koch's involvement with the actual case, you all probably know this by now but he went to visit Erik Menendez in prison, he said that they had a long conversation, that they hugged and Cooper told him that he was standing with them (Erik and Lyle) and that he believed them. He also told Erik that he did everything he could to try and portray him as best as possible. And I'm so happy that at least one person of the project actually understood what it truly meant to do this show.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, I can only express disappointment and disgust towards this show. I was really pumped at its announcement and couldn't wait to see it. Because for me, the name "monsters" was obviously directed towards the parents, but then I saw that it was actually for the brothers and I really couldn't believe it. And no amount of billboards trying to turn this around with "are they monsters?" can make up for anything (see below).

As you all probably know by now, a Netflix documentary about the brothers and their perspective is coming out on Monday 7th October, and after that show I am glad Netflix gave them a chance to express themselves.

Alright guys that was it for my opinion on the show, I hope you liked it! Again if there is anything you disagree with or if you'd like to add something, another point of view or another insight please do and leave a comment! Thanks to everyone who read this post all the way to the end!

See you in the next post!

FREE THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS

[hoonfication]

. . . TWO TIMES A CH✶RM

━━━ 「 drinks and feelings 」

BEFORE YOU READ this chapter contains mentions of alcohol if not comfortable click away

“[name] stop checking twitter, everyone was bound to find out they broke up” xiangling told as she passed you an open beer can “thanks” you mumbled as you placed your phone to the side, the four of you are currently at xiangling’s dorm luckily you guys could come over because xiangling’s roommate is out of town

“it’s not your fault, don’t be so hard on yourself” hu tao suddenly spoke “i mean- did aether even say it was your fault they broke up?” she added, you slowly shook your head “no, but it was obvious!” you said in an annoyed tone

“xiao definitely still has feelings for you” xingqui blurted “that’s probably the reason they broke up” he shrugged “they broke up because of me! aether probably thinks me and xiao are going out behind his back!” you expressed “but aether has got it all wrong because I don’t even see xiao like that!” you added

“are you sure?” hu tao asked “sure? about what?” you asked confused “you not seeing xiao like that” she said “are you sure?” she asked again “of course I am..” you mumbled sounding unsure, feeling unsure

— ✶ prev | m.list | next

NOTES | since I’m done destroying xiaother I’m going for albedo x [name] now ☺️

# IN WHICH — xiao, your boyfriend for three years suddenly breaks up with you through text and then leaves the country leaving you with no explanation at all three years had passed and here you are, you tell yourself you're over him and you're way more happy without him until you've heard that he's back oh that's fine you guys aren't even gonna see each other anyway wrong. seems like he's going to attend the same college as you and well you're just in luck turns out he's also your roommate

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