#RANT OVER i think its getting too personal

[gaiaxygang]

kanghan dangerous romance (trips and falls down the stairs)

[sodrippy]

one of these days i need the full story of your dnd mishap

😭😭😭 please

the short story is our party had three people (2 players + DM) who thought we were playing a fun friendly magical campaign and two people who wanted to recreate a critical role campaign amongst themselves...i think if youre familiar w cr you might immediately see the issue there.

long story is people put WAY way too much personal shit into their characters and almost immediately started taking the actions of characters as genuine irl slights and like. two sessions in had already lost sight of the difference between the pc and the player.

oh shit this got really long im sorry i dont think you care This much but i havent thought about it in a while and it bewilders me every time-

SO i was playing a cunty rogue and had TOLD everyone 'hey she is probably gonna clash w the party at first, but she'll warm up to everyone really fast, so dont worry about that' like it was clearly in the spirit of building a realistic character who had her own hangups etc. which i assumed the others would understand bc they'd done the same. plus is it not boring and unreal asf if a bunch of strangers meet after a murder of someone close to them and all just get along immediately w no suspicions or secrecy? cmon man.

and yet. the two cr-people got really weird about my pirate character stealing (???) and sincerely pulled the dm aside to express their concerns about the 'level of violence being enacted' and asked that we all try to be aware of what class of people we did crimes against. like. they wanted me to stop stealing from the 99% and ask everyone if they were rich before i picked their pocket ig. ALL THE WHILE. ONE OF THE OFFENDING PCS WAS IN THE MAFIA?????? LIKE. DIRECTLY EMBEDDED IN THE MAFIA THAT RAN THE TOWN.

i suppose that pc was off the hook bc he did possess the elf cock that the other guy wanted so bad, so. love won. i guess.

anyway they ended up taking hours out of our sessions to just dialogue-rp about slowly falling in love in a complex way or something. except then the non-elf player was like 'actually, dm, can you give me a love interest npc i need to add more depth to my character.' or smth, to which our dm lovingly crafted a beautiful working class hero of a guy. which the pc proceeded to hard reject. what was the point of any of this? we may never know<3

need to be clear as well this was all happening over discord bc we all live in different timezones, my very close friend was up at 2AM for this bullshit every week. AND he didnt even KNOW these other people very well, but suddenly theyre finding fault w not just his character but him as a PERSON? i just rmrd they accused him of like.....negatively influencing me??? like. MORALLY???? brother we have been friends for 10 years you are nothing to us you dont know us like that lol.

but they did REALLY really hate my character, which eventually made me feel like shit all the time bc like. obviously im putting work into her, its a creative construction and to have it railed against that badly is not fun. so i said ok you know what, ill just make a new character, hopefully thatll keep the peace and we can salvage this.

so i pitch a new character and oh they LOVE her. they fucking love her concept. which was so.........the first character was a lot easier for me to play bc she was a little more like me, and this character was specifically the opposite....how am i meant to take that reaction, yknow

which also reminds me: the original pirate rogue i played was a tiefling (yeah yeah gay stereotype i know. im not subtle or original, whatever) and there was a complaint (made only half-jokingly, ykwim) that she was too white.

shes not even HUMAN what the fuck do you mean shes too WHITE. IM not white that should imbue any character i create w an inherent not-whiteness. but even still, again, she is half sea creature. shes not. human. to be assigned a race like that....hello??

anyway so these two cr-rp players eventually blocked me and my friend on tumblr without saying anything, and got confused when we found out and said 'yeah ok we dont wanna play dnd with some guy who has blocked us on other social media' as if WE were the weirdos. like they saw no problem w continuing this disastrous campaign as long as they got their mandatory monologue time.

the worst part is my dm made SUCH a stunning campaign and world and it was so so so fun outside of this mess, i still feel really bad they never got to realise the world fully. plus my character had a sickass backstory thing where she was like. slowly unlocking latent magic the longer she spent underwater bc her demon parent was abyssal and stuff. which is whatever but the sick part is she was developing SCALES and maybe GILLS. in like a nasty gorey way it was gonna be so cool. but noooo lets talk about strange morality and your lameass god for 1.5 hrs. at 11pm on a friday.

[running-in-the-dark]

my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.

anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.

[becca4leafclover]

I hate being in between friend groups cause I'm SUCH a person that rambles about shared interests and tells people about their known interests but when all my current friend groups have been distant and/or aren't watching The Thing I Know They'll Like and won't for an unspecified amount of time but also get upset over spoilers... it sucks cause I feel very alone :( the shared interest thing is just one part of the equation but its certainly the quickest to notice. I'm never people's first and that's fine but it sucks when I feel like I don't have anyone yknow?

[f1owermoon]

sorry i just. need to rant for a second

[mejomonster]

I would like. To be in mutual love

[did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star]

The last time I cried over missing my boyfriend was when I was drunk and 3 time zones away. Now Im sitting in my own bedroom, sober as can be, and I cant get him out of my damn head

[icy-gendango]

Just hit 21k words.... feeling wild... have a drabbl

[anti-transphobia]

I really REALLY wish people would start saying "have some sympathy/compassion" instead of "have some empathy". Feelings do often impact actions but....they don't have to. And a lot of problems arise when actions are taken solely based on emotions. The type of empathy I'm best at is cognitive empathy - recognizing and understanding how someone might be feeling - and that's a skill that's shaky at best. Emotional empathy I nearly completely lack. I can count the amount of times someone had made me feel their emotions on one hand (I think about three times in my entire life).

But then there's compassion. Compassion you can do regardless of empathy level. Compassion you can do regardless of how something makes you feel. People can have extreme levels of empathy and choose not to try to help someone that they could. Likewise, people can have zero empathy and choose to help someone. Emotions can influence actions but it's not the only thing that matters

I am technically not no empathy, but I'm so low and so bad at empathy and trying to apply it that I'm virtually no empathy. Moments of true empathy are mostly flukes for me. But I'm a very compassionate person! An example is when someone vents or is sad in a discord server that's really not about that/doesn't have a vent channel for a reason. Do you know how that makes me FEEL? Irritated. Irked. If it's a small line or two, fine, it slips out, especially when your reality sucks. Entire unprompted rants? Trauma dumping in the middle of other people's normal conversations? That pisses me off. But you know what I'll often do? I'll say a few words. Generally my policy is that I'm not going to devote a ton of my own energy at my own detriment for a stranger (had an issue with that online as a teen), but if it doesn't hurt me physically or emotionally to give a few kind words to someone hurting, then I see no reason not to do it. It doesn't take much time from me and it makes someone clearly struggling feel a little bit better. There's zero empathy or any kind of "I feel so bad for you" emotions there, and yet, because I generally believe in trying to make things better if you can, I comfort them. I acknowledge that someone is hurting and play my part to remedy the situation

This is why people need to decouple actions from emotions. You don't have to feel ANYTHING to do the right thing. Something isn't "less good" because their heart wasn't in it. If someone drops their wallet and you return it to them solely out of social obligation, guess what? A wallet has still been returned. Someone's money, debit/credit cards, and entire identity, was not lost. Someone was just saved a ton of grief by a simple act carried out by a person who doesn't give a fuck. The results of your actions is, for most every day circumstances, more important than how you actually feel doing them

[meateater-rabbit]

(dont read the tags actually)

[gifti3]

[immortalsins]

i lovee groups and communication

[spacespore]

im so over it with high school and especially with math class !!!!!

[angelfoodscake]

me just chilling and then i remember the time my mum threw out all my sketchbooks

[folaireamh]

broooo i got up because i thought i wanted to doodle a funny comic but i hate my art and i'm tired i'm going back to sleep

[lilgynt]

there’s no polite way to tell my mom i need her to stop giving me errands or leave me alone for five seconds and yes i am having a break down over it