#Queue the ‘he screams for he does not know’ meme

[voxiiferous]

**| Things no one ever told me I’d be doing as a writer: combing through the Google map of New York and comparing it to what it was like during the 1940s and 50s to try and figure out where Vox could have lived and thus what would have been around.

[faustocosgrove]

hi~ it’s ya boi, Fausto.

um. so i was going to say i’m back on tumblr but my queue was spitting out posts the whole time so yeah. anyway. long excuse under teh cut. also trigger warning for me talking about my eating disorder (heavily self censored but mentioned none the less).

tl;dr version: Fausto is having a series of bad days. death to israel.

do y’all remember when i told the story of this customer who yelled at me but she started the conversation with the “I am a sweet, confused old lady” voice and then hall of the mountain king style slid into screaming at me? and how i had a mental breakdown over it? well similar thing happened. this lady shows up and she keep giving me the “i am a toddler about to cry because you’re not giving me what i want” face and like barely using her words to tell me what the fuck she wants to buy. and um, i’ve never had an adult give me the “i am a toddler about to cry” face before. in any situation ever. so that threw me off my game. anyway, i don’t really remember what happened next exactly but she managed to drop half of her stuff because she couldn’t convince her husband to either unlock the car or give her the one dollar she was short for the bill in time. and this guy didn’t seem angry coming up to me with the dollar until he gave me the dollar, then he screamed at me. and so like, there was no indication of aggression until our hands were just about touching and he was a big fuckin guy! so that freaked me the fuck out and i just kind of took two steps back and dropped my jaw on the floor in terror. then he said something rude. and they left. and i spent days replaying this in my head.

and then october 7th happened, and i very specifically logged on to tumblr with teh intention of reblogging a post about how stupid and wrong the official american narrative is about israel and a list of things israel has done since it’s inception that are way worse than anything Hamas does to fight back. instead i was greeted with this bizarre neutral post about palestine and it’s occupied territory and then i saw it again and i had this moment of thinking “oh my god, all the anti-zionism i’ve seen from political bloggers was performative” so i logged off tumblr.

and then a few days later i thought to myself “i’ll just avoid unfollowing political blogs for now and stuff my queue with stupid memes from tags and the trending page!” and i found a post on a particular topic and i’ve been spending the last ~2 weeks fighting my eating disorder. plus for some reason people in real life keep saying various kinds of shit that’s been making the eating disorder thing worse.

and to make things worse now that i’ve finally worked up the gumption to unfollow the blogs that put the weirdly zionism tolerant post on my dash tumblr kept crashing and when it stopped crashing the one person i thought i remembered reblogging the post it wasn’t in their archive and i tried searching for the damned post which you know goes poorly because this is tumblr. and i’m searching like, every political blogger’s archives for the post and i can’t find it. and like i keep trying to unearth from my brain what exactly the post said to actually search for it and i can’t remember so now i’m having another albeit less severe mental breakdown over having a mental breakdown over a tumblr post that probably doesn't exist.

um. so my queue is empty now i guess but um i’m not super emotionally invested in being on tumblr for the time being so if you’re wondering where i went yeah and if any other world events happen then just assume that i’ve got the same opinion as i had before.

death to israel.

[gabessquishytum]

Bless you 🐈‍⬛ anon for going there and giving us all i d e a s. I’ve never seriously sat with sounding but uhhhh queue “I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me” meme (spoilers - it definitely woke something in me)

The thing about sounding is that it is pretty much the most direct prostate stimulation you can get. I’m gonna do a small school for a second here and assign some homework for the rest of this ask (because I don’t want OP here to get the tumblr hammer for a phallic infographic) If you’re not already very very familiar with anatomy I’m going to need you to image search a “transurethral resection of the prostate” aka a TURP procedure. Done that? Okay good, moving on. Mental pop quiz in a few paragraphs

Now I want you to imagine Hob on all fours. A sound previously inserted via the Corinthian. He’s frozen. His legs are burning and shaking from holding the position. But every movement jostles the sound along his prostate. Corinthian occasionally reaches out and flicks his cock on purpose to make Hob scream out and remind him who is in charge. Is it pleasure? Is it pain? Beats Hob. All he knows is that it’s like a live wire of sensation all at once and he wants more but he dares not move on his own.

And Dream comes back to this scene. He’s smirking at the picture the two of them make. But it’s missing something - complete fullness. And well — they’ve established that Dream owns his arse soooooo it’s no business of his if the Corinthian just happens to be using his cock at the same time. So Dream does what he does best - he fills Hob up.

Remember that image? Okay now I want you to picture each of Dream’s thrusts. Every time he is fully at the hilt his cock is pressing in on Hob’s prostate. But the sound is already there and dream can feel it massage him as he slides in and out. There is no room inside of Hob. Every thrust also moves the sound and his previous work to stay still has been thrown out with the bathwater.

And poor Hob is incoherent. This is beyond overstimulation. Hob is full in a way he never even knew he could be. He’s completely frozen clinging to Corinthian’s shoulders. The nightmare claiming his lips (biting and drawing an ever so slight amount of blood he can smear along Hob’s cheeks) and clutching his very full cock and Dream clawing marks into his hips and thrusting into his hole. If he didn’t know he couldn’t die he would swear that these two would kill him right here and now.

So uhh yeah. huh. Guess I’m into sounding now. Who knew

-🫀

🫀 anon you are an actual gift from the gods. Somehow you have educated me and made me horny simultaneously. You've also awakened my latent love for sounding. And the words phallic infographic for some reason made my day.

Anyway, back to the porn. We're taking it as written that Hob loves being full of Dream. And this? This just makes it 1000x better. He’s crying and whining and drooling all over the Corinthian and he's totally reevaluating his idea of what heaven is. The Corinthian is whispering to him all about what a bad little slut he is, and Dream is fucking into him like it's going out of style, and his cock is possibly on fire, who knows, but its good. He's never done this before, and he gets to experience it for the first time with his favourite dommy bastards, and for some reason that makes him so happy inside. He probably passes out a couple of times and Dream just... keeps going. Maybe it keeps going so long he falls asleep and they both carry on fucking him up in the dreaming.

Maybe the Corinthian lets him cum, eventually. Then again, maybe he doesn't. The choice is yours 😏 it doesn't matter to Dream, bc he gets to use his favourite little cumdump either way <3

[kurtanaroyalty]

Hi<3 I wanted to ask you if new directions were on tumblr, how do you think you would interact with them? And what do you think their blogs would be about?

Oooh I love this question!! Tysm for the ask🥰💗

Santana: Mutuals. It was basically confirmed in canon that this girl had a tumblr with her comment about her having a favorite ‘Rizzoli & Isles’ blog.. if that doesn’t scream a tumblr lesbian idk what does lol!! Her entire blog would mainly be devoted to sapphic ships that she would sob about in the tags (think overuse of emojis and keyboard smashes)! She would have a pretty decent following and get quite a few asks where she would give headcanons and meta on her favorite ships. She also wouldn’t tell a soul that she’s on there but Brittany would find out and lovingly tease her about it.

Tina: I follow her but she doesn’t follow me. She would be on tumblr constantly! She would have one of those super popular multifandom blogs that makes the most crisp gifs and has hundreds of requests waiting in her inbox. At first you’d be a bit intimidated by her until you realize she is the sweetest and is always super nice about giving tips and resources for gif making!

Sam: I don’t follow him but he follows me. His tumblr would consist of almost 100% memes with no organization/tagging system. Instead of tags, he would leave comments under posts like “woah this is sick dude 🤩” or “nice!!! 👍” which would in turn make a good amount of people block him because they would think he’s some bot or sarcastic troll when in reality they are always genuine comments. He would be the king of spam reblogging to the point that if you did follow him he would overwhelm your dash. Though, every once and awhile there would be a very detailed & coherent post by him about ‘True Jackson, VP’ with links to a petition to get it renewed/rebooted.

Blaine: Mutuals. You just know he would make the best tumblr mutual! He would definitely be that one mutual that you can always count on to like and reblog your content and he would leave the most thoughtful tags. His blog would be a variety of all his interests (he originally tried to have separate side blogs but it was too much for him to keep up with!) but it’s extremely well organized and mainly runs on a queue.

Kurt: I follow him but he doesn’t follow me. His tumblr would be very curated and definitely fit a certain aesthetic. I picture it mostly consisting of reblogs of fashion, films, art, food, etc. But multiple times a week he would post blank text posts with super long rants in the tags with a lot of cussing and the last tag would be #delete later.

Brittany: Mutuals. Everything she posts would be super cheerful & colorful (envision loads of rainbows & cats). She is known for sending asks since she absolutely loves sending her mutuals the most offbeat questions. You can also always rely on her if you’re having a bad day to send you a random quote or fact that will make you smile.

Mike: Mutuals. He would truly have the most chill blog and reblog anything that catches his eye but not in a way where it overloads your dash. He also is someone who follows back almost everyone who follows him and sends a lot of kind asks & leaves nice tags on your original content. He would never get involved in any fandom drama and would only have one filtered tag which is ‘Channing Tatum’.

Puck: Mutuals (mostly for entertainment purposes on my end). He’d be the one to act like he’s never even heard of tumblr but secretly runs his own fic blog mainly for the soap opera he compulsively watches with his mom & sister. He also occasionally enjoys posting snippets of the various screenplays he’s working on. He prides himself on staying anonymous so he uses a pen name and changes the names of everyone he writes about but does an awful job at picking out new names (changes Puck to Huck, Finn to Binn, etc)!

Finn: Neither one of us follows one another. Actually didn’t know what tumblr was until he saw the app on Puck’s phone and noticed him spending a lot of time on it so he got curious. Months later he still has no clue on what the point of tumblr is and has pretty much given up on trying to properly use it. He has a few text posts screaming into the void but they have no engagement. Though he did somehow link his instagram so that still updates.

Mercedes: Mutuals. Her tumblr consists mainly of reblogs for her favorite celebrities, tv shows, & movies. She also has gotten into the habit of live blogging for a few of her top shows and her commentary is so good that you wouldn’t dare to unfollow her or filter her tags for it, even for the shows you didn’t have any interest in previously. She’s the mutual that has such great taste that you find her continuing to influence what media you want to consume next!

Quinn: Mutuals. Her blog is a mix of literature, art, philosophy etc which does make it have an overall pretty “classy” feel but the vast majority of it is also just very, very, very, gay.. to the point where half of what she reblogs is of women kissing/being affectionate with one another. She also eventually dabbles in writing some femslash & it’s very good stuff…

Artie: Neither one of us follows one another. Has a decent following due to his film reviews (he also blocks anyone who disagrees with any of his opinions). He’s also heavily involved in various popular fandoms like Star Wars and Marvel which leads to him getting into some very intense discourse which results in more blocking.

Rachel: Mutuals (on thin ice). Posts super nice aesthetics & moodboards. Though unfortunately, she would be that tumblr mutual who gets into heated debates with anons constantly and is such an easy target because she can’t recognize when people are trolling her so she takes the bait every time. But, fairly often it does get to the point where she actually ends up exhausting the anons with her long written responses.

[paradigmsofbrittaperry]

I just looked at your Spotify, first for the Jeffbritta then for your immaculate music taste ........ but sweetheart. GODDESS. What the hell mental illness made you listen to the Russian National Anthem that many times

FSHDKDLD god okay this one’s A Story, and there’s a much more concise way to tell it, but I’ve never been a concise person. jump under the read more if you dare.

sooooo it all started in a Wal-Mart parking lot after going to a high school football game with some of my friends. we had gone in to get a box of cupcakes and somehow emerged with a jar of pickles, a bag of peanut M&M’s, and a bag of Twix bars. as we were walking out of the Wal-Mart with our spoils, a bunch of guys our age ran by us and pushed us out of the way, screaming and running all the way to the edge of the parking lot. they were followed by Wal-Mart security, and we figured out the next day that they were members of our school’s lacrosse team and they were running because they had stolen goods from this Wal-Mart. so my friends and I start walking away from the exit like “oh boy, that was wild” only to be stopped by a woman who asked us if we wanted one of heaven’s brownies. we did not, so we swiftly moved along, clutching our pickles and candy a little bit tighter. 

there were six of us, so we’d taken two cars (and really, we’d come in groups of three anyway and met up on accident), but decided to go back to one person’s car to eat before splitting up and going our separate ways. so four of us found a way to squeeze into the backseat of this not-very-large vehicle and cracked open the pickles. the driver was in control of the music, and at first, he put on a few songs from Hamilton because I guess he was just that late to the trend. I was minding my own business, eating a Twix bar and vibing while being crushed between two of my friends when suddenly, everything changed.

there was a swell of orchestral music. we all looked at the driver in complete and utter confusion as the singers came in, singing in a language we did not know. he looks away, and the rest of us begin to laugh, as we’re very lucid at this point because it’s almost 11:30pm and this wasn’t our first adventure of the night (the first involved sneaking past the other school’s administration to get to the home side bleachers by cutting across the football field itself, we’re such rebels ik). 

eventually, someone (probably me tbh) manages to ask;

“what is this?”

the driver keeps looking down, avoiding everyone’s gaze.

“it’s the Russian National Anthem.”

“the WHAT?”

“the Russian National Anthem.”

he went on to explain that his older brother has a playlist of meme songs that he shared with everyone, and for some entirely unknown reason, this was on the list, and he’d taken a liking to it. whatever, we thought. in all honesty? it kinda slaps. maybe a little more than Hamilton does.

fast forward to about a week later. one of my friends from that group has been my friend since childhood, and lives about five minutes away from me. as such, she would often drive me home after band practice if it was a day when my dad wasn’t helping out with practice.

she usually gave me the aux, trusting me to queue a few things on Spotify for our 20 minute drive. at that point, it was typically lots of Hayley Kiyoko, lots of P!atd, and a fair amount of girl in red, because we were both gay and didn’t develop a music taste until very recently. there was also a specific Sam Smith song that we always listened to (How Do You Sleep) because of a specific incident from that year of band that honestly, I may go into at a later date.

that night, I look at the Spotify search bar and think “wouldn’t it be funny if I threw the Russian National Anthem in there? just to mess with her and call back to the night of that football game? man, that was a fun night. let’s do it.”

so I queue said anthem to come on after How Do You Sleep.

we poorly sing along with Sam Smith, laughing and joking all the way. the song starts to fade out, we settle down. we’re both waiting for the next song to come on. I’m barely holding it together, trying so hard not to blow my cover and laugh that tears are streaming down my face. 

the drum roll. the sweeping instrumentals.

now, I feel like I’ve already provided a gratuitous amount of context, but you must know that this particular band season had been absolute shit. our beloved band director had gotten a job at another school, and we had been left behind to lead a band under the direction of a much more incompetent one. we were stressed all the time, younger kids were turning their backs on us in a desperate attempt to defend this guy since they had to live with him for longer, we’d been losing friends and struggling and breaking down on a daily basis for probably somewhere around two months at that point. every inside joke and moment of levity and scrap of joy was clung to like a life raft, because we were watching the thing we’d loved for three whole years be destroyed right before our eyes. on top of that, we were being blamed for the destruction despite only being 17 years old, only able to cause so much change.

the singers come in. my friend realizes what I’ve done. she starts laughing. I let myself laugh out loud now, head banging and bopping along with the song. tears are streaming down her face now, too, they keep streaming down mine. we can’t find the line between tears of sorrow and tears of overwhelming joy. is there one? or are both emotions one in the same? 

so then, like with How Do You Sleep, it became a tradition to play it on every car ride home from band practice. I’d slip it somewhere into the queue while driving or she’d set it before getting into the car so that she could surprise me. it became our thing, that no matter what had happened that day or who had yelled at us or what ridiculous responsibilities we’d had to take on, we had something to look forward to and rely on. we had the motherfucking Russian National Anthem. 

I bet you didn’t expect there to be a moral to this story, but oh boy, is there ever one. you have find joy wherever you can. even if it’s stupid. even if it doesn’t make sense or you don’t understand why it makes you so happy. even if it’s playing a national anthem that, quite frankly, shouldn’t go as hard as it does.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

ohh, angst asks! Gotta Stay Quiet To Avoid Discovery for songxiao and/or Desperate Hand-Holding for jame/tori. (also 98% of those prompts have happened onscreen or been heavily implied to have happened in the kencyrath and i've gotta say... it good, it very good) (but kindrie is not given enough emotional support in response for him having to deal with it)

THIS IS SO UNFAIR HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN THESE actually never mind I fixed it, I wrote both, the other one will go into the queue.  Have a much-compressed AU where Jame gets to be the rescued party for a change.  For this ask meme!

Jame doesn’t let her fingers shake as she braids bells into her horse’s mane.  She rides with the Hunt every year, and every year she hates it, hates the rising blood-song of the magic, hates the horses, hates the moment where she becomes the crest of the wave and brings the Master’s strength crashing down on anyone in their path, but that is what the Mortal Knight is for.  A focus.  A spearpoint.  Her mother was the Mortal Knight before her, until the power was too much and sent Jamethiel shattering, and now--

Now Jame is not letting her fingers shake, and it’s not out of dread.  Jame doesn’t believe in dread.  She hasn’t in a long time, not since she ran from her father’s hall straight into the arms of the Hunt as a child.  Dread is only a way to prolong the suffering of a bad moment, so Jame deals with bad moments as they come and tries to ride them out as best she can, and this Hunt will be another in a series, but there’s no point dreading it.

Jame is good at not feeling dread.  But hope--that’s another thing entirely.

“Still scared of horses, little dreamer?” Keral croons, and she snarls at him.  He reaches out to brush his fingers through her hair, where it’s loose around her masked face, tiny plaits woven with ribbons of silver and scarlet hidden in the curls.

“I’ll break your hand,” Jame says.  She could, too.  The Hunt is rising, the magic is boiling up, and she is the focus, the harbinger, and tonight she could break Keral’s laughing smile into pieces and scatter them at her feet.

“Keral,” Tyrandis interrupts, melting out of the shadows.  He’s like that.  “Go and prepare.”

Keral tugs on one of Jame’s plaits and smirks at his half-brother, but he goes.  Tyrandis watches him go, and then turns back to Jame, where she’s checking her saddle.  She hesitates over the buckles.  She could loosen them, just one notch, or try to hide some damage to the straps--but no.  They might come loose at the wrong moment, and her horse be traded out.

And she told Tori that she would be on the only white horse, is the thing.  She’s not allowing herself to count on him.  She won’t.  But by God, she’s going to start and end this Hunt on a white horse, one way or another.

“Jamie,” Tyrandis says.  She snaps around to look at him, and manages a small smile.  He knows how she feels about the Hunt, but he’s smiling back at her, although his eyes are sad and his fingers linger on her cheek when he brushes her hair out of her eyes.  “I’m proud of you, Jamie.  Keep it in mind, hm?”

Jame trusts Tyrandis implicitly.  She trusts that he loves her.  She trusts that he will always do his duty to his Master.  She trusts that he is smart enough to know something is amiss, and she trusts that he knows that asking any questions would force him to betray her.

“I will, Senethari.”

“Good.  Mount up, we’re riding out.”

The crossroads is glowing with moonlight when the Hunt sweeps down on it, and Jame’s heart would be in her mouth if not for the fact that all she can hear is hunting horns, all she can taste is foreign blood, thick and iron-bright.  Her hands are tangled in her horse’s mane, without reins, and she is at the head of the Hunt, a creature made for killing, glittering in silver and scarlet and black, and everything is wonderful.  This, this is how she should always be, magic flowing through her like blood, and she does not remember why she hated this, when it is so clearly all that she was born for.

They slow at the crossroads, the Hunt piling up behind Jame like a wave, calling out to each other like a pack of hounds belling in the dark, and she tips her head back to the moon and tries to remember why she has stopped.

The moonlight falls on her like wine and honey, sinking into her skin, and Jame opens her mouth, takes a breath to say onward, and--

The figure in black is slight-boned and as quick as a whip, and his hands are like iron when they close into her hunting coat and wrench her to the ground.

Jame hits the packed dirt hard, and the magic of the Hunt cracks like glass with the impact, leaving her shaking and weak and gasping.  The man--Tori, it’s Tori, he came for her, after all this fucking time he actually came for her--is above her, pinning her down, and he’s haloed in moonlight that glows on his silver-shot hair when he says, “Jame?”

“Yes,” Jame wheezes, breathless.  “Hold--hold me tight, brother.”

“I have you,” Tori says.  She thinks he says it, anyway.  She hopes so.  She told him not to be afraid, among the roses.

She hears the Master’s voice, distant and terrible, speak a word from amidst the Hunt.

The magic crashes back down onto her, the sky falling in shards and ripping into her fragile mortal skin, and she’s screaming, trying to fight her way out of her bones, out of Tori’s arms.  She claws at his hands, snaps at him with a wolf’s teeth, and he doesn’t let go.  Tori buries his face in her thick-furred ruff, where she can’t get purchase on him, and clings to her until Jame is panting and still underneath him, and then--

The magic surges, and another scream fights its way out of her throat, a hunting cat’s screech, and she twists like water until she can sink a paw full of lethal claws into Tori’s shoulder, through his coat and shirt and skin and muscle until she scrapes bone.  He doesn’t let go.  He fists his hands in her sleek short fur and presses himself close without regard for his blood coursing over her paw, and then--

A third rush of power and pain, and armor is growing from Jame’s skin, ivory-white and stronger than steel, barbed at her joints so that it tears into Tori’s coat as she fights to her feet, a half-grown rathorn colt screaming in the bone-shaking register of her kind.  Tori tightens both hands in her mane and twists, and brings her down.  She bites him--she can taste blood on her fangs, his blood, real and rich--and he doesn’t let go.  He doesn’t let go.  He doesn’t let go.

The magic falls away like bursting out of ice-cold water, and Jame is left shivering on the ground, her brother’s blood and the dirt of the road on her skin, and Tori’s face is still pressed into her shoulder, his arms tight around her ribs and his chest pressed to hers.  

“Were you afraid?” Jame rasps, hugging him close and meeting Tyrandis’ eyes over his shoulder.  Tyrandis nods to her.

“Yes,” Tori says, raising his head to look at her.  He’s bruised, but his silver eyes are fierce, and when he unwinds his arms, he doesn’t pull away.  Instead, he pulls his torn coat off and drapes it over Jame’s naked shoulders, and puts his hand into hers, and doesn’t let go.  He pulls her to her feet without regard for the wound in his shoulder, the blood on his arm, and says, “Let’s go home.”

[patriciahaefeli]

A Cautionary Tale? A Love Story? You Decide

It's been one of those rollercoaster weeks, one that began with a great deal of pain, which I tried to ignore at first, so as not to ruin my 17- year old’s already Corona-compromised birthday party. At some point during our 5 p.m. family Zoom celebration, I quietly left the room and went upstairs to lie down, writhe in pain, get back up, bend over, moan, repeat. This continued through the night Monday – and at one point, I remember thinking that labor wasn’t this bad and that I should probably go to the emergency room. In this new world we’re in, that thought was quickly dismissed by one word: COVID. I paced the floor at 3 a.m., alternately moaning and then bopping my head and sort of softly singing what kept running through my head, which was the chorus of The Knack’s 1979 hit song, “My Sharona.” Only my version went “My Corona.” Yes, even while suffering, I’m clever that way. 

By Tuesday morning the pain had subsided. I was exhausted however, and slept throughout the day. “Tricia! Drink this! Jesus, she’s burning up.” It was the alarm in my husband’s voice that I responded to more than the command. I sat up, drank the water he was holding out to me, and when I caught my reflection in the mirror over the dresser I had the brief, feverously detached impression of someone who’d sat under a sun lamp for too long. Sun lamp, the words made me almost giggle out loud. Sun-lamp, sun-lamp, sun-lamp…Does anyone even know what that is anymore? A few hours later I had a virtual appointment with my regular GP, during which the decision was made for me to go to the office first thing Wednesday for a full exam. My instructions (my fever-addled brain again added the words “should I choose to accept them” - hehehe), for entering the building would come in the form a text. 

My office exam was efficient and thorough. Upon arrival, I called the office and someone met me at a side door. As we were both masked and gloved, we nodded and murmured muffled greetings. Two PAs and an MD palpated my tender abdomen while I stifled screams. They decided that I should have a C-T scan that day, with the expectation that the offending culprit was a kidney stone. As many radiology facilities are currently closed, it took a few hours for them to locate one that would take me. My scan took place at 4:30. I was the last patient of their day. 

 Fast forward to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday evening. I picked up the call, which was remarkable in itself because anyone who knows me knows how irritating it is that, a) my phone is always on silent mode, and, b) I rarely answer numbers I don’t recognize. It was another doctor from Vanguard, calling to let me know that my C-T scan showed no evidence of kidney stones – “Yay!” BUT, he cut in, it did show acute appendicitis. What I needed to do, he said, was to go directly to the nearest ER. 

So here’s where this story really begins, because I was about to get a reality check regarding the difference between the inconveniences of “social distancing” and quite literally, matters of life and death. For those of us who are shuffling around at home in our sweatpants, eating too much, complaining about the buffoonery of our President, laughing at all the funny memes, and who are, to one degree or another, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that health care workers do not have the luxury of ANY of that, here’s the newsflash: The Corona virus has virtually SHUT down normal operations for hospitals and surgical facilities, so if you’re also laughing in the face of social-distancing guidelines, and just can’t wrap your head around the possibility of contracting this deadly disease, know this too: If you break your arm, or your spouse has a heart attack, or your child’s strange rash won’t go away and you’re just really concerned, good luck. We are NOT in Kansas anymore, peeps. 

 I considered doing a bit of a negative a rant on the first hospital that I went to here, but perhaps that wouldn’t be fair. “The nearest ER” for me would have been another hospital, but due to their somewhat dubious reputation, we opted to go just a bit farther away. The best thing I can say about that experience was that the safety protocols to enter the ER were impressive. Picture the scene in E.T. where the Hazmat-suited guys from the space program find out about him and “invade” the house in a tunnel of white - then picture the people standing six feet apart outside of say, ShopRite, only these people don’t look so great. They’re kind of bent over, or swaying, or leaning on someone else. Then count your blessings that your gut hurts and you’re not bleeding out…or struggling to breathe. 

Three hours later, after they’d reviewed my scans and completed all of the necessary pre-op tests (blood work, EKG, urine analysis), I got the word that most of the ORs were being used as ICUs for COVID patients, and they were only doing “emergent” surgeries. They sent me home with massive doses of antibiotics, and a referral to see their staff general surgeon - outpatient. 

I figured they were right, too. Must not be very serious. I was doing well with that notion until the following morning, when I heard the barely concealed shock in the voice of my regular MD.  

“Did they see your scans?” his tone serving only to increase my anxiety. 

 “Yeah. But my appendix hasn’t exploded yet.” I said. 

 “Ah,” he sighed, “I know things are being handled differently in the ‘current environment,’ but last time I checked, acute appendicitis was emergent.” 

Okay, pay attention now, because here’s where it gets really interesting: See if you can answer his parting questions: 

 “Do you have a general surgeon? Preferably one with their own facility?” 

 So, do you? And if you do, are you sure they’re even open right now? I sure as hell didn’t (and the name they gave me at the hospital turned out to be for a doctor whose answering machine told me he was not seeing new patients). And the idea that it was now pretty much my problem to solve was a little intimidating – especially for someone who generally needs to be told that they’re sick (enough) or in (enough) pain to seek help—but that’s another story. Now that doctor, who I respect and like a lot, said he’d be trying to find me one, but that I should do my research as well. 

 My husband and I made a fairly long list of people/places to call, and split it. Those we were able to reach at all offered possible solutions to my dilemma, but each dead-ended pretty quickly. I focused on the task now, trying to ignore what it might mean that the ache in my belly seemed to be spreading down my right leg. 

As of this writing, I have yet to hear back from my regular GP and yet, here I sit, post-op, able to get this down mostly because of a Facebook message I sent to one of the nurses in the Belleville Public School district. The only real help I got came from her, a nurse, who responded immediately to an “in-boxed” message, and kept responding for the next hour, sending me the names and phone numbers of doctors (sometimes with their credentials!), links to possible facilities, and words of encouragement. She gave me her personal cell phone number and encouraged me to call it if I had questions and/or to let her know how it was going. I felt like she meant it, too. I also think she was responsible for the first in a series of serendipitous events that just may have saved my life. One of the names she gave me turned out to be the dad of one of my kid’s friends. 

 At that point, things happened pretty quickly. I called him (at home) and told him my situation. In a matter of 20 minutes, he had my scans and had booked  a time slot for me for same-day surgery at Clara Maass. He’s a high-energy, outgoing kind of guy, and although I’d stood on sidelines with him and his lovely wife at many a sports event, I don’t know him well enough, nor did I think it was appropriate to laugh out loud when he laid out the plan: “With everything going on, I just really want to do you – and get you the hell out of there!” 

So here I am, more grateful to him than I can possibly express and having some time to consider just how random and crazy and dangerous that whole situation was (turns out, my appendix had begun to perforate after all, and the real fun was just beginning) and how fortunate I am. 

 But the real heroes here - Oh, and God, aren’t we all a little sick of the “hero” thing? – well get over it, and listen up! From the minute I walked through the door of Clara Maass yesterday, my experience was the best it could possibly have been. The nurses! OMG the nurses - I was in pre-op for hours. Lucky as I was to have been squeezed in to an already crowded surgical schedule, the truth of the matter was that my presence had required a quick shifting of resources—stretchers and space and - nurses. My sudden appearance in the queue was inconvenient, possibly even annoying. And yet all of them, including the nurse who ran the OR, came by to check on me, to give me extra blankets, to chat with me, and laugh with me. A friend’s daughter-in-law, who is a nurse there, got a text from him and even she came from three floors below just to say hello and charm me with her Australian accent and tired-but-twinkling blue eyes. I swear, for me? The whole experience was a cross between a weirdly sterile spa stay, and – as mine all happened to be women - a girls’ sleepover with your best girlfriends—only these were women I'd just met (but they’d also pretty much seen me naked, so, there’s that…). 

Most of them were nearing the end of a 12-hour shift. As I lay there, relaxed and warm, reading and texting, they race-walked back and forth among those of us who waited, or were recovering. I lost count of how many times one of them asked me if I was okay, or if I needed something. They ate their dinners on the move, taking bites and then sprinting off, tearing off one set of gloves, putting on another. These people Do. Not. Sit. The sink was right near my bed, so I saw a lot of hand-washing traffic too, and a lot of red, chapped, over-sanitized hands. They spoke in soothing voices to those who were waiting, and possibly scared, and loud-enough voices for those emerging from the cloud of anesthesia to understand. Sometimes they shouted good-natured complaints to one another, or teased one another – and me, as when one started repacking those bags they give you for your clothes, amusement in her voice as she yelled, “What the hell did you do here, shove it all in like a little kid? Your purse is open – Maria, come over here and see this – she’s a mess!” Hahahaha! One came by and pointed to the cover of the book I was reading entitled “The Silent Patient”, and joked “That’s the kind we like!” 

I even began to wonder if what I was getting was “special treatment” reserved for those whose surgeries were personally called-in by the surgeon. Once he arrived, however, it was clear that not only did they not know he was the one who got me in, but they chided him in the same affectionate way. At a point, I said to one of them, “Doctors think they’re all that, but nurses really run the show don’t they?” She winked at me and elbowed me a little, “Like husbands, honey – they just think they’re in charge!” 

I lounged, for over four hours while they stood on what had to be tired feet, hands on hips as they talked to me, telling me which part of the hospital they’d spent the morning in, or where they were headed next in this crazy, all-hands-on-deck environment. We chatted about jobs and kids, and only when the topic of this deadly disease came up did the lack of words become conspicuous. Then it was all a mime of sad shakes of the head and downward glances. 

It occurs to me today that after all of this, I'm not sure I would recognize any of them tomorrow if I saw them on street – nor they me. Of course, we were all masked. But maybe I would – if I could see their eyes again. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that most of all, those eyes conveyed a profound kindness. And laughter, and concern, and compassion, and dedication—and a toughness that allows them to do it all. 

I'll tell you a secret: I am a person who often has a weird response to unexpected kindness - it makes me cry. I welled up more than once yesterday afternoon. I may have been just one of many for them – this is just what they do - but for me, a bond was made. I will always remember them. 

Make no mistake: it’s no hardship to be home in your sweatpants with your gel manicure looking a little ratchet, and your spouse and kids seeming more like houseguests who have overstayed their welcome. Today, I want you to feel really, really blessed and grateful, and if you’re like me, a generally healthy person who never really gave too much thought to the job that these people do, I hope I was able to convey just a little of it. 

That school nurse who rescued me put it this way: “I took an oath when I graduated just as physicians do. I have followed it for 28 years and it has never let me or my patients down.” That whole oath thing is good and important and all, but the heart behind it gives it grace. 

So, if you get an invitation to do one of those car processions where you beep your horn and cheer for the local health care workers as they go in to, or leave, work– get in your car and go. Or, just mail them each a check for a million dollars. Either way.

[kpopshitposter]

Can you do prompt 59 with Minho from stray kids plss 💕

“This place is creepy.”

Writing Prompt Meme

Anyone could’ve guessed that... a haunted house on Halloween? Your idea. Minho has tried literally everything to make you change your mind, or at least to count him out. Take someone else. Don’t go. The options are there! Alas, you wanted to go with him… ‘cause you knew it would be hilarious.

He’s already squeezing you by the time you’re queueing to get in. You’re smiling to yourself, looking around and taking in the excitement of this new experience. You’re so engrossed in the cool-looking decorations and the clever zombie make-up on one of the staff members that you almost don’t notice he’s singing a song to himself in an attempt to teleport elsewhere.

You laugh a little at him and wiggle your arm.

“We won’t go upstairs.” you promise. While you thought that would be soothing news for him to hear, he stares at you like you said you thought he only had one cat. 

There’s an upstairs? He says through gritted teeth. Slowly, his focus goes upwards. He finally takes in the renovated castle with a high tower. He looks like he’s about to puke. 

Minho’s ready to get the hell out of there when you grab his hand and hold him tightly. You’ll protect him! 

Soon you’re at the front of the line and bouncing with joy. This is going to be so much fun, and you’re sure that Minho will come out laughing! He’ll enjoy it and then he’ll be braver! It’s a fool-proof plan. Yaaay!

The doors slowly close behind you with an eerie… slow… drawling… only to slam and leave you in darkness. Minho makes a loud noise beside you.

A light flickers on in the corner and your guide gestures for your group of twenty to come closer. He starts with a low, booming voice, a speech which sends shivers even down your spine. The line between reality and fantasy was starting to blur. You’re not sure how much you believe what you’re being told about the history of this castle, but it doesn’t sound too far fetched… you cling to Minho as much as he’s clinging to you.

The first part of the tour sets the scene. You’ve done your research to know that there’s a guided part and free-to-explore part, and that the guided part was all downstairs. Jump scares were one thing, but you didn’t want to seriously freak him out by taking him somewhere up high. That wasn’t fair on him.

Some of the guided bits are funny, but Minho only laughs with a sound laced with pain - a strangled trauma. In his eyes you can see that he’s plotting your death. That’s okay. You kiss his hand (the one which is white-knuckling yours) to give him some courage.

Your group is taken down a long, narrow, winding corridor. The dim lights were just enough to reveal the mirrors coating the walls either side of you (you pull a funny face in your reflection to try and ease the tension but it doesn’t really work). Minho hasn’t let go of you. The sound of creaking doors come out of nowhere. The sound of maniacal laughter. Screaming. Footsteps. Gusts of wind enter this enclosed space. 

You hate to admit it, but your heart starts to beat a little faster.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Lights flicker off entirely and Minho gasps - but this time so do you. You step back against him, allowing the warmth of his body to soothe you as he wraps his arms around you. Nobody breathes.

The shuffling. Murmuring.

There’s a shift in the air around you.

By the time the lights come back on, it’s just the two of you.

Minho says your name with urgency and annoyance.

It’s just part of the tour, you’re sure about it.

But what if something went wrong? You don’t remember reading about this part… No, it must be planned. 

... Although...

You tiptoe further into the castle. The floorboards are whimpering under your weight. There’s a dripping faucet somewhere, but no tap. You step out of the corridor and you’re in a dusty room.

There’s a rocking chair which won’t stay still, curtains covered with stains. There’s an old record player in the corner of the room which is stuck on a loop, scratching, restarting, the jerky actions are in time with your speeding heart.

“This place is creepy.” Minho says, “Minho wants to leave.”

You smile at him, “There’s fun places to take pictures. Let’s do that first and then we can go!”

Take pictures?! Did you just offer to shave his head? He’s looking at you like you’re nuts. 

“Come on!” You take his hand as if it’s just for his benefit, but you know that you’re feeling tense too.

You’ve seen pictures people have taken where it looks like their head is being served on a platter, and with one person strapped to a torture table. Hopefully the novelty of that will loosen Minho up a bit.

The smell of Halloween was stronger the deeper into the castle you went; the plastic and rubber, the fake blood. The whole place reeked of - you’re tugged out of your thoughts by Minho jumping and yanking you to the side. Something touched his leg! Something touched his leg! He starts making incoherent sounds, playing with noises to drown out everything around him. You take him by his elbow and push him in front of you.

Hands which can’t reach you and jump scares triggered by motion pop out at you both as you make your way through the castle by following the glow in the dark signs. By the time you actually find a good place to get your picture taken, the light in the room reveals that Minho’s hair is an absolute mess, and somehow his clothing isn’t on him properly anymore. You smile as you fix his collar to reveal less of his chest.

He confirms for the 10th time that after taking the picture you get to leave.

You tell him to get up on the torture table, you’ll pretend to have him hostage. It will be fun, you swear! He reluctantly does as told and flinches when you hold up a fake hammer (which, to be fair, looks pretty real) as if you’re actually going to hurt him. You laugh and raise it above your head for the picture, but as soon as it’s taken you drop it and unstrap him. He’s so very ready to leave.

Minho jumps up and takes your hand, he’s so quick that you barely get the picture from the photographer on the way out. He stops in the hall, looking this way and that. You let him lead you to wherever he wants.

There’s clear frustration in the way his feet strike the ground. He’s starting to get annoyed with this… it’s making you feel guilty for bringing him here. Especially when you somehow end up back in the corridor of mirrors.

“I’m sorry. I thought it would be fun… let’s ju-” the scream that time comes from you. You turn your head as fast as you can without breaking your neck. What you spotted behind you in the mirror was now standing on the other side of glass. Swaying. Hair wet and clinging to tattered clothing. Minho’s reaction isn’t far behind yours. 

He’s running and pulling you with him.

You’re not focusing on where you’re going, just on keeping up with him.

He’s finally spotted the EXIT sign which sent him in a loop. He slows to catch his breath, asking you through desperate pants if you’re okay. You cling to his with both hands. That should be answer enough.

When freedom comes into view he starts to run again. He lands on the floor by the receptionist’s desk, back to the solid surface. His knees are against his chest and his face is in his hands. 

The receptionist smiles at you while you fan yourself, sweaty from the run.

“I recognise you two. Do you want to have a look at your pictures?”

You smile back and lean against the desk, nudging Minho’s thigh with your foot. “Yeah.”

She turns the screen and the sight… wow. You burst out laughing. His face is contorted. Your eyes are wide. You’re clinging to one another. Your expressions! You’re almost in tears from how hilarious it is!

“I want all of them! That one has to be a fridge magnet!” 

“Sure! Just a second.” she starts to print everything out for you and bags it up while you offer Minho your hand to help him to his feet. He still looks quite unwell and his hair is a serious mess. Aw. It’s cute. “So, will we see you next year?”

“Oh yeah!” you laugh. “See you next year!”

[belshka]

Complex // JJK (1)

January 16 2019

(y/n)’s POV

The clock strikes 7:00 PM. The soundcheck raffle announcement will be out soon. Why am I so excited? I must have saved the entire planet in my previous life if I got the soundcheck pass. Who am I kidding, the chance is 1 out of what, 35000? This is insane. No, this is madness. This is BTS.

It pops! The announcement post is here! My hands are cold. I saw my section, and.

And my ticket number.

My ticket number.

Should I scream? Shout? Faint? No, I take a seat on my couch. Just sit there, for 5 minutes straight, before I am able to call my friend, to break the news.

January 19 2019

This is it.

I walk into the venue, I can see the stage, and the Love Yourself World Tour banner. This is so unreal. This is massive. In just a matter of minutes I will finally see them! My heart hurts, my stomach hurts, my head hurts, yet I’m numb?

Fuck! I can hear Namjoon says hello from the stage followed by all the screams. As they walk to the extended stage where most of the soundcheck will be, I can’t help but to be mesmerized by every one of them. They’re legit god. Any arguments are invalid. I don’t know how long I’ve been zoning out until a hand shakes my shoulder from behind. “Hey are you okay? Do you need water? The security have water, I can ask for you?” Says a girl behind me. “Oh! Yes yes I’m totally fine, thanks though!” I smile back at her and bring my eyes back to the stage. Have I told you how good Jimin looks? Cause boy he looks so damn good, I actually forgot that my baby is Jungkook. They’re all my babies don’t get me wrong, even when I’m younger than the youngest but they’re still my babies. It’s been all fun and crazy how I’m able to see them like this, without make up, without the fancy clothes (although their casual clothes are still fancy). Until I notice HIM. Jungkook, with his huge ass camera, right in my direction. I -

Wait, why there is a sound of bell ringing? Am I being delusional?

Wow, I think Jungkook’s camera caught my confused and shooked face. I surely will be a meme in the BTS group chat. I try to push the weird feelings aside. You see this is weird, there is no such thing as soulmate bells or red string stuffs, or matching tattoos. I have been reading too much of fan fiction this is driving me crazy. The soundcheck ends and we are all being ushered to get back to our actual queue for the actual concert. I am so so speechless because come on, I just saw BTS! And probably gotta end up being a meme in their group chat. As I walk to find my friends, all I can think of is to call my sister, she’s also queueing but kinda far from me and my friends. “Hello?” “Oh my god, hahaha the stage is super super huge, and fuck!!! They are all so hot, sis omg, this is so unreal, I cant even believe my own eyes!” (I can’t believe my ears either) “Hahaha you had fun?” “Yes! Of course, where are you? Queuing already?” “Yup” “Okay then, I’ll see you inside!” The call ended as I spot my friends. I tell them everything, except my delulu self that heard the bell rings.

Jungkook’s POV

Another concert, another fun day. I can’t wait to see ARMY! Although I am tired from all the practices and flights, but I live for this, for the thrill, most importantly for those smiles. That I surely know are made for us, and because of us. In just a couple minutes I have to go up the stage for a short soundcheck, this is my favorite part of all because I can see them very clearly, the soundcheck was our idea, it is more intimate, although it seems unfair for those who’re not here, but this is the least we can do to get closer to our lovely ARMY. As Namjoon Hyung says hello, the crowd screams back, and I can already feel my lips forming a huge huge smile just knowing that they are here for us. I have my camera with me during every soundcheck, I feel like I have to capture every moment so I wont forget any details. The soundcheck goes well as usual, Hoseok hyung is having a little talk with ARMY as I shoot a video of him, then I move my camera to the crowd. I -

I hear the sound of bell ringing! What?! I cannot help but to find those eyes, and I finally found them, looking straight into my direction. She looks so confused, yet so beautiful. I bet she knows, I just hope she won’t go crazy. But, she closes her eyes and shakes her head. As if she does not want to believe it. I keep my eyes on her for awhile, my camera still recording her area, but I know for sure I have it zoomed in to her. She looks away first. She doesn’t believe in soulmates. I can see her head down for awhile, but I try my best not to look so obvious because I have been taught how to act if by any craziest chance I will find my soulmate like this. Which is to pretend it did not happened. To stay normal. But is it normal to ignore the existence of your soulmate? How soulmate works is weird, I don’t think the world notice it but when it comes to soulmate, you’ll never know. Every body has one, but the process is different, I don’t know about others, but surely mine is the bell.

We’re back at the waiting room, to get everything done, the make up, the script, the hair, outfits, and all. But I am still stuck. Starstruck? Is that the word? I never thought that my soulmate will be a foreigner? And an ARMY? Yes, ARMY. It feels like I’m living the best life. But also the saddest and tragic one, because I can do nothing. In this line of work, I have to stay like this. To give the best out of me. To sacrifice things. I hope in the end it will be worth the wait and sacrifice. “Jungkookieeeeeeeeeeee, why are you so saddddd?” Jin hyung asks from the couch while having his food. “Nothing hyunggggggg, just sleepy” I say as I walk into his direction and take a seat beside him. “Yah, be honest. Are you really sleepy or you found the one?” Jin hyung whispers. I can only look him in his eyes and hoping that he can read me. “Ayeeee I knew it. Which section?” He asks again. “Right side.” “Our right side or their right side?” “Ours.”

During the opening speech I try so hard to spot her, but I cant. The lights are blinding, and the size of the venue is not helping at all. I keep taking off my in ear just to talk to Jin hyung, praying that maybe he can help me spot her. As we’re about to sing Magic Shop, this is my chance to actually look for her in the pit so I walk slowly to the right stage while scanning the crowd, and I almost burst out laughing because I can see her running from nowhere into the back barricade. She’s something else. I look at her few seconds and I can see her very clearly because she is just by the barricade with her Army Bomb and her phone obviously recording ME. So I took my chance to go a little closer and I can see her friend slaps her right arm and screams something that I can’t really hear. But she’s unbothered. She’s so focus that I can tell her phone is not recording properly. Gosh she’s so funny, I can’t help but let a small giggle out while I shake my head, and walk back to the main stage. I can see her during Euphoria, I can’t really focus. She does not has her phone, I don’t know if she’s crying or not but she is standing in between her friends who are hugging her. It’s a beautiful view. Euphoria is the last time I saw her. Jin hyung spotted her during medley and Run. I’m so desperate to see her, this is my last chance. I keep on getting to the right side of the stage just to find her, until Anpanman, I can see her! I CAN SEE HER! I am so excited I can not contain my smile, I keep on dancing and hanging around the area. Last, it hits me during the closing, Answer : Love Myself, I have my in ear off and just so sad that this may be my last time seeing her. I try fight back my tears, I don’t think I sing properly, I hope no one notice. As we all walk back to the main stage, I look everywhere in her section hoping that I can see her for the last last time, shit I can’t see her. After the final bow I still give it a try, I walk a little bit to the extended stage but I still can not find her. I give up, giving my last smile before I walk off stage. And there my tears fall freely, I sit by the stairs to calm myself down because this is all too much, I have to fly to another country, leaving her, without any information. Without her knowing that I am her soulmate. My heart breaks even more, until Jimin hyung come to me and comfort me. He is truly the fairy. “Its okay Jungkookieeee, the chance will come sooner or later. You are soulmate, you’ll end up with each other. So don’t worry okay, you’ll find her. We will find her. Okay? Don’t cry, besides you did very good today!”  All I can do is to let out some sniffles as we both walk back to the waiting room to meet the others for concert photo.

(y/n)’s POV

The pit is crazy, I decided to stay at the back so it will be easier for me to run around to wherever Jungkook is heading. Bitch be running wherever her bias is heading, that bitch is me. Oh fuck, this is my song. Magic Shop, I literally scream each and every word out of my lungs. When I realize where Jungkook is heading, I literally run for my life to the back barricade and thank God it’s still empty. His legs ugh, he is sweating like crazy it makes him glow even more. I have my useless Army Bomb with me, and my phone, trying to record and capture Jungkook as much as I can because who knows, this may be my first and last. But luck was not on my side, I forgot to press record. I cannot scream, but Jungkook is too close, he is too close and my friend fucking slapped my arm. I could not careless all I see is him, too close, too close. Jesus bless my pure soul cause Jungkook just giggled? Why is he so funny.

Before the concert, days before the concert. I did my research very well, I know the whole setlist and where will they perform it. The stage and all so I know right after Just Dance, will be Euphoria at the main stage. I kinda make my way towards the stage with my two friends. “hey (y/f/n), can you please record the whole performance because I don’t think I can record it..” With that being said, the lights dim a little and I can hear the intro. I got goosebumps all over my body, I can’t believe that I finally able to see it live. Woah my body will collapse soon, my tears start to fall very quick. My friends notice and laugh but they have me in between them. Most of the time I stay at the back because I want to focus on the performance, plus I’m super tired I have not eaten anything yet today so I was at the back with water from the security. But I gained my energy back during medley and encore. Anpanman! Oh my god, I can see Jungkook again! Very clear because he is always on our side. I recorded his little cute dance. The 2 hours concert feels like a minute, they are at the extended stage for Answer : Love Myself, but boy is holding back tears. I feel a pang in my heart, and my lungs are lacking of oxygen. It hurts, my eyes are burning. I know this song will always have that effect on me but I don’t know that it will be like this. They walk back to the main stage for the final final bow, I smile through my tears and when the lights bout to turn off, Jungkook walk back a little for another goodbye while scanning through the crowd. This boy, he loves army that much. He smiles before it turns completely dark and the lights back without the boys on stage. I stay for some pictures with my friends, and my sister.

I say nothing about my weird feelings and the sound of the bell cause what kind of a crazy and delusional fan am I. So while waiting for the crowd to die down a little, I sit on the grass outside the venue while looking through my videos briefly, talking about the concert. The crowd somewhere goes crazy because apparently BTS is leaving for their hotel, but I could not careless because heck I’ve spent my entire day standing and waiting, I need to sit and rest my legs. And my crazy heart.

January 20 2019

Jungkook’s POV

Today is my last day here and I have no chance to explore because I have to fly back to Seoul.

(y/n)’s POV

Today is my last day here, I explore and shop a bit at the city before heading to the airport because I have to fly back home. Thank you (country), for the unforgettable night.

[devillainsarchive]

ooc: what is the status of this blog? still active, for right now

I am choosing to keep Carlos active (for now), and will until the end of time. Carlos means alot to me, he has helped me through alot, and through writing him I understand things better (such as the area of law I want to go into). He has brought me some of my best friends.

I love Carlos, in a way I don’t love many literary characters. From screen to the pages of the books, Carlos screamed out at me, and I was gonna listen. He still does that.

Cameron passing hurts. I dealt with this in the Glee fandom with Corey where I cried for days on end because Finn was the character I connected to on Glee. He reminded me of one of my friends in high school, he was the character I connected with most. I dealt with this when Kidd Kraddick passed and I couldn’t listen to the radio for weeks on end.

Kidd’s passing though taught me alot. The morning show is still going, the crew didn’t just let it fall to the wayside. Kidd had worked to hard. So I am going to take a page from their book. Cameron worked hard as Carlos, and on Carlos bringing him to life for us. I am going to do my best to keep Carlos going in a way I think Cameron would want.

Cameron means alot to me, I remember when Jessie first premiered, I remember when he first danced on Shake it Up. He’s been a part of my life, of all of our lives, and I don’t think he would want his characters to be forgotten or not written just because he’s not here. If anything I hope that my continuing to write Carlos will help it live on.

If you have problems with my decision, anon is off for the foreseeable future, so come talk to me. If you don’t want to write with me, that’s fine. If you want to block me, that’s fine too. But I am not going anywhere, and neither is Carlos. People process grief differently, and as many of you know I am passionate about Carlos. Carlos is a character that is bigger than just descendants for all that he stands for. When I have seen kids, and asked them why they liked him their answers were “He looks like me” to things that I had to report to CPS for the child’s safety. They related to him. And that means the world to me. It makes me want to carry that on if I can.

Many may see it as disrespectful for me to continue writing Carlos especially with all the topics that his bio and life covers. This blog as always been pretty friendly I don’t post NSFW stuff, but with his passing I will be dropping a thread on this blog that dealt with a near death experience. Nor will I be posting any death related memes for him. I love writing those things because it is a great way to see how a character handles grief. But, out of respect for Cameron and his family I wont be writing those things any longer on here. I’ll still write angst, and threads with Carlos getting hurt. I will still talk about Carlos’ past. But no more posts or angsty threads dealing with death at all. However every draft I have currently, and everything in my queue will be posted. My queue has 45 things in it.

As far as icons and stuff goes, I don’t know what I will do. My promo, theme, and everything were commissioned, and stuff. I don’t know what I will do when it comes to all that. I just, that is where I am with it. Just know I wont change his FC ever. Cameron and Carlos are intertwined. Carlos is a character yes, but Cameron influenced him.

To all who sent me messages thank you. If you need a place to vent my ask box is open to you, and a judgement free zone.

I know prayer is a load of crock to many of y’all, but its all I have to give to his family and friends. Prayers that can hopefully help them move forward, and remember Cameron, and deal with all of this, because if its hard me, and on his fans, I cannot even begin to imagine the toll it is taking on his family. I wish his family the best, and for Cameron’s spirit in memory to live on in our hearts.

[parkseoham-moved]

knk in london recap !! (aka a mess on my part)

i’ll skip over the morning/day part because it was basically just sitting on a cold floor for 7 hours on and off until we got let in but as the queue for the venue was opposite where the stage door was we saw the boys come and go for the special events and they kept waving at us :(

but okay idk how to even write this lol OKAY SO CONCERT this will be long

so idk how the floor looked because i was on the balcony and i will saw the plus of that was 1. no one in my way and 2. got barrier of the balcony because there weren’t many of us who decided to pay the more expensive of the tickets lol but also i was the only one on the balcony who had the lightstick from the makestar campaign and that piece of light up plastic i thank for everything that event because i sob i can’t do emojis on my laptop imagine the crying emoji like 438728 times

but they came out and i just. my friend had to ask me if i was okay because i don’t think i moved for a good bit because i was just like ??????? my boys ?????? are there ????????? the ones who i owe my life and money to ??????? RIGHT THERE ??????????/ i can’t even remember what order the setlist was uh it was a song. i know they done we are the one towards the start because i was a bit thrown off and only started filming it half way through the first chorus because i was just like ????? and i adore that song so much so i’m just so thankful to just hear it live and hear them live and i want to cry

then more songs this is the worst recap i can’t even remember order anyway then they done their introductions and T_T they tried to speak so much english to us and they done so well i just kept tearing up because i love them so much and appreciate them so much and how hard they were making the effort to talk to us without the translator and seoham !!! spoke so much english that boy is just a whole angel i’ll get onto that in a second. okay so me being the ONLY TINK WITH A LIGHTSTICK THAT WAS LIKE. A BEAM ON ME BECAUSE ALL OF THEM KEPT NOTICING ME BECAUSE OF THAT LIGHT UP PINK PIECE OF WONDERFUL PLASTIC and i just. seoham and dongwon noticed me the most they sent so many hearts and waved so much and just kept looking towards us on the balcony and i’m going to start criyng remembering this okay who’s idea was it to ask me to write this it’s a mess.

cue more songs i remember when rain started everything had a like collective sob/cry because last youjin song we miss him i miss him but yes rain was amazing every song was amazing but it’s knk that is to be expected. they had more like talky bits and they each like sung/rapped little songs. heejun mentioned how inseong recently was on masked singer and we all screamed inseong got shy but sung the song he sung (i forgot what it is okay) and then it got to seoham and he wanted to sing a very british song and asked us what is a british song. my forced to watch football throughout my youth instantly thought sing vindaloo and turn the entire venue suddenly into an england match but then realised he would not know that buT THEN HE STARTED SINGING HEDWIG’S THEME AKA THE HARRY POTTER THEME SONG and we all just collectively became potterheads for a good 2 minutes it was great. they then sung more songs. someone decided to sing propose then angel heart ??? like i didn’t cry enough anyway then oh at some point during the translator translating stuff she forgot what they said and was just like quickly summing something up and the boys noticed and were like no !!!!! we didn’t say that !!!! it was funny we all laughed but she done well whoever you are translator lady

they done u. aka one of my favourite songs. also seeing their footwork from above !!!! perfect. i also briefly lost my voice screaming the u parts in it i sounded like a frog i hope it wasn’t picked up on my video i haven’t watched it yet lol and yes oh yeah when they sung lonely night i told my friend because tbh she wasn’t a huge tink she just liked them and let me scream to her about knk for the past 2 years and i was just like right all i ask from you tonight is to scream i love you too after inseong does his oh i hate that i love you and idk if she did ngl i was too busy screaming it too kjsfhd and a girl we were near is heej biased and she screamed heejun i love you and he said it back to her anD SHE THREW HERSELF BACKWARDS like not even gracefully just went for it towards the floor she was gone because of 4 words tbh would’ve been me if i had the courage to yell to jihun what i wanted to yell but i was SCARED

then fade happened. they changed the choreo from the practice videos they posted on instagram. i’m not one who like faints over that type of choreo but a girl near me actually like collapsed at heejun it was funny but the choreo is just so lovely and the song in general is a pure masterpiece i think it’s becoming my favourite knk song (sorry i know) like i may have just been listening to it on repeat since s/sc was released lol but ugh that song i forgot they would perform it gdjfshkd i heard the heavy breathing at the start of the song and was like OH. FADE. and yes then choreo happened. the boys done good. then cue more songs and then it ended :((((( but i’ll talk about interactions okay

SO wait i’ve mentioned my ligthstick okay well bright official lightstock + knk noticing = me sobbing. i’m also not like. too eye contacty with people kjfhg but my god i swear i made eye contact with them like. a good 983745938 times that evening i just i love them so much ???? like i think because i was the only one up there who had anything bright dfkghks they just looked at me first and my heart hurts thinking about this okay so seoham is just. a pure angel ? like that boy ??? he literally always was looking up at the balcony at us and made sure we all like weren’t ignored just because we weren’t on the floor kfjghsk literally the about of times he looked at me and i just panic waved my lightstick. dongwon too at the end he blew a kiss at me and ngl. i felt my legs go a little. jihun also looked at me right in the eyes and i LITERALLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO I JUST AWKWARDLY SMILED BECAUSE WHAT WAS I TO DO WHEN MY ULT LOOKS AT ME DEAD IN THE EYES I DON’T KNOW I JUST WAVED MY LIGHTSTICK AND SMILED AND THEN DIED. inseong didn’t look up that much but when he did he like made sure to look at us all he was so sweet :( and then when they were taking the crowd photos heejun had the cheek to look directly at me and point the microphone at me when he asked us if we were ready like please don’T JUST LOOK AT ME I PANIC

okay hi touch.

if anyone saw my post from the other night then well yes this is true but i remember a little bit more but anyway i can’t even remember the order they were stood in i think it was dongwon > seoham > heejun > jihun > inseong ?? i know heej and jihun were 3rd and 4th i just blanked ngl but i do remember seoham and HIS SMILE i sob he smiled so bright when i said thank you and he said thank you back and held my hand as he high fived me and i want to CRY i can’t even remember dongwon or inseong I FEEL AWFUL IT WAS A BLUR (blame heejun) and all i remember of jihun was his hand ? like me making sure to not miss it out of nerves gkjdshfhj i don’t think i even looked at him in the eyes oh god  but heejun, oh heejun. i’ve had the biggest soft spot for heejun since i got into knk but regarding my post i remember nothing but being surprised at how big that boy’s skull is. like i knew he had a bigger head than the others and i know people have said his head is bigger irl but i was caught off guard hence not remembering anything else but he’s just so stunning in person??? and also smaller than i thought. idk if it was because i am already 10cm shorter than him in general and that i was wearing like 2 inch tall boots but he wasn’t that much taller than me and in general they all seemed not as tall as i expected ??? i guess idk it could just be because i’m already considered above average height so i didn’t have that drastic of a height difference to them fskjhd hhmm but yes they are all just. stunning. beautiful. amazing. talented. pretend i’m quoting that lady gaga meme that idk what she says but i see it around.

BUT YES then i got back to the hotel kinda couldn’t walk properly as my legs were all jelly like but they were just pure angels and kept mentioning like every 5 minutes that it was their 2nd time in london like yes i love you all but we get it. 2nd time in london. 

and yes then i woke up the next morning and just laid in bed and cried a good bit because of everything i love them so much thank you for reading my mess

[pureblooded-outcast]

HOW THE MUN RUNS THEIR BLOG .

SPEED. 

It honestly depends on how i’m feeling emotionally and what’s up irl along with how my muse is doing (don’t forget work, gotta deal with that too). As of right now, I’m hyper-focused on my hp blog more then my main blog so pokemon stuff has slowed a bit. I’m mostly lurking a lot so if you send a message to my im’s there's a 60% chance I will answer so if you wanna reach out to me about threads or smth that’s the way to do it. 

REPLIES. 

Honestly, I will post threads right after I finish writing them, or post them as soon as I finish writing out all the replies I owe from drafts. I’ve thought of queueing things but I keep stuffing aesthetics/memes/musing stuff in there and I rather not put a specific date of when this post should be posted because- well I'm lazy lmao Also if I did queue things i’d forget they were in there until it gets posted... that’d take a while. 

I try to match length most of the time and in doing so I sometimes go over the length necessary but if i’m satisfied with a short reply, i’m not going to force myself to up the word count. I don’t mind if my partner does short replies, as long as it’s not one or two words to my longer reply- it honestly just hurts my feelings tbh and makes me think of an old partner that forced themselves to rp with me cuz “they had no other choice” beside me. If it’s a chat thread then yeah one or two lines is fine and im not going to flip a lid or nothin. 

I have icons but they aren’t used much due to most of my partners not using them, but if you have icons then I’m ready to rumbles since I’ve been adding icons to my folder for a while due to boredom. 

STARTERS. 

100% of the starters I write are usually come out of left field and are written due to high muse and no replies to do. At this moment in time I have 11 open starters in my drafts but haven’t posted them due to knowing no one will answer them and I- just want someone to answer them ya know? Waste of a perfectly good written starter ya know. I’ve tried throwing out starter calls before but I think I’m better off kicking my anxiety to the curb and trying to privately message people instead. I mean?? so far it’s worked before and I’ve had nice chats with a few people... I still feel awkward at times mid messages so I’m just left going “ughg !?!??? w h at word”

pssttI’mm always down to be tagged in random shit just to let u know 

INBOX. 

My inbox is always open for mostly anything?? no m!a’s tho, not up for that I seriously just want to do stuff with other muses and not magical anons- also half the stuff from them is crack and while I have fun with that I want to plot or just two muses chatting

SELECTIVITY. 

I’m selective in a sense, I’m not too picky with who I follow  but it happens on my terms and after I read the persons rules/about/ read through a thread to see how they write etc. If we talk ooc it’s guaranteed that I’ll have more threads with you since I can scream about our characters interactions with each other with you personally. I just like being able to know the people I roleplay with and talk with them about what they want to happen in thread ect. Though I find it’s hard talking to ppl aahhah... 

WISHLIST. 

Wow okay, this is kinda hard?? some of the things are very character specific really.... Or just specific parts of Gladions backstory- like someone sneaking into a classroom they think is empty only to find Gladion trying to produce a patronus; someone catching Gladion shaking after watching polyjuced moody use crucio on a spider; someone catching him out late at night in the forbidden forest only to find he’s practicing darker spells; post-war Gladion going through a ptsd episode in front of someone; Gladion on the battlefield- covered in blood, ( his?? someone elses?? you just don’t know.) yelling out spell after spell trying to find Lillie because she wanted to fight too. post-war Gladion who is cold as ice, depressed/tired and holed up in his mansion unable to move past the war feeling as if he still has to fight but there is nothing left to fight physically against.

Third year has so many things going on Gladion wise that it’s nuts, from his night terrors, his self taught Occlumency going south, his reaction to the dementor on the train, the class seeing his boggart for the first time- I got a lot. I can talk anyone's ear off about my ideas for my character. 

TAGGED BY : ?? TAGGING : @doggedfather @lyraxlestrange  @stagtm @panalamb @broodingswan @therearemoreimportanthings @xmalfoydracox @vineanddragon @thelovelymissparkinson @partialparseltongue @unforgivableson @parasxl  @lycanthropyprofessor

[tisfan]

Make his Mark

Title: Make his Mark Collaborator: @27dragons & @tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: O4 - Marking Ship: Bucky/Tony Rating: E Major Tags: Sex, Anal Sex, Semi-public Sex, Marking, not your father’s coffee shop AU Summary: When the tabloids report that Tony Stark and Bucky Barnes’ marriage is going to end in divorce any day now, the queue starts forming to ”comfort” Tony. Bucky wants to make sure everyone knows that Tony is his.

Everyone. Word Count: 2,880 Created for @mcukinkbingo

A/N: We would apologize for hijacking the People Magazine meme, but we’re not actually sorry. Also, this story takes place in the Communal Kitchen AU, somewhat after Long Winter, but you don’t need to know anything about it, except that Bucky and Tony are married.

Everything below the readmore, for smut

There was nothing finer than looking up at Tony, straddling Bucky’s thighs, glistening with sweat, each muscle outlined with golden candlelight, as Bucky very slowly pushed up into that heat. They had the penthouse to themselves, all the kids were gone, and half of the Avengers with them. With relative privacy and the assurance of no interruptions, Bucky had taken his husband to bed, with the intentions of staying there for most of the evening.

Tony raised up, then rolled his hips as he sank back down, shuddering with the sensation. He put his hands on Bucky’s shoulders to change the angle and rocked again, humming with the shifting position. “Article in today’s People says you’re not in love with me anymore,” he mentioned.

Bucky choked and spluttered, then groaned as that changed the way they were fitting together. “Tony, I am literally balls deep in your ass right now,” he pointed out. He flexed his hips, fingers gripping Tony’s thighs. He clenched his jaw in an effort not to spill over right away; his dick often seemed to have an urge to make a point, somehow.

“Mm, yeah, I noticed that.” Tony dug his toes into the mattress for balance and pushed back onto Bucky’s cock even harder than before. “But do you still like me?”

Bucky slid an arm around Tony’s back and before he could protest, rolled them over until he was on top, sliding even deeper with each thrust, as if he could permanently become one with his husband. He leaned in, until his mouth was hovering mere millimeters away from Tony’s. Until speaking brushed their lips together. “I am so into you, baby,” Bucky said, “that nothin’ gonna pull me out.” He demonstrated, by way of pushing Tony’s knees back until they were practically touching his ears.

Tony’s breath caught and his hands clenched in the sheets. “Glad to h-hear it,” he groaned. “Oh, Christ, yes, right there, more.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, rocking with him, stroking Tony with each heartbeat, kissing him thoroughly. He was going to come quicker; driving down into Tony’s lithe, beautiful body always drove him wild. “You know I love you.” He balanced on the metal arm, getting a hand between them to tease Tony’s dick. “Don’t you?”

“Course I do,” Tony panted. “‘M just sayin, the press is at us again. And you know-- oh! Oh, yeah, sweetheart, just like that -- you know what it means when that happens.”

Bucky almost snarled; settled for purring in Tony’s ear, instead. “Means some stupid, mislead idiots with delusions of adequacy are gonna come crawlin’ out of the woodwork, hopin’ for a bite of Tony Stark.” He nipped at Tony’s throat, down to worry at Tony’s collarbone, sucking up a red mark. He ran his thumb back and forth over the crown of Tony’s cock, smearing precome around.

“God, it should not be so hot when you get possessive,” Tony swore. “You know I don’t want anyone else, baby.”

“I know,” Bucky said, and he did, he knew that. Tony had never even had to prove himself to Bucky; they’d held each other’s lives and hearts and heads since they practically met. He didn’t have doubts. “Jus’ don’t like ‘em circling around you like blowflies. You’re not someone’s prize.” He sucked in a breath, thrust in, and twisted his wrist at the same time. “You’re mine.”

Tony threw his head back on a cry and came, spilling over Bucky’s fist to splash across his stomach. “Yours,” he gasped. “Always.” He reached up to curl his fingers into Bucky’s hair. “And you’re mine. Moy soldat.”

Bucky arched, that squeeze and heat, so perfect… he gasped for air, everything clenching down, and then-- “Oh, god.” Deep and molten and shivering, Bucky let it go, pleasure zipping from nerve to nerve as he came, crying Tony’s name. He chased after his breath for a bit, heart throbbing painfully in his chest, practically squashing Tony while he recovered his wits.

“Do I like you,” Bucky said, rolling over and spreading out over as much of the bed as he could get, trying to cool down. “What idiocy. Of course I like you. Like you, love you, want you, need you. Everything. All of it. There aren’t even words.”

Tony sighed in satisfaction. “We might have to put on a show for the press again,” he said. “Since it seems to be a slow news week.”

Bucky rolled up onto his elbow. “What a hardship.”

Really, as Tony got older, you’d think the number of people trying to hit on him would decrease. Sure, he was pretty fit for his age, still a billionaire, still a celebrity superhero, and there were always going to be people who found that attractive; Tony had long since resigned himself to the occasional offer from a fan with little to lose. But since the latest round of the gossip rags proclaiming that Tony and Bucky were going to call it quits Any Day Now, it seemed every third person he met was trying to get into his pants.

Bucky hadn’t even left Tony’s side for five minutes at the last event they’d been at before some society darling had pressed up against Tony’s side and offered to help him through those lonely nights.

Honestly, the woman was lucky that Bucky had only flayed her with words on his return; Tony was pretty certain he’d been mentally doing much worse.

Tony didn’t know where the gossip sites got their speculation from. It’s not like they’d stopped being affectionate with each other -- the kids were forever complaining about it, actually. Which only made them do it more, because it was funny. But apparently, that was too subtle. They were going to have to take things a little bit farther to get the message across.

Bucky, who normally contained himself to shooting at bad guys, and the occasional knife fight when one got too close, switched it up a bit and picked up one of the Not-Quite-Doombots (Tony didn’t know what they were, but they weren’t Doom’s robots, those things were dangerous, these were more like knock-off, dollar store bots. Annoying, clunky, and prone to malfunctions. The Avengers were only called in because there were so many of them) and threw it.

The ‘bot crashed into a nearby coffee shop and sent patrons screaming away. The way Bucky glared at the shop, without paying the least bit attention to the scrap metal he’d just failed to recycle, made Tony wonder if the collateral damage was a little more directed than usual.

But that was the last one. Nothing was still standing that wasn’t wearing signature colors (and the bystanders, who were by-fleers). Bucky took two running steps, hit a park bench, and leaped, getting an arm around Tony and practically tackling him to the ground. It was a good thing Tony had all sorts of shock resistance built into the armor. As it was, the fall jolted his breath out of him and Bucky thumbed the helmet’s release and was kissing him before Tony could recover his air.

“Mph--” Tony tried to say, then gave up and kissed his husband. It was shorter than usual, because air was a thing, and Tony hadn’t started out with a full breath. “Fighting knockoff Doombots gets you hot and bothered now?” he teased.

“No,” Bucky said. He nuzzled at Tony’s jaw. “College girls daring each other to flash Iron Man when he flew by kinda pisses me off, though. That one in th’ blue shirt left her damn brassiere on the table.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “No subtlety at all,” he complained. “Think it’s time to do something about this mess?”

“Mmmm,” Bucky said. He rolled to his feet and offered Tony a hand up. Steve was squawking over comms about the cleanup. Bucky made a face, tugged his earpiece out and threw it over his shoulder. “Fight fire with fire.” He lifted Tony up, armor and all, kissed him again, like they were in some sort of romcom and the wreckage of the street was a field of flowers.

Tony returned the kiss, with interest. “Have I mentioned before how hot it is that you can manhandle me in the suit?” He grinned down at his husband.

“You an’ the suit don’t even weigh what Thor does,” Bucky said. At Tony’s dubious look, Bucky added, “we did ‘get help’ last fight. It was fun.” He turned and carried Tony right back to the coffee shop, which was abandoned and ruined. Bucky took particular pains to step on the lacy bralette laying, forgotten, on the floor. He pushed into the back office, depositing Tony on the desk and swept it clear of rubble.

“Really?” Tony asked. “This is your choice of location?” He didn’t waste any time unfolding himself from the suit. He glanced up at the security camera in the corner and shot it with an EMP blast. There was a limit to how much evidence he wanted the press to get their hands on.

“Smells better than a broom cupboard,” Bucky said with a shrug. “An’ if someone’s gettin’ naked about you in a coffee shop, it’s gonna be me.” He worked open his armor one handed. “Gonna be a quickie. Once I’m outta this shit, I don’t like t’ put it back on until it’s clean.” He licked his way into Tony’s mouth, one hand sliding down the underflight suit until he reached Tony’s hip. “But I’ll make you feel real good, baby.”

“Promises, promises,” Tony taunted, groping down the front of Bucky’s armor and generally interfering with Bucky’s attempt to get it opened, until he got his hand on Bucky’s cock. “Already hard for it? You sure it wasn’t the ‘bots?” Tony grinned impishly until Bucky growled and leaned in to kiss the smirk off his face.

“Maybe a little bit th’ ‘bots,” Bucky said. “It’s nice t’ cut loose an’ not worry about hurtin’ people.” He groaned, pushing against Tony’s hand. “Gonna be even quicker than a quickie if you keep doin’ that.”

Tony was pretty sure Bucky would be able to manage a second round if he did shoot off quick, but it was also a pretty good bet that Steve or someone else would come looking for them if they were missing too long, so they probably didn’t have time for two rounds.

Tony wasn’t completely hard yet -- he wasn’t as fast on the draw as Bucky -- but the warm press of Bucky’s body and the firm stroke of Bucky’s hand as it slipped into the suit was getting him there pretty easily. “RPF,” he murmured. “Coffee shop AU.”

“Look at you, baby,” Bucky crooned. “Love it when you’re all sweaty ‘n dishevelled.” He rubbed Tony’s shaft with the heel of his hand, fingers teasing at his balls while he taunted Tony with more kisses, his tongue flicking over Tony’s lips in quick, heated strokes.

Tony groaned and tipped his head back, tugging Bucky’s mouth toward his throat. “Oh, yeah, yes, Bucky...”

Bucky fastened his mouth on Tony’s throat, a sharp nip and flare of pain as Bucky sucked all the blood to the surface, tonguing the spot when he was done. He rutted against Tony’s thigh, hips moving urgently. He kissed Tony again, hard and quick, then pushed him a little higher on the desk until he was sitting on it, Bucky tucked in the vee of Tony’s legs. “Gonna eat you right up like an ice cream.” Bucky slid to one knee, matching actions to works and took Tony down to the root in a single motion. His mouth was a hot, slick inferno and his tongue worked at Tony’s skin with skill and agility.

“Oh Christ,” Tony gasped. Quick, indeed; there was no slow savoring here. Bucky worked him with raw, ruthless efficiency, proving just how well Bucky knew Tony’s body. He clenched his hands in Bucky’s hair, hanging on for dear life. “God, Bucky, yes...”

Bucky slid two fingers into his mouth, teasing at Tony’s cock, his tongue working in between them, then, slippery with spit, drew them back, along the crease of Tony’s thigh until he was pressing at the entrance to Tony’s body, a quick little caress and tease, circling and encouraging Tony to thrust up, into Bucky’s mouth. The noises he was making were obscene, slick and wet, moaning almost continuously.

Tony whined and pushed up into the welcoming heat of Bucky’s mouth and throat. He shuddered at the sensation, and Bucky pressed one finger into Tony’s hole, not far, just enough to stretch and burn a little. It was enough to tip him over the edge. He cursed and jerked and then came, shooting down Bucky’s throat in a warm wave.

Bucky licked and tormented him through the aftershocks, until Tony was weakly batting him away, overstimulated and jittery. Bucky licked at his lip, his mouth red and swollen and used looking, face pink, hair sticking to his forehead. “You are utterly, utterly wrecked, babydoll,” Bucky said, smug jerk that he was.

“You’re not much better,” Tony retorted. He gingerly tucked himself back into his undersuit. “Do I get a turn at wrecking you next?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, eyes flashing eagerly. “Wanna feel you, baby, your nice warm skin. Got a hand for me?”

“For you, sweetheart, always.” Tony dragged his hand over Bucky’s cock, teasing a little before wrapping firmly around it. He kissed down Bucky’s neck, sucking at the skin. “Think if I work hard enough at it, I can give you a hickey that’ll last long enough for some pap to get a picture?” he wondered. He sucked a little harder, pulling the soft skin between his teeth.

Bucky groaned, pushing into the pressure of Tony’s mouth, head falling back in supplication. “Don’t know that I even care,” he said, “damn, that feels good, Tony, oh, oh, yeah, like that, baby.”

Bucky might have started their tryst as a possessive marking of territory, but once he was into it, Tony was his sole focus. It was a little humbling, sometimes, the raw, naked longing that Tony could see in Bucky’s every movement. From the way he shuddered under Tony’s hand to the savage wantonness of his cries.

“That’s it,” Tony coaxed, working his hand faster, rolling over the tip to spread precome down Bucky’s cock. “So gorgeous, so perfect for me. Come for me, sweetheart, I want to feel you coming.” He licked at Bucky’s neck, the salty tang of sweat and skin, and if he hadn’t just climaxed, he’d be getting hard again.

Bucky rolled up onto his toes, fucking up into Tony’s hand. His fingers clamped down on Tony’s shoulders and he let his mouth drop open, all the stress and worries dropping off his features until they were smooth and relaxed. His eyes fluttered shut and then, “Oh, god, Tony.” His hips stuttered, pistoning wildly, two, three strokes. A soft sigh and he arched into it, painting Tony’s belly, hip, and the thigh of his flight suit with come.

Tony stroked him through it, peppering his face and neck with kisses. “So wonderful, so beautiful,” he murmured. He nosed at Bucky’s temple, dropping a soft kiss there. “Now who’s wrecked?” he teased.

“One ‘a these days,” Bucky said, huffing out a breath, “I’m gonna make you carry me.” He shuddered, resting his forehead against Tony’s shoulder for a long moment before yanking his tactical pants back up around his hips. He tucked himself in, belted the pants, but left the shirt open, showing off his chest, and a few round, red bite marks.

Tony found some napkins to wipe up the mess and then got himself back into the armor. He left the helmet off; the tender spot on his neck where Bucky had sucked a hickey would probably show nicely, and it definitely wasn’t a combat injury. “You want me to give you a lift back up to the ‘jet?”

Bucky took a step back, his knees obviously shaky. “Yes, yes, I would like that,” he decided, firmly. “You can sit with me on th’ way back to the Tower. I don’t think we need an aerial escort today.”

“Your wish is my command.” Tony caught Bucky’s hand in his -- he couldn’t feel it through the gauntlet, but it was nice anyway -- and led the way back out into the street. He caught Bucky around the waist. “Hold on,” he said. He waved at a returning bystander, giving their cell camera a bright press smile, and then took off, Bucky’s arms twined around his neck.

“Buck, you okay?” Steve asked, as they landed in the ‘jet.

“Yeah, Stevie,” Bucky said. “Just needed a hand with somethin’.”

Steve took a step forward, as if concerned, then his nostrils flared. “Buck!”

Jessica Jones, who was stripping out of her armor with very little regard for modesty, looked up. “What?”

“You can’t smell that?” Steve grimaced. “Really? Really, Buck?”

Bucky’s mouth twitched until he was forced to duck his chin to hide a wide grin and flushed cheeks. “Really.”

Tony dropped onto the bench beside his husband. “No need to get excited about it, Cap,” he said, probably more smugly than he should. “It’s just a little territory marking.” 

[fedorasaurus]

Domestic Ship Headcanons

Question source: http://gabetastic.tumblr.com/post/45754507464/collating-all-the-domestic-ship-memes-together

I’m doing this for SodomRolento first, but feel free to ask me about any other ships to answer these for! Obviously these are my own personal headcanons and tend to stray toward silliness, so take my answers with a grain (or box) of salt.

Who’s more dominant: Rolento, 1000000%. I'm fairly certain that “dominance” is one of his canon character traits, although I also like to imagine that he softens on that when he's really comfortable with someone he trusts, indulging in submissiveness.

Who’s the cuddler: Sodom. He just looks like he gives great hugs.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: I imagine that it varies. Rol probably likes the security of being the small spoon, but on the other hand, there's also something really sweet about the physically smaller one being the big spoon.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Watching anime. Rol wasn't into it at first, but Sodom eventually got him hooked on some action-packed magical girl shows (Rol admires that the protags are so beautiful and strong).

Who uses all the hot water: Rolento sometimes... zones out while he's in the shower. Sodom doesn't mind being stuck with the cold water, though; he thinks it helps him hone his focus and warrior spirit. Of course, this all assumes that they aren't showering together...


Most trivial thing they fight over: "Why do you wear your armor in bed?" "Why do you wear your GRENADES in bed?!"


Who does most of the cleaning: Rolento is pretty filthy and rugged as a person, but he's also really into keeping things organized and efficient. Also, clutter stresses him out. He can't believe Sodom lives like this.


What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: Sodom has a Crunchyroll account for sure. But also any sort of service on which he can watch his favorite old samurai movies, assuming he doesn't already have them on VHS or DVD/Bluray.


Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Both of them seem like the type to try to fix things themselves, but if it came down to it, Rolento would make the (hopefully not too threatening) phone call.

Who leaves their stuff around: Sodom. In fact, this is pretty much canon. Have you SEEN his stage?


Who remembers to buy the milk: Rolento. He takes this mission very seriously.


Who remembers anniversaries: They're both pretty good about this, especially with something like "the anniversary of when we blew up the Shadaloo base and drove off into the sunrise together."


Who cooks normally: Sodom, 100%. His cooking is probably the only Japanese thing he's good at. Otherwise Rolento is out there hunting squirrels and eating uncooked instant ramen.


How often do they fight: All the time, if we're talking about combat training. As far as arguments, I don't know, all of the Madgears are odd birds, so I imagine that they're mostly used to each others' quirks at this point. Maybe the occasional outburst after a bad day, but nothing that can't be resolved!


What do they do when they’re away from each other: If Rol is out of town on a mission or something, Sodom texts him every day with lots of haikus and emojis to convey how much he misses him. Rol isn't really big on mobile communication, but he might have one of his soldiers discreetly check in to make sure that things are okay at home and Sodom's business.


Nicknames for each other: Sodom calls Rolento "Rol-chan" or "Show Gun." Rolento pretty much just uses "Blood Brother," but if he's feeling extra romantic, he might tell Sodom that he's his "handsome and competent samurai man."


Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Probably Sodom, being the one with a fierce sense of honor and a legitimate source of income.


Who steals the covers at night: Sodom. Rolento can tolerate a lot of discomfort, so he doesn't really mind, and of course this is always a good excuse to initiate spooning.


What would they get each other for gifts: Rolento gets Sodom authentic Japanese swords or other equipment, which may or may not have been stolen from a museum. Sodom gets Rolento really cute cell phone charms, which he pins to his uniform like it's a goddamn medal.

Who kissed who first: Rolento, and he was nervous as hell. It was one of the few times that Sodom has seen him flustered.


Who made the first move: Rolento, though he ended up having to make a lot more moves after that because Sodom was so oblivious.


Who remembers things: Rolento remembers a lot of things that he would have preferred not to, but I guess in the context of a relationship, Rol is pretty good at keeping up on things as long as they stick to a solid plan/routine. Sodom is more good when it comes to improvising.


Who started the relationship: Rolento initiated the friendship way back when Sodom first joined Madgear and Rolento thought that his whole "urban samurai" thing was just a street fighting persona. By the time he realized that that was actually literally Sodom's THING, they were already too smitten with each other to back out.


Who cusses more: ROLENTO FUCKIN' SCHUGERG. Although, Sodom can be heard screaming in broken Japanese obscenities whenever someone messes with his truck.


What would they do if the other one was hurt: If it's during a fight or something, Rolento would tell Sodom to tough it out, but then immediately take down the person who hurt him with sort of an overkill vengeance. If Rol was hurt or got into a dangerous situation over his head, Sodom would shield him with his body and try to intimidate the enemy away using his size and spectacular fighting moves. Rolento has the most first-aid skills of the two of them, but if it's a situation of emotional pain, Sodom is the most patient and comforting one. Rolento doesn't cry in front of anyone else.

Who is the dirty talker: ROLENTOOOOOOOOO

A head canon: Being that it's Halloween at the time of writing this, here's a domestic Halloween headcanon: All the neighborhood kids know that Sodom & Rolento's house is like... the best, because those guys give out fancy Japanese sweets, and sometimes Sodom gets really hype over the kids' cosplays. Rolento has seen enough real-life horrors that he can't get very festive for spooky Halloween fun, but he respects that at least the youths are going door-to-door for candy rather than getting into trouble... for the most part. He does, however, attend Halloween parties with his Madgear buddies every year. Sodom helped him make his vampire alt costume, though the exploding skulls, he did himself.

[ouranking]

I’m on mobile. Can I get a link to your rules?

Hello my dear! My Rules page is a pop up so let me go ahead and copy and paste them and put them under a read more for you.

RULES AND GUIDLINES

Hey there! My name is Luna! and you have managed to find my rules page. Please take the time to read over them. Most of my rules are the basic ‘don’t be a dick’ rules, so hopefully it won’t be too hard to get through. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me.

LAST UPDATED: 09/17/2018

ABOUT

This is a Tamaki Suoh blog from Ouran High School Host Club. My interpretation of him is based on the anime and manga so please expect me to incorporate things from both! I will also be throwing in the flare of my own headcanons into the mix, so please expect that.

I am SEMI-SELECTIVE blog. What this means is that I am reserving the right to decide who I want to roleplay with at any given time. I do this for my anxiety sake, and I don’t ever want to roleplay with someone out of guilt or obligation. All I am asking is that you please respect this, I have a hard time with confrontation, but I am not about to be bullied either.

My activity often varies day to day, there are some days that I’m on all day long, and other days where I don’t touch my computer at all. I’m a stay at home mom, and sometimes my children don’t exactly make it easy to actively be online. I also have other hobbies like video games, and sometimes I’m just in the mood to binge watch a show rather than trying to do drafts.

DRAFTS & MEMES & OPENS & VERSES

When it comes to DRAFTS, and replies I want it to be known that I am not fast most days. I have my good days and my bad days when it comes to writing, and even on my good days I’ve been known to queue things if I feel like I need a chance to get caught up. I ask nicely that you don’t harass me for a reply, though if it has been over two weeks you can kindly ask me if I’ve seen your reply because sometimes tumblr can be dumb, or I can be spacey.

Anyone is allowed to send in MEMES, however I reserve the right to decide not to answer it for whatever reason. You are totally allowed to turn any meme I answer into a thread, AS LONG AS YOU MAKE IT A NEW POST.

Along with memes, anyone is allowed to reply to one of my OPENS or like one of my STARTER CALLS. The only time this changes is if I specifically tag it as 'mutuals only’, and I ask that you please respect that. Though I do try to write everyone a starter or make sure I answer everyone’s reply to an open, I’m not perfect. I may miss one or two, or I may not be able to come up with something decent.

I am a multi-ship and multi-verse blog, and what this means is that any and all interactions I have with fellow rp partners are all in their own separate verses. Unless discussed ahead of time by all parties involved. I love all forms of AUS and CROSSOVERS and most of the time am more than willing to figure out something with my rp partner if their character isn’t from the Ouran canon. Especially since Ouran isn’t exactly an active fandom, i plan on making plenty of different possible Aus for Tamaki to make him more accessible for crossovers!

SHIPPING & PLOTTING & MAINS & NSFW

When it comes to shipping, I have been often times described as a shipping hoarder. I am also someone who can see a potential ship quite easily. However, I’m still a fan of chemistry between characters. I am of course always willing to hear someone out of they think there is a chance that a ship can be formed, however this does not give anyone the right to push their muse onto me or Tamaki. Please respect this. If I think the ship feels forced in any regard there is a good chance I will drop it.

Plotting is a team effort, no one person should be expected to come up with the entirety of any plot. With that being said, if you approach me for plotting, or like a plotting call, please be prepared to actively engage with me and work with me to try and come up with something for our characters. If it seems like you are unwilling to actively help me out then there is a good chance that I will lose interest and give up altogether.

If you are an ORIGINAL CHARACTER looking to interact with me I am totally game! The only thing I ask is that you have at least some sort of about page so I can read up on your character, or be willing to answer any and all questions I may have about your character.

When it comes to nsfw content such as roleplaying out a sex scene it goes without saying that I will only write such things with someone who is 18+, even then I rarely ever write out sex scenes. This is honestly because I feel uncomfortable and am never satisfied with my writing. However I do still write it from time to time with people I know ooc and am comfortable with and those threads will be tagged.

Another added note about NSFW content is that there will be no sex scenes happening within Tamaki’s main verse because he is still a minor by U.S. Standards and since that is where I live I’m going to abide by that law. HOWEVER. I have verses where Tamaki is over 18 and am more than willing to discuss such things in those verses, though like i said before I rarely ever write sex scenes to begin with.

I rarely do exclusives, the reason being that every time I was involved exclusively with someone it went to shit and only caused problems and unneeded drama. I will however take on mains and all that means is that muse permitting those people will have priority, along with having to deal with my ass sending them songs, feels, memes and writing them random starters from time to time.My current mains can be found in the next tab over titled 'mains’.OOC DRAMA

Alright here is the dealio my friends.

I am not a fan of OOC Drama, i’ve seen my fair share of it and i’m just not a fan. With that being said, I want to be left out of it. Whatever the drama is, just leave me out of it all. I’m not a fan of callout posts in almost every capacity. I think they are beyond childish, and scream ‘high school drama bullshit’, like it’ a goddamn burn book and no one needs that shit okay? Dragging your personal beef with someone like that is just.. -deep breath- my point is, I don’t like it.

Obviously i’m not a fan of anon hate, and I won’t tolerate it on this blog at all. You can expect them to be blocked immediately. I am here to have fun writing a character that I love with all my heart, and i’m not about to let tumblr’s toxic nature ruin that for me. So please if you have a problem with the way I run my blog then just unfollow me, or even block me if you have to. I’ll do what is good for me, and you do what is good for you.

Also, don’t warn me about people. I know you probably think you are just doing something nice and looking out for people. But more often than not, you are just putting me in a really uncomfortable position that I don’t want to be in. So do yourself a favor and just.. Don’t.

MISCELLANEOUS

For the most part I am a relatively laid back person, I love to chat with my roleplay partners OOC, because a lot of time that helps me get to know them and it just helps for world building and creating something truly amazing together. With that being said, if we are writing together, especially if we have a ship.. I can be a babbler. I tend to get excited about ships and the things we plan to do and i love talking headcanons and ‘what ifs’ situations that can be created into plots. If this is something that bothers you, or you aren’t a fan of it? Tell me up front. If it’s the case then I’ll refrain to a pace that you are more comfortable with. I say this because if you say you are okay with it, and then proceed to.. give me short answers and make me feel like you aren’t interested, I will probably drop the ship because my anxiety can’t handle that.

Another thing to keep in mind, I have anxieties myself. Sometimes I don’t click with people as easily as I do others and that’s okay! However please remember that I’m occasionally busy and I may not always be around and on my computer. Sometimes I am forgetful, especially with the tumblr IMs system. However please please don’t spam me there with questions of like ‘did i do something wrong?’ or ‘ am i annoying you?’ etc. this makes me extremely uncomfortable and make me more likely to just nore reply at all as horrible as it sounds, but anxiety is a bitch and no one is perfect.

When it comes to following blogs, I do my best to look over new followers in a timely manner and a lot goes into my decision on whether or not I’ll follow a blog back. Please keep in mind that I obviously can’t follow everyone back because that would make my blog way too fast pace and I can’t have that.

[chonko-the-simp]

I posted 2,438 times in 2021

438 posts created (18%)

2000 posts reblogged (82%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.6 posts.

I added 1,083 tags in 2021

#queue - 419 posts

#tfaws - 88 posts

#bucky barnes - 81 posts

#the falcon - 77 posts

#sam wilson - 76 posts

#falcon - 73 posts

#tfaws memes - 69 posts

#rangers apprentice - 67 posts

#the rangers apprentice - 67 posts

#captain america - 66 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#not me staring at this trying to do the math as to how this is supposed to make sense and why he out here looking like the crimson chin

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

the whole time Sam is fighting Karli and she’s screaming for him to fight back and he does nothing but defend himself because he still believes she has a chance

878 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 17:45:08 GMT

#4

Don’t get me wrong I adore Steve Rogers but him stepping down and giving Sam the mantle of Captain America is probably my favorite thing that has ever occurred in the MCU as a whole

958 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 17:59:09 GMT

#3

I wanna know what bet Loki lost that warranted him being DB Cooper. Like how is being DB Cooper a loss?!?!

1308 notes • Posted 2021-06-11 02:29:31 GMT

#2

The fact that in Infinity war Wong offers to give Strange some rupees to pay for a sandwich but is also one of the top fighters in an underground fighting ring where he makes hella cash has me rolling. Wong is that Bitch.

1776 notes • Posted 2021-09-04 04:59:15 GMT

#1

@disney stop being cowards and just give me this crazy bitch

Her name is literally a play on Cruel Devil and you’re tryin to make her relatable??!

12565 notes • Posted 2021-05-28 19:09:32 GMT

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