#Queer life

[thursdayplaid]

There are definitely people with prejudice who are looking for an excuse, but for a lot of older people it's definitely the above. Just something as small as swearing. You can't swear around A Lady (TM) but you can around A Certain Type of Girl but if you cause A Lady (TM) to think that you think that she's A Certain Type of Girl then you're in Big Trouble and might be labeled as A Bad Guy and get shut out of certain social groups. There are more complications to social interactions, do you say Ma'am or Miss, are you proper or relaxed, should you be careful or open.

The fact that culture has changed enough that these concerns have changed or apply differently doesn't change that for older generations they are very important. Recently there was a reddit post where a woman was thinking about divorcing her husband over an incident that started with him trying to wear jeans and a plain shirt to her brother's funeral. The first comment was someone who said they (the commenter) wouldn't care if someone wanted to wear jeans to their (the commenter's) funeral. First, this had nothing to do with what OP was asking advice about. Second, the fact that younger generations have different social mores doesn't mean that it hasn't been socially acceptable for centuries to dress up for a funeral.

A lot of social changes are good and important, but that doesn't mean those rules of etiquette that existed before universally stop existing.

Okay but can anyone articulate the mindset that leads older people to feel like they NEED to know people's gender identity all the time? Like what's going on there

[troutreznor]

At a NYC Pride in the 80s.

photo & caption by Mariette Pathy Allen [website] [instagram]

[bradandchris]

Chris threw in the last towel for his burgeoning line of men's underwear after learning his boyfriend Brad sourced the prototypes by purchasing them directly from SKIMS.

Finally connecting why they took a sheet to the beach that one day, Brad found it difficult to pay attention to a lecture on copyright infringement from someone involved in such an oversight debacle. It was also hard not to wonder what the grey skintight suit might look like wet.

Brad was far from alone. Everyone in the closest row of cabana's would hold their breath every time Brad took a small step backwards toward the pool in his highly animated and passionate speech oddly championing someone with billions, a team of lawyers, and the law already in their favor.

She was also a lawyer herself... or at minimum on her way. It was difficult to keep up with bar exam news between Klhoe's lackluster clap back's and finding yourself justifying why not a single man has managed to remain on the show despite secretly feeling not so hot about that. It was a lot with nowhere to go, especially considering the level of sophistication fronted.

Brimming with frustration at his boyfriend's antics, Chris snapped and rushed Brad midsentence to land them both squarely in the pool. Everyone on deck was already on the edge of their seat as they surfaced.

Well… Let's just say Kim K deserves every single dollar she has as the pool deck literally broke out in applause at the sheer glean and mind-blowing accentuation of Brad's perfect nipples. It was breathtaking. It was the only time the two of them wished California was more humid and colder.

Despite the gray suit's flawlessness, Brad and Chris still managed to one up the design. The incident inspired them to launch a new brand of swimwear composed completely of dissolvable materials called ‘Sorry But Not Sorry SKIMMY.’ The initial investor would convince Brad and Chris to shorten the name to ‘But SKIMMY’ to transform it into the ultimate macho answer to the curvaceous clothing line.

Ironically, Brad and Chris’ venture would fail because no one could materialize a profitable dissolvable.

[gor3sigil]

I wish body positivity was a thing for literally everyone, with the same energy people put for cis white women.

Don't get me wrong, I know we're still far away, collectively, from the end of fatphobia and that most of people treat these women like shit on the daily and/or fetishize them disgustingly.

But it seems like being a shithead to people and insulting their bodies is ok, especially when it comes to men in their 40s or 50s. As a transmasc person who is likely to have a receding hairline and a dad belly, because genetics, I really wish that it was not a trend to make fun of that because you don't know who reads and hears you. In the same way I had trans brothers say that they were afraid to call themselves men, I had some who were terrified of growing old as men because they were scared of having the appearance of a grown man.

I can't tell you the amount of times I heard transfems say “thank god for HRT, imagine balding and having a beer belly ? Ewww” and everyone be like “yas queen” (most of the times these situations didn't happen in a little group of

people behind closed doors, to be clear, it was during trans meetings at our local LGBTQIA center where transmascs and men were there too).

Well, obviously you didn't want that for yourself and I'm glad you won't live that but please, keep that for when you're with your friends not when there's people

who will, maybe, grow to be like you described in horrendous words who can

HEAR YOU.

I'd rather be old and wrinkly with a beer belly and balding, but alive.

And believe me when I say I'm terrified of growing old. But if I have the chance to do so I will take it.

I'd rather grow into a skin that's not conventionally attractive than not grow at all.

And even then, fuck it, bald people are hot, bellies are hot, gray/white hairs are hot. If I ever become a gray bearded dude with tattoos and piercings I'm gonna look cool as fuck.

I'm sorry but I'm sick of hearing “we need more older queer people representions!!!!!” and then I see how you talk about older people in general like ??? It doesn't seem like you want older queers to be seen apart from the types you deem as attractive.

Maybe you're one of the reasons why older queers don't put themselves out there.

You can be as old as you want, it doesn't become less hurtful to see fuckers find your body disgusting, no matter their age.

Don't be a dick.

[riotsux]

I know it's scary sometimes being trans in this world so here are some wonderful stories from my life (preface: I grew up in a large metropolitan area and went to an arts conservatory for high-school that housed IB, naval and neighborhood schools in the same building):

- one time in the breakfast line I was talking to a cis male friend (former "no homo" and "faggot" as an insult dude) about why I wanted to take testosterone and I mentioned my voice and he said "you sound like a dude now, like a 13 year old but still a dude"

- I once won a hairy leg competition against cis men pre testosterone

- once upon a time I was in a band and after a gig this twink came up to me and said "you know, we need more queers in metal" (I was wearing a "faggot" tank top)

- when I started testosterone, I asked the only older trans person I knew at the time to come with (a key holder at my job), it brought along a few friends and between the 4 of us, we all had only two hair colors (neon red and lime green), the nurse helping us all with our paperwork was very confused

- that same day my insurance was acting up and my clinic waived my fees completely for my first year of testosterone

- a girl my sister met in outpatient wasn't doing to well and being the only other trans person they knew at the time, asked me to write the girl a letter, we met again years later, she's an incredible drummer, and after a gig, I was waiting with a pedal board outside the lead singers car and she's hanging out her friends window pointing at me and yelling "this mother fucker saved my life!"

- when my own mother was working at a methadone clinic, she met this older trans woman, hoping to give me some guiding light, she connected us, she kept an eye on me for years

- the day after I came out publicly, during my freshman year of high-school, my brother's friend's (upper classmen) all clapped for me when I came into the lunchroom

- my senior year I was barely in class but one day this girl I had known for years stops me to tell me I was on her "top 10 hottest guys in the school" list

- in high-school whenever a boy was being unhygienic in the group (typically someone's boyfriend) I would be used as an example for how he should be (ex. Putting on chapstick properly)

All I'm saying is there's kindness out there for us, amidst the violence there is so much love there, there's humor to be shared when others are comfortable with us.

I know I'm privileged to have grown up surrounded by queer people and to have been so accepted but

It's all here, I promise, and I promise you can find it

If you can't find it at the moment, make it

[lunacy-luna]

yknow, I've been thinking, and I think I've learned why I always look so bad. As in, why I never wear any nice clothes (despite having plenty) never wear makeup or washing my face (despite having the means to) or never taking care of my hair.

It's avoidance. I don't want people to approach me or be attracted to me in any capacity. So by being completely unapproachable, while at the same time never approaching others, it makes it so that I rarely ever have to deal with the dangers of social interaction (something that is quite risky being trans).

It's the same reason why I never talk with others, have a horrible resting bitch face, and I never actually involve myself in any way shape or form on campus. If I did, then people would guaranteed start seeing me as a weirdo trans woman who is constantly hitting on people (despite me having no interest in doing so. People sexualize trans women so much that it feels like they just automatically assume we have bad intentions no matter what we do).

It's def not a great thing to be doing. But it keeps me feeling safe. And honestly, that's more than how I felt during high school.

[noperopesaredope]

80s American drag ball culture is so fascinating and cool to me from a social and historical standpoint. A while back, I watched this documentary called Paris is Burning which was released in 1990, and I am low key obsessed with it. Like, all these people were rejected by their families and society, and they often had no place to go or no one to support them. So they all ended up banding together to create chosen families. And due to general society's lack of acceptance of their forms of self expression, they decided to create a safespace that allowed them to reject these particular social norms and be themselves. This eventually evolved into a complex culture with traditions and styles of dress and language and social interactions and stuff. It's really beautiful, in a way. I have recently started getting into anthropology since it became one of my require courses, and ballroom culture is a goldmine to me.

I've actually started using it as inspiration for the world of one of my stories. It's just so real and alive and interesting, and it should be appreciated more.

[the-cricket-chirps]

Gustav Klimt, Girlfriends or Two Women Friends, 1916-17 (Destroyed in fire, 1945)

Toulouse Lautrec, Les deux amies, The Two Friends, 1895

[bryqe]

the courage month, June. be whatever the f* u want, don’t stop. and be happy being u, it’s all u have and it’s okay. don’t let them weirdos turn off your life’s light, you’re so loved & appreciated. fuck ’em all. we’ll always exist!!!!!! loveyall 🏳️‍⚧️♡︎

[m1lkteaboi]

This is funny because it has to be. My birth parents put me up for adoption. And my adoptive (extremely religous) parents can't fully love me and won't go to my wedding (if that ever happens) because I'm queer. So both sets of parents really didn't want me. 😂😂😂💀 Like should I give em a refund?

[kyliebomb]

Hello everyone, it’s been so long that I’m not sure if anyone is still there. I see stuff on my timelines but I don’t really talk to anyone on here and don’t remember the last conversation I ever had with anyone. I miss when everyone was talkative. I even made friends on here at one point but some of them vanished. Poof gone like so many in my life have done before. I hope you all are doing alright and I hope you have the best fuckin dreams you have ever had. Goodnight world.

[troutreznor]

A member of the Long Island Femme Expression (LIFE) applying her nail polish. 1991.

photo & caption by Mariette Pathy Allen [website] [instagram]

[bradandchris]

Brad didn’t need anything on his toast. He had all this manspread. Did you need some because the jar was leaking.

[gor3sigil]

The thing about me is that I'm absolutely for everyone. You can who you are, whoever you wanna be, if you're not bigoted in any shape or form, I will respect you. You can try out new pronouns, names or anything with me I'm all for it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.

I love you.

I'm here for you.

Take care.

[i-am-trans-gwender]

My queerphobic parents keep on telling me I'm going to Hell but we live in Indiana! How is Hell any worse?

[a-hag]

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