#REALLY interesting stuff got revealed though.... i have a lot of things answered but also a LOTTTTTT of questions

[faehelmet]

mandela catalogue volume 4. gabriel turns into the fucking joker

[ghostchems]

infernal - terzo x f!reader - part five

art by the incredibly talented @piaart!

author’s note: finally have this finished but man is it hard to be satisfied. i keep wanting to work on it and work on it but i also really wanted to get this out! also don't even know if this is good teehee. lots of awkward here. 4.9k words. part one/two/three/four. ao3 linky.

The date is going surprisingly well. You chose an Italian spot (ha!) and have had your fill of lobster ravioli and Cabernet Sauvignon all while you learned more about Dylan since he graduated high school. Went to a state school in the middle of bumblefuck, drank and drank some more, got overly into the college culture (emphasis on cult) and tipped a few cows in his time. It aligns perfectly with the slivers of information Catherine gave you through the years, though he’s mentioned nothing of the steady college girlfriend he supposedly had. Interesting. You laugh at his dumb jokes. You’re smiley. But it does feel like an act that’s partially fueled by alcohol and having someone’s attention on you.

He’s still talking but you’re admiring his small, button nose, how his brunette locks shape his face and his bright smile. You can’t help but think his face is a little too smooth, though. Has this boy been through anything meaningful? Has he suffered at all in his shiny little life? Your mind drifts back to Terzo’s rough hands and how they felt on you earlier that day. He forced you to your knees and it was clear that it wasn’t the first time he’s done so. You can still taste him on your tongue.

“You haven’t told me about your job! Aren’t you like an assistant?” Dylan snaps you out of it and you offer a shy smile.

“Yeah! I had to get out of that call center, man. It was like draining my life force. Not that this isn’t difficult but it’s nice to not be yelled at by some rando on the phone for hours a day.” You toy with your glass of wine.

“So, like what do you assist in? Is it just you?”

Huh. You’ve never really explained exactly what you do to anyone. Not even Catherine or Erica — you only really focused on Him. That won’t go over too well in this situation, will it?

“It’s just me and it’s mainly house maintenance right now. My boss’ place was a disaster when I started.” Perhaps the most watered down description of your job.

“So you’re like… you’ve cleaned it up?” There’s judgment in his voice that’s immediately sobering. He stares at you blankly.

“I guess I meant more like projects. The last big one was fixing up his yard. I had to manage the budget and scheduling of the landscapers and stuff.” Your voice is flat.

“Oh, okay gotcha.” Dylan nods and he is back to smiling. You’re seething on the inside. Was your answer acceptable to him? “What’s your boss like? Is he a guy?”

What the.

“Yeah, he’s a guy. He’s a little weird. Definitely eccentric. I’ve tried not to pry too much into his personal life, you know. Boundaries and all that, but when I first started he had me sort out some of his things and it looked like he used to be the lead singer in a band.” Another oddly phrased question. At least now you’ve been prompted to bring up the man you haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

“Oh, shit! That sounds awesome! What band?”

Oh, do you hesitate. A long silence stretches between you two.

“I’m… I’m not sure I should say. I don’t want to blow up his spot or anything.” You’re sheepish suddenly and Dylan notices.

“Aw, come on. Who am I gonna tell?” A good question. You drum your fingers on the table, thinking about how you’ve never really told anyone who your boss actually is.

“Catherine will tell me if she finds out.” A warning, last one until the big reveal. Dylan nods enthusiastically, some of his hairs falling into his forehead. For a split second you think that maybe if you were younger with much less life experience perhaps he would be perfect for you. But you know too much and you know that he wouldn’t be able to give you what you want. “It was Ghost.”

“Oh.” He makes a face and leans back in his chair.

“Oh? Sorry, is that not impressive enough?”

“No, no. It’s still cool. They’re just… I don’t know.”

Do you continue this conversation? Do you care what he thinks? You don’t…but your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What is it, Dylan? Are they lame? I’ve tried to… you know, not dig too deep into it because I feel like that would affect my professionalism.” That and you didn’t want to completely pry into the man’s life.

“Oh, I get that. Uhhh, I mean they’re not REALLY metal. They say they’re metal but they’re not so it’s just a little weird.” He shrugs and crosses his arms. You knit your brows together because you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about.

“Right. Okay.”

“Yeah, I mean, they are basically like pop. Not metal, not at all.” He sounds so impassioned and you nod along but it feels inappropriate. Why is he so pressed? It turns you off even more and you do everything in your power to get this date wrapped up. You are done drinking and you’re too full for dessert. Responses shorten and eventually you’re out front on the sidewalk waiting for an Uber. Dylan has insisted on waiting with you and hovers just a bit too closely by your side. He seems a little oblivious to how this date has gone, bless his heart.

“Well, this is me.” Awkward, so awkward. You move to get into the car but Dylan stops you by your arm and leans in for a kiss. It’s truly over before it starts, a quick peck before he pulls away with a smirk. You are dying on the inside.

“We’ll hang out again soon, yeah?”

“Sure. Yes.” You lie and hurry into the Uber, wanting nothing more than this wretched day to finally end.

Terzo blinks awake. The cool air of the night pricks his cheeks. Leaves crunch beneath his soggy socks. He coughs, blood spilling from his mouth and splattering on his thick chest hair. A robe hangs loosely from his shoulders. Terzo’s eyes drift down to his hand to see he’s wearing his black gloves with sharp, golden nails. He squints and there’s something black stuck to one of the points. Gaze drifts to where he is. His driveway. A breeze rolls by that sends shivers down his spine as his eyes focus on your car.

He’s slashed one of your tires.

Terzo cackles wildly upon this realization. This is new even for him and his weird, otherworldly tendencies. Could be straight up mental illness. He takes a few lumbering steps forward before crouching to eye the tire, surveying the damage. Completely shredded with the rim touching the ground. There’s a familiar buzzing in his skull, a buzz that he used to get while performing. How far he had fallen. Still, he’s delighted with himself. A fitting punishment for the way you crushed him earlier. What hubris you had for leaving your car on his property. Rage shoots through him for a quick moment, the thought of you spending the night with your date crossing his mind. Would this boy drop you off in the morning? He could plan for that.

In his fits of unsatisfying sleep, ideas for being cruel sprang to his mind. He’s settled on ignoring you for most of tomorrow, to have you toil away waiting for any kind of attention but to no avail. Terzo would be watching you the whole day, of course, hidden away in dark corners and peering down from atop the grand staircase. He has always been the best at sneaking around undetected out of all of his brothers, having avoided so many moments where his father could have reamed him out due to this expertise. Primo and Secondo weren’t so lucky.

Sharp pang in his chest from thinking about them.

No, no. He must focus on you. He pushes the thoughts back to the void. You’ll be trapped here at the end of your workday because of this, wouldn’t you? That’s when he’ll reveal himself. He’ll torture you. Tease the information of your date out of you.

How well could it have gone when you are so devoted to him?

The house is cold without him, a shiver running down your spine every time you found yourself in a dark corridor. You try to keep your thoughts to a minimum and are somewhat thankful that the contractor was able to come today. He’s a quiet man but seems to enjoy your cheerfulness which breathes life into an otherwise miserable day. Between directions and answering questions, you would wander the first floor and hover by the stairs, listening for any signs of life only to hear silence. The last time you saw him flits through your mind — the pressure of the hand on your neck that forced you to the ground seconds after he angrily spat in your face seconds after he kissed you. What the hell. You should be furious at him for treating you that way, for leaping over the carefully placed boundaries the two of you have been dancing around for weeks.

But instead you sigh dreamily. You burn for him. Cheeks grow hot just from thinking about his rough hands on you. You hope he’s okay. And you’re sure he is, he’s a big boy.

The fact that you’re more worried about his feelings than you are about potentially losing your job over this is not lost on you. You’ve lived in constant fear of getting fired over the smallest mistakes since the start of this job but you are oddly calm about this situation. This feels like a natural progression. There was going to be a time where you had to confront this strange connection and you would rather it happen sooner rather than later with the way things have been going. As painful as it would be (emotionally AND financially) to say goodbye to him maybe it would be best for it be sooner rather than later.

The day goes by at a painfully slow pace with no sign of him. Anxiety builds and builds as you watch your clock tick down on your phone. You’ve taken to painstakingly wiping down every single mirror on the first floor (there is an absurd amount of them) because it takes up time and gives you something to focus one. After a while interacting with the contractor becomes painful for you, too heightened to be able to function in a normal social setting. You send him home early with a smile, being Friday and all, and you continue carrying out your mirror mission. This takes you to around 4:30 at which point you say “fuck it” and decide it’s time for bed! What is the point of even being here anymore when you could be under your comforter with a pint of chocolate chip ice cream as you ponder your existence?

It was an easy decision.

You meander out the front door, making sure not to slam it shut but have it at least be somewhat loud to announce your exit. Yes, you are stooping that low. A quick wave of relief washes over you because you made it. The day is over and while the issue looms you are at least out of his domain. Car keys jingle in your pocket. You make quick work of the walk from the porch to your car until the state of your tire stops you in your tracks.

“Oh my god!” You’re in disbelief. It’s like an animal chewed through the rubber. Your rim is on the ground. Tears start to well up in your eyes. This is it. This is the thing that’s pushed you over the edge today. A frustrated screech bubbles up your chest.

“Come back inside.”

You freeze as soon as you hear his voice. Spinning on heel, you turn to face him. He’s standing with his arms crossed, leaning against a column on the porch. His dress shirt is the darkest black you’ve ever seen, partially unbuttoned to show off thick chest hair and cut slacks show off his strong thighs. Did he get dressed up for you? His paint is crisp and hair is slicked back neatly. Fuck, he looks good*.*

“I can get an Uber?” A question as if you’re asking him permission, taking a few tentative steps towards him.

“Hmmm. No. I’ll call you a driver.” A rough response but you can’t help but feel warmth blossom in the pit of your stomach. “Get back inside.” Terzo growls, his gaze stern and pointed. He leaves you alone in his front yard. You feel silly by how hard your heart hammers in your chest but this is what you’ve been wanting all day. A moment passes by and you work up your courage to go inside and take your punishment. Thoughts of your shredded tire fade.

You walk inside the foyer and follow the sound of clinking glasses, finding him at the bar in the den. Terzo’s gaze falls to you then he directs you to the couch with his eyes. You silently follow the order and sit on one of the couch cushions furthest away from him. There’s a lump in your throat, fidgeting with your hands as you wait for him to join you. Eventually he turns around to face you with two drinks in his hand, one a red martini with a lime green umbrella and the other a pint full of something gross looking - not beer but still brown? His face is blank and you try to match his energy but it’s hard to keep your blush at bay. You reach out to take the martini from him but he pulls it back out of your grasp and instead presses the pint into your hand. The smell fills your nostrils: whiskey. Yuck. He runs a hand through his hair as he takes a seat on the other side of the couch, allowing for plenty of space between you two.

“You’ve called the driver already, right?”

“Yes.” He rolls his eyes but you’re still not sure you believe him.

Terzo’s arm stretches across the back of the couch, gloves just brushing your shoulder. Your grip on your whiskey tightens. This isn’t his usual charming aloofness, there’s something cold and cruel bubbling beneath the surface. Still, you want nothing more than to speak to him, even if he’s obviously pissed at you. He lifts his other hand up to his face, admiring the sharp golden nails adorned to his leather gloves. Eyes slowly drag from them to settle on you, gaze so piercing and yet uninterested in you.

“So, you had him pick you up here, si?”

“Yeah, but—“

“Drink.” He points at your glass and narrows his eyes. Not playing around. You do as he says and take a sip. “Keep drinking.” Lip twitches in a faint show of satisfaction as you bring the glass up back to your lips and take a deep gulp. There’s delight in his eyes and you’re more than happy to play the game just to see more of it. Your eyes twitch and you cough once you set the glass, the whiskey burns your throat.

“It was convenient for him.” Words are rough from the sting of alcohol.

“Ohh, was it now?” Terzo growls and digs his nails into the couch, tearing into the fabric. The sound gives you goosebumps. You open your mouth but he’s too quick. “Finish your drink.” He snaps, daggers for eyes that sends a chill down your spine. You swallow thickly and toy with your glass with the tips of your fingers before bringing it back up to your lips. Head tips back, the room swirls and you swallow down the rest of the liquid.

“Gross. Ugh.” Grimacing as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “It’s less of a drive for him and I’m a pushover, okay?” You sigh, only partially joking. His eyes noticeably soften. You sink deeper into the cushion. “I said yes to this date because it was with my best friend’s older brother who I’ve known forever and I’ve always had a crush on him.” Terzo’s fingers shift from the couch to your shoulder, his nails just short of tearing through your shirt, his anger coming back up to a simmer just below the surface, but you continue on unafraid.

“I had to see what would happen. You have to understand… you build the thing up in your head as something perfect and special but then when you actually actually experience it…” You deflate and you eyes wander away from him, wanting to look anywhere else. “It’s never as good as you imagined it. Plus, he was a garbage kisser.” You immediately regret the words as soon as you say them. They hang heavy in the air and the air catches in your lungs. You feel him shift on the couch but you can’t bring yourself to look until his his hand curls around by back of your neck and forces you to look at him. Eyes sharp like knives.

“You let him kiss you.” A statement, not a question. Terzo makes you watch as he slinks closer to you. There’s like a current coming off of him right now that has you paralyzed even though you so badly want to protest. You whimper, words getting caught in your throat as he reaches for you. He grabs you by your waist with the tips of his claws poking against your skin, that delicious danger teasing you as always. “How did it compare?” Terzo trills, a charming smile with vicious edge. Hoo boy. Blood rushes to your cheeks.

“It didn’t compare at all.” You whisper as you try to sink as far into the couch as possible. Not because you don’t want to be close to him but you’re confused. Everything about this feels like a trap, like one wrong answer could set him alight but you’re not exactly fighting it. Instincts are telling you to run but you stay exactly where you are. Terzo’s hand drift up your sides, suggestively squeezing you in all the right places until he’s holding you by your shoulders. He’s smiling wider than before and there’s glee in his eyes — he’s pleased with you. A torrent of heat shoots through your core. He doesn’t say anything, merely taking in your reactions to his touches. His finger tips glide across your top, nearly clipping right through it until his hands settle around your throat. He squeezes just enough to make you gasp for air, then leans in to you, pressing his forehead against yours. You can feel his hot breath on your lips.

Tease.

“I could hurt you.” Terzo muses against your lips, lashes fluttering and eyes wide. There’s a slight tug at the corner of his mouth. Silence passes comfortably between the both of you as you take in each other’s breaths and warmth.

“I know. I’m… afraid of that. But it’s why I’m here.” You feel drunk, the words just tumbling out of you but you don’t care anymore. He is so close to kissing you that you can nearly taste him but instead he pulls away with a wry smile.

“Your glass is empty.” Terzo snickers and then jumps up in a way that can only be described as cat-like, snatching the glass from your hands. You’re left hot and bothered as he turns his back to you to saunter over to the bar. Alone with your thoughts while you watch him pour you another generous whiskey. Oh no. Oh no. You can still taste it on your tongue and it is not for you. But when he turns around with the warmth and charm you’ve been wanting all doubts are gone. You’re going to be messy tonight and that’s just that. When he turns back to face you he’s at least given you half of what he did the first time, walking slowly over to where you’re sitting on the couch.

He looms over you as your eyes drift up to meet his gaze and he audibly growls. You suck in a sharp breath, your nails digging into the soft flesh of your thighs. Terzo lifts a hand up and brushes his thumb along your jaw before tilting your chin up. He brings the glass to your lips and tips it back. You part your lips, the whiskey burning as it spills down your throat. He continues to pour until you can’t keep up with it and it leaks out of your mouth and down your cheeks. You gasp and he flings the glass down onto the side table as he crushes his mouth against yours, unable to keep away from you any longer.

And you certainly don’t care that he all but purrs into your mouth, soft lips moving against yours. He cups your face with his gloved hands, leather thumbs caressing your cheekbones as he slips onto the couch beside you without breaking the kiss. Fingers curl around his wrist and you press in close to him, losing yourself in how he tastes. His velvety tongue probes your mouth as the kiss grows in intensity. Deep pants try to keep your feet on the ground but you’re off in space, exhaustion and comfort mixing in a way that has you floating. Terzo pulls away from the kiss and you can hardly open your eyes. He gently guides your head to his chest, stroking his fingers through your hair.

“You never called me a driver did you?”

“Oh no. Never considered it.” Terzo squeezes you in his arms.

Oh, he’s so warm. A rumbling groan falls from your lips as his wraps his arms around you, just holding you there. Your limbs relax and you sink deeper into his chest as he starts to rubs up and down your back. In that moment you know you’re a goner. A deep, sleepy sigh falls from your lips and in a matter of minutes you are out cold.

Terzo almost feels guilty for being such an ass. Almost. He feels for you, he can relate to realizing that something isn’t all it was cracked out to be. At least for you it was a childhood crush and not being raised for one person. But still, he was a tad mean wasn’t he? It was necessary and the tension… the tension had been so delicious. Watching you squirm under his intense stare. And you just did what he said, unquestioningly, even when had you drink and drink and drink. Adrenaline is pumping through him and he struggles to contain himself— he must not go any further, despite how tempted he is. He could get away with it. You’re so soft, so pliable and so wanting. Terzo can feel the heat radiating off of you, no doubt from the alcohol and your closeness. He could slip his hand between your thighs and give you exactly what you want.

But it wouldn’t be fair to you. Terzo wants you coherent and focused when he takes you. Plus you’re adorably snuggled against him right now, your soft breaths against his chest. He’s longed for this and you did not disappoint. Wait a minute. Are you sleeping? He is about to fall apart, his arms wrapping so much tighter around you. The urge to keep you safe, to keep you here and never let you leave overcomes him*.* He squeezes your hand that is clutched to his chest and then gingerly picks it up and places it back in your lap.

“Sleepy?”

You lift your heavy head to look at him and good god do you want to be asleep right now. A tender smiles breaks out across his face as he swipes some of your hair from your eyes. A stark contrast from how close he had just been to strangling you.

“Take the guest room tonight, puffetta. I will bring you some clothes.” Terzo pulls himself to his feet. “Meet you up there.” He’s so soft, so different than how torturous he was of you earlier. You’re sure he’s heard what he’s wanted to hear from you but he’s unpredictable. Something you liked about him. There’s an unknown darkness that lies beneath his charm and good looks and it calls out to you. You’ve never felt this way about anyone. How could you ever get away now?

You blink and realize that you’re alone. You’ve been alone. Oh shit. Scrambling off of the couch, you trip over your own feet with the effects of the whiskey hitting you hard.

Ah, the guest room. A cramped space with antique furniture that could use some time and attention. The overall theme of the room is… dust. You’ve brought up having the dresser refinished or even repainted and replacing the peeling wallpaper but it’s low on the list of priorities. You push the door shut and give a soft sigh of relief. Shoes come off. A lamp on the bedside table barely illuminates the room and a folded pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt are waiting for you on the bed. Eyes scan over the remainder of the comforter and pillows, wondering if anyone had ever slept here. You can’t help the feeling that you’re being watched but maybe the fact that you’re about to wear your boss’ clothes isn’t meshing well with the practically decaying room.

“Whatever.” You huff to yourself and undress with the grace of a toddler, kicking your pants off and throwing your removed clothes into a pile on the ground. Sitting down on the bed, you pull up the sweatpants and they are loose as they settle around your waist. The shirt slips over your head and swallows up your upper body. Did he purposely give you his largest clothing to make you feel small? It is so cozy, though. You wrap your arms around your body and flop back onto the bed, sinking into the softness of the blankets. Comfortable heat spreads across your skin from buzz of the alcohol. Limbs go limp and your eyelids grow heavy, a deep sigh falling from your lips. Fading fast.

The piercing ring of the rotary phone cracks through the air and you jolt upright and wide awake. What the? You don’t remember seeing it when you came in and it’s not like it blends in — it’s bright red with intricate black etchings along the base and the handle of the receiver. Not a speck of dust on it. The phone rings again, somehow louder and more harmful to your ears than before. You blink and suddenly you’re standing directly in front of the dresser with one hand curled around the receiver. Heart is pounding in your chest and ears. Something is calling out to you. Answer it. Answer it. Answerit. answeritansweritansweritanswerit.

You pick up the phone to silence. Then chittering. The receiver is hot on your cheek. Something pricks your ear but you can’t pull away. There’s a squelch. A screech. More screaming. It only gets louder and louder, needles in your ears, pain shooting through your brain. You can’t breathe. You twirl the phone cord around your fingers and shuffle your bare feet against the cold floor, the only thing you’re able to get your body to do other than press the phone so hard against your head. The closer you listen to the screams the more familiar they get, growing in intensity, pain and volume. Burning, the receiver is burning now and yet you can’t move, you can’t get any relief. The phone cord is nearly completely tangled around your wrist and you’re sweating, gasping for breath, and crying without even realizing it. The screams finally subside, replaced by a cold, dead silence.

You hang up the phone.

Suddenly, an overwhelming wave of exhaustion washes over you and you collapse onto the bed. The world spins as you sink into the soft mattress, the dial tone still echoing in your ears.

[caustinen]

Loving your Hollywood Clegan AU so much!

Curious though...how do they transition when their relationship becomes public? Are there any issues with fan backlash? Or being an openly gay actor? What about the increased paparazzi attention or stalkerish fans? :O

Hello lovely person!! As usual this got a bit long but I hope it answers the question a bit at least 😂💘

To start off with, I usually reimagine my fics in worlds that don’t have homophobia because I personally don’t enjoy writing it/making it a plot point, there’s so much amazing art in all forms dealing with it that it doesn’t feel like trying to erase a very real problem/ignore it because obviously it unfortunately is a big part of queer experience for a lot of people, it’s just that I like to imagine worlds where that isn’t a factor just so there’s also places to escape that, esp in silly fanfiction that I write – that’s what I also enjoy to read as a queer person myself! So while it would definitely give this au a lot of depth, I’m at least not right now including that in these replies <3

As for the other stuff, I have not thought about it a lot even though these should be kinda the main questions for this au… So let’s think about it!

Paparazzi – John dislikes paparazzi as much as anyone but Gale despises them. He finds it a bit invasive but kind of a “part of the job” con for John and later their relationship in the public when it happens when arriving to/leaving events, but when he first catches someone taking his picture while leaving the gym or his office he gets very antsy. This creates some tensions for a bit as John understands his stress but also feels like they talked about it beforehand and now he can’t really do anything about it. When they’re out together and they spot paparazzi John always tries to block Gale from the sight, pull him behind himself or guide them some other way. They love to travel and it’s also easier to avoid being spotted when they’re away from LA/New York. It’s bad for the first few months but eventually the attention on them eases up a bit and they can go back to the new normal with only occasional encounters with the paparazzi; Gale also grows more accustomed to it and knows how to dress to and act to hide & make it a bit less intense.

Fan backlash – I think this would be an interesting thing to explore. Even though a lot of the fans are just happy for John, there are also some who have become too parasocial/illusioned about him after being fans for years (and he is a heartthrob and charming and widely accepted as “boyfriend material”) that they get upset when the relationship is revealed, starting to talk shit on social media about John never having been genuine and has only been lying to his fans meaning he never actually cared about them, and through that getting to insult his work and that they only went to see it because he’s hot but now it’s ruined. John was also shipped with a lot of his previous castmates and some shippers are also upset and saying he “setteled” for Gale who’s “just an ordinary office worker” when he could’ve had a flashy Hollywood Romance – while many see his fiancés shyness and soft-spokeness in public as adorable, some say he doesn’t match John’s vibe at all, and the fact that John also seems different with him is not a good thing and they start to psychoanalyze their relationship. John couldn’t care less for some angry comments on his insta but some of the hate is directed towards Gale, and he’s a bit taken aback when he starts to receive DM’s telling him to leave John immediately and accusing him of manipulating him into a relationship with “someone like him”. John is obviously very upset by all of this but Gale reminds him that he’s seen it all at work and can handle himself.

Stalkers – The other extreme of Gale haters would then be the people who get like way into him real fast, he’s beloved by the masses, sure, but these people are more like a cult (probably of the similar style of fan as the one’s who turn against John in the previous point, like highkey parasocial behavior but when John starts to date publicly it’s like “no, he’s OUR boyfriend” but not in a funny way you know). The line is blurred to some people what it means that John revealed he has a partner, it’s not a ”new part of him” but a real person of his own that happens to be dating their favorite actor, and this gets lost on some people who start to treat him almost like he was Bucky’s pet (idk if this makes any sense but like as if he was just a cute little thing he can post pics about and doesn’t really have an agency of their own AND the fans feel like they ”know him” when they actually know nothing about him except that he’s dating their idol). Gale’s not expecting to get any “fans” of his own, so he’s a bit weary when he’s asked to take pics with people without John or given stuff on red carpets etc, and especially when people really cross boundaries and try to gift him/them like condoma or sex toys or lingerie (I’m thinking of that one interview where they showed Austin his fan merch and there was the thong with his face on it and I’m thinking someone gifting a similar one of Bucky to him and him being absolutely horrified) or something else kinda projecting their own fantasies into them, or playing it off as a joke while it’s actually really distrurbing — just because they’re out doesn’t mean the relationship opened for other people to comment on. Then of course there’s just the usual internet hellhole-stuff, people start sending him really inappropriate messages about his body/looks/what they’d want to do to him given the chance that he maybe didn’t expect because he doesn’t believe John when he tells him that’s like notably attractive. I could also imagine for example a moment where someone approaches them when they’re leaving an event or something and Gale is being professional and polite but the other person is really overstaying their welcome/not following social cues but talking to him like a friend would and when John tries to politely lead them onwards the “fan” grabs Gale’s arm or something and it causes a small scene. Gale is stressed in these situations mostly because he fears how they’ll reflect on John’s image if he’s presented as being rude to fans but luckily these are rare occasions.

Despite all of this, they both are happy that the relationship is public, there are more pros than cons for being able to build their future together without having to be each others dirty little secrets (idk why but it came to my mind now that Gale is so the type that since he couldn’t always tell people he had a partner, everyone would either hit on him or try to match him with someone because “how is someone that pretty single?!” and this would annoy the hell out of Bucky despite him being the one with millions of options at any given moment, i like some jealous bucky :D)

Hope this was satisfactory!! Any more ideas to these scenarios? I’m so used to doing just fluff/smut so this was a fun challenge, thank you! <3

[bonefall]

Looking for advice since you're great with stuff like this: I'm struggling with how to have a character fundamentally change. A character in my cat story loses his memory and ends up working with the main characters to stop his own plan he made to destroy the world (and after the plan is stopped, he regains his memories). I want his time in the Starless to change him, make him less obsessed with power, but I'm really starting to struggle with whether or not that makes sense and how to work that.

Hmm.. well, first bit of advice I always give is that characters are not people. They are writing tools. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be "realistic" or that connecting to the human traits in the audience isn't important.

It means that a character exists to tell a story.

By "tool" I mean "machine." Every trait is a piston, and ideally they work together to drive your story along. What are you saying with each trait? What is your beginning point for the story, and their end? What do you want to explore? What do you want the audience to take away?

So if you feel stuck on a character, find the larger message you want to impart with them. The job they're doing in your narrative.

What do you want to say about power?

What do you want to say about why Character X wanted to destroy the world? Why was he wrong? What feelings and information lead him to that conclusion?

What is his redemption arc doing for your themes?

Every writer answers those questions differently. For example, I feel strongly that power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. When you finally have the influence to make others do what you want, you make them do it. I don't see "power" as being like... a magic, abstract thing, it's influence over other people, and those people are ALSO individuals with their own reasons for following the leader.

Digressing; what I'm getting at is that, as a writer, I have a lot of thoughts on power itself. I got this way with a lot of reading and interest on the topic. You might find it insightful to experience more art, essays, and commentary on the subject, if you ever get stuck, and develop an opinion you feel strongly about.

Not just about power, as broad writing advice.

Anyway.

If I was writing the character, these are the things I'd be thinking about specifically and changes I'd be making on personal taste. I don't know your full story enough so, hopefully it's insightful;

First of all I'm always SUPER wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope. Does my villain have a point?

Am i just giving them a Kick-a-Baby scene to make them wrong when they should be completely right otherwise

What are my themes and tone? This is VERY important. Steven Universe is about family and emotions with low stakes violence; the Diamonds are essentially abusive grandparents that Steven is coaching through intergenerational trauma. They fit the universe they're in. Jack Horner does not belong in SU.

So I'd look at Character X's purpose.

Knowing me, I'd actually take out full amnesia entirely. I have memory problems related to trauma so I'm a lot more familiar with major, important details blotting out RIGHT when I need them. Enough that I can put myself in the shoes of someone like BB!Fallenleaf who remembers a lot but the details are fuzzy.

So personally I think I could write this villan to be VERY funny lmao

"Hello. I am Gnagnathor the Destroyer."

"No you're not. He has three horns. You have two."

(DID I USED TO HAVE THREE HORNS?????)

I also just find it more resonant when a character still remembers what they did, why they did it, and is able to refute themselves with their own growth.

To me like... when a character remembers NOTHING to the point where they're not informed by their actions or history at all, how are they really still the same person?

in general though I find total amnesia uninteresting. I wish it was less popular.

What did Gnagnathor DO with his power? What did he WANT from it?

The simplest version of this I know is "Gnag was hurting and wanted everyone else to hurt too. Now that he has a happy place, he doesn't want that."

TO BE CLEAR THATS FINE. That's a REALLY common power fantasy and it's not automatically a bad story. It's popular for a reason.

Personally I feel strongly about the idea, though, that people with power don't change unless they lose it. There's no reason to.

People don't change until you break the environment that contributes to the behavior.

Especially with victims unfortunately-- the ugly truth is that a lot of problematic behaviors exist because they protected the victim from their abuser's actions. You need safety to really start to unpack that.

You can personally identify it and address it as much as you want, when your abuser starts to use That Tone you will still seize up. Just try to yank yourself back into your head when you're disassociating during a screaming session; your reward is raw distress.

That said, not all villains HAVE to have tragic motivators like that, or be ex-victims at all. Leveraging power to get what you want can be as ugly as just being taught the people you're hurting are subhuman.

Or making up justifications for why This Is a Good Thing Actually.

Some people will lash out violently when these justifications fall apart, because accepting it would mean they're Being Bad

Most people have an innate desire to Be Good. Like... the vast, vast majority of people. Some sense of morality is observable in all intelligent social animals; dolphins, chimps, elephants.

Tangentially, if you understand that people don't WANT to be bad and that the natural response to a scolding is defensiveness, you understand that convincing people of something is a LOT easier when you approach with kindness.

AND IN TURN: be wary of those who are flattering while trying to convince you of something. This is Manipulation 101.

So back to Gnagnathor

Do I want to talk about environment and how it changes him to be away from power? How traits that previously earned him wealth or influence are suddenly incredibly taboo, so he can't use them here?

On that-- HOW did he get his power in the first place? Re: I'm very wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope.

Were his minions following him because they have serious issues and he exploited their desperation? .....are you centering the experience of the poor, sad abuser over his victims

Or are they ALL united over something important and legitimate? With the redemption of their villainous leader, how are you planning for that to frame all of their former followers?

(This is why redeeming minions is usually a lot more productive than doing it to the leader, imo. Redeeming Zuko means you can explore the familial legacy, the indoctrination of the Fire Nation's children, their justifications, the way systems make monsters out of people. Redeeming The Firelord would probably have caused Azula, one of his victims, to pick up his slack and now, suddenly, you have a VERY uncomfortable situation where Ozai is thrashing one of his abused children but Good This Time.)

(Not to mention that, again... why would he do this. He has power. He's doing what he wants and is used to this situation. It would be a numbskulled narrative choice.)

Aaaand that's about all I can say without essentially being a cowriter or editor. It's on you to figure out what you're trying to do and say here. I'm a good writer on this subject because I think about it a lot, which has lead to my strong opinions and point of view. Your art is a reflection of you.

[chevaliersnumberoneguy]

I just finished Ward and was inspired by a friend to make a review about it here so uh here is my semi-non formal review of Ward.

So to provide a bit of context I became a Parahumans fan back in 2019 and read alongside it with a veteran Worm fan and it easily became one of my favorite pieces of fiction. After a decent break I began reading Ward on and off again for a little bit (not because of the quality I’m just weird when I dedicate time for reading) and after about 3 years of reading it over work breaks and doing a last hail mary sprint for the final couple arcs I feel as though Ward is an amazing follow up to Worm. I know that may be a hot take since I have heard from a friend that general sentiment on Ward isn’t all that positive, but I found myself enjoying it quite a lot.

Wildbow in my eyes managed to expand upon a lot of things I like about Worm and answered a lot of questions I didn’t think would be answered.

Let’s start with a big thing first. I think overall Victoria was a fantastic pick for the protagonist to follow along for this adventure. Not just because she is overall very well written, but out of all the existing characters Wildbow could’ve picked, Vicky was probably the best one for orchestrating the main message of overcoming trauma and learning to love yourself in Ward. It was very fun and satisfying the overall arc she had in Ward.

Breakthrough as a whole was also full of extremely well written characters with all of them enamouring me with their backstories and character arcs in their own way. I didn’t come to think Chris of all people would become such an interesting “minor” antagonist until the Simurgh reveal.

Overall Wildbow has has gone forth and continued to have shown his great ability to present mysteries or seemingly random moments/information and manage to paint it in a completely different light with a massive reveal later on in the story. Chris is a pretty big example of this with all of his behaviors and relationship to his tinker power being weird at best to making a lot of it make sense in retrospect with the reveal that he was more or less created by the Simurgh to help her out in her grand plan. Another example of this is all of the hype and build up to the reveal of Shardspace and the Cracking as a whole.

Now I’m willing to admit it isn’t perfect with all of the Wildbow moments and pacing at certain parts of the story, but I can really appreciate it for what it is at the end.

The parts that got me loving it the most is the expansion of powers as a whole. I’ve always been a nut for eldritch content and Ward managed to satisfy me with that in dividends when it showed us Shardspace, the Titans, the Agents, the conclusion of Entity cycles and actually giving us a full description for the Entities appearance as well. 

All of the cluster stuff was thoroughly enjoyable as well. I loved every second of Rain and his story that was in the spotlight. Easily provided some of my favorite arcs in all of Ward. It was just so fun to watch him develop as a person as well as watch the dynamic he has with his cluster. Cradle in my opinion stole the show being the antagonist of the group. Everything he did was appalling and I loved it. Whether it was him chopping up people with whips or manipulating people in the dream room it was all great to watch play out.

Also god all of the Titan stuff was amazing as well. From the early preview of it from Dauntless becoming one, to all of the build up to this massive event in the Teacher arcs and finally the beginning of the end when Fume Hood second triggered and started the Cracking off as a whole it was all amazing. Then we get into all of the fun combat with the Titans just showing off how formidable of a threat they are, the reveal that if they win everything is over and that this event may never be over, to all of the exploration of Shardspace it was all so well done and great to watch play out.

Another thing I loved was the Teacher stuff as well. I always knew he was going to play a massive part in Ward ever since his epilouge arc in Worm and boy I wasn’t disappointed (mostly). From the disinformation campaign to the assault on his complex it was all fantastic. The arc as a whole did a great job at planting seeds for what would happen in the future. My only real disappointment about him is how he really didn’t play much of a part during all the Titan stuff, but eh it’s whatever.

I thought the ending as a whole was a satisfying conclusion to the story and tied up a good amount of loose ends while still clearly leaving the door at least ajar for Parahumans 3.

Overall, while not perfect I think Ward as a whole was an amazing follow up to Worm and I look forward to reading Wildbow’s other works.

Anyways thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[starrysnowdrop]

Why Hermes?

So, some of you might have wondered why I decided to ship Hali’s Azem, Urania, with Hermes instead of your usual Emet, Hyth, or even Elidibus. As I have been asked this particular question before, I decided to write out my answer here for all that are curious to know. And what better opportunity to do so while celebrating #AppleSyrcus Week! This was supposed to be the entry for the Free Day, but I’m a bit late for that, so I apologize for the delay.

See below the cut for the full details.

I want to start by saying that it’s been difficult at times for me to talk about Hermes, for multiple reasons, but possibly the biggest reason is that so many in the fandom seem to hate him. I mean he is the one that is easy to point to and say that he caused the final days in the first place and that he’s to blame for literally everything that happened afterwards. I won’t get into a debate here about how much of it was Hermes to blame, or the Ancients’ society at large, but there’s no denying of his role in the Final Days, being the creator of the Meteia and letting Meteion escape after knowing what the Meteia planned to do. So I get it, I really do. But it also means that it makes me really anxious about even talking about him, let alone gpose or write about him. Over time it’s gotten easier, so I’m okay with writing this out now.

Here’s the thing. From the beginning, I was in the “love to hate him” camp about Fandaniel. I was intrigued with his character and wanted to know more, but I wasn’t exactly excited about his total nihilism, especially in the Pre-EW patches when we first got a taste of him. He got a bit more interesting after the Amon reveal right before Tower of Zot. As a fan of Allag stuff, I liked the reveal and all, but I still didn’t know at all what to expect next. When we got to Fandaniel’s death when he became the heart of Zodiark, I felt like he was an interesting villain, but not my favorite in FFXIV, and I thought that was that. I actually didn’t think we’d get anything more about Fandaniel, let alone his Unsundered self.

Then came Elpis, and the more I heard and saw, the more I realized that I was going to fall in love with this character, or should I say the Unsundered Fandaniel anyway. The reveal that his name was Hermes got me so damn giddy already because I have always loved Hermes from Greek Mythology. Then when Hermes first spoke in Elpis, I recognized Jeremy Ang Jones’ voice, as he was clearly Amon/Fandaniel, but he spoke so softly and it just hit me with the feels instantly. I have no idea why, but I find a great voice to be a huge turn on, and Hermes just did it for me. His beautiful green eyes also greatly help in the sexiness department for me.

Seriously though, the more I learned of Hermes, the more I felt for him. His caring nature and compassion for all of the creations that entered his care, his devotion and fatherly love for Meteion, and his kindness towards the WoL, who was just a particularly odd familiar to his knowledge, just made me love him so deeply. And he was so unique amongst the Ancients, with his love for all creatures, not just his fellow people.

Another major reason why I got attached to Hermes was that I saw a lot of myself in him with his depression, as I myself have chronic depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and I am also neurodivergent. Hermes spoke to me in a way that not many of the other characters had before. Though he was this all powerful Ancient, an immortal being who had the power of creation, and held an important position in his world, he still was not happy, and he was disillusioned with Ancient society. Hermes feels so real to me, and I couldn't shake how much I felt for him.

Even way after I had finished 6.0, I still couldn’t shake him from my mind. Though I had no intention on shipping my Azem with him for the longest time, since it took me nearly 2 years to do so, he had stolen my heart, just as Aymeric, G’raha, Cid, etc. had done before. When I created and developed Hali, I actually got some inspiration to flesh out her Azem, as I didn't do anything with Yume's, but I soon created Urania. And when I was writing out my ideas, my heart knew what the right choice was. I knew that Urania would love Hermes, but it ultimately is a tragic love story since it doesnt work out, as they are broken up before the summonings of Zodiark and Hydaelyn and the Sundering. Unlike how I had written Yume, Hali's Unsundered self would be the kind-hearted, compassionate, and understanding person that would be perfect to see Hermes for who he is and fall in love with him, even though Hermes will ultimately sabotage the relationship and push Urania away over and over again.

Lastly, I wanted to point out that my love is very much for Hermes, and not as much for Fandaniel as the sundered ascian. I very much see Hermes, Amon, and Ascian Fandaniel as all separate characters, even though they all share the same soul whose trauma can be first attributed to the suffering that Hermes experienced. Though I still sympathize with Fandaniel to a point, I certainly do not ship Hali with Fandaniel, nor Hermes even. This is because Hali's heart belongs to Aymeric, and although she recognizes that she has some feelings for Hermes when she meets him in Elpis, Hali ultimately attributes that to Urania's feelings and not her own.

As of right now, I am still figuring out not only a canon timeline, especially with the newest short story coming in and wrecking a few things that I had planned, but I also have a few headcanons for the Modern AU with Urania x Hermes. So for now, I’ll give you a handful of headcanons for the Modern AU.

Hermes is a single father who adopted Meteion when she was a few months old, and she is obviously not a familiar in this modern setting but a little girl who wants her papa to find love. He is in graduate school working towards his master’s and eventually his PhD in Astronomy, but he still doesn’t earn enough to support himself and his daughter, so he is a barista at the local coffee shop. It is at the coffee shop where he meets Urania, who is a regular customer. They then bump into each other at the university and realize that they are in the same Astronomy graduate program. Some other hobbies that Hermes has include cooking, bird watching, and stargazing, along with spending his free time with Meteion as much as he can. I’m still figuring out how I want the romance to develop, but I’m very excited about this AU because it can just be a sweet love story and no big bad stuff happening like the Final Days.

That's about it for why I love Hermes as a character, and ultimately why I decided to ship my Azem with him. Please feel free to send me an ask or a message if you have any further questions or comments.

[billpottsismygf]

The Legend of Ruby Sunday

Well that was certainly dramatic! A lot of questions answered, but more questions created. It's hard to have a conclusive opinion on this episode because it's so definitively only half of the story, but I certainly had fun throughout. There were lots of really funny bits of dialogue and good character moments, and a lot of drama.

I'd seen a couple of people speculating about Sutekh but I hadn't looked into why and, although I have watched The Pyramids of Mars, I don't remember an awful lot of what goes on in it! From what I recall, he wasn't that impressive a villain so the huge majesty and fanfare he's presented with here is quite interesting. He was a guy with a silly mask on in the 70s and here he's a somewhat ugly CGI dog, but I'm open to seeing how they connect these two versions of the character.

So, we have several people, all women, running around at the moment who have something to do with the mystery. 1) There's Ruby's birth mother. Why can't they see her face? Why was she pointing? 2) Mrs Flood, who turns out to be pretty unpleasant if she's refusing Cherry a cup of tea. Unlike the two I'm about to mention, she seemed to know what was coming and obviously about the TARDIS (and the camera) from the christmas special. 3) Harriet Arbinger, who is a harbinger of Sutekh. 4) Susan Twist, who is... another harbinger of Sutekh? It seems like Kate's chrysalis theory was right with her, at least. Does she serve the same role as Harriet? Is the little boy who was Maestro's harbinger have anything to do with either of them or did he just serve the same role?

Sutekh is apparently the mother and father and other of the gods, which could mean a bunch of things. For one it implies variation of gender, or at least an existence outside of it, which is interesting with the he/him pronouns and yet all these women who seem wrapped up with the plot, as well as the ongoing theme of abandoned children. Carla also called him the Beast before he'd even fully manifested, which of course brought to mind The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, especially with the soldier who died saying he was in hell. Probably no connection, but who knows! He is also specifically name checked as being Set and Seth from Egyptian mythology. What does it all mean!

Also, how did Sutekh latch onto the TARDIS in the first place? Does the fact that the Doctor mallet whacked the TARDIS to double it in The Giggle have anything to do with the present situation? I didn't like that at the time because she's a living being and he just cloned her(?) or split her(?) or something, but now I'm thinking it would make sense if it connects to how she got infested with Sutekh in the first place.

Speaking of the TARDIS-Sutekh connection, I loved that the TARDIS anagram was so obvious the UNIT team laughed at the Doctor explaining it, which makes the "wrong anagram" reveal even better. RTD knew the fans would work out the TARDIS anagram immediately (which they did) and that it would be a red herring for us just as much as for UNIT! Though not that much of a red herring, since the TARDIS is involved. Is it perhaps a little silly to create your evil secret corporation under a name that might give away your evil secret plan? Yeah, but I like it at the moment.

I'm so glad Susan Triad isn't Susan Foreman (at least, it seems that way). It's another big old red herring. I've been desperate for Susan to return for so long - and I would still love her to, and maybe she even will in this arc - but I don't want her to return like this! Not as a villain and not as someone other than Carole Ann Ford. While we still have her, let her play Susan again! Please!

I am fascinated by this stuff about the Doctor having her before having children... It's been established in the past that the Doctor did have children and that he lost them all (eg. in The Doctor's Daughter), but here Fifteen seems to be implying that he hasn't yet. How does that all add up? I love the idea of having children out of order, and have always somewhat rebelled at the assumption that Time Lords have children in the same way as humans (ie. sexual reproduction between two parents of "opposite" sexes). Gimme Looms or something equally bizarre or nothing, so I'm definitely down for this; I just wonder how it actually makes sense for the Doctor.

I'm so happy to see Rose again! Obviously we knew she'd be in this, but she's a great character and I adored her dynamic with Ruby. Very cute! I loved the Doctor's line about them being two shades of red. I hope they'll develop the stuff of her not being given much to do, as I guess basically a nepotism hire, because I want her to get to do exciting things! On that note, it is odd if she's so kept out of things that she stays in the room after everyone who is not necessary is made to leave. I know she's necessary in that she's a UNIT employee who is important to us, the viewers, but it doesn't quite make sense with what is apparently her role in the organisation.

Saving perhaps the most interesting for last, the CCTV of the night Ruby was abandoned was 66 metres away. Otherwise known as 73 yards. My ears pricked up the moment they said that, though I needed to check afterwards that they were the same, and that surely can't be a coincidence. I don't know if I need anything more about 73 yards, despite my many questions at the end of it, but it could be very interesting if the events of that episode have something to do with the bigger picture.

Overall, fun and engaging episode in its own right, but I'll have to withhold final judgement until next week!

Misc things

Rose says it's been ages since she last saw the Doctor, so we're a while after the specials. Also there was mention of 2004 being 19 years ago so we're currently in 2023.

It's interesting we have two characters in this story (Susan and Rose) who are named after important companions, each the original companion of their run of Doctor Who.

I love that the Trickster got a mention. So many people seemed convinced the Trickster would be the big bad coming up, but at least he got a name check.

I loved Carla's energy in this one! True Donna vibes. She only had to hear of the existence of Rose's mum at UNIT and decided she was also going to be involved.

Susan Triad says she remembers worlds with orange skies, which certainly sounds like Gallifrey, so could there be a Susan connection after all? I noted down that her father was a postman and her mother a dinner lady, but so far have gleaned nothing from this.

I love Lenny Rush! I've seen him in lots of things at this point and he's so charismatic and funny, especially for a fifteen year old. I hope Morris will stay on for a while yet!

It seems strange that UNIT didn't know about Susan (Foreman), since I'm pretty sure we've seen in the past that they have files on all the Doctors, including One.

[sbbarnes]

Hockey Romances. Why?

So I was taken out of work a couple weeks ago due to ~pregnancy stuff~ (mostly just stress, the baby and I are fine) which has left me with a lot of spare time on my hands. And as one does, I have been filling my time reading lgbtq+ romance novels. Because I can.

In this time, I have fallen headfirst into the hockey romance novel subgenre, and I ask myself, as I have done every time I see these books advertised, why? I am not a sports fan. One time, my husband was watching football (European), and a team in red kits was playing against yellow kits, and I started laughing because "it looks like ketchup is playing against mustard". His expression was great, but he hasn't taken me seriously since.

So why is hockey of all things such a draw for the mlm romance subgenre? Especially given the NHL's apparent fear of rainbow tape? Why do I now know what the word "celly" refers to and what an "enforcer" is? Why why why?

Here are my answers:

Extremely organic way to set up some of the most classic romance tropes. Forced proximity? Being on the same team takes care of that. There was only one bed? Shared hotel rooms during away games. Enemies to lovers? Rival teams.

Lots of potential for drama given that players lead very transient lives in terms of the constant possibility of trades. In mlm love stories, even more so given that the NHL is so blatantly homophobic.

Perfect level of fame. Fame and wealth as a draw for a love interest are kind of staples of the genre, and NHL players are famous, sure, but not all of them, and they aren't as famous as football stars (either kind of football). They are still filthy rich, which makes great wish fulfillment. You can have the sexy penthouse and the anonymity.

I would go on to talk about how different roles on the team lend themselves to different tropes (goalie = tightly controlled dude who needs someone to help him cut loose; enforcer = misunderstood fighter with a heart of gold; coach for all your forbidden love/sleeping with the boss desires) but that would very quickly reveal my utter lack of hockey knowledge, so let's not. Instead, here's a quick reclist.

Rachel Reid's Game Changers series. It's a classic in the genre for a reason and it has everything. Forbidden love? Got that, maybe the definitive example. Redemption arc? Got that. Misunderstood bruiser with a heart of gold? Got that. Age difference? Got that. Also really excellent sex scenes, not gonna lie, and satisfying endings throughout - sometimes a happy end will come a little suddenly for me, but these books really delivered, and the nice thing about how romance series are structured is that you get a little peek at what comes after for the couples in the other books.

2. Him, Us and Epic by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy. This one surprised me, I don't generally go for first person POVs, but I did enjoy this! Coming-of-age story turned coming out story featuring a budding hockey star and his best friend. Lots of fun.

3. Scoring Chances series by Avon Gale. This series is fun in that it doesn't focus on the NHL, it actually focuses on the minor leagues in the southeast of the US, a place almost no one associates with ice hockey. As such, there's a chance to tell different stories about professional athletes who aren't super rich and famous, which I appreciate a lot. TBH the first pairing wasn't entirely my cup of tea, but I'm glad I kept going because I especially enjoyed the later books, which tackle tough topics (including eating disorders, abuse etc., so content warning for that). These are still romance novels though, so rest assured that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. What I especially appreciate is that these books don't have relationship drama, in that the main couples communicate and work together instead of a third act break-up-make-up!

4. Hockey Ever After series by Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James. These are just great. Lots of fun to read, lots of cameos from character in later books, just excellent mood all around. Also features my favorite ever trope (secret relationship, sorry, anyone who knows me knows I am a sucker for it I just can't help myself) heavily, which is a win in my book. I especially enjoyed book two, "Scoring Position". Is that because Nico is German and I loved him? Is that because Ryan is my new blorbo? We may never know.

Happy reading and please give me recommendations for more books like these, I'm lowkey obsessed.

[gloomverse-theories]

About Rylie’s Red Magic

Rylie getting magic was possibly one of the most awaited moments in the comic, and the way it happened was incredibly impactful. A hat, emerging from her shadow in a time of need, hidden so close yet so far from her reach. And her magic was the cherry on top of this terrible cake tragedy! Color-coded super abilities definitely makes her magic stand out, but when talking about it, there’s always this question:

What will Red do?

And until it’s answered in the comic (or not), we have a lot of room to explore! 

But first, let’s go over

Magic Personalities

What is that, you ask? Why, it is conveniently explained in Purple’s “How Magic Work” bonus strip! But knock-off Purple here explains it decently too.

The magic that you get is dependent on your interests, your biggest one, unless you’re really into rule-breaking things like the human body or cats. The type of magic you got is then fixed forever, and you have to live with the consequences of being really into marbles at age 10. Not everyone of us fixate on something cool like space, WALLIS. 

Going back to Rylie. What WAS Rylie’s biggest interest at the time? What we know about Rylie is that she likes black and edgy/rebellious fashion, but is also cursed with rainbow dreads. That’s a solid contender, since her magic is based on colors. Looking at her room, she likes skull motifs, ponies, anime, and plushies.

A bit less relevant to her magic, although it is very anime magic. And finally, when she was in the hat store, dreaming up of what her magic could be, it was the power to jump as high as building, a nice foreshadowing and a sign that she did want that!

But let’s look deeper.

Assistant’s biggest desire was to belong, and the Gloom filled it and made her feel like family. 

She got her hat when they were all in danger of death. 

She got her magic pleading for a way to save them.

And the magic answered. 

So I think the conditions in which she got her hat possibly influenced her magic!

Blue and Yellow Magic

Before going over the possibilities for red magic, let’s see what common points we can find between the two revealed power ups. 

The most obvious thing is that they are color themed, in case you hadn’t noticed, and correspond to the rainbow (blue - yellow - red) on her wand (which is where we get the red for her next magic). She starts by saying the color out loud, but later manages to switch without speaking. 

Both of her powers manifest as clothes: a pair of boots and a pair of gloves, and give her superhuman abilities, like lifting giant rocks and jumping very high. 

So now we have the blueprint of her future magic: themed after a color (most likely red), wearable as clothes on her body, and providing Rylie with superpowered abilities. 

I want to add that it should also respect the three rules of magic, but it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it.

Telekinesis

Let’s start with something silly. Rylie has been shown a few times to be interested in ponies. She has an Unicron poster in her new room, and a twilight plushie in her old room.

Ponies are a longstanding interest of hers, and magic is based on interests! Most My Little Pony iterations have 3 main types of ponies: earth pony, pegasus, and unicorns. 

Earth ponies are strong, and are shown to give stronger bucks/kicks than others. Rylie uses Yellow magic to punch people into the air. 

Pegasus ponies can fly around and walk on clouds. Rylie uses Blue magic to jump around and almost fly (though the only time she sinks into a cloud is when she’s wearing her boots in her dream, but that’s the trauma). 

Unicorn ponies are overpowered and can make incredibly complex spells, but the most commonly used one is telekinesis. In this theory, Red would allow Rylie to move objects from a distance (like Wallis can already do!), and the article of clothing could be anything, from a differently shaped wand she can point at stuff, to a headset with horns. Who knows! 

Senses

Rylie’s magic has a running theme of splitting her wand into two parts: pair of gloves for her two hands and pair of boots for her- ah, nevermind that.

But do you know what else comes in two? Kidneys! Lungs! Ears! Eyes! I think I’m safe to discard the first two since they are inside, but eyes and ears make for good contenders. If Yellow gloves boost her strength, why not Red goggles that improve her eyesight? Perhaps a full headset to improve both hearing and seeing! That may not be as exciting as jumping around, but it is definitely useful in a situation where discretion matters (like Virga hunting the group down). 

Wings

Something really interesting about the Yellow magic is that the hat STILL has a little wing as a decoration on it! It made sense for Blue since winged shoes have been a thing for thousands of years (Hermes’ winged sandals) and it grants her the power to almost “fly” when she jumps, but why keep the wing on her hat when she has punching gloves? Because it’s not any kind of punch. It’s an AIR-punch! That sends Cakegirl FLYING! Interesting!

Rylie does have a lot of connections to clouds and sky, for someone who takes after a Light-themed mancer, does she not? That’s why I argue that Red could be a pair of wings, either as a cape or fixed to her arms. While that could seem redundant with her jumping boots, it could also go well with it, allowing her to glide instead of falling immediately back down. That would be a useful mid-air shift, or a good way to not die when plummeting towards the ocean from a height that transforms water surface into deadly concrete, as a random example. 

Freeze

Finally, my main theory. There is another theme that I noticed between Yellow and Blue magic: Fight or Flight response. Yellow is Fight, Blue is Flight. It’s the possible reaction to a threat: you either run away and escape the threat, or you attack the threat and dispose of it. Rylie got her magic during a very active threat to her wellbeing and her friends’, and she pleaded for a way to save them. Magic answered by enhancing her ability to flee and to fight!

But there is a third (and fourth) response to a threat: freezing behavior, to become rigid and petrified in place. Red would be the magic’s “freezing” response, and allow Rylie to block a direct attack, through a shield or armor, and overall make her be able to tank and sustain damage. While not as showy as the other two colors, and definitely harder to turn into an asset for her own magic show, the theme of the three stress responses makes me really like this option.

The fourth response is fawning, but it is not as easy to translate into a magic power up as freeze. 

Something else

I’m no wizard, and the future is as clouded to me as it is to you. Red magic could be either or none of these options. Perhaps it enhances something else, like her speed, or gives her more ranged powers, like a whip or a bow, perhaps it’s dual swords because it would be cool! Maybe it will come up in a moment where Rylie experiments with her magic while everything is calm, or maybe it will be something that helps Rylie in a dire moment, summoned from instinct. Who knows! But it is fun to speculate, and I hope you had fun too. 

There is however one last possibility.

We will never know what Red magic does, if Rylie never tries it.

After all this time, all those nightmares, the color Red may not be the most enticing color to try with magic. Something about an evil magician with red eyes and a red wand. 

Why try RED, when there’s so many other colors to try from? Perhaps Green will be a combination of Blue and Yellow, or an entirely new ability! The Green lady seemed so much nicer than the Red figure obliterating her. 

So those were my thoughts on Rylie’s magic! 

TL;DR

Magic is based on personal interest

Rylie got hers in a moment of trauma 

Her magic consist of ability-enhancing color-coded accessories

Possible options for red magic power-up:

Telekinesis as a nod to Rylie’s brony phase

Enhanced vision/hearing to pair with her other enhanced abilities

Wings because of the air-theme and little wing decorations

A shield/armor as a freezing response to go with the current two’s fight or flight theme 

Something else

We will never find out because of Rylie’s trauma with red tinted magic

[suffarustuffaru]

The fanbase is scaring me, the redesigns brought up some weird people that are REALLY passionate about Liliana being half naked

Like theres a whole war going on on twitter rn and the poor character designer got harassed

My problem is with the amount of people upset with this, like i knew we had a bunch of pedos around because of the way tappei writes the girls, but damn i didnt think there were this many of them 💀

yes ive heard about that....... im answering your ask late oops haah but i hope the situations a Bit better..... the toxic parts of this fandom give me a headache but my usual motto is to stay off twitter, touch grass, ignore people, and then hold onto my own viewpoints unless proven wrong alsjdflsdj but like. yeah this fandom is a bit tough to stay in when it comes to certain circles (for example the amount of people low quality shitposting / ranting about the fandom or whatever on rezero ao3 atm in the past days/weeks is. mm. interesting). not my first time being in larger fandoms that make you sometimes feel like youre fighting in the trenches (you could name off a few big fandoms notorious for being toxic that date back to like 2016 and odds are ive been in a couple lajdlf) but yeah seeing people complain about liliana and capella's designs and then overly fixate on emilia's boobs when these three characters have more to bring to the table than just that and theres lots and lots of good things to say about the s3 trailer and their designs..... mm. yeah. im squinting hard at a few of the things ive heard on that. but anyway!!

like the new designs are an Improvement. In General. like ok, as a boob haver myself ("boob haver" is the funniest phrase to me alsdjfls but it is true nonetheless, i am one) i do not give a shit about emilias larger boobs like ok?? her boobs are bigger?? she is still my fav ever and sometimes it just happens when youre still a growing teen/young adult and emilias back to her more revealing main outfit when she wore a different outfit in s2 so the difference in chest size is really not that much. but liliana and capella? those are Improved designs. i think ive talked abt the treatment of underage characters / characters who appear underage on my blog before (and i definitely couldve worded myself better then but i stand behind the fact that some of the stuff otsuka and tappei do regarding this in rezero is just Unnecessary).

could designs like emilia's still be improved on in other ways? yeah 100%, just in the sense that there could probably be changed a bit to fit her slightly more timid and soft spoken personality. or you could take different directions on it in general if you wanted. ive seen some great redesigns of her main outfit!! though her main outfit in of itself is pretty nice to look at imo and its iconic and well-known for a reason. im of the personal opinion that i wish it was a little less revealing in the same vein that her s2 main outfit was (i like that outfit a lot!!) but its still a really solid design overall.

i had some faith after seeing the anime designers fix up typhoon's original design to be More Appropriate, and i love how the essence of liliana and capella's designs were kept the same. like its not just that theyre a little less revealing (and even then, theyre both still showing a lot of skin!!! which is good!!! i like the improvement while keeping the main stuff the same), but stuff like liliana's pants aren't transparent (probably to make it easier to animate?) and the yellow/orange gradient in capella's hair looks great!! they also both look more like grown women which is a bonus. unless youre Weird about this shit which is unfortunately a small percentage of the rezero community. like you cant win with those sort of people ig, bc capella's boobs are bigger too ljasdlfj youd think that win more people over.

also i appreciate capella's sports bra bc unlike elsa's outfit it Actually looks like it's supporting her chest. if youre someone with boobs and you dont have a flat chest, youre gonna need support when being active or itll Hurt. and elsa Does Not have proper chest support okay. ill forever wince remembering elsa's design in that sense HAH....

anyway but i digress. i got no clue what to do with toxic people in fandoms despite spending a lot of time lurking in large fandoms with loud toxic people haah.... its hard to do much about it especially with increasingly declining media literacy rates everywhere.... the notorious misogyny/homophobia/etc that can happen sometimes in anime communities.... that sort of thing. i kinda just avoid it when it comes to rezero in specific, or briefly talk about it on here, or rant about it to myself in my head or chat with pals about it in private if it really frustrates me that much!! and id say im a pretty patient person hah... im not frustrated often. and the fandom is not all weird people of course and i can attest to that as ive chatted with a lot of people here... ive also seen a lot of people leave due to the fandom's Issues which is. totally fair tbh.

and i think rezero is often a "baby's first fandom" so to speak... i dont mean that in a bad way of course but its more like its the first exposure to fandom and fandom etiquette and fic etiquette and that sort of thing when it comes to english circles. or at least its a pattern ive noticed, so my theory is that that occasionally that combines with toxic fans and then you get a few people complaining about the community and how bad our fics are on rezero ao3 ig lajdlfjsdlf. which is false by the way :<< and an annoying misuse of ao3 as a free creative archive :<<

but ultimately i hope the rezero character designer's alright (and honestly theyve done super super great work - like the anime Did Not need to give emilia a bajillion outfits and go above and beyond with improving liliana, capella, giving the suwens and their hometown a whole unique aesthetic, etc). and also while i have stuff to criticize with otsuka and tappei... and the toxic parts of the fandom hah... i still enjoy rezero apart from that and the uproar with the designs has not chipped away at me too much!! ive been in this fandom long enough i guess lmao i just roll with punches at this point T^T but i also just try to look on the bright side a lot in general so ;-;;;

these are the sorts of things i like to be aware about but i dont like to get myself super involved with it (since itll probably make it worse and/or make me stressed for no good reason lmfaoo) and i wont let it enjoy the parts of rezero that i do enjoy a lot (which is to say like. the other 98% of rezero hah). so. getting off twitter is the biggest godsend i promise lajdlsfj.

but anyway!! yeah i dont have much organized thoughts on all of this, this is just me rambling my feelings on it. hope this all makes sense anon <3

[thefandomenchantress]

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 11 OF CHAPTER 2 IN DRDT

Alright, so I may be overthinking this...Like, a lot...but I've got a theory (Also this is copy and pasted from my comment on YouTube).

So something interesting I only caught on a rewatch is that David does not actually confirm all of Ace's testimony.  Here's the quote:

"But I will admit, I did indeed meet Arei last night in the relaxation room.  As for what I actually talked to her about...Well, I've already forgotten!  She's dead now, so who cares?"

Now what I gathered from this was that while he is confirming that he met with Arei in the relaxation room, he is not confirming that their conversation contained the information Ace said that it did.

Which struck me as odd, since you'd think after giving that whole speech about just admitting the truth, David would just admit that Arei accused him of having that secret.  But he doesn't.  Instead, he keeps repeating that Ace is lying about something, (Since he says he wants to call Ace a "worthless lying piece of shit") but doesn't bother actually calling him out on it.  Not because of his pride or anything, like he said was his reason for revealing his secret, but because he thought that the rest of the cast wouldn't listen, implying this was the truth but that none of them were willing to hear it anymore.  And so he drops the topic and Ace's entire testimony is just kinda confirmed in the rest of the cast's eyes, even the stuff that wasn't confirmed by David.

So in my opinion, with all that evidence...Ace is definitely lying about the stuff that happened when David and Arei met up.  I'm not sure what they actually talked about, but it probably wasn't related to David's secret, since David seemed so surprised Ace knew about his secret even though his conversation with Arei could've easily been overheard.

But the next question we have to address is...Why would Ace even lie in the first place?

The obvious answer is that he was being suspected of murder and wanted to throw the blame onto David, and that might be true.  But if Ace was lying about this entire interaction like I suspect, that would require him to have already picked up on the fact that David was a lying manipulator, something no one besides Teruko had noticed.

And if Ace already knew that, without overhearing anything, you'd think he'd just tell everyone, 'Hey, David is a manipulating scumbag', not make up an elaborate story about how he'd overheard Arei say it.

But here's the thing: Ace has stated over and over that he doesn't want to die, and that it's one of his greatest fears.  Veronika told him that being so mean to everyone would make them want to kill him, and that's true for murders like the one Nico pulled, that was done purely on emotion and no regards for what could happen in result of their actions.  But if you really thought about it for more than a few seconds, you'd realize that if you really wanted to get away with murder, you'd aim to kill the people who you'd think could solve the murder.  You wouldn't go for the idiot jockey who wouldn't be able to solve the case no matter how hard he tried.

But if Ace were to say that he has more observational skills than literally everyone else in the room, since he managed to catch onto the fact that David was a manipulator when no one else did, (Besides Teruko, who only knew because of her first interaction with David when he broke character), then that would be all the reason a killer would need to justify killing Ace.  He was a complete jerk and could potentially notice things the others didn't.

So instead of telling the rest of the class that he was the one who caught onto David's false persona, he claimed Arei figured it out, simply by reading the secret over Whit's shoulder, something he oh-so-conveniently didn't notice at all.

...So yeah.  That's why I think David was calling Ace a liar even after he said he'd stop denying things that weren't true.  I'm probably waaaay overthinking this, but that's my theory.

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

was wondering if u had any thoughts about how byakuya, kyoko n makoto feel abt their talents or titles? just asking cuz lot of thh characters have interesting dynamics w their ultimates, like leon loving/hating baseball or even makoto feeling left out from all other ultimates because he was only "lucky." things change as makoto changes + he gains the unofficial title of ult hope and stuff, and kyoko canonically forgot about her talent until its revealed at the end (tho considering how much she investigates, she probably had a suspicion), but maybe you have some other ideas expanding on this?

sorry for the kinda vague question, your art is amazing btw

Alrighty then! I can work with this and I shall try my best to answer this! It's not to vague anyway and there's some interesting though experiments and discussions to be had here! Don't sweat it! Also thanks for the art compliment! Didn't know where to put this but I felt I shouldn't just not acknowledge it!! That might be rude! Here ya go though! Makoto: He feels both out of place due to his talent being just "the ultimate lucky student". He gets it to some extent though sometimes, he doesn't feel very lucky. When he becomes The Ultimate Hope, there's a still a bit of that feeling there. Mostly due to the fact that, he hasn't had this title for long. Just a moment ago, he still believed he was just some average joe. And now, he's impacting people's lives to THIS extent. It kinda puts him in a weird situation where Makoto gets where people are coming from but also has a bit of that self-doubt left inside of him. He's made himself believe that he's so average that it takes him a while to fully realize his strengths besides his optimism. Kyoko: Kyoko's identity is intrinsically linked to her Ultimate. Thus, even though she was relatively functional during her memory loss, it sitll hit her. It was if something was... missing. She couldn't pin point what but she had an inkling that something was off about her. Kyoko couldn't even give out info of her past to Makoto if she wanted to due to how bad her memory loss is. Once she finally recovers it, I can see her outlook on her talent being relatively the same but with some differences. One factor is that her regaining her memories wasn't clean and she may still have some fogginess in there. One cannot expect one's memory to just return to the way it was after what she went through anyway! Junko didn't hold back on her due to Kyoko being a detective and the headmaster's daughter. So, she might feel lost about her identity in some way due to the impact of the temporary memory erasure she got. Byakuya: Like Kyoko, Byakuya's identity is highly linked to his talent and world view. He distrusts others due to this and, because of his ties to his talent, in chapter 4, his whole worldview was put into question. This then led him freaking out during the trial, being defensive, and being forced to learn empathy. Though he ends up flipping back into his own level of normalcy, that revelation remains. The heir just ends up hiding it much better as to not have a freak out like he did before during that trial. That's short lived though since Junko ends up revealing that all the Togami's are dead which hits him hard once more. His legacy is almost gone. The great family name of the Togami's have fallen. And, sure. He's gonna rebuild it all. Kinda like with Kyoko's case though, it still leaves an impact. Byakuya heavily uses his last name as a crutch, showing it as a status of power. It's all he really knows. And, sure. He might not have had that close of a relationship with the majority of his family. It still stung though. It made him question even more on how great he really was. Yeah, Junko was diabolical and cunning. He still thinks of what could have been done to prevent all of this though and dwells. Also, the Ultimate title prob influences their outward appearance too. Though that isn't too crazy of a claim. But, maybe Makoto wears his get up both to subconsciously not seem bigger than he is but also to try and look a bit more presentable. Also it's trendy and he's a trend follower. It's probably comfy too. For Kyoko, the gloves are a key part of her backstory so there's that. She might also have that jacket or something cus it helps her keep a lot of notes in it. I dunno! Maybe it's got a ton of inner pockets to compensate for her skirt being pocketless. Also, for Byakuya, he's rich and all. Thus, it's all probably Togami branded and way too much money. I find it funny though that, he's the richest in the class but is the easiest to cosplay! Okay. May have rambled a bit at the end there! Hope this was good and made some sense though!!

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Dead Plate (Part 1)

hello!! its been a while since ive posted but here i am!!! so this game is Dead Plate created by STUDIO INVESTIGRAVE

i had played one of their games before, Elevator Hitch, and i really really enjoyed it! so im very excited for this new game that theyve released

though, this game is probably really different from Elevator Hitch, because that game was a visual novel type of game while this one has restaurant tycoon gameplay

still, im very excited

i hope i can get all the endings today (but probably not) as always, spoilers under the cut!

i know its literally just the title screen BUT it looks very classy

also the music? its a bop like yo BellKalengar is the composer and sound designer and like yo!! amazing job its literally just the title screen and im amazed already LMFAO

alright then lets begin

lolol i like the way they named the buttons for doing the tutorial, skipping the tutorial or just leaving the game on auto progress time to show up at 5 am then

the art is really cute these characters are really cute too esp the protag

i know its just the tutorial but i am very nervous LOL doing service jobs make me nervous (even tho this is only a fictional one)

bro protag why did u skim the interview thing 😭 is that why u've had 28 jobs in 7 years 💀

ooh interesting the cooks have an order in which they cook meals i need to remember that

wow so theres a lot to do huh theres seating the customers, taking their orders, bringing those orders to the kitchen, serving the food, going to the cash register to take their payments, cleaning up the tables AND throwing out the trash its a lot more than i was expecting,,,, lol good luck to me i guess

so like fun fact im actually not that good at playing games LOL esp this kind of game where theres like people and they have like a happy meter kind of thing going on i wonder if any of the endings will be tied to how well we do during the work day ?? probably

also can i just say that the music is really good i like the kinda jazzy (is that the right word??) vibes going on

it makes me less nervous about serving customers since its very chill LOL

WHY IS THIS CUSTOMER HITTING ME WITH A HARD QUESTION

I HAVE NO IDEA IF WE HAVE TO-GO BOXES OR WHATEVR WHAT HUH ?????

there is a right answer and i have no idea what it is im gonna lose my mind please. ok well lets pick an answer

im gonna go 'no' since the restaurant has a strict menu that changes daily right? so maybe they wouldnt do to-go boxes or ordering ahead and stuff (RIGHT???)

oh phew ok i picked the right one

LOL the banter between the protag and the tutorial guy (i dont know his name)

??? what the hell this customer just left right as i got the food bro 😭😭 have some patience damn this aint a fast food place

now i have to throw away this perfectly good meal (sorry cooks)

oh no now the real game is starting uhh aight alright then lets go

ok so that was like only three customers, i did pretty well but the day's not over yet shdajhsdsakhj i feel like a disaster n it was only three customers LMAO

oh it was only 3 customers for day 1 nice (i got jumpscared by the sound effect for the day ending LFMAO)

ooh green onion rolls,,, it looks good damn now i want to eat LOL

BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?????? damn,,,,

the music for this area is pretty chill tho

THE BATHROOM IS FLOODING??? AGAIN ?!??! BRO ??? THATS DISGUSTING

the window has a horrible view its just another building

oho? she? who???

bro dont leave the dishes for later thats sooo gross

??? HOW DID YOU BURN CEREAL???? WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO ??

i am appalled at the protag's lifestyle i cant even

so he has not finished writing lyrics and love letters for this girl he mentioned earlier the game is not revealing her name and im wondering why hmm its very sus

sorry im laughing so hard??? its mostly empty except for some cans and the fucking green onion rolls im cackling?? they look so out of place in this fridge LMFAO

bro how are you so bad at cooking that you burnt food in the microwave??? what are you doing???

wait. is his bed the couch???? bro i feel so bad for this guy

he biked through the rain,,,,, and he thought doing it fast would dry him,,, in the rain,,,,, im starting to understand why he somehow managed to burn cereal

he doesnt own an umbrella

aww this is cute thanks boss

he LIVES here??? wow damn his apartment is upstairs thats very cool

LOL protag keep ur mouth shut

day 2 here we go

SHIT HELP I TOOK TOO LONG ONE OF THE CUSTOMERS LEFT NOOO im restarting jkdsljlds its a good thing i saved

ahh i did way better this time but the day ended right as i was about to take out the trash LOL

oooh those look tasty too

oops ok so like i started day 3 right

well i was like 'i'll take out the trash before serving any customers' so that i can just easily clean up the tables right

uhh but then suddenly this happened ??? so like protag dropped the bag and cut their finger and the boss is having an odd reaction to the sight of blood methinks

HTHE BOSS JUST SLAPPED HIM ??? WTF

bro he just slapped him then was like 'oh dw someone else will clean it up' hello???? you just slapped ???? me ???

ok then moving on to the rest of the day i guess??

kinda weird looking but it still looks appetizing (the magic of art LOL)

oh shit theres a magazine ?? oops im gonna go back and read through previous ones oh nevermind its just the same one lmao

ohhh so this is where i buy items ok aight

and this catalogue is how our protag knew about the job for a waiter it also has an interview with our boss (Chef Vincent Charbonneau, i finally know his name) about the low number of employees i was wondering why we were the only waiter in the restaurant and i guess thats why

ok i bought the rollerskates cuz i need to be faster for the customers

oh and u can interact w the telephone to call 'her' but she doesnt pick up oof

sorry what is happening right now

what is that weird squelching sound?!?!?

BRO?? WTF WAS THAT ??? so like his body felt itchy, pressed Z to scratch and then suddenly lines were all over his body and then knives came out and i am so very confused

i think that was just a dream but what a weird nightmare

i guess onto day 4 then ?? at least i have my sick new rollerskates now

ooh that looks tasty

man i think im too slow cuz the timer always runs out while one more customer is still around lmfao, oh well

oh shit another nightmare

ohh so i can only equip one item at a time hmmm well since i bought the watch anyways i guess i'll use it

PFFT A CUSTOMER LEFT SORRY LADY,, she was waiting to be seated but i was preoccupied with serving food oopsies

restarting the day then

the nightmare hmm is the protag's name Rody since thats what it says on the label

DAMNIT I TOOK TOO LONG AGAIN

ok im just gonna use the rollerskates this time

AGGHH I KEEP TAKING TOO LONG ON THIS ONE CUSTOMER

restarting again,,,,

should i just let it go? probably but im not going to

IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IVE RESTARTED SO MANY TIMES

ok well youve not seen it but i have restarted day 5 soo many times and i am hungry so,,, here's where i'll leave it for today

even though i am struggling and getting frustrated, im really enjoying the game so far! i wish i wasnt so terrible at playing it so i could see more of the story LOL

like what is up with the boss? who is this girl that the protag likes so much? what is up with his weird nightmares??? and will i ever be able to finish day 5 ?????

tune in next time LOL byebyeee

[faksyan]

completing the trilogy of asks by asking about thoughts on mr bibo :)

This was genuinely such a difficult one for me to answer, and I'll get into why. I've thought about him a bunch, but a lot of the time it kind of lacks coherent conclusions. He's such an interesting character.

First impression

I liked him a lot. He is so fun in mgs3, I really really like his hug with Eva, and his interactions with others. He's so snarky and funny, he is easy to like, that's the whole point. I love how 3 is made too, its style is so cool.

Impression now

Fuck that guy (mostly because I love Kaz Miller so much and I have to be angry on his behalf. it's the law). But also knowing even the little we get from Snake Eater about how he was before The Boss's death, he makes me so fucking sad. He is a victim of a system, he is lonely, and he doesn't view himself as a person past her death, and I'm not sure if he really did before. I feel like I don't understand him that well, while I have specific thoughts or at least headcanons about some other characters, bb is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't think anyone aside from maybe Joy and briefly Kaz ever understood him or got close to him, and I don't think he understood himself most of the time either. He seems like the type to be very detached from his own emotions past her death, like he is a lot more complex than Ocelot in his logic and what he does and how he processes things, and I don't quite even know why. I love him a lot, but also. fuck him you know.

Favorite moment

I'll have to rewatch peace walker at some point but probably everything that has to do with the AI pod. The implications of his scar and its reveal, the conversation before Strangelove tortures him. Basically, most of pw. Also all the silly and fun codec stuff from 3, and the ending. First encounter also!!! I love all of it so much okay I can't choose.

Idea for a story

I briefly thought about a time travel thing where he gets to experience Snake Eater again and tries to save The Boss. He isn't usually the shining star of my ideas, mostly if he's in tandem with Kaz. I had an idea for a silly the office-style comedy fic about them reuniting in FOXHOUND and having to work together.

Unpopular opinion

Is Ocelot's feeling for him being unrequited unpopular? I feel like I've seen it a bunch, but I don't think anything else comes to mind. Maybe also bb not being an experienced daddy dom or whatever because that is NOT him and I see that simetimes. Though I think it's more just people having fun, which, nothing against either way, but to me that is an aroace man and he does not care <- I say that about every other character uh

Favorite relationship

Him and The Boss. It's such a devoted relationship that we see mainly the aftermath of, but it's the start and end of it all. Also I really enjoy his banter in calls/tapes with the mgs3 crew and peace walker cast, and it's interesting to think about what thy got up to when they worked together. Him and Kaz also have. such a history. I had a first encounter analysis somewhere, I should finish it at some point.

Favorite headcanon

Not that he necessarily isn't grateful when people sacrifice themselves for him, but that he kind of takes it for granted. Even if The Boss didn't go easy on him with her training, he still had a reputation of being a student of the world's best soldier. And I feel like that might have gotten into his head. He knows that he has that effect on people, and for him it's just how things are. I like the idea of the scar on his chest being Ocelot's work, as per bb's request, and I might have even written a fic about it wink wink.

I feel like I have a lot more to say about him, I definitely do, but I've been putting off answering the ask for a few days already. Not that I feel that I don't get him per se, more that there are too many interpretations to choose from, and I haven't settled on the one I find the most "right" (to me/my taste/whatever), so that's what you get for now!

[one-flower-one-sword]

what's your favorite part of TGCF, and what about it do you like so much? ignore me if you've shared this before

omg it's been so long since you sent this ask, I am so sorry T_T I was really grateful to for you sending it, but stuff kept coming up and I simply did not have the emotional energy, and also did not want to give a half-hearted reply. that said I often struggle at articulating exactly why I like something, but I'll try!!

okay first thing that comes to mind when I think of why I like TGCF so much is that I really enjoy MXTX's writing style - of course, what I read was the English translation but I assume her style still comes across. I find the way the novel is written both very easy and very engaging to read. I was never bored and on the contrary had a really hard time putting down each volume so as not to read it all in one go. All the emotions came across really well, the novel succeeded both in making me laugh and making me cry. That's another thing I like about it, that with this story you get the whole range of comedy, action, romance, and horror. It's rare that a story manages to both incorporate and balance these at times contrasting aspects so well.

I also really liked how poetic the writing was at times, and how both philosophical and political concepts and ethics were woven into the plot and expressed through the characters.

Speaking of, I enjoyed all the characters so much. They're so well-rounded and feel so real, and there are so many interesting side characters. Jun Wu is a fantastic antagonist and Hualian are such an engaging pairing. I love both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng as individual characters as well as a couple - right from the start you can tell how much they simply enjoy each other's company, and their romance is just… it really moved my heart.

As for a favorite scene… there are so many!!! it's really hard to pick. I love Xie Lian meeting Hua Cheng “for the first time” at the beginning of the story and being so immediately intrigued with him, it's such a peak romantic encounter. I also love the reveal in the caves, even though (or because) parts of it are so heartbreaking, since it's rare to see Hua Cheng so vulnerable and emotional. I enjoy angsty moments like that a lot, I have to admit….

If I have to pick a single favorite moment, it'd be the battle between Hua Cheng and Jun Wu in Vol 8. First of all, super engaging fight scene, love that. Also epic as fuck!! like them fighting on top of The Heaven-Crossing Bridge that shakes every time their swords clash from how powerful the blows are while Hua Cheng's wraith butterflies face off against the vengeful spirits below? damn.

Then the delicious angst of Xie Lian being absolutely terrified for Hua Cheng, especially when Jun Wu starts to ruthlessly take advantage of Hua Cheng's disability*… and then it all culminating in Xie Lian still defying Jun Wu and sticking to what he's always known is right, and then ending in Hua Cheng's sacrifice, another peak romantic scene that had my heart race and made me cry so many tears. All of it exceeded my expectations for that final confrontation, I was just completely emotionally satisfied.

*Not gonna go into it here in detail since I've already posted it about several times and more in depth, but given the topic of this ask I can't not mention how intrigued I was by the way Hua Cheng navigates their world while disabled, the way he can compensate for it in some ways but not in others. It's a not insignificant part of why I love him as a character so much.

Last but not least the novel accompanied me all through last year and the beginning of this one and got me through some tough times. more than that, it made me take up meta and fanfic writing again after a long creative drought, and I will always look at it fondly and with gratitude for that.

hope this turned out a satisfying answer! what's your favorite part of the novel? :3c

[kafkaoftherubbles]

Does Fushi's Ability to Revive People Ruin The Story? // 不死的复活能力是否崩坏了故事的世界观与主题？

I wrote a whole essay by accident while musing about someone else's question on Discord. I decided to post the stuff here, too, as a record for future versions of me.

I think the revival ability introduces new contemplative angles to a story about life, death, rebirths, and living forever.

The theme of immortality, as well as death and grief, are not new. A lot of them ended up being cautionary tales, and a lot ended up being about the inevitability of death and mourning, too. 

Though many of these stories are also interesting and thoughtful, I also think they are very thoroughly explored. It's hard to spin new ideas out of molds that have existed as long as humans had begun telling stories to each other. What can you say that hasn't already been said?

So I think that's where Fushi's revival power really works. Instead of the themes and ideas most of us have likely gotten used to, Oima added a rarer angle to her exploration. In fact, she kinda subverted the idea that Fushi was "just an immortal being who could kinda create things" and revealed to us that they had always meant to be a Creator-in-Training. Immortality is just one aspect of his "conditions". 

On the other hand, I think one of the reasons why a good few people don't like this revival/resurrection thing is because it betrays a certain expectation of the story--at least, according to what I've seen from detractors.

Seems like a lot of people hopped into the story because it started out "tragically beautiful." It's got this thing about life and death from the eyes of an immortal, and so it's easy to immediately assume certain expectations based on previous similar stories: the pains of being an immortal, the tragic cycle of life and death, the loneliness of those left behind, etc.

But, honestly, the idea that death is "final" and "irreversible" was already shattered when "rebirth" was introduced. I suspect it was less of a point of contention because rebirth introduces angles that are still congruent to people who wanted to read about "the tragic beauty of life", as well as being somewhat familiar in pop culture. In Hinduism and Buddhism, for example, attachment is what causes reincarnation (former) and rebirth (latter). Hayase's rebirths are basically that—attachment-caused. It also sets up a mortal foil (as opposed to immortal foil, i.e. the Nokkers) to Fushi, and flows into a story of Hayase+Left Hand Nokker's karma/lives intertwining with Fushi's. 

However! When "revival" was introduced, there are a lot more people who didn't like it or are hesitant. It completely breaks any expectations they had for this story. Death becomes less of a finality and more of a choice. The immortal now has a bunch of immortal friends--not even in the rebirth/reincarnation way, but as "themselves." If the story isn't gonna be about Fushi grappling with the biggest philosophical questions on life and death, then what can they still grapple with as the story goes on? It probably feels like a thematic betrayal to the detractors, right? 

Someone on the Discord group also pointed out a real good point: it made some viewers/readers wonder why they shed their tears and grieve when these people came back in the end. Maybe there is a sense of emotional devaluement?

In my opinion, the Present Era answered the question of "What can Fushi still grapple with?". Instead of grappling with issues of death and life's grand tragedies, Fushi is now forced to grapple with life's details. For example: how do you love? The fuck is love?

Do relationships and companionships—no matter how much impact and weight they possess when you have them—still wane and end, even if the people's physical death is out of the question? What happens if people "move on"? What happens when people "don't need you anymore"?

What sort of outlook on life should one form—how does one know if it's right or wrong?

What is a perfect life?

I think the revival ability allowed these newer themes to surface, and be framed in novel ways. It also works well because a good few characters used for these themes are Fushi's revived friends, with all that history entailed. It also makes for an interesting comparison to the latest Hayase-styled rebirth in the Present Era, because she is an extension of Kahaku to the present and inherits all that karmic conditions, and yet unlike Fushi's revived friends who are "themselves", she is also her own slate and not-Kahaku. And of course, the new dance with them Nokkers...

But people who wanted to see TYE for bigger philosophical questions could find these musings too small and banal. I kinda sympathize with them. This ain't what they believed they were promised. 

Ultimately though, I hope the detractors can get to terms with the shake-up and read the story through another lens, or adopt a different idea of what this story is about. The way I interpret it from the get-go is that To Your Eternity has never been (just) about death or "the beautiful tragedy of life". I thought it has always been about the struggles of being human. A Creator, a Creator-in-training, supernatural alien-souls, people who are born in bad times, people who are dehumanized as monsters, criminals and their offsprings, people who are raised in messed-up families, robot dolls... All of them are unified by this same quest.

Hence, I personally don't feel thematically betrayed because it stays true to this backbone. In fact, I'm happy that its exploration diversifies.

Thank you for reading my ramble.