#REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS you lunatics

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Jesse Duquette

* * * * *

TRUMP SEEMED HAVE HAD SOME SORT OF...EPISODE AT A RALLY IN NEW JERSEY

TCINLA

MAY 13, 2024

From Charles P. Pierce at the Esquire Politics Blog:

Over the weekend, the de facto Republican presidential candidate gave a speech in New Jersey in which he sounded like a raving lunatic. To wit:

“Al Capone was so mean that if you went to dinner with him and he didn’t like you, you’d be dead the next morning. And I got indicted more than him. On bullshit, too. Just bullshit.” “The enemies from within are more dangerous to me than the enemies on the outside. Russia and China we can handle, but these lunatics within our government that are going to destroy our country, we have to get it stopped. They’re not on the right; they’re on the left.” “Fat Alvin, corrupt guy.” “You could take the ten worst presidents in the history of our country and add them up...and they haven’t done the damage to our country that this total moron has done. He’s a fool; he’s not a smart man. He never was. He was considered stupid. I talk about him differently now because now the gloves are off. He’s a bad guy…he’s the worst president ever, of any country. The whole world is laughing at him; he’s a fool.” “They’re emptying out their mental institutions into the United States, our beautiful country. And now the prison populations all over the world are down. They don’t want to report that the mental-institution population is down because they’re taking people from insane asylums and from mental institutions.” “Has anyone ever seen The Silence of the Lambs? The late, great Hannibal Lecter. He’s a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? ‘Excuse me, I’m about to have a friend for dinner,’ as this poor doctor walked by. ‘I’m about to have a friend for dinner.’ But Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations. The late, great Hannibal Lecter. We have people that have been released into our country that we don’t want in our country, and they’re coming in totally unchecked, totally unvetted. And we can’t let this happen. They’re destroying our country, and we’re sitting back and we better damn well win this election, because if we don’t, our country is going to be doomed. It’s going to be doomed.”

(Not to be pedantic, but the fictional Mr. Lecter is still fictionally alive, and not fictionally dead. He has accomplished this despite, you know, not being a real person.)

The only story to be written about this event is that a huge crowd gathered to see and hear the presumptive presidential candidate have some sort of episode in public. That is a major news story. Half the electorate has turned into a banana farm. The following, from The New York Times, is not the way to do this.

But if Mr. Trump’s speech largely consisted of what has become his standard fare, the setting stood out. Though New Jersey has voted for Democratic presidential candidates in every election since 1992, and Mr. Trump lost the state by double-digit margins in both 2016 and 2020, he insisted that he could win there in November. “We’re expanding the electoral map, because we are going to officially play in the state of New Jersey,” Mr. Trump said to a packed crowd on the beach. “We’re going to win the state of New Jersey.”

Neither is this.

Mr. Trump, who once owned casinos in Atlantic City, N.J., and who often spends summers at his golf club in Bedminster, N.J., has been publicly bullish on his chances in New Jersey for months. Political experts, and even some of his advisers, are skeptical. Still, parts of the state are deeply conservative, including the area around Wildwood, a boardwalk town on the southern end of the Jersey Shore and a beach destination popular with working-class families. Many visitors come from Pennsylvania, a battleground state that backed Mr. Trump in 2016 but swung to Mr. Biden in 2020.

And, finally, this isn’t, either.

Against the backdrop of classic Americana, Mr. Trump repeated his typical criticism that Mr. Biden’s economic policies were hurting the middle class. With an amusement park operating rides in the background, he insisted that only he could preserve the summer shore tradition. “The choice for New Jersey and Pennsylvania is simple,” Mr. Trump said, telling supporters to vote for him if they wanted “lower costs, higher income and more weekends down at the shore.” (The area’s locals usually say “down the shore,” but judging by the cheers of the crowd, the point was well received.) The rally was a stark contrast to the scene at the Manhattan courthouse, where proceedings are more sober and Mr. Trump’s comments are limited to remarks to reporters before he enters and leaves the courtroom.

This is normalization that ought to be taught in journalism schools as an example of what never to do. And the comparisons drawn between Trump in Court and Trump on the Stump are dangerously facile. His criminal trial isn’t just another bump on the campaign trail, like a freak snowstorm in Iowa or a washed-out bridge in New Hampshire. The odds are better than 50–50 that the presumptive Republican presidential candidate will be a convicted criminal going into his party’s convention. That’s a black-swan event in American history, and it ought to be covered like one every day.

My comment:

A.G. Sulzberger is proving every day that the private ownership of a public service like the New York Times makes as much sense as allowing one of the billionaire class to own the local water supply.

[whitehotharlots]

3 reasons AI might actually take over (even though it sucks)

I appreciate the handful of writers who have attempted to push back against the inane and zealous tide of AI boosterism. Some have pointed out, correctly, that the recent slew of AI puff pieces are no less fraudulent than the Cryptomania of the early 2020′s, or the complete bullshit assertions that we’re perpetually just a year or two away from self-driving cars becoming a reality. Others have pointed that AI simply doesn’t work very well: anyone who claims we’re on the cusp of robots replacing actual human communication is either a moron or a lunatic.

The trouble is, this country is run by morons and lunatics. A new technology need not be good or functional in order to become a part of our daily lives and transform our social fabric. It only needs funding and enthusiasm. 

Here are three reasons why some sort of AI takeover might actually be inevitable, regardless of the quality of its output or the disastrous effects it may wreak upon our culture:

1. Grant Funding: anything that might hypothetically bring down labor costs will receive massive amounts of public and private grant funding.  The grift goes like this: dimwitted academics and thinktank writers whitewash the horrible effects of the new tech and overinflate its potential worth, and in exchange they get money. Very simple. These grants are awarded solely the most credulous and amoral of researchers, whose work is guaranteed to produce results favorable to the funders. Remember, there’s no such thing as academic integrity. 

You give a sociology professor 25 grand and three months, she’ll give you a study demonstrating how Dogechat is completely indistinguishable from human speech... anyone who disagrees is a fascist, perhaps even Russian. Humanities profs are even cheaper--you don’t even have to pay us. Give an English grad student a CV line, she will explain how it’s ableist to not let students us AI to write papers and screech violently at anyone who attempts to say otherwise.

2. Terrifying Generational Differences: If you’re over 25 or so, you can easily differentiate between actual art and speech and that which has been produced by AI. But if you were born after, say, 2005? That's difficult... 

This has yet to be seriously studied, but we now have a generation of burgeoning teens who grew up raised not just on social media but whose formative content experiences were videos like "Elsa from Frozen is Pregnant and She Goes to the Dentist.” On a very deep level, these young people might not understand humanity and its cultures in the manner we understand them. You go a decade deeper and get kids who learned how to speak when masks were mandated and Zoom replaced real life... it's gonna get bad. 

Studios can easily bank on this. Yes, old people might not like to watch a stream of empty, eerie cultural symbols smearing senselessly into one another, glitching out like a strobe light, mutating hideously with no regard to rhythm or narrative: a phantasmagoria no human mind would ever dare process, let alone generate. But those people are old, like I said. Kids today, they love this shit.

3. Nerds Love Garbage, and Nerds Control Everything: To your average nerd, (lefties primarily, but conservatives are not immune) the only purpose of art is to confirm the beliefs they already hold. AI does this better than even the most beaten-down human possibly could. Imagine a world in which bad thoughts are never depicted. They CANNOT be depicted, because they fall outside what the AI is literally allowed to show. That, my friends, is Social Justice. In this case, AI isn’t just good: anyone who opposes it is an enemy of progress who is an unsafe presence who causes hurt and even listening to their arguments is an act of violence.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #35: The VOICE of DOOM

August, 1988

The man who would be DOOM!

Wait so Doom would be Doom? Why isn’t he Doom right now? Isn’t Doom primarily known for being Doom? What’s the deeeeeeal?

-flips ahead- Ah ha. Well then that’s wrong on two levels. Another lying cover smh.

Anyway.

What have the West Coast Avengers been up to?

Lots of drama.

Remember the time that Mockingbird manslaughtered a cowboy during cowboy times for drugging her into being his girlfriend? Phantom Rider remembers because he was that cowboy. And now he’s trying to ruin her life. Afraid that her teammates and husband would sympathize if Mockingbird came clean about what happened to her, Phantom Rider told Hawkeye, Wonder Man, and Tigra before she could. They believe this random cowbody and are mad at her for doing a murder.

Mockingbird did tell Scarlet Witch, the Vision, the Wasp, Dr Pym, and Moon Knight and they were sympathetic.

Oh yeah, Scarlet Witch, the Vision, and the Wasp are here.

The other half of the drama is Hank Pym drama. He heard a rumor on the net that his dead wife was not dead and the West Coast Avengers plus the Wasp flew out to Hungary to investigate. Turns out it was a ruuuuuuse by Quicksilver who is in one of his asshole phases again. He also teamed up with a bunch of Hank’s old enemies who captured the Avengers.

Thanks in part to Phantom Rider, the Avengers break out of the super jail and escape Hungary. But Tigra forgot to put on the anti-get-shot-down defenses so the Quinjet gets shot down and they crash in Latveria.

Home of Doom.

And that’s why Doom is on the cover.

And that’s why Doom is watching Hawkeye and Mockingbird sleep.

See, it all comes together.

You might think that’s a bit short for a Doom and maybe its some random nine year old that’s had Doom doomloaded into his brain but that’s clearly ridiculous sedition.

This is Doctor Doom.

And he’s very upset that the (West Coast) Avengers have invaded Latveria.

Mockingbird insists nuh uh, they didn’t invade, they crash landed. But she doesn’t want to tell Doom they were fleeing Hungary so she doesn’t.

Hawkeye yells that Doom is a nine year old and gets TZAPP for his trouble.

Let that be a lesson.

Do not yell at Doom.

Use your inside voice. So says DOOOOOOOM!

Doom graciously explains that they are ignorant idiots who have been fed misinformation by the Fantastic Four.

Yes, Doom inhabits the body of Kristoff Vernard. He does not dispute that. But Doom mind swapping into bodies is nothing new. He walked around inside Daredevil for a while. And was still Doom.

Therefore, despite this body being more compact than usual, Doom is Doom. And he’ll zap you if you disagree.

Of course, there is the matter of a completely different guy out there claiming to be the real Doom who has the convincing argument that he is in the original body.

Compact Doom says “that imposter is a dangerous lunatic who stole my true body!”

Englehart, I’m begging you. Please do not have the other Doom show up. I already have to deal with a bunch of Kangs in the East Coast Avengers book. I don’t want to have to be like Cape Doom and Beard Doom and Doom But Lady! Just... please. This Doom and no Doomer.

...

So Mockingbird says Reed Richards said that the other Doom is the true Doom and Compact Doom is like bah, but have you noticed that Reed Richards fucked off somewhere after coming to that conclusion?

And sure, he’ll argue that he was taking a leave of absence to spend more time with his son. WHICH IS A WISE DECISION TO MAKE WHEN THERE’S A BODY SNATCHING LUNATIC ON THE LOOSE!

DOOM’S LOGIC IS UNASSAILABLE!

Mockingbird wants to continue arguing with the dude who has an answer for everything but Hawkeye interrupts because he has some questions about why they’re in a fancy bedroom and not in a jail cell.

Doom: “Through no fault of my own, Clint Barton, I am in a war with the imposter! He is attempting to enlist allies in an insane plan to attack Latveria and remove me from my throne! Therefore, I seek allies myself!”

According to a friend who reads FF, this Kristoff plot is pretty damn stupid. But over in West Coast Avengers land, it looks funny to have Doom fighting a secret war with Doom, and one of them is stuck in a nine year old’s body.

I don’t want multiple Dooms in THIS book but I do want to know that somewhere out there, those multiple Dooms were in the same room at the same time yelling about how they were the one true Doom.

Doom reveals that he knows that they were fleeing Hungary. While the West Coast Avengers were unconscious, he contacted the Hungarian Ministry of Defense and got the low down.

Hungary has offered Doom an alliance if he returns the West Coast Avengers to them. But Doom would prefer to have the West Coast Avengers as his allies. So he’ll set them free if they agree to help when the time comes for him to engage the Imposter Doom.

He gives them until midnight to decide and then walks out of the guest bedroom.

Hawkeye tries to chase after him to continue the conversation but an energy barrier bounces him back into the room.

Hawkeye: “His finest room is still a prison! I’m sick a’ prisons!!”

Meanwhile, the rest of the West Coast Avengers (and guests).

In much less nice quarters.

Hank Pym has been put in a helmet that will squish his head if he tries to size change anything. Scarlet Witch’s hands have been put in those giant manacles people use in comic books - preventing her from making the hand movements she needs to do to do her probability manipulation. Some kind of energy barrier has been set up in the wall that prevents Vision from phasing through or from punching through in his diamond hard form. Wonder Man is wrapped in a harness that drains his energy. Annnnnd... Wasp has been left free to fly around the room but there’s no gap that she can slip through tiny sized.

(I don’t see Moon Knight or Tigra here but I assume they’re somewhere.)

Hank suggests Wasp try to grow antenna and summon ANTS. He can’t do it for her because of the head squishing helmet. So she clenches and goes UHNNNNNHH! and out pops the antenna.

But... dangit, there’s no insects in the whole castle! That wily Doom thinks of everything!

Aforementioned compact Doom comes in and informs the captured West Coast Avengers and guests that he will free them if Hawkeye agrees to aid Latveria.

Scarlet Witch defiantly says she and her husband will never help Doom! So Doom drops some continuity on her.

Doom: “I would remind you that you have done so before, witch! All of you have! It was before the Avengers split in twain -- Dr. Pym was Yellowjacket, and Wonder Man was newly risen from the dead -- but all of you were there! We joined forces against Attuma the Sea-Barbarian, because he was a threat to our common interests!”

Scarlet Witch: “We had different goals!”

Dr Pym: “We turned against you as soon as Attuma was defeated, and you ran! And it wasn’t you anyway!!”

Doom: “Calm yourself, doctor! With the defeat of Attuma, my purpose was accomplished, so I had no need of remaining! I always accomplish my purpose -- and whatever you think of me, the defeat of the lunatic who stole my body is clearly of benefit to everyone!”

Wonder Man points out that beating up Doctor Doom IS kinda what Avengers are about. Which Hank rejects because they’d be beating up one Doom to help another.

Plus: he’s only interested in finding out if his wife is alive.

Hank... what the fuck. You... you still think it could be legit? When Quicksilver all about said it was a ruse? WHEN HER DEAD BODY WAS FOUND AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED??

This is just sad, dude.

Scarlet Witch backs up Hank, saying they should focus on Hank’s totally dead wife and that whole Quicksilver being a dick thing. Which Wasp seconds.

But Vision says, basically, ‘there is logic in what he says’ about Wonder Man’s point.

Doom shrugs and goes well you have until midnight to decide, toodles.

Elsewhere, we see where Tigra and Moon Knight are.

Doom doesn’t really know them so he’s put them in a gauntlet of deadly traps to study their strengths and weaknesses.

Tigra: “Study us? How?”

Oh that wacky Doom!

I’m really curious about that ribbon gun.

Doom watches the two heroes being put under various trials for about seventy minutes before stalking off elsewhere.

And time is tick tick ticking away.

It was sunset when Doom delivered his ultimatdoom to Hawkeye and Mockingbird. It’s been at least an hour past that.

So lets check on that drama bomb.

Hawkeye has spent the time moodily staring out a window so he doesn’t have to look at Mockingbird and she finally asks why he’s avoiding her.

Hawkeye: “You know why! The Phantom Rider told us everything, Bobbi! You as good as killed him!”

Mockingbird is shocked that the cowboy creep went and told Hawkeye but she asks if he explained why. But Hawkeye declares it doesn’t matter why, context doesn’t exist, Avengers don’t kill, period, end of story.

Mockingbird: “I didn’t kill him! I let him die, because he drugged me -- forced me to love him!”

Hawkeye: “That’s not what he says!”

Mockingbird: “What?! You believe him instead of me?!”

Hawkeye: “I don’t want to -- but you haven’t played straight with me so far!”

Mockingbird: “Why you big creep!!”

They’re both far too proud by half. So this conversation only escalates into yelling. With Mockingbird put on the wrong foot by not being able to broach the topic, she’s getting mad instead of showing the sincerity that made the jail buds listen with such sympathy.

Whether or not he believes Phantom Rider or Mockingbird, Hawkeye is mostly just hurt. Hurt that Mockingbird didn’t trust him enough to confide in him.

And why should she trust him, if this is how he’s going to be? shoots back Mockingbird. She says that he’s too caught up in the Avenger thing (to sympathize with what she’s been through, is the subtext) and he shoots back that if she’s not so caught up in the Avengers thing, she doesn’t have to be in the Avengers at all!

WELL SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE IN THIS MARRIAGE AT ALL THEN.

So despite the hope spot last issue that Clint Barton could be a people and sympathize with the extraordinary circumstances that led Mockingbird to not stop a cowboy from falling off a cliff, the two just yell at each other.

Alas.

And invisible, inaudible, intangible Phantom Rider is loving this.

Back in Doom’s finest jail cell, Wasp decides to grow to full size since she “can’t do much Wasp-size!” which Hank readily agrees with.

Wasp gets snippy about what Hank is implying but course corrects immediately by admitting that she’s still touchy around him.

Hank goes to go give her a hug with his manacled hands but Wasp moves away.

Wasp: “No Hank! Divorce means divorce!”

Not so amiable exes.

I shouldn’t but I’m laughing at Hank hanging his head sadly here.

Over at Moon Knight and Tigra’s unfun exam day, Moon Knight has a plan for how to get out of this.

He lets himself get bonked in the noggin with a mace, getting knocked out.

The technician running the gauntlet notes Moon Knight getting knocked out and continues the program for Tigra.

Meanwhile, Khonshu steps out of Moon Knight’s body... Huh! I guess Khonshu was driving?

Weird.

And Khonshu just goes for a walk.

Khonshu: “Marc Spector served me well before I gained an interest in the Avengers! But once exposed to Hawkeye’s triumphant spirit -- I felt the need for personal experience of his team!”

Meanwhile, Doom is done staring moodily from a parapet. The Hungarian representative is arriving by helicopter so Doom tells Boris to make the preparations for his midnight meetings.

Doom walks off and finds god.

The opposite, Doom.

Khonshu is overly dramatic as one might expect and introduces himself as KHONSHU, TAKER OF VENGEANCE! And tells Doom to release the Avengers or face AWESOME FURY!

Doom immediately tries to punch Khonshu.

He just falls through him and gets shocked for his trouble.

Punching not being an option, Doom doomduces from Khonshu saying he’s a god that he came out of Moon Knight.

I mean, the appearance should also give it away. Khonshu looks like a fancier Moon Knight.

Doom: “If I free the Avengers, will you ensure that they labor in my cause?”

Khonshu: “BEWARE, Doom! For those who displease me, I demand the STRICTEST JUDGEMENT!”

Doom: “‘Doom,’ you said! You know me to be Doom! For that reason alone you have earned my compliance, spirit! For know this: Doom bends to no one’s will! NO ONE’S!!”

Doom then presses the free all the Avengers button. A button that frees the Avengers. He just happens to carry it around with him for convenience.

Then he walks off, telling Khonshu to gtfo.

So if Doom has freed the Avengers because Khonshu asked, what’s he going to tell the Hungarian representative?

Well, that’s not going to be a problem. For Doom.

Because the Hungarian representative is Quicksilver.

And Quicksilver personally insulted Kristoff Doom in an earlier appearance. Also, he’s not acknowledging him as Doom which is just digging the grave deeper.

Quicksilver tries to flee but Doom slams the door shut and summons his robo-guards to attack. Quicksilver is able to outrace the guards but Doom also clicks a different button which shoot paralysis rays. And because of momentum, Quicksilver keeps going and bonks into a wall.

Ah, yes. Running headfirst into the wall. Just like the old days.

Doom rants to Quicksilver that he can’t understand what it’s like being trapped in a child’s body when you have an adult dictator’s mind. The struggle to command respect!

Anyway, Quicksilver did not respect him so now Doom is going to choke him out.

Then Scarlet Witch and Vision CRUMP through the wall.

OH YEAH.

Doom is like huh I know I freed them but I didn’t expect it to bite me in the ass so quickly.

Even though Quicksilver is being excessively Quicksilver, Wanda still doesn’t want him dead.

Doom really wants to kill him so he goes for his control panel to use the devastating technology at his disposal.

But get this.

He’s still in a nine-year-old’s body. Vision just physically restrains him. Just grabs his wrists and holds them above his head. What’s Doom going to do, kick Vision’s shins? Vision can become hard as a diamond.

And the rest of the West Coast Avengers and guests beat up the guards on their way into the room.

Quicksilver regains consciousness, kinda rendering the protecting him from Doom thing moot.

He regains consciousness and immediately starts whining.

So, like, remember how his new thing is that he wants to become the new Magneto and he wants to make all the Avengers suffer for various imagined crimes and also banging his sister in the case of Vision. He has made it very clear to them that he wishes bad things for them. He has already jailed many of them and tried to have the Hungarian government perform horrible experiments on them.

I have no idea why he thinks he has the moral high ground to proclaim Doom an attempted murderer and demanding the Avengers do something about it. And in the same breath he goes ‘kick his ass, he’s a nine year old.’

Quicksilver is really demanding that the Avengers do something about a child attempting to murder him.

Maybe out of contrariness or because the danger is passed, Vision just lets Doom go.

This is why Quicksilver was never going to work as the new Magneto, as the new boss of evil mutants.

He’s a chump. Nobody seems to want to write him as anything but a chump.

Anyway, Doom seems content with ending things here. The Avengers don’t do anything to him, so he has his dignity, and Quicksilver is the one who looks like an idiot. Especially once he runs away rather than do anything about Doom himself.

Doom tells the West Coast Avengers plus guests to gtfo out of his country. He’ll even give them a new craft to take them to America since theirs crashed.

But Hank decides he has unfinished business in Hungary and says that instead they’ll take Doom’s craft there.

Doom doesn’t care one way or the other.

But WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK TO HUNGARY!? Do you still think your wife is alive after all this time? Her dead body was found after she was kidnapped! The message about her being alive is very likely a ruse, just like the letter from Bova that lured Wanda and Vision to Eastern Europe!

What are you expecting out of this subplot??

But either way, the West Coast Avengers and guests leave. Doom marveling that they have no idea that a god walks amongst them unknown. And also briefly wondering why Mockingbird and Hawkeye are keeping their distance from each other.

Doom is not privy to their drama. Nor would Doom care.

SO SAYS DOOOOOM!

Follow @essential-avengers​. So says Doom. Actually, I can’t lie. Doom does not care about this liveblog. But like and reblog and comment if you’d like. I’d appreciate it.

[incarnateirony]

Not me tormenting Noiz while they're mini-GMing. Like. I get to be that guy. Does it count as combat? I get double rolls if not. Nice. Agi roll or dodge roll. Ok. So I'm going to confuse the enemies by firing 32 quarter-powered missiles likeice laser star wars while we break into the room just for the madness of it. Sorry To That GM for the resulting Action Management And Math.

On the other hand like "ok but Kion psychoanalyzes why it's a fairy tale book in architectural design plans" "I... I didn't think about that just something that stands out" yeah but it's an external affairs office, all legal or war documents. Anything else would stand out. A cookbook, a trophy. Whoever built this place clearly sees something in the fairy tale structure about The Road To Safety with the hidden passages "I... okay wait yeah hold up." scritch scritch.

[Kion accidentally auto-KOs most of the general guard force with a terror aura and a riddle, all but 2 guys drop dead] oops been a while since i cast magic combatively [meant to go more dark lord bluff than actual dark lord]

but also, to them just walks in yelling in draconic while shitting Fear And Thunder like. "SI WANT IR BIRD LAMITHAR! SCAKLAR UI BIRD SINI????"

Nobody in the room speaking draconic, while dying: BIRD???

rebel who painted the fairy tale book like. OUI!!! AH-- BIRD!! BIRD!!! [waves it to not die]

Terror lizard clearing the way for Kion-mage: I HAVE FOUND THE BIRD AND THE ADMIRER OF THE BIRD

bbbbbird bird bird, bird is the word.

But gets REAL funny when you remember Zenthus and Jalim. You know, bird--

So anyway, little bird, we have the Gouverneur how do we get their military to stand down. surely the bird knows where to send a message.

The gouverneur: "WHO ARE THESE LUNATICS WHAT DO YOU WANT"

The Lunatic: BIRD WANT BIRD. BIRD WHERE

Lunatic's Murderboyfriend: [knocks him out before he hears the bird answer]

Dude's gonna wake up concussed like. fuckin. bird???????

[sun-undone]

You definitely reminded me of some key points in season 3 that I definitely didn’t consider.

The château being burned down by topper seal the deal of him becoming an enemy. It would be EXTREMELY hard to see topper having a redemption story after that with some corny BS line like “ hey John b no hard feelings with the château, right?”💀💀💀

But just a warning 👀 if you hear Sarah’s voice starting off a epsiode with a reflective monologue of confusion and indecisiveness, then You know what’s coming 😂 let’s see if the pates intentionally screw us over with her character growth.

I agree with Jarah B being the stable couple as the other couples are still fresh and have some more exploring to do with their dynamic. I would love to see a bond created between JJ and Mike maybe closer to the end of season 4 to show Mike he can be the guy for kie and mike should give him a chance just like he was given one before he got accepted into the kooks.. we’ll seeeeee

NOWWWW

MR COUNTRY CLUB HIMSELF

Mark my words if Rafe does not become a Pogue by the end of season 4 he will die sacrificing his life for them with his final words laying in Sarah’s arms saying

“ I finally did something right”

( if I am completely wrong just forget I ever existed 🤣🤣)

LETS BE HONEST Ward created a monster with rafe. But rafe mistakes EAT HIM UP ALIVE which is why he is heavy on drugs. I still remember him crying because Barry didn’t have any coke for him one day and he freaked out. Rafe is a lunatic but not a serial killer. Which is why he went back to save Ward after putting a hit man on him. Rafe wants real acceptance! His problem is he always tries to fix his mistakes last minute.

Rafe isn’t a kook because of the luxury lifestyle. He’s a kook because of power and validation. Unlike topper who is a silver spoon fed kid with no siblings. Just a spoiled single child.

If the JJ and rafe fight happens. I think it’s early in the season. I don’t think they’ll make it a big ordeal. I feel like the Pogue gang will have bigger fish to fry by the end of the season if they’re on a new treasure hunt.

OK, please rip my response to shreds with your thoughts, I’m all ears.

Look at what this stupid little boat show has done to us 🥲

oooooh okay this is such an interesting topic, Rafe is such an interesting character to begin with, so i think his storyline in s4 is the one i'm most curious about. especially since we got nothing from him in the s3 finale for whatever dumb reason.

this is a very complex conversation to have, but to start, i don't think i want a redemption for Rafe! and i think they kind of closed the door on him sacrificing himself for the pogues or Sarah in particular by having Ward do it in season 3. i truly don't know how far they're gonna go with him seeking revenge on the pogues for Ward's death, or what they plan on doing with his character after this season, but whatever it is, i just don't see him turning a new leaf by the end of it. the ending for Rafe i'd most like to see is him going to jail and losing all of his assets and possessions, including Tannyhill, so Pope can snatch it up and make it a museum that tells the true story of Denmark Tanny. but i'm getting ahead of myself, let's talk about the really juicy stuff

do Rafe's actions eat him up anymore? i definitely agree that in the first 2 seasons, he was an absolute wreck trying to hold himself together with coke and by desperately seeking Ward's validation to keep himself occupied. but what about in season 3? he has that scene with Kie in episode 2 where he tries to paint himself as the victim for killing Peterkin, and i think that his denial truly runs that deep at this point. through spinning the story in his own mind, he's convinced himself that he did the right thing so he doesn't have to feel all the complicated emotions that we saw him feeling at the end of season 1 and even into season 2 in the aftermath of the murder. but in terms of Sarah, he does actually get emotional when he explains that he knows it was wrong, which is incredibly interesting to me. he clearly hasn't done the same mental gymnastics in trying to defend himself for that, so i could definitely see him genuinely feeling remorseful, which opens up that same incredibly complex dynamic that he and Sarah have had for a while now. there's a part of him that will always resent her for being Ward's favorite for so long, but now we can see that there is real guilt about trying to kill her. i think that scene really captures the pure instability of Rafe's mental state that still exists in some capacity, mainly in terms of Sarah, which we unfortunately don't see a ton of moving forward in the season since he barely has any scenes with the pogues. in general, he actually seems pretty confident and secure, maybe the best we've ever seen him, in terms of his mental and emotional state. so is the guilt really bothering him that much? the coke doesn't seem to be a coping mechanism for him like it had been before, like he was constantly using for the majority of season 2. but we just didn't see him struggling with his past actions in season 3, it was much more about his present and especially his future.

but for season 4, i'm definitely expecting a return to the more unstable side of Rafe as he plots revenge. who will he target in particular? who does he think is most responsible? will he choose to leave the other pogues out of the crossfire? if he gets the chance to kill Sarah again, would he take it? if he really was remorseful at the beginning of season 3, has that been overtaken by rage by the beginning of season 4? the year and a half time jump makes this much trickier cause maybe he's been trying to keep his mind off of it and do his own thing and resist the urge to get revenge but when he hears about the pogues getting recognition for their findings, it sends him off the deep end again? or has he been stewing the entire time? has the time given his rage the chance to simmer down a bit or has it only boiled over into something worse? now that he has the blessing of his father, which is the only thing he's ever really wanted, what are his motivations? how will he shift his way of thinking now that there's no more Ward to aspire to or to spite, and how will his mental state fare now that he believes that the pogues have taken away any opportunity he might've had to mend his relationship with his father?

there's truly so many things to consider and countless different avenues that his path could take, and i really do not know what is most likely at this point!! Drew hasn't even gotten to set yet so there's absolutely no bts to speculate about either. personally, i love Rafe as a character and i don't wanna see him killed off, and like i said before, although he expresses remorse in 3x02, i'm not sure if it's gonna be enough moving forward. i've always been interested in his character and have never shied away from the fact that Ward absolutely aided in fucking him up for life, BUT i just don't know if Rafe himself thinks he needs redeeming. and i especially don't know if he'll be thinking in that way in the aftermath of Ward's death.

but really, who knows???? i'm voting squarely against a redemption or any kind of sacrifice, but god, i am so so so intrigued to see where the pates take him.

this was really fun to think about and i could probably ramble on for way way way longer, but this is long enough already!!! thanks for sparking up the discussion! ☺️

[pyjamaart]

"sometimes i forget that youre a robot."

"whaddya mean?"

"every time we talk and you mention things like 'gears' or 'metal', the realization hits me that youre not actually made of flesh and blood. im just not used to this. before i met you, the only exposure i had to robots were science fiction movies."

"i get that a lot actually. dont know what to make of that tho. is it a good or a bad thing?"

"im not sure. but if i didnt know you were a robot, i never would have guessed. i remember when honoka and the others first met you and she thought you were just a guy dressed in a mascot costume, hehe…"

"mascot for what? greenpeace? a manifestation of the dying forest? a guy posing as a tree whos actually made of metal and wires? reminds me of the mother 3 logo actually lol."

"whaaat? haha, no. i thought of something like a super market or a football team. i could picture you holding up a sign for a sale in the produce section, hihihi…"

"now that you mention football, reminds me of the time our dad forced us to play football against the light bots. shit was wild."

"i wonder, what were you originally build to do? before we all met."

"uuuhhh… destroying megaman. dont laugh, but im actually a killing machine."

"you- what? are you serious?"

"yeah dude. im dangerous."

"do i have to remind you of the time you tried to fight me back when we were still enemies?"

"it wasnt that bad."

"you lost an arm when you tried to land a punch on me. i didnt even have to do anything. you quite literally destroyed yourself right in front of me."

"i was just going easy on you dude. smh."

"of course you did."

"even tho, to be honest, when my arm went flying i was actually concerned for a second. i hate looking at my insides. seeing all those wires and tubes makes me feel like my thoughts dont belong to my body. like theyre too human to belong to a machine. idk man its kind of hard to explain."

"like your thoughts dont belong to your body?"

"yknow, i used to look different. since all of this shit with the channel went down, i sometimes feel like ive become an entirely different person. or robot, rather. i still have the memories from when i was built, when i fought megaman, the time i spent with my brothers… but all of it feels kind of disconnected from me, as if they were actually someone elses memories, not mine."

"maybe this has something to do with all the dimension traveling youve been doing?"

"maybe. hell if i know man. i remember back when i was still working with the voice, he once told me to my face that my existence was an accident. back then i just didnt care about it. i just said 'nice', like i usually do and moved on with my life. but the more i think about it now, the more sense it makes. am i even who i claim to be? or am i just some fucked up glitch that stole some poor robots identity and memories? i feel like i dont belong when im with my bros, like im just an imposter who acts like their real brother. lol yknow like the game."

"woah woah woah! youre getting a little too existential there for my taste! of course youre the real you, who else would you be? youre talking to me right now, arent you? your not 'some fucked up glitch' and youre definitely not an accident either. youre my friend. and i cant believe he said something like that to you…"

"thanks. i guess i really needed to hear that right now."

"of course. thats what friends are for, arent they? grounding you when you start to question your own existence."

"i guess. lol."

"that reminds me, you keep mentioning your brothers. are they at all similar to you?"

"heh. no, theyre nothing like me. theyre all fucking lunatics. but the lovable kind. they dont even know what i get up to behind their backs. feels bad lying to them this much all the time."

"they dont know?"

"dude what do you expect me to tell them? 'yeah listen im actually a dimension traveller, i manage a music channel in my free time and also all of you are actually fictional characters from some video game lol' i think you and me having existential dread over that fact is enough. no reason to make them worry about that stuff for no reason. that wouldnt be nice at all."

"well, youre right about that. i… try not to think about it. its kind of a scary thought. being the product of someones imagination."

"yeah, not thinking about it might be for the best."

[ducknotinarow]

"Raph, hold up!" Leo's quick to grab the hothead's arm, hoping to stop him from getting any further. "Donnie's still our brother! We haven't lost him, remember? I'm asking you to THINK more about what you're about to do." ( for 2k3 dramamama ofc x3 )

| muse interaction

Raph had gone into blind rage before, unable to fully tell what he was doing, who he was around even, or where he was. Nearly taking his lash outs too far like nearly beating Mikey with a pipe. Everything went white, all he saw was red and left him nothing more than a blind seething creature of anger. This time though? Oh this time was worse. He was blinded by his anger but it wasn’t fuled by his rage it was the feeling of betrayal eatting away at him. Don was his brother! Fuck they may all fight or razz each other time to time but Raphael liked to think he showed he was there for them. But finding out Donnie had some truce? And even relationship with that lunatic Bishop? well maybe he wasn't sure sort of jumping to conclusions on his own end there. In the least aware they liked the guy in that way. But the real meat on the bone he need to pick with them was the simple fact Donnie didn’t tell him them about it. Fine sure that be hard to bring up to the family but he was going behind their backs this whole time! Raph was on a rampage through out the lair, kick down anything and everything that managed to get in his way. No room was off limits as he started to look around for Donnie, even busting into Leo’s bedroom. He didn’t give a tiny rats ass having gone about tearing Leo’s room apart in case Don was hiding in there somewhere, somehow. Ranting about what he just found out to the eldest. When he found no trace of Donnie though he huffed and hissed under his breath turning away ready to move on to the next room.

“Raph, hold up!”

Raph paused as Leo grabbed on to his arm, didn’t do much to clam him but it was enough to get him to stop moving at least. Letting his shoulders lift up and down as he was breathing heavily. Willing to listen to his brother..well maybe he was seeking out attetion for a reason. After all he knew well enough that Donnie wasn't likely going to be in Leo's room. It was a bit of an excuse to bring this to Leo's attetion. Raph couldn't wrap his head around the idea in the slightest. Donnie made a truce fine he could understand that part and a truce with that freak Bishop would be good for them especially but he was in love with the guy? He did say anything g about any of this to no one? Especially him? That hurt. If he were honest least to himself. Maybe towards Leo?

"Donnie's still our brother! We haven't lost him, remember? I'm asking you to THINK more about what you're about to do."

Lost him? That idea hadn't once crossed Raphs mind till Leo worded it themself. Was that what was happening? Were they losing Donnie to that looney? He slightly jerks her shoulder out from under Leo's hand. Arms crossing over his plastron as he turned to look at Leo a bit "brothers don't lie, and sneak behind each other's back not about this sort of thing Leo!" Raph voiced, maybe Leo would catch what he was trying to get at trying to say. Raph wasn't excstly going to out right word what he was feeling no he would let the temper speak instead. Eyeing Leo's face lookong for anything. Something, that showed how they were feeling or taking this. But fuck they were hard to read and it was passing him off hiw hard it could be to see what Leo was thinking or feeling je was good at the poker face when he had to be serious.

"what did you know?!" Raph accused suddenly, his voice raised as he did. "Ain't you possess? Worried even?! Did you head what I said? Don's out there making goo goo eyes with the fucking enemy Leo!" He repeated as he threw his hands up into the air now. "And yet you wanna worry about what I might do to him? What if he's getting tricked? Being played? What if we find out brother dead!?" There's a slight crack well he speaks. He clicks his tounge against his teeth and turns to look off to the side finding a spot on tje floor to focus on. Arms falling at his sides as he stand there still seething in rage.

"What dose he not trust us?" Dose he not trust me? He wanted to voice, but he didn't need to feel excluded in this mess.

[the-firebird69]

There are a few things happening one of them is their discovering that these situations are real and they're having a lot of problems. They are looking for ways out and solutions and our son has figured out that I'm on it and he's very thankful that was hell you said and it still is possibly they have one storm they're trying to make still you'll see that the Concordia is actually being loaded but as things go things have to happen for that to occur and we're wondering why and the ship's Captain had those markings from the James Bond movie which is strange which may indicate that the ship's launched prior to the adventure offshore of Africa and we're not sure and they say Cabo but we're pretty sure that's where it is and Willy Wonka has to happen cuz a lot of things that need to occur the monsters need to be freed and not as big as the mountain so smaller ones made of been released and people don't know it but it's a question as to what's really happening and if Willy Wonka has to occur for smaller ones to escape and if they get out first they may do things that attracts attention to that area and on purpose due to the chocolate. So it might occur before the launch. And he's saying it might be that it goes to San Francisco and they chase it to cost of Africa and that could be true they can move pretty fast and it's not too far it would take a little energy is it about a mile when he hits the bridge and when he hits off Africa he's about one and a half so he's eating stuff when he's in there the cavern. What would it cost him to attack San Francisco is the question and the answer might be it could be pursuing the Krake. There's so much enemies always get into it and it's becoming ancient history even though it's happening now that we use them as an octopus and it is to spy. It's not really bent about it but he tries to prove this point.. Tommy f is the winner he's carrying the mental health keys so we're starting on him the others will start it up and whale on them. Also a few other things happening and it is that the group here are a bunch of obnoxious losers they always say the wrong thing and they mean it they said they're not and they're bunch of losers okay they're upsetting people to be near cuz it's so rude and suicidal and they don't know their suicidal bja is issuing hand signals saying his brothers are zero and going to the hospital I mean these people are freaking jerks cuz you heard him talking sort of but he won't remember anything at all in a few minutes such a bum.

There have been huge crowds in Bavaria at those locations gigantic crowds and going up the mountain steadily to 3 trillion people and 14 seas were seen and in the water vortices. And pretty sure if you got out and they really searching for them. This particular monster is armored and it's hard to detect looks like a rock and they can't seem to ever find the thing. There are a few things that will go after when is the crake the other is Godzilla and the third is ships fish chips and and people and stuff like that it's not really huge but it can become gigantic enormous actually but it is about 2 miles normally. It is probably offshore of Western Europe at this time. It's near where it's home is and the tunnel and there's no ships coming out of it but there is a lot of water and just waiting for others to come out and it's been circling around there so some excited it and they'll probably Chase it out and it'll probably find its way to the West Coast and it will then be found and it will probably Chase something into San Francisco. And there's a lot of lunatics here who need a beating.

More shortly

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus

[cognitiveinequality]

Once upon a time in the USA...

...you and 99 of your friends and family get together — the first time in like 4 years, yay! — and are trying to pick a place to eat. The way that this particular get-together works is that wherever you guys decide to go for dinner that's where EVERYONE goes. Nobody gets to "have a big day tomorrow" and escape early — it's 100 people joined at the hip, together at the same place for the entire meal.

As everyone chats and catches up it becomes clear that some of you want pizza, some want ribs, and a handful want sushi, including you. You’ve been looking forward to sushi for weeks, the place has comfortable seats, lots of room for everyone, and the prices are amazing.  As far as the other options?

You're ambivalent *at best* about pizza — you've heard *really* mixed reviews about the quality of food and the service — but admittedly it's got a pretty varied menu with one or two vegetarian options and the place is clean.

You've been to the ribs place before. It's... not good. It literally has cockroaches scuttling around in the open, the cook is a guy with open sores on his hands and face, and even if you don't order anything you have to sit there and listen to Nickelback played on repeat at ear-piercing volume for the entire duration of the meal. People get stabbed there on the regular.

"It's time to vote for where we're going!" yells the group leader, but only around 80 people of the original 100 are in the room to vote. "Wait, you think, "oh shit a bunch of my friends and family went to the bathroom a minute ago and they're going to miss the vote..." You suspect this tactic is deliberate and that the group leader is trying to wrangle things so she gets her first choice. That seems insanely shady and unfair but there's no time to go get anyone, and the vote is happening NOW — take your pick, what will it be?

The hands go up and the vote is tallied: 

37 people want ribs

34 people want pizza

9 people insist on sushi

"THE MAJORITY VOTES FOR RIBS!" shouts the vote counter. 

"What the fuck," your best friend fumes at your side, "I go to the bathroom for two seconds and you assholes vote for ribs?" 

You can hear more cries of shock and surprise from other parts of the room as people realize what they're in for. "I couldn't stop puking for 48 hours the last time we went there!!" someone sobs.

"For fucks' sake, I'm a vegan and so are like half the people in this room, how the fuck could you vote for ribs??" she asks you, accusingly. 

"I didn't!" you cry, trying to reassure her, "I don't like pizza but knew a bunch of people were vegan so I voted for sushi!"

"Why the FUCK would you vote for sushi?? We eliminated that option like 45 minutes ago! Thanks a lot, asshole — instead of getting to go order a salad option at the clean and quiet pizza place, now all 100 of us have to go sit and get our eardrums sandblasted out while like 30 people gorge themselves on ribs and the rest of us starve!!"

=========================

In case it wasn't clear by now, this is the 2020 Election in a nutshell, lefties. 

Angry about your candidate not getting the nomination?  Considering "sticking to your guns" for the sake of ideological purity to either abstain, spoil your ballot, vote for a third option? Welcome to an endless loop of Chad Kroeger's raspy screams in your ears at full volume for the rest of your life.

Oh wait, I’m sorry did you say you ✌don’t like Biden ✌? Think he’s full of shit?Past his prime? Are you extremely fucking suspicious of the accusations of assault and other grossness? 

Welcome to the club, motherfucker.

Guess what, kids? November 2nd IS NOT THE TIME for you to “send a message to the Democratic party” — that shit happens between elections. The 2020 Presidential (and congressional!) election is about pragmatism above all else. It’s about amputating a limb before the cancer spreads. It’s about putting an end to a LITERAL. FOUR. YEAR. NIGHTMARE.

[birthdaycakeplate]

Optimus getting pampered because he deserves it-

We love that boi-

💖Oh! Oh 💕a stranger 💖who loves💗💕me! Ohhhhh!!! OHHHHHH, I love you 💗💝too ✨stranger💞

💘Thank you for this chance to project💘

I shortened it to heck and back, please believe me, but this is fic length, again.

I’ve also been sick for a couple weeks and really channeled that humiliation into ruining Optimus here. He’s baby to the max.

✨Warnings are in the tags✨

💕Thanks everyone💕

——- ————- —-

“Are you paid hourly, sniveling whelp?”

Optimus tilted his helm up towards the blur of navy and violet, looming in tall, twisted shapes above him.

This particular Decepticon apparently had much to hate him for -maybe more so than Sentinel at times. Thankfully, Optimus had learned this mech would never dare to pose anymore a threat to him than being an infinite source of insults and condescendence. Much like Sentinel...

And while he hadn’t a clue what he’d done to offend him so, this was thankfully a normal enough occurrence that Optimus knew he wasn’t in any real danger. Which was good, because he could barely suffer to stand upright at the moment.

Optimus, in his haggard state, only then remembered that he was holding a very breakable datapad in hand and scrambled with pitifully shaky servos to right his grip. Somehow this minuscule task was an entire feat to accomplish. It predictably earned him a sneer from the other mech.

As far as this ‘Cyclonus’ with all his unrepressed hate, standing there only half expecting to get a real reaction out of the smaller bot went, Optimus figured he’d do well enough to give him his usual proud flick of the finial and continue his work. Seemingly unbothered. Seemingly undisturbed by tonnes of angry war frame that’d like to crack open his helm for invading his terf and enraging him by simply existing.

But right now, the floor was precariously close to spinning out from underneath him, and he couldn’t remember for the life of him what his work actually was.

7 cyberweeks of pathetic bits of recharge. Nothing solid, nothing deep enough to free up all the clustered data he’d tried to shove in on 14 hour shifts.

Getting used to life on the Nemesis, the work expected of him from the Magnus as the sole mech trusted enough to handle the raging rouge that was Megatron -while also not being a terrible loss if all his leaders’ worst fears that they were dealing with unreachable beasts in this truce attempt came true- had left him seriously sleep deprived.

There was plenty to keep him awake at night.

His leaders, for example, had left him with little faith in any of their futures. Optimus had known from the start of this arrangement he had a far better grasp on the genuine civility of war frames than an out of term council who were quite stuck in their ways. Including the likelihood an entire enemy faction were going to open up for them before they did a grunt with little say in anything without the desire for confrontation than the history books had shown his superiors had. Demanding respect, demanding conformance.

Obviously Optimus was just hoping to survive this ordeal, and made him leagues more approachable than the council did. In that sense, the route they’d chosen to take with his role here was a much better idea than their direct involvement.

It still pained him to think they’d be so eager to shunt him off with what they believed were hoards of dangerous, raving lunatics still. It’d definitely kept him from having a peaceful recharge for some cycles now.

He couldn’t say he was surprised they had, however. And there was evidently some consolation in admitting the roots of this bizarre culture of mecha to be undoubtedly absurd, and thus somewhat a lot of raving lunatics. They had absolutely proved to be unnatural forces of crazy-

But still quite reasonable. Still Cybertronian. Still worthy of a chance.

One rather ethereal creature from the dark depths of Tarn in particular had proven so.

Optimus would kick himself in the aft for prioritizing thoughts of Megatron of all horrid creatures over whatever he’d been standing in the command center at this hour for.

His struts ached, his vents rattled, his helm felt muddled and cloudy.

He could hardly make sense of what Cyclonus’ weary once-over meant -his lagging processor trying to focus much too hard on the datapad down in his servo and why he’d brought it in here.

After another beat of uneventful silence, the dark mech finally chose to move on with his gruesome morning, and Optimus watched him go.

“Don’t vorry about zat lu-lu.” Blitzwing chirped happily from somewhere behind him. Optimus would need to see the medic onboard about his shorting audio receptors when it came through with a touch of static.

Blitzwing carried on.

“He’s a bit of a vild card! Always causing a stir, ja?”

Optimus nodded like he knew all about the terror from the sky that was Cyclonus, and his supposed antics. Deciding then that a walk about the place would jog his processor back up to speed.

He moved a bit sluggishly, careful not to hover too long at someone’s shoulder.... Lest he make another enemy among these easily offended sparks.

Then someone, he couldn’t imagine what kind of Decepticon would be concerned for him in anyway -or if maybe he’d just hallucinated the voice whispering things in his audial in the first place- mentioned something about him being a hazard, and that he didn’t belong on deck in this state.

Which was war frame for, ‘You need a break, bud’, and Optimus couldn’t help but feel a bit endeared by it. Wheezing through ex-vents, or not, he was starting to recognize a place for himself here.

As for their lack of faith that he wasn’t about to tumble over the nearest control panel and send them all careening into a star, well... Optimus was terribly offended. Maybe he could have used a few more kliks in recharge, sure. But he could do his job!

Everyone needed him to!

Whatever that job was exactly....

He surely looked like a lost turbo-puppy, shuffling aimlessly about, finials dipping low. Out of breath from his rigorous traipse across 3 war frame sized stairs. Thankfully, though, he noticed a rather quiet spot that was practically void of bots at the top and center of the room, overlooking the organized chaos below.

Optimus hardly registered his pedes carrying there until he was nestled into the nice, dim quiet. His optics long since adjusted to the strategical use of black light on the main deck.

Having a moment to stop and rest, he found it the slightest bit easier to think up here. He took a labored breath that did nothing to clear his vents and held his datapad up to optic level.

He blinked down at the same header he strangely remembered reading over and over a few hours ago before the glyphs had started to merge and the room began to spin. Clearly he’d been in this poor shape for a while now and had had far too many chances to fix the issue. He deserved everything coming to slap him ‘round the faceplate for it.

Optimus stared intently at the pad like that would unlock all the secrets it possessed, staring numbly with helm swimming, until the datapad began to move father and farther away. Farther and farther, and then-

Warm, blissful silence.

——- ————- ————

Megatron had watched the little fiend stagger around the room in a kind of daze, wandering like he hadn’t spent the last 3 deca-cycles leaving his prints around the place. Pestering Megatron about ethical nonsense the entire time.

Clearly his processor was vacant enough not to know which way was up, as the little bot eventually came to stand on tired pedes beside him at Megatron’s throne of all places. Likely having moved there completely subconsciously in an effort to find somewhere quiet and soothing in his addled state.

His absolutely desolate state, really... poor thing wasn’t processing slag.

Megatron was surprised to find him take his place among him, wondering -hoping- if Optimus had perhaps *sought* his company out by some kind of instinct.

They certainly seemed to calm in each other’s presence under more cordial circumstances. Mostly notably during their occasional evening fuelings together where they entertained themselves by digging at some of their favorite tasteless literature -a hobby of sorts which they looked forward to, though the evenings were never actually planned.

And during the short briefings he’d decided at last to give the Prime a part in- the two quickly devolving into thinly veiled teasing in favor of committing to their very important work. Giving each other backhanded compliments until someone cracked and it turned in to full on sass and a mockery of the command room.

And during their trips across opposite ends of the near infinite ‘vessel from hell’, stopping when they came across each other to whittle away hours upon hours on stunted small talk, talk that Megatron would have sooner shot the jaw plate right off of anyone else who thought they should waste his time with. Optimus’ most common subject of interest being about how pretty the nearest constellation looked that evening.

Weirdly enough, running in to each other after having not seen the other for the length of that cycle doused the tension in something intimate. Those little talks always felt the most fragile and precious.

It was inevitable really. Wasting that time away doing nothing more than yammering about their ridiculous time on Earth in some kind of reminiscing that old friends do. Things that Megatron had hardly even made sense of at the time and felt strange and surreal they’d even shared those moments together -volatile as they were.

And sometimes it was them discussing their favorite theater (and Megatron’s endless surprise that Optimus even had such) until one of them remembered they were long overdue somewhere important.

Drawn to each other, like magnets.

Maybe, truthfully, he was romanticizing any time they spent together. Megatron was familiar -Optimus was likely only lured so easily by his company, because he was the only familiarity on an entire fleet of hostile faces.

But he could hope, because....

Well, because.... Because *Megatron* certainly liked having his company.

There, he breathed it into being. Couldn’t pretend it wasn’t so now that he’d spared so much thought about Optimus’ taste in defensive maneuvers over early fuelings, now could he?

Right now, though, the little Prime’s normally welcome presence was overshadowed by one anxious warlord with fists clenched, watching as the smaller mech began to sway.

The little fool hadn’t done a thing he’d been told about keeping his own schedule for recharge when he’d come aboard. The place was a chaotic mess, no one would be there to remind him to do ‘self care’ -a word that made most ‘Cons cringe away.

Of course, head strong, young and eager to prove himself, Optimus hadn’t listened... So sure he wouldn’t be struggling to keep up with powerful war type engines with enough stamina to work a kilocycle without a defrag (Megatron thought fondly of Shockwave).

Optimus simply had gone and overclocked himself like an aft. Megatron had noticed a disturbing pattern that involved Optimus not listening to anything concerning his health that wasn’t life or death. He’d seen a small instance of such when the bot showed blatant disregard for a gouging burn in his servo from his accidental contact with the lovely Sunstorm, convinced Ultra Magnus needed his report more than he needed emergency repairs. He couldn’t feel it, after all, so why couldn’t it wait another solar cycle?

For all his levelheadedness and practically, Optimus had failed further to recognize that sleep, at least, *was* life or death.

Well, then. Megatron, as a great and glorious leader, would just have to fix this mess himself. Possibly the only bot in existence that’d ever deserved Megatron’s kindness, and he wasn’t even cognitive enough to appreciate it.

A big, black servo engulfed a little, blue one and pulled.

Down went Optimus without a bit of fight in him, yanked right off his pedes and into Megatron’s lap. His optics had already offlined before he’d even landed, and he lay there silently, chest moving with every soft ex-vent.

Megatron shifted his thighs wider to offer more support to the little figure of exhaustion below, keeping him cradled. Observing the way his finials slipped lower down his helm and feeling rather enamored with the sight.

Getting Optimus in a state that wasn’t ‘suspicious’ or ‘cautious’ or ‘completely untrusting of a single mech in his vicinity’ was impossibly rare. It meant Megatron never got to see him with his guard down -something he’d have loved to see more of in their time on earth while they’d been at each other’s throats.

This look on him was surprisingly very much preferred -perfectly content to slumber away in his lap, unbothered, if Megatron didn’t know any better.

He couldn’t help but indulge in the sight of the little mech looking at ease, curling into his warmth. Incapable of being weighed down by the eternal war he seemed to wage with himself about whatever benign thing a pure spark had to guilt themself over.

The terror of Kaon, far too pleased with his new trophy however temporary, dared any curious optics looking their way that might settle for even a nanoklik a look of his own that promised slow, painful death. No one accepted his challenge and kept their helms down and about their busy lives.

Satisfied, Megatron looked down at his little menace from Iacon. The battered mech that’d both found his way onto Megatron’s pristine warship and -somehow- into the bounds of Megatron’s limited patience. And like a fool that wasn’t experienced for millennia in using good sense, Megatron had willingly opened both up to Optimus’ delightful presence, forcing them to allow him entrance and respect. Impossible to ignore.

Megatron would maybe admit he’d given in long before this truce and the bot’s position here.

Maybe around the time Optimus had snapped back at his attempts to break him with far too much confidence for a mech half his size. Maybe when he’d hauled him off his aft into custody with more nobility and honor than Megatron had ever seen an Autobot possess.

Optimus’ vents stuttered, worrying him further that something serious might be wrong.

Had he worked himself sick? Megatron had seen Lugnut do it -he’d seen Starscream do it.

He’d seen all his driven, loyal subordinates do it at one point or another.

This one was not the same, though. This one was small and easy to exhaust with pretentious has-beens like Ultra Magnus demanding the work of 5 mechs from him. From the few instances he’d seen him interact with the more sociable ‘Cons, he’d noticed Optimus was rather easy to guilt, too. Megatron had found that startling revelation quite a detriment to the little one’s health. A guilty Optimus, whatever had set him off, proved himself a workaholic and struggled to think of himself as more than just a cog in the machine. The ‘greater good’ outweighed the needs of the overworked few.

Megatron had no doubt in this case he had worked himself to sickness out of sheer guilt that some other bot might be even slightly inconvenienced by his absence.

Megatron bristled as he wondered who of his men could have put it in his processor that they mattered even remotely as much as Optimus’ well being did. Who was possibly more important than this weary one here?

A big, warm palm moved to fiddle idly with a windshield, stroking the glass, careful of its skewering claws. He received a tilted helm burying into his side in response.

Megatron was perceptive, and he’d directed that towards learning a bit about the thoroughly guarded bot below. When he considered every option, the chances were that Optimus had put the thought that he should be forgoing his health for the sake of his work in his own head. He seem predisposed to such from what Megatron had seen of Shockwave’s academy records of the Prime. Those very sensitive, very interesting records.

The little truck slumbered away. So frighteningly beyond the limits of a simple restful recharge with the hitch in his vents that Megatron was pushed to call in Hook. Fearful a permanent stasis was fast approaching.

Little fool....

—— ————-

Optimus awoke to a large warmth draped across his side, and the generous padding beneath his backstrut he could blearily make out as his berth. The pad felt near infinite, stretching on whichever way he sprawled, molding to his tired frame.

No.

No, not *his* berth.

Optics going wide, Optimus frantically looked over his surroundings, processor stalling when a visual feed finally made sense of things with smell and touch quickly following.

That large warmth was an impossibly large war frame lying a servo over him, pressed against his side. The smell of gun smoke, of something decidedly mech filled his olfactory. Without a thought he breathed deep, venting that heady mix deeper into his chest.

“You’re awake already?” Megatron -of all the horrifying creations in the galaxy- was sitting in a chair that’d been moved flush against the berth, so he could easily reach for his diminishing patient atop it.

Optimus willed his spark to extinguish then and there and let his frame sink into the padding, and further still, into oblivion.

Primus, just offline him now...

He clutched at the arm across him with hands he’d steadied through sheer force of will.

“I-where am I- what am I doing here- what are *you* doing here?”

“These are my private quarters, and I was told you’d be in recharge for at least a week.”

Megatron’s private quarters- with said mammoth of metal and muscle casually draping a servo over his unconscious figure? Great.

And this talk that he’d be in recharge for a week? A whole week?

Why in the Allspark would he-

Everything suddenly became more clear to him than it had since his steady decline of sleep on the Nemsis some deca-cycles ago. Awareness crashing into him all at once, cutting through his consciousness, and the unfortunate conclusion was-

“Oh... Oh no!” Optimus felt his spark sink to his tanks.

“I have to order rations for the crew on Kleese side! I have to secure a line between the expedition team that joined-“

In panic and sleep deprivation and whatever thing had made his helm all staticky, Optimus processor quickly got away from him.

“If we have another Phantom Fleet, it’ll all be *my* fault!” He cried, Megatron looking completely at a loss for *that* statement.

“I need to confirm I’m an available resource manager- they don’t even know I exist yet! They don’t have the proper facilities without someone to work the line! I have to report to Ultra Magnus- I-“ Optimus stopped with optics wide and rolled with great effort onto his side to level with the bigger mech.

“*How long have I been in recharge*?”

Megatron frowned accordingly.

“A few solar cycles.”

“No! *No*!” Optimus had to force himself to loosen his grip on the giant servo to keep from denting it. Easy enough, when defeat began to mingle with exhaustion.

He’d let everyone down, again...

That thought alone was enough to renew his vigor and send him practically crawling up the berth to escape Megatron’s hold.

“It’s too late, the expedition team will be starved to death already! I have to arrange a list of casualties-“

Free of one serval tonne servo, Optimus swiftly sat himself up, and was immediately met with a hot palm splaying over his chest plate. Pushing him back down with half the effort it’d take to restrain a fully functional Optimus.

“I have to get back, Megatron! The party have families waiting-“

“They’ve got everything they need, Prime!” Megatron said, half hysterical. The absolute delusion a frantic Optimus could conjure in his guilt. His *bizarre*, outlandish guilt.

“You aren’t the only communications source for my men- what an ordeal that would be.” Megatron had the audacity to roll his optics at the other’s mortal coil.

“But I-“

That servo moved from his chest to reach beneath him and lift his weakened frame just enough to stuff a pillow that was definitely not standard issue for the common rabble underneath his helm. Optimus’ aching shoulders fell into it gratefully.

Megatron continued to undo the tension tying him into knots with more of his usual bleak, hopeless reassurances. The ones Optimus was oddly endeared by and appreciated the familiarity of, despite the cold honesty.

“This alliance between our people is a glorified test run, and, inevitably, an excuse to continue the war when your leaders choose the most damning evidence you’ve unwittingly presented to them these past cycles to declare us ireedemable by Primus. And further, a wasted effort. Others far more capable at the moment have your position filled, Optimus Prime.”

No, Optimus wasn’t sure his leaders were actually so eager for the war to wage on- more like they had little to no hope an alternative was truly possible.

Which, why send him here in the first place then?

It was at that moment Megatron’s shameless spark burst to life, and a thick digit reached out to tentatively trace over the vents in Optimus’ abdomen. Up and down, crossing over the dull, bladed edges of his grille with a ‘clink’ when his claws caught over each fold. Careful not to bare down.

“W-what are you,” Optimus cleared his vocalizer and pushed that warm palm putting a flutter in his tanks away.

“What are you doing?”

‘It’s me, Optimus. Not that you remember my name when it doesn’t explicitly suit you.’ Was what he’d wanted to say. But how *exactly* could he deny how weirdly intimate their encounters had been as of late, anyway?

What with long, pointless conversations at late hours in empty corridors about Megatron’s extensive exploits from long before Optimus’ creation. Or asking, perhaps a bit too forwardly, to hear of his recreational works -which Megatron would deny him, though clearly flattered all the same. Or actively seeking the other’s gaze to share an eye roll with at the insanity of morning refuelings with all the ‘Cons who’d happily see each other pushed down a quarry forced to interact, providing endless entertainment of the violent sort.

One more unabashed display from this deplorable mech was hardly a surprise.

Even if this had been the first time their.... weird relationship had delved into this side of something genuine -like Megatron appearing honestly concerned for his well being.

Which was ludicrous, of course, but...

He had dragged him into his berth after all.

How and why had he ended up here, again?

Megatron looked unbothered by Optimus’ sudden shyness.

“I was merely trying to keep you relaxed. I need to keep you comfortable.” Megatron purred, like being in his berth wasn’t already questionable enough without *that* particular tone.

“Hook was quite clear that you needed ‘proper’ rest -and so, are you feeling content? How can I put your processor at ease?”

Optimus stalled.

Hook? The medic that’d threatened to throw Skywarp’s dismembered arms into a smelter instead of helping reattach them, but a medic no less? Optimus could only figure he’d fainted then, since he was missing such a large chunk of his memory in the time before Megatron’s overwhelmingly big berth was all he’d come to know.

And if the medic involved had assigned him here, then he’d been put on berth rest...

How humiliating.

Now he wished he’d just taken the extra care to recharge before he’d passed out in front of his superior.

His superior? Was Megatron even? Optimus was incredibly grateful his role and orders when given this position were so painfully vague now, and didn’t have to worry too much about his insubordinate streak towards both factions if it meant he didn’t have to consider *Megatron* his *superior*.

He made to move again, feeling he had to do *something*. He sat up again and got as far as swinging his legs over the edge of the berth before Megatron proved he was apparently happy to follow doctor’s orders for once -A miracle, considering the time he’d walked around on poisoned Energon once, refusing a system flush. He’d thrived off the contaminated fuel even, by pure spite to Starscream alone.

Optimus was really ready to get out of berth now.

“You’re staying here.”

Fantastic....

“Can’t I stay in my own room?” He pushed at the mech invading his space and blocking his escape.

“Certainly. And I will ensure you stick to doctor’s orders while you do so.”

Optimus’ finials tipped forward threateningly. Megatron ignored the pitiful display.

After a moment of unwavering wills clashing together and filling the expansive room with tension, Optimus had to sigh and swallow his shattered pride. Hoping this wasn’t the kind of thing he’d have to make a report about that would inevitably end up in the hands of Ratchet for future physicals.

He looked down at the big servo resting on the berth beside his thigh, waiting with deadly precision to jump out and snag him around the waist should he attempt freedom once more.

Controlling bastard.

“What sort of orders do I have?” Optimus growled, finials flat to his helm in an entirely different kind of threat.

“Luckily, the simple sort. And all very manageable by me.”

“You? You’re my keeper now?” Optimus hoped sassing would provoke the other into releasing him. Even if that was relatively hard to do.

“Can you afford to add ‘Nemesis Din Mother’ to your terrifying list of aliases?”

“I couldn’t very well afford ‘Forsaker of the Only Mech I Find Tolerable And At Times Reasonable’, now could I? But seeing as now isn’t one of your more sensible moments, I will assume the role as ‘Temporary Carer’.”

“Why?” Slipped out before Optimus could think better of ruffling the only bot concerned with his safety -and even with his scratchy vocalizer, he’d manage to sound quite demanding.

Who could blame him? With a history composed of violence and distrust once, this was the stuff of fever dreams.

Regardless, “Weren’t you listening?” was the significantly bemused response he received, and it was nowhere near satisfying enough an answer.

He supposed he would have to let ‘coworkers’ via ‘peace time’ be good enough a reason. As if that normalized being doted on in a work associate’s bed.

—— ———— —

Stuck in a berth on medical leave was one of the most painful experiences in Optimus’ lifecycle.

He was trapped there on special orders in a room where his former archenemy, who’d never bothered to remember his name at one time, could just waltz in and irritate him with news about the ship’s perfect functioning while their martyr took a much needed break. Aft.

Optimus could handle the sarcasm and pigheadedness -he’d gotten both from his Earth crew and Sari regularly. The awkward doting, however, when Megatron would bring him cubes and wait patiently (unnecessarily) for him to finish them before asking if he was still hungry was another thing.

As were the extra berth sheets that’d slowly started accumulating around Optimus, until he was practically lying fluffed up and wrapped inside a nest.

As were the corrosive polishes freshly bought and presented to him to use for a quick buffing when a private wash rack was a door away.

Confusing- mind blowing- so, so unnecessary- so, so humiliating.

He could have done without all this, yes, but he wasn’t sure if he’d have been saved the same fate if he’d demanded to suffer alone in his own quarters. Megatron was clearly actively seeking him out.

Finding the ex war lord locked inside his private room any other time was a rarity, ever present and foreboding someplace on the ship where there were blithering mechs to scare.

Now that Optimus couldn’t even get rid of him with Cyber-bear mace if he tried, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been something of a personal target of his since coming aboard the Nemesis. They did have a way of running in to each other, but *this*.... Megatron was always fluttering about his room now, having such important paperwork to do all the sudden -the sort he’d shuck off on Shockwave prior- and leaving Optimus to endure his frequent company.

Which wouldn’t be so bad- Optimus couldn’t pretend he didn’t enjoy the niche similarities they did share. Who else honestly thought tactical maneuvers was a fun subject? Or that the great wars the bigger mech had weathered made for interesting story time?

But the fact that he was spending hours lying uselessly around a cushiony little nest, accepting warm fuelings, Megatron’s personal literature, and allowing himself to doze to the sound of that baritone voice when there were bots upstairs working themselves to stasis -and not by their own doing- was just plain unacceptable.

“Don’t rush your recovery, Optimus. Your system functions need time to come back online- and to do that you need adequate recharge for all the cycles you missed. And fuel.” Megatron extended a servo to the pouting mech, holding a mesmerizing, swirling cube of Energon.

Optimus sat up, thoroughly reprimanded for acting like a sparkling, and peered over at the dazzling purple slush inside.

“And *that* is supposed to be adequate fuel?”

More than adequate- that was the problem. The ‘that’ in question was an Energon goodie, that much was obvious, and while still very unnecessary, he couldn’t help but wonder about its unusual contents.

Optimus reached for it and gingerly took a sip, finials pricked high upon his helm.

He savored the smooth, sugary gush, optics locked suspiciously on the terrible mech awaiting his approval. A smirk slowly forming.

“This alloy tastes like an Earth solution. Potassium permanganate?”

Very much not a thing a despiser of all things organic would keep aboard his ship.

Further more, no matter how good and sweet it tasted, a splash of medical grade human antiseptic had never occurred to him he might try as a junky little treat. How’d Megatron figure so? Where’d he even get it?

And why hadn’t he stopped taking sips already?

His pout was significantly less effective when plush lips were busy sucking down their fourth fueling in a cycle -and especially so, when it was laced with additives for substantially less health related reasons.

He should really stop accepting this kind of treatment. Maybe if he just reminded Megatron that frivolous expenditures had always been beneath him before Optimus’ self induced injury....

“I’ll fetch you another.” The larger mech said.

He turned towards the door and stopped abruptly to consider his own words. A momentary pause that was dismissed much too quickly for someone who once openly sang of the conquering of Autobot Tyranny and its desire to reduce his people to little more than giant, thoughtless pets, and then he was off to ‘fetch’ his drink.

Leaving Optimus almost inconsolably bewildered, and with a half full cube of treated Energon he’d hardly made a dent in tilted towards his lips.

The absurdity of Megatron practically self proclaiming himself Optimus’ new errand boy seemed to bring him to his senses a bit.

Was Megatron.... coddling him?

Coddling *him*? Optimus Prime?

And also, *Megatron* and *coddling*?

No, no, no, no. Now he was just being an idiot.

First of all, the frequent playfulness in their interactions -yes, he could admit their constant taunting of the other was hardly the stuff of unbridled hate these days- didn’t exactly mean he’d earned himself any special privileges. Optimus was still an inconvenience to him, put here in a measly attempt to keep some control over the affairs of adventurous, destructive war machines in the wake of a shaky truce.

It wasn’t like Megatron’s interest in him went farther than Optimus’ ability to offer him challenging conversation and fresh perspective (on matters he apparently wasn’t being taken seriously in managing here either. Surprise).

And those were Optimus’ own thoughts exactly on the dangerous ‘Con. Megatron was a fun challenge -now that he wasn’t hellbent on his destruction. He was a welcome change to Optimus’ stagnant life.

This surreal, shocking amount of care he’d shown on Optimus’ behalf -which was again, unnecessary- wasn’t anything as outlandish, as *impossible* as Megatron wishing to *coddle* him. To keep him safe and see him back to health once more. It was just.... he was just....

Optimus hadn’t a clue *what* he was doing. He only knew it wasn’t coddling for Primus’ sake. Though still very odd and very much a mystery -one that’d tear him apart at the seams until he had suitable answers. Make him question everything he’d come to know about the Decepticon leader and whether he was just an ambitious, presumptuous mech for even entertaining the idea-

And Optimus should *really* stop frying his circuits over all this and get some much needed recharge.

He sipped his cube with both hands, finally used to the sizable difference in the war class’ servos to his own. It was still warm and sweet, and it lulled him into a comfortable recharge, back down into the pillowy layers of his makeshift nest.

Happily oblivious to Megatron’s heated gaze when he returned with his fifth ration, taking enormous pride in having secured the little mech’s comfort. Though, one more sheet wouldn’t hurt.

——— ———— —-

He’d figured he’d survived the full insanity of his situation and came out on top when his subroutines reverted to his usual standard, and Optimus was able to go more than a few hours without rest again. It wouldn’t be long before he was his old self, and he’d be cleared for the bridge.

So why now, when he was capable of walking himself over to the washroom for solvent showers and fuelings cut to twice a cycle again, was Megatron ten times harder to get rid of?

Optimus couldn’t swing a thigh over the edge of berth before Megatron was subspacing his datapad and hurrying to his side. Offering a hand to take.

“I’m not completely dilapidated,” Optimus mumbled -which he never had been.

“You don’t have to worry about me falling apart if I walk to the mess hall.”

“Why are you walking at all?” Megatron countered and sounded ever so slightly annoyed at the prospect.

Like having a mech who was capable of getting up and walking around to fend for himself was more annoying than having an independent bot with near perfect functioning lying uselessly in his berth.

Megatron was perceptive, calculating. He could see that Optimus was doing fine now, and it was more than a little shocking that he hadn’t decided it time for him to move on and resume their work like normal honestly.

Optimus thought it time he ask him such.

“I can’t thank you enough for watching out for me,” He began, even taking the servo offered in a gesture of goodwill.

“But I’m good as new -more or less. I can handle myself from here on, so-“

“Allow me to see you to your destination.”

Optimus was cut off, and that was as much a sign as any that Megatron wasn’t leaving this up for debate. Which was *odd*, but fine with Optimus. He liked his company when it wasn’t centered around him being babysat like a mechling.

Optimus dipped his helm and shrugged.

“Fine. Maybe we can get some work done while we walk. I’d like to know where we stand with the crew on Kleese now. Are they receiving full necessities? I’ve noticed you war frames don’t prioritize medical leave in the event of an injury.”

Megatron would like to shake him unconscious and explain to him how that was the greatest hypocrisy of the seven centuries when he awoke.

He walked with Optimus side by side, watching him from the narrow corner of his optic. As if he thought Optimus might be about to bow over and faint any moment. The smaller bot tried not to grind his denta together too loudly.

“Everyone is accounted for, all resources at their disposal, and communications have not been met with interference. They have orders to explore further.”

“But they have access to the home ship at any time?” Optimus asked, as he began to tread a little more slowly.

“What if they go too far?”

Megatron seemed to find the idea amusing.

“You are the only civil frame in our ranks, Optimus. A war frame is capable of amazing arduous feats, immeasurable to the strength of your little engine.”

Not so immeasurable the most powerful of their class couldn’t be beaten down with the Magnus hammer, firstly.

And secondly, ‘part of their ranks’?

“I’m not actually assigned to a position in your military.” Optimus pointed out, finding it a bit difficult to say so. Why was the room getting darker?

Megatron only sighed whimsically.

“Unfortunately, no.”

‘Unfortunately’?! Optimus gawked.

He would argue that the council couldn’t wait to get rid of him, and here his former enemy was acting like he’d make even a decent fit among a lot of cut throats and thugs able to work through recharge and survive whole missing sensory circuits without shedding a tear.

“However,” Megatron continued, unconcerned with Optimus’ inner turmoil.

“You’ve certainly made a place for yourself here. You’re practically one of ours now.”

Optimus went very quiet then, worried the affects of his self induced injury had somehow become contagious and spread to Megatron to damage his processor. Did he hear himself right now?

“Well,” Megatron began, voice deep and thoughtful. So low it was unlikely Optimus was entirely meant to hear his inner musings.

“I consider you so. I’d be a fool not to claim you as quickly and thoroughly as possible.”

“Excuse me?!” Optimus wheezed through his vents. He hadn’t even realized when they’d come to a stop, but that’d been enough of a gut punch to send him clutching at Megatron’s armor like a lifeline.

“You’ve pushed yourself too far, little one.”

Optimus opened his mouth to hiss indignantly at the pet name, and immediately devolved into a coughing fit. His grip loosening, as he curled in on himself.

“I’m calling Hook.” Megatron hummed and almost sounded panicked, but the single palm wrapped around Optimus’ waist, pushing his weight into the bigger mech’s felt calming and sure. Promising the other his grip wouldn’t slip in the slightest.

Beyond feeling like there were slivers of glass cutting at his intake, Optimus decided Megatron’s rather overbearing approach to him as of late wasn’t such a bad thing. If he hadn’t been here, Optimus would have been stuck struggling to vent for however long until someone came walking by. And if it had been Cyclonus who’d found him in this scenario, he wouldn’t have gotten the appropriate care he’d needed.

He let the dizziness blur with his sudden exhaustion and was soon fading into unconsciousness against a sturdy chest plate.

——- ———— -

Optimus woke to that familiar warm servo draped across him sometime later. Now waring the effects of a system flush on Hook’s command, trying to turn the room upside down on him, he had little choice but to listen quietly to the firm lecture Megatron had clearly prepared for him.

“Why do you push yourself? You understand there are consequences to such foolishness, yet you are optimistic the risk will prove worth the punishment. It hasn’t thus far.” Optimus certainly didn’t need reminding of that truth.

“It’s left you in an even worse state now. You must see how much progress this has cost you as opposed to have simply *waiting* until you were fully recovered. Why push yourself?”

There was so much disappointment in his tone, and the little bot couldn’t believe how that could feel more miserable than his aching tanks.

Optimus felt like a bigger idiot than when he’d boarded that ship for Archa Seven.

He was blessedly spared the awful, crushing force of his embarrassment by a system alert to purge. He jolted against the servo pinning him down, but the warning passed as quickly as it came. Faulty code from the flush- it was doing away with contaminants on its own without the need purging. Which means Optimus would just have to lie there uselessly, absolutely swimming in nausea, and endure the seething mech at his side while he fought random alerts to purge his brain module out.

“Sorry.” He croaked. He was only sorry Megatron was the one having to see him act a fool.

He surely made a pathetic display, as Megatron’s other servo came up out of the purest sympathy he hadn’t known him to possess to smash his cheek plate into the palm of his hand, cradling the side of his helm. Thumb stroking a finial. Optimus shivered.

“I doubt it.” Megatron finally said, and he’d be right.

Optimus had had a job to do, and recharge hadn’t been such a priority. He was much less likely to stand by that now, though, if it meant he’d be withering away in Megatron’s berth for eternity.

He’d rather be here on more pleasant terms.

Or not at all.... Definitely not at all.... yeah... uh...

“Who convinced you to take such little care in yourself, Optimus? Who put it in your processor that you matter so little? *It is appalling*, you understand?”

Optimus would tell him ‘nobody’, if he had half a mind and none of this dizziness making his helm spin. Mostly because he wasn’t even worth most peoples’ processing power.

But without the privilege of good sense and a throat that wasn’t aching with untapped emotions, Optimus simply shrugged and confessed, “I think it’s kind of obvious.” And clung a little tighter to that servo keeping him grounded.

He couldn’t tell what Megatron thought of that- whether it was disgust at the self pity or anger that a mech he apparently considered quite capable and intelligent would let such doubt overwhelm him. His optics kept shuddering, and in the dark, Optimus could barely tell which way was up without Megatron to hold him there.

But a rumble came from a powerful chest above him, rattling through his frame and filling him in a terrifying way for the possessiveness with which it spoke. He leaned into the palm at his cheek and basked in it, thoroughly surprised to find Megatron so doting for his unbecoming confession.

“If that is so obvious, why am I here? I, who wouldn’t waste my time on anything so ‘unworthy’?”

Megatron’s servo slid free to stroke languidly down Optimus’ middle. Seemingly fixated on the blades of his grille like the first time he’d taken him to berth.

And in a voice much deeper than Optimus was sure he’d ever heard it, lulled him into a quiet recharge with the softest confession of his own.

“Your worth isn’t measured by my infatuation, mind you. You are simply enough as you are, Optimus. You.... matter.”

Whether that was true or not, Optimus could hardly hope to deny so. It felt too good to hear it, but especially when it’d been Megatron to say it. Even if he sounded quite out of his depths.

He’d never know Megatron simply felt there were no words to convey the true importance of the brilliant little mech he’d stumbled across by dumb luck. This mech that deserved higher praise than one lowly lord could hope to give him.

——— ———— -

Optimus drifted in and out of recharge, offered plenty of fuel and warm words whispered in his audial between them. A few stabs at the foolishly fearless mech that had once challenged Megatron to a battle back on earth when he was so easily defeated by recharge, too. Optimus had just enough energy to sass back with talk of the pitiful space bridge debacle.

Having turned over to low prone at some point, it earned him a gentle caress along the place between his shoulders, and he was forced to hide his burning face in the hoards of blankets, willing the flutter in his spark to recede with the tension Megatron dutifully rubbed away there.

He’d deny up and down the way his engines purred at the generous touch. Soaking the foreign attention up quicker than he had the Energon.

Megatron’s affections were their own abundant source, apparently, and Optimus felt blessed to be their receiver. Finally allowing himself to give in and believe himself absolutely worthy of this explicit care. Humming and stretching when a particular spot was pushed into just so, turning him into little more than a puddle of mech.

“Roll over.” Megatron ordered, unwilling to entertain protests of any sort. So much so that he took the smaller bot by the hips and flipped him himself.

Optimus felt awash in the sensations of those battle worn hands against his chassis, undoing decades of stress. Pawing at him until his frame felt anew and free of ages of wear. Processor, too.

————— —————

He wasn’t surprised to see the ex warlord in remarkably better spirits when the illness had finally passed, and Optimus had returned to his now substantially more esteemed position. If only because Megatron knew he was taking care to get that precious recharge going forward- in Megatron’s berth, no less.

Optimus took the junky Energon treat the ‘Con shamelessly offered with all the grace of an overprivileged grunt receiving the special treatment of his high commander could. Bringing it over to sip happily from atop his perch on the throne’s armrest, finials flicking at an incensed Cyclonus marching by.

———- ——————-

This is disgustingly fluffy, I know, but I fought against the much worse fluff crimes I am capable of to spare you. And myself. I have to stop outing myself like this.

🤍Stranger, thank you, because this message was so amazing, and I want to give you something in return for allowing me to splurge and humiliate myself appropriately🤍 Being sick was worth it to scribble this thing out and just vent.

[thetargaryenbride]

You Are Worth It [Levi x Reader]

Summary: You were ready to do anything for this man and if that meant defending him from your own comrades, then so be it.

Set before and during the No Regrets OVA

This is for @vennilavee  ‘s Writing Challange. I had fun writing~ 

This scenario is actually a part of my OC’s story BUT I decided to change it up a bit here and there and make it into a Levi x Reader instead. Enjoy!

Word Count: 7646

Warnings: Violence, Vulgarity, Profanity, some gore, some harassment

Pairing: Levi x Fem!Reader

Feedback is deeply appreciated~!

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❅

The Underground.

It was a foul place – lawless – full of thugs, drunkards and creeps. Unfortunately, it was also the home of women who most of the time had no other choice but to sell themselves, it was the home of sick people who only wished to glimpse the sun, and it was the home of malnourished orphans who died like flies in the dirty streets. And nobody was doing anything to help those in need.

Nobody but you.

You remembered the first time you set foot in the Underground. You were just but a little girl, holding tightly your step-mother’s hand as she made her way through the muddy streets, not caring whether her dress would get dirtied. You smiled fondly at the memory. Your step-mother’s friend had lost the rights to her citizenship and was hurdled into the clutches of the Kingdom of Shadows, being forced to work as a prostitute. But the two women kept being friends and your step-mother frequently visited to bring her food. You went only once but it was more than enough to break the pretty picture you’ve imagined – of a place safely tucked below the Inner Walls, with glowing crystals and beautifully shaped stalagmites. It was a hellhole.

You still thought of yourself as a little, naïve girl. You blamed your parents’ coddling. You were supposed to be more aware of the real world as a teen and almost young adult. You wanted to know the truth and the horrors that accompanied each day. That was one of the reasons you also wanted to join the Survey Corps. But you had promised to yourself that you’d join after you face the hell that is the Underground and after you offer some help to those who need it. After all, how could you fight and protect people from the Titans, if you couldn’t even protect them from fellow humans?

“Listen now, little lady, I know that you wanna do some charity shit down here but we also have work to do instead of escorting you. Just because your father is the Deputy Commander-,” grumbled the Military Police soldier from behind you but you didn’t pay him any attention. Instead, your ears strained to hear another sound – a child crying. You hushed the soldier and before he had the chance to give you some scathing remark, you walked away from him and towards the sound. The alleys were too narrow and the repugnant smell of piss and alcohol was heavy in the air but you tried your best to ignore it and kept walking. Turning right, then left, you came to a dead end. And there it was – the child – crouching on the ground with his knees pressed to his chest and little hands rubbing at his eyes.

You approached slowly and knelt down, your gown puddling all around you, the light blue fabric immediately getting mudded and dirtied.

“It’s all right. I’m here. No one is going to hurt you. I got some food too,” you spoke gently as to not startle him as your hand took out an apple from your bag and handed it to the child. He looked at you with big eyes and you offered an encouraging smile. That smile fell off your face the second you heard the clicking of a gun right behind your head. It pressed against you roughly, almost ruining your perfect bun. The child simply stood up and ran away.

“Now, don’t move, pretty thing. We don’t want to accidentally blast your head, do we?” came in a man’s gravelly voice, sending shivers down your spine. You dared not move as you felt him getting closer, his breath tickling your neck. “Ya better get those money ready, lass," he hissed out and you willed your body to stop shaking. It was impossible. Were you going to go out like this? Murdered by some thugs? Were you going to rot in this very same alley? Before you got the chance to see the outside world?

There was a swooshing sound. You closed your eyes, anticipating the worst, but then strangled grunts and coughing was heard, making you snap your head in the direction of the sound. Your eyes widened as you saw the two men fall dead on the ground, clothes soaking with the crimson blood that leaked from their throats, some managing to drop onto your cheek. Your eyes focused on a third man who was cleaning his knife. He didn’t pay you attention as he pocketed it and turned his back on you, ready to walk away.

“W-wait!” you called out and he halted. Let me at least see your face. Let me at least learn your name. “You saved me… I-“ you stuttered out but he interrupted you roughly, turning around to look you in the eyes. He was the most handsome man you’ve laid eyes on. The pampered, powdered noble boys couldn’t hold a candle to his rugged looks and the aura he was giving off. He had raven hair, locks falling around his eyes, pale skin and sharp eyes the color of a stormy sky. His clothes were a little bit baggy but even like this you could tell his body was built nicely so you assumed that he was a thug as well. Speaking of clothes, his were way too clean and pristine for someone living in such a filthy place.

“Don’t waste your breath. Go back upstairs to your gold and fine porcelain. You don’t belong here,” he spat out and your eyebrows furrowed as you slowly stood up, coming face to face with him.

“I’m sorry but you can’t say where I do or do not belong to. Maybe I don’t really fancy the world you speak of,” you told him firmly and his gaze lingered on your for awhile.

“You’re a lunatic then,” were his last words before he walked away.

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You didn’t listen to the man. One bad experience and some rude words weren’t enough to convince you otherwise. In fact, that made you more stubborn and you soon found your way in the Underground once again. This time you carried a knife. Your grandfather had taught you how to throw them and you regretted not bringing one last time.

The day passed by in a blur. The heavy bag full of bread and left-over pastries from your family’s bakery was now empty and you were ready to head back home and take a long bath. But you stopped when you heard a commotion. You bit your lip. You didn’t want to risk getting caught up in something again. But your heart was beating faster and your body felt warmer the closer the sound got and you supposed that there was some supernatural force that was pulling you towards it. Soon enough, you found yourself in the midst of a brutal brawl. The same guy who saved you a few days ago was being ganged up on. He was surprisingly holding his ground, sending lethal punches and kicks his enemies’ way. But you should’ve known they would fight dirty as one of the members sneaked behind the guy and prepared to shoot him in the back.

Your body moved before you even ordered it to, hand grabbing the knife hidden in the pocket of your dress and throwing it. It embedded into the head of the thug and he fell. Everything stopped for awhile. You could see the two members of the group looking at you with both shock and rage. You could see the surprised expression on the guy’s face, his arm up in mid-punch. Then there was a bang and you felt a searing pain in your middle region. Your vision blurred and the last thing you saw was the guy who saved you pummel the remaining members of the gang to death and scream something at you.

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When your eyes fluttered open, they saw an unfamiliar ceiling. Your first instinct was to stand up and run but your body was too tired and the only thing you managed to do was shift and move your head.

“Finally awake?” came in a voice and you gasped as you saw the same guy. Had he saved you? What exactly happened in the first place? You wanted to ask him multiple questions but the one you settled on was:

“Are you all right?”

He shot you an incredulous look.

“You were the one who got shot, dumbass. Worry about yourself,” he grumbled, furrowing his brows and you let out a weak chuckle.

“You are right… You know, we’ve saved each other’s lives so many times already and yet I do not know your name.”

“It’s Levi,” he answered your silent question and you smiled as bright as you could.

“Nice to meet you, Levi! My name is Y/N! Y/F/N!”

His eyes widened a fraction as he stared at you, a spark of what seemed to be recognition, relief and even fondness could be seen deep within. He uncrossed his arms and walked out of the room. You counted the minutes awkwardly, fiddling with your fingers or clenching and unclenching the sheets, before you finally decided to sit up. It was a struggle. The bullet had got you in the upper stomach but apparently he had nursed you back to health. You noticed that your torso was neatly covered in clean bandages as the blankets slid down a bit, making you shiver at the bareness of your arms. You blushed at the thought of him seeing you like this but nothing could be done. And you didn’t care that much about dignity and nudity when it came down to saving lives – others’ or your own.

Your thoughts were interrupted when he walked in the room, carrying a plate with peeled and sliced apples. For a moment, he stood by the doorframe simply watching you, before he made his way towards you and sat on the corner of the bed, placing the plate on your lap and outstretching his other hand. Your eyes fell on what he was holding and you gasped as memories from years ago flooded you.  

The day when you had been so curious you had begged your step-mother to take you with her. She had agreed and you had made your way to the Underground. You had stuck close to her as she walked into what you now knew was a brothel.

❅ 

“Carol! It’s so good to see you!” exclaimed your step-mom and the other woman chuckled as she gave her a hug.

“You didn’t have to bring so much food again. I’m so grateful to have you.”

You smiled as you watched the two women converse but your attention was stolen by a figure in your periphery vision, making you completely turn around. It was a boy. He didn’t seem to be much older than you. He was wearing a ragged shirt that reached his knees and some worn out pants but his hair looked clean and neatly cut. He watched you shyly, interest sparkling in his eyes as he took in your appearance. He had probably never seen a noble in such a place. You smiled and waved at him and he mirrored you after his hesitation worn off. You took a few steps forward and smiled brightly at him.

“Hi, there! What is your name?”

“Levi,” he uttered and you put your hands on your hips. You probably looked ridiculous – a child with lots of baby fat, trying to look and give off a motherly aura.

“You are very thin, Levi. That just can’t do!” you exclaimed in disapproval as you reached into the bag of food your step-mom had brought, taking out a few apples and placing them in your white apron. You neared the boy and beckoned him to take them. “Here, take these! Dad always says that an apple a day keeps the doctor away!” you grinned.

He gulped and his hands trembled a bit when he took the fruits from you, eyes gazing into your own with such gratitude and respect. And because you were so focused on his features, you noticed some smudged dirt on his left cheek. You clicked your tongue as you grabbed a handkerchief from your pocket and proceeded to wipe his face since his arms were busy balancing the apples from falling out of his grip.

“You got some dirt here. It’s very important to stay clean, you know,” you told him gently and he nodded.

“My mother says the same,” he whispered and you smiled as you tucked your handkerchief in his pocket.

“Then you keep this and make sure to stay clean,” you smiled at him before your step-mom called you and you had to bid him goodbye.

“Wait!” he called out and you looked at him over your shoulder. “What’s your name?” he asked timidly and you grinned at him again.

“Y/N! Y/F/N! It was nice meeting you, Levi! I hope we can meet again!”

❅

But you never met him again. When next time your step-mom had returned from her visit and you had asked about the boy, she said he was nowhere to be found but there was a rumor that one of the women working there had passed away and her child had disappeared.

“We meet again,” you sent him a watery smile as tears gathered in the corner of your eyes. You didn’t know why, they just did. You never pegged yourself as an overly emotional person but life was a mysterious companion.

“Yeah,” drawled the man quietly and for the first time since you’ve met, that permanent frown was replaced by a small, soft smile.

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Since that fateful meeting, your visits to the Underground became more frequent. You didn’t only want to do charity but you wanted to visit Levi. He told you to not come back. That it was dangerous. But you didn’t listen. You wore simpler dresses – not the big, intricate gowns. You tied your hair in a simple ponytail or bun – not the stylish hairstyles screaming that their bearer was a noblewoman. You usually never wore jewelry with the exception of the earrings your step-mother had gifted you, but you took them off during your visits, trying to blend in the best way possible. Of course, you were a woman, therefore it was only natural to attract creeps. But you managed to deal with them. You just wanted to help children and see Levi. Was it that much to ask?

“Eeh! There is a body of water this huge? And full of salt!? I cannot believe it!” exclaimed Farlan.

“It’s true! It’s written in a book that’s been banned by the government! Why do you think they banned it if it wasn’t true!?” you shot back.

“So, you mean to tell us that there are also fields of sand and multicolored lights in the sky in North?”asked Levi while he was focusing on polishing his knife.

“I know it may sound too incredible to believe but I know it’s the truth! I just know it! And I’ll go beyond the walls and see it for myself!” you grinned enthusiastically and Levi’s eyes moved from the knife and onto your form, one eyebrow raised in both question and challenge.

“Hooh? And how are you going to do that? By going on lavishing balls in Mitras?”

“By joining the Survey Corps!” you declared and the silence became so heavy that you could cut it with a dull knife. And suddenly, all hell broke loose.

“What?! Are you insane!? You actually want to join them and go fight titans?!” shouted Farlan as he stood up from his chair and you mirrored him, crossing your arms.

“I’d pick the titans ten times over the political wars we’re waging in the capital and all the hypocrisy and backstabbing!”

“You’re gonna get eaten! Do you really want to face such a death?!”

Their shouting match was interrupted by Levi’s almost frighteningly low tone, making them sweat and gulp.

“Oi, brat... Tell me you’re not serious… Tell me you’re just…in a phase or something,” he said as he put the knife on the table, his attention now fully on you. You sighed as you slowly sat back down on the sofa, a sad smile gracing your features as you looked at the two men. You contemplated but in the end you decided that you had to tell them.

“I’ve been serious ever since I saw my mother get eaten years ago,” you confessed and their eyes widened.

“What?” stuttered out Farlan as he slumped back down on the chair.

“I haven’t told you, have I? I was…five when mom…snapped, for a lack of better word… She told me that she wanted to see the outside world and I… I was so excited!” you gripped the fabric of your dress so tight that your knuckles turned white. “We sneaked outside the walls and… I was saved just on time by a Survey Corps soldier… My mom on the other hand,” you uttered, biting the inside of your cheek until it bled. “Shiganshina will always be my hometown. I can’t stay in Mitras. I can’t! My place is not inside the walls.”

“I thought you were… noble,” murmured Farlan and you chuckled.

“That’s half the truth. My father IS the Deputy Commander of the Military Police. Even before that, he was rich and powerful, coming from a family full of soldiers and nobles. The most respected family… One day he met my mom in Shiganshina. He was already married at the time but… One thing led to another and…here I stand,” you explained. “He would send money but I never saw him until…that day,” you gulped but the pain and bad memories were replaced by determination and bravery.

“I’ll join the Survey Corps. I’ll see the outside world. And I swear to you, once I am capable, I’ll get you two citizenship. I won’t let you rot in here,” you stated firmly and the men could only stare at you with both concern and fondness.  

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In the end, you did exactly what you wanted. You joined the Survey Corps after graduating top of your class. At first you were placed in Ness’ squad but after your first expedition and after you showed incredible skills and potential, you were moved to Erwin’s squad. You proved how great of a strategist you were and you showed them your political skills when it came to dealing with the Royal Assembly. That gained you lots of respect from the higher ups within the Survey Corps. You also built a name for yourself as Humanity’s fastest because all fellow soldiers who’ve seen you fight, including veterans, have said that there was no one faster. You didn’t brag though.  

Now, a year later, you were a squad leader yourself and there were rumors that you would be promoted to Captain. You smiled at the thought. You pushed your body and mentality way over the limits to prove yourself worthy as fast and as efficient as possible in order to gain a title – to gain power – because thanks to that it would be easier to save them.

Just hang on for a bit more, Farlan, Levi. I’ll soon be able to get you out of that hole.

Flagon’s fist hit the table as he growled in irritation, interrupting your thought process.

“Quite frankly, this is humiliating!”

“I couldn’t agree more,” nodded another Section Commander by the name of Deckan Caddel. His demeanor seemed calm but his eyes were glinting with a murderous intent. You never liked him. Sure, he was great soldier. But he joined purely out of revenge and bloodlust – because his father was eaten. He didn’t care about protecting Humanity. In fact, he always had such disregard for people, especially those who weren’t from Wall Sina like himself.

“Are you honestly telling us, who have always held formality in high regard, to accept a bunch of criminals?”

You had half a mind to tell him to chill the fuck out but you bit your tongue. Flagon was a good guy beneath his prejudices.

After discussing the newly recruited members and the formation that Erwin suggested, the meeting was over and everyone left. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Deckan ogling you before he walked off. You narrowed your eyes but brushed it off as you made your way to the private quarters aligned with your office and prepared for bed. Tomorrow morning the said criminals would be introduced to the others and it will be decided in which squad they would be put on.

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You were…shocked. The criminals everyone were talking about were none other than Levi and Farlan accompanied by a younger girl. Your mind didn’t even comprehend Commander Shadis’ words or the trio’s introduction. You were too busy staring at them, still unable to process that they were here, donning the noble uniform of the Survey Corps. You gulped down the tears threatening to spill and patiently waited for the introduction to be over. While Flagon was busy with subtly expressing his disdain of the three being placed on his squad and sending sharp glances Erwin’s way, you finally managed to gather the strength to come closer and into their line of sight.

The moment Levi’s eyes clashed with yours, you felt like crying and running to embrace him. Your heart started beating faster and your body warmed up after feeling so cold for literal ages. You didn’t know how this man; why this man; had such an effect on you…but you loved it.

His eyes widened and he subtly elbowed Farlan whose attention shifted to where he was looking at. He wasn’t as subtle as Levi though and his reaction was quite open as he pretty much gawked at you. Both men’s eyes shone brightly with fondness and relief.

Even when everyone were dismissed and allowed to go back to their own business, you didn’t. You quietly followed after Flagon as he walked the new recruits to the barracks.

“You two men will sleep here,” you could hear Flagon instructing them from your place in the hallway. “You lot have been living in the dumps of the Underground but do try to keep this place clean,” your eyes widened comically and you almost choked on thin air. Just as you supposed, Levi’s outraged “huh?” followed right away and he neared Flagon threateningly, breaking his personal bubble.

“W-what’s with that look?” stuttered out the man and you decided to intervene before it had gotten out of control.

“Now, now, Flagon, you used to sleep in those barracks too. But you’ve probably forgotten that they always have been dirty,” came in your voice, making everyone’s heads snap to your direction. Farlan’s lips twitched in a smile but Levi’s face was composed. Flagon clicked his tongue.

“And what are you doing here, Y/L/N?” he asked with a sigh and you shrugged, fully entering the room.

“I just came here to make sure you don’t start a fire or something,” you shot back teasingly and he rolled his eyes before turning his back on everyone.

“I’ll leave you to it. And next time don’t try to approach a commanding officer with such attitude. Maybe Y/N will be able to teach you some manners,” snapped Flagon and Farlan tried to salute respectfully.

“Yes, sir!”

“Your hand’s upside-down! You begin training early tomorrow! I expect you to be punctual!”

The moment Flagon was out of sight and earshot you didn’t hesitate to throw yourself at the two men, hugging them tightly. Farlan was quick to return the embrace but Levi froze for awhile, hesitating, before he awkwardly patted your head as you sobbed.

“It’s you! I can’t believe it!” you pulled away and took a good look at them. “You seem healthy. I’m so happy to see you! I still can’t believe that it’s you who Erwin recruited. He must have seen incredible potential! We have so much to talk about-“ your rambling was interrupted by a coughing, making you face the redheaded girl.

“I think we haven’t officially met! My name’s Isabel Magnolia! Nice to meetcha!” grinned the girl and you smiled at her, shaking her hand.

“My name is Y/F/N. It’s pleasure meeting you! You are probably confused as to how we know one another but I’ll tell you everything!” you hooked your arm around hers and tugged her towards the door. “I’ll show you to the girls’ barracks and,” your gaze flickered to the boys, finding Levi’s and holding his for awhile. “I hope I’ll see you two shortly.”

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You had talked to Isabel until the late hours, telling her about your background, about how you met Levi and Farlan, about your life in the Training Corps and then as a soldier in the Survey Corps. There was so much to talk about and you really wanted to make friends with her since she seemed to be someone very important to Levi and Farlan.

The next day had rolled fast and before you knew it, everyone were up and about – training. The three newbies were to be evaluated today – their skills tested.  

Levi was walking amongst the horses, mind wandering off to the mission at hand. If he wanted it to be successful, he had to play by the Survey Corps rules and one of them was to learn how to ride. Isabel had no problem with it. She seemed to be natural. Then again she has always been an animal lover so he wasn’t surprised at how fast she grasped horse riding. Farlan had some troubles with the horse he had chosen, the mare too feisty for him to handle. And Levi? Well, he still hasn’t chosen one.

“I think she likes you,” came in your gentle tone and he sighed, grateful for the momentary distraction. You came to stand beside him and before he could ask, you pointed ahead, making him focus his vision onto the beautiful black mare that was intently staring at him.

“You know, it’s not only you choosing the horse. The horse has to choose you too,” you told him as you both approached the mare and Levi slowly outstretched his hand, allowing the animal to sniff him before licking it. He smiled when she nudged his hand, beckoning him to caress her.

“Her name is Danika. I raised her,” you smiled and he lifted his eyebrows. “And this is Astaroth. My partner,” you grinned as you pointed to the horse right next to Danika. He was the biggest horse Levi has seen amongst all Survey Corps horses and the only one with such unique coloration.

“He seems a bit…different than the rest,” he mused and you hummed in agreement.

“They had found him outside the walls a bit before I joined. When I tell you he was wild, I mean it. They hadn’t been able to tame him never mind how many times they tried. Then I came and tried. My way. And it worked. He became my partner since then. He’s the strongest and fastest horse in the SC history. Trust me, it’s not easy riding him into battle sometimes but I’ve grown used to it,” you explained and he huffed.

“It’s not only about growing used to it. You yourself are probably a great rider. A natural,” he commented and you shrugged.

“Maybe…Say, do you want to ride together?” you asked and he nodded.

“Sure.”

That’s how you found yourselves riding the horses deep into the forest and away from all the ruckus in the training grounds. You wanted Levi to truly feel and experience the riding and bond with his horse which took some time instead of immediately jumping onto the animal and rushing it into gallop like what most did. And while the silence was comforting, you decided to break it.

“One of the perks about being a part of the Survey Corps is that you get to live surrounded by nature. Just look at it. Look how beautiful and peaceful it is. Fields upon fields and forests upon forest. So much greenery and beauty,” you sighed dreamily and Levi hummed in agreement.

“It’s not bad.”

“At the same time if you get tired of the peace and quiet, you can just roam the halls of the castle or the training grounds and sink into the pleasant noise of soldiers chattering, laughing, eating and training together,” you smiled as you looked at the man. The green shadows the trees cast upon him and the flickering-through-the-trees light bathing him made him look so beautiful, so relaxed…so gentle. Then your thoughts wandered off to a place deeper and darker.

“I still can’t believe that you’re here. That you chose to join the Survey Corps… I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think you guys are ready to be soldiers. Not yet. You need so much training and the expedition is too soon and,” you realized you were rambling so you took a breath and exhaled slowly. “I just…I just feel like Erwin’s offer and your decision will bring some catastrophic consequences. I trust my intuition. It has never failed me.”

“A bit too late for that now,” huffed the man and you bit your lip.

“Why didn’t you wait a bit more for me? I’m sure you calculated almost three years in the Training Corps and then one or so more until I get a higher rank-“

“I thought you were dead,” he interrupted you with a soft, heavy tone that surprised you.

“Eh?”

“There were a few times when I would overhear the MP soldiers talking. They spoke of failed expeditions and death. They mentioned you too. Humanity’s Fastest, huh?” he shot you a wry smile and you blushed but held his gaze as he kept talking, the smile turning into frown. “Not long after, I heard them talking about a particularly nasty expedition that resulted in lots of death. That even you weren’t fast enough to escape.”

“Oh, Levi…It’s…It’s my fault for not finding a way to contact you. Trusting someone blindly and waiting for years is just…not possible or rational,” you looked away and squeezed your eyes, your grip on the reins tightening. Levi shook his head.

“I don’t blame you. It’s not like you could’ve come visit personally or sent letters. So you don’t blame yourself either, brat.”

The following weeks were a pure bliss. You spent all your free time with Levi, Farlan and Isabel, filling them in on everything that had happened throughout the years and helping them adjust to the world above.

But dread came. It came too soon for your liking – in the form of the 23rd Expedition.

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Your squad was mostly responsible for support and defense. Whenever someone shot a black or a purple signal, your squad was to go and assist the squad that had shot the flare.

That’s how you had clashed with Flagon’s squad and you had to combine your strength in order to kill the horde of titans that had appeared suddenly. It was overbearing and a member of your squad was nearly eaten by an abnormal. It was an aggressive abnormal, like nothing you’ve encountered before. Despite the warnings of your squadmates, you had jumped into action, slicing off its hand and entering its mouth in order to grab the girl’s ankle and haul her out. The tongue had been so slippery from the leaking saliva that you had slipped and half of your body had fallen into its mouth. When your arm ceased holding its mouth at bay, it clamped down – not hard enough to snap you in half but hard enough to cut into your meat. Levi had been the one to save you, slashing at the titan and then catching you as you fell once the monster had released you.

Now he was standing awkwardly to the side, fists gripping tightly the handles of the swords, yet shaking, as you were sitting on the ground, back leaning against your horse who had crouched down to serve as your pillar, with the female soldier you had saved wailing and fumbling with the bandages.

“Calm down, dear, it’s not that deep. I just need you to tie the bandages very hard, ok? Like you’re tying a corset,” you encouraged her weakly but her hands seemed to shake even more. Levi tsked as he grabbed them from her hands and shooed her away silently. He grabbed your arm and carefully helped you up, turning you so your back was facing him.

❅

“Wow, Levi, you sure know how to treat gunshot wounds,” you commented as you observed the way he had nursed your injury. It had been a few days since the incident and you were already able to move. The man shrugged.

“Used to it.”

“I have to return home. My family must be worried,” you muttered as you looked apologetically at him. “Do you think you can help me put on my dress? The corset is a pain and it still hurts when I stretch.”

“Tch, come here.”

“Ouch! That’s too tight!”

“Just bear with it.”

❅

He pulled sharply at the bandages, the sound of fabric rubbing harshly against fabric and skin almost sickening as well as the way your waist and belly seemed to become flatter and flatter due to the force and how tight he was tying the bandages around your abdomen. You kept silent. The only thing you allowed were small grunts of discomfort slipping through your lips.

“O-oi, isn’t that too much?” snapped Flagon but you shook your head.

“It’s better than bleeding out. Besides, I need to go to Erwin and the Commander,” you grunted and Flagon furrowed his eyebrows.

“Elaborate.”

“I don’t like this weather. I have a bad feeling about it. It wouldn’t be wise to keep fighting if it starts pouring. It wouldn’t be a problem for the titans but it will be a major hindrance if we cannot see clearly. I’ll go to the center and talk to the Commander,” you explained while Levi finally finished with bandaging you. Your eyes locked and you exchanged gratitude silently. His gaze stayed longer on your form, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concern before he got onto his horse.

“You do have a point. The weather will be very problematic but on the other hand, we cannot cut the expedition so soon. We just left the walls,” reasoned Flagon and you sighed as you climbed on Astaroth. When he felt you on top of him he finally rose to his legs.  

“We can go back and wait until the weather is better, then continue. We are not going to lose anything if we just wait for a bit in Shiganshina.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think that the Royal Assembly will be understanding regarding this matter. They are already up our asses, threatening to defund us at every turn. This will be a good opportunity for them to spit on us yet again,” he growled and you sighed. He had a point, but still…

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about the Royal Assembly. I can deal with them. But I won’t risk the lives of my soldiers and comrades,” you declared firmly and your squad smiled as they looked at you with love and admiration. You were a great leader and you were already thinking and behaving like a Captain. That’s why you were so deserving of this title.

“Let’s go,” you commanded and everyone turned their horses, ready to gallop towards the center.

“Y/N,” Flagon’s voice halted you and you half turned to face him. He had a solemn look on his face. “You can’t save everyone.”

“I can try.”

｡☆ ❅ ★━━━━ ❅ ━━━━★ ❅ ☆｡

Flagon had been right. So right about you not being able to save everyone. You realized that as you stared at Farlan’s body – bitten in half and lying in the mud with his intestines hanging. Or Isabel’s head at Levi’s feet. Flagon and his squad’s bodies were distorted and strewn throughout the field alongside their horses. It was a nightmarish sight to see. Even more so than usual. Who would have known that there would be more aggressive abnormals? You wanted to throw up right here and now but you were too focused on Levi. Levi whose raw, pain-filled, raging screams you had heard just a few minutes ago. Levi who was trying his hardest not to cry, yet his tears were still there mixed with the remnants of the rain droplets. Levi who screamed at Erwin, confessing that his true goal was to kill him before falling to his knees, seemingly giving up on life.

After Erwin spoke to him and left alongside his squad, Levi didn’t move from his position, eyes hidden behind his bangs, but you still knew that they were focused on Isabel’s head, probably flickering onto Farlan. Your squad members looked at you worriedly. You were too still and unresponding. They weren’t used to seeing you like this.

You gulped as you took a few hesitant steps forward, kneeling in the mud beside the broken man. The same man who you now, after this gruesome expedition that almost cost you your life, finally came to realize you held feelings for – feelings stronger than what someone would hold for a friend.

You gently took his bloodied hand and his eyes snapped to you when he finally lifted his head.

“Let’s go home,” you whispered as you sent him a small smile and he lowered his head again. Despite all, he allowed you to hold his hand and help him stand up and lead him to his horse.

The journey back to the walls was silent. Levi was to ride with your squad. You wanted to watch over him. You were at a total loss. You didn’t know what to expect from him. Therefore you didn’t know what would be the best way to comfort him. One thing was for sure. You had to be ready for him acting like a cold dick and trying to push you away. You supposed that with personality like his, that behavior was to be expected.

｡☆ ❅ ★━━━━ ❅ ━━━━★ ❅ ☆｡

And you had been completely wrong. He didn’t do anything like that. He didn’t push you away. He wasn’t cold. In fact, it was the total opposite. He accepted your comfort. He accepted your affection, albeit hesitantly. He allowed you to be near him and make him company. You didn’t talk much. Just being near one another was enough.

He thought that you were the only person he had left now. Like hell was he going to push you away. He wanted to be strong and go through this alone. He didn’t want to burden you with his pain. He knew you were suffering too. Yet deep down he bitterly admitted that he needed you to be there for him. He needed you to hold him. He needed your reassuring words and your company that soothed the aching throb in his soul.

❅ 

“Do you believe in reincarnation, Levi?” you asked him one night as the two of you were seated on the rooftop, staring into the skies.

“I don’t know anymore,” he whispered.

“I do. I believe that this body is just a shell and when it crumbles, our soul leaves and finds another one, either on this world or on another. Just look at the sky! It’s so huge! And I’m sure that there is more behind it, the further you go. Worlds upon worlds,” you smiled breathlessly and he raised his eyebrows, looking at the stars intently, as if trying to see beyond them the worlds you were speaking of. “I like to believe that all my friends who die get reincarnated into a world beautiful and free of titans and get to live normal and happy lives. That’s why I think that there is a certain beauty and relief to death, even if it hurts so much.”

“It doesn’t sound half bad,” he breathed out and you gave him one of those warm smiles that poured light into his heart. The type of smiles that almost had him smile back.

❅

He was probably exaggerating but from now on, you truly were…

His everything.

He didn’t care about anyone else. Why should he? It’s not like they cared either. In fact, they kept calling him a criminal. They kept being rude and condescending, mocking him at every turn. Hange, Erwing and Mike were the only exceptions so far, willing to befriend him and actually putting an effort in doing so. And you of course. The rest of the higher ups kept quiet so he didn’t know how they felt about him. But out of all, there WAS one bastard that just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He always went overboard with his insults and disrespect that even some of the cadets who used to hate Levi thought it was barbaric and had a change of heart regarding the matters.

Yeah. His name?

Deckan Caddel.

But you? You were brilliant. Every time Deckan would insult Levi openly, you would jump in his defense and insult the bastard just as fiercely which would make him glare dangerously at you before storming out. Levi always berated you.

“Tch, I don’t want you getting in trouble, dumbass. It’s not worth it.”

But to you it was more than worth it. So you fought. You fought for Levi.

And everything was good until one night, after waking up from a particularly nasty nightmare, you had rushed out of the comforts of your personal quarters and down the hallways. You wanted to go all the way to the male barracks and seek Levi’s comfort but a figure had halted your journey, making you stumble and almost fall down the stairs if a large hand hadn’t grabbed your arm roughly, shoving you against the stone wall.

“And just where is the little slut going?” taunted Deckan and you wriggled, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Let me go!”

“Nah, I don’t think so. Just who do you think you are, huh, little girl?” his voice sent shivers down your spine as his hands held your wrists so tight you swore you heard the bone crack. “I don’t care whether that sewer rat is your lover or your fuck buddy. You aren’t a Captain yet. So if you continue to oppose me and publically humiliate me just to defend him… I’ll make sure to break the life out of you, you hear me?” he growled as his knee slammed into your abdomen, causing you to groan in pain and cough out bits of blood. Said knee then slid down and came to rest between your legs, pressing onto your crotch and making your eyes widen in panic as your struggling became more fierce. “I’ll break you in every single way,” he drawled and his other hand went to grab your chin, squeezing it tightly. “And then I’ll make sure to suspend you from the Survey Corps,” he spat out and your eyes widened. “Or better yet. Now that I think about it, an accidental fall down the stairs might just do the job for me,” he smirked deviously and you gulped, anticipating his next crazy move.

Before any of you could do anything, a hand shot out from the darkness. It grabbed Deckan’s collar and harshly pulled, causing the man to steer off balance and lose his footing. You watched with a combination of relief and horror how everything happened as if in slow motion – him outstretching his hand in order to grab onto something, his body going further away from you before hitting the stone and proceeding to roll down. A thud was heard some seconds later, followed by a painful groan.

Then the sound of someone’s kick connecting with someone’s jaw echoed through the hallway, finally snapping you out of your stupor as you looked down to see Levi crouching down next to a beaten and bloody Deckan who was barely conscious.

“Touch her again and during the next expedition I’ll personally shove you into a titan’s mouth. I’m done with being silent and taking your shit, you filthy swine,” growled Levi and Deckan could only look in fear through his swollen eyes, barely nodding his head. Levi tsked before he climbed the stairs once again, taking your hand and quickly leading you into your office.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered as he closed and locked the door.

“So I should’ve let that mongrel push you down the stairs?” he spat out and you shook your head. “He deserved what he got. I don’t regret my decision.”

“No, but-“

“Don’t! Just…don’t…” yelled Levi before his voice settled into a pained groan, almost cracking as his head lowered letting the bangs cover his eyes, his body slouching against the door. You knew that look. The vulnerable look. “Please, don’t get hurt…not because of me,” he mumbled. “It’s not worth it.”

You frowned as you approached him. Without hesitation, you took his face into your hands and kissed his forehead before you settled his head onto your chest, arms engulfing his form.

“How many times do I have to say it? I’ll die for you if I have to. Because it is worth it. It is worth it if it’s for your sake,” you whispered into his ear as one hand went to stroke his hair and he relaxed in your embrace, sighing softly as his own arms went around your body, pulling you even closer.

“Live for me instead.”

❅

❅

❅

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

19 for the Silm ask!

[those silm asks as are doing the rounds]

19. you get to save one character from dying. what would they do instead?

the way i see it, there are three possible directions i could take this question

THE STRATEGIC OPTION - finwë. if finwë doesn’t die at minute one, that cuts off about 90% of the early noldorin drama and probably prevents the oath from being a thing? he’s probably the only guy in the universe who could get fëanor to shut up at this point, and is also a big non-controversial boss noldo who ain’t gonna start any civil wars. there’d probably still be trouble with the valar, on account of they have super broken the protect-you-from-melkor deal, but i do think finwë would handle that better than his dipshit sons. also both olwë and thingol will probably be willing to negotiate with him. there’d probably still be shenanigans, morgoth’s done a lot to drive a wedge between the noldor, but with finwë at the helm there’ll probably be much less collateral damage. besides, i am of the firm conviction that finwë was an absolute lunatic who if given the slightest chance to go as turbo as his grandkids went in canon would be perfectly capable of soloing morgoth

(how am i saving him, anyway? is there, like, an extradimensional portal i pull him through and we wait until ungoliant is gone? because if i am, i’d probably use the time to brief him on the upcoming situation. i know maybe ten words of quenya, but i feel like we could work around that. maybe with diagrams...)

THE INTERESTING COUNTERFACTUAL OPTION - denethor, the first one. if he survives the initial morgoth fight - not only do we have a nandorin power base in east beleriand, which sounds like it’d do all sorts of fun things to continental politics, but i half-remember reading that it was partially because of denethor’s death that thingol went full isolationist? so if he survives, we potentially have a much more active doriath, with a thingol at least willing to hold his own. that sounds like it’d affect the arc of the first age a lot, maybe not leaving all the enemy-fighting to the noldorin armies? i’m not really a butterfly-effect alternate-mythohistory fëanorian stan, but denethor living and holding the green-elves together sounds like it’d affect the course of events in interesting ways, if not necessarily better ones

THE CHAOS OPTION - fëanor, under the specific stipulation that when he inevitably gets his dumb ass killed i get to save him all over again. fëanor is the kind of character i like to watch just to see what crazy thing they’ll do next and how big the ensuing blast radius is. it would be terrible, for everyone, but from a safe distance seeing what fëanor does to beleriand will be an absolute spectacle. the explosions! the mecha! the inevitable fëanor-vs-every-single-other-person-on-the-continent war! i would watch this religiously and take bets on how fast he’ll burn beleriand down. there is a risk that he’ll figure out how my save-from-death portals work and subsequently invade the real world, but hey, this is the chaos option

[thefriskypanda]

Hi! How are you doing? I hope you're doing well! This is my first request so tell me if I'm not following the rules. I'd like to ask for a one-shot reiju x fem reader where the reader is a straw hat. Thank you very much😊

Your request was ok! It was a real challenge to write this since the Whole Cake arc was really, really complicated and every time Reiju appears it’s an important scene in the story, but I love her <3. Hope you like it!

Warnings: spoilers for the mentioned arc, mentions of Reiju’s leg injury | this is a sfw one shot, but miiiiiight make a 2nd part when I get some inspiration on how to include the reader in another interaction with our beloved princess.

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

The first encounter with the Germa 66 was completely unexpected. No one was mentally prepared to meet Sanji’s family when they made their appearance. Not when your captain was just about to die from poisoning. It was even more shocking when the pink-haired woman jumped aboard the Thousand Sunny, landing just a mere feet away from you, besides Luffy’s body. Her blue eyes scanned his body, quickly identifying the venom in his system. Your own gaze focused on her form, wary of what she could do, but at the same time mesmerized by her astonishing beauty and elegance. 

An audible gasp left your mouth when she lowered her head and began sucking the substance from your captain’s own mouth. It was a rollercoaster of emotions: admiration, for discovering someone capable of kissing him, of all people. Disgust, for seeing someone kissing him. Annoyance, at Chopper and Brook obnoxious screaming. Worry, for not knowing what the poison could do to her body. Confusion, when the wings in her attire began to react and the rash appeared in her cheeks. Her cheeks… You couldn’t help but wonder if her skin was as soft as it looked, making heat rush through your own.

Once she broke the contact, your eyes darted to her parted lips as steam seemed to escape from her glossy mouth. This didn’t go unnoticed by her, so as she stood up to allow Chopper to examine Luffy, she was looking directly into you, winking once she presented herself as “Poison Pink”. The world seemed to have stopped for a brief second. You simply stood there while your crewmates cried over Luffy’s miraculous recovery. “Did she just wink at... me?” A strange sensation settled down in the pit of your stomach, wondering why she noticed the woman with the most ghost-like aura of the entire crew. You didn’t even have a bounty to begin with.

Almost fainting at your own thoughts, you quietly listened to her interactions with the rest of the crew, secretly hoping that she could direct her attention to you once more. But you had to concentrate, you were currently on a mission to save Sanji, her brother. This wasn’t the moment to fall for your heart’s desires.

Despite your brief moment of determination, all you could think about was her silky looking hair, her long, defined legs, her beautiful blue eyes, and her plump, seducing lips. Getting her out of your mind was going to be harder than you thought.

…

…

…

…

…

And it was. Even after all you went through the following days, running into Pudding herself, trying to cross the Seducing Woods without dying in the hands of Cracker and Brulee or even when you witnessed the heartbreaking fight between Sanji and Luffy, you found yourself constantly thinking about her, sneaking glances in her direction, secretly hoping that she would interfere once again. But she didn’t. 

You barely managed to slip away from the gruesome encounter against the Charlotte family without being noticed. Too discrete to be caught, yet too tired to run too far away. You barely managed to hide beneath some of the severed remains of King Baum before collapsing to the ground, consciousness slowly leaving your body while you could only watch your crewmates being brutally crushed and captured by your enemies.

Heavy drops of water constantly fell on your face, managing to wake you up in the middle of the night. I took you a few seconds to remember what happened and where you were, scanning your surroundings to make sure it was safe to get out. With trembling limbs, you managed to quietly get up, still wary in case someone saw you. Fortunately, it was too dark and rainy to be seen, so you decided on being brave, making your way to the castle in an attempt to find any of your currently lost crewmates.

“This is my lucky night!” you thought, as you soon found yourself just a few meters away from Pudding’s own bedroom window and right in front of her, was the woman of your dreams: Reiju herself, but your hopes quickly shattered when you saw the bleeding wound in her leg and the brunette laughing in her face. You couldn’t even process what you were seeing before sensing footsteps coming in your direction. Quickly enough, you hid between the bushes nearby, surprised to see a gleaming Sanji with a bouquet of flowers and a basket.

Your heart clenched, he had betrayed your captain, no, your entire crew just this evening, and now he seemed so happy… And to add more to your feelings your crush was also injured and trapped inside a room with a potential psychopath. Unaware of your presence, Sanji began paying attention to what was going on inside the room, and so did you. 

The truth came crashing into both of you like a meteorite. Damn Pudding and her lunatic family. Now not only were your crewmates in danger, but the entire Vinsmoke family was planned to be murdered. You knew there was no way out of this situation if you were to continue being separated, so you hesitantly took a step out and showed yourself in front of the blonde. His soaked eyes met yours in silent, mutual understanding. No words needed to be said in the moment.

Eventually, Sanji helped you get inside the castle. He was a bit shocked that you had already met Reiju, and his mood lightened a bit when you told him you had a crush on his sister, happy that at least you found someone as trustworthy and good hearted as her.

After sneaking inside the infirmary, Reiju soon woke up, surprised to see you and her dear brother there, but then she remembered her injured leg. Then, Sanji and Reiju exchanged what they both knew. It felt awkward for you, this was a matter that involved them as a family, you didn’t even know what to say, glad that for now, they had seemed to forget about you. During these few minutes of them talking, you learned more about both of them than you had ever dreamed of. The way Reiju spoke her mind about her family and her wishes for her brother, only made you fall deeper for her.

A smooth voice brought you out of your daze “Hey, are you alright?” Lifting your head, you realized that Sanji had already left, too busy with his own mind to even remember you were also there. You felt your cheeks burning at the realization that you were now alone with the very same woman who had been plaguing your mind this entire time. Shyly, you averted her eyes, she was quietly observing you, her magnificent eyes scanned your form. Once again, you were in an awkward position, what were you supposed to tell her? You certainly weren’t fine, every muscle in your body was sore from running and passing out in the ground under a tree, your poor heart had also felt too many strong emotions, which brought you to the verge of tears again.

With a kind smile, Reiju motioned you to walk over to her bed. Curious of what she could possibly want from you, you swiftly approached her, almost tumbling over when her hand suddenly grabbed your arm and bent you over to her face level. Your shocked expression amused her, making her release a soft giggle before tenderly cupping your face with both hands.

“How rude of my little brother to leave behind such a lovely lady” Her right thumb began to slowly rub your skin, giving herself time to think what to say next, but before she could continue, your mouth moved on its own. “May I give you a kiss?” Not expecting her to take you seriously, your surprise was big when her soft, warm lips pressed against yours. The contact only lasted a few seconds, but to you, it felt like traveling to another dimension and coming back.

“I certainly didn’t expect you to be so bold, but I’m glad you asked. You’ve been living in my mind ever since we met the other day. Maybe it’s just a momentary thing, maybe it can be something else, but as you already know, everything will end tomorrow for us.” You quietly listened to her words, understanding what she meant. “I think you should go, perhaps you can catch up with Sanji in the hallways. You need to reunite with your friends. Please, take care, and take care of my dear brother as well” A sigh left your chest once she finished.

Taking her hand into yours, you deposited a small kiss on its back, muttering a soft “As you wish, my princess” before heading to the door.

“Wait. As my last wish, I want to know your name.” 

Without turning, you simply said “I’ll tell you tomorrow” and walked out the door. 

Your mission was now to find your crewmates and stop the wedding at all costs. It wasn’t an option.

[yurissweettooth]

if you'd like to talk about yuri more, what do you think about kotetsu/yuri? I love this ship, I love their brief enemies working together moment when yuri saved kotetsu in s1 (and got hurt in the process!). your elaboration on yuri liking kotetsu post was super fun to read. alternatively if you're more meh about this ship, why do you ship barnaby/yuri? I remember your post from a while ago that you enjoy kotetsu/barnaby content in the show but get more into rarer ships with background characters in fanon setting, I'm often the same!

Hi! Thank you for the ask! ^^ Sorry that it actually ended up taking a while for me to respond, I asked if anyone wanted to talk about Yuri but then I got hit with five million life things before I got the chance to respond to anyone skljflk

Anyway, I will now answer both of these questions😊 Sorry, you know me, this is gonna get really long lol

Firstly, I actually love Tigerlily! I think their dynamic is primed for a deliciously well balanced mixture of angst, comedy, tension, and soft tender moments. I genuinely think if anyone would be able to get through to Yuri it would be Kotetsu, he just has that sort of persistence and understanding nature. Plus, Yuri seems fascinated (or maybe just completely baffled by) Kotetsu and seems to show some respect for his approach to justice and heroism, even if it still goes against his own values. So even in canon they already have that going for them! I have said it before but annoying/annoyed is one of my favorite ship dynamics. I think Kotetsu would really get on Yuri's nerves a lot but in a way that Yuri would find endearing because that's part of him and he loves him, plus he's not hurting anyone. I think in some ways the role could flip too with Kotetsu being annoyed by Yuri's serious, uptight nature but knowing that he only nags so much because he cares. And then obvious spicy conflicts like the whole Legend ordeal, the fact that it's the two of them who are always going head to head out in the field, etc. which are always a fun time 😌 Furthermore... dad Yuri... 🥺I think he would make a good, if awkward, dad to Kaede. I think a different side of him would come out when he's around her since he'd likely want to be the type of father he wished he'd head. I think tigerlily is such a cute ship, I actually think about them a fair amount. Please feel free to share your thoughts on this(or any T&B ships!) any time, I love to hear people's thoughts and them gushing about their faves! This goes for everyone of course!😄 As for Bunny/Yuri, I like them for the opposite reason I like Tigerlily which is that they're actually very similar in interests and personality. You can read about my thoughts on them under the cut ^^

They both like opera and classical, they both a little more on the refined side, they both talk to their plants, they have both experienced childhood trauma that stems back to Maverick, both of them have lost one of their parents, they're both quite intelligent and perceptive, they're loners who don't trust others or see the values in friendships, and the list goes on! Not to mention that Barnaby was so close to walking down the same path that Yuri did which is always a fun AU to think about! Additionally, Yuri is shown to take a lot of interest in Barnaby (likely seeing him as someone who might understand his point of view and server "true" justice alongside him) such as in the Beginning novel where he's standing around during the company party and repeating "where is he?" in his head over and over while looking for him or in the NTA manga where he outright tries to encouraging to kill the person Barnaby thinks killed his parents (...as judge Petrov. Real subtle Yuri slkjflk). There's a lot of potential for various different dynamics Barnaby becoming a vigilante himself, him being reluctantly understanding of Yuri but never giving up on trying to stop him in the act, or even Yuri quietly discarding Lunatic and putting that in his past once he's healed. I think part of why it's my favorite ship is that a lot of it feels very cathartic. Two broken people with tunnel vision for their goals finding someone who understands them and slowly coming out of their shells around eachother. I think it would be very healing for both of them to find someone that understands the pain, heartbreak, and betrayal they've faced. I also like the idea of them finally coming out of their shells around eachother because they're both little weirdos with similar interests that others around them might not get.

[house-of-cakes]

Jamais Vu 

Masterlist || Series Masterlist 

Prev || Next

Chapter 17:  Gimme! Gimme! Gimme

Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU

Word count: 2164

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of slight bullying

Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.

I feel so bad posting late that I wrote a bonus chapter 😅 the extra chapter will be out this weekend.

If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊

Tagged list: @inspinkyring @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe  @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716  @thesweetest-peas @sannsia​

Bright flashing lights…catchy retro theme songs…the loud cheers of victory from teenage boys and girls defeating their opponents – these were the ingredients that made up Y/N’s favourite place in the world. While Namjoon found comfort on the stage, she felt most at home under the glowing neon lights of Reload.

A few years ago, Y/N had found the arcade a by chance after she had “run away” from home. She had just had an argument with her mother about her appearance and after countless moments of nagging and insults she had finally snapped and left home without permission…it was her first act of rebellion.  

Y/N’s mother was fixated on looks and how a “lady” should behave and present themselves. She always claimed that Y/N she be focusing on her physical imagine instead of having her face hidden behind a computer screen. It killed her mother that her youngest child spent all of her free time working in a place she deemed to be so juvenile. Y/N knew this for a fact and if she was being honest it only added to the appeal of working there. The job didn’t pay much nonetheless she loved it just as much as she did the Magic Shop.

A young boy runs through the arcade and finds Y/N sat on top of an air hockey table (a privilege that only she was allowed). Her attention is focused on her phone, trying to keep tabs on her best friends who are working a job without her. It was not very often that she could not attend an appointment however her elderly boss had caught a cold and there was no one else to cover the busy Friday night shift.

“Noona.” The soft whimper of the young boy catches her attention. “What’s wrong, buddy?” She jumps off the table and kneels so that she is eye level with the child “A-an older-r b-boy…” his words are choppy as his small body shakes with sobs “Stole my game.” “That wasn’t very nice of him. Can you point him out so Noona can have a chat with him.” The little boy continues to whimper but with some comforting words of reassurance and 5 free game tokens, she is able to convince him to point in the direction of the most popular first-person shooter game towards the back of the arcade.

“Thank buddy, that was very brave of you. I promise you in 10 minutes the game will be free for you to play.” She wipes the last of his tears and ruffles his hair for good measure “Come find me soon, ok?” The boy sniffling boy nods as Y/N quickly makes her way to the other side of the room.

At the game Y/N stands off to the side of the machine and pauses to analyse the teenage boy and his skill. The teen would get easily flustered each time a surge of villains would rush after his character and he would frequently let out a string of cuss words whenever he missed his mark, he was an amateur and it showed.

Suddenly his life bar at the top right of he screen started flashing, indicating that his game would soon end if he was not careful with his energy. This must have been enough motivation for him to focus better because his kill streak went from 3 to 9 in almost an instance.  A wicked plan formed in Y/N’s head as she he went in for the last shot of the level.

“Hey!” she called out to him causing him to flinch and miss his target. This caused a fatal error as the enemy on screen took the opportunity to shoot his character right in the face. The teen let out a sound of frustration as the screen read ‘Game Over’ in giant letters and request more tokens to continue. Y/N waited for him to insert the coins before making her presence known in front of him.

“You stupid bitch! You made me lose my game.” He grumbled and lift his gun to continue playing. Y/N reached over to the power point behind the game and switched it off.

“Get the fuck out of my arcade.” She spat and point towards the exit “Reload has a strict no bullying policy so don’t think for a second you’re getting a refund on those tokens.” The teen didn’t bother arguing, he has realised his mistake when he figured out who she was and walked away looking rather embarrassed he had been called out in front of everyone on a busy Friday night. He was sure his class mates would all be talking about it come Monday morning.

The screen of the machine flickered back to life as Y/N switched the power back on, she waited to make sure that the unexpected reboot did not affect the game. The download bar reached the end of the bar and loaded the high score screen. She read over the listed and frowned when she got to a name that had been annoying her lately – Nochu.

This Nochu person had climb two positions high on the leader board since the last time she had checked this game and the achievement displeased her. That name was popping up on the leader boards of many games recently and while she did not feel her abilities were being threatened, she was annoyed that she could not put a face to this person.

Hours later back at the Kim residence, the two cousins enjoy the cooling weather on their porch as Jin attempts to tune his guitar by ear.

“The Basement wasn’t closed tonight.” Jungkook states when he scrolls through his Instagram feed and comes across a new post by the club “I never said it was.” Jin pays no attention to his cousin, instead he fiddles with the knobs at the head of guitar and plucks at a string once he believes he’s tightened the key enough. The sound rings out and the pitch is too high. “So why did we go to Reload instead?” Jin repeats the process with the chord again, the pitch is closer to where its supposed to be however the sound is still off. “None of the guys had a battle or a performance tonight.” He explained as he plucked at the string again and again, trying to pin point why it sounded wrong “And Y/N had to work, so we decided to hang with her instead.” “So we went for Y/N?” Jungkook tone was accusatory “No one forced you to tag along.” Jin fired back, he had stopped trying to tune the guitar to face him “She’s always supports the guys at the Basement, sometimes we repay the favour by making an appearance there to help drum up business.” Jungkook scoffed “You told me Reload was popular because she attracts people with her skills…if that’s the case why would she need you guys?” “She doesn’t need us at all.” Jin moved his guitar from his lap and lent it against his seat. He was frustrated with it and this conversation was adding to the stress.  “That’s the thing about having a good relationship with people…you do things to support them, even when they don’t ask.” “Oh yeah? If she’s so good why is she only ranked second on all the high scores.” Jin rolled his eyes at his cousin, he was being petty again and completely missed the point he was trying to make. “Mr S.K?” Jungkook nodded in confirmation.

Jungkook was becoming a regular at Reload and it was evident to him that Mr S.K was clearly the real champion of the joint. The guy had dominated every game of the arcade by holding highest score and while Y/N’s name always sat below his, her score was always miles away from meeting his. To Jungkook this was clearly another instance of Y/N receiving praise and adoration where it was not merited… it was Mr S.K who deserved to celebrated and yet it was Y/N who stole his popularity. If he had to come up with an explanation as to how this occurred, he would bet all his money it was because Y/N was considered to be “beautiful”.

“Mr S.K has held the top for as long as anyone can remember. There’s no mystery to who he is…He’s obviously the owner of the arcade.”  Jin windshield wiper boomed out and filled the stillness of the night as his cousin’s face fell. 

Jungkook pondered on the last few weeks, there was so much background information he didn’t know and for some reason his brain chose to fill in the gaps by somehow hating on Y/N.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car blaring loud music as it sped up and down the street.

“What the fuck is going?!” Jungkook exclaimed as he stood from his seat and made his way to the top of the porch stairs to get a better look at car. “Ah my Angel is home!” Jin jumped up and went to stand next to Jungkook. “Does she always carry on like this? She drives like a dipshit.” “Nah, that’s not even her driving. You see a while back she got caught at the illegal races, her parents made her sell her car as punishment... She must have gotten into a fight with her mother, this is how she always gets back her.”  

The car finally stopped doing laps down the street and pulled up into Y/N’s drive away. The pair watched as Y/N jumped out of the passenger side of the car and wave to the driver as they pulled away from the house. She was still unaware that she was being watched by them

“Hey Brat!” Jin called out, capturing her attention “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not take rides from strangers?”

Jungkook’s breathe hitched at the thought of Y/N allowing herself to be in a car with a stranger, especially someone who drove like a lunatic. He didn’t catch a glimpse of the driver but surely, she wasn’t reckless enough to put herself in such a dangerous situation…was she?

“She did, that’s what make’s it all the better.” Y/N bantered on smugly, Jungkook couldn’t figure out if she was joking or not. “Well it’s past your bed time young lady, you march right on inside and get right to bed.”  Y/N let out a sound of fake indignation and clutch her hand to her check overdramatically. “To think I raced all the way here with a surprise and this is how you treat me? You really are such a punk!” “A surprise?!” Jin’s eyebrows shot up in excitement, the façade dropped immediately. Everyone knew she gave the best surprises. “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” he demanded and waved her over to them. Y/N laughed at his eagerness and rummaged through her bag as she closed the distance between them.

“Sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it.” She purposely handed him a grey game cartridge face down so there was some kind of element of surprise to the gift. His eyes widen comically when he turned it over and read the title of the game. “Y/N…is this…??” For the first time in Jungkook’s life he had seen his loud mouth cousin speechless. “Yah! Don’t make a big deal of it.” She tried to brush it off “Consider it an extremely late birthday gift.” “Not a big deal? This is the original Super Mario Bros 3! I played this game every day as a kid then this idiot blew it up somehow.” He nodded his head in Jungkook’s direction who rolled his eyes in response.

The incident happened years ago and he still hadn’t heard the end of it, he pretended like it didn’t bother him but deep down he felt so bad for accidentally destroying something his cousin held so dear to him.

“I’ve been trying to find it ever since! This must have cost you a fortune.” “Like I said…it’s no big deal. I was cleaning out storage at work and found it packed away, we never got round to fixing game console for it so the boss-man was nice enough to let me have it.”

That was a bold-faced lie.

Y/N had known about the sentimental significance this game had to Jin and went in search for it many months before his birthday. She only managed to get the game after she traded a set of mint condition baseball cards, she had acquired as collateral when a client fell through their end of a deal.

“Y/NIEEE this is why you’re my angel! Thank you so much.” He pulled her towards him and wrapped her up in a big bear hug. Jungkook felt out of place as he watched Y/N shriek and attempt to struggle out of his grip as he showered her with love…he could help but feel jealous of the fact that she could fix a mistake that he had made so long ago.

[papers4me]

Fascinating concepts in Golden Kamuy Manga ( part 2)

In part 1, I listed 3 concepts that I find intriguing in Golden Kamuy ( GK), I provided short explanation of these concepts but due to issues of space couldn’t provide more examples. The previous 3 concepts were: (1). Broken men of war & death, (2) Fun dynamics & journey companion  does not equal close friendships, & (3) Perspective is where characters are truly at. In total I have 9 concepts but intend to post 3 at a time. So, here we go~

4. What breaks men of war: ( emotional ties)

in my previous post, I’ve mentioned that these men of war are not fazed by death & some are even obsessed with it. goldenkamuyhunting has kindly added that they are affected by the death of those whom they’re emotionally connected to, and provided examples. very true. However, I want to look at this concept from another perspective. As much as the constant brush with death has hardened their hearts & stole chunks of their humanity, all the characters are still human. Their humanity isn’t mostly displayed in how they treat strangers/ enemies, or men on the other side, it is presented on how easily they crumble down once you press the right button: their loved ones. They have strong emotional ties that can break them down, even now after they’ve become so drenched in blood. These ties are mostly connected to ppl who are the reason of their current perspective or their past selves. Sugimoto, the ruthless, breaks down in tears at the memory of toraji, at the idea of failing Yumi, at the thought seeing Asripa become like him: a killer. These emotional ties break him into tears & self loathing frenzy. Sadistic Nikaidou not only mourn his brother, but becomes a shell of a man, delusional, erratic, addicted to drugs & hollow. Tsukishima, Tsurumi’s right hand who kills with no hesitation, becomes all sorts of mess at the thought of Igogusa: anger, tears, loss, despair, explosive rage, self-loath coupled with low self-esteem. Tsurumi himself, the man who fondly remember running thro rain of blood, was so affected by the murder of his wife & daughter to the point of not being able to restrain himself. (many examples) but the point is, I applaud the writer for not going the path of writing these characters as emotionless hard cold blooded war veterans. They have emotions & can break into sobs. You might think they’re unable to form new emotional ties, but some can, sugimoto formed healthy independent ties with shirashi! But the issue is not the new ties. The real issue is these men of war not yet dealing with the old emotional ties from their past. Those ties are eating them from the inside. The pain is still raw!

5. Excellent portrayal of unstable psyche:

Some of these men, due to the past emotional ties, have developed unstable thinking & deep troubling thought process & reasoning coupled with the ugly brutality of war. Other writers will simply write men such as Tsurumi or Ogata as mad guys, crazy & lunatic. But Noda chose a deeper more logical & intriguing approach. Their behavior shows elements of unstable & deeply trouble thinking; little boy Ogata poisoning his mother & Tsurumi’s infatuation of being a soul snatching shinigami. What they have done is unexcused & cannot be corrected. However, they are not mindless lunatics. Both characters are mysterious & rarely allowed to have inner monologue abt their true goal. Both play on different sides & have gone through some personal journey to solidify their nihilistic belief. Both goes even deeper into the depth of seemingly unstable thought process. Ogata, lacking family love, questions the concept of pity, mercy & compassion. Embarks on a journey to prove that he’s not alone in feeling no guilt over human death. That his tragic thinking is not up-normal. Other ppl exist like me. ppl other than weird Usami. Nothing is wrong with me, so father should accept me. So tragic. Yet Ogata even with this unstable thinking is portrayed as smart with analytic thinking, skilled, seemingly not swayed by manipulators & very perceptive! Same goes for Tsurumi, extremely manipulated, cunning, intelligent & sweet talker, but was shown as a loving father as he held his daughter in his hand in most of his Japanese language teaching scenes with wilk in Russia. His family’s death deeply troubled him & changed him into the monster he’s currently is. Obsessed with their bones. Not mourning them yet. His position as the story’s villain adds to this but in a very balanced way. There are more examples, such as Usami & a number of the tattooed convicts. But the point is the writer treats the characters as human, who are capable of unstable obsession & thinking, yet can display normal behavior & excellent logical thinking as well.

( btw: I’m not putting any character with the same scale as the other, or saying they’re equal or identical. They are NOT.  I’m simply looking at a ting aspect from their behavior in light of the concept they share) 

6. No heroes:

I duno abt you. But I don’t sense that this is a story of a bunch of alliances saving the day against the big baddie. I could be wrong tho. But this story has sth that is lacking from most stories, which is: each side have winning points as much as loosing points. Meaning each side has arguments that can lead to their logical success as much as arguments that sheds some light on the holes in their plans. Even the argument that says minority groups should have their own land with their own culture, while very just in concept, the application is quite complicated. A group of ppl with no strong army sitting on a land of rich resources won’t be left alone by other nations. It never happened in the real world, & while GK is fiction, it is safe to say that Noda is aware of this as he made Tsurimi himself point this out in ch,271. Even if the minority groups get their land, they can’t preserve their own culture if they continue their old ways without adapting into new generations & without reaching out to the outside world. Once again Trsumi pointed this out while talking abt japan itself. I duno how Noda plans to solve this. But This is not even exclusive to the Auni/Japan/Russia situation. Again, the story itself is way bigger than that. Each character is not even the hero of their own story. Asirpa’s trauma of finding herself shouldering the burden of an entire culture while struggling to have a normal selfish goal like any normal girl. Sugimoto becoming her body guard while she solves an issue that he himself isn’t that much interested in! he just wanted her to be happy. More importantly he wants her to NOT be like him. Living thro Asripa while he should be trying to figure out his own path, rather than looking for salvation thro the innocent angelic Asipra or becoming a human skinning tool to get the money for Ume’s eyes treatment when she herself never asked him to! Tsukushima, desperately trying to believe that there’s at least some bigger picture good for following Trsurmi, that all the years of blood stinky hands can mean sth, somehow, in the future, so may examples. But I love the concept of grey characters so dearly, no heroes, no angels.

Disclaimer:

I know my explanation for each argument & each concept & the examples I provide can be misunderstood. But I assure you that each time I provide an example, I’m looking at a tiny aspect of a deeply complex & intriguing character that cannot be summarized into one or two concepts & is bigger than to be compared to other characters as well. Each concept is shared by a number of characters but with different approach, level & reasoning behind it. If I want to discuss a certain character in depth, I’ll do that in a post dedicated for them  alone.

Lastly, This is just a fraction of my personal opinion abt the story & characters. I’m not claiming this is how they are truly written or this how Noda intended it or even that you should share my thoughts. I just think this manga is so darn good & rich with fascinating characters!