#Quote Chimps

[thatsbelievable]

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

Chimp: So yeah, I really like you

Newsie: um. neat!

Later:

Newsie: and I said neat! who the hell even says neat anymore?

Cherri: hey, it couldve been worse. do you remember what happened when poison said they liked me?

Newsie: you thanked them

Cherri, looking into the distance: I thanked them.

[anotherincorrectquotesblog]

A: B, we’re gonna need 20-30 chimps to test this on. C: Bring D back out!

[whats-in-a-sentence]

The first is biology,* which tells us what humans truly are: clever chimps.

*Academic biology is a vast field; I draw on its ecological/evolutionary end rather than its molecular/cellular end.

"Why the West Rules – For Now: The patterns of history and what they reveal about the future" - Ian Morris

[405blazeitt]

the one reply on that herzog post being "is he... an idiot?" really enhances it imo

[succliberation]

Antis: if you think about bad ships, then that's going to make you a bad person who really wants to do these things in real life!

Also antis, when they find out you ship the same unproblematic ship that they do: I wish murder was lega! You're only shipping this to bully me! How dare you like the same characters as me! Stop making content for my ship!

[spaceistheplaceart]

A Human's Touch - HL2VRAI AMV

constantly thinking about the relationship between the game, the NPCs/science team, and Gordon/The Player

ID AND CREDIT BELOW:

BEGIN ID

An animatic set to the song "A Human's Touch" by TWRP. The visuals are timed with lyrics, so I'll type the lyrics in quotes "like this", then explain the visuals, then move onto the next lyrics. I hope this format works well for all, and if it does not- feel free to reach out!

"Am I a toy to you, my love?"

Benrey stares up through Gordon's computer, standing on a black and white grid. He is in a beanie and jumpsuit, like many citizens from Half Life 2. He has a small mustache and a shadow over his eyes. He has a neutral expression. With each word of the lyrics, the camera zooms further out to reveal he is in a computer inside Gordon/The Player's room. The room has a PC tower, a chair, a desk, a microphone, a shelf with a VR headset and games on it, and a few posters. One poster is of "Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days" and another is of two chimps grooming eachother. With the following musical beats, the room changes slightly to show passage of time. The chair moves around, things appear and disappear on the desk, and the chimp poster is torn down for another poster that says "Gamer's don't die, they respawn." On the final beat, the player is sat at the desk.

"Just a thing to play and then throw away."

A computer screen with four applications shown on it: steam, discord, garry's mod, and Half Life. A mouse cursor floats over Half Life before retreating. The screen is shut off and turns black.

"I never asked for this."

Benrey and Coomer sitting against a black background. Benrey is turned away, hunched a little. The lyrics appear on his side of the screen.

"I always did my best."

Coomer is turned to the side, looking up with his hands grasped together and eyebrows worried. The lyrics appear on his side now.

"Without your love I am..."

The Chuck E Cheese shown at the end of the series, drawn in black and white. The screen glitches.

"A broken mess."

The Chuck E Cheese is now worn down and broken. There's a banner hanging out of it that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO before it's ripped off. Minions are laying in one of the corner buildings. On the righthand side you can see partially graffiti that says BUBBY IS BEST. In the background is the citadel from Half Life 2.

"Now I'm never enough."

Tommy and Bubby sit against a black background. Tommy is facing the side, with a worried expression, wearing a suit, his propeller hat, a bowtie, and holding a briefcase on his lap. The lyrics appear on his side.

"And it's almost too much."

Bubby is turned away. His fist is clenched and producing fire. He wears a tattered labcoat. The lyrics appear on his side now.

"For me to work..."

Gordon, against a white background, limp with lines attached to his hands like a puppet. His face is not visible.

"I need..."

A side by side of the player lifting their VR controllers and Gordon's hands lifting limply in game in sync.

"A humans touch."

Gordon's hands drop to his sides again as his head lolls to the side, rolls back, then he opens his eyes- a VR headset flashing over them at "touch".

END ID

I took the screen turning off effect from this video

[sleepanonymous]

Information about this song under the cut.

I could have sworn I posted this before? But I guess not? I must have made fun of the Chimp Spanner mention somewhere else 🤷‍♀️ Ves is a music nerd and I love him.

Anyway! For more context:

This was the digital art that baby Ves used for the video upload. A little bit of digging shows it may have been titled The Deep Abyss.

For those who don't know, Chimp Spanner is, and I quote from his Instagram, a "Producer, multi-instrumentalist and coffee fiend" 😏 Sound similar to someone we know? Anyway, I'm not familiar enough with his music to pinpoint which song baby Ves ripped off for the intro of this song, but if you know let me know 🖤

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

(Wall of text warning, sorry! I have so many Damon posts saved for when the time came, now I don't know how to disperse them!) This is meant to be more of a five-mile view of Damon's "prettiness," band history more than personal opinion for the most part, but of course that'll never be entirely removed from it.

We're not wrong to laugh at his "it's difficult to be taken seriously when you're a prettyboy" quote, but he really wasn't the only person who thought it at the time; Damon was so pretty that it was regarded as an issue, and it redefined the way the band was marketed, the style of music they were pushed toward, and the way they were treated. Interviews were at times awkward as blushing hosts blurted out how he made them nervous, or took a gossipy tone about his looks and personal life over the music. On occasion they were introduced in pretty crass ways-- one that springs to mind is "the crotch-moistening Blur"-- even when expressing fairly little sexuality in the actual music. Whenever the stage was in reach of the audience, Damon was an object of devastating desire, cried for and groped and clung to no matter how serious the song, no matter how strung out or dead behind the eyes he looked. (I'm not criticizing fans for being eager or having certain expectations based on evolving performance styles through their career, and I think there's a complicated history of bands including Blur doing some distancing from fans themselves, but you do notice how... out of sync the energy can feel at times.)

Damon once spoke of getting rid of all the mirrors in his home (I believe around the same time he first shaved his head, but I don't have the quote/year on me at the moment) and stated that it gave him a sense of clarity to be free from seeing his reflection, and instead he would simply "know who I am." I'm sure his full feelings and motivations are complicated, but he seemed to rebel against his own looks just as often as (and in the end, more than) he took advantage of them.

This excerpt really sums it up, and features an especially great quote from Dave at the end. Sure, many people are pretty, but are they pretty enough that their bandmates advocated for mutilating them?

"The prettiness thing has been a problem. Damon Albarn is one of those people who is supernaturally handsome. He has the upturned nose of an aristocratic 16-year-old girl and big lips, which he licks a lot with a big, fleshy tongue. And, of course, there’s the eyes: fields of bluebells on a summer’s day. But people have a natural distrust of the unbearably pretty. So, in an effort to override the looks issue and get taken seriously, Damon took the objectionable route. In the early days he’d throw up on stage; he’d clamber like a deranged chimp over towering speakers and amps before hurling himself kamikaze-style into audiences; he’d come out with outrageous statements.

As Dave Rowntree, Blur’s drummer, once contemplated, “We should’ve taken a Stanley knife to him in the beginning and things would’ve been oh-so-different.”" - Minx Magazine, 1999

...And no, the irony of discussing this during an attractiveness tournament is not lost on me! Despite the context a younger audience sees him through I don't think of Damon as truly "Instagram pretty," but rather, that perceived shallowness we saw in his sun-kissed face and ski-slope nose became something of a mask on top of a mask on top of a mask, and neither the audience not the subject could settle on the reality because he could never stay comfortable. He wanted to be a pop philosopher, then he wanted to be an unbridled manic youth, then he wanted to be the untarnished English everyman, then he wanted to be the poet of the mundane, and all the while he so fully believed himself to be an artist in the skin of a celebrity; he wanted to be the songwriter to give voice to cruel and universal beauty and not just be the face of it... but he was, really. Maybe he was all of it, maybe none, it just depends on how you see it. His looks, and specifically the type of "obvious beauty" he had, are part of what makes him an interesting (if not necessarily always likable-- and hot take, I don't need him to be) figure I think, because Damon was not the male-fantasy protagonist who "didn't know she was beautiful." He was so aware of it that it made him neurotic and defensive and bizarre, and none of that seemed to change everyone around him having a fixation on it as well. 30 years since their debut, the conversation around Damon still fixates on it.

...Note that this doesn't mean I won't still be sending in prettyboy propaganda. Hey, he was one whether he appreciated it or not.

Very different world it would've been if Dave wasn't joking!

[quotesfrommyreading]

One study concluded that humans have five times the information-processing capacity of cetaceans, whom they placed beneath chimps, monkeys, and some birds. But in the same study, horses—with smaller brains than chimps—were found to have five times the number of cortical neurons. Does this mean horses are smarter than chimps? A major confounding factor in these types of comparisons appears to be that every factor is itself quite confounding. Estimating numbers of neurons is a very rough science, so the raw number comparisons are crude. There are lots of different kinds of neurons, and they are arranged in different configurations and proportions in different species. We know all these variations mean something, that they will determine what brains are capable of, but we don’t know yet quite what, or how that might change from one moment to the next in different parts of the brain. There are a lot of assumptions at play, and it can be misleading to extrapolate from one brain to another.

This also applies to comparing cognitive ability. Trying to infer from brains and their structures which animals are “better” at cognition and ranking animal brains in order of “intelligence” is as treacherous as it is tempting. Stan Kuczaj, who spent his lifetime studying the cognition and behavior of different animals, put it bluntly: “We suck at being able to validly measure intelligence in humans. We’re even worse when we try to compare species.” Intelligence is a slippery concept and perhaps unmeasurable. As mentioned earlier, many biologists conceive of it as an animal’s ability to solve problems. But because different animals live in different environments with different problems, you can’t really translate scores of how well their brains perform. A brain attribute is not simply “good” or “bad” for thinking, but rather varies depending on the situation and the thinking that brain needs to undertake. Intelligence is a moving target.

What confounds this dilemma further is that individual animals within a species have varying cognitive abilities. To quote the Yosemite National Park ranger who, when asked why it was proving so hard to make a garbage can that bears couldn’t break into, said, “There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”

 —   In the Mind of a Whale

[batpoisonz]

My experience as a 2S gaybian:

Before all this, I was exclusive to "contradictory" labels all the way up until early 2023. I then labeled myself as an mspec lesbian, because as a 2S person, my gender and sexuality are impacted by my cultural experiences way beyond that of someone's binary thinking. Most white transphobes couldn't even comprehend my experiences with me being 2S.

When I was exclu; it was simply just my own ignorance. I was influenced by those around me who did not understand the labels themselves. I listened to their arguments and at the time it made sense. Until inclu people came by and explained the labels to me.

I was the only one in my friend group who sat down to have a discussion with these people. and their arguments made even more sense and disputed all the arguments my friends came up with!! It was an insane and confusing experience. When you want to be loyal to your friends but something they do is just so morally wrong, you wouldn't know what to do either!

This is where I start to understand, and when I started to become critical of both sides. I thought exclu people were "radical" as well, but being "radinclu" simply just wasn't "radical" to me just for including queer people in the QUEER community, ya know?

At the time even tho my stance was changing and developing, I still fought against mspec lesbians and gays; simply because I was scared of being an outcast, that I'd get harassed by exclu people, that people would be racist to me, etc etc. but I soon learned it was the complete opposite.

AS SOMEBODY WHO IS GAYBIAN, when I was exclu I experienced MASS AMOUNTS of racism; to the point I felt like I had to leave twitter (even after I made my account private). I had people questioning my validity as a native american simply because I was an ignorant homophobe.

Say it with me: IGNORANCE DOES NOT EXCUSE RACISM!!

I even had people calling me a chimp, a creature, I've been called a chimera, I got mass reported, I got called multiple racial slurs, of which not all I could even reclaim, I got called a hermaphrodite, way way more happened. my cc got filled with racism and homophobia too!! all because I was ignorant on the subject.

Not once did I call an inclu person (while I was exclu) any of these horrible things or harass them; I just blocked them and moved on with my day.

I will admit I was a bigot for sure but I would NEVER wish any of these things on anyone.

It doesn't stop there though. when I came out as gaybian, I lost almost ALL of my online friends. I also was closeted irl because I had people at my college getting VERY hostile whenever somebody mentioned you can be a bi lesbian.

Those same people were okay with the idea of being a biplatonic lesbian.

basically, my point here is that even as you evolve and grow as a person, become more accepting of not only others but also yourself; the queer community is extremely divided. Even IF everyone agreed that "contradictory" labels weren't an issue, it still wouldn't stop the heartless attacks we all get as queers on the daily. exclus said the SAME THING about neopronouns and xenogenders 7 years ago that they're saying about mspec lesbians and gays today. AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.

The US is climbing towards eradicating all of us as queers; starting with trans people, and they're slowly inching on towards homosexuality. People WITHIN the queer community are more concerned about how we label ourselves, when we all have our own unique oppression as queers, AND SHARED OPPRESSION AS WELL!!

I've legit heard people saying the hate crimes I've experienced as a gaybian don't actually exist and that I'm overreacting because my identity isn't real.

You know who gets the same thing told to THEM?

Most queers will hear that same quote; ESPECIALLY nonbinary people and trans people in general.

everyone who is queer, is queer. whether you "agree" with the labels or not. we are QUEER for a reason.

[lrgcarter]

So, lots to say about the Cass review, all of which is being said by people more qualified than me.

However, there was one thing I wanted to raise. It's the least of the review's problems in the grand scheme of things, but it has sparked a new Bigot Behaviour you might want to content screen for.

The Cass review says that while some gender is learnt socially, some of it is genetic. Apparently this includes the sort of toys kids play with.

I have seen this lead to multiple bigots linking to a news piece about some chimps who were given toys to play with. Apparently the male chimps enjoyed playing with trucks and the female chimps enjoyed playing with soft toys/dolls.

My disability means I haven't yet had a chance to follow the news piece links to the actual source. But even the news piece quotes the toy givers as saying something akin to 'This doesn't show male chimps are instinctively drawn to trucks. Maybe they preferred the colours or moving parts. Maybe the female chimps just really liked the colour or textures of the soft toys' [paraphrased].

The bigots, however, have pointed past this and said "See! Boys like masculine trucks and girls like feminine dolls!! Cause of their male slash female genes!!!It's just science!!!!"

Now, I know you can all see this is absolute crap. Evolutionary psychology always is.

But I want to highlight three points that I need to get out of my brain before it explodes.

1) I'm a big believer in the principle that palaeoarchaeologists don't have "The Earliest" anything. Earliest fossil showing X feature? Earliest tool of a particular type? No, whichever one we have found, there will be some earlier one that didn't survive or we haven't found yet. Time-Resolution is just hazy like that.

At the same time.

I'm going out on a limb to contradict this principle by saying …

The most recent common ancestor of humans and chimps did not have trucks. I really don't believe we'll be finding evidence that trucks had been invented at that point of time.

Therefore, chimps and humans can't share a "Boys play with trucks" gene from this common ancestor. Even if it existed (which it doesn't) it would at best be a case of convergent evolution.

2) Even if there is gendered play in chimp kids (which is perfectly possible but I suspect is more complicated than "boys like trucks")

Even if there is gendered play in chimp kids, that doesn't mean it's proof of genetic as opposed to socially taught behaviour, because,

get this …

Chimps also learn through social taught behaviour! Loads of animals do!! Different ape species are known to have different social rules!!! So it still doesn't prove there's a "Boys like trucks" gene.

and 3)

3)

And I can't stress this enough …

Humans are not chimps!!!!!

Like, fuck me, a really key point of evolution is that biological features change over time. That's a really basic part of it. So, even if our common ancestor with chimps did have this "boys like trucks" gene, there is no reason to assume we've still got it.

Like, seriously, we're in Jordan Peterson Lobsters Are The Platonic Society territory here.

With these three points, I've given this Bigot Behaviour waaaay more credit than it deserves. As I say, I just needed this out of my brain.

I realise I've only scratched the surface here. And I admit I might be misrepresenting the original research, having only read a piece of press coverage. I'm hoping to do a bit more research into this once I'm in a healthier state.

I also realise that my own phrasing above is sloppy and facetious. I'm venting, not polishing a scholarly essay. Once I've read up on the actual research, I will have more cogent things to say.

But,

At the same time, I realise I'm already falling into the trap of spending too much time arguing something that the bigots said in seconds and that they don't actually care about.

But some people might genuinely be swayed by the idea of monkey science and what it says about us as humans.

Please don't fall for it. It's just not how anything works.

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

Newsie: I'm cold :(

Chimp: here, take my jacket

Cherri: I'm cold too

Poison: well I can't control the fucking weather, can I?

[fabulous-joys]

🌎 OPERATION HOT CHIMP V2

V1 was rolled out with some criticizng remarks. Some unfortunate stuff has been said to/about myself, but Im willing to overlook it in the spirit of mcr. With that said, I have redesigned the rules and i think there fair. I took you peoples thoughts into considertion even thoug most of you were rude, but lets set that aside to focus on July 26, the.........

WORLD WIDE DANGER DAYS BLAST 💥🤯🤯

On July 26 we're going to post fics, hcs, art, cosplays, vids etc to show ppl that were back with a force 💣👏 Ive set some ground rules for OPERATION HOT CHIMP and all DD content going forward. Lets face it, DD is in shambles but this will place us at the top of the fandom:

🦍 You CAN say you wanna fuck the witch, but idk why you WOULD.

🦍 OC names should be no more than 3 words. Any more than that and your just playin yourself

🦍 OC names should be more original in general, for example mine is Ricky Bobby, its funny, reference to my fav will ferell movie etc.

🦍 No more sayin that Kobra Kid is 🇬🇧british. Im not budgin on that one bcuz it makes no sense. WHy would brits be in california. All flights are grounded, no cruise ships etc. What do you people thnk the end of the world is, its not "la dee da" land

🦍 If you write/draw stuff about the four you HAVE to include the girl. Some of you agree (thank you) so Im keepin this one.

🦍 No makin fun of me, OR ANYONE ELSE for any reason

Ok so I think this is pretty fair to everyone. Call it CODENAME GORILLA when your around non-DD ppl (normies). We're going to blow their minds with the biggest blast the MCRmy has ever seen🤯🤯 July 26, write it down 📝

No this is not a joke....someone needs to straighten things up around here....might as well be me🤌

As Ricky Bobby said shake....and BAKE🤛

ricky bobby i love you but i don't know if you can genuinely reshape an entire fandom, especially since some people do go against some of these rules you've set up (the oc names limitations, no british kobra) without causing huge issues. you have some good points (including the girl more, not making fun of people) but individual people are probably just going to... keep being themselves. and as long as they're not hurting anyone, i don't think that's a problem

that said, i'm sorry people have been rude to you, as i think you have good intentions. i'll be just as happy as the next guy if everyone posts fics/art/cosplay/whatever on the 26th; i mostly just do incorrect quotes and headcanons on this blog, but maybe i can write something longer to participate :)

[elftwink]

fucking hate that post that claims the origin of "sorry im late i was doing stuff" "im stuff" is a marvel spiderman homecoming meme because i KNOW the "im stuff" exchange has been circulating as a joke (a la incorrect quotes blogs except it predates that joke format) since at least 2014. but bc i don't know the actual origin i can never correct it but it pisses me off so severely bc if you even think abt it for ten seconds it's obvious the source for this joke cannot possibly have been a meme from a movie that came out in 2017. literally the hotel transylvania meme in that same post is 10x more likely to be the origin than HOMECOMING. genuinely see red every time im subjected to that post i feel like a wild chimp gnawing at the bars of a cage PLEASE THATS NOT TRUE!!! I KNOW IT!!! AAUUGHH

[tall-mccartney]

Actual Dan x Jonah quotes:

Dan: I will break your legs so severely, you’ll end up normal height

Jonah: you fucked me with your face

Dan: you’re obsolete, you’re like an old VCR but with a bigger mouth

Jonah: you should go fist a chimp

Dan: you should be fitted with a leper bell, you sinking shit

Jonah: use this finger🖕 to wipe your tears

Dan: you fucking ape, you’re a useless waste of carbon

Jonah: I’m the one that broke you

Dan: you’re so low-rent, you can’t even be exploited

Jonah: you upstate New York dick-shit, you’re not that great to be around

Dan: go fuck yourself, Jack and the giant freak-stalk

Jonah: I’ll be better when you walk away

Dan: listen to me instead of your only two brain cells busy butt-fucking each other in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull

Jonah: Dan Egan is a solid five and a half, weak six

Dan: jesus christ Jonah, how do you not know this shit?

Jonah: I’m sure that showing your anus gets you into all of your regular social clubs

Dan: I hope you die a horrible death choking on a red glistening dog dick